Listener Q&A Episode 5

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast – Listener Q&A Episode 5

Release Date: April 8, 2025
Episode: Listener Q&A Episode 5

In this engaging and humorous fifth installment of the Listener Q&A series, Seth Meyers hosts The Lonely Island—comprising Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone—as they delve into fan questions, share behind-the-scenes anecdotes, and reminisce about their iconic Saturday Night Live (SNL) Digital Shorts. The episode, released on April 8, 2025, offers listeners a deep dive into the creative processes, personal experiences, and enduring legacy of The Lonely Island’s contributions to comedy and music.

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1. The Vest Incident: A Sartorial Misstep

The episode kicks off with a lighthearted discussion about a recent sartorial choice made by Jorma Taccone. Andy Samberg teases Jorma for wearing a “loud vest” to a podcast dinner, sparking a playful banter about fashion choices and their impact.

• Andy Samberg [00:40]: "Yoram, you've been on fire recently. Yet I will say that I feel like the confidence of your recent hit podcasts have maybe led you to make a sartorial error."

Jorma defends his vest, describing it humorously as made from “sleeping bag material,” while Akiva adds to the jest by noting the vest’s tendency to make noise.

• Akiva Schaffer [01:04]: "And not like it makes noise on the fashion scene. Like it's on the microphone."

The conversation evolves as Yorma (Jorma) prepares for a dinner appearance, with the group anticipating reactions to his unconventional attire.

• Jorma Taccone [01:18]: "It's loud out and about. It's okay."

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2. Spelling Bee Showdown: Words on the Chopping Block

Transitioning from fashion faux pas to linguistic dilemmas, the trio discusses recent changes in the spelling bee, specifically the removal of previously accepted words. The conversation highlights frustration over the evolving rules and the impact on participants.

• Andy Samberg [09:56]: "And iron was a word that used to be accepted and no longer is."

Akiva expresses his dismay, emphasizing the arbitrary nature of word eliminations.

• Akiva Schaffer [10:15]: "They drop, like, 10 words... Doesn't make sense."

Jorma questions the possibility of words being “voted out” of the English language, sparking a debate on the fluidity of language standards.

• Jorma Taccone [10:21]: "Can words get voted out of the English language?"

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3. Listener Q&A: Hearing from the Fans

The heart of the episode lies in the Listener Q&A session, where The Lonely Island responds to various audience messages. This segment is rich with anecdotes, fan interactions, and reflections on their digital shorts.

a. Humorous Interactions and Digital Shorts Feedback

Listeners share their thoughts on beloved digital shorts like "Jizz in My Pants," "Sushi Glory Hole," and "Space Olympics." The hosts reflect on the creation and reception of these sketches, offering insights into their comedic inspirations and challenges.

• Andy Samberg [24:40]: "Then the sketches, they get the calculator, and they're just really happy, and they add up a bunch of numbers... So I asked Fred where he got the idea of Calculator."

• Akiva Schaffer [26:05]: "Hey, what I remember from Calculator is that at the time they were starting to disappear from the market..."

Jorma shares behind-the-scenes stories about SNL sketches, revealing the meticulous planning and spontaneous moments that define their comedic style.

• Jorma Taccone [32:38]: "Wait, why aren't they in the English language? No, it's like how you wanted to put in, like, your favorite words..."

b. International Fans and Cultural References

The episode features messages from international listeners, including fans from the UK and Germany, who express admiration and connect over shared cultural references.

• Listener from Germany [57:04]: "I love how silly they are. They make me laugh so hard... Greetings from Germany."

The hosts respond warmly, acknowledging their global fanbase and the universal appeal of their humor.

• Andy Samberg [56:01]: "I can see your footprints all over the Bay Area. Anyways, I love you guys a lot and I look up to you a lot..."

c. Vocal Training and Performance Tips

A listener inquires about the hosts' vocal training, particularly concerning the smoothness of their performances.

• Listener [62:32]: "Can you please post this on the Instagram?"

Akiva addresses the question, while Seth shares personal anecdotes about vocal maintenance during live performances.

• Seth Meyers [62:37]: "We had one time where this woman, I forget her name, but who's very well known in those circles as a vocal coach, just came to the rehearsal space..."

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4. SNL Sketch Memories: Behind the Comedy

Throughout the episode, The Lonely Island reminisces about their time on SNL, sharing stories about specific sketches and interactions with fellow cast members. They delve into the creative processes behind iconic shorts, offering listeners a glimpse into the collaborative environment of SNL.

• Andy Samberg [24:11]: "Calculator begins, there's a Christmas tree... And then Fred and Malkovich enter as twins..."

The hosts discuss the inspiration and execution of sketches like "Calculator" and "The Lost Works of Judy Blume," highlighting the blend of improvisation and structured writing that defines their humor.

• Akiva Schaffer [26:47]: "It's amazing how when Fred's like natural speaking voice and then hearing what comes out of his brain..."

Jorma shares insights into character development and the influence of personal experiences on their comedic creations.

• Jorma Taccone [37:23]: "I'm nine years old... How do we find out who the host is?"

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5. Banter and Bloopers: Keeping It Light

Interspersed with serious discussions are moments of spontaneous humor and friendly teasing. The hosts engage in playful exchanges, recounting humorous mishaps and enjoying each other's company.

• Andy Samberg [29:14]: "What a wonderful thing for our listeners to Hear on episode 53, that Yorm's dad's name is Tony Taccone..."

• Seth Meyers [33:13]: "Seth's Corner. You're all invited."

These interactions showcase the camaraderie among The Lonely Island members, making the podcast not only informative but also entertaining.

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6. Concluding Remarks: Looking Forward

As the episode winds down, the hosts recap some of the memorable stories shared and hint at future endeavors. Yorma prepares for his dinner outing, and the group reflects on the positive feedback from listeners, reinforcing their commitment to creating relatable and humorous content.

• Andy Samberg [61:25]: "So we're going to play now our friend Mike Schur..."

• Jorma Taccone [64:43]: "You obviously had a good staff."

The episode closes with heartfelt thanks to the listeners, emphasizing the meaningful connections formed through their shared experiences and humor.

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Notable Quotes:

• Andy Samberg [03:21]: "Stay in school."

• Akiva Schaffer [15:28]: "Doobie Howser theme."

• Seth Meyers [37:48]: "Holy shit."

• Jorma Taccone [41:46]: "Having my own pathways."

• Andy Samberg [56:20]: "Boo at 50."

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Conclusion:

Listener Q&A Episode 5 offers a comprehensive and entertaining exploration of The Lonely Island’s journey from SNL Digital Shorts to their enduring friendship with Seth Meyers. Through candid conversations, listener interactions, and shared laughter, the hosts provide an intimate look into their creative minds and the humorous bonds that sustain them. Whether discussing fashion missteps, linguistic debates, or beloved sketches, this episode stands as a testament to their unwavering commitment to making audiences laugh while reflecting on their rich comedic legacy.

Transcript

[Seth Meyers]

This episode of the Lonely island podcast is brought to you by our friends at Maker's Mark. We are celebrating Women's History Month by recognizing the spirited women in our lives and remembering Maker's Mark co founder Margie Samuels. You too can celebrate the spirited women in your life with a free personalized label. To go with a bottle of Maker's mark, head to makersmarkpersonalize.com and fill in the details in order to create and mail your custom label. Maker's Mark makes their bourbon carefully. Please enjoy it that Maker's Mark Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey 45% alcohol per volume. Copyright 2025 Maker's Mark Distillery Incorporated.

[Andy Samberg]

Loretto, Kentucky as we established last episode. Yoram, you've been on fire recently. Yet I will say that I feel like the confidence of your recent hit podcasts have maybe led you to make a sartorial error.

[Jorma Taccone]

No.

[Andy Samberg]

You showed up to the pod in a vest and it's a loud vest.

[Jorma Taccone]

It is like made of like sleeping bag material. Basically.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. To be clear, not loud, like color wise. Like it makes noise.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And not like it makes noise on the fashion scene. Like it's like on the microphone.

[Andy Samberg]

Would you say it's bad for podcasts, Andy?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I would, yeah. Let me clarify. It's bad.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's loud on the 7 train. It's loud out and about.

[Andy Samberg]

Also, YM is going to not be here for the full podcast. That's just something for our listeners to know because he's going to a dinner and so he dressed for dinner before the podcast. We're getting to see his full dinner vest.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'll let you know how it goes. I'll let you know what people think of it. It's okay. Can I just say this? When I was in fourth grade, I was obsessed with this Nike. It was half vest, half sweatshirt. Had a little jumpman in the and that you could see through the top part of the like basically this, this material.

[Andy Samberg]

So loud.

[Jorma Taccone]

So loud. And I saw this vest and I was like, I gotta get for my fourth grade self. I was like, I fucking gotta get this. It's really excited about it.

[Andy Samberg]

The most exciting thing about when Yoram starts a story is how little you can predict what he's about to say when yhorm is explaining it. Vest said, could I just say when I was in fourth grade, like what.

[Jorma Taccone]

You got to jump logic. You know what I mean? To make them exciting. My brother does that very well too.

[Andy Samberg]

Andy, have you noticed that I'm wearing a long sleeve white T shirt?

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, it Got sent. It got mailed.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I can't see your arms. You're ducked below frame. But let me see. Oh, is there something on it?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Yhorm made me a shirt.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Ah, there it goes. I am a turbot.

[Andy Samberg]

I am Turbo. So yorm came through and did make me a turbo white T shirt. Not what I expected.

[Jorma Taccone]

Nope. It never is. Never is.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Do you think maybe it's because he was like flying off that frog poison.

