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- [00:00]
Kendra Adachi
This episode is sponsored by Feeding America. Every act of change begins with a neighbor, with someone saying, we take care of each other. Here in food banks and food pantries, neighbors pack fresh food and dignity into every box, moving food from farms to families through Feeding America's nationwide network. So when that box reaches a home, it carries more than food. It carries a promise that together we can end hunger. Feeding America, led by Neighbors Give now to end hunger@feedingamerica.org this episode is sponsored by the Flexive Gold Journal. If you're a mom, you probably don't need help remembering the hard parts of your day. It's the small good moments that tend to slip through. The Flexive Gold Journal was made with that in mind. It's a one line a day journal you keep for three years. It takes less than two minutes and all you're doing is writing down one small good moment from your day. And over time, that starts to add up. Because as you write today's moment, you can also look back at what you wrote on the same day last year and the year before and get to remember things you would have completely forgotten. It's also beautifully made vegan leather or linen hardcover, and it's designed to live somewhere you'll actually see it, like your nightstand. Mother's Day is May 10th. If you've been wanting something meaningful, this could be it. Go to 3in30podcast.com Gold and use code LAZY10 at checkout for 10% off. That's the number three in the number 30podcast.com Gold code LAZY10 Mother's Day is May 10th. Order soon so it arrives in time.
- [01:35]
Annie
Hi there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This show is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently on this show. We value contentment, compassion and living. In our season, we favor small steps over big systems. Here we are, lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I am so glad that you are here. Today is episode 464, how to create healthier phone habits. I remember the days when we did not all have smartphones. In fact, my husband and held out for years. He did not have a cell phone of any kind until like 15 years ago and it was because his parents were like, sir, you have children. You need to be reachable. It's hilarious. So today's episode, it is exactly what the title says. We're gonna talk about how to create healthier phone habits. Healthy habits are personal. What's healthy or unhealthy for me might not be for you. So this is not a judgmental episode. Instead, we're going to examine what healthy means for you, what parts of the phone experience need some attention, and figure out how to create some better practices that align with what matters to you. I think by the end of the episode, you're gonna feel excited about how to start small with making your phone part of your life and have tools that are aligned with how you want your phone to be part of your life, whatever that looks like. After that, we're gonna have a little extra something in the form of my most used phone phone apps. I mean, it is an episode about healthy phone habits. This changes my favorite apps. It changes depending on, like, seasons of life and stuff. Right? But I will share my go to favorite apps and even a little bit about how they're organized. As always, we will hear from the lazy genius of the week, who might have possibly solved laundry, and we will close with a mini pep talk for when you feel lonely in your uncommon choice. You know, sometimes we do things that are against the grain a little things that are difficult, different from most folks that we see or even people that we know that it's something that matters to us, that other people just don't understand, and that can sometimes feel really lonely. So that pep talk is for you. All right, before we get into the episode, I want to tell you a little bit about how we, as the Lazy genius collective, use Spotify for episodes, and how I personally use Spotify in a way that you might enjoy. Okay, so staying on theme here with the phone, Spotify is an app that a lot of people use. Obviously not everyone, of course, but for. For those of you who do, I wanted to make sure that you find my profile. It's a personal profile, actually. It's not like a business profile. We don't have a business one. So everything I'm about to tell you is housed inside my personal Spotify profile. So when you open Spotify, you're gonna search my username, Kendra Joiner, as Joy. Joy. Like Joy, not an I. Joiner Adachi. You'll find two main things there in my profile that you might like. The first is a folder called Podcast Flights. So these are folders or groups of episodes of the Lazy Genius podcast that you might wanna listen to when you're dealing with a particular area of life. They are categorized, so to speak, based on what it is you're experiencing and what you might wanna listen to. Every episode we make does not go inside one of these podcast playlists. This is. But super relevant ones do. So we have a podcast playlist with all the episodes that we have ever done with guests. We have another one with all the episodes we've ever done for office hours that is really fun to listen to if you just wanna hear some like good old problem solving. If you're needing help with some sort of life transition, there is a folder called Change. And in there you'll find episodes on like how to Lazy Genius, a big change, what to do when you're bored with your life, and then specific episodes about big changes like a wedding, moving, a new baby, even a faith crisis. Now, if you're in a big time of transition, there is a curated selection of episodes that might meet you right where you are. We have playlists for cooking and kids and work and summer sanity, which might be like really good to start listening to now because summer is approaching. There's even one called Starter Pack that has some of our best, most evergreen, most foundational, beloved episodes. You can obviously head to our website and scroll episodes or like even do that on whatever app you use, but that's a lot of scrolling, you know. Today is episode 464 We have a ton of bonus episodes. You don't need to scroll 464 episodes if you don't want to. You just need a handful that will help you now. So if you would like to access those, just hop on Spotify, you can find my profile but and scroll until you see the folder labeled Podcast Flights. And while you're scrolling, you can also see a ton of music playlists that I have made over the years. Like so many. Some might not mean anything to you because playlists are obviously personal, but there are some really good ones in there. And I try to make the playlist names descriptive enough that they match a mood. Like there's a playlist called Gonna Try to Run. Those are my like pump me up running songs when I'm gonna give it a try. I don't usually last very long cause I have glass knees. But it's still fun to have, you know. I also have a playlist that I just saw when I was scrolling called Calling for Spring, which feels like the right vibe right now in early April. Anyway, if you would like some curated podcast episodes or music playlists, you can check out my Spotify profile. The name again is Kendra Joiner. Joy Adachi. All right, before we get into how to create healthier phone habits, let's take a quick break to hear from our sponsors, which make this show free for you to listen to. And here's your quick reminder about the podcast recap email we send out every other Friday. It's called Latest Lazy Listens. It summarizes the episodes so you don't have to take notes. It shares the Lazy Genius of the Week as well as other segments we have on the show. And it has a little extra note for me to help encourage you through the weekend. So so if you would like to get that recap, head to the lazygeniuscollective.com listens.
