← The Lazy Genius Podcast
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I'm Brian. I work at UnitedHealthcare. So Brian, why do you care? I care because I don't want to leave anybody behind. I oversee one of the biggest resource centers in UnitedHealthcare. I see people walking in my office every day just like my parents. They have no idea about the healthcare. I feel like they are my uncles, aunties. I treated people like family. I'm Brian and I'm committed to care. Hey there. You're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This podcast is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently on this show. We value contentment, compassion, and living. In our season, we we favor small steps over big systems. Here we are, lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I'm so glad you're here. Today is a bonus episode where we are resurrecting an old episode that feels like a good thing to listen to right now. That episode is 7 Ways to Rest and how to know which one you need. This is one of those episodes we didn't expect to become kind of a classic, but it has. This episode helps differentiate different kinds of restrictions and which one you might actually need. It's why when people, even people like me, tell you to take a nap, you know why it doesn't always help? Because it might be that you're looking for a different kind of rest than what napping offers. Earlier this week on Monday, we had a great episode full of ideas from all of you on simple and meaningful ways to rest. So listening to this rerun after hearing that episode, it could be such a great framework for naming the specific kinds of simple rest that you might need each day. So I hope you enjoy. Hey there, you are listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 258, the Seven Kinds of Rest and how to know which one you need. I'm so obsessed with this episode. Even though it has not even started yet, it's just so needed. Rest itself is such a needed thing for all of us. After all, a lazy genius principle is to schedule rest, mostly because we just kind of let it happen. We assume rest is gonna come, but then it never does. Right. But I also have been paying a lot of attention to the different kinds of rest and why certain kinds don't always land for us or why we take the time to rest, but then we still feel kind of unfulfilled after. I think a conversation around the nuance of rest is desperately needed, especially when a lot of us are working with less margin than we ever have before. So I'm so excited about this episode. We're gonna dive in. First, I'm gonna share the seven kinds of rest, and then I'm gonna share just a few words about how you might know what kind you need to pursue and schedule. Also, these seven kinds of rest are totally made up for my own head. Right. So this list is. It has nothing scientific about it. It. It's not researched. It is anecdotal. It's anecdotal. But I also think it's super helpful. So these seven kinds of rest are. Do you need to. Number one, relax. Two, reset. Three, recharge. Four, you need a break. Five, you need to rest before something busy. Six, rest during something busy. Or seven, after something busy. Now, there is a lot of nuance in these seven things. And the problem with scheduling rest broadly, without naming, the nuance of what you need is that you end your time of rest, whether it's an afternoon, an entire weekend, or just a walk around the block. You end that time unfulfilled, and you're still tired or drained or overwhelmed or whatever because you didn't fully engage in the detail of what kind of rest you need. Now, I do this all the time. And once I started noticing the differences, though, I was like, gosh, I just rested. Like, what's wrong? Why am I not rested? Once I started to notice those differences, it made a huge difference. Again, I'm sure that there are more kinds of rest that I'm sharing here. Like, these are just my own experiences. But I think even though these are anecdotal examples, they're still going to be helpful. So I want to break down the seven individually. First, relax. I think this is sort of this standard, like, most necessary kind of human rest we should all pursue for the rest of our lives. Like, we all need to relax. We all need to not be productive purely for productivity's sake. Right? We all need to just be a person enjoying life without feeling guilty about it. Now, the lovely thing about relaxation is that we all have different kinds of things that help us feel relaxed. It could be reading or doing some kind of quiet craft or activity. It could be moving your body with a hike or a walk or dancing or playing a sport with a friend. It could be hanging out in a friend's living room or at a cocktail lounge or at a park and just chatting with your pals, right? It could be doing yard work. It could be sitting on your porch watching a favorite show. Like, it could be cleaning your house. Now, that is not me. But I know a lot of you experience actual relaxation when you turn off your brain and you move your body and scrub something. Now, that one is like, productive technically. But the relaxation builds out the task getting done. You know, like it's, it's. It's more important or whatever. Now, whatever it is, we all need to be able to relax, to take a breath, to