0001. Chris Faga and Joe Gorman

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo - Episode 0001: Featuring Chris Faga and Joe Gorman

Release Date: April 17, 2025
Host: GaS Digital Network's Zac Amico
Guests: Chris Faga and Joe Gorman

---

1. Welcome and Introductions [00:50 - 02:27]

Zac Amico kicks off the inaugural episode of "Zac Amico's Morning Zoo" with infectious enthusiasm. He welcomes his guests, Joe Gorman and Chris Faga, highlighting their contributions to the GaS Digital Network. Zac pays homage to podcasting veteran J. Gomez, expressing his gratitude and excitement for the new show's journey.

Notable Quote:

Zac Amico [02:13]: "I'm so happy to be here. And I want to point something out to all of the viewers... this is the most. This is the best package I've seen."

---

2. Recent Events and Personal Updates [02:27 - 04:23]

Joe Gorman shares his recent activities, including participating in the National Comedy Festival in Nashville and performing at Colorado's Gnarly's Bar, a unique establishment combining a toy museum, bar, and black box theater. Chris Faga echoes these sentiments, discussing their experiences and the camaraderie among the GaS Digital Network team.

Notable Quote:

Joe Gorman [03:32]: "I just got off the road last night... That is a toy museum and bar and black box theater."

---

3. SNL's White Lotus Parody and Actress's Reaction [04:23 - 11:17]

The conversation shifts to Saturday Night Live’s parody of the popular series "White Lotus." The trio examines the portrayal of a character with notably bad teeth, delving into the actress's dissatisfaction with the depiction. They debate the nature of caricature in comedy, discussing whether the joke targets the character or the actress personally.

Notable Quotes:

Chris Vega [05:30]: "I really loved [the parody]. And the chick from White Lotus with the bad teeth is pissed."

Joe Gorman [10:03]: "The funny part is that she was doing her face."

---

4. Mickey Rourke on Big Brother and Bella Thorne's Accusations [11:17 - 35:35]

A significant portion of the episode discusses Mickey Rourke's controversial stint on the reality show "Big Brother." Joe Gorman recounts Rourke's offensive behavior, including derogatory comments towards JoJo Siwa, which led to his removal from the show. The conversation extends to Bella Thorne's subsequent allegations against Rourke, accusing him of inappropriate behavior on set during the filming of the thriller "Girl." Zac, Joe, and Chris scrutinize the validity of these claims, with Chris expressing skepticism based on his own viewing of the film.

Notable Quotes:

Chris Vega [12:38]: "I think it's what SNL is, but the rest of us get with Punching up and I and Chelsea, the only ones that punch down on."

Joe Gorman [19:58]: "After the altercation with another cast member, they pulled him into the diary room again."

---

5. Fast Food Tacos Ranking [37:47 - 50:18]

Transitioning to a lighter topic, the trio reviews a recent article ranking the top seven fast food tacos. They discuss various chains, including Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, Taco John's, and others, sharing personal favorites and critiquing the preparation methods. Jack in the Box's tacos receive both praise and humorous criticism for their greasy, fried composition.

Notable Quotes:

Joe Gorman [38:15]: "Jack in the Box, that's like the one thing I miss out here on the east coast."

Chris Vega [39:38]: "They're just grease bombs. So imagine like a fried taco, but everything inside."

---

6. Additional Discussions and Plugs [50:18 - 74:43]

The conversation meanders through various topics, including personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and the sharing of upcoming projects. Zac, Joe, and Chris promote their respective podcasts and platforms, encouraging listeners to engage with their content. They also touch upon societal issues humorously, maintaining the show's chaotic and unhinged tone.

Notable Quotes:

Zac Amico [36:08]: "Go check out High Society Radio Thursdays on Gas Digital."

Joe Gorman [36:21]: "You can listen to my podcast. I do it with Alex Tomaselli, it's called Super Selly Joe's."

---

7. Conclusion and Final Remarks [74:43 - End]

Zac wraps up the episode by reiterating subscription information and thanking listeners for tuning in. The hosts share final humorous thoughts and anecdotes, ensuring the episode ends on their signature chaotic and entertaining note.

Notable Quote:

Zac Amico [74:02]: "Thank you so much for giving us a shot. And hey, this is really fun."

---

Summary Highlights:

• SNL’s Parody of White Lotus: The hosts dissect the comedic portrayal and the resultant backlash from the actress.

• Mickey Rourke on Big Brother: An in-depth discussion on Rourke's controversial behavior on the reality show and Bella Thorne's allegations against him.

• Fast Food Tacos Ranking: A humorous and candid review of various fast food tacos, with Jack in the Box's offerings being a focal point.

• Guest Promotions: Joe Gorman and Chris Faga promote their own podcasts, fostering cross-promotion within the GaS Digital Network.

• Personal Anecdotes and Humor: The episode is interspersed with personal stories, jokes, and unfiltered conversations that capture the show's chaotic spirit.

Overall Impression:

The inaugural episode of "Zac Amico's Morning Zoo" sets the tone for an unrestrained and entertaining drive-time show. With a mix of pop culture critique, personal storytelling, and humor, Zac, Joe, and Chris create a dynamic and engaging listening experience. Notable for its candid discussions and lively banter, the episode promises more wild and fun content in future installments.

Transcript

[Zach Amico]

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[Chris Vega]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Chris Vega]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Chris Vega]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Chris Vega]

Your number and keep more of your moolah. @t mobile.com up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card.

[Joe Gorman]

Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit.

[Zach Amico]

Service port in 90 plus days with device into eligible carrier and timely redemption.

[Joe Gorman]

Required card has no cash access and.

[Chris Vega]

Expires in six months. Fill her up. You're listening to the GAS Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the.

[Joe Gorman]

Sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs.

[Chris Vega]

And cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and Jo join the crew It's a morning suit. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, it's the boy, the international superstar Zach Amico. And this is the inaugural episode of of Sakamiko's Morning Zoo. Holy shit, it happened. Wow, look at that. I am joined by two wonderful gentlemen for what I hope is something that we really get to enjoy doing here on the network. Before I introduce them, I sincerely want to say I spent the last 10 years learning how to do this from what I think is the best podcaster in the world, lose J. Gomez. Thank you for everything and I hope to do you proud, buddy. I love you very much. Across the table from me are two of my favorite people from the super celly Joe's. It's our good buddy, Joe Gorman.

[Joe Gorman]

What's up, man? Thank you for having me. Thank you for letting me be a part of history, Zach.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, thank you so much for being here, my friend. And across the table from me, there is no one I rather have here for my first episode than my best friend from High Society Radio and Notes of a Goon, it's Chris Vega.

[Zach Amico]

What's up, Zach? I'm so happy to be here. And I want to point something out to all of the viewers. You know, I'm very rarely poignant about things. One, that was very nice of you to lie about Louis like that. Two, I just want to point out your intro, your background and your logo have an attention to detail, that this is how much everybody around here loves you, that no one else literal like Ralph has been like these people are Famous. Give them something good and fucking somebody will slap something together. And this is the most. This is the best package I've seen. This is your logo, by the way.

[Chris Vega]

That's the only time you're ever gonna hear Zach Amico. The best package I've ever seen.

[Zach Amico]

That's not true. You might send somebody something in jail that involves a cake and a nail file.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, like I'm gonna waste cake like that.

[Zach Amico]

You can still eat the cake.

[Chris Vega]

You can eat around.

[Joe Gorman]

Eat around the file.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. And I want to thank John Brennan and the Big Feet for our new theme song.

[Zach Amico]

It's great. Which whole thing was good.

[Chris Vega]

I absolutely love. It's so silly.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's the perfect vibe.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's the perfect vibe.

[Chris Vega]

But yeah. Thank you, everybody, for working so hard. Shannon fucking busted her ass all week making sure all this was together. The graphics team has busted her tits. Yeah. And I just want to thank everybody. And this should be a ton of fucking fun. I just got off the road last night. I was in Nashville for National Comedy Festival. Then I was in Colorado doing this awesome bar called Gnarly's. That is a toy museum and bar and black box theater.

[Zach Amico]

You sent me. You sent me pictures. It looked like I responded back to him. If he swallowed Pinocchio, that's what Pinocchio would find.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, it looked like I died. It became a bar. It's covered in my pet monsters and boglins and shit like that. Super fun. Thank you, everybody that came out. And we did a surprise screening of the new trauma movie Power Positive Murder. It was the first ever screening of the movie.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

And it was a rough cut, so it's a little too long.

[Zach Amico]

As opposed to all the very polished work that Troma puts out.

[Chris Vega]

Trust, buddy. You should see when they're. You should see when they're two and a half hours long.

[Zach Amico]

Really.

[Chris Vega]

As opposed to an hour and a half. Boy. But this one was fucking great. And I want to thank the crowd that came out to that. Let's have some fun. We got. We're gonna keep a lot of the Lewis and Zach real Ass podcast stuff. So we do have now show them them titties. All that fun stuff. But, you know, we also have more fun stuff. A midget beaten off in a trash can. And what else do we have? Dusty. Not that midget beaten off in a trash can.

[Zach Amico]

I hope it's all that. And Jorge just.

[Chris Vega]

No, no, no. It's. It's fine. And you know, in case Jorge needs to get out of here. Actually, I know how Chris got here today. Yes. It's gonna be a lot of dusty roads on this one.

[Joe Gorman]

Fuck, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

So I had a fucking blast this weekend. And one thing that I loved. Did you guys watch SNL this weekend?

[Zach Amico]

I did not.

[Chris Vega]

I know they had a White Lotus parody.

[Joe Gorman]

I did. See, that was discussed. Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

That I really loved. And the chick from White Lotus with the bad teeth is pissed. Is pissed. Do we have it? Shannon, you watch White Lotus? I, I, I watch my wife watch White Lotus.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You just observe them. Like, my girl watches it too. And when she's watching it, I kind of just go. It feels like a nature document.

[Joe Gorman]

I don't know. It looks like a, it looks like a chick show from what I've seen it.

