What Was That?

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Episode: What Was That?
Date: May 5, 2026
Hosts: Seth Meyers, Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone
Main Theme:
A deep-dive into “What Was That?”, the SNL Digital Short featuring The Lonely Island and Arcade Fire, plus an unfiltered look at SNL memories, sketch-making misfires, and the surreal joys and regrets of comedy writing.

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the SNL Digital Short “What Was That?”, remembered for its dark comedic premise (children bluntly naming history’s atrocities in a Model UN, then dancing with Arcade Fire). The group reflects on why it didn’t land, balancing both candid self-critique and affectionate ribbing. The episode also includes tangents about SNL lore, celebrity guests, the mechanics of live comedy, and classic sketch “Hollywood Dish” with Scarlett Johansson. Highlights include raw creative process debates, behind-the-scenes stories, and recurring Lonely Island in-jokes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up and Listener Banter

• Early banter focuses on sickness among the hosts and playful teasing about missing out on group chats and life events.
• They riff on fan-naming conventions for listeners by country (“Quids,” “Quantas,” “Quades,” “Quiwis”) — reflecting their inside-joke-heavy atmosphere.

Notable Quote:

“You guys are like my life monitors.” – Andy Samberg [01:09]

2. Recap of Listener Polls and Fan Interactions

• Discussion of listener polls about British and Australian fan nicknames.
• Gags about fans being willing to pay for Jorma to legally change his middle name to “McDuck.”
• Listener shoutouts for shared crossword mentions and obscure song references.

3. ALF Podcast and Existential Podcasting

• Tangent about possibly launching a spin-off podcast dedicated to ALF, jokingly equating endless podcasting with being stuck in purgatory.
• [08:40] Andy: “I just keep showing up to these, hoping that eventually one of them is going to end and I'll be allowed to leave purgatory and go to heaven.”
• Agreement that rewatching the ALF pilot as a one-off could be fun, but a full rewatch would be excessive.

4. Deep Dive into “What Was That?” Digital Short

Context & Writing:

• The short was intended as a low-stakes “throwaway” SNL digital short to fill time, not an album track or major comedy piece.
• The group discusses their shifting opinions: originally thought it might work, but consensus now is it was a misfire.

Initial Reception:

• “Watching it now as an adult with children, I mean... it’s kind of chilling me.” – Andy Samberg [21:57]
• The premise: kids at a Model UN list off history’s greatest atrocities (Holocaust, Hiroshima, Tiananmen Square, etc.) and then pivot to “hit the showers” and a dance sequence with Arcade Fire.
• Realization post-airing: the content was too bleak and failed to get laughs, but did technically “play” the joke they intended (horrific things recited by kids, countered by forced cheer).

Creative Choices and Regret:

• Wish they’d kept it as a TV feed (“protected it visually”), used actual children, and avoided heavy-handed production choices.
• Dissatisfaction with including all of Arcade Fire, worried it compromised the guests’ trust.
• Akiva: “Every show is so hit and miss on SNL… once it’s in the 90 minutes, it just cruises right by. It’s just us holding ourselves to a different standard.” [30:06]
• Andy: “Would you want this one to have not existed?” [33:25] – Consensus is that while they cringe, they appreciate the learning experience.

Musical Critique:

• Andy dislikes both his own singing and the lyric-writing, feeling the Arcade Fire guest moment was too “snl-y and overly presentational.” [31:04]

Notable Quote:

“The point getting across is: don’t be like mass murderers and pieces of shit warmongers. That it’s obvious to children.” – Andy Samberg [34:28]

5. SNL Sketches: “Hollywood Dish” & “Vocabulary Words”

Hollywood Dish

• [41:01] Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig as over-the-top junket interviewers with Scarlett Johansson—Bill’s spit take becomes a meme.
• Hosts discuss the endurance of physical comedy and recurring sketch tropes.

Vocabulary Words

• [45:02] Classic “update” feature where Andy (in Justin Timberlake voice) mugs as a kid who just learned vocabulary words but can’t define them.
• The group agrees it was a fair cut, noting self-aware recycling of old sketch premises (“Grifbanx”), SNL’s internal ecosystem.

6. Reflections on the Creative Process

• The hosts debate the subjective reality of what’s funny “in the room” vs. what reaches the audience.
• Examples of divisive Lonely Island material (“Ibiza” from Pop Star, “Legalize It” end credits) illustrate the sometimes random nature of what works.
• “You don’t know until you do it. Sometimes it becomes a favorite; sometimes it doesn’t.” – Andy Samberg [23:56]

7. Fan Culture, Self-Deprecation, and Life at SNL

• Shoutouts to listener-made posters (Josh Abraham).
• In-jokes about who’s the “sweetest” Lonely Island member (Yorma is declared the fan favorite).
• Riffs on Will Forte’s extreme kindness, and how it sets an impossible bar for niceness in show business.

Notable Quote:

“If you meet somebody, like, in Kansas City, and they’re like, ‘Oh, I know Will Forte.’ You’re like, oh, no, I gotta be so nice to you, just to be half as nice as Forte was.” – Seth Meyers [51:02]

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Memorable Quotes

• “I wish we had kept it all as TV feed cameras… it would have felt more protected if we hadn’t been like, now check out the slick version.” – Andy [22:39]
• “On set we were like, maybe this is gonna be great…” – Seth Meyers on Arcade Fire’s cameo [29:44]
• “No, I had to be in the show.” – Andy, mocking his own on-camera ego [34:41]
• “I don’t like to ever regret something that much that you’d be like, erase it from ever happening, because we learned from it.” – Andy [35:14]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:22 – 05:00: Catch-up banter, fan denominations, and in-group jokes.
• 08:42 – 10:57: The ALF Podcast as existential purgatory.
• 18:37 – 36:01: Main “What Was That?” discussion—writing, intent, regrets.
• 41:01 – 46:47: Watching “Hollywood Dish” and “Vocabulary Words,” SNL sketch commentary.
• 49:07 – 51:03: Reflections on fan interactions and the hierarchy of “niceness” in comedy.

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Flow and Tone

The tone is freewheeling, self-effacing, and irreverent—true to The Lonely Island spirit—a blend of sincere craft discussion, nostalgia, and absurdist inside jokes. The conversation is laced with mock exasperation, warmth, and honesty about successes and failures, making it valuable for listeners interested in comedy writing or just fans of SNL/lonely Island history.

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Takeaways

• Even comedy greats like The Lonely Island have significant misses—and aren’t afraid to air, dissect, and laugh about them.
• Creating comedy is an unpredictable, collaborative, and sometimes chaotic process, with the biggest lessons embedded in failure.
• SNL’s “hit or miss” nature provides both freedom and existential second-guessing; even “bad” sketches become part of comedy lore.
• The overlap between personal relationships (with guests, the audience, one another) and artistic output is central to their ongoing work—and enjoyment of the process.

