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Zack Amico
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Drew
You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.
Zack Amico
Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play. Jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep. Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's a Miko Whoa whoa. Morning too. Woohoo.
Matty Smith
Wake up, wake up, wake.
Zack Amico
That's right, feeling good on a Wednesday, it's your boy, the international superstar Zack Amico hosting Zach Amico's morning zoo here bright and early on the Gas Digital Network. If you're just tuning in for the first time, we love you. Thank you. We are on a wonderful platform called gas digital.com and if you use the promo code Zoo you can join up and get $1.50 off a month episodes early ad free and uncensored and access to our Friday live show as well. Plus the archives of all the great real ads, podcasts, Lewis and Zach's and all the phenomenal shows here on Gas Digital. I am joined by two wonderful people for a very silly morning time radio show across the table from me. From here on Gas Digital, the Madhouse podcast, it's our buddy Matty Smith.
Matty Smith
Hey Zach, what's going on? Thanks for having me.
Zack Amico
How you doing?
Matty Smith
I like your intro song.
Zack Amico
Thank you. Cute as I love it. I know it's so silly.
Matty Smith
Part of it looks like Saved by the Bell.
Zack Amico
That's what I wanted. I let's go. That was I said Saved by the Bell and Malcolm in the Middle were my two notes and from Durag and the deer tag as well as Digital Bazooka. It's true Montana.
Drew
Hey guys, thanks for Having me. Zach, Maddie stole everything. I was just gonna say, but I'm very happy for you as well.
Matty Smith
Like your intro song.
Drew
I was thinking it, dude. I was like smiling over here, dancing to the song.
Matty Smith
He was like on his phone. I was, I was like, wow, this is really good. Drew was like, when does this end?
Drew
No, no, no. I'm so pumped to be here. I'm drinking Joe's. We're talking hot Joe's.
Zack Amico
It's gonna be a great day. Let's have a lot of fun. So, big news. It's finally happened. The Nickelodeon to porn pipeline has given us the Amanda Bynes onlyfans. Really?
Matty Smith
She started only fans.
Zack Amico
Amanda Bynes with catch Shannon. Tell us about it.
Shannon
So the catch is she is not doing anything smutty. She is only going to do it to interact with her fans.
Drew
Boo.
Matty Smith
Which means slippery slope.
Zack Amico
She will be doing something slutty.
Matty Smith
Absolutely.
Zack Amico
In the next six months.
Matty Smith
Absolutely. Yeah. It starts like this and then you realize, you know, I could make more. Then you pop a foot.
Drew
That's where I'm at right now. I'm about to drop my first foot pick.
Matty Smith
Yeah, you should.
Drew
Yeah, I was thinking about it. I took one yesterday. It didn't look great though.
Matty Smith
You get different angles. Dress it up a little bit, paint the toenails.
Drew
Oh, maybe I'll do that.
Zack Amico
You probably ask the sensei. You can ask master Splinter back home. How to sell yourself.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
So, yeah, it's like the thing they say, like, what's the difference between a waitress at a strip club and a stripper?
Drew
Right.
Zack Amico
Three months.
Matty Smith
Hilarious.
Zack Amico
What's the difference between a stripper and a hooker? $500. Yeah, I think it's a long nose.
Matty Smith
Agreed. She's going to pop in there comments. She'll be in there late at night, she'll say, let's make the switch. Yeah, let's start posting some shit.
Drew
I'm surprised she went face tat and then pussy pics. It's usually the other way around.
Matty Smith
Right. If you see a face tat, you think she has pussy pics, right?
Zack Amico
Yeah, 100%. Like spread.
Matty Smith
Yeah, yeah.
Zack Amico
Pink.
Matty Smith
But she looks good. She looks better. Her eyebrows are there.
Zack Amico
She looks better. Is definitely.
Matty Smith
She had no eyebrows for a second.
Drew
She's a little bit my type now. Yeah. Or back then both.
Matty Smith
But now, Now, Yeah, now it's like, you know, philly, I'm back. What's up?
Zack Amico
Yeah, I have, I have weird feelings about I. One of my first gigs ever, I was. I used to do commercials when I was a Little kid.
Matty Smith
Really?
Zack Amico
I did something for the Amanda Bynes show.
Matty Smith
I didn't know that about you. That's awesome.
Zack Amico
Yeah, me and Tim Dillon.
Matty Smith
Really?
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Matty Smith
You guys were in it together?
Zack Amico
No, we both had a similar trajectory.
Matty Smith
And what was your commercial?
Zack Amico
Well, it was actually a live event. They did. It was at the Waldorf Astoria.
Matty Smith
Y.
Zack Amico
It was for.
Drew
Waldorf Astoria is a funny name.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Did I get that right?
Matty Smith
Yeah. It used to be, like, the best hotel. Is it still open?
Zack Amico
I don't know.
Drew
But that's where, like, a scientist.
Zack Amico
And it was a trade show for all the investors. And I did the thing for the Amanda show.
Matty Smith
Was it Amanda Bynes fake? Like a fake commercial?
Zack Amico
No, no, it was. That was like, a live event. But then I did other Nickelodeon stuff.
Matty Smith
Cool.
Zack Amico
And I'm pretty sure that Schneider was there. Dan Schneider was there. And then later in life, I got a job as a security guard for movie screenings, test screenings, and I worked for Harvey Weinstein, and I had to do something for Harvey Weinstein one day. So I have worked for Dan Schneider and Harvey Weinstein, and I just can't get raped in this motherfucker.
Matty Smith
He came out unscathed, unraped.
Zack Amico
A dude with not a scratch on. Not a fuck. Pristine.
Matty Smith
Not even an eyeball.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Matty Smith
Harvey Weinstein's on trial now, too.
Zack Amico
Yeah, Harvdog.
Matty Smith
He's back in there.
Zack Amico
He was back on trial.
Drew
He was also a foot guy, right?
Zack Amico
No, he was.
Matty Smith
I think everything's like a rape guy.
Zack Amico
I think you think of the Tarantino with the.
Matty Smith
Yes, that's what it is.
Drew
And Schneider was a big foot guy.
Matty Smith
Foot guy.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
They said.
Drew
Is that true, that his pool is shaped like a.
Matty Smith
That's what I was just gonna say.
Zack Amico
I think so. But that was also the Nickelodeon logo.
Matty Smith
Right, but why was it the logo?
Zack Amico
Oh, I agree. Because he would tweet, like, the shows he worked on would be like, silly feet Friday. Post a picture of your silliest feet.
Matty Smith
Yeah, look. Wow. See, I'd be in that big toe right there.
Zack Amico
I want the little toe that. That looks.
Drew
Like you fit nice in that little toe.
Matty Smith
There's so many.
Zack Amico
I can bathe in there.
Matty Smith
That's cute. There's so many, like, Ariana Grande feet, toes.
Zack Amico
Yeah. I'm super, you know, super in. You got a lot. Listen, you asked me, hashtag restore the Schneider verse, baby.
Matty Smith
Listen, I had. When I was growing up, I was watching Amanda show all those other.
Zack Amico
You know, who hasn't had Carly? You know, you know, who hasn't had dick to say about Dan Schneider.
Matty Smith
Keenan, Ariana.
Drew
Oh, yeah, yeah, true.
Zack Amico
Keenan signed whatever cabal.
Matty Smith
He wasn't in that documentary.
Zack Amico
He ain't talking that. That motherfucker is busy getting paid. Oh, yeah, he don't give a.
Matty Smith
He's keeping his bag.
Drew
Dude, we. Damn. I shouldn't release this, but I'll say it. But we called. So I was doing Digital Bazooka a couple weeks ago, and we had Naim on, and I didn't have, like, any ideas for calls, and I texted one of my friends who's a just like a fan of the show, and I knew he'd be watching the live stream, and I was like, yo, I'm gonna call. I know he does voices, too. And I was like, I'm gonna call you in 30 minutes. Pretend to be Kenan Thompson. I'm gonna get Naim to call you. And then it ended up being James that called him. But it was like the worst Kenan Thompson impression I've ever heard. And to this day, Naim and James Moth, they both believe that they were talking to Kenan Thompson.
Matty Smith
Oh, my God.
Drew
They accused him or. No, they said they snatched his chain. They were like, keenan, we snatched your chain like, 20 years ago. And my boy, Pike Von Doom, that answered the call and pretended to be Keenan, he was like, motherfucker, is this Paul Rudd? Paul Rudd. Stop playing on my phone. And now James, to this day, thinks he sounds like Paul Ruddy. Now, I've been keeping this quiet.
Zack Amico
Was it Keenan who was behind Chris Redd getting.
Matty Smith
I don't know if it was ever confirmed.
Drew
Oh, because he was his wife. Yeah.
Matty Smith
It's a strong rumor.
Zack Amico
With a strong rumor that because somebody just walked up. You probably. They said somebody just walked by Chris right up in front of the salary. Right.
Matty Smith
Knuckles. Yeah, nice. Chris Redson. Chris Wright's a nice guy.
Zack Amico
Yeah, no, he's a very nice guy.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
Oh, can you put a hit on him?
Matty Smith
Yeah, some sort of banging baby mama.
Drew
That's crazy.
Matty Smith
The baby mama.
Zack Amico
It's pretty baller.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
It's pretty baller to think that the Keaton's got that in them.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
I mean, what's Cal up to now?
Matty Smith
He was in the document.
Drew
In the face.
Zack Amico
Yeah, he was in the dock.
Matty Smith
He was in the dock. He was. They did a Good Burger remake.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Drew
Nice.
Zack Amico
With everyone but Dan Schneider.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Very disappointing.
Matty Smith
Is key. And Keenan, Is he in there?
Zack Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's a full. They. They reunited.
Matty Smith
I feel like I auditioned for that.
Drew
For a Good Burger.
Matty Smith
I think so. Yeah.
Drew
I Don't know why I'm laughing. I wish I got it.
Matty Smith
I just embarrassing not getting it. You're like, wow.
Zack Amico
I stalked the set because I heard they were, they were. They were burgers.
Drew
All right. For different reasons. Zach was there.
Zack Amico
Yeah. I, I, we have a lot to. We have a lot of stuff. We might have to save some of this for next week. I was telling Drew about this in the lobby. I saw a clip today that really made me laugh, and it is the emerging hood accent of Toronto. Okay, so this is Canadian hood speak.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
And this chip, by the way, this chick is a. This chick.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
What way? These here? And what I don't like is if.
Matty Smith
The business is true that you left your moms in the hood. Somebody go smoke that.
Drew
You.
Matty Smith
You don't leave your moms nowhere. You have money and you left your moms there. Yo, you're a sick to my stomach fam. But if it's not true, Shorty's just talking. I love it.
Drew
She's so hot. And her voice stinks so bad.
Matty Smith
I like it. It's very hypnotizing for me.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
I love the Canadian. And then you add that hood to it.
Zack Amico
It's so weird, right? It's got the French.
Matty Smith
Yeah. And Canadians are always saying, like, oh, you got your microphone there. And so she's like, you got your microphone. Yeah.
Drew
It sounded like 30 different things at the same time.
Matty Smith
Yeah, yeah.
Zack Amico
Because she looks like bad baby a little bit.
Matty Smith
Yeah, she does.
Zack Amico
So. And we all know I'm a pretty big bad baby guy.
Matty Smith
Well, did you see the recent of bad baby this week?
Drew
What happened to her this week?
Matty Smith
She opened up about some childhood things.
Zack Amico
She said she was sleeping with her bodyguard.
Matty Smith
Yeah, well, he was sleeping with her.
Zack Amico
They were engaged in lovemaking when she was a youngin.
Matty Smith
Yeah. And she said she was, like, molested from, like, age like four or something.