[Zach Amico]

A hotel.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And it's like a, like, female protagonist and they're all being shitty to each other. I don't know.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. They walk away and talk about each other a lot. I mean, I like Walton Goggins a lot, so anything with him I'm pretty psyched on.

[Zach Amico]

Sure.

[Chris Vega]

And then, I mean, it's, it's fine. It's a lady show. But I just finished Yellow Jackets last night and that's a lady show.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I feel like there's decent lady shows. I like that. Did you watch Brand New Cherry Flavor on Netflix? It seems up your alley.

[Chris Vega]

No, no.

[Zach Amico]

Weird Body Horror Night?

[Chris Vega]

I'll do that. No, I've been watching Mid Century Modern Nathan la. A sitcom.

[Joe Gorman]

Isn't that with like, he's like, three gay men are living Gay Golden Girls. Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, it's. It's three gay guys living in an.

[Joe Gorman]

Apartment in Florida because, like, Golden Girls didn't have any gay fans at all.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

So this is, this is a good change.

[Chris Vega]

It's Gay Golden Girls, but, like, Two and a Half Men level of like, dirty humor. So it's just butt humor.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I mean, I feel like if they made Golden Girls now, it would. It maybe not be just butt fucking humor, but it would be. There'd be, it'd be significantly more sexual.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, there's a lot of, like, cum jokes. It's great. Pamela Adlon's on it. It's really fucking fun. All right, so, yeah, so they made fun of White Lows. Did the white POTUS.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

And. Yeah, let's, let's show it. RFK Jr. I mean, it's like I have all these crazy ideas, you know? Like, I have this syringe full of.

[Zach Amico]

Of active measles virus and I just want to stab somebody with it, you know?

[Chris Vega]

And I Mean, I mean, these insane ideas like, what if we took all the fluoride out of the drinking water, but what would that do to people's teeth? Fluoride. Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

And she's pissed off.

[Chris Vega]

She is unhappy with her portrayal.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna throw this out there. I saw just the post headline on Instagram and the photo, and I didn't. I didn't dive into it right before I got here. And I was like, which one's the SNL and which one's the chick with bad teeth? Does she actually have shitty teeth or is it just a character and they gave her a prosthetic?

[Chris Vega]

No, I think she's just English.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Oh, damn.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, it's hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

I mean. Yeah, that's not even. Like I saw, like, just. I was just like, I don't know which one is the fake one.

[Chris Vega]

It's the first thing when you see her on the show. You go, oh, that's. That's odd. And then you're like, oh, that's her fucking face.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Chris Vega]

And I say that with this being my face. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. It was fucking really. I actually thought it was a really solid fucking. John Ham brought. And they mentioned Jon Hamm's giant cock.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, nice. Hell, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

In the opening monologue, Kieran Culkin came out and he's like, I've seen you fucking jogging in those great. Those gray sweatpants. I just. I absolutely loved it. Did she have an official quote? Shannon.

[Shannon]

So she. She posted a bunch about it. I can show you a couple of her posts.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, please.

[Shannon]

So here's one.

[Zach Amico]

My culture is not yours.

[Chris Vega]

Is this a filter?

[Shannon]

So she claims that SNL reached out to her to, like, extend an olive branch, but she doesn't say exactly.

[Chris Vega]

Start chewing on it.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, it looks like Baby without a face kept a reality show and became an IG slut.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna skip ahead a couple here. Okay, here's another one.

[Chris Vega]

Can Shannon say it, but say it in her accent?

[Shannon]

I can't do accent.

[Chris Vega]

You can do it. Shannon. Shannon, it's a whole new time. Let your talent shine.

[Shannon]

I don't know. I'm not talented.

[Chris Vega]

Shannon, be English.

[Zach Amico]

Just try. Shannon. I'm not good at it.

[Shannon]

Can someone else say the first sentence and I can try to mimic it?

[Zach Amico]

Joke.

[Chris Vega]

Last thing I'll say on the matter.

[Shannon]

Last thing I'll say on the matter. Let me read the rest regular.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm not thin skinned. I actually love being. Taking the piss out of what is clever and in good spirits. But the joke was about fluoride. I have a big gap teeth and all. Not bad teeth. I. I don't Mark K. I understand it's what SNL is, but the rest of us get with Punching up and I and Chelsea, the only ones that punch down on.

[Chris Vega]

All right.

[Joe Gorman]

End of rant.

[Zach Amico]

Of course she doesn't mind caricature. She has to look in the mirror every day.

[Chris Vega]

I want to feed her a caricature horse teeth. I. Whose dentist you go to? Voss.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Because they don't have a national dental service.

[Chris Vega]

So, yeah, I guess she was mad that the joke was about not knowing what fluoride is. But, like, that's not the fight. The funny part is that she was doing her face.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like everyone gets made fun. Like, that's all SNL was in, like, the 90s and early 2000s was, like, funny.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, what's a character? Like, what's a feature that somebody has that's easily recognizable? And for her, it's that goofy fucking face.

[Zach Amico]

Well, even, like, people remember George H.W. bush with glasses just because Dana Carvey decided to put on glasses because he thought he should wear glasses. And people remember him with glasses now. He never wore glasses.

[Joe Gorman]

Not going to do it. Want to be pertinent or.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, or look at his. Ross Perot had giant cartoon ears.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

You know, that's how you do caricature. Like, literally, the lady said, I don't mind caricature. Which that's what it is. When people draw your fucking portrait on the boardwalk, they don't make you look normal. Yeah. They take your funniest thing and make it the biggest thing about you.

[Joe Gorman]

And if anything, they're making fun of her character on the show White Lotus, not her as a person. But she just also happens to have her same fucked up teeth on the show.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's unfortunate, but you got to live by the sword, die by the sword.

[Chris Vega]

Solid older lady nudity on that show. Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Like who the.

[Chris Vega]

There's like, the three blondes that sit together and they fuck. The one, the Russian.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

And she. When she gets kicked out of his apartment, she gets out of bed naked. Solid old lady dumper. Not old lady, but, you know, 40s, 50s, appropriately aged woman dumper. Other than that. Yeah. Fudgeing fun. All right, I want to do this with you. This is actually. Let's do another actress complaint before we go into silly shit. You guys keep it up with Mickey Rourke.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes. Now, this I'm into. I love this.

[Zach Amico]

So making Mickey Rourke rapes.

[Joe Gorman]

He did he? Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

So Mickey Rourke. Will. Will. Well, I guess we'll. We'll go backwards a little bit. Mickey Rourke was on the new Big Brother.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

And he has been. He is. Has to take leave.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

He's. I don't think he was eliminated. He has just been kicked off the show.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

Because he was making fun of JoJo Siwa.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

And I believe he called her a fag, which is a pretty funny thing to call a lady.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it was that. And then he also said, like, she's gay, right? Well, she's non binary. And she's like, my partner is also non binary. And he was like, oh, you won't be non binary after. After I'm through with you, or something like that.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

Implied he was gonna fuck womanhood into her.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Hey, listen, that's Randy the Ram Shannon. Give us some details.

[Shannon]

Okay, so I actually have a bunch of different clips from where he was offensive on Big Brother. So I'll just.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, and then we'll get to the Bella Thorne after that. Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay, nice.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think when Mickey Rourke is a chick from behind, he sticks his thumb in her ass and yells, she took my thumb.

[Joe Gorman]

Chop.

[Chris Vega]

She took the whole thing. Let's see.

[Shannon]

Here.

[Joe Gorman]

Ah, the old where's the cigarette room move.

[Chris Vega]

Come on, let's go on a journey. So do you like girls or boys? Me? Girls.

[Joe Gorman]

I know.

[Chris Vega]

I can tell my partner is non binary. That's the vape smoke room. There we go. Just think, in four days, we'll never see each other again. Four days now, babe, I'm trying to last four days.

[Shannon]

I'm going to cut ahead a little bit here.

[Chris Vega]

So this is, by the way, I will say, I think so. Do you like girls or boys? Is a pretty nice way of saying that.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that's fine. That's like a valid question too.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I think he was just trying to. That's literally like, hi, I'd like to get to know you.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's small talk.

[Zach Amico]

He was cte.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

He's just trying to understand the new generation.

[Chris Vega]

You are funny. Aren't I wonderful?

[Zach Amico]

Hey, bud.

[Chris Vega]

Thank you. Luck fucking. Aye.

[Joe Gorman]

Good.

[Chris Vega]

We all vote each other out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, eventually. I'm gonna vote the lesbian out real quick.

[Chris Vega]

That's homophobic. So that's homophobic. If that was your reasoning. Have you got any valid. You got anyone you want to vote out? I know we actually can't discuss.

[Zach Amico]

No, you can't.

[Joe Gorman]

We can't discuss this. This is undiscussed.

[Chris Vega]

It's A lesbian. I'm gonna vote out. Did you also say that? Okay, he does look like somebody shaved the Cowardly Lion. Yeah, he looks like it. He also kind of oddly looks like the Michael Myers mask.

[Zach Amico]

Well, also, I mean, everybody that looks like that, like, these old men who, like, try to all look like the Rolling Stone cover with Jim Morrison, like, they all end up looking like Ron Perlman in that Beauty and the Beast show.

[Chris Vega]

You know what I mean? Yeah. They're all like big cat men.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

So, okay, I think he's obviously just doing bad old man jokes.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

She doesn't fuck, guys. What's the point of having her here?

[Joe Gorman]

He's busting balls. It's just like a generational thing.

[Zach Amico]

Also, nothing he said was offensive.

