0012. Derek Gaines and Robbie Goodwin

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0012: Derek Gaines and Robbie Goodwin

Release Date: May 25, 2025

Hosted by GaS Digital Network

---

1. Introduction and Welcome (01:35 – 02:31)

The episode kicks off with host Zach Amico welcoming listeners to another vibrant installment of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo. Joined by co-hosts Derek Gaines from No Need for Apologies and the guest, Robbie Goodwin from the Crowder Boys, the trio sets a lively and humorous tone for the show.

• Zach Amico [01:35]: "Good morning, good morning, good morning and welcome to another Wednesday here on Zac Amico's Morning Zoo."

2. Serial Killers and True Crime Discussions (05:01 – 10:10)

The conversation shifts to a chilling news story about human remains found near Taylor Swift's Rhode Island mansion, sparking fears of a serial killer active in New England. The hosts delve into patterns of body dumping along the East Coast, discussing possible culprits and historical serial killer references.

• Zach Amico [05:01]: "So within just 0.3 miles from Taylor Swift's home in Rhode Island... they found some remains."

• Derek Gaines [06:00]: "And there's a very clear pattern."

The discussion extends to infamous serial killers, including references to the "Go Go Beach Killer" and the impact of media portrayals in films like Cruising. They explore how certain shows and movies have historically depicted LGBTQ+ individuals as perpetrators, reflecting societal biases.

• Robbie Goodwin [09:35]: "Cruising is the Pacino movie where he's... trying to catch a killer."

3. Media Critique: Ryan Murphy’s Shows (10:10 – 15:18)

The trio critiques Ryan Murphy's television productions, particularly American Horror Story, highlighting the exaggerated and often controversial representations of characters. They discuss the blending of horror elements with LGBTQ+ themes and the reception these portrayals receive.

• Shannon [13:27]: "I love how the lady still had to put on the stethoscope and be like, yeah, I think that did."

4. Pop Culture and Movie References (15:18 – 33:02)

A lively segment ensues where the hosts debate their favorite TV series, specifically comparing Breaking Bad and its prequel Better Call Saul. They analyze character developments, plot decisions, and the overall satisfaction derived from the series' conclusions.

• Eric Gaines [30:35]: "I like the end of Saul better than the end of Breaking Bad. It's more satisfying."

The conversation seamlessly weaves into discussions about the Fast and Furious franchise, touching on inconsistencies in timelines and character portrayals, all delivered with comedic flair.

• Robbie Goodwin [35:29]: "That's so Aztecs."

5. Interactive Segment: "Evil Bitches" Game (36:36 – 43:42)

Engaging the audience with humor, the hosts introduce a game where they analyze mugshots of women, guessing the nature of their crimes and ranking them based on appearance and perceived personality traits. This light-hearted segment blends dark humor with interactive fun.

• Shannon [37:04]: "I was gonna say petty theft or maybe some scammer."

• Zach Amico [37:36]: "Possession of a firearm... possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute."

6. Newsworthy Incidents and Humorous Takes (43:42 – 66:20)

The discussion transitions to bizarre news stories, including a delivery driver caught defecating at customers' homes. The hosts humorously dissect the incident, sharing personal anecdotes and cultural observations about bathroom etiquette and public hygiene.

• Shannon [64:03]: "And the surveillance footage shows the driver... moments after Shorty."

• Robbie Goodwin [65:21]: "It's not from Home Depot."

7. "How’s Your Duty?" – Bathroom Humor Segment (66:20 – 72:04)

Embracing the show's playful nature, the hosts delve into a segment focused on bathroom-related humor. They share amusing personal experiences, discuss the challenges of finding clean public restrooms, and joke about various toilet habits and solutions.

• Shannon [68:15]: "She might have been marking her territory."

• Eric Gaines [69:04]: "They say if you don't shit, your teeth turn yellow, your breath stink..."

8. Closing Remarks and Goodbyes (72:04 – 74:26)

Wrapping up the episode, Zach Amico thanks the guests Derek Gaines and Robbie Goodwin for their participation. The hosts exchange final jokes and sign-offs, maintaining the show's signature blend of chaos and humor.

• Eric Gaines [73:43]: "Then of course. This shows up to be some fun show."

• Robbie Goodwin [74:26]: "Morning, too. Whoa."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Amico [05:01]: "They found some remains... no foul play in this death right now."
• Shannon [13:27]: "I love how the lady still had to put on the stethoscope and be like, yeah, I think that did."
• Eric Gaines [30:35]: "I like the end of Saul better than the end of Breaking Bad. It's more satisfying."
• Shannon [37:04]: "I was gonna say petty theft or maybe some scammer."
• Robbie Goodwin [65:21]: "It's not from Home Depot."

---

Conclusion

Episode 0012 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo offers a dynamic mix of dark humor, pop culture critiques, and interactive segments that engage listeners from start to finish. With guests like Derek Gaines and Robbie Goodwin, the show masterfully balances chaotic discussions with insightful commentary, all wrapped in a comedic package that keeps the audience entertained and amused.

Transcript

[Zach Amico]

Craving your next action packed adventure, Audible delivers thrills of every kind on your command. Like project Hail Mary by Andy Weir where a lone astronaut must save humanity from extinction. Narrated with stunning intensity by Ray Porter. From electrifying suspense and daring quests to spine tingling horror and romance and far off realms, unleash your adventure aside with gripping titles that'll keep you guessing. Discover exclusive Audible originals, hotly anticipated new releases and must listen bestsellers that hook you from the first minute. Because Audible knows there's no greater thrill than the one that speaks to you. Discover what lies beyond the edge of your seat. Start your free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery us that's audible.com wondery us.

[Eric Gaines]

Fill her up.

[Robbie Goodwin]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Map is waiting don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a.

[Shannon]

Coffee and join the crew.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's a miko morning soon. Wake up, wake up, wake.

[Eric Gaines]

Good morning, good morning, good morning and welcome to another Wednesday here on Zach Amico's Morning Zoo. Don't worry about it, buddy. Happens. We're just getting started. I am joined by two wonderful gentlemen across the table from me from no need for apologies, it's Eric Gaines.

[Shannon]

What's going on?

[Eric Gaines]

How you doing, man?

[Shannon]

Thanks for having me. You know.

[Eric Gaines]

Thank you for being here, buddy.

[Shannon]

A little disheveled, just Woke up at 116.

[Eric Gaines]

Hey, you know what?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm happy you made it.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Thank you for being here, buddy.

[Shannon]

I made it too. Yeah, thanks for the call.

[Eric Gaines]

Thank you. And also from the Crowder Boys, it's our good buddy, Robbie Goodwin. How you doing, dog?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Hey, man, thanks for having me.

[Eric Gaines]

Thank you for being here. How you been living, buddy?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Dude, I'm good. I'm happy to be in the zoo for the first time.

[Eric Gaines]

Well, welcome. I hope you enjoy it. It's a very. This is a safe space for everybody. Yeah, this is just. It's calm, relaxing and fun.

