Tizzle Wizzle Show

Summary

The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast — "Tizzle Wizzle Show" (Oct 7, 2025)

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode brings together Seth Meyers and The Lonely Island (Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone) for a deep-dive into their time at SNL, focusing on the creation and legacy of their SNL Digital Shorts—especially the "Tizzle Wizzle Show." The group engages in behind-the-scenes reminiscence, shares stories about cast members and guests, discusses the evolution of their creative process, and revisits classic sketches, including ones that never aired. The tone remains light, irreverent, and filled with in-jokes, tangents, and warmth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chaotic Comedy Chemistry & Podcast Tone

• Opening Banter: The episode launches with the usual playful back-and-forth, mock complaints about recording methods, and riffing about 'being really rolling' (i.e., on ecstasy vs. recording tape) [00:04–00:26].
• Classic Film Tangent: The group detours into a detailed riff on Basic Instinct, TV edits, and the atmospherics of '90s thrillers, noting the comedy inherent in awkwardly dubbed-for-TV curse words.
  • Akiva: “If you go onto the DVD extras…there’s a thing…like an edited thing of all the clips of the TV version… it seems like it’s a comedy” [00:48–01:44].
  • On "Atmos": Akiva highlights heavy visual 'atmosphere' (smoke/fog) from ’80s/‘90s action films and jokes about its overuse [02:47–03:56].

2. SNL Production & the Creative Process

• Art/Commenter Feedback: They discuss fan comments about a drawing that made Andy look like Mark Cuban (“cube job”), segueing into how online communities interact with their work [05:23–06:13].
• Lost Demos & Tech Fails: The group laments lost demo recordings of “Shy Ronnie” due to casual data management at SNL, poking fun at Jorma for being a "massive flake" [07:37–08:18].
• Writing Music on SNL: Seth expresses surprise at how beats are bought/sold in hip hop, crediting their shorts for not patronizing the audience [09:36–10:11].

3. Revisiting Unseen or Underloved Material

• Weekend Update’s “Nicolas Cage” (Andy Samberg’s Impression): The group watches/re-enacts a cut “Nicolas Cage” Weekend Update bit.
  • Seth observes, "It’s great that it didn’t air because Get in the Cage is better than that" [15:20–15:27].
  • Discussion about how recurring characters get progressively refined over multiple tries (e.g., Wayne's World, Get in the Cage) [29:47–30:13].
• “Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals”:
  • Andy performs the bit, riffing with the gang about whether the reindeer in the sketch was real and joking about being “mauled by a reindeer” [21:44–23:44].

4. The Anatomy of The “Tizzle Wizzle Show”

• Context & Influences: The sketch is called a “perverse take on children's programming,” echoing shows like Wonder Showzen, Yo Gabba Gabba, and The Wiggles [29:17–34:02].
• Execution & Review:
  • “Short and sweet,” says Seth.
  • They praise the execution, comedic escalation (“jammies, then knives, then pills, then war”), and the solution of using glow sticks to suggest violence without showing it [32:53–33:56].
  • Jorma: “Don’t have a cow. Callback. My favorite part.” [33:45–33:50]
• Who Made What?: Jorma believes “The Jammy Shuffle” started with an idea of his, but all agree it was collaborative, and Yorma was especially involved in the song production [28:51–41:13].
• Criterion or Not?: The group jokingly debates if the short is "Criterion Collection" worthy, ultimately deciding it's "Kim's Video" tier—very good, but not quite top-shelf [34:25–34:43].

5. Sketch Structure and Table-Read Memories

• “Kickspit Underground Rock Festival”:
  • They revisit the Juggalos-inspired festival sketch with Sudeikis and Nasim, noting its collaborative "junk-drawer" nature at the rewrite table, and the joy of pitching band names and event ideas [41:42–45:30].
  • Mike O’Brien, the writer, shares (via voice note) that only Yorma could do the sketch’s voiceover justice:
  • “It’d be like if you went to Star Wars and some regular guy was doing Darth Vader’s voice…” [46:17–46:31]

6. SNL Ephemera & Behind-the-Scenes

• Revealing SNL Dynamics:
  • The hallway outside Lorne’s office is described as the scene of both Kanye debating with Che and "where Baze would have told you your stuff was last cut." [39:29–40:11]
  • Sketches may be cut for reasons as trivial as "too many daggers in one show" [34:49–34:56].

7. Listener Interaction & Ongoing In-Jokes

• Bee Archive/NYT Puzzle Recap Segment:
  • They finally circle back to their ongoing New York Times games “tease,” running down what words they missed (e.g., "cidification," "fontina," "finito") and riffing on their puzzle failures [51:01–52:39].
• Name-Dropping & Viewer Comments:
  • Listeners correct a mistaken “penis” postcard—insisting it said “pelvis”—and there's a long-running gag about Yorma’s propensity to drop celebrity names (“name-dropperitis”) [49:00–50:06].

8. Reflections on Friendship and Collaboration

• Nostalgia & Affection:
  • Recollections of first SNLs, Bill Hader's 20th anniversary texts, and the enduring decades-long alliances underscore the episode [24:24–25:07; 24:30–24:35].
  • The group wraps with warmth and humor, referencing Shawshank Redemption and missing their friend Yorma (who arrives just in time for the “sign off”) [50:14–53:00].

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Clean TV Movie Dubs:
  "I've never in my life seen [a DVD extra] just cutting to the funniest times. It seems like it's a comedy." — Akiva Schaffer [00:48–01:44]

• On Children’s Sketch 'Violence':
  "The glow sticks, just solving the problem of how we will not actually watch the violence." — Seth Meyers [33:50–33:56]

• On Why SNL Material Gets Cut:
  "Do you think Nick Cage got cut because it also had a dagger?" — Seth Meyers [34:49–34:56]

• On Revisiting “Mark Wahlberg Talks…”
  "I know for a fact I've never been mauled by a reindeer. But I immediately was like, oh God, I hope I don't get mauled." — Jorma Taccone [23:44]

• On Collaborative Writing:
  "All it is is a perfect structure to just throw on dumb ideas." — Seth Meyers (re: 'Underground Festival' sketch) [43:39–43:47]

• On Podcast Placement:
  "Never leave the pod. You leave the pod, you get trashed." — Akiva Schaffer [35:18]

• On Friendship:
  "Not to be all Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption, but I miss my friend." — Seth Meyers [50:16]

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:10–04:00]: Opening riff on recording techniques, "rolling," and Basic Instinct TV dubs
• [07:37–08:18]: Lost “Shy Ronnie” demo discussion
• [12:04–14:28]: Andy Samberg as Nicolas Cage on Weekend Update (excerpt and reactions)
• [21:44–23:44]: “Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals” performed and recapped
• [32:53–33:56]: “Tizzle Wizzle Show” watched and dissected
• [43:39–45:39]: “Kickspit Underground Rock Festival” sketch breakdown & O’Brien’s voice note
• [50:16–50:37]: Closing sentiments and reflections on missing Yorma
• [51:01–52:39]: New York Times games recap
• [52:54–53:00]: Yorma joins in as the show wraps (“Later, Arnold!”)

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Closing Thoughts

This episode stands out for its insider SNL anecdotes, warmth and comedic improvisation among old friends. If you love hearing how iconic sketches are made, want to know what bits almost made it to air, or just enjoy gleeful riffing about absurd showbiz moments, this episode delivers. The discussion around "Tizzle Wizzle Show" and other shorts is less about nostalgia and more about understanding how comedy is crafted through risk, failure, and joyful collaboration—plus, how a good glow stick can solve any problem.

Transcript

[Andy Samberg]

Is the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I'm rolling. I'm recording mine analog onto tape, so it's a reel to reel. That's why I said, oh, it's real.

[Seth Meyers]

So you're technically really rolling.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, I'm rolling.

[Seth Meyers]

You're old school rolling.

[Jorma Taccone]

You're also really rosy, and you're rosy real.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Damn. I hope you were rolling for that. And by rolling, I mean on ecstasy.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, yeah, really? Rosie was always rolling on Molly.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Otherwise she's a great big deal.

