0011. Peter Angelo and Josie Marcellino

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo - Episode 0011 with Peter Angelo and Josie Marcellino

Release Date: May 23, 2025
Host: GaS Digital Network
Guests: Peter Angelo and Josie Marcellino

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1. Introduction and Guest Introductions

The episode kicks off with the lively banter typical of "Zac Amico's Morning Zoo." Host Zach Amico welcomes listeners, setting a vibrant and chaotic tone for the show. He introduces his guests, Peter Angelo and Josie Marcellino, sparking immediate camaraderie and humor.

• [00:36] Peter Angelo: "Morning."
• [01:32] Josie Marcellino: "I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me."
• [01:45] Peter Angelo: "I am fantastic and so glad to be back."

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2. Mexican Navy Ship Crashing into the Brooklyn Bridge

The first major topic revolves around a tragic incident where a Mexican navy ship crashed into the Brooklyn Bridge. The hosts discuss the mishap's details, casualties, and speculate on the possible causes.

• [03:53] Peter Angelo: "Was anyone else surprised that Mexico had a navy? That was my first thought."
• [05:14] Peter Angelo: "Nailed it."
• [05:58] Shannon: "Two people were killed, 19 injured, four seriously. It was a training mission, and they lost power, couldn't steer."

The conversation delves into the technical failures leading to the crash, with humorous undertones despite the severity of the event.

• [06:16] Jorge: "It's where your skull sails into the side of a bridge."
• [07:19] Shannon: "She confessed to cheating via texts, leading to the tragedy."

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3. Joe Exotic’s Husband Deportation

The discussion shifts to Joe Exotic, a well-known figure, and the deportation of his husband back to Mexico. The hosts express both sympathy and humor regarding the situation.

• [09:41] Peter Angelo: "He was in for immigration issues, nothing else."
• [13:04] Josie Marcellino: "It's romantic that they'll both go to Mexico together."
• [14:32] Josie Marcellino: "She got a husband. He got some butthole artwork."

They explore the peculiar circumstances surrounding the deportation, including Joe Exotic's attempts to negotiate his release.

• [13:09] Shannon: "He said if they let him go, they'll both go to Mexico without paying for deportation."

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4. The "Butthole Art" Phenomenon

A humorous and risque segment where the hosts dissect Joe Exotic's artistic endeavors, specifically his controversial "butthole art."

• [11:14] Jorge: "If you saw his husband last day of what looks to be tracing, not trace, what would you call it?"
• [12:15] Jorge: "It's butthole art."
• [12:36] Josie Marcellino: "That's a beautiful little scrapbook you could put together."

The conversation evolves into a lighthearted critique of the art style, blending humor with mockery.

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5. Theo Von Grabbing a Fan by the Throat

The hosts discuss a viral incident involving comedian Theo Von, who reportedly grabbed a fan by the throat. They analyze the situation, balancing between defense and critique.

• [36:44] Jorge: "Theo Von grabs fan by throat at Nashville bar."
• [38:41] Jorge: "Being a dude matters here."
• [38:46] Peter Angelo: "It's kind of amazing how people are so oblivious."

They debate whether Theo Von's actions were justified or an overstep, emphasizing the importance of personal boundaries.

• [39:00] Peter Angelo: "You don't need to be a public figure to stop nonsense."

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6. Empractical Jokers Defense

The hosts take a moment to defend the popular show "Impractical Jokers" against recent accusations, standing firmly in support of the comedians.

• [40:05] Josie Marcellino: "I love them."
• [40:29] Peter Angelo: "Fuck that, they're innocent."
• [40:39] Josie Marcellino: "It's about restraining oneself."

They recount instances where "Impractical Jokers" members faced controversies, advocating for understanding and context.

---

7. Performance Artist as a Human Carpet

A controversial segment explores a New York City performance artist who becomes a sidewalk carpet. The hosts debate the artistic merit versus the disturbing implications of such a stunt.

• [53:51] Shannon: "The human carpet, rather."
• [54:56] Jorge: "He's jerking off into getting stepped on. Why else be a carpet?"
• [56:07] Jorge: "Kevin Carpet would be in front of the bar..."

The discussion highlights ethical concerns and the blurred lines between performance art and personal boundaries.

---

8. Peter Angelo's Sumo Wrestling Experience

Peter Angelo shares his foray into sumo wrestling, detailing the physical and mental challenges he faced. The hosts express enthusiasm and encourage participation.

• [58:15] Peter Angelo: "I got into it, found a club in Austin, and I'm good at it."
• [58:25] Jorge: "Maybe you're also a powerlifter."
• [60:35] Peter Angelo: "I'm down."

The segment underscores the camaraderie and competitive spirit of sumo wrestling, blending personal achievement with comedic elements.

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9. Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Stories

Throughout the episode, the hosts share personal stories and humorous anecdotes, ranging from childhood experiences to awkward school memories. These moments add depth and relatability to the conversation.

• [41:20] Josie Marcellino: "I was obsessed with my 6th-grade math teacher... gave him a 14-page love letter."
• [43:00] Jorge: "Never came out to my parents. They still can't believe I'm with a woman."

These stories highlight the hosts' vulnerabilities and foster a connection with the audience through shared human experiences.

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10. Conclusion and Sign-Off

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts express gratitude towards their listeners and encourage engagement with the show through promo codes and upcoming content.

• [60:44] Jorge: "Thank you guys so much for tuning in."
• [61:20] Zach Amico: "Is morning time to him Papa Baco, chug it down just like favorite ob and join the crew."

The episode concludes on a high-energy note, inviting listeners to stay connected and anticipate future episodes filled with more chaos and humor.

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Notable Quotes

• Peter Angelo [06:16]: "It's where your skull sails into the side of a bridge."
• Josie Marcellino [14:32]: "She got a husband. He got some butthole artwork."
• Jorge [40:43]: "These guys are obviously trying to do like a video. Pissing them off."
• Josie Marcellino [41:20]: "I was obsessed with my 6th-grade math teacher... gave him a 14-page love letter."
• Peter Angelo [58:15]: "I got into it, found a club in Austin, and I'm good at it."

---

Conclusion

Episode 0011 of "Zac Amico's Morning Zoo" offers a blend of current events, personal stories, and unabashed humor. With engaging discussions led by Zac Amico and his guests, Peter Angelo and Josie Marcellino, listeners are treated to a rollercoaster of laughs, insights, and candid moments. From tragic incidents and controversial art to sumo wrestling and personal confessions, the episode encapsulates the unhinged and chaotic spirit promised by the show's description. Notable quotes and timestamps provide a structured glimpse into the lively conversations, making the summary a useful guide for those who haven't listened to the episode.

Transcript

[Peter Angelo]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and jo the crew, it's Zach.

[Peter Angelo]

Morning.

[Jorge]

Happy Monday, ladies and germs, and welcome to another edition of Zach Amico's Morning Zoo here on the Gas Digital Network. We're live from the hive talking jive. It's not 5, it's 12o, 3 and 16 seconds p.m. that's how you know we're live, baby. Actually, we really are. Just Jorge forgot to give me the computer and I forgot to ask for it. But this is the last live one I am doing. I banked the other two because I'm gonna be on the road with jcw. So thank you guys for your support and I'll be back live next week as well. I am joined by two wonderful comics who I love very much. Across the table from me, you guys know her and love her. It's Josie Marcelin. Yay.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me.

[Jorge]

Thank you for being here, my love, and talking about lovely, talking about funny, talking about sweet. It is my very good friend, Pietrangelo. How you doing, buddy?

[Peter Angelo]

I am fantastic and so glad to be back.

[Jorge]

Thank you, my friend. How have you been doing? You've been traveling?

[Peter Angelo]

Good, good. Just moved down to Austin, Texas, but back for a couple weeks. Had to come by, say hello and.

[Jorge]

I really appreciate your time, my friend. Great to see you. We'll get into all that fun stuff. I know you've been doing sumo. I'm very excited to talk to you about that. But first, let's get plugs out of the way. Josie, what do you want people to check out? My love?

[Josie Marcelino]

You can just follow me. All of my social media is at Josie Marcelino. That's J O S I E M A R C E L L I N O.