[Andy Samberg]

When he made it? Oh, no, Jorm maybe has frog poisoned again since we last.

[Jorma Taccone]

I did. I did. I frog poisoned again, guys. I did bufo for a second time. This time I did what was referred to as a heroic dose of bufo. And so I continue to vomit out all my childhood and, you know, regular childhood.

[Andy Samberg]

But I thought you'd already done that. So I feel like this is a bad review of your first bufo that you still had all this trauma left.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, we didn't. We didn't talk about it last time. It didn't get added to the pod. So this is new information for our listeners.

[Andy Samberg]

We left bufo out. Well, then I apologize. Yeah, yours been licking frogs for their poison.

[Jorma Taccone]

I have. It's great. Highly recommend. Not for the kids, though. Stay in school.

[Andy Samberg]

So anyway, here's what we're getting. Yorm made me a Turbo white T shirt. I just kind of assumed the T shirt would say I'm a turbo white. But of course, this is a yorm shirt. So it says I am turbo. Spelled like the fish.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Turbot.

[Jorma Taccone]

Turbot, yeah. And that's on the front.

[Andy Samberg]

And then the back just says blanco.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Blanco, but with a K like blanco.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, here's the thing. It's cool like that. Andy thought I just misspelled blanco, which is fair. You could assume that. Yeah, but I would I. Seth, would you have really wanted a show shirt that said I am turbo white?

[Andy Samberg]

Well, I don't want.

[Jorma Taccone]

I don't think you would have worn it.

[Andy Samberg]

I don't want either version of the shirt. You.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, that's fast.

[Seth Meyers]

That's.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. But accurate.

[Andy Samberg]

But I will. I will say, but even just the style, like you've known me 20 years. Have I ever worn a long sleeve white T shirt?

[Jorma Taccone]

I was thinking about myself, but I'm like, I would wear that with a vest. You know what I mean?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Like a leather loud sleeping.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's not leather.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's not leather isn't.

[Jorma Taccone]

Look, it's Nike. It's a Nike.

[Andy Samberg]

Leather would not be this loud.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Y. I was just at a lunch and guess who Was sitting in the booth next to me. It pertains to you.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay.

[Akiva Schaffer]

This person grew up in your childhood home with you. Oh, narrows it down.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, Asa Tony.

[Andy Samberg]

Close.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh. Oh, Tony Tone.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Big old pops.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Tony.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Tony Holden Court.

[Jorma Taccone]

Tony. Tony. Is Tony. Tony in my phone. You know, I mean, he's not dead, right?

[Seth Meyers]

And.

[Jorma Taccone]

And my kids are following in that tradition. Yorma. Yorma, Come over here. He Yorm.

[Andy Samberg]

What a wonderful thing for our listeners to Hear on episode 53, that Yorm's dad's name is Tony Taccone, superhero of.

[Jorma Taccone]

The theater of the American theater.

[Andy Samberg]

Well, it's like the final puzzle piece clicking into place. Like, all of a sudden, every. All of your behavior is explained by the fact that your dad is a theater director named Tony Taccone.

[Jorma Taccone]

His name is Anthony Frederick Taccone. Like you couldn't be more fucking Italian.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Did we also just gloss over the fact that your children call you by your first name?

[Jorma Taccone]

Both of them do.

[Seth Meyers]

As a bit. It's a keyboard here.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, no.

[Akiva Schaffer]

If my child was saying Andy, you know what I mean?

[Jorma Taccone]

Telling me to do stuff, it does upset me. I agree.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Give me some lunch, Andy. Yeah, I like this less. Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

That seems like a bit, though.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

Is it a bit or is it that they just.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's not a bit. I just. They don't have any respect for me.

[Seth Meyers]

Got it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

My daughter calls me big dude sometimes. She goes, what are we going to do? Big dude. That makes me bluey.

[Jorma Taccone]

Like, big guy. This big blue guy.

[Andy Samberg]

Do any of your spouses call you your first name? Like, I don't think anybody in my house says Seth.

[Jorma Taccone]

What?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, I mean, when we're like, with other people.

[Andy Samberg]

No, of course. But I don't think my kids hear Seth enough to, like, use it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So what is your wife call you? Seth.

[Jorma Taccone]

What's your.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What's the pet name?

[Jorma Taccone]

Any bunny.

[Andy Samberg]

It's a lot like, hey, you guys.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Like a babe family.

[Andy Samberg]

We've babed before.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Babe.

[Andy Samberg]

Babe. I would say we've transitioned out of babe to just like, hey.

[Jorma Taccone]

What? Stand up. Was like, love is shouting what? From another room.

[Andy Samberg]

That's pretty good.

[Jorma Taccone]

And I think that that's inaccur. Great description of love.

[Andy Samberg]

While we're talking about kids being funny, my wife just had her birthday. She's born on April 1st, so she's an April fool's baby. And Axel, who's about to be seven, had this idea. He's wanted to do it for a long time, did not give it away. He made her a card in his Own handwriting. He wrote on the front, when is your birthday question mark. And then she opened it and it said April Fools.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's really good.

[Seth Meyers]

That's good.

[Andy Samberg]

It's like, it's genuinely a great joke. That's not obvious.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I also like it because it ends sweet.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

But also, that should be a. That should be like an actual greeting card, right? I guess. It only works for April.

[Seth Meyers]

It only works for April Fool's movies.

[Andy Samberg]

I think that you wanting to make that into a birthday card is the same way that you wanted to make me this I am a turbot shirt.

[Jorma Taccone]

How many times are you going to wear it, Seth?

[Seth Meyers]

Be honest.

[Jorma Taccone]

Just one. And done. One and done.

[Andy Samberg]

Did you see it, Keith?

[Seth Meyers]

It looks good.

[Andy Samberg]

I think blanco or turbot should now be my spray painting tag when I start doing that.

[Jorma Taccone]

You think you're gonna get into graffiti this late in life?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Hey, he might.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm just saying, if I do, turbot's a pretty good one. Also, Andy busted me for wearing cheaters early on, Keith.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah. Wait, are they bifocals or are they just reading glasses?

[Andy Samberg]

No, they're just like a store bought 1.5s.

[Akiva Schaffer]

My readers.

[Andy Samberg]

I listen to my podcast at the same speed that I wear my eyes. I'm a 1.5.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, wow.

[Seth Meyers]

Are you?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

That's really fast.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, I do too. I'll to a podcast.

[Seth Meyers]

Whoa. You must be listening to some slow pods.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, listen to some real. Well, you know, it's like someone's trying to 2 us.

[Seth Meyers]

They're going to get lost. We're way too quick.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know which part? I always listen to it to, Keith. Reenactments of Win Ben Stein's money guy.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah. Ben Stein.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, you said you called Ben Stein the win Ben Stein's money guy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I felt it happening as I was saying it.

[Seth Meyers]

No, that's right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It was too late. And then I was like, it'll be all right.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Yeah, The Ferris Bueller guy would have been the way you were trying to. You were trying to phrase it. The teacher from Ferris Bueller guy.

[Andy Samberg]

Who's that dude who hosts Jimmy Kimmel? Yo, that was a trick question.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Seth.

[Jorma Taccone]

Let me tell you about the.

[Andy Samberg]

Thing I know podcast show, as evidenced by the beginning of this podcast. We're going to be all over the place. But welcome to the Lonely Island Seth Meyers podcast. We've got a lot of questions sent in from our listeners. So to the Quaid army out there, I would just like to say it didn't work.

[Jorma Taccone]

Didn't Play didn't work.

[Seth Meyers]

No.

[Akiva Schaffer]

We could try it again.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, no, it didn't work, but. But in whatever it is. Is it a Schmidt? What is he saying?

[Andy Samberg]

It's the Quado in the house.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's so weird that sometimes it just cuts it out.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, that's Zoom cutting it out. But it'll hear it on the.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, but then I think we should keep in. Us not being able to hear it.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, for sure.

[Jorma Taccone]

I think that worked really well.

[Andy Samberg]

Not a time I put into isolating Quado in the house.

[Seth Meyers]

Kwado in the house.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Should we keep in. You talking about in what? Should we keep in. You talking about keeping it in?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Should we keep me talking about this?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. They don't want anything cut out, so this is what they want.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, we should just as evidence of how little they actually want everything. Speaking of April Fool's, just a little bit of housekeeping. What did you think of the spelling bee? April Fool's joke, Andy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm going to just be really honest.

[Jorma Taccone]

Ruin it for everybody.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I just did it and got queen bee and never even noticed.

[Andy Samberg]

It was about halfway through where I kind of realized something.

[Jorma Taccone]

Sorry, what was?

[Andy Samberg]

They just used the same letters as they used the day before on April.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Fools, but it was a different center letter.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Wasn't it?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And some of the words were different.

[Andy Samberg]

Andy, do you feel like there are some words that used to be accepted on the spelling bee that no longer are 100%. I'm very upset about this.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

And iron was a word that used to be accepted and no longer is.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Oh, there's a few that I used I would have been able to tell you about immediately, but since they're not accepted anymore, I've ejected them from my brain.

[Jorma Taccone]

Wait, why aren't they. Are they no longer in the English language? Can. Can words get voted out of the English language?

[Andy Samberg]

I don't know. The B is a constantly changing thing. But I do not care for the fact that there's words that used to be accepted in the be that no longer are.

[Jorma Taccone]

I would like to know what our audience thinks should be voted out of.

[Seth Meyers]

The English language every year when, like, Merriam Webster does their big announcement of the new word of the year, like slay or swag or whatever it ends up being.

[Jorma Taccone]

They drop, like, 10 words.