[Seth Meyers]

That's too hot. Let me turn my mic, my headphones down.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'm glad we waited till we were rolling to figure that out. Seth. Unbelievable.

[Seth Meyers]

You guys hear me? All right? How do I. How do I sound to you guys?

[Akiva Schaffer]

You sound fine.

[Jorma Taccone]

You know what else was so hot, Seth?

[Seth Meyers]

What's that?

[Jorma Taccone]

Basic Instinct.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, Basic Instinct. Do you remember the original?

[Akiva Schaffer]

That white outfit? Remember?

[Seth Meyers]

Right? Oh, the white outfit.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Can I actually say a real thing about Basic Instinct? If you go onto what I assume would be the DVD Blu Ray extra features that are now on itunes if you buy it, there is a thing that was cut together by the home video department as, like, a bonus feature, along with all the behind the scenes, and it's a string out, meaning like an edited thing of all the clips of the TV version. So it just shows you, like, a moment where it's like Michael Douglas saying, you know, like, did I fuck her? Yeah, you know, I fucked her, but that doesn't matter, whatever the line is. And then it goes to black for a second and then it comes back up. Same exact scene. And now he's going, did I frick with her? Yeah, of course I fricked it with her. And as we all know from watching, you know, I think we've talked about, like, Mickey Fickey on Do the Right Thing and all the fun. Funniness of clean versions. I've never in my life seen it as a DVD extra feature. Just cutting to the funniest times. It seems like it's a comedy. It's so.

[Seth Meyers]

It's so random to do to the cast. Like, yeah, we're gonna show the. How you got, like, cut up.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's also voice doubles. You know, back in the day, they didn't get Michael Douglas.

[Jorma Taccone]

Boy, they might have just been scraping the barrel for extras, clearly.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And they're like, what else we got? We're like. We're like, well, we got those funny ones we did for when it airs on tv. Let's just show those.

[Seth Meyers]

Putting all the horniness aside from Basic Instinct, I will tell you that when I saw it in the theaters, when it ended, I had a real. Like, this is one of the greatest thrillers ever made.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, you're not wrong.

[Seth Meyers]

Like, genuinely gasped at the end, the ice pick and like, went home and told my parents, like, it's groundbreaking.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You probably hadn't seen a lot of sexy R rated thrillers.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But Basic Instinct holds up. When's the last time have you seen it?

[Seth Meyers]

I have not seen it in so long.

[Akiva Schaffer]

May I recommend a viewing of Basic Instinct?

[Seth Meyers]

Great. But you would recommend I see it on network television, right, with the frickins in there?

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, I think you. I think you watch it the real way and then you enjoy the real.

[Jorma Taccone]

Keev. Scale of 1 to 10, how much Atmos?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I mean, we're at a 95.

[Jorma Taccone]

A 95 out of 10.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, I went out of 100. A 9.5.

[Jorma Taccone]

9.5.

[Seth Meyers]

What's an Atmos? What's atmos?

[Jorma Taccone]

Like pumping smoke into the scenes. Atmosphere.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Visible atmosphere that any movie still to this day uses but uses much more delicately than in the 90s. Also, they didn't have computer color correction where you can kind of crush it away if you want to get rid of some afterwards.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

What's the most atmos you think ever in a movie? Is it like Cobra Stallone?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, might be that era. Like. Like Running man, you know, like, he's out in that city and they've built all those sets and they don't want you to see past like 40ft where there's no set left.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So they're really.

[Seth Meyers]

So every interrogation's over an open steam grate?

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, it doesn't read Bully as smoke, Seth. That's what's.

[Seth Meyers]

It's like steam. That's what I mean. It's like, it feels like just like.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Street heat, but it makes things look like a movie. You notice the first time you put it into a music video shot or a movie shot that you're like, oh, that's the difference between an episode of Brooklyn nine Nine and an episode of Game of Thrones.

[Andy Samberg]

Wow.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Perfect one to one comparison.

[Seth Meyers]

That's great.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Also, less dragons.

[Seth Meyers]

Less dragons.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But beyond that same show, we tried to ape Basic Instinct for Naked Gun for how it looks, among other things.

[Seth Meyers]

You had a lot of atmos in Naked Gun.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

God, I thought I was throwing out just like a random ref and how it turned into whole preamble.

[Seth Meyers]

I should clarify for anybody who's wondering y is running late because it's Mari's birthday and he Just sent me a text that he's. Hold on, let me see this. Hanging lights.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, no. Yeah, man.

[Jorma Taccone]

Seth, that's not it. But I'm winking at you. They can't see that.

[Seth Meyers]

Hey, well, maybe should we get our. Should we get our New York Times stuff out of the way? Well, y's not here.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You want everybody to turn it off after three minutes, Go ahead.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. Because they now know what they came for.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, but you're not saying they turn it off because we start. You mean they turn it off when we finish it.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's all they've been waiting for.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Correct. They wait. It's tease it being like, hey, everybody, stay tuned. Stay tuned. Later on, Seth and Andy will reveal if they quibbied. So stay tuned. You should be throwing it. Anytime we go to commercial doing ads, you should be talking.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, yeah. It's like teasing who the presenters are going to be on an award show. Oh, man. Can you believe it? They're going to present.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, then just do Seth, then hold Andy for the. For the last act.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm just going to read some random comments then.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, hit us in Artidis.

[Seth Meyers]

Hit us in Artidis. Somebody wrote, it's pronounced shy ranney, which I liked. After everything we played Rihanna. After we did all that, we posted Tapper's artwork. And the first comment underneath it was, total cube job. And I had forgotten. I was like, what's a cube job? And a cube job is when you draw somebody and they look like Mark Cuban.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, you get Mark Cuban.

[Seth Meyers]

I forgot already. And then a bunch of people said, I couldn't believe that anybody could draw Andy to look like Mark Cuban. And a bunch of people were like, yeah. No, he did.

[Jorma Taccone]

I mean, decidedly.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. So everybody was on Team Cube Job. Tapper has reached out. He's open to any notes. I mean, he'll hear this. I think your main note would be just make it look like you and not Mark Cuban. Right?

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, that's pretty much the note.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, it's a really strong draw.

[Seth Meyers]

Use your face. This again. I hate for Jake to get his criticism via the pod, but someone said, I can't believe Seth in a crazy wig looks the most like himself. Like, the three of you were farther away from you in terms of, like, more Tapper carnage. Oh, it's full Tapper Carnage.

[Jorma Taccone]

You know what, Tapper? Thanks for just being creative and doing anything. You know, now I'm backing off it. I just. I don't like to see a pile on. But you know what? I do like to See a pylon when I'm running for the end zone. Keith doesn't get that because he's a fucking dork. But me and Seth get it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's cool.

[Andy Samberg]

Still is.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You dive right into that sucker.

[Seth Meyers]

What is. What was the name of the actor and hung that shy Ronnie looked like.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, that's a Google real quick.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, just google it. Because there was a great comment and I feel like I should have written his name down.

[Jorma Taccone]

Charlie Saxton.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, that's it.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Somebody said love to imagine Charlie Sexton listening to the pod and then just hearing his name drop. Right. While he's making a hot dish of Mac and cheese.

[Akiva Schaffer]

There's a photo of him. He looks like a well adjusted adult man. He does not look like his character.

[Seth Meyers]

He's doing good. Yeah, we're not pilot out. We're like, there's no way for me.

[Jorma Taccone]

To imagine anyone listening to this not making Mac and cheese. And so that's.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm with whoever wrote that cuado right now is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, don't get too far away from me.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. Quao.

[Seth Meyers]

What you cooking?

[Jorma Taccone]

You using that extra butter?

[Andy Samberg]

Whole milk. Wait.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, hey, there was a question as you were talking about you singing the Rihanna lines in Shireni in the demo, did you guys save any of the demos? Is that an existing track where we could listen to it?

[Jorma Taccone]

It's gotta be somewhere.