feel slower on the inside. This type is the first type I'm mentioning because, again, I think it's the baseline. This one never goes away. You know, like, relaxation will always be or should always be part of your life so that you can do the work that matters and you can, you know, fulfill your life's purpose in a way that is healthy and balanced and fulfilling. And I believe it's something that we should all do every day, that it is available to us. And if it's not available to us, often to relax, I would ask you to schedule it to work relaxation in some form for some period of time into your daily life. We all need to relax. It's like the. It's the mental experiential version of unbuttoning your pants or taking off your bra at the end of the day. So that's the first kind. The first kind of rest is relaxation. The second kind of rest is a reset. This requires, I think, a different kind of energy. If you need a reset, it likely means you've gotten off the path of where you'd like to be. Maybe you haven't relaxed in weeks and weeks, and therefore you have not connected with the joy and calm and fun of being yourself in this world. And you need a reset to get back to the foundation of who you are. Or it could be more like logistical or practical than that you've gotten off your rhythm or your routine in some area of your life. And because life doesn't stop, you haven't been able to take the time or find the margin to tend to this area that needs some tending. You need a specific amount of time to reset that thing. But ultimately a reset to get you back on the path that matters is what you're trying to do. If you're off that Path relaxation. It might not gonna. It might not do it for you because you're not able to fully sink into yourself and actually relax because you're somewhere else. You're off your path. I don't mess. And I don't mean like a purpose path, you know, like, I mean, it can be. It could be that, but I mostly just mean that you live your. Your life day to day, and then something gets off. It's kind of like how male and paper are magnets, that if you don't put Monday's mail in the mail basket or whatever, or you don't tend to something when you come home, even though that's a regular practice and you don't do it one time, and then every day after, you just keep adding to that pile of mail with more mail. It's like, it's a magnet. Mail is a magnet. Clutter is a magnet. Mental clutter is a magnet. And the pile becomes physically or metaphorically so high that it becomes disruptive that you need a reset. Does that make sense? So I think it's important to name when you need a reset versus when you need to relax. I think often it's hard to relax when something very prominent in our lives needs a reset, when it feels off. So if you are feeling that way, if you're feeling off, if you're feeling overwhelmed, and let's say you have like a Saturday afternoon all to yourself, you might think, I should take a nap or take a walk or do something relaxing. And that could very well be true. But is there something specific in your life that unless it gets attention and even the smallest reset, it will just continue to make you tired? Then perhaps the better use of your time on that afternoon is to tend to that thing that needs a reset. Only you can know that. But maybe that's more important in that moment. Maybe that's a different kind of rest you need. And it could be a closet. It could be your own soul. It could be that you need to spend your afternoon journaling or going to counseling and then talking to a friend after. Or you need to reset your homeschool room before the school year is over so that you're not drowning day to day and you can actually enjoy the end of school. You know what I'm saying? Does that make sense? So it's kind of like it could be really, really tangible. It could be really soulful and intangible. But the second kind of rest is a reset. Physical, mental, energetic. Just name where you feel off your intended path. What is a way that you can. We'll grab a. We'll grab a lazy genius principle. What's a way you can essentialize that area and get rid of what's in the way according to what matters to you. Right. If you are new to the idea of essentializing or any of the lazy genius principles, they're all in my book the Lazy genius way. There's, like, a chapter about each one, just so you know. Okay, so that's. The second kind of rest is a reset. The third kind of rest is to recharge. I think we need a recharge when we feel empty or behind. That is different than being off the path. Right? That's different than being off. Being empty or behind is different. A reset is when we feel off, and a recharge is when we feel behind or that we just don't have anything left. This is the type of rest that requires a lot of doing what makes you feel like yourself. And also maybe some sleep. I think a recharge needs sleep. I think a recharge also might need a longer Runway as well. You know, a whole day, a weekend away, like taking a day off of work and planning, like, takeout or spaghetti or delegating dinner. If you have a family that you live with, like, delegating that dinner for that day so that you really do have, like, a whole day off. Like, a recharge needs some space for a lot of deep breaths and for the widest experience of what