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For Curious Listeners

If you haven’t seen “What Was That?” (SNL Digital Short, 2010, Scarlett Johansson episode), it’s worth a watch for context. The episode is especially rich for sketch comedy nerds, SNL fans, and anyone interested in how beloved comedy writers think about the stuff they’d rather forget.

Transcript

[A]

This summer, serve up the cookout classics craft mayo and dressing.

[B]

Toss green salads with delicious ranch dressing or zesty Italian. Serve smooth, craveably creamy potato salads with mayo.

[C]

We all know it's not a cookout without craft, so I've been gone, but can I just start with a question?

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[C]

When do we think Yoram's gonna not be sick anymore?

[D]

Oh, dude, it's lasted. I mean, this is much better. I sound slightly better.

[A]

Well, it's funny. Bring that up. I am sick now. And when we, the three of us, Seth. We had a zoom with a reporter who was doing an article about the 10 year pop star thing two days ago. And right when I got on, I think Andy, but maybe it was you. Jorm said they heard my voice and went, oh, Keev, you sick? And I was like, real confident, like, no. And then I was sick like 12 hours later. So you guys know me better than I know myself.

[D]

Yeah, that's what this pod is for. It's for us getting really deep with each other.

[B]

It's like wearing one of those, like, health rings that, like, tell you when you're, like, going into the zone. Like, if you do a podcast with bros that have known you since high school, they're like, hey, man.

[D]

Hey, man.

[B]

Maybe slow down.

[A]

Yeah, you guys are like my life monitors.

[B]

Yeah, you've missed a lot, Andy. You've missed a lot.

[D]

Right?

[B]

And I'm very excited to kind of update you on things at the top of the pod. First of all, I am very happy to report Scott from Seattle sent me what is my second bottle of Martinelli's sparkling apple juice.

[A]

So did you get it?

[B]

This one had a note. And. And the note just said, yeah, I got it. Hey, Andy, I just noticed that you wrote me at 11 o' clock last night. Awake, question mark.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What were you reaching out for? I was not.

[C]

I was in New York.

[B]

And so you thought me, a father of three, would what, like, just bust, like, bust out and hang out with Ellie?

[A]

You guys went and got a drink in New York?

[B]

No, man, we just wanted to rap, so. All right, so you wanted to rap. But, like, if I had said, like, yeah, dude, what are we gonna do? Like, what would you have said?

[C]

Oh, I'd be like, oh, I'm sleepy.

[D]

Oh, I gotta go to sleep.

[C]

Sorry.

[D]

Just wanted to see if you.

[A]

First off, Andy's on West coast time,

[B]

so maybe west coast time he's a little more awake and he's again, he's like, not with his family.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So he's like, I could, like, chat.

[C]

Correct. I couldn't zonk out till like, 3am it was tough.

[A]

It's like when you were here, Seth, at 5pm and wanted me to get a drink, and I was like, of course not.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. I get it. I get it. Andy, I'm gonna guess, you know this story that Yoram brought up in the last podcast. What did Yoram. It's a little lonely. A little Yorm trivia for you. What did Yoram want to change his middle name to but then didn't because it was $400?

[A]

Oh, in high school.

[B]

High school.

[C]

It wasn't Jermac. No, that's different.

[D]

No, you should know this because for our wedding, we were considering actually changing our middle names. Another clue as well.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I know the story. And I'm ashamed to admit you're going

[B]

to be super mad when you.

[A]

I would have got this one right without the pod. I'm saying just. Just, you know, you.

[B]

Fuck.

[D]

Yeah. Keefe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

McDuck.

[C]

Oh, right. McDuck. God damn it.

[B]

Two comments about Yoram trying to change his name to McDuck. A couple of people actually offered to send the 400 bucks. Now, like, they're saying if, like, if that's still like, your barrier to entry, people want to take care of that for you.

[D]

Gotcha.

[B]

Then someone just wrote a solitary comment in the YouTube comment section. They just wrote, Jorma McDuck de Kony. And then the next person commented, my phone is offering to translate. Translate to English this comment. And then only on this podcast can you get that. We talked about Andy. It was agreed we had a voter poll as to whether or not this was the acceptable term as far as British listeners called quids. And when you want to ask a quid a question, you say puntas in

[A]

the U.S. oh, my goodness.

[B]

By 84% was. They're totally fine with it.

[D]

Great.

[C]

So hit us in the tittison for all you quids. Puntus. In the.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

We had some other names. We talked about how Aussies would be quants. This is just. They're fine with it. This is. Again, this is anecdotal. This was not a poll.

[C]

Although it was because of Qantas.

[B]

Well, no, I think just like. I don't know. But also, somebody did say. Somebody based on that, Andy did say we should be called Quantus. Other people said quasis. But I think quant is the most fun. Canadians would like to be called quades. Like, how's it Going a. But like Quades Quaid. Yeah. Or Quinox. Or Quinox.

[C]

Quinux. Quaides.

[B]

All right, so, Andy, you're gonna nail this one. What do we call our New Zealand listeners?

[C]

Quiwis.

[B]

Yeah, 100%. You got it. Are you a crossword guy, Andy? Cause the crossword people are sending messages to us this week.

[C]

Well, you were in it, weren't you?

[B]

Or was it. I was in it. And also, digital shorts was an answer on Sunday.

[C]

Why they got. Why are they trying to Winter Soldier, bro?

[B]

I know they're just trying to Winter Soldier all the time.

[C]

We're not onto them. And then they're like, what? What are you talking about? We don't Winter Soldier people that host a podcast.

[B]

We're just word.

[A]

We just do words. Which is exactly what someone that does Winter Soldier people who do a podcast would say.

[D]

Akiva.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Hey, I think I was there this day. And I do remember multiple takes of this moment in Hot rod where Danny McBride shoves yorm into the van. And they said, like, it really looked like he really shoved you.

[C]

Yeah, he did.

[D]

Well, when we were shooting that, I was like, harder, harder, man. You gotta do it.

[C]

That's what I was gonna say. I remember it, too. I vividly remember Yoram going, hey, don't hold back. Shove me, like, really hard so I fly.

[A]

But then you were injured. I remember as well. Like, you complained about it after trying

[D]

to stay snap my neck back. It's always funnier when it looks like it hurts. And then it did.

[B]

That was the lesson we learned on Hot Rod is like, it's funnier if it looks like it hurts. And the easiest way to do that is to actually have it hurt 100%.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you see that Will Forte was on the Boys, the Amazon prime show? The Boys.

[D]

No, didn't. Was he good?

[B]

So he was playing himself. And I'm a little bit behind in season five, but it does seem like what has happened. It was Seth Rogen, poker game. Kumail's there, Forte's there, Christopher Mintz Plasse is there. And there's a couple of the evil heroes. Homelander, Soldier Boy sort of interrupt the game, and Forte basically is talking about a lot of people in Hollywood have been sort of executed for their, you know, opinions about these sort of fascist superheroes. Forte says he's so psyched. He's been so psyched ever since Hayter died because he's getting a lot of offers now on parts. But then there's a moment, and this is what people Wanted you to know yhorm, which is there's a moment where Forte says, can we just get out of here? To these two. Cause now, like, gnarly stuff is happening. And soldier boy turns and goes, cool it, MacGruber. And so they were like, oh, so in this world, these bad guys are like, no. When they see Forte, they, like, they call him MacGruber.