[Joe Gorman]

No, like, I'm voting off the. It's like he could just say, like, I'm voting off that. That dumb bitch. Yeah, it's just. It's just the same. He's just being nice about it.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, he. He thought the show was called Big Brother. He thought it was just going to be him meeting a black guy for the first time. Hey, guys, real quick. We just want to talk about one of our good friends here at Brunt. Guys. Choosing work boots used to mean sacrificing comfort or durability. If they felt good, they didn't last long, and if they lasted, they wrecked your feet. However, Brunt Workwear finally ended that trade off, designing boots that withstand the toughest job sites while feeling as comfortable as your favorite sneakers. The founder of Brunt grew up blue collar and started Brunt after his friend in the trades encouraged him to start a workwear brand that was really built for them. That's why all Brunt products are named after the guys he grew up with. They might be the most comfortable work boots on the planet, but they also deliver real performance on the job. Whether you need waterproof safety toe or soft toe, pull on or lace up, they've got you covered. And they're so confident these boots will blow you away that they even let you try it on the job risk free. So for a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt with the code LAZ. At checkout, just head to bruntworkwear.com and use the code LAZ and you're all set. And after you do buy them, do us a little favor. When they ask where you heard about Brunt, tell them it was from our show, guys. Check them out. It's a really great product, and I hope you dig it. I know we got a lot of blue collar fans. And I would like to take care of your tootsies. Try out Brunt today. Bruntworkware.com use the promo code LAZ for 10 bucks off. Let's get back into the show. All right. Let's keep it going. Shanoon. No, we can't. Which Jojo's?

[Joe Gorman]

We got Jojo, right?

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Jojo. Jojo. Lovely lady. Is she? Lovely girl. Yeah. Yeah, She's a good lad. Appreciate ya. She's what I call some woman. I need a fag. I'm talking dio.

[Zach Amico]

To be fair, he said he needed one.

[Chris Vega]

Mickey. You can't say that.

[Joe Gorman]

Mickey.

[Chris Vega]

One breath at a time, troops. One breath at a time, man. No matter.

[Zach Amico]

You're on your own. That girl just didn't want to even be on camera with him anymore.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice. Mickey Rock rocks, dude.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, just the guy. He's out of his element. It's like in the wrong time.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, man. Out of time.

[Zach Amico]

They also. This is why he was booked on the show.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. So that he could say something. Look at him. He's a crazy person.

[Joe Gorman]

This is the most anyone's talked about the Big brother reality show. And who knows?

[Chris Vega]

I had no idea they were doing another celebrity woman.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And then I just have. I have him apologizing to her. I don't know if you care to see that.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, of course.

[Shannon]

This is her. She was crying about it.

[Chris Vega]

I dropped my ring.

[Joe Gorman]

Do you want some help?

[Chris Vega]

No, you can't move the couch. I'm whacking it with a spatula.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

I just need something a little bit longer.

[Joe Gorman]

But you've seen it.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I got clear visual on it. Thank you. Sorry. You got your slippers.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, that guy on the couch is him after the botox wears off.

[Chris Vega]

Just got a short, bad habit of having a short fuse. I don't mean nothing by it. Okay, Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

I do mean it.

[Chris Vega]

I appreciate your apology. If I didn't, I wouldn't say it to you. I know. Okay. I appreciate the apology and I. I.

[Joe Gorman]

Hope you enjoy your slipping. It's all good. What's the problem?

[Chris Vega]

I think that so far is a pretty. Okay, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Didn't call her a. Yeah. If she's going to be here, he wants equal representation.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, to be fair, Mickey Rourke has spent a lot of time in Russia. So it's like bag is like. Not even a word there.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I think I gotta give. The guy didn't do anything.

[Joe Gorman]

He didn't do anything.

[Chris Vega]

What's the word now?

[Shannon]

What's the wait?

[Chris Vega]

What. What's. What's the result of this?

[Shannon]

So, by the way, the other video that I had of him having an altercation, a verbal altercation with someone's house was taken down from YouTube just now. So I don't have that. But he just. He just had words. Someone stared at him for a second, and he was like, what the are you doing? Whatever. And they went back and forth, and it was at. So after he said the things to Jojo Siwa, they warned him on the show, and they're like, you have to, like, stop saying these inappropriate things. It's offensive. He's like, yes, okay, sorry. And then after this altercation with another cast member, they pulled him into the diary room again.

[Chris Vega]

And the diarrhea room. Did you know that's what. How did you know that's what I call the bathroom?

[Joe Gorman]

They have a smoke room, a diarrhea room. They got it all.

[Chris Vega]

You think they'd have defamatorium.

[Zach Amico]

They'd have Depends at Crafty for Mickey Rourke.

[Shannon]

So they pulled him into the room, and then they kicked him off the show.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Shannon]

After the verbal altercation with the other.

[Zach Amico]

Guy, what was the. What did he say to the other guy?

[Shannon]

He was just like. Because they were playing, like, a silly game. And then one of the guys just stared at him as part of, like, being in character, and he's like, you know, what the fuck is your problem? And then just, like, went off for no reason.

[Zach Amico]

And the guy was like, I thought you said you needed this.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. I gotta say, as far. As far as right now, how I feel about them being offended by Mickey Rourke. Fuck your mama, fuck your sister, your grandma. Most of all, fuck you.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Chris Vega]

Thank you. All right, now, so he's been kicked off, and now Bella Thorne has come out against Mickey Rourke after this, right? So basically, man gets in trouble, lady gets on bandwagon. Is this story right?

[Zach Amico]

Well, what is the story?

[Chris Vega]

Well, she's accusing him of being inappropriate on set. Oh, Shannon fellas in.

[Shannon]

So she claims that while they were working on the 2020 thriller Girl, that this dude was gross and that there was a part where he was supposed to use a. Like, a meat grinder to threaten her. And he was supposedly supposed to do it on her knee, but she said that he rubbed it on, like, her pubic bone and that she had bruises from it after. But I went ahead and I actually rented the movie, and I skimmed through the whole thing. This is the closest thing I can find to what she was referring to, and I don't even see her Making contact. But maybe it was a scene they didn't include. But I can show you that here.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, please.

[Joe Gorman]

Here we go.

[Chris Vega]

Well, that's not a. Oh, hold on. That's just a grinder.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's not a meat.

[Chris Vega]

A meat grinder is the thing you make like, sausage in, right? Yeah, like there's like a crank on. Because I was going, how big is her pussy?

[Zach Amico]

You get an. Yeah, like her lips got to be falling out to fucking. Make it.

[Chris Vega]

To lower her into a meat cry. But. Okay, so now this makes more sense.

[Shannon]

That's it. That's the only thing I could find with anything that resembles a grinder. And then later on in the movie, he does, like, step on her throat, which I think that would be a more problematic scene. But she doesn't mention that one.

[Chris Vega]

You mean the thing that was in the script? In the movie?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's still a movie.

[Shannon]

But I mean, as far as, like, him being rough with her or something like this, he didn't even make contact with her. But I skimmed through the whole movie. This is the only thing I can find.

[Chris Vega]

So we would assume there is a take where he got close to her with this fake movie grinder.

[Zach Amico]

It's probably real, but it probably wasn't on. You know what I mean?

[Joe Gorman]

Like, yeah, like post production type whatever.

[Zach Amico]

When he probably just fell a little.

[Chris Vega]

Or he was just being provocative. Like.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, in a scene. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Or yeah, they went. But like, that's why you rehearse. That's why you have. It's not like they were in a locked room. There's a fucking camera crew there.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I'm sure it's a uni, right? There's like an intimacy coordinator for something like this. If he has to get anywhere near her private.

[Chris Vega]

Even if it's a closed set, there's a director. There's a director of photography. There's a sound guy. There's 20. Yeah. A closed set. Yeah. I would say is 10 to 20 people.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

So I think if he gets too close, there's literally 20 people you could turn to and scream, stop.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. I believe he was a creep, though.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, you can be like, I.

[Zach Amico]

Just don't think that was the problem. I bet he was like. I would bet money that Mickey Rourke still thinks he looks like Mickey Rourke when he was 20.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

In his mind he thinks he looks like that.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. And yeah, it's like Quantum Leap.

[Zach Amico]

So he thinks. But like, bitches all wanted to fuck him.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, so he just still thinks it's.

[Joe Gorman]

That he thinks he can still get, like, Demi Moore.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, maybe at the end of the substance.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

I just. Is that's your line?

[Joe Gorman]

Like, damn.

[Zach Amico]

I'm just saying, like. Yeah, like. Shannon, I know this is a very.

[Chris Vega]

No, no, that's Mickey Rourke. I'm so, so sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Now show them them titties.

[Chris Vega]

I didn't know this. He came with feeling like, I need to abuse Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

He's building a chair.

[Chris Vega]

The power is in me. But, like, I. If that's your line, man, the power.

[Zach Amico]

Tool was in her.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, if that's your line, dude, fucking go work with Gary Busey for a day. That's all I'm going to say. Dude, I heard a fucking Gary. I heard Gary Busey's tough.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I mean, I can see that. But he was never like. Gary Busey was never a heartthrob level. He's just crazy.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, well, I mean, he's also got a significant brain injury.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

From the motorcycle crash.

[Zach Amico]

Gotcha.

[Chris Vega]

But yet. No, I. There are stories of working with Gary Busey that I have. That I have received that, you know, like, having to lock him out of trailers and shit. Trying to break in and shit.

[Zach Amico]

Jesus.

[Chris Vega]

Have you ever seen the video of him just taking his sweats off?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Chris Vega]

Shady. Can you look up? He's, like, really fucked up. Like, he gets kicked out of conventions.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He. People should not be booking him on things.

[Chris Vega]

No, it's like. It's kind of elder abuse at this point.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. You get the. You want the experience of it, and then you get it and you're like, ah, this isn't what I thought it was going to be. Yeah, I think it's like more like kind of like. Oh, kind of quirky, goofy Gary Busey. But then it's like there's another side to it.

[Chris Vega]

Shannon, do you know what I'm talking about? Where he's on the bench and he just takes his pants off?

[Shannon]

Yes. I'm trying to find it.

[Chris Vega]

Is that still up?

[Zach Amico]

He had been famous longer for being a crazy person. That he was ever famous for being a TV actor.

[Chris Vega]

Well, he played. He had the big movie where he was the rock star who died in the plane crash. Right. Who is. Who am I talking about?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. I know I remember it being on.

[Chris Vega]

Channel 11, but I think that was, like, his big break.

[Joe Gorman]

And he was in. He was in Point Break, too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's in a bunch of, like.

[Joe Gorman]

The comic relief sort of get me to. I remember that.

