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A
It's the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast. Yeah. Oh, we got so much to talk about. Everybody start recording. Let's just start.
B
Wait, you guys, before we start, this is no shade to our lovely, amazing composer. But I did make a new theme song that I want to play you guys right now.
C
Oh, let's peep that out.
A
Yeah, let's hear it. We'd love to hear it.
B
Get ready to have your mind blown get ready for the sadness I am only horn in the Bad Guys show.
C
Yeah.
B
That was it.
A
I mean, I really like it.
C
I wanted the crashing to go for two full nights.
B
Yeah, I blew it on that.
D
Is that a combination of explosions and like, just like twisting metal sounds?
B
It's very classic. Lonely Island Cube.
D
Yes.
A
It was everything I wanted it to be. I mean, classic. This is.
B
This has nothing to do with what I just played, you guys. But I did want to tell you guys that our regular mail is just being sent to me now. And I was just given this that came for all of us. This giant pack of Red Bull.
D
Tall cans of Red Bull, just in case we felt like just getting crazy.
C
Yeah.
B
But that in no way influenced what just happened.
C
Tall can of Red Bull.
A
Yeah. So chicka chicka. All right, here's the thing. Yoram's drinking a tall can of Red Bull. This is weird because we've had three episodes of the podcast without the four of us being together. Yeah, you guys. Then we snuck in, basically a repeat. Then I did an episode with Quest and Lyn. We're going to get to all of that, but it's very nice to see you guys again. And we just have a little bit of housekeeping, a little bit of catching up to do.
D
Yeah, yeah.
C
The holidays and Seth, how are you? Are you feeling sleepy? Are you feeling, like, amped? You feeling drunk?
A
I'm a little. So actually. A little. It's great. I'm a little sleepy because I flew out to LA because my brother turned 50 and so I got on a 10pm flight from New York, landed at two in the morning, went to a hotel, slept, went on a long hike with Josh. Then we went to lunch. I accidentally had one and a half cocktails. So that was a huge mistake.
B
Yeah, accidents can happen.
A
Then took a 10 minute nap. And then Josh shook me awake because it was time for this.
D
So great.
A
And maybe fighting a little bit of a cold and also getting on a red eye tonight.
C
That's so lit you sound.
B
Are you going to drink? Are you going to drink on the red eye to put Yourself to sleep or.
A
No, I don't think I'll have any trouble falling asleep. I don't think I'm going to have to grease those rails.
D
You've always been a good airplane sleeper, Seth.
A
I have. I can crush the airplane.
C
Yep.
A
I slept takeoff to landing last night. But first of all, I want to start by saying congratulations, Akiva, on your critics choice win.
D
Oh, thank you so much.
A
Naked Gun CC8.
B
Our man.
C
Best comedy. Eat shit, Tim Robinson.
D
It was a thrill.
A
It was amazing. Also, we should post it in the chat. You crushed a righteous kill on the carpet.
C
Oh, yeah. You did drop a righteous kill.
B
I certainly did.
D
Yeah, I did drop one in there. Very happy to do it. You know, I wasn't doing interviews, so I was just walking down the carpet, like, past where everyone's doing interviews, but there was, like, two different, clearly interviewers who. If they said Kuid, army, or Akiva, then I was like, okay, I'll go to them because they're nice.
B
And so I have it locked and loaded. It's hard to do sometimes.
D
Exactly. But when you're on that and you're in that environment, I feel like you're so on that. You're gonna. You're gonna hit it.
A
But it wasn't like they didn't open with Quader. I mean, they did, like, a proper interview with you and then dropped it at the end, and you dropped right on top of it.
D
Well, thank you.
C
Just like Fight Club.
B
People are sneaky with it. People are sneaky. I got one at Shake Shack today, and I was. I was late with the righteous kill.
A
Oh, you were a little old.
C
Oh, that's probably good for your recovery. Shake Shack. Good call.
D
Shake Shack and sugar free Red Bull talking.
C
It made me.
B
It made me so tired for, like, four hours. And I was like, what's wrong with me? And I was like, oh, that's bad.
A
But you were like, you had a giant, tall Red Bull at home.
B
I got the Red Bull.
A
I know how to fix this.
D
Yeah, a tall. A giant Red Bull like that. Is it the same amount as a small one? And they dilute it just because you.
B
I don't know.
D
Or is it drinking? I don't know.
A
I'm going to say hard no on that.
D
So it's too red.
A
I don't think the good people at Red Bull are like, we need to dilute it.
D
Just two in a row.
C
Next week's episode coming to you live from your funeral.
A
What's your doctor's name? I can't believe he's A guest on the Podnovar.
B
Oh, Would you say Graham?
A
Okay, I think I like that you forgot your doctor's name, too.
B
I was kidding.
A
Hey. But we were. You know, Critic's Choice rolls into. We're recording this right before Golden Globes. It's Golden Globes weekend. We've all been before. Andy, you've won.
C
That's right.
D
You both have hosted.
A
We've both hosted.
C
We've both hosted. And I do like to mention this, Seth. I technically won two because I am a producer on Brooklyn Nine Nine.
A
Oh, congratulations.
C
Thank you so much. I do have two in my home, and that feels good for me.
B
It's good for bookending books, you know.
D
Exactly.
A
But there's now a podcast category in the Globes. Ooh.
B
Ooh.
C
Let's get into it.
A
I just. Yeah. I just want to say, like, we want that. We want. We don't want to win it, but we want an invitation because we do believe we can get permission to go as nominees.
C
Correct. Permission from our wives, you're saying yes. Yes.
D
We'll be able to.
A
We can take this to our families.
C
Yeah.
D
There might be a dinner beforehand and maybe even, like a drink during. I mean, we could make a whole night of it, guys.
A
We could have Red Bull and vodk.
C
We could. Where do they put the podcast tables in that room, though?
D
Oh, my God.
B
It's outside the hierarchy.
D
That's got to be in that.
A
Look, we're living in 2026. I bet the podcast tables are closer to the stage than a lot of those.
C
You know, I bet they're front and fucking center. I bet they're front and fucking center.
A
I bet they're front and center.
D
You think there's more than one table? You don't think it's one podcast table? And then they give you. You and a plus one.
A
Do you think we're actually at a disadvantage because they're like, we can't nominate those guys. That's a fucking whole table.
D
Eight people. If we let them bring plus ones.
B
I think they do think along those.
A
Yeah.
B
Of like, who sits where. And if they have enough room, they.
A
Let Dax bring his chair. The armchair. They've let him bring an armchair. They're like, that'll be more fun for people to see him.
C
Well, if he didn't have it, he would no longer be an expert. Is that correct?
A
Correct. Yeah, he'd just be a guy.
D
Yeah.
C
It's a superpower.
A
So we want that. Like, so Hollywood, Foreign Press, Sven, Helga, Hans, whatever. We need this.
D
I don't think that's the way to get in.
C
Madam Mim Broomhilda.
D
Let us in, Mitch.
A
Look, I know they have not given me permission to say this. The lonely, the island. We'll do a song. Nominate us. They'll do a song.
C
We'll do an original like the one y did at the top of this.
B
Yeah, I'll bang that out in a hot second.
A
You want to play it again, Yorm? You want to play it one more time?
D
Play it again now that we're ready for it.
B
Be amazing if the second time I played it I had a longer exploded.
A
Yeah, I do have a second note. Oh, haven't listened to it a second. I don't know if it's on purpose, but I do think it's very funny that twice in a very short song, it tells you to get ready. Like, I think it says get ready, which I guess is get ready for the song.
C
Right.
A
Get ready to have your mind blown by the song.
B
Two different guys.
A
Get ready for the podcast.
B
There was two different guys. It was two different guys.
A
Oh, it's two different guys.
D
Yorm.
C
Is that an official Normal Guy song or.
B
It's on its way.
C
But, like, for someone who's following Normal Guy as an artist.
A
Yeah, I did.
B
I did want to. I did want to do a whole Normal Guy album for all of our listeners out there, and I never got to it, and it's very. It's very sad.
A
Yeah, I mean, I think for all the fan.
B
For all the fan.
A
For all the fan.
D
Really listenable.
A
For all the fan. Oh, speaking of Rage's kill, I sent you guys a picture. We'll put this in the chat as well. Couple came to my show. Jay and Shannon charity winners, backstage meet and greet. And then Jay, at the end of the conversation, slides me a challenge coin. If you ever met anybody in the military, they have these challenge coins, has their sort of rank on it, their unit.
B
They're so cool.
A
And they made me a Quaid army challenge coin. But it's specific to me. And there's a couple things. One, I mean, Jay Shannon, if you're listening, I think the other dudes would love one. And then also my rank was general.
D
That seems right.
B
I think that is correct.
