The Criterion Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Criterion Episode

Introduction

In a unique and special episode of The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast, hosted by Seth Meyers alongside comedy-music trio The Lonely Island (Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone), the conversation takes an insightful turn as they collaborate with esteemed guests Mike Schur and Jake Tapper. The primary focus of this episode, titled "The Criterion Episode," revolves around selecting the best SNL Digital Shorts to be included in the prestigious Criterion Collection. Released on December 23, 2024, this episode delves deep into the creative processes, historical impacts, and enduring legacies of these groundbreaking digital shorts.

Guests and Their Backgrounds

Mike Schur, renowned for creating beloved television series like Parks and Recreation, and Jake Tapper, a distinguished news anchor, join Seth and The Lonely Island to act as official judges for this selection process. Their combined experiences from SNL, The Office, and other significant projects provide a rich foundation for evaluating the digital shorts' merits.

Setting the Stage: Criteria for Selection

The discussion begins with elucidating the criteria for what qualifies a digital short for the Criterion Collection. Drawing analogies to academic grading systems, Mike Schur and Jake Tapper advocate for selecting the top 20% of the available shorts. Mike explains, “I would say no more than the top... the top category is Criterion. And so I would say 20% is one out of every five. I think is the most you could” (10:50).

Examining Specific Digital Shorts

1. Confirmed Criterion Shorts

   • Lazy Sunday (13:59): This digital short is unanimously recognized for its pioneering role in popularizing internet-based comedy sketches. Mike shares a memorable anecdote: “I was in Amy Poehler's dressing room and Lazy Sunday aired... I was like, yeah, that's going to be a thing” (14:25). Its cultural impact and innovative approach make it a no-brainer inclusion.

   • Natalie's Rap (13:59): Celebrated for its creative fusion of celebrity participation and musical comedy, Seth reminisces, “I have to say, it was then there's the hallways of SNL have black and white photos from sketches that have a lot of people in em that have really funny costumes” (08:28). The short's unique aesthetic and performance quality solidify its status as Criterion.

   • Dick in a Box (13:59): With overwhelming positive responses, this short tops the votes. Seth highlights its memorable lines, “It's Christmas and my heart is open wide Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind?” (31:32). Its clever humor and viral appeal make it a standout nominee.

   • Dear Sister (13:59): Praised for its heartfelt narrative and character development, Mike emphasizes, “It's a great performance by Hader as the executive...” (24:33). The blend of comedy and emotion resonates well with audiences, meriting its inclusion.

   • The Mirror (13:59): Both Mike and Jake voted "yes" for this short, citing its clever premise and execution. Seth notes, “It's essentially like what you saw on Delta Airlines, which I think is a plus for it” (31:35).

2. Debated and Additional Categories

   • Laser Cats (30:17): This short sparked a divided opinion. While Jake Tapper supported its inclusion, Mike Schur opposed it, categorizing it under “Additional Reading.” Seth briefly comments, “Do you believe any Laser Cats? No.” (30:52). Alan Sepinwall later argues for its essential role in the Criterion Collection, highlighting its importance in the digital shorts' narrative.

   • Kim's Videos (23:38): Positioned as a “deep cut” favorite, this category includes shorts that are beloved by hardcore fans but may not meet the Criterion threshold. Mike describes it as “essentially like syllabus” (23:38).

   • Additional Reading (13:38): This category encompasses shorts that, while not Criterion-worthy, provide valuable context and understanding of The Lonely Island's creative evolution.

   • Andy Walking, Peyote, and Other Shorts: These were generally categorized under “No” votes, with brief discussions on their merits and shortcomings. Seth and Mike concurred on their exclusion based on criteria standards.

Insightful Anecdotes from SNL and The Office

Throughout the episode, Mike Schur shares heartfelt memories from his time at SNL and his transition to The Office. Reflecting on "Lazy Sunday," Mike states, “I was standing next to Will Arnett, and I remember this clear as day. He and I looked at each other and he was like, that was incredible” (14:35). Seth recounts his own experiences pitching sketches to Mike, highlighting the collaborative and sometimes challenging nature of writing for SNL.

Alan Sepinwall's Perspective

Midway through the episode, television critic Alan Sepinwall joins the conversation, offering a critical eye to the selection process. He supports the inclusion of “Larry Cat” as fundamental to understanding The Lonely Island’s oeuvre but remains reserved about others like “Roy Rules,” despite recognizing its comedic value. Alan articulates, “It goes back to their origins with the boo... They sort of kept picking at the scab over and over again until they got through all of it” (50:21).

Conclusion and Final Selections

In the concluding segments, Seth recaps the agreed-upon Criterion Collection nominees:

• Lazy Sunday
• Natalie's Rap
• Dick in a Box
• Dear Sister
• The Mirror

Additional debates on shorts like Laser Cats and Roy Rules remain unresolved, pending further deliberation as potential tiebreakers. The episode wraps up with acknowledgments and a final recap, affirming the enduring legacy and cultural significance of the selected digital shorts.

Notable Quotes

• Seth Meyers on Criterion Percentage: “So I'm just like, yeah, I have the... I'm staring at it right now” (09:37).

• Mike Schur on Laser Cats: “They did five of them. Seven. I've lost track” (48:56).

• Alan Sepinwall on Dear Sister: “... you just kind of kept picking at the scab over and over again until they got through all of it” (50:21).

• Jake Tapper on Criterion Judging: “It's inevitable that... you're breaking them into five categories, and the top category is Criterion” (10:50).

Final Thoughts

"The Criterion Episode" serves not only as a celebration of The Lonely Island's innovative contributions to comedy but also as an insightful exploration into the criteria that elevate a digital short to timeless classic status. Through engaging discussions, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful critiques, Seth Meyers and his esteemed guests honor the artistry and impact of these SNL Digital Shorts, ensuring their legacy endures within the Criterion Collection.

Transcript

[Seth Meyers]

It's a Lonely island and Seth Meyers.

[Mike Schur]

Criterion Collection podcast episode.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, shit. Hey, everybody. Welcome to a very special episode of the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast. Before we start, I want to stress that we've put exactly as much thought into this episode as all previous episodes, which is not much. But I am joined by two luminaries who are going to help us select the Criterion Collection of the first 34 shorts we have covered on the podcast. We are joined by Mike Scher and Jake Tapper. Hello, gentlemen.

[Jake Tapper]

Thank you.

[Mike Schur]

Hello. How are you set?

[Jake Tapper]

It's about time.

[Seth Meyers]

Really good.

[Jake Tapper]

It's about time.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Okay, slow your roll, Tapper. So real quick, just credits wise. Mike Scher and I met at snl. He then went on to work in the Office. Played Mose on the Office.

[Mike Schur]

Thank.

[Seth Meyers]

He's created a bunch of shows. Parks and Rec. Good place. Man on the inside right now. Ted Danson on Netflix just got picked up for season two. Congratulations.

[Mike Schur]

Thank you very much.

[Seth Meyers]

Most importantly, though, for the purposes of this Brooklyn Nine Nine with Andy Samberg. So there is a connection. Multiple connection points, really, considering the SNL time as well. And then Jake does new stuff.

[Jake Tapper]

I do.

[Seth Meyers]

So you guys reached out because you have some thoughts.

[Mike Schur]

That's right. Jake actually reached out to me. I'll let him tell most of the story, but he reached out to me and basically said, I think you and I should be the official judges of what is and is not part of the Criterion Collection. And I have to say that when he said it, it made perfect sense for a couple of reasons. Number one, he and I have never actually met before.

[Seth Meyers]

No, that's good.

[Mike Schur]

And number two, as you put it, I mean, I worked at snl, admittedly before the Lonely island showed up. And he is a newsman.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

And so when you put all of that together, I think it makes perfect sense why he and I should be the official judge and jury of what is and is not Criterion.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, agreed.

[Jake Tapper]

I should also note that we were texting about the pod. We had been texting about the pod. We are fans of the pod.

[Mike Schur]

Right.

[Jake Tapper]

Listeners, we should say more discriminating than fans, but listeners to the pods. Consistent listeners. I think Mike, you and I have both listened to every single one as of today, correct?

[Mike Schur]

Oh, absolutely. And also I should note that Jake started sending me again. He and I have never actually met, but he started sending me his reviews of every episode. I would say essentially in real time. Like, I don't know what time the pod is posted, but Monday morning, six.

