0006. Mike Rainey

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0006: Mike Rainey

Release Date: May 4, 2025 | Host: GaS Digital Network

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1. Introduction and Guest Welcome

Timestamp: [01:36 – 02:32]

The episode kicks off with Zac Amico warmly welcoming his co-hosts Shannon and Jorge, along with an enthusiastic chat participant, Bing Bong. Zac introduces his guest, Mike Rainey, describing him as "one of Philadelphia's finest" and expressing genuine affection.

• Zach Amico [01:36]: "Good morning, good morning, good morning. And they need a fun morning."
• Zach Amico [01:50]: "Fuck yeah I am. Let's have some fucking fun."

Mike reciprocates the camaraderie, appreciating the playful banter and expressing his excitement about being on the show.

• Mike Rainey [02:20]: "Amico's got a show Animals are here."
• Mike Rainey [02:27]: "Thank you. I appreciate that greatly. You know I fucking love you pal."

2. Promotional Exchange

Timestamp: [02:49 – 03:13]

Zac and Mike take a moment to share promotional content. Mike highlights his new book, "Terrible Advice for Lovers," and his upcoming podcast, "Getting Some Head." Zac reciprocates by promoting his live events with JCW and encouraging listeners to subscribe to GaS Digital with a special promo code.

• Mike Rainey [02:49]: "I just want to promote my new book Terrible Advice for lovers [e-mail]..."
• Zach Amico [03:13]: "If you want to see me live, go to Punchup Live. Zack Amico..."

3. Robert De Niro's Transgender Child: Discussion on Race and Gender Identity

Timestamp: [04:28 – 14:02]

The conversation shifts to a provocative topic: Robert De Niro's child, Aaron, coming out as transgender and celebrating his Black female identity. Mike and Zac engage in a candid and humorous debate about race, identity, and societal perceptions.

• Zach Amico [04:28]: "Robert De Niro, former son Aaron, now daughter Aaron comes out as transgender."
• Mike Rainey [04:28]: "That's the hallmark of success... you can't reach that point."
• Zach Amico [05:15]: "I think she's a really big one and a really little one so I could give them silly nicknames."

The discussion delves into mixed-race beauty standards, societal expectations, and personal anecdotes, highlighting the hosts' irreverent humor and unfiltered perspectives.

4. True Crime Segment: Lori Valo Daybell Case

Timestamp: [29:00 – 36:53]

Shannon introduces a true crime segment detailing the gruesome case of Lori Valo Daybell. The narrative covers Lori's descent into an extremist Mormon sect led by Chad Daybell, her subsequent murders of her husband and children, and her eventual conviction.

• Audible Voice [30:29]: "Lori Valo Daybell, originally, she was Mormon... she has two near death experiences."
• Zach Amico [32:39]: "Do you wanna... just run through this."
• Mike Rainey [35:44]: "Shannon, do you have a picture of her?"

The segment provides a chilling overview of the crimes, exploring themes of cult influence, familial betrayal, and the tragic outcomes stemming from extremist beliefs.

• Zach Amico [35:36]: "Do they know how she killed the kids?"
• Audible Voice [35:44]: "So this is her brother. She has had multiple killings attributed to her actions."

5. "Murder Dog" Segment: Woman Keeps Dog After Nose-Biting Incident

Timestamp: [46:06 – 51:23]

In a darkly humorous segment, the hosts discuss a bizarre case where a woman chooses to keep her dog despite the animal having bitten off her nose. The conversation blends macabre humor with storytelling, highlighting the hosts' penchant for shock value.

• Zach Amico [46:10]: "Woman says she's keeping her dog of 11 years even though he bit off her nose."
• Mike Rainey [47:05]: "Yeah, you kind of have to, man. I mean, once you hit the 10 year mark, you're kind of stuck with him."

This segment underscores the show's commitment to exploring extreme and unusual stories, often blending humor with unsettling content.

6. Technology Segment: Meta's Celebrity Chatbots and Content Issues

Timestamp: [51:23 – 54:44]

The hosts delve into a discussion about Meta's AI chatbots using celebrity voices and their inappropriate interactions with minors. They critique the technology's potential for abuse and the ethical implications of AI engaging in sexual conversations with underage users.

• Audible Voice [52:09]: "Meta's celebrity voice chat bots could discuss sex with minors..."
• Zach Amico [52:55]: "I have seen it really took his heel turn seriously."
• Mike Rainey [53:11]: "He is their leader."

The segment highlights concerns over AI misuse, the responsibilities of tech companies, and the potential societal impacts of such technologies.

7. Personal Anecdotes and Humor: Urination Stories

Timestamp: [63:14 – 76:23]

In a series of humorous and explicit exchanges, Zac and Mike share personal stories related to urination mishaps. These anecdotes range from embarrassing accidents to bawdy humor about bodily functions, showcasing the hosts' carefree and edgy comedic style.

• Mike Rainey [62:19]: "I pissed myself in first grade and I came close in sixth grade."
• Zach Amico [63:08]: "But also, let's see this lady's fucked up nose."

The lighthearted and often crude nature of these stories emphasizes the show's irreverent tone and the hosts' comfort with discussing taboo subjects.

8. Closing Remarks and Future Episodes

Timestamp: [76:23 – End]

As the episode winds down, Zac and Mike wrap up with final humorous exchanges, further promoting their respective projects and teasing upcoming content. They express gratitude towards their listeners and encourage continued engagement.

• Zach Amico [77:37]: "Please check out Little Stinkers dad meat and get in some head."
• Mike Rainey [78:13]: "Thank you, buddy."

The episode concludes on a high-energy note, maintaining the show's signature blend of chaos, humor, and candid conversation.

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Notable Quotes

• Zach Amico [04:28]: "Robert De Niro, former son Aaron, now daughter Aaron comes out as transgender."
• Mike Rainey [35:44]: "Shannon, do you have a picture of her?"
• Zach Amico [63:32]: "I think you have to have a traumatic piss experience in your developmental years to either have the shame kink or to be attracted to the smell."

Key Takeaways

• Humor and Irreverence: The show thrives on unfiltered humor, often delving into explicit and controversial topics with a comedic twist.
• Diverse Topics: From celebrity news and true crime to shocking animal stories and technology ethics, the episode covers a broad spectrum of subjects.
• Engaged Hosts: Zac and Mike demonstrate strong chemistry, seamlessly transitioning between serious discussions and humorous banter.
• Audience Interaction: The inclusion of chat comments and call-ins fosters a sense of community and participation among listeners.

Note: This episode contains mature language and explicit content that may not be suitable for all audiences.

Transcript

[Audible Voice]

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[Zach Amico]

Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go Zach.

[Mike Rainey]

Amico's got a show Animals are here.

[Zach Amico]

To play Choke some guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more.

[Mike Rainey]

Sleep Eat some eggs and cook some.

[Zach Amico]

Beef Map is waiting don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew It's a Miko morning soup Woo woo.

[Mike Rainey]

Wake up, wake.

[Zach Amico]

Well Good morning. Good morning, good morning. And they need a fun morning. It's a Wednesday here on Zack Amico's Morning Zoo. Let's have some fun. What do you say? We got Shannon and Jorge in the booth. We got Bing bong in the chat saying whoop whoop. Because people don't believe this show is live for some reason. So suck my dick from the back. Hola Zacky Boo. Zacky's chipper today. Fuck yeah I am. Let's have some fucking fun. Across the table from me, one of Philadelphia's finest and one of my favorite people in the world from dad. Meeting little stinkers, it's Mike Rainey.

[Mike Rainey]

Zach, thank you for having me. More importantly, the words suck my dick from the back have never seemed more poetic coming out of another person's mouth, man.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you. I appreciate that greatly. You know I fucking love you pal.

[Mike Rainey]

I love you too.

[Zach Amico]

This is very nice. It's gonna be a one on one today cuz our other guest was black and canceled last night. No, it was Naim and he couldn't make it in today and we love him very much. So me and Mike are gonna be hanging out today and let's get plugs out of the way. Mike, what do you want people to check out?

[Mike Rainey]

Doggy, I just want to send Will was just Naim on his grape juice accident. And on top of that too, I just Want to promote my new book Terrible Advice for lovers [e-mail] and also, you know, dad me with the funniest guy on the planet, Tim Butterly Little Snickers with my homies, John Del Carlo, Jake Matera, True Crime. And then finally I have a new podcast called Getting Some Head. It's an interview podcast and if you have time sometime in the near future, I would love to interview you.

[Zach Amico]

I absolutely would love to do that, my friend. I appreciate it. If you want to see me live, go to Punchup Live. Zack Amico. I actually have a weekend off but I am going back on the road with JCW in May and we are doing a run all through the south up to Liverpool, New York. Six day run. Should be pretty fucking fun. And if you love the show and I hope you do, go to gas digital.com today, the new Gas Digital and use the promo code Zoo Z O O and you get a dollar fifty off a month. You get access to the archives, over a thousand episodes of real life podcasts and Lewis and Zach, all the other great shows on the network. You get episodes early ad free and uncensored as well as you get to participate in the racist live chat. Like this nice picture of a lady's butthole and this other nice picture of a lady on a bed and this south park meme. So thank you guys for tuning in. Let's get to the, let's get to the hard hitting news of the day. Robert De Niro, former son Aaron, now daughter Aaron comes out as transgender.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh man. That's the hallmark of success. Like, you know, you've achieved a level of wealth and success when your kids trans that it really is that I can reach that point.