[Zach Amico]

But in my nuts, those Were those movies, those big movies that he was in were in like the late 80s.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. I think he's been a crazy person longer than he's been.

[Zach Amico]

He was a movie star because then it was. Because he was a crazy person. And then they used him for the first wave of these reality shows. Right. Like he was on Surreal Life and he.

[Chris Vega]

And he did the thing where he had all the. What are those. What are those called? Where it's. Every letter is a different thing in a sentence.

[Zach Amico]

I think Mickey Roer said it before.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, did he?

[Zach Amico]

Thanks.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. You know what I mean though.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, I know he was on Celebrity Fit Club.

[Chris Vega]

Like how. How ABC is always be closing.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay.

[Chris Vega]

That, that setup. Shannon, do you have the thing of him taking his pants off?

[Shannon]

I. I just have. I have a screenshot for right now of him with his pants half down on the bench.

[Joe Gorman]

That's just some old man right there.

[Zach Amico]

My balls was hot.

[Shannon]

Also, just to go back to Mickey Rourke for a second, Bell Thorne also said that towards the end of filming that movie Girl, that he was saying that he wanted to quit the show, quit doing the movie. He didn't want to finish filming. He wouldn't talk to directors or producers, so. So she herself had to go into his trailer and beg him to continue the movie. And that's the only reason why he did.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. What if. I think she's just hopping on the bandwagon on that one.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, that just seems like cunty actor. Yeah, like it is cunty. I mean, if she's never worked with somebody that's that much of an. Yeah, then maybe. But something tells me she has.

[Chris Vega]

All right, they go work with Wesley Snipes.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Is Wesley Snipes an asshole?

[Chris Vega]

They said on Blade three he would only communicate via post it note.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

And he signed them all Blade.

[Joe Gorman]

And there was like one thing where.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on.

[Chris Vega]

You hate that I absolutely as a fucking person has to make movies. Yes. I do hate that.

[Joe Gorman]

They also had to CGI in his eyes opening because there was one shot where Blade was supposed to open his eyes and he just would not do it. So they CGI like these crazy looking eyes and it looks super cgi. Just because he didn't want to work with the directors and stuff.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, he's one. He's like having Snoop in a movie where you're like, you're gonna get half the shots you need with him.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

And then they're gonna use the body double for any time he's not. I think they might have done because There's a couple Snoop movies where they just put his face on his body double.

[Joe Gorman]

I could see it. And Snoops, he's probably just high as well. He just walks off sets just wandering around.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, yeah. But they also, they said, because Patton said that Wesley Snipes was just like high out of his mind and he was convinced he was Blade and he wouldn't listen to the director.

[Joe Gorman]

That's the kind of method acting you need.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

There's only one Blade, by the way.

[Zach Amico]

Blade 2. Still one of the best.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, it's a banger.

[Zach Amico]

Probably the best Marvel movie still.

[Joe Gorman]

It's a. It's a great vampire movie.

[Chris Vega]

I was gonna disagree with you, but I can't.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's really so goddamn good.

[Chris Vega]

It's really high up there, dude.

[Zach Amico]

The rave scene when he's got the big fat vampire and he's got the fucking sunlight on him, dude.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh God.

[Chris Vega]

It's pretty great.

[Joe Gorman]

That scene where like the vampire like opens up his mouth like. And as a kid I was like, what the.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that fight scene at the end is dope.

[Chris Vega]

And I will. I. I did love when he was in Deadpool. Wolverine.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that was, that was fun.

[Chris Vega]

Pretty great. I just rewatched that.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

And I forgot how much I genuinely enjoyed it.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn, that's a trilogy worth rew. At least the first two movies are worth rewatching.

[Zach Amico]

Wesley Snipes was so good in so many movies. Like, I think there's more good. There's more rewatchable Wesley Snipe movies at least than Mickey Rourke movies.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, sure.

[Zach Amico]

100.

[Chris Vega]

And I will go for one reason and one reason only, and that is to Wong Fu.

[Zach Amico]

To one. Fu's a great movie.

[Joe Gorman]

That was a great. That was a. That was ahead of its time too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, way ahead.

[Joe Gorman]

You know, it's very progressive. Like now it's like probably like, I bet now they're probably going to shit on it because like they're not actually like cross dresser, you know, you should get an actual like drag queen to do a reboot of it. But for the time we really normalized the whole thing. Yeah, it showed like there's depth to these. It's not just like the punchline isn't like, oh, they just fucking dress up like women. Hahaha. Like there's like a plot, character development.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, they're. They're three dimensional human beings. It's not for laughs.

[Joe Gorman]

Right.

[Chris Vega]

The whole time.

[Joe Gorman]

And that's what makes it.

[Chris Vega]

And it can be. Yeah, it is funny. You know what I would say Jerry's out on Lake was ammo. He was a little too comfortable.

[Zach Amico]

You think? Still nothing else has ever come out. I don't know.

[Chris Vega]

I don't know. He's that guy. That guy likes being a lady. All right. I think that's why he has to turn so hard to prevent pretend he's a professor now whenever he does comedy.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

You know what I mean? He dresses like a teacher. Chalkboard and shit. I think he was a chalkboard.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Chris Vega]

I think the last special he did, he's dressed like a teacher and he has like a board and like a pointer and shit.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, and if you look his early, like one man shows like where he would do like impressions of like everyone in his neighborhood. He was always so seamlessly going into like the women voices and like the mannerisms of like the Latina woman and stuff.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I would say cherries out on Lake was.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

All right, we're gonna. We have a couple fun things. Let's. Let's talk about this. You guys hear BJ Penn thinks his family's been murdered.

[Joe Gorman]

That is some CTE type and replaced. Yeah, yeah. Murdered and replaced.

[Zach Amico]

He's got. This is not even. So I brought this up to Harrington and he was like, this is like par for the course. He's been doing this for years. That like he just like there's crazy about him all the time.

[Chris Vega]

So, Shannon, what's going on with BJ Penn?

[Shannon]

So he's posted a bunch of stuff asking for help from the local police, saying that like you said, that his family was murdered and that these new people, the imposters, are trying to steal everything he has. This is one of the posts here where he shows the differences of the people and why he thinks that they're impost. So you're saying this is real versus fake?

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, they do look different.

[Shannon]

The tooth thing is pretty weird.

[Chris Vega]

Maybe people give veneers.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like, no.

[Shannon]

But this one is after. And it's like this one tooth is out in a weird way.

[Zach Amico]

Does his brother also fight?

[Shannon]

I don't know.

[Chris Vega]

I don't know. I feel like maybe sometimes your teeth change. Right.

[Shannon]

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[Joe Gorman]

Maybe a little.

[Zach Amico]

But I think his argument is that if they can use dental records to identify a body. You know what I mean?

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, no, you're correct.

[Zach Amico]

But also, why would the CIA want to replace his. That's what he, like, thinks.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, he thinks it's CIA.

[Zach Amico]

So that was what it was. It was. He came out a couple weeks ago and said that the CIA got to. I forget what fighter it was. He was like, it happened to me. It happens to everybody when you get to a certain point and they rig the fights. And so my argument was like, I can kind of believe that, especially with all the gambling going on now. If you were gonna fund a war for, say, like, the Contras, I would just rig a fight and be the guy who collects on the fucking underdog parlay on a fucking UFC card. You know what I mean? That's the new selling crack in la.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And then. And then that's. And that's when. That's when Harrington was like, no, no, no. He also thinks they replaced his family. And I was like, okay, fair. He's crazy.

[Joe Gorman]

He's out there, man.

[Chris Vega]

I just gotta say. Yeah, it's CTE, dude. Right?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Oh, 100.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody was, like, happy that fighter, like, got choked out. That was like, talking about. It's like, these guys all have brain damage and they're still putting them in fights. Like, it's.

[Joe Gorman]

And they're entertaining as fuck. Fights. Yeah, that's the problem.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody was just like. Well, he just said this thing about, like, Hitler. It's like. I don't know. It's kind of weird that, like, when people get punched in the head for a living for 20 years, that they start having fringe views. I don't know.

[Joe Gorman]

Didn't he try to rebrand himself as White Power, too? Yeah, like, he changed his name to his come under the State, by the.

[Zach Amico]

Way, that it never works out for the guy doing that, that they don't lose. Remember that guy called himself the Wal and then got smacked up by a Mexican guy in a boxing match? Like, it's like, it never works out for you.

[Chris Vega]

It's just. It's putting the cart before the horse. Choose that name after.

[Joe Gorman]

He just wanted to hear Bruce Buffer.

[Chris Vega]

Say it like, if that guy called him. That one guy called himself the Gracie Destroyer or before he ever beat all the Gracies, I think that would have went poorly for him. And eventually it did. One of them fucking stomped him.

[Zach Amico]

But they're gonna keep coming. It's a Latin family. They're just gonna keep churning them out. John Henry against the machine.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like trying to outrun a radio. Yeah, yeah. There's no. There's no. There's no out fight. You can't. You can't out fight the way Mexicans out fuck.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Vega]

So, yeah, just. Is there more to that, Shannon, or just BJ Penn's a crazy person.

[Shannon]

I just think he's a crazy person.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so he goes to prison for this. Shannon will be his BJ pen pal. Oh, she's gonna draw pictures of her way too short.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, yeah, he's a. He's a little fella, isn't he?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

I tower over him.

[Shannon]

He's. Oh, no, he's not. Well, he's not crazy short. He's five nine.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, he's a giant. What's he complaining about?

[Chris Vega]

Damn, dude, listen, fucking be happy this CIA replace you and your giant cock. You fucking massive man. All right? So let's. Let's have a fun. Actually, before we do that, let's do plugs. Chris. What do you want people to check out?

[Zach Amico]

Go check out High Society Radio Thursdays on Gas Digital. I got another podcast called Notes of a Goon. We got some cool stuff coming up. Check that out and follow me, Chris, from Bklyn on Twitter and Instagram.

