Listener Q&A Episode 9 | The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast Episode 91

Summary

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The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast

Listener Q&A Episode 9 | Episode 91

December 23, 2025

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Overview

This episode is a spirited Listener Q&A in the absence of Seth Meyers, with The Lonely Island trio—Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone—fielding questions, riffing on fan emails, and spinning off into classic digressions and inside jokes. They recount personal stories, debate the semantics of “chunks” as podcast structure, discuss SNL memories, thank fans for quirky gifts, and muse about burritos, ads, and “burrito brain”—all with their trademark blend of warmth and absurdity.

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Key Moments & Discussion Highlights

1. "Cherry Battle" Feedback & Jon Hamm’s Praise

00:08–01:31

• Jorma confesses to not having listened to the last episode, but enjoyed rewatching “Cherry Battle,” noting its playful simplicity and the funny singing cherry character.
• Akiva relays a text from Jon Hamm:

  “You guys had some tricks left in the bag. Made me crack up hard... it’s Criterion.” – Jon Hamm (00:39)

• Discussion about how friend Tucker’s praise after the show made Akiva proud of the short.

Notable Quote:

“An easy guy is a perfect way to put it.” – Andy Samberg (00:29)

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2. Physical Comedy and Animal Intrusions

01:31–06:17

• Andy describes nearly wishing his “cherry guy” voice would emerge during a fall off a ladder.
• Akiva shares his tale of a rat infestation, complete with a matter-of-fact exterminator who reacts, “Oh, cool,” upon seeing a trapped rat.
• This launches a riff on “let’s fucking go” as an over-the-top exclamation in inappropriate settings (ballets, births, exterminator calls).

Memorable Moment:

Jorma: “I was 110% sure he was gonna say, let’s fucking—”
Akiva: “He did later about something else. But the cool was the first, most important part.” (05:23–05:43)

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3. Snake Guy vs. Spider-Man?

06:04–08:22

• Andy and Jorma riff on Akiva’s “snake guy” (literal snake wrangler) and ponder if a “snake guy” should be half-snake, half-man.

• The debate spirals into whether Spider-Man or Snake Guy would win in various contests—notably, relaxation.

  “If it’s in a contest of who can relax more, I think a snake guy is going to win.” – Andy (07:28)

• Running joke: “Let’s fucking go” as a universal celebratory phrase.

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4. On Podcast Structure: “Chunks” and Ad Complaints

09:50–16:46

• The group riffs on the recurring criticism that their show is "half ads," acknowledging but poking fun at it.
• Detailed breakdown of how ads are spaced—and why "ads are not a chunk."
• Comparison of podcast “chunks” to Quibi’s failed short-form format.
• They read a fan's snarky email about skipping “40 times” to get through all the ads, defending their approach:

  “We put work into some of the ads to make them a little bit more entertaining... But you wouldn’t know that, James, because you skip them.” – Akiva (24:37)

• Banter about old NYC apartment locations, with Friends and Sex and the City references.

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5. Fan Interaction: Gifts, Patches, and Listener Stories

27:32–29:46

• They showcase a listener-made fully embroidered "Quaid Army" patch on a Vietnam era army jacket, describe its symbols, and praise the artistry.
• Discussion of a custom license plate frame ("Qu Army for life") and fan-made pins—highlighting the creative engagement of their fanbase (“Quaid Army”).

Notable Quote:

“That is so sick, bro. That is really cool.” – Andy (27:46)

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6. Pop Culture, SNL & Comedy Fan Debates

32:32–41:01

• Andy discusses “Karate Guy” as their best and funniest song.
• Strong recommendations for an HBO/Adult Swim show; plan to review it in a future episode.
• Quick debate about the “Three’s Company” theme song being pervy, pivoting into musical cues for the “Merv the Perv” sketch from SNL.
• Read a touching email from Barbara, a listener with “no ties” to SNL/Lonely Island who now loves the show:

  “I have virtually zero ties to any of you. I have listened to and loved every single episode.” – Barbara (35:32)

• Calls for Barbara to write back and explain how she stumbled onto the podcast.

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7. Inside Baseball: The New York Times Rivalries

37:12–41:13

• Multiple listeners from New York Times-related outlets (Wirecutter, Games, the Athletic) send in emails, sparking tongue-in-cheek territorial squabbles.
• Banter over “cute butts on the football team” and SNL’s infamous “Mondo Butts” reference.

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8. Parenting, Censorship, and Cursing in Humor

53:02–55:15

• Listener shares how her own son—averse to cursing and innuendo—thought Lonely Island’s material meant his mom was a “pervert.”
• All discuss how their own kids handle cursing in music and what’s appropriate per family.

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9. "Burrito Brain" and Aging

55:48–61:11

• Extended bit about "burrito brain" (BB): feeling mentally foggy or sluggish after consuming too much burrito.

• The trio reminisces about their younger days when eating multiple burritos was easy, lamenting middle-age metabolism.

  “Now I go, half a burrito. I’m fucking burrito branding all over the place.” – Akiva (59:58)

• Propose launching a “NAB – non asada burrito” as a joke product: an easy-to-digest alternative for aging burrito lovers.

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10. Spider-Man Multiverse, Campaigns & Movie References

57:44–61:41

• They joke about wanting a “burrito brain” Spider-Man in the multiverse films, likening Akiva’s campaign to Donald Glover’s for Miles Morales.

  “Nobody with burrito brain has ever been Spider-Man.” – Akiva (59:16)

• Group assigns their Spider-Man incarnations (“Spider-Ham,” “Ben Reilly,” etc.).

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11. Listener Letters: Costumes, Gonks & Names

48:13–50:44

• 14-year-old listener Abigail shares a photo of her Lorne Michaels Halloween costume, to much affection.
• Listener from the UK shares the tradition of calling Christmas gnomes "gonks," leading to jokes about “not a gonk.”

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Notable Quotes

• “An easy guy is a perfect way to put it.” – Andy Samberg (00:29)
• “We put work into some of the ads to make them a little bit more entertaining... But you wouldn’t know that, James, because you skip them.” – Akiva Schaffer (24:37)
• “If it’s in a contest of who can relax more, I think a snake guy is going to win.” – Andy Samberg (07:28)
• “Nobody with burrito brain has ever been Spider-Man.” – Akiva Schaffer (59:16)
• “If you know, if a Spider-Man or anyone you know has had burrito brain… hit us up.” – Jorma Taccone (60:26)

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Additional Timestamps for Important Segments

• Cherry Battle Discussion & Jon Hamm’s Text: 00:08–01:31
• "Snake Guy" Bit: 06:04–08:22
• Ad/Chunk Structure Riffing: 09:50–16:46
• Listener Gifts & Patches: 27:32–29:46
• Fan Story: New Listener “Barbara”: 34:47–36:47
• NYT Internal Turf War: 37:12–41:13
• Parenting, Cursing, & Kids: 53:02–55:21
• Burrito Brain/Spider-Man Campaign: 55:48–61:41

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Tone & Style

Conversational, loose, and self-aware; typical of The Lonely Island’s playful, meta-comedic energy. There’s a strong sense of camaraderie, gentle ribbing, and frequent detours into parody and surreal hypotheticals. Fan interaction is warm and inclusive, if irreverent.

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Summary

A quintessential hangout episode—bouncing between podcast meta-jokes (especially about “chunks” and the prevalence of ads), fondly ridiculous personal stories, listener mail, and the group’s affection for both fans and one another. Highlights include Jon Hamm’s adulation for "Cherry Battle," Akiva’s exterminator saga, riffs on podcast structure, playful bickering about New York institutions, and the introduction of “burrito brain” as their new favorite aging complaint. Beneath the absurdity, the trio’s gratitude for quirky listener engagement—with patches, pins, costumes, and emails—shines through.

If you love inside jokes, SNL lore, or just a fun, self-aware group riffing with undiminished chemistry, this episode is a treat.

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Transcript

[Andy Samberg]

It's the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast.

[Jorma Taccone]

I wanted to just start off by saying I haven't listened to the last episode. I sent in a voice note since then. I did rewatch Cherry Battle, and I thought it was really good. It was super fun. Doesn't stay too long, has a couple of quick little turns and gets out. And there's the funny little singing cherry. It's a little. A little easy guy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

An easy guy is a perfect way to put it. It's an easy guy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And we got a nice text from Jon Hamm, right?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

He said it was his favorite one all time. Right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

This is a quote for me. It's the best. Like Tucker said, this is now a quote within a quote. You guys had some tricks left in the bag. Made me crack up hard when I saw it. So, yeah, he's saying it's Criterion. Oh.

[Jorma Taccone]

Did you tell the story of how Tucker said that to us after the show?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I did.

[Jorma Taccone]

I remember that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And. And I remember I basically phrased it that. That's kind of what solidified it in my head as something I was proud of.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, great.

[Andy Samberg]

I also. I really like my little cherry guy, too. I thought I did a really good job going like that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And you still got it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Still got it.

[Andy Samberg]

Yep. Thank you.