[Seth Meyers]

I think that's good.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah. And so, like, the length of time of the pod after it is posted is when he texts me his thoughts about the pod.

[Jake Tapper]

Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

That's great. And I'm very excited to find out you guys have never met. Cause this pod works on stranger chemistry. If anything, the people who listen to it like the fact that nobody here knows each other.

[Mike Schur]

I will clarify. We have corresponded for many years.

[Jake Tapper]

Yes.

[Mike Schur]

I've done some charity stuff for Jake's excellent charity.

[Seth Meyers]

Here we go. Here we go.

[Mike Schur]

And we have corresponded about a number of things, including once, I believe. I believe the way it started, Jake, was you just sent me a very nice text or asked someone for my email or something and just said that you were a fan of Brooklyn Nine Nine. Isn't that how this. Yeah. Yeah. So again, it makes perfect sense.

[Jake Tapper]

Oh, no, it might have been the good place.

[Mike Schur]

Oh, okay.

[Jake Tapper]

But I'm a fan of both is the truth.

[Mike Schur]

Thank you.

[Seth Meyers]

It would have been way better if you were like. Cause I don't ever remember liking Brooklyn Nine Nine, so.

[Jake Tapper]

That's true. Also, you asked me to blurb your book.

[Mike Schur]

Yes.

[Jake Tapper]

Which was a delight. Cause it was fun to read and everybody should go buy it. Look, niche is not the right word, but it is a rarefied audience that listens to the Lonely Island Seth Meyers podcast as religiously as Mike and I do. And also fans of the Lonely island and fans of the pod, obviously, and fans of Seth Meyers.

[Seth Meyers]

There you go.

[Mike Schur]

Right.

[Seth Meyers]

Hey, I wrote down something. Shirk. So Mike and I met, and I do want to establish, because I think the history of SNL is a big part of this podcast. Mike and I are dear friends, but you were more than a friend when I started. You were, I feel like my first, and I think to succeed at snl, you need many of these. You were my first life raft.

[Mike Schur]

Ah.

[Seth Meyers]

As I was struggling at that place, I could always come to your room. You were running Weekend Update at the time, so you were a man with a far bigger job than I had. And I would come to your room and I would pitch you dumb ideas, and we would often write them up, and a lot of them went to dress before getting cut. But we got to wear costumes and see what the set looked like. And that was fun. But I just had an idea for a sketch, and I realized I was like, oh, this would be a sketch I would come to your office. Office to tell you about.

[Mike Schur]

Great.

[Seth Meyers]

So just flashback. It's 2001, you know, it's October 01, and I walk into Your office.

[Mike Schur]

I go, oh, God, wait, is it. There's anthrax in the building. We have to get out of here. Okay, great.

[Seth Meyers]

Let's meet at your apartment. So my idea is like, there's a serial killer. And you know, he's got that like, thing where he's like plastic all over the room. Sure. He's just done one of his kills and there's a knock at the door and it's someone who says, I grew up in this house. Can I look around?

[Mike Schur]

Can I tell you that I wrote a sketch very similar to that before you got to snl? It was a family having dinner and I think Farrell and I can't remember who. The host probably came to the house and were like, we're brothers, we grew up here. Can we look around? And then they just told stories and they were just the most horrifying stories that you've ever heard. And I thought it was very funny. And Shoemaker. Shoemaker used to decide the order at the read through, put it up very high. It was like number four in the read through. And that was always a good sign because it meant that you were optimistic about it. If you're a shoemaker.

[Seth Meyers]

Yes.

[Mike Schur]

And it, I mean, like everything I wrote my first year, it just played to like dead, like my memory of it, and I'm sure you have this too, is of the only sound in the room is the sound of 150 scripts being turned page by page. Like there's no. Like, that's a silence that doesn't exist elsewhere in nature. It's like the absence of sound more than it is a sound. And that's how that sketch played. And like every one of those read throughs in my first year was brutal. Brutal to sit there.

[Seth Meyers]

I do want to shout out only for the purposes that then we'll find a clip and play my terrible British accent. But you wrote one of my favorite sketches that I got to be in at a time where again, life raft era, Just being in a sketch was very important.

[Mike Schur]

Sure.

[Seth Meyers]

You wrote one of my favorite all time sketches. Hot Air Mystery Balloon Theater.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

On the contrary, my dear Miss Petit. I believe the killer is still in.

[Mike Schur]

This very hot air balloon basket.

[Seth Meyers]

How do you know, Professor? In due time, Admiral.

[Mike Schur]

But first let's look at the fence.

[Seth Meyers]

Do please explain where the idea came from and who the host was.

[Mike Schur]

I have no idea where it came from. Hot Air Balloon Mystery Theater was a old timey, like Agatha Christie kind of era mystery story. Killer detective, like Sherlock Holmes detective. But the whole thing was Taking place in a hot air balloon. Like in the basket of a hot air balloon. And so there was a lot of like the detective saying, like, you had ample time to kill Mr. You know, Witherford and get from this part of the basket all the way to this part of the basket without being noticed. And then there were like reenactments.

[Seth Meyers]

We all chased each other around a little basket.

[Mike Schur]

You chased each other a lot. I don't remember who I wrote it for, but I submitted it like four times. It just made me laugh. It felt.

[Seth Meyers]

Did it. It was a four time because I will say it aired with Ian McKellen, who seemed like the perfect person for it.

[Mike Schur]

Well, that was the trick. I don't remember who I wrote it for originally. I think I submitted it maybe three total times. But the third time was when Ian McKellen hosted it and it was like, oh my God, this is now undeniable. Now this will work because he's doing it. And I really loved it. And everyone picked a different sort of archetypal British, like, Mystery Theater. You were a sort of James Mason. You went like James Mason. And it really delighted me. And I thought of it as like, it was one of the first things I wrote. I sucked at this job. Not false modesty. I sucked at the job for a good year and a half or so until I finally figured out how to. How to write. And it was one of the first things I wrote that I was like, oh my God, this is like a legitimate sketch premise. And it didn't get chosen and I was convinced it would work and I resubmitted it and it didn't get chosen. And then finally Ian McKellen did it and you were there and Poehler had shown up and all these great people did it. And it finally got to air with Ian McKellen playing the lead detective. And it probably was like a what? A B minus.

[Seth Meyers]

B minus ultimately. But air is great. Age is great. It's not any worse than a B minus.

[Jake Tapper]

Now, Seth, you do a James Mason, you do a Mason accent.

[Seth Meyers]

I was our Mason until Hader showed up. We hear a little, yeah, Lolita.

[Mike Schur]

Pretty good.

[Seth Meyers]

You know, again, I fell out of favor. I fell out of favor once Bill did all the dead British people once. Once he showed up.

[Mike Schur]

All the 85 year old British celebrities were taken up by Bill Hader.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. The other thing. Well, two things I want to say about it. One, it was then there's the hallways of SNL have black and white photos from sketches of throughout the years and the best pictures are from sketches that have a lot of people in em that have really funny costumes. The mise en scene of hot air mystery and balloon theater is great. And I remember that was the first sketch I was in that was on the wall.

[Mike Schur]

Oh, wow.

[Seth Meyers]

I was always looking for, like, touchstones where I'm like, well, they're not gonna fire a guy in.

[Mike Schur]

It was on the wall.

[Seth Meyers]

They framed it. Think of the money they paid on the framing. And the other thing about resubmissions is a lesson I learned is you don't tell the host. I remember once saying, I'm so happy we're doing this. This the fifth time I've submitted it. And then the host. The host who thought they had inspired you is like, oh, so I'm just.

[Mike Schur]

And also, four other people rejected this. Why would I do it?

[Seth Meyers]

So I'm just. Word me.

[Mike Schur]

You're like, yeah, I have the. I'm staring at it right now. I got Mary Ellen, the photographer from snl, to get me a print of that sketch because it meant so much to me that it aired. It's on my wall right now. I'm looking at it.

[Seth Meyers]

Fantastic. So you know how great the photo is.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah, it's a great photo. It's an excellent photo.

[Seth Meyers]

All right. Now, just on logistics, because we started talking about the idea of naming the Criterion Collection shorts, we did not discuss what that really meant, but we did reach out to viewers and let them vote without giving them any, you know, rules. And they very clearly picked some over others. My question to you guys before we get started is, what percentage of shorts do you believe should be Criterion Collection? Not judging on it, but, like, is it the top 25%? Is it the top 33%? What do you think rises to it?

[Jake Tapper]

20 max.