[C]

Yeah, that's his go to.

[D]

Yeah. Great. We're part of the lexicon, which makes

[B]

me believe that, like, the actor Jensen Ackles is probably, like, a MacGruber fan and was like, hey, can I do this?

[A]

SNL just fully exists in this universe. Like our version of snl.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Can I say what I was gonna guess it was gonna be?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That it was gonna be Forte and Homelander, like, drinking some milk. That's a big thing with Homelander. And it just seemed very forteish to me.

[B]

Forte and him just enjoying milk together.

[D]

Chicken milk.

[B]

I also like milk.

[C]

Like, from a bosom.

[B]

Oh, yeah, they do a lot of bosom stuff.

[A]

Hey, congratulations, Andy, on wrapping your film.

[B]

Thank you.

[D]

Yeah, big time, dude.

[C]

Thank you so very, very much.

[B]

And for anybody who's like, oh, my God, he wrapped his film. That means a lot more Andy on the pod immediately into another film.

[C]

That's right. Yeah, it's bad. Yeah, it's bad.

[A]

It's a blessing.

[B]

We're working very hard. We're very happy for you. For people who like to see you in movies, it's great.

[A]

What a privilege.

[B]

What a privilege. Yeah.

[C]

What a privilege. I would never complain about it. Keith. Thanks for getting out in front of it.

[D]

Do you feel refreshed now, though, Andy, now that you have, like, three days

[C]

before you start shooting again? Yeah, man, I'm totally refreshed.

[D]

Good.

[C]

And I don't look worse.

[B]

No, you don't. You don't. Two quick final things, and then we'll roll into an episode which I maybe remember less about than any episode that we've talked about since we started this pod. Somebody said if we do do a rewatch, we floated the idea of, like, should we do a podcast where we just rewatch the ALF pilot? We should give the Quaids a heads up so that they can watch the ALF pilot. In prep for us doing an episode about the ALF pilot. I think that's a good idea.

[D]

I wanted us to do the whole series.

[C]

I think a single episode about the ALF pilot is a good idea.

[B]

I think so, too.

[C]

I just have heard about people being like, they should do a full ALF rewatch pod.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no.

[D]

You don't want. I'm telling you guys, it's good.

[A]

I think we'd start with the pilot. If it goes great, then Yorm can tell us another specific episode at some point to watch, and we can tell everybody watch this episode.

[D]

Okay. All right. Sounds good.

[B]

Well, also, like, it's. I think, you know, obviously this is something that I think Andy's angling at, which is like how Dax does Armchair Expert and then like, four other podcasts like Andy w. To have, like, the Alpha one be its own thing.

[A]

Oh, yeah, More. More powerful.

[C]

I just. I just keep showing up to these, hoping that eventually one of them is going to end and I'll be allowed to leave purgatory and go to heaven.

[A]

It's not. Not how it works.

[B]

So do you think in this. In this thinking was the first podcast, like the day you died?

[C]

Definitely, yeah.

[A]

So this is all of just the limbo?

[C]

That's correct. Yeah. It's.

[A]

Should we call it the ALF limbo podcast?

[C]

Well, it's not alf. It's just any episode.

[A]

He's like, of course we're watching alf. So that hopefully we to heaven at the end.

[C]

It's the middle space, Akiva. And you know what? I couldn't ask for a better group.

[D]

I feel like ALF would be like finding the hatch in Lost. You know what I mean? Like, it's like a little reprieve.

[C]

Spoiler.

[B]

Oh, and the last thing a comment I enjoyed was not enough. This was a comment about the last episode. Not enough theater rake talk. Andy, you probably didn't listen to the over your dead body pod, but Yoram and Keev did like 10 full minutes on theater rake seating.

[D]

It was like five minutes.

[A]

I've been told by multiple people they like that this pod is a about, you know, the craft.

[B]

The craft, exactly.

[A]

That includes pre production writing.

[B]

Yeah, those are all good things.

[A]

Post shooting.

[D]

Yeah, but which fucking nerd said that to you?

[A]

Keev, one of the Daniels.

[C]

What is a theater ache like?

[B]

Well, you guys, here's a good. He left the door wide open for you guys to do your tight tent.

[D]

Oh, great. Andy, I'm so glad you brought this up.

[A]

Oh, no, it's the slope of the

[D]

theater, and that can really affect an audience's enjoyment of hearing other people laughing in the theater. If it's too high of a rake, you get a little bit less of that.

[B]

Keef still likes the old school. You got to move your head a little bit. Like somebody's sitting in front of you blocking a little bit of the screen. That's a fair enough price to pay for, like, the collective enjoyment.

[C]

Understood.

[A]

If it's going to be a big, full theater. Yeah.

[C]

Now, so on that note, Seth, when you're choosing where to film a Stand up special, do you. Do you keep theater ache in mind?

[B]

I've never knew it was a thing, and I didn't put any thought into it at all.

[C]

Okay, so no, That's a no.

[A]

I think with Stand up also, it's very quiet because it's just your voice, and so you're probably not competing with the soundtrack of a film where it's blaring at you.

[D]

Oh, I thought you meant that Seth was so bad at Stand Up. That was very quiet.

[A]

No, I just meant there's a lot of negative space for the laughs to be heard. I think you would hear all the laughs will be heard.

[C]

All your jokes, each shit you don't have to worry about.

[B]

He's like, you should try to find a theater where people are facing the back of the house.

[A]

I've seen your show, Seth and the Rake Ain't the problem with Seth's show.

[D]

You hear a lot of wind.

[C]

Sometimes a tumbleweed can get pretty loud.

[D]

Yeah, I love a coyote.

[B]

It's. There ain't no rake that's going to crack that problem. Hey, by the way, the podcast hasn't started just for anyone who's listening right now, because it starts when you hear a theme song. And. And Greg Chun has sent in a new one that he wanted. He requested that we listen to live.

[C]

Oh, great.

[B]

So we'll do that.

[A]

Killing it. Lately I've been texting him because I haven't been hearing him before I hear the show, and there's been so many good nuance.

[B]

So let's take a listen and then we'll start the podcast.

[D]

Great.

[B]

Just three guys from the streets of

[D]

California,

[C]

then Kim, Seth, and their hole was greater than the sum of their pars. So now they talk about whatever they want. Like and smoking crack in a house and gulping big as payment for watching a cartoon. Just three guys. And Seth Meyers, too.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

I think we should just end the pod after that.

[B]

Really good. Really.

[A]

For those who haven't visited ALF recently, that was to the tune of the ALPH theme song.

[D]

Just great.

[B]

Just great.

[D]

Thanks, Greg.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

What a lovely human being.

