Welcome to The Moth: A Family Circus

Summary

The Lazy Genius Podcast: "Welcome to The Moth: A Family Circus" – Detailed Summary

Introduction

In the June 12, 2025 episode of The Lazy Genius Podcast, host Kendra Adachi seamlessly integrates storytelling from The Moth to explore the chaotic yet beautiful journey of parenthood. Titled "Welcome to The Moth: A Family Circus," this episode delves into personal narratives that highlight the humorous, overwhelming, and heartwarming aspects of raising children. By featuring stories from Mary Lee Carroll and P.T. Smith, Kendra provides listeners with relatable insights and poignant reflections on family life.

Mary Lee Carroll’s Story: “Live at the Mall” [05:20]

Mary Lee Carroll opens the episode by sharing her experiences from an LA Story Slam themed "Juggle." Her narrative paints a vivid picture of her upbringing in a large family, highlighting the camaraderie and chaos that comes with having numerous siblings.

• Large Family Dynamics: Mary recounts growing up with nine brothers and sisters, emphasizing her mother’s unique friendship criteria: “she would not make friends with any other lady unless she had at least seven kids” ([05:20]). This led to a tight-knit group known as the "can cutters," who bonded over shared responsibilities and creative endeavors, such as making intricate crafts for school events.

• Overwhelmed by Motherhood: Transitioning into her own motherhood journey, Mary describes feeling “overwhelmed and so out of my depth and so disorganized” while raising her two young children after leaving the workforce ([05:20]).

• Seeking Wisdom: In her quest for support, Mary seeks advice from Dorothy, one of her mother’s long-time friends. During their conversation, Dorothy offers unexpected wisdom: “get some friends and get some gin” ([09:30]). This simple yet profound advice underscores the importance of finding personal moments of relief amidst the chaos of parenting.

• Reflection and Growth: Mary’s story concludes with a reflection on how quickly her children grow and the transformative impact of embracing the unpredictable nature of family life. She humorously notes, “suddenly, like, they were in school, and then suddenly they all had their driver's licenses” ([11:48]), highlighting the swift passage of time in parenthood.

Key Quote:

“I need somebody to tell me how to do this better.” – Mary Lee Carroll ([08:15])

Insights from Mary’s Story: Mary's narrative underscores the significance of community and shared experiences in navigating the challenges of parenting. Her interaction with Dorothy emphasizes the value of simplicity and self-care, even in small gestures, as essential tools for maintaining sanity and joy in family life.

---

P.T. Smith’s Story: “Live at the Mosque” [12:54]

P.T. Smith brings a contrasting yet complementary perspective to the episode with his story titled "Blessings in Disguise," performed at a Denver Story Slam held at a mosque. His heartfelt account delves into his fears and revelations about fatherhood within the context of his vibrant community.

• Growing Up in Five Points: P.T. begins by reminiscing about his childhood in Denver’s Five Points, a neighborhood often stereotyped but one he cherished for its rules and sense of safety ([12:54]).

• Fear of Fatherhood: Despite his strong community ties, P.T. reveals a deep-seated fear of stepping into the role of fatherhood, primarily due to an uncertain relationship with his own father. He shares, “fatherhood doesn’t need to come with rules. It actually only needs to come with one thing, and that's love” ([19:00]).

• Seeking Guidance: P.T. details his efforts to understand fatherhood, from seeking advice at local barbershops to reading parenting books. He humorously critiques the unhelpful advice he receives, such as, “don’t let your son get both ears pierced” and “if you have a girl, you should invest in a lot of guns” ([13:50]).

• A Life-Changing Moment: The pivotal moment in P.T.’s story occurs in the hospital during his son’s birth. Faced with the fear of his child not breathing well, he experiences a profound moment of vulnerability and love: “fatherhood doesn’t need to come with rules. It actually only needs to come with one thing, and that's love” ([19:00]).

Key Quote:

“Fatherhood doesn’t need to come with rules. It actually only needs to come with one thing, and that's love.” – P.T. Smith ([19:00])

Insights from P.T.’s Story: P.T.’s journey highlights the emotional complexities of becoming a parent, especially when confronting personal fears and societal expectations. His realization that love is the cornerstone of fatherhood offers a universal truth that resonates deeply with listeners, emphasizing that the essence of parenting transcends rigid guidelines and stems from genuine affection and commitment.

Comparative Analysis

Both Mary Lee Carroll and P.T. Smith explore the multifaceted nature of parenting, albeit from different angles. Mary's focus is on the external chaos and the need for community support, while P.T. delves into the internal emotional landscape of becoming a father. Together, their stories present a comprehensive view of the joys and struggles inherent in raising children, reinforcing the podcast's theme of being "smart about what matters and lazy about what doesn't."