[Akiva Schaffer]

We definitely have some of our demos around, but we were not thinking about the legacy of them at all. So, like something like that one that was done on an SNL writer's computer randomly in that office might probably be gone. And not to say something when yhorm can't defend himself, but it was yhorm's computer, right? So when he left that office, he probably didn't think like, I'll back this up to a hard drive and take it home and label it.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, right.

[Jorma Taccone]

Cause he's a massive flake.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He did say he was just at a restaurant like five minutes ago and got a Kuwait army. So we ought to remember to ask him about that when he shows up.

[Seth Meyers]

Queen bee is when you get everything. Someone suggested when you are super mad that you didn't get everything. And you know what they think the slang should be for you, Andy?

[Jorma Taccone]

What?

[Seth Meyers]

A Frisbee.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's the lowest version of queen.

[Jorma Taccone]

You started that. And I was like, there's no way I'm going to like this.

[Seth Meyers]

And then.

[Jorma Taccone]

I couldn't have been more wrong.

[Seth Meyers]

A lot of people were disappointed that we talked at length about the Peabody Award and then completely missed that. Literally, the next thing was Yorma talking about his body pee because he literally transitioned right from the Peabody to urinating.

[Jorma Taccone]

People were mad. We didn't catch that.

[Seth Meyers]

They were like, how that was right there for you guys to go pee body.

[Akiva Schaffer]

More like body pee.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

I mean, he didn't say, like, check.

[Seth Meyers]

Out my body pee, you guys, by everybody. Two people.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But it was there for him to have done it.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's true.

[Akiva Schaffer]

There was a segue waiting to happen.

[Jorma Taccone]

He should have done it. They're mad at Yoram. Like, all of us.

[Seth Meyers]

They're a little bit bad at Yarn. Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. I'm piling on him now because he's not here.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. He can't do anything.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, there was something I wanted to say about Shyrani that I forgot to.

[Jorma Taccone]

That you're attracted to again.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. This beat costs a lot of money, right? Yeah, that's. I really like that because we now, if you listen to the podcast, know that people buy beats, and some beats are, like, more expensive than other beats.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

I don't think I knew that as somebody who, like, enjoyed music that, like, you know, like, hip hop artists would buy beats.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes. And if you get a beat from someone who's really well established, it costs a lot more.

[Seth Meyers]

Yes. And what I liked is that you guys just wrote it the way you knew it to be true. It was that really good comedy writing advice, which is like, don't talk down to your audience. Like, just.

[Jorma Taccone]

I felt like the audience got that line too.

[Seth Meyers]

I did, too. But I'm wondering if maybe I was just the person who knew. Knew that the least. If Kanye on his own recorded himself doing the Shy Ronnie part, but full throated didn't, you know, do you think that would be, like, one of his first steps back into acceptance? Well, does it on his own dime.

[Jorma Taccone]

I mean, the first step would be figuring out what the fuck Shyranni's saying.

[Seth Meyers]

Right. But then, like, what if he just kind of cracks that? Or what if he writes. What if he goes out and writes a great Kanye version? Andy Samberg.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Mm.

[Seth Meyers]

Because we still don't have you arm.

[Jorma Taccone]

Seth, my old compatriot.

[Andy Samberg]

I love ya.

[Seth Meyers]

Ooh, can we just watch? I didn't. I meant to watch it, and then I was. I couldn't download it on my phone. How about a quick share screen? You did Nic Cage on Weekend Update.

[Jorma Taccone]

I saw the rundown just a second before we got on here, and I had no recollection of that.

[Seth Meyers]

So. Have you not done a get in the cage at this point.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, this is the first.

[Seth Meyers]

So you tried a solo and it got cut. This will be fascinating. You did cage, it got cut. And then obviously this is a good reminder again to the creative process that first drafts maybe don't work. Also, it's a real, I think pat on the back to you for knowing there was something there and sticking with it and figuring out getting the cage.

[Jorma Taccone]

I mean, I'm curious to see it. My theory is we thought it went great and you guys still cut it. And then I was. Me and Klein were like, the only way we're going to fucking get an update is to have celebrity guests that Seth and Baze can't say no to once they're there.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, we love Bayes especially loves celebs.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, he's like, oh, my God. He's always checking out slideshows of red carpets.

[Seth Meyers]

He's. That's the thing. You would like, go. He got his own Getty Image account. He'd just be like, oh, my God, look at this.

[Jorma Taccone]

He's like, I don't want all that text on the screen. I'll pay the fee.

[Seth Meyers]

The United nations just named Oscar winning actor Nicolas Cage, goodwill ambassador on drugs and crime for his contributions in humanitarian work. Here now to talk about his new responsibilities, Nicolas Cage.

[Andy Samberg]

Thank you. Thank you, Seth. It's great to be here. You know, I've always considered myself a bit of a global ambassador. It's nice to finally make it official.

[Seth Meyers]

So what exactly are we doing with this new position?

[Andy Samberg]

I'm gonna steal the Declaration of Independence.

[Seth Meyers]

No, no, no. Oh, no.

[Andy Samberg]

They'll never see us coming. Seth, quickly, look under your desk. There should be an engraved panel with Masonic seal. Push this shard against the engraving, you unlock the latch. The real Declaration will be inside and that will lead us to the treasure.

[Sadie]

Dick Cage.

[Seth Meyers]

That movie's like three years old.

[Andy Samberg]

I don't have time to explain this to you. Every second that you hesitate, people will die. Do you trust me? Okay, look, stop. You need to calm down, Nicolas Cage.

[Seth Meyers]

Let me just say I'm really enjoying that you and I are acting together right now.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's just me and you in an action movie. Basically.

[Seth Meyers]

It's basically as an actor movie. And again, I, Alex Bayes, we were joking about Baze being sort of a fan of celebs. Baze, a great joke writer. And Baze said the closest thing I ever came to a catchphrase is, I'm going to stop you right there. Cause like, ultimately, the one who got.

[Jorma Taccone]

You the doormat for your office.

[Seth Meyers]

He got me a doormat that says, I'm gonna stop you right there. He said that works two ways. Cause it also stops people from knocking.

[Jorma Taccone]

On your door, which you also like.

[Andy Samberg]

Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry, Seth.

[Seth Meyers]

Taking the shard away.

[Andy Samberg]

Take it. You'll need it later. I sometimes get overexcited. I go very deep into my characters and sometimes they spring up. Let's talk UN Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

Let's get back to this very serious UN matter.

[Andy Samberg]

Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

So what do you think being an ambassador will mean on a day to day basis? What will you actually do?

[Andy Samberg]

I'm gonna steal the Statue of Liberty. Yo. What? I know where it is, Seth. It's buried under the White House. The other one is a decoy built by James Madison to hide the treasure he stole from the Jefferson Memorial.

[Seth Meyers]

No, that's wrong.

[Andy Samberg]

Here, take this deck. No, but be careful. It's a relic from the tomb of Abraham Lincoln's dog. Put that dagger away, Nick Cage. I don't have time to argue with you, Seth. If you want to stay alive, come with me now. It's your choice, Senator. No, stop. Stop. Nicholas Cage.

[Seth Meyers]

You were not in one of your movies.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Please.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh, Seth.

[Seth Meyers]

Take this dagger.

[Andy Samberg]

Take the dagger. It could come in handy. Seth, you're gonna have to forgive me again.

[Seth Meyers]

I really enjoyed it.

[Jorma Taccone]

I call you Senator. My favorite thing of all that is Senator.

[Seth Meyers]

Also the fact that the music does not cut out hard, but rather just has like a low slow fade.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, yeah, you gotta love dress rehearsal.

[Seth Meyers]

That's probably a moment where Lauren turned to Baze and fucking sighed and it was dead.

[Jorma Taccone]

So you're gonna fix the fucking music like that? I'm just guessing. I was never under the bleachers.

[Andy Samberg]

I'm a very impassioned man. And of course, I'm a little bit crazy.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay. Now, despite my best instincts, I will ask you one more time. What are you gonna do as a UN ambassador?