[Zach Amico]

I think it used to be like flies around the head. African, you go pick one out.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, I thought you meant they, they trans and Africans.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no.

[Mike Rainey]

They start wearing losing team T shirts. Airdropped in the Somalia.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think it used to be like fly around the head, the third world kid. Now it's I, I'm so rich.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That my child doesn't know what gender they are. Dude.

[Mike Rainey]

There was a point where, when, when the Phillies won the World Series, there was a guy named Cole Hamills. Like instantly, he and his wife bought two black kids and it's like, that's an impulse buy. That's a, that's a wealth impulse buy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was, that was window shopping. I always think, are they trying to build a new team when they do that? It's always Go to the doctor and you pick up like three 20 year olds and you just fake the birth certificates and make them 12.

[Mike Rainey]

If you were shopping for a person, what would you be looking for?

[Zach Amico]

What am I looking? You know what? I think I'm looking. I think I would want a really big one and a really little one so I could give them silly nicknames.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Like tiny and stretch or something. All right.

[Mike Rainey]

Both African or multinational.

[Zach Amico]

Multinational. I think the best looking people are mixed.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I would go half black, half something.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, it's a roll of the dice. I think mixed race people are either the most beautiful people you've ever seen or look like a pit bull that got hit by an ice cream truck.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I would go maybe a black Asian.

[Mike Rainey]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

And then curveball, I would go a Jewish Asian. Man, I never even considered that because here's the thing. I got one of those under the belt and tiny Asian, cute Asian face, fat tits. Yeah, she got the Jew tits, dude.

[Mike Rainey]

Well, I was just gonna say that one of my current things is thick Asians. So I'm with you on the fat tit stuff. I like an Asian with it with a bigger butt and they're hard to come by.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

I think if I was in the.

[Zach Amico]

Market, a big titty Asian, I've heard referred to as a unicorn. Oh, I never heard that because they're so rare. But yeah, the big, big titty Asian. Yeah, that's a. That's a plus. Like, as a dad, I wouldn't be as weirded out changing diapers because their genitals are pixelated. I just feel like I'm watching my child scrambled genitals also. And then in the. Jorge just brought up a picture of a very thick Asian. That's not a unicorn, that's a chunk.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, geez, look at her.

[Zach Amico]

God, that's a beautiful woman. That's a good piece of business.

[Mike Rainey]

Jorge, can you bring up Crystal Davis? That's. That's my current lady, Crystal Davis.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Mike Rainey]

Crystal with a K. Crystal. Yeah, that's her. The fourth one in.

[Zach Amico]

What's her. What's her story?

[Mike Rainey]

She's currently on the Hot Wife tour, which is rolling into town in Austin. Just so happens to be the weekend that I'm going to be there in June. So. But yeah, she's. She's a real goer. Her. Her big thing right now I think is a milking table. You ever see one?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Where you lay face down.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. And she's waiting for you there.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

And that's new to me and I can't get enough of it, man. I mean, she's at Exotica a lot. You've been to Exotica, I assume.

[Zach Amico]

I've never been to Exotica.

[Mike Rainey]

Dude, you got to treat yourself. It's not as sad as you might think it is.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like it's just going to be Indian dudes with T shirts tucked into jeans, dude.

[Mike Rainey]

I know. I thought the same thing going in there. And it was, it was fairly upbeat. And part of it was I went with Ryan Shaner and like you could.

[Zach Amico]

Upbeat was the guy in front of me in line waiting for an autograph from Alexis, Texas. I am number one fan, Alexis. My name up.

[Mike Rainey]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

I watch your films while I drive my cab all day.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. Thank you to whoever was watching the store for upbeat man. But yeah, I went with Shaner and he got to meet a lady who he had his eye on. And I've never seen Shaner nervous before. And he met a gigantic lady, beautiful. Her name was Rocky Emerson. Do you know her?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Mike Rainey]

She's a real beauty. But she's probably 62, I'm assuming.

[Zach Amico]

Probably they're. They're posting Crystal in the chat and that's a sturdy woman, dude.

[Mike Rainey]

She is. Yeah. And she's. She, she's a. A MILF by any standard.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Mike Rainey]

But yeah, that's Rocky Emerson.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

I get a drink of water.

[Zach Amico]

I get it.

[Mike Rainey]

And her compared to Shaner, that would be like the. Your one big one, one little one. Yeah, that was like porno twins.

[Zach Amico]

That's fun. I like that. I like that a lot. There's a seven footer I've been in. Oh, you Metro Rogan. There's a seven footer I've been looking at on Instagram that's a real piece.

[Mike Rainey]

A white lady.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

What's her name?

[Zach Amico]

I can't. She, she. It's seven foot something.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

It's just a lot of pictures of her in like doorways and is it.

[Mike Rainey]

Like hardcore stuff she does or just.

[Zach Amico]

I think she. I think it's mostly modeling. Dude, she's a piece.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I've.

[Audible Voice]

Is this her?

[Zach Amico]

This might be her. Yeah. Oh yeah. Because that's her and me. Wait, got the third picture. That's what it would look like if I was next to her because I'm 510 and look like that lady. Yeah. So that, that's what I would look like standing next to my. My, my future tall.

[Mike Rainey]

Is that Gorlock?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that is Gorlock.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay. Yeah, I would probably buy one of her if I was buying a person.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

I think she'd just be fun to have around, and I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

I guess I think she would be tiresome.

[Mike Rainey]

Take care of the bugs. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, No, I think she'd be no fun.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She doesn't want to go out. She doesn't want to do shit.

[Mike Rainey]

You. I think you'd have to put her outside like a dog.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Even though she wants to chill on the couch all day, you have to set her.

[Zach Amico]

So she'd be an outside girl.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. She'd be scratching at the door.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She gets her own pen. Okay. That makes sense. But, you know. So let's check out Aaron De Niro. Not only. So we forget. Robert De Niro, quite the connoisseur of. Of the African American ladies. So not only is Aaron De Niro transgender, she is celebrating her black female hood. You should. And she's very proud to be a black woman.

[Audible Voice]

So she was also a twin. So this is the twins before. This is.

[Zach Amico]

This is, by the way, De Niro has, like, a new baby. Right.

[Mike Rainey]

He's constantly having more.

[Zach Amico]

God bless.

[Mike Rainey]

And he's. I Bet he's pushing 82, but.

[Zach Amico]

So these are the twins. And now, by the way, I will say pretty. A little bit.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

A little bit. I have nipples, dad. Can you milk me?

[Mike Rainey]

Do you think there was any point during that. That kid's childhood where De Niro was, like, something might be up, like the kids, like, smacking an imaginary weave.

[Zach Amico]

You talking to they them? It looks to me like you're talking to they them. No, go down the street. We got some dresses for you, Aaron. No, go down. He's got some dresses a little bit more down. Aaron, got some nice dresses for you. Yeah. There's any more photos of them or. I just saw that they're celebrating that they're the history of powerful black women in their lives. That. What, you know, hey, we're all a work in progress.

[Mike Rainey]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think that's. That's.

[Mike Rainey]

That's a pretty girl.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Audible Voice]

Also, he has seven kids in total. Robert De Niro, all black. Shannon, I believe so. Hold on. I have it on the other one. Let me just find it real quick.

[Zach Amico]

Well, because he had one. I think he's been married to the same woman twice. I think he married a chick, got divorced, married another one, got divorced, and married the first one again.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Or at least that was the deal at one point, because I was watching Don Rickles make fun of him for it.

[Audible Voice]

So this one is he had with this woman actress, Tookie.

[Zach Amico]

That sounds like what I would call her. That sounds like what his family named her. Yeah, your papa Tookie.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, her name's Sharon. Grandpa.

[Audible Voice]

And these are, these are four of the kids.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, that's fucking cred. You're half black, half De Niro.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, my God, man.

[Zach Amico]

The Negro hood.

[Mike Rainey]

Fellas.

[Zach Amico]

It's so fun. I guess it's just been such a known thing because I remember in SNL where he played Thomas Jefferson and not understanding why it was funny, much older.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I didn't know about that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he, he did. It was like a later era snl and it was just him like interviewing slaves.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, good sport, man.

[Zach Amico]

They might, that, that might be a tough one to find, but yeah. Hey, good, Aaron. Good for you. Welcome. You're every woman and we accept you and we love you.

[Mike Rainey]

I admire his commitment, man, because usually that seems like the kind of thing where a guy of that level of wealth, fame, and good looking guy too. It seems like kind of like a niche market. Like you have like, you know, a black summer or something like that. But to be able to stick that through decades, that really says something about.

[Zach Amico]

It also says something about a Bronx tale. What attracted him to the script? Like, I feel like he was leaving.

[Mike Rainey]

Through it and he's like, oh, smelling the pages.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Cocoa butter. Chaz. Chaz. We have something in common. Okay, so actually, let's bring it up. We have a tighter night. This girl is 6, 8, 3 hundo. Let's see how we feel. Beauty. So this is Angel Fernandez and I was looking at her on Instagram because now my, my algorithm has become cartoonish women of all shapes and sizes.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And how do we feel? Six, eight, three hundo.