A
That does seem. Yeah. And also I think that the more I thought about it, I realized this is. As armies go, this is a ragtag army.
C
Well, like, what are our ranks?
A
Well, that's. Well, somebody else. What would you want, Andy?
C
What would I want?
A
Yeah.
B
President. This guy knows all the ranks.
D
He is the Leader of the armed.
C
Forces and or emperor.
B
Bunch of privates over here.
A
Anyways, a lot in the show notes. Already giving me a lot in the show notes.
D
Oh, at the Critics Choice, I saw Kevin.
A
Kevin Miller.
D
Yeah, I feel like that's podcast relevant. Yeah, that's our Kevin.
A
That's our Kevin Miller.
C
I think. You know what I'm gonna ask.
A
Did you hook up? No, we didn't.
D
But we hung out outside for a while and just watched people walk by and chatted, and it was. It was really nice to see a friendly face. There were lots of friendly faces there, guys.
A
That sounds less friendly. That is the nice thing. I. You know, I think that award season, certainly for people in the higher tier of award season can be very stressful for us. Sort of middle to lower tier. It's really fantastic to realize how many people we're lucky enough to be friends with that you see those things.
C
Yeah.
A
You hosted that one too, did you? No, you didn't host the Critics Choice.
D
But ifc, Independent Spirits, Jinx, Flemmy, which.
A
Is in the same place, Right? Is that the same.
C
Well, no, the spirits are in the tent in Santa Monica.
D
This was also in Santa Monica, but it was at the hangar at the airport.
A
Oh, yeah, that's it. I had always thought the hangar and the tent were the same, but you're right, they're different.
C
So, Keeve, you know, I'm all about them cliques. What kind of celebs you bump into up in here?
D
Oh, my gosh. Well, everybody was there.
A
Who is your Fave? Best Dressed? Keef's 5 Best Dressed and somebody who looked like a fucking piece of shit.
C
Quickly, Keith, who was a fucking snack, bitch? Tell us who was a snack?
D
I'm not gonna say any of that.
A
Gobble, gobble, gobble.
C
Who'd you want to just gobble on up with a fucking snack mode, bitch?
D
I'm trying to think if there's anything really to say. You know, when I did give my little speech, well, the comedy awards on the red carpet first off. So I didn't even have to get on stage. But that was a relief to me because I hate, you know, public speaking.
A
Yeah.
D
So I knew I'd get there, get any obligation. And the. I mean, it's not an obligation to win. To win an award. It's awesome. But I just knew I wouldn't have to sit there the whole time wondering, being nervous, which is the part that I personally, you know, it's very. I mean, I'm assuming it's kind of everybody that's sitting in their chair all night. Not knowing if they're gonna win or lose makes it very hard to enjoy yourself. And then once your category is done one way or another, you can relax. At least for a normal person, I would assume. And the fact that I knew it was gonna be on the red carpet beforehand is actually part of what convinced me to go. Cause I was like, oh, I'll be able to go get that part over with and then just see some people.
B
How many Red Bulls you have?
D
I didn't have. I didn't have any Red Bulls, actually. Like all award shows, there was no food. Then someone handed me a tequila and I felt crazy. Cause I hadn't.
A
Right. You did send us a photo of you with an a lister who was a just two Guys fan. And this was not. You did not make this up, right?
D
No, I did not make it up.
C
We didn't clear this with you, Keev. This was told personally, but we're putting you on blast.
D
Yeah.
A
I mean, you could tell it or not, but I feel like this person would not mind. I mean, this is the venue that they would like it to be known to the world that they are a fan of your work potentially.
D
He did not say Quaid army, but it was a treat. So I'm out by this kind of outdoor area because that's where I was liking hanging. Cause it's quiet and you can breathe fresh air. And it's by the port A. So, like, you can just go as much as you want.
C
Yeah, Just huff that fresh air.
B
The freshest air.
A
And by the way, the porta potties in the photo you sent us are heavily featured in the background.
D
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
They're nice porta potties, to be fair.
D
That's the place to hang out. Yeah. But anyways, and I see Jacob Elordi showing up to the awards, and he's got, like, you know, a whole crew of people around him, probably security and publicists and stuff. And they're like, beelining to go in. And I'm just noticing him because he's like six' six and insanely handsome. And I'm like, nudging my buddy Danny going, whoa.
C
Weird that you didn't say a snack, but go on.
A
Yeah, we teed you up.
D
He's a whole meal, but. And then. And so I'm just noticing, like, holy shit. That's the. That's the guy. And then he stops and points at me from, like, very far away. And I'm like, is that really for me? And then he, like, has to tell his entourage, like, yo, hold on, hold on, hold on. You guys go in, going, going without me. I gotta say something. And then he just beelines to me, and he's like, yo, I gotta meet you.
C
What's up, man?
D
And he just told me about I'm On a Boat is his karaoke song. And he used to bittorrent or whatever. Pirate Bay hot rod back in his college dorm.
C
That was my favorite.
D
Pirate Bay brought up just two guys, or we like sports or one of them. One of those. So basically just saying, like, all the sweet spots to make me love this guy forever. It's very, very t pain doing the ultimate punch where we're already a fan of a person. And then they're saying, like.
B
And you're like, you know what? This guy's great.
D
All the right things to make me be like, well, I'll love you fore. It made my day. It made my week. I was so happy about it because, you know, I'm a Saltburn head. You know that.
B
Yeah. So who isn't?
C
Elordi. Congrats on your success, Elordi.
A
I don't like when guys like Elordi are so handsome. They're like, I'm gonna do this weird little mustache and still be fucking hot.
D
As shit and still be hotter.
A
It's like, they're like, I'll dribble with my left hand.
C
That's right.
A
Let's see how this game goes.
C
All four of us grow mustaches, and it's just a pack of our crumbs.
A
Yeah, Four crumb.
D
We've seen that in the creep video. We know where that goes. But Sandler says hi, by the way. That's another one. Speaking of you doing that voice, that's how he talks.
C
Yep, that was me talking to Elordius.
D
Him, I guess.
A
All right, I'm going to do a little bit of going through the three episodes since we haven't talked.
C
Bless your heart. I know you're powering through, Seth. I just want you to know I appreciate you, man.
B
Yeah.
A
And that's what a general Happy. I'm not even powering through. I'm so happy to be with you. And by the way, I'm also happy when I'm not here, because somebody did write after episode 90, which was the Listener episode, like, seth, don't take offense, but it's so fun when you're not there. And not only do I not take offense, I wholeheartedly agree.
C
I think there's split factions on that.
A
But, yes, episode 90 was a dream come true. I laughed so hard at episode 90. This was described by a member of Quaid army as the Seths away. So the Alvins can play the Alvins.
D
Accurate. What was that one?
A
That was the lister. Q and A. And here's another comment. I'm just going to read from one of the members here. Another listener. Q and A without Seth. How long before they get to an actual question? Place your bets. Update, 16 minutes in. No questions answered. Though I did appreciate the Haha you clowns recommendation. Great show. Update number two, 23 minutes in. First question.
B
I wonder who won.
A
I did watch Haha you clowns after that recommendation.
B
Great. Can we talk about that?
A
For a hot dad, that.
D
What?
A
That you're in no condition to drive right now.
C
That's not my mama.
A
So it's one guy doing all the voices, right?
D
Yes.
B
Yeah. He does the dad too. Which is incredible.
A
It's amazing. It's such a funny idea to just make like three kids who all look a little bit alike. Just the same voice, slightly different hair color. Really great. It's the best. It's really.
B
And their girlfriend's slightly different. Like all matching. Wonderful.
D
Do we want to Talk about Zootopia.
A
2 a little bit? I'm a big fan.
B
What do you have to say about it?
D
We never talked about it. Andy's a big part in it.
C
Seth dinged me on his show.
D
I know that's. He showed us the video before this started. And I wanted.
A
He fucking went after Andy hard.
D
I was trying to coax him into playing it again.
C
Well, I don't want to talk too much. Cause I like. It's been out for a while. But I don't want to spoil the plot of Zootopia 2.
A
I'm just going to play the clip here. You guys are supposed. You're grown ass men. You're talking like the bad guys in Zootopia 2. But not. Not Andy Samberg's character. He's a good guy. Or is he? Or is he? I wouldn't trust that piece of. No matter how cute he looks. I like that. What I like about that is I'm burning you in the way you talk.
C
That's right. I'm just like embodying my spirit.
A
I'm burning you as you.
B
It's a real advantage. You have your own television show.
A
It is. You know what, Yoram? It is. And I tell NBC every day. It's a real advantage for me. I'd hate for you guys to take this away.
C
Lose my advantage.
A
I would hate to lose My advantage.