[Jorma Taccone]

Is that the sound you made when you fell off the ladder?

[Andy Samberg]

I so wish. When we were talking about, like, what happens in a tragedy, and we were like, I guess this is what. Who I am as a person. I wish that's exactly what I said.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yorm, do you remember? Did you do a yell? Was it like a no or something like that?

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, for sure. Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

When you hit the ground or. Or in the air, was there something.

[Andy Samberg]

The minute I hit the ground, I was like, oh, my God.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, my God.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Oh, my God.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Give me a fucking amul.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Give me a.

[Andy Samberg]

And it was like 10 minutes of me saying, give me a.

[Jorma Taccone]

But you didn't scream. You didn't scream during the fall. It just happened, I don't think.

[Andy Samberg]

No, I didn't. That would have been cool if I had like. Like a cartoon been like, if you.

[Jorma Taccone]

Were like, here, let's fucking go like that.

[Andy Samberg]

That would have been amazing.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Kevin wants us to go less than 10 minutes before we say, Seth isn't here, guys.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, guess what? I'm not gonna do it. And Kevin can go to hell and.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Bird and hell, which I believe in on Kev Bob.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Kevin, get on here and take your licks.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's the Christmas season and people are busy, but the reason he's not here. I don't think it's a spo. Because we're excited. We haven't heard it, but the Criterion Episode Part 2 has been recorded without us with. Is it. It's not a spoiler. This is teasing it. He recorded. It's Lin Manuel Miranda and Amir Quest Love Thompson. And we're very excited to hear what they chose.

[Andy Samberg]

Two greats. Two greats.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Two greats. Let's see if we agree with their. See if their opinions are as great as their legends. Speaking of people saying let's fucking go when falling off a ladder, I had some. A small rat problem in the garage and there were lots of little. It was one of those things where I just went out there one day and was like, what are. What am I looking at? Luckily, I didn't touch them with my hand, but it turned out it was rat poop and, like little twigs and nuts and stuff. So it was like nesting and pooping everywhere. Oh, there we go. Wait, that's good. Let that play. That's my rat music.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay, well, it's actually my food. Okay, I'll be right back.

[Jorma Taccone]

So just to be clear, Yorm ordered food to be delivered during the podcast record.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So he can be chewing during the pod.

[Jorma Taccone]

During the podcast record. Yeah, no, it's just. That's just good thought out stuff, you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Know, hey, this pod is woven into our daily lives at this point. It's really nice.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, yeah, that's nicely said, actually. So, Keev, did you hear the voice note I sent in?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

And did you feel like it was.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I didn't hear it when it was cut in, so I don't know what context it fell into our pod, but I listened to it, got it.

[Jorma Taccone]

And you felt like we had the same.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, we both remembered the car ride that it was like, right when we were getting out of the car. You know this. The only difference is, Andy, the way you phrased it sounded like we took the car to the same location and both went home. But I think I was hopping out and you were still in. And the driver had to kind of sit there while I.

[Jorma Taccone]

Correct.

[Akiva Schaffer]

While we talked. And then you had to drive home.

[Jorma Taccone]

Correct.

[Andy Samberg]

Are you still talking about rats?

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's not important, but. But it was a distinction.

[Jorma Taccone]

You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you would get out on 10th street and I would go to Grove.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Exactly. Grove.

[Jorma Taccone]

We can say it now. We don't live there anymore.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Where the Friends exterior is. You said, I just need to live as close to the Friends exterior. As possible. And you nailed it, man. You were across the street.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So cool.

[Jorma Taccone]

Little owl.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yep. And I wanted to be, of course, closer to Carrie Bradshaw. And I got there, but I was, like, two blocks off.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, I thought you were going to say the Lazy Sunday building.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I wanted to. Yeah. And I nailed it. I got the very. I got the bedroom. Not only the front stoop, I got the bedroom from it. So sick.

[Jorma Taccone]

So sick, bro.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You wanted my. I stopped my story because it was a. Let's fucking go. So this guy came, he set some rat traps. He cleaned it up.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, I think I know where.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He said. Then, like, four days later, one of them caught it. And I was like, oh, God. And I saw it. It was really. It wasn't grotesque or anything. It just looked like the rat was just frozen. It was like it was just stopped there. And it was not something I wanted to see. I felt bad for the rat immediately, but there is, like, germs involved. Anyways, I didn't know how I ethically felt about any of it. I called him, he came. I said, oh, it's in there. He's like, oh, we got one. And then he went over, and when he looked at it, and he was like, cool.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, my gosh.

[Andy Samberg]

The guy who likes his job.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's nice the way you teed it up. I was 110% sure he was gonna say, let's fucking.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It had to be. No, it had to say that. Nope. He did later. He did later about something else. But the cool was the first, most important part.

[Andy Samberg]

And he meant it. He meant he wasn't being so good.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He was like, oh, cool. It worked. It was like an Aziz character had just walked an exterminator.

[Jorma Taccone]

You're like, yeah. Yes. He's like, oh, you don't understand. It never works.

[Andy Samberg]

This one. Never this thing.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's what I mean. He's like, I sent them all over town hoping for this moment. Here we go. But the fact that he could. Yeah, he loved his job.

[Andy Samberg]

I love that. Ke. Ke, did we. Did we talk about. Just because I still love this. Did we talk about when you had the snake problem on the show and. And KE was saying that he had a snake guy. And I was just starting to do.

[Akiva Schaffer]

The impression of he was putting up snake fence.

[Andy Samberg]

This is a snake guy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, we'd be in the studio recording songs for Pop Star, and my phone would ring and I'd be like, oh, shit, I gotta get it. It's my snake guy. And you guys are like, hello.

[Andy Samberg]

Akiba, who's the snake guy?

[Listener Caller]

The snake guy.

[Andy Samberg]

Do you have 10 minutes to talk?

[Akiva Schaffer]

He wasn't half snake. He was just putting up some snake feet.

[Jorma Taccone]

He was the guy who dealt with snakes. He wasn't a snake.

[Andy Samberg]

He was a Slytherin. He was in Slytherin.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's one of the main reasons you also don't want rodents. Cause then if there's rod, that's snake food, and then the snakes come.

[Jorma Taccone]

But like, it's known that a snake man is what you call a half snake, half person.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Or what about a snake man? Yeah, snake guy, like the Marvel comic.

[Andy Samberg]

You don't think a snake guy would be like a just laid back man who is half snake?

[Jorma Taccone]

I don't think there would. I just don't think anyone would ever see a half human man, half snake and go, it's a snake guy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I don't know who would win, Guy, Spider man or Snake Guy?

[Jorma Taccone]

There's no guy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay, I have a snake guy. He exists. Andy, now you're just getting weird.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, no, no, no. That guy exists and he should be called a snake guy. You did nothing wrong.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm just saying, I think that Andy, to answer your question, and to answer your question seriously, about that, of spider man versus snake guy, it depends. Because I think that if it's in a contest of who can relax more, I think a snake guy is going to win that contest. Yeah, yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

And that's a pretty common contest to have when you're talking about people versus each other. Also, Akiva asked the question. You are off the rails. You need.

[Andy Samberg]

I. You know what? No fucking way.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Wait, so wait, he did say, let's fucking go. It's less interesting, but it's similar in his enthusiasm, which is that he had come the month before because there had been some ants. He had found a paving stone, like on the grass in the backyard that he had lifted up. And he's like, I think I found the colony. And I just dumped a bunch of liquid down there. Well, let's see. And as of a day after it, I never saw another ant in the house. And he. He asked about it. He said, what about the ants? And I was like, haven't seen him since you found that colony. He was like, let's fucking go.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Ye. Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's out of. Let's fucking goes out of control. This is our standup collective. Standup now.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes. Well, actually, I don't know if he used that word on it. He probably just said, let's go. Yeah, it wouldn't be professional. I don't want to. I don't want to sell him under the bus.

[Jorma Taccone]

We would do a short about it now. It would cut around. You'd show, like, a doctor pulling a baby out during a birth.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes. It's reached everybody.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. What's another example of where it would happen?

[Andy Samberg]

Well, somebody said that to me today while driving in Brooklyn, but I don't think that they meant it like, it was fun.

[Jorma Taccone]

Like, it was like, they're like, you're going too slow.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's anywhere stuffy, like a ballet, or like, someone's hitting a bunch of, like, moves.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Because he also yelled drive right after that, too.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So he meant it in a different way.

[Andy Samberg]

What's funny is that he was crossing the street and wanting me to drive, but I had the light where I was like, dude, you're. You're illegally crossing the. Like, he screamed it at me too.

[Jorma Taccone]

When Keef says it at the ballet, though, he's talking to his wife saying, like, let's go.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not cultured, but it's because she.

[Andy Samberg]

Just go get some Doritos.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, let's go get some Doritos.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, it's because she said, you want to go home and do it? And then I said, you're like, oh, let's focus.