[Mike Schur]

20.

[Jake Tapper]

20 max is my take. I'm willing to go to 25, but 33, then you're just. That's just loose morals.

[Mike Schur]

It's a morality issue for you. Yeah, I think that's right. I think when you're talking about Criterion Collection as a concept, you're talking about on a grading system, these are the A's, right?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

So A, B, C, D and below, that's 20%, 20%, 20%, et cetera. So I. I would say no more than the top. I mean, really, an a is top 10%, but I would say you're breaking them into five categories, and the top category is Criterion. And so I would say 20% is one out of every five. I think is the most you could.

[Seth Meyers]

Say, all right, I also feel as though we're going to have different. So in the NFL Pro bowl voting, you have the fans, the players and the coaches. So I do want to let you.

[Mike Schur]

Guys know, a perfect system.

[Seth Meyers]

You will be at best a third of this voting block.

[Mike Schur]

Okay, that's fine.

[Seth Meyers]

But my question to you as well is the voters, our listeners who voted, do you think it's like the hall of Fame because they voted yes or no? Do you think it has to be 75% of voters for it to be a yes?

[Jake Tapper]

Oh, interesting.

[Mike Schur]

I think it depends how many voters there are.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, 3,000. 3,000 plus.

[Mike Schur]

Really?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, we had 3,000 plus vote.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah, I think you need like whatever 20 to 50 out of 3,000 or so. I mean that one problem with that is that like Internet voting is famously unreliable. You might get people who are trolling you. You might get people who are like, you know. Or do you feel like based on what you've seen so far that it's pretty people are taking it seriously?

[Seth Meyers]

I feel it's, I feel looking at the results, yeah, I do think they are.

[Mike Schur]

I would say that you need minimum 2/3. I would say it's a minimum, like Senate confirmation hearing kind of a deal where you need minimum 2/3 of the vote. But after that I think it's up to you guys to decide.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah, Senate confirmation hearing is just a simple majority, but I take what you're, you're talking about.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, man. Isn't it good to have like a news guy here?

[Mike Schur]

I meant non filibuster version. Yeah, that's 60%.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah. Okay. The breaking the filibuster, two thirds.

[Mike Schur]

Breaking the filibuster.

[Jake Tapper]

That's what it takes to convict in.

[Mike Schur]

An impeachment and an impeachment trial. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Jake, we gave you a list of words we didn't want to hear on this pod. Filibuster was definitely on it. Very disappointing.

[Jake Tapper]

How quickly markup committee appropriations.

[Seth Meyers]

All right, so this is very interesting. I'm going to say just for fun, 75%. And it was actually 3072 voters. So that's 2304. And I will tell you that six, only six of the 34 from the fans. Huh? Which is about right. I think that's what we're talking about.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

So I guess my question to you guys is, do you want to talk about the no brainers of the first 34 that you think are criterion?

[Jake Tapper]

Well, we're obviously not going to talk about all 34 or even the top 10 or 15 or what?

[Seth Meyers]

I mean look, let's just go through real quick. Lettuce. What do you guys think about lettuce?

[Mike Schur]

No, no. By the way, my suggestion was going to be we go through them each. If it's no, no, we just move on. If it's no, yes, we discuss briefly. If it's yes, yes, we're good and we can talk about why.

[Seth Meyers]

All right, so lettuce. No. No.

[Mike Schur]

Correct.

[Seth Meyers]

I feel like I do want a category for lettuce, which I feel like I want to call syllabus. I think that's fair, Right? Like, it's on the syllabus if it's a class.

[Mike Schur]

You're not going to believe this. I suggested a second category, and my name for it was additional reading.

[Seth Meyers]

Great.

[Mike Schur]

Which is basically what you're saying.

[Seth Meyers]

Basically.

[Mike Schur]

So it's basically like this is not criterion, but in order to fully understand the oeuvre.

[Seth Meyers]

Yes.

[Mike Schur]

This is like a highly suggested additional research you do into this topic.

[Seth Meyers]

It cannot be dismissed.

[Mike Schur]

Got you. Right.

[Jake Tapper]

It's essential knowledge, but it's not maximum appreciation.

[Mike Schur]

Correct.

[Seth Meyers]

All right. Lazy Sunday.

[Mike Schur]

Of course, yes.

[Seth Meyers]

All right. So there we have our first Lazy Sunday. Wake up in the late afternoon.

[Mike Schur]

Call Parnell just to see how he's doing. Hello. What up, pawns?

[Seth Meyers]

Yo, Sam Burke, what's cracking?

[Alan Sepinwall]

You thinking?

[Seth Meyers]

What I'm thinking is happening. But first, my hunger pangs. I stick it like dirt. Hit up MacDokia and Mac awesome Cupcakes. Oh, Dr. Bakery's got all the mud. Frosty. I love Those cupcakes like McAdams loves gossip.

[Mike Schur]

Can I tell a brief story about Lazy Sunday?

[Seth Meyers]

Yes.

[Mike Schur]

By the way, I was at the show. I'd left the show. I believe my last show was the last show before this and golden era began. When did they get hired? Did they start at 05 or 06?

[Seth Meyers]

05.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah. So I left at the end of the 04 season. So it was right before they started. I was back for that show, and I was in Amy Poehler's dressing room and Lazy Sunday aired, and I was standing next to Will Arnett, and I remember this clear as day. He and I looked at each other and he was like, that was incredible. And I was like, yeah, that's going to be a thing. And at the time, the only way that you could see stuff on SNL was, like, if you had TiVoed it, you would, like, bring your friend to your home and show it to them.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

But then, you know, college humor and YouTube started because of Lazy Sunday and all that sort of stuff. But I remember I literally. It's like landing on the moon for SNL comedy. Like, I remember where I was the moment that Lazy Sunday aired. I happened to be at snl, but, like, I remember it so clearly because of how obviously important it was in the history of comedy.

[Seth Meyers]

That's very funny. Where, like, I remember where I was. Where were you? I was there.

[Mike Schur]

I was there. Yeah. I was in a circle.

[Seth Meyers]

Obviously you remember.

[Mike Schur]

It's like Neil Armstrong saying, I remember where I was when I landed on the moon.

[Seth Meyers]

I. My dad, rest in peace. Franco Harris. We had dinner. I don't know if I told you this, we had dinner in Pittsburgh with Franco Harris. And I know a lot of people listening to this podcast might not be huge football fans, but Franco Harris was the centerpiece of the most famous play in NFL history called the Immaculate Reception. And we sat down for dinner with him, and of course, my dad told him where he was during the Immaculate Reception. And I then said to Franco Harris, I go, I bet you're the only guy that doesn't have to tell people, doesn't feel the need to tell people. And then he immediately, which is really funny, goes, I'll never forget where I was. I was in the backfield.

[Mike Schur]

Jake, are you just going to allow Seth to tell a Steelers anecdote like that without returning one of your own?

[Jake Tapper]

I feel like after the Eagles thumped the Steelers, he's entitled to his memories and nostalgia for a team longer exists.

[Mike Schur]

That's kind of you.

[Seth Meyers]

Classic Rope a dope. Let you guys get confident. Loved everything about it went according to plan.

[Jake Tapper]

I certainly understand Seth not wanting to talk about the game. That's fine.

[Seth Meyers]

I want to say that your last. I was very sad when you left snl. Sure. I felt very a C, as you famously like to say.

[Mike Schur]

Kind of you to say.

[Seth Meyers]

And do you remember your last table read? I think it was also the end of Seinfeld, so it was a really hard time for me. But I read a sketch about the guy who played the bass that was the transition music out of Seinfeld, like, boom, boom. And it was just him doing a farewell concert.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Because Seinfeld. And then I remember writing in on. By the way, this was also a real paper turner in that. That's all you heard. But everybody would be like, also shout out to Mike Scher, who's leaving us all.

[Mike Schur]

The same day I left, Paula Pell and Tracy Morgan, two other beloved figures of the show, also left. And I remember I was very emotional the day I left, for obvious reasons. It had been six and a half years. And Tracy was at goodnights. And then people were holding up signs and were like, I love you, Paula Pell. And I was like, all right. Well, yeah, I guess that's like a perfect SNL send off is that you're really emotional and the show kind of flips you off a little bit. Like these two other people that people like more are leaving. Sure.

[Jake Tapper]

What were you leaving to do?

[Mike Schur]

Go to work on the Office.

[Jake Tapper]

Nice.

