Listener Q&A Episode 7

Summary

The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast

Listener Q&A Episode 7 – September 16, 2025

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Overview

This special Listener Q&A episode features Seth Meyers in conversation with The Lonely Island's Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone (Andy Samberg is absent this week). The group fields questions submitted by fans via Reddit and Speakpipe, shares behind-the-scenes stories from SNL Digital Shorts, reflects on podcast inside jokes and fan culture, and gives health and recovery updates. The tone is loose, playful, and introspective, with plenty of the group’s signature banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jorma's Health & Hospital Recovery

• Jorma shares updates on his hospital stay and recovery following his much-discussed accident (“shattered my body”) ([02:01]).
  • His focus on remembering hospital staff names has led to improvements in his short-term memory.
  • The accidental fame around his injury:
    Jorma: "It was a real weird thing for me to go from, like, oh, God, like, I just want to get better, to, like, I wonder if anyone wrote about me today." ([05:21])
  • Discussion about fans sending gifts and the logistics—and miscommunications—of receiving them in the hospital rather than at home. ([04:04])

2. Fan & Reddit Interactions / P.O. Box Gifts

• The crew discusses the “Quaid Army” fan community and the outpouring of support after Jorma’s accident, including notable fan art and creative PO box submissions. ([04:04-05:15])
• Charity suggestions from fans as a way to support Jorma, including ladder-related charities as a tongue-in-cheek nod to his accident. ([06:21])

3. Soundtrack & SNL Digital Short Production

• The story behind their use of library music (“corporate video” vibes), e.g., the "Megatrax" CD libraries and "Web Clip Empire":
  • Akiva: “We just left it. It made us giggle because it’s so bad.” ([08:46])
  • Jorma: “Without failing, you throw a dart anywhere on those CDs, fucking incredible.” ([10:06])

4. Fred Armisen’s Sound Effects Album

• Introduction of Fred Armisen’s new album: 100 Sound Effects, featuring hilarious track titles (“Needle on record”, “Guitar tuned but still somehow out of tune”).
  • Seth: “No one has made more consistently funny, small observations in his career than Fred Armisen.” ([12:07])
  • Includes reminiscences about Armisen’s memorable SNL performances and bits. ([12:07-12:49])

5. Behind-the-scenes Technical Mishaps

• Akiva recounts his struggle with a degraded voice note on the previous podcast episode, which led to speculation about podcast editing humor and technology woes.
  • Akiva (mock dramatic): “I can truly think of nothing worse... than having done something correctly... and then having the rug pulled out.” ([13:52])
  • Blame is gently volleyed between the tech, the editor, Portland’s infrastructure, and group chat technology. ([14:09])

6. Listener Mailbag & Q&A

• The group reviews fan comments and Q&A submissions from Reddit, YouTube, and Speakpipe:
  • Merch requests ("Quaid Army" shirts, "broke ass motherfucker" shirts—promptly rejected by Jorma (“No, I wouldn’t make that fucking shirt. That seems low to me. I would never do that.” ([25:22])))
  • SNL cast rumors and fan theories
  • The history and meaning behind inside jokes (e.g., “Quaid Army”, Total Recall references) ([22:24-23:52])
  • Jorma’s vest debate, old SNL sketches, and even SNL cast member dog aesthetics ([17:47-19:01])

7. Fan Audio Questions & Stories (Speakpipe)

Musical Adaptations:

• Fan asks which Lonely Island album should become a Mamma Mia-style musical:
  • Jorma: “I would actually love us to write a real musical, like, just start from scratch.” ([33:01])
  • Group discusses the difference between "jukebox" musicals and narrative originals, referencing Book of Mormon and Hamilton’s influence.

Laser Cats & SNL Cat Stories:

• Edie, a third grader, asks about the cats in Laser Cats and what happened to the stuffed animal cats:
  • Jorma: “Laser Cats was partially in my mind, based on me holding up our cat... picking up Willy and cocking him like a shotgun…” ([39:59])
  • Animal wrangling stories—including how cats “can’t really be trained" and Lorne Michaels’ weakness for adopting set animals ([41:41])
  • Hilarious anecdote about Elton John filming for SNL, telling a purring joke (“This is more pussy than I’ve ever seen in my life.”) ([42:27])

Wedding Song Selection:

• Groom asks what Lonely Island song to play at his wedding:
  • After much laughter and inappropriate suggestions (“I Just Had Sex,” “I’m on a Boat”),
    Consensus: “I’m On a Boat” is their top pick, followed by clever thematic suggestions. ([47:10-51:03])

Booth Jonathan/Girls Character Romance:

• A listener (a lesbian with partner & baby) shares her “romantic, not sexual” dreams about Jorma’s Girls character, Booth Jonathan.
  • “I think like, you wake up, you’re like, oh my God, I’m a lesbian. Like... that was the dream that kind of shook it loose.” (Seth, [53:05])

Moving Dog Listener Story:

• Maura shares a touching audio story about mourning her own dog, Walter, and finding catharsis in a past episode’s absurdity involving Seth and Andy discussing Frisbee’s bones:
  • “My hysterical tears turned into audible laughter as Seth imagined asking his vet for Frisbee’s bones mid procedure.” ([55:51])
  • The group is sincerely moved and chooses this as the emotional note to end on.

Notable Quotes:

• Jorma, on hospital recovery: “It became this weird... why is my ego involved now in my... the fact that I shattered my body.” ([05:42])
• Akiva, on library music: “Every moment of it’s a gold mine.” ([10:13])
• Seth, on Fred Armisen: “No one has made more consistently funny, small observations in his career than Fred Armisen.” ([12:07])
• Maura (listener): “Now, almost eight months without Walter, I tear up regularly and can pull myself out of it by thinking, ‘how will you get the bones?’” ([55:51])

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Additional Memorable Moments

• Inside Merch Jokes: Jorma offers to design custom fan shirts while he’s bedridden in the hospital (“I got nothing but time.” [26:00])
• eBay Gags: Discovery of Jorma’s “Shaka Teeth #3” prosthetics for sale—discussion of how they could be used for identity theft or to fake his own death. ([26:47])
• "Eagle-Eared Cherry": The team references their inside term for ultra-observant fans, speculating on who invented it. ([17:15])
• Speakpipe Introduction: Walkthrough of how to send in voice questions and observations about fan engagement growing the show’s mythology. ([30:47])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Jorma's Hospital Life & Fan Gifts: [02:01] – [05:49]
• Music Library & SNL Soundtrack Discussion: [08:46] – [10:28]
• Fred Armisen’s Album & Observational Comedy: [10:35] – [12:49]
• Technical Mishaps with Akiva's Voice Note: [13:07] – [14:42]
• Fan Charity, Etiquette, and Quaid Army Lore: [21:06] – [23:40]
• Fan Merch & Shirt Design Requests: [25:30] – [26:27]
• Shaka Teeth Auction & Crime Scene Banter: [26:47] – [29:30]
• Laser Cats Behind-the-Scenes & Lorne Adopting Cats: [39:59] – [42:28]
• Wedding Song Q&A: [47:04] – [51:03]
• Listener Emotional Story (Maura): [55:51] – [56:37]

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Tone & Style

The episode is conversational, occasionally absurd, deeply self-referential, and regularly heartfelt—especially in moments of listener interaction and reflection on the power of comedy to provide comfort. The Q&A format and live listener engagement offers an open, communal feel, with a direct window into the Lonely Island & Seth’s unique creative chemistry.

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Summary

This Q&A episode showcases the enduring bond between The Lonely Island, Seth, and their passionate fanbase, weaving together spirited pop culture banter, behind-the-scenes insights, and genuine emotional connection. Even with Andy Samberg’s absence, the show manages to deliver laughs, nostalgia, and community—a reminder that, in their world, even internet in-jokes and hospital stories can become comforting touchstones.