[A]

Yeah. You killed it.

[C]

Thank you, Greg. That made me feel actually better about what we've been doing with the pod.

[A]

Oh, we talked about Fatal Farm at some point on this pod, but. But do you guys remember the fatal farm version from like 15 years ago of the Alph. It was like, it was an alpha opening credits, inner cutting shots into it. Because they're in the credits. They're like watching a tv, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And then. But on the TV was all like hidden camera footage of the bathroom. So it was like, everybody's cheerfully watching this tv but they're watching horrible, like security cams of people on the toilets.

[D]

Curvy.

[A]

I'm sure it's still online, guys. Just look it up. I remember finding it quite funny.

[C]

It's inappropriate, but what I liked about it was sort of the commentary on the. The commerce element of sitcoms. Yeah.

[D]

I didn't like how inappropriate it was though.

[C]

Yeah, but we don't stand by by like hidden camera footage of people going to the bathroom. That's. That's not okay. I would never do a search for that like on a porn site.

[D]

No, not like multiple times.

[A]

No, that's not how we found the video. No, we were like, we were typing in funny elf videos.

[D]

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[B]

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[B]

Hey, do you guys remember this short?

[C]

Yeah, unfortunately.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

Andy watched it.

[C]

I rewatched it.

[A]

He texted me last night.

[B]

I did rewatch it had you remembered it before you watched it.

[C]

I did, but I hadn't watched it since it aired, and I remembered it going bad and being like, huh, I was wrong. But then watching it again now, I was like, man, was I just in a whole other mind space.

[B]

How so?

[A]

Because you disliked it.

[C]

Just. I thought it was, like, good. Yeah.

[B]

Wait, you thought it was. You thought it was good on the rewatch.

[C]

No, Know.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

When I. When we wrote it. When we wrote it. Now you guys have to take credit.

[D]

Well, no, I don't, because I had quit this season. That's what we figured out.

[A]

No, no, you're misremembering right away.

[C]

It was written during one of our album sessions.

[A]

Seth, you know how you keep being like you're sitting on all this gold, all these songs? Why don't you do one on the show? You've done Shyrani, a new one. Why didn't you ever do any of these? Well, here's your. Here's the big first one.

[B]

So this is an album track.

[C]

We wrote it. We all together, all three loved it. Just kidding.

[D]

Wait, what is this short? I just don't know what this fucking short is.

[C]

It was. What was that? Right.

[A]

Because this is your. To remind you you're not at the show.

[D]

No, this was. I was not at fault for the video.

[A]

Yeah. So we recorded it. To be fair to the statement I just made, we knew on some level it was not I just had sex or Jack Sparrow or something.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

And that is why we felt comfortable doing it, because we thought it was a little. Or at least I thought it was a throwaway one. So I was like, oh, yeah, that'll fill the time.

[C]

I thought it was a throwaway one,

[A]

but I thought it was gonna go on that.

[C]

But I thought.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Yes. I also really thought it would be on the album. And then once it aired, we were like, oof, that is not going on the album. I'm so glad we did that, because now our album's gonna be better.

[A]

It's really true. It was a real lesson.

[C]

Yeah. I think. I mean, we'll watch it. The. The disconnect for me was thinking that anyone would be able to laugh about the things that are mentioned in the song. The joke being like to anyone, like a child, the horrific things that people have done throughout human history. You're just like, what the. What the fuck?

[A]

Yeah, they feel so abs. They also just feel so abstract, but also so unfathomable that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, a lot of them are unfathomable to Any age. But as you get older, maybe you see more, I guess, evil in the world. And when you're a kid, you're just like, how could someone do any of that?

[B]

Yeah, my kids are that age where you tell them about. They're like, why would they do that? Like, very much.

[C]

That's the whole premise of the sketch.

[B]

Have I ever told you. Has anybody ever read. I don't know if this happened to you. The Fireboat is this book that, like, one of the kids checked out from the library. And, like, the COVID of it's like a fireboat, like, with hoses. And you're like, oh, this looks fun. And I'm reading the book to my kids, and it's about this old fireboat that they stopped using. It got decommissioned, and then these guys bought it and they refurbished it. And then literally halfway through the book, it's 9, 11.

[D]

Oh, jeez.

[B]

And, like, children's drawing, like, you know, children's books illustration. And it's about how this decommissioned fireboat, like, got called into service. And it's like this. But, like, I'm sobbing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And my kids are like, wait, what happened?

[C]

They're like, what?

[B]

What is. What are you talking about?

[C]

What?

[B]

And I'm like, just let me get to the end of the book.

[D]

About the fireboat. Yeah.

[C]

I mean.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Watching it now as an adult with children, I mean, we weren't, like, young when we wrote it, but compared to now, for me, I was like, it's kind of chilling me. And we wrote it, and I think just the. I think ultimately the joke of, like, saying the most horrific things that have ever happened and then being like, hit the showers. Like, the dissonance of that does make me laugh.

[A]

But I think, yeah, the joke is about this character. It's not about the stuff, but of course.

[B]

But so how quickly into watching it on the night, were you like, oh, like, of course.

[C]

Pretty quick.

[B]

And did you know it dressed? Did you have a moment of, like, oh, this shouldn't air?

[A]

I don't think it was that strong.

[C]

That's a good question.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There's also an interesting choice made in it where, like, I wish we had kept it all as TV feed cameras, but we switched to, like, glossier Steadicam. And watching it now, I was like, oh, it would have felt more protected if we hadn't been like, now check out the slick version. So it felt more like an actual thing that was happening with these kids and then this one really old guy pretending to be a kid.

[D]

Why did you make that Bad decision, Keith.

[A]

I haven't seen this since the day it aired, so I don't even remember. I forgot that it was at a un kind of thing till you just said that. TV camera.

[C]

Let me say this, though, Keith, that is not why it didn't work.

[A]

Well, Andy and me and Andy were texting last night. Andy was more bullish about this than me. And I was gonna. I'm gonna put you in the category yorm because. Only because you probably. Even though you weren't there when we shot it, you were there when we recorded it.

[D]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

But I. I didn't dislike it, but it was definitely a shrug for me a little bit where I was like, I get it and it's fine, let's do it. But I don't want to put words in your mouth, Andy. But you were just more into it for whatever reason.

[D]

I think that that happens occasionally with me and Andy in particular on recording, where I really sort of like us around. And occasionally it's maybe a little thinner. I don't know. Andy, did you agree with that?

[C]

Sometimes yes and sometimes no. You know, like, you got to see them through to find out. Like, there are certain ones that we were like, I don't know if that's even anything. But then because you started and you do it, you realize it's one of your favorites by the end. And then sometimes it isn't.

[A]

I have lots of examples that we've talked about where one of you. Where either both or one of you or starting something that I'm like, maybe like, I'll use an example of Ibiza from pop star. Andy kept being like, let's do that song about Ibiza. And I'd be like, I. That's such an old observation. I don't know what there is to it. And then the moment I was like, fine, I'll record you. And I just got on the computer, like, here we go. And I was like. I was like, I don't want to stand your way. So I'm like, recording it. And then as soon as. With the music and with his voice, I don't know.