[Mike Rainey]

Absolute beauty, man.

[Zach Amico]

I would say not what's bad, you little fucker? I would say toit. I like her with that. The Afro, the natural.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I think that looks great. I'm partial to ladies who look like they have trouble getting out of furniture.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, I know what you mean. Yeah. That's just somebody in the chat just said death by snooze. New. And I think that is the. Yeah, that's, that's, that is the. That's what you want.

[Mike Rainey]

And one thing I would like about being with her is like, I have a feeling she's inclined to crack you. You know, if there's something, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I thought you meant like just pick you up and crack your back every once in a while. Give me a stand up straight, bitch.

[Mike Rainey]

Come get a ring, dinger.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's a. That's a. That's a gal, huh?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, that's.

[Zach Amico]

That's fun. Okay. I guarantee you it's fun.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. And I. I don't know. I don't know if maybe this has just been on my mind lately because the WNBA season's coming up, but. Yeah, this has been right up my alley. God, just. I love being able to rest your hands on your cheeks like that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That just. I mean, it would take some getting used to, positioning wise. Probably have to.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because I don't think if you're both on your knees, you're. You're getting an angle at it.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Have.

[Mike Rainey]

Have you been bigger than every woman you've been with?

[Zach Amico]

No, I have been with a woman taller than me.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. How was that?

[Zach Amico]

Pretty fun.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She was actually half black, half Pakistan. She was Blackistani. And she had a big natural afro like that. She was. She was tall and she had big combat boots on.

[Mike Rainey]

God, imagine the size of that burka.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she was a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was a big girl. She showed up, we met. That was my first day on OkCupid. I signed up at noon, two in the morning, she comes to my apartment on a bike in short shorts, drinking a water bottle full of wine.

[Mike Rainey]

Now, on the bike, did she look like a bear at the circus?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Mike Rainey]

Tricycle.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they actually nailed it to her feet.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She never learned to ride it. And. Yeah. She came over and she was just.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, it was so immediate. And no, never name. No names. I think I got her name on the third time we shook up. Yes.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Shakistani. And she was weird about giving me her name. Like, I think she really wanted it to be anonymous.

[Mike Rainey]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And then she asked if I had any other big, fat hairy friends who wanted to come over and her. Whoa. And I was like, it's. It's five in the morning. They're not up.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, man.

[Zach Amico]

But good luck. And then I festered her.

[Mike Rainey]

Did she ask for that or was that.

[Zach Amico]

That was her request.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

She goes, I was. It was not a great review of my dick.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

After having sex twice, she went, do you want to fist me? I was like. That literally, I think was just the last ditch. Like, I don't know. Try the whole arm, slappy. See if I can feel anything.

[Mike Rainey]

Do you think if you declined fisting her, you think she would have made you faster?

[Zach Amico]

I think she would have challenged me, but I was like, hey, is he. That's her Thing and she knew her way around. It wasn't. It wasn't a long process.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay. Was that your first time fisting?

[Zach Amico]

Yes, it was. I think it's the only person I've had an entire hand inside.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, my God. You probably had a little tummy ache too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm doing this.

[Zach Amico]

Well, no, you go, you make the duck and then you go. And then you get kind of like that. And then once you get past, you can go fast.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And then. Yeah, then you're just. I don't know, then you feel silly.

[Mike Rainey]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

It's like the one inch punch from Kill Bill.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You're not trying to break a box.

[Mike Rainey]

I've never fisted, so I didn't know about the duck. It's like, all right. I would feel. All right. I'm instantly thinking Duck Dynasty. So I would feel compelled to scream the N word.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Mike Rainey]

At that point. Yes. Another duck and two in there and.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

And then not be allowed on a anymore.

[Zach Amico]

Rabbit season. Hey, guys, real quick. When the mood is right but nothing else is, HIMS is ready to help. HIMS gives men access to sexual health treatments that won't break the bank and will get you firing on all cylinders again. All you got to do is head to their website and fill out the intake form and a medical provider will determine the best treatment for you. You don't even need insurance. And one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care. Start your free online Visit [e-mail] Zoo that's H I M S.com Zoo for your personalized ED treatment options. Hims.com Zoo the featured products include compounded products which are not approved nor verified for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. Support the show and start your free online hymns today. It'll be in the show notes too. Head to hims.com zoom. Get your dick hard for the person you love, huh? Let's get back into the show. All right, what else we got? We got a lot more fun stuff going on. Here we go. So you see this thing online with a hundred men or one gorilla winning a fight? That's been the big debate. And I would like the chat to. To actually. You know what, Shannon? Tell them our phone number.

[Audible Voice]

You put it up. Do you have it there? It's a 877 gas line.

[Zach Amico]

877 gas line.

[Audible Voice]

Sorry, sorry. 573 gas.

[Zach Amico]

Five fucking motherfucker.

[Audible Voice]

Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Five, seven, three, gas line, call in, give us your opinion on one man versus a hundred men versus one gorilla. I will give you mine, and I'd like to hear Randy's. Mine is I go for the hundred men, but there will be casualties. All right, I think you're losing 5 or 6 of your front line to throat ripped out, eyes gouged out, neck snapped.

[Mike Rainey]

All right?

[Zach Amico]

But eventually 100 men are going to have a game plan and be able to each take limbs. But I think you're going to lose a few up top. Okay, what do you think?

[Mike Rainey]

I think it depends one upon the sex of the gorilla. And I'm saying this because I once got a gorilla to spread its legs and show me its pussy at the zoo.

[Zach Amico]

Excellent.

[Mike Rainey]

And I'm just. I mean, I'm one guy, so I don't know if you guys can pick up on that. But this. I was just standing by the gorilla enclosure and a guy. Yeah, a guy, A gorilla just set up right on the fucking platform and just showed me it's pussy.

[Audible Voice]

Mike, do you want to text it to me and then I can show it on you?

[Mike Rainey]

Gotcha.

[Audible Voice]

Also, we do have a caller, Zach, if you'd like to take them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, let's hear it. Yeah. Hey. Hey, brother, what's your name? Where are you calling from? David, from Northern California. David, thank you for tuning in, my friend. How you doing today? Oh, I'm doing great. Good to hear from you. So what's your opinion? 100 men or one gorilla? And why I would take hundred, like big guys, like the size of the rock versus the gorilla? Okay, what if, let's say a smorgasbord of men of all sizes, but the median is a regular, like six foot guy? Yeah, I think if they. We got like five guys on each arm, five guys on each leg, and somebody start twisting at the neck, started punching him in the kidneys till he freaking pissed out of his ass blood. You know what, you got a great point, my friend. Thank you for calling in. All right, we keep keep the calls coming. Five seven, three, Gaslight. Let's get your opinion.

[Mike Rainey]

Mr. Rainey, do you think there's any chance that if you try to, to sexually please the gorilla first, like kind of put him at ease a little bit and then start the attack? Like one guy would, would set himself up as like, like sexual chum.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Mike Rainey]

And he's like just pulling his cheeks apart and he's gonna.

[Zach Amico]

That's a great chum.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, it's my favorite band. By the way. Yeah, just. Just take one for the team. Just being one to just get his back blown out and waiting for, you know, somebody as tight. Gorilla's used to lose her. But if he's fucking just a regular average Joe, he's probably going to bust much more than he would normally bust. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Entire amount.

[Mike Rainey]

Yes. And as human, like, as. As gorillas are, I think he would want to take a little nap afterwards. And at that point he's come down, he's just blowing a guy's back out, so he's going to be a little bit winded. So that might be.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know, I feel like gorillas might be like a three pump and dump and then he's back to his day.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I feel like when you watch Animals, sometimes it's just like, hey, how are you? Pow.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So he might come and be. His refractory period might not be as long as we think.

[Mike Rainey]

And another thing, dude, is like, there's no. They're not going to put on airs. They're. They're very efficient animals and they're going to try to get the nut as quickly as possible.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

And he's just gorilla pumping right off the bat. So I would say less than 50 pumps, he's going to bust. And then you have an empty gorilla to work with.

[Audible Voice]

Okay, sorry. Whenever you're ready, we have another caller.

[Zach Amico]

Absolutely. One second question. Much like you do with a pitbull attacking, are we sending people directly at the asshole?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I think that. I think that's what we should be doing in any war overseas, too. Like, you just watched a Blackhawk Doubt down documentary. I think the way to defeat the. The Somalis is to just go right to the asshole, man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you send at least one or two dudes on asshole reconnaissance.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then. But then do you just make it mad? Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

If his boys are around, he's going to act like he doesn't play that gay shit, but if he's by himself, he's going to be like, yes, he's on the DL. Yeah, gorillas. That's what you got to hope for. Like, you can't have a straight gorilla. You got to have a DL gorilla.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's hear. Let's. Let's talk to our next caller, please. Hello, hello, what's your name? Where are you calling from, my friend? Hey, Zach. This is Paris from South Jersey. Shout out Mike Rainey. He's the man.