D
When I say something here. Andy has nowhere to retort but on a podcast that I'm also on, where I can also return.
A
Very few advantages over Andy currently.
B
Unless it's three Alvins and then you're skewed.
C
The movie challengers. The show is a real advantage.
D
That can looks empty, Yorm. That can look so light when you took a drink.
B
I'm almost about to cash it.
A
I'll tell you when it's cashed. Oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna jump around a little bit. Somebody said, like, from now on, how's the pain?
D
Oh, for. Jump around.
B
Yeah, yeah, go on.
A
You were so late that I. I had to think. Did from now on.
C
All right, go on.
A
Who's that Red Bull that if you drink or eat on the podcast, that the punishment is. That's your avatar on YouTube. Oh, I blew it. So you got to be a can of rebel on this episode.
B
And a burrito. A burrito can.
A
Well, yeah. Last episode, you're a burrito. Andy's obviously gonn apple.
D
Oh, the burrito brain. That's what happened.
A
We're going to get some burrito brain. That was most of the comments, right?
C
I did eat an apple once. I guess I was kind of a hypocrite.
D
Yeah.
A
A lot of people made that exact observation. Did they?
D
Yeah, they're not going to forget that.
A
Also, by the way, somebody called me Questlove and Lynn, episode three Daves.
C
I don't know if I agree with that assessment.
A
I don't think that's fair. I mean, look, I think it's a one Dave and two musical geniuses.
C
They were making me laugh. Oh, you guys are funny.
B
This is wonderful.
A
Somebody wrote. This is the second time that without Seth, the conversation has somehow landed on burritos.
C
But we're BAE boys.
A
Another person wrote just imagining Seth with his head in his hands. For the burrito brain chunk of this episode, he went from 1.5x to 3x. Not true. Burrito brain was. I mean, I wish it could have gone for on forever.
C
I mean, look, it's an. It's a real affliction, and it needs to be addressed, and I feel like.
A
It is gonna be addressed in the next Spider man movie. It might even be, like, the villain.
C
Oh, yeah, it might be.
D
I really hope we got a little confirmation from one of the writers, but I don't want to put anything out there that one of the spideys most likely has burrito brain.
C
Oh, my God. What?
A
Yeah, but I also. I felt bad Cause I wasn't there to make my case. Cause I would really be upset if, like, I didn't. You know, Hayter and I did write an issue of Spider man back in the day, I recall. So I'd love a piece of whatever this is you wrote an issue of.
B
Oh, that's right. You did write an issue of Spider Man. That's amazing.
A
I'm just worried, like, Keev's gonna be the. Of, like, Burrito Brain Spider man. And, like, Norm's already in. You're already in. And, like, I'd love a piece of it, too.
D
Yeah, you got to make a piece.
B
I think that's fucking fair.
D
That's fair.
C
What Spider man would you like to be, Seth?
A
I think. Is there a Spider man who goes, Albert.
C
There is now the reason there can't be, in my opinion, which counts.
A
Hey, I forget what you guys were talking about. A total recall logo on a license.
B
Plate that we actually should.
C
That was a photo we got sent, right?
D
Yeah, yeah, someone designed it.
A
And somebody said you guys talked about the total recall font on the license plate holder, but not the pyramid. Pyramid Mines logo from the movie poster. Oh, right.
D
Yeah, it was that. There were the little pyramid minds, but we didn't have the reference right in front, so I was trying to remember what that little doodad was.
A
Anyway, I felt like people were being a little harsh on you guys, but it is funny.
B
Thank you.
C
I mean, let's not try and act like the Pyramid Mines logo wasn't ripped straight off the Dark side of the Moon on the mood board, right?
A
We're not going to pretend that.
C
We're not going to pretend Dark side of the Moon, the album, guys, not Transformers Dark of the Moon.
B
I cashed it, you guys. I cashed it. The fucking Red Bull's gone, guys. I cashed it.
C
Oh, perfect.
D
I just want everyone on. No, I texted Mari when this started. Like, you need to go get this Red Bull out of his hand, but checking she's not home.
B
God damn. Why you gotta solve me out, bro. Don't do that.
D
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Support comes from Coop. I think I figured out the hack to getting a good night's sleep. Well two I figured out two. The first hack is to try to convince my kids not to wake me up every time they hear a sound. And then the other is having a pillow customized to you. That's why I've been sleeping on pillows from Coop Sleep Goods. The original adjustable pillow crescent is great for side or back sleepers. I myself am a side sleeper in case there's ever a celebrity quiz on buzzfeed or something. Now you know. And I love my adjustable pillow because you can take foam out, you can put foam in, you can make it the perfect shape for you. And my back my hips. Hips are incredibly important. Back gets all the attention but without hips. Good luck to you and all of it. Felt better ever since I've started using my adjustable pillow crescent. And you can take the Coop Better Sleep quiz which is an easy way for you to find the perfect pillow for you. And then you can even get some free pillow consultation with a Coop sleep expert to optimize your sleep. Free pillow consultation Let me tell you 20 years ago. Pay a fortune for pillow consultation. Visit coopsleepgoods.com island to get 20% off your first order. That's C O O P sleepgoods goods.com island let Coop help you show up feeling rejuvenated and ready to go. Get 20 off your first order and try Coop risk free with a 100 night sleep better guarantee at coopsleepgoods.com island that's C-O O-P sleepgoods.com Island this is.
C
Pro linebacker TJ Watt and I'm back with YPB by Abercrombie for another activewear drop.
A
My second co design collection has new.
C
Shorts and tanks that keep up with.
A
All my in season workout.
C
And their new Restore collection is a game changer off the field too, because even pro athletes like me need rest days. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores because your personal best is greater than anything. New year.
A
Same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps plus fries and a medium soft drink for.
D
Just $8 for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher. Hawaii, Alaska and California and for delivery.
A
So I sometimes feel like a mother child. What?
C
Like a motherless child.
B
Oh my God, he's the worst.
A
He's on fire.
D
He's going to just finish any sentence with an old don't leave a long.
C
Ass pause then that's clearly the name of a song that was not a.
A
Long you guys are like a hive mind. Yorm drinks the Red Bull and it goes straight to Andy's brain.
B
That is true. We did that a lot of we.
C
A vecna.
A
By the way, that was.
C
The end of Pop Star.
B
Not to like get into the Pop Star episode that we haven't done yet. But like. But that was kind of what happened in the alternative ending of Pop Star. We hive minded altogether.
D
Remind me no recollection.
B
It was we fought that a giant bee comes back at the very end of Pop Star. And then we hive mind, join bodies altogether, our spirits become one and then.
C
We fight this giant pee Was that on the extras?
D
That's on the dvd.
C
It is, yeah, that's there.
B
It's.
A
We filmed it.
C
No, it was like the other Beats where it was under black.
D
Oh, the movie had been testing through the roof.
C
The camera ran out of tape.
B
Yeah.
C
It was all audio.
D
We had fantasies that. What if the third B beat we did have the camera turned back on and be like Cloverfield style, like, footage all of a sudden, but with, like, insane VFX where all of a sudden you actually like. It twists the. Cause the whole thing of that joke is you're seeing the words on the screen and hearing the sound effects, so anything can happen. So we had made it so outlandish that it'd be so dope to see.
B
The audio was great, though, as I recall.
D
Yeah.
C
Seth.
A
Yeah.
C
Do we need to address the Criterion picks?
D
Yeah, yeah, we're getting it.
A
I mean, it's coming up.
C
Okay.
D
We don't need any. We don't need much time for Betty White.
A
Yeah. This is on purpose. A lot of notes this week.
C
Week.
A
But, yes, we're coming up on that.
D
No spoilers on the Betty White short, but I don't like it.
A
I'm so glad you said that, Keith, because I was wondering if I was allowed to say you fully texted the chain that it sucks.
C
Well, it makes sense because you co directed it with Krystal, your arch nemesis.
D
No, you. Hey, I. When we get into their picks, I think the curse deserved to go into Criterion. So there.
B
Oh, wow.
C
That's very nice.
B
You heard it here first, guys.
A
Save some time in that. That. But when you. I mean, I will say, when you and Chrysler direct together, it's just like jumping over the line, Jumping back, Jumping over.
D
This one sucks for a different reason. It just sucks. It's just.
A
We'll get.
B
You don't like anyway because, like, you.
A
Just can't write good things for Betty White. That's what you were saying in the text.
D
What?
C
She just can't bring an idea to life is what you were saying.
A
You're like. The writing was good. It's just what the you're supposed to do.
C
She's charming.
D
Not the case at all.
B
That's what Keeve thinks.
A
She's a. None of that was that lump that America doesn't care for.
C
We crushed the idea, and then we got this fish on the deck.
D
None of this is true. I don't even like the jokes.