[D]

But by the time you get to our tummies are full of Paijesia. I think that, like, you're winning pretty hard.

[C]

Here's the recipe for the paija broth.

[A]

That's what I mean. Like. Like. Because there's no pitch there, like, oh, it's just a song about Ibiza. And I use the lisp. You're like, that's not a thing. But then you realize so much pop is based on less that it actually is. It's wonderful. Anyways, do you like.

[B]

Before we do the rewatch, do you like it musically, Andy, like, comedy aside?

[C]

No. Cause it's also. My voice is really grating. It just has a lot of things going against it. I really liked that beat and I really like the synth line that comes in at the end when Arcade Fire starts singing.

[A]

Do we remember who made it? Does it sound like a. I think

[C]

it's a Drew Campbell maybe, but I could be wrong.

[A]

Sounds like that's what it is, but I don't.

[C]

We'd have to look it up, but yeah. I don't like the lyrics we wrote for Arcade Fire. They seem a little too pleased with themselves. Not them, the lyrics. I mean, see what you guys think. But for me, I was just rewatched it and was like, oh man, I just would have done so many things differently or not done it.

[B]

All right, well, Keev, you want to

[A]

lead the way loading it up.

[C]

Okay. Maybe fucking today.

[B]

So fast.

[D]

Thank you, Andy. That was great.

[B]

Next on the day's agenda, a very, very special treat. The winners of our Model UN competition

[D]

are going to address the General assembly

[B]

and present their thoughts on world history. So please welcome.

[D]

I like that side angle.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

Based on our hours log deliberating at the Model un here are our key thoughts on world history thus far. 2, 3, 4.

[B]

The Holocaust.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

What was that?

[B]

Hiroshima.

[A]

So it goes into the study right away?

[C]

Well, yeah, that was just an intro,

[A]

but it would have been fun if it was. If we had just committed and shot it this way.

[C]

Yeah. Come on, guys.

[A]

It just seemed like a TV broadcast.

[C]

Nanking massacre.

[B]

That holy sucks.

[C]

And Rwanda. Real mature, guys. Tiananmen Square.

[B]

Give me a break.

[C]

The Inquisition. What was that? The Khmer Rouge.

[D]

Like these kids.

[C]

Kids rule Armenian. Genocide. Unacceptable. Ethnic cleansing.

[D]

Talk to the hand, talk to the hand.

[C]

What was that? Get it together guys, you're blowing it. The Middle east. Quit goofing around. And all these oil spills. Hit the showers, Dark four.

[D]

What are you guys doing but dancing?

[C]

That'll set your whole mind and body free. You gotta shake it off and dance. Arcade Fire.

[B]

Dance your troubles away.

[D]

Are you here?

[C]

And we will fight off the hatred and evil. Cause a few million bad can ruin our day.

[D]

Come on you guys.

[B]

Dance with the corner of girl.

[C]

We're all just praying.

[B]

What was is.

[D]

Yeah, I do think that that other camera like keeping it more. More tv.

[C]

Ke first off, most importantly, thank you for stopping it before the music started.

[A]

Well, I was Impressed that they left in the clap.

[B]

They left it a little.

[A]

It's cuz there was visual. They don't cut off visuals, but we had let it linger at the end.

[D]

Yeah, that's steady, though.

[A]

Not as bad as I thought it was going to be based on Andy's preamble.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

At all.

[C]

I'll take that.

[B]

You were singing. Irritating. Your opening salvo. As a dude, a kid in Model un, you were great, Andy.

[C]

I was with it. I was like, hey, maybe it's going to be good.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Hit the showers.

[C]

Hit the showers.

[B]

This is a question. Do you ever, when you see that many extras in a thing that you don't feel like played, do you ever feel like, oh, God, we brought so many people in?

[D]

No.

[C]

Yeah, no, I feel it. About bringing in all of Arcade Fire.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's fair.

[D]

Yeah, they were a good vibe. They were, you know, running around, getting on top of desks.

[B]

How do you. I don't want to put you, but like, did you guys ever have those moments where you're like, oh, my God, Arcade Fire. They're so great. I can't believe they said yes. Like, while it's playing and you're like, this isn't quite landing. Do you have any, like, how do you feel? I mean, you mentioned it, Andy, but are you really, like, oh, it's gonna be awkward to see them.

[C]

It definitely, like, once you see it. Air in front of an audience, you mean? Yeah, because on set we were like, maybe this is gonna be great.

[B]

Of course. Yeah. And I'm sure they felt the same way. They're like, great. And also, like. Because they're putting their trust in you, of course.

[C]

Exactly. And they, you know, they had been in the office meeting one for a shot.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

So we.

[D]

And then we. And we. And we did like a Yorm dances with them. We were pals with them in a way that I don't think it felt as shitty to like, you know, I didn't know them as well.

[A]

Also, the whole, you know, it's. Every show is so hit and miss of an snlf, obviously, that this doesn't, like, stand out. Once it's in the 90 minutes, to me, it just cruises right by. So I. It's just us holding ourselves to a different standard.

[C]

I think maybe for me, in rewatching it, Keev is just like, the beat drops and I just scream the Holocaust and no one laughs. I'm just like, oh, this is bad.

[A]

Yeah, but I mean, the jokes, it's getting, you know, not the Hugest laughs. But it's getting laughs on what it's supposed to, which is, you know, you're immature. Like, talk to the hand about the worst things. The general dynamic of the joke of saying the worst thing and then saying something very. That you should just be saying about something very flippant. Yes. Is playing on some level.

[C]

Yeah, on some level. You can hear like 10% of the audience enjoying it.

[B]

Yes. I think the other thing is, like, once you. You either like the premise or you don't like the premise, but there's not a lot more. It doesn't like spike through the ceiling.

[C]

No.

[B]

As far as heightening goes, so.

[C]

Agreed. Also, I personally dislike that I. Or we made the choice to scream Arcade Fire because everyone knew it was them. It just felt very snle and overly presentational.

[D]

Agree.

[C]

I'm just down on.

[A]

Is that out of fear that they weren't famous enough, but they were the musical guests?

[C]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[B]

Second time.

[D]

Keep, keep. Do you remember where you guys actually shot that? Because, like, that room is pretty big. It's a good looking little room there.

[C]

I mean, it was.

[A]

It was definitely. I think we were at snl. I don't know.

[C]

You killed. When you're talking about how good the room looked.

[A]

Well.

[D]

By the way.

[A]

But we did p. Pull off the overall thing.

[B]

That's the actual UN symbol.

[D]

That's why.

[B]

That's the actual symbol.

[C]

You know what?

[D]

It is Good.

[A]

I'm trying to find a wide of the back of the room is what you're talking about. Because mostly it's these real cutaways of people at the un.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But. Yeah, like, what's that door there? Does that remind you of something of one of the stages? Seth, you're there every day. What's this door?