[Jorge]

Fantastic. Mr. Angelo.

[Peter Angelo]

Follow me at Metal Pete Comedy Instagram, TikTok. That's usually where I post all my clips. Sumo, wrestling, metal, all the shenanigans I get up to. That's where you can find it. Metal Pete comedy.

[Jorge]

Fantastic. You guys want to see me live? Go to punch up that live. Zach Amico. I got a bunch of dates I'll be announcing soon. If you're listening live, I leave tomorrow Morning for Juggalo Championship Wrestling. I'll be out on the road all week with Insane Clown Posse doing commentary for all the wrestling shows. And hey, if you love the show, and we know you do, thank you so much for tuning in. You can actually get this show early ad free and uncensored by going to gas digital.com using that promo code, ZOO Z O O. And you get again episodes early ad free, uncensored. You get access to the live chat, you get access to the archives of this show and every great show that's been on the Gas Digital Network, including over a thousand episodes of Real Ass podcast and Lewis and Zach. And you get a $50 off a month and I'll fucking kiss you. I don't give a shit. What's the worst that could happen? Can't get herpes twice. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. However you consume the show, we really appreciate you. A midget beaten off in a trash can. All right, let's get into the fun. Well, I mean, let's start. We're being timely. You guys see this fucking Mexican ship to the goddamn Brooklyn Bridge?

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah. Was anyone else surprised that Mexico had a navy? That was my first thought.

[Josie Marcelino]

Was that their navy ship? I thought it was like a toy, like one of those pirates.

[Jorge]

I think it was a naval. I believe so.

[Josie Marcelino]

Well, it was an adorable naval ship.

[Jorge]

Well, they always say, you know why Mexico doesn't have an Olympic team? Because anybody that can run, jump or swim. But yeah, apparently they have a navy too. You know, the Italian Navy has glass bottom boats.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, yeah.

[Jorge]

So they can see the old Italian Navy. That's old time. That's old man. That's old man humor. How did the Nazis evade Poland? They walked in backwards and said they were leaving that one. I. So, yeah, let's see the shit. I mean, so this is considered like a multi casualty event now.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, shit.

[Jorge]

Mobile. Because there's people on this.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, there's. There's people up on the mast.

[Jorge]

There's people on the mask.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, I had heard when I. When I saw it last, it was just that one person was dead. It's.

[Jorge]

I believe this is considered a mass casualty event now.

[Josie Marcelino]

Jesus Christ.

[Jorge]

Or a multiple casualty event at least. Go ahead, Shannon.

[Peter Angelo]

Keep going. Keep. You got room. You got room.

[Jorge]

Keep it going. Keep it going. All right, mom, back now. Oh, back.

[Peter Angelo]

Nailed it.

[Jorge]

All right, last one should be fine, guys. No, that. Yeah, it was taller than the other ones. Now, at what point here does everyone feel silly the whole time because they got us? It's not. They're like, oh, a bridge.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah. I mean, it's like the Brooklyn Bridge snuck up on them.

[Jorge]

It's not. It's not like. It's not like the captain looked up and was like, I know. So, Chad, it's. It's because there's people up on those masks. Is that correct?

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

So I don't know that for sure. I do know that two people were killed. Two crew members were killed. 19 people were injured, four seriously injured. And it said that they attempted to do a, quote, sailing maneuver, and it was at that time that they crashed.

[Josie Marcelino]

Into the bridge, were they not?

[Peter Angelo]

What's a sailing maneuver? Besides sailing?

[Jorge]

It's where your skull sails into the side of a bridge. Apparently, that. That was their best and brightest. We lost that day.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, my God.

[Jorge]

That. It. It's. It's because it wasn't going fast.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

That. There was like, 10 minutes for you to be like, I think we're gonna hit that thing.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, for sure. Someone. That guy was on. You know, the one guy was on the mask, just like, you gonna tell him or am I gonna tell him that this isn't gonna work?

[Josie Marcelino]

It's the fact that it was going slow and also that there were three impacts.

[Jorge]

Yes.

[Josie Marcelino]

The first impact, you're like, that's awful.

[Jorge]

Well, I don't think they can stop. It's a boat.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's not like.

[Jorge]

Yeah, but it's not like they can hit the brakes.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's not something that they could have done. But it is, like, by the third one, you're like, all right, does everyone.

[Jorge]

Else picture the captain of the ship being asleep? Like, with his legs up and his arms folded and his hat over his face, and then he just hears the first crash?

[Peter Angelo]

Just set back Mexican stereotypes of being a bad.

[Jorge]

How bad? Stereotype can I be?

[Peter Angelo]

The bottle of tequila.

[Jorge]

What else? Do you have any other info on it? Shannon?

[Shannon]

I just said the. The two people that died with a cadet and a sale and a sailor died. 22. Oh, now it's 22 people were hurt. I just looked up a new article, and there were over 200 people on board.

[Jorge]

And what was it here for?

[Shannon]

They were. It was a train. It was like a training mission, I don't think.

[Peter Angelo]

What. How to avoid boats, bridges.

[Jorge]

Like, I don't think they did good.

[Josie Marcelino]

I heard it was like. It was a systems failure. It was like a mechanical failure. And that's why they couldn't stop, because it was the same thing that happened with. In Baltimore a couple years back when that Boat ran into the Key Bridge. I took the fucking bridge out. But it was the same thing where it was like something went wrong and they couldn't stop.

[Shannon]

Also says that the bridge. That the boat was moving in the wrong direction, that the current was taking it under the bridge and it was supposed to be going in the other direction completely. They said the boat lost power, so they weren't able to use the rudder and they couldn't steer.

[Peter Angelo]

This boat's not winning any battles.

[Jorge]

No. Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's a bad Navy boat.

[Jorge]

I hate to tell you, but this is why it was gonna be the Gulf of America, I gotta tell you, across the board. But they didn't go because there's people in those masks.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Is it their job to, like, stay in them no matter what?

[Josie Marcelino]

Like a captain, you gotta jump, right? You jump.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Like, that would be. I would be like, oh, the first one got hit.

[Jorge]

Or you just hold on to the bridge. I think just a bunch of Mexican. I work here now.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Yeah. I went. I went. I want land. That's a land Mexican.

[Peter Angelo]

I didn't get over. I didn't get over the wall. I got under the bridge.

[Jorge]

Yeah, it's a land Mexican. Now, that's. That's what we're here for.

[Josie Marcelino]

When do we start playing the Red Hot Chili Peppers under the bridge song? When is that?

[Peter Angelo]

Some guy with a boombox on the shore just holding it up.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's a somber song. It would fit.

[Jorge]

I just picture the mariachi band having to play as the sink. All right, well, RIP those. Poor, poor Ben. I know it's very upsetting. I hope you're all right.

[Peter Angelo]

You know, let's just hope their Air Force doesn't have any.

[Jorge]

What would be the equivalent of that? I guess the equivalent of our tower.

[Peter Angelo]

Towers.

[Jorge]

Yeah, that would be. It would be something too low.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Yeah. It would be like an airplane hitting your basement. I'll even do that. All right, so Joe Exotic's husband has been deported back to Mexico. No. Very unfortunate.

[Josie Marcelino]

Crazy week for Mexico.

[Jorge]

Yeah. I know how to get you back up here, but I'm not gonna like it. He also left him some artwork. I saw that as a goodbye. So let's take a look at it. Shannon, hold on a second.

[Shannon]

Sorry. Wait. The art. I'm sorry, what's the artwork? You're referring to.

[Jorge]

The article, but you can also. Yeah, he left. Joe Exotic tweeted.

[Peter Angelo]

It is.

[Shannon]

Okay, so here's a picture of them two together. Is this it?

[Jorge]

Well, no, that's. It's. It's.

[Peter Angelo]

They Took that in prison.

[Jorge]

I think that's a Photoshop.

[Shannon]

I have the original picture. Hold on. This is them in prison.

[Peter Angelo]

That'd be wild.

[Shannon]

This is him saying. While he was. While they were detaining him, he was saying you could deport him, but if you let him go, we'll both go to Mexico. You won't have to pay to deport him. We won't bother you anymore. So he's trying to, like, get them both to be let go.