[Shannon]

Right?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Who did they opening to?

[Shannon]

Me.

[Eric Gaines]

No, no, no, I don't.

[Shannon]

I'm not.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm just happy to be here. The theme is by my buddy John Brennan. It sounds great. He did the theme for Joe Bob on Shutter. Oh, no way.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's awesome.

[Eric Gaines]

Various bands if you want to look it up. John Brennan and the Big Feet is the. The band. Cool. Let's get plugs out of the way while we're going off up. This is gonna air a week from it. So it's this Wednesday.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Okay, cool. Great. So tonight actually, the Crowder boys, 7pm, me, Dalton Pruitt, and Crack Amico step into the arena of ideas. It's the last pod. It's the last podcast left out there. And. And also this Saturday, I'll be in Jersey City at the Riffs and Thrifts show, so check that out too, please.

[Eric Gaines]

Very cool. Mr. Gaines.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Make sure you listen to no need for apologies. Me and Dave Temple, we. We shoot every Monday, so it comes out every Wednesday and Sundays. Is like the special behind the paywall thing. And I think me and Dave Tim will be in Baltimore at the Baltimore at the Port comedy club, the 23rd and 24th of this month. So, yeah, come check us out. Should be a good time.

[Eric Gaines]

Fantastic. If you guys want to see me live, go to punch up that live zachoneko. Follow me on Instagram at Zach is not funny. If you're watching this live. I am currently on the road with Juggalo Championship Wrestling, so you can check out their website. We are gonna be in West Virginia. We're gonna be in South Carolina. We're gonna be in Reading, Pennsylvania, Liverpool, New York, and I think one more day. So I'll be out on tour with the clowns and then I'm coming back after that. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. And if you love the show, we know you do. Heading over to gas digital.com use that promo code, Zoo Z O O and you get yourself a dollar fifty off a month your subscription, as well as episodes early ad free and uncensored. The archives of this show, all the great shows on the network, including Real Ass Podcast, Lewis and Zach, Legion of Skanks, and my other show, Zach Amigos, Midnight Spook show. You get access to the chat and. Hey, I'll kiss you on the mouth. Thanks for tuning in. Really appreciate it. Okay, so let's keep it fun and light. Human remains found down the road from Taylor Swift's Rhode island mansion amid fears of a New England active serial killer. Oh, now, Phyllis in Shannon, that's a setup.

[Zach Amico]

So within just 0.3 miles from Taylor Swift's home in Rhode Island. And there's a picture of her mansion here. You can see it. There it is.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, wow, that's some real road on that shit. Yeah, right?

[Zach Amico]

They found some. They did find remains. Apparently they found. This is also.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Damn, I wish I lived there.

[Shannon]

No, you know what? The house looked like, that looked like the house from the Good Son Macaulay Corgan was terrorizing that white family.

[Zach Amico]

There's a little cliff right there.

[Eric Gaines]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

But so apparently police are saying right now that they. There is no foul play in this death right now. But apparently there's been dozens of human bodies and remains found in multiple northeast eastern states.

[Eric Gaines]

And there's, like, a map of it, too. I believe. There's.

[Robbie Goodwin]

There's really.

[Eric Gaines]

Somebody's dumping bodies. And there's a very clear pattern.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Whoa. In Rhode Island.

[Eric Gaines]

It's like the whole east Coast. Right. Shannon. Or north.

[Zach Amico]

In the north.

[Eric Gaines]

New England.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

And what other states are that? Because it's like a very clear line, I believe.

[Zach Amico]

Second, Let me find that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Was it Peter?

[Eric Gaines]

Well, because there's. There's that killer, Peter Griffin, right?

[Shannon]

Yes, I figured. I figured he was doing that.

[Eric Gaines]

There's that. That killer. And then there's a killer that's supposedly drowning dudes when they leave bars.

[Shannon]

Wow.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Actually, yeah. Outside the garage, like, two. Two, like, young boys wound up, like, drowned, like, in that river over there.

[Eric Gaines]

So what they think is that some. It might be a group. And they pick up or they say they're gonna walk drunk dudes home. And the dudes keep. They keep getting found fully clothed. Wow. In, like, rivers or small bodies of water. So they think they're probably either killing them and throwing them or. More likely what I think is they. They're drunk. They have to piss.

[Shannon]

Oh.

[Eric Gaines]

And then they're pushing them in and they're so drunk they can't get out.

[Shannon]

Jeffrey Droner.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Jeffrey Drowner. Yeah, like that.

[Eric Gaines]

There we go.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I'm gonna kill you in the river there.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. So look at all these towns where we've been finding bodies.

[Shannon]

Oh, look at that.

[Eric Gaines]

What I would assume. I'm gonna go. And this is old school Trucker.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

These are his routes.

[Shannon]

How about that? You know? Yeah. Jesus Christ.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm gonna go trucker. Or some type of drive, like Van job, something.

[Shannon]

Trucker.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. And he's going up and down.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Connect. There's really nothing to do in Connecticut but kill people, I guess.

[Shannon]

Norwalk.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Look at all those. Look at all those ones in Connecticut.

[Shannon]

Yeah, right.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, not Pawtucket.

[Shannon]

Framingham. Oh, yeah. They should do out in Plymouth. I. I guess you gotta.

[Eric Gaines]

And basically there's a line to follow. And it looks like he went, well, I'm being too obvious, so I gotta drive out of my way for these two.

[Shannon]

Yeah. That's pretty crazy.

[Eric Gaines]

But other than that, I mean, it's a straight line, right?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Springfield. Yeah, right by the Basketball hall of Fame. How does that connect?

[Shannon]

That's crazy. I feel bad. It's terrible.

[Eric Gaines]

What was the last big serial killer? The who was killing all the hookers? Was that Staten Island? Shannon? Or was it Long?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Smiley face killer. Wasn't that a big one?

[Zach Amico]

Long Island.

[Eric Gaines]

The long. You know, there was the guy killing the. What was it? The Rose Kill something.

[Zach Amico]

Go Go Beach.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. Okay. Then I feel like there's somebody who was a Craigslist killer. Was the last big one.

[Zach Amico]

I can remember another one. There's one in. Arrested in 2023, Rex Hewerman.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

He's accused of killing at least seven women. Oh, no, I'm an idiot. That is the Go Go Beach Killer.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay, cool.

[Shannon]

Go Go Beach Killer.

[Eric Gaines]

We've discussed this before on spook show, but basically, if you're a serial killer, you want to go after hookers or on the DL, gay men.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Okay.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah, you know, that's right.

[Eric Gaines]

Because the families don't claim them.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right. That's interesting. Or people just assume aids, you know?

[Shannon]

Yeah. Like that's. Yeah. I thought that was a serial killer for the gays.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, anyway.