[Jorma Taccone]

You said it the other way.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

That's cool.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It would be pretty good in traffic to yell at somebody that's not moving, but yell it the way as it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Is in a positive way.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah. Like, they're not going. You're like, honk, honk, honk, honk. Let's fucking go.

[Andy Samberg]

Go.

[Jorma Taccone]

And they're like, wait, what do you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Want me to do? Like, you're celebrating the fact that I was texting at the red light. That's weird.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay. Okay. Speaking of that, I have always wanted to do this as a bit. Have I talked about this on this? Probably the pay it forward bit. This is kind of the opposite of the I think you should leave sketch, where it would be a pay it forward bit, where you pay for someone behind you, like, going onto a bridge, and then when they drive up next to you, then you flip them off super hard and, like, so that you're left with just like, I don't know how.

[Jorma Taccone]

Why'd they pay for it?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Like, that guy hates me.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But you took my money. He's like, no, I didn't.

[Jorma Taccone]

Let me say, if that happened to me.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

My takeaway would be.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. What?

[Jorma Taccone]

They just bought a free Getting to flip me off.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

You know what I mean?

[Andy Samberg]

That's. That's exactly what it would be. Yeah. If. If. If I had done it to you and you saw me, that's what it would be.

[Jorma Taccone]

God.

[Andy Samberg]

So you're right.

[Jorma Taccone]

I mean, if someone did that to me, I would laugh very hard, obviously.

[Andy Samberg]

And be confused for like a half hour.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's a great one. It's a good. You should actually try it out.

[Andy Samberg]

Although not in New York, though.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. Anyways.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, so what are we talking about, guys?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Dude. Well, so we don't have Seth. They did Criterion. We haven't heard it, so we can't reply. Also, it's not going to air till after this.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's not going to air.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Air. Post. It's not going to post. Okay.

[Jorma Taccone]

I guess this guy is running a movie studio. See a dinosaur.

[Akiva Schaffer]

A movie studio.

[Jorma Taccone]

Air. Theaters are dead.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Said like a network.

[Jorma Taccone]

Nothing works.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Or a radio.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'm about to stream Avatar 3 on.

[Andy Samberg]

My phone the way it was meant to be seen.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I don't think that that made any sense.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, more like my apple Watch. What else is smaller? Yorm.

[Andy Samberg]

Now that's it. That's the smallest.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay.

[Akiva Schaffer]

All right. I do have a bunch of questions since we're just fucking around here.

[Jorma Taccone]

Where's the burrito from? Yoram?

[Andy Samberg]

Buddies. Buddies. Burritos. I love the way the guy says that. He says, hello, buddies, and you call.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Him an order, like old school style.

[Andy Samberg]

When I do call him. I didn't call him though, this time. This was just a regular order. And I'm sorry that it got here. Well, I shouldn't be eating. This is disgusting. I'm sorry. I'm gonna say.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, really? No, that's not why I brought it up.

[Andy Samberg]

Is my mic hot enough for you?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

We only have one hour the whole week, but by all means, disgust us all in the ear holes with your burrito gunk.

[Andy Samberg]

I thought it was gonna come earlier. I thought.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But he's pretty laid back.

[Andy Samberg]

He is. He's a. He's a burrito guy. He's more of a burrito guy. He's not. He's not a burrito man. A burrito man would be on time when it says 6:40. He would be here at 6:40. Burrito guy. Fucking chilling. You never know what you're gonna get.

[Jorma Taccone]

I think maybe you got your burrito made by a snake guy is what happened.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Snake guy, remember? Remember karate guy, Guys, I like to kick it. I'm a burrito guy.

[Andy Samberg]

Chop chop. Yum, yum.

[Jorma Taccone]

So Good. I think Karate Guy is easily my favorite of our songs. It's definitely our best song. Hit us in the Titus criterion.

[Akiva Schaffer]

The verses of Karate Guy are very funny and I stand by it and I like them.

[Jorma Taccone]

Karate Guy's funny.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, we'll do an episode on it.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's definitely our best and most popular song. That's all I'm saying.

[Akiva Schaffer]

People are always quoting about the backwards logic, like backing into. Do you remember what the verses are, Andy?

[Andy Samberg]

They're all just like being in a cowboy.

[Jorma Taccone]

When I say kick it, I don't.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Mean yeah, I mean chilling. But it doesn't have to be cold. It can be any temperature. Yeah, 60 or oh God, like brain dead.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's frustrating.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's just saying one thing and then backtracking trying to explain it the entire time.

[Andy Samberg]

I wonder if there's any karate studios that have played that to like motivate people. Probably not.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I would guess it's a missed opportunity.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, I haven't been on since I finally saw the show. Haha. You clowns. Have you guys seen it? Keith, I know you have.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah, I've seen them all now. All the ones that are out. Yorm, you're going to love it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. I highly recommend anyone out there who is a comedy person.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's an adult swim. It's on HBO app. It's an adult swim swim. It's 10 minutes long.

[Jorma Taccone]

I won't say anything more.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah. Great.

[Akiva Schaffer]

There's only nine of them so far.

[Jorma Taccone]

Spectacular.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Why don't we talk about it next week now that we'll have given Yorm and the quades a moment to catch up.

[Jorma Taccone]

Perfect.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And then we talk about it the whole lap while Seth stares at us.

[Jorma Taccone]

Great.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What do you think Questlove said? Do you think he said that Cherry Battles, his favorite of all of them?

[Jorma Taccone]

I kind of feel like no, that's.

[Andy Samberg]

That surprised me a lot that that ham was as. As geeked on it. I mean, I think it's great.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But here's a question about their criterion that we'll learn when the Quaid's learn is. Do you think they went just from the Mike Schur Tapper episode the next chunk, or did they do all from the start up to there? Like did they relitigate the ones from the beginning?

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Kevin, you can tell us.

[Jorma Taccone]

Next chunk or Jeff, he wrote next chunk.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, he wrote it. Sorry they picked up. They didn't talk any shit about the previous guys.

[Andy Samberg]

I thought he meant like get to the next chunk.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He fucking next chunk, please.

[Andy Samberg]

Next Chunk. Move on, next chunk.

[Jorma Taccone]

Or he's saying one of us is going to play the next chunk in the gooney sequel.

[Andy Samberg]

I would bulk up for that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He's like looking at you. You're the next chunk. You know, we always talk about. On this pod, we're always talking in chunks. We're like, oh, then we'll do a chunk on Cherry Battle. Then we can do a chunk on.

[Jorma Taccone]

Q and A chunk it up.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay, we did Snake Guy. That's a ch.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Remember when we did the chunk on Winter Soldier? Each a perfect pod. Episod. Six chunks. It took us a while to figure it out, but then we figured out a podcast episode made of six distinct chunks.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'll be honest, I. I know that one was eight chunks, but it still worked for me.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's what's so crazy about. I was listening to Good Hang the Polar podcast and it was like the chunks were all over the place. And I was like, you can't do that.

[Jorma Taccone]

I do not listen to podcasts. So I didn't really get that reference.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You've been on it, so I know you do.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'll have to take your word for that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You just thought you were just having a good time.

[Andy Samberg]

He's only on podcasts.

[Jorma Taccone]

I mean, she's my friend. Is that what you mean?

[Andy Samberg]

She's my friend?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I thought she was recording your conversation.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. I mean, for posterity. Is that what that means?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. She was like, I just want to get this down.

[Andy Samberg]

I just want to remember you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

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[Akiva Schaffer]

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[Akiva Schaffer]

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[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, of course.

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[Akiva Schaffer]

I will soon.

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[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, tell me about it. These are germ factories is what you're getting at, right?

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[Akiva Schaffer]

It's true. And it's so cold out, you need to have a robust multivitamin. That's what you always tell me, right?

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[Akiva Schaffer]

And I have trouble swallowing pills, so I like a drink. Right?

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[Akiva Schaffer]

And the color of the green drink that you saw me drink looked yummy or gross. No comment. You're such a good spokesperson. Listen, I'll tell you the truth. I used to sometimes drink green drinks in the early 2000s with lots of spirulina and they didn't taste very good. But I did. They sent some AG1 to the house and I did have one the other day and it tasted delicious and I was happy to drink it and it was easy. So I actually did try this.

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[Akiva Schaffer]

That's true. That's what you're looking forward to?

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[Jorma Taccone]

We want to wait till the end to hear what I did on spelling bee. Is that right?

[Andy Samberg]

Yes. Yes, please. Open it up.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Otherwise, everyone tunes out. We know we have the metrics, Andy.

[Jorma Taccone]

All right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

If they hear what you got, they leave. Then they don't hear the ads. Jeff, how many ads do we do? Because we never hear it with the ads. And then in this Q and A doc you gave me, you gave me somebody complaining that there's too many ads.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, we get a lot of complaints about the ads, but we don't do that many. Do about like, four an episode.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Usually four ads or four breaks.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's usually two breaks with two ads in each. Sometimes we'll do up to three ads in a break.

[Andy Samberg]

That's not that bad.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So question, did that comment come from YouTube? Does YouTube ads end up compounding? Because there's the ads in the podcast and then the YouTube ads.