[Jorge]

Okay. But yeah, if you go to Joe Exotics, Twitter.

[Peter Angelo]

But they took that in prison.

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

J.C. penney's in prison. They got the drop down background.

[Jorge]

They distract the one prisoner of the toy. Look here, look here.

[Peter Angelo]

He's like.

[Jorge]

If you saw his husband last day of what looks to be tracing, not trace, what would you call it?

[Peter Angelo]

Ink stamps.

[Jorge]

Yeah, maybe stamps. It's a specific shape that looks very familiar. Maybe. Yes, it's in the chat. It's in the chat. Thank you. The same way a hot girl will kiss a napkin.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Oh, now, everyone assumed this was Asshole Prince.

[Peter Angelo]

I did.

[Jorge]

Everyone. Because of the. As you go in, there's some ridges. There's a dilation. Yeah. Just like, you know, like the way, like, a hot waitress will kiss a napkin with her phone number. You just get a little Mexican butthole. But some people are saying these are mushroom.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, they're.

[Jorge]

No, no. That it's. It's tracing of mushroom. And it's. Apparently it's an art style that they teach prisoners or something. And that those are etchings of mushroom spores. But I really think it's this man's asshole.

[Peter Angelo]

I do think so, too.

[Josie Marcelino]

Gotta be his asshole.

[Peter Angelo]

He's just mashing his dick up against it, too.

[Jorge]

Which, by the way, we really should have guests start doing on this show.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's a beautiful little scrapbook you could put together.

[Jorge]

Yeah, I love that.

[Peter Angelo]

Every comedian's.

[Jorge]

Every comedian's asshole.

[Josie Marcelino]

All right. Hit the stamp pad on your way out.

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting your fingerprints done.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. That's beautiful.

[Jorge]

Yeah, but you just put the book right in the middle like a MAD magazine fold in.

[Josie Marcelino]

I love it.

[Peter Angelo]

All right, I volunteer to go first.

[Jorge]

And then you can cut a hole in the middle of the book so you could look through the asshole like.

[Josie Marcelino]

The Very Hungry Caterpillar. How the little things were.

[Jorge]

Yeah, that's what Peter's assholes named the Hungry Caterpillar. The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I would love that. And then you have every comedian's asshole. That's a coffee table. Book.

[Josie Marcelino]

It really is. That's a one of a kind. I love that.

[Peter Angelo]

Compare it.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm bringing in a scrapbook next time I come.

[Jorge]

It just. I would love to be able to compare. And by the way, didn't Joe Exotic say to Trump, I will let you deport my husband if you let me out, like just a few weeks ago.

[Peter Angelo]

Wow.

[Shannon]

Yes. Yeah, he did when he posted that, that you could deport him, but if you let me go, we'll both go to Mexico together and you don't have to pay for any of it. And it was a few hours after that post that they sent him back to Mexico.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay, that's romantic.

[Peter Angelo]

But did they just pull him out of jail and just sent him back? I think, like, what was he. What? I want to know what he was. What was he in.

[Shannon]

He was in for, like, for this, this type of thing for something having to do with like, deportation. Like, he wasn't legally here, so he was in jail for that. And then he was taken to the ICE detention center for his hearing, and then he was sent back to Mexico.

[Peter Angelo]

So he.

[Jorge]

That seems like there's too many middlemen.

[Peter Angelo]

What the fuck did he. But like, I mean, like, so I'm okay. He was being deported. He just like stayed past when he was supposed. He wasn't here legally. That was the reason he was arrested. It wasn't like he didn't do anything else besides that.

[Shannon]

No, his immigration related issues.

[Josie Marcelino]

Damn.

[Peter Angelo]

Sucks for him.

[Josie Marcelino]

Well, not really. He got a husband. He got some butthole artwork.

[Peter Angelo]

He gave some butthole artwork.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. That's a beautiful thing.

[Peter Angelo]

Even now he's going back to Mexico.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's.

[Jorge]

You did pretty good in prison.

[Peter Angelo]

Would I?

[Jorge]

I mean, I think you. I don't know if. I don't know if people would follow you.

[Peter Angelo]

Well, true, but. Yeah, I just don't think there'd be many of, like, guys I want there.

[Jorge]

Oh, I'm sure you go to like, the Triads or something.

[Peter Angelo]

Fair. All right.

[Jorge]

I'm sure there's.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, send me to Chinese prison.

[Jorge]

Yeah, there you go. You just go to the bodies exhibit.

[Peter Angelo]

I think I would hold up all right in there, but. Yeah, I feel I'd be still be low.

[Jorge]

Are you familiar what I'm talking about with the bodies exhibit?

[Josie Marcelino]

No. Are you gay?

[Jorge]

Oh, Peter's a homosexual.

[Josie Marcelino]

That was more surprising than finding out you did sumo wrestling.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

You're an interesting person. Thank you.

[Peter Angelo]

That should just be a new segment. You just bring me on. Bring comics who haven't met me yet.

[Jorge]

Hey, this Guy's queer.

[Josie Marcelino]

I love that. I get a lot of this. That's so cool.

[Jorge]

Seen one of these before.

[Josie Marcelino]

You're a whole new breed of person.

[Peter Angelo]

Truly a zoo animal.

[Jorge]

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[Josie Marcelino]

That rules.

[Jorge]

Very, very funny. You should. Between the two of us on the road, the place is just not. If you would like to watch a hotel conference room full of people from Pennsylvania, question why they bought tickets to a comedy show as they sweat profusely.

[Peter Angelo]

O. They did not know what to do with us.

[Jorge]

Nope. They were out of there.

[Peter Angelo]

We just got way too high.

[Jorge]

Oh, yes, we did. I knocked Peter out with an edible.

[Peter Angelo]

Holy fuck, I melted.

[Jorge]

Yep. That's the experience that opened it for me. You get Pizza Hut and then I get you too high to speak.

[Peter Angelo]

Yep.

[Josie Marcelino]

Can I go on the road with you?

[Jorge]

Of course.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's pretty fun.

[Peter Angelo]

I was literally walking down the hallway to go get the food and I could feel the hallway just getting sweat smaller and I was like, oh, just.

[Josie Marcelino]

Full Alice in Wonderland. That's amazing.

[Jorge]

Yeah. But yeah, the Peter is an interesting form of gay. Not a lot of gays look like they walk out of gas stations holding two monsters in one hand.

[Peter Angelo]

Which I do a lot.

[Jorge]

Yeah, I've. I've seen them do it a lot. Just double fisted. Monsters on the road.

[Peter Angelo]

I'm ready.

[Jorge]

Yeah, I also double fist monsters on the road, but it's very different thing. I do prefer the white ones, though.

[Peter Angelo]

I seem to now. Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, my God.

[Jorge]

Okay, yellow one. Did you find out if that was butthole art?

[Shannon]

I don't know that for sure.

[Jorge]

No worries. We're gonna move on.

[Josie Marcelino]

I do.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

We all agree. We know that Was butthole art.

[Peter Angelo]

No matter what, we're just. I don't care what it is.

[Jorge]

Butthole. That's what I'm calling it for.

[Peter Angelo]

Tiger King. Yeah.

[Jorge]

I think. Could you judge the tightness of a man's. Of anyone's asshole based on that art? Based on the gape or. No.

[Peter Angelo]

Some of those look pretty big.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, those were ready to receive.

[Peter Angelo]

You were falling in there.

[Josie Marcelino]

Look at those.

[Jorge]

He.

[Peter Angelo]

He hit some poppers before he put those down.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's like. Is. Are you like puckering your butthole to do that?

[Jorge]

I don't know.

[Peter Angelo]

See, I think my ass is too. I got too much. Too much cheek. I feel like my. My hole wouldn't reach the paper.

[Josie Marcelino]

You gotta. You gotta.

[Peter Angelo]

You gotta really spread it and really stamp it in there.

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta. You gotta do Bowser's down B attack.

[Peter Angelo]

That's my special move.

[Jorge]

Yeah. You jump up high and then you cut that asshole first.

[Peter Angelo]

That's how I sumo.