Conclusion

In "Welcome to The Moth: A Family Circus," Kendra Adachi masterfully curates stories that illuminate the unpredictable and often humorous world of parenting. Through Mary Lee Carroll’s reflections on large family dynamics and P.T. Smith’s intimate moments of fear and love, listeners gain a deeper appreciation for the resilience and adaptability required in raising children. This episode serves as a heartfelt reminder that amidst the chaos, finding support, embracing love, and allowing oneself moments of relief are essential components of the parenting journey.

Notable Moments and Quotes

• Mary Lee Carroll on Overwhelm: “I was so overwhelmed and so out of my depth and so disorganized” ([05:20]).

• Dorothy’s Advice: “get some friends and get some gin” ([09:30]).

• P.T. Smith on Parenthood Rules: “Fatherhood doesn’t need to come with rules. It actually only needs to come with one thing, and that's love” ([19:00]).

Final Thoughts

This episode of The Lazy Genius Podcast not only entertains with engaging storytelling but also provides valuable insights into the realities of parenting. By presenting authentic and relatable experiences, Kendra encourages listeners to navigate their own family lives with a balance of intentionality and ease, staying focused on what truly matters while allowing the rest to unfold naturally.

Transcript

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This episode is sponsored by IXL Learning. Helping your kids succeed in school really matters, but knowing how to help can be tough. One day you're explaining long division, the next you're trying to remember how a food web works. That's where Iexcel comes in. Iexcel is an online learning program for Pre K through 12th grade that covers math, language arts, science and social studies. It adapts to your child's level, gives real time feedback and helps them really understand the material, not just push through it. And for you, one subscription covers all your kids across all subjects. No need to juggle multiple apps or find a tutor. And Iexcel is backed by research and used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and the Lazy Genius listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixcellearning.com lazygenius visit ixcelearning.com lazygenius to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Hello Lazy Genius listeners. I have got something a little different in the feed for you today that I'm so excited to share and that is the Moth podcast. You might be familiar with the Moth. It has been around forever. It is a critically acclaimed series where Regular people are suddenly storytellers, standing alone on a stage under a spotlight with only a microphone and a room full of strangers to hear what they have to say. Every week, the Moth presents stories that are funny, strange, heartbreaking, and above all, true. I want to share an episode with you today titled A Fake Family Circus. You'll hear two heartwarming, hilarious, and very relatable stories all about the hectic, maddening, hair pulling side of raising kids. I laughed. I felt very seen hearing fellow mothers talk about the chaos of motherhood in this unique setting. And I really think you're going to enjoy it. And for more stories from the Moth, follow the Moth Podcast. Anywhere you get your podcasts, take a listen.

[Kate Tellers]

You want to hear something fun? Yeah.

[Mark Salinger]

Do you want to hear something fun?

[Kate Tellers]

Yeah. So when I'm testing the equipment, the.

[Mary Lee Carroll]

Question I ask every single time is, what did you have for breakfast?

[P.T. Smith]

So what did you have for breakfast?

[Mark Salinger]

Muffins.

[Mary Lee Carroll]

Oh, muffins.

[Kate Tellers]

What flavor were they?

[Mark Salinger]

I don't.

[P.T. Smith]

Banana chocolate chip.

[Mark Salinger]

Banana chocolate chip.

[Mary Lee Carroll]

That sounds really, really good. I wish I had banana chocolate chip muffins.

[P.T. Smith]

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Kate Tellers, your host for this episode. A little bit ago, we had a Take your child to work day here at the Moth. There were about seven children in total, including my two little ones, and I had a lot of fun planning. I even made tiny lanyards for them. They sat in on a casting meeting, got pizza, and the kids learned a little bit about the intricacies of podcast making.

[Mary Lee Carroll]

I learned.

[Mark Salinger]

About podcasts and. And that the thingy, the circle thingy, is there so that the P words like Peter don't sound weird.

[P.T. Smith]

Overall, it included lots of the delightful mayhem that is parenting. As I said during Take youe Child to Work Day, just for anyone that's contemplating being a parent. Sorry, Anna. Just noticed that I sort of took the lead on every part of today except for the podcasting part. And that's all that anyone remember. Sometimes the role of being a parent is less visible. Kudos to Mark, our podcast producer on an amazing workshop. What a truly fun day. So on this episode we've got two stories about the somewhat overwhelming side of being a parent. The Family Circus, if you will. First up, we have Mary Lee Carroll. She told this at an LA Story slam where the theme of the night was Juggle. Here's Mary live at the mall.