[Chris Vega]

Fantastic. Mr. Gorman.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my gosh. Well, you can listen to my podcast. I do it with Alex Tomaselli. It's called Super Selly Joe's. Comes out every week. You can follow me on Instagram, you can add me on PlayStation or Xbox. My tag is Joe W. Gorman. Please hang out with me. I got some shows coming up. All of it's on social media.

[Chris Vega]

Phenomenal. Hey, if you guys want to see me live, go to punchuplive.com Zach Amico. I am going to be on the road with Juggalo Championship Wrestling and we've got a whole tour coming up. They actually just signed me through August, so at least one week a month between now and then, you got a chance to come see me call wrestling. And I got a bunch of stand up. I'm going to be announcing very, very soon. As far as the show. Hi, thank you for tuning in to our first episode of Zak Amico's. Morning Zoom. If you love the show and you want to subscribe to Gas Digital, go to gas digital.com, use the new promo code Zoo, and you get a buck 50 off a month. You get episodes early, ad free, uncensored. You get the archives of all the old Lewis and Zach and realize podcasts. Over a thousand episodes, plus all the other great shows on the network. Again, early, uncensored, ad free. And the live chat, all that fun stuff, the art archives, and thank you so much for tuning in. And now, since this is my show, we're gonna talk about fast food.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, fuck. Yes.

[Chris Vega]

Article came out this week. What is it? All recipes, right, Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Chris Vega]

I tried seven fast food tacos and this is the one I'll order again and again. So let's try and figure out the best fast food taco.

[Zach Amico]

It's gonna be some southwestern chain we never heard.

[Joe Gorman]

I don't know, man. Because, like, the Jack in the Box tacos are sublime.

[Chris Vega]

Really.

[Joe Gorman]

And like, you didn't. You wouldn't expect it, but, man, yeah. Jack in the Box, that's like the one thing I miss out here on the east coast is Jack in the Box.

[Chris Vega]

Okay, So I love the Jack in the Box taco, but it is on without a shadow of a doubt. Absolutely. Dog shit. So here's the thing. Are you familiar?

[Zach Amico]

I am aware that Jack in the Box has tacos. I've been to Jack in the Box. I've had Jack in the Box egg rolls that were gross.

[Chris Vega]

So here's.

[Joe Gorman]

I love those two.

[Chris Vega]

Here's the thing with the Jack in the Box taco. This is what I think makes them special, is they take it, they put the meat, the cheese, lettuce, and tomato in it, then they put them in the fryer.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. I can see why you would want to try that and why some people would be like, this is a particular thing that I remember from when I was very high, when I was younger. And it's great because I'm sure they're like two for a buck or something, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Pretty much.

[Chris Vega]

They're pretty. They're. But they're just grease bomb. So imagine like a fried taco, but everything inside.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, grease bomb is what they call Italian suicide bombers.

[Chris Vega]

Arrived at her chee Boom. Yeah. So they're. They're terrible. It's not the way you should make a taco.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

Because the let. You should not be frying lettuce.

[Zach Amico]

No, no.

[Chris Vega]

It's a terrible thing.

[Zach Amico]

Sure.

[Chris Vega]

But are they great? Sure.

[Zach Amico]

Is it the only way Zach will Eat his lettuce. So they have to.

[Chris Vega]

They have to fry my lettuce.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Here comes the airplane. Also an Italian grease bomb.

[Joe Gorman]

I've never had Jack in the Box sober and I've never had it before 1am but it's. I've always enjoyed it.

[Chris Vega]

The two things I will say for Jack in the Box are the tacos. And they do have all day breakfast.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, That's. I mean, you need that.

[Chris Vega]

All day breakfast is, to me, really sets places apart.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

I don't know if they still have it, but they used to have like, munchy meals that were available after 11 and where it's just like all kinds of crazy stuff.

[Chris Vega]

It's like a stoner meal. They. I know Snoop Dogg had one.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Like, they have like. It's like they make like a hamburger, but it's like the buns are two grilled cheeses together. So.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, eat that crazy shit. It's crazy good.

[Zach Amico]

It's the kind of thing where it's like you go into a place, you're like, I'm not going to eat too much. But they have something so weird on the fudgeing menu. Like, well, I'm not going to not have that. You know, I mean, like, you know. You know, when you go somewhere, like, I would never want. I would never crave those Rutgers grease truck sandwiches. But if I was nearby the fat sandwich drunk and you were just like.

[Chris Vega]

We gotta get a fat Darrell.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we do. I would just like immediately be like, yeah, it's been years. I gotta get one of those.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. And it's been a new one. Fries on a sandwich is never good.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's never what you think.

[Chris Vega]

You take three bites of it, you're like, this is too much.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

But I. I do love. But I think they're gonna go. I agree with Chris. A lot of Southwestern chains.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Maybe Del Taco.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like people always talk about Del Taco.

[Chris Vega]

Del Taco is pretty all right.

[Zach Amico]

It's not bad. I've had it before. It's been a long time, but I feel like it. I was like, this is.

[Chris Vega]

So let's guess what else, because it was the top seven. I. My first guest on here is going to be Chipotle.

[Joe Gorman]

Mm.

[Zach Amico]

That's going to be your number one.

[Chris Vega]

I don't think it's going to be number one. I think it's definitely going to be noted as good.

[Joe Gorman]

Now, is this a blind taste test or.

[Chris Vega]

I think it's just their top seven.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

Of the fast food tacos what's the.

[Zach Amico]

Name of that place in Austin that people from there talk with about? That's a chain. Toasty Toasties. I feel like people from down there have, like, told me that that's like a decent taco chain, but I would say it's probably like Del Taco. I feel like that's the most common. I think that'll be number one.

[Chris Vega]

Okay. What? There.

[Joe Gorman]

There's like Taco John's.

[Shannon]

Torches, maybe.

[Zach Amico]

Torches. That's it.

[Chris Vega]

Thank you. So we have torches. Do you think Taco Bell makes the list?

[Joe Gorman]

I bet it's like one. Yeah, I think it. I do think so, because we. They get like all those fancy things, but like, just like a traditional, like, hard shell taco.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Fresh. Yeah, it's not terrible. It's not bad. Yeah, it'll hold you over.

[Chris Vega]

Okay, so, Shannon, let's go through the list one by one.

[Shannon]

So the first, you were right. The honorable mention, Chipotle steak tacos.

[Zach Amico]

Honorable mention.

[Chris Vega]

So I didn't even make tops up.

[Shannon]

This is like, basically, I thought this.

[Zach Amico]

Was going to be all boilerplate, just their taco. So now apparently you can do. Well, I guess that is chipotle. You have to choose a meat, right?

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Shannon]

Okay. Number six is Qdoba. Ground beef taco.

[Chris Vega]

Okay. Qdoba. Never even haven't had Qdoba in years.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I think I must have passed them.

[Joe Gorman]

I think there's one in Bushwick somewhere.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, I get that. What about.

[Zach Amico]

That's the name of a DJ at a bar.

[Chris Vega]

What about those? Toros?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, that's pretty good.

[Chris Vega]

I would say those tourists are going on there.

[Shannon]

Shannon, number five. Hardee's red burrito. Hard beef taco. Hold on.

[Joe Gorman]

Isn't it Carl's Jr. Out here on the east coast? No, it's Hardee's.

[Chris Vega]

I don't think it's either here.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think we have either. I always wanted to try one of those Hardee's breakfast burritos. That was supposedly like 12, 000 calories or something. Those are good.

[Joe Gorman]

I bet I haven't had that.

[Zach Amico]

They looked so good. It was like bacon, sausage, ham, eggs, then like hash browns on it and like white gravy, like on the. It looks so good.

[Joe Gorman]

That's great. You're going right back to sleep for that. If you have that for breakfast, what do you got?

[Zach Amico]

You can't be eating that before, like, before you go to bed.

[Shannon]

Fourth place.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, wait, did you get the Hardee stuff?

[Shannon]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, I don't. This Is the. It's coming up in different ways. You can share this.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, that just looks like.

[Joe Gorman]

Just like a regular.

[Chris Vega]

Can you show Chris the Jack in the Box taco?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Because once again, I don't think belongs on the list because it's its own thing.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You think it's separate. It's not a taco.

[Chris Vega]

I don't know. Is a taco.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wait a second. I have had these.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Now that I've seen an actual picture of it, I'm like, I've definitely.

[Joe Gorman]

It brings back those memories.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Okay. So, Shannon, what's number four?

[Shannon]

Number four? Jack in the Box. Tiny tacos.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, maybe that's what I've had. They look exactly the same, but they're tiny.

[Joe Gorman]

They're smaller, and, like, they. I don't think they have the lettuce in them.

[Chris Vega]

Do they come in, like, a Chinese food box?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, or like a Chinese food box. Or like, a little, like, bag where it's just like, a bunch of them in there.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

I got my first hermit crab. Yeah, I got my first hermit crab in a Chinese food box. I named the Mr. Chow Main.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that's a good pet for a kid.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's why my cat's name is Mushu.

[Joe Gorman]

Because it was like, man, they saved him from a Chinese restaurant. He's combo number five.

[Chris Vega]

All right, so Jack in the Box, tiny tacos. What's next?

[Zach Amico]

Third place, by the way, I never knew I needed a fucking Chinese accent mambo. Number five. Combo number five.

[Chris Vega]

That definitely exists.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

I bet you there is no way that does not already have a racist song parody. Yeah, Shannon, have Jorge look it up while we move on.

[Zach Amico]

Making Jorge look it up is cute.

[Shannon]

I found it already. I could. We could just play it real quick.

[Zach Amico]

You found it.

[Chris Vega]

Of course it exists.

[Shannon]

There you go.

[Zach Amico]

One Way Kitchen.

[Chris Vega]

I love it. Hello, welcome to One Way Kitchen. I take your order, please. I highly recommend the combo number five. Oh, nice. Yeah. Combo 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Everybody love a Chinese SEO fry from the Chinese restaurant around.

[Zach Amico]

There really are no new ideas.

[Chris Vega]

By Rubega. What are the chances that this is a white guy?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, it's 100%. A white guy who.

[Zach Amico]

What's the name of the YouTube channel so people can find it?