[Jorge]

Yeah. So yeah. Before we get into that because I would say I would love to have a collection of comics assholes. And we could trust compare. Much like my thing. I don't think I've ever brought it up on this show before. My favorite. The long and short of it, which was an old blog of groupies.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh yeah.

[Jorge]

I do remember.

[Peter Angelo]

I remember this website.

[Jorge]

It was. It was the long and short of it, Shannon. If you want to look it up. We've definitely looked at it before and it's groupies rating rockstar dicks and performance.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh shit.

[Jorge]

And some of. I'm the number one thing I learned if you're gonna fuck a band on the road system of it down because apparently they're just packing hat big swarthy Arab hammers.

[Josie Marcelino]

That.

[Peter Angelo]

That's.

[Josie Marcelino]

I feel like that would just make some of my heroes die for me if I read that blog. Like that's.

[Jorge]

Yeah. Well, as a Marilyn Manson fan, I wasn't happy.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh no.

[Jorge]

As a. And now who do. They said. Oh, Phil Anselmo. Yeah, they said Phil Anselmo was packing. He like. He's allowed to say the end.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah. That monster power tool.

[Jorge]

The monster power tool. It's no wonder Rob Halford is such a big Pantera fan. Feels a bit over 10 inches.

[Peter Angelo]

That's crazy.

[Josie Marcelino]

Everclear. Good for him.

[Jorge]

Shannon, read us.

[Shannon]

Sebastian Box Bach can deliver the good as most skinny tall guys can. He has been seen with a variety of groupies out on the road and reports are that he doesn't shower much. He does have an above average Cock and can be a lot of fun, but his ego is totally out of line, out of control, is known to be a very big asshole. So be careful.

[Jorge]

Okay?

[Peter Angelo]

Shocker.

[Jorge]

Who else do we want to say? Keep it going.

[Peter Angelo]

I can. I can attest. Tall, skinny guys. Holy. Just like, my God, all the blood is gone.

[Josie Marcelino]

They're just bone and dick. That's it.

[Peter Angelo]

Crazy.

[Jorge]

It's so not fair. I double teamed a girl with my friend who was like, not tall. He was like 5, 6, but he was so skinny. And he just.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, that's where all the nutrients go.

[Jorge]

The thing that he. I always say I took my dick out first. He took his dick out after me, and she made what I can only describe as a cookie monster sound. She went, oomph. And then it was like. It was like. It was like when people are playing the prices, right? And they're telling them their prizes in the order of how good they are. So it's like. I think my take out is like, she want a toaster.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

And like, he takes his jet ski out and say, I mean, oh, this. This poor girl having to pretend like she wanted to fuck me too.

[Josie Marcelino]

Is that like, Is that exciting? As a guy who's into guys, if you like, I feel like you can't lose either way because, like, on one end, if you're bigger than the other guy, that's just an exciting win. And then if you're not bigger, then you could be like, well, awesome. I get to play with this.

[Jorge]

I don't crave giant cops.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay. All right. Fair.

[Jorge]

It's not on my list.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's fair.

[Peter Angelo]

If a guy is that big, he's bottoming for me. Well, I think I had a threesome and the guy had a huge cock, but I just fucked him while he fucked her. So I was kind of like, I got to use him as my strap on.

[Jorge]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, that was great.

[Jorge]

Yeah, that was. That's fun.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, but all these skin. Yeah. These skinny guys with huge hogs. I'm like, all right, you're. I'm not doing that. Yeah, you're bottoming.

[Jorge]

Yeah. I just. I just remember this poor girl. Every time I was the one fucking, she kept going. So, you guys ready to switch or.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's rude.

[Jorge]

I know.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's not what you. You figure out a more couth way to say that, right?

[Jorge]

Or. Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

Or you bring in the righty.

[Jorge]

Yeah. Go down to the bullpen.

[Peter Angelo]

Ball, ball, ball. You've walked the bases loaded. Bring them in.

[Jorge]

Let's see this Few more. Long and short of. It's while we're. While we're. While we're playing around. I have Bon Jovi. Oh, Eminem. Yeah. Read Eminem.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Not a rock star, but I've gotten quite a few girls asking for info on him, so I guess I'll give in. Marshall is average length, about six or six and a half inches, but pretty thick. Loves to give oral and like most guys, like it even more in return. Very paranoid about people coming after him and is known to be a bitch.

[Jorge]

Yep.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay.

[Peter Angelo]

I can't believe someone wrote that much about the bass player from Papa Roach.

[Shannon]

Fred Jarris is an average Joe. Or should I say an average Fred D. Nothing too big, but nothing too small. He loves to eat and loves to get oral in return. He's a little on the kinky side and he really loves the freaky girls. Tries to use the press to get date and frequently comes off like a creepy stalker.

[Jorge]

Okay, Little Ralphie.

[Peter Angelo]

What the group he's trying to write. Bits.

[Josie Marcelino]

Peppers.

[Shannon]

Flea may seem the scruffy second choice to Anthony, but he's very attractive and intense in one hard, compact package. He's highly intelligent, sensitive, a great writer, and has beautiful, extremely rock hardcock of well proportioned length and width. Can stay rock hard for a while. Incredibly intense building and fluidity.

[Josie Marcelino]

Thanks. That's good.

[Jorge]

All right.

[Josie Marcelino]

That makes me happy.

[Jorge]

That Fleas.

[Peter Angelo]

Lovely.

[Jorge]

Anybody? Let's pick. Pick out anybody. We're excited. Ace Freely. I don't care about.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, let's see. The guy from the Black Crows.

[Josie Marcelino]

Did you guys hear about. Speaking of the rock star stuff, did you hear about Tommy Lee's wife? The whole shit that's going on with her?

[Jorge]

No, tell us.

[Josie Marcelino]

This happened literally, like, I think yesterday that it came out. So it's. Her name's Brittany Furlan. She was. I think she's a. She was on Vine. She dated a comedian that everybody at Guess Digital is very familiar with, but she married Tommy lee in, like, 2017 and over this weekend. And it came out that she came clean to Tommy Lee and was like, yeah, I've been cheating on you with Ronnie Ronnie Radke from Escape the Fate and from, like, Falling in Reverse. Yeah. And then Tommy Lee hit up him and was like, yo, what the fuck? You're cheating with my wife. He wasn't. She's been texting a catfish for, like, two years, and now she's, like, spiraling out on all of her social. She's like, no, I swear to God, it was him. I tried to fuck Rodney. I swear I was. Fuck. I. I need to fuck Rodney. And she's like, showing up at his house and stuff. And then his lawyers had to get involved and be like, girl, you weren't talking to him. Ronnie Radke, like, 122 or whatever on Snapchat is not him. That's why she got fully catfished by him. And now Tommy Lee's like, okay, well, we're done.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

She's like, who Thug? A woman who married Tommy Lee might be a moron.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, my God. It's. I. Like, I've never been so embarrassed for somebody else. Just reading, like, she's crashing out on her Instagram.

[Jorge]

That is humiliated.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's so bad to just think for.

[Peter Angelo]

Like, that, like, also to be like, she said to him, I've been cheating on you. But, like, really, she's just been texting someone.

[Josie Marcelino]

She'd been sexting this guy who's like, not been sending her stuff.

[Peter Angelo]

I can't wait till that guy comes forward.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know. I hope it's like a 15 year old in North Dakota who's just, like, had the best summer of his life. Like, that fudgeing rules. But first of all, to cheat with Ronnie Radke is embarrassing. Yeah, that's just embarrassing.

[Jorge]

First of all, to cheat on Tommy Lee.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Like what? More.

[Josie Marcelino]

Right?

[Peter Angelo]

Look, it's like tenant. Yeah, whatever, dude.

[Jorge]

They could drive a boat with it. We've seen it. Yeah, it's crazy.

[Josie Marcelino]

Do you remember when to hit you in the face? But whatever.

[Peter Angelo]

Remember when that story came out about him showing his penis to a crowd?

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

I made a joke and I was like, tommy Lee showed his dick to the public means 10 more inches of summer.

[Jorge]

Yeah. If you're. Well, I mean, the most embarrassing is the guy from dope.

[Peter Angelo]

What did he do besides being a dope?