[Andy Samberg]

I'm gonna eat the President of the United States. No, he can't switch faces with me. Seth. No. Take your dagger and your shirt and.

[Seth Meyers]

Get out of here.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay.

[Seth Meyers]

All right, here's the thing. It definitely could have aired. It's great that it didn't air because getting the cage is better than that.

[Jorma Taccone]

Sure.

[Seth Meyers]

And like in another life we do that and it's really fun. And you and I always talk about like. Remember that one time you played Nicolas Cage?

[Akiva Schaffer]

You think this would have hurt the chances to move on? To get in the cage?

[Seth Meyers]

Well, it's Also a different Nicolas Cage. This is a kind of smiley Nicolas Cage. And then the get in the cage Nicolas Cage, I think is more fun than this one. Even though this one was a lot of fun.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. It's still finding itself. This was much more national treasure based. It's all national treasure.

[Seth Meyers]

Yes. And then you became, I don't know, it was way more multi layered. Once you started getting in the cage.

[Jorma Taccone]

It became more unhinged. I mean, I. There's no way to know. There's no way to know.

[Seth Meyers]

There's no way to know. But it was very enjoyable. And I will say I'm having a great time. You can tell in my eyes that I am enjoying every second of it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Are you kidding me? You're riffing, you're going off cards.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm going off card of taking the dagger before you offer it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Feeling all silly and loose just because you knew you were gonna cut it.

[Seth Meyers]

Probably, yeah. I was like, this is the last time I'm ever gonna do this. Gotta make the most of it. By the way, you really burned me because basically you're like, okay, you don't want to do it with me, then I'll get Jake Gyllenhaal and you can sit off to the side and you don't have to be in the two shot anymore.

[Jorma Taccone]

I mean, what was on update that week? Not to like drill down on this.

[Seth Meyers]

I mean, I think we've got a Garth and Cat. If I'm. If memory serves, you were up against some heavy hitters.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay. But what else though?

[Seth Meyers]

You know, I will say where you probably got burned is like, I bet it was the other one was political.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

You know what I mean? Because it's like, I don't know if you remember, but it's kind of the newsy part of the show or at.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Least from the news that week, even if it's just topical. Yeah, I mean, I'm looking at the rundown from that week. It looks like it was Bill and Bobby doing Snooki.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

From Jersey Shore. So that's pretty political.

[Seth Meyers]

And they were kind of national. They had gone national at that point.

[Yoram]

Hey, guys, Yoram here. I just wanted to interrupt real quick. I know we're talking about Tizzle Wizzle and I love, love that short. But real quick, I just wanted to mention Rag and bone. Rag and Bones infused denim collection is made to fit your style, whether you like slim, straight, athletic or relaxed. These are jeans designed to look great and feel broke in from day one. Isn't that right, Zadie?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes.

[Yoram]

They've got stretch where you need it, structure where it matters, and they move with you so comfortably that you might forget that you're wearing denim. You know, when I first tried on these jeans, I could not believe how comfortable they were right out of the box. Isn't that right, Zadie?

[Seth Meyers]

Yes.

[Yoram]

They felt like jeans I had already worn in, but with a way better quality. Like when you first saw me in those jeans, what did you think?

[Seth Meyers]

It looked pretty good.

[Yoram]

Yeah, exactly. And if Zadie thinks that, you know, like, because her standards are very high. It's time to upgrade your denim with Rag and Bone. For a limited time, our listeners will get 20 off their entire order with code [e-mail]. that's 20 off at rag-bone.com with promo code Island. When they ask where you heard about them, please support our show and let them know we sent you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yes, support for the Lonely island and Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb. I wish I roped Liz into this because it's her parents. When her parents come to town, you know, we have a guest room, but it's quite small for two people to stay in. And then they're in your kitchen, stuff like that. And they're lovely, but, you know, it's nice to have a little extra space. So she has taken upon herself to find them their own space on Airbnb nearby. And they love it because they borrow one of our cars or rent a car and they live over there and they can watch their TV as loud as they want and they can do what they want. But then when they come over to us, they're cheery eyed and bright because they aren't invading our space and feeling bad about it.

[Yoram]

Oh, that's what you want. Refreshed from parents to be able to.

[Andy Samberg]

Oh my God.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yorm, you're here. You scared the out.

[Yoram]

Yeah, no, sorry. I was here the whole time. That's what you want from parents or parents in law for them to be bright eyed, bushy tailed, so you can just hand them your kids and be.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Like, there you go, get gone. Well, I love staying in welcoming homes that I book on Airbnb, but it's got me thinking my home could do the same for someone else. You've been to my house, Yorm. What would you pay for my house?

[Yoram]

A thousand dollars. I'm not good with prices.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Sold. Come over here and give me a thousand dollars and I'll go somewhere else. I already put love into all the details of my home. Why not help someone feel Comfortable and taken care of while they're traveling. When I'm away from home. Think about it, Yorm. If you host your home on Airbnb while you're traveling, it's a great way to offset some of the costs of your own trip. The extra income you make could be put towards an upcoming trip of your own. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host all right.

[Seth Meyers]

Back to the show you did. Mark Wahlberg talks to Christmas Animals.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, we tried to bring it back. That's the one where it was last in the rundown and we ran out of time on the episode. But I didn't know that when we started. And as the sketch was going, Chris Kelly, floor manager Chris Kelly was counting me down like, we're gonna cut the feed.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

And I had more cards, and they just started, like, ditching cards.

[Seth Meyers]

It has an abrupt ending.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

With that said, I'm glad you weren't rushing off the top.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Cause it plays great. And, you know, ultimately, like, break a little news here. The endings of SNL sketches are often not the best part.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Another fuego.

[Jorma Taccone]

No memory of it other than when it ended being like, oh, shit, I probably won't do that again because it didn't go the right amount of. Good. That's a good sentence.

[Seth Meyers]

I actually. I think maybe because you didn't do it again, I incorrectly thought that, and I fucking loved watching it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, okay. Well, great.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Bust it out. Let's see it.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, let's bust it out.

[Jorma Taccone]

And, Keev, you were dancing in the background in the monologue of this episode, right?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. What was he. I was just doing that, though. It wasn't musical. Why? I can't remember why.

[Jorma Taccone]

It was just like, where's Waldo?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, he's just in the background, like, kind of vibing out.

[Jorma Taccone]

Hello, my lady. Hello, my darling.

[Seth Meyers]

All right. Mark Wahlberg talks to Christmas animals.

[Andy Samberg]

Mark Wahlberg talks to Christmas animals. Hey, I'm Mark Wahlberg. You guys, you guys know me, right?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

Let's go talk to some Christmas.

[Jorma Taccone]

I was thrown by the rush.

[Andy Samberg]

Hey, sheep. How's it going? I like your fur. So you with the first Christmas, right? Let me ask you something. Did you guys know it was gonna be a big thing? Okay, well, it was great to meet you. Say hi to your mother for me.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Okay.

[Andy Samberg]

Now I'm gonna talk to a partridge. Hey, partridge, how's it hanging? Where's your pear tree?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, there it is.

[Andy Samberg]

So you were in that song, the twelve Days of Christmas. I Was in the Happening. Did you see that movie? Okay, talk to you later, partridge. Now I'm gonna talk to a snowman. Hey, snowman. It's nice to see you. How'd you get in here with all these animals? You're not an animal, you're a man. I like your stick hands. I have real hands. But we can still hang out. Just let me know, okay? Say hi to your mother for me. Now I'm gonna talk to Rudolph. Hey, Rudolph. Long time no see. I've been thinking about making an Entourage movie. Do you like that idea? Hey, Rudolph, Next time you talk to Santa, tell him I want an Amazon Kindle, okay? You hear me, Rudolph? An Amazon Kindle. Say hi to your mother for me.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay?

[Andy Samberg]

This has been Mark Walls.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Jesus. It's still very enjoyable.

[Seth Meyers]

It's very enjoyable.