[Seth Meyers]

Something else that. Yeah, something else got to get dropped.

[Jorma Taccone]

Is that true?

[Seth Meyers]

Yep.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Doesn't make sense.

[Andy Samberg]

There's only so many words that doesn't make sense. There's only so many slides.

[Jorma Taccone]

The finite amount of words that's the rules.

[Andy Samberg]

Once again, Sam Azerski, editor of the Bee. We're calling you out.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Just, like, why?

[Seth Meyers]

Just send us a voice note explaining.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, Sam, should we get into some questions?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Hell, yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay, great.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes, Seth?

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, a couple YouTube comments first. This is in the Jizz in My pants episode. Someone wrote, as a Brit, it's crazy to me that you can't say jizz at 11:30pm so, Andy, you've spent some time there, about what hour is it appropriate to say jizz in foggy London town?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, I'm the Foggy London town guy. Yorm. You're what?

[Jorma Taccone]

Vest guy?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, Best guy. That's right. He's wearing a vest.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, no, I've been there. I say foggy London town. But you spent extended time there.

[Seth Meyers]

I did, but not in foggy London town.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, no, I was in Lancaster.

[Seth Meyers]

Lancaster.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, so you don't know anything about foggy London Town?

[Jorma Taccone]

I'm like a northern lad and you're like, posh. I don't even talk to you, am I?

[Seth Meyers]

What time could you say jizz in Lancaster?

[Jorma Taccone]

Lupu. That's how they say it there. No, they say things like, everyone called each other Daisy. When you go into a store, people would go like, oh, hi, Daisy.

[Andy Samberg]

There's nobody answering my jizz question.

[Jorma Taccone]

Sorry, go ahead.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, I would say, like, 10pm would.

[Andy Samberg]

Be my guess that you can start saying it. That's good.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. And maybe honestly, earlier, nudity and cursing are nothing there. Talking about sex is not a thing.

[Jorma Taccone]

Wait, can you say on tv, then there? Like, can you say that?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Just did.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm not even sure you could say it on an American podcast.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Just kidding. This is not being televised. I don't know why I said that. It was just kind of like a Pretty Woman reference. You know, Yoram, how you're always yelling at me? I've never treated you like a prostitute.

[Jorma Taccone]

I do like to say that.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. And I'm like, stop yelling that at me.

[Andy Samberg]

Jamie Lynn Ziggler. This is another comment. Jamie Lynn Ziggler said in her podcast that after Sopranos, this is the role she gets asked about the most.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No way.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Wow. That was a lovely thing to hear.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, sorry.

[Seth Meyers]

She said that on her podcast.

[Andy Samberg]

She said that on her podcast, and one of our listeners heard that on her podcast and shared it with us.

[Seth Meyers]

That's amazing.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Hold up. Other people have podcasts?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. I don't know how to break this.

[Jorma Taccone]

To you about the past.

[Andy Samberg]

Named a lot of people. Dude, Podcasts about the past.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's Our lane.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, I'm such an imp.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I can't stop making impish comments.

[Andy Samberg]

Is that the new word in Merriam Webster this year?

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, I think imp's been in there for a minute.

[Andy Samberg]

It's just you're using it a lot now. All of a sudden I feel like we haven't established slang on the pod and I don't like that. There's just a new word now.

[Jorma Taccone]

You guys, it would be so funny if we all got vests.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, my God.

[Seth Meyers]

Your vest is interesting because vests are obviously have been very popular in Silicon Valley as like a tech bro thing, like the micro whatever you call them, Patagonia style ones. And when you go to the bay, every other person's in like either a fleece or a micro. What do you call it? But yours is not that. Yours is not a tech vest.

[Andy Samberg]

No.

[Seth Meyers]

Yours is like shiny nylon.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's kind of baggy at the bottom.

[Seth Meyers]

Like a windbreaker.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Box cut windbreaker vest.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. It's like a parachute, like almost hip hop kind of vest.

[Seth Meyers]

Yes.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Gonna say like you almost should be wearing like Timberlands or Rockports with it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

It looks like Jeru the Damage. I could have worn it back in 98.

[Andy Samberg]

It's a little bit of a bell cut.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes.

[Andy Samberg]

Kind of when you stood up, you looked a little bit like a. Like a black shiny bell.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

I didn't realize that I was going for Jeru the damager, but that's correct.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I always.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, you could come clean. You know what I mean? That one's just for Questlove.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Seth Co act. I tried today unaccepted.

[Andy Samberg]

You used to be accepted.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

A great example.

[Seth Meyers]

This is part of the wokification of America, guys. Slays in there and coax gone. What the world coming to?

[Jorma Taccone]

What's next? We can't say anything.

[Seth Meyers]

They're killing all our favorite words.

[Andy Samberg]

Somebody wrote in. I've listened to jizz in my pants a million times and not once it had occurred to me that Andy and Joram were doing English accents. I guess I just thought it was some kind of jizz related speech impediment.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, man.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Andy Samberg]

Multiple people said this about the English accents they had assumed and I kind of thought this was a nice observation that you were maybe Germans speaking English in that way that sometimes sounds British.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's fair.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, that tracks. I mean, it's definitely the genre of music that a German would speak English on.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

Euro in general. Pan European.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. We don't know who taught you English. It could have been. You're German, but your English teacher had an English accent.

[Jorma Taccone]

I think that's right. In retrospect, I think that that person's right. We are German doing English.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, there you go.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You were correct. We take it back.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm going to just get in some questions now from the Kuwait Army.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Hit us.

[Andy Samberg]

When and how does the cast find out when upcoming hosts get booked? Mass email, break room, bulletin board. Are there varying levels of excitement amongst the cast when you do find out, or is just business as usual for everyone? Forever your Quaid forever.

[Seth Meyers]

You're Quaidy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So Quaid army has just happened now. It was like an offhanded.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, yeah, that's when we slipped into it.

[Andy Samberg]

Can I say I also went back. You know, obviously it was a bust because none of you could hear it when I played my sweet, you know, Quato in the house.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

The best thing about Quado is that it is a recurring sketch that only recurred once. So it's twice. I feel like maybe the most damning amount for a sketch to happen is twice, because Lauren bought into it enough for twice. But then he wasn't fool me three times.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

But do you know this? That both times Cuado appears, he says his bad breath is kicking like.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes, yes, of course.

[Seth Meyers]

Bruce Lee would be one.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Bruce Lee and Adam Vinatieri.

[Andy Samberg]

Amazing poll.

[Jorma Taccone]

Right?

[Andy Samberg]

How do. How do we find out who the host is?

[Seth Meyers]

Usually it's when you're just in Lauren's office to ask him a question and you happen to glance up at the board and see that a new card is up there in the future, and you go, oh, shit.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes.

[Andy Samberg]

It really is like that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yep.

[Andy Samberg]

It's not that there's a main room that it gets posted in. You just sort of. When you find your way into Lauren's office, you get the news.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Which I think is intentional, where they're like. Yeah. And then people will see it when it's in there.

[Seth Meyers]

No one tells you, no one announces it.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

It's just none of your business. And then if you just happen to be in there, you might clock it.

[Jorma Taccone]

But it is. It is quite exciting.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, I guess everybody's in there on Monday at Pitch, so everyone gets a chance to kind of look up there, even if they're not the type of cast or writer that just wanders into Lauren's often. Oh, the talent office, Kevin writes, also has a board with hosts and musical guests. If you're the type that wanders into there.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah. And so Does Higgins. But Lauren's usually has them before those other offices on the wall, I've found. But maybe not anymore.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Just depends what kind of employee you are, if you're the kind that goes in there and chats a lot or not.

[Andy Samberg]

Were we?

[Jorma Taccone]

Were we? I can't. I can't remember. I feel like I did that in Higgins.

[Seth Meyers]

We were definitely a more chat with Lauren right off the bat than most people. Because of Hot Rod.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yep. And also just our sunny dispositions.

[Jorma Taccone]

So cool.

[Andy Samberg]

He loved having you guys in. He remember. He would be like, it's the four. Remember when Lauren tried to make the for you a thing?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

He was like, four bros.

[Seth Meyers]

He'd be like, I'm the lost member.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh. With him. Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. He'd be like, all right. Four bros unite.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He's like, I call D'Artagnan Engine. Whoa. Four bros.

[Andy Samberg]

He's like, oh, my God. Everybody's probably wondering what the four bros are up to.

[Seth Meyers]

D'Artagnan. Is he the fourth Musketeer, or is he one of the three Musketeers? Because it seems like a weird. If he's saying I'm the fourth. I called D'Artagnan famously, there were three Musketeers, not four.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, my God, Akiva, you think I haven't been humiliated enough already today with the Ben Stein thing?

[Seth Meyers]

But I do feel like maybe D'Artagnan is a fourth guy that isn't one of them that shows up and kind of steals the show.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know, like when you watch a game show and people buzz in too early and they get it wrong, but you're like, but respect for diving in.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know, for taking the plunge.

[Seth Meyers]

I do want to pay that respect to you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thank you.

[Andy Samberg]

It would be awesome if Andy had been on Celebrity Jeopardy and buzzed in at 1 and said, who is the guy from Winning When Ben Stein's Money?

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, we could have.

[Andy Samberg]

That would have been a real memeable moment.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I was watching the show. Who hosted When Ben Stein's Money?

[Andy Samberg]

This episode of the Lonely island podcast is brought to you by our friends at Maker's Mark. And I'm with some of my friends right now. Hi, guys.

[Jorma Taccone]

Hello.

[Seth Meyers]

Hi.