[Shannon]

Charles Wysig. He has, like, less than 2,000 subscribers.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice. An underground sensation.

[Chris Vega]

My favorite ever was Crank that Kosher Boy. Did you guys ever hear that? Can you play crazy just about a.

[Zach Amico]

Jewish kid jerking off?

[Chris Vega]

Can you play Crank that Kosher Boy real quick? Because it's What I say every time I see Hasidics. Whatever. We.

[Joe Gorman]

Superman. And watch me, you.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, is this. I don't know if this is the same one I've seen.

[Zach Amico]

This is a different one.

[Chris Vega]

This might be a different one. Move forward a little. Attention in the synagogue. Every time I drive through Brooklyn and you see a bunch, I go.

[Zach Amico]

You jump back two times.

[Chris Vega]

Jews.

[Joe Gorman]

See?

[Zach Amico]

But this was actually made by Jewish people.

[Chris Vega]

Yes.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

This is more offensive to black people.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

This is a pretty good John parody.

[Joe Gorman]

This is what the IDF is blasting.

[Chris Vega]

Straight out the tunnels.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Thank you. See, that is so much funnier that my feed is filled with guineas doing this, where it's like they. They take. They do song parodies, and it makes me want to throw my phone through the fucking window when it's just like, oh, my God, I hate it. But that's. Fuck Jews. Crank that, kosher boy. Pretty fucking solid combo number five. Hilarious.

[Joe Gorman]

Weird Al is looking down on us and smiling, man.

[Chris Vega]

Hey, I got tickets. See him at msg, baby.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, fuck, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Speaking of Chinese food, amazing guy.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, I saw him twice. Like, I saw him once when I was, like, 13, and then, like, 20 years later when I was 33, and both times were fucking.

[Chris Vega]

I've been seeing him every year since fourth grade. Nice.

[Joe Gorman]

That's awesome. That's.

[Chris Vega]

He is my favorite human being.

[Joe Gorman]

He's amazing. You got to get him on the pod, man.

[Chris Vega]

He would never, ever do this.

[Zach Amico]

He doesn't do a lot of stuff, right?

[Chris Vega]

He does shit with, like, the alt comedy. Like, he'll do, like, Tim and Eric or, like, Comedy Bang Bang.

[Zach Amico]

Okay?

[Chris Vega]

The Reno 911. Like, the state he does a lot of shit with.

[Zach Amico]

Okay?

[Chris Vega]

He actually just did Coachella.

[Joe Gorman]

That's right. He did it with Yo Gabba Gaba.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, he came out with Yo Gabba Gabba. It was Yo Gabba Gabba. David. Fuck.

[Zach Amico]

It was about bringing your cat to the vet. It was Yo Gabapenton.

[Joe Gorman]

David Arquette.

[Chris Vega]

David Arquette as Bozo the Clown. And they had the guy. They did Rainbow Connection, and they had the original singer of it come out.

[Zach Amico]

That's all.

[Chris Vega]

And it was all these characters, and then Weird Al came out with them. It was really cool.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, man, that's awesome.

[Chris Vega]

Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our good friends at Yo Kratom, home of the $60 kilo. That's right, guys. If you do Kratom, don't start doing it on our account. But if you do Kratom, there's only one place on Earth to get it. And that's our great [e-mail] they have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas Digital. They have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor. I said that already. So stop going to bodegas, smoke shops, or gas stations and getting a little bit of kratom at a time. And you don't even know what's in there. When you go to our friends@ Yokratum.com the home of the $60 kilo. There's no promo code needed because it's already the best deal in the world of kratom. Youcratum.com Home of the $60 kilo. All right, so let's go back to these tacos.

[Zach Amico]

The rainbow connection is Zach's belt.

[Chris Vega]

It doesn't exist. Shannon.

[Shannon]

So third place, Jack in the Box. Crunchy tacos.

[Chris Vega]

That's the one we just looked at.

[Shannon]

No, the last one was tiny tacos.

[Joe Gorman]

So it's on there twice.

[Chris Vega]

I mean, the, the ones we looked at. The, the greasy.

[Shannon]

Yes. Yes.

[Chris Vega]

Wow. I can't believe it's that high on it.

[Joe Gorman]

It's so good, man. It's so good.

[Zach Amico]

What else is on there?

[Shannon]

Second place, Taco Bell. Crunchy Taco.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay. The simple, unique one.

[Shannon]

And then first place winner is Taco John's Crispy Taco.

[Joe Gorman]

Taco John.

[Zach Amico]

You called it. There you go.

[Chris Vega]

I didn't. I don't think I've had Taco John.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like a Midwest one. It's. It's Tex Mex, but, like, it's like, I never like. I, I.

[Chris Vega]

All right, so you're telling me there's.

[Zach Amico]

A brothel where you just a taco and leave?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. We in bad at all.

[Chris Vega]

In Canada, you go home to your wife and go, I don't want to taco about it.

[Joe Gorman]

When the Taco Bell was too crowded, we go to Taco John's.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

All right. I did not expect that. But I will say decent list. And there's. There's a chain I Del Taco I like. And there's another one I like when I'm in LA because they do bean burritos. Really good. I can't remember what it is. I'm a big bean burrito boy.

[Joe Gorman]

Bean burritos are great.

[Zach Amico]

Burrito. Yeah. I'll get them from Taco Bell.

[Chris Vega]

Bean and cheese. Big one, I think Much better. So if I don't trust the preparation, I usually Go. I usually go bean over everything.

[Joe Gorman]

It's a safer bet.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, he's talking about preparation, age. He doesn't trust.

[Chris Vega]

I put.

[Zach Amico]

Well, spicy.

[Chris Vega]

No, I use that because of beans.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Chris Vega]

All right. Adult star Riley Reed. Details. Most unattractive thing men do in the bedroom. That always kills the mood.

[Zach Amico]

Forget to tip.

[Joe Gorman]

Please don't say play Fortnite.

[Chris Vega]

I don't know. What do you think this could be? Burp and fart.

[Zach Amico]

I guarantee you it's an aggressive fingering thing.

[Joe Gorman]

I bet it's probably like something like you're on your phone looking at, like, other girls or something.

[Chris Vega]

See, I. I didn't immediately think of the sex thing. I thought it was like clipping your toenails, scratching. I don't know.

[Joe Gorman]

Not letting the dog in the bed.

[Chris Vega]

Most other men do in. It's in the bedroom.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

That always kills the mood. And on the back of the head.

[Joe Gorman]

I bet it's like, refusing to go down.

[Chris Vega]

It's fun. Everybody eats. Puzzles.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Not black guys.

[Chris Vega]

Now that's a fucking. Okay. Thanks, Voss.

[Joe Gorman]

Is that an urban legend?

[Zach Amico]

What is it, 1984?

[Chris Vega]

No. The first black guy to eat pussy was an urban legend.

[Joe Gorman]

Tastes like watermelon.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, they called him the Candy Man. I heard you looking for Candyman, bitch. Black guys don't. Black guys don't. I'm not. I'm not like the brothers. I'll eat the coochie. Black guys don't eat the coochie unless you put hot sauce on it. Sorry. I got. Sorry. I got possessed for a second. I don't. Yeah, but I. I think everybody. If you don't eat in 20. This. This day. This day and age. Yeah. It's kind of in this economy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, where else are you getting eggs for free?

[Chris Vega]

I think. Yeah. I mean, I. That's old. So that's like Soprano.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. It's gay to eat.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then they.

[Chris Vega]

It was.

[Zach Amico]

They were all eating anyway. It was like, don't tell anybody.

[Joe Gorman]

Don't tell no one what you saw.

[Chris Vega]

Eating is the new suck of the trans dick. Dude.

[Zach Amico]

I remember.

[Chris Vega]

We all do it. Come on. That would be so great to do. Sopranos Jr sucking tranny cock.

[Zach Amico]

What do they call it instead of.

[Chris Vega]

A scoonjeal, you blabber mouth. I can hear Jorge laughing from the other room. All right, Shannon, tell us about it, baby girl.

[Shannon]

So she said, quote, I hate it when a guy doesn't brush his teeth. He wants to kiss and he's got some rank ass breath. That really kills the mood.

[Zach Amico]

You have a cum breath. Riley Reese, perpetual cumber lady.

[Chris Vega]

I was gonna put my tongue in your butthole.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

I'm gonna brush my teeth after. What? Are you fucking nuts?

[Joe Gorman]

Brush my teeth again after all this?

[Chris Vega]

Jesus. What are you fucking. Are you crazy? That's like taking a shit after your shower. You fuck up your whole day. Yeah. Oh, Riley Reed, you fool.

[Joe Gorman]

You got a lot of growing up to do, young lady.

[Zach Amico]

Also, that's not like. That's just like. That's just a. Like, I don't know. I was hoping it was like a more of a maneuver situation.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, what's a thing that guys think works that doesn't. Which all women have a different opinion on?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. I can learn a new sex move. I can't brush my teeth.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you could stop doing a thing that somebody doesn't like.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Oh, am I going to the dentist all the time? If I can. If I'm gonna brush my teeth.

[Zach Amico]

That's true.

[Joe Gorman]

Come on, get out of here, man.

[Zach Amico]

You're spending your money. Get your money's worth.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Vega]

Shannon, I feel like you could learn us a thing or two. What? What is something that guys try in the bedroom that you think is not fun but bugs you?

[Shannon]

Oh, boy. I have to remember really far back for this. I guess maybe if they're. What's bothered me is, like, certain types of dirty talk. If they answer the landline, that's what I'm remembering. But it's like. It's like, I think, like, certain types of dirty talk, like, if they're going down a direction that, like, doesn't do it for me and then just takes me out of it, like, I'm gonna kill you.

[Joe Gorman]

They'll never find your body.

[Shannon]

There. I dated a guy who was. I'm embarrassed to say this, but he was partially Puerto Rican.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yikes.

[Shannon]

I'm sorry.

[Chris Vega]

Just partially?

[Shannon]

Yes, partially.

[Chris Vega]

They're working on a cure for that.