Zack Amico
Yeah. Well, that's how you make that.
Matty Smith
Yeah, I know.
Zack Amico
That's the recipe for that.
Drew
That baby is so hot. I love a girl that looks like.
Zack Amico
Was she molested or was she just being punished for being such a bad baby?
Matty Smith
Exactly. That's right. You've been a bad baby.
Zack Amico
She's been a very bad baby.
Matty Smith
You know, I'm going to touch your parts.
Drew
She deserved it.
Matty Smith
She's hot. Yeah. I love anyone who's like, looks like they're from the hood and they, like, eat a bunch of food, but they're still skinny. Yeah, skinny.
Drew
Would you think about her and Alabama's beef? Did you follow that?
Matty Smith
I don't know what's much about that. What was that?
Drew
Travis Barker's daughter.
Matty Smith
Right.
Drew
And her were making this songs back and forth.
Matty Smith
Right, right.
Drew
But yeah, it seemed pretty. It was just like baby mom, baby dad stuff.
Zack Amico
She doesn't like her to taste like Takis.
Drew
Yeah, yeah. Bad baby. I believe one she bodied her. That's what the streets are saying.
Matty Smith
Yeah, I've heard negative things about Alabama Barker. Yeah, she weirdo.
Drew
I don't know her, but yeah, she's like a 19 year old slut that smokes a lot of vapes. She like overdosed on vapes and almost died.
Matty Smith
Oh, wow. That's crazy.
Zack Amico
Who'd have thunk she had to go.
Drew
To the hospital from vape poisoning.
Zack Amico
Can we hear the hood, the Toronto hood one more time? It's oddly soothing the morning.
Matty Smith
Yeah, I think it is.
Zack Amico
It becomes a song.
Shannon
At some point I'm gonna play it. But then also I found her Instagram. Yes, I'll play this game.
Matty Smith
And what I don't like is if the business is true that you left your mom's in the hood. Somebody go smoke that you. You don't leave your mom's nowhere. You have money and you left your mom's there. Yo, you're sick to my stomach, fam.
Drew
But if it's not true, she's talking to Zach on the other side of the camera.
Zack Amico
Yeah, yeah, you're. Yes, I do love that she gets the phrase wrong.
Matty Smith
I. You're sick to my stomach.
Zack Amico
You're sick to my stomach.
Matty Smith
You are. I want to see her in trailer park. Boys.
Drew
You got to get her on.
Zack Amico
You know what? That's what it reminds me of. Letter Kenny.
Matty Smith
Yeah, absolutely.
Zack Amico
That's what it reminds me of. Shannon, you have her Instagram.
Shannon
Yeah. So here's just one of her reels where she's talking.
Matty Smith
Wake up every day, fam. With the intention that I can't be a buck tea. I can't end up on the streets or living in my whip, fam. I have to get up. I have to take care of my people, Dems cuz there's people relying on me. If I was gone, it would go poof. The dream would go poof. The life will go poof. Splizzies wouldn't be smoked. So true. You must get up. You must smoke that splizzy. You must conquer the day. You must walk down the block. You must feel the block. Then you must get to your grind. And after you make your money, that's.
Zack Amico
When you can sleep.
Matty Smith
You can't sleep no Sleep.
Zack Amico
You gotta grab the moose by the.
Matty Smith
Horns and pour that syrup on the pancake. She kinda has a native American vibe.
Zack Amico
Yeah, I hear that.
Matty Smith
A little Canadian.
Drew
Yeah, yeah. Native. I like her. The more I see from her. I'm in love.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Yeah. Is this. Is this. Is this the next conquest?
Drew
Yes. Yeah. This lady, dude, I was trying to get, you know, jb Fight hoes. Yeah, that's who I was on to.
Matty Smith
For a little bit. That's a name.
Drew
Yeah. She got pregnant. Yeah.
Matty Smith
Fight hoes.
Drew
Jb. Fight hoes.
Matty Smith
And what is her like? She's an Instagram baddie.
Drew
Not really, but she fights girls on Instagram all the time.
Matty Smith
Yeah, but fight hoes, like.
Drew
Yeah, yeah. She calls bitches out and fights them.
Matty Smith
I thought you meant hoes. Like a fire hose.
Drew
Yeah. This lady.
Zack Amico
Yeah. That really is your style, huh?
Drew
Something about this girl. I love her.
Zack Amico
Good for you. All right, we got another silly story. Foster mom is charged with abuse as authorities investigate whether a girl was traded for a monkey.
Drew
Possibly a fair trade. Yeah, I gotta see the girl.
Zack Amico
Yeah, I want to see.
Drew
It could be a fair trade.
Zack Amico
I want to see.
Matty Smith
I'll be taking a monkey.
Zack Amico
Shannon. What do we got, baby?
Shannon
No pictures. And they haven't released the foster mom's image either because they don't want to reveal the identity of the child.
Zack Amico
Is there a photo of the monkey?
Shannon
No.
Drew
No, I guess I didn't consider it was a child, but yeah, it's also.
Shannon
I think she's a teen. I just don't know. Like what? Like what range of teen?
Zack Amico
From what I've gathered from this, the. The mom collects ex animals and possibly traded one of her own human children, well, for a monkey. Is that correct?
Matty Smith
Say, fostering.
Shannon
I don't know that the mom currently has any exotic pets, but the woman that she went to stay with. So like, this little girl went to go stay with another person who was. Who she traded her for monkey for. And then that woman had a whole bunch of exotic animals.
Zack Amico
Okay.
Shannon
And then this woman, the woman who like, traded her, she's 70 years old and she's had over 200 foster kids. Foster kids over the past 10 years.
Drew
I mean, if you're on your 200th kid and you get offered a monkey, you know what I mean? You're 70. You got to go out with a bang.
Matty Smith
Absolutely.
Drew
Get the monkey.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
Let's party.
Matty Smith
Yeah. The foster system, they're not even going to find out, right? So shady.
Zack Amico
I mean, technically, she just adopted a monkey. Yeah, I gave away probably her least Fun kid.
Matty Smith
Okay. The kid was probably a problem.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Matty Smith
Annoying. Out late.
Drew
Monkeys are cool.
Matty Smith
Monkeys are cool. They.
Zack Amico
You can you get Monkey Helper? Yeah, they're doing that do Righteous Gemstones has a monkey helper.
Drew
Very funny.
Matty Smith
Really?
Zack Amico
Yeah. Have you ever seen Monkey Shines?
Drew
No.
Matty Smith
No.
Zack Amico
It's a horror movie about a helper monkey.
Drew
Okay.
Zack Amico
That. That becomes jealous. He doesn't want. Doesn't want his wheelchair man to hang out with.
Matty Smith
Oh.
Zack Amico
The monkey starts making sure no come around.
Drew
Is that a real thing? Helper monkeys?
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Drew
Damn. I just thought those in gemstones. My grandma used to have a pet spider monkey when I was like really young. It bit my brother.
Matty Smith
Really?
Drew
Yeah. They had to like put it down after. His name was Frankenberry because that's all they fed him was just Frankenberry cereals. He was a psycho.
Matty Smith
Was he big? How big are those?
Drew
This was like. He had long arms, but he was like little guy.
Zack Amico
I feel like there's another comic whose grandma had a monkey.
Drew
Grandma Paul had a spider monkey. Yeah.
Zack Amico
Did it throw shit?
Drew
No, no. He just.
Zack Amico
Some other comic has a story about having somebody had a monkey and it just. You weren't allowed near it because it would throw shit at you.
Matty Smith
Probably a black comedian.
Zack Amico
Well, that's. I don't want to. I don't want to assume. No, there was. I got. I'll remember whose bit that was. Whatever.
Drew
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Matty Smith
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Drew
Required intro rate first 3 months only.
Matty Smith
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Zack Amico
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Drew
Bill credits end if you pay UP.
Zack Amico
Devices early ct mobile.com this is. We're going deep into conspiracy. Zach here and I apologize if this is too nuts. Cut me off, please.
Drew
This is where I thrive, brother.
Zack Amico
So there is a shortwave radio station that's been going since the Cold War in silent, just static.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Zack Amico
And it let out four words in 24 hours.
Matty Smith
What were they?
Zack Amico
And I have. We have it here and people trying to break it down and they don't know if they are catching military operations being planned in Russia or where the signals coming from. But people have theories and apparently there's been no chatter on this station. So that means people have.
Matty Smith
They're tuned in like someone.
Zack Amico
Somebody's had it.
Matty Smith
Yeah, playing it.
Zack Amico
So, Shannon, can you give us a little info on this?
Matty Smith
Suck my little cock.
Shannon
Yeah, so I looked it up and it said that the official purpose of this, like frequency or radio station, whatever, has never actually officially been confirmed. Theory suggests that it could be military communication or it could just be psychological operation. Tools to create confusion, which is what they're saying. This could possibly be. The words that were said were Neptune, thymus, folks, Fox, cloak and new taboo.
Drew
Oh, we're fucked.
Matty Smith
That's code.
Drew
We're fucked.
Matty Smith
That's code for destroy America.
Zack Amico
Well, there is.
Drew
Somebody just got unlocked.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
There are people that think that those words mean they have specific meanings.
Shannon
Yeah, I have. I have some of the interpretations here. So for Neptune, it says could reference naval operations, especially considering Ukraine's Neptune anti ship missile and recent maritime tensions.
Zack Amico
And they were. It wasn't those words. It was those words spelt out in military. So like. Like B is. It's whatever the. Like, you know how we have the military Alphabet?
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
Yes.
Zack Amico
In Russia, I think it's like. I think B is like Boris.
Matty Smith
Okay. Yep.
Zack Amico
But. So they were right, Sharon. They were spelt out.
Matty Smith
Yes, Got it.
Shannon
The next one was thymus. And it says might symbolize internal defense mechanisms, drawing parallels to the thymus gland's role in the immune system. Fox cloak evokes imagery of stealth and espionage, potentially alluding to covert operations. And nutibu appears to be nonsensical or fabricated term, possibly serving as a test word or deliberate obfuscation.
Drew
It's also Naim's daughter's name. Natubu.
Zack Amico
Ntubus. Shut off Tubi. NTBU's on Tubi again.
Matty Smith
Shut up. I'M not tubing. Okay. So they're sending some secret messages.
Shannon
It also says that it's important to note that UVB 76's transmissions often correlate with periods of geopolitical tension. And so it is, like, suggesting that this is done on purpose to, like, confuse people or put them off where they're supposed to be.
Drew
So what's. What's streaming on there now? Is it just back to size static? Yeah. What if, like, oh, and A comes on there? That'd be pretty sweet.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
It's the revival of.
Matty Smith
Oh, and media.
Zack Amico
It's Gino. It's the one station they'll still have. Gino Biscante.
Drew
It's Patrice from beyond the grave.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Nothing would make me happier.
Drew
The Patrice Ghost podcast.
Zack Amico
I'll be back. I'll be back in hard. Did you listen? They did AI Patrice on something with the bonfire. It was pretty funny.
Drew
That's fun.
Zack Amico
Yeah, I enjoyed it very much. All right, so keep an eye out. If. If the Russians pull some fucking crazy shit. We broke it here on the Morning Zoo.
Matty Smith
Yeah. You heard it here.
Zack Amico
You heard it here first. Okay. Let it be known, I was reading, some people think it might be like, like a chemical attack or like a false flag terrorist attack so that a war can be started. And that that was, like, the code for how it's going to be done.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Drew
Scare me.
Matty Smith
Yeah, me too. Chemical warfare.
Drew
Yeah. Yeah. I don't want no monster gas.