[Andy Samberg]

You know, Margie Samuels was a spirited woman. She was also the co founder of Maker's Mark. I don't have to tell you guys this stuff.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, no, we know it, but our listeners might not. So continue.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, well, in honor of Women's History Month, we wanted to toast some of the spirited women in our lives.

[Jorma Taccone]

That was my idea. Actually. These guys were thinking about not doing it. I was like, we should.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. You are in many ways as trailblazing as Margie Samuels Yoram and I often said that.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, I kept saying, I want to mark this day with Maker's Mark. And you guys kept saying, what does that mean? I was like, it means a toast, guys.

[Andy Samberg]

Way to land the plane, buddy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thank you.

[Andy Samberg]

Thank you. I want to tell a story about a spirited woman I saw during the 50th. And I was a little bit lucky because I was there on Friday for some rehearsal action. And I got to watch the Close Encounters rehearsal with Kate McKinnon, and I feel it's the most I've ever watched an actor's process. Guys, I'm going to wrap this up. You too can celebrate the spirit of women in your life with a free personalized label to go with a bottle of Maker's mark. Head to makersmarkpersonalized.com and fill in the details in order to create and mail your custom label. Don't forget to grab a bottle of Maker's Mark to go with it.

[Seth Meyers]

Maker's Mark makes their bourbon carefully. Please enjoy it that way. Maker's Mark Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey, 45% alcohol per volume. Copyright 2025, Maker's Mark Distillery Incorporated, Loretto, Kentucky. And now a word from our sponsors at Betterment. When investing your money starts to feel like a second job, Betterment steps in with a little work life balance. They're an automated investing and savings app, which means they do the work while they build and manage your portfolio. You build and manage your weekend plans. While they make it easy to invest for what matters, you just get to enjoy what matters. Their automated tools simplify the complex and put your money to work optimizing day after day and again and again. So go ahead, take your time to rest and recharge. Because while your money doesn't need a work life balance, you do make your money hustle with Betterment. Get [e-mail] that's B E T T E R M E N T.com investing involves risk performance, not guaranteed support for the Lonely Island.

[Andy Samberg]

Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb. Hey everybody. Obviously this podcast is about four friends hanging out, talking about old times. And all four of us are parents. Sometimes we go on vacations with our kids. I just recently took a trip with my kids and they're very loud and I want them to have the freedom to be the children they are and not always be shushing them because we are in A hotel. And that was one of the many benefits of taking our spring break in an Airbnb. You could hang out in a living room, not in a hotel lobby. And you know what? I kind of feel like a meal is better shared around a table than a bed. I feel like eating in a bed is a sign that things aren't going great. So it was fantastic. We had a great time. They did not wake us up early because they had their own rooms, and it was just so much better. And maybe you're someone who's thinking, you know what? My home could be a great get together for old friends who are not looking to meet new people. You've put a lot of time, effort and work into your home, and someone out there would probably love to experience it while they're traveling. And then they would rave about how it was the highlight of their trip. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host hey, real quick. I just want to pop through because I really loved the Malkovich episode. Fantastic monologue. It was a very Christmassy show. The monologue written by Tucker and Lutz. Do you remember? It was just John Malkovich sitting at home base surrounded by actual kids reading Twas the Night Before Christmas and just pausing for a lot of Malkovichian takes on the poem.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes, yes.

[Andy Samberg]

And at one point he says, went out on the lawn, there rose, there.

[Seth Meyers]

Was such a clatter.

[Andy Samberg]

I sprang from my bed to see.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What was the matter. You know that the state of California has a home invasion law where it's actually legal to shoot someone just for entering your residence?

[Seth Meyers]

And I'm talking.

[Andy Samberg]

I mean, perfectly legal.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Did you know that?

[Andy Samberg]

And then it just cuts the kids. He says, well, it's true. Just real lot of really nice moves in the body of that. He also at one point pauses and says, now who's in the mood for a treat? He holds out a bowl and says, I have a whole bowl of. I have a whole bowl of Hall's. Mentholyptus, anyone? Mentalyptus, anyone? No? And then he adds, when I was a child, we used to suck on pennies. Great.

[Jorma Taccone]

Good, good.

[Andy Samberg]

Then there's a gas. Right. I kind of forgot. Do you remember the gas? Right. Parody, which was Fred's take on Breathe. Right. Nose strips.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, that one.

[E]

Really good.

[Jorma Taccone]

Is it the butt spreading?

[Seth Meyers]

It's holding your buttocks.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

It pulls your buttocks apart so you don't loudly pass gas.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, it's such a good.

[Seth Meyers]

What a good invention.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, it's great, because the beginning, before he shows the product, he's in bed with wig, and he loudly farts, and it wakes her up. And then he shows how it pulls the buttocks apart so that it's quiet. But then the last scene is him in bed, and there's no sound. But then she still wakes up, goes, oh, what's that smell? Because it doesn't stop you from parting.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He's like, we'll never know.

[Andy Samberg]

We were talking about sweetness earlier. One of my favorite sweet sketches of all time. Andy, you were in this sketch. The sketch is called Calculator.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No memory.

[Andy Samberg]

Calculator begins, there's a Christmas tree. Bill is a dad. Casey Wilson is a mom. You are their son. You're so excited. It's almost midnight on Christmas Eve. You're gonna open presents. You all look very modern. And then they say, where are the twins? And you say, they'll be down any second. And then Fred and Malkovich enter as twins, matching sweaters, curly black hair. And they're so excited because all they want for Christmas is a calculator.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But don't they have, like, thick New York accents?

[Andy Samberg]

They have thick. They're like, we're going to get a calculator. Also, they're your younger brothers. They look three times your age. No one else in the scene has an accent. And they're just like, we're going to get a calculator. The entirety of the sketch is them being excited about calculators and how they're going to add up a bunch of numbers.

[Akiva Schaffer]

All right, do 89 times 56.

[Seth Meyers]

Whoa.

[Andy Samberg]

Dude.

[Akiva Schaffer]

17.5. 374. I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

[Andy Samberg]

It is such a wonderful performance. They match each other's energy. It's a lot. Like, I'm gonna add up so many numbers. Is gonna be 50 places past the decimal point. And again, you keep thinking it's a sketch that's taking place in the 70s. And then you say, why don't you just use the calculator on your phone? And they yell, shut up, Glenn. Nobody asked you, Glenn.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

And then just the sketches, they get the calculator, and they're just really happy, and they add up a bunch of numbers, and then the two of them, in unison go, whoa. It's just so happy. But anyway, I reached out to Fred because it is one of. It's a very, like, uniquely Fred sketch where there's sort of no conflict and it's just lovely. And it's a small observation. So I asked Fred where He got the idea of calculator and he sent in this voice note.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Hey, what I remember from calculator is that at the time they were sort of starting to disappear from, you know, the market as like a product you can get. So I was like remembering that they used to be in catalogs, like the Sears catalog, you know, like different models of calculators and then that you could see them in like display cases in camera stores and stuff. So I think it was just, you know, I was writing it, it was more like, oh, whatever happened to that as its own thing? And that was pretty much it. It just, you know, and then I just thought like it'd be two like Long island guys, kids hoping to get their calculators.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's amazing how when Fred's like natural speaking voice and then hearing what comes out of his brain and his characters, they're like.

[Seth Meyers]

He speaks in like. I'm just the most Norma person you've ever met in your life. Yeah. So I just kind of thought that would be the thing. And it's the craziest thing.

[Andy Samberg]

Do you remember nine year old advice from the update desk, Andy?

[Akiva Schaffer]

No.

[Andy Samberg]

That was you as David Rasmussen. This was the story in the news that made you and Tucker write a sketch. A nine year old boy named Alec Graven has just authored a book called how to Talk to Girls. Here to comment is another kid author who's just written a competing book called A Kid's Guide to Talking to Girls. Here's nine year old David Rasmussen.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Still don't remember it.

[Andy Samberg]

David kind of comes out and is very cute and Amy is very taken with his precociousness and then his early advice, you know. Oh yeah, it's super easy for me to talk to girls. You just have to have confidence, a smile and be willing to share your snack once in a while. And Amy's like, well, that's really good advice for a guy of any age. And it's really nice advice. And then it takes a turn. Oh, and another thing, play girls against each other by talking to a lot.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Of them at once.

[Andy Samberg]

If I see some talent out on.

[Akiva Schaffer]

The playground, I chat her up as.

[Andy Samberg]

Well as everyone around her.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Maybe you end up with her less attractive best friend, but that's okay. You know what they say, they all.

[Andy Samberg]

Look the same with the lights off. And then Amy's less. Amy's less psyched to be talking to nine year olds.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What's weird about this, Seth, is I don't remember it at all. But when you told me the premise I pretty much guessed what I said. I was like, oh, that's something that I know how to write.

[Jorma Taccone]

Gonna go left.

[Andy Samberg]

And another thing, Amy, girls love again, nine years old.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

And another thing, Amy, girls love cocaine.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Especially white girls. It makes them crazy. But be careful because it can get exhausting. Ladies, you're gonna wear me out. I'm nine years old. The only balls I've dropped are in the outfield.

[Akiva Schaffer]

There you go. That's an update joke right there. Feature. An update feature joke.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

The reminder of the premise. I'm nine years old.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, there's a very nice move at the end too, because she says she's very upset and she's gonna tell your parents and you start to cry and then she had sympathy and says, I won't tell your parents. And then you immediately stop crying and say, and don't be afraid to cry. Girls love it. So you're playing Polar too?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Playing her. Could never happen in real life.

[Jorma Taccone]

Too savvy, you guys, I have. I have to go. I love you very much.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, everybody, Yoram's going to dinner and the next podcast he's going to let us know how the vest played. How many people are going to be at the dinner, Yoram?