[Mike Schur]

Season one of the Office was starting.

[Seth Meyers]

What? But when was the Comeback?

[Mike Schur]

So The Office season one writing was from like June to October of 2004.

[Seth Meyers]

Gotcha.

[Mike Schur]

And then they were editing it and it didn't air until March. So after we were done writing, I got hired to the Comeback in December and I was there from like December through April. Then the Office aired and then got picked up for season two. So then I went back to the Office to do season two. So it was between seasons one and two.

[Jake Tapper]

Do you think that you should recuse yourself from judging Japanese Office?

[Mike Schur]

It's possible, yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, we'll get there.

[Mike Schur]

Although based on the way that these things are going nationally, not only am I not gonna recuse myself, I'm gonna just double down and insist that I'm right.

[Seth Meyers]

I should also say feels crazy to say it now. It sounded a little bit nuts that you were leaving to reboot that popular British show.

[Mike Schur]

Oh, well, I mean, it was.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

So briefly, you and I and Poehler and Matt Murray and a bunch of people were watching the British Office before it was airing in America because you had a friend.

[Seth Meyers]

Yep.

[Mike Schur]

Who was sending you like region one DVDs or whatever.

[Seth Meyers]

And we watched the Christmas Special.

[Mike Schur]

We watched the Christmas special and when dawn left and then spoiler alert for a 15 year old piece of art came back and kissed him. I jumped out of my chair and thrust my arms in the air like my team had won the super bowl because that's how much we cared about that show. And so I went off and interviewed for a bunch of shows because I was leaving to my then girlfriend, now wife, J.J. philbin, had moved out to LA. We had to be together in order to make it work. So I interviewed on a bunch of shows, had an interview at the Office, and was like, I don't think this is a good idea at all. I think it's a terrible idea. I didn't say that. But Greg Daniels, who was adapting it, was so smart and interesting. It was pretty clear to me that, like, he was the guy that I should work for. So I was just like, this isn't going to be a disaster, but if he offers me a job, I'm going to take it. And then. It was the greatest decision of my life.

[Seth Meyers]

The two most emotional things I watched in that office were both with you, which was the Christmas episode of the Office and Game 7 of the Yankees Red Sox.

[Mike Schur]

That's right.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. So there were some very good things that happened in that office. Support for the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb. Akiva.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

You love to try to pass as a local when you. Oh, that's my thing. If I go to Rome, first thing I do the first day is just try to look at what people are.

[Mike Schur]

Wearing, what kind of hats they're wearing.

[Seth Meyers]

And I go to the local haberdashery, and I try to, like, really get in there. And if I'm going back to a hotel, I feel like the gig is.

[Mike Schur]

Up, so I need to get it.

[Seth Meyers]

It's a dead giveaway. When you walk to a hotel, they know. They're like, this guy's from the States despite his local hat.

[Mike Schur]

Exactly.

[Seth Meyers]

Keev's known to just, like, go to the local city and get a local Airbnb and then just get, like, a Coney Dog in Detroit. That's right, a Coney Dog in Detroit. So they know you're from there. And so the reality for you, Keev, is that some trips are better at an Airbnb because you're traveling with a group of friends. You want to hang out in a way that they don't let you hang out at a hotel.

[Mike Schur]

That's right.

[Seth Meyers]

And Airbnb ticks those boxes for you.

[Alan Sepinwall]

Plus, I'm just into some weird shit.

[Seth Meyers]

You know, and it's just better when no one's around. All right, Keith, I'm gonna start yelling out cities. Tell me what you do when you're there to make you feel like a local.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Paris. The Paris baseball team's local hat. The Paris baseball team's local hat.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Here's the thing, you guys. I'm in a real talk right now in Airbnb. What I love is my kids. Bedtime doesn't need to be my bedtime. Keev, we were just at my brother's wedding.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

You stayed at a hotel?

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, I stayed at Airbnb because I had my kids with me, and the hotel was where the wedding was and the music was loud, and instead, I was at AirBN two minutes away. My kids stayed there. The music didn't wake them up. You had room to kind of spread out and be comfortable. I was just jammed in a room. You were just jammed in a room like a sardine. Yeah, exactly. I had so much sympathy for you. So anyway, thanks to Airbnb for my brother's wedding weekend and also for sponsoring the pod. Support comes from Shopify.

[Mike Schur]

Shopify.

[Seth Meyers]

Hi, bud.

[Mike Schur]

Hi.

[Seth Meyers]

So. So you are Mattel. I don't need to tell you Mattel's having a really good time right now.

[Mike Schur]

Oh, yeah, because of Barbie.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. They're making a product people want. But sometimes you forget that when you're selling a product through the roof, what you really need is the business behind the business that are doing business. And that is what Shopify does. They do selling better than anybody. They're home at the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions. Do you know what a conversion is? Yeah, Joram, what do you think a conversion is? As I'm using it right now, a.

[Mike Schur]

Conversion is when you. I don't really know how it works. That's why I think Shopify is such a great app, because I think they do know. They do know how it works.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay. So definitely let me down there on that tee up. You want me?

[Mike Schur]

Yeah, sorry.

[Seth Meyers]

Conversion is when somebody puts something in their shopping cart on your website.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

They convert it. They like, make sure that person actually buys it as opposed to see they.

[Mike Schur]

Know what they're doing over at Shopify.

[Seth Meyers]

So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

Like when somebody tees you up, you gotta be ready.

[Jake Tapper]

You know what I mean?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. So go to Shopify and blow up your business or go to Yurm and just be so let down. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Aviator Nation uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com lonelyisland all lowercase go to shopify.com upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com lonelyisland Woo. Young Chuck Norris.

[Jake Tapper]

No, no, but I do like it a lot.

[Seth Meyers]

But no, you took your time.

[Mike Schur]

It was really, really intense.

[Seth Meyers]

I thought your Internet had gone out. I would also say not necessarily syllabus either. No, no, there's another category.

[Mike Schur]

Okay.

[Seth Meyers]

Kim's Videos.

[Mike Schur]

Oh, like cool Underground.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Like, Tim's Videos was a video store in New York that like the cinephiles would go to, and the people who worked there were sort of like the jack Black for Music in high fidelity. Right. Like, you know, this is the one you want to watch. Young Chuck Norris. Maybe it's Kim's video.

[Jake Tapper]

I think so, yes.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay, tangent.

[Jake Tapper]

Kim's videos.

[Seth Meyers]

I don't even think it's Kim's video.

[Mike Schur]

No, I do. I'm going to make an argument. I actually think it's additional reading. I think it's syllabus.

[Seth Meyers]

Interesting.

[Mike Schur]

The simple reason is that, first of all, a heroically great performance from Fred and everyone who knew Fred was like, oh, my God. I think it presages a lot of Fred's other characters, a lot of stuff he did on Update. I felt like they were the first people to figure out how to do it. It's a great performance by Hader as the executive, but also the way it zips through time. I remember thinking, oh, this is a live action Saturday TV fun.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

Any kind of cereals that have sugars on them.

[Seth Meyers]

That's an obvious thing to do. Jerry, it's me. Listen, I'm on the street. He's exactly what we're looking for.

[Mike Schur]

No, here, I'll put you on with him. Listen, listen.

[Seth Meyers]

Cover up the entire thing. Passports have to change every four years.

[Mike Schur]

Like they were tapping into the same energy that Smigel tapped into. It's not criterion by any stretch, but I would actually argue, if I were teaching this class, I would say, like, no, you need to watch this early juvenileia in order to truly understand what the Lonely island accomplished. That's my argument.

[Seth Meyers]

All right. I think that's probably one of the nicer things anybody's ever said about the tangent. Close talkers.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jake Tapper]

And I say that reluctantly because. And I'm sure everybody here is great admirer of Steve Martin and everything he's.

[Seth Meyers]

Meant, but, yeah, I mean, if there was anything we proved, that episode is that Steve Martin can be written for us so poorly that it doesn't work.

[Mike Schur]

That it ruins Steve Martin.

[Seth Meyers]

Not ruins Steve Martin, it's just, he can't save it.

[Mike Schur]

I want to say, though, and this is an important disclaimer, I don't know, Jake, if you want to say something along these same lines, it goes without saying. And Jake sort of made reference to this by how closely and intensely we listen to this podcast. I love everything that these three ding dongs have done in their lives.

[Jake Tapper]

100%.

[Seth Meyers]

100%.