Transcript

[A]

Support comes from Tropical Smoothie Cafe. Hey, everybody. Just Seth, the other guys are out getting some tropical smoothies at the Tropical Smoothie Cafe. They wanted a little escape in the middle of their day. They wanted to go grab a smoothie that's classic Andy, a bowl that's classic Keev, or a wrap that's classic Yorm. And for a few minutes, it feels like a little wellness retreat for your taste buds. And that's what the three of them call each other, the taste buds. And for the smoothie people out there, Big news. Tropic Fan Fest is back at Tropical smoothie Cafe from September 15th through the 21st. You guys, one of the things they always tell me when they're like, hey, we're heading out. And I'm like, can I come? And they're like, nope, it's just the taste buds. And I'm like, where are you going? And they say, we're going to the Tropical Smoothie Cafe because in the middle of the day, we just need a reset. And you know, when we sneak in to the old Tropical Smoothie Cafe, it feels like a little. Like we got a little vacation in. And God knows the three of them deserve another vacation. The menu stack too. Try the fan favorite Bahama Mama smoothie, the Acai bowl with Nutella topped with fresh fruit, or the Caribbean jerk chicken wrap. And by the way, that's what I think they are for, not inviting me. Bunch of jerk chicken wraps, you guys. Visit tropicalsmoothicafe.com to find a cafe near you. Terms and conditions apply. Don't miss the free smoothie party at Tropical smoothie Cafe from September 15th to 21st. Download our app and join Tropic Rewards to get in on the Tropic Fan Fest. Fun. Terms and conditions apply. It's the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Seth Meyers Lonely island podcast. Andy's not with us today and we texted about it a lot and Yorm just mentioned that he was surprised by this news. And I feel like we're in this weird place right now, whereas Yoram is in recovery and so I don't want to be too hard on him. And I'm like, oh, maybe that just went in one ear and out the other. But then that was a. That was a previous thing that was happening too. So I kind of don't want to blame the latter for this, you know what I'm saying? Yarn.

[B]

I know you're talking about have the drugs.

[C]

How has it affected your short term and long term memory?

[B]

You Think, oh, well, short term memory, I think is definitely better because my name. I feel like my name recognition and retention is better because I'm meeting so many nurses and like PAs, which I think stands for physician's assistant, and like doctors and residents and all these people who come in. And I'm making a real point about it to like try to remember people's names. And I think it's better. I feel like a real Kato Kalin. And Kevin knows that reference, but nobody else will. But we met Kato Kaelin once and he was super good at remembering people's names.

[A]

I was going to say. I hope you weren't saying that you were impressed you remembered his name. Because I'm kind of like, that's like one of the easiest ones to remember.

[B]

I did remember his name. I was particularly proud of myself for remembering his name.

[A]

I would have thought you're certainly on one of your sets that you would be a complete name junkie named Jockey. I would think you'd be on top of it.

[B]

Because you think of me as like a social butterfly.

[A]

No, I think of you as just like a good leader on set who would know everybody's name and would make a real effort. So I'm surprised to hear this is any different in the hospital because this is something that I would always think you'd be good at.

[B]

I think my focus is better here. I feel like on set because I'm thinking about 20 different things. It's harder because then you're just. People are ping ponging up to you saying names and then like with a decision of like, which color red or blue. And so, like, I feel like it's a little harder. Whereas all I'm doing is either being in pain, lying down, making a Lego Home Alone set. You know, I mean, like, it's a lot easier for me to focus on like, what's your name? Like, it's like. And it's also exciting because anybody who comes in here, I'm like, oh, God, what's your name? Do you want to hang out?

[C]

You're desperate for the interaction, right?

[A]

You're not like, you're not like a day and a half behind schedule at a movie. You're just like a dude who's like, yes. I'm like.

[B]

I'm like, hey, what's your name? What kind of music do you listen to? You want to like, play some jams real quick? No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

The Home Alone Second. Wait.

[B]

By the way, everyone, very impressed with my Lego. It's almost done.

[A]

We have it we did it a couple.

[B]

Okay, you're up on game.

[A]

You know, it's really impressive, but you.

[C]

Could take a photo and put it in the show notes.

[A]

There's a lot to put in the show notes. Now, Keev, you know we set up a P.O. box for yorm.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[B]

And I didn't know that.

[A]

It was a huge bounty.

[B]

Really.

[A]

Two bags full of gifts. And I offered to Yoram, do you want me to open them here in my office and we could just send pics to you?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And Yoram is like, nah, man, send them over. And I think it's safe to say certainly. You know, I was talking with Mari beforehand. She might be a little worried about what Quaid army has sent over to your home.

[B]

Well, here's the thing. When I said send him over, what I meant was, send him over to me at the hospital.

[A]

Sure, sure, sure.

[B]

So I. There was a little miscommunication there. Yeah. Mari was a little bit, like, miffed at what she was receiving.

[A]

Totally, totally, totally, totally get it now.

[C]

But wait, have they been opened? Are we doing some unboxing?

[B]

No, I think. I think that maybe is for next. Next show. I'll bring some highlights for next year.

[A]

Yeah, we got to get him over to the hospital so Yoram can start going through them. I would imagine. Keef, based on everything we know about Yoram, I think he's going to be super psyched about sort of homemade fan art in the get well soon sphere.

[C]

Yes. My mind immediately went to that. People made baked goods, which is a bummer because you don't want to eat them because you don't know what's in them.

[A]

I don't think anybody PO Boxes a baked good. I think we're going to have a lot of.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I think it's going to be, like, fan art stuff.

[B]

By the way, I. I couldn't believe how big of a story it became off of us just talking about on the podcast. Like, it. Like, it was a real. It was a real weird thing for me to go from, like, oh, God, like, I just want to get better, to, like, I wonder if anyone wrote about me today. Like, it's like a really funny.

[A]

That became your. Your painkilling drug.

[B]

No, it became this weird. Like, I was like, why is my ego involved now in my. The fact that I shattered my body.

[C]

Does anyone care? I'm hurt. Seth. Seth. You and your brother look similar, obviously, but I never really think about it. There's something about the shape of the hat you're wearing today.

[A]

It's very Josh.

[B]

It joshifies you.

[C]

That is Josh. Where there's been a few moments where you've turned your head and I've been like, oh, I would just think I'm looking at Josh right now.

[A]

And the glasses, because Josh wears. I'm sort of second to glasses in the Myers boys family. And so glasses and hat is a real. It could be Josh.

[B]

I gotta say that those glasses, those are nice in your face, buddy. Those are good frames.

[A]

The Redditors really have been in fine form. They put a link to a bunch of actual charities that had ladder in the name because they thought that might be a nice way to honor. So we'll get those in the show. Note Damian's ladder which does home repairs for seniors, disabled people. Ladder up financial resources.

[C]

This is where to donate in yhorm's honor. Yeah.

[A]

If you want to donate to honor yorm, you know, there's a lot of different charities.

[B]

I feel weird about that because that feels like it's like in support of ladders.

[A]

Well, that's obviously I think what they're trying to say, but I will tell you none of these are pro ladder charities.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, gotcha.

[C]

Someone should have been supporting that ladder. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[A]

Good one.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

That's. I. Kudos. I can't. No notes on that comment.

[A]

I'm just going through. I'm just scrolling through the Reddit page real quick. And by the way, one Redditor was like oh, they read this. So I think they didn't.

[C]

I honestly, I agree with that Redditor. I think that the Quaid's need a private space.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

To talk if they feel like it because they know it's coming from, I'm assuming a place of love. Otherwise you wouldn't spend time with us on this pod. But not to think they're going to get audited by sad. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I feel like that is fair.

[A]

I by the way, I'm not gonna audit and I will say, you know, we love, we love a well crafted burn but Ann Arbor, there's a brewery that has a Quaid army ipa. So that's really exciting.

[C]

Ooh, I want to see that.

[B]

That's fantastic.

[C]

Do you have a link? Can you share screen on that or do you.

[A]

It's just a photo of the sign outside that's selling it. I just want to share real quick to show you this. Can you guys see that?