[Jorge]

One of the guys. Shagram. If I'm wrong, it was one of the guys from dope got caught having sex with an underage girl in a mall parking lot. And when they asked her who he was, she said, he import impersonates the guy from dope she thought she was fucking who thought she was fucking an impersonator.

[Josie Marcelino]

What the f. Look.

[Jorge]

Who impersonates the band Dope?

[Peter Angelo]

There's no dope cover band who peaked.

[Jorge]

With the American Psycho soundtrack.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, I just. Hey, we're gonna start a cover band. What band do you want to cover? Dope?

[Jorge]

Because I see that there's like 90s nights now or like, new metal nights.

[Peter Angelo]

Sure.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Where they'll be like, rearrange the tribute to Limp Bizkit.

[Josie Marcelino]

Right.

[Jorge]

I, I, you know, Corn. Just move it down. But dope's pretty far down the.

[Peter Angelo]

Really far down the list. They're, like, next to, like, Chevelle Lower.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, no, Chevelle.

[Peter Angelo]

Chevelle's at least still making music.

[Jorge]

Okay.

[Peter Angelo]

Head Pe.

[Jorge]

No, I feel like that's higher.

[Peter Angelo]

That's. No, I definitely higher.

[Jorge]

Power man. 5,000 lower power moves. That's gonna have a few hits.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Fuel.

[Jorge]

No, live.

[Josie Marcelino]

Live. Live is.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, those pretty low. But the only thing dope is known for is that the singer is now the guy in Static X. Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Damn. I was at a concert this weekend with, like, four of the bands that we just named.

[Jorge]

Static X. Live is really good with the new singer.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, yes.

[Jorge]

I saw him at the gathering there.

[Peter Angelo]

Good.

[Jorge]

Who did you see? Yeah, who did you see?

[Josie Marcelino]

Well, the main event was Nickelback, but the main event, I, I love Nickelback, but Shinedown, Chevelle, Fuel.

[Peter Angelo]

There must have been so many divorced dads at this fucking concert.

[Josie Marcelino]

I saw a. I saw the craziest tattoo I've ever seen in my life. This was at Ocean City, Maryland. It was like, on the Boardwalk. It was a big, like, three stage festival over the last two days, full blown. Like, I took a picture because I was like, that's crazy that you have the whole fucking Confederate flag across your back. Like a Confederate flag back piece is nuts. But I was like, maybe you're just stupid as fuck. So I just could have got it.

[Jorge]

25 years ago, too.

[Josie Marcelino]

And I was like, okay, fine. He's walking around shirtless. It's out. I take a picture. I go. I'm like, going to a bar, off to, like, the side to go pee. And I look at the photo, and he has the 14 words in German above the Confederate flag tattooed. And I was like, all right, yeah. Whoa. And he's shirtless both days. I saw him both days. And I'm like, I holy. Like, I've never. And then a Japanese kanji on top of that, which I don't know what it was, but I was like, that feels weird to go with that. You're really kind of.

[Peter Angelo]

That's hilarious.

[Josie Marcelino]

Interesting with that one.

[Peter Angelo]

He's like, I'm cultured.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, it's like a. We are the world of, like, people that have committed war crimes.

[Jorge]

Like, it was a weird Pol Pot tattoo.

[Peter Angelo]

Is it Stalin?

[Jorge]

So where was this concert? Was this that Creed festival? Did Big J get you backstage passes?

[Josie Marcelino]

My mom got me free tickets. Thank you. No, it was Ocean City, Maryland. It was their boardwalk rock show. It was a fun show. Overall, it was really nice. But yeah, that was. I've never seen anything like that in my life.

[Jorge]

Lazy Legom in the chat says the Japanese kanji has similar connotations to swastikas. I don't know what that means.

[Josie Marcelino]

Well, maybe they saw I put it on my Instagram story, so I don't know if that person saw what I'm talking about.

[Peter Angelo]

I don't know.

[Jorge]

But they put another. They put another Confederate flag back piece in the chat. I have. No, listen, I grew up with thinking Pantera was the coolest. Yeah, me too. So I did not understand the hatred for the Confederate flag until it took me a long time to realize how it upsets people. And to this day, of all the ones, I'm the one that was like.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't know, out of everything, out of every symbol of hatred, I can see that one and go, all right. Depending upon where you're from, that could have just been something that you grew up around. And like, not even like at. Not even an ideology, just a symbol. Like, it's. I don't like it, but I can look at that one and be like, maybe you're just a little dumb.

[Peter Angelo]

It's always weird when I see it in Massachusetts, though.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's.

[Jorge]

Yeah, that's the thing.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, that's.

[Jorge]

I got hit with a fucking soda can from a pickup truck with a Confederate flag on it in Pittsburgh. And I'm like, this can't be. We're pretty far north.

[Peter Angelo]

Well, it's whatever, people. It's like with heritage, not hate. You're that far north. It's kind of hate.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jorge]

I think West Virginia and below, you're allowed to rock it sometimes. And with. With couth.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah. In high school, I had a Skynyrd T shirt and I'm pretty sure I had a Confederate flag on it.

[Jorge]

No, I definitely had Pantera shirts that had it.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

In my high school, the vice principal had a giant painting of Confederate soldiers riding into battle with a big ass Confederate flag on, like, their horseback over his desk.

[Peter Angelo]

Where the fuck did you go to school?

[Josie Marcelino]

Westminster, Maryland. It was Westminster High School, which, like, technically south of the Mason Dixon, but.

[Peter Angelo]

Still it feels pretty north for that feels pretty north.

[Josie Marcelino]

He did not. We didn't get along. Well, we didn't get along, but like, a lot of people probably did now in that area. A lot of people were right. Right there with them. Just right there with them. Fucked up area. But yeah, so it was like I saw that and just the Confederate flag back piece, I was like, that's pretty crazy. But then 14 words above it in German, that's like, I don't know. I was. I was like, I want to throw my ice cream at this guy. I'm scared of him.

[Jorge]

One time I saw a guy walking in my neighborhood that had a T shirt on that said, my boss is an Austrian painter.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, my.

[Josie Marcelino]

Jesus Christ.

[Jorge]

And I hit my wife in the arm. Like, look at that right now. She's like, what? And she's like, what? I was like, naming Austria. Oh.

[Josie Marcelino]

It was. Then it was awkward when I, like, because I was with my mom and my best friend, and I was like. I had to explain what that was. I was like, look at this picture. Okay? These are the 14 words. They're in German, and this is what they mean, and this is why. And then it was, why do you fucking know that? Because I watched too many World War II documentaries.

[Peter Angelo]

But, like, hell, yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's just. Yeah. I don't know. The whole thing made me feel really weird. And then what? I fucking learned from that because I put it on my Instagram story. There's like, 100 Nazis that follow me because I got a lot of, like, I'm unfollowing you, you dumb race trading.

[Peter Angelo]

Holy shit.

[Jorge]

After today's episode, It'll be about 104. Hey, you know that we can't help who follows us.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's. Yeah.

[Jorge]

And sometimes they're a little inflammatory when you have a guest who comes on and is really, really bad and makes everything about race. And then your comments blow up, and all of a sudden they make a video calling you a racist, and it's like, hey, you invited the racial vampire into the house by making everything about race. I'm sorry that my bats flew here first, and they had some unfortunate things to say.

[Josie Marcelino]

He's Frasier. I've been saying that all day.

[Jorge]

Who is Dracula? I ain't never heard of no Dracula. Motherfucker be biting people. Why he biting? Why he got them too long teeth? Motherfucker. We wearing a cape.

[Josie Marcelino]

So his sister's still in jail?

[Jorge]

Yeah. So he's Dracula. Why he sleeping in a coffin? Why that man in a coffin?

[Josie Marcelino]

You're upside down. You're gonna hurt your neck. Can't be doing that.

[Peter Angelo]

It's too much blood to your face. You gonna pass out.

[Jorge]

What's he drinking? Wait, Count Dracula? You want me to do math?

[Josie Marcelino]

This is the best way.

[Zach Amico]

Beaten off in a trash can.

[Jorge]

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[Josie Marcelino]

How do we get there from Tommy Lee's day?