[Jorma Taccone]

That is correct. On YouTube, yes, but we don't control the YouTube ads. Ah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Did that comment come from YouTube?

[Jorma Taccone]

That came from the email. I don't know where that person.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh. Where they listen, but I bet you it's that. I bet you that we're getting double ads on the YouTube ones.

[Andy Samberg]

Just to be clear, we do not consider the ads a chunk.

[Jorma Taccone]

Definitely not.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Our six parts does not include the ads.

[Andy Samberg]

No, no chunks.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I also just want to point out Yoram took more bites of his burrito.

[Andy Samberg]

I did, but I was doing it while Kiva's wasting time talking about fucking ads.

[Jorma Taccone]

Wasting time.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Wasting time. I was trying to. There's a qu. First off, we love our Quaid.

[Jorma Taccone]

For someone who claims to care about Quaid Army. Yorm, that was pretty cold, dude.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, we love our Quaid. We do it all for them.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And the ad money is negligible. It is. Let's see here.

[Jorma Taccone]

We'd have better luck buying a bunch of scratchers, guys.

[Akiva Schaffer]

How about that Powerball? It's up to, like, 1.2. You guys get a ticket?

[Jorma Taccone]

One, two. Billy.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, I do like getting involved when it's up that high.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But no, I meant to buy one today because it sends my kids into, like, a fantasy land for the few days before.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, yeah. It's like, just like you could buy an island of candy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. They're just like, wait, this piece of paper could be worth that much money? And they just thought, well, we wouldn't get rid of our house. We just get another house. Right? They. They're thinking it all.

[Andy Samberg]

They just immediately go to all the crap.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm like, well, first thing we'd have to do is they always make you take a photo. So we'd all have to hire a film prosthetics guy to give us all disguises. Because I explained to them how people that win the lottery get targeted.

[Andy Samberg]

That's what you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So I start making it kind of like more of a nightmare scenario. I'm like, also, you lose drive. You don't understand what to do with your life anymore. Once we live in a capitalist society and it's so ingrained in you that if money gets taken completely off the table, you float in a completely aimless way.

[Andy Samberg]

How do they take this? Because I don't think that this is a joke that you said this to them.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Then I just hang the ticket in their bedroom. So they have, like, kind of nightmares about it.

[Andy Samberg]

Like a dream catcher, like a reverse dreamcatcher.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And then by the time the numbers are called, they're hoping to lose.

[Andy Samberg]

Gotcha.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And then they celebrate the life they had all along.

[Jorma Taccone]

You know what I say? I'm like, what is it at 1.2 billion?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

If you win that, then maybe you can pay for private school.

[Andy Samberg]

Thank you, Andy.

[Jorma Taccone]

You're very welcome.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Can't wait for your Quibi special. Oh, Andy, we forgot to tell everybody that because he says Quibi so much. Quibi's back.

[Jorma Taccone]

Quibi's back.

[Akiva Schaffer]

They want him to be the first special bro.

[Jorma Taccone]

If Quibi came back, I would do. How many? It would be like nine, ten minute chunks. I mean, Quibi's kind of the original chunks.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I think they were five minutes. Were they 10? Maybe they were five.

[Andy Samberg]

I think they were 10. Mostly.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I don't know. I Never. This is going to sound weird, but I never watched something on Quibi. I know. I'm the weird guy. Hey, guys. James says I'm an avid listener of the podcast, but it seems like there's been progressively more and more ads every week. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm pressing the skip button 40 times every episode. I was listening to the Cherry Battle episode and thinking about how I was finally going to write and complain about it. But then Seth made the comment that you guys make a podcast with four hosts and it's half ads. At first I felt vindicated that Seth acknowledged all the ads. Then I got irritated that you're self aware and do it. Anyways, thanks for making content that's 50% entertaining. Well, first off, I take umbrage because we put work into some of the ads we do to make them a little bit more entertaining than your average ad. But you wouldn't know that, James, because you skip them.

[Andy Samberg]

We try. We do try, but we can try harder to make the ads funnier.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But anyways, we already addressed his complaint, so, you know, fair enough.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. No, no, no. I mean, it makes me feel bad. I'll say that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Let's just say, James, I wrote my kids into them and you skip past them. You should look in the mirror, James. Think about what kind of person you want to be.

[Jorma Taccone]

You've already seen this key, but I wanted to pop this in.

[Andy Samberg]

Wait, are you guys all reading the questions? I'm not reading.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, no, no. I've just popped in something I made today and sent to Chris Parnell and Matt Murray, who wrote the sketch in question.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, really good.

[Jorma Taccone]

So there's a movie out called Merv about a dog, and I got the poster and added the perv under it. Cause Parnell used to do a sketch.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Called Zoey Deschanel and Charlie Cox rom com. It's Christmasy. There's mistletoe above them or above the dog. I choose to think in this rendition that mistletoe is the dog and he's got his. And he's right in front of you. Clearly, Merv's his name and it's Merv the Perv. And he's like, huh, Wanna kiss? Because there's mistletoe right above it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes.

[Andy Samberg]

By the way, that's describing a huge part of my life. Like, my dog is definitely. He's Fang the perv, but he's full on perv.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, maybe you should have named him Merv.

[Jorma Taccone]

So anyways, I sent that to Parnell and Matt Murray and I said, you guys sold out.

[Akiva Schaffer]

They wrote the Murv the Perv story and turned him into a dog.

[Jorma Taccone]

And Panther said, Matt Murray said, sold out. You have no idea how long it took Parnell to get into that makeup.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, it is Parnell. And he's not just doing the voice. He is the dog.

[Andy Samberg]

Fucking panther. What a killer. Can we get fucking Panther on the show? Jesus.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes, Kevin, I agree. Merv of the Perv is one of my all time favorite sketch theme songs.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I don't remember how it went, but.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, sing it for us, please.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's love. It's a crazy roller coaster ride. There's no jokes in it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, that he's Murph the Pervin and.

[Jorma Taccone]

Laughing and living life together. Murph the Perv. That's Merv the Perv. It's pretty much just that.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, it's really good.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's like an 80s sitcom.

[Jorma Taccone]

Something deep inside it feels like it's.

[Andy Samberg]

Based on Three's Company almost. Because Three's Company is a very pervy theme song as well.

[Jorma Taccone]

I just couldn't. I just couldn't disagree more with what you just said.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yor. Oh, it doesn't.

[Jorma Taccone]

And it's not based on Three's Company.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Jeez. Andy's got a little bit glassy eyed. He's really weird.

[Andy Samberg]

So the kisses are hers and hers and his Three's Company too. Like, you don't think that line was. Yeah, it might be.

[Jorma Taccone]

You very well may be right. I take back my anger that was so overwhelming that I started crying.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Let's fucking go.

[Andy Samberg]

Go. You can only do it now, guys.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Honk, honk, honk.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, actually, I was wrong. We do have one wood coffin left. Let's fucking. That was another example.

[Akiva Schaffer]

All right, I have a cool photo. I'll just skip to the important part. This is from Laura. She's from the bay. And she made a patch for a Vietnam era US army jacket that she has.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And it's pretty cool. Share screen.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, that is sick, bro. That is really cool.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, it's a Quaid army patch.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's a Quaid army patch. And it's fully embroidered, which she told me how she told us. Hold on. This is my design, hand embroidered with cotton floss on a Vietnam era U.S. army jacket. So, yeah, so it's got six parts. It's almost like. What would you call it? Like a coat of arms.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, almost exactly the things that represent us.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And it's got a pirate flag for Jack Sparrow. It's got a boat it's got a little cat that says click, click, pew, pew, pew. It's got sushi, it's got cupcakes, and it's got the boxes, and it says Quaid Army. Very lovely underneath. And then here's the whole jacket, just so you can see.

[Andy Samberg]

That is so sick.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Whoa.

[Jorma Taccone]

What else is on it, though, though? I want to know what kind of company.

[Andy Samberg]

Zoom in, because.

[Akiva Schaffer]

All right. Yeah. What's she into here?

[Jorma Taccone]

What else is in there?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, cool spider web design.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So it looks like the top is like a cornucopia of flowers with maybe a spider web. Maybe there's a little spider right there. And then this looks like a little kitten kind of one. Like a button. Like another spider web on a. Going up to some sort of a tall redwood tree. Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay.

[Jorma Taccone]

I fucks with this.

[Akiva Schaffer]

This one looks like it's one of the SS kind of armbands.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was why I was saying, zoom in.

[Andy Samberg]

Andy fucks with it. Moving on.

[Jorma Taccone]

Wait, no, that did.

[Akiva Schaffer]

All right, wait, I got another one. You'll be able to see it right here.

[Andy Samberg]

That's so great.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, that's beautiful work.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Here's another. You know, Quaid army out in the real world. Keith thought you might like this. Customade font, accurate license plate frame. What do you guys think? Criterion or copyright infringement? Qu army for life? Queen be all you can be. P.S. my son thinks young fans should be called quadlings.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, strong.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Agree. So he. He blurred his license paid number, so we can't see it. But look how good that thing is. That's also really good. That's. So that's the total recall font for Kuai army and then the Righteous Kill font for Righteous Kill, Although I'm not sure.