- [08:10]
Kendra Adachi
This episode is sponsored by Good Ranchers. Spring always feels like the start of spending more time outside, having people over and thinking a little differently about meals at home and when I'm planning ahead for that. I already know that I'm trusting Good Ranchers.
- [08:23]
Annie
I've been a subscriber for a couple
- [08:24]
Kendra Adachi
of months now, and it's changed how I think about what I keep on handling. Everything comes from American Farms and shows up right at my door, which takes one more thing off my list. And they have custom boxes now, which
- [08:35]
Annie
I really like because I can choose
- [08:37]
Kendra Adachi
the cuts I know my family loves. We're a big steak family and I am the winner of said family. When I come in with a steak off the grill for dinner, it's so great to open the freezer and see items we'll actually use from farmers I can trust. And with my Code Genius, you'll get free meat for life and $25 off your first order. That's free meat with every order and $25 off your first order with my code genius when you subscribe on goodranchers.com goodranchers.com American meat delivered
- [09:11]
Annie
this episode is
- [09:11]
Kendra Adachi
sponsored by Daily Look.
- [09:13]
Annie
It is so easy to let the act of getting dressed fall to the
- [09:17]
Kendra Adachi
bottom of your priority list. Like there's always something else that feels more important, that takes your time, and then suddenly you're wearing the same few things over and over without really thinking about it. And that's part of why I like using DailyLook. DailyLook is the number one highest rated premium personal styling service for women. And what makes it different is you're working with a real person, your own stylist who gets to know your preferences, your life and what you actually wear. They send a box with pieces chosen for you and you try Everything on at home. You keep what works, send back what doesn't, and shipping is free both ways. I like that I don't have to spend time searching for things or wondering if something's going to work.
- [09:52]
Annie
It shows up.
- [09:53]
Kendra Adachi
I try it on and I can
- [09:54]
Annie
see how it fits with what I already have.
- [09:57]
Kendra Adachi
Elevate your style by signing up@dailylook.com today. Take your style quiz@dailylook.com and get 50% off your first styling fee with the code LazyGenius. That's Daily Look.com code LazyGenius.
- [10:13]
Annie
All right, here's the thing. When we talk about something that we might want to change, like maybe having healthier phone habits, we think really big. We need all the ideas. We start to collect hacks, all the things. No, that's not what we're doing today. This episode will not be like a long list of ideas or habits that you should try. Now, you can't even try a habit. You have to develop one. But you know what I'm saying? In order for you to have a better relationship with your phone. Like, I think those kinds of lists are fine. Like, here's a bunch of ideas of how to spend less time on your phone if that's what you want. But as lazy geniuses, we want to start small. And we also want to make sure that we are choosing tools that really support what matters to us. If you just start randomly trying, like a new phone habit, trying to develop one without it being rooted in something really specific to you that matters, you will quit. You will quit. So today we're going to use our trusty, dependable, magically simple, lazy Lazy Genius method to create healthier phone habits. Whenever you have a larger issue you would like to Lazy Genius, the five step Lazy Genius method is your friend. So the lazy genius method first appeared in my second book, the Lazy Genius Kitchen. That was the book that fell into the ocean where I applied this method to several areas of your kitchen. Planning, shopping, prep, hosting, more. But what's great is that this method works pretty much anywhere, not just the kitchen. It helps you make a big problem smaller and weed through the noise to find solutions that genuinely help make life easier and better. You don't need a new list of hacks to throw at the wall. I want you to go through this process of figuring out what, what singular choice might make an exceptional difference based on what matters to you in any area of your life. But obviously, today we're talking about phones. So it's five steps. And let's just quickly Review them now for anybody new and as a review for people who haven't used them in a while before we start applying them to the phones. Okay, so step one is to prioritize. You have to name what matters about whatever problem you're trying to solve. Okay, that's step one, prioritize. Step two, essentialize. You have to get rid of what's in the way, of whatever matters to you. You gotta get rid of what's in the way. You also wanna make sure you have what you need to support it. You wanna have the essentials. Nothing more or less if you can help it. Okay, step three is to organize. So prioritize, essentialize, organize. This is where you put everything in its place. So often we organize something chaotic before we essentialize, which means we're organizing a ton of stuff we don't actually need. The steps really do matter here. Okay, so organize is three. Fourth is to personalize. You want to feel like yourself. You want to make decisions that align with your personal values, but also make life fun, maybe light. And finally, step number five in the lazy genius method is to systemize. This one's probably gonna come in pretty big. With phones, you wanna keep things in a flow, you know, you wanna keep your choices moving without a lot of effort. Okay, so prioritize, essentialize, organize, personalize, and systemize. That is the lazy genius method. Now let's apply those to our phones and see how we can come out on the other side with some choices that could eventually become healthier phone habits. All right, so first thing is, we're going to prioritize what matters to you about your relationship with your phone. I think the more specific you can be, the better. Okay, let's say you name something rather common like, I want to spend less time on my phone. Okay, that's great. But that's likely not going to be specific or small enough to make decisions to help you get there. Right. It's like less time. Like when using what apps like it, you know, it's just too hard, it's too unwieldy. But if you say, I'd like to spend less time on my phone first thing in the morning, or I'd like to spend less time on my phone right before I go to bed, that specificity that can help you make decisions specifically for that thing. Right. It also your priority about phone might not be about time at all. It might be a specific app. You know, I use my phone. I use my phone all the time. I use my phone to read every day. I use it to listen to music and audiobooks and play the New York Times games. I use it to text and vox and stay in touch with people. I don't actually necessarily wanna limit my time, but I do wanna limit how much time I spend on things that have an endless scroll. You know, online shopping, social media. Those are major sources of distraction because they just never end. And because we know that they're built to do that. They're built to make us stay. I know that I personally have to be pretty vigilant about not getting sucked in. Cause it's built to suck me in. That's the whole point, right? So it could be the thing that matters to you the most. It could be the amount of time that you spend. It could be the time of day that you're on the phone, the type of thing that you're doing on your phone. Or maybe your priority is to not let your phone interfere with relational interactions. Maybe you're on your phone a lot for work or whatever, and you, like, kind of need to be. But you would also like to prioritize being more engaged with your kids when they come home from school or when they come into a room rather than being on your phone. Once you've had that interaction with them and are present with them, then you can go back to doing your work on your phone or whatever. Right? The point here too is like, we all have different priorities. You wanna choose yours, but remember, we all have different ones. But the more specific you can