[Jorge]

I don't know. Theo Vaughn grabs fan by throat at Nashville bar. I get this one.

[Josie Marcelino]

I saw it when he grabbed the.

[Peter Angelo]

Guy by the throat, right?

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you gotta just be a dude.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

And if somebody want. These guys are obviously trying to do like a video. Pissing them off. Yeah. And I think. Yeah, yeah. Very justified. But let's watch it and see how we feel. Jason, drop the photo. Yeah, he looks like a complete.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

No, he was pretty restrained too. Like, he didn't.

[Jorge]

His body language was definitely like, I'm trying to. With you.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

He was in his face.

[Jorge]

Yeah, he was in his. And I think he just said back up like a man does. That was just a. Theo Von's a dude.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. He wasn't attacking him. He wasn't swinging at him or anything. It was just too.

[Peter Angelo]

It's like he did it in a very, like, in controlled way. Like.

[Jorge]

Yeah. He wasn't screaming. Yeah, he was. Yeah. He just said this was a good.

[Peter Angelo]

That's about as, like.

[Jorge]

As respectfully.

[Peter Angelo]

Respectfully of like a throat push you can give someone like, Sean, is there.

[Jorge]

Any details with this? Are the people have any statements? Does he said anything?

[Shannon]

So it says that an eyewitness said that he used, quote, crushing force and was not playing around. However, a source with direct knowledge tells us that the guy with balloons was with a group of people who was repeatedly harassing the Ovan. And they're told. And he was antagonizing him using threatening languages. Language. So that this was, like, his, like, last straw, kind of.

[Jorge]

Yeah. I think that's just being a dude. I get it. Yeah. People don't know.

[Peter Angelo]

It's a. It's. It's kind of, like, amazing to me, like, how many people can just be, like, so oblivious that. Oh, because I watch their show or I see them on TV or whatever, I should be able to, like, just get right in their face immediately.

[Jorge]

Like, no. Why is.

[Peter Angelo]

Like, you don't need to be a public figure to know, like, hey, stop being a dickhead.

[Jorge]

This was a few years ago. So this is before, like, they were at the height of their fame. But I watched somebody one time ask Sal from Impractical Jokers if they could ride back with him to Staten island at a comedy show. Never met him before. They were, hey, Sal, did you drive here? He's like, yeah, why? They're like, oh, we're from Staten Island. Can we drive back with you? And they honestly asked him that.

[Peter Angelo]

Crazy.

[Jorge]

And he was like, on tv, like, yeah, sure.

[Peter Angelo]

Get in the car.

[Josie Marcelino]

I got. I got four seats.

[Jorge]

I had this thought the other day, and we'll get back to what we're talking about, but how much do Joe admire from Impractical Jokers? Oh, P. Diddy, right now that he.

[Peter Angelo]

Fucking taking all the heat off of them.

[Jorge]

Oh, boy. Everyone forgot about those bad boys real quick.

[Peter Angelo]

I sure did.

[Josie Marcelino]

I mean, I didn't know Murr did anything. I thought it was just Joe.

[Jorge]

No, they went and they tried to get Mer, too.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, shit.

[Jorge]

But we. Hey, listen, we're big, impractical jokers defenders here.

[Josie Marcelino]

I love them.

[Jorge]

I'm on this. I'm on the side of my boys.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't know what Mer. Even.

[Jorge]

He. He's. He's accused of being a little flirty and answered a few emails to someone who's how old? He said, I'll wait till you're. He said, email me when you're 18, which to me is respectful.

[Josie Marcelino]

It Shows restraints.

[Jorge]

It's called putting a pin in it. Nowadays we gotta call it grooming. In my day, we called putting a pin in it.

[Josie Marcelino]

Can I share? I feel like I've been talking way too much. Can I share something very. Thank you. Can I share something very embarrassing in the vein of I'll wait for you or wait until you're 18? Is that.

[Peter Angelo]

I wanna know which side you're all of this now. Fuck.

[Josie Marcelino]

I was the child, but I'm. I think I was also the predator being a child. So I was 11.

[Jorge]

Oh, no.

[Josie Marcelino]

It was in sixth grade. And I only learned about this. I get like. I remember it because I was going through like my old diaries and stuff a couple of weeks ago. And so I. I was in love.

[Jorge]

Thank you.

[Josie Marcelino]

I was obsessed with my 6 grade math teacher. I don't know why, but he was like 22. And I was. I'm so. I'm so fucking awkward. And I was even worse back then. And so I had just seen like one too many romance movies, I guess. And at the end of the year, I wrote him a letter, like a 14 page letter, basically saying that I love you and I'm going to wait for you. And I gave it to him. And he was. He never came back to school after that. Like, I gave it to him right before the summer. He didn't come back the next year.

[Peter Angelo]

He's like, oh, I have to quit immediately.

[Jorge]

My job here is done.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

And I.

[Peter Angelo]

You make one sixth grade girl wet and you're just like, I'm quitting, but.

[Jorge]

I think I'm taking the train to Capital City. Open this note when I get there. Mr. Bertram.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's so embarrassing to like write a letter, like an unrequited love letter at all. Like 14 pages of a love letter is crazy. But the. Imagine you got it from a child. Like, what do you do with that?

[Peter Angelo]

At that point, the look on his face must have just been like, I.

[Josie Marcelino]

Just gave it to him. And I was so shy and nervous. I, like, I just like went out and I was like, okay, this is gonna be good. I put my email, my home phone number in there. I didn't have a cell phone yet. Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.

[Peter Angelo]

What did you write for 14 pages?

[Josie Marcelino]

It was too much. I was in my emo face. It was really poetic.

[Jorge]

Did you quote songs?

[Josie Marcelino]

I almost assuredly did.

[Peter Angelo]

And what. I was like, he's 22. So. Also a shithead age, too.

[Jorge]

So it's too young. Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

It's too close.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Like And I. And I think that, you know. Yeah, he was like a 22 year old.

[Peter Angelo]

Shouldn't be teaching 6th graders going through puberty.

[Jorge]

Yeah, no, that's too.

[Peter Angelo]

That's gonna some kids up.

[Jorge]

When I was in sixth grade, our student teacher was like this big, like hunky do that all the chicks love.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

And I just. I had to be fucking driving them wild. These girls must have been slick watching Mr. Pun. Oh, dude, this is such a fucking.

[Peter Angelo]

He had lots of 14 page notes, dude.

[Jorge]

So that was around the time I'm a little kid. I wanted contacts and I was trying to explain it to my mom. And then I had found out that you can get your eye color change with contacts. And I said to my mom, this is such a great. My mom's interpretation of things. I said. All the girls talk about Mr. Pine's blue eyes. If we can change the color of my eyes, I want to do that because so girls will like my eyes. And my mom went into parent teacher conference and in front of everyone went, let me look into your eyes. Zachary says, you have beautiful eyes. And it's like. And then she wonders why I'm a fucking faggot when I grow up and I'm half a mo. She's just been outing me before I was ready and misinterpreting it completely. All I wanted was a little six year plus.

[Peter Angelo]

I wanted girls.

[Jorge]

Same thing I want now. Some things never choose. The heart wants what it wants. Okay.

[Peter Angelo]

Your mom saw through that. Like, oh, Zach wants to talk to girls. You're like, no, he doesn't.

[Jorge]

Yeah. She's like, then this is the same woman who literally would walk behind me in the house going, are you a gay person?

[Josie Marcelino]

Just tell me now.

[Jorge]

Rip the band aid off, Zachary.

[Peter Angelo]

What did you finally tell her?

[Jorge]

Never. I've never come out to my either of my parents.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's so much weirder.

[Jorge]

I just started doing a show called Bye guys and let them fill it in. I never ever came out to either. Never talked about it once. They've never brought it up.

[Peter Angelo]

Every time they see your wife, they're just still amazed.

[Jorge]

Oh, dude. I think every day they can't believe it. My Cuban grandmother told my wife when she met her, I can't believe you're a woman. It was the only time she ever met my wife before she died. And she said, she said, I'm so happy Zachary's with a woman. We can't believe it.

[Peter Angelo]

We all lost the bet.