[C]

Oh, oh, it's Andy.

[A]

That's Frisberg. Somebody did basically a mashup of Frisbee and Sandberg.

[C]

They did a really. A pretty good job.

[A]

Yeah, it's really good.

[C]

So we're gonna be Myself. Yeah. Cause that's what Frisber.

[A]

We had a lot. I will say we're gonna get to some lovely Q and A stuff. A lot of comments today. Without Andy. We didn't feel like we could move on to Two worlds collide. Somebody did ask, which I just think is a helpful question about how you always approach these Keef. But in get out the music Underneath, someone said, why does this music sound like a corporate video? But it is. Like, that's sort of just sort of library music, right?

[C]

Yeah, it's just crappy library music. And I don't know why we. I have a feeling we were so rushed. We, like, found the first one that worked. It made us giggle because it's so bad. And we just left it. Yeah, that's my guess.

[B]

But let's actually talk about this cube because we used it for years. And even if this wasn't actually from this. Talk about where you got the CDs called Web Clip Empire. Like, where did those actually.

[C]

Well, we've mentioned them a bunch of times. This one, though, I don't think was from that. This one sounds more like. God, I'm blanking the name. But there were Those library of CDs that we used a lot. Like, it's the music from MacGruber. All the MacGruber sketches use it.

[B]

It's Megatrax, right?

[C]

Megatrax.

[B]

I think that's Mega Tracks.

[C]

Yeah. And so this sounds more like a Megatrax to me, where we would license it. But there was this weird cd. We might have talked about this really early on, but we didn't talk about.

[B]

Your dad giving it to you.

[C]

Yeah, my dad got sent it for some reason because he worked in computers. And it was just for people building websites in the beginning of the Internet, where that was a thing where the amount of, like, megabytes or kilobytes that it had to take up was so little that this CD could have thousands of songs because they're so low quality and small. And thousands of those really wax sound effects, like blings Bloons, like the things that made up the very beginning of the Internet. And we realized there were thousands of things and you could just look through these folders and they would be like business songs, and they would be like spa songs.

[B]

But by the way, like, without failing, you throw a dart anywhere on those CDs, fucking incredible.

[C]

Yes. Every moment of it's a gold mine.

[B]

But like, those CDs were like fucking saxophone.

[C]

So like, body fusion. That's the music. And body fusion. That's the music. Anything where it was dinky and crappy the entire time we were at snl, those were what we were using.

[B]

And you actually notice how low quality they are. Like, when you really listen to them, you're like, oh, they break up. They're like. They're fucking terrible.

[C]

Yeah, that's part of the joy.

[A]

Do you guys. I feel like this is a nice transition to the fact that our friend Fred Armisen has an album coming out this month called 100 Sound Effects.

[C]

Did you know that? I did, but I haven't.

[A]

These are just. Some of. These are just some of the tracks. And by the way, like Fred said, like, I think Fred was the kind of kid who like. Like that back in the day, there were albums that were just like sound effects.

[B]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[A]

These are. These are. These are some of the sound effects. Needle on record, drum sound check at medium sized venue. Guitar tuned but still somehow out of tune.

[C]

Does he talk on the tracks too? Like, here's the sound and can you.

[B]

Buy this on L. I'm short.

[C]

Knowing Fred. Yes. A record that you have to put on.

[B]

What am I talking about? Of course.

[A]

All right, here's. Here is a Romanian crowd at rock club shouting for an encore. Here's music venue employee kicking everyone out while throwing away bottles.

[C]

If you are not with the band, please le. You're close.

[A]

Out you go. If you don't.

[C]

I like that there's that. You can also hear Fred in the background playing other roles. He was also playing like someone who's just having a small conversation off to the side.

[B]

Oh, this is my jam. Like, just. I can't wait to get this.

[C]

When does this come out?

[A]

This comes out September 26th, so in two weeks. I would just like to turn everyone's attention to. He was on Fallon and very much in this vein. He did a bit where he sat at the drums and he did an impression of the drummer in Diana Ross's band who had never heard the song I'm Coming out before and had to learn it in real time. And it's just pure joy. You can't believe. And again, no one has made more consistently funny, small observations in his career than Fred Armisen.

[B]

It's so funny because like. Like when you say observational comedy, like, that could be like, the most broad thing ever, right?

[A]

Yeah, that. You're right. That could be damning.

[B]

But like, Romanian club, like, just. Oh, wow. Talk about detail work.

[A]

Speaking while we're talking about sound, Keev, you were. Let's be honest, you were up in arms about the poor sound quality of your voice note last week. Do you want to just address.

[C]

Yeah. And I saw there were. I did actually go into the comments on the YouTube to be like, is anyone going to notice this? And people did. People were noticing things like the fact that I mentioned that a plane flew by. And I was like, oh, I'm going to get burned for that. And they're like, no one can hear that plane. Your entire audio sounds like it was recorded like on an old Nokia phone or something. My audio was fine. I don't know if Jeff wants to come on here to defend himself. But I went. It was so bad when I went back and listened that I was like, what happened? I recorded it on my iPhone. I went back and listened to the clip. It sounds indistinguishable from how we sound right now. It's perfect. And then I thought maybe they did it on purpose like that. The editor of this podcast thought it was funny to make it degraded. Cause it is kind of funny.

[B]

I can truly think of nothing worse for Akiva than having done something correctly with anything technical and then having the rug pulled out.

[C]

Humiliated. This is his. Jeff's not defending himself, so I don't know if he's on here, but I.

[A]

Can defend myself if you want.

[C]

Oh, there it is. Okay. Jeff, where were you again?

[A]

I was visiting Portland and you texted.

[B]

Me the voice note and I forwarded.

[A]

It to the editor over text message and somehow going over the cell phone network, it got degraded or compressed or something like that and did not hear.

[C]

It until it was edited. A problem with Portland's infrastructure Or is the editor on an Android and it went through sms?

[A]

I'm not going to blame the ed editor.

[B]

I would never do that.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I think it's probably just the going over cell networks.

[A]

Probably. Gotcha. Okay, well, this is a reminder. You really shouldn't leave the studio until the episodes are done.

[C]

Yeah. Also. Also though Andy. But Andy was thrilled I got to work in a midweek quibi for him.

[A]

We have some comments that I'll just. It's weird not to have Andy here for these, but these are some comments from the YouTube page. All caps, period, after each word. More New York Times games related comedy shit.

[C]

We don't have our main guy though, for that.

[A]

I know somebody else. I like this phrasing. This podcast has only 1 million times the word game content I require.

[C]

So they'd be fine with one millionth the amount.

[A]

Yes. But they also. They said it in a real positive way, which I kind of liked. Hey, here's one, Yoram. And I'm just gonna ask it. I have no ide. Is Jorma the voice of the computer? Have you ever been the voice of a computer, Yoram?

[C]

I can see Jorm's moving from a wheelchair back to the hospital bed and is nowhere near his microphone right now.

[A]

That's true. In fact, there are people on screen that are not Jorma, which seems to be.

[C]

Yeah, I don't. And at a glance, he seems far from the computer in a way that his headphones aren't on.

[A]

You know, we're all learning in real time how to do a podcast with someone who is currently in the hospital.

[C]

I like that it looks like a dolly shot because we must be on some sort of a wheeled table and it's getting moved around. We're getting like a very sick dolly shot of a hospital room.

[A]

I don't know if you. There's a little. There's some rumors now, Keev. Yeah, Maybe Pam and Liam aren't the real thing.

[C]

How dare they?

[A]

I agree.

[C]

I mean, I guess it's all speculation. No one knows what people do behind closed doors, right?

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

There's always been a lot of rumors about you and Alexi.

[A]

Like, this is the first time hearing. What are the rumors?

[C]

Well, just like. Is it just for publicity?

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right.

[C]

Like, what's going on? You talk about it a lot on the show. On your show, probably more than needed.

[A]

Oh, you mean, like it's a little awkward how often I'm like my wife? That sort of thing you do. You're selling it, forcing it.