make yours, the easier it will be to support it. I wanna spend less time on my phone is much harder and broader to support than I wanna stop waking up and getting on my phone right away. That is smaller, is more specific, and it's easier to support. Okay, I'm gonna share my own application of the lazy genius method to my phone habits as we go through this. So for me, that's what I said. My priority right now is not getting sucked into Instagram and online shopping apps. Anything that's driven by an algorithm. I'm like on high alert for an algorithm. It becomes a time suck. You know, it's like that thing where you look up and 45 minutes has gone by. That is my personal priority to avoid those kinds of situations. So that's step one. Prioritize. Name what matters to you. It does not matter what it is. It only matters that it matters to you. Now, one note before we move on to step two. You might be like, well, all of this matters. You might want to lower the time, lower the algorithm. Apps change how you reach for your phone at certain times a day, Be more present. Something. I didn't mention all of it, but what you need to do first is start small. Choose one, choose one priority, choose whatever. Feel like it matters the most. In this season of life, you have time to deal with the other things. It is better to start small with one. Set yourself up well, see what works, and then fold in another priority down the road. Do not start too big. This is not gonna stick if you do. Remember, we don't do that here. We don't do change your life stuff unless it's chicken. Okay? I know it all feels like it matters, but I want you to choose just one small thing to do that does matter right now. And starting with those choices, that is actually what eventually does change your life. Okay, step two. Essentialize. You want to have what you need, and you want to get rid of what you don't. And this has to align with your priority. Okay? It doesn't really matter if you get rid of things or add things that don't match what matters. Right? That's wasted effort, you know? So if you're the person who wants to, like, not look at her phone at night before bed, what is keeping you from doing that? Maybe it's just automatic right now and you don't even think about it. So you could set a downtime boundary on your phone where it, like, grays out apps after a certain time of night. You know, a downtime setting gets rid of, like, easily being able to open an app automatically. It creates an obstacle for you. Right. Another thing that could be in the way is that you do things on your phone at night, like read or play a game. But because you do those things on your phone, you're more likely to spend longer on your phone reading or playing games, but then also hopping over to other apps that suck you in. We all do it. It's like, let me check my email really quick. Let me check Instagram really quick. We all do that. So maybe you essentialize by reading on a Kindle or holding a physical book instead of reading on your phone just for at night, you're still doing the same activity. You're just exchanging your phone for something else or for games. You know, if you kind of like the mindless gaming at night transfer that still do the same sort of thing. Sit in the same place on the couch or in your bed or whatever. The transfer that to like a deck of cards or a board game with someone you live with, or like a quiet hobby like crocheting or whatever. Like, to keep your hands busy and your brain off like a game would. Again, some type of activity at night, just not on your phone, right? That could help you because the phone itself is the obstacle. You also might want to just eliminate a particular app entirely. I used to have the Facebook app on my phone just in case it felt annoying to have to, like, log in on a web browser when I could just click the app if I needed to check something. But then I would so easily just click the app and then end up doom scrolling or getting mad at people or think I needed to pick things up on Facebook Marketplace that I didn't really need. Deleting the app was actually so much easier than having to navigate a complicated relationship with the app. Like, it was better for me to log in in that wonky way on the web browser than to deal with having an app that I was keeping just in case. So that might be a pretty cutthroat but potentially helpful way to essentialize. It's just like, delete the app that you don't want to be on all the time. You also might want to get rid of notifications. Maybe you feel like your phone's beck and call and never realized how many notifications you get that just aren't really necessary. They're pinging your attention, they're grabbing your attention. And you might think that they're not, but maybe they are. Maybe if you pay attention to that, they are. You can turn them off. Like for most apps, even specific apps, you can turn the notifications off. Right? For certain apps, if you would rather choose how you spend your time with that app instead of being called to it. Right. Or you can leave notifications on if you want, so you can see, but you turn the phone to silent. Eliminate the noise if that is what's getting to you, if that's what's in the way. Whatever your priority is noise and notifications, you can make some adjustments there. You also want to make sure you have what you need if you really do not want to start your day checking your phone first thing, because you know that you're gonna, like, check your email and you're gonna see news and you're gonna see tasks that you don't have the brain power to figure out yet, or that you'll turn off your alarm and you're gonna check the weather, but then you do what we do and quickly pop over to Instagram just to see, even though you always stay on it longer than you want to because of the algorithm. We all do It I want you to think about what you need to add to your life to make that from happening, if you want that to stop happening. So you might need an actual alarm clock. It could be that picking up the phone itself is the thing. So you need an alarm clock to keep you from grabbing your phone first thing in the morning. Or if you don't like the idea of charging your phone in another room, like, I don't do that either. That's a common suggestion is to plug in your phone in a different room so it's not by your bed. I don't do that. Mine's by my bed. That you can plug it in close enough to, like, hear your alarm or hear your white noise or whatever it is that you're wanting to be sure that you're close to, but the phone is not plugged in close enough to your bed that you can touch the phone without getting out of bed. You know, maybe you just need to, like, move the phone charger to an outlet that's a little more out of reach. Whatever matters to you, whatever it is, doesn't matter. Make sure that you have what you need and get rid of what you don't in order to support what matters. If there are a handful of things that could be culprits or helpers, I want you to start small with just one. See how one choice affects whatever phone habit you're trying to adjust. And if it works, wait until it's singing a little, you know, before adding in another adjustment. You don't have to do it all at one time. If you do, it probably won't work anyway. Or if it doesn't work, this gives you room. If it doesn't work. If you try one thing and it doesn't work, then you can try something else, right? Maybe putting your phone out of reach does not work, but like a home screen photo with your toddler, like, pointing a sassy finger at you as if to say, like, no, don't reach for me. Maybe that makes you laugh in the morning and put your phone down. I don't know. Just try something and see what works. If it does, keep going. If it doesn't, try something else. I mentioned that my current priority for my phone is to not get pulled in by algorithms. Really, I just don't want to get sucked into my phone at all. Notifications for me have been off forever for that very reason. The only notifications I get are texts, phone calls, and voxer. There's no news, there's no social media. I even leave calendar Notifications on only if the event is something I'm gonna forget, which is several things. So I do use calendar notifications