[Jorge]

Yeah, they're all just handed to somebody at 20.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's probably why she saw you were with a woman and she's like, I can die now.

[Jorge]

I can go now.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, I've seen everything.

[Jorge]

I was just. It was so fucking humiliating. I will never, ever. It was as bad as the first time I met a kid. I was, like, hanging out with, like, a group of kids, and my mom walked, and it was like, all dudes. And they were like. I think they were, like, playing, like, green. Like, I was little. Little like maybe like, second grade and somebody showing me, like, Green Day and shit. And my mom walks in and goes, did you tell your new friends you got the Backstreet Boys cd? Your mom got it for him. Pretty cool, huh? All right, moving on. I love when people just see my trauma happen in real time, go across my face.

[Josie Marcelino]

And she was trying to be such a good, cool mom.

[Jorge]

I know. She really was. That was her version of Tang and lemon squares. Yeah. Go in and tell them. Tell him, Zach. He's got that backstreet.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, they're talking about music.

[Josie Marcelino]

Some points.

[Jorge]

Yep. Oh, boy.

[Josie Marcelino]

He's gonna be in with the cool kids.

[Jorge]

Yeah. I said this the other day. We were talking. The last. I was with my mom. We were talking about how because my mom just hated every girl that would be interested in me just would find a reason to hate them either. I don't like their family. She's weird.

[Peter Angelo]

Doesn't have a penis.

[Jorge]

Yeah. Just whatever. It was. I always said my mom, the only nice thing I've ever heard her say about a girl was about a girl I grew up with. She goes, oh, she's got big, beautiful penmanship. I saw one of her essays on the wall, Zachary, the handwriting on her. That's the kind of girl you should be looking for. Nice handwriting. The first time I had a girlfriend, my mom went to volunteer at the school for something. She comes home, she goes, I saw your girlfriend today in the lunchroom, Zachary. She eats like a truck driver. I don't know what that means.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know exactly what that means.

[Jorge]

I don't know what that means. She sucked dick like a truck stop hooker.

[Josie Marcelino]

So watch me eat a meal next time I'm here, and I'll show you what it. To eat like a truck.

[Jorge]

Exactly. She eats like a truck driver.

[Josie Marcelino]

Does she like your wife?

[Jorge]

Yeah. My. Was that. That was a pretty easy. Because my wife's a teacher. My mom used to be a teacher.

[Josie Marcelino]

Gotcha. Okay.

[Jorge]

It was a pretty easy. It made her feel good.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's good.

[Jorge]

And my wife's very quiet and nice. Before that, there were A few that, that she was not thrilled with. She never, she never cared for them. All right, update. So we watched a Mexican beauty influencer in the middle of a video get executed gangland style. And people couldn't figure out what it was. Well, we have an update as to why it may have happened. Shannon.

[Shannon]

Okay, so she was a 23 years old Valeria Marquez. And so apparently she was dating a cartel leader. Ex boyfriend though, part of the double R, I guess, cartel. And so he got mad that she.

[Jorge]

Was getting pronounced double.

[Shannon]

So it's dopey. So he was mad that she was getting expensive gifts from her followers and that's it? He just decided to kill her.

[Peter Angelo]

And they were already broken up?

[Shannon]

They were already broken up, yeah. And she also said before she passed, she had told friends that if something happened to her, it was her ex boyfriend.

[Josie Marcelino]

So I, I heard with this too, was that the person that was in there with her recording before the guy came in was like her good friend who's now dating that cartel guy.

[Jorge]

I did not hear that. It could be the lady who turned off the video.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, it was, it was. Whoever was recording was apparently like her good friend who like knew that that was coming.

[Shannon]

Do you want to see the video again?

[Jorge]

100% Benny Jets. Whose tits are those? Phenomenal. Yep, that'll do it.

[Josie Marcelino]

Damn.

[Jorge]

The old double tap. Oh no. You're gonna drop your toy.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's awful.

[Peter Angelo]

Same.

[Jorge]

Another.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's her friend.

[Jorge]

Yep.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, I think she's like, oh, yeah. I think she had something to do with it.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, I've never. I would not be filming my best friend and just be like, oh, shit.

[Peter Angelo]

All right, well, yeah, turn us off.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, cool.

[Jorge]

Manny.

[Peter Angelo]

That's fucking insane.

[Jorge]

I mean, isn't that what you expect though? Like, you can't date a cartel guy.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, they're not usually cool people.

[Jorge]

You can't work for one and be like, oh, I'm going to cut this off.

[Josie Marcelino]

Like, yeah.

[Jorge]

Isn't that a lifetime?

[Josie Marcelino]

That's a blood in, blood out, I think is what they say.

[Jorge]

Yeah, right. Well, that's what you wanted to happen with that teacher when you were 11.

[Peter Angelo]

That was come in, come out.

[Jorge]

No, it was blood too. There would have been blood.

[Josie Marcelino]

There would have been blood.

[Jorge]

There will be blood. There would have been blood. I guess so.

[Peter Angelo]

I wonder how long. So wait, so he, the cartel guy wasn't mad about the breakup. He was mad that she was getting gifts from people?

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm sure there was probably some.

[Peter Angelo]

I know, but like, like that was irrelevant. That she was Getting gifts.

[Jorge]

I'm sure it was also that she had a public Persona as influencer and he didn't want her outing him. Maybe outing him. Maybe having a better lifestyle, having that story, having somebody else have her.

[Josie Marcelino]

There is a resentment. As a lady who's dated men, sometimes when you all break up and then life goes well for you, they get very angry at that. I guess if you're in the cartel, it's just angry enough to kill you about it. Sometimes you just get angry text messages. But. Oh, I. I've never dated a cartel guy.

[Peter Angelo]

You should date that Confederate flag guy.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's. Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

See how it goes.

[Josie Marcelino]

He had. I. I should show you the photo. Sorry. I keep kicking you. That's. I'm gonna uncross my legs.

[Peter Angelo]

It's fine.

[Josie Marcelino]

But I. There was so. In the photo, he's with his lady. And there's something about white supremacists. People that think white people are the superior race are usually the ugliest people I've ever seen. This lady just looked like a melted pile of candle wax. It was awful. And she had like. Like, you ever see, like old ladies hair when they dye it and then they pull it back and you could just see so much scalp and just. She was disgusting.

[Jorge]

But she wasn't one of the hot. She wasn't one of the hot pieces of. At the Nickelback shells. Hey. Hey.

[Josie Marcelino]

There are a couple of us that look fine. He was at the Three Days Grace show.

[Jorge]

Okay.

[Peter Angelo]

Well, that's like American history accent. You think the. The white supremacist chick. They all would look like that, but they don't.

[Jorge]

Oh, yeah. There's only one for USA Bulk at that party. The rest of them look like even Supley.

[Peter Angelo]

It's all the women.

[Jorge]

Yeah, that was. I mean, that was. Dude, shiprocked.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

All the women look like Greg the Hammer Valentine. They all had Eagles jerseys on. It was. They were. They. They treated Big J like he was Roddy Dangerfield. If I could back to school. They all do. Hey, funny guy.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah, sounds terrible.

[Jorge]

How long.

[Peter Angelo]

I want to know how long that. Had they been like, broken up with, you think before he ordered the hit?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. How long had he been stewing?

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

I think you get. I think you get three months to get out of the country.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

I don't think you can date a cartel member and stay in Mexico.

[Josie Marcelino]

No.

[Peter Angelo]

Do you think. And also do. I bet.

[Jorge]

And you probably can't go somewhere in Mexico adjacent.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, no, like Central or South America.

[Jorge]

Oh, no. I was gonna say LA Nevada.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Peter Angelo]

But, like, she definitely. I feel like, I don't know, misjudgment looking at her and her getting, like, more popular. She was like, oh, yeah, I could break up with them and fine. It's no big deal. I'm a big deal now. Nope.

[Jorge]

Yeah. I think when they kill people with chainsaws on video.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah. Oh, this chick thought she would be fine, though.

[Jorge]

Yeah. This girl's life really did turn into a brewery assault. Shout out brewery.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah. Rest in peace.