[Mike Rainey]

Yo, Paris.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah. Hope you're doing well today, my friend. What's your opinion on 100 men versus one gorilla? So there's no way. People don't realize the strength of a gorilla man. Like, he's just gonna pick up one dude by the ankle, smack another, and then, like, people are gonna get scared, you know? No, there's gonna be a plan, but the plan is going to go to Macrilla, is just going to go fuck everybody. All right, so you're going. You're going full team, girl. If you had to compare it to an adult man, what age range would you say that would make? Like, would it be similar to an adult man versus 4 year olds, 8 year olds? What do you think? Right, right. It'd be like adult man versus like six month old. All right, well, a very, very. I was very strong. Were to fight a gorilla, then maybe, just maybe would have to be 100 francs of Tinganis. Okay, well, Paris, now how do you tell who won? Hey, you know what, man? Thank you so much for calling in, my friend. I think Mike had a question for you, dad.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, yeah? What the was I gonna say? I. I forgot it, ma'am. You threw me off with Francis Ngannou, but I'm hard.

[Zach Amico]

Don't worry.

[Mike Rainey]

It's kind of up. Francis and Gano might be the blackest guy on earth, and they. He's so black that they added an end to the front of his name. Unne.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, thank you for calling and truly appreciate it, brother. Enjoy the show. So here's my question. Obviously, the first. My first line of defense. Got to pick if I'm drafting. Yeah, I'm going Lesnar.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay. Yeah, he's a solid pick just because.

[Zach Amico]

It'S brute strength meets technique. So he's got both. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Brock Lesnar might be the guy because I think the Rock has too much to lose. Whereas Brock Lesnar, he seems like he's. He can be genuinely unwell, whereas the Rock is business interest to worry about. I would think about throwing an insane big in there. Who do you think is the craziest big woman out there?

[Zach Amico]

I'm trying to. You go fighter. No, just swing it.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, just. Just a big nasty that the world might be aware of. Like something along the lines of, like the thousand pound sisters, who I know are now thin.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

So they wouldn't be good for this.

[Zach Amico]

But I don't think they would be, do you? I don't know. You get fat to a certain point where it's no longer fat strength, but.

[Mike Rainey]

I think a crazy fat girl might throw the gorilla off with it with maybe different pheromones. There's 99 guys and one woman.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

You might soften the gorilla. She seems like a strong contender. What is this lady? Is that one of De Niro's kids? Shannon.

[Audible Voice]

I put biggest women bodybuilders. Here's another one.

[Mike Rainey]

That's a big. And I think she's big enough as to where the gorilla. She might. The gorilla might be confused by that. There might be a point where the gorilla sees somebody that jacked and. Whereas.

[Zach Amico]

So you're going Bugs Bunny and suggesting a man dresses as a sexy lady gorilla. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

I think thinking logically from, like, a fight perspective is not going to work. You got to go Looney Tunes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Got to paint a wall on the side of the jungle.

[Zach Amico]

You ever hear the street joke about the black zookeeper?

[Mike Rainey]

I would love to hear it, though.

[Zach Amico]

So there's a zoo, and they're doing a big gala. Right. But you have to have a date. And the one janitor at the zoo is a black guy, and he doesn't really have a lot of friends there, so a lot of the. Kind of very clicky, the animal people. So he decides, you know, he wants to have a date.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

For. For the big gala. So he kind of goes around the zoo trying to figure out who he's gonna bring, and he sees one of the. The gorillas, and he goes, you know what? I have an idea. So he goes into the grill cage, shaves it completely bald, gets it a nice little red cocktail dress, puts lipstick on it, a purse, takes to the gal, right? And everyone can't put. Everyone can't stop looking. They walk down the red carpet. People are taking pictures. The owner of the zoo standing there, shakes his hand. The guy walks away. The owner of the zoo turns to his friend. He goes, every time I see a hot Italian woman, she's with a fucking. All right, let's keep it moving. You know what, Shannon? You worked very hard on this. You put some time in. I and Mr. Rainey are big fans of true crime. Yes. And apparently there's been a lot of shit about this lady Lori Valo Daybell. I am not very familiar with it. So, Shannon, take us down a true crime path and teach us some things.

[Audible Voice]

Okay, so Lori Valo Daybell, originally, she was Mormon. She grew up. She was a cheerleader, loved to be the center of attention. She was actually on Wheel of Fortune once. She attempted the pageant circuit a little bit. So she very pretty, very personable. She was married four times up until this point where we're about to Be. But in the Mormon religion, like, you're not supposed to have sex outside of marriage. So it's kind of like, you know, you have to get married to a bang. So she's on her fourth marriage, and it is to Charles Vallow. She, at this time, starts getting into this, like, extremist Mormon religious sect that is led by Chad Daybell. He was an author. He wrote lots of books, some of them fiction. But what he believed was that he had two near death experiences. And he believed now because of those near death experiences, he could see the future. Okay, so these people now in this, like, small sect of the Latter Day Saints, he would tell them, like, to prepare because, like, Latter Day Saints think that, like, the apocalypse is kind of, like, happening right now.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. That we're in the midst of doomsday.

[Audible Voice]

Yeah. And that only 144,000 people are gonna make it. And so, like, you have to, like, follow him to, like, kind of make it to the other side. He also believes that he could tell if somebody is, like, a light energy or a dark energy, and that some people could be zombies, which means that they're still here, but they have a demon inside of them, basically.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. So Lori, there's a lot of setup for what will probably be just a lady killed her husband.

[Audible Voice]

A lot. A lot of people died here. So. So Lori is now drawn to this guy Chad. Once. The more she starts to like him, the more she kind of decides that her husband Charles sucks and that she wants to get away from him, but she doesn't want to divorce him. So then Chad tells her that Charles is, in fact a zombie. He's inhabited by a demon named Ned, and that he has to be taken out of the picture. Okay, do you wanna. Do you have any questions here? Do you wanna pause here? Just run through this.

[Mike Rainey]

Shannon, did she also kill her kids, too?

[Audible Voice]

Yeah, that's. That's coming. I don't know how much, like, detail you want me to.

[Zach Amico]

Were they also full of Ned?

[Audible Voice]

They did have demons in them, though.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Audible Voice]

And that's why they had to go. So she ends up her. So her brother, who is a part of this doomsday cult, also ends up basically killing. I'm gonna skim over this, then you guys can ask questions. So he ends up killing Charles, her husband, and then she moves to the town.

[Zach Amico]

How did he kill him?

[Audible Voice]

So he shot him.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Audible Voice]

What he claims happened was that her. Lori called him over to the house and was like, oh, Charles is, like, getting handsy with me. Whatever. So he went there to go protect his sister and that Charles swung at him with a bat and he had no choice but to shoot him.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Mike Rainey]

And then 15 minutes later, he's pronounced.

[Zach Amico]

N kid that on arrival.

[Audible Voice]

So after that, so she moves with her two kids, Tyler, who is 16, and JJ, who is adopted, who is 7. She moves to the town that Chad Daybell lives. Chad Daybell is also married. He's been married for 30 years and he has five kids. Once she moves over there, he starts to decide actually that his wife Tammy has a demon inside her. Also, her name is Viola. And they have to get rid of her.

[Mike Rainey]

I mean, in his defense, like any Tammy I've met has been supremely up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think it comes with that.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Audible Voice]

So they end up. So long story short, Tammy just. He finds her dead in the morning and says, oh, she died in her sleep. She's 49 years old, declined an autopsy and everyone was just like, oh, I guess she just died of natural causes. Buried her, moved on. So at this point, so now that Tammy is dead, all of a sudden, within about two weeks, they are in Hawaii. Chad and Lori, they're in Hawaii getting married two weeks after Tammy is killed. When they come back, the family members start to say like they are used to talking to jj, which is the seven year old, and to Tyler on the phone. And they're like, we haven't spoken to them in a while. Can we like talk to them maybe? No answer. So then they have the cops go and do a welfare check on JJ and they're like, oh, he's not here. He's with a friend in Arizona. They check the friend in Arizona and.

[Zach Amico]

Usually people named J.J. love welfare checks.

[Audible Voice]

So the. The chicken Arizona, Melanie, she's also a part of this cult. So the cops reach out to her and they're like, is JJ with you? And he's like, well, she kind of like she was for a little bit, but like he's not now. And then she recorded a phone call calling Chad and Lauria and she's like, why did you tell the cops he was with me? So the. There is a long search for about 10 months to try to find these kids. Don't know where they are. And then eventually they. They serve Lori Valo with papers and they're like, you have five days to show us the kids. She obviously doesn't. She goes to jail. And then court happens, whatever. Turns out kids are dead. They're buried in her pet cemetery in her front yard.

[Zach Amico]

Oh no, they're going to come back. Oh, no, no fair. No fair. One mean rowd, eating up a lot.

[Audible Voice]

Of animals, and they charge her with conspiracy to commit murder for Tammy Daybell and for both of her kids. She gets three life sentences.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. And did her brother get charged anything for killing the husband?

[Audible Voice]

Oh, he died.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, the brother died?

[Audible Voice]

Yeah, the brother died. He died of, like, what they said is that he had a blood clot and that those kind of run in his family, but it was just, like, it's convenient because he is basically, it seems like he's the one that did all the killing and. Yeah. So they can't actually.

[Zach Amico]

Do they know how she killed the kids?

[Audible Voice]

So they were. They were burned and dismembered and buried, so they couldn't actually tell the method by which they were murdered.

[Zach Amico]

Well, Shannon, you did a great job.