[Jorma Taccone]

I can tell I'm rushing.

[Seth Meyers]

The impression's great. I do feel like I forgot you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Did it again after Mark came and did it with you.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, it was totally fine. That was the last time, pretty much.

[Seth Meyers]

I think the reindeer also. There's a moment where even watching it, I'm like, is that. What is that? Is that an actual reindeer? Or did they, like, super glue some antlers on a fucking door?

[Jorma Taccone]

It's a reindeer.

[Seth Meyers]

It is a full reindeer.

[Jorma Taccone]

I mean, as soon as it's. I enter that frame. I know for a fact I've never been mauled by a reindeer. But I immediately was like, oh, God, I hope I don't get mauled.

[Seth Meyers]

It's a very small reindeer.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Those horns are big and scary.

[Jorma Taccone]

The horn. Big old horns.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

With apologies to Spodiote Dopalicious. Oh, that thing had some big horns.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Because it's got a huge horn section, Seth.

[Seth Meyers]

Fuck.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It goes like.

[Jorma Taccone]

Suck on that reindeer.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's really good stuff.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

How confident were you when you made that joke that Keev would be there to catch you?

[Jorma Taccone]

1 million percent.

[Seth Meyers]

That's fantastic. That's a very good song.

[Jorma Taccone]

I calculated this actually this morning, Seth, because me and Keith were texting. We've known each other 31 years.

[Seth Meyers]

That's unbelievable.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It depressed me rather than make me feel special.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. It didn't cheer him up. It made him feel worse.

[Akiva Schaffer]

This was a Christmas show.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, for me, it's been an honor, Keith.

[Seth Meyers]

Wait, guess what, Guess what. Bill Hader texted me today.

[Jorma Taccone]

I know what he texted you. Cause he texted me the same thing. That Today was the 20 year anniversary of our first show. Keev also.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, October 1st would have been the.

[Seth Meyers]

Steve Carell show 20 years ago. And he sent me the picture of you two. Just chilling.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Wow.

[Seth Meyers]

And it's nuts.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's huge.

[Jorma Taccone]

And we look exactly the same and feel great. They feel the exact same greatness.

[Seth Meyers]

I then sent him, because I was watching this episode, to get ready for a thing right when he sent it. And so I was like, I can't believe that guy grew up to be this guy. And then just then, I just sent him a clip of Fields in production.

[Andy Samberg]

Has a real nasty dildo.

[Seth Meyers]

Algae.

[Andy Samberg]

Ah, damn it. So close. Guys, we gotta figure out these gifts, so buckle down. Carol, hold my call. Maybe we're making this too complicated. I say we just ask ourselves what we would want for Christmas, and that's what we should get, people. So dildos in dildos it in. Jerry. Carl.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What?

[Seth Meyers]

This is Jerry and Carl, which, again, you forgot Mark Wahlberg talked to Christmas animals. I did not. I forgot that Jerry and Carl somehow have been on the show three times.

[Jorma Taccone]

I definitely didn't know that. Is this the third or the second?

[Seth Meyers]

This is the third. And it is mind boggling to me that this kept finding its way back.

[Jorma Taccone]

Into the show and that there was a line about someone having a dildo allergy.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, dude, I'm gonna play from the start. You cannot believe how quickly dildo finds its way into this sketch.

[Akiva Schaffer]

This was second to last in the rundown, just before Mark Wahlberg.

[Seth Meyers]

So, by the way, this is why Andy had to rush through Wahlberg.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Forte's hair is so funny. Just a little tiny.

[Seth Meyers]

And it also was. I think they explained in the second Jerry and Carl why his hair looked like this. And then they just kept it this way and never explained it in the sketch.

[Andy Samberg]

Try Jerry. So sorry I'm late, but it's been a grizzly bear of a day.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You know what I always say. The going gets tough.

[Andy Samberg]

The tough go fishing. Oh, Jerry, you and your inimitable sense of humor. Gentlemen, I appreciate the lively J. PA but in the next five minutes, we gotta figure out what gifts we're gonna get the office to have for Christmas. So we gotta buckle down. Carol, hold my calls. Christmas presents. Christmas presents. Christmas presents.

[Seth Meyers]

How much are dildos these days?

[Andy Samberg]

Around 25 bucks, last I checked. And that was two hours ago.

[Seth Meyers]

The Christmas show.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's the Christmas show.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, God damn it.

[Seth Meyers]

In the previous.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Remind me in the previous Jerry and Carl sketches where they were into dildos. That was the main thing. Or.

[Seth Meyers]

No, no, no, no. That's just.

[Jorma Taccone]

They just were like, the third one's about dildos for the Staff.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, it's a staff party for dildos.

[Jorma Taccone]

Two hours ago, though, is what gets you.

[Akiva Schaffer]

They could have changed.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, $25 last I checked. Which was two hours ago. Hold on, let me. There's also a crazy joke at the end where they vote the reason they can't get dildos is somebody in the office is allergic to dildos. But they vote at the end.

[Andy Samberg]

Okay, all those in favor of firing Ted Fields dildo. All those opposed. Human penis. Okay, well, now do dildos have it?

[Seth Meyers]

It's the most.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Dildo is.

[Seth Meyers]

It's the most.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And human penis is. Ned.

[Jorma Taccone]

Damn it.

[Seth Meyers]

It's the most forte writing joke.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I mean, wow.

[Jorma Taccone]

It's essentially a John Bovey.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, essentially. Yeah, essentially Bovey. It's tizzle Wizzle. By the way, we're coming off back to back criterions. I don't think we've ever had three criterions in a row, so.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And we're not gonna.

[Seth Meyers]

I don't think we ever will. We might, we might, but it'll be hard to do.

[Akiva Schaffer]

There was. There's a moment around three way and Jack Sparrow. Maybe.

[Seth Meyers]

Maybe in there.

[Jorma Taccone]

Maybe you're presuming the three way's criterion.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, it just. It's grandfather.

[Seth Meyers]

What do you think about. Do you remember. Do you remember anything about Tizzlewizzle and the jump off?

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, and I don't. Not that we should count on yhorm to know, but that's why I was hoping he was gonna jump on by the time of it, in case he does. I know he kind of likes kid stuff, so I was hoping he would remember.

[Jorma Taccone]

I will say.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Jorma Taccone]

The Jammy Shuffle, I believe is the song sounds very much like something that I came up with. I could be wrong, but I kind of feel like this one maybe started with some kernel of a thing of mine. But it could be orm. I don't know.

[Seth Meyers]

There is. There are elements of this I really like, but in my memory of it, there were like two things I had forgotten that I thought were really great and at the same time, not quite for me.

[Jorma Taccone]

I think this is undeniably influenced by Wonder Shows in a little as well probably. Right.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Just cause it's a perverse take on children's programming.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

A skewed take. A demented take on children's programming.

[Jorma Taccone]

You could almost say we see things a little differently, Keef. We don't do things exactly the way that others might.

[Seth Meyers]

Hold on one second, guys. I'll be right back.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, Keev, since Seth stepped away, what's your take on the Nic Cage update situation. Do you think Seth and Baze fucked us?

[Akiva Schaffer]

I think that that easily could have aired because you watch things transform, or what do you want to call, like, grow up? You watch characters change over multiple sketches on the air all the time, where you're like, oh, the first Wayne's World, they hadn't quite figured out everything yet. By the third one, it's like the Wayne's World we know. So you could easily have had that in a cage, and it could have gone a B, and then you still next time would have gone, get in the cage, and it would have been an A, and it would be no difference.

[Jorma Taccone]

Agreed.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That's my guess.

[Jorma Taccone]

Agreed. And I just. I just hope that my friend Rob Klein, who I rode with, is listening, so he feels equally vindicated as me right now.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But it's also, you know, it worked out fine, so it doesn't matter. Andy, you're not looking at the rundown, right?

[Jorma Taccone]

No, but I can't.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I can't. No, don't. Okay, there are two special guests that were on the episode.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay.

[Akiva Schaffer]

One was on 30 Rock.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay.