[Andy Samberg]

Really good. Really good.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What is this little hill with a little blue sun or. Or an ekg. I'm not sure what those are. It could be an ekg, but it just looks good. Maybe just a design choice, but lovely. You should sell those.

[Andy Samberg]

That's great. Yeah, that's awesome.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And give me the profits.

[Jorma Taccone]

Sell them and give us the profits.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, it's Hamilton.

[Jorma Taccone]

Hamilton.

[Andy Samberg]

You know, a woman named Julie just sent me some pins that she made that were wonderful and the best one said, ask me about my Razzie nomination.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's very good.

[Andy Samberg]

Really, really like that. Thank you, Julie. She made a bunch of different ones. Maybe I'll bring it down in a little bit, but, yeah, it's great.

[Akiva Schaffer]

All right, so I've got a section here on ideas on how we could Keep the podcast going. But I feel like that should have Seth.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. And maybe not have me.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jorma Taccone]

Although one of them, Norm's going for his burrito. Sorry. Yeah. Chow down, piggy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

One really stuck out to me, which was an NYPD Blue rewatch podcast. I kind of thought that might be good. Where if it's all of us and all our homework assignment is they're probably 42 minutes, 45 max every week. We just have to make sure we each have watched it. And we're like, all right, we're on season one, episode four of NYPD Blue. What happened this week, guys? And we just talk about what happened on that week's episode.

[Andy Samberg]

End ypdp. It might be unbearable for us, but it sounds really funny. It sounds like very, very funny.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's a good performance art if nothing else.

[Andy Samberg]

I think it's that. Yes, you've cracked something on that one, Keith.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, yeah, it wasn't mine. I mean, these are the. These are. These are submitted quit artists.

[Andy Samberg]

There's just wonderful people.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. I can hear the tin, foil and paper from your burrito. Pretty, pretty warm in my ears.

[Andy Samberg]

Hello, buddies.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know what? Let's just. Let's just stop for a second. Yorm. Is it good?

[Andy Samberg]

It's okay.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What's in it?

[Andy Samberg]

Just like, it's very basic. It's very basic.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Is it Bay Area style? Looks like a big fatty.

[Andy Samberg]

It's a big fatty. It's just a chicken burrito. But I would say it's real normal. It's not really worth talking about as much as I'm interrupting.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Let me throw this out there. LA has amazing Mexican food, obviously. Why wouldn't it? Yes, but what it doesn't have that, oddly New York has, is ripoff style of San Francisco Bay Area burritos.

[Andy Samberg]

That is true. But. But if you order burrito, I'm gonna beep that when that comes out of my mouth. Beep that. You spend, I think, 28 to $30 to have a burrito delivered to your house, which is not worth it. It's tiny.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's crazy.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But there's a few places, like, even the one you're eating right now looks like a bay one. And I'm saying there's almost nowhere here. Even though they have amazing burritos, but they're just different style. And for some reason, no one has opened a burrito place. Like, on some level, Chipotle is the closest you're getting, and that's not really close, but at least it's the size and style of Wrap.

[Jorma Taccone]

You're saying like mission style?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, a mission style burrito. But why? Why don't they exist down here?

[Andy Samberg]

Why don't we open one? Since culturally we. It's not appropriation. It was just like, you know, but.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Shout out to Sonora Town for an amazing burrito. But it's just not that style. It's a very different style.

[Jorma Taccone]

We all fucks with Sonoratown.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Let's not get it twisted. Hey, guys, small other thing I mentioned Britbox very fast last week when I was trying to figure out where we could watch Graham Norton, and they sent to our office a little gift thing that was a pair of scissors and some gift wrap and some ribbon. Just saying, hey, to wrap your gifts.

[Andy Samberg]

Really?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

That's nice.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, why not?

[Jorma Taccone]

I guess So I suppose we answered the question. You can be bought.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Very easily.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That was a free ad.

[Andy Samberg]

Send us more shit. Whoever we talk about.

[Akiva Schaffer]

The pistachio lobby's pissed right now. They're like, why do we pay when this Brit box just sent over some wrapping paper and a pair of scissors?

[Jorma Taccone]

If you want, send Akiva a single pistachio and he'll probably shout you out.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Speaking of things that got sent to us, tell us about the Spotify thing that for some reason you got and none of us did.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Okay.

[Andy Samberg]

It's very strange to me, and I think that Jeff needs to hop on and explain it, but I got an award from Spotify and I assumed you guys got the same one. Although it was very specific and it said that I was. I was all around great guy and a crate digger. And it was the wrapped award. And I don't know what it was.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But it's like, is it heavy arm? It looks legit.

[Andy Samberg]

It's like a legit award. But then the little plaque on it looks like it was like, hey, let's fuck around and slap this on there for this guy. Which is. It's still a very nice gesture. And they came with some very nice chocolates, as I made you jealous of. Because I assumed that you also.

[Akiva Schaffer]

We were on FaceTime playing video games, and Jorm was like, you know what? The Spotify chocolate chocolates are actually pretty good. And I was like.

[Andy Samberg]

And I got this cool water bottle.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I was like, what are you talking about?

[Jorma Taccone]

I'm gonna throw up. Look, you have food on your face, stuck in your beard, and you're so close to the mic.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm my father's son, Andy.

[Jorma Taccone]

Am I gonna an excuse?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I want the chocolates. You wanna put the chocolates. Put one chocolate in the mail.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm the eating guy.

[Jorma Taccone]

Stop eating.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't. It's dinner time here. Andy. I'm my father's son and. Ugh.

[Jorma Taccone]

My father's son holds zero water.

[Andy Samberg]

Well, it explains the food all over my mouth.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay, this is from Barbara. Hi, Lonely island and Seth. I am a most unlikely soldier in the Kuwait Army. I'm a 43 year old mom living in Asheville, North Carolina. First off, that I think is pretty normal, but in high school and college, I watched SNL sporadically, but not every week. Sure, I have not kept up with SNL over the past two decades. I have never seen Late Night with Seth Meyers and I have never heard of the Lonely Island.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay, starting to become more of an unusual.

[Andy Samberg]

I like this so far.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I was a freshman in college when Dick in a Box first aired on Snell, so I definitely knew that song, but I didn't know it was created by the Lonely Island. I know this email may be starting off like a slap in the face.

[Jorma Taccone]

Gonna say, kind of making me feel insecure.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Quite an accomplishment.

[Andy Samberg]

This is the demo I want, honestly.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But I think it's quite an accomplishment to gain a loyal follower from a person who has virtually zero ties to any of you. I have listened to and caps loved every single episode of the podcast. I have learned about you and I feel like I've gotten to know each of you through listening each week. The unique voice and personality of each of you that each of you bring to the table is just perfection. At first. I would watch the digital short before starting an episode, but honestly, I don't even do that anymore. I love listening to the four of you banter, reminisce, rag on each other, love on each other, and talk about Queen being.

[Jorma Taccone]

Thank you.

[Andy Samberg]

Can I say something? I don't like the ragging. I don't like the ragging and I would like it to stop.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Just keep up the great work and all the winter soldiers.

[Jorma Taccone]

Try not to get food on your mic, please.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, that is unique.

[Andy Samberg]

A prime example. Prime example.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I certainly would assume that anybody, Barbara, that listens to this, at least minimum, has a point of entry of being either into the Lonely island work or Seth Meyers work or at least SNL overall in a serious way. So welcome.

[Andy Samberg]

I would like a follow up. I would like a follow up from Barbara. It was just how it happened that you would stumble across this.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Why did you ever hit play? Barbara? We have a follow up. Why did you ever hit play in the first place.

[Andy Samberg]

Hit us back, please. On the Titus.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's the surprising part.

[Jorma Taccone]

Hit us near, on or around anywhere near a Titus. Some kind of titus in the general vicinitus. Vicinitus Just hit us in the general vicinitus of the titatus of the Titus.

[Andy Samberg]

That's real punchy in the jeans.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's not good enough. I was workshopping it live and it backfired. It's like Birbiglia's, right? Yoram, your neighbor.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

You gotta get it on its feet. You gotta try stuff. Guys, perfect place to do it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay, next one is from Zachary. Hi, Quaides. I just want to follow up on Shayna's email from the Cherry Battle. Just so you know, Andy Shayna during the Cherry Battle, is a New York Times writer, but works for Wirecutter. And we discussed Wirecutter because she was like, I don't work for the games. Wirecutter is the thing that reviews products.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, so it's like a Consumer Reports for online.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes. Correct.

[Jorma Taccone]

Great.

[Andy Samberg]

You've never heard of Wirecutter? Really?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Nope.

[Andy Samberg]

He's not real selective. New York Times.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He's just on the games, guys.