[Jorge]

All right, we'll do one or two more things before we get out of here. NYC performance artist divides people with sidewalk carpet stunt Some would call perverted.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna show you the video first.

[Peter Angelo]

I hope so, because that confused the hell out of me. Person inside this carpet.

[Jorge]

Oh, some Kevin Carpet. Shit.

[F]

There's a person in there.

[Peter Angelo]

Hello.

[Jorge]

I'm well aware of that. Of. I've never seen this in public in the street.

[F]

The human carpet, rather.

[Peter Angelo]

Are we supposed to.

[F]

It's been going around for literal years, typically in the party scenes.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[F]

What I don't love about this is that's not consensual at all because nobody knows that there's a person in there. It's actually kind of alarming because they're, like, moving around and such. Someone could trip. But again, if it's like, a desire or. I feel like that should be, like, disclosed between all parties instead of, you know, having to hop over him.

[Josie Marcelino]

But I don't.

[Jorge]

There's a man rolled up in the carpet.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, but why is that like a.

[Jorge]

Because he's definitely jerking off into getting stepped on. Why else are you a carpet?

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, I just assumed he was homeless and using that for shelter, so.

[Jorge]

Okay, Cole.

[Peter Angelo]

He'll usually get out of the way.

[Jorge]

She also said he's been in the NYC party scene for years. If that's who I think it is, that's Kevin Carpet. Of course I know that.

[Peter Angelo]

Sure you do.

[Jorge]

And because there's a couple carpet. There's more than one carpet, man. I used when I used to go to, like, industrial parties.

[Peter Angelo]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Kevin Carpet would be in front of the bar so that girls in their goth boots had to stand on him while they ordered their drinks. And he would just be in there all night. And you know what? He didn't like you stepping on him. Me stepping on him, or insisting that I snuggle him and getting on the floor and trying to cuddle the entire carpet. He would get very angry.

[Peter Angelo]

But I don't be a carpet, though.

[Jorge]

I agree.

[Josie Marcelino]

Stupid fucking life.

[Jorge]

And there's no way.

[Josie Marcelino]

He's not okay.

[Peter Angelo]

How do you discover that fucking kink?

[Jorge]

Yeah. Did you just look up Kevin Carpet?

[Shannon]

No. So this is Kevin Carpet. This is another picture from the same article.

[Jorge]

Oh, that is Kevin Carpet.

[Shannon]

This is Kevin.

[Peter Angelo]

At least he's like.

[Jorge]

I know that I shouldn't be on a first name basis with Mr.

[Peter Angelo]

Carpet.

[Jorge]

Yeah, it should be Mr. Carpet.

[Peter Angelo]

Is that for sure him?

[Shannon]

Yeah, it says Kevin Carpet on in the article.

[Peter Angelo]

I mean, I know this one is, but we're saying, like the one that the street one is also him.

[Jorge]

This is article. Yeah. Right.

[Josie Marcelino]

It can't be that many of them, right?

[Jorge]

I recall. I recall a Kevin Carpet in my life.

[Peter Angelo]

This remind me there was a dude with a wire fest this weekend over at Knockdown center, and during one of the sets, some dude jumped up on the turntables and then just started rubbing his ass on the DJs turntables as they tried to throw him off the platform.

[Jorge]

That's pretty funny.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, my God. It looked fucking ridiculous.

[Jorge]

Did you see a guy got arrested at WrestleMania Fan Fest for rubbing his ass on the Logan Paul dummy?

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, yes, I did see that. That's. He should do that to Logan Paul.

[Jorge]

So they had a. It was like, you know, like the. The training dummies. Yeah, they had one. They had one is Dominic Mysterio. One is Logan Paul. And you could hit it with a chair and it would say how hard you hit it. And I guess a guy took his pants down and rubbed his ass on it. But then he got arrested for indecent exposure.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's just good fun.

[Jorge]

No, you can't show your butthole anymore. And I think you get. You get on the registry.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, yeah. That's why children around you.

[Josie Marcelino]

What the fuck is this country coming to?

[Jorge]

I think if there's kids around, you can't take your asshole out.

[Josie Marcelino]

I mean.

[Jorge]

Sorry.

[Josie Marcelino]

All right.

[Peter Angelo]

How am I gonna. My ink face?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. Did he stamp his asshole beforehand before rubbing it? Because then that's art.

[Peter Angelo]

We should do that instead of signatures.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Oh, yeah. Just a little. Yeah, dude, that would be so much easier. You know how, like, Cody Rhodes will have somebody, like, moving the paper for him and he just signs a million. Yeah, you just bounce with your ass in ink.

[Josie Marcelino]

At Skankfest this year, no one's allowed to use their fucking signature. You all have to do. Everybody has to do asshole prints.

[Jorge]

Squats.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, that's like the sumo wrestler. They just do hands really fast.

[Jorge]

Oh, yeah, tell us about. Tell us about your sumo stuff.

[Peter Angelo]

I just decided that, like, I got real into it, and I found one in Austin, Texas, and I was like, I want to try that. It turns out I'm good at it. The rules helps because I'm a fat guy who can move a little bit.

[Jorge]

Maybe you're also a power lifter.

[Peter Angelo]

That works, too. It's just. It's just so fun because you literally start and then just besides, like, throwing punches, I guess, really do whatever you can to knock the person over or throw them down. And it's great when a person's smaller than you, you just pick them up in the air and throw them. So it gets all, like, the aggress. Like, it mixes well with wrestling. Like, I get that aggressiveness, but I don't have to worry about, like, choreographing. Yeah, but it's fucking. It's a blast.

[Jorge]

How was it on your knees?

[Peter Angelo]

It's. It gets pretty brutal.

[Jorge]

Yeah. Let's see. Let's see what.

[Peter Angelo]

This dude was a beast, too.

[Jorge]

Pretty cool dude.

[Peter Angelo]

And then we got real tired right about here.

[Josie Marcelino]

He started red.

[Peter Angelo]

This guy was number two at nationals.

[Josie Marcelino]

That rules.

[Jorge]

There's a big, beefy men slapping. And now the. The. They. Okay. You have the. I didn't realize you also have the piece on.

[Peter Angelo]

I had them awashi on as well.

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And is that just for grip?

[Peter Angelo]

It's. I don't know.

[Jorge]

I.

[Peter Angelo]

That's part of what it is. But it is just, like, ceremonial. Like, it's what they all wear and. But yeah, so. But there's so many different, like, techniques to do it. Like, you could literally, if you wanted to, just slap people in the face until. And push. And push them out. What?

[Josie Marcelino]

Could you tickle them?

[Peter Angelo]

I try that next time. You probably could.

[Jorge]

Can you crouch down and just do palm strikes?

[Peter Angelo]

You could you just. Like, just a E. Honda.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's wild. That looks so fun.

[Peter Angelo]

It is a blast. There's a New York sumo club actually, too, as well. They just held a tournament in Brooklyn on Saturday. I was still rolling on acid at Water Festival, so I didn't go.

[Jorge]

Well, that's good. I'm glad you're trying out.

[Peter Angelo]

Just trying to add. I'm just. New side quests, man. Just.

[Jorge]

That's a fun one. I mean, I would. Honestly, I would debate doing sumo. It's gang fest. If I was. If I. If I. If I got my cardio up, I. I think it'd be pretty fun.

[Peter Angelo]

I'm down.

[Josie Marcelino]

You should. That'd be so fun.

[Jorge]

It would be really fun. I'm not fighting you. I'M fighting some other Porsche Fetchlow.

[Peter Angelo]

Oh, come on. Yeah, let me fight someone. Come on. I didn't train.

[Josie Marcelino]

There will be people that sign up to fight you.

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah, sure. People can fight. I'm gonna fight Mike Suarez or something that. I'm not fighting a man. I want to get away. All right, we're going to call it here. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Really appreciate it. If you love the show, use that promo code, zoo. And thank you so much to my wonderful guests today, Josie Marzalino and Peter Angelo. We will see you this Wednesday here on Zack Amico's Morning Zoom.

[Zach Amico]

Is morning time to him Papa Baco, chug it down just like favorite ob and join the crew. It's acamiko work morning, too. It's acamiko work morning, too.