[C]

You're selling it pretty hard, buddy. Yoram, we had a question for you while we were getting that sick dolly shot of your hospital room.

[B]

Oh, well, sorry, I had to transfer to my bed.

[A]

Guys, here it is. Is Yorma the voice of the computer in the Paul Rudd celery man sketch from Tim and Eric? Awesome show. Great job.

[C]

No.

[A]

All right. Would have been pretty awesome if you had been.

[B]

Yeah, that would have been. That would have been good years, as we like to say, in the lonely Island. You would have been a real eagle eared cherry.

[A]

Oh, wow, that's a good one.

[C]

That's one that we, when we were asked what our things were, where we shared, what righteous kill was. Eagle eared cherry.

[B]

Never made it in a real eagle eared cherry.

[C]

Yeah, that is one. I guess we haven't given up all our tricks. I guess we still got a few left up our sleeves.

[A]

He's a real eagle eared cherry.

[B]

I'm going to let you guess. I'm going to let you guess who came up with that phrase.

[A]

Well, that's. It's got to be you.

[B]

No fucking way.

[C]

That's an.

[A]

Is it Andy?

[C]

Andy likes that kind of stuff.

[A]

Oh, it's Andy.

[B]

Yeah, he likes references.

[A]

Oh, here you go, Yoram. Somebody said Jorm is vest was totally fine. It was literally just a black vest. I was excited to see the reveal on Instagram, given how much you were making fun of him, only to be disappointed to see a dude in a vest. With that in mind, I'd like to wish yhorm a speedy recovery as well as give my deepest apologies that it took him shattering his pelvis for me to defend him. And then pps rip Frisbee, who wasn't that ugly either. I guess in the end, Frisbee was the Jorma's vest of dogs.

[C]

Wait, was this person sitting on this this whole time?

[A]

You think they were.

[C]

Maybe they've been stewing. There's months, six months of thinking about the vest. It was like, I have something to say now.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, you know what? This is on me. Maybe if I complimented the vest earlier, he wouldn't have been trying to prove himself up on that ladder.

[B]

The problem with the. With the complimenting the vest thing is because you then said that Frisbee wasn't that ugly. And let me just be handy for a second. I don't trust the first guy who.

[A]

Do not like where this is going.

[B]

Yeah, sorry.

[C]

Their credibility went right out the window.

[B]

Yeah, I'm just like, oh, okay. I gotta. I gotta burn that vest.

[C]

So a person with no taste.

[A]

Yeah, a real mole eyed cherry.

[C]

Wow. Right off the top. Yep.

[B]

Good.

[C]

Very good.

[B]

She's changed animals.

[A]

Support for the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb. I stayed at an Airbnb once with my family in Pittsburgh. That's where my dad's from. We go back once a year and it was incredible. They had pictures of all the famous people, beautiful black and white photos of famous people from Pittsburgh. And my favorite thing about the weekend was looking at Mr. Rogers next to Wiz Khalifa. The thing I love about Airbnb is how it turns travel into something more personal. You're not just visiting a city. You're staying in a space that feels unique and lived in, and that makes the whole experience more memorable. And that's the other side of it, too. Your place gives someone else that same feeling. While you're away, your home doesn't have to sit empty. Hosting an Airbnb means someone gets a welcoming spot to stay, and you get the benefit of putting your space to good use. I love trips where I've stayed at Airbnb and sometimes I come home wanting to add touches that I saw in other people's homes because they brought character to a living space that I was envious of. Your home could be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host trip planner by Expedia.

[C]

You were made to outdo your holiday, your hammocking and your pooling. We were made to help organize the competition.

[A]

Expedia Made to Travel hey, this is exciting. Remember we were saying that there was a ClickBaity article on SportsIllustrated.com about how maybe Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift got engaged because Frisbee died? We got an email from the author of the article. Oh yeah, good.

[C]

Our favorite person.

[A]

And yeah, his name is Stephen Douglas and he wrote first, here's an article I wrote on essay.com about you trying to get d clicks by connecting Frisbee's death to Travis and Taylor's engagement.

[C]

So he gave us a click. I mean, what a nice.

[A]

But then. But the next part is back down to earth. Unfortunately for me, it only did Brenda and Sean numbers.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

I thought it was going to get get him fired almost.

[A]

And then there's more here because again, he goes second. I am a Douglas last name who was called Doogie back in the 90s. Since there were multiple kids in my class that shared my first name, my cousin thought it would be a good nickname for me in elementary school. It stuck with me for quite a while as I grew up. And every once in a while in my hometown I will run into somebody who will break it out. I could deal with that, but hearing Akiva and Andy joke about people saying Douglas was both hilarious and triggering. Get well soon, Yorm. Thank you Stephen Doogie Douglas for trying to get us dim clicks.

[B]

Doogie Douglas yes, thank you. That's so lovely. That's above and beyond.

[A]

Really appreciate it.

[C]

It was that he used the word. Didn't he use the word posit in his title? That's why, I mean, he's a good writer. Like podcasters posit that the death of dog allowed for karmic. Whatever he did, it made it loftier than it deserves.

[B]

In a good yeah, big up that Douglas.

[A]

Oh, here's one. Hey guys Ian from Antwerp, Belgium here. So I've been bugging my Iraqi friend from work to have a listen to your podcast. Yesterday finally caved and binged like six episodes in one go. Good news, you've got yourself a brand new fan of the pod. The bad news, he was wondering why you guys kept repeating Kuwait Army. I guess, look, if you're from Iraq, you're going to hear Kuwait Army.

[C]

Yeah, that makes sense, but. So he just went into a random episode. I do wonder if someone hears. This is good. You don't go back to episode one, but you'll never catch up to knowing what the hell we're talking about, which is interesting.

[A]

Yeah, it's a real mistake. I wouldn't jump in midstream.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

For all the little things.

[C]

But I understand if someone tells me an interesting. Like if someone says, Amy's podcast is really good, I look and I see like, well, what's something I'm interested in? And I go, oh, look at that. Andy was on. I'll check that one. I don't just go to the first episode and hit play.

[A]

That's true. And I would imagine with us, you might say, oh, threw it on the ground. That's a great place to jump in. And I'm sure it makes.

[C]

That's what I mean. You'll go, dick in a box. I'm gonna check out the dick in a box. Even though I will say a lot of our. What I would consider more successful episodes of this are often about the ones that no one would remember. So.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's true. It's a real strength of the podcast that we don't need a good short to make good content.

[B]

I also will say I was trying to explain or I mentioned to one of the physical therapists at the hospital that our listeners are called Kuwait Army. And then it was so like. To even get into. Why was so like. Like, ah, it doesn't even matter. Like, I can't. It just seemed like a headache.

[C]

Agreed. And they're not gonna get any enjoyment out of that story. Like, okay, do you remember Total Recall?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like describing a Dr. Dream you had or something. They're just gonna go, I'm not.

[B]

You don't even know what you're talking about. As soon as you start.

[C]

I'm not interested in this series of nonsense.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're immediately. We were here for every building block, so it makes total sense. But you're right when you have to. If you have to start at level one and the first thing you say is, do you remember the movie Total Recall? You've already lost the audience.

[B]

You're done.

[A]

Because the audience is like, wait, none of you were in that? None of you had anything to do with it. Why are we talking about that movie?

[B]

So confusing.

[A]

Somebody said, when is Yorm? And again, I think you know. Our listeners know Yorm. You're pretty quick to make a shirt after your accident.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

When are you going to make a shirt that says broke ass motherfucker?

[B]

Oh, why?

[A]

Because you broke your ass.

[C]

Oh, broke ass.

[B]

Broke Ass motherfucker.

[A]

So is it better? But I would say that a Yorma twist on it would be Ass broke motherfucker.

[B]

I would say out of all four of us, I'm not like a Big Pun guy. Right. Interesting. I don't know if any of us really are right.

[A]

And speaking of this, I'm gonna say I probably am. And I don't want to just. I don't want to, like, take this moment to be a cool.