Matty Smith
I'm so glad I didn't fight in World War I, dude.
Drew
If I have to go outside and my face gets burned, I'm gonna be so pissed.
Matty Smith
I'm gonna be pissed. Yeah. I mean, that happens to us already, right?
Zack Amico
We are three very white people.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
We're exceptionally white.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Need the spf, bro. I don't know. If war breaks out, I might just, like, off myself. I'm not. I'm not going through that.
Drew
Don't do it.
Matty Smith
War, apocalypse, like, any sort of, like, big change.
Drew
Good dude.
Matty Smith
I don't think so.
Drew
Yes.
Matty Smith
Any. Like, if there's.
Zack Amico
I have to just do one good thing so that I get, like, in the end of this. Yeah.
Drew
You just get sucked up. Yeah.
Zack Amico
You got to do one selfless thing.
Matty Smith
Okay. Okay. Save some, then you're fine. Yeah, I'm like, if there's no, like, WI Fi and, like, restaurants, like, I'm. I'm done.
Zack Amico
I would have no idea how to live my life.
Matty Smith
Me neither.
Zack Amico
If the Internet went down, I wouldn't. I literally wouldn't know what time it was. Like, if I, if all the phones stopped, I would have. It would really. I don't think I could do it.
Matty Smith
I think I'd be fucked.
Zack Amico
I wouldn't know what time it is where I was going. I just, I don't pay attention to anything.
Matty Smith
You could start watching the rhythm of the sun. Oh, sun's up right there. It's noon. Oh, sun's over there.
Drew
It's 1pm you're on a sundial.
Matty Smith
You ever done that? Your phone dies and you're like, I have no idea what time it is. Yeah, sun's over there.
Drew
It might be 4pm I. I left my phone in the other room the other night and, like, went up to my room to fall asleep. And when I woke up, I was panicking. I had no idea what time it was. Yeah, it was such, like, a stress.
Matty Smith
Yes.
Drew
But I've gotten so used to just rolling over and, like, hitting the button and checking what time.
Zack Amico
The last time I got my phone repaired at, like, a third party kind of thing, like a guy's apartment and buys people's phones and trades out parts. And I was getting my screen fixed. He's like, just come back in an hour. And I wanted to be like, how do I know?
Matty Smith
Right?
Zack Amico
What do I just walk up to.
Matty Smith
People 10 minutes later? Has it been an hour? Yeah.
Zack Amico
I think I went and sat in a coffee shop because it had a clock.
Matty Smith
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Zack Amico
And I just had no idea.
Matty Smith
She get a watch.
Zack Amico
I know that is a classy thing to have, is.
Matty Smith
I think a watch indicates, like, my time. I am on top of my time.
Zack Amico
I just. My phone's always cracked and banged up. I feel like my watch would also be a show.
Drew
She get a Flavor Flav clock?
Matty Smith
Absolutely.
Drew
Around the neck.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
What about a pocket watch?
Matty Smith
Pocket watch.
Drew
That would be fire. If you go, monica, pocket watch, your life changes.
Matty Smith
Like, if I was talking to you and you pulled out a pocket watch, I would be like, I have to take Zach more seriously.
Zack Amico
Thank you. Yeah, I'll take it.
Matty Smith
Not that I wasn't, but, like, this is. This is huge.
Zack Amico
I'll take it. All right. Did you guys see this comic Steve Brown get attacked on stage?
Matty Smith
No.
Zack Amico
All right, we got, we got a, we got, we got a rogue audience.
Drew
I think I might know Steve Brown. Is he black guy from Jersey?
Zack Amico
I, I, let's find out.
Matty Smith
Never heard of this person in my life.
Drew
I, I know all these guys. I'm still in the streets.
Zack Amico
Well, Naim got sucker punched on stage. Right?
Matty Smith
That looks like.
Zack Amico
Where is this? I Think this is dc.
Shannon
Hold on. Just click away a second.
Zack Amico
I think this is these. I. I saw it on Fox.
Shannon
D.C. south Carolina.
Zack Amico
I saw South Carolina.
Drew
Might be a different guy then.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Shannon
There'S sounds on.
Drew
Oh, Jesus.
Matty Smith
Looks like.
Drew
No, yo, wait, which one's the comic?
Zack Amico
Dude, I think the, the, the. The one without the microphone stands.
Drew
No.
Matty Smith
Bruh. Oh, my God. Let's go. They're all up there. Urban show, for sure.
Drew
Oh.
Matty Smith
Let'S go.
Zack Amico
Was he a judge?
Drew
I do love a black show.
Matty Smith
Me too.
Drew
It's like there's a. Somebody selling candles out in the lobby. There's like a guy selling fried fish over there.
Matty Smith
There's a woman selling oils.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
And you know, it looks like he. The guy probably wasn't even doing that well. The audience didn't really come into. They didn't give a. Yeah, they're just sitting there watching.
Drew
They were like killing. Beat him with the mic stand.
Zack Amico
That was definitely a show that came with food.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
And.
Zack Amico
And the food was on the flyer.
Drew
Yes.
Zack Amico
And whatever the dinner was, it's one of two options.
Matty Smith
On the fire.
Drew
The wings are shrimp.
Matty Smith
Anything that ends with S actually ends with Z.
Zack Amico
Yes.
Matty Smith
Fire. There's like, I'm going to.
Zack Amico
I'm going to take a wild guess. And that show started late.
Drew
I'm going to take another wild guess. Steve Brown wasn't his stage name. It was duck. Comedian, Funny guy Steve Brown or something like MC funny. MC funny. Mr. Steve Brown jokes.
Matty Smith
Show doors open, 5pm show starts 10 p. Yeah, show really starts 1am Dude.
Zack Amico
I did a brewery and Thomas, Alex, Thomas Ellie drove me up and dude, it was so funny. The. The MC was super hood, but the rest of the show wasn't love. So she brought her whole family. Right. Her name was Ms. Conduct.
Matty Smith
Oh, I love that.
Zack Amico
And her whole family. I was. I had a close.
Matty Smith
You know, Miz.
Drew
Yeah, dude, I know all these.
Zack Amico
I had a close.
Matty Smith
You be hanging with conduct.
Zack Amico
Halfway through, like 20 minutes, her mom stood up and because they were in the front row and started pulling out boxes of homemade misconduct T shirts and making a merch booth in front of me.
Matty Smith
Love that.
Zack Amico
Front row, dead center starts putting out T shirts for the MC fire on a brewery show.
Matty Smith
I'm obsessed.
Zack Amico
And they're like homemade, like iron on shirts.
Matty Smith
Absolutely. Yeah.
Zack Amico
Dude, it was so ballsy. I was so impressed. I was directly in front of the stage.
Drew
What's your favorite black comedian stage name you've ever heard?
Matty Smith
Oh, well, there's a classic. Imagine. Yeah, he's in the Bronx.
Drew
Imagine.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Yeah, it's a good one.
Drew
I mean, obviously Hamburger the legend. I did a show in Syracuse one time with a guy named Comedian Country Boy E. Fudge.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Drew
I forgot his whole name when I was, like, bringing him up. He was featuring dude. He snapped on me after he got off stage. He's like, you ruined my set. Get my name right. I think I called him E. Fudge. He's like, it's Comedian Country Boy.
Matty Smith
How dare you?
Zack Amico
Do you want to. I will show you a wigger comedian that will blow your mind.
Drew
Please.
Zack Amico
I think his is his name. Redbone.
Drew
Nice.
Matty Smith
Red band.
Zack Amico
No, no, no, no, no. Can you look up Comedian Red Bone and. Oh, buddy, if you want to talk about pandering. Yeah, this guy.
Drew
I'm a fan already.
Zack Amico
Oh, yeah. Here we go.
Matty Smith
He looks like Ken Bone.
Drew
Oh, no.
Zack Amico
That's what I talk about, boy. Ain't nothing wrong with going to the strip club. I like going, but I can't think of a strip club and can't get your money.
Matty Smith
Love him.
Zack Amico
You know, when you go out to eat, you want to get what you pay for.
Drew
Yeah, I should be featured.
Zack Amico
But tonight, take y'all back, y'all. A white strip club and a black strip club. Dude, this is. This is exactly the men I wanted you to get. I do the white strip club, black strip club. The difference between the white strip club.
Drew
And black strip club.
Zack Amico
Here I go, the white strip club, y'all. White strippers be dancing like this music.
Matty Smith
Let's go.
Zack Amico
He's killing, by the way.
Matty Smith
Murdering.
Drew
Don't show Karen this guy. I'm.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Dude. He is murderous and.
Matty Smith
Give me wilding out. That's me on mtv. Go Red. Go red.
Zack Amico
Thank God. Red Bone know some brothers now. Let me see.
Matty Smith
Let me see. Black shirt Club.
Zack Amico
If you don't think he is about to do a full performance.
Matty Smith
I'm ready.
Zack Amico
I'm going to show y'all how they do that. J.
Matty Smith
If you close your eyes, there would be a black person.
Zack Amico
Yeah, you close your eyes. It's Bernie Mac.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
I ain't scared of you.
Matty Smith
Hey. Oh, yeah. Hey. Hey. Yep. Crowd goes crazy. Yep. Oh, yeah. Yep. Maddie with the fatty. Yes. Splits is crazy.
Zack Amico
You had a flashlight.
Matty Smith
Splits is crazy.
Zack Amico
Dude, is that.
Matty Smith
Yeah. By the way, that's awesome.
Zack Amico
I know. We brought him up to mock him. That guy fucking killed.
Drew
No, he rules. Yeah, I'm a fan.
Matty Smith
He rules.
Zack Amico
That guy. That guy. That guy gets him black.
Matty Smith
Red Bone. What happened to him? That looked old as.
Zack Amico
I mean, I know him because he's in the Devil's Rejects. What's that, Rob? Zombie movie.
Matty Smith
Oh, okay, okay.
Zack Amico
He's like a. He's a chicken salesman. He sells live chickens.
Shannon
I found him on Instagram. His name is Michael Alcott, and he hasn't. He has, like, less than 2,000 followers now.
Drew
A watermelon salesman, that would be less pandering.
Matty Smith
Yeah, it looks like.
Shannon
Like he did a podcast maybe six months ago. There's some clips from it if you want to see.
Drew
Yeah. Yes.
Zack Amico
Faith. We go there to be there for buffet means. Buffet mean, like, relax.
Drew
Yeah. So he's just really Southern. He rules.
Zack Amico
Buffet mean to be quick.
Drew
See, me and you, we gonna go in there.
Zack Amico
A buffet gonna take us at least two hours. Why would I rush? All I can eat for 14.95.
Matty Smith
For 14.95. What?
Zack Amico
And dessert leaving. And they bring the rolls to the table.
Drew
Listen, listen.
Zack Amico
Could y'all leave me alone? Sir, it's a buffet.
Matty Smith
It's durag and deer tag.
Drew
Yes.
Matty Smith
That's great.
Zack Amico
What's this frightening. Look into your future.
Matty Smith
Like, you go to buffet. $14 90.
Zack Amico
That's crazy. 2,000 followers. Yeah, and it seemed like he. Because he was on a bunch of. Of the, like, hood specials.
Matty Smith
Yeah. You know. You know, sometimes you just can't adapt to the. To the new age.
Drew
No, I get it. I see that a lot of the times with, like. Like, former athletes, like, dudes that were the man in, like, the early 2000s. And then you see their Instagram now, and they have, like, 7,000 followers. You're like, how you were the most famous guy in the world at one point.
Matty Smith
I'll follow them if it's low, because I'm like, they'll see it.
Drew
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doug, interact with. Yeah, dude, I love dog food.
Matty Smith
Me too.