[B]

That is not my. That's somewhere on six, I would say. I bet that's cross.

[D]

This is. This is just a testament to how much we shot in that building. That I'm like, oh, I don't know that room.

[B]

The three kid extras are great. The ones playing music are great.

[A]

Oh, there we go. This is the whole room.

[B]

So I don't know where that is. Sorry. Dogs don't know that plays a part.

[D]

That fucking building.

[C]

I mean, you know, it's maybe just super poignant. It's just not meant for laughter, you know, it's like children telling adults, stop fucking it up.

[B]

Oh, poignancy.

[D]

It's a lot like the fifth Element, you know, just when she's like ingesting all of humanity's trauma. You know, but that's. It's a lot like that.

[C]

And she's like, why y' all suck.

[D]

Yeah, that's right. I think that she says that right after. She's like, single tier. Single tier. Hey, why y' all suck, Bruce Willis.

[A]

I'll be curious if there's some defenders in the quades. The way that, like, Daiquiri Girl gets weirdly defended by being so, so bad. But not.

[B]

You know what? I'm very. I'm really leaning into putting polls in. So we're gonna put in Daiquiri Girl v this.

[D]

Daiquiri. Daiquiri Girl with a bullet.

[C]

Daiquiri Girl is not ATT much and therefore is pulling it off.

[A]

I think you moved your mic too far away for you. Andy The. But we heard you. The.

[C]

Is this better? Yeah, I was just trying to open a bottle of water so my hands would be free for one second, but that's not. That's not going to be good enough for Akiva.

[A]

Andy, would you want. Well, don't talk when you do it, then. Andy the. Would you want this one to have not existed?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Now, you don't ask him questions right after he pushes his mic 10ft away because he has to open.

[D]

Second.

[C]

Yeah, one second. I have to take a sip of my water now because I had to take a break to open it.

[D]

I got to agree with Andy, though. If. I think if you guys had shot it without the steady and kept it all within the context of UN footage, I would have been way more into it.

[A]

Yeah, but it's. No, but it wouldn't have been any funnier. What I would like about that is it would be protecting it, as Andy said. It would just feel like we hadn't tried as hard.

[D]

Yes, exactly.

[C]

One, but two, if it had been actual kids doing the song instead of me and not doing it in that annoying voice, I think maybe it could have been just a cool, interesting little piece, which is just kids yelling at adults. What was that? Talk to them being like, you fucked

[A]

up the whole world. What the fuck is wrong with you?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then it might not have been huge. Laughs. But it at least would have been like.

[A]

It would have gotten our point across in a clear way that didn't try to be thirsty as well.

[B]

But you.

[A]

You just.

[C]

By the way, the point. The point getting across is don't be like mass murderers and pieces of shit. Warmongers.

[A]

Yeah. That it's obvious to children.

[C]

Yeah. And also most adults.

[D]

You couldn't get rid of your ego to, like, not Be on camera, right?

[C]

No, I had to be in the show.

[A]

Me and Yohn kept saying, let it be a kid. And then he was like, you were Kevin and Hot Rod. Do you think you were the right age for that? And then we were like, fine.

[C]

Fuck.

[D]

I wasn't there. I wasn't there.

[C]

It was exactly like that.

[B]

Andy, did you see the picture of me sitting like Lauren underneath the poster of Lauren?

[C]

I did because that was on our text chain.

[A]

That was so funny, guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it made me very happy.

[B]

It was so fun.

[D]

Thank you. Lauren loved it too.

[C]

Keev, to answer your question, do I wish it didn't exist at all?

[A]

Yeah. That we hadn't done it.

[C]

That's tough.

[D]

No, man.

[C]

I don't like to ever.

[A]

You don't want to change the past, right?

[C]

Yeah. I don't like to ever regret something that much that you'd be like, erase it from ever happening because we learned from it, you know?

[D]

Oh, so you're glad that Dar4 happened then?

[C]

That was the quote.

[B]

That was the quote.

[C]

But yeah, I mean, I might delete it from all of human history.

[A]

It's fine. I think it's. It's professional. It's just not what we like.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Support comes from article. Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long lasting home at an unbeatable price. And I'm looking at my article dresser right now and it's all those things you see because Article offers a curated range of mid century, modern, coastal and scandi, meaning Scandinavian inspired pieces that not only shine on their own, but also pair seamlessly with nearly any other article product. It's true. I definitely want more of them to pair with my one article product. This thoughtful design approach makes it incredibly easy to mix and match. Helps you create a space that feels cohesive and stylish. Anyway, I love this thing. It's super well built as me and Keith have talked about. It's always a sticking point for me when the drawers are a sticking point. And this has like such smooth action. The doors also, it's like this sort of mesh, like interestingly designed. I always like curbs and things. And this is like it's just a really beautifully designed inside and outside piece that I got. Article is offering our listeners there's right now $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.comisland and the discount will automatically be applied at checkout.

[C]

Wow, that's cool.

[D]

That's article.com island for $50 off your first purchase of $1. Hundred or more. Tomorrow morning is knocking.

[B]

Stock your fridge now.

[D]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[D]

Not exactly what we'd expect from an Oscar winning director.

[B]

Action Simon Williams audition for Wonder Man. I'm gonna need you to sign this.

[A]

Assuming you don't have superpowers. I never work again.

[D]

If anyone found out, my lips are sealed.

[B]

Marvel Television's Wonder man, all eight episodes

[C]

now streaming only on Disney.

[A]

You know, speaking of the ones that you know, sometimes you don't know if they're gonna be what you think they are. Or maybe being overly bullish. Me and you were so into legalize it from Pop Star. I don't include you, Yoram, in that. But you can include yourself or not.

[D]

I mean, I like it, but.

[A]

Yeah, but we. I remember just really, really liking it because of how it sounded and because it was different and because I thought. And then for years I've been like, ah, we should have put fuck off in the end credits. Because I like it more now than Legal Island.

[C]

I agree with that. Yeah.

[A]

But it was interesting at the Pop Star screening. So we're. It's the end credits and it's playing and it's a short amount of it that really lines up nicely with the credits and feels good. And it ended and we were talking about stuff and. And I brought it up to the audience because someone brought off and I was like, yeah, I wish it was that. When it said. And then everyone there kind of slightly disagreed and was like, that's a good feeling. They like off. But they were like, no, no, it's really good there. It fits with the credits. It ends nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

But Keev, were the people that all said that, like, oh, we love that one. And then they were layers in the audience.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It was at the Kingston screening.

[D]

Gotcha.

[A]

In Jamaica.

[C]

And they were all smoking.

[D]

No, they were like weed heads. You know what I mean? Like they just.

[C]

Obviously you can bleep that, as is our custom.

[B]

Yeah, of course. But in a house. Bleep it,

[C]

by the way. By the way. By the way.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

No one has approached me anywhere and asked for a gulp.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

A lot of people in the comments are trying to line up their gulps. They're like, they want time and place because they've been watching Digman and loving Digman. And they're like, where do I go for the gulps?