makes you feel like you. For example, I took a. Like, a recharge trip recently. A couple weeks ago, I was feeling very behind and very empty. I was not off track. I didn't feel off track. I was just really tired, really draggy, and I needed some space to feel like myself, to move slowly through those things. To not have anyone need me. That's a big one, you know, to not have anyone else's expectations exist for like, 60 hours. And in those 60 hours here, all. I mean, I listened to music, I took naps, I took my time making food, I watched shows, I went to a concert, I stayed up late, and then I slept in because that's what my body wanted to do. And at the end of those couple of days, I didn't feel behind anymore. I didn't feel empty. I got to recharge. You know, it's like a battery sometimes. We got to plug it in for a little bit and do a few things that make us feel like ourselves. It's like relaxation, but for a long time. Maybe that's a good way of seeing it. Recharging is being able to relax for a while, like, for a long while, and knowing that that's what you need as opposed to a reset or one of the other kinds of rest we're going to talk about. It helps you know how to spend your time, and you feel like the time that you did spend that it made a difference, right? The fourth kind of rest, and possibly the most annoying because of, like, how short and bursty and emotionally tough it is, is when you need to take a break. And needing and taking a break as opposed to relaxing or taking a longer time to reset or recharge is mostly centered around those of you in a season of where that season makes it much more difficult to take longer time away, even mentally and emotionally. Like having tiny kids, having babies, for sure, caring for a parent or a family member whose health is struggling. For many people, you are mentally always connected to your season of life. You're directly connected to using your body to feed a baby. You're directly connected to your teenager who's going through chemo. You are directly connected to your mom who is in the early stages of Alzheimer's, and you're trying to figure out how to care for her. Like, there are seasons of life where long periods of rest just aren't an option. From, like, a logistical standpoint, if you have a newborn or your baby is still a baby, you are unlikely to even want to be away from your baby for longer than a day or two. Like, just emotionally, it's like, I love her, so I don't. I don't want to leave her, you know, like you do, but you don't. You know, it's like that push, pull. And then if you breastfeed, like, logistically, you're working out the timing of a break with, like, how long you can go without pumping. You know, if you have a child or a parent or a dear friend who is in treatment for something life threatening, you're not going to want to be away from that person for a very long time. Because what matters most is being there for them and with them. And also you need a break. If you are in a difficult season of life, your kind of rest for a certain period of time is to get a break, to catch your breath, to take a little bit of time away from the difficulty or the monotony or the sadness or the being consistently, even constantly needed. You just need a break. And if you name it as that, if you name it as taking a break, I think you're less grippy to make that time count. You're less resentful towards the person or the situation or the season of life that is making it difficult for you to recharge or relax. There's very little relaxing when you're in a season like that. But if you name it as a break, that little pocket of time, that hour, that walk around the block, that meal in the sunshine while someone else holds your baby, those breaks feel impactful because you're not forcing them to look like something else. Some seasons of life only give us breaks. Not a lot of like real deep relaxation or recharging. And that's okay. It's hard, but it's okay. And it won't always be this way. But since it's this way right now, live in your season with kindness and honesty and take a break. We'll be right back. A year from today, what would your dream private practice look like? Would you spend less time chasing claims or only working with clients who value your skill set? What if you had more time for yourself? Alma empowers you to confidently accept insurance backed by an all in one EHR that simplifies scheduling, documentation and day to day practice operations. Your dream practice is closer than you think. Learn more about alma@helloalma.com Get Started LifeLock how can I help? The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't. One in four tax paying Americans is paid, paid the price of identity fraud. What do I do? My refund though. I'm freaking out. Don't worry, I can fix this. LifeLock fixes identity theft guaranteed and gets your money back with up to $3 million in coverage. I'm so relieved. No problem. I'll be with you every step of the way. One in four was a fraud. Paying American. Not anymore. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast terms apply now. The final three kinds of rest are not based on your need or your season of life, but more on the timing of the rest. And those three that we'll talk about kind of together are rest before something big, during something big, or after something big. Now you get to decide what big is, by the way. But maybe you're a teacher, you know, maybe you're a teacher. A lot of you are teachers and it's spring break right now. You might flounder a little in that time or have in the past because you likely need a few kinds of rest. You need to recharge because you're super tired. You need to reset something because the life of being a teacher doesn't always leave much room for getting back on the path once you're off it. You need to relax. You know, maybe you just need to relax because you've been going and going and going. Like you want to have these moments of like, being chill when you're on your spring break. And perhaps spring break is a way for you to rest before the craziness that is May in school. So even looking at your week of spring break, hypothetically, maybe the first day is just about relaxing. Maybe if it's a whole day, it is kind of like a recharge. You know, you eat fun, easy food, you read, you take your kids to the park with some friends, you just have, you know, conversation, you be in the sunshine, whatever. You're just. You're just relaxing. Then maybe you take a day to reset. Like what's off, what needs attention, what if tended to, would help make the rest of spring break and even the rest of the school year feel a little better, a little smoother, you know, take some time to do that kind of rest on purpose, then recharge. Maybe you go on a solo overnight trip to just be able to sleep in. Or you even send your family to grandma's or camping or to Great Wolf Lodge or something for a night or two so you can sleep in your own house without anyone else there. And as you get to the end of your spring break, put on your metaphorical hat of I am resting to prepare for what's coming. And not in a like chicken little sky is falling kind of way. It's not panicking, you know, you're just naming that you're about to enter another, like quick hit busy season. So rest before that. Prepare yourself on the inside and the outside if you need to, for that in a way that matters to you. There's also rest in the middle of a busy something. We just passed April 15, aka tax day, which I'm actually, as I'm thinking about it, I'm pretty sure it was extended to today because April 15th was Good Friday. So congratulations, we are still in tax season. But if you are an accountant, you have been busy for months, especially the last three or four. Rather than waiting to rest until tax season is over next year, plan some rest in the middle. Plan an easy weekend or go ahead and know you're going to take a day or even half a day on the occasional Friday, or maybe even on a Friday before, like if there's a Monday when the office is closed or something, you know, you can take that Friday off and plan some Rest in the middle during. Right. It's kind of like getting a break, but a break that can be longer because no one is depending on you the way a baby or a sick family member might be, and you don't have an emotional connection or obligation to the thing you're leaving. Like you can leave the taxes for a day in early March. You know, it's not like you're longing to be with them again. So rest during a busy season, and that is almost like an extended break. You're not resetting, you could be recharging. You're likely relaxing a little. But the point is where and when you're doing it, you're doing it in the middle of a busy season, like a break. Because you will likely not be as okay at the end of that busy season if you don't take some kind of decent break in the middle. You know, I'm going to keep sticking with the accountants right now. I even think that it could be like a decide once for you. Decide once is another of the 13 lazy genius principles. You decide that during March and April, within your power, you have one day or at least half a day in your weekend where you can just relax. That is a decision you make. End of story. Now, a lot of you have kids with like soccer games and you have church and chores and all the things, but in March and April, maybe you can be lazy about whatever you can for that season so that you can have a break during a busy time. You can have some rest in the middle. You just block off Saturdays from 4 o' clock on as you're like, we're not doing anything stressful time. You eat out or you eat easy. You watch a movie as a family, or if your family's like mine and doesn't watch movies, you let your kids watch their own screens or do their own thing while you have your own movie night or something. I don't know. You can make choices that are different than what you would normally make in a busy season. And you should. I don't throw that word around very often, but right now I will. You should adjust as much as you can and be as lazy as you're comfortable being in the middle of a busy season so that you can feel like a person. You're not going to ruin your kids or yourself by eating takeout seven Saturdays in a row. You're not gonna. It's a season and you're teaching yourself and your family how to deal with stressful times, how to manage busyness, how to experience the permission to let some things go. It is a valuable life skill you can model. Honestly, that's not like a cop out to make you feel better for choosing chicken nuggets or