[Mike Schur]

I love every single thing. I have made this argument to their faces. I believe that the Lonely island is arguably the most important comedy collective that has ever been at snl. If you Take away Lauren and maybe Jim Downey. I think they are geniuses and I devour everything they make. So when we say, no, not Criterion, not Kim's videos, not additional reading, that is not an indictment of the piece. It's merely a reflection of how much we revere the things that are Criterion.

[Jake Tapper]

And if I could just say, we have a lake house. And when we go out on the boat at the beginning of any weekend, I'm immediately blasting, I'm on a boat. And one of my proudest moments as a father was when my son learned all the lyrics to Finest Girl.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, that's great.

[Jake Tapper]

The Bin Laden song. I mean, yes, 100%. What? Scherza.

[Seth Meyers]

And when I go on a boat, I take out my phone and I make everybody watch Clothes Talkers.

[Mike Schur]

I just want to say, incredible way to work into casual conversation, that you own a lake house.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Really nice.

[Mike Schur]

Really smoothly done like that.

[Seth Meyers]

If you said, I have a boat, we'd be like, where you keep it? Don't track. Tap it. Where you keep it. Natalie's rap.

[Jake Tapper]

Yes.

[Mike Schur]

Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, Again, you know, we talked about it on that episode. Completely created a whole new thing.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah, you're in it, too. I mean, we should know.

[Seth Meyers]

I am in it.

[Jake Tapper]

You have a lyric.

[Seth Meyers]

I have that golden touch.

[Mike Schur]

Let me say a couple things about Adelie's rep that I think put it over the top. Obviously, like, proving that for the first time, the host can also explode out of one of these digital shorts. That was the first one of those where, like, it was like, oh, my God, that's the host. That's not Parnell or Sandberg. That's the host now getting this boost. And I think that probably more than Lazy Sunday, Natalie's rap is probably responsible for the run that they had, because the hosts were now coming in going, like, do for me what you did for her. You know, generally a bad idea when you're talking about someone as talented as Natalie Portman to be like, I can do that, too. But the other thing I will say is, when I was running Update, Parnell used to do those raps that were like the, er, Lazy Sundays. He would come on as himself and talk about the host and then he would perform a rap. I always really liked them and thought that he was, like, a better rapper than he ought to have been, given his personality profile as, like, the everyman suburban dad guy. But I also. He's a SNL cast member, so it was like, of course that SNL cast members have things like that in their bag. I Didn't think that any host could do what she did in Natalie's rap. That's like a one in a million that you can like take over a digital short or a sketch like that and perform at that level. And I think it was like a eye opening thing for the show. Not just for Lonely island, but for the whole show. It was like if you tap into what is what these people are really talented at, they can like be a rocket ship and take the show to another level. That's why I think it's a criterion. We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman. Hello. So, Natalie, what's a day in the life of Natalie Portman?

[Seth Meyers]

Like, do you really want to know?

[Mike Schur]

Please tell us.

[Seth Meyers]

I don't sleep mother off that yak.

[Mike Schur]

And that turban doing one.

[Seth Meyers]

Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick.

[Jake Tapper]

I agree. And I would also add that it also is something that I can understand why hosts would want to be in them. Because it really, like, when I think of Natalie Portman, that's like one of the first five things I think about that just like comes to your flat. Same with Rihanna and Shyrani and same with Bolton and Jack Sparrow. Like, those are now things that I associate with that guest star or guest host in like, Top of Top of Mind.

[Seth Meyers]

But Steve Martin, you don't think of close talkers. Is that what you're getting at?

[Mike Schur]

Okay, that's correct. Yeah.

[Jake Tapper]

To his benefit. To his benefit.

[Seth Meyers]

The other thing about Natalie rapping is it was a burden for the guys that they rose too many times because, of course, then every host did want that.

[Mike Schur]

Right, right.

[Seth Meyers]

And the incredible thing they did was not fall into the trap of doing other raps with other. Because every. I shouldn't say every 95% of celebrities think they can rap. And the fact that they only did the one who could.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

To an impressive level was, you know.

[Jake Tapper]

I mean, that's the ethical standards that these ding dongs have. Like, they wouldn't do that. Like, that would be an affront to their morality, their comedy morality.

[Seth Meyers]

It's true. They have incredible. For real, like, the most incredibly high ethical standards. Ethical is such a funny way of putting it, but it is true. Doppelganger.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Kim's videos.

[Mike Schur]

No, no, I don't think so.

[Seth Meyers]

Laser cats.

[Jake Tapper]

I think laser cats is criterion.

[Mike Schur]

Really?

[Jake Tapper]

I do.

[Mike Schur]

I do not. Thanks for saving my life earlier today, Admiral Spaceship. I owe you one.

[Seth Meyers]

As long as we have cats that shoot lasers out of their mouths, we'll be okay. Oh, geez. I'm Getting a transmission from base. Hello. A princess has been kidnapped. Robotron, let's roll.

[Mike Schur]

I believe it's Kim's videos or additional reading. Whichever one you want, but I do not believe it's criteria.

[Seth Meyers]

Now we're gonna get to at least two more. Do you believe any Laser Cats?

[Jake Tapper]

I stick with just number one.

[Seth Meyers]

All right. My testicles. No.

[Mike Schur]

No.

[Seth Meyers]

Correct. Peyote?

[Mike Schur]

No.

[Seth Meyers]

Correct. Andy walking.

[Mike Schur]

Nope.

[Jake Tapper]

Nope.

[Seth Meyers]

Cubicle fight.

[Mike Schur]

I would say additional reading.

[Jake Tapper]

No.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jake Tapper]

I like it, though. And Dane Cook's good in it.

[Seth Meyers]

He is good in it. Harpoon Man.

[Jake Tapper]

I would put Harpoon man in Kim's videos.

[Mike Schur]

What's above criterion? Is there, like, a super criterion within Criterion?

[Seth Meyers]

It's just called Harpoon.

[Mike Schur]

Oh, Harpoon. This in Harpoon, then. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Criterion Collection named their better one Harpoon after Harpoon Man. So Citizen Kane is Harpoon.

[Mike Schur]

I see.

[Seth Meyers]

In the criteria.

[Mike Schur]

Gotcha.

[Seth Meyers]

So that's actually a cold run for our geniuses insofar as they were not churning out Criterion. But then, of course. Dick in the Box.

[Jake Tapper]

Yes, of course.

[Seth Meyers]

Dick in a Box holds Based on the 3072 votes we had the most yeses. Well, you know, it's Christmas and my heart is open wide Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind? A gift.

[Mike Schur]

Real special.

[Seth Meyers]

Take a look inside it's my In A Box.

[Jake Tapper]

I think Taking a box might also be on the COVID of the Criterion Collection.

[Mike Schur]

I think so, too, because it's basically Lazy Sunday. But you replace Pardell, an incredibly talented comedian, with, at the time, the greatest pop singer in the world.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

And so it's the same family of kind of digital short. But now you've got, like, Mozart composing with you. And as a result, it elevates it.

[Seth Meyers]

And Mozart has comedy chops.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah, man.

[Seth Meyers]

Because it's not just the singing. It's the real funny moves.

[Mike Schur]

And you put Wig and Maya in the background. Yeah.

[Jake Tapper]

And also, just to refer to the last episode of the pod, it's not something that you would see on Delta Airlines, which I think is a plus for it.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

Good call.

[Seth Meyers]

Laser Cats 2.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Nurse Nancy.

[Jake Tapper]

No, no.

[Mike Schur]

But the name Scott Garbasiak goes in the Criterion Collection of great.

[Seth Meyers]

That goes in the Schur Collection. Schur.

[Mike Schur]

Absolutely.

[Seth Meyers]

Let me tell you something. Mike Schur will write a dumbass name off the top of your head. I wish I had done some of my research. Classic surname. Do you have any Just throw out for us?

[Mike Schur]

Oh, God. I mean, there's thousands. I mean, Toby Flenderson on the Offenderson.

[Jake Tapper]

Is a great one.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah. Which came from an SNL sketch I.

[Seth Meyers]

Wrote that I was in, which you.

[Mike Schur]

Were in that aired. Oh, my God. He had aired that thing. Aired.

[Seth Meyers]

One of my all time favorite Flenderson.

[Mike Schur]

Bose Flenderson. Giant carbos.

[Seth Meyers]

Flenderson's giant carbos.