[Shannon]

No, but that's why. Yeah. They'll pick them too because there was always. I see them documentaries about them guys in the 80s going to times Square.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

I saw Cruising, taking them to Jersey, taking them over to the. Through the Holland Tunnel on one of them hotels. Do they thing go back to New York and just. Yeah, man. Wild.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Wasn't Cruising about a seal. Someone just killing off gay guys.

[Eric Gaines]

So here's the crazy. So Cruising is the Pacino movie where he's. He has to go into the world of underground JSM to try and catch a killer.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Gotta fuck someone in the ass to catch a killer.

[Eric Gaines]

That is directed by the same guy that did the Exorcist, William Freakin. Now here's a crazy thing. The. When they give Reagan the MRI in the Exorcist, the lab tech was the real lab tech that worked at that facility. He got arrested for the crimes they think Cruising might be.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No way. That's crazy.

[Eric Gaines]

He was an active serial killer. They didn't know it. He was just the real lab technician.

[Shannon]

Small world.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's so crazy.

[Eric Gaines]

And then all the year when he got caught, he was one of the guy. He was blacking out and killing dudes.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Was. Did he.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Did he go up to Friedkin was like, I got a good idea for the next story.

[Eric Gaines]

Well, that movie was crazy. Like that movie got like, crazy Protests and supposedly was way more graphic.

[Shannon]

What? Cruising.

[Eric Gaines]

Cruising.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

Supposedly cruising had like, straight up, like, gay sex in it.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Like visibly O style freaking.

[Robbie Goodwin]

What a maniac. He's like, give me more.

[Shannon]

Give me more.

[Eric Gaines]

Because they were shooting at real gay clubs and I guess there was some.

[Shannon]

Real gay shit going on.

[Eric Gaines]

But then people were protesting outside because they thought it was going to portray gay people as killers, which was kind of a. Kind of an issue through time where gay and transgender people are portrayed as serial killers.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Buffalo Bill.

[Eric Gaines]

I mean, yes, but if you're playing a trans woman and you didn't kill somebody in a movie before the 2000s, right? It's like you're Lithgow.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And maybe one other Crying Game.

[Shannon]

Well, shit. Well, Ryan Murphy made it to where I thought everybody gay was who. Or the Menendez brothers was fucking each other and shooting their parents or the fucking the other guy. Right?

[Eric Gaines]

That's what y' all do today. You know, that is. I get it. That is every. And then it's a great James Adomian bit. But every Disney villain is gay.

[Shannon]

There you go.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's fine. James woods is Hades. Is like, ah, get him out of here.

[Eric Gaines]

I don't know. He goes like, even Ursula is just like the dyke bartender.

[Shannon]

That shit. I heard a comic do the poor unfortunate souls thing.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, that's James Adomian.

[Shannon]

Yeah, him. And I was like, that's. Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Hey, dude, Ryan Murphy. Is it okay? I love the cheesiness of Ryan Murphy shit. That OJ show all about it.

[Shannon]

OJ was great. OJ shows great.

[Eric Gaines]

Certain season American Horror Story ate it up.

[Shannon]

Sarah Paulson having a Jheri curl was making me laugh.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Travolta just fucking straight spray tan walking in there, friends being like, juice, please.

[Eric Gaines]

I was, okay, Ryan Murphy has a show. Shannon, you look it up. The show he has now with Rob Lowe.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

Where I think they're paramedics. Has the funny. It is the most overdramatic fucking Ryan Murphy fucking shit. So it's shanking. You look up the. The guy who gets frozen in his like. What do they call the machines he used to recover but you. It's like super cold inside.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Bert Kreischer.

[Shannon]

Cryo. Cryo.

[Eric Gaines]

Cryogenic chamber. Oh, yeah, it's Ryan Murphy. Then there's Rob Lowe saving the guy who's been stuck in a cryogenic chamber.

[Shannon]

Oh, oh, how you frozen in love. Right?

[Eric Gaines]

This is so over the top cheesy. Ryan Murphy, fire me. He's got that video. It is so fun. Is this made me laugh so Fucking hard.

[Zach Amico]

Is this not it?

[Robbie Goodwin]

He looks like. Okay, he looks like Time, rest.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, wait. Is this somebody talking over it, though?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, maybe.

[Robbie Goodwin]

He looks like an executive told he's just about to get meat. Just like Fox News face.

[Eric Gaines]

It's so over the cut. Like, I love pure cheese.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, obviously. Oh, yeah, I've heard that about you.

[Eric Gaines]

Mozzarella brie. Whatever it is we've been saying, you.

[Shannon]

Need to cut down this.

[Eric Gaines]

This is so Housewife lady. Fucking shocking tv.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I love that.

[Eric Gaines]

Shannon, did you find it?

[Zach Amico]

I'm sorry, I'm trying to find one where they're not talking.

[Robbie Goodwin]

What are the Good Horror Story seasons?

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, the good one for me. Freak Show.

[Shannon]

Mm.

[Eric Gaines]

Coven. And then there's Coven two, which is Apocalypse. Really? I think those are the ones. Yeah. Hotels pretty good. But Freak show is fucking perfect.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Cool.

[Eric Gaines]

And Coven rules if you want to watch older actresses cunt it up.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, that's.

[Eric Gaines]

That sounds like a Kathy Bates plays in Coven. The famous New Orleans lady who had, like, all the torture shit in her attic for slaves.

[Shannon]

Oh, wow.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

And it's the best in one of them.

[Eric Gaines]

Yes, Yes.

[Shannon]

I thought, because I've seen it on tv, I never really watched, but I go, okay, it's a different thing.

[Eric Gaines]

Here, here's. Here's a clip. Let's do this. Just made me so happy. So he's been stuck in the chamber. His wife's been trying to melt the lock.

[Shannon]

Dude, Fred.

[Eric Gaines]

No pulse.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, my God. He's starting compressions.

[Shannon]

Cap, medical's here.

[Robbie Goodwin]

He's having chest pains.

[Shannon]

Chronic chest pains. He just broke his chest. He just caved his chest in.

[Eric Gaines]

I love how the lady still had to put on the stethoscope and be like, yeah, I think that did. If it wasn't the freezing him, it was the sub Zero style chest compression.

[Shannon]

That's crazy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That'd be funny. At the end, they were just like, he's gone.

[Eric Gaines]

What? The first time I saw that, I just didn't see it coming. And I. Obviously, it's kind of like other thing.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Reference. But do what it went through. And then in the context of the show, that's the husband of the chick Rob Lowe is fucking.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh.

[Eric Gaines]

So now people are like, did he.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Kill it on purpose to fuck?

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, dude, I fucking love it. That is fucking.

[Shannon]

That's tv writing this.

[Robbie Goodwin]

TV shout out Ryan Murphy. Just no shame. And his shows are all the better for it. You know what I mean? That Menendez show.

[Eric Gaines]

Yep. I just like that banana show. They just look like they were gonna the Whole time it was like.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It was basically just about like two brothers with sexual tension. And, like, weirdly, he seemed to like the dad. Like, the way he's portrayed by Javier Bardem's like, you must have excellence. You know what I mean? Like, he was like, kind of. I was like, why is this guy the coolest character in the show? Isn't he, like, a pedophile?