[Akiva Schaffer]

And the other was in the Hangover. What's your guess? This is the Christmas show. December 19, 2009. Tina and Zach, Mike Tyson and Jack McGuire. You're an idiot.

[Jorma Taccone]

So I basically got it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I did not expect to see special guest Mike Tyson. Seth, do you remember what Mike Tyson did on this episode?

[Seth Meyers]

What up with that?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, he was the guest sitting there that they never get to.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm just guessing. I'm just thinking, like, what would Mike Tyson. Oh, wait, I think Mike Tyson got up and dressed and danced like a.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Crazy person at the end on what up with that? Did some what up with that? Dancing.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. All right, so let's watch TizzleWizzle.

[Jorma Taccone]

Guys, my recollection of Tizzle Wizzle is that it was really, really good. So let's see how that holds up.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Mine is just that it is fun, fully realized. So then you can judge the content. As, you know, it's up there to be judged, but for the amount, we just, like, got a soundstage and figured it out on the fly and kind of made it happen. I was like, hey, it's a whole idea. That's better.

[Jorma Taccone]

I remember it ending and being like, we did our job this week.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, everybody's very good in it. And there's a moment when the lights go off I really like. It's really good filmmaking.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Here we go. Ready?

[Andy Samberg]

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Tizzle Wizzle Show. Our special guest today is James Franco. Hey, Tizzle wizzles.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's also a little bit of like yoga, abigaba, tubbies and bananas in pajamas. And what's the other one where it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Was like Yo Gabba Gabba.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Kind of too Yo Gabba Gabba, but it's also like the one where it was those Australian men.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

What was it? That one.

[Jorma Taccone]

The Fuck Nuts.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, the Fuck nuts. It's a little like that.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yep.

[Seth Meyers]

James, what are you wearing?

[Andy Samberg]

I'm wearing pajamas.

[Sadie]

Same with us. Only around here, we call them jammies.

[Andy Samberg]

Let's dance the Jammies shuffle. The Jammies shuffle. Everyone put on your jammies now. Comfy, cozy, snuggly warm. Come on, everybody. Don't have a cow. Pink ones, blue ones, even stripes. Jammy party. Dance all night. Jammies. Knives, knives, all types of knives. Everybody pick out your favorite knives. Short ones, long ones, one with spikes. Three more seconds to choose your knife.

[Seth Meyers]

Three.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Two.

[Andy Samberg]

Pills, pills, all types of pills. Everyone must take at least one pill. Gobble them, swallow them, Eat them down. Don't spit them out because we'll know.

[Seth Meyers]

Yay.

[Andy Samberg]

The pills take hold of your mind and flesh. You're brave and strong. You don't fear death. Steel yourself. It's time for war. Your glowing stick is how we keep score. Hop to the left and raise your knife. It's a fight to the death.

[Seth Meyers]

Now kill the lights.

[Andy Samberg]

Now turn on the lights. One player remains. All hill. The king of the T whistle game. We've had our fun, but goodbye for now. We'll be back next. We still have a cow. Put on your jammies.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Short and sweet.

[Seth Meyers]

Short. Perfectly executed.

[Jorma Taccone]

My favorite phrase. Don't have a cow. Callback. My favorite part.

[Seth Meyers]

The glow sticks. Just solving the problem of how we will not actually watch the violence.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, it's a children's show.

[Seth Meyers]

It's a children's show.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, that would be inappropriate, Seth.

[Akiva Schaffer]

The Wiggles. Kev came through. Yeah. It's kind of like the Wiggles.

[Jorma Taccone]

I directed it, I wrote it, and I starred in all the parts.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You did get a pretty big laugh in the beginning just for the cutaway of your face looking kind of just too guys y awkward dancing.

[Seth Meyers]

It is like Andy had a real ability to be a believable kid, even as a grown man.

[Jorma Taccone]

This was an audience that cheered on the logo. So we were in our sweet spot with this one, I think.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And again, you're right. You did your job Perfectly executed in fun times. Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

And it's 100% criterion. Seth agrees.

[Akiva Schaffer]

This guy, this. This just this look got a pretty good.

[Jorma Taccone]

But I don't know where this lands because it's not criterion. But it's not exactly Kim's videos. Or is it?

[Seth Meyers]

I think it's Kim's video.

[Jorma Taccone]

All right, Kim's video. Then. I was wrong.

[Seth Meyers]

Go fuck myself.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But that's more than you thought it was going to be, Seth. Last week you were like, I don't even know what this is. And then Kim's video is.

[Seth Meyers]

I watched it today. It's way better than I thought it would be. Do you think Nick Cage got cut because it also had a dagger?

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, yeah. That was probably what you told me.

[Seth Meyers]

You wrote two dagger sketches. Oh, yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He's like, you can't have two daggers.

[Seth Meyers]

He's like, by the way, while you.

[Jorma Taccone]

Were gone, Seth, while you were gone, Akiva fucking trashed you for cutting Nick Cage. It was crazy. I was defending you, too. I was like, hey, hey. He had a job to do. He had to get politics in. I'm sure there were, like six jokes that got, like, mild reaction, but they were necessary because the show was saying something.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Never leave the pod. You leave the pod, you get trashed.

[Seth Meyers]

Hey. Hey.

[Yoram]

Sorry for the interruption. Yorm here again, man. I've loved what everyone's talking about so far. It's been great. But I just wanted to mention quints. Cozy season has arrived with quince. And nothing sets the tone like a bedding refresh now that cozy season is here. Right, Zadie?

[Sadie]

Yeah.

[Yoram]

It's the perfect time for a bedding refresh. Quince sheets and duvets are super soft, breathable, and elevated enough to make every night feel a little bit more special. Sadie, do you like a very comfortable bed?

[Seth Meyers]

Yep. It's comfortable and cozy then.

[Yoram]

Yeah, Right? And if Sadie says that, you know, we're cooking with gas. Switching to Quint's sheets has honestly made all of our bedrooms feel upgraded. Do you think?

[Seth Meyers]

Pretty much.

[Yoram]

The duvet is a perfect mix of cozy and breathable. Zadie is not one to be hyperbolic here, guys. I just don't wake up feeling overheated anymore. Because that breathability is something else. Make your bed the coziest place in the house this fall with quince. Go to quince.com island for free shipping on your order and three 65 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com island free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com island. Take it from me, Yorm and Zady Yorm here. Once more support comes from factor. Fall always feels like a reset between school schedules, busy routines and shorter days. Finding time to cook and can be tough. Factor makes it easy to stay on track with meals that are both comforting and healthy. Isn't that right, Zadie? Yeah, if you say so, and I do say so. Honestly, having factor in the fridge, it has felt like a little cheat code for our busy weeks because we used to be really rushed making dinners and now with factor, is it snow right now?

[Seth Meyers]

I can't tell.

[Yoram]

Okay, that made zero sense, Zadie. But anyway, just take it from me, it's been much easier making meals. The food tastes way better than I could possibly have expected from any prepared meal service. Isn't that right, Zadie?

[Seth Meyers]

If you say so.

[Yoram]

Eat [e-mail] Island50OFF and use code Island50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's code Island50OFF@factors meal.com for 50% off your first box plus FREE breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Okay, back to the show.

[Jorma Taccone]

This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. It's cybersecurity awareness month and Lifelock has tips to protect your identity.

[Seth Meyers]

Use strong passwords, set up multi factor.

[Jorma Taccone]

Authentication, report phishing and update the software on your devices.

[Seth Meyers]

And for comprehensive identity protection, let Lifelock.

[Jorma Taccone]

Alert you to suspicious uses of your personal information. Lifelock also fixes identity theft, guaranteed or your money back. Stay smart, safe and protected with a 30 day free [e-mail] Podcast terms apply.

[Seth Meyers]

Living with schizophrenia isn't easy, especially when.

[Yoram]

You'Re not getting relief from some of your symptoms. It can be hard when you're still.

[Sadie]

Dealing with symptoms like hearing voices or.