A
No, fish on the deck is a classic KE expression for bad actors.
C
Exactly. It's not something I'm making Up.
A
Fish on the deck.
D
Fish on the deck.
A
I feel like I bring up y falling off the ladder too much. So I felt a little bit, I don't know, vindicated. When? A minute into the last episode or not the last one, when you guys did an episode without me, your arm screeched. And Andy said, is that the sound you made when you fell off the ladder? So it was like a minute in.
B
I feel like I bring it up too much.
A
Hey, by the way, though, Andy, I do feel like when I'm not on the pot, you're a little bit nicer to everybody.
C
Is that true?
A
I think, like when I'm here, I give you the permission to be a little like, shit stirrer. Oh, yeah.
D
Or like he knows it's the way to make you laugh because you're just like a little bad boy.
A
It might be that he knows I like little devil Andy.
C
I'm trying to impress you.
A
He's a little devil.
B
She's trying to move up in the.
D
Ranks, by the way. We have like, Yorm can just walk. Yorm can just walk. He can just walk now, guys. Just talking about FA flatter.
B
He can. But the last week I've been in crazy pain. I just went to the hospital this morning. Cause I was like, is something wrong? So it's not.
C
How come you're in pain?
B
I went to the gym, you guys, because. And by the way, in terms of the Jeremy Allen White thing, I've changed it. So I looked up what Jeremy Allen White's dad looks like, and I'm now gonna try to look like him. That's great.
A
That's right.
B
He's svelte and everything.
C
So you're trying to look like present day Bruce Springsteen.
A
I figured the age wise, he's pretty jacked too.
C
I know he's still in great shape. I knew as I was saying it it was wrong.
B
Anyway, I went to the gym on Monday.
A
Are you gonna try to look like Jeremy Allen wrong. That's really good. Maybe. Anything there? Hey, Andy, if I had been here, I do want you to know I enjoyed the listener episode where you tried to make this work. The vicinitus of your tinnitus.
C
It was close. I knew it was close.
A
It was close.
C
Yeah.
A
I laughed out loud. I don't even remember the context. I laughed out loud when you said to yhorm you were on read it instead of Reddit.
B
I was so bummed that I laughed at that. I'm still bummed about that.
A
Yeah, they did say yhorm. It's A full Theodore to eat on the pod. Oh, fuck.
B
That's right. It is quite fast.
A
So they were like, if you really want to get that Alvin energy going, don't bring a full meal. Well, that's what. Oh, you said, I gotta fucking crack.
B
Another Red Bull, because I got some here.
D
Seth, do not.
A
Again, these are just. These are just comments. A bunch of people said, that's rich, Andy. Complaints about this burrito are rich coming from Andy. Apple crunch, Sandberg.
C
Come on.
A
I did, like, how many times. Yoram's defense for eating the burrito was, I'm my father's son a little. Andy cared for that defense.
C
Did not like that.
B
It's kind of a steal from Mandy. Like, my mother's curse is.
C
Oh, I bad circulation. It's my mother's curse.
A
Yeah.
D
These guys are always cold, I'm always.
C
Hot, and they're always silly extremities, you.
B
Know, we get all sorts of things from our parents.
D
It's my mother's curse.
A
Wait, you say it's my mother's curse? Yeah.
C
I go, can we turn the heat up? It's my mother's curse. I'm so sorry.
B
Yeah.
C
Bad, bad circulation.
B
This is what it feels like to be in the studio with us.
C
Heya. Going back to Yorm being Theodore, do you think we could get Lynn to do a version of Theodosia? That's Theodorgia from Hamilton.
A
Yeah, I think so.
B
It doesn't need to ask.
D
You just asked. Essentially. Yeah.
C
I guess we just.
D
We'll see what comes back. Dear Theodore.
C
Theodora, why you always eating up on the mic? Getting the melody wrong? But you get the idea, Lynn.
A
We were talking about Santa one. The idea that I couldn't watch Gremlins with my kids because they would find out Santa isn't real.
C
Yeah.
D
And.
A
Cause it's scary. I do want everybody to know, when you're married to Alexia Ash, like, there's no mystery.
C
Got it?
A
Yeah.
B
Why? How does that. How's that feel?
C
You're like, it's a boy. She's like, santa's not real.
A
Santa's not real. Here's how babies are made. Here's videos. Like, just, like, everything.
B
Why does she do that? That's sick.
A
She just believes that there's. The world is not a place for magic.
D
But when my kids found out that Santa wasn't real, they literally argued back. They were like, no, he is. Because I saw this and this. And it was like, one night, I heard a thing on the roof. There's that mark in the chimney. And I was like, they're like, what are those? And I'm like, I can't prove that that wasn't Santa.
B
So when you were saying, you can't prove that he's not real, you were kind of being frail. You're being serious.
D
Yeah. I don't think anything can actually ruin it because you can't prove he doesn't exist. Trying to prove a negative isn't, like, you know, that's always the.
A
But of course you could, like, prove, like, you're like, here are the receipts of the gifts I'm from.
D
You can prove the gifts aren't from them.
A
Okay.
D
Yeah.
A
So you can prove that. You can't prove he's not real, but you could prove he hasn't done jack shit, but just, like, come and drink the milk and take the cookies.
D
Yeah.
C
Or.
D
And doesn't do anything.
A
You could be like, he might have been here, but he did nothing while he was here.
D
Correct. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. You can say the stories aren't real about what he does and stuff, but.
A
You could be like, he's a real guy. He's just a bad guy.
D
We don't know. Or you're a bad kid because he doesn't come here. I don't know. I have to pay for all this.
C
You're saying science can't prove that he's not responsible for the miracles of the world?
D
Exactly. He might be.
B
Have your kids ever laid out anything particularly weird for Santa? Like, because we drank alcohol, he made us leave, like, 30 different kinds of alcohol out for Santa, like whiskey and all kinds of. And then we had to, you know, we had to fucking drink them.
C
I'm gonna go ahead and say Red Bull is making you say a higher number than it was.
B
No, Andy. It gives me wings. That's what it does. It doesn't do that.
A
Wait, wait.
C
You have 30 different kinds of alcohol.
A
30. Go. You are. Okay.
B
Whiskey, rum, vodka, more vodka, other types of whiskey and tequila. I did it.
A
Okay, Okay.
C
I stand corrected, and I apologize. Apologize.
A
Great.
B
Santa's real.
A
Somebody wrote. Every time Andy talks about podcasts themselves, it always makes me feel like such an. For listening to podcasts. So good work.
C
I always say, no judgment.
A
No judgment.
C
I just spend my time, my precious free time that I would have alone, like, in a car on a drive, trying to catch up on new music. It's just a. It's just a preference.
B
Yeah, I think that's cool. I think that's fucking cool.
C
Oh, thanks.
A
Some comments about ads because you guys talked a little bit about the ads.
B
Oh, I definitely haven't made them any better.
A
All somebody wrote. I think the frustrating part of the ads is you joking about how little money you get from them. Yeah, get in line, bud.
D
We did turn off the ads that we are capable of turning off on the YouTube ones.
A
Oh, good. Somebody did write that you can do that. And so I'm glad to hear it.
D
Yeah, we did it. We did it immediately after we recorded that one because they were doubling up on there, which did seem frustrating, I would imagine.
A
All right, so thank you.
B
Well, James, I hope you're listening because Akiva Solvat or someone did. So congrats.
A
I was very excited to find out that gonks are also Scandinavian gnomes.
B
That was cool.
A
That.
B
That changes a lot for me.
A
Also, someone wrote in the comments, quaid army helped me out. I must have zoned out at some point during an episode because I don't get these gonk references.
D
I mean, it was pretty heavily.
A
Neither do we. Kind of a bummer to come in so late.
D
It was heavily referenced in one episode about geese, but I don't remember what it was.
A
So I think here's three T shirts. I'm gonna give you guys three T shirt options that have been suggested, and you tell me which one you want in our non exist merch store.
C
Okay.
A
The first one is the front is a goose saying, not a gonk. And then on the back of the shirt, it's a Scandinavian dwarf with a voice bubble saying, yes, a gonk. That's one option.
C
Okay. I mean, obviously that's good.
D
Yeah, Good.
B
Genius.
A
Two Burrito brained to Winter Soldier. Is that.
C
I'm listening.
A
Yeah. MLD and I'll do that one.
D
That's good.
A
Imagine like. Like. Well, give me something ten times denser than Quaid Army Righteous Kill.
C
I think I would wear a T shirt that said two burrito brain to Winter Soldier. That makes me very happy.
D
If it was nice and tasteful, maybe just small.
C
Yeah.