[Eric Gaines]

So I liked Nathan lane on the OJ1.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yes. And he was also in the. The other one that he did. Nathan Lane was in.

[Eric Gaines]

Was he in the Bill Clinton one?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yes. Yes, he was in the Clinton one. So I was like, is this the Nathan Lane Extended Unit? I was like, is he the same guy? Like, what's going on here?

[Eric Gaines]

That Bill Clinton one was banging.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, it was good.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, everybody was good at that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, it was pretty fun.

[Shannon]

Who played Bill?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Monica?

[Eric Gaines]

I can't remember. Shannon, can you look that up? He was really good.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

And then Mrs. Soprano was Hillary, which is maybe the best.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, shit.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that might be. Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Wait, Lane was in the Menendez one, actually, I think.

[Shannon]

Okay, right.

[Robbie Goodwin]

He was like the journalist who's like. And this is what happened next. And then he came into the room and shot them both in the chest. He was like a recorder for Vanity Fair or some shit. Shout out to Nathan Lane.

[Eric Gaines]

And then what about Monica Lewinsky in that one? Is Jonah Hill, sister.

[Shannon]

Okay. Oh, shorty. Yeah, yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

And boy, does she pull that off.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, that's a great casting.

[Eric Gaines]

And, dude, you don't realize that Sarah Paulson is Linda Tripp, like, until three episodes in.

[Shannon]

How about that?

[Eric Gaines]

She's so fucking good.

[Zach Amico]

Clive Owen played a Bill.

[Eric Gaines]

Excuse me, Clive Owen.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I forgot that was Clive Owen.

[Shannon]

I can see him. Okay. All right. Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

And when you watch it, you're really just like, oh, yeah, live the trip's a cunt. You just. They. They. They show her smoking in the house, like, eating, watching John Goodman play her.

[Shannon]

Oh, wow.

[Robbie Goodwin]

So funny.

[Eric Gaines]

It's just.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She's. She's fuming.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, boy. What was the fucking nickname she had? It was so fucking Gus.

[Shannon]

Gus.

[Eric Gaines]

That's what everyone called her, Gus growing up because she looked like this one NFL player named Gus. And she said her whole high school called her Gus. The funniest fucking man.

[Shannon]

You go from Linda Tripp to Gus.

[Eric Gaines]

That is really what a.

[Shannon]

To call a girl Gus.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Hey, Gus, I love Ryan Murphy. He made a woman the villain of that situation.

[Eric Gaines]

Good for him. There was a girl in high school we grew up with that we called Buffalo.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, nice.

[Shannon]

Why does she earn that name?

[Eric Gaines]

She was chubby, but she had strong features and curly hair that looked like.

[Shannon]

Like buffalo.

[Eric Gaines]

Like a buffalo. But I just remember people would drive by and shout out the window, buffalo.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She asked people, that's a problem. Like, would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.

[Eric Gaines]

And then I'm pretty sure Buff. I'm pretty sure somebody so mean.

[Shannon]

Big old.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, she was a big early bitch. Some of the hood kids went through her, of course, but that was around the same time I knew a kid that got a girl pregnant in what sounds like the most urban legendy way, tried to use Saran Wrap as a condom.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, my God. That's so funny. That's something you think would work too, as a high schooler.

[Eric Gaines]

Yep. Saran wrapped his dick, knocked her up and she had it.

[Shannon]

Yeah, he. Okay, so I guess he Saran Wrap everything but the hole.

[Eric Gaines]

No, I think he. I don't think it works.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I think it doesn't work. How? Like that leaves so much.

[Eric Gaines]

Shannon, look that up. Can you Saran Wrap your dick?

[Shannon]

You can do, but you got it covered. Holes.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, of course.

[Robbie Goodwin]

But it's like when jizz comes into a Saran Wrap, it's going to leak out of there.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Saran Wrap isn't airtight or anything. Like, there's a reason the girl was.

[Shannon]

You got to hold it. You got to hold it.

[Eric Gaines]

Saran Wrap cannot be used a condom. While some suggest using plaster as a barrier for oral sex, it's not a safer, effective substitute for condoms or dental dams. Saran Wrap is not designed for sexual activity and may not offer protection against sexually transmitted infections. I'm pretty sure in Studio 54 they just had rolls of Saran Wrap.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Wow.

[Eric Gaines]

In the rooms.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. No one ever got AIDS there. So that's, you know, it worked.

[Eric Gaines]

Hey, friends, when the downstairs just isn't cooperating, it's time for hims. HIMS provides men with access to affordable sexual health treatments so you can take charge of your sex life. The good people at HIMSS know that dealing with ED can be uncomfortable. That's why everything can be taken care of online from the comfort of your own home. They've got chewable tablets, Viagra, Cialis and their generics for up to 95% less. However you want to treat this thing, HIMSS can help. Start your free online visit today at HIMSS.comZoo that's HIM S.comZoo for your personalized ED treatment options. HIMS.comZoo the featured products include compounded products which are not approved nor verified for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. What? I'm trying to think how many. There's a few, like, urban people using, like, stuff, like rubber bands with a bag for condoms.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, my God.

[Eric Gaines]

I mean, obviously none of it.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Have you ever used a dental dam?

[Shannon]

No.

[Eric Gaines]

No. Those aren't real, right? Who are those for?

[Shannon]

I took a chance. I thank God all the girls I was fucking with was pretty, pretty clean.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Wait, so dental dams for, like, eating pussy, Eating puss? Yeah, you put.

[Shannon]

You drape it up, like what?

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's very silly.

[Shannon]

I think Patrice had a joke about. You flip. It's like a little napkin. You flip it out and you.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's like a.

[Shannon]

Put over a vagina in case she's poisoned.

[Eric Gaines]

So it's an. Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

What's that form?

[Eric Gaines]

It's an inedible Fruit Roll up.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Well, now Zach wants to use it.

[Shannon]

Yeah. You gotta lay it flat. Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

I've never even. I don't think I've ever even seen one.

[Shannon]

I would never consider it. I mean, you know, that's just wild. Let me go grab the Saran Wrap. So I get you pussy.

[Eric Gaines]

I think anyone safely.

[Robbie Goodwin]

What is the point of that?

[Eric Gaines]

I mean, I think if a girl makes you wear a condom for a blowjob, she's a jerk.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

That's insane. And then I've had girls.

[Shannon]

That's completely transactional then.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, yeah, it's. There's no. That's a hooker.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that's. That's. That's some. That's some on the point. That's on the point.

[Eric Gaines]

Shit.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Just spit it out.

[Eric Gaines]

There's absolutely no reason for that. All right, moving on. Man 52 dies with multiple blunt force injuries after suspected animal attack in enclosure at South Carolina Zoo. Tell us about it, Shannon.

[Shannon]

Was he fucking with the gorillas?

[Robbie Goodwin]

He was like, I'll be the first of the hundred.