[Yoram]

Seeing things that aren't there, and negative.

[Sadie]

Symptoms like feeling unmotivated or avoiding social situations. If this sounds familiar, it might be.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Time to talk to your healthcare provider.

[Yoram]

And explore a different kind of schizophrenia treatment.

[Sadie]

Discover your [e-mail].

[Seth Meyers]

There'S a clip going around and this is will feel like it's forced, but it's true. There's a clip going around of because it's Guys, it's from that new Kanye documentary that's out of Che talking to Kanye.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, I saw it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

I saw it.

[Seth Meyers]

And that I want to say a couple things. One, it's fascinating to watch Che talk to Kanye and Defend the show. And two, that is absolutely the same spot in the hallway that Baze would have told you your stuff last cut.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, I was like, why does this. Why is this giving me like ptsd?

[Seth Meyers]

That would have been where you would have heard we're not doing Cage. He went, hey, sorry, buddy. And then he was like, maybe some A listers. And then he was like, why are.

[Jorma Taccone]

You giving him like a deep, gravelly voice?

[Seth Meyers]

I don't.

[Jorma Taccone]

Hey, sorry, pal. We had to cut it. Seth wants to do like seven jokes about that.

[Seth Meyers]

Has a better bass than the one. I don't know why I play Bayes. Like, he's tall and like a. Like a growling. He's tall. I'm just.

[Akiva Schaffer]

No, he's got some heft.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, he's not Baby Herman.

[Akiva Schaffer]

He's got heft. Where was it? Where did. Where are you saying that is? 8th floor or 9th floor?

[Seth Meyers]

It's on 9. Right out that hallway. Right, like the. Between Higgins door and the back door to Lauren's office.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, that's basically exactly where the story that we told about the Joaquin Phoenix Jorma, Cameron Diaz moment that I told you. That's right in that. Where it kind of widens out for a second where you can have a.

[Seth Meyers]

Little chat there again, I guess at this point one might say yhorm's not coming.

[Jorma Taccone]

I think that's fair. And by the way, knowing him, he'll show up as we're saying. Bye.

[Akiva Schaffer]

We can also ask him next week about the Tis A Wizard show. He honestly might remember more than us. But I do think this was a three hander, as they say, that it didn't come from one of us specifically.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, he was very involved and especially in the song. A lot of yhorm signatures in there.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, that's definitely a beat he made.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yep.

[Akiva Schaffer]

It did not cost a lot of money.

[Jorma Taccone]

Nice.

[Seth Meyers]

This set didn't cost a lot of money.

[Jorma Taccone]

Nice, guys. Keevi sounded just like her.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, thank you.

[Seth Meyers]

There is something too that, like, because you built two sets you didn't use the last time, they were like, you got a white psych.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, it wasn't our fault, man.

[Akiva Schaffer]

We definitely wanted to keep it simple.

[Jorma Taccone]

Wait, were we going to talk about stuff from the other shows?

[Seth Meyers]

Well, I wanted to talk about Underground Underground Music festival, which is one of my favorite things and basically a three hander. It's Sudeikis and Nasim, who didn't do a ton of stuff together and are so good. DJ Super Soaker. And I think she's little Blaster Mike o' Brien wrote it. And it's based on the Juggalos. Right? And we want to make sure it's the first one because the first one was called the Kickspit Music Festival. I remember we spent like an hour trying to come up with what the name of this music festival was. And I think we ended up on Kickspit. And then literally the next one, it's like, let's just call it the Underground Underground Festival, which is such a better name. But Three Hander, Sudeikis, Nasim, and also Jorma as the Voice. Cause Jorma's perfect as a guy who's doing the VO for a music festival like this. Should we watch it first?

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, let's watch it.

[Andy Samberg]

Underground Records brings you its 10th annual Kickspit Underground Rock Festival. What up, y'?

[Seth Meyers]

All?

[Andy Samberg]

I'm DJ Super Soaked.

[Sadie]

And I'm Lil Blaster. And we're bringing you amazing happenings for.

[Andy Samberg]

The Super Dope 10th annual Kickspit Underground Rock Festival. You want fans, your ears will bleed. We've got rat balls, slit, third or six, DJ deuce grown, Mrs. Potato Jack and more. This most underground festival ever. No water bottles, no protection from the sun, and absolutely no Porta Johns.

[Sadie]

We didn't sell out and get you a bunch of Porta Johns.

[Andy Samberg]

Yo, you want bathrooms? Oh, we've got bathrooms. They're called your pants. Underground enough for you?

[Sadie]

Aw, yeah. And don't forget the mud eating contest.

[Andy Samberg]

Try to dethrone last year's mud eating champ. Ask Dan.

[Sadie]

Everywhere you look, mad crunk's gonna be popping off.

[Andy Samberg]

We got loose alligators up in this.

[Sadie]

Chomp on some stick meat.

[Andy Samberg]

Come have sex with the iron sheet.

[Sadie]

And did we mention bands?

[Seth Meyers]

Now I want to say this is one of the most fun kind of sketches to have at the rewrite table.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yes.

[Seth Meyers]

Because all it is is a perfect structure to just throw on dumb ideas.

[Jorma Taccone]

Come have sex with the iron cheek.

[Seth Meyers]

And it's just Mike o'. Brien. This is his brainchild and a lot of them come from him. And then he would also sit at the rewrite table and he would just stuff down. And we wouldn't know what he was keeping or what he was losing, but it was pure joy for an hour. Even just yelling out names of these bands.

[Andy Samberg]

There's gonna be donkey crossed. Good. And don't miss a very special encore performance by Mrs. Potato Dick.

[Sadie]

They my boys, always spraying the crowd with cat piss.

[Andy Samberg]

Haha.

[Seth Meyers]

Hell yeah.

[Andy Samberg]

So many fun events. And you know you gotta get in the worst he man oppression contest.

[Sadie]

Just look out for last year's. Champ. Ask Dan for sure.

[Andy Samberg]

And if that wasn't enough for you ninjas, we got a mad list of.

[Sadie]

Special guests, yo, like Mark Fuhrman from the O.J.

[Andy Samberg]

Tribe, the Mac guy, Justin Long, the.

[Sadie]

Snapple League turtle from Entourage, Ms. Screw magazine 1997.

[Andy Samberg]

And NBA All Star Dirk Muinsky shooting a BB gun at you in an open field.

[Sadie]

You wanna get sick as hell.

[Andy Samberg]

Helicopters gonna spray your ass with viruses, yo. Virus.

[Sadie]

And there's more like a full screening of Facts of Life season three.

[Andy Samberg]

Plus, we got a bunch of ventriloquists.

[Sadie]

Walking around on stilts and their dummies got tiny stilts, yo.

[Andy Samberg]

And you know, we got mom running all around this.

[Sadie]

And here's the best part.

[Andy Samberg]

Everybody gets pitchforks. Everybody's gonna be running around mad crazy with pitchforks, yo.

[Sadie]

Literally everyone is given a pitchfork.

[Andy Samberg]

Plus, don't miss a very special memorial service for Ass Dan.

[Sadie]

So get your tickets now, Ninjas, for the 10th annual Kickspit Underground Rock Festival.

[Andy Samberg]

And get ready to be truly underground. Kickspit Underground Rock Festival. See you ninjas there.

[Jorma Taccone]

Fun.

[Seth Meyers]

Super fun.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Kept getting better, kept getting crazier. That was very crazy to start. And, like, only 1x as crazy as it got, which was like 20x.

[Akiva Schaffer]

They invited us to do stuff with Ask Dan like twice before saying he had actually passed away. Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

So I asked Mike o' Brien to send me a voice note last week mid pod. I thought we were going to get to it, and I said, hey, leave me a voice note about how you chose Jorm to do the vo. And he's like, when do you need it? I was like, now. And so he sent this. Hey, I don't remember why Jos and I first asked Yoram to do those VOs, but he was so great at them. And I'll just say briefly that after he left, we had someone else filling in for that part for the table read only. And after you'd gotten used to Yorm, doing was a bit rougher, folks. It'd be like if you went to Star wars and some regular guy was doing Darth Vader's voice instead of James Earl Jones.