sometimes, but notifications can really pull me in and make me open the phone when I don't need to. And then I do the thing where I just hop around just to see real quick. And then 25 minutes have gone by. So that is really, really helped to keep notifications off. I also essentialize by not having Instagram on my phone for most of the week. Y' all know this because I've shared it often, just even the progress of it. But I have slowly essentialized Instagram being off my phone for, like, most of the week. I used to. It used to be like, I would leave it on from Monday through Thursday, kind of like the work week, but now it's pretty much just Monday. That way I'm not sucked in. I was able to name that that was my biggest obstacle. Like, literally having Instagram on my phone was my biggest obstacle. So it was just better for me to be like, let's just get rid of this obstacle entirely. So that's the second step is to essentialize, get rid of what's in the way, have what you need, get rid of what you don't. And then let's move into step three, which is to organize or put everything in its place. Now, this might be actual organization on your phone, like where the apps are, right? You can choose where you want to put apps that you want to avoid. They could, like, you could put all of your avoidable apps in one folder that's labeled, like, all caps, Emergency Use only. I don't know. You know, to remind you visually, like, hey, only go here if you have to, girl, only go here if you have to. Or you can just move the apps that you don't want to be engaged with as much off of your home screen so you don't see them. Apple phones, they even let you hide an app from view so that you have to search for it specifically in order to use it. So that could be a really nice option if you don't want to delete an app entirely, but you would rather it not be in view. But the organization step three, organize. It could be the actual organization of your home screen, like where you put your apps. This is where you might put app limits on certain apps or the phone itself. You could organize your time spent on the phone by creating boundaries and limits to support that, to support when and when you don't want to be on your phone, or if your priority is Presence with other people. Maybe your organization is more about your calendar than your phone. You can look at the times of day that you want to be locked in with your kids or your work or whatever it is, and you set an alarm for that time to put the phone down and put it away for that half hour or hour or whatever it is. And then when your kids get home from school, you are there when ready to greet them and be with them. There's no distracting phone in sight. You have put it away. You're organizing your time, right, to support what matters to you about your phone. I remember when my kids were younger, I had two in elementary school and one in early middle school. And I felt so distracted in the afternoon by my phone, I kept it close again. It was like, just in case. Just in case there was like, you know, an emergency or whatever. But also it's like, well, what if there's like a lull in homework or a lull in the conversation? And by having my phone close by, I could stay on top of email or I could respond to a couple of dms or whatever. This is when I had Instagram on all the time and was doing that, I was posting more, which meant I had more DMs to respond to. It felt like I was being ready and efficient by having the phone right there so that I could, like, do work in the. In the cracks. But really, it just took me out of that time completely. So I started plugging my phone. I would plug it into the charger, like, far away from the kitchen table right before the kids got home, and I would leave it there until they were off doing screen time, like right before I made dinner. It made a massive difference in my presence with them. I, like, enjoyed those afternoons because I wasn't dividing my attention or constantly being pulled by notification. And as far as the whole, like, well, what if there's a lull and what if there's a break? Like, am I just going to sit there and stare at my children? I mean, I could. They're really cute that I would have a book with me instead. I'd have a book to fill the time if there was time to be filled. So that's that. Now for my phone habits. Now I have put Instagram in its place. Like I said, its place is barely there. I have it on my phone on Mondays. I use it to make a reel for the podcast. If you follow me on Instagram, Helazygenius, you know that I post a reel about the podcast every Monday. And then I Don't really post anything else. And then at the end of the day, I delete the app. It's gone. If I need to check DMs or something, then I will check it on my laptop. That it's far less distracting to scroll on my laptop. I know he's gonna scroll on their laptop. That's weird. I also have a time limit on that app on Instagram. That way I have a trigger to like, get off of the app before too much time has gone by, even on the days that it is on my phone. So three years ago, probably, I think that the, the time limit was something like, I don't know, like two hours. That gave me time to make cool reels and stuff, which I sort of used to do. Then they took a lot more time. And then it was time to also scroll Instagram a ton. Because I like, you know, enjoyed Instagram. This past year, it went down to 50 minutes, 5, 0. But recently, just a few months ago, I even felt like 50 minutes was more time than I needed or even wanted. So now my limit is 25 minutes a day, or really 25 minutes on Monday. That's really what it is. I get 25 minutes on Monday. What it does, here's the thing that's wild is it takes the pressure off of having to make like a fancy reel, since I just don't care about doing that all that much. It's just me talking and explaining the episode. There's no like music or transitions or it's not like a flashy reel, which those are great. And I love that people make amazing content. That is just not my skill set, nor my desire. So having a 25 minute limit actually really supports that. And it also, that 25 minutes, it maybe gives me like 10 minutes to watch a couple of funny videos. Usually I will go directly to the account, make some noise, which I love with my whole heart, and I will watch a couple of videos that I miss because they have like a TV show sort of thing, like a web show every week. And so I'll just go catch up on that and then I'm kind of done. The more time that's gone by, the less I miss it, the less I miss Instagram. Now, that doesn't always happen for people or even need to. This is not like a, hey, guys, get off Instagram. That's not true. I, I, as a person, I am grateful for what it's done for me, especially since my priority is to stay away from anything with an algorithm. It's been really Good for me. It's been healthy for me. It's been such a good choice and really was a series of choices, right, that began with, like, limiting the days that it was on my phone. And then the time, everything just over years just kept adjusting and adjusting until I have Instagram 25 minutes on Mondays. Eventually it's like gonna shrink into nothing. We'll see what happens. So what do you need to put in its place to help support your priority? Whatever it is. Okay, the fourth step is to personalize. Now, here's one thing about the lazy genius method. While every step matters, some will have more or less importance. Depending on what your is. For phones, I think personalize might not be as important. It might not come into play as strongly as, say, essentialize or systemize. I think those are the two heavy hitters for healthier phone habits. Part of what makes you feel like yourself, which is the goal of personalize, is less of your phone, possibly. So trying to personalize the phone experience, it almost feels counterintuitive. That being said, there could be ways to make the relationship with your phone more fun and personal. So what is enjoyable about it? Lean into the things that you love about your phone. I love reading. Shocker. So all of my reading apps are on my home screen. Like, they're right there. I want them as close to me as they can possibly be. I also love texting and Voxer because I like