A
Also, I think that, like, if anybody's like, what does that mean? Your response has to be what it looks exactly. What is this? Yeah, this one. By the way, you guys probably should have had the NBC story. I can't tell. You're either gonna like it or hate it.
B
Okay.
A
An SNL digital shirt that I do.
D
Think that should have been. That should have been in the font perfectly. A black shirt with white writing at the NBC store at the height of. At the height.
A
At the height of it. I mean, it's really genuinely good.
D
Yeah.
B
We fucks with we Also if you watch. I think we probably mentioned this in the Hot Rod episode, but when we did the censored version of Hot Rod, all the shits were shipped. So I feel like that also has a little crossover into our brains.
A
Yeah. So that's a shout out to whoever came up with an SNL digital shirt. And also two burrito brain to Winter Soldier.
B
I mean, I think that's my fave.
D
That one just rings true.
A
Yeah.
C
Geese and Gonk's also good. But perhaps the. I mean the burrito brand of Winter Soldier obviously is for me.
A
Yeah.
C
Doesn't really get much better and convoluted than that.
B
I still haven't designed a shirt, guys, and I feel like I should do that. I haven't.
A
Yeah, maybe use the energy you just threw into your heart. Heart can of energy.
C
What is in it? Taurine. Is that. I don't know, man.
B
All the good.
C
Akiva used to tell me, like, oh, you're getting all that taurine or whatever, right?
D
I think it is taurine.
B
Do you guys remember that Rob Schrob used to drink two monster energy drinks every morning? That's how he got start of his day going. Two monster energy. Like the big ones though.
C
That's crazy.
B
This is a big one though. This is a big.
A
That's a big one. Yeah.
D
Seth, you were pretty much a sugar free Red Bull guy at snl.
A
Yeah, I was drinking two a day.
D
Beyond your desk.
A
They gave me my own. They gave me my own little fridge.
C
That's right.
A
I had a Red Bull fridge.
D
I think it's still in Jost's office.
A
Honestly, everything I had is still in Joe's office. He didn't clear anything out. He just put his shit on top of it.
D
It is too.
A
It's like a. Like a crust on top of it. All right, two quick comments from now. Again, guys, this isn't our fault. We obviously would have preferred just taking a week off and not having a new episode. It was the fucking holidays. We couldn't get together and then Jeff. And Jeff has to own. This was like. No, we'll just re air the Schur and Jake Tapper Criterion episode made me record a new top for it.
B
Uh oh, here we go.
A
People were fucking mad as shit. And look, we blew it. Obviously the fact that we didn't miss any episodes when Yoram fell off a ladder makes it seem like we're made of episodes. We're made of episodes.
D
Are we entitled to take the holiday off like everybody else?
B
The answer is no, Keev.
A
Dude, it's Let me tell you something. One of the downsides of starting a podcast, like, Jeff won't let us take a week off. It's fucking squid. Game over.
B
Just.
A
There's no breaks. And you guys are so mad.
B
Sorry.
D
No, he means the. The Quades are.
A
Oh, Jeff just had a very helpful comment. He said we had to run ads for you guys not to make money on. All right, well, fair enough.
C
Wonderful, Wonderful.
A
But there was a really good. And, Andy, I might need you to perform this. This was. I like when a couple of members of Quaid army work together. In the comment section, someone wrote, what's this? A rerun episode? Happy New Year to the ground. And then somebody wrote. As if it was a lyric from that. If I wanted to hear it again, I'd go back and listen to it.
D
Yeah, don't. Podcasts that usually do, like. So we dug this one out of the thing. Aren't those behind a paywall at this point? So it's an actual. Like, when certain podcasts only have, like, 12 for free and then the other back catalog is hidden away somewhere.
A
They were pretty upset that we basically just threw a new episode number on the top of an existing episode they could listen to for free.
C
Yeah. Oh, we shouldn't have done that, should we?
A
Well, it's. It's done.
B
Yeah, it already happened.
A
But.
D
It was.
C
But the pot. The episode already happened, too, so.
A
Yeah.
C
It's not like. It's not a new app.
A
No, no. But we put a number on it and everything.
C
All right, well, I'm a conscientious objector.
A
Yeah.
C
Well, is that how that works? Did I say it right?
A
It is. And you know what we're going to do? We're going to add you to the text chain you're already on. So you can let us know about these things in the future.
D
We'd love to.
A
Fair news, Seth.
B
Fair news.
C
As they say in foggy London town.
A
Support comes from Shopify. Channel the fresh start energy of the new year and finally launch your business with Shopify. We're definitely going to use it when we start our T shirt line. I think the hot new T shirt that we talk about, maybe even in this episode, an SNL digital shirt. 2026 is the year you rewrite your story on your future, make your entrepreneurial dreams come true, start your business with Shopify in 2026 and become who you are meant to be. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners just getting started and we would be both. That would be a situation when the Lonely island does that. They would both be household names and first time business owners and it will work for them as well. You know these are Untuck it that uses Shopify. Allbirds skims. That's just three. Shopify gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. Choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand in 2026. Stop waiting. Start selling with Shopify. Sound effect Cha Ching Shopify New Sale sound I feel like I wasn't supposed to say that. I think they're going to add it in. Well, maybe they like the way I did it or they can add it in now. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com lonelyisland go to shopify.com lonelyisland that's shopify.com lonelyisland hear your first cha ching this year with Shopify by your side.
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Support comes from Bombas. Bombas. You know, the socks. What do you guys have as your New Year's resolutions? One of mine this year is not to get more comfy because guess what? I'm wearing Bombas. My whole family is because my wife buys them incessantly. It's all the socks we own, basically. They got an all new Bombas sports sock this year. It's engineered with sport specific comfort for running, golf, hiking, skiing, snowboarding. I don't know why golf is in there. I would have chosen something like tennis or I don't know, just something where you move around a lot. Football, soccer. It's good for all of that guys. The most important feature that I love about Bombas, the sweat wicking. It's loaded with technology features to keep feet comfy. Technology features. How many socks can claim that they have technology features? You can guess. It really works though. And I am definitely less sweaty than I would be otherwise. This is the best part of this company, you guys. For every item that you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchase, one donated. With over 150 million donations and counting, that's really a wonderful trait of this company. Head over to bombas.com island and use code island for 20% off your first purchase. Make it a big one because you'll get addicted. That's B O m b a s.com island code island@ checkout. Support comes from fabric you guys don't put off getting life insurance. I know all about this. This is why I'm tasked to read this ad. Fabric by Gerber Life is term life insurance that you can get done today.
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A
All right, so here. I mean the one. Everybody's pretty upset, myself included, and I feel like I should have stood up for it more. The curse is clearly criterion.
B
Yeah, yeah.
D
I think.
C
I mean Keev saying it is makes me think like, let's just stop talking about it. It is.
A
Yeah. And there was a little. People thought there was a bit of a music bias from Lyn and Quest. I don't think that was the case. I just think there were great songs over the course of the 36 that we went through.
C
They connect to the songs the most.
D
But also all those songs would have made it. I don't think anybody was saying, like, those songs shouldn't be Criterion. It was just that this deserved to be.
C
I thought they were. I mean, and I loved it. But I don't know if everyone would agree. I felt like they were kind of handing out Kim's video willy nilly.
A
Yeah.
D
Yeah. I think that there might be too many in the Kim's video. Do you have the list right there?
B
I don't know. I thought that the one that I was surprised that they didn't give Kim's video was Tizzle Wizzle. I thought that one is the Date.
A
Is definitely Kim's video.
D
Agree.
C
So, yes, I think they undervalued the date. That's one of all of our favies.
B
Yeah, I love that one.
A
They had Space Olympics, Extreme Challenge. Everyone's a critic.
D
Here's the ones that are on the Kim's video that I would not have. Ready?
A
Yeah.
D
A couple of homies. No way.
A
Yes.
D
Virginia Horses. Pony Express. I. You know, those are really mostly my thing. And I would be like, no.
A
Yeah, that's.
B
That's like a separate section.
C
I would take a bunch of these.
B
Out and I did a lot of animation on those.
D
Megan's room. Yeah. Yeah. But I just mean, like, well, the first one, Megan's roommate.
A
No.
C
Flags of the World. No. Zach drops by the set. No. The other man. No. Extreme Challenge. No. Honestly, of all of these, I would say everyone's a critic in Space Olympics.
A
Yeah. And I would throw in the date, which is.
D
Yeah. And I'd add the date.
C
Yeah, I would agree with that.
B
Nobody likes Tizzlewizzle though.
D
Eh? I might add Tizzlewizzle.
C
I like Tizzle Wizzle, but I don't think it's. I don't think it's Kim's video.
B
It's more that I just. I had just showed Tizzlewizzle to my kid, my older kid, and he found it wildly, raucously funny. So.