[C]

Well, look, I got a mouth sitting right here, you know?

[B]

And you're in New York now. One of the great, great walking towns in the world.

[D]

Yeah, People love a good place.

[C]

By the way, the first time this actually happens, I'm going to be real uncomfortable. Hey, shame. Gulp this.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

I probably shouldn't have to say this, guys, but if I'm with my kids, don't ask for the gulp. Okay?

[D]

Just take him to the side. He's off to the bathroom.

[B]

Obviously. Like, travel in pairs and make sure one of you has, like, toys for Andy's kids they can play with while

[A]

you take them around the corner.

[D]

Travel in pairs.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

There's legit luggage if you're looking for your Digman Quelp. Just have a bag of toys. Stuff that the kids. What are they into? Andy, what are the things your kids are into right now?

[C]

So they should have so much stuff, you know, just like straight edge, hardcore and.

[B]

Wait, can I share the screen for a sec? Keev?

[A]

Yeah, I'm not sharing anymore.

[B]

Oh, right. How do I do it again? Fucking. I know.

[D]

There you go.

[A]

Screen.

[C]

Is that.

[D]

Which one? Fucking it kind of.

[B]

All right, hold on. Share. Boom. Optimize. Share sound. Oh, no. Okay. Share sound.

[A]

Oh, Jesus. It's a roller coaster.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Okay, this one. You guys see it?

[C]

Yep.

[B]

This is like. Has become like a meme, this sketch. Do you know which one this is?

[C]

It's when he spits in her face, right?

[B]

Yeah. Look at you. Sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy at you.

[A]

More like Scarlet Johansson.

[B]

Good nickname. So real quick, Andy, you've done this the most. This is junket press.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So this is where you. You, a movie actor, sit in a chair and just, like, different interviewers come through.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Bill and Wig just already making me laugh so much.

[A]

By the way, this episode is Scarlett Johansson, Arcade Fire, and it's from November of 2010. And wig and Hayter just walked in as cheesy interviewers.

[D]

They're basically almost like morning show.

[B]

So they're. They're gonna do some junket press with Scratch. I'm Brady Trump.

[A]

And I'm Anastasia Sticks.

[B]

Thanks so much for Anastasia Sticks is a great name. And Bill almost laughs right off the bat at Anastasia Sticks. Anyway, are we ready to get started? Are we speeding? Is the Lynn's cap off my shoe shiny? Okay, Scarlett Johansson, right off the bat, I gotta say, congratulations on your Tony Award.

[C]

How did that feel?

[B]

Oh, God, I was so Surprised.

[A]

I was not expecting that at all.

[B]

Being on stage in New York, it's

[C]

such an incredible feeling.

[A]

They're weirdly nodding, encouraging her to keep talking.

[B]

Big open smiles. I do realize that I have. I'm playing a sight gag sketch, which is not great for the pod, but I do encourage everybody to go see a Hollywood dish. Wait, I want to get to the. You know what? I just. I think I should just go. Wait, please, please, one last question. One last question. And not personal at all.

[C]

Yes, we're asking everybody.

[B]

Just tell us how excited you are for the next and probably final season of the Jersey Shore.

[A]

You know, I've never seen the show, so.

[C]

I just don't watch a lot of reality television.

[D]

Wig's holding it together well, so we

[A]

did a spit take, but into Kristen Wiig's face.

[D]

Oh, that's great.

[A]

Then he took like a Slurpee and threw it in her face. And then a whole bowl of popcorn or chips and dumped it. The bowl on her head.

[C]

He's still acting so super surprised. You,

[B]

you have great skin. What is your secret? It's a wonderful one.

[A]

I mean, so is that. That's. That's a little gif that gets used over and over of him spitting.

[B]

It turns up all the time. Will not surprise you.

[C]

But then grabbing her drink, throwing in her face, and then pulling like a bowl of spaghetti from off camera. Is that what it is?

[D]

Wig really holds it together well in that she did.

[C]

And then Bill trying to hold the face of, like, shock that she's never watched reality shows or whatever. That's really funny.

[B]

Andy, do you remember we're gonna watch you from dress.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

This is called vocabulary words. Cut.

[A]

Oh, vocabulary man.

[B]

Do you remember it?

[C]

No. Who wrote it?

[B]

You and Jost.

[C]

The classic me and Jost. Probably some high school or college topic thing. Cause we were young guys.

[B]

Probably. You wanna give it a go?

[D]

Look at how young this gentleman looks.

[B]

I know. That's crazy.

[D]

Well, Seth Meyers, actually.

[B]

In the last 40 years, America has spent more and more on education with no noticeable increase in test scores. Here to comment on the state of our education system is the kid who just learned a bunch of vocabulary words. I mean, it's a real. It's a real Justin Andy, right off the bat. Aloha, Seth. Oh, so smug.

[D]

Real cocky. Look at that.

[B]

I hate this guy. I mean, I hate this guy so much more than the guy from the Model UN well, to this guy.

[C]

Well, that one aired and this one got cut.

[B]

So let's see.

[C]

We're about to find out why. Aloha.

[B]

Seth.

[C]

You look exquisite.

[B]

Thank you. So how are you?

[C]

I'm doing swimmingly, Seth. And also effervescent, thank you.

[D]

Very good.

[B]

So tell me, where do you think America's education system has gone wrong?

[C]

Well, Seth, I think you'll surmise that not all of the populace has been magnanimous. There's a lot of metaphysics that's almost quixotic in its magnanimous.

[B]

Out of curiosity, can you define the word magnanimous?

[C]

You are so sporadic, Seth. God, you are sporadic.

[B]

Define sporadic.

[C]

I don't know what any of these words mean.

[B]

The sats are in a week.

[C]

I'm never gonna get into Howard University. Yeah, Howard.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm sorry for being so maudlin. I apologize for this incessant nicktating.

[B]

What's nicktating?

[C]

It's a Latinate verb synonymous with blinky.

[B]

Hey, I think you're gonna be fine. I think you do know these words. Really?

[C]

Would you say this went swimmingly?

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Okay. I'm gonna go back to my room to masticate.

[B]

You're gonna go back to your room to chew.

[C]

Oh, no, I used the wrong word.

[B]

The kid who just learned a bunch of vocabulary.

[C]

Aloha again. Works both ways.

[B]

Nice.

[D]

I like how short that one was.

[A]

Yeah, it's cute.

[B]

Totally fair cut. But let's not bury the lead here. What you have tried to do there was repurpose Griff Banks is the Grifbanx.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So Banks has failed now twice as a sketch, and you're like, what if we take the part that's also not work.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

It was the crying. That was the Grifbanx.

[C]

And the voice.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Got it. But the perspective is decidedly different.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. This one was an update feature.

[B]

Well, there you go. It was a weird episode two of the. I mean, Scarlet, one of the great hosts of our generation, Arcade Fire, one of the great bands of our generation. And yet sometimes they just are. You know, they come and go.