[Zach Amico]

You're embarrassed to say that you dated a partial Puerto Rican?

[Shannon]

Yes. Never again. I don't trust them. But he. He, like, really liked the fact that, like, I'm white and wanted me to use racial slurs and stuff.

[Chris Vega]

Try and stop you. I say, yeah.

[Shannon]

And I was just like. That took me out of it. It made me feel uncomfortable.

[Chris Vega]

Wait, what did. Did he want?

[Zach Amico]

I've talked to a bunch of white chicks who said they've hooked up with, like, black guys who want to drop hard Rs.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they're just like, no. Also, now leave.

[Joe Gorman]

I have my.

[Chris Vega]

Hey, that's My tv. Wait, so what, you want to call him a spec? Yeah, that's not that bad. That's.

[Joe Gorman]

That's cute.

[Chris Vega]

I mean, it's not. I. While it is a racial slur, it is not even in the same league as the N word.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's like, slightly above honky in terms of, like, racial slurs and the offense.

[Zach Amico]

I would say it's below all of the Asian slurs.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, sorry. I think gook is a cute little slur for an Asian, though. It's like. It's like, come on. That sounds like a Dr. Seuss character.

[Chris Vega]

Like, Lucy apparently used to call Ricky her spicy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, really? Like, yeah, but it was the 50s.

[Chris Vega]

That was.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that was like.

[Chris Vega]

But like, that is an endearing story. Like, that's almost. He was also, like, fucking every backstage dancer in the world.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Chris Vega]

And she'd be like, where's my spic today? No. And he was like, cheating on her.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

What can you do?

[Chris Vega]

But like, that's almost like. If you found that out about your grandparents, would you be like, my grandmother's a horrible racist?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

But if your grandmother.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she still publicly was married to a Cuban in the 50s. Right.

[Chris Vega]

But if you found out. If you had an interracial grandparents and you found out your grandmother straight up called your grandpa the N word, sometimes that would be a tough sell.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. What was he doing?

[Chris Vega]

Just being real. Sorry. Could not do it. Could not do the bit. Could not do that. Louis Fig, I hate to tell you.

[Zach Amico]

You both went for it.

[Chris Vega]

We both jumped on it, too. Sorry. No, I. But yeah, but then they're also with them, right?

[Joe Gorman]

I don't know. It's. It's. It's. I guess, like, the moral of this is, like, just date within your race so we don't have to have these difficult discussions.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. I think that makes it. Dude, one time I was getting by a black chick and I was like, oh, I love your big black lips. And the second it came out of my mouth, well, boy. Really?

[Zach Amico]

Second it came out of your mouth? It came out of hers.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. It really fucking. It really killed the mood.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

You don't say. My advice, don't say that. Leave. Leave lip and nostril comments out of the bedroom when in an iteration.

[Zach Amico]

What's funny is Zach's penis could fit in her nostrils.

[Chris Vega]

I saw her today and it was. We. I saw her online today, and it was weird because she's a gentleman now and she.

[Zach Amico]

Now she has white girls call her the N word.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. And one of the brothers now yeah, yeah, it was. It was a little. Still, very, you know, very cool person, but they got the most. They almost gave themselves a receding hairline with their haircut.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, yeah, look.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it might just be the extra test. Like, testosterone plays a part in.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, do you. Oh, I didn't even think of that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, in balding. So it might, like. I don't. It wouldn't give you male pattern baldness, but I could see it pushing back your hairline a bit.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that just sometimes happens to ladies also.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Because she's got a straight up, like, Mr. Jefferson hairline.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, it starts like.

[Joe Gorman]

That's got to be the testosterone.

[Chris Vega]

All right. That was. Testosterone was her uncle's name.

[Zach Amico]

I literally somehow just found out that dude was gay.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, yeah, me too. I didn't know that either. I had no idea Sherman Helmsley was gay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I had no idea.

[Chris Vega]

Which, by the way, I'm talking about.

[Zach Amico]

I watched the Jeffersons. I watched Amen. I watched everything that was in no clue.

[Chris Vega]

He was in Amen. He. It makes it so much funnier now that he was Whoopi when Howard Stern was Ted dancing in blackface.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's true.

[Chris Vega]

It never occurred to me that he was gay and playing a woman.

[Zach Amico]

Never. Never once. Fool me.

[Chris Vega]

Joe, you've seen that, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, the Ted dancing blackface thing.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I'm. He is. With the whooping.

[Joe Gorman]

That's all. Yeah, that was. And like. And then, like, Whoopi was like. It's all good. Yeah, he's my honky.

[Chris Vega]

All right.

[Joe Gorman]

That's how it works.

[Chris Vega]

You is a filthy.

[Joe Gorman]

Smelly.

[Chris Vega]

So what's the difference?

[Zach Amico]

Well, Ted Danson did say the end.

[Joe Gorman]

He did this way.

[Chris Vega]

No, no, no.

[Joe Gorman]

What's wrong with you? This here routine is showing people that we is not afraid to confront our racial stereotypes. Looky here. We is a nation of racists, and.

[Chris Vega]

We must break through that barrier that.

[Joe Gorman]

We done constructed for ourselves.

[Chris Vega]

Can't you see that the lawn jockey in the top is really funny? That's wild.

[Zach Amico]

It's a great background. Is that.

[Chris Vega]

And he's got a 40.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Is that Harriet Tubman or Aunt Jemima on the left? That's. That's a racist question to ask.

[Zach Amico]

No, I think that's very different, people.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that's definitely.

[Zach Amico]

Also. Is that, like, in the background?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah, the mammy.

[Chris Vega]

I. I prefer Harriet Tubman's daughter. Harriet Tub Girl.

[Joe Gorman]

Hell, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

That is. Dude, it's crazy that Howard Stern is who he is now.

[Joe Gorman]

It's so he completely different.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, like that. That is just that Googleable.

[Zach Amico]

How?

[Joe Gorman]

How? You know how? Just boundary pushing. He was like, whoopi Goldberg did the.

[Zach Amico]

Actual thing, and she's on the View chastising everyone.

[Chris Vega]

That's true, man.

[Joe Gorman]

It sucks, man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. It was a different time, I guess.

[Chris Vega]

So let's see this guy face playing a Coachella Shannon.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no.

[Chris Vega]

All right, before we watch it again, who is this man and what did he used to do?

[Shannon]

I don't know how to say his name. I'm going to sound really stupid because I don't know what young people.

[Chris Vega]

The Forvid.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna share it.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, it's this D4VD.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

I would say deforvid.

[Shannon]

It's not like David just spelled weird.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, it's definitely David spelled weird.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

I would call him. I mean, come on.

[Joe Gorman]

More like ouch. Chella. Damn, dude. Nobel Prize winner right there.

[Chris Vega]

He hit his head louder than the music.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that was bad.

[Zach Amico]

Was he trying to do a back.

[Chris Vega]

He's trying to do a backflip.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he probably has. I don't imagine that's the first time he tried to do a backflip. I mean, he might have been on enough drugs to be like, I could do a backflip.

[Joe Gorman]

Totally do. It's all about momentum.

[Chris Vega]

Can we watch that frame by, like, just give us a little fast forward action.

[Zach Amico]

Look, his foot.

[Chris Vega]

Let's see. Let's see where it goes bad.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, his foot slips. You can see it clearly. It's his right foot slips. And that's it. It's a.

[Chris Vega]

Okay. So confidence, confidence. Look at. Dude, I'm about to do a backflip at Coachella.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna throw this in right.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, right there.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He misses it. Oh, he started. Okay. He started too early.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh. At least his hands kind of broke some fall.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, at least his skull broke most of his fall.

[Zach Amico]

See, like, look. All right, look right there. Doesn't it look like there's water on the floor? I think he may have slipped and still tried to hit it.

[Chris Vega]

Hmm.

[Zach Amico]

And just fucked up. It sucks for that guy. Did he finish the set?

[Joe Gorman]

He got to finish the set.

[Shannon]

He didn't. He was fine. No injuries. He just, like, laughed it off after.

[Joe Gorman]

That's what you kind of. Oh, he's young.

[Zach Amico]

What's funny is the voice track probably kept going.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

For a good 20 seconds while people were worried if he was okay.

[Chris Vega]

That's got to be. You can't take that false sober and get up right or is he young enough that maybe he's.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think there's the you thing on. That guy's probably, what, 23 or something? Yeah, like, when I was 23, you, like, I remember. I mean, whatever. Not sober, but I had a friend fall out of a tree on shrooms and just get up.

[Joe Gorman]

You just like.

[Zach Amico]

He just tumbled out of, like, you know that big tree that has a gate around it in Prospect Park. He just like. We're sitting in there and he just, like, zoned out and just tumbled right out of the tree and just got up as if he was start. Like a cat falling, like, rolling out. It was crazy.

[Chris Vega]

Well, I don't know why you would see that video and tell a story about somebody falling out of a tree, but.

[Zach Amico]

I was a grease bomb, to be fair.

[Chris Vega]

So, Shannon, after that, he went to the doctor, and the doctor said, next story. We're gonna end it with this one. Police searching for man who allegedly sexually abused corpse on New York subway with a clip. And I believe not only did this guy fuck a corpse, someone else then robbed it.

[Joe Gorman]

Geez.

[Zach Amico]

This corpse just happened to be laying there?

[Joe Gorman]

Yes. That's gotta be. What?

[Chris Vega]

No, it was fucking dancing. I don't know if he money.

[Zach Amico]

I thought maybe he brought it in and then just like, showtime. Yes. To be fair, I would tip a guy fucking a corpse. Yeah, like, I'd be like, no, you don't do it that way. You gotta live with your back. What are you doing? It's all dead weight.

[Chris Vega]

Let's. Let's tell us about it, Shannon.

[Shannon]

Okay, so at about 12:20am on, on Wednesday, an unidentified individual had sexual contact with an unconscious and unresponsive adult male. He also did steal some stuff off of this dead guy. We don't know exactly what he took.

[Zach Amico]

But the same guy and robbed him.