people. I love staying in touch with my friends. So those are also on my home screen because they matter to me and I'm not gonna put limits on those because why would I? Why would I? What makes me feel like myself is reading and staying connected to people. So those are gonna be right there. Now you might personalize your relationship with your phone by making. You could make your home screen or your lock screen something that reminds you of what matters, whether it's your family or something having nothing to do with your family. There was one stretch where I was home with tiny children and my lock screen was this really funny painting of Timothee Chalamet. That was my lock screen because I was like, I love pop culture. I need to remember that. I love other things than wiping noses and changing diapers or whatever it was. So get the fun pop socket. Get the colorful case. Do things that are fun and feel personal for you when it's connected to your phone. You can also pay attention to when you feel like yourself during the day, like the time of day, and make a conscious decision about how much you want your phone to be active. Or inactive during that time. Maybe your phone keeps you from the energy you want to have, or maybe certain apps make that energy better. Only you can know that. I would also encourage you to make choices that support your priorities without worrying about other people too much. That's another way that you can actually personalize your choices. I know that can be challenging for a variety of reasons. In fact, that's what today's pep talk is about. But I do think that a way to personalize your relationship with your phone is to, in fact, keep it personal. Don't worry about other people's opinions too much. Everyone gets to choose what matters to them. And as long as those choices are not bringing harm to someone else, like, feel free to personalize the choice the way you want to, even if it's really, really different from what someone else would choose. Okay, so that's step four, personalize. Don't get hung up if you don't spend very long there. Step five, systemize. So this is our final step. This is the way that we keep things in a flow. It's kind of like where the rubber meets the road. Um, it's step. It's a step you want to pay attention to. Cause it's what keeps things moving. So the longer you keep your small solution moving, the more it's going to turn into a habit or something that's really helpful to you, right? Which creates a more consistent relationship with your phone in the direction you want it to be. Think about my Instagram app. Really, that's the main thing that I started to do. There were other small things that I would add in, but the primary choice I made to support my priority of not getting sucked into an algorithm was to slowly begin to limit Instagram. And I just kept doing that. I just kept that moving. And it picked up speed and moved and moved until again, I'm at 25 minutes on a Monday. And I'm great with that. I'm great with that. If I wasn't great with that, I wouldn't make that choice. If I wanted more Instagram, I would find a way to do it that I actually am happy with less. But that was the main decision that I just kept trying to keep in a flow. I kept trying to systemize that. Right? Okay, so let's say your priority is to spend less time on your phone at night before you go to bed. Okay? That's your priority. That's what you're aiming for. That's what you've essentialized. All the things you, maybe you've put Some time limits in place. You maybe chose like a shorter charger that you can't reach from your bed so you don't lie there and scroll rather than read or just go to sleep. Those are all great things, whatever. But it's really easy to fall back into old habits quickly before the new ones take root. So to that end, maybe for the first few weeks or something, you could make a phone alarm that goes off at 8:30 or whenever you want it to, you know, whenever you want to stop. And the alarm, you know, you can change the name of the alarm. Maybe the name of the alarm is something like reading matters more or Going to sleep matters more or whatever it is, whatever you want the alarm. Make yourself laugh, but remind yourself every day that you're wanting to choose something different. That's the whole point here. Even though you've already put some boundaries in place, help yourself stay in a flow by remembering what matters, by reminding yourself of why you're doing this in the first place. And if that why doesn't stick, I don't think that's the one to choose. I don't think that's really a priority. Maybe it's something you feel like you should do, but maybe that's actually not enough of a priority to motivate you right now. So go back to step one and start again. See what a priority would be. So some ways that you can systemize, you can decide once. That's one of our favorite lazy genius principles, right? You can decide once. Like I did that a limited number of days a week on are my like social media days. Or you could make it like your news days. You know that you don't read the news every single day on your app. It's like every other day or every two days or whatever it is you need. You know that the day, the social media day or the news day or whatever it is, it will return again, right? Monday's, Monday's coming again. So that day will come when you get back on Instagram or you use your Amazon or your Sephora app to shop or whatever. You're trying not to do that every day. Cause it scrolls and you buy things you don't need. That's just an example. But for now, you have decided once that you are going to use that app on just a set day or several days. So decide once. This is the day I use this and this is the day that I do not. Okay? You can use the lazy genius principle. Let people in. You can share what you're choosing with a friend. Who will encourage you? You know, it's. You can treat it like an account accountability partner, or, you know, do something together if you want. But maybe you have a friend who is also trying to not get on her phone right away in the morning and, like, not scroll social media or email the first thing when she wakes up. So maybe instead of that, the two of you are like, we're gonna talk on the phone in the morning, or you're gonna, like, share what you did first thing in the morning. You're gonna, like, take a picture of yourself getting out of bed, you know, or, like, sitting in your cozy chair or making your coffee or something. It's almost like a Marco Polo situation. Like, let someone else into your choices to help them stay in a flow if that really helps you. You can also anticipate obstacles which will keep things flowing. Right? Obstacles are what stop us. So you can anticipate those obstacles by asking yourself the magic question, what can you do now while you're motivated and excited to have a better relationship with your phone? What can you do now to make sticking to whatever choice you make easier later? If you heard the whole, like, yeah, I should probably put an alarm clock in my room. I've heard that so many times before. That's probably my best bet. Okay, go grab the random alarm clock that you've got stored in your closet and put it on your nightstand now, instead of waiting until right before bed and you're like, rummaging around with your contacts out and you can't find the thing, and it's frustrating. And then you are like, this is dumb. And then you don't do it at all. You know, go get the alarm clock right now. You can go ahead and make the reminder alarm to put your phone down at night or to put your phone down when your kids get home from school, you can go ahead and grab a book from your bookshelf or grab the yarn for your crochet thing or whatever it is to put by your bed or by the couch to remind you later. Visually, I would rather read. I would rather crochet. I would rather fill in the blank. The point of step five is to make it easier to keep going, to stay in the flow of what you have chosen. Now, here's the thing. The smaller your choices, the easier they are to choose. And we'll say that one more time. The smaller the choices, the easier they are to choose. This is why we don't make giant systems, you guys. This is why that you don't start with