[Zach Amico]

So he was found in an enclosure where wallabies and kangaroos were.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay.

[Shannon]

Got kangaroo. Caught it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And so it says that the wallaby.

[Shannon]

Wallaby. Wallaby up.

[Robbie Goodwin]

He got kangaroo jacked.

[Eric Gaines]

That was. You know what? I feel like you weren't gonna stick the landing on it. And it was good.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I didn't think I would either, but it came out. Came out.

[Zach Amico]

So authorities said that there are a number of animals at the incident location and all the animals were accounted for and contained. So there's no risk. To the community. But it also said that on the police statement that it was involving a non domesticated animal and an adult relative. So what they think happened is that the kangaroo beat him up.

[Shannon]

Yeah. And then nobody snitched because, you know. Yeah, it's the enclosure.

[Zach Amico]

But zeros, wouldn't that also be like the perfect cover? Like if you beat somebody to death and you just put them in a kangaroo enclosure and just be like, he.

[Eric Gaines]

Just wore giant shoes. Yes, it would be. I would think you would pick an animal that would eat them, though. So to make him less autopsy able.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right.

[Eric Gaines]

I don't. That's not a word. I'm very.

[Shannon]

Talk about animal attacks. I saw this shark attack, man. Some little white boy, 20 years old, Mexico. They pulled him out of the water. It was just his head.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No way.

[Shannon]

And his skeleton.

[Eric Gaines]

Shannon, if you could find this, it was the wildest.

[Shannon]

They pulled him out. When you saw him pull him out, you saw his head. But then everything else was just bones. I was like, oh, my God.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's like how we eat fish.

[Shannon]

That ironically. Yeah, that's how they fish scaled his ass. It was bad. It was very bad.

[Eric Gaines]

I would like to see that.

[Shannon]

Yeah, bruh. This up. This up to Zakamiko Alley, man. This shit looked gruesome.

[Eric Gaines]

I remember piranha attacks on rotten.com.

[Robbie Goodwin]

All right.

[Eric Gaines]

And those would be. Those would be like almost cartoonish.

[Shannon]

You'd be like, what the fuck? Yeah, some shark attack out in Mexico. He was trying to save somebody and shark got him and they had at him for a little while. And then when they pulled him out, he was head and bones. It was wild. I said, that is.

[Eric Gaines]

Whoa.

[Shannon]

It was chilling. But I was like, yeah, you get a kick out of that because.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, please. And if you find him in the meantime, let's do. Let's. Did you find that? Sorry, I have distracted for a second.

[Zach Amico]

No, not yet.

[Shannon]

I think I saw it on X. It was on. It was on Twitter. X.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Thank you, Elon algorithm.

[Eric Gaines]

But yeah, I would say you would want to pick like a lion or. Well, bear, maybe. Yeah, bear. Something's gonna rip it up him up.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Sharks don't actually attack that much though, right? Aren't there like, not that many shark attacks?

[Shannon]

These must have been on cocaine or something.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. I think the only thing that looks at us and sees food is polar bears. Really?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, but polar bears, so cute, though.

[Eric Gaines]

They ain't fucking popping open a bottle of coke, buddy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I could win them over because it's.

[Shannon]

Not enough of them. They're going Extinct. So these motherfuckers just hungry so they'll eat. But when they see a human, they actually. They go, I want whatever's in that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's so sad. They're so cute.

[Shannon]

Yeah, man. It ain't no Coca Cola commercial.

[Robbie Goodwin]

God fucked up by making bears so dangerous.

[Eric Gaines]

You know what? Maybe I would go hippopotamus.

[Shannon]

I heard hippos dangerous too.

[Eric Gaines]

I bet that would fuck you up.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, well, that was my ex wife for sure.

[Shannon]

And I heard hippos. They. They brutal, bro.

[Eric Gaines]

But those. But even when people used to fight kangaroos at like carnivals.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Boxing. Yeah, well. Yeah, well, is that where that trope comes from? They used to fight kangaroos?

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, well, the thing is, you can't. You can't put them down because they got the tail.

[Shannon]

That tail to keep pushing them up. Right?

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, wow. So they would be. And they got little heads. So just giant frolic, old timey men were knocking them the fuck out.

[Robbie Goodwin]

So funny.

[Eric Gaines]

But you.

[Shannon]

They.

[Eric Gaines]

They. When they're knocked out, they stay standing.

[Shannon]

I didn't hear.

[Eric Gaines]

No, the tail is huge.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I didn't hear no bell.

[Eric Gaines]

And they said they would just be out on their feet and then wake up and then remember they have feet. And they would just go back on the tail and they had. Because I think they had a declaw for the boxing. Oh, yeah, because they would gut you, right?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Damn, dude. Why do we box kangaroos?

[Eric Gaines]

Because it's hilarious.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It is very funny.

[Eric Gaines]

And they're funny. I don't know.

[Robbie Goodwin]

They are a Looney Tunes.

[Eric Gaines]

They're a funny animal to see. In short.

[Robbie Goodwin]

They kind of are.

[Eric Gaines]

And they have little arms. And when you put boxing gloves on that. That's funny.

[Shannon]

Never mind entertaining.

[Eric Gaines]

It would be like watching a Tyrannosaurus rex in gloves and shorts.

[Shannon]

That is.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's all.

[Eric Gaines]

They're a funny animal.

[Shannon]

To see it close and then fall back on a tail and they come back.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, they're bouncy.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

You know what? That is a looney.

[Eric Gaines]

They kind of have a natural rhythm.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, man. The way black guys box. Like they. They like. Yeah, they keep. They're on there.

[Shannon]

They do.

[Eric Gaines]

They're on the. They're always on the front of their feet.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right.

[Shannon]

Damn, dude.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Actually, you know what? The cruelty to funniness ratio. Yeah, I'm gone.

[Eric Gaines]

That's fine. This shark attack.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't. I mean, what I found. Oh, no.

[Shannon]

Maybe they took it off.

[Zach Amico]

So I can tell you what I did find. I found a video of a shark attacking someone. I also have a Video of in Mexico, a dog carrying around a decapitated head.

[Eric Gaines]

I want both those.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

So here's the shark attack.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I think I saw this one. He didn't make it. I don't think money made it. Oof.

[Eric Gaines]

I don't think he did either, buddy.

[Shannon]

That's Jaws. That's all. That's the blood coming out the way. That's whole Jaws, bro. Oh, no, no. Yeah, he done.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, when your feet come out.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Or maybe he made it swim. Swim. God, I hate when they. And. And nobody gonna come and get.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Whoa.

[Shannon]

Shit. No.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

Throw the life ramp. Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Eric Gaines]

What is this?

[Shannon]

You know what it is?

[Eric Gaines]

If you. The life. If you throw that. A life raft. That's a. Yeah, it's a dinner mint.

[Shannon]

You put them under a heat lamp. Yeah, I get it.

[Eric Gaines]

That's. Yeah, that.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yeah. You just kind of.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, you might as well just throw the shark out a mint and a napkin and a toothpick.