[Shannon]

Yes, but the same Sam Kinison joke. About an hour and a half earlier, at about 10:48pm on Tuesday, police said a woman approached the man and removed a piece of property from him and left. So he was robbed twice in a couple of hours and then sexually assaulted by this dude.

[Zach Amico]

Wait a second. I think those times were wrong. You said 10:48, she robbed him before he got fucked.

[Shannon]

Yes. 10:48pm on Tuesday was when she just stole something from him. And then at 12, something in the morning on Wednesday is when the guy.

[Zach Amico]

What station was this at?

[Shannon]

Hold on. It does say it one second.

[Chris Vega]

Was it on the train or in the station?

[Shannon]

So, the southbound R train near Whitehall Street.

[Chris Vega]

Wow. That was Ferry wait on the train.

[Shannon]

Or in the station, I believe is on the train. It says on a southbound R train, by the way.

[Chris Vega]

That's like the middle of that route.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. Cuz the. Unless there's a. Yeah, unless it's stopping for some reason. That is.

[Chris Vega]

That's right. Dead in the middle.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

That means this guy took mo.

[Zach Amico]

He was probably still warm in the middle by the time they got to him, though.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. All right, so when it says sexual contact. That could be. They jerked off on him.

[Shannon]

He actually. It said he had sexual intercourse.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Shannon]

With the body.

[Chris Vega]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

Is there a picture of the suspect?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I actually have a. The Crime Stoppers video of him just like walking off the train. So I can show you that.

[Joe Gorman]

Buttoning up his pants.

[Zach Amico]

He looks like a partial Puerto Rican.

[Shannon]

Shannon, you date this guy, he's 51 years old, Carlos something or other.

[Joe Gorman]

And the Blur guy, is that the one who's dead?

[Shannon]

I don't know. I also have a picture of the chick. So the other person who robbed him. Can you just click away for a second?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I bet that that was a video from earlier. Like, you know what I mean? I bet they didn't show the corpse in that.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, no, I doubt that.

[Shannon]

So that. This is the chick. By the way, they're wearing almost the same outfit.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Why are you both wearing yellow?

[Shannon]

Is that a Latin Kings thing? Is that like a.

[Zach Amico]

That is not a. I mean, like. I mean, are there still Latin Kings? I don't know. It's not the nineties. I mean, whatever. It's just not.

[Chris Vega]

I can't believe P.D. d'Abra would do this.

[Shannon]

It does look like him.

[Zach Amico]

It does not look that much like him at all. Jesus, I. Oh, man.

[Chris Vega]

Joey, are we saying this guy, the dead body in the ass, has to.

[Shannon]

Yes, it says. Well, I mean, I think it says sexual intercourse.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think they're getting that technical.

[Joe Gorman]

You can't get like the suction in the mouth.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the thing. I think if there's a. Yeah, but where there's.

[Chris Vega]

There's a. If you're a dead body, Joe, I bet you're pretty close to coming as it is.

[Joe Gorman]

I guess so, man.

[Chris Vega]

I bet you're pretty pent up.

[Zach Amico]

All right, I'm just going to throw this out there.

[Chris Vega]

This is, by the way, this is what this show is for good is a deep analysis of what could have happened of corpse. By the way, public transfer.

[Zach Amico]

The fact that nobody's leaked the video from the mtv.

[Chris Vega]

The fact that the body didn't leak.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. But I would say, I don't think you're pantsing a dead body, because also I'm gonna. That guy looks like he might be. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna use the word superstitious, even though it's not correct. And he might have assumed that this dead body had vacated its bowels. And just you go for the mouth at that point. And then he texted Riley Reid is like, terrible breath.

[Joe Gorman]

I hate that.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I too think it might be now. Do you think he was like, wow, this guy fell asleep with his mouth open.

[Zach Amico]

We really need to get a whiteboard in here for stuff like that.

[Chris Vega]

Yes. Do you think let's devil's advocate John.

[Zach Amico]

Leguizamo and his chalkboard in his bitch.

[Chris Vega]

Do you think this guy was like, oh, this guy fell asleep with his mouth open? I'm going to.

[Zach Amico]

I, I would be.

[Chris Vega]

Knew he was dead.

[Zach Amico]

That's why I don't think he pantsed and raped him. That's why I think it was probably that. Because I think it was probably just like, oh, this guy sleeping. Let me see if I can get my dick in his mouth.

[Chris Vega]

That's what I would assume. And now I bet.

[Zach Amico]

And I bet he was just like, well, let's see. You know, I don't even know. I bet, like, he wasn't like, I'm a fuck this dead body. I bet he was like, you know, be really funny. I hear all these white boys saying, it's really funny to stick my dick in a guy's sleeping mouth. In this guy's mouth.

[Chris Vega]

And then he walked off the train like, teehee. And then he saw the news the next morning and went, they got cameras on the train. Yeah. And then found out he is sexually assaulted a corpse on camera and went, ruh ro.

[Zach Amico]

He started playing a steel drum, hoping it came back to life.

[Chris Vega]

I would have to say my thoughts are exactly that. He's like, I'm gonna put my thing in the sleeping guys.

[Zach Amico]

This is gonna be hilarious.

[Chris Vega]

And now found out he is a four life corpse. You can't undo that one.

[Joe Gorman]

No, you can't. You can't rebrand that.

[Zach Amico]

You can't defuck a corpse.

[Joe Gorman]

This isn't Howard Stern doing blackface. This is like permanent.

[Chris Vega]

That's a. That's a whoopsie. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And like, if. If that person does come back to life in some sort of Frankenstein situation, you're still a corpse.

[Chris Vega]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Right. It's not like how when that lady turned into a dude now you're gay?

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I was anyway. But yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

So this is when I remember being a kid, my friend Keith told me this joke that like something that his stepfather told him was like, you could walk down fifth Avenue and save New York City from a dragon. Cut its head off, hold it over your head. But if you got blown by a dude that night and people found out you're still the cocksucker that killed a dragon.

[Zach Amico]

Would you suck that dragon's cock to death?

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. And I think that it's an. It's an undoable thing. Did what. Did they. They say what they stole? Did they sound like a person died?

[Shannon]

No, don't know that yet. I think we. I think if we keep following this, we'll eventually find the video. I think eventually it's gonna make its way to the Internet. But it said that it was an undisclosed item, were removed from the corpse.

[Chris Vega]

By the way, this is the most New York story.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, this is even more than like that corpse on fire on the train, man. Like, the only way, by the way.

[Chris Vega]

If you got balls, you're going to fuck the fire.

[Zach Amico]

The only way this would be a more of a New York story is if somebody fucked the corpse of pizza rat.

[Chris Vega]

So for people who don't live in New York, every once in a while you will be going to take the train and there will be a pack train with one empty car.

[Zach Amico]

Not every once in a while now, it's all the time.

[Chris Vega]

Okay, well, back in the pre pandemic and your first instinct for many years is to go, awesome, empty car. And then you get on and usually there's a person laying down out of view from the outside of the train who what I can only describe as smells like death.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes.

[Chris Vega]

And that is the reason that car is empty, is empty. And it's not like a poop smell.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's a. Haven't bathed in. There used to be a guy who would unwrap his feet on the Q train. He had his feet in what looked like, like, you know, those big like bear slippers like Mickey Rourke had with cellophane. And he would unwrap them and clip his toenails on the Q train. And he smelled pretty bad. But then when that cellophane came off, it was like a smell like you did not understand. And he was really kind of a dick about it. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, he was. They're never nice. They're never like, sorry, I know it's probably ruining your dad.

[Chris Vega]

So I understand. People could be like, how could there be a dead body on the train? But it's just like. You don't get it.

[Zach Amico]

Like, yeah, there just can be also. Just people sleeping on the train.

[Chris Vega]

Somebody could be. There's a good chance. We have taken the train with many dead people, and they just were laying down and people were avoiding them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Because unless something like this happens, you never find out about. Unless, like, the person who discovers it.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Unless you fuck their mouth and see yourself on the news the next day.

[Joe Gorman]

Put your dick in them, hoping they wake up. It's like, I'm just testing.

[Zach Amico]

Well, there was the guy who died on 34th Street. If they're on the train for a very long time or in a subway station, like, so there was a guy who died on 34th street, and they were like, oh, he had been dead for nine hours.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah, yeah. He was like, on the bench, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then that made the news. But I think it was like, what? The person who found them contacted the Post. Like, it wasn't like. It wasn't like the. The cops don't tell you when this happens. That's why you never hear about space cases or that's why they don't publicize bank robberies. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, there's certain things where you go get better off not knowing this.

[Chris Vega]

Like, go ahead.

[Joe Gorman]

I didn't say it.

[Chris Vega]

Okay. 100%. I will say one of the best dates I've ever been on. And I actually feel bad because they.

[Zach Amico]

Didn'T talk at all.

[Chris Vega]

No, it was going home on the train with a girl. And we get on the empty car and we realized, smell of death, homeless person. And God bless his bitch, she goes, let's see how many stops we can go now.

[Zach Amico]

Zach's farting.

[Chris Vega]

No.

[Zach Amico]

He's like, thank God I've been holding this in all night.

[Chris Vega]

So we sit down on the train, but then we made it a game to start blaming the other one every time we stopped. And people would get on because you couldn't see the guy. You have to turn to the right. So it's like, people would get on. I would go, jesus Christ, what did you do? And then it turned into, I would sit on the tree, and as people would get on, I would just go, I'm sorry. All right, I think we're about to wrap this up. Shannon, did we get to everything? I think we did. Yes, we did. Ladies and gentlemen, that was the test episode of Zac Abico's Morning Zoo. We're going to do this every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Friday being an exclusive episode for subscribers only. Once again, use that promo code zoo to subscribe, but if you're watching on YouTube, Spotify, however you consume it, thank you so much for giving us a shot. And hey, this is really fun. Thank you so much. My guests, Joe Gorman, Chris Vega. Please listen to Super Sally Joe's High Society Radio Notes of a Goon. And hey, see you on Wednesday morning. Time to him Papa Baco. Chug it down just like the favorite obese clown. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Acamiko morning suit. It's a Miko morning.