[Mary Lee Carroll]

I have nine brothers and sisters, and when I was really little, my mother would not make friends with any other lady unless she had at least seven kids. Because she didn't want to know anybody who had free time. So that's how come her circle of girlfriends. And There were only six of them, but between them they had 50 kids. So these ladies love to have lunch together on Friday afternoons. And I would love it when they would meet at our house because I would kind of watch from the other room. And they would laugh and drink sherry and smoke their cigarettes and eat delicious food, and they would make all these ridiculous crafts for the Christmas bazaar at school, like spray painted macaroni for ornaments. And they would really make years and years worth of wreaths out of twisted tin can lids. And they made so many of these wreaths that they called themselves the can cutters. And the can cutters met for years and years. And I, in my innocence, thought, it must be really fun to be the mother to a lot of children. So 25 years later, I leave the work field and I am at home with two small children, like a baby and a toddler. And I am so overwhelmed and so out of my depth and so disorganized that I thought, how did they do it? And I was doing all kinds of ridiculous things. Like if I drove the car home, by the time I unloaded the car and unloaded the babies, I'd be too exhausted to go back out and close the doors to the cars. And the car would just sit there with the doors open all day long. Or I'd have to move the dirty dishes out of the way for a place to eat tonight's dinner. Or one time I even drove home from the supermarket with a whole bag of groceries on the roof of my car because I had been too stressed out trying to get the babies into the car after one of them had a giant tantrum in the store. So loud, kicking, screaming, and I'm sweating and embarrassed, and all these old ladies gathered around me to watch me deal with this and say things like, children are such a blessing, and an obstinate child is a sign of intelligence. And, you know, they grow up so fast. Don't blink, you'll miss something. And it's like, oh, come on. All I could see was 18 more years of this. And so I knew I needed help, and I knew I needed some wisdom. Like, how did my mom and all of her can cutter friends do it? The way they would laugh. They would shriek with laughter like, you're killing me. And I think, where are you? I thought, how did they do it? And I thought, well, of course all the can cutters were dead. And now I know why. They all went to early graves, but. But one of them. One of them was still alive. Her name was Dorothy. And I thought, I just need some advice. I need somebody to tell me how to do this better. And so Dorothy had had nine children. She's really old now. And I called her and I said, can I come talk to you? And she said, of course, dear. Come over. And I thought. I was so excited to talk to Dorothy. I thought, she is going to give me the secret to how to get on top of my situation here. And so she welcomed me in. We settled ourselves with a cup of tea. And I was very excited because I was at the foot of a master. Since she wasn't my own mother, but she was a master. I said, dorothy, how did you guys all cope with so many children? And she said, well, you know, we had each other. And I said, oh, no, I know, I know you had each other. And she says, no, that's more than it seems. And I said, I. I know, but you didn't have disposable diapers. You didn't have housekeepers, you didn't have preschools. And I said, how did you actually get it? She says, well, we had each other. And I said, dorothy, I need more than that. And she looked far off, like her eyes went back over the years. And then I thought, okay. And then she leaned in next to me. I thought, okay, here it comes. Good. Okay, good. So. So I leaned in, too. And then she took her old no nonsense finger and she pointed it at me like this. She says, that five o' clock cocktail. If I couldn't get my five o' clock cocktail, it was like one of those kids was gonna die. Dorothy, no. It's gotta be something besides that. And she says, no. And so, going home. Going home. I thought, oh, my God, there is no secret here. There's just me and 20 years of chaos. What am I going to do? And then the best advice from the wisest old woman I know was like, get some friends and get some gin. And so. And so. But I will tell you, what actually happened to me was that. I don't know, I must have blinked because suddenly, like, they were in school, and then suddenly they all had their driver's licenses. And then suddenly, one lives in San Francisco, one lives in New York, and one has babies of her own. So that.

[P.T. Smith]

That was Mary Lee Carroll. Mary is a grandmother, a writer and a storyteller. She calls herself a world traveler, but has never lived further than a mile from where she was born. Her latest book, across the street around the corner just came out and she is an award winning author of two previous books. I want to take a minute to shout out to the vital parenting tool that is the text thread. Since having children, I've become a part of several my friends who I knew before they were parents, my friends that I made because we are parents, my sister who I text about literally anything. This is the place where we can ask the important questions. These are real, like help, I locked my children in the bathroom. Who is hosting Thanksgiving? But what are we going to do about the patriarchy and help? The school just called to tell me my child stuck a pencil in her butt. And so on. Up next is PT Smith. He told this at a Denver Story slam where the theme of the night was blessings in disguise. Here's PT live at the mosque.