[Shannon]

No life racket at a bill. I'll never wear a life jacket again. That's what Quinn said. Remember that on Jaws?

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

I was like, God damn. Yeah. He was like. When he was about to get rescued from the USS Indianapolis, he said everybody got eaten around him. And he was like. That's when I was the most afraid, when the plane came down because he was like, I thought it was my turn. I'll never wear a life raft again. That story he told on the boat was. That monologue was great. But anyway, I'm sorry.

[Eric Gaines]

No, no, I. If anyone likes movie references, you got the guy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Especially Jaws.

[Shannon]

Yeah, man. That. That monologue was chilling. When I was a kid, I was like, I wouldn't want to experience that.

[Zach Amico]

And do you want to see the dog with his.

[Shannon]

Let me see this dog.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Sharks is scary.

[Shannon]

Scary neighborhood, too.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. This is Mexico, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. The other one was Egypt.

[Shannon]

Look at that car. Yeah. They in Mexico.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, no. Oh, by the way, this is the best day ever for this dog.

[Shannon]

Oh, he gonna shut down.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, yeah, he got.

[Shannon]

Oh, that's. Look. Yeah, somebody's head.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

The head down. No, that's nuts.

[Eric Gaines]

That's so. That's scary. That's like Tortuga Breaking Bad.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yeah. That's somebody here. Dog.

[Eric Gaines]

That is one of my favorite Breaking Bad things that they brought in. Danny Trejo.

[Shannon]

They put his head on a turtle, right?

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

But to be. These Mexicans are so scary, right? They killed Danny Trejo immediately.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I never thought.

[Eric Gaines]

He didn't make it an episode.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's very funny.

[Shannon]

The goofy Santa Maria brothers, right? The ones that would pray to the devil and then go kill you. The Two Ball headed out.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right.

[Eric Gaines]

Or Hector the Salamancos. I actually just found out the cousins. Only one was an actor. The other was a tattoo artist, and he came in to audition. They were gonna cast two different actors and make them shave their heads. And they're like, oh, I like that. My brother. My twin brother did it yesterday. They went, you have a twin brother? And they're like, yeah. He goes, he's an actor. And they went.

[Shannon]

He just need to kill.

[Eric Gaines]

They're like, 3pm tomorrow. And they said they came in together and they just literally looked at, like, the rest of the stack and were like, nope.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's amazing, because they were scared.

[Shannon]

They were. They were terrifying. They were terrified.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, dragging the pickaxes. Yeah.

[Shannon]

Yeah. It was nuts. I was like, yeah, that was. That was great. I was like, yeah, this is a great show.

[Eric Gaines]

Did you like Breaking Bad better or Better Call Saul?

[Shannon]

I didn't finish Saw, but Breaking Bad was just so great. I was glued to that tv.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I'm a Saul.

[Shannon]

I think Better Call Saul is just as great.

[Eric Gaines]

It's excellent.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It gets better as it goes. Like, the last season was the best season, I think.

[Eric Gaines]

I like the end of Saul better than the end of Breaking Bad. It's more satisfying, but not in a, like, give the audience what they want way.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

This is a logical conclusion to this in a satisfying way.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's like where the character was supposed to go. And it. Like, it's. Yeah.

[Shannon]

That's all I got to was he was working at Cinnabon and his brother was allergic to electric or some shit like that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That.

[Eric Gaines]

Which is a real thing people claim to have.

[Shannon]

Yeah, That's. That's as far as my.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Kind of got on in. Yeah.

[Shannon]

That was like the first season, right?

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, yeah. It gets. It's. It's pretty sick.

[Robbie Goodwin]

A little slow, but it gets. It gets better and better.

[Shannon]

I'll go back.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I think, with Breaking Bad is. I think that it, like. It peaks with the Gus verse. Walt thing.

[Eric Gaines]

Yes.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And then after that, it's like, it's still good, but.

[Eric Gaines]

But then they're always trying to find a new Big Bad.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

And I'm. That lady never really does it for me.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

The same way Gusted Gus was like.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It should have ended with Walt versus Gus. And then the. If they had cut it right there with, like, his face half off, it would have been like one of the greatest shows ever. But then the last season's still good. I just think better.

[Shannon]

I love Ozzy Mandias, that episode.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's a good. See then that was good too. But then like the actual finale was like. I don't know. I think the Saw finale is just. Is. Is just more.

[Eric Gaines]

But yeah, the movie sucked though.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I didn't even watch it. Everyone's like, you have to.

[Eric Gaines]

I had no need for it because.

[Shannon]

First of all, Cranston wasn't in it. And then.

[Eric Gaines]

Well, he was in flashbacks, I think.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Him driving away. And I was like, well, we gotta conclude the Jesse story. But yeah, man, I'd like the whole Breaking Bad was just great for me. Cause like, when he had to save Jesse, I thought that was the craziest shit I ever saw in my fucking life.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I need to rewatch it.

[Shannon]

This dude is really a genius. I was like, he went to that diner, got that weird ass patent for that gun in the trunk. And then he went and got him and he get down and shot a. I was like, lost all the money.

[Eric Gaines]

I just feel like they were in a rush because of how quickly Aaron Paul was aging.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Okay.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

Like it's the same as like the guy that's from Tokyo Drift in Fast and the Furious. Yeah, him, he got way too old, way too quick. Because there's also the break in the timeline.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right.

[Eric Gaines]

Where Tokyo Drift is supposed to be further in the timeline.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's right.

[Eric Gaines]

And he's in high school in that.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

So now they're like, hey, the whiz kid over here. And he's like a 45 year old balding man.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, that's so.

[Eric Gaines]

Hey, the whiz kid on tech.

[Robbie Goodwin]

My favorite is Walt in Lost. Like they had to like just manufacture like, oh, he has to get off the island because he's special. But in reality it was just. Because it was like one month, had one month of time in the show, but it was two years. He was like, he's like, dad, dad, I'm nine.

[Shannon]

It.

[Eric Gaines]

If you love your phone but not your carrier, just switch to T Mobile.

[Shannon]

You can keep your phone, keep your number and we'll help pay it off. Up to 800 per line.

[Eric Gaines]

You can also use our savings calculator to compare our plans and streaming benefits against Verizon and AT&T.

[Shannon]

So switch and keep your phone, keep.

[Eric Gaines]

Your number and keep more of your moolah. @t mobile.com up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device credit service port in 90 plus days with.

[Shannon]

Device and eligible care and timely redemption required.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Eric Gaines]

Dude, fuck it. Somebody brought something. Made me really laugh about fucking. I love Fast and Furious. When somebody's, like talking about them go to space, they're like, didn't these guys. Weren't they DVD player thieves?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Wasn't that like the height of their crime?

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's so. Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

They go to jail and now they can hack NASA.

[Shannon]

Yeah, Rome was. Yeah, that whole thing. And then Ludacris was just a mechanic, wasn't he?