[B]

Well, to sor of go back on that. I was talking to my friend Jake recently, and he was saying that his wife Gina was actually confused. They were talking about Big Pun, and she was like, oh, she had thought that he just made a lot of puns as a rapper, and Big Punisher's.

[C]

Nickname was Big Pun.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Ea BAE Pun. And so.

[C]

But I don't think it's because there's puns. But you know what? His lyrics were humorous. You know, like he was one of those rappers.

[B]

But he didn't have good puns, though.

[C]

He would have good punchlines and so. But yeah, but I don't know if he did a lot of puns, but maybe.

[B]

I don't think he was a Big Pun guy.

[C]

A lot of rappers like to get into words that have double meanings, though.

[B]

Yeah. Short answer is I wouldn't make that fucking shirt. That seems low to me. I would never do that.

[C]

Fuck you. No.

[B]

But thanks for writing in them.

[C]

We have had a lot of people requesting merch because obviously there is merch out there being made by third parties. And some people want the official ones, which would go to Jacob's Ladder or whatever it was called.

[B]

We should do it.

[A]

But, yeah, it would be nice. We're gonna. And again, I don't quite know why it's taken us so long. And the reality is it probably will continue to take longer. But there is some merch available right now.

[C]

Jeff is looking into it. It. Into making some official Quade army stuff.

[A]

Yeah. But Jeff's in Portland and then he's gonna, like, text the designs to somebody, and it's gonna come through all compressed.

[B]

Can we send this out to the fans and be, like, any idea that, like, rises through the ranks of whatever you guys want me to design as a shirt? Because I got nothing but time. I am literally bedridden. These guys are watching me. I'm in. I had to move from my wheelchair to a hospital bed just now. Like, I got nothing but time. So honestly, like, if anybody's like. Like, if it's Quaid army, if it's whatever.

[C]

You're taking requests.

[B]

Yeah, I'm taking requests, but it's gotta be, like, one idea I can't do, like, you know, well.

[A]

And by the way, let's say you want some merch right now and you're a little frustrated with how long it's taking us. I have some good news. We've talked about how the hot rod black leather outfit. Although maybe that has that auction ended probably. There's a buy it now item on ebay right now. Yoram. And for fans of yours.

[B]

Fans of mine.

[A]

I think it's really exciting. Yeah, hold on. I'm gonna share screen again. So.

[B]

You guys, this is gonna be embarrassing, whatever it is.

[A]

No, it's pretty awesome. It's the Shaka teeth. Oh, what the fuck?

[C]

Gross.

[D]

Backup teeth number three.

[C]

Oh, my God. It's the real and it's the mold.

[B]

Dude, I don't even have those.

[C]

Of course you don't. And that's molds.

[B]

Those are really good ones.

[C]

That's molds of your real teeth. Cause the inside of those.

[B]

No, but the ones I have aren't painted. Like, fuck, that's way better.

[A]

We are gonna send a link. If anybody here is looking to spend $875 for Jormaticoni, the grossest thing you could ever. Shaka teeth number three. They're available.

[B]

That feels a little personal.

[C]

It's weird because that is your real dental record. So I'm not saying anybody would do this, but if they wanted to, they could. Using that, the part that's molded your teeth, they could pour plaster or whatever you pour in, make a perfect mold of your teeth like they would have at the orthodontist.

[B]

Well, no.

[C]

Commit a crime. Use them to bite somebody to create teeth marks.

[B]

Not anymore. Because I did Invisalign twice since. Since these.

[C]

Oh, so that's your alib.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Okay, so you can't frame yhorm with.

[A]

These, but there's another way you could use it, Yoram, Because I feel like you could use these to do what Keev said and fake your own death. And then, you know what I mean? Throw these in. And then they would do the dental records and they would, you know, they'd.

[C]

Be like, that's him. And you could start fresh.

[A]

You could start fresh.

[B]

Oh, yeah. God, I should have. I feel like I missed opportunity now that I could have spun this broken back thing.

[C]

It should say in the notes on this. Ebay cannot be used to frame Jorma.

[A]

Yeah. Do not use for crime. Promises not to use for crime.

[C]

He has gotten invisaligned. These would be useless unless you're trying to frame him for a crime. Yeah, but if it's an old crime, a 2007 crime.

[A]

Oh, that's right. Cold case. Use this for a cold case. Hold on.

[B]

Do you guys remember. Do you guys remember the movie, the Town?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Where there's a montage. I love this montage. Where, like, all of our main heroes that are bank robbers have to scrub down their hair in a very sexy shower sequence of, like, Jeremy Renner and Ben Affleck and just, like, showing off the fucking pecs and the goods. And, like, it's a real watery, sexy scene. But the point of it is, is that they got scrubbed their body because they're gonna go to barber shops, buy a bunch of hair, and then scatter the hair all over the place to be like, ah, there's DNA everywhere. But it would be so much funnier if they had done teeth. And they just like, we need to.

[C]

Get teeth, teeth marks everywhere. Use these fake denture, fake teeth and try to put bite marks in things.

[A]

And it's just that then the scene is them just super brushing their teeth.

[C]

That's a scene I would watch.

[A]

Which doesn't really make sense.

[C]

I would watch that a lot.

[B]

Yeah. Less sexy, but, you know, more detailed.

[A]

Someone wrote. Hey, I was listening to the new episode. I heard an Airbnb ad in which Seth said that Andy and Akiva should turn their houses into Airbnb since they both have nice houses but omitted Jorma's house. Why was that? Does Seth means Jorma's house isn't nice? Or does he think that Jorma would never run out of his house? Well, now I would say the reason is it's a crime scene. It's an active crime scene.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Maybe because we live in la, you just think of that as a vacation spot. I don't know.

[A]

I do. I do think of it as a place for a sweet vacay.

[B]

My house is fine, guys.

[A]

Hold On.

[C]

I'm enjoying you going through these, Seth. This is not a comment on that, but I am. At one point when we did Q and A's, we had some audio clips directly from Quaves.

[A]

Wait, we got some.

[C]

We do. How do they submit those again? Let's just remind people how.

[A]

Well, there's a place called Speak Pipe and you can call into Speak Pipe immediately.

[B]

Sounded fake.

[C]

Definitely sounds fake. It is.

[A]

It's called Speak Pipe. And as I'm. As I'm doing this long rant.

[C]

How do they. How do the Quaid's know to do that?

[A]

I'm. Cause I'm waiting right now for someone in the chat to tell me more. This is me trying to buy time.

[C]

So the people that have already sent it have been sending it through this. But how did they know to do that?

[A]

I think we've said it before on the pod.

[C]

Oh, it's on the Instagram account. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I think we've said it.

[C]

Speakpipe.com thelonelyisland speak pipe. If you wanna give us an audio note. An audio question.

[A]

A sweet voice. Jeff, do you have any voice notes that you could play us now?

[D]

Hi, Lonely Island. My name is Morgan and I'm a longtime fan from Minnesota. A little while back, a few friends and I actually had a debate over whether our state's anthem would be Purple Rain by Prince or your song I'm on a Boat. And I was partial to I'm on a Boat. But my real question is, if you were to make one of your albums into an ABBA, Mamma Mia Type musical, which one would you choose and why?

[C]

Time.

[D]

Thanks for the podcast. Have a great day.

[A]

Bye. Thanks for the question.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, it seems.

[A]

What would be your. What would be your abba?

[C]

She said Minnesota. Right. So obviously Prince.

[A]

But yeah, it would be hard to say I'm on a boat just because they're, you know, Land of a Thousand Lakes or whatever they call themselves.

[B]

Of course I would say pop star. That seems like it would be a great musical movie.

[C]

Yeah, well, that's true. That has a story. But Mamma Mia, to be clear, did not choose one AB album. Right, right, right. They. They were using the breath of the library.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I think that's what we do like. And Juliet uses all those Max Martin produced songs. Right.