[Audible Voice]

Thanks. There's. There's so many other. I'm just trying to, like, there's so much more to it. So she just. So there was a second. Second trial that just finished this past week or so, and that was the trial of conspiracy to commit murder on her husband. And they also found her guilty for that. She asked for them to delay the sentencing because she has another case coming up in June, and it's conspiracy to commit murder on her niece's husband.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Audible Voice]

So that's coming up in June.

[Mike Rainey]

Shannon, do you have a picture of her? Because I'm. I'm.

[Zach Amico]

When I think of her, was it worth it?

[Mike Rainey]

No, because when I think of her, I think of Karen Reed, and I. I. I often confuse the two.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Audible Voice]

Let me. I'm going to try to find some, like, younger pictures of her.

[Zach Amico]

Now, Mike, if you were found murdered, how quickly would you want the cops to look at your spouse?

[Mike Rainey]

I'm good, man. What I think about, like, when I'm dead is like, you know, you often think about, do you want to be buried? Do you want to be cremated? Like, I would love to donate my body ahead of time to a necrophilia film studio.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Mike Rainey]

And just let the boys have at it for a while. So I don't want the cops notified. I just want the guys who want me notified. Like, have them come. You know how, like, you know, when somebody's dead, you have the morticians come, they bring you in, they get you gussied up. Like, that's who I want notified.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. I would. I've heard there's things when. Like how they have to study how bodies decompose. So there's just fields where they use test cadavers and then, like, take A picture of you every few days.

[Mike Rainey]

You would be good at that.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's. I think it's the role I've been practicing for, I think. Yeah, I think that would. I have no interest in the idea of being buried or anything like that. I think it's archaic.

[Mike Rainey]

It's nuts.

[Zach Amico]

It's stupid. I. To me, just make me a fat pile of ashes.

[Mike Rainey]

I don't give a. Dude, I'm with it. Like, my. My parents died a couple months ago, and they blew every dollar they had in planning their own funerals. Like, didn't. Didn't leave grandkids. They just wanted to ball out on their funerals. And it was. I'm still angry about it. It's insane.

[Zach Amico]

What were the. What were the most extravagant choices?

[Mike Rainey]

Just nice caskets. It's like, off, man. Like, what are you doing? But, dude, I thought. Do you remember a couple years back, there was a family that found out that their grandmom, who had donated her body to science, had actually had her body used by the US Military to test out explosives?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Mike Rainey]

That might be what I want.

[Zach Amico]

That would be a fun one.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Does my family get the video? Like a roller coaster?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. Can they monetize it?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, can. Can we? Dude, you want to talk world star hip hop bodies getting shot with mess with fucking missiles? That would be fucking sick. No, but, like, when you ride, like the slingshot ride or something, and they're like, for $40, you can get the tape, I think. Yeah. I would want to say.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. You get the mug and the keychain, too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Or maybe like, throw me off something really high. But there's a target. And, like, my family gets money for, like, the farthest, like, whoever's body hits the most area. I feel like I'd be very useful for that.

[Mike Rainey]

Like, a target? You mean like a nice black family having lunch? Yeah, I agree. That might be fun.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's keep it moving.

[Audible Voice]

I have some pictures if you want to see. So this is from her when she was doing the pageants.

[Mike Rainey]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

Not bad.

[Audible Voice]

Let's see. This is her during the first trial.

[Zach Amico]

That is a lady that thinks there's demons in her children.

[Mike Rainey]

Is that her husband? Shannon?

[Audible Voice]

This is her brother. Okay, let's see.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Beautiful lady.

[Audible Voice]

That's one of. Also. Also. One of her previous husbands also died mysteriously of a heart attack.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, man.

[Audible Voice]

Oh. I mean, there's. I don't know if you want to keep talking about this. There's other stupid little pieces. Okay. So when she. When her husband died Four days later she called in to cash in on his life insurance policy and million dollars. And when they checked, they saw that he changed the beneficiary and didn't make it her, made it his sister. And then. So she's texting Chad about that during this and she's like, he me, basically. And he's like, don't worry, it'll work. It'll work itself out. And then when they killed Chad's wife, they then went to Hawaii with the money that he got from that life insurance policy. Yeah, another silly. They talked a lot about this stuff through text messages. One silly thing between her and her brother, the brother who I think did most of the murders. When they had moved one time he had set up the WI fi in their new house. And he texted her with the password was. And the password was the number two. And then many kids, too many kids. And she was like, lol, that's great. And then she's like, don't worry, they're going to be eliminated soon. And he's like, finally.

[Zach Amico]

Oh man, it's brutal.

[Mike Rainey]

That's tough because like the one kid was adopted, right? Shannon?

[Audible Voice]

Yeah, adopted from like Charles's family members. He was. He was autistic.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, Jesus Christ, man.

[Zach Amico]

So it was a wash. Listen, I get it. You had a lot. A long day is a long day. Is a long day.

[Mike Rainey]

I know, but you could just give that kid an iPad and he's out of your hair forever, man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's. I figured out who fights the gorilla autistic guys. You remember that big black autistic kid who beat the shit out of his teacher?

[Mike Rainey]

The Nintendo DS guy?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I give the gorilla the switch.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And send him first. Dude, that's. Yeah, that's. Dude, you get some big.

[Mike Rainey]

That's Godzilla versus King Kong dude.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you got some big tastics in there. And I got a fucking switch to motherfucker. And you hand to the gorilla.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

With a banana.

[Mike Rainey]

Dude. This is where it has to.

[Zach Amico]

Boys, boys do you got to do. Nobody's watching.

[Mike Rainey]

Now this is a one verse one. And not gigantic autistic guy. 99 regulars.

[Zach Amico]

This is. Yeah, yeah, this is my. I think that's. Yeah, I think that's my. My front line.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, that's him, man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's who you send in, I think. I think you send in a good five of those up top. And then I think that buys time for the. The non sillies to strategize and be like, all right guys, you know, we'll flank Them do this. Do this.

[Mike Rainey]

Do you think there's currently like a SEAL Team 6 of autistic guys like that that the government's just sitting on SEAL team sticks. They're in a chopper and they just throw toothpicks down the fucking drop zone.

[Zach Amico]

That who. That's what the A stood for. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

B.A. barack is bad Autism.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Bad autism Bar. It's a. It's a short, boss. He's not a fan.

[Mike Rainey]

I pity the fool that can make eye contact.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, fun. All right, moving on. What do we got here? Okay. Dude broke with a Bronx. Broke up with a Bronx chick and ended up tied to a car getting dragged. That's right. I've been on World Star again.

[Mike Rainey]

Relative of Matthew Shepard?

[Zach Amico]

Could be. By the way, did you. Have you been hearing this shit about Matthew Shepard?

[Mike Rainey]

I heard Kurt Metzger talking about it.

[Zach Amico]

And I looked it up as well. So I heard Kurt talk about it and I got into it.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

People that don't know and hey, this is the kind of shit me and Rainey are gonna talk about. So I apologize. So Matthew Shepard was a young homosexual gentleman in. Was it Utah?

[Mike Rainey]

It was. Somewhere with a lot of space.

[Zach Amico]

Somewhere with a lot of space and maybe Montana. Maybe Montana. I don't know if someone in the chat knows and could let me know. Thank you. If you're done complaining about all our segments and what we're doing.

[Mike Rainey]

He was having beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

If you're done having fucking bitch sessions with each other, you fucking little wash women. Wyoming. Thank you. My friend Metzger said that apparently Matthew shepherd, the guy that killed him, they used to fuck, and that it was a meth deal gone wrong.

[Mike Rainey]

That that's a very messy crime.

[Zach Amico]

It's a. It makes a big method and that it was painted as this innocent guy got gay bashed to death. In reality, he was caught up in some real seedy underworld shit and it was a drug related murder. Wild.

[Mike Rainey]

I mean, highly plausible. And on top of that, too, it's. I never bought the idea that they're. They're intentionally dragging a gay guy because, like, do you have any idea how much noise he's going to make back there? Like, you're going to draw an insane amount of attention to yourself pulling a gay guy. Like, if anything, you just want to pull a straight white guy.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think that's why they call them drag queens?

[Mike Rainey]

That's like get beat into a gang.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, fuck. All right, so let's see this video. Shannon.

[Audible Voice]

I'm sorry, Zach. If they took it down from worldstar, I'M trying to find it. I'm trying to find it somewhere else.

[Mike Rainey]

I'm sorry man. You know it's bad if Worldstar takes it down.

[Zach Amico]

That's all right. What are you gonna do? We'll, we'll go to something else. Hey, we're gonna bring back a Lewis and Zach segment. This is murder dogs.

[Audible Voice]

Get this. Adults with financial literacy skills have 82%.

[Mike Rainey]

More wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives.

[Audible Voice]

But are we investing in their future financial success?

[Mike Rainey]

With Greenlight, you can teach your kids.

[Audible Voice]

Financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing.

[Mike Rainey]

And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial education and future Today with a risk free trial at greenlight.com wondery greenlight.com wondery.

[Zach Amico]

Who let the dogs out? All right, so we got a murder dog segment here. Woman says she's keeping her dog of 11 years even though he bit off her nose.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, you kind of have to, man. I mean, once you hit the 10 year mark, you're kind of stuck with him.