Zack Amico
Shannon, did we ever get a reason? Did we find out why. Why Steve Brown was attacked or.
Shannon
Yeah, kind of.
Drew
Wait, can we watch it one more time? I got to see the mic stand. It came apart when he swung it.
Zack Amico
Thank God.
Drew
That was. Yeah, that would have killed him.
Matty Smith
Yeah, there you go. He probably did some dumbass crowd work.
Zack Amico
Dude, this comedy house. Do we hear at the Comedy House.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Drew
He's lucky that that flew off. It would have. That would have been so bad.
Matty Smith
I have to sprint off the stage. I love. Someone's filming.
Drew
They're all just filming. Nobody's stopping at.
Zack Amico
It was a somber night that night at Waffle House.
Matty Smith
Comedy House in South Carolina. Wild N Out has a lot of.
Zack Amico
They were wilding out.
Matty Smith
They were wilding out.
Drew
Has There ever been a fight in Wild now in the crowd.
Matty Smith
Not in the crowd, but like they try and fight. No, but we've had like green room altercations between cast members and Jacob Williams.
Zack Amico
You motherfucker.
Matty Smith
It was like, Jacob, me.
Zack Amico
You and Jacob just bark slapping each other.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
How dare you, Jacob Paul the God.
Matty Smith
Yeah, it'll be like, Jacob Maddie. And it'll be like Little head Cortez.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
Young swag.
Zack Amico
Yep. Jacob's like, don't you know I'm a real.
Matty Smith
Yeah, I'm married to the game.
Zack Amico
This isn't a game. I'm a real. I'm from these streets, dude. I would pay any amount of money. They see Jacob Williams do that bit it.
Matty Smith
Me too with that. I want to see him.
Drew
He's got to do it.
Zack Amico
Yeah, but no, I want to see him do it in his cadence. Yeah, thank God.
Matty Smith
Let's drop a split.
Zack Amico
Thank God. I know somebody.
Drew
Strip club, maybe like, thank God.
Matty Smith
I. Yeah, I know some brothers.
Zack Amico
Shannon, what did you find out for us?
Shannon
So what people from the audience said was that. That this guy seemed like he had like a. Like a shitty face on kind of during the comedy show. So the comedian was like, hey, like, what's the matter? What's wrong with you? Why aren't you laughing? And the guy just kind of like brushed him off and he's like, oh, why'd you come to a comedy show if you're not gonna laugh? And he kept kind of like pushing him until he eventually erupted. I do have a news. A news little clip here.
Zack Amico
Yeah, please.
Drew
Crowd work is gay.
Zack Amico
I agree with you. I'm fine with it.
Matty Smith
I'll be that guy too.
Shannon
So this is the. The police sheriff reacting afterwards and then the comedy club manager reacting.
Zack Amico
Could wait. Hold up real quick before you press play courtesy Tamika Lasha.
Matty Smith
Thank you, Tamika.
Zack Amico
Thank you, Tamika, for.
Drew
Sounds like a Hawaiian.
Zack Amico
Thank God Tamika's on the scene.
Shannon
Later, later in the video that she took, by the way, she does put the camera on herself and says, but my food never came.
Drew
And she paid for it with the ticket. So I feel it.
Zack Amico
Sunday night could have people killed.
Drew
I mean, that's, you know, could have.
Zack Amico
Had a lot more injuries than what we had. In a news conference, Sheriff Leon Lott announced that deputies have charged 28 year.
Drew
Old Marvin Toatley for.
Matty Smith
The audience member in jail became enraged.
Zack Amico
By some harmless jokes comic Steve Brown told at his expense.
Matty Smith
You gotta have tough skin these days if you go into a place like that.
Drew
Understand that's potentially Gonna happen.
Matty Smith
I mean, I went to Andrew Schultz show. I loved it.
Drew
I want to interview with the guy in jail, and he's just like, was ass.
Matty Smith
Yeah. He sucked.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
I didn't care what he said. He just didn't make it funny. Was ass make it funny?
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Matty Smith
At the end of the day up.
Zack Amico
There, asking people what they do for a living.
Matty Smith
You care what I do? I came to see what you do for a living.
Zack Amico
Yeah. Yeah. Well, you gonna clip that?
Matty Smith
You're gonna clip that. Now I'm gonna be on Instagram and open time. No jokes. 40 minutes of crowd work and I didn't get my food.
Zack Amico
Next time, I'm going to see Natalie Cuomo.
Matty Smith
I'll be with Natalie Coleman and Dan Lamour at the Comedy Zone in Greenville.
Zack Amico
Let's see. The club manager, Peter Hamlet, has a different club manager. He says Brown stoked Totley's flames even after guards had removed totally from the room. Sometimes people make it all about them, and it's not all about them. And I.
Drew
And I think he's not thinking of.
Zack Amico
The customers that were here.
Matty Smith
Oh, classic. Club owner.
Drew
The other 136 people that were in the. Dude, I think I know this guy. Steve Brown had responsibility.
Matty Smith
Oh, the comic.
Drew
Yeah, the comical. Look it up.
Zack Amico
Hold on. Of course the fucking club can't take responsibility.
Matty Smith
Of course. Classic. Oh, you. You realize there's paying customers.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Matty Smith
Does. Never takes the comedian side.
Drew
No, I don't know him. Different guy.
Matty Smith
If he was cool, he would have said, yeah, comedian did what comedian did.
Zack Amico
Yeah, comedian was being comedian.
Matty Smith
I would it. Governor's Long Island Shout out. I'll be there in October. So no shade. But the owner. What's his name, Jimmy or something, said to me, if I. If I have a comic and he's picking on that table, I'll cover the whole table. I'll cover the whole table's bill because I don't want anyone leaving the show thinking they were made fun of. It's like you're not on the comedian side at all.
Drew
Yeah, yeah. That's what we're trying to do, dude.
Matty Smith
Covering the table.
Drew
I'm trying to call tables gay.
Matty Smith
I'm like, what's up?
Drew
Yeah, let me cook, dude. I'm trying to do low effort crowd work.
Matty Smith
Literally.
Zack Amico
Hey, listen, you know you talk about clubs that open the doors of five shows at that.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
When you see some of those governor shows, you show up early and you think you're early, and they're there. Hammered already.
Matty Smith
They're hammered. They're like, oh, Come in. Olga's here.
Zack Amico
That was the story I was featured for Lewis. And the emcee they assigned us was a girl with a ukulele.
Matty Smith
Hilarious.
Zack Amico
And I'm standing at the bar waiting to go up. And her closer was the ukulele. She goes, my boyfriend's black, and I'm gonna be in trou. And just all these drunk fucking Long island pig whores go, hell, she killed.
Matty Smith
Murdered.
Zack Amico
If there had been a gun on the bar, she would have said, ladies and gentlemen, your feature for tonight, Zak Amico. You've heard one shot and 400 pounds hit the floor. There's no group of people I've ever wanted to entertain less than the people that just loved this dog shit ukulele.
Matty Smith
The people who murder out there, you know, hats off. Hats off. My first, like, bookings outside of New York City would be, like, opening for people in governors. And I would. You think you're funny and you go to Long Island.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Matty Smith
You will bomb.
Drew
It's always humbling, though, when you. Like, when you have a set that goes bad and you're like, dude, I just didn't have it tonight. Like, I suck. And then you see someone go up after you with some dog shit and kill.
Matty Smith
Murder.
Drew
Yeah. I saw a guy I bombed so hard in Wilmington. It was the first time I got booked to do 30 minutes. This is, like, a few years ago. And, dude, I got lit so early on, it's like, it felt like five minutes. They were waving the light, like, violently in the back of the room. I was bombing so hard, I get off, and I was like, dude, 30 goes fast when you're up there, man. He was like, that was seven minutes. And then. But the guy that went up after.
Matty Smith
Me, they didn't give you a chance.
Drew
No, not a chance. I mean, there was zero laughs. But the guy that went up after me, he did a joke. He was like. He's like, you ever go to Taco Bell and then you eat it? And then you on your way home, you stuck in traffic, and you just, like. It started doing fart noises. And it killed so hard. Like, people were falling out of their chairs, laughing.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Hitting the ceiling.
Drew
I was like, oh, maybe the comedy's retarded. Maybe.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
Maybe it wasn't me tonight, I think.
Zack Amico
One of my hardest bombs, I followed a girl comic whose closer was. This is my impression of Taylor Swift as a chicken.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Zack Amico
And she just did chicken noises over a Taylor Swift song.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Like, and I mean, crushed.
Matty Smith
Like, I knew we were trouble when we walked in Yep. Damn.
Zack Amico
Now I gotta make sure it wasn't mad. Was there more to the. The video we had from the news?
Shannon
I don't. It's not. Well, there's like another minute. I could play it if you want.
Zack Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matty Smith
Let's check it out.
Drew
On the other hand, has blasted the.
Zack Amico
Club for a perceived lack of security. Some of these comedy clubs got to be held accountable for lack of security. That hurts Hamlet. We have security people that are made.
Drew
Up of ex law enforcement and ex military, and they're in plain clothes.
Zack Amico
He says one of the guards was hurt by totally so badly, he needed.
Drew
A wheelchair the next day. And they pursued the individual outside the building with law enforcement, you know, giving instructions. So Steve just doesn't understand.
Zack Amico
Regardless, Hamlet hopes comedians and customers will keep coming despite this viral moment.
Matty Smith
Damn.
Zack Amico
In fact, if you mentioned the code got my ass kicked on stage. You will get five free tickets, free plate of shrimp.
Matty Smith
It'll come late, but. Yeah.
Drew
Yeah. That's insane. I'm happy the mic stand came apart. I'm so blown away by that.
Zack Amico
That's a. That's the. That's. I think that's the weapon you use if somebody attacks you on stage, right?
Drew
Yeah, yeah. If a guy comes up on stage, the comic has to grab the mic stand immediately.
Zack Amico
Yeah, I think that's. Yeah. The first thing you do.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
And the cord. The mic cord.
Drew
Yeah. And the stool. They're just carrying three things.
Matty Smith
All right, I'm gonna go.
Zack Amico
Well, I mean, the best of all time is that guitar comic who just brains the dude. The whole. It's like, what the fuck should he left for? He's like. He was coming at me like he was slowly walking up to you.
Matty Smith
Yeah, he's going to the bathroom.
Zack Amico
But I've said. I've said this a ton before. I think we live in a post Dimebag Darrell world. Right, Matty Dimebag Darrell was the guitar player from Pantera and he was doing a show with him. He was doing a show with a new band and a fan walked on stage and shot and killed him.
Matty Smith
That's crazy.
Zack Amico
So I always say we live in a post dime world where if anyone who's not supposed to be part of the show is trying to get on stage, you have to assume they might be doing something violent.
Matty Smith
Absolutely. Even like, I've done. I've talked to the crowd. You ever have, like, a hammered white woman in the front? She's trash. Like, meth head. Baby daddy. Baby daddy. I've had those. And they'll, like, stand up in my head, I'm like, no. I feel like they're gonna get on the stage anytime someone stands up.
Drew
Up. I throw a chicken tender one time. But I never, like, felt threatened. Threatened.
Matty Smith
I will. If they stand up while you're talking to them.
Drew
Yeah.
Zack Amico
I had a lady swing at me.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Yeah. Lol, baby.
Matty Smith
Yeah, let's go.
Zack Amico
Lol. New York lady got up and took a swing at me. And then I think it might have been Evan Williams. Dragged her out by her waist.
Matty Smith
Awesome. He's got a good security guard body.
Zack Amico
I think it was. It was somebody. It was somebody very handsome. Was my savior.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
So I can't remember who was.