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, it's a Scott Frank dinner, so I don't know who's going to be there, so.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, he's notorious for just ripping on people's outfits when they show up at the table.

[Jorma Taccone]

What if he was wearing the same? It's possible. So we'll see.

[Andy Samberg]

Well, you do us and the listeners of the pod a solid.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

At some point, if it's appropriate, do a quick straw poll from the people at the dinner and get their take on where they stand on the vest.

[E]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'll get Scott to weigh in.

[Seth Meyers]

They don't know you're not a vest guy and haven't been for 20 years. They don't know you well enough.

[Andy Samberg]

I'll.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'll ask though. Okay. Bye. Bye.

[Andy Samberg]

Goodbye.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And that was the last time they ever saw Jorma.

[Seth Meyers]

A little bit of trivia on the John Malkovich one is if you watch those recent SNL docs, the four parter Peacock one, there were sometimes really good, like MiniDV looking footage of behind the scenes. And it was of this era and it was all from that episode. Cause there was a camera crew allowed to film a bunch behind the scenes.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, yeah, I had forgotten this was the week, but I feel like I watched that documentary when it came out and haven't thought about it since. Have you seen it, Seth, recently?

[Andy Samberg]

I have not seen it recently, but when I watched it, it brings me pleasure to watch us in that era.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, there's two things we're talking about. One was a documentary called Saturday night from 10 years ago or something. Or more. Right. That me and you saw, actually, Seth.

[Andy Samberg]

Yes, we did. Right.

[Seth Meyers]

We were at south by Southwest for MacGruber, so this must have been 2010 or 2011 or something. And we went from a Gruber. And then we were like, oh, my God, that doc is airing. Let's go over and see ourselves in it. And then went. And then they kept asking questions, and then the moderator just looked up at us in the audience, was like, can you guys answer these? And then so we had to start answering questions, even though we were just ticket buyers in the crowd. But that footage got relicensed into the docs from the 50th from a month ago.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

So it's the same footage.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes, yes, I saw that.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

They sort of made a choice of which sketch to follow based on the table, which was this Empire carpet sketch where John Malkovich played a guy who was in a recording booth auditioning to play the 5, 8, 8. That voiceover. And it played really hot at the table, and then it died at dress. But it was very interesting that a documentary crew went to table and thought they had picked the one that. To make it all the way to air and got it wrong.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes. Such a good introduction to how the show actually is, where you're like, this is clearly the best thing. And then it just doesn't work on the floor.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. I mean, Fred was the Empire carpet guy, and Will was sort of a sound engineer. And every time Malkovich would finish, Fred would give a little negative head shake. And then Forte would scream, again.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Again. Empire.

[Andy Samberg]

Again.

[Akiva Schaffer]

800, 5, 8, 8, 2, 300.

[Seth Meyers]

Empire.

[Andy Samberg]

Again.

[Akiva Schaffer]

800, five, eight, eight.

[Andy Samberg]

Again.

[Jorma Taccone]

800, five, 8, 8.

[Andy Samberg]

Again. 800. Again.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I don't know what you want.

[Andy Samberg]

Again. And Malkovich sort of has a breakdown because he doesn't know what the Empire carpet guy wants. And then Fred tells a long story about how the Empire carpet business began, which is very dark beginning, and it was a real sketch for comedy writers, and that's one of the reasons it played so hot on Wednesday, but then just fundamentally did not get traction. Dress.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So it didn't air.

[Andy Samberg]

It did not air.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Whoa.

[Andy Samberg]

It makes for a better documentary because you sort of see the moment where they're finding out it doesn't make it. And it just makes for better Television.

[Seth Meyers]

We also aren't in it almost at all. Especially me and Jorn, because we were editing Jizz My Pants the whole week. And every time the camera crew would come in, we would just stop because we didn't want them seeing it. And we would just, like, stare and do funny. Like, we never let them see the process. We would stop the process and, like, look at the camera and be awkward. So we're not in the dock at all because we didn't let them see.

[Andy Samberg]

I also. Oh, no, Yhorm's not here. Can somebody do a quick. Seth's Corner?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Seth's Corner. You're all invited. Seth's Corner. It's happening right now. Just play the other one, guys.

[Seth Meyers]

No, I'll give you the background music now, and then you put it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So then they marry those together.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Actually, now I do really want to hear that. Seth Corner. You're on Seth Corner. It's happening right now.

[Andy Samberg]

I wrote Jacuzzi.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, but that aired.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, that aired.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That was a classic, top of show kind of a piece, right?

[Andy Samberg]

No, last sketch.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, five to one.

[Andy Samberg]

Well, it needed a actual working hot tub, by the way. This is.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I never think about it at the. But it's got a little Jon Hamm's Jon Hamm vibe too.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, 100%. I'm pretty sure that I came up with Jacuzzi while people were pitching around on Monday. And I was just going through all of John Malkovich's movies in my head and then thought about Dangerous Liaisons and then basically pitched Dangerous Liaisons, but in a hot tub, and it's called Jacuzzi.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It'S immediately very fun.

[Andy Samberg]

Andy, were you in it or were you not in it?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I was not in it.

[Andy Samberg]

You were in it. No, by the way, that means you were in a hot tub. You were in a hot tub having a sword fight with John Malkovich. And your career is so rich with experience, you do not remember that?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I think it's because we were dealing with the Jizz My Pants stuff. That's all I was thinking about because it was my piece with the guys, obviously. And we had be like, hold on a second, guys.

[Seth Meyers]

I gotta go get in this hot tub and do some bullshit and I'll be right back.

[Andy Samberg]

Not even that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's just like. You're just detached from reality.

[Andy Samberg]

And Malkovich kept complaining to Lorne. He's like, I feel as though my scene partner in Jacuzzi is elsewhere.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's a good Malkovich.

[Andy Samberg]

He keeps muttering about jizz.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Can I do a Malkovich Seth. Seth is. It's bad.

[Andy Samberg]

Wait, were you doing it?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Once in a while. You gotta check in on it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I was gonna try. I don't want to go. No, it's bad. Wait. Keev. Do yours.

[Seth Meyers]

Seth, no.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No. Okay. So Seth is the only one with Malkovich. But now we know.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know what I mean?

[Andy Samberg]

But Hayter does Malkovich, and friend of Malkovich is Vinny Videci. It's really fun.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's amazing. Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

I can be John Malkovich. I'm sorry. Hello. My name is John Malkovich.

[Jorma Taccone]

I don't sound anything like that.

[Andy Samberg]

No, no, you sound exactly like this. What a favorite moment. I forgot, but Bobby shows up as Vinnie's son and is a really funny Italian kid. And this is the beginnings of seeing, like, oh, there's so many things that Bobby Moynihan is going to be great on at the show. But at the very end, Vinnie says, sorry, we've run long. Apologies to Chef Boyargs. And it cuts to you and Kenan as, like, Chef Boyardeez, but with, like, Flava Flav clocks around you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's my part?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. You don't have a line?

[Seth Meyers]

No, he jumped. I mean, the one that you were remembering was the hot tub.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, no, I was talking about your. I also have a part in Vinny Videtchi.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm sorry.

[Andy Samberg]

That's okay.

[Seth Meyers]

Your part was in a hot tub. Fencing or something.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Was I actually in the hot tub?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Thinking about that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I gotta watch this show.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, you. You should. It's a good. And it's a good season.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's called Saturday Night Live.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And when does it air?

[Andy Samberg]

I. All right. I feel like this is a story I've told. But Malkovich was also a sketch called the. The Lost Works of Judy Blume. And Malkovich played a girl named Gertie in a unreleased Judy Blume book. And he was sort of wearing sort of a lavender turtleneck and purple overalls. Looked very, like 80s Judy Blumey. And he really liked the outfit. So he just sort of hung out in it all Friday during rehearsal and all the sketches.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I don't think you saw that. Incredible.

[Andy Samberg]

And I was talking to him backstage. I was just in the hallway with him. We were talking about Jacuzzi. And he had been so good at performing it like he had in the movie, except in a hot tub.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes.

[Andy Samberg]

You know, at the table. And I said, when was the last time you've seen it? And he said, I believe I saw it at the premiere. And I've not seen it since.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, that's right.

[Andy Samberg]

And so I was like, oh, so your memory of it is enough that you can do it just like that? And he says, if you think it was accurate to the original, then I suppose you're right. Then he said that thing all night.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He's a good Malkovich. I'm getting into the.

[Andy Samberg]

I'll never forget. He goes, last night I was waiting to meet a friend for dinner and they were running late. And to pass the time, I tried to think of every movie I'd ever been in. And the 58th movie I thought of was Being John Malkovich.

[Seth Meyers]

Holy shit.

[Andy Samberg]

And I like that. He did not tell it to me like, this is a joke, but he did think, that's fascinating.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah. Maybe he was going in chronological order.

[Andy Samberg]

I don't think so. Cuz even he was like, how crazy is that? Yeah, you think that's like one or two. That would be like if Ben Stein tried to come up with everything he'd been in.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And here it comes.

[Seth Meyers]

What's the first one you think of for him? I have. I have mine, and it's not a joke.

[Andy Samberg]

Your first? Malovich?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. When I. When someone says Malovich, that isn't the first one I think of. I just have a specific one that comes to my mind.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I just had one pop into my head.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, on the count of three, everybody say theirs. One, two.

[Seth Meyers]

In the Line of Fire. Oh, wow.

[Andy Samberg]

I can't believe we're both Con Air.