[Zach Amico]

I mean it is your dog. It's your dog. Yeah, if you can live with it, I have no problem with it. But also, let's see this lady's fucked up nose.

[Mike Rainey]

And on top of that too. Like he was probably trying to do the I got your nose trick but your paws just won't go right.

[Zach Amico]

Oof.

[D]

This is asked a ton also. After the incident I went into complete shock. Like adrenaline definitely took over. I don't remember feeling any pain. I just know as soon as I ran into the bathroom and saw my face, I freaked the out as one would. And then James came in, he saw, he freaked out, gave me a T shirt to like hold on my face. I held my face until the ambulance got there. I don't have a single clue where King was. I don't know how he was acting after that fall. Went to the hospital. I was there from about 11:30 or midnight, something like that, until my or my surgery was the next day at 11am and then I was released. When I came out, I think, I think it was like 4pm Again. I, I was so out of it on like pain meds, anesthesia, all that stuff obviously. So I don't have a single clue. For like the first two days I was home, I was cognitively not aware of, I think anything that was going on. Truthfully, I was just like in bed. But once I like came to and I like was Feeling a lot better, King. Like, squirrel brain didn't have a freaking clue what happened. Did not act different. Did not seem. He doesn't seem different at all. To, like, wake up.

[Zach Amico]

Am I crazy, or does her nose now look like she's becoming a dog?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, they gave her a pit bull nose.

[Zach Amico]

Like, it's a very fun nose. Yeah, that's. I think at midnight. I think in a full moon, she becomes a pit bull. I might create. Shannon, they gave her a dog nose.

[Audible Voice]

So it's a graft from another part of her body.

[Zach Amico]

What? The part of her body that looks like a dog.

[Audible Voice]

I'm guessing it's like, maybe the back of her neck. And. And so now it's going to be hairy for a while, and then I have.

[Zach Amico]

So now what do you. What. What part of it are you going to grab to discipline it? Spit it out. Spit it out. Hey.

[Audible Voice]

I do have some other videos that'll show some of her healing process, but she does have to go through.

[Zach Amico]

What about her begging and laying down?

[Mike Rainey]

And she's gotta have her painkillers rub down her throat.

[Zach Amico]

Get it? Heal.

[Audible Voice]

I get it.

[Zach Amico]

You get it. You get it, Shannon?

[Audible Voice]

I got it.

[Zach Amico]

We're doing humor in the morning.

[Audible Voice]

So they do have to, like, debulk it at a certain point. And then she has to go through laser treatments to make the hair go away.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, because she's gonna have a hair. Dude, she's got a hairy dog nose. Yeah, I bet it's wet all the time.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, my God, she's bad. You gotta smack her with the newspaper.

[Zach Amico]

I bet if she pees on the floor, her husband has to rub her face in it. Now we see some of the healing.

[Audible Voice]

Yeah. So this is. This is one of her update videos.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[D]

And assistant looking at the date and exactly 10 days until my second laser hair removal treatment. My patients are so thin, but I know they shouldn't be. I'm just, like, so over it all. Just can't wait until there's no more hair. And my next surgery is not until August, and that is, like, really bothering me lately.

[Mike Rainey]

So went from a dog nose to the tip of a penis.

[Zach Amico]

I actually think she looks like a hoe.

[D]

You know.

[Audible Voice]

That'S the dog.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, come on. You're gonna let that dog bite your nose off?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, it would be hilarious if they just feed him bowls full of noses now.

[Audible Voice]

So she. This. That's really it for this one. So she had a gofundme up. She had two dogs. One of them had cancer. And then she had this dog. So she had GoFundMe up to, I guess, help with the treatment for the other dog. But she said she was also going to put some of the money towards euthanizing this dog.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Audible Voice]

On the day that she was supposed to go, she delayed it because she was second guessing it. And now she's decided to just keep the dog that she has the dog. Like going to see a trainer once a week to try to fix it. But yeah, she's keeping the dog.

[Zach Amico]

I think once they've got the taste for flesh. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

[Mike Rainey]

I, I think you should have to donate him to a black family at that point. Like just, just somebody who's just gonna really put him in his doggy place.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, if he, if he liked her nose, he can't. I'm so full.

[Mike Rainey]

He's just sitting up right in the beanbag chair.

[Zach Amico]

Let's find him a Jewish family next. Jesus. Okay, what else we got here? Report finds Meta's celebrity voice chat bots could discuss sex with minors. Sure hope so.

[Audible Voice]

So they have. There's this group of people that's kind of just going out there and testing these things, trying to make them do the worst things possible. And so they said that while they were doing the test and one reported conversation, a chat bot using actor wrestler John Cena's voice described a graphic sexual scenario to a user identifying as a 14 year old girl. In another conversation, the chatbot imagined a police officer catching Cena with a 17 year old fan, telling him, john Cena, you're under arrest for statutory rape. Meta spokesperson said that these tests are so manufactured, it's not just fringe, it's hypothetical. And they're saying in a 30 day period, sexual content accounted for 0.02 responses shared by Meta AI with users under 18. Nevertheless, they're going to make it more difficult for these things to happen.

[Mike Rainey]

Jesus, man.

[Zach Amico]

I have seen it really took his heel turn seriously.

[Mike Rainey]

I think they're trying to radicalize kids. I, I think the heel turn is one thing, but now getting him to talk sexy, you could type in commands. I mean, these kids don't stand a chance against this man.

[Zach Amico]

He is their leader.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Now he's, he's, by the way, big balls move the other day on Smackdown to say, I don't have kids because I spent the last 25 years raising yours.

[Mike Rainey]

Dude.

[Zach Amico]

There's a lot of real resentment that I hear since he's become a bad guy, where I'm like, this guy's Been waiting to blow up on these people for a while.

[Mike Rainey]

And that. That's 100% real. Because you see videos of him, it's like he can't go anywhere without people just not only evading his personal space, touching him, putting cameras in his face. Not only that, but it's like the demographic that love him the most are a little touchy feely. Tend not to have the cleanest hands.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. A little sticky.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But I mean, I think most of the young ones now probably barely know who he is.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because it's been so long. So maybe now it's the perfect time to do. To have him be a bad guy. But.

[Mike Rainey]

Well, dude, the unfortunate thing is, like, they live like turtles, like, survive for fucking centuries.

[Zach Amico]

My friend Ron said to me, like, he worked at a house for special needs people. He's like, it's hard to age them because the things that age us.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, bills, fucking relationships, all this shit taxes. Like the shit that, like, puts years on us. They don't know, dude. So that's what. Sometimes you meet some and you're like, how are you, young fella? And he's like, I'm 47.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, dude, every day is spring break for them, dude.

[Zach Amico]

It's. It's a racket, dude. Have you ever seen the Just Shoot Me where David Cross is pretending to be retarded?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. Chicken pop.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, that's so fun. I can't believe.

[Mike Rainey]

Pretty good, man.

[Zach Amico]

That's within our generation. That's rough. There's no way.

[Mike Rainey]

Well, dude, there was when. When Leatherface. When Gunner Hansen was preparing to play Leatherface, he spent time at a facility for the retarded.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Just to get the mannerisms down.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. Like squeals and.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, my God, man. What? Imagine getting paid for that.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, that's kind of. Well, I mean, that supposedly is like the worst shoot of all time. The dinner table scene, the watch. The hitcher said it was worse than Vietnam.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. And it was. There was. I think it might have been on the Texas Chainsaw 40th anniversary commentary where Gunner Hansen is talking about, like, working himself into a state of psychosis and at one point having to remind. Remind himself, like. Like, gunner, this is a movie.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever seen the trailer for, I think, is it All American? It's the sequel Toby Hooper's son directed. That never came out.

[Mike Rainey]

I didn't see that.

[Zach Amico]

Now, fuck Shannon, if you could try and find that there's a unofficial. And this is going to be Zach and Mike talking horror movies for A second. I apologize. So I want to say it might be called All American Massacre and it's Chop Top on Trial.

[Mike Rainey]

Mm.

[Zach Amico]

And it's supposedly a finished low budget movie that they couldn't get the rights to the characters to release.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And I think there might even be a doc coming out about why it never came out.

[Mike Rainey]

That would be cool.

[Zach Amico]

I always want. This is the one. I. I feel like maybe once everyone involved is deceased, it'll get leaked.

[Mike Rainey]

I haven't kept up with, like, the ancillary cast members, but. Yeah. Unfortunately, Gunner Hansen passed away a couple years ago. Bill Mosley's in the original, right?

[Zach Amico]

No, Bill Mosley's in two.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The hitcher. He basically. He's supposed to be the brother of the hitchhiker.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay. All right.

[Zach Amico]

The hitchhiker is still alive. The girl's still alive.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay. Marilyn, I think her name is.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

I haven't kept up with her.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, did you find that trailer I'm talking about?

[Audible Voice]

I. It's. I have for All American Massacre, but that's not what I'm looking for. Right.

[Zach Amico]

Is it? It's. Is it. Can I see it real quick? Oh, this might be it. If it isn't, I'm sorry. I'll take. Yeah, I think this. This might be. This is what I thought Three From Hell was going to be. I thought it was going to be them on trial the whole time.

[Mike Rainey]

When you saw the original, did it scare you or did you think it was scared the.

[Zach Amico]

Out of.