[B]

I don't want our caller or the person who asked the question to feel bad. I didn't know that. I wouldn't have. If you told me that it was one album, I would have been like.

[C]

Oh, what did you Think and Juliet was yorm Unreal. Yeah. It makes it seem like.

[A]

I know, just like a jukebox. Jukebox. It is fun to, like, take all. Because your songs are so specific. It'd be really funny to tell somebody, like, write a music, a Broadway musical that tells a story. But you can only use Lonely Island.

[B]

I feel like that's a great thing to just plop into chatgpt, like, give it, like, 20 songs.

[C]

Yeah. I guess it's different when it is ABBA or all the works of Max Martin from, you know, Britney Spears and Backstreet and NSync, where those songs are more about feelings, so you can easily place them into a narrative of your choice. Whereas ours. Yeah, they're. They. They might be a little distracting, but I don't want to let that discourage anyone from giving it a go. Yeah.

[A]

If somebody's, like, halfway down the road on this, like, don't stop just because of what we're saying.

[B]

Well, I would. I would say. I would love. This is a genuine answer like, that. I would actually love us to write a real musical, like, just start from scratch.

[C]

A Book of Mormon, you're saying?

[B]

Yeah, a Book of Mormon. Lonely Islands, at least.

[A]

I disagree. And I want somebody else to figure out, like, where. Write a musical about, like, a couple falling in love, but then have to figure out, like, where does Sushi Glory Hole fit into it?

[C]

Yeah, that's what I'm going on.

[A]

Just like, I feel like it's a lot of characters who are in only one scene, and they're like, hey, my brother Richie and his friend Todd, like, what are you guys up to?

[B]

Well, we'll tell you.

[A]

I just had Josh Gad on the show because you mentioned Book of Mormon. And it was one of those things I was saying to him because I, you know, obviously two pretty obvious examples, but I feel like very lucky that I saw that. And Hamilton with the original cast. Like, that was one of those. Oh, wow. This is what it's like to live in New York City and see something at the right time.

[C]

I also saw Book of Mormon with that original cast and had that same feeling. Cause I don't see very many things. I did not get to see the Hamilton original cast, but it was still excellent. When I did.

[B]

I saw a Hamilton original but did not see the Josh cast, unfortunately.

[A]

I also was telling him I didn't see it right away. And by the time I saw Book of Mormon, my expectations, they had been set so high by other people that I went into it with this, like, sort of cynical view that it couldn't possibly be as good as everybody said it was. And it was just as good, if not better than everybody said it was. It was so exciting.

[B]

Yeah, that's exactly how I felt about Hamilton, actually.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But Hamilton I actually actively sort of wanted to hate because of my love of hip hop. And then within one minute, there's, like, maybe five references to, like, songs you wouldn't know unless you really loved hip hop. Where I was like, oh, dude, this guy's great. Like, in addition to, like, actually just being a fantastically written thing, like, he's a fan and he knows his shit and he's.

[C]

Yeah, these are some pretty spicy takes. Are you sure you want to put these out publicly?

[A]

Well, Kevin, how good they are.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now that I broke my back, I'm just like, I don't. I don't fucking care.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's such a release for me.

[C]

Well, you heard it here. These two guys liked Book of Mormon and liked Hamilton. Come at him.

[A]

I feel like the minute. The minute Andy's gone, like, there's just no chasing a dumb clicks.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This is like reverse.

[C]

Good luck. Stephen Douglas, writing your article about this one.

[B]

What? I wonder if people pull the articles about me because of that last thing. They're like, you know what? It wasn't that interesting. Let's take that. That article about him bringing this back down.

[A]

Here's I'll. Here's one I'll throw out for Steven if. If they get married and Frisbee doesn't come back to life, is it true love?

[C]

Oh, you're saying the energy can go back to the void and go back to Frisbee?

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I'm just saying, like, if they really love each other, I feel like she should come back to life. I'm positing.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Positive way. Thank you for using Mr. Douglas language.

[A]

Yes, Mr. Douglas, he taught us. Look, he taught me how to speak.

[C]

Support comes from Vori. Akiva here. Everybody to talk about Vori. You know, I always love talking about Vori, and today I've roped my wife Liz into this with me because she ordered some stuff from Vori and is very much enjoying it. How are you liking your stuff, Liz?

[E]

It's the best. By the way, you're not roping me into it because I really, truly love it because it is cute on the tennis court. You know, I'm. I'm a USTA tennis player.

[C]

Okay. That's a lot of bragging on a.

[E]

Women'S 40 and over team. And I'm a 40 player. So that's something. So I'm looking real cute in my viori tank that I got and I got these cute like skorts that are.

[C]

Explain skorts to me.

[E]

Well, it looks maybe like a tennis skirt from far away but it's actually shorts. I can kick my leg up after I hit a winner.

[C]

Tell me some of the names of the tennis teams that you play against.

[E]

We like to have fun.

[A]

Fun.

[E]

You know, we like to have fun. So like let's say sometime I'm on the volley girls. So because you know.

[C]

Because you volley and we're from the valley.

[A]

Exactly.

[E]

There's a lot of puns happening because you know that's part of it.

[C]

Give me a couple of.

[E]

Let's see why we, you know the lobcats. Not the Bobcats but the lobcats.

[C]

Understood.

[E]

Baby got backhand. Does that need an explanation?

[C]

No, that one's really good.

[E]

My the the toughest team I play against and I'll be in head to toe vori when I crush the supreme courters.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Lifetime nominations.

[C]

I don't know if any of them are in Quaid army but you might. They might hear you. Okay. And Liz, have you noticed any good moisture wicking?

[E]

Yes, for real because I. I sweat on the court and then these you well, because I'm playing hard, you know.

[C]

And then have you noticed them being odor resistant?

[D]

Yep.

[C]

You have?

[A]

Great.

[C]

Yeah. And there's the clue. Those soft or coarse and hard and annoying?

[E]

Very soft.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Very like flowy, very cozy. And actually even wore the joggers as my like at home sweatpants too. Even though they were cute outside too. They were real like light and cozy at home.

[C]

Excellent. For our listeners they're offering 20 off your first purchase. Go to vuori.com island that's V U O R I.com island exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

[A]

Yes, Liz, do you know what a.

[E]

Tennis player says when she's done with an ad?

[C]

What?

[B]

Add out.

[C]

I don't know enough about tennis but I'm gonna.

[A]

That was clever.

[C]

Okay. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. All right. Do we have another one? Jeff.

[B]

Hi, it's Edie from Baltimore again.

[A]

The last time you guys thought I'M.

[B]

In medical school, but I'm not.

[A]

Not. I'm in third grade. We have four cats, so Laser Cats is my other favorite. My question is, did you guys know.

[B]

The cat and what did you do.

[A]

With the stuffed animal cats after you filmed?

[B]

Also, my mom said Yoma broke his butt.

[A]

That's so sad. I hope he feels better.

[B]

Okay, bye.

[C]

Thank you for the energy. Flawless.

[A]

I really just just shot out of the Speak pipe.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

That was great.

[C]

Who. What was.

[B]

What was their name?

[A]

I don't know, but I like that. Clearly they had sent in a previous voice note that I obviously don't remember hearing.

[B]

Yeah. Which I feel bad about.

[C]

We. We. We've had a child's voice note before.

[A]

Yeah. But that one, I don't know if we had that energy before. It is. I like the idea that that's the first time we heard somebody and immediately they were like, it's me again.

[B]

I also love. I'm in third grade.

[A]

You thought I was in medical school.

[B]

Psych. I can answer the first part, Keev, and you can add onto it, because I have two things to say about Laser Cats. One is partially. Laser Cats was partially in my mind, based on me holding up our cat. It was Willy. Right. My wife's right next to me here, picking up Willy and cocking him like a shotgun and then pretending to shoot my wife with Willy. And I think I was making shotgun sounds. And then Willy and Cleo, who are our two cats, are actually the cats in the opening credits of Layers of Cats, because I wanted to just, you know, give a little shout out to my guest. So they're the ones that are flying by when it says when there was a nuclear war in the past, like, whatever.