being like, I Have this is a certain number of hours a day and I'm going to limit seven different apps and then I'm going to go on a phone detox first though, just so I. No, no, just make one choice that supports what matters to you. Just do the downtime thing at 9 o' clock and call it good. Start as small as you need to and that will actually make it easier to stay in a flow. Cause small steps are easier to do than all these big ones, like I said. So I decided for my own situation, I decided once that Monday is Instagram day. After that it's gone from my phone. I systemized my news. Cause that was also a really hard thing. I was getting a lot of news on Instagram, but it was like it was news that made me feel a lot of things not on my own timeline, right? Like there were some time. It's all things that I want to know about, but not like at 3:30 in the afternoon when I'm kind of hormonal and really struggling already. And it just sort of sends me rolling down the hill. Like I want to be a little bit more in control of when I am reading the news. And actually that was also a small choice that I made. I don't really listen to the news anymore. I would rather read it because I don't like to hear. I sort of get triggered by certain things and so reading it is better for me. So I systemize my news by getting Sharon McMahon's Daily Brief email. I just get that. That keeps me off my phone too, which is really nice. It comes at the end of the day so it's not sort of hijacking the entire day in a way that's very easy for me to do. So I'm still engaged, but doing it kind of on my own timeline based on what matters to me. Right? So that's been really, really helpful. I put all, like I said, I put all my reading, music and communication apps on my home screen because those are the ones that matter to me. And that's what I want to use my phone for. And everything else that I don't wanna see, it's just in folders on other pages. So I have to like go dig for things that level of organization that keeps things in a flow for me. So simply do whatever small thing you need. One thing to support what matters to you. I don't think that creating healthier phone habits is one size fits all or something that you can do in one fell swoop. Like I said, most of us have to go through like a fairly long process of kind of disentangling ourselves from certain aspects of our phone that we didn't know would insert themselves into our lives so aggressively. So be patient. You know, be patient. Do one thing at a time. Don't shame yourself for having a hard time with it or for having different priorities as someone else. But the best way to know where to focus your limited energy in having a better relationship with your phone and learning to develop healthier habits for you is to prioritize or name what matters. The smaller you can make it, the better. Okay, essentialize or get rid of what's in the way. You want to have what you need and not have what you don't. You want to organize or put everything in its place. Personalize so you can feel like yourself, and then systemize it so you can stay in a flow. If you follow those five steps, you keep them small and specific and you stay kind as you try to see what works. You will be well on your way to healthier phone habits 100%. And that's how to create healthier phone habits
- [46:08]
Kendra Adachi
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Annie
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Kendra Adachi
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Annie
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Kendra Adachi
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Annie
I've noticed this at a lot of the places I go to regularly. Just last week at a tea shop
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Kendra Adachi
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Annie
Checkout is quick, receipts show up right
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Kendra Adachi
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Annie
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Kendra Adachi
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- [48:12]
Annie
Get started today. All right, let's get in. Today's a little extra something. These are my most used phone apps. You're going to be shocked at what they are based on what I said in the episode already. But I also feel like this might be like a little boring, which is kind of a funny disclaimer. But like, I think if someone that I listened to was like, hey, here's the apps I use every day, I'd be like, I wanna know. So that's why I'm sharing them. Okay, so I regularly use all the basics, right? Phone, text, email, maps. Gosh, do I need maps? Your girl gets lost everywhere. Um, I use Google Drive. Cause I use that for personal stuff and work stuff. I use that a lot. Notes, the clock because of like alarms and timers. I need my clock for my 17 minute nap and photo and camera, you know, no surprises. All the basics. There are some other like normal life apps that I use like the weather app. I use the Weather channel. My husband uses AccuWeather and thinks that my choice is far inferior, but he can think that if he wants. I use my white noise app for like nighttime when I go to sleep for my 17 minute naps. I use Overcast for podcast listening. I use Spotify for music. I have apps for grocery ordering. I have the road ready app to track my son's driving hours. I use New York Times cooking for recipes and New York Times games obviously, because you got to play wordle and Connections and Strands every day. I used to play pips every day. I really like pips, but it almost like it made me more stressed out in a way that I didn't really love. So I, I kind of, I don't play pips every day. I have to be like, have to be in the right mindset to play pips. And then Annie like, and also Annie and I both love to play Connections together. So you know, that's we Gotta have the New York Times game app close by. Okay, so those are. Those are like the normals kind of this. The standards. Slightly surprising apps that I use a lot. Slightly, like every day. Like, these are apps I use every day. I use the Merlin Bird ID app. I have mentioned that app before. It's so good. It is an app that takes a recording of your surroundings. It's like a live recording and it identifies all the bird song. So. And you know, I love my birds, so it's so much fun. I'm trying to learn, like, trying to identify birds by their calls. I'm not super great at it yet. I just don't think I remember auditory things very well. But it's still really fun to try. Also, Annie and I will. We love to turn the app on and let it run when we're walking to school, when it's warm enough to walk to school and like, see how many different bird species we can hear. So on like temperate mornings, I'll also crack open my window by my reading chair when I'm having, like, time for my soul, and I'll turn on the app to hear what birds are up early and chirping with me. I love the app. I love it so much. Merlin, like the wizard. I don't know why they call it Merlin, but anyway, the Merlin app is tremendous. Another app that I use regularly is the 5Calls app that helps me call my representatives more easily. I mentioned that in an episode a couple of weeks ago during a different. A little extra something about how to call your representatives. But keeping that app on the front page, it just helps remind me to do it. I weirdly love the Voice Memos app. That's like the native voice recording app that comes on Apple phones. I use it a lot. I use it pretty much every day. So because I'm a verbal processor, sometimes I just need to, like, talk. I just need to get some words out to figure out what I think about something, to find an idea to land on a conclusion. And so I just need to, like, talk where I can listen back if I need to. I usually actually delete them right away. Cause I get to the end and I'm like, oh, there we go. Got it. But somehow recording it really helps because I may have, like, ideas in there in the processing that I don't want to lose. So it's. It's nice to put them somewhere so I don't forget them, like in a voice memos app. So I'll save certain conversations I have with myself. Let's Walk away from that.