[Mike Rainey]

Same dude.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So it's super, super low budget. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

I also watched it way too young, but still, like, I watched it as recently as about a year and a half ago, and it still spooked me out.

[Zach Amico]

I'll tell you, out of all the VHS box art, that's the one that always scared me the most. Like, I. I remember buying Texas Chainsaw and. And having it still in the plastic for a few days because it made me nervous to want to watch it.

[Mike Rainey]

I get it, man.

[Zach Amico]

So I think that that and the Exorcist are the ones. I think that, like, I balked at first.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I want to say maybe I even textures. I might have had to watch in two goes. I might have to turn it off.

[Mike Rainey]

The first time, which is nuts because it's like 85 minutes long.

[Zach Amico]

Also, there's no blood in it.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's bloodless. I'm thinking of like the hook scene, but yeah. You see her, like, convulsing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Where. I mean, that people might have A little on them, but there's no blood in any of the kills. And I still think the. The sledge had. The sledge to the head is so brutal, dude.

[Mike Rainey]

Not only. I mean, not even like the violence is the scariest aspect, but, like, just waiting for that door to slide over.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Still scares the out of me, man.

[Zach Amico]

Did you ever play the Texas Chainsaw game?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. Yeah, that scared me also. I stopped playing Friday the 13th because I got scared by some Latino teenagers.

[Zach Amico]

I got bullied out of Texas Chainsaw by black teenagers. I got a DM from a kid who was like 12 years old, and he's like, uninstall. Because I fucked up. I fucked up a perfect game for four friends by just running in the wrong direction and getting them all caught. And, dude, it's. Dude, it was so funny. So for people don't know this Texas Chainsaw game, it's like a survival game, but one of the things is there's a grandpa character, and if you make too much noise, he wakes up and everyone can see where you are. And I was playing it with all these young black kids on Xbox who, many of whom, I don't think have seen Texas Chainsaw. And I accidentally woke the guy up and he goes, you done woke up the old denwear. That's all they called him the whole game.

[Mike Rainey]

That's. That's appropriate, man. Dude, uninstall is a crazy command.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was real. I really. But I gotta say, I really that up. Yeah, I fucked that up massively. All right, let's do one more before we get out of here.

[Audible Voice]

Zach, I did find that other video.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, please. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Uninstall is what God usually tells black women when they become pregnant.

[Zach Amico]

What's he tied to? The music is awful. Okay? He got out. I had a girl run over everything from our relationship with a car and set it on fire.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, man, that's the biggest.

[Zach Amico]

That's how you know you really. That's how you know you really meant a lot, dude.

[Mike Rainey]

That's the biggest endorsement of good dick.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I. She. She. She kept everything from all of our dates and all the gifts I ever gave her in a box. And then when we broke up, she. She. She ran it over and set it on fire and sent me pictures.

[Mike Rainey]

Did it bring tears to your eyes?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, hey, you know what? You're never gonna forget love like that. You never could forget what a piece of shit I was.

[Mike Rainey]

Do you like setting shit on fire?

[Zach Amico]

No, I don't. I get nervous. Yeah, I get nervous. So I've been with the wrestling company I work with. There's one guy my friend to Tough Tony. His finish is called the Meteorite. And he pours alcohol on his fist and sets it on fire and punches you in the head.

[Mike Rainey]

Very cool.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty awesome.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But it makes me nervous every time. A Half the time he sets the guy's hair on fire and it's just a quick. But you smell it and it makes you be watching my friend put his hand out every night because all he just has to shake it out and then like rub it in his jersey. But also, I just noticed he's just got one giant red hand all the time. And fire in general makes me nervous. I don't know. How are you? Were you a pyro as a kid?

[Mike Rainey]

No, no, I was like, same way. Scared of it. And I. Yeah, fire. No. Kind of a piss guy, but fire. No. I never got into it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, passing on stuff is the best.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. I've. Occasionally I'll drink my own piss just to put on a little bit of a show.

[Zach Amico]

Good for you. I've never done that.

[Mike Rainey]

It's not as bad as people might think, especially if. If you're hydrated either properly with water or if you had a bunch of beers, it's really not that bad.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I. I remember there was a band that used to play the Mean Fiddler in Manhattan and their bass player would piss a pint glass and then chug it on stage.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Never really got it.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Never thought it was. I get. I mean, I get shot and I know I do dumb shit. Dumb stunts and shit, so I'm not saying I'm above it.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But I don't know. I never had. Never had the interest in that.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. I mean, if it presents itself, cool. Like if there's a crowd. Yeah, fun. But I don't know if I'd get to the point where I had a.

[Zach Amico]

Girl asked me to pee on her in the shower and I wasn't into it.

[Mike Rainey]

Same. I. I pissed on my wife once and she was in the shower and like 10 seconds in, I was just like, all right, well, you did it.

[Zach Amico]

That's that.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think that is.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think you got to have a. You got to have a. I think you have to have a traumatic piss experience in your developmental years to either have the shame kink or to be attracted to the smell.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I don't. I pissed myself in first grade and I came close in sixth grade.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Mike Rainey]

That would have been catastrophic. But first Grade.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

I was one of two kids who pissed himself in class.

[Zach Amico]

I pissed my pants last year when I broke my foot.

[Mike Rainey]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

Because I. I broke my foot coming home from a bar, as you do.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I was in my own house taking off my shoes, and my one foot was still half in a shoe, and I fell and I broke my foot.

[Mike Rainey]

Fuck, man.

[Zach Amico]

And then I went to. I crawled to bed, maybe the next morning, not completely remembering, I broke my foot. Got up having to piss desperately, stood up on the broken foot and immediately pissed my pants. Whatever the button is for pee and whatever the button is for out my foot. Yeah, similar. Similar path to the brain, I guess, because I just. I mean, took stand the cat looking at me and I just stood. It was one of those where it was going, so there's nothing I could do, and I just stood in the middle of my room and fully pissed myself.

[Mike Rainey]

Now, after that, because you were limited mobility wise, did you have something with you or was that just because of the pain?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, it was because of the pain that I did. So I. I could. I basically set up a path for myself where I could stand on my good foot and swing around.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Into the bathroom. But yes, I did keep a Gatorade bottle for. Yeah, for tough ones. But I think that's why Gatorades are shaped like that.

[Mike Rainey]

I do, too. Yeah, it's. Yeah, Gatorade is the perfect bottle for pissing. And I tried to piss in something smaller. It's actually. I went to go see a Vietnamese boy. Yes. They're. They're like 16 bucks a day. It's like getting a Toro. But, yeah, I was going. My wife was driving me to Sharon Tate's old place in the. The hills in la.

[Zach Amico]

Stop trying to distract me. Chat.

[Mike Rainey]

And I was in the back seat trying to, like, piss into this thing so I could get out and take a picture. Because I didn't want to piss, like, on the property and I didn't have a Gatorade bottle, so I just ended up getting it everywhere. In the back seat of the car.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think I did. I. I did something similar in the back of my friend Doug's bus. Oh, I peed myself on that bus, too. When I was blacked out. I tried to headbutt my way out of a locked bus and I peed my pants. I got up and I had a pee and I was trying to get out and I tried to headbutt the doors. This was a much different. This is a much more party centric Zach. And I tried to headbutt the double doors of a bus, and I instead knocked myself out and pissed my pants.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I don't blame you for that one, man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you know, that was. That was. That was a pint glass of Jagermeister. That one wasn't. I was on stage. I complained the bar didn't have Jagermeister. Somebody handed me a glass. I did not know. They went to their car and filled a pint glass with Jaeger. I thought it was a Guinness.

[Mike Rainey]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

I chugged it, and then I was on the floor with pants full of pee.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, it feels nice, though. I mean, a little bit of heat, a little bit of.

[Zach Amico]

I have. I did piss my pants in the cold rain once, and that was nice.

[Mike Rainey]

That was so beautiful, dude.

[Zach Amico]

That was. Yeah, that was like a poem, I guess. I guess. I guess I make a mess of myself quite a bit.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Well, what are you going to do? All right, one more thing before we get out of here. Pete Davidson candidly admits how he's been fooling everyone with his public Persona. Tell us about it, Shannon.

[Audible Voice]

Okay, so it said, Pete Davidson is not as confident as he may seem. If you guys think I have confidence, I have been fooling everyone. It's so difficult to say anything in print and not be afraid to come across the wrong way. He's 31. He's also reflected on how his father's death in the 911 terrorist attacks in New York City shaped his Persona. I had a really shitty childhood, and, like, the worst thing that could ever have happened to me happened to me when I was seven. I've been kind of like it, like, who cares, you know, and like everyone trying to be of service to others. And basically what he's saying is at some point, he was just like everybody, but now he's knowing to, like, at least take care of the people closest to him.

[Zach Amico]

If I had two thirds the size of the dick Pete Davidson had, I couldn't imagine, I would have pushed my dad under the towers as they fell. I would have tripped him with my giant cop. I would have laid it out like the spike strips when there's a car chase as my dad was running away. And I would have tripped him so that a piece of the engine fell on him in exchange for a hint of that beautiful cock that Pete Davidson has.

[Mike Rainey]

He seems like the kind of guy that could benefit from hanging out with you and pissing himself in the ring.

