Podcast Summary

Podcast: The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy
Episode: 100: Get Your Mind Right: 6 Things to Think About Headed Into Session
Date: October 23, 2024
Hosts: Dr. James Hawkins (B), Dr. Ryan Rayna (A)

Episode Overview

This milestone 100th episode of The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy launches a new series, "Get Your Mind Right," designed to help therapists prepare mentally and emotionally before entering challenging sessions. Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rayna reflect on the significance of their journey, honor mentors and the late Dr. Sue Johnson, and share six essential mindsets for therapists to keep at the forefront when working with couples in relational or emotional distress. Through heartfelt anecdotes and practical insights, they invite listeners into their ongoing process of learning, growing, and serving the EFT community.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening Reflections and Dedications

• Both hosts express gratitude for reaching 100 episodes, reflecting on the podcast’s origin as a response to national distress and injustice, and how it evolved into a resource for therapists and clients (00:00–03:22).
• Dedications are given to:
  • Dr. Sue Johnson and her family for founding EFT and empowering therapists globally (03:28–06:26).
  • Listeners, emphasizing the honor and mutual journey of growth and facing hard things (04:11–05:40).
  • Mentors of all kinds whose voices influence their clinical work and the podcast (05:41–07:05).
  • Nicola (intro/outro voice & behind-the-scenes contributor) and both hosts’ families (06:28–07:15).

Notable Quote:

"Her impact on the world, on psychotherapy, and on us... She empowered so many people, certainly including you and I, to have opportunities. If it wasn't for her, you all would have never had this podcast or know who we are."
— Dr. Ryan Rayna, regarding Sue Johnson (06:04)

Main Content: 6 Mindsets to Get Your Mind Right Before Session

1. Self of the Therapist (James, 09:55–10:16)

• The inner state and self-awareness of the therapist is fundamental.
• Therapists should check in with their own courage, blocks, and resources before focusing on client interventions.

Notable Quote:

"My biggest predictor, my biggest way of measuring success is how was I doing as the professional?... Was I locked in? Was I focused, was I attuned to. Could I pivot when I needed to pivot? And if I can do those things... then I'm doing a good job." (02:29) — Dr. James Hawkins

2. Trust the Map (Ryan, 10:21–12:21)

• Regardless of the case complexity, rely on the EFT attachment framework.
• Avoid overassessment and trust that the fundamental human longings and needs are present.

Notable Quote:

"You can trust it... If I can prioritize that live emotion, the longings are down there, the needs are there. If you have pain, you have needs." (11:31) — Dr. Ryan Rayna

3. Focus (James, 12:21–13:31)

• Carry intentional focus from the previous session into the current one: Where were we last time? Where do we need to go today?
• Have a plan, but stay ready to pivot based on what arises.

4. Two Paths: Simplify and Don’t Overthink (Ryan, 13:31–14:35)

• In EFT sessions, therapists are either helping clients manage reactivity/mistrust or crafting corrective experiences.
• Keep the approach simple: Recognize which path is needed and proceed accordingly.

Notable Quote:

"We're only doing one of two things all the time. We're either responding to mistrust and escalation... or we're going deeper for corrective experiences. Don't overthink it." (13:42) — Dr. Ryan Rayna

5. Block Readiness (James, 24:59–26:19)

• Expect and prepare for blocks. Know your clients’ typical blocking patterns and get out in front of them in-session.
• Courageously call out recurring places of stuckness at the start, so you can collaborate on handling them differently.

Notable Quote:

"Sometimes your job is to get ahead of the cycle... I just had to be courageous and call that out at the beginning of session versus, like, I hope this doesn't happen. Let’s see if we can avoid it. Yeah, I tried that for a lot of my career." (25:29) — Dr. James Hawkins

6. Use More of You: Be Fully Present and Human (Ryan, 26:24–27:34)

• When space opens, bring your full humanity forward.
• The therapist’s genuine emotional engagement can be the turning point in session — it signals safety and connection.

Notable Quote:

"That’s the moment right when they see that tear in your eye, when they see a real look of grief. And that’s when they step into their real experience, which then opens the doors for all kinds of connection to happen with self. Bring more of you." (27:20) — Dr. Ryan Rayna

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Listener Dedication:

  "It’s an honor to join you in the journey and for you to be on my journey, too... Change is hard, especially when you got somebody who’s sitting across from you who’s stuck or unhappy." (05:00) — Dr. Ryan Rayna

• Mentor Influence:

  "It’s almost always from a mentor... those voices are coming through." (05:42–06:04) — Dr. Ryan Rayna

• Nickola’s Impact:

  "Nicola definitely behind the scenes... she listens and she studies and... helps keep me into, like, if something doesn’t make sense, she’ll be like, so what did you mean?" (06:28) — Dr. James Hawkins

• Therapist Humanity:

  "We want all of you, you know, and so when you get that space open, bring all of you forward." (26:24) — Dr. Ryan Rayna

Segment Timestamps

• Opening & Origins: 00:00–03:22
• Dedications & Honoring Mentors: 03:23–07:32
• Main Content Introduction: 07:33–09:51
• Six Mindsets Discussion: 09:51–27:34
• Top 10 Episodes (Mini-Interlude): 15:20–21:52
• Deep Dives, Stories, and Practical Tips: Throughout the main content (esp. 22:08 onward)
• Wrap-up and Series Preview: 28:45–29:13

Podcast’s Signature Tone

This episode maintains a warm, reflective, and encouraging tone. Both hosts blend practical expertise with vulnerability and humor (occasional tangents, personal anecdotes, playful banter). They frequently reference the greater EFT community and their gratitude for both its founders and listeners.

Takeaways for Therapists

• Prepare inwardly before every session — your internal state shapes what happens in the room.
• Trust the EFT attachment map, and don’t get stuck overanalyzing complexities.
• Keep your session focus clear, but adapt in the moment.
• Simplify decision points to two major paths: handle escalation or facilitate correction.
• Anticipate and address typical places where clients (and therapists) get stuck.
• Let your authentic, emotional self lead; your humanity is as therapeutic as your interventions.

For those seeking more depth, this episode serves as a launching pad — the hosts promise to build out each of these six mindsets in future episodes of the "Get Your Mind Right" series, making this a great entry point or refresher for EFT practitioners.