[Seth Meyers]

Mine's in the Line of Fire. I love in the Line of Fire.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, in the Line of Fire. He's so fucking good.

[Andy Samberg]

I think of that in the Line of Fire scene all the time. Where he makes that little gun. Yeah, yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Basically it's 3D printing guns before 3D printers. He's like making it out of like a composite plasticky thing.

[Andy Samberg]

He's by a fishing hole or something. And people come over and ask him about it, and then he just kills them both.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, exactly. It's got those weird springs, that movie. I must have been at just. I was definitely the right age for it. Where, you know, I had never seen other assassin movies like the Day of the Jackal or anything. And so I was just watching it, having my mind blown by every element of it. And it's genuinely good and it's like weirdly funny. It has like real joke jokes in it. Like, do you remember there's a scene with Clint Eastwood and Renee Russo? It's the sex scene and the way it Introduces like, it's a tracking shot on the floor with their legs as they're making their way across the bedroom undressing. And it could literally be a naked gun joke. Their clothes are coming off and then guns are coming off, and then more guns and then more and then knives and, like, handcuffs. It's like a red because they're both cops. And so it's like the amount of gear that comes off on the way to the bedroom is genuinely a joke. Played as a joke.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And the movie's deadly serious.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, so, hey, we have some audio messages. Oh, why don't we hear some of those from Quader?

[Jorma Taccone]

Me.

[F]

Okay, guys, you won't remember me, but I just heard the Doritos story on the pod and then the follow up from James and flipped out because my brother and I were the ones at the super bowl with you who did win the USA Today AD meter that you mentioned and the million dollars or whatever. And after hearing your story, so many things stand explained. We were also told that we were going to go up against you guys in a kind of ad competition, just like you said, and we had no idea why that fell through. And I even made my own rap video, a frap, if you please. This whole digital short challenging you guys. It had vicious rhymes, a dash of playful pejoratives, and I was gonna drop it on YouTube just for laughs ahead of the Super Bowl. And then they just canceled the whole head to head battle thing, which I now finally know why. So I just gave it to you guys on, like, a flash drive at the game. And you were like, are you, like, trying to get Lorne Michaels to look at your shitty USB stick? And I was like, no, no, no, no. This is just for you guys. I basically remember my digital version of giving you something I crocheted. So then we won the AD meter, and we were like, this is the.

[Andy Samberg]

Best day of our lives.

[F]

And we're hanging out with Will Forte and the Lonely Island. And why aren't they, like, as psyched as we are that we just won a million Dorito dollars? And I just found out from the pod that the reason is that not only did they reject Yorms ad, but on top of it, it in your mind, we'd basically just stolen a million dollars from Jerry.

[Seth Meyers]

He's reading into it.

[F]

I just want to say I'm sorry, and if you want the money back, we blew it on Santana dvx. Okay. Anyway, I know it's unrequited, but I love you guys hanging out with you was one of the highlights of my creative life. Except you, Seth. But only because you weren't there.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay. Phew.

[F]

Love you.

[Seth Meyers]

Anyway, very nice.

[Andy Samberg]

What a great story. Thank you for sharing that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Amazing.

[Seth Meyers]

I remember hanging with them. Of course.

[Akiva Schaffer]

By the way, they didn't take the money from our charity.

[Seth Meyers]

No. Yeah, he's being generous. But nice to hear from you again. And it was a very memorable. We were at the Super Bowl. Of course we remember.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Also, a quick update. I don't know if you're here for this, Keev, to listen, because obviously we're very excited about this idea of how enthusiastic Doritos is to watch the ad.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

But I guess somebody from the year it actually happened who is retired, raced out of retirement to call and say, go watch it.

[Seth Meyers]

Is that true?

[Andy Samberg]

I think there's a little bit of. I think they went back in the records and, like, kind of found out that it was.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, he's like, no, they're not lying. Don't. Don't open it back up.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Wait, really?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. I mean, it struck me that somebody from legal at Doritos back then said, we watched it, it's abysmal. Do not engage with the Dorito commercial.

[Seth Meyers]

Right. That makes sense.

[Andy Samberg]

I think it's a little bit like somebody who, like, works in that, like, warehouse where they put the ark of the covenant.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Like a new guy working there being like, we should open up the old boxes. I think to them, the Doritos ad is the. Everyone's a critic painting.

[Seth Meyers]

Yes.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

That makes sense. Within the context of this podcast. It's a safe place. Right. So I understand why the current exec is like, oh, that'd be fun to discuss it. And people within the podcast, fast discussing is fun. But if it then catches on as a news story and then the thing is out there, then it is why they didn't want it airing in the first place. It's just happening now. And I get that.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, look, a quote from their email was the narrative, was the spot was offensively bad.

[Seth Meyers]

That's an interesting narrative.

[Andy Samberg]

That's more than a narrative.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Sounds like more of an opinion, an accusation.

[Andy Samberg]

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[Jorma Taccone]

Promo code island the Seth Meyers and Lonely island podcast is sponsored by ExpressVPN. Going online without ExpressVPN is like leaving your laptop unattended at a coffee shop while you run to the bathroom. Most of the time, yeah, you're probably gonna be fine. But what if that one day you come out of that bathroom and your laptop is g g g g gone?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

And that is why everyone needs a VPN every time you connect to an unencrypted network in CAFES, hotels, airports, etc. Your online data is not secure. Any hacker on the same network can gain access and steal your personal data, passwords, bank logins, credit card details, etc. It doesn't take much technical know how to hack someone. Just some cheap hardware is needed. A smart 12 year old could do it. And your data is valuable. Hackers can make up to a thousand. This is not an ad for hacking guys. But hackers can make up to $1,000 per person selling personal data on the dark web. ExpressVPN stops hackers from stealing your data by creating a secure encrypted digital tunnel between your device and the digital intranet. And why is ExpressVPN the best VPN? I'll tell you it would take. Guess how long a hacker with a super computer 8ft by 10ft. Over 1 billion years to get past ExpressVPN's encryption. It's easy to use. You fire up that app and you click one button and you're protected. Bing bong you guys. And that is why I choose ExpressVPN. And you ask why it is important for me to use Express vpn. All of the above. Everything I just said about the terror that lies in wait for you digitally. So secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com island island. That's expressvpn.come x p r e s s v p n.com island and you can get an extra four months free expressvpn.com island.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay, let's hear another.

[G]

Hi, my name is Kenzie and my question is, if and when you guys make your new album, would you think about having Seth on as, like, a feature? Because I know that he was in Natalie's rap and he was in Doppelganger. So, like, he's got the pipes because, I mean, Doppelganger isn't singing, but, like, he's still like, I can make words come out. Natalie's rap.

[Seth Meyers]

There's a musicality to it.

[G]

I feel like it would be really, like poetic to have Seth in a Lonely island album considering that he does the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast. Anyways, I just want to say that I am also from the Bay Area, so every time that you guys meet, make a niche reference. Know that my little 19 year old ass. I understand it. My parents raised me well, I get your references. And I also moved to Santa Cruz. So when you guys talk about UT Santa Cruz, I'm like, hey, I know that too. And I want to say that, Seth, I went to a taping of your show and you answered my question during the Q and A. So I feel like I have all these little, like, connections to you guys and I can see your footprints all over the Bay Area. Anyways, I love you guys a lot and I look up to you a lot and I really hope you all see this because I love y'all.

[Seth Meyers]

Bye.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Andy Samberg]

So lovely.

[Seth Meyers]

That's very nice. Nice to hear from you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thank you for that.

[Andy Samberg]

Even if they asked, I would not do a third digital short because I kind of like the way Kwato played it, which was just two and done.

[Seth Meyers]

It's the classy way.

[Andy Samberg]

Hey, I was reading through the YouTube comments about jizz in my Pants and they were all really nice and they're very creative. I think our listeners have a nice sense of humor. The last two I was a little curious about. I thought they might be bots. And I'm going to read you what they said and you tell me. First of all, the photos were incredibly beautiful women.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay?

[Andy Samberg]

Like headshot ladies. And the first one was continue to delight your viewers with interesting content. Your videos add variety to the online world.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, that sounds real. So nice of that beautiful woman.

[Andy Samberg]

And then the next beautiful woman said, thank you for this amazing compilation. I appreciate your time and efforts that you put into compiling this video. It's very inspiring.

[Seth Meyers]

It's worth some investigation, I guess, is my point.

[Andy Samberg]

I am a little worried by the complete lack of specifics.

[Seth Meyers]

Like a follow up comment might help, like, from us, like, wow, thanks. What was your favorite part? Something like that. That's what I mean by investigation.

[Andy Samberg]

I see.

[Seth Meyers]

I think we should engage.

[Andy Samberg]

I think you entered late, Keev. We were talking about the fact that this podcast got nominated for Webby. And I said, that's so cool. And then Andy said, is it? And then I said, yeah, that's not.

[Seth Meyers]

How you win Webbies, Andy. Go ahead.

[Andy Samberg]

And then I said, yeah. And then Andy scoffed and said, it's not an Oscar.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, that's true, I guess. Did you guys call on Quaid army weigh in. Get over to the webby dot com. Let's get those votes.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Hey, Quaid army, get us nominated for an Oscar. Flood the ballot.

[Andy Samberg]

Andy said it like he's bummed that this isn't Oscar nominated.

[Akiva Schaffer]

If Quaid army can get this pod nominated for an Oscar, I will shit it.

[Andy Samberg]

Sorry to keep making it about New York Times word games. Before we go to our next audio message, the clue to five cross in the Sunday March 30th New York Times crossroad puzzle was style of hip hop. The answer was four letters long. I solved the last three letters, R, A, P, and was praying, praying that the first letter was F as in fra. But it ended up being trap.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It was trap.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, let's hear another audio message. Hi, my name is Alicia.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm in Michigan. I saw you guys perform June 2019.