- [52:37]
Kendra Adachi
Okay.
- [52:38]
Annie
I also use the voice recording app to capture songs that I've written or melodies I want to try. That's something I do a lot. I use. Use the app to record when the kids are, like, just laughing or when they're, like, playing music. I. I just have, like, a number of little, like, weird little audio recordings from regular life, and I love it. I love it so much. I once recorded when Ben was, like, six.
- [53:05]
Kendra Adachi
Oh.
- [53:05]
Annie
Can I add a little bit of this to the episode? Hold, please. Okay, wait. So you want me to make a camp for boys and girls? And girls. Sorry. For boys and girls who are scared of bees. Okay, what are the levels?
- [53:19]
Ben
Training? Level one.
- [53:20]
Annie
Training.
- [53:21]
Ben
Level one, bumblebee. Level two, carpenter bee. Level three, honeybee. Level four, wasp. Level five, a hornet.
- [53:34]
Annie
What about a yellow jacket or ZL jacket? Yeah.
- [53:36]
Ben
And level six, yellow jacket. Since hornets seem a little bit less terrifying than a yellow jacket. And you can make them out of. And you can probably like. I feel like I. It would be weird if you could, like, tame those things and make them. I feel like you should make the bake bees.
- [54:02]
Annie
Yeah. How do you do training? Like, how do I. How would I do that? Like, what would we do in the camp?
- [54:13]
Ben
I'm kind of biting it just a little bit.
- [54:16]
Annie
You're biting it? Your lollipop? Well, you think about that, and you let me know if you got any ideas.
- [54:20]
Ben
I think I'll sit in the sun.
- [54:22]
Annie
Okay. Oh, my gosh. I can't handle it. I can't handle it. Annie just sit there eating her lollipop. Ben doesn't know how he wants to finish the bee training, so he's like, I'm gonna go sit in the sun, y'. All. This is why I use the voice memo app. I've got so many of these just, like, little. When the kids just start talking, it's the best thing ever. Like, this is why I'm like, I want us to keep my. I don't have the. I mean, I could have, like, a little handheld hand tape recorder, but come on. Like, what a gift to be able to just grab that and then listen to it anytime. Like, I hope you know that I think phones are really incredible tools when they support what matters to you. And remembering Ben's idea for bee training for kids who are scared of bees is, like, the greatest joy of my whole actual life. Okay. Okay. One thing you do want to do is to label these, like, this. This clip. I was able to find it in two seconds because it's Called Ben's idea for bee training. So that is one thing with your voice mimosas to do it. Oh, my gosh, what a fun. What a fun discovery that was today. Okay. Of course I'm not gonna be able to recover from that. Okay.
- [55:37]
Kendra Adachi
Of course.
- [55:38]
Annie
My most used apps are all my reading apps. So some of them are in a folder on the first screen and then some are just out on the screen, like out where I can just tap it. It's my Kindle app. It's Libby, where I get all my library holds and then both chirp and. And audible, which I use both of those for listening to audio books. Then I have a reading folder that has four more reading apps. It has two subscription apps, Book of the Month and Aardvark Book Club, and then two tracking apps. First, I use Book Buddy to log every single book I read and every single book I have not read, but I own, either on my physical bookshelves or my Kindle bookshelves. For books I read, I give it a star rating. I list any relevant info I wanna remember. And then the most fun thing to me about this app is I get to scroll by book cover. Like I'm just scrolling book covers, man, with nothing else. No words. It's just book covers. Endless scrolls of book covers. It's like my favorite thing ever. It makes me so happy. It's kind of like Goodreads, I guess. I don't use Goodreads, but it's private and I think it's prettier, at least to me. So I just really, really love it. Then for tracking, I use Trello. That's the other thing I use for tracking that is more just like titles and dates when I finish the book. And it also, that's how I rank my favorite books of the year. So I wrote a blog post about this ages ago, which we can link to in the show notes. But I essentially have two lists that I keep per year. One is what I read in chronological order and then the other is what I read in order of favorites. So when I finish a book, I add it as a card. That's what they call it in Trello. Add as a card to the 2026 in order list on my board. On my Trello board. Then I copy that card and I add it to the Favorites 2026 list and then I put it in the right place. Ordering books by favorite is something that I really like doing. It makes end of year lists so much easier to create because they're essentially done. And by doing it one at a time as I read. It's really not very overwhelming, right? Also, when I copy the card from the timeline list to the favorites list, I'm given the option on Trello to choose where that new card should go. Like, what number out of how many cards are there? Like, where should it go? And my favorite game is to guess what number I think this book will like where it will fall in my favorites and then copy the card to that spot and then just, like, see how close I am. I usually have to move the card only two or three spots either direction max on the favorites list. But it's like the greatest delight when I hit the bullseye and I'm like, yes. Like, I feel like I know my reading self really well when that happens. I'm like, you know, this feels like this is my 27th favorite book of the year. And then it is. It's so dumb, but it's so fun. Okay, so those are some of my favorite apps. And also, you got to hear Ben's idea for bee training. So that is today's a little extra something. Okay, this week's Lazy Genius of the Week is Amanda from New Jersey. Amanda writes, I have two unrelated struggle areas in my life, and I figured out a way to combine them and and solve both problems. Yes, I love this. I absolutely hate folding laundry. I often walk away in the middle of it or just avoid it for days or weeks until it's too big to handle. I also live far away from a lot of people I care about, and while I value talking to them on the phone often, I find it hard to remember to call or make time, amongst other things. I also tend to get sidetracked or distracted during calls because I find it hard to sit still so I'm not giving them my full attention. So I made a rule for myself. Whenever there's laundry to fold, I call a family member or friend. Usually my mom and I have to fold while we chat. This means that I'm automatically reminded at least once a week to call someone because that's when laundry is done. I finish folding everything in one sitting, and I'm able to give my loved ones my undivided attention because my hands and body are busy doing a thoughtless task. Wins all around. Well, no notes here. Great idea, great problem solving, great attitude about both struggles. I just love this, Amanda. I bet a lot of people will feel really encouraged by your solution and maybe have some creative juices flowing about what's going to work for them. So thank you so much for Sharing this tremendously genius idea. And congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week.