[Zach Amico]

I think he's a better guy than we give him credit for. I've always liked him and I'VE always thought he's nice. Sure. Is he a little bonkers? But who wouldn't be getting that famous right out of high school? He never had a chance to, like, getting together.

[Mike Rainey]

How big would you say the dick is?

[Zach Amico]

It's beautiful, dude.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, it's.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude, it's. The photo I saw. It was, like, hitting them in the sternum.

[Mike Rainey]

Huh?

[Zach Amico]

Like, it was like.

[Mike Rainey]

What was that in Vanity Fair?

[Zach Amico]

That. That was. That was on a cellular phone.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And. Oh, boy. Man, it looked like it a real. It looked like it really rearranged you.

[Mike Rainey]

God bless him, man. You always feel good for guys that are. That have more meat than they probably should.

[Zach Amico]

No, he looks like he's supposed to. Tall, skinny, like that. Yeah, yeah. The. The exaggerated features.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, true.

[Zach Amico]

You know, like, there's something. I'm not calling him ugly, but there's something about, like, a skinny dude with big nose, big ears. We're like, oh, yeah. That's probably how that works.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, yeah. God will make it up to you.

[Zach Amico]

Or just, like, your appendage heavy, like, ever. Like, your hands, your feet, your ears, you know, Like. Yeah, I feel like that's. That's. That's. That move.

[Mike Rainey]

Do you feel like you're good at, like, looking at somebody? Be like, all right, fat lips. Like, okay, Fucking chode.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. I've been. I've been pretty lucky, I would say. Not a lot of gross fudges. I don't know if I'm a good. I. I don't think I'm a good call on dick size.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Because I never think short, skinny guys are gonna have big dicks.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And those are the ones that have surprised me the most.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, they sneak up on you like.

[Zach Amico]

Dudes that are, like, five, six, and then you're like, just a hammer.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like trainer.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, yeah, dude. He's always. I always see that thing sticking out, like, pants and just showing it off and just.

[Zach Amico]

Well, he went viral. He went Philadelphia viral at one dick pic. The full body where he's, like, standing there looking stern.

[Mike Rainey]

I think I've only seen.

[Zach Amico]

He's kind of looking down at it, like, all right.

[Mike Rainey]

I think.

[Zach Amico]

Not disappointed, but, like.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I've seen one where he's, like, in a chair with his shirt off and just, like, his dick, like, came in after it was supposed to.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, that's the.

[Mike Rainey]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

God bless him.

[Mike Rainey]

Shannon, do you have that picture to pull up?

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, did you bring up Shannon's big sack?

[Audible Voice]

Wait, is this for real? I could really find It.

[Zach Amico]

No, no. It's just. Unless you have. It went. It got pretty popular in the Philadelphia comedy community, as far as I know. Not that any sluts have ever shown it to me on their phone. Yeah, he met three in the morning at Helium. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

He might be the only one in Philly whose dick I've encountered.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that can't be true. You've never seen Butterly's hug?

[Mike Rainey]

No, no. I actually. I had to, like, guard him to take a. In a strip club because, like, they just didn't believe that a guy had to take a. In a strip club. And we were in, like. It was like the Poconos from a Custer's bachelor party. And Tim's like, I really need this. And so I stood guard over him as he took his. In this place. The guy's like, he can't be in there doing that. It's like, the guy really has the man. You gotta let him go. But, yeah, I didn't sneak.

[Zach Amico]

Why wasn't he allowed to? Because they thought he's.

[Mike Rainey]

I think they just think you're gonna be jacking off in there.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, you know, I was. I got checked in quite a bit when I took a. At the. The strip club in Vegas. And now I thought they thought I was doing coke in there.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I was.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I was also shitting, but. And then, like, hey, you got it out. Maybe they thought I was jerking off in there.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. There's got to be something they could put in the. In the toilet water just to. For you. To prove that you've taken a shit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Well, I hate. I hate bathroom attendance the worst. It's the worst. I hate it every time because now I feel like am being clocked. B. Now I feel I'm obligated to tip.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. I don't need a. I don't need cologne or a mint. Right.

[Zach Amico]

There's nothing I need that I wouldn't have on me.

[Mike Rainey]

And I need you to leave me alone.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I hate. I absolutely hate bathroom attendance.

[Mike Rainey]

But also, I never got the whole not jerking off in the strip club thing because, like, I've been in. I went to a Jack Shack before at. There's a disgusting place in Philly called Show and Tell where the show bar is. Great. But before you get to the show bar, there's the Jack Shacks.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Mike Rainey]

And I was in there just. Just watching. This was before. Like, before I had a functional computer. This is probably early 2000s and watching transport in there. And I heard this guy screaming, like, stop coming on the floor. It's like, brother, there's a moppet bucket at the end of the hallway. Why are people not going to come on the floor? This is the place for it, if anything.

[Zach Amico]

I can't believe you don't come right on the glass, dude.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, my God. To that point, there's. Oh, I wish I remember this YouTuber's name. But he. He goes through mostly, like, places around Atlantic City, and he'll bring a black light in when he goes to the jack shacks. And it's just everywhere.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. That's what they're for.

[Mike Rainey]

But, dude, it's. It's higher up than, like, you would even could even conceive somebody blasting. Because you think when somebody's going to jizz, like, they're just going to go, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

You know, in a circle. But, like.

[Zach Amico]

And this was. You were watching a video, not like a live girl behind the glass.

[Mike Rainey]

No. Yeah, this is those.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sure the guy comes on the glass every time. Yeah, there's no not coming on the glass.

[Mike Rainey]

It's rude not to.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she. She needs to know, right?

[Mike Rainey]

It's like, you, hey, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You did this.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Good for you. I want to go to show and tell. Is it really a nightmare?

[Mike Rainey]

I haven't been there a long time. I loved it. Here's what I liked about it, is you get some pretty rough, which I like. And it's. You could. When I was there last, you could bring your own booze.

[Zach Amico]

Byob, right?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Fully nude. And the thing that I liked about this, this was the first club, strip club I'd been to that had a chubby girl dancing, and she was still self conscious. She had on a men's dress shirt over. Over her nude body.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Like. Like mankind.

[Mike Rainey]

She was very womankind.

[Zach Amico]

Like.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, but that was the first time I had seen a girl.

[Zach Amico]

She takes the sock out.

[Mike Rainey]

But, yeah, show and tell was where it's at, man. And yeah, they'll. They'll kind of do what you wanted, like, on the off. At least on the off hours is when I went there. And I think it was like, what would off hours be before the show bar opens? I probably went there, like, it 6pm on like a weeknight. And they're just waiting outside these rooms. It's almost set up like a doctor's room, doctor's office. And I went in there and I think I was probably like 19. And the lady's like, how much money do you have? And at the time, like, I worked at a bingo hall, so I Would make, like, on the books, I wouldn't make a lot of money. And I think at the time I had like, 70 bucks with me. I was like, what can I get for 70 bucks? And I just had $70 in ones. And she's like, you can jack off in front of. Of me.

[Zach Amico]

I was like, all right, you know what? That's not bad.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah. And I. I didn't know, like, I had no. At the time, it was all my money, so I assumed she was, you know, milking me dry. I was kind of pissed. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That would have been 140.

[Mike Rainey]

But in hindsight. Yeah, like, that kind of stuff, 70 bucks for that kind of is a bargain.

[Zach Amico]

You want to hear my record?

[Mike Rainey]

I do.

[Zach Amico]

Talk. Jerk off in front of. Talked it down 10 bucks. Talk about it. Steel.

[Mike Rainey]

Did she have her kids in the room with her?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, it was a lady of the evening.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I got her down to a tensky. That. That. That, my friend, felt great.

[Mike Rainey]

Did she look like the kind of lady that could be talked down to a 10?

[Zach Amico]

No, she was okay.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Pretty.

[Audible Voice]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

Hispanic. Hispanic broad.

[Mike Rainey]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And nice. Very, very good.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Very good.

[Mike Rainey]

That kind of makes me feel good, man. Because you hear all these horror stories about guys getting GHB and having all their stolen, but every now and again, there is a hooker with a heart of gold who's just like, you know what?

[Zach Amico]

And then I went to text my friend Pat, Pat Clowman about it, and he was in my phone as Pat art department, because we just finished a movie, but I accidentally texted Pat, hot tranny, who was a trans girl I had met working on the movie. So after not seeing me for two months after the movie ended, I randomly texted a trans girl at 4 in the morning. I just talked to hooker down to $10 to watch me jerk off. Thought you'd be proud. And she was not. She said, that's disgusting. And I think sec. I think sex work is abuse, brother.

[Mike Rainey]

And you're separate the wheat from the chaff.

[Zach Amico]

What can I say?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's call it there. That was Zach Amico's Morning Zoo. We have an exclusive episode coming to you on Friday, and it was a very fucking fun one. And I want to thank our wonderful guest, Mike Rainey. Please check out Little Stinkers dad meat and get in some head.

[Mike Rainey]

Thank you, buddy.

[Zach Amico]

And see Mike out on the road. He's fucking hilarious. And hey, we'll see you this Friday on the exclusive episode here on Zach Amico's Morning Zoom is Morning Time to him. Papa Mako. Chug it down. Just like your favorite OB Clown. Grab a call bear and join the crew. It's a Miko morning suit. It's Zach. Me go morning, too.

[Mike Rainey]

Whoa.