C
Yeah. But again, I like it. I'm just saying Kim's video, I think, implies a certain amount of coolness and style.
A
Yeah.
D
Well, also, if Doogie didn't make Criterion, then I would put Doogie Howser in Kim's video. And I don't think I would have put it in Criterion either. Just like the Quaid's.
A
It was in Criterion, but I. I feel like it's not.
C
I don't think it's Criterion.
D
It had an asterisk.
A
I also. I also don't think it's Kim's, But.
D
I loved how much they both loved it. Me too. Let me say that.
B
Yeah, I, I disagree. I think it should be Criterion just because it was so special and different.
A
No, the other thing I will say is that Mike Scher had an idea and I might. We might have to get a voice note for him because I might explain it badly. He goes, have you looked at the.
C
Guys IMDb he's got a lot of ideas. Seth.
B
It's very funny.
A
He said there should be a new category called Laser Cats because we always get like tripped up during Laser Cats. Right?
D
Yeah. There's Criterion Kims. And then was it a Laser Cat or was it not a Laser Cat?
A
And it's like is it a Laser Cats? And it's like yes.
D
And it goes into that category.
A
It goes into there he goes, that just will just save time so we.
C
Don'T have to talk about it anymore.
D
We don't have to relate.
A
It's like it's. There's Criterion, there's Kim's and then there's Laser Cats.
D
Most things won't make it, honestly.
A
No. But it's Laser Cats with a K. Got it. Which I think maybe was accidentally a typo. And then now he feels very strongly should be what we call it.
C
The craziest thing is going to be when one of the Laser Cats doesn't get into Laser Cats.
A
Yeah. Right. It's almost like if it's too. If it's too new.
D
The thing that we're not thinking about with Criterion that we don't have to think about to the very end of this when Criterion approaches us for the actual box set.
A
Of course. Yeah. Is the like and we have them over a barrel.
D
Yes. Is. Is like when you the. The watchability like there is a certain thing where if it's just song after song it might get exhausting. And you'd want to be putting in these Kim videos just to tell a story. Like when you're putting together. When Tim and Zach are putting together an I think you should leave episode, sometimes a really funny five minute sketch becomes a three minute sketch because it's killing the momentum to get you to the next sketch.
B
Like there's a fair amount ebbs and flows.
D
Yeah, there's. There's a flow to it. And I think Doogie, although it is musical, would probably put a really nice calm thing before your next bombastic big I'm in a boat. So I do think this Kim's video ones would all actually end up on the Criterion to space out.
C
But Keev, I just want to make an adjustment here. When we say Criterion we're not saying, like, the way we would curate a Criterion Collection of all of it. It's saying, like, these are the ones that are considered the actual best ones that impacted the world in some way that rose above the rest.
B
I agree and disagree with that. And I sort of agree with what Akiva's saying.
D
It's like a museum exhibit where you choose the famous ones, but then you also choose ones that show how they got there and weird. You know?
C
But again, I wouldn't. I don't know. Unless we're redefining what we're saying on this podcast. Criterion means which we could. It's ours. We could do whatever we want.
A
When we run out of shorts and we start from the beginning, we are gonna make it all museum based. And it will be. Is this the Louvre, moma or the spaghetti?
C
Yes.
B
We should also get someone from Criterion Collection to get on this pod and have them be like, why?
D
I am curious how they select their dvd. Like, which movie they're gonna do next. They must have a committee and have to like.
A
I think they're like, whoever says yes.
C
I mean, whoever says yes, But Kiva. It's also like, this is specifically we're talking about aired on snl. Like, yeah, if we were doing all the stuff ever in that way. Like, this is the first Jim Henson puppet. It like, you would have to put just two guys and stuff like that that we know is. We love and people like that like our stuff and be like, this is the whole breadth of all of it.
B
Yeah. That's how I view it.
A
The journey.
D
Right, Right.
C
I'll be honest. I'm embarrassed for having talked about it this long. Yeah.
A
We're going to. I've enjoyed. You know what I've enjoyed is slowly watching Andy have like very strong opinions and get more and more embarrassed the longer.
B
Oh, he hates it. I just love how much he hates.
A
Now he's trying to pretend like he didn't have these strong feelings. But he did.
C
No, I both have them. And an embarrassed. It can be both things.
A
Hey, somebody. You mentioned everyone's a critic. Someone said, I just rewatched Everyone's a critic again. And I noticed something new. The auction was only for Paul's painting. No one ever saw Andy's painting.
D
That's right. Because Paul says this should be in a museum or Andy says it should be. You should sell this or whatever. That's interesting. Did we?
A
But somebody wrote. I'd like to think it implies that even they both realize no one should see that one.
B
One yes.
D
Did we have a painting for you, Andy? Because we were filming, we might have been like, what if we want to turn around? I don't think we do, but I don't think we probably do.
A
I think.
C
I think if we're talking about, like, logic flaw, it was that they were going to show the one I did after. You know what I mean?
A
Oh, I see.
C
And then all hell breaks loose. Then they don't get to it.
A
We never get to it. Right.
D
But do you guys say you're gonna sell both? I think when you look at Paul's, you say something like, whoa, this is so good.
C
This is actually good enough.
D
Like you could actually sell this or whatever. Yeah.
A
Got it. Did you, like? I enjoyed Quest's observation that Shyrani is better with the audience.
D
Yeah, that's true. Yes.
B
I thought that was a really good comment. Yeah. Quest was fucking on point.
A
Can we just say, can we have a special thank you to having those two share their time?
B
Oh, my God, yes, we can. On three. One, two, three.
A
Thank you, guys.
B
You guys do it.
D
Thank you. I did it. And also thank you that he defended Daiquiri Girl.
A
Yeah.
D
And I loved Lynn comparing the Doogie. He was, like, trying to explain it to Gen Z and that his choice was Addison Ra. Diet Pepsi.
C
Couldn't have been anything else.
D
Honestly, being re sung with a tear in his eye. And honestly, the way he described it, I was like, oh, wow, that would be powerful in 20 years. She's at, like, Coachella as, like, a legacy act and she's like, got that tear and she's doing it all slow.
B
It's a time capsule, bro.
D
It's gonna be. It'll be meaningful.
B
I didn't think it was quite fair to rip on Tyranni as much as it got ripped on, but, like. But I really appreciated that they loved Saxman and that the Roots say sa jokes to each other.
C
I know. That was incredible.
A
Thrilling to me to think of them on a. On a mic just within the band, calling out somebody as a saxman.
C
We were texting about it. Like, Lynn having gone to their shows. Like, we're the exact same. I'm sure we've talked about it before, but between me, Keev and Yor, we've probably been to like 50 Ruth shows. Like, you just. It was what we did. We were so into them.
D
I've.
B
I've seen them more than any band ever.
D
Anytime they were in the Bay Area, we would go.
C
Thinking about them. Talking as a band, talking about anything we had done is so mind Blowing and amazing.
A
Truly.
D
What's up? So Lynn has two kids. They're wonderful. I actually got to spend a whole day riding roller coasters with these kids and one of my daughters at Universal Studios with Lynn. It was wonderful. But I don't need their opinion on Ross Trent, of all things. They're quite young. They're not gonna get it. He was like, I don't.
C
What about their opinion on, like, a butterbeer in Harry Potter world?
D
Yeah, that's great. Like there. It can't be on the table for costing Ross Trent its place on Criterion. He was ready. Lynn was ready to go. Re listen to the tape. He's ready to throw it in, throw it away over to Kim's video.
C
Because he's, like, trying to put tizzle wizzle in Kim's video because of his son.
A
Yeah, true. But I'm positive, just ultimately, like, I love hearing what your kids think about them, but it's not. You know, these are not.
D
Not moving the needle.
A
Not moving the needle.
B
To me, it, like, it can become.
D
Can. Can.
B
Maybe I have a warped sense of what Kim's video is, but to me, if it strikes a different chord or it has a different slight vibe to it that we haven't done before, which Tizzlewizzle does to me, and that's the reason why I would put it.
D
Yeah. Like, even Cherry Battle, in terms of things I'm proud of, like, I would be like, oh, that should go in there on this Blu Ray. And it comes with the Blu Ray play.
A
I could cherry battle Kim's, FYI.
D
Yeah. I don't remember on the episode, did it just get shot down right away?
A
Kind of, yeah.
D
And what about by the Quaids? I never saw the results of the voting.
A
I think it kind of, like, didn't generate much.
D
Fuck.
B
That's so fucking uncool.
A
I'm just going to read a couple more comments real quick. I know it's far too late for anyone to notice, but I had to get in here to say that I teach martial arts and I have absolutely played karate guy in the school while we're doing drills. Yes, The Kia. That's killer. The Kia. And karate guy has a little bit of shy Ronnie.