Matty Smith
But they were probably Evan. There's not many. That many people.
Zack Amico
And she was screaming. She called me a racist. At a bunch of other true things. Said I hated women.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
She nailed it.
Matty Smith
Yeah. I see no lie.
Zack Amico
And as I was leaving after my set, I saw Cisco, the manager, giving her free tickets.
Matty Smith
Yep.
Zack Amico
And apologizing for me.
Matty Smith
Yep.
Zack Amico
And that's the day I quit. I said I would never work there again.
Matty Smith
Classic. The better clubs will just fucking kick him out and don't care.
Zack Amico
Yeah. Of course.
Matty Smith
In their face. But.
Zack Amico
Well, who would give free things? Somebody that attacked the comic.
Matty Smith
I know.
Drew
Yeah.
Zack Amico
That's literally inviting back someone who incited violence.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
That's why I love helium Philly. They. They don't tolerate any of that. They get people out of there so quick.
Matty Smith
No way.
Drew
And it's like, two of the biggest, strongest. But they're also the nicest guys when you get to know them.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
But, yeah, they be dragging people out of there a couple times a weekend.
Matty Smith
Yeah. It's the best. The best is when they're like, do you care? Like, what's the deal if someone's, like, yelling out, I'm kick them out. Don't care.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
You don't have to wait for me to signal.
Drew
They're like dogs. They're just waiting for it. Yeah.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Matty Smith
You gotta go.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
Excuse me.
Zack Amico
I was helping.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Always.
Drew
It's all. Yeah. They always say that.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Do you ever. And Maddie, I'm sure there's a female version of this question. Drew, have you ever had a friend who had an awful, awful chick, but you knew the pussy was so good that everyone in the friend group had a tolerator?
Drew
Yes. You're like, I can't blame it, man. She stinks. But it's got to be something bad.
Zack Amico
What would be the feel that?
Matty Smith
I mean, I have a lot of guy friends, so.
Zack Amico
Or for the girl version.
Matty Smith
Like.
Zack Amico
Like the worst guy, but, you know, he's just laying down thick.
Matty Smith
Yes. Yes. I've had. I've seen my friends and myself. Myself, I've gone through that, too. They're like, we get it.
Drew
What? Thick cocks.
Matty Smith
This guy sucks. But he's got a thick.
Drew
Yeah, yeah.
Zack Amico
My. My buddy was dating this Indian broad who was. Must have been such. He literally said he would watch porn for ideas because there's nothing she wouldn't do.
Matty Smith
Wow.
Zack Amico
And she was exciting. The worst human being any of us had ever. I mean, a. That's where the. Have ever told you the Mario Luigi Halloween party story? He had met her when he was still trying to date her. Him, his friend and her went to a party. He was Mario, his friend was Luigi, and she was Princess Peach. And she started hooking up Bowser. Yes, I was. I was Bowser's daughter.
Drew
Yeah. Yeah.
Zack Amico
She started hooking up with Luigi on the couch.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Zack Amico
While Mario sat there awkwardly.
Matty Smith
Let's go.
Zack Amico
And somebody at the party just walked by and yelled, player two is winning.
Matty Smith
That's awesome.
Zack Amico
He winds up dating her because that's exactly what you do to a girl that humiliates you.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
And they were getting kicked out of the cellar for her yelling at the comedian.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Zack Amico
And he loved. He wanted to be a comic so bad. He was so fucking humiliated. And as they're kicking her out of the cellar, she pulled the fire alarm.
Matty Smith
No way.
Zack Amico
And they had to evacuate into the street. This is the old. This is before they had the second room.
Matty Smith
Just the one. Yeah.
Zack Amico
This is back in.
Matty Smith
That's crazy.
Zack Amico
And I remember, because I was working down the street at CBs, and I remember seeing everyone pile into the street and then just see my buddy get thrown out.
Matty Smith
That's amazing.
Zack Amico
I think she went to jail for that.
Matty Smith
Really?
Zack Amico
Oh, yeah. She did it in front of the security.
Matty Smith
Right.
Zack Amico
She didn't do it subtly.
Drew
It's just Keith sitting there in the sprinklers, like, motherfuckers left me.
Matty Smith
Oh, my God.
Drew
Ah, damn.
Zack Amico
Not supposed to get wet after midnight. Turn into a gremlin.
Matty Smith
Pussy. So good.
Zack Amico
Yeah. Yeah, I think it. Cause I think that's a. That's not a felony, but, like, that's a crime to pull a fire alarm.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
I remember a kid in my high school got arrested for that because he. I think he had done it twice, but, like, yeah, he was old enough to get arrested, and they. They got him out of there.
Zack Amico
Yeah, He. I remember he had to go to go get her in jail.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
And then she sucked him off.
Zack Amico
Oh, yeah. Yeah, Definitely.
Matty Smith
She said free use tonight.
Zack Amico
The thing. The hottest thing he ever. She told. She did a. Is she liked to be choked with her own underwear.
Matty Smith
Ew.
Zack Amico
He would, like, stuff her panties down her mouth with.
Matty Smith
Okay. Yes.
Zack Amico
Yeah. She good egg. I think she's got kids. She's got husband and kids now.
Drew
Nice.
Matty Smith
She probably, like, never with him.
Zack Amico
Oh, no. I'm sure that guy got the short end of the stick.
Matty Smith
Absolutely.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Drew
Probably getting cheated on. Stinks.
Matty Smith
Yeah, yeah.
Zack Amico
Yeah, I'd say so.
Matty Smith
Damn.
Zack Amico
All right, let's keep it moving. Does it live? Lightning strikes, group of college kids.
Matty Smith
Does it live or does it die?
Shannon
Okay, I'm just gonna play it for you guys. Yeah, you see in the top left corner? I don't think there's sound.
Drew
Oh, I see him.
Shannon
They're, like, huddling under a tree because it's a storm.
Matty Smith
Nervous. Oh, oh, and he's down. Man, that gets sucked.
Zack Amico
That one's alive.
Matty Smith
Oh, they ran away.
Shannon
I'm stop it here.
Zack Amico
Okay, so we're gonna guess. Did they. Did they live or did they die?
Matty Smith
I must say live.
Zack Amico
I'm gonna say live because I feel like we would have kept the video going.
Drew
Yeah, I think one of them. At least one of them died. It looked like three fell.
Zack Amico
It looked like one fell and got right back up.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
I'm gonna say live because.
Zack Amico
Can we see it again?
Matty Smith
Live through that, right?
Drew
I think so. You can live through anything.
Zack Amico
Okay. And kablooey.
Matty Smith
Oh, I don't know if I've ever seen that. A video on that.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Drew
That's such a bummer.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
I'm gonna go one dead.
Zack Amico
You know what? That makes sense to me. Did one specifically get hit it and the others were around him?
Drew
Somebody had to ground that thing.
Zack Amico
I. I'm gonna go with Drew on this one. I. I say one dead. Three hospitals.
Drew
One of those dudes got. Yeah, somebody got magnetized. Then three are in the hospital.
Matty Smith
I'm say they all live.
Zack Amico
You say all live. All right, Shannon, our answers are in.
Shannon
Okay, so they all lived. The guy who ran away did come back shortly after to check on them. And so they all suffered severe burn injuries and were rushed to the hospital. Two of them remain in critical condition. And I can play one more time if you want.
Zack Amico
Everything. Sorry. Hey, we're having a great day, guys. Don't let the storm bother you.
Matty Smith
And, I mean, you're really. You're not. You're supposed to go inside. You're not supposed to Stand by trees, Right?
Drew
Lightning stinks so bad.
Matty Smith
No. Yeah.
Shannon
You're not supposed to stand by trees.
Matty Smith
That's what they. Surrounded by trees.
Drew
How do you beat lightning? Just walk around with, like, a bunch of rubber on.
Zack Amico
I think as long as you're not near anything tall, you're pretty. Because it doesn't go to the tallest thing.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Shannon
You're supposed to also, like, crouch down, but. But not, like, lay down because it's like the least amount of your body in touch with the ground.
Zack Amico
Yeah, but that's also if you're in.
Drew
The middle of light balancing.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
That's like such a not happening thing. Statistically, it's probably not gonna happen.
Drew
Right?
Matty Smith
Right.
Drew
Doesn't like, this might sound dumb, but, like, doesn't half of lightning come from the ground?
Matty Smith
I have no idea.
Zack Amico
I don't even know what that question.
Matty Smith
I don't even know, like, what lightning is.
Drew
Have you ever seen a video of like a frame by frame of lightning strikes? You always see something before it hits. Something comes from the ground, kind of meets it in the middle.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Zack Amico
I think we're exposing how stupid the three of us are, right?
Matty Smith
Yeah. I don't know.
Zack Amico
Because I couldn't tell you, buddy.
Drew
I could be completely wrong.
Matty Smith
But we could look it up.
Zack Amico
We can look it up.
Shannon
I have lightning in slow motion. Hold on one second.
Zack Amico
It.
Drew
Yeah.
Shannon
Okay. Here you go.
Zack Amico
That looks like it's from the sky.
Drew
Sky stuff.
Shannon
It looks like it's just staying in the sky.
Drew
But I think when it hits the ground, it. There's something that, like, connects.
Shannon
I'll look for another one where it strikes something.
Drew
I could be completely wrong. Shannon. I'm sorry.
Zack Amico
Yeah, I have no idea. I'm sorry. I don't know.
Matty Smith
I believe you.
Zack Amico
Let's have some fun and move on. Shannon, let's save the Mickey Rourke thing for. Because we talked about it on Friday. What else we got? Oh, here we go. Fox Nation plans game show about isolated people guessing what Trump did in his first 90 days. I am a big Greg Gutfeld guy.
Matty Smith
I love when I'm like, after a show on the road, I'll pop on Gutfeld. So fucking corny.
Drew
I don't know Gutfeld.
Matty Smith
Oh, he loves himself so much. He's such a cornball.
Drew
He's a news guy.
Matty Smith
He's like the late night.
Zack Amico
Well, he used to. It used to be. What was the show before Got Felt.
Matty Smith
Before it was.
Zack Amico
Got Felt.
Matty Smith
Some red. Red something.
Drew
Okay.
Matty Smith
Red eye or no?
Zack Amico
Yeah, Red eye. Yeah, Yeah, I used to watch Red Eye.
Matty Smith
Yes. And Then.
Zack Amico
Because it would be on it like three in the morning on Fox News. But it would just be like. They'd be like. And the singer from GWAR is here.
Drew
Yeah.
Zack Amico
It would just be crazy. People showing up on Fox News at 3 in the morning.
Matty Smith
Yeah, it was crazy.
Zack Amico
And sometimes a bunch of comics would be on it.
Matty Smith
Dylan would do it.
Zack Amico
Yeah.
Drew
I remember seeing Norton would do it a lot.
Zack Amico
Yeah, Norton does got sell now a lot.
Matty Smith
Yeah, now it's so.
Zack Amico
Yeah. Show us the. Is there a trailer or anything, Shannon?
Shannon
I don't have the trailer, but I can give you a little bit more about what they did.
Zack Amico
Yes, please.
Shannon
So on January 20th, they put four people in complete isolation in upstate New York with no contact to the outside world. No phones, Internet, television, or social media. And 90 days later, those four people are gonna come out of their cocoon before learning about anything that's happened while Trump has been in office. And then they're gonna be quizzed on some scenarios that have happened.
Matty Smith
That's great.
Zack Amico
Are they also gonna tell them fake stuff? Cause I think that's the show. It should be like, guys, you wouldn't believe what happened while you were down there.
Matty Smith
Trump transitioned.
Drew
He's a woman now.