[Andy Samberg]

Myopic.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay, so I also work at the New York Times, but not for New York Times games. Although I did write the New York Jets Connections game a couple months ago. I work at the Athletic, and I have read things from the Athletic. I know that you guys like sports and you don't care who knows from Wimbledon to the Super Bowl. So I think you'd like it. I've read articles on the Athletic before. It's a sports thing.

[Andy Samberg]

When did you become a sports nut, man? I feel kind of a betrayal here.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, I don't look for it. It's because I read the New York Times, and then it'll sometimes get to an athlete, and I'll be just scrolling down, looking for articles, and then a headline will grab me, something that. That interests me, like, taylor Swift goes to a game. You know?

[Andy Samberg]

Or like, that's the time. Thank you. Thank you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

JLo's gonna play the halftime show. You know, whatever it is. Like, check out their butts. There's a lot of cute butts on the football team.

[Andy Samberg]

You know, they write articles like that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yep, that's the Athletic right back here.

[Andy Samberg]

You know what?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm sold.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm gonna check in. Great. Cute butts on the football team.

[Jorma Taccone]

That was an article written by the Scooch from Mondo Butts.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It was trying to be a Mondo Butts reference.

[Andy Samberg]

You gotta check out the butts on the football team.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I couldn't quite get my mondo butts scooch A.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's now legendary. Never aired and not good.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Zachary's email goes on, but it ends with, will you guys be doing an I think you should leave episode? Would love to hear Tim and Zach come on the show. Yeah, we could probably do that. Just like a general one.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, those guys are real funny.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Or make them talk about one sketch for a while.

[Jorma Taccone]

Do they ever do podcasts?

[Akiva Schaffer]

One thing they love doing is explaining their jokes.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, that's what they love during their show.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, they hate it, but so do we when they're fresh. This is a different thing.

[Andy Samberg]

Thing.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay, this is another New York Times person.

[Andy Samberg]

Ready? Okay.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So basically, I guess when we gave Shine to one New York Times writer, the others heard it and are like, what about me, Michael? Hey, Quaid's Loyaliston here. Although I will admit I usually turn the pot off once I find out whether or not Andy is quibbied.

[Andy Samberg]

Thank you. Keep it at the end.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Unlike some of your emailers, I actually do work for the New York Times games.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm writing to ask that you please refrain from future discussion of other New York Times sub brands, including the Athletics cooking Audio and especially wire cutter. Your listeners don't want to hear about boring like smoke detectors. Give them what they came to you for an extended discussion of Penta facta Strat.

[Andy Samberg]

This is great.

[Jorma Taccone]

We're getting into some, like, turf wars now.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, some beef crosses. Crosshair beef. This is cross office beef.

[Akiva Schaffer]

P. S. George Zimmer was my friend's dad and coached my youth soccer team. I guarantee it.

[Andy Samberg]

Wow.

[Jorma Taccone]

So many Zimmer connections.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Facts.

[Andy Samberg]

Zimmer is like, just those mental.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And I guess these are Bay people then as well. Or. And this is just a theory, it's all a lie. This guy doesn't even exist. He just wrote it in.

[Jorma Taccone]

Whoa. It's a catfish.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Yo, you talking about the Matrix?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, I think. I think the person who wrote it exists. I just think that they may have.

[Andy Samberg]

Made up a person. They don't. Kee.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, you think that's doing it too?

[Andy Samberg]

That's an AI person, dude.

[Jorma Taccone]

Even in the Matrix, though, people exist. They're just in those little pods.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, they don't. They're just batteries.

[Andy Samberg]

You gotta see the movie, dude.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You're saying this dude's a battery?

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Keef.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Keefe.

[Jorma Taccone]

Keef. Sorry, sorry.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You're saying Michael's a battery?

[Jorma Taccone]

No, we got the movie.

[Andy Samberg]

Doesn't even exist.

[Jorma Taccone]

We gotta lay off your arm. I just realized he has burrito brain.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, shit.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, I think you're saying you have to lay off me because that's ribbing and we don't do that anymore.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, we definitely do that. But I'm going to take it easy on you because our little guy's got burrito brain.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, man.

[Andy Samberg]

Giving me an opportunity.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Major case of the bbs.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, look, he's going to. He's doubling down. He's to going to eat more. Oh, wow. That's how you pay everyone back for handcrafting you gifts for your own dumbass choice to climb a ladder.

[Andy Samberg]

It was already established, Andy, on Reddit, that I was faking it.

[Jorma Taccone]

What are you doing on Reddit? Get off of there.

[Andy Samberg]

No, I know. We read. We read things. I don't read it. Promise.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, you were on read it.

[Andy Samberg]

No. Why does that give me. Why is that funny at all?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Support comes from Viori. Now that it's getting cool out, I'm wearing my beach fleece crew. How cool do I look in that? When you see me in my beach fleece crew, you're like, damn, my dad looks good, right?

[Ad Voice]

He looks ready to shop a bunch of errands.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I look ready to shop a bunch of errands at hip cool stores. Sure, you heard it here. It's the ideal fleece to wear as the weather starts to get chilly. It's even made from 71% recycled fabrics. That's nice. Leaving something for your generation, am I right?

[Ad Voice]

I mean, I'm in the climate action team at school, so I'm in full support of recycled materials.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thank you. For casual, I wear the Sunday performance joggers and they're awesome. They wick moisture and the fabric is so comfortable. Do you have something to add?

[Ad Voice]

Oh, yeah. So when my mom wears Viori, she looks ready for tennis and she looks like she's about to ace her first serve. And usually I think she does.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, and you attribute that to her Viori looks.

[Ad Voice]

It could definitely play a factor in her winning.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's a really, really strong theory. You guys heard that here? Well, when I'm gonna exercise, I wear my favorite core short. The one short every sport. They are stylish and comfortable enough to wear all day, which I do. And you always say, oh my God, dad, you've been wearing those shorts all day. Are they comfortable?

[Ad Voice]

I do ask that. And you still haven't answered.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's my little secret. They're soft and lightweight and they have four way performance stretch with A breathable boxer brief liner. Is that tmi?

[Ad Voice]

Definitely, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You didn't need to know about my boxer brief liner, but now you do, and it's, you know, that's part of life. Okay. The last thing I ordered on there, I'll tell you this, was the seaside pullover hoodie and the seaside straight leg sweatpants. And it was some new stuff that have, like, they're, like, relaxed, and I think they're, like, lightweight with a heavyweight feel. I mean, I. I haven't actually got them yet, but I'm pretty excited for it. Look them up for our listeners. They are offering 20 off your first purchase. Go to vuori.com island that's V-U-O-R-I.com island exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Support for the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb. Hey, everybody. Akiva here. I'm going to tell you a little story about when we went to North Carolina and we needed somewhere to stay on a lake. We were meeting up with another part of Liz's family, some people actually flying in from Denmark. So we rented this big house, and it was right on this lake in North Carolina, and it was a blast. We had, you know, the kitchen and the backyard had a hammock and. Oh, somebody's here. Hello.

[Ad Voice]

Hello.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, who are you?

[Ad Voice]

I'm Sarah, and I'm here to tell you, have you ever considered that while you're on vacation that you could put your own house on Airbnb at the same time?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Wow. So you're saying when I'm at the lake paying for a house on Airbnb that I found through Airbnb, I could actually have put my home that I own on Airbnb and be making money, and so then it's like a free vacation. Is that right, Sarah?

[Ad Voice]

Yes. And you could even end up getting paid more than you're paying.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, my gosh. So I could actually make money to go on vacation? Possibly.

[Ad Voice]

That's what I'm saying.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thanks for the great information and good advice. You're gone now. Okay, well, I'm on my own. Well, your home might be worth more than you think.

[Ad Voice]

Find out how [e-mail] Host support comes from Wonderful pistachios.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Wonderful pistachios is the don't hold back snack. They're healthy and they're tasty, so you can snack without holding back. Wonderful pistachios is the craveable snack that tastes too good to be good for you. Irresistible flavors Honey Roasted Jalapeno Lime Chili Roasted. Bring the heat, the sweet or the kick to keep you coming back for more. With 6 grams of protein per serving and 0 grams of regret, wonderful pistachios are one of the highest protein snack nuts. If you don't believe me, ask Akiva. You didn't send anything in.

[Andy Samberg]

Great.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

No shells, no limits. Don't hold back on flavors or convenience. I'll tell you what I like is just eating a ton of pistachios. And I'll tell you what I don't like, when I forget to hide the shells. And then my wife comes home and says, did you eat all of the wonderful pistachios? And I say, no, I didn't. And then she'll say, well, where are all these shells from? And I'll say, your guess is as good as mine. Visit wonderful pistachios.com to learn more.

Shopping is hard, right? But I found a better way. Stitch fix online. Personal styling makes it easy. I just give my stylist my size, style and budget preferences. I order boxes when I want and how I want. No subscription required. And he sends just for me, pieces, plus outfit recommendations and styling tips. I keep what works and send back the rest. It's so easy. Make style easy. Get started [e-mail] Spotify. That's stitchfix.com Spotify.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Here's some common questions, guys. Gremlins is not child appropriate according to many Quaid's. Because one of the characters says that Santa isn't real.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, that's quite true.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

[Jorma Taccone]

Also, it's not child appropriate because it's scary.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, they throw one in a blender and shit. It scarred me when I first saw it.