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

And I was like, with an Asian girlfriend. That's what I remember. And they. And they was in space. They was in whole space and they got took from. Like, they caught them and got them back. I said, this shit is not. This movie is great.

[Eric Gaines]

I do love the retcon. Like, I love when they show a scene from one of the old ones and then just pan and show that there's been another character the whole time. Like they did with Jason Momoa.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Made me. Dude. It's so fucking cool.

[Robbie Goodwin]

There's just been a guy there the whole time.

[Eric Gaines]

There's been a guy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

He's been there the whole time.

[Eric Gaines]

He's been just out of the shot.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right.

[Eric Gaines]

Is a hilarious way to it.

[Robbie Goodwin]

The guy who's been there the whole time. What, you didn't notice me in five movies, man?

[Shannon]

That's crazy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

My favorite was I saw Fast and Fury. I think it was Fast five or Fast six in. No, I think it's Furious, the one with Charlize Theron. I saw it in the.

[Shannon]

She caught John Cena out the sky in the car. I said, what the fuck is going on?

[Robbie Goodwin]

I saw it in those rumble seats. You know those ones that move.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah, the 4 dx.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It was really fun with, like, the driving and stuff. But there was one scene where Charlize Theron's, like, hacking in and she's like, I'm inch. And the seat moved like it hacked into the mainframe.

[Shannon]

I love the Fast and Furious because they're ridiculous.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I know I'm gonna watch every single.

[Shannon]

I mean, I wanted to submarine in where it was under the snow. That was crazy. Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's a bummer that Vin Diesel and the Rock, I guess, hate each other because the ones with the Rock are the best ones. I think they're feisty one Nuts.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, I'm a. I'm a big John Cena guy.

[Shannon]

He's John Cena.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Really?

[Eric Gaines]

Well, Johnson is kind of great. Like so Fast Furious. Great. Peacemaker. Great.

[Shannon]

Great.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

When he's the drug dealer in that Amy Poehler, Tina Fey movie. Great. And then I'm going to go as far as to say, what was the other thing? Oh, Ricky Stanicki.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, yeah, he was great.

[Eric Gaines]

Fucking funny as shit.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, no, he's really, he's like versatile. He can like do a lot of things, which is really impressive. Yeah, I like them inside the NBA. That was fun.

[Eric Gaines]

All right, so let's. We got a little game we're going to play. We're going to look at some mug shots of ladies and it's going to be a double game. A, we're going to guess what their crime was. B, we're going to rank them.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Okay. All right, I like it. I like this game.

[Eric Gaines]

So let's, let's. Let's look at some evil bitches and see what they did.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I'm already attracted.

[Shannon]

Jesus.

[Eric Gaines]

Are these mug shouties aoc.

[Zach Amico]

Why not all of them.

[Eric Gaines]

Not all of them are. Okay, this.

[Shannon]

All right, I'll give her. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Eric Gaines]

Well, we'll pick which one is the prettiest. Yeah, let's do crime first. I'm gonna go. This is high end shoplifting.

[Shannon]

I was gonna say petty theft. Petty theft or maybe some scammer.

[Eric Gaines]

Robbie.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Scammer sounds right to me.

[Eric Gaines]

I think maybe drugging dudes and taking their shit. She doesn't look. She doesn't look worn out though.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She seems like a klepto kind of something.

[Shannon]

Stealing. I think non violent crime.

[Eric Gaines]

The eyes, like a nonviolent.

[Robbie Goodwin]

The eyes don't seem sociopath to me, so I don't think it's that crazy.

[Eric Gaines]

Shannon, hold on.

[Zach Amico]

Can you just click away for one second? I just want to make sure I don't reveal any of the other ones. Okay. Here, this is her. This is mug shorty's. This is what she did. Possession of a machine gun.

[Eric Gaines]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Possession of a firearm.

[Eric Gaines]

Silencer.

[Zach Amico]

Possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay, so she got arrested for having a drug dealer boyfriend.

[Shannon]

Cartel.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, yeah, she was the JLo. Just some ditty cartel queen.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay, okay.

[Shannon]

Automatic weapons in her Brazil. Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

All right, well, there's another that comes up on my feed sometimes. It's. It's girls doing like dating videos from jail and they can only give their number. And like, they can't say why they're in jail, but they, they'll. It'll be pictures and then like one video of them on like the prison computer being like I'm out in 26 months, so I'm looking to start a relationship. It's pretty bad. And then since then, trying to take ass shots on the prison computer. So they're like kneeling on the desk chair.

[Shannon]

So they tuning it up on the desk chair. That's so great. Go prison. Go girl. Go girl jail.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, that's more so girl jail. I don't think girl jail. Guys can't do that.

[Shannon]

Remember Orange, the new black? That used to be a fun show when they was just fucking and being goofy and fighting each other a little bit. Yeah, it was great. Girl jail was great.

[Eric Gaines]

Do you know any girls that have done time?

[Shannon]

I wish. I don't know any chicks that did time.

[Eric Gaines]

I know a chick. She got arrested for dv, which is impressive.

[Shannon]

Dv?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Domestic violence.

[Eric Gaines]

Domestic violence.

[Shannon]

She was beating somebody up.

[Eric Gaines]

She got arrested for hitting her dude.

[Shannon]

Okay. Shit.

[Eric Gaines]

Now what had happened was. And by the way, this. Unfortunately, this story reeks of a Zak Amico story.

[Shannon]

Okay?

[Eric Gaines]

She got in a fight with her dude in their trailer, okay. And he had lobster hands. He was born deformed, so he had flippers. So when the cops came and he was beating her up and she fought back. When the cops came, they said, he's disabled, obviously, she's hitting him. So she went to jail for dv.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, that's.

[Eric Gaines]

She told me that when they were late at night, a bunch of the girls would meet up and they would all lay in a circle and masturbate and count how many times they had orgasms. And it was a game they would play to go to sleep at night where they would all like, try and break the record.

[Shannon]

Oh, wow.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Wow. A circle jerk.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, circle flicker flick. Yeah, but all just each on themselves.

[Shannon]

Wow.

[Eric Gaines]

And they would like, almost like the way people lay in a field in a movie, like all head to head. The way no one's ever hung out ever. You know when you and all your friends just touch the top of your heads in a circle and then flick.

[Shannon]

The bean in a circle?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Wow.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Looking at.

[Eric Gaines]

She said that was like. She said that was like a big swat. Well, you had to get invited, I think.

[Shannon]

Wow.

[Eric Gaines]

I think it was invitation only.

[Robbie Goodwin]

How do I get. Can I get.

[Eric Gaines]

You gotta be a bitching and up real bad.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, I guess so. That's crazy though. Girls love just getting together.

[Shannon]

I guess girls love getting together.

[Eric Gaines]

I'd assume that's what most of girl jail is. I mean, that Ladybird show, it was so funny. And then. Yeah. It seemed like they were all Just diking up. Oh yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Sign me up.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah. When they was what, they would take the handle of a screwdriver and tape it?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, I guess.