B
Yeah, Yeah.
A
A little bit of boiled goose. It's definitely the same guy with. Who vocally can do boil goose.
D
There was a fair amount of talk about the sexy saxman videos, the guy who played Careless Whisperer.
C
And I don't.
D
I wasn't there when you guys did the curse, so I can't speak to if it inspired it. And I also don't know. I saw there were people saying that it actually came out before that the curse was first, sexy Zach was second or vice versa. I don't know the answer to any of that. But what I do want to say say is that Mike Diva is who made those. Yes, the homie.
C
And you tell you reminding me. That reminded me that when we met him, he at some point told us about those and we had not seen them.
D
But also he was psyched about the crossover. And we obviously have worked with Mike Diva a lot and got him his job at snl. And so I think he's fine with.
C
We helped him get his job. His talent got him his job.
D
Oh, nope.
A
Oh, look at this.
D
Nope.
C
Oh, you like grease and palms.
D
Yeah. Wait, Seth, you skipped your. The coin thing that they gave you. How did the guy. The guy.
C
Did he grease your palm of it?
A
It was kind of like a palm. He kind of. He palm greased me.
D
He gave it to you in a handshake.
A
Yeah.
D
What.
B
What are those coins called again?
A
Challenge coins.
B
Challenge.
D
I think that was a Quaid army reference, him giving it to you that way.
A
Yeah. He knew what he's doing.
B
Do you. In the army, do you get them for. Do you get them for, like, merit things? Like, if it's something.
A
I think you get them for serving in a union and then you. It's like, I believe it's something.
B
Well, I got one. Somebody said they're really the best weight of any coin I've ever held. It's so nice to hold them.
A
All right, so I'm just reading this real quick from the Internet, but the Coin Challenge member challenges others by loudly proclaiming a coin check. Placing the coin on the surface. Everyone present must produce their own coin. Anyone who fails to produce their coin must buy a round of drinks for those who did.
D
So people just carry. Have to have them all the time.
A
And if everybody can put a coin on the table, the challenger has to buy. And they are custom designed medallions that symbolize membership, honor and achievement within a specific group. Fuck.
B
We all need them. And then go to.
A
They're very cool. And Yoram is right. The weight of them is incredible. Somebody said that they had a. There's a wide receiver for the Detroit Lions named Amon Ross St. Brown and they wanted us to know they won their fantasy football championship with the team name amonaboat.
C
Yeah.
D
That's awesome.
B
Nice.
A
Yeah. Somebody said this week in podcast crossovers, I wasn't expected. Nathan Fillion mentioned On his new podcast that he considered himself to have the softest hands in Hollywood until he shook Andy's hands. I remember that you were smiling before I even got. You knew where this was going.
C
What was crazy is I had met him a bunch of times before that. Like, I think he was in our Emmy video. And then he was on Brooklyn nine nine. And then I saw him him a while later after both of those. And we like gave each other a high five. Like, what's up? And I was like, ooh. And he went, oh. I was like, your hands are so soft. And he's like, yours are so soft. And he goes, never worked a day in my life. And I'm like, that's what I always say when people say my hands are soft. And he's like, you're kidding. It was very wonderful. He has very soft hands.
B
That's a real Hollywood challenge.
C
Yeah. We use the same worked, less self deprecating joke about how we've never worked a day in our life. And that's why hands are so soft.
A
That's actors instead of challenge coins. Actors have uncallused hands.
D
Yes.
C
But my voice box is calloused, you know.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
Which is hard. Yeah, yeah.
C
And my brainium.
A
All right, we're gonna. I mean, we're gonna blast through the short here. So I'll just say very quickly. Gotta go. Yeah, I know. We're gonna go very quickly. I just wanna say this is one of the most iconic episodes. This is the only time the Internet kind of willed this to happen.
C
That's right.
A
There was a bit of a campaign to get Betty White to host. I would say that if you had told me in my time there that the Internet would get behind a host, would that ever move the needle for Lorne Michaels? I would have had my doubts. And yet I think he realized this would be a cool thing to do. He never did it again. You know, it didn't become a thing where he let the host get crowdsourced, but it was Betty White and it was Jay Z and it was really cool.
D
And she was. How do you remember?
A
I can't remember, but she was in her 80s, though. She was sharp as attack.
D
She was wonderful. She still, like, snacked on a hot dog and a Snickers bar.
A
She had a hot dog and vodka at the after party.
D
Oh, and vodka.
B
That's like Shake Shack and a Red Bull.
D
Yeah.
A
It was Mother's Day. Lauren brought back Amy and Tina and Maya and Anna and Molly.
B
Right.
A
I remember Rob Klein had just come back From a wedding in India. And he just. He literally looked at who was coming back, did a little head count, and he was like, I think I'm just gonna go lie down on this couch. I don't think.
B
Too many heavy hitters.
A
He was so beat up and, like, definitely feeling a little. She would have been 88 years old. Yeah, we're hearing from Jeff, but he's like, I think we're good. And he was totally right. The show was stacked.
C
I remember having no show that week and being fine just sitting back and watching and being. Being so happy watching.
D
There is a MacGruber.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
We did a really fun, fun MacGruber with her. I mean, she was a joy.
D
I can picture her on that. McGrath, you're welcome.
C
Okay, let's see what we got here.
A
You know, he used to finger paint on the walls with his little poopies.
B
Nana, now is not the time. We called him PSO.
A
She didn't know he breastfed until he.
B
Was 12 years old. Okay, can we focus, please? He had his first kiss when he was 16. How is Barry, by the way?
A
Nana, I'm asking very nicely, please.
C
Thank you. Stop.
B
Did you know when he was born, they thought he was a girl for two whole months because they couldn't find his wee wee. It's called micropenis.
A
Shut the hell up, you old lady.
B
Actually, in. In the MacGruber, she. There was a piece of audio that she did where she's going back and forth on this little jazzy scooter to get items from a gruber, and she's, like, treating McGrber like he's a little child and talking about his little nappies and embarrassing stories of. And whatnot, until McGrath freaks out on her. But at one point, she's going back and forth on this little jazzy scooter, and she's going, beep, beep, beep.
A
I'm too old to drive.
B
And it was my favorite piece of audio. I tried to make it my cell phone answering, like, when the ring goes off. Fucking loved her. Absolutely loved her.
A
We've talked about it. One of the most. The last two sketches of the night were Unicorn, the Michael Bryan classic.
D
That's right.
A
That she never liked because it was about a dead unicorn and she was an animal rights advocate. And Michael Br. This day is really mad because unicorns aren't real.
C
They're not real.
A
And then, like, for three. I mean, I'm not for three forever.
D
Did it ever air Unicorn? Because I seen it was cut.
A
No, it's never aired.
D
Never aired.
A
But o', Brien, like, just kind of maintained for years that she tanked his sketch and that he was not a fan.
C
The nicest, most professional person in the history of entertainment.
A
And just like. I mean, it was. Nothing was more fun than listening to o' Brien go off about Betty White. The last sketch of the night was a Scared Straight last sketch at dress. And halfway through Unicorn, Lauren was like, we're good. I'm gonna go up to my. Cause it was a really long dress. So he went up to his office. Everybody followed, myself included. And Scared Straight started. And again, it was like her crushing so hard with Kenan that the audience was like, shake. The studio was, like, shaking with laughter. And I was like a scene from, like, Studio 60 where I said to Lauren, I think you might wanna take a look at this.
D
You told us this when we were talking about balcony songs. Cause you did not that. For balcony songs.
A
I should have. But yeah. So that was in this show. That's wizard of Oz.
D
Ain't no wizard of Oz. Ain't.
B
No. No. You do not interrupt one of Gam's stories.
A
She. Keep that up and you will be.
B
Playing Twister on the floor of the prison bathroom.
C
That.
A
That's right.
B
And it won't be no lion, a.
A
Tin man and a scarecrow.
B
It'll be you lying down while tin.
A
Men make you a scared hoe.
B
And don't look behind the shower curtain or you'll meet the wonderful wizard of Ass.
A
All right, so then you guys have a short. I'm gonna say two things. Two shorts that we've talked about that it has a little bit of. I think both serve as maybe a little bit of a detriment. Has a little bit of Doogie Howser. Has a little bit of Tizzle Whistle. Yep.
D
And much worse of both.
C
So against it.
A
Yeah. Not. It is not a groundbreaker neither. I want to say. I do like that before the turn. Everybody does a very good job of selling that. It's sort of saccharine and sweet.
C
You're just going to lean in.
D
Yes.
A
Yeah, that. That's a very nice. Like, Andy, in particular, like, you have a great. Like, you're acting of like this was all this was going to be be. You sell the. Out of it.
C
Thanks.