[Andy Samberg]

In Detroit, and you guys had said to meet you at the metro PCs by the Pontiac Silver Dome.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm still here.

[Andy Samberg]

I guess I was just wondering what.

[G]

Your ETA is or if you're on.

[Jorma Taccone]

Your way, if you're okay.

[Andy Samberg]

That's all. Love you guys so much. Can't wait to see you soon. What was. I remember that. What was the joke?

[Akiva Schaffer]

It was like a, you know, tour joke where every show we would choose a local place that seemed kind of whatever and really, really squarely say, if anyone wants to fuck us, we will be at. And we put up the address on a big screen at the end.

[Seth Meyers]

It was a reoccurring bit. Like, even after Lazy Sunday, when we had Parnell there, Parnell would be like, oh, thanks for having me, fellas. And if anybody here would like to fuck. And it was always verbatim it had to be the exact same. There was a paragraph. Wants to fuck me, I'll be. Blah, blah, blah. Bad bitches only. Thank you.

[Andy Samberg]

So it was the Metro, the Metro PCs store by the Pontiac Silver Doll.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, that was that one.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And it always. The Just two guys. Guys would do it, like, after their whole. Like, we like sports. And they go, thank you. If anybody wants to us, we'll be at. And every. So come multiple times in the show, it'd be on the screen. And then if you went. We always had one of our roadie pas. We basically made a T shirt that said, I went to the Lonely island at Blank Blank Blank Blank. And it had blank spaces. And we would personally in Sharpie, write in, like, the key information, like Pontiac, you know, Metro PCs, Pontiac Superdome. The date. And if you went there, you should have been met with a random person with a big box of T shirts to give you.

[Andy Samberg]

And what was a. I mean, hard to remember. What was the average amount of people that would show up there?

[Seth Meyers]

I don't know. But there was always a crowd. There was definitely a crowd.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It varied. I think when we did Bonnaroo, I was told that quite a few people went to the spot because it was like.

[Seth Meyers]

Because they were there. Yeah, yeah, we were. We were like, by the hot dog stand in this thing and this. Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And I remember thinking how cool that was.

[Seth Meyers]

But there'd always be. There'd be a group. We'd get a photo from somebody being like, look at all these people.

[Andy Samberg]

It's very sweet of you to do that. Somebody said this was a story about grease and palms at the Lonely Island Show.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Ooh. Oh, you have my attention.

[Andy Samberg]

My best friend JP and I wanted to share a story about going to the Lonely island show in 2019. We got tickets to see y'all in D.C. for my birthday. Show was incredible. Keef came out clearly exhausted, took photos for us. They attached the photos, Keith, to verify that you were nice enough to take pictures of them.

[Seth Meyers]

Let's see it. Yeah, there we are.

[Andy Samberg]

And afterwards, we got chatting with your roadie, who was an absolute delight, can't remember his name, sadly. And slipped him some cash. Palm greasing to get our poster signed by Yorman and Andy. Honestly, it was just enough cash for him to ship our posters back to us, which he did.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, I see.

[Andy Samberg]

So that's pretty amazing. But, like, to give a roadie money and be like, can you get these signed? And also the money is for you to ship them to us.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's Very nice of.

[Seth Meyers]

Here's some for you.

[Andy Samberg]

And then to have the roadie do it.

[Seth Meyers]

That's nice that he did it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Very nice of whoever on our did that.

[Andy Samberg]

That's what I mean.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

You obviously had a good staff. Somebody also wrote, I work part time at the National Portrait gallery in Washington D.C. do you know where this is going?

[Akiva Schaffer]

No.

[Andy Samberg]

I work part time at the National Portrait gallery in Washington D.C. currently. And ever since watching Ross Trent, I cannot stop muttering to myself, me toil part time at job Portrait Gallery.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You thought we were going to predict that?

[Andy Samberg]

I mean, well, I thought part time and the fact that Port Gallery had the same amount of syllables as stone.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Cold part time, part time.

[Andy Samberg]

Look, it was a big ask, especially considering like 5 minutes ago I was like, do you remember being in a hot tub with John Malovich?

[Akiva Schaffer]

And you're like, no, look, no one ever said I was a ym. You know what I mean? Completely locked in and on my game.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Like incredible recollection. I mean, Y's recollection so much when you're like, why do you have that vest? He's like, in fourth grade, I was walking down the street, like, just crazy, crazy recall.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yep.

[Andy Samberg]

When I say crazy recall, what does it make you think?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Think of definitely Quado.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

So at least that we're on the same page there for sure. Can we now? I also, again, I know we've talked about Quado, but I just made the mistake of rewatching again today. It's so funny that like it's only one. Jamie Presley is the only one who's like new to Quado and everybody else has seen Quad before.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

And she's like, why did. Why does he keep calling everybody Quaid? And Snake is. Oh, that was Arnold Schwarzenegger's character's name in Total Recall.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, yeah, we had to explain it.

[Andy Samberg]

It's like very matter of fact.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Cuz he told us probably that we had to put in a bunch of information cuz no one had seen the movie in a long time or at all.

[Andy Samberg]

Let's hear another voice note.

[G]

Hey, you guys. So I was wondering, there's this really old video on YouTube from 2007's ComicCon where Andy said you'd consider finishing the boo when you're like 50. And I want to know if that's still on the table because I would actually really love to see that. And also, thank you so, so much for the digital shorts and the pod. I just love how silly they are. They make me laugh so hard. And they help me, and I'm sure many others deal with all the craziness in the world right now. So, yeah. Greetings from Germany. All the best. Bye.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thanks, man. Everyone's so nice. Very affirming.

[Andy Samberg]

Right until Greetings from Germany. I had a real hope. That was Bjork.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Seth Meyers]

So greetings from Iceland by Bjork. Bjork out.

[Andy Samberg]

Also, this is Bjork. This whole time has been Bjork.

[Seth Meyers]

I thought it was Danish. I'll be honest.

[Andy Samberg]

The accent, I'll tell you, it's not really important where it's from, because it was from the heart.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, that's nice.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Damn, I love that, Seth. I love that.

[Seth Meyers]

So that's what a German speaking English sounds like. It didn't sound like Jizz my pants.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Is that what jizz my pants sounds like? Commenter.

[Andy Samberg]

You're right. That disproves.

[Seth Meyers]

But it's just where she studied. She might have studied in Copenhagen.

[Andy Samberg]

But what about this? Boo at 50.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Boo at 50. Do we want to commit?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, I guess. Let's commit.

[Akiva Schaffer]

All right, we have to run it by Yorm.

[Seth Meyers]

It'll start with that voice note. The first. First thing would be us listening to that voice and then going, oh, shit, the clock's ticking.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, what is our next voice note?

[G]

Hey, guys, Claire from old foggy Southampton town here, longtime listener of the podcast. As a Brit, we didn't grow up on Saturday Night Live, so I'm loving having an education on what I hear is a and golden era of comedy.

[Andy Samberg]

Correct.

[G]

So my question is, we all know that Japan is the video or short that you would love to create.

[Andy Samberg]

Great.

[G]

But if you had a bigger and better budget, is there any video or short that you would love to redo? Oh, anyways, off now to listen to Sushi gory ho for the 400th time.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Bye, guys.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, really nice question.

[Seth Meyers]

I like, I like, I like these international listeners.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, Keev.

[Seth Meyers]

God. Yeah. I really would have to think for a second. Is there one that we would redo? I don't actually want to redo like a Boss because it is what it is and it was very well received and we're very happy with it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But at the time, it is on those old cameras.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. And I guess we haven't gotten to it yet, but it was this weird in between where we had made things like Jizz in my pants that looked all fancy and new and 24 frames per second on the right kind of camera. And then like a boss, we were like, nah, we'll do it the old way, but it actually kind of became almost the new way. Like, we spent more money and we had more setups, but it still looked funky in that weird old way. So it was neither here nor there a little bit. And then I remember once I saw the budget for it, I was like, for that amount of money, we could have just done it the right way.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Right.

[Seth Meyers]

And so that at the time, I was, like, annoyed. I thought, we could have done it better.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. There's an extra. Extra layer of, like, video that felt slightly less slick about it.

[Seth Meyers]

Exactly. And I don't. And as everyone knows, I like that stuff when it's intentional and you lean in. But it was not intentional.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It wasn't. But I also sort of feel like it worked for it because it's making fun of office culture in a way. And that would look a little more stale in that low rent in that way. So. So there's probably more that are not song videos that I would be like, oh, people actually like that one more than I was expecting. I wish we would have shot at.

[Andy Samberg]

A better location, like Lobster Claw.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, but like, at the. There's so many we did at the Flat Hotel. Like, again, we wouldn't want to change it because it is what it is and that makes it what it is. But like, dear sister, I'm like, we could have shot that on really cool sets or in a really.

[Andy Samberg]

Right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know what I mean?

[Andy Samberg]

But the response proves that that would not have mattered.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It wouldn't have mattered and maybe would have made it worse. Who knows?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. But again, I thought that was a very good question.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Bag.

[Andy Samberg]

Also, I just got a text from Yoram. People are laying into him over the vest. He says the dinner's going super bad.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I wish that was true. So bad.

[Andy Samberg]

He's like, there's all these writers and they're coming up with, like, really witty ways to tell me my vest sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Should never have left the pot early.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, man. Can he text any of the specific burns?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, I don't know, man. I still got to queue up these. Yeah, let me. I'll ask him for some of the specific burns and then just marinate on it. Seth. Okay, let's hear another voice note.