[C]

There was some good stuff in there.

[A]

It's a bust. Is that a sequel to Chandeliers?

[C]

I will say, I was looking at the rundown and I noticed Jost had a real good show. And I was like, ooh, Ooh.

[B]

You think, like, maybe like. Oh, she's like a lot of rehearsing.

[A]

She was like, you're a star.

[C]

Well. Or he was like, yeah. He was doing his best to, like, catch her eye, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it worked.

[D]

They come and go like tumbleweeds at a Seth Meyers Stand up.

[B]

Show.

[D]

Good.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

It took me a second. It took me a second.

[A]

Oh, good. He's got a big bowl of zucchini to eat.

[C]

The show's come and go. I don't know.

[D]

Somebody said, come and go, and it worked.

[B]

Did your child bring you your big bowl of zucchini?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Seth.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Hey, Papa got your evening bowl of zucchini. Thanks, kiddo.

[B]

Papa, we wanted to make sure. Mama wanted to make sure you got your food before the pod was over so the Quaids could hear you chew.

[A]

Andy.

[D]

Andy drank some water.

[C]

If the Quaids don't hear Papa chew, then I sleep in the closet.

[B]

We bought you the crunchiest zucchinis we could find.

[D]

It's watercress, guys. It's different.

[A]

It's a weird house over there.

[B]

Even crunch it.

[C]

Well, at least you're also sick.

[D]

Unreal.

[B]

All right, I actually have to go.

[C]

Well, first off, let me just do my spelling bee.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Andy. Spelling bee. Spelling bee. Jack Black.

[C]

Spelling bee. Spelling bee. I got it with one hint.

[B]

What was your hint word?

[C]

It was fucking nuncio.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I missed one, but I haven't looked up what it is. And you're gonna, guys, in real time. You're gonna see how mean Andy is when I tell him a word I didn't get. I only missed by one, but I'm gonna tell him. Uncommon, you fucking idiot.

[A]

Wait, you got nuncio? Seth.

[B]

Yeah, but only after hints.

[A]

And what did it mean swimmingly, exactly? It seems like maybe a capillary.

[D]

Man,

[B]

I'm not gonna get into Howard.

[C]

Get into Howard, bro. Obviously the best joke in that was, yeah, I'm not gonna get into Howard.

[D]

Yeah. You guys, I little update on me. I only. I'm only on good right now, so I have not gotten to solid.

[C]

Hey, guys, it's Andy. I'm on an airplane. I'm about to take off. It's May 4th. I hope this isn't the last thing that I ever say, but I got queen bee. Squeaky clean. I got it squeaky. Zero hints of any kind. It was an easy one, granted, but I did it in under 15 minutes and got it completely squeaky. And it felt like a goddamn dream. Hot knife through butter. Seth didn't. He already texted me, so he definitely didn't get it. I hope this isn't too hard to listen to.

[B]

Okay, later, Quaid's.

[C]

Love you. Hey, can I just say one last thing before you leave, Seth?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I got a bone to pick.

[B]

Pick it.

[C]

I sent in a voice note for last Week's right at the end. And I knew it would be right at the end because I was told that I was talked about right at the end.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And so I listened to it to see how it was cut in, and I said, later, Arnold. And they cut it out.

[B]

What? Well, I think. Cause people, like, they like hearing Yorma say, take it away, Arnold.

[D]

Wait, is that not what you're supposed to say?

[A]

You could still let Andy say, later, Arnold, and then just come back for whatever you need to do.

[B]

I don't take it up with Jeff, dude. I'm not doing the post.

[D]

Look, I'm the favorite character on the

[B]

pod, by the way. Everybody does. Yormit is everybody's favorite. Now we just all have to fucking deal with that reality.

[C]

Well, it's. Cause he's the only one who's on it. It.

[D]

Look, when you're hungry, you gotta eat watercress.

[C]

Yeah. It turns out the guy who, like, takes out, like, multiple hours of his week all the time to thank everyone individually is the most likes.

[B]

Oh, somebody said they met Yoram, and they said, Yoram is the nicest person in show business. It's fake yet. No, it's Forte. We all know it's Forte. And I was trying to sell you something.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, big time. Over your dead body. Out. Now.

[C]

There it is.

[B]

The thing about Forte is so nice to people. I think we've talked about this. If you meet somebody, like, in Kansas City, and they're like, oh, I know Will Forte. You're like, oh, no, I gotta, like, I gotta be so nice to you to just be half as nice as Forte was. Correct.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, he's so nice and so patient and so kind and, like, it's lovely. But, like, if you're like. Cause you wanna be like, dude, before this even starts, I just want you to know I'm so much nicer than most celebrities, but I'm nowhere near as nice as Forte, and that doesn't mean I'm a bad guy.

[C]

And also, let's be real, there are times when Forte is so nice that it's, like, arguably a liability.

[D]

Oh, not sometimes where he, like, 50,

[C]

50 someone somewhere, and they're like, oh, I'm so happy. I just got out of prison for a triple homicide. And he's like, come to the after party.

[B]

He's like, I did some weird stuff to a guy who looked like Lorne Michael Giggles. Oh, you should meet the real one.

[A]

Andy, how did you feel about New York magazine saying that Seth and Jorma were the two sweetest sweetie pies of the lonely island. Seth Myers podcast.

[C]

I think that, you know, it's easy for people to just hear what they're given on the pod and not know the truth, right? The dark, dark truth.

[D]

Yeah, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. But that's fine, you know, it's a good watercress. Yeah, right.

[A]

Why are they putting on such a show? You know what I mean? Who's it for? For them?

[C]

Is it for them?

[A]

In a way, you know, it's so that they don't feel. They won't. Like. Where is this need to be liked coming from? You know what I mean? Dark, dark place.

[B]

Well, do you think it's just like, ASMR fans who are just like, super into yorm and they just know that

[D]

it's going to be a question, like,

[B]

great voice and like a lot of crunchy food? Yeah.

[D]

There's certain people that just tune in for the chime ads. I bet.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I hope it's a chime week. We don't know yet, guys. We record these and then we find out later which ads are in.

[D]

Can I show you guys something before you leave, Seth?

[B]

No, I gotta go look at this.

[D]

Somebody gave us this. He did. He did individual illustrations for every single short. And he gave us these posters. It's so nice. Gotta post names. His name is Josh Abraham is his name. And thank you, Josh.

[C]

Thanks, Josh Abraham.

[A]

Take a. Will you take a nice photo of that?

[D]

Hell, yeah.

[C]

Awesome.

[D]

Keith, you.

[C]

It also makes us feel good about all the work we did.

[B]

All right, I love you guys.

[A]

Seth's really trying to shut it down.

[D]

Love you too, Seth.

[C]

Love you, Seth. Love you guys.

[D]

Take it away, Arnold.

[C]

Later, Arnold. Later, Quaid. Fuck.