D
I was ready to like it because I remembered. Oh, and there's a turn. And so I was watching the imagined video of it. Right. Of a bunch of celebrities singing a song where you're like, I hate this. But it's also good. But it's also. I Hate this on this is a comedy show. But I, in back of my mind, were watching earlier, like, but it has a turn. It's going to be fine. And then the turn was so limp to me, I was just like, it's a soft.
A
It's also strange because especially when you look at the show, it is that case where, like, you didn't really need it for content, but you probably did need it for transition. And it was only 90 seconds and it had the whole cast and there was something a little bit sweet about it.
B
If it's only 90 seconds, does that even get Lauren, his transition? I thought it was like 145 that he needed or something.
D
Well, ultimately, at the air, it just goes to commercial after. But maybe he just filled it out the right way.
B
What was. What was the number, though, that Lauren always wanted shorts to be because it allowed them to change sets.
D
It was about. About 1, 130, but it was. I think it was 150 that he.
B
He was always so mad when we.
D
Turned anything less than 150.
C
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I think it's criterion.
D
Okay, great.
A
Now we're getting somewhere.
B
Oh, that was just lovely.
A
But I think I Prefer my version.
D
2, 3, 4.
B
Getting some laughs. Happy Mother's Day, Mother. Yeah, that was fine, guys.
C
It's fine. What are you so mad about, ke?
B
Nothing wrong with that. That's fine. I mean, you know, it was very.
C
Hard to sit through the earnest part.
D
That's what I'll say.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah, it was fine.
B
Well, it was fun to see the gang.
D
You. I was just trying to, you know, get some. Something spicy on here. It's fine.
A
The clicks. Damn clicks.
D
Yeah, I wasn't. Yeah, it was fine. She said mother.
A
Motherfucker.
B
Did you hear that at the end?
C
She says motherfucker.
D
And you know what? Listening on headphones, the audience liked when she was doing flips and stuff. More than I could hear when I watched earlier on my phone.
A
I also like that it's full cast as well as everybody who is invited back. And still no room for Sethi.
D
You were busy. Why weren't you in it?
A
I don't know. It's a good question for the director.
D
You probably were like, leave me out of this trash.
C
Maybe it's because the sound of your singing voice is like nails on a fucking chalkboard, bitch.
A
By the way, that's probably the best.
B
Can't be worse than Bill.
D
Bill sounded fun.
A
Covers it up pretty well.
D
Yeah, he did good.
B
I was surprised at how bad Fred singing was. I didn't like Fred singing.
C
Fred singing was awkward and weird. Yeah.
D
That's up.
C
Yeah.
A
We'll cut all this Jack Black.
C
Betty White looked like.
A
We'll cut all this Jack Black. Sing us in spelling. Be.
D
Spelling.
A
Be anybody. What do you got?
C
Not only did I quibby clean Seth, and you know what I'm about to say. I almost got it squeaky clean, as they say, which is to say I didn't even have to look at a single thing until I was one word away. And I think I even still would have got it, but I just had to start getting going on sleeping because I did it 12:12am and it took me 15 total.
A
Can we call that a queen? A queen's squeak.
C
A queen squeak.
A
Yeah. That's when you get it. When you get it with no help.
C
The thing I love about starting it at 12:01.
D
Yes.
C
Is what I did is that then I can look at the timestamp of when I text Seth I queen bead, and know exactly how long it took me.
A
Oh, that's good.
C
Yeah, I believe it was either 14 or 15 minutes.
D
That's really fast.
B
That's very good. And by the way, everyone, I got wordle in four.
C
Oh, great.
A
Andy. I have a few quick spelling bee things to say, and then we're going to wrap this up.
C
Okay. My man.
A
How happy are you when Avatar is in spelling bee, which it was this week?
D
Very.
A
Yeah. Okay, great. There's sometimes a little bit of a. I don't know, sometimes the bee has a bit of a filthy mouth. And we were talking about both gigolo. These aren't filthy, but gigolo and dildo are words that are in the bee all the time.
C
Yeah.
A
And we're not. We don't. Weirdly, even though comedy words, we don't get them right away.
C
They're both hard to get. I also, for some reason, often takes me a while to get Avatar.
A
Yeah.
C
Just coincidence, but, yeah, gigolo and dildo. Well, some days you forget ones that you know are just sitting right in front of you. And then other days you're like, yeah, there's baobab.
B
Doesn't the word dildo seem like it's short for something? Like it feels like it's like a slang.
C
It's short for dildonicus.
B
Oh, yeah, that's.
D
Yeah.
B
Thank you. I knew that was something.
A
He was. He was a. From Greek mythology. He had a big old.
B
Yeah, he had a big old wing.
D
He got it cut off.
A
Yeah, he got it cut off. And then this this island.
D
So they're like my Dildonicus, the sapphic.
A
You know the story. I don't have to tell the story. Dildonic, we all know.
C
And the guy's like, face me, Dildonicus. Oh, no, don't face me.
D
They reference it heavily in Wonder Woman, the new Wonder Woman.
A
It's like. It's like a reverse Medusa. If you look at it, it turns to stone.
C
Thank you.
B
And then it's even better.
C
When you say turns to stone, you mean it turns into a big old boner?
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
Vibrator was the pangram this week as well.
C
It was so.
A
It was kind of a. It was a real. It was a real saucy.
D
Oh, wait, there was. There was a naked gun in the mini at some point during Christmas break. There was that we texted about. You know, I think that counts as another.
C
Definitely.
D
Shot across the bow. Yeah.
C
They're talking to us.
A
The bee is talking to us.
D
Kill yourself.
C
Let's just say they're talking to us. And speaking of vibrators, you are. You like putting those in your butt.
B
Right, Andy, don't kink, shame me. I like what I like.
C
I'm not shaming. I'm just making.
A
I think we talked about dildo for a long time, but you had to wait till vibrators.
C
I'm making casual and interesting conversations.
B
I me likes what me likes. Gotta get them clicks.
C
Gotta get them teeth.
A
There's a thing that happens with Andy where he gets real tired, but then when he knows it's almost over, he gets this late pod energy. He's so happy it's almost over, he becomes really good at it.
B
Here's the thing. I got so many enemas when I was in the hospital that I fucking like what I like now. You know?
D
That's what's up.
C
Oh, it changed your proclivity Count as.
A
An enema bat dance.
B
It changed my mind about a lot of things.
C
You know what they say, Sometimes you got to just get something, shove it up your butt to know you like how it feels.
A
This has been the Lonely island podcast. I love you guys.
C
Love you, Seth.
D
Love you, too, Seth. Did you say.
A
Later, Arnold.
C
Later, Quaid.
D
Did you say this whole town needs an enema bat dance?
A
Yeah.
D
Okay, good.
Date: January 13, 2026
In this lively episode, Seth Meyers reunites with all three members of The Lonely Island—Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone—for a nostalgic, hilarious, and often delightfully chaotic deep-dive into their SNL and post-SNL adventures. They reminisce about awards season, listener feedback, inside jokes, and ensemble hijinks, capping off with a discussion of the "Golden Girls Theme" SNL Digital Short from the legendary Betty White episode. Along the way, they roast each other, brainstorm oddball merch ideas, and debate the ever-expanding "Criterion Collection" of their iconic shorts.
“It made my day. It made my week. I was so happy about it, because, you know, I’m a Saltburn head. You know that.”
— Akiva (13:21)
“I’ll be honest. I’m embarrassed for having talked about it this long.”
— Andy (50:54)
“She had a hot dog and vodka at the afterparty.”
— Seth (59:56)
“I think both [Golden Girls Theme and Tizzle Wizzle] serve as maybe a little bit of a detriment. Has a little bit of Doogie Howser, has a little bit of Tizzle Whistle. And much worse of both.”
— Akiva (64:04)
On Awards:
On Celebrity Encounters:
On Podcast Fan Culture:
On SNL Nostalgia:
On the “Golden Girls Theme” Short:
The tone throughout is unfailingly playful, improvisational, and self-deprecating, echoing the in-joke-laden, digressive vibe of their SNL heyday. Nostalgia and comic energy fuel the discussion, with moments of sincerity (especially regarding Betty White), interspersed with meta-commentary and in-character banter. They frequently break into bits, roast one another, and invite the audience into their secret language of “Quaid Army,” “burrito brain,” and Criterion-obsessed neuroses.
For long-time fans of The Lonely Island, SNL, or comedy-writing process, this episode is a treasure trove of affectionate roasts, detailed behind-the-scenes stories, and sharp, absurd tangents. The hosts demonstrate why internet fan culture (and the world of podcasting) remains such fertile ground for both nostalgia and invention, with sharp wit and genuine camaraderie keeping the marathon conversation engaging right to the end.
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