like a food truck at the park or something where you just like let your people run wild. Like, it's helpful. It's important. It is a valuable choice to be lazy about certain things in a busy season. It just is. And then finally, rest after, after a busy season or a big project or, you know, fill in your own blank with whatever, but rest after. To me, this is like recharging, but with a celebratory bent. Like, you did it, you made it. You finished that huge report. You closed your classroom. You made it through that season of travel. You presented at that conference. Your kid is going to preschool and you have time now. Your daughter made it through chemo and has a clean bill of health like you made it. You need to mark those moments and seasons and rest after those moments and seasons with intention. I think about. I think about Knox McCoy and his family. Knox is one of the co hosts of my favorite podcast, the Popcast, with Knox and Jamie and Knox's family, they like literally load up their vehicle, like with their vacation stuff and their kids on the last day of school. They pick up their kids from school, like at the actual school, and drive from school to the beach, like, immediately. I don't know if they do that, like all the time, but I know they have done it multiple times before. That is like a big old we did it. We are resting after, right? We are selling, celebrating, getting through school or that season or whatever. And that energy is different than daily relaxation, than recharging, than resetting, than getting a break, or than resting before or during something, right? Is this all making sense? Like, these are all very different kinds of rest. They require different energies, they give us different gifts, they take different amounts of time, they have different purposes. I wish I had thought through this and experienced this kind of nuance when I wrote the lazy genius way, because I would have included all this in that chapter on the principle to schedule rest. But that's life, man. We learn. We iterate, right? We learned that last week in the episode about work, life, balance, and then a little bit more two weeks before that in the episode about naming what matters. The power of iteration, of starting small and making small changes over time. A significant through line in living like a lazy genius is to pay attention and iterate in small ways. When you notice something, you don't figure it out all at once. I didn't figure out all of how to rest all at once. And I still wrote a chapter about it. You know what I'm saying? Like, we live, we experience things, we fail, we try, we celebrate. We have changing hormones and new babies and transitioning jobs and kids moving out and parents moving in and all kinds of things. Life is so dynamic and we all live well in that dynamism, which I'm pretty sure is a word when we start small, when we adjust small, when we change our minds without guilt, and when we see that big ideas like rest are more nuanced than we realized. So I want you to think about what kind of rest you might need right now and then embrace it. Make it happen. If there's a kind of rest you know you will need later, go ahead and start taking steps to schedule it. Even if it's just like putting a block on your calendar, like weeks or months from now where you intend to recharge or celebrate the end, or give yourself space to rest in the middle or whatever it is. Like, go do that now. You don't have to book the Airbnb today, but you can think about what you might need in the future. Just like put a flag there. No big deal. Start small. I really hope this episode is helpful in how you see and experience the specific rest that you need in the specific time of life that you're in. And I'm really excited for you about this. Like, I feel like this is a really freeing, a really freeing idea. Okay, future Kendra is here again. So many smart people have been saying versions of this for years and years. Like, this is not the first time that you've heard what I'm about to say. But rest is not something you earn, right? It's not something you earn. It's not the other side of the productivity scale, like only allowed if you got a certain amount of things done. That is how productivity culture works, but it's not how you have to work. You can choose to be done for today and rest. You can take breaks and take your time and be still. And it seems counterintuitive, but when you schedule rest into your life, whichever kind you need, it makes the scheduled work happen more easily. So I hope this was helpful. The seven ways to rest and how to know which one you might actually need if this episode was helpful to you, or if you've been looking for a to way support the show. You can share this episode even though it's a rerun with someone who might not have listened before. Or you can leave a review on Apple podcasts. All of those things. They're so small, but they make such a big difference and we're grateful. Thank you. This podcast is part of the Odyssey Family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weeks weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. You can head to the lazygeniuscollective.com listens to get it. Thanks y' all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra and I'll see you back here on Monday. Sa.