Shannon
Yeah, that's. There's going to be real headlines and fake ones. And then the grand prize is $50,000.
Matty Smith
Do they get paid for that? 90 days. It's a lot. That's a big chunk of time.
Zack Amico
50,000.
Matty Smith
That's not a word.
Zack Amico
Isn't it weird sometimes game show prizes are not very impressive item?
Matty Smith
Like 50k plus, you know, game show prize. That's probably taxed half.
Drew
Yeah. Also for 90 days. And then you see other ones where like, like, are you smarter than a celebrity? You can win a million dollars by answering like a sixth grade question.
Zack Amico
Which I never can, by the way.
Drew
I never can either.
Zack Amico
If it's math, I'm fucked.
Matty Smith
How does lightning work?
Zack Amico
Yeah. Yeah. By the way, that's a third grade question. And we all failed miserably.
Matty Smith
Jeopardy. The. The prize money is not that big.
Drew
Yeah, it's not. And Jeopardy. You have to be like a legit.
Matty Smith
That's the hardest one.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
I've come to the conclusion that I am Celebrity Jeopardy.
Matty Smith
Okay. That's a good one.
Zack Amico
Okay. Regular Jeopardy. Nothing.
Matty Smith
What about Teen Jeopardy? That's a good one.
Zack Amico
Not smart enough for that. Celebrity Jeopardy.
Matty Smith
Celebrity is good.
Zack Amico
I feel like I could. I could hang.
Matty Smith
This is the color of a. I.
Zack Amico
Don'T if I'd win.
Drew
I'm like Family Feud smart.
Matty Smith
Okay. I Like family. Yeah. Yeah.
Zack Amico
I don't think I would win, but I think I could hang on. Celebrity Jeopardy.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Cuz regular Jeopardy.
Zack Amico
Oh, yeah.
Matty Smith
No, nothing, man. If I was on Jeopardy. And I was one of those who, like, at the end of the first round, Alex Trebek was like, and Maddie, you're at $0. I would kill. I would go home and kill myself. I hate being embarrassed.
Zack Amico
You only see an impression of my, My mom watching Final Jeopardy.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
This is no Matter what. So they watch Jeopardy. Every night at my grandma's house. And every Final Jeopardy, they'll give the. Not the clue, but like the, the subject. So my mom just rattles off every single word she's ever heard having to do with that subject.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Zack Amico
And this is if one of those 40 words she says is the answer. And the answer is.
Matty Smith
And your answer is walking home with the final Jeopardy.
Zack Amico
Your answer is Rutabaga. This is my mom. She goes, hot damn. I got it.
Matty Smith
Let's go. I'll do that. You know, it says like, retro. Retro television. Just list every TV show.
Drew
Yeah. Nailed it.
Matty Smith
Fucking genius.
Zack Amico
I think my mom's trying to elbow in because she's like, you know, I can come and do your show sometime. And I'm like, oh, that's cool. I want that more than anything. I actually want my mom to record the soundboard. Oh, that'd be just so I can have my mom yelling at me.
Matty Smith
That'd be great. You think she would come in and do an episode?
Zack Amico
I don't know if she would be on camera, but I think I can get her to record stuff for the soundboard.
Matty Smith
I've called my dad before on the pod.
Zack Amico
My dad, I think maybe once he's retired would do it.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Yeah. They're all worried about their jobs.
Zack Amico
Yeah, he's, he's, he's. I, he's. Every time I talk to my dad, I get the. How many days till retirement? Yeah, he's keeping a, he's keeping a log.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
So I think after that maybe I can get him to sit down.
Matty Smith
What does he do?
Zack Amico
So welder.
Matty Smith
Oh, nice.
Drew
Dude. Dad's chill so hard after they retire. It's so cool.
Matty Smith
I might. I'll call my dad at like 2:00pm I'm like, what are you getting into today? He's like, I don't know. Just. I'll probably listen to music.
Drew
Yeah. Yeah. Every day. I'll call my dad at like noon. He's like, just playing darts in the garage.
Matty Smith
Yeah, Darts, music.
Zack Amico
Put a record on my dad's Never not doing something. Yeah, he's. If. If the day off, he's kayaking or.
Matty Smith
I love that.
Zack Amico
He's. He's.
Matty Smith
He's an outdoors recreational person. My dad.
Zack Amico
He's an outdoors boy.
Matty Smith
My dad's like an introvert.
Zack Amico
Have I told you about my dad code? So my. My stepmom got them passes to PNC Bank Art center, so basically they can go get lawn seats for, like, any show.
Matty Smith
Oh, cool.
Zack Amico
And my dad will call me and be like, we saw Kevin Hart last night. Pretty good. And we saw what's up, Bill Burr. Your buddy Joey Diaz was up there. You know, he'll call me and he goes, Zach, my dad's 40 years sober. Or 43, I think. I don't know. Bobby Kelly called him the other night and congratulated him. Was very sweet. But my dad goes, zach, we saw this group the other night, PNC walk in, pot smoke everywhere. Everyone. They're blowing. They're blowing it everywhere. I had to go. I told Chris, I can't do this. I'm going to get a fucking contact tie. Better get out of here. You heard of this group, the Dave Matthews Band?
Matty Smith
Hilarious.
Zack Amico
You went to see a fucking jam band?
Matty Smith
Yeah. What were you thinking?
Zack Amico
I got mad that. Zach, it was fucking everywhere.
Matty Smith
It was everywhere.
Zack Amico
Pot smoke. They're just blowing in the air like it's fine.
Matty Smith
The air was green, Chris.
Zack Amico
Chris said it's not a big deal. It's like having a glass of wine nowadays. But, you know, it was. It was. It was blatant.
Matty Smith
Yeah. You know, you see the little. You call me edibles. But not for me. Not for me. I guess if I had those passes, I would be going to see everything. I'll go see the Wiggles. I'll go see.
Zack Amico
My family still treats edibles like they're like real drugs, right? Oh, what? Did my mom say that? Oh, they were talking about somebody they knew. And my mom goes, you know what she's got? She's got those laced gummy bears.
Drew
Oh, damn. She called them laced.
Zack Amico
Like they had PCP in them.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Meanwhile, you have to eat 30 to feel anything.
Drew
No, they'll a dad up for sure. Yeah, sober dad.
Matty Smith
They'll take you out for sure.
Zack Amico
Yeah, I gave. My uncle hadn't smoked in, like, 20 years, and I gave him a joint point, and he had a panic attack.
Matty Smith
Yeah, that makes sense.
Zack Amico
He couldn't do it.
Matty Smith
It's too much.
Zack Amico
Yeah. Because they take, like, I think, like fives.
Matty Smith
Yes.
Zack Amico
So, like, if they need to sleep.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
And I think they accidentally took a 10 once.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Zack Amico
And, like, wanted to call the hospital.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
So I get it.
Matty Smith
That's why you got to stay smoking a little bit at all times so that later in life you can still enjoy it.
Drew
I. I was telling my friends this the other day, but, like. Cause he was like, you. I get paranoid. I can't smoke weed. I was like, you just have to power through that.
Matty Smith
Agreed.
Drew
If you smoke enough of it, eventually you will love to be paranoid.
Matty Smith
It opens you up a little bit.
Drew
Yes.
Matty Smith
This is good.
Drew
Yeah. I love anxiety.
Zack Amico
I found lately because I thought edibles hit me hardest on an empty stomach, but now I realize that if I have a little something after.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
I feel like it helps them kick.
Matty Smith
I think so too.
Zack Amico
I think it gets you moving.
Matty Smith
Food, it goes in your bloodstream faster.
Zack Amico
Yeah. I think it gets you moving.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah, that is true. They attach to fat cells.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
So, yeah, you need some food in there. That'll get you a little.
Matty Smith
It's like medicine you take with food.
Drew
Yes, dude. I took a vitamin the other day. Like, and I. I was supposed to eat breakfast, and then I got busy, but I took my vitamin in the morning. Then I ended up not eating till, like, noon, and I felt so sick, and I was like, what's wrong with me, dude? And it was just. My body was, like, too healthy without.
Matty Smith
Food in there, too.
Drew
No, my body's like, we're cooking too hard.
Matty Smith
We need a donut.
Zack Amico
What's the Philly breakfast? What's. What's the. Go to Philly Breakfast?
Drew
I'm not a big breakfast guy, so I usually just do, like, leftovers. I love leftovers.
Matty Smith
Me too.
Drew
I don't understand how people can't eat stuff but, like. Or can't eat leftovers. But I'll make something. Like, whenever I cook, I'll make something that I can eat for, like, three days.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
It's like a big meatloaf and, like, three pounds of mashed potatoes. Fire every. For the next nine meals.
Zack Amico
Yeah. You were making mashed potatoes when that guy got shot?
Drew
Yes. Some guy got shot outside my house while I was.
Matty Smith
I thought you meant Steve Brown. Someone got shot outside your house?
Zack Amico
Yeah, while he was making mashed potatoes.
Matty Smith
Wow.
Drew
And then I tweeted about it, and then everyone on Twitter was like, pics or you're lying. And I was like, it was 20 gunshots. I'm not going outside.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
And then I had to just wait until the Citizen app confirmed it for me. So for, like, two hours, I was like, I do seem Like a fucking.
Zack Amico
Steve Brown's in town.
Drew
Yeah. And then it came across Citizen. I was like, I fucking told you guys. Someone got shot.
Matty Smith
Damn. One time I was making a kale salad. I lived in Rochester, New York, and I lived in the hood and boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
I went out there, the cops looked at me and they're like, why do you live here?
Drew
They're like, did you do this?
Zack Amico
Yeah, I did it, man. Put down the garbage plate.
Matty Smith
Yeah, that's the Rochester breakfast.
Zack Amico
That's the. Have you ever had a garbage.
Drew
I love Rochester. Yeah.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
I'm from Syracuse, so it's only like.
Matty Smith
Hour and a half.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
I always forget that.
Zack Amico
Nick Tahoe's. Is it, right?
Matty Smith
Yeah, Nick Tahoes. And they got University hots.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
That's where we will go in College at like 4am Blackout. About 10 pounds of food for seven. Brockport Geneseo.
Drew
Okay.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
Nice.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Same thing, though. It's all the same. Middle of nowhere. Windy, Chilly.
Drew
Yes.
Matty Smith
You go to a party with no coat because you don't want to lose your coat. So you just go out dressed like a.
Drew
Nice.
Matty Smith
Like a snowstorm.
Drew
Party hard.
Matty Smith
You get blackout. You can't feel it.
Drew
I love the logic of that. You're like, if I just drink so much that I can't feel my body.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
I'll be warm.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
It works, dude.
Zack Amico
Imagine trying to fuck a chick after a garbage plate.
Matty Smith
Oh, God.
Zack Amico
Can you imagine? Imagine the.
Matty Smith
Tastes like meat sauce.
Zack Amico
It's not even chili. It's meat sauce.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
That's not good.
Matty Smith
Mustard, pickles.
Drew
Mustard and macaroni.
Matty Smith
Macaroni salad. Oh. Then I would wake. I would wake up and be like, why am I so fat?
Drew
You just ate every food.
Matty Smith
Yeah, yeah.
Zack Amico
Then of course, Buffalo Gym Steakout.
Matty Smith
I love Jim Steak Out. People on it. When you go there, I'm like, I went to. I was at Helium. I was like. Just had gyms. They're like the. Are you doing there? Fire. I love. You know. You know the best feeling is when you get a 12 inch, like hoagie walking home with it. The weight of it in your hand.
Drew
Is Jim's like the tourist spot now?
Matty Smith
No, I think the Taurus is more the wings. Places.
Drew
Okay.
Matty Smith
James is kind of like late night. You can get a stinger sub.