[Mike Schur]

It was based on those, like, Lexus ads or whatever, where people come out and they present a brand new SUV to their wife or their husband or whatever, and there's a giant red bow on the top. And so you saw that happen a bunch of times. And then Seth's wife took him outside and presented a car to a new car. And he reacted very angrily. And his wife was like, you don't like it? And he's like, no, it's fine. But it doesn't have one of those giant red bows on the top. So I hate it. And he stormed back inside. And then it was for Flenderson's giant car bows, which are like, when you want to present your spouse with a new car for Christmas, you got to get a Flandersons.

[Seth Meyers]

Every time I see one of those ads, I think about my dad trying to get a bow around a car on Christmas morning. And the amount like, all right. Body fusion.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Jake Tapper]

I mean, I appreciate it, but no.

[Seth Meyers]

I would say Kim's videos.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Seth Meyers]

That's a classic. Kim's video. Andy popping into frame.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Business meeting.

[Mike Schur]

No. But you know that I love. This is the. Maybe the greatest classic. Too many of the Lonely Island.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. You love it. Too many.

[Mike Schur]

I love it. Too many. And this was a excellent one with an excellent ending, I should add, too.

[Seth Meyers]

The building being destroyed, but no United way ad.

[Mike Schur]

This was a hard one. What did you say, Jake? No, I ultimately said no. But I love this sketch so much.

[Seth Meyers]

I think it has a unique. On its own, I think it's ESPN Classic.

[Mike Schur]

Oh, new category, New category. ESPN ESPN Classic.

[Seth Meyers]

ESPN Classic.

[Mike Schur]

All right.

[Seth Meyers]

And it just goes ESPN Classic Comedy.

[Jake Tapper]

So this is just because you're a sports fan and you're kind of like putting it aside in a special.

[Seth Meyers]

I just think for sports comedy, it's as high as you get.

[Mike Schur]

You wrote it, right, Seth?

[Seth Meyers]

I did, yes.

[Mike Schur]

So the thing that I want to give you props for specifically is when athletes host you. And I loved it. People like us love it. Who are huge sports fans.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

And they're usually like, good in a clumsy way because they're not scared about the crowd or the live TV aspect because they perform live all the time, but they're usually not, like, excellent Comedians. I think this is the best performance in a sketch ever given by an athlete that I can think of.

[Seth Meyers]

It's unreal.

[Mike Schur]

It's incredible. And granted, he's literally playing himself and he's playing football, but the only things that come close to me are Tom Brady in the sexual harassment video, which is a very specific kind of. You don't have to act to act in this thing. Jeter in the. Derek Jeter sucks. No, I don't.

[Seth Meyers]

Thank you.

[Mike Schur]

Back and forth that you wrote.

[Seth Meyers]

You, I believe.

[Mike Schur]

I think we wrote together. Yeah. But I think this is the best athlete acting ever. Peyton uses football to teach valuable lessons of communication.

[Seth Meyers]

Check, check, check, check. Watch the Sam.

[Mike Schur]

Watch the Sam. Pink Pete.

[Jake Tapper]

Watch the Blitz.

[Mike Schur]

Brown 55 Razor.

[Seth Meyers]

Open, kid, open. Get your head out of your ass.

[Mike Schur]

You suck. Let's go. Let's go.

[Jake Tapper]

Get back in here.

[Seth Meyers]

Let's go. Except you.

[Mike Schur]

I can't even look at you. You know what? Let's take a portal out for 20 minutes.

[Seth Meyers]

That's right, dear sister.

[Mike Schur]

Yes, I agree.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm not going to tell you much about the voters, but I will tell you they do, too.

[Mike Schur]

I agree.

[Jake Tapper]

It's an obvious one. Honestly, dear sister, by the time you read this.

[Seth Meyers]

Roy rules.

[Mike Schur]

Roy rules. I say no, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Because I know there are more than.

[Jake Tapper]

A hundred of these. And, you know, if there were 200, who knows, maybe Roy Rolls would be in the top 40, but in the top 100 and it's 101 from a certain year. And I don't even know if you guys are adding the new ones from this season, but I just don't think it's top 20. But, you know, it might be top 25.

[Mike Schur]

Syllabus.

[Seth Meyers]

Kim's videos.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah, I would agree to that. Also, a special shout out to succulent rubdowns and my dong is his peg leg. You can't ignore that kind of lyrical genius.

[Seth Meyers]

They're great.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah, I think so. Syllabus. Yeah, syllabus.

[Seth Meyers]

Talking dog.

[Mike Schur]

No.

[Jake Tapper]

Can I also say one of the reasons I give it a strike against talking dog is because the best dog SNL skit, not a Lonely island skit is when the scientific, like, now we know what the dog thinks and the dog was a Trump voter. That's just the best dog skit ever.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

Seth, what do you think is the best driving cat sketch ever in SNL history?

[Seth Meyers]

Don't put me on the spot. I haven't done any research. Can I just. I like the ones where the cat knows how to drive. I'm sorry.

[Mike Schur]

Oh, okay.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm just disappointed. I'm like, ugh. Oh, I ran so far.

[Jake Tapper]

Yes.

[Mike Schur]

Yes.

[Jake Tapper]

It's a classic.

[Seth Meyers]

Classic. I park my vessel in so I try to mute the TV but you can still see me with your sleepy.

[Mike Schur]

Brown eyes but up you can thighs.

[Seth Meyers]

And your hairy butt.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah. Okay.

[Seth Meyers]

It's great. Brian Diaries.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

And I will say you should probably recuse yourself.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah, I'm going to recuse. I thought we were.

[Seth Meyers]

I thought just cuz it's like newsman v. Newsman. We know how you guys people getting punched right before eating.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Kim's videos though. Grandkids in the movies.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Cute.

[Mike Schur]

Not Criterion.

[Seth Meyers]

The mirror.

[Mike Schur]

I say yes.

[Jake Tapper]

That's the one with Elliot Page, right?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

Correct.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah. I'll give it to. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, someone's in here.

[Mike Schur]

Someone's in here.

[Seth Meyers]

Hero song.

[Mike Schur]

This was the hardest one for me.

[Jake Tapper]

I understand why. Let me guess why.

[Mike Schur]

Okay.

[Jake Tapper]

Because it is really good. But it could have been better.

[Mike Schur]

I wouldn't put it like that because Andy's my friend.

[Seth Meyers]

But I don't think it could have been better. I think it hit the ceiling of what it is.

[Mike Schur]

I kind of agree. I think it's incredibly well executed. But its sum total is not quite at the level that you would need for Criterion in terms of substance. It's just an incredibly well executed premise and idea. But at the end of the day it's one joke. And I think the Criterion requires more than one excellent joke.

[Jake Tapper]

That's a better way of saying when I said. I mean, I think the issue is act one is great, act two is hilarious and there isn't an act three.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

I still think for me, and it's why it's a solid Kim's videos is that I love so much when Andy sings big.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And gets so far over his skis. And so like when I think of like favorite lyrics of mine that make me smile every time I think about him. It's just like when I look out on the city. Like, it's just the best. So much crime and evil everywhere, Deceit and lies.

[Mike Schur]

Brothers turning on their brothers.

[Seth Meyers]

Sisters stealing from their sisters. Where the dying go to die.

[Mike Schur]

It's an incredible performance. It's a great observation about characters like Batman. There are really excellent twists in it. Like I think you mentioned this on the pod when he opens the recycling and he shakes his head sadly at the cardboard.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

There's just little tiny grace notes in it that are wonderful. I think it's absolutely syllabus or Kim's videos But not quite criterion.

[Seth Meyers]

Andy's dad.

[Jake Tapper]

Yes.

[Mike Schur]

I say no.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, interesting. All right, we'll start with a yes. Make your case, Tapp.

[Jake Tapper]

First of all, always great to see Downey. I mean, he's just really good. And Jonah Hill, he's got that great, like, incredibly, since straight delivery.

[Seth Meyers]

He's a wonderful actor.

[Jake Tapper]

Yeah. And just the love scenes, it's just hilarious. It's just a very hilarious. Although I will say I don't think of the skit when I think of Jonah Hill. Unlike Rihanna and Natalie Portman.

[Seth Meyers]

Yep.

[Jake Tapper]

But, yeah, I mean, I just. It's a consistent laugh.

[Mike Schur]

Is this a joke? No. I mean, I wish it was a joke. It's.