[Jorma Taccone]

I had a feeling.

[Seth Meyers]

Thanks for the platform, guys. I appreciate it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, fantastic platform.

[Seth Meyers]

So anyway.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But wait, did they not go Ask your Then when they did him once you're left? Because there's nothing Y likes more than getting and doing vo.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, he did it for the shows.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Oh, oh, Just not at the thing.

[Seth Meyers]

He did it for the show, but not at the table now. Anyway, we aired, obviously we're talking to you. I'm talking to you guys. After the Shai Ronnie episodes come out, Mike o' Brien listened to it, realized his voice note wasn't in, texted me. I'm so glad you didn't use it. I felt like I rushed it, and it wasn't great.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And he said, should I do a second one? I was like, sure, but I feel like we're still gonna play the first one. And he goes, I think that's right. I want the audience to know what my rushed version was. And then he sent a second one.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, good.

[Akiva Schaffer]

A reboot.

[Jorma Taccone]

I just want to say before you play this, if he doesn't thank us for the platform, I'm gonna be furious.

[Seth Meyers]

I hated that bit. I think if you're even gonna do the Vader thing, you got to go all the way through to where you're, like, acting out lines from Star wars, and then you're just, like, so far off track. Let's just start it here. You know, it's funny. Jost and I were just kind of banging our heads against the wall, trying to think of who to get to do the vo. We were like, it's got to be someone with a little gravel, you know? And then we both looked at each other all of a sudden, said at.

[Yoram]

The same time, got to get Yorma.

[Akiva Schaffer]

That was it.

[Jorma Taccone]

That was it.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So he turned on his, like, press junket liar voice.

[Seth Meyers]

He did a junket.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Like, he imagined that he had an, like, a underground festival poster behind him. And he's doing the behind the scenes.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Jorma Taccone]

Didn't thank us for the platform either.

[Seth Meyers]

No, he did. He did give more credit or he did give accurate credit to Jost, which I forgot. I knew it was a Michael Bryant joint. I forgot he did it with Jost. Sorry, Jost.

[Jorma Taccone]

I'm not sorry.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, he's got enough great stuff. He doesn't need this.

[Jorma Taccone]

Jost is going to be fine.

[Andy Samberg]

That piece of shit.

[Jorma Taccone]

Sorry, I don't.

[Seth Meyers]

People asked if you would ever do a segment on my show called Job Drinking with Andy Samberg. So it wouldn't be a day drinking. It would just be you and I chugging J.

[Jorma Taccone]

That would be fun. I mean, it would be different.

[Seth Meyers]

Interesting to see if over the course of two hours, if you had 16 espresso shots, what you'd be like, oh, no.

[Jorma Taccone]

The best part would be us having to stop every seven minutes to go to the bathroom.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Is that more dangerous than over drinking? At a certain point? I don't know.

[Seth Meyers]

I would think that's worse.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, you have to think that Jorm is not here. But I texted. I looked at the YouTube comments this morning and texted one to you, Seth, to say to Yoram, did you see my text?

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, yeah, that somebody sent it. Remember Yhorm said somebody just wrote in a postcard that said penis, and the person wanted us to know that it was pelvis.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah. I'm gonna show this so that Andy can see it. Cause once you see it spelled out, you see. Are you seeing it right now?

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You see how that could look like it? Cause the V goes up and down and the L. And if you connected the. If you were writing it with your hand, you connected an L to the V. That could be an N. Pretty easy.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah.

[Akiva Schaffer]

But it is really funny that this person says, I wrote pelvis on the postcard. Pelvis. But I could see the confusion. It seems true to me. It makes way more sense. Still weird to write a whole postcard and just write the word pelvis.

[Seth Meyers]

It's still a little weird. Yoram told the story about for the second time about how he peed in a jar while he was on a zoom with Daniel Radcliffe.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

And somebody did comment. Do you think your arm broke his pelvis because he kept dropping names on it?

[Akiva Schaffer]

It's a very handy comment. You really.

[Seth Meyers]

You're teaching these people, you're teaching them.

[Akiva Schaffer]

How to burn your arm, how to.

[Seth Meyers]

Rip, how to interact with us.

[Jorma Taccone]

Well, he has an affliction. Name dropperitis.

[Seth Meyers]

All right, guys. It was a. It was a quieter week.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Yeah, well, this hour in the night, I'm not javed at all. I'll be honest.

[Seth Meyers]

I'm not Jobs.

[Jorma Taccone]

I haven't been jabbed for hours.

[Seth Meyers]

And you know what? Not to be all Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption, but I miss my friend.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Have we come to depend on his painkillered out wild ways?

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah. Went full ladies, man. The last episode, isn't it?

[Jorma Taccone]

Maybe I just missed my friend.

[Seth Meyers]

Maybe I just missed my friend.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Some podcast seemed to draw out like a blade.

[Jorma Taccone]

Do you think Yorm wrote yhorm was here in the rafters at the hospital?

[Seth Meyers]

Or he wrote it at the top of the ladder right before he wrote.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Brooks was here and then fell off the ladder.

[Jorma Taccone]

That's so fucked up. You guys heard it here first. Seth and Keev making fun of Brooks.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, hey, guys. I made it. Wait, this is great. Cause we're at the end, and Kevin, our producer Kevin, just pointed out we teased the New York Times games, but we didn't get to it. So we did live by One.

[Akiva Schaffer]

So everyone had to stick with it. They've been on pins and needles, afraid if they hit the 32nd forward, they'll skip past it.

[Seth Meyers]

And by the way, some people said, don't say what words you missed because they are doing the Beyond Archive. We cannot. We cannot agree to that. And I'm sorry.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. Also, I didn't even know there was a be Archive.

[Seth Meyers]

I know. Oh, boy. You don't need to know that.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Well, he's hit them every day. He'd have to go way back to.

[Jorma Taccone]

Get to have the app. And there's no archive. Where are they getting it from?

[Seth Meyers]

I don't know. Maybe they mail it to them. Tell me what you. What'd you miss? Oh, you didn't miss anything. But what'd you need hints for?

[Jorma Taccone]

I needed two hints today. One, I'm glad I used the hint. It was cidification.

[Seth Meyers]

Okay.

[Jorma Taccone]

And then another, I was like, God damn it. It was fontina.

[Seth Meyers]

Gotcha.

[Jorma Taccone]

Should have got.

[Seth Meyers]

I missed finito.

[Jorma Taccone]

Oh, that's a rookie mistake.

[Seth Meyers]

Well, I mean, it's very similar to fontina.

[Jorma Taccone]

No, yours is way worse.

[Seth Meyers]

No, fontina is a word you see on a menu. Finito is a word you literally never see.

[Jorma Taccone]

I say finito every single time I leave the bathroom. Seth's laughing. You can't see him, but he's laughing really hard, actually.

[Seth Meyers]

Yeah, I was wondering how you were gonna argue.

[Akiva Schaffer]

You used it.

[Jorma Taccone]

Threw myself under the bus. Just to prove my point.

[Seth Meyers]

Do you say it to yourself.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Loudly?

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, before. Before the flush. That's interesting.

[Jorma Taccone]

Yeah. Yeah. With great flourish.

[Seth Meyers]

Gotcha. All right, well, if we just.

[Akiva Schaffer]

If we just wait a second, then we'll have a funny ending. Cause Jorm will join in.

[Seth Meyers]

Andy, as soon as you see him, just say, later, Ar.

[Jorma Taccone]

Okay, perfect.

[Seth Meyers]

So let's do. Love you guys.

[Jorma Taccone]

Love you guys.

[Akiva Schaffer]

Love you, buddies. Hey. Hey, guys.

[Yoram]

How's it going?

[Jorma Taccone]

Later, Arnold.

[Seth Meyers]

Oh, fuck.

[Andy Samberg]

Are you serious? Later, Quaid.