- [60:32]
Ben
Week.
- [60:33]
Annie
All right, let's close with a mini pep talk for when you make uncommon choices. Uncommon choices can be lonely. You know, you don't use a smartphone at all, or your kids don't have one yet and they're teenagers. You don't use social media. You live super simply and frugally now so that you can retire like 10 or 15 years earlier than other people. You only fly standby or you only fly first class. You're a Christian who doesn't go to church. You don't eat organic strawberries like you're apparently supposed to. You don't do cardio or you don't lift weights, or you don't read books or you don't watch tv. I have a friend who has never seen the Great British Baking show, and I'm almost offended by it. I know that's silly and like kind of a joke, but isn't that so often true? When someone chooses something that is in opposition to what we have thoughtfully chosen or what we enjoy, it can sometimes feel really personal, even a betrayal, depending on how close you are to that person. And if you are the person making the opposing choice, it can feel lonely. So the first thing I want to say is you're never alone as you think other people are making uncommon choices too, based on what matters to them. And everyone is allowed to do that. Now, certain choices definitely come with like social, relational, even cultural consequences. But like, in general, everyone is entitled to make whatever choice suits them best. You know, there are sometimes prices to pay, but you're allowed to choose what matters most to you and pay that price. But even when you hold fast to why you're choosing something unusual, it can still feel lonely. My boys have gone through hard periods over not having phones yet. And early on it was the hardest and they still don't. My boys are 14 and 16 and they still don't have phones. They have watches, but they don't have phones yet. But I will say when they connected with peers who also didn't have phones yet, it really made it so much easier. The same was true for me as a mom. I have some friends who are really invested in keeping phones out of their kids hands for as long as possible. And it makes that choice easier to bear because we're bearing it together, you know. So if you don't have anyone in your regular life who has made the same choice, maybe look for someone or even a friend online who can, you know, kind of be your support buddy so you don't feel so alone. You don't have to be anti the other thing. Or if you're on the other side of an uncommon choice, you don't have to see the other person as being anti the uncommon thing. Like you can. You can just be grounded in whatever you choose. You can be kind to others who feel differently and be kind to yourself as you navigate that potential loneliness and look for partners and companions along the way. Now, if loneliness makes you feel defensive and hardened, which is understandable, my encouragement to you is to let go of being perceived as right. You don't need to take the mantle of convincing other people about your choice unless you just really want to. But you don't have to explain yourself or defend your choice. You can simply say, you know, this is what works for me, or this is what works for my family. No worries if it doesn't work for yours and just move on. Ultimately, I think we want a world where people are making intentional, thoughtful choices that support what matters to them in those daily rhythmic choices, the ones where we go against the flow a little to support what matters to us. That's a good thing. It's good to live in a world where people challenge the norm, where people show another way, where someone you know makes a different choice than you about cell phones or whatever and you can still be friends, be kind in your loneliness and also turn it into an opportunity to ease the loneliness of someone else figuring out how to make your uncommon choice together. And that is a mini pep talk for when you make uncommon choices. If this episode was helpful to you, or if you've been looking for a way to support the show, please share Share this episode with someone you know or leave a kind review on Apple Podcasts. Every mention and share makes a difference in turning more people into lazy geniuses, so thank you so much for your support. This podcast is part of the Odyssey Family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. Head to thelazygeniuscollective.com listens to get it. Thanks y' all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week.
- [66:08]
Lloyd Lockridge
Hi, my name is Lloyd Lockridge and I'm the host of a new podcast from Odyssey called Family Lore. In this podcast, I'm going to have people on to tell unusual and sometimes far fetched stories about their families.
- [66:20]
Kendra Adachi
I've heard my whole life that she invented the margarita and then we're going
- [66:23]
Lloyd Lockridge
to investigate those stories and find out how much of it is true. He gets a patent one month before the Wright Brothers. Oh my God. Please follow and listen to Family Lore, an Odyssey podcast available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your shows.
- [66:38]
Kendra Adachi
This episode is sponsored by Ellon. You're probably not drinking enough water. I'm probably not either.
- [66:45]
Annie
We all mean to and then we don't.
- [66:47]
Kendra Adachi
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Annie
twists to tuck the straw away so
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Kendra Adachi
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Annie
And the pop and fill bottle has
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Kendra Adachi
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Annie
you can refill it without unscrewing the top.
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Kendra Adachi
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