[Seth Meyers]

Hey, fellas. I hope you're all well. I'm Jeff from Illinois. In June 2008, SNL aired the best of Mike Myers to help him promote the Love Guru. In between his old sketches, there were new fun little bits Mike recorded with the then current cast that introed his old work. There was one bit where Mike Myers sees Seth crying and asks Amy Poehler why. She says he heard the show was airing the Best of a Myers tonight and assumed it was him, but got sad when he realized the truth. After a beat, Mike asks, is he an idiot? And Seth starts to break. I found this so damn funny that it's been rattling around in my head for almost 17 years now. So my question is, can you please post this on the Instagram? I've searched high and low for it, but it seems to be impossible to find unless I assume you have access to that SNL server.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You all do.

[Seth Meyers]

Thanks for listening and have a nice day.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Love it.

[Andy Samberg]

I don't. I know. I mean, I will say, I remember we did those wraparounds for the Best of Mike Myers the week after the season finale. And so it was a weird extra week in the office because I wrote on that as well, but it felt like floating because it was so much easier, obviously, than working on an SNL just writing wraparounds and, like, my means. And continues to mean a great deal to me. So that was very. But I have no memory of that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I remember us doing a Wayne's World one. Maybe Bill and I were somehow involved in it.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But all I know is that the set was, like, built, and me and Bill just stood in front of it and were just like, whoa, it's the fucking basement. Like, just had meant so, so much to me growing up.

[Seth Meyers]

And we can look into finding the clip and seeing if it's okay with people to. To. To. Let's take a look at it. We'll take a look.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Somebody told. As soon. I guess YM said. As soon as he walked in, somebody said, I think you should sleeve. And then somebody else said, I hope they rip up the Constitution because this guy doesn't have the right to bear arms.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Jesus. These are great.

[Seth Meyers]

Really good.

[Andy Samberg]

I mean, they're writers, you know, so he's obviously.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, these are. These must be, like, WGA nominated.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, there we go.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Yeah. No, he did Minority Report and then Queen's Gambit and moved right onto this.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, I know. By the way, the fact that Yorm dropped Scott Frank's name, who we all know. And he's an incredible.

[Seth Meyers]

I've never met him.

[Andy Samberg]

Screenwriter. You've never met him. Scott's wonderful. Scott did Queen's Gambit.

[Seth Meyers]

I know. Well, you know, Jorma's wife Mari is in it. Yeah, she's the mom in Queen's Gambit.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, let's hear another voice Note. Hello, gentlemen. I'm calling to ask if you all have had. And this is gonna sound a little bitchy, and I apologize for that, but to ask if you had any formal vocal training, perhaps maybe when you realized that you were hitting the big leagues and to roll with the big dogs, maybe you needed some vocal training. I don't know. I asked because at the Ross Trent episode, your voices were smooth like butter. So I was wondering if. If perhaps that was due to some extensive training or just the gifts that God gave you. Thanks for everything.

[Seth Meyers]

Just. Just. Just talking about. Just talking about Ross Trent. Our voices were smooth like butter.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thanks for the question. I don't think there's anything bitchy about it. No. Formal training is the short answer.

[Seth Meyers]

I remember right before we went on tour, we were like, is there stuff we're supposed to, like, know so we don't lose our voice before, like, between shows and stuff. Stuff.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

And we had one time where this woman, I forget her name, but who's very well known in those circles as a vocal coach, just came to the rehearsal space and kind of spent 20 minutes with each of us just kind of confirming that we weren't going to blow our voices out. And I remember one thing she said is, like, if you're worried about, like, losing your breath and stuff, why don't you get on, like, your elliptical machine or treadmill or whatever you have at home and just try, basically, speed walking while you do all your songs to your phone, basically, and see if you can not lose your voice while you're doing stuff like that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's for live performance. I didn't remember that. That's great advice.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I thought it was also just, like, making sure we didn't get vocal nodes, that we were warming up our sweet baches before screaming for an hour straight.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. And I don't. Did we do it a little bit backstage?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I think we barely did it.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, we were too busy in the bathroom. You know what I mean?

[Andy Samberg]

Mean.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Whoa. Same.

[Seth Meyers]

Hey.

[Andy Samberg]

Let'S hear one more. Oh, I guess somebody said, howdy, Sheriff to Yorm.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And then he said, how come they said that?

[Andy Samberg]

He goes, why are you calling me sheriff? And it was like, oh, because. I don't know. I just assumed it was an old west. Because you're wearing a vest.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, that's.

[Andy Samberg]

That one's not. That one's not.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That was clever, but certainly cutting.

[Seth Meyers]

It was the guy that wrote the Brutalist. It was said, oh, howdy, Sheriff.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, let's hear another one. Hi.

[Jorma Taccone]

I Just wanted to thank you guys for getting me through some hard times.

[Andy Samberg]

These past few years. A few years back, I was in a public restroom. There was a hole in the wall, and I started eating strange sushi out of it. Okay. Yeah.

[G]

So awful afterwards actually got really sick.

[Seth Meyers]

And, you know, a few months back.

[Jorma Taccone]

Sushi glory hole came out and I realized I wasn't alone.

[Andy Samberg]

This happens to a lot of people.

[Jorma Taccone]

And I should not hide my shame.

[Andy Samberg]

Thank you so much.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, my God, she went to a knockoff. Obviously ours was. Was only highest. Yeah. Grade fish.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Not going to lie. That person just had me. I was completely like, oh, no. Oh, man, this is going to be a tough one. And then I was like, h, we're being with. And I like it.

[Andy Samberg]

It's kind of nice. Yeah, it's kind of nice. Cuz like, everybody when they're like, it's been a rough couple years, I think we're all like, amen.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Been there.

[Andy Samberg]

Like, oh, this is good right there with.

[Akiva Schaffer]

With you. That was wonderful. And you're very welcome for putting out Sushi glory hole and. And helping.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, I think maybe we have time for one more.

[Akiva Schaffer]

By the way, I have a thing before that.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah, let's go.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I have a thing that I remembered after we did the last one when we were talking about the British voices on a song we had made before snl.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, the Jimmy Jam. This Jimmy Jamie.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But it wasn't. It wasn't the shoes off in the spaceship ke. It was Everybody dance.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, everybody dance.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, everybody dance. And it was like yor just going screaming. But it was basically like a precursor to go kindergarten of like, demanding everyone dance. But it was. It was kind of less focused, I would say.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And those were the voices we were doing. And that was Yoram doing time to slam. Bam. It's a Jimmy Jam.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, I do remember that. I wonder if we have those. I wonder if I'd look in my itunes if I'd find things like that.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, by the way, I got a letter in the mail. And the letter was from the outside of the envelope said it was from Virginia Horson's Pony Express. And it's. If you can see it, it's like cut out, like, ransom note style.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

And it says, put Virginia Horison and Criterion or else. Oh, my God. All right, we're gonna play now our friend Mike Schur, you remember him from the Criterion episode collection. He recorded a voice note, and I think his idea was we should just get a lot of people to watch Space Olympics. For the first time and then just immediately record their reaction to it.

[E]

Hey, guys, it's Mike Shore here with the weekly listener opinion on Space Olympics that you asked for. I love Space Olympics.

[Seth Meyers]

We did not.

[Andy Samberg]

We did not ask.

[E]

Like Phil Lord after he saw it for the first time eight days ago. I can say it is absolutely one of my all time favorites. It has two of my favorite tropes. First, intensely passionate singing about something incredibly mundane, like belting out super serious details of the logistics of the Space Olympics is wonderful. My favorite moment, of course, being and all other events are pending. Like, that's as boring a lyric as you could possibly write. And singing it with that terrible autotune crescendo a the second trope. I love the impossible situation of a person singing about things that are happening in real time. Not to jump ahead, but Jack Sparrow has this too, which is that, like, somehow the lyric in the finished song, for which there is a video is Michael Bolton. I'm gonna need you to focus up. Like, how do we both exist in the reality where the guys are angry at Michael Bolton for what he's doing, but also have made and completed this song and video. You get why it's funny. You guys made it. Anyway, Space Olympics has that too. Somehow Andy is singing that all the oxygen has run out. Like, is this being broadcast live to the athletes?

[Jorma Taccone]

I guess.

[E]

Is that the situation? Like, how does this work anyway? It's fantastic. Yeah, he's wonderfully stupid and hilarious. It takes a full minute to even establish what the premise is, which I appreciate. And for the record, I certainly do not agree with Akiva that Space Olympics is, and I quote, the single worst thing we've ever done. Nor is it, and I quote, again, Andy's worst idea. And also I quote Akiva saying it makes Battlefield Earth look like freaking Shakespeare.

[Jorma Taccone]

Those are all words.

[E]

Play the tape. That's what he said. I don't agree with any of that. I think it's wonderful. Anyway, love you guys.

[Jorma Taccone]

Bye.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thanks, Mike.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, thanks, Mike.

[Andy Samberg]

I hate to wrap this up. I just got a text from Yoram. I guess this group pinned him down, cut off his pant legs, and then hot hot glue gunned it to his vet. And so I, I. There's an abrupt ending. We'll be back. Next. Cookies. I have no memory of cookies. Looking forward to watching that from the Hugh Laurie show.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Uhhuh.

[Andy Samberg]

And then we're going to probably roll it up with Neil Patrick Harris. Doogie Howser theme.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That seems like a nice pairing.

[Andy Samberg]

I love you guys.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Love you, Seth.

[Seth Meyers]

Love you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Quado in the house.