[Seth Meyers]

It would be easier if it was a joke. It's just that Ben is my dad. Yes, Your dad. My boyfriend, whatever. You guys want to cut me out, but it's.

[Mike Schur]

It's not as if you're. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Seth Meyers]

It's gotten extraordinarily physical. I mean, take that however you want.

[Mike Schur]

I agree with all that. I think Downey's incredible. If you could ever get Downey to do your sketch, it was like a home run every time, because the guy's incredible. I have, like, a tiny quibble with it. Andy's great. Jonah's incredible. Downey's great. I think that ultimately, the thing that gets the biggest laugh is, like, Jonah kissing Downey. And I just can't quite bring myself to say this is a Criterion Collection thing when it's not quite gay panic, but it's like gay panic adjacent, where it's like, ha, ha, ha, that man is kissing that other man, and I can't. And it's funny. They didn't do anything wrong. It's not homophobic or anything.

[Seth Meyers]

No.

[Mike Schur]

But I think the reaction to it is, like, a little bit over the top based on the premise of the.

[Seth Meyers]

It is that trick where the reaction is almost makes you judge it more than the actual work. If you watched it quietly in a room, you wouldn't feel that way.

[Mike Schur]

That's right.

[Jake Tapper]

I felt the comedy wasn't gay panic adjacent as much as it was. Look at Jonah making out with this old man.

[Mike Schur]

That is the charitable read on it, certainly. And I do think it's also a little bit of, like, this very famous actor Jonah Hill, is kissing Jim Downey, and, like, the two personalities involved are also part of it. But I just. I don't know. It doesn't quite rise to the level of criterion for me.

[Seth Meyers]

Laser Cats 3D.

[Jake Tapper]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Daiquiri Girl.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

Best look in the world.

[Mike Schur]

No, no.

[Seth Meyers]

A hardcore Kim's video for me.

[Mike Schur]

Excellent Kim's video.

[Seth Meyers]

I feel like that's the dude where a guy slides it across the counter. He's like, hey, kid, you want comedy? Because I will say, much like Roy Rule's lyrics, cool breeze tickle in your knee pits is as good a line as they've ever written.

[Mike Schur]

I laughed so hard when I watched it again after the pod, I remembered I had a, like a. A Proustian memory of seeing it the first time and seeing the words pale stems across some like meaty white legs and like bursting out laughing. Yeah, I think it's absolute. Kim's videos category was made for the best look in the world to me.

[Jake Tapper]

Jimmy Capps crowning like a newborn. I mean, that is Nobel prize winning poetry.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, but.

[Mike Schur]

But you guys also, in the original discussion, absolutely nailed the problem with it, which is that it starts a full octave and a half too high and too fast. Too fast.

[Seth Meyers]

Just amazing.

[Jake Tapper]

And it's also contradictory, as you point out. It's contradictory.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, yeah, it's great. It's great. And the Japanese office?

[Mike Schur]

No.

[Jake Tapper]

Oh, I say no. And I. But I do wonder, recusal wise, if Mr. Schur is bringing any of his office baggage with him, I will say.

[Mike Schur]

So when Steve hosted it, was that the first time or second time he hosted? I don't remember now.

[Seth Meyers]

Second.

[Mike Schur]

Second. It was a very big deal when he hosted the show for us. Even though I think by that point the show, the Office, was fairly well established and it was a very big deal that he hosted. A big deal that Rain hosted. Like, you know, I worked at snl, but you still feel like SNL at some point, some level is an arbiter of what matters in the culture. And when he did the Japanese office, I remember being a little bit rankled. Like, I was a little rankled. I loved the first time when Rain hosted and you did the like, parody of the Office with his monologue. I was like, they're nailing this. Everyone's nailing it. Sudeika's nailing it. Wig's nailing it. Everyone's great. This. I was a little bit like, oh, okay. Like, it didn't feel right to me in some way. It didn't like, I don't know, it didn't like, scratch the itch of like, reflecting the show in the way that I was hoping the show would be reflected somehow. I don't know how to describe it.

[Seth Meyers]

I do like that there was lazy Scranton.

[Mike Schur]

Right.

[Seth Meyers]

So I liked that SNL was in the world of the Office and then the Office was in the world of snl. The Uroboros, as you like to say, Jake.

[Jake Tapper]

I find it was going back to milk a cow a second time. Right?

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Jake Tapper]

I mean, that's. If Rainn had not done his Office homage with Sudeikis and wig and all that. And then this was the first time that we saw that. Maybe.

[Mike Schur]

I also just don't quite understand the premise of it. Cause it's like they stole the show from me, but I stole it from the Japanese version. But then all the actors in the Japanese version are white people. It sort of didn't track to me somehow.

[Seth Meyers]

And on the 34th one, we run into our first logic problem.

[Mike Schur]

We knew we'd get there eventually.

[Seth Meyers]

All right, so just to go through, you guys said yes to Lazy Sunday, Natalie's rap, Dick in a Box, you said yes. Yes on Dear Sister, a yes on Iran so far, a yes on the Mirror, you were a split on Laser Cats, a split on Andy's dad. And I think that's basically where we are. I'm going to bring in our final guest, who is Alan Sepinwall, who is joining us now. Hello, Alan.

[Alan Sepinwall]

Gentlemen, good to see you.

[Seth Meyers]

Alan is a television critic for Rolling Stone. I think he was the first person who recapped television.

[Alan Sepinwall]

Maybe not the first, but one of the first.

[Seth Meyers]

We used to just watch tv and that would be. You never think about it again. And then Alan was like, no, I'm going to write. We did it for the Sopranos and NYPD Blue. He's written a great many books. Two books on the OC Breaking Bad book on the Sopranos. He and Matt Zoller Seitz wrote a great book about the hundred greatest television shows. Alan, thank you for joining us.

[Alan Sepinwall]

My pleasure to be here.

[Seth Meyers]

You've been listening a little bit, and I just want to open the floor. Have these two made any terrible mistakes?

[Alan Sepinwall]

Terrible, No. I mean, they're definitely going small hall here, which I think I endorse. I had to shortlist myself, which was a little longer. I think the only one I might strongly disagree on is Roy Rules, which I have, like, just the softest of soft spots for. Just because there's so many great jokes in there. Like I think Andy noted in the episode you did on that, when he says he loves wearing T shirts and Roy is wearing like a button down and a tie, like that's. It doesn't get better than that.

[Seth Meyers]

Not a big tent joke, but a pretty great joke.

[Alan Sepinwall]

But there's so many of them in that one sketch, so I would say that. I would agree. United Way is. It's a great sketch. It does not feel like a Lonely island sketch. It's a Peyton Manning sketch, so that shouldn't be on there. So, wait, did you guys not take any of the Laser Cats?

[Jake Tapper]

We split. I was pro first. Laser Cats.

[Mike Schur]

I was anti.

[Alan Sepinwall]

I feel like you have to have a Laser Cats somewhere in criteria.

[Jake Tapper]

I agree with that 100%. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

So you missed. We did say, though, what if there were, like, two other categories? One is additional reading, which is. These are important if you were doing a college course on it. It. And another would be Kim's videos, which is. This is not, you know, high art. But if you're sort of like a deep cut fan.

[Mike Schur]

Outsider.

[Alan Sepinwall]

Yeah, but I just think that Laser Cats is so fundamental to the story of the Lonely island and of the digital shorts. You have to have one on there, even if you're not like, the hugest fan of the idea or the execution.

[Mike Schur]

It's.

[Alan Sepinwall]

I mean, they did five of them. Seven. I've lost track.

[Jake Tapper]

Alan, which one would you put on? If you could only pick one?

[Seth Meyers]

Which one was Chris Dodd in?

[Alan Sepinwall]

I would probably do. I think Chris Dodd was in 3D, which is also the one with Walken. So it's got Walken, it's got Chris Dodd, it's got Keenan, it's got Andy getting his bionic eye. I mean, I think that's your one.

[Jake Tapper]

I love how Chris Dodd is mentioned alongside Chris Walken.

[Seth Meyers]

And. Yeah, I mean, it's got the two Chrises.

[Mike Schur]

The big two.

[Alan Sepinwall]

Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

You know, kids, before it was like Evans and Pratt and Pine. Our Chrises were Dodd and Walk. Alan, is it safe to say that you were a fan, having written two books about the OC that you were a fan of Dear Sister?