[Kate Tellers]

I was born at St. Joseph Hospital, Denver, Colorado, the East side. I was raised in Five Points and I love my neighborhood. See, in the 90s, it was kind of crazy. The news and different people made it seem like it was a dangerous and harsh place to live. And don't get me wrong, there were extracurricular activities. But it was home for me and I felt safe. I felt known. See, the reality is, in my hood, I knew the rules. And every hood comes with rules. Like for instance, mind your business. If you hear a noise in a dark alley that is between that noise and that dark alley. Another rule that maybe you're not familiar with is you should be aware of what colors you're wearing and where you're at. Now, you may need a hood specialist help on this one, so you should maybe acquire one to help you out with, like your color palettes. Okay? Know that black is always a good choice. My favorite rule, super random, super specific, is if someone comes up to you and says, hey, that's a nice pair of shoes. What size are they? The only acceptable response is yo size, homie, I'm just playing. Don't do that. You see, in a hood, if you know the rules in general, you're going to be okay. And so I wasn't fearful of any hoods. Well, except for one. See, there's only one hood. That struck fear in my heart, made me feel despair, made me feel sadness, inadequacy. And that hood was fatherhood. See, yeah, I grew up knowing my dad, but not always being raised by my dad. And so I was super uncertain and insecure when it came to this idea of fatherhood. And most of the kids in my community experience, or at least a lot experience the same Thing. And so when my wife told me she was pregnant with our first child, at first I had the same, like, emotions that any new parent is gonna have. Like, I was excited, man. I was, like, feeling the good nervousness. I'm thinking, I'm raised the hell out of this child, okay? You know what I'm saying? But shortly after that, those feelings started to fade, and other ones came in of, what do you think you're about to do? This idea, this reoccurring dream, and thought that you're gonna fail this child because you don't know what to do. So I decided to do some research to figure this thing out. And I started with the local community, right? So at the barbershop, I was asking some folks that I knew had kids. I'm like, hey, man, what's the rules? Tell me about this whole fatherhood thing. And I got some of the stupidest answers I've ever heard. Okay. All right, you ready? Here's the two. All right? One was, don't let your son get both ears pierced. I was like. Another one was, if you have a girl, you should invest in a lot of guns. And I was like, these are not helpful. So I was like, I'm gonna go to the experts, right? I'm read some books on parenthood. I'm read some books. And so the first book I tried to read was Gentle Parenting for Dads. And I'm not hating on gentle parenting, but I was not parented gently, so it really didn't match up. So I was like, all right, look, I'm running out of options. This kid is gonna be here real soon. What am I gonna do? And I can remember the day that we went to the hospital with my wife. She was going into labor, and I thought, hey, labor could take a while. And so maybe they have, like, a class here that they give to dads, because they're not gonna just give you a kid, right? Turns out, if they did, I would have missed it anyway because my wife's labor was actually really quick. Actually so quick that when the doctor got in the room, he had time to take off his coat, wash his hands, scrubs, gloves. And then he, like, one hand caught my son as he was being born, which made. I'm like, man, you should. You might play on Sundays. And it was really amazing. It all happened really fast. And then, like, time kind of slowed. And I see he's, like, making this, like, twisted face as he's looking at my son, and he looks at the nurse, and he's like, you need to get this kid to icu. He's not breathing well. And y' all time stopped. And my heart froze because I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a dad because I didn't know if I could do it. I didn't know the rules. Even being in that room, I felt nervous. I didn't know what was going on. And so they swaddle my son, and they put him in this, like, little glass case on wheels, and they roll them out. And I look at my wife, and she looks at me like, go after them. And so I'm running behind the nurse, y' all, and I'm praying. I'm praying as hard as I've ever prayed in my entire life. I'm like, lord, I will do anything. If this kid needs my heart, he can have my heart. If he needs my eyes, he can take my eyes. I will do anything. Just let him be okay. And we get into the ICU room, and it turns out that my son just has a flare for the dramatics because he was breathing fine. And so they swaddle him back up again, and they let me hold him for the first time. And I'm looking in his eyes, and I realize that fatherhood doesn't need to come with rules. It actually only needs to come with one thing, and that's love. Thank you.

[P.T. Smith]

That was P.T. smith. P.T. is a proud product of the hood he grew up in and now serves the youth and young adults in his community. He is most proud of being able to have an amazing marriage for the last nine years and being the father of Pierre, 7, and Ms. Parker, 3. Before I leave, you remember how the kids at the mosque take your child to work day. Were learning about podcasts. Well, stick around for the credits. You might hear some fun new voices reading them. That's it for this episode. From all of us here at the Moth, however you parent or do not parent, we hope that you can find beauty in life's circus.

[Mark Salinger]

Kate Tellers is a storyteller, host, senior director at the Moth, and co author of their fourth book, how to Tell Her Story. Her author writing has been featured on McSqueenies and the New Yorker. She is also our mom. This episode of the Moth podcast was produced by Sarah Austin. Janess. Sarah Jane Johnson. That's my mom. And Mark Salinger. The rest of the Moth's leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Marina Cluce, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant Walker, Lee Ann Gulley, and Aldi Caza Samoth. Would like to thank its supporters and listeners. Stories like these are made, possibly by community giving. If you're not already a member, Please consider becoming one or making a one time donation today at the Moth.org Give Back. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast and information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website themoth.org.

[P.T. Smith]

This.

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