Zack Amico
That's the move.
Matty Smith
Fire. Chicken. Chicken steak.
Drew
I like that.
Matty Smith
Lettuce, tomato.
Zack Amico
A cheesesteak with chick like Buffalo chicken fingers.
Drew
Oh, damn.
Zack Amico
And you get oil and vinegar. Lettuce, tomato.
Matty Smith
Yep. Little. Little provolone.
Zack Amico
I like to Be honest with you. I think Mighty Taco is good.
Matty Smith
Mighty Taco. I was raised on that. Every day you get picked up for soccer practice, mom stops at Mighty Taco. Super mighty. Couple chips. Queso. Logan Berry.
Drew
I don't know nothing about Mighty Taco.
Matty Smith
You got to get up there.
Zack Amico
Oh, yeah. You got to get a. You got to get a loganberry soda, dog.
Drew
Damn.
Matty Smith
You ever heard of Logan Berry?
Drew
No.
Zack Amico
It is.
Matty Smith
It's like a juice. I don't think it's a real berry. It's just like, a thick juice that. That they drink, like, soda up there.
Zack Amico
My buddy Johnny Ryan Soda Co. Makes a loganberry soda.
Matty Smith
Nice.
Zack Amico
He does it for. Oh, fuck. What's the hot dog place that puts onion rings on the dog in Buffalo?
Matty Smith
Or Ted's?
Zack Amico
Yes.
Matty Smith
Yep.
Zack Amico
He does. He. He does. Specifically fire the Loganberry. And he only does it for the Ted's franchise.
Matty Smith
Okay, got it.
Zack Amico
It's exclusive to that franchise.
Matty Smith
Got it. Think it's got to have, like, 40 grams of sugar in a cup.
Zack Amico
It's super. Super.
Matty Smith
It's fire, though. We would do, like, pizza and wings on Friday night with Loganberry.
Zack Amico
Buffalo pizza stinks.
Matty Smith
Yeah, but when you're a kid.
Zack Amico
No, when you're a kid, you don't know. Dude, that was so cheesy.
Drew
Buffalo Chicken or Buffalo City Pizza City.
Zack Amico
It's very thick, so, like, it's like. It's. To me, why it's a bad pizza is because you need to have it. It boiling hot or it becomes sweet.
Matty Smith
Oh, yeah. There's a sweetness to it.
Drew
Syracuse pizza is really good.
Zack Amico
It becomes like. Well, first of all, it's like a deep. Like a.
Matty Smith
It's kind of Detroit ish, but, yeah, Detroit.
Zack Amico
It's a square pie sheet.
Matty Smith
Pizza vibes.
Drew
I don't like that, but it's really.
Zack Amico
Like, real, almost cakey, cakey.
Matty Smith
Like, the dough has, like, a lift to it. And I worked in a pizzeria. You know how most pizzerias is shredded cheese?
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
And in Buffalo, it's slightly slice, slice, slice of a provolone mozzarella. Yeah.
Zack Amico
Yeah. And thick as fuck. The second it starts to, unlike, like, cool off, the bread becomes, like, sugary. Yeah, it's a terrible pizza.
Matty Smith
Yeah. It's crazy.
Zack Amico
And the maddest I've ever seen people get is when I was in Buffalo and I was like, this pizza stinks.
Matty Smith
Oh, they love their. They're so. They're so proud of it.
Drew
It doesn't even sound good.
Zack Amico
Like, it's really good for one thing. And that is to sop up buffalo wing sauce. Yes.
Drew
All right. Yeah.
Matty Smith
You got a plate with the pizza, a few wings.
Drew
I do love a bread and a sauce.
Zack Amico
Yeah. So if you like. If you got, like. There was a place in Niagara Falls, were like Goodfellas, and they did a free slice of pizza, whatever you drink. So you go get char grilled wings. Oh, that's the way to do that.
Drew
Yes. Oh, and oip.
Zack Amico
Oh, you know, char grilled.
Drew
Yes.
Matty Smith
Love a char grilled wing.
Zack Amico
People that don't know that means the wing goes in the deep fryer and then on the grill.
Matty Smith
Sometimes you do the sauce first.
Drew
Yes.
Matty Smith
And then the grill.
Zack Amico
Yeah. So. And then it almost like. And so it has grill mark. It's like burn marks on it. Then you use the shitty pizza to get the rest of the wing sauce.
Drew
Yeah, like that.
Zack Amico
And then you get hammered at two in the afternoon watching the Bills, and no one kicks you out.
Matty Smith
Yeah, yeah, it's great.
Zack Amico
You can fall asleep on the bar.
Matty Smith
Yeah, great.
Drew
I've only had good times in Buffalo. I've only been a few times, but, yeah, it's always. Always fun.
Matty Smith
It's always fun.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
Everyone's nice in the summer. Fun as winter. Still fun. Just so cold.
Drew
Same with Syracuse. Yeah. It snows nine months a year, but in the summer, it's the most beautiful place.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah. I ride for that place, dude.
Matty Smith
And that's the winter. Lasts so long that when it gets, like, above 60, you're in such a good mood.
Drew
Yes.
Matty Smith
You're like, I thought it wasn't ever gonna end because It'll be like, June 1st and it's like 50 degrees still.
Drew
What's in between Syracuse and Buffalo? What's the middle point?
Matty Smith
Rochester.
Drew
No, no, smaller town.
Matty Smith
Batavia.
Drew
We should take that over.
Matty Smith
Let's take over Batavia.
Zack Amico
Yeah, that'll be your Austin.
Drew
What a. Yeah, we get everyone to move to Batavia.
Matty Smith
Shane's like, I'm coming up.
Zack Amico
We're getting all these dumb Bert Kreischer.
Matty Smith
Tom Segura, and then everyone with a disability. I just moved to Batavia.
Zack Amico
We'll call it B. Tavia.
Matty Smith
Boom. Let's go. Yeah, it's like the Nate Bargazzi theme park, which I heard is happening. Is that true?
Drew
Is it?
Matty Smith
That's what I heard. Nateland.
Drew
I don't think that's a theme park. I think that's just.
Zack Amico
Well, it's his podcast.
Matty Smith
No, but I think he's trying to make a theme park. Yeah.
Drew
God damn. I need money.
Matty Smith
I'm desperate.
Zack Amico
His fans came out to story wars hard.
Matty Smith
Really? He did Story Wars?
Zack Amico
No, but his fans, because they know Legion of Skanks are friends with Nate.
Matty Smith
Right.
Zack Amico
And a lady took a picture with Lewis and I just put my, my middle finger behind them.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
She posted it and blocked it.
Matty Smith
Oh, yeah.
Zack Amico
And she's like, almost couldn't post this because of the obscene gesture. One of the comedians.
Matty Smith
Clean Comedy. Clean comedy.
Zack Amico
That's. And then they came to see us at Story Wars.
Drew
Yeah. Meanwhile, she's taking a picture with Lewis.
Matty Smith
Yeah. And that was that In Nashville.
Zack Amico
That was the zany. Yeah.
Matty Smith
Clean comedy. Dude. I did a. I did a comedy club and I was looking at my tickets, I pulled up my thing and right next to my face, it said a warning in like size 72 font, explicit content.
Zack Amico
And I asked for that.
Matty Smith
Really?
Zack Amico
I asked for that. I asked for adults only.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
And I say, like, whatever adult themes.
Matty Smith
Okay. I was like, this is going to throw off my sales the week after me, Bobby Lee. No warning. Motherfucker gets naked. They should have a warning for clean comedy.
Drew
Yeah, Warning, warning.
Zack Amico
This sucks.
Matty Smith
Boring.
Zack Amico
No, I asked her that.
Matty Smith
Yeah. I think mine are all 21 plus.
Zack Amico
I actually had it because we did a movie marathon last week in Colorado for my movie company and we were shown one of the movies I'm in. That's pretty rough. There's a lot of titties and some penises in it.
Matty Smith
Sounds great to me.
Zack Amico
And a family walked in with what I can, I think was an eight year old girl. And they're. They're scoping it out. And I walked up to the dad and I was like, hey, sir, I. I really don't think this is appropriate for children. I don't, I don't think this is a good idea. He goes, ah, she seemed terrifier. She's fine. And I was like, sir, there's a lot of nudity in this. And he goes, ah, she'll be okay. And I was like, sir, I really want you to go.
Matty Smith
No, I leave.
Zack Amico
I was like, you gotta go.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
I did a show one time at a. This is the craziest, like, opportunity to do comedy afterwards. But they were doing a adopt a puppy drive.
Matty Smith
Okay.
Drew
Like people could come get puppies with their kids. And then they did a comedy show after it. And it was like me and three other people, none of us were build or like, supposed to be clean comics, knew it was a clean comedy show. And then right before they were like, hey, like, try and keep it clean. Everyone does 30. It was just like a past the mic. Everyone do 30 minutes. And dude, I was bombing so hard, and I don't have anywhere near clean. 30 minutes. And I forget what joke I was doing. I was trying to like, keep it somewhat not wild. And this lady stood up, she was like, come on, man, there's kids in here. And I was like, I got nothing else for you. You want me to tap dance, lady? Yeah, I'm gonna talk about this damn abortion and call it something else. By the way, Extraction of kids.
Zack Amico
You are are not the only person who has performed for dogs. I did a. I did a benefit show for dogs, for veterans, for like helper. For Helper dogs.
Drew
It's the worst set up for.
Zack Amico
And they all brought dog. The whole front row was dogs.
Matty Smith
Chaos.
Drew
Yeah, dude. It's kids holding their new puppy and I'm up there bombing, talking about abortion.
Matty Smith
So I had an STD scare.
Zack Amico
All I could do.
Drew
Well, 30 funny minutes of clean adopt dog material.
Matty Smith
Luckily it was all.
Zack Amico
It was all veterans.
Drew
Yeah.
Zack Amico
And their talks. So I went up and I knew I could be a piece of shit.
Drew
Yeah.
Zack Amico
And so the con before me was black kid Calvin Kato. I was like, guys, first of all, give it up for these dogs. You're not barking at Calvin.
Matty Smith
He's gay too.
Zack Amico
And that murdered.
Matty Smith
That's great. That's great.
Zack Amico
All right, let's get one. You know what? I think we can. We can sneak one more in. What do you say?
Matty Smith
Absolutely.
Zack Amico
All right, what do we got here? Yeah, let's look at. Let's look at Cardi B's butt. Yeah.
Matty Smith
Yes, please.
Zack Amico
Close it on butts. You know I love butts.
Matty Smith
Hey. Hey.
Zack Amico
Wow. There's like full. Like you can see your lips.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Looks like red bone.
Drew
I mean, I'm a feminist, dude, but if my mom was doing this, I'd be real pissed.
Zack Amico
That's why child. She used to full homosexual mouth. Good for her.
Matty Smith
Good for her.
Zack Amico
I mean, that's a woman.
Matty Smith
If I could move it like that, I. I would her.
Drew
Her baby.
Zack Amico
If I could move it like that, I'd be red bone.
Matty Smith
Exactly, exactly.
Drew
Her baby daddy is doing corny right now, dude.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
I don't know if you've seen Offset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy's going out corny, dude. He. So they got divorced and now she's dating Stefan Diggs, who's a.
Matty Smith
Wait, she is?
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
I didn't know that.
Drew
He's a receiver in the end.
Zack Amico
Thank God I have you guys to keep me tapped into black culture.
Matty Smith
Exactly.
Zack Amico
I know.
Matty Smith
On the Patriots now.
Drew
Yeah, he's on the Patriots recently traded.