[Andy Samberg]

No way. It's hilarious.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But Seth is the one that asked and he's not on here, so he's not getting that information right now.

[Andy Samberg]

No, but that's a real. And is it proven in the movie that Santa's not real, though?

[Akiva Schaffer]

You can't prove it literally. You want to prove it to me right now?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, you're right. And you're right. You're right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's why it's always fine. You can never prove he doesn't exist.

[Jorma Taccone]

Exactly. Exactly. That's what this pod's actually about.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Listen, a lot of Quaid's responding to Akiva's Airbnb read that. I did with one of my kids and we talked about how my idiot from James.

[Andy Samberg]

James didn't. James doesn't know about that. This.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, he doesn't. And we talked about how my in laws came and they stayed in Airbnb. They're wondering why I don't have a big enough house for my in laws. They assume I make enough money for movies and podcasts to afford a bigger house.

[Andy Samberg]

No, you're just a dick.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, I, I. But I don't actually. There is one extra bed in our house, but it's in the room I'm using as an office that I'm in right now. And it has the exercise machine and it's a mess. And ke.

[Jorma Taccone]

Open your wallet.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I don't make enough guys, so thanks for rubbing it in.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay, well, then here's an idea. Genius.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Make more. The I want to, but James won't sit through the ads.

[Andy Samberg]

James, it's your fault.

[Jorma Taccone]

I think we just realized why Keith will sell out for a single pistache. This guy's hard up.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I couldn't afford wrapping paper. It was a. It was great. Abigail. Hello, Quaids. First off, I want to tell Jorma that I'm really glad he ended up all right after the fall. Even if this message is a bit delayed, I would also like to give my condolences to Seth for Frisbee. Another delayed message. I am a 14 year old human being who dressed up as your old boss, Lorne Michaels for Halloween. It may sound surprising, but I do have friends. Though none of them know who Lorne Michaels is. Those mugless losers. Anyway, love the pod and of course, the digital shorts. Thank you, Seth, for the late nighting. I watch your show every morning before school. Andy, you're just kind of awesome and funny with everything. Kiva, Naked Gun was so good and I wish I could watch it again, but I don't have Paramount and Jorma. I can relate, as I'm also the short one of all my friends.

[Andy Samberg]

All right, I'll take it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Bring balconies to Second Chance Theater. Also, can we have Lauren and Arnold as guests on the pod? Then there's a photo, though. Let's see what this photo is. Hold on.

[Andy Samberg]

Can I just say, while we're looking at this photo, Abigail is like one of my favorite names of all time. I use it all, like anytime I make my up a story, it's Abigail. Oh, Abigail, you're rad. Oh, and you have a little Emmy.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Dressed as Abigail, dressed as Lauren holding the award.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, my God, Abigail.

[Andy Samberg]

Me and Keith were the shortest people forever the moment we cracked five feet. We talked about this on the pod. I'm sure, but, like, you're great.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes. And our kids Are tiny equally short.

[Jorma Taccone]

I was also very short. I don't know why you're excluding me.

[Andy Samberg]

Well, now you're a constituent.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, because we were buds in seventh grade. By the time we met you, we'd all had a little growth spurts.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, but in junior high and freshman year of high school, I was short.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And then I have this other one here. This is from Philippa. How would you say that in a British accent?

[Andy Samberg]

Philippi.

[Akiva Schaffer]

This is Brian.

[Andy Samberg]

Phillipe wrote Philippa.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Philippa. In England, a Christmas gnome is also called a gonk. Proof attached. So every time I walk past a large display of gonks, I say, not a gonk for nobody's enjoyment except my own. Love the Pod. And happy holidays from true, truly very foggy London town Wild.

[Jorma Taccone]

Because she's saying it when it is a gonk.

[Andy Samberg]

That's a gonk.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Now, here it is.

[Jorma Taccone]

Wait, does it say go? You gotta zoom in on the label down there. Does it say.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, she did it for us.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, happy gonk.

[Akiva Schaffer]

These are happy gonks. That would cost this much.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, we gotta move there.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And then the happy gonk extra large is 19.99.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, that's pounds, Keith. What is it in dollars?

[Andy Samberg]

24.

[Jorma Taccone]

Don't ask. Yorm. No.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yorm.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's not good.

[Andy Samberg]

No, no. $24. Let me get. Yes. God help him.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Right? I feel like it's become equal. It might be right, but maybe that's not still true. Andy, you're the last one who was in Foggy. No.

[Jorma Taccone]

Pounds worth more. Come on.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, I was way wrong. It's 26.7, so it's 34.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You're right, Andy. It's still something.

[Andy Samberg]

I was right. I. I'm. I'm not right.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, you're not. Ever.

[Andy Samberg]

Unbelievable.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So, Andy, you're right.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm the stats guy now.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, you're the burrito boy with burrito brain. Oh, there it is.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Maybe both.

[Andy Samberg]

Why do we have to label everything?

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, really? God, Andy, why do we have to label everything?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, that. He has burrito in my mouthful.

[Andy Samberg]

What?

[Jorma Taccone]

It'd be like he's, like, scarfing his fucking burrito. That he admitted he doesn't like.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm almost done. It's fine. It's sustenance. It's fine.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, my God. Hey, speaking of other things, I watched. I watched Sarah Sherman's comedy Special in Love.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, I bet that's great.

[Jorma Taccone]

Highly recommend. But I will also say, not for the squeamish or the squirmish. It is fucking disgusting. And it's so incredible.

[Andy Samberg]

Will you give one example of how disgusting it is?

[Jorma Taccone]

There are visuals that you will never be able to unsee. Like it's very, very aggressively disgusting on purpose.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay.

[Jorma Taccone]

Like Cronenberg y level disgustingness.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's like if. If like Pee Wee and Cronenberg made a special together and the host of it was Sarah Golly.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's very funny though. I laughed hard.

[Andy Samberg]

I got beat recently by my PT guy, Sean, who when I said golly, he was like, whoa, there are people saying that. And I was like, well, I'm not saying Golly right. Like I'm saying golly. That's different, you know, what's the difference? Well, Golly would be like, I'm like a 1950s guy, but you know, like, golly.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, Golly. Beef.

[Andy Samberg]

Golly is like, I'm like 20, 27.

[Jorma Taccone]

Golly. Like that. That's how you say it. Not me. I found that offensive.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Like I said, like E40 would.

[Jorma Taccone]

How would he say it?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Like how you just said it.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, we use that.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, we're gonna cut mine.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I say it like good old Jimmy Stewart. Yeah. Golly. Golly. Oh, but it's still in the pausey two syllable way. I just go golly.

[Andy Samberg]

Golly.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, Golly. That horse has the biggest penis I've ever seen. That's exactly how I say it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, hey, I think this case of the bbs. Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

It's different. Cause you're doing an impression of someone doing an impression.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Andy, what's your excuse? Cause you seem like you've got the burrito brain a bit.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'm not gonna front. I got a little burrito brain.

[Andy Samberg]

Woo wee.

[Jorma Taccone]

Tail it off.

[Andy Samberg]

It's almost Christmas.

[Jorma Taccone]

Let's listen to a voice note and then the spelling bee and then later.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, I like that. God, I hope it's Edie.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Hey guys.

[Listener Caller]

I am a huge fan and I have been since Boston Town. I always made people watch your videos. I'm like, do you know this song? Oh my God, that reminds me of a Lonely Allen song. You gotta watch it. And I recently did that with my 11 year old son. He is super prim and proper though. He won't let me curse and he does not like talking about inappropriate things. And it did not occur to me until three videos in that all of your songs are about penises.

[Jorma Taccone]

Not all.

[Listener Caller]

He did not think they were funny. He just thinks I'm a pervert.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So thanks, bye.

[Andy Samberg]

Big apologies.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay.

[Jorma Taccone]

Could have done threw it on the ground, but that does have getting taste in the butthole.

[Akiva Schaffer]

When we were kids, I feel like I didn't know any kid that wasn't cool with swearing.

[Andy Samberg]

11 is like, I think when you get your first, like, horrible cursing tapes.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But I guess my point is not to disparage this caller, but to talk about how my kids won't curse. And when they even are singing along to their favorite songs by, like, Olivia Rodrigo, let's say, and it gets to the F word, they mute themselves, right? Or they do the radio version, even if the one playing is the dirty version.

[Andy Samberg]

That's the case for my kids. My kids are horrendous. My daughter's favorite song is a Rilo Kiley song called Better Son Daughter. And it has a. And sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on. And she is like. If we talk over it, she's like, go back. That's the best part. So I'm a bad parent.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's crazy because I feel I'm more like Keeve. Like, when I am in the car with my kids, if I play anything, even a little like, UGK pregnant or something, they're like, dad, what the. And I'm like, what? It's a class.