[Alan Sepinwall]

Yes. I remember watching that and realizing what they were doing and saying, wait, they're doing a parody of that. And I just couldn't believe it. And like, a lot of their humor, they just kind of kept going to the well and going to the well. And the more they did it, the funnier it got. Until you get to the moment where the song just sort of keeps restarting over and over and over again in the span of about 10 seconds. I mean, maybe that's in some ways, like, the quintessential Lonely island sketch.

[Mike Schur]

Cause a.

[Alan Sepinwall]

It goes back to their origins with the boo. It's making fun of something that by that point was relatively obscure. And, like, they sort of kept picking at the scab over and over again until they got through all of it.

[Seth Meyers]

It did not require any knowledge of the oc And I would argue that while OC fans might have liked that moment of, oh, I recognize this, I don't think OC fans enjoyed it any more than, say, I did not having known the scene.

[Mike Schur]

Agreed. Almost as well, I can say that, by the way, my wife, J.J. feldman, wrote for the OC and was there for that episode. And her head exploded when we watched it because she was like. Cause it had been years since that had aired. It had been some long amount of time. And what she realized in that moment, which I think is important to note here, it was marking the Lonely island as, like, the next gen comedy. Like, for them, that was nostalgia. Now, where for people in my generation and my wife's generation, it was like, that was just our lives. But for the Lonely island, they were like. Like tapping into a. Like, fairly recent nostalgia, but a nostalgia nonetheless, which I think is a kind of crucial point.

[Jake Tapper]

Interesting.

[Seth Meyers]

She worked on the show when that episode aired.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Does she remember where she was?

[Jake Tapper]

In the backfield?

[Mike Schur]

She's with Neil Armstrong.

[Seth Meyers]

The. I also, because, again, it speaks to the integrity and the ethics of these guys. It was not the cheap nostalgia where you get a laugh because everybody recognizes what you're doing. It was genuinely not built on the. It was. They were nostalgic for it, but they knew that that had no currency with their audience.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alan Sepinwall]

It's like, cool guys don't look at explosions. It's just sort of. It's taking a trope and, you know.

[Seth Meyers]

Hanging a hat on it and anything else. Alan, we do appreciate you coming on. I feel like they just had to have some quality control here.

[Mike Schur]

Smart.

[Alan Sepinwall]

No, no, I think they did a good job. I mean, the only one I even really thought about that's not on their list is the tangent. And that's one I think I discovered through the pod because it's. It was so hard to find for so long. But I think that's probably more of a Kim's video anyway.

[Seth Meyers]

I think that might be like, in a. I don't know, a grad school program on Fred.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

They maybe show you the tangent.

[Mike Schur]

Yep.

[Seth Meyers]

Yes.

[Mike Schur]

That's a good call. It's like when you. You go and look at, like, the Mona Lisa or whatever, but then if you're a student who's studying at the Louvre, they'll be like, you should look at these early sketches of the Mona Lisa, and they're like, they're like pencil sketches where you can see the future. Genius. But it isn't quite fully realized on the page.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. You're like, at one point, this is Nick F. But it didn't start at Nick Fane.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah. Yes. And when. Nick. When. If you're a Nick Fane fan, to understand Nick Fane, you have to go back and watch the tangent. Yes. 100%.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah.

[Alan Sepinwall]

And, like, Andy doesn't have to be the central character in a short for it to be Criterion, because he's not in Natalie's rap. He just does a verse. But it has to, in some way, like, have the sensibility of those guys in order, I think, to cooperate.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jake Tapper]

I think that's why United Way isn't Criterion.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay, we get it. All right. Fucking. The one I wrote isn't Criterion. Jesus. Back to it a third time.

[Mike Schur]

It's a great stance. Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Schur]

Great.

[Seth Meyers]

Great. Thanks.

[Mike Schur]

But harpoon man is. Harpoon man is. To be clear.

[Jake Tapper]

So we decided on the 34 that we went through. We decided six unanimously, and then we diverged on two. So I picked eight and. Sure. Picked six. I think that's good because they get stronger. I think the Lonely island oeuvre, I think, like, as they proceed, I would.

[Mike Schur]

Say the next 34 are likely to have more than 6, 100% that we both would agree on. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And just to echo what you said earlier, every single one of these is fun to go back and watch.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah, they're all great.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Alan Sepinwall]

I will say, just because, you know, the odds of me and Mike being on this podcast again a second time, maybe not that high. One day I was at the Parks and Rec writers room, and they played Captain Jack Sparrow on the writers room TV at least seven times.

[Mike Schur]

Endlessly. Absolutely endlessly. And also, that was, like, the first one that my son got into.

[Jake Tapper]

So good.

[Mike Schur]

And, like, knew all the words, too. So, like, I think Jake's right. The speed at which the Criterion is filled up is going to accelerate.

[Seth Meyers]

So it's good that we sort of tap the brakes a little bit, you know, purposefully. We're appreciating their excellence.

[Jake Tapper]

There was a mindfulness to this.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah. Good word for it.

[Jake Tapper]

That's also one of the reasons that we're honored that we are chosen to be Criterion judges.

[Mike Schur]

Yeah. And that no one else will get to weigh in one way or the other. This is the definitive.

[Seth Meyers]

Agreed. And just real quick. And I do appreciate your time. Before we go, Jake, if you could just help me do the ad read for. We're doing MSNBC is the sponsor and I would love to get you to join in for that tired of the.

[Jake Tapper]

News warm bath of resistance nonsense.

[Mike Schur]

All right.

[Seth Meyers]

I can't put it on a tee and then be mad at Tapper for taking a great big hack.

[Mike Schur]

I will say, just for the record, to prepare for this, I did some research. I looked into what the Criterion Collection's actual mission statement is. Oh, it's interesting. If you want to hear it. Yes, please. What it says on the website is this. It says, Since 1984, the Criterion Collection has been dedicated to publishing important classic and contemporary films from around the world in additions that offer the highest technical quality and award winning original supplements. And what's interesting about that is how completely unhelpful it is in terms of determining what it is that they're looking for in a Criterion Collection movie.

[Seth Meyers]

I love Criterion Collection. I do feel like in recent years they've maybe expanded a little bit. Have they? I'm all for it, by the way. But, you know, all of a sudden it's like tremors or whatever. I don't know if that's it, but I feel like there's a couple, like, tremors is good. Tremors is good. But if you, you know, like all of a sudden, if you're like, oh, okay, I did something for Criterion.

[Jake Tapper]

You know, I did an introduction for the Manchurian Candidate. So I feel like that's also that Criterion expertise. I actually did something for Criterion, Seth. Which you didn't bring up. I don't know why.

[Seth Meyers]

No, I know. Well, you kept bringing it up on text. All right, gentlemen, thank you. I really appreciate this special episode.

[Jake Tapper]

And it's sad because you're not going to end it by telling us that you love us.

[Seth Meyers]

Of course I was. Well, I know I would feel insincere if I did, so let me just say with a firm handshake, I appreciated our time together.

[Alan Sepinwall]

I appreciate our time together too, Seth.

[Seth Meyers]

That's really nice.

[Jake Tapper]

Good job.

[Mike Schur]

Love you guys.

[Seth Meyers]

Hey, everybody, this is Seth. We have just signed off with Mike and Jake and Alan and we wanted to do a quick recap. We realized that would be a helpful thing to do here at the end. So, as I see it, and I do want to talk one last time with our Lonely island trio to make sure they sign off as well, Here are the no brainer Criterion Collection nominees after our first 34. Lazy Sunday is in. Natalie's Rap is in. Dick in a Box is in. Dear Sister is in. Iran so far is in. So those are the Five for sure. And then there were two yes votes for the mirror from Mike and Jake, but the mirror did not receive a plurality of votes from you, the listeners. Andy's dad did receive a plurality but did not receive 75% of the plurality and was a split vote between Jake and Mike. So I'm going to ask the guys how they feel about that, that people getting punched almost got 75% from the voters. Two nos from our guest pickers, so that one will come up as well. And then we are going to have to discuss Laser Cats. Laser cats received over 75% of the vote. It got a yes from Jake. It got a no from Mike. It got a yes from Alan. So on that, I feel as though we're going to have to let the guys be maybe the tiebreaker. So we have five in for sure. We have three maybes. And I also want to run down with the trio how they feel about our Kim's videos, how they feel about the additional reading selections as well. All right, thanks, everybody, for listening. Thanks one last time to Alan and Mike and Jake. And the next time I'll be back, it'll be with the fellas. All right, Be well.

[Mike Schur]

All.