Zack Amico
You guys have to know he's really good player. The last time I was here with regular white people, we talked about Weird Al going on stage with Yo Gaba Gabba.
Matty Smith
Yeah. So that ain't us.
Drew
Yeah, that ain't us wilding out.
Matty Smith
Yeah, we wild squad. Wait, I didn't know they were dating.
Drew
Yeah, they're dating.
Matty Smith
That's awesome.
Drew
But so I thought he was gay. Offset has now been sending sex tapes that he and Cardi B had made while they were still together. And he's sending that to Stefan Diggs. Like, look what I did with Horny As. That's so lame.
Matty Smith
And she'll be owning him on Twitter. Like, she'll post screenshots and.
Drew
Yeah, just be like, you're tiny. Thirsty.
Matty Smith
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zack Amico
What is. You can't embarrass her.
Drew
No.
Zack Amico
Calling Cardi B a slut is, like, calling me fat.
Matty Smith
And, like, I'm not.
Zack Amico
Yeah, okay.
Matty Smith
Totally. And sending the sex tapes, you're like, yeah, I would hope you guys.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
And now I'm her.
Drew
Yeah.
Matty Smith
And I'm an NFL player.
Drew
Well, also, like, what. What's he expecting? Expect to get back from that because he's already her. So, like, it. Worst case scenario is Stefan Diggs now sends him a sex tape.
Matty Smith
I know. Yeah.
Drew
He's like, oh, yeah, exactly.
Zack Amico
And is she pregnant right now, or.
Drew
No, I don't think so. Yeah, she just had one. Did she just have one?
Zack Amico
I don't know.
Matty Smith
I don't think she had a kid.
Drew
They had one a few years ago.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Drew
But, yeah.
Matty Smith
Culture.
Drew
Culture.
Matty Smith
I don't think she has another kid, though.
Zack Amico
Her kid's name Culture.
Matty Smith
Yeah. Okay.
Drew
Culture be B. Yeah, their last name.
Matty Smith
Is B, but you know how they do.
Zack Amico
Yes, I do.
Matty Smith
Nick Cannon's kids. One of them is named Zilian Air. Zillionaire. Another one.
Zack Amico
Zilian Air. A I R. H E I R I R. You know what?
Drew
That's a fake unattainable number.
Matty Smith
It's fire.
Zack Amico
That's pretty fun.
Matty Smith
One of them is Powerful Queen.
Drew
No.
Matty Smith
Zion. Onyx.
Drew
Onyx. Powerful Queen is.
Zack Amico
Wait, that's a Pokemon. Onyx is a Pokemon.
Matty Smith
I know. The other one's Geodude, pidgey, squirtle, rattata. Mr.
Zack Amico
Mime.
Matty Smith
Rapidash. Rapidash is on the way. Snorlax, Articuno, Caterpie.
Zack Amico
All right, we're calling it there. Thank you, guys. Please check out Maddie Smith's Madhouse. Check out out Deer, Durag and the Deer Tag, as well as Digital Bazooka.
Drew
Thank you.
Zack Amico
Support these guys on the road. Let's get. We didn't do plugs. Matty, go ahead.
Matty Smith
Oh, hey, yeah, guys, you can follow me at. So, Maddie Smith. I'm on the road always. And I'm gonna be in Philly on April 30th. So you live around there. Come to Philly. Helium.
Drew
I'll be there.
Matty Smith
That's right. Thank you. Other cities include Tulsa, Oklahoma City, like in Albuquerque, Fort Collins. Oh, Naples, Florida. So come on down. Oh, and if you live in Jersey, Comedy Dojo, May 31. Mattie Smith in Morris Plains, New Jersey.
Drew
Nice.
Zack Amico
Very fun, Drew.
Drew
Just the podcast, duragging, the deer tag, digital Bazooka. And then I'm starting to go on the road more myself and with Naim this year. So Chicago, Columbus, Denver, Louisiana, bunch of stuff. Let's go tap in. Come see us.
Zack Amico
Very cool. If you want to see me live, go to Punchup Live. Zack Amico. This weekend, I am in Las Vegas with Juggalo Championship Wrestling. We're doing a free show Saturday night at midnight in the same place Skank Fest was notoriety right where that ring was. And then next week, I'm on tour with JCW all week. You can check my Instagram at. Zach is not funny for all those dates as well. Thank you so much for tuning in. And we've got an exclusive show Friday for subscribers, so use that promo code, zoom. And we'll see you Friday here on Sakamiko's Morning Zoo.
Matty Smith
Yeah.
Zack Amico
Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Akamiko morning, too. It's Acme Go Morning.
Zac Amico's Morning Zoo — Episode 0002: Dru Montana and Maddy Smith
Release Date: April 20, 2025
Host/Author: GaS Digital Network
Duration: Approximately 77 minutes
Introduction and Setup
Zac Amico's Morning Zoo kicks off with its signature high-energy vibe, blending humor with unconventional discussions. Hosted by Zac Amico alongside regular contributors Matty Smith and Drew, the episode sets the tone for a chaotic yet entertaining morning.
[01:22]
Zac Amico welcomes new listeners, highlighting the show's presence on GaS Digital Network and promoting exclusive membership benefits using the promo code "Zoo."
Zac Amico: "If you're just tuning in for the first time, we love you. Thank you."
Amanda Bynes and OnlyFans Discussion
The first major topic centers around Amanda Bynes launching an OnlyFans account—a surprising move given her Nickelodeon background. The hosts humorously speculate on her motives and the potential trajectory of her content.
[03:00]
Matty Smith cuts in, questioning the sincerity of Bynes' non-smutty intentions.
Matty Smith: "She started OnlyFans."
Zac Amico: "Amanda Bynes with catch Shannon. Tell us about it."
Shannon explains that Bynes aims to interact with fans without explicit content, a claim met with skepticism.
Shannon: "So the catch is she is not doing anything smutty. She is only going to do it to interact with her fans."
The conversation quickly shifts to mocking the idea of maintaining such boundaries, with Matty and Drew predicting Bynes will eventually delve into more provocative content.
Matty Smith: "Which means slippery slope."
Drew: "I'm about to drop my first foot pic."
Dan Schneider and Harvey Weinstein Anecdotes
Zac shares personal anecdotes from his early career, revealing connections to controversial figures like Dan Schneider and Harvey Weinstein. The hosts navigate these sensitive topics with a blend of humor and disdain.
[05:00]
Zac recounts working as a security guard and his experiences with Schneider and Weinstein.
Zac Amico: "I have worked for Dan Schneider and Harvey Weinstein, and I just can't get raped in this motherfucker."
Matty confirms the severity of these experiences, emphasizing their negative impact.
Shortwave Radio and Conspiracy Theories
Shannon introduces a segment on mysterious shortwave radio transmissions from the Cold War era. The group delves into conspiracy theories surrounding the station's cryptic messages.
[18:45]
Zac explains the intrigue behind UVB 76's sporadic word broadcasts.
Zac Amico: "There is a shortwave radio station that's been going since the Cold War in silent, just static."
Shannon breaks down the possible meanings of the words transmitted, ranging from naval operations to psychological operations intended to sow confusion.
Shannon: "Neptune could reference naval operations, especially considering Ukraine's Neptune anti-ship missile and recent maritime tensions."
The hosts humorously interpret the messages, intertwining personal anecdotes and speculative theories.
Matty Smith: "That's code for destroy America."
Comedy Club Experiences and Crowd Violence
A significant portion of the episode focuses on the hosts' experiences with violent audiences at comedy clubs. They share stories of being physically attacked and the broader implications for the comedy scene.
[25:00]
Zac narrates an incident where an audience member, Marvin Toatley, assaulted comedian Steve Brown, leading to severe injuries.
Matty Smith: "You gotta have tough skin these days if you go into a place like that."
Drew: "He was snatched his chain like, 20 years ago."
Shannon provides updates on the case, revealing that Toatley was charged and remains in critical condition.
Shannon: "They all suffered severe burn injuries and were rushed to the hospital. Two of them remain in critical condition."
The discussion highlights the increasing dangers comedians face, with Zac reflecting on past incidents and the necessity of security.
Zac Amico: "We live in a post Dimebag Darrell world. If anyone who's not supposed to be part of the show is trying to get on stage, you have to assume they might be doing something violent."
Game Shows and Media Satire
Shannon brings up Fox Nation's new game show concept where isolated individuals guess President Trump's first 90 days in office. The hosts critique the idea, blending mockery with satire.
[53:00]
Matty laments the corniness of Greg Gutfeld, expressing disdain for the show's lack of substance.
Matty Smith: "He loves himself so much. He's such a cornball."
Zac and Matty discuss the evolution of the show from Red Eye to Greg Gutfeld's current format, mocking the often absurd nature of televised game shows.
[54:03]
Zac Amico: "They put four people in complete isolation... then quizzed on Trump's scenarios... and the grand prize is $50,000."
The hosts humorously question the veracity and entertainment value of such formats.
Food and Local Cuisine Conversations
A lighter segment involves the hosts discussing regional foods, particularly focusing on breakfast varieties and pizza nuances across different cities like Philadelphia, Buffalo, and Rochester.
[62:00]
Zac reminisces about his family's encounters with MLB-related food establishments.
Zac Amico: "I asked for that. I asked for adults only."
Matty and Drew join in, sharing their own experiences with unique local dishes like the notorious "garbage plate," highlighting the intersection of food and cultural identity.
Matty Smith: "That's the Rochester breakfast."
Celebrity Culture and Personal Stories
The conversation shifts to celebrity relationships and personal interactions, including discussions about Offset and Cardi B's tumultuous relationship and the playful yet critical banter among the hosts.
[73:00]
Matty and Drew joke about Offset's public disputes and relationships, blending celebrity gossip with personal humor.
Drew: "She started hooking up with Luigi on the couch."
Lightning Safety and Informal Education
In a brief educational interlude, the hosts attempt to explain lightning mechanics, showcasing their humorous take on making sense of scientific phenomena.
[50:00]
Matty Smith: "What are they? Don't pay attention to anything."
Shannon aids the discussion by providing actual information, though the hosts continue to joke about their lack of understanding.
Closing and Promotions
As the episode wraps up, Zac, Matty, and Drew promote their respective shows and upcoming tour dates, encouraging listeners to join them in various cities. The camaraderie and playful teasing conclude the episode on a high note.
[75:50]
Matty Smith: "I'm on the road always. And I'm gonna be in Philly on April 30th."
Zac Amico: "If you want to see me live, go to Punchup Live."
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion
Episode 0002 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo delivers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and edgy discussions, encapsulating the show's essence of twisted takes on news and wild stories. From celebrity gossip and comedy club chaos to bizarre news items and regional food debates, the hosts maintain a dynamic and engaging dialogue. Notable moments include their skeptical take on Amanda Bynes' OnlyFans venture, recounting violent incidents in comedy clubs, and their playful dissection of quirky game show concepts. This episode is a testament to Zac Amico's Morning Zoo's unique approach to morning radio—unhinged, irreverent, and endlessly entertaining.
Connect with the Hosts:
Matty Smith: Follow on Social Media
Upcoming Shows: Philly (April 30th), Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Albuquerque, Fort Collins, Naples, Florida, and Morris Plains, New Jersey.
Drew: Follow on Social Media
Upcoming Shows: Chicago, Columbus, Denver, Louisiana, and more.
Zac Amico: Instagram
Upcoming Shows: Las Vegas with Juggalo Championship Wrestling, Punchup Live events.
Support the Show:
Become a member using promo code "Zoo" at Rakuten and join 17 million members already saving and supporting.
Tune in Next Week:
Continue the chaos with Dru Montana and Maddy Smith as they dive into more weird news, wild stories, and pure morning madness.