[C]

Right. The photoshopped ones, you would take photos and cut them.

[B]

So those are all pictures of my cats. And then you want to talk about the stuff.

[C]

Well, the rest of the real cats are brought in by animal wranglers, because then we're in the real thing, and it has to be approved by the. What is it? Aspca.

[B]

Yeah, aspca.

[C]

Well, let's talk about.

[B]

Let's talk about the actual animal wrangling. Because when you say you. You have a trained cat, that's not a real thing. Like, you don't really train cats. They basically, like, put them down. And then they're like, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here. And you're just like, this is not. This isn't working. This is just a fucking cat. Like, you know, they're not doing Anything. Like, did a cat ever do anything? These were not Llewellyn Davis cats.

[C]

No.

[B]

Like, these were, like, just cats that were in a cage and, like, you could pick them up and pet them, basically. But there was no. Right.

[C]

Yeah, they were just brought in, and then they went. And then. Yeah, but we didn't require much of them. And then the stuffed animals were props, and I'm assuming props just had to keep them.

[A]

Where. Where is it these cats or other cats that Lauren fostered afterwards? I can't remember.

[C]

Well, Lorne is a sucker. The animal wranglers are like, don't let Lorne see the animals. Cause he'll adopt them. Cause he just. It doesn't matter what it is. He's like, oh, he says it too.

[A]

He's like, don't let me near them.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't go home with monsters.

[C]

Put that in my house.

[A]

Put that one in my house.

[C]

I want to see that one when I get home.

[B]

Wait, can I tell you, actually, though, this. The story that I love best about those stuffed cats in particular was when we were shooting the. We were shooting on the Dr. Oz set, and it was. Oh, my God. Who sings A Candle in the Wind?

[C]

It was Elton John.

[B]

Elton John. Yeah, Elton John. That guy. Sir Elton John.

[A]

You are better with names.

[B]

Yeah, I got way better with names. So Sir Elton John is.

[C]

Oh, now.

[A]

Now he's showing off. Sir Elton John. Yeah. Okay. Oh, he does. He's really good.

[B]

Sir Elton is on the floor. I can't remember what his character. He was a bad guy. Draw draws. Of course, Dr. Oz draws draws.

[C]

Cause we just were using their set, so we said he was draws.

[B]

Dr. Oz became draws. So Droz has been. Is mortally wounded. Right. He's covered in cats. And at one point, we were about to shoot, like, coverage on him, and he whispered something to me, and I said, what? And I leaned closer to him, and he says, this is more pussy than I've ever seen in my life. And I was like, that's the fucking funniest thing I've ever heard. I was like, God, it made me. I was instantaneously. Whatever his name is. Fan for life.

[C]

Whatever. You are his number one fan.

[A]

What's that guy's name?

[C]

You know, he's been knighted, but been unsure about any. Any other detail.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I bet he's friends with the guy who wrote Spare.

[A]

The good thing is, I feel like he could have also just said that joke about two cats.

[C]

He might have.

[B]

I bet he could have.

[C]

We don't know.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, because he said cats aren't trained. Well, again, just look it up. I've watched it a couple times. David Spade is on a talk show talking about how he had a conversation about trained animals with Christopher Walken. And it's one of my favorite things because Spade tells a great walk in story without really doing a big walking impression. It's a real. He doesn't press it. It's so. It's not an impression based story, but it's great as it's walking. Talking about how dogs are great, you can't train cats. And paraphrasing. But I think the last thing is him. He's like, you ever work with a trained mouse? And Spade's like, no, I never have. He's like, they're good.

[C]

I guess mice famously can be trained. They're in those mazes, they're going out to cheese. Yeah, that's the thing.

[A]

Yeah. But that is the joy of Christopher Walken is I feel like he's just like, you know, he's impressed.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? He sees a well trained mouse and he's like, congratulations all around.

[C]

He's got a sense of curiosity that is in all his roles.

[A]

Yeah. I remember the first time he was on SNL when I was there. Not the first time he was on snl. First time he was on, when I was in the cast, everybody pitched and at the end, Lauren said, do you have anything, Christopher? He said, maybe something with bears. Bears are funny. And I was like, well, that's the gift right there. That's one I'll take with me the rest of my life.

[B]

God, I just love when your speech pattern, like, provides accidental or on purpose punchlines all the time.

[A]

Oh, her name is Edie.

[B]

Edie. The voice note of the third grader who is a badass is Edie.

[A]

Yeah, Edie.

[B]

Please send in another voice note too. Like you're. They're more than welcome.

[A]

Yeah, Edie, we're waiting for another one, but on the next one. Edie, our request, please act like you've never talked to us before. Yeah, I feel like we might. Yoram and I especially maybe have been repeating ourselves today. And Andy is the best. Don't repeat cop. So. So you know his absence. Oh, he just wrote me. Oh, he sent me an audio file. Oh, he sent it to you too.

[B]

This is definitely gonna be about Queen Bee. Definitely.

[A]

So this is you guys. We just got a message from Andy as I was talking about the value he adds to the pod and making sure we don't repeat Ourselves. Hey, it's Andy. What's up, guys? Sorry I couldn't be there. Just happened to work out that the only time Seth could do of the entire week, which is a lot of hours, was the one time I couldn't.

[C]

So it's his fault.

[A]

But I did wanna let everyone know.

[C]

That I just got queen bee.

[A]

My last word was Uncle Kink. Kicking myself for not getting it sooner.

[B]

But I got there anyways.

[C]

Love you guys. It's all positive.

[A]

It wasn't all positive. You threw me under the bus.

[B]

Well, in a positive way.

[C]

It was truthful and positive.

[A]

Yeah, well, it's positive for you. Positive for you, too.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Right.

[B]

Brevity, though. The guy knows how to fucking send a voice note.

[A]

He also. Then I just got a text from him because I get my daily text from him when he gets it, and he wrote, queen bee. Clean voice note sent. Don't spoil it.

[C]

Don't spoil it. Like, oh, he got queen bee.

[A]

I love that. That was like, a big reveal.

[C]

Yeah. Wow. So we got it. So I guess the pod's over. Check in tomorrow.

[A]

Well, actually, Jeff, do we have any more voice notes?

[B]

Hello. I am getting married in the end of October, and my lovely bride has allowed me to play one Lonely island.

[A]

Song during the wedding.

[B]

So I wanted to get your opinion on which song that should be. So looking forward to hearing your response.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Bye. Bye.

[A]

Great question. It's the fun now. Cause again, you just get one.

[C]

I wish he had given more details of the wedding. Like, is this, you know, what part of the country it's in? Daytime or nighttime? Lot of kids there.

[A]

My wife's parents already don't like me.

[C]

Yes, exactly. Children on the dance floor. Do we do a clean version?

[A]

And the other thing is, are you trying to pick the best Lonely island song for a wedding, or are you trying to pick the funniest Lonely island song at a wedding based on how inappropriate it is?

[C]

Also, like, are people drunk? Is this gonna be sandwiched between, like, you know, a Beyonce song and an ABBA song?

[B]

Well, but if we go by what we assume every wedding is and accept, I immediately actually get into, like, semi. I've never DJed before, but, like, I. I get immediately uncomfortable being like, oh, that's not gonna work. That joke's not gonna, like, play. That's not loud enough. Da, da. So somewhere I actually just go to what's the best sounding song or that's the most fun to sing along to. And I probably would say boat.

[A]

I think boat, too.

[C]

Yeah. Unless Are they gonna do the thing where they leave for a little while and we all assume. Cause you know how right after you get married then the photographer usually takes you off to take photos because you can't see. Right. That's after the ceremony.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then that's when you might sneak in a quickie because it's the wedding day and you're supposed to have sex. I guess. And so then they could come back to I just had sex and really just own it. That's great.

[A]

Keev said. I guess because he was married at city hall and so there was no.