[Andy Samberg]

You gotta listen to the lyrics.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know what I mean? I'm just picturing Quaid. The Quaid's out there now going, oh, I'm gonna throw on ugk. What the.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, you're in for a treat if you haven't heard it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's a shocker, guys. It's a shocker.

[Andy Samberg]

No matter what we say here, it will be a shocker.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's classic material.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Get back to us about your feelings after you listen to it.

[Andy Samberg]

God, there's 14 year olds listening to this. I feel bad. No.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, congrats on 20 years of lazy Sunday, guys. Just to wrap this up.

[Andy Samberg]

Thank you for mentioning it.

[Jorma Taccone]

It probably wasn't really that long though, right? Probably was more recent.

[Andy Samberg]

Now we're getting younger. I feel younger.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Feels. Feels weird. We'll just skip right past it.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. What's up? I hope this isn't a rib. Oh, my God, please.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Remember when we could pound like four burritos each without getting bb? And now it's like halfway through my first fucking burrito, I'm like, oh, God damn, I'm coming down with a major case. And it's so fucked up because they don't tell you that, you know, when you're younger, you just see old people complaining and you think, think, what are they talking about?

[Jorma Taccone]

I'm Young, you gotta switch to nabs.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, some nabs.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What do they. What do they take out? What is the NA for? When is it non asada? Burritos?

[Andy Samberg]

Naps. Oh, let's get a nap. I can't. I can't do. I can't do full.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know what people agents were calling us the other day being like, do you guys want to try to do a celebrity endorsed, like, brand? You know, like the way that a few different people we know have. Have the non alcoholic beers. And I think we now just found ours, right? So if not a sort of vegetarian burrito and the ads are just, you know, doing reenactments of someone coming down with a case of the BB's and then somebody else going like, hey, has this happened to you?

[Jorma Taccone]

I can't get my work done. I've got burrito brain.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah. Not again. Oh, once I hit 40, it was just like all of a sudden the burrito brain was lasting longer, coming on stronger, faster.

[Andy Samberg]

I can't stop eating burritos. So what's the altern?

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, I like, I hate. Yeah, I hate that I stopped and then I'm like, yorma, you keep eating them. What's your secret? How are you doing it?

[Andy Samberg]

Well, Keev, I'm glad you asked. Nab is.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It'll be just like Tom Holland with his non alcoholic beer where I think Mulaney has one that he's been advertising.

[Jorma Taccone]

I would never ever bring up someone else's product on our cast ever.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Right, right.

[Jorma Taccone]

I would never do that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You think Spidey would send a voice note to promote his non alcoholic beer.

[Andy Samberg]

As a tie in?

[Akiva Schaffer]

You think you would?

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, maybe.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

I thought you were talking about spider Ham Spidey.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, you're right. It's Spider man or Spider.

[Jorma Taccone]

They're both.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, they're both Spiderman.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, sober.

[Jorma Taccone]

Hey, I'm one too.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What?

[Jorma Taccone]

I'm a spider.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, yeah? What's. What's your guy's name?

[Jorma Taccone]

It's a great question.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He has a name.

[Andy Samberg]

I got one too. Keith. You're the only guy who doesn't have a spider, man.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, yeah. You're the one pointing at each other, right? You're doing this.

[Andy Samberg]

You're doing the meme 1969 guy. The. Yeah, I'm the coda in the first one.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What the fuck? How are you both Spider man? And I'm just fucking sitting here with fucking burrito brain like a fucking tool.

[Jorma Taccone]

A lot of cursing. Who are you trying to impress? Probably the man in the Mirror.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No. Phil Lord and Chris Miller. So they make me a spider man. There's a third movie coming.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, yeah. Come on. Phil and Chris make Keeva Spidey.

[Andy Samberg]

Come on, guys. Look in the mirror.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Guys. Hit them up on Twitter. Let them know. Let's start the campaign. It'll be as big as when Donald Glover was going to be Spider Man. This will be the next one for all the same reasons.

[Jorma Taccone]

You guys, I was kidding. Obviously. I know. I'm Ben Reilly. Relax.

[Akiva Schaffer]

There we go. He fucking. It took a while.

[Andy Samberg]

She was looking it up.

[Jorma Taccone]

I didn't look it up.

[Andy Samberg]

You did too. I saw your facelight.

[Jorma Taccone]

Look at my phone. Does it look like I looked up characters from Spider Verse?

[Andy Samberg]

No. Oh, my God.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And what is Yourms? 1967.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's my home screen.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He is 1967.

[Andy Samberg]

1967. Thank you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I just literally, I just have to say one thing. I'll do like. Yeah, and I'll be that spider whenever.

[Jorma Taccone]

There'S a bunch exactly like Yorm. A fake one.

[Andy Samberg]

You know what? I had the coda. I was pointing.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Listen, guys, I don't want to get into politics, but Donald Glover, you know, he showed up in the last one as one of the alternate ones, kind of acknowledging the big campaign that was online to make him like a pre Miles Morales first black live action Spider Man.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And I feel like we could get a similar momentum going for me in a similar way, because nobody with burrito brain has ever been Spider Man.

[Jorma Taccone]

You don't want to get political.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm just saying I feel like there's.

[Jorma Taccone]

You don't have burrito brain, huh?

[Akiva Schaffer]

No. That product.

[Jorma Taccone]

Now it seems like you're campaigning for yorm.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, the product we were talking about was a. A joke product that doesn't exist. You think nabs exist?

[Andy Samberg]

My. No, my burrito brain got usurped. Keeb now owns it, and he's got it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I was saying that my burrito. That I go, half a burrito now. And I'm like, I've got it for hours now.

[Jorma Taccone]

Seth has teeth. Keev has burrito brain.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah. Yes.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Your stats. We all have burrito burrito. We all have our stadts. And I'm saying I get it now. Way earlier in our 20s at SNL, we could pound burritos. Now I go, half a burrito. I'm fucking burrito branding all over the place.

[Jorma Taccone]

You know what you are is you're zonked.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. What? And there's never been. People don't talk about it enough. There's never Been Spider man with burrito.

[Jorma Taccone]

Brand that we know of.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, that's true. There are so many iterations.

[Andy Samberg]

Don't talk about that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

There's so many old compounds comics come at us.

[Jorma Taccone]

You don't know what people were struggling with. Exactly.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Hit us in the Titus again about if a spider man had burrito brain.

[Jorma Taccone]

If you know, if a spider man or anyone you know has had burrito brain.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Can I point something out, Andy? If it's in, if it's canon. Spider ham and Ben Reilly are canon. They're from the old. And the moment when the spider men are pointing at each other I believe is too.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's how it got pulled from the.

[Andy Samberg]

Cartoon into the thing is accurate.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So a spider man with burrito brain, that's not a deal breaker, it's a deal maker.

[Jorma Taccone]

Right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I saying I. There hasn't been one in the movies the same way there was a black spider man, Miles Morales. There just wasn't one in the movies. And I there has not been one with burrito brain. Now some people could argue that Jake Johnson's Peter Parker. That's like eating pizza. He's fat in the first.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, that's tangential but yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Kind of has burrito had burrito brain.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, but he has more. He's more pizza brain, more New York.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Why do you think he's constantly eating pizza?

[Andy Samberg]

Because he's from New York.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, because people know they weren't ready for a burrito brained spider man so they put pizza in his hand because.

[Jorma Taccone]

They weren't ready to ease into it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Let me in.

[Andy Samberg]

Start the campaign. Guys.

[Jorma Taccone]

We have a pizza brain spidey. Now we need a burrito brain spidey. And you're saying that's as important as Miles Morales?

[Akiva Schaffer]

You cross the line.

[Jorma Taccone]

I crossed the line. I'm asking questions.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I said we weren't getting political. So if you say we're not getting.

[Andy Samberg]

Political beforehand, anybody who gets political at all is, it's their fault.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes.

[Andy Samberg]

If they put.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, are you gonna ask me if I got queen bee so I can go or not?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

All right.

[Andy Samberg]

I wanna drag this out a little bit more. Spelling bee.

[Jorma Taccone]

Spelling bee. I got it clean.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Pew, pew, pew, pew pew pew. Put that close to the screen so I can read it.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

What is it?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Say you found everything. All 32 words worth 141 points. Share your achievement.

[Jorma Taccone]

I did share it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Thank you.

[Jorma Taccone]

I shared it with Seth. My last word was palliative and it was the pangram.

[Andy Samberg]

Palliative. Yeah, bro, that's not a word, dude. Hit us in the tittis. That's not a word.

[Jorma Taccone]

Don't hit us in the Titus. We know that's a word.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, yeah, let take it back.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, it's a hospital. This guy's got a case of the BB's. Don't even worry about it.

[Jorma Taccone]

All right?

[Andy Samberg]

Yep. Happy holidays, guys. Love you.

[Jorma Taccone]

Love you guys. Later, Arnold.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Later, Quaid.