[C]

Yeah, I've been to weddings. So I just don't know what.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You assume though, at a normal wedding people go off and have like bone and then come back. Back.

[C]

I think they should.

[B]

I think they should too.

[A]

Oh, so now there's a shift.

[C]

Because a lot of times there's.

[A]

Even at one point you're like, that's a tradition. And now you're like, it's a suggestion.

[C]

Cuz sometimes there's even a wardrobe change at a certain point when. When the party's going to kick into high gear at a certain point.

[B]

And that's when if you're going to take your clothes off. Might as well.

[C]

Right. It can be a two minute session. It's just for the point of like, we did it and we're going to be drunk later.

[B]

I will say that that's a really nice thing to do because you, you kind of a wedding also, it's your.

[C]

First time, so you're so nervous and you're like, let's get out of the way so we can enjoy the rest of the party.

[B]

You think your first time takes two minutes though. I feel like there's.

[C]

You think it's much less.

[B]

Well, because you're so nervous. Like I would imagine there's much less. No, I was gonna say much less.

[A]

I feel like nervous can break either way. Nervous can either be like it's over like that or it's just like goes. It's interminable.

[C]

Yeah, that's either way. I just think you want it out of the way so you can enjoy the rest of the night not being like, oh, it's getting a little late.

[A]

Also not nervous about performance. You're just worried about running out of time.

[C]

Time. Yeah. And just like how tired you're gonna be. Like, it's 4am yeah.

[A]

And are you worried? I be honest. Are you worried about you being too tired? Are you worried about them being too tired?

[C]

Me, probably.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Let's be honest.

[A]

You don't want to be in a.

[C]

Situation sleepy and I had too much. Because also everyone wants to have a drink with you. It's your wedding. So then you're getting a little overserved and then all of a sudden it's gonna be sloppy. Whereas if you just went and took all the photos so everyone's leaving you alone anyways, and then everyone else is at the dinner having their opening cocktails and stuff. And then you guys just aren't there because you make that grand entrance right. Where everyone cheers. So there's a built in space. I think people should weigh it. I assumed people snuck one there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

So I just had sex. Is the.

[A]

Is the choice, I think get it out of the way. Because nothing's worse than like, I think if your bride on the first night is like, should we get our quickie? Like at the end of the night you're like, oh, I just ate so much cake. Like, I just feel like that's what I mean.

[C]

It's gross. Yeah.

[A]

And so this is better. But with that said, I still. I second yhorm. I think I'm on a Boat is the best sort of dance floor anthem.

[C]

Yeah. At 1:30am when it's just the drunk adults now and you need something to sing along to. Yeah.

[A]

Or I will just argue as well. Like, I mean, again, if you can find the clean version, the best thing about I'm On a Boat is it teaches everybody the one line that is said the most.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So if you had like a seven year old on the dance floor, by the end of the song, they're also gonna be able to yell I'm on.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

The clean one you can find. Sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, it shouldn't probably be for the first dance, but it could be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I will say that the song I always wanted to actually genuinely take off, which somehow never did, was we are a Crowd. I genuinely wanted that to become a thing that people shouted at supporting events. We are a crowd and we are loud. We're cheering at a group as a group at our favorite event.

[A]

Somehow it didn't take off if somebody's last name, if the bride or the grand groom's last name was boat. I also think I'm on a Boat would like serve both purposes. Of both. I just had sex and I'm on a boat.

[B]

Or they could change their last name to boat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then winner.

[A]

So that's. That would be helpful too. All right, Jeff, play another one. Hey.

[D]

A few months ago I sent a DM about how I was having unexplicable romantic dreams about Yorma. I'm a lesbian, and I have a partner and a baby. And. And it was very out of character of me. They're not sexual. Dreams are just romantic. But I recently realized that. I think it's because he played that weirdo artist in Girls. And when I was coming out to my friends, one of my friends said, you know how I know you're gay? It's because you cite your celebrity crush as that weirdo artist from Girls. Anyway, that's all. Okay, bye.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

You think being attracted to Jonathan Booth as a woman makes.

[A]

Isn't it Booth Jonathan? I thought it was Booth Jonathan.

[B]

Right, yeah, Booth Jonathan. Which, by the way, the original name of the character was Jonathan Booth. And then they were like, how can we make this more pretentious? And then they just flipped the name. So I'm so flattered by that comment. And then also, I don't know how to feel, I guess, about it.

[C]

I'm also curious what the romance is, because she said, it's not sexual. It's romantic. And I want to know where that line is. Just personally, it would just help me in my life to know where that line. Oh, my God, like, what kind of stuff are you doing? Like, you're eating. But if it's not sexual does. I mean, there's not even kissing. It's just like holding hands watching a movie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Picture is, like, just like, holding hands walking around or something.

[C]

Or, like, having a nice meal, or you're on, like, a. A little boat ride or something. You're, like, pedaling the swan boats in Central Park.

[A]

I also, like, there is something of. Because, again, like, Booth Jonathan is such a piece of shit that if you have romantic dreams about him, like, I do, I think, like, you wake up, you're like, oh, my God, I'm a lesbian. Like, there's. I've known all this time. And that was the dream that kind of shook it loose.

[B]

A dream about me can reconfirm your. You're like, oh, I'm definitely a lesbian.

[C]

Where someone has a crush on you, a man, and goes, yep, that confirms it.

[A]

I will say I think I read that comment, and I apologize for not reading it, but it was way better to hear you say it out loud.

[B]

Way better.

[A]

So thank you. Thank you for calling in and leaving it on the old speaker.

[B]

Pipe another one.

[A]

What do you got, Jeff? One more? Should we do one more?

[B]

I like hearing them, like, hearing the queens.

[D]

Hi, Lonely Island Pod. This is the story of how Frisbee saved me from crashing my car on a rainy highway last year. In late December, my beloved 15 and a half year old lass, Apso, docs and mix left this mortal plane and in my deepest sorrow, Frisbee, Seth and the lonely island were there to pull me out of the literal depths of despair at the perfect time Time. Walter looked like an elderly man, even as a puppy crossed with a teddy bear and Master Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He was basically a human soul in a little furry dog suit and I loved him nearly as much as my actual human children. The rainy night I headed to the animal hospital to pick up Walter's remains, I could not stop crying, sobbing and driving is hardly ideal or safe. So I turned on episode 41, one listener Q&A, episode three to try and pull myself together. I went into the animal hospital, thanked the kind staff and left with my now incinerated dog. I got back in the car with a tin of my dog's ashes and a clay paw print, crying significantly harder with what was left of Walter riding shotgun, I turned the podcast back on, only for it to start up again at the most serendipitous question, Does Andy still hate Frisbee? Before I knew it, Seth was retelling his fantasy of sending Frisbee's bones to Andy after her death and an audience member asking, how will you get the bones? Having held my dog as the vet administered euthanasia meds just weeks prior, which was in fact super sad as noted on the pod, my hysterical tears turned into audible laughter as Seth imagined asking his vet for Frisbee's bones mid procedure. The universe knew I needed to get a grip so as not to crash my car on a rainy highway, and sent me imagery of Seth giggling while boxing up Frisbee's bones to mail to Andy at the most opportune moment. Now, almost eight months without Walter, I tear up regularly and can pull myself out of it by thinking, how will you get the bones? I'm so sorry for Seth's lots of Frisbee and delighted for Andy. I guess if Frisbee didn't pass on to the netherworld from whence she came, I hope she and Walter are together at the big dog park in the sky with my eternal gratitude.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

God, Maura, that's no notes on that one. That was well written, well told.

[A]

I definitely got a little teary. It was really lovely. Thank you for sharing. And I don't know, I feel like we should just. Just get out while the getting's good. That was a perfect, perfect way to end it.

[C]

That's very nice.

[A]

And we'll have Andy back next time if his schedule aligns. And then we will talk about two worlds collide, and I love you guys.

[B]

Love you, Seth.

[C]

Love you.

[A]

He's not here today, so. Later, Arnold. Later, Quaid.