[Shannon]

Shit is crazy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's easier for women to go gay than guys. I think so Jail's probably a nice little treat.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. Because it doesn't hurt for them to go gay.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's a good point.

[Eric Gaines]

It's not. It's not the worst thing ever if it happens.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right.

[Eric Gaines]

It's at best an inconvenience to your daddy. I ate pussy against my will. I could get over that in 10 minutes.

[Shannon]

Seven minutes.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh no. That was so traumatizing. I hope, I hope she doesn't do it again.

[Shannon]

No crumbs in it.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

I had best need a beer and an Altoid.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, right.

[Eric Gaines]

And I'm over it. I'm over it.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's probably the most flavorful.

[Shannon]

Give me a wash rack.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's the most flavorful thing you'll taste in prison.

[Shannon]

Probably. They don't season of food, but good for her.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's like good for her.

[Shannon]

I had to eat a. I haven't.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Had seafood in a while.

[Shannon]

I'm a little nauseated.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh my God.

[Eric Gaines]

All right, let's see. Let's see our next lady.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

Very pretty.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, okay. That.

[Eric Gaines]

She's got crazy eyes.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that's a thousand yard stare.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She actually has AOC eyes. Kind of. I said the last girl was aoc.

[Eric Gaines]

But I'd say that one is assault with a deadly weapon.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I'm gonna say that's a dv. Yeah.

[Shannon]

Honestly, it looked like she did some kind of assault. Yeah, she got that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She might have run someone over with her car.

[Shannon]

The lip nose, eyebrow ratio lets me know she's not to be with it. Just look like she ain't around.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, she looks like she's staring down the cop taking the picture.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

Or like I'm a little mesmerized.

[Eric Gaines]

What did she do?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, she kind of was like, you want to do this?

[Zach Amico]

Home invasion, burglary, two counts of assault, two counts of criminal mischief, terroristic threats and resisting arrest. So she.

[Shannon]

Terroristic threats.

[Zach Amico]

She was an off duty cop. She broke into her ex boyfriend's house, went on a violent rampage before threatening to burn the house down with the ex and the ex's new girlfriend in the house.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Wow.

[Eric Gaines]

So she was a cop. That's even scarier.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Wow. Yeah.

[Shannon]

Thousand yards there. Yeah, she's.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, she had a gun.

[Shannon]

Oh yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Think about that. That. Did she. People she arrested must know like, man, I'M glad I didn't around on that one.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Good God.

[Eric Gaines]

All right, so I would still say first girls number one.

[Shannon]

First girl's still bad, but.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, let's see.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Let's show he's still bad, right?

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I know this one. I know her. She gave. She let her kid Fucking.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, she gave her kid a gun, right?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Or she gave him ammo because she's like, if you babysit, I'll give you ammo for your gun. And his kid had already given violent threats to some school shooting or something like that.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

So she accomplished something terrible going on.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I think whatever. Abating a minor or something.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She, like, knew the kid was gonna shoot up a school and, like, gave him ammo.

[Eric Gaines]

He specifically said, I want to shoot up the school. And she gave him.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, because she ended up babysitting.

[Eric Gaines]

Did we get that right, Shannon?

[Shannon]

Money laundering too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So it was. He actually. They found it. So he ended up telling his grandmother that he had all this stuff she saw. Okay, here's what happened.

[Shannon]

She.

[Zach Amico]

He was playing with a bullet, like a live bullet, and he was trying to, like, hit it with a hammer. So the grandmother's like, what the hell are you doing? And where'd you get the bullet from? He's like, oh, Mommy, like, gives me this stuff whenever I babysit. And so he. He actually had. They found an IED in his room. Like a makeshift ied, A mortar style firework wrapped in duct tape, along with a rifle. Magazines loaded with a live rifle, pistol, and ammo. And all of that came from the mother.

[Eric Gaines]

Can we bring her up again, though? Because now, let's be honest, now we.

[Shannon]

Gotta look at it. Yeah. Wow.

[Eric Gaines]

I. I mean, how'd she come up on all that? I mean, this is a chick that you. For Wendy's.

[Shannon]

Yeah, just the nuggets.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. This is. This is a fun girl.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah. Look at the teardrops in the fucking 1992 thing. And the hair.

[Eric Gaines]

This is a girl that goes live on Instagram At 7:30 in the morning, dancing still from the night before.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She hasn't got.

[Eric Gaines]

With like three of her friends.

[Shannon]

Oh, wow. Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

And they. And they're each taking bathroom breaks pretty frequently.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yeah, she's. She's pretty raw.

[Eric Gaines]

This is. Okay, I'm putting it personal number two, but I understand that the other lady is probably more accessible to regular humans.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I'm voting her third.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, I just. I completely get why. I like that look.

[Shannon]

No, she's. She's number two to Me?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

Before the cop.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, yeah. I, I, I, well, you know what? I respect that.

[Shannon]

Before the cop.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. So that's where we're going on that.

[Shannon]

Mexican shorty could probably have it because.

[Eric Gaines]

I, Dude, I watch. I've been.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Are they all Latino?

[Eric Gaines]

I don't think maybe this first girl.

[Zach Amico]

Looks like Israeli or something.

[Shannon]

Something.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She was accused of selling things.

[Shannon]

Second year.

[Eric Gaines]

Have you ever watched on YouTube like Mexican moms? Try. No, it'll be like they bring in a bunch of like. Sometimes it'll be like cholas. Try.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

But it'll be like Mexican moms and they're all like, you know, like 23. So they have like 11 year olds.

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Eric Gaines]

And there's a lady on that that's like super trolling out with the tattooed on makeup and shit. And she looks, she's got years on her. And I just think like, that lady's a party.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, sure.

[Shannon]

Bop.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

I like watching people try things. I like watching different races try things. And then having confidence. Like, it'll be like black dads try each other's barbecue. And then I only recently. And Derek, maybe you can fill me in. Found out that black spaghetti.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Is that a thing?

[Shannon]

Well, for some. My grandma used to put whole burgers in the fucking. As the meatball. Be a patty. It was like, what the fuck? Yeah, black spaghetti might be. Cause black people do spaghetti different. We put all kinds of meats. That's Indian spaghetti and spaghetti.

[Eric Gaines]

It was black spaghetti versus Italian spaghetti. So it was white people being confused and then black people looking at like fresh herbs and greens and being like, where the onion powder?

[Shannon]

Where the onion powder.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh my God. God, so funny.

[Shannon]

Put some Lowry's on this. Goddamn.

[Eric Gaines]

Dude. I swear to God. One girl goes, this needs. It's got fresh green. It's so nice. And she goes, this needs some Lowry's or something.

[Shannon]

Lowry's is great. Nigga, you need some.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm not saying it's not.

[Shannon]

I should have put some Lowry's on the chicken I just made for Mother's Day. It was a good chicken. But if I put some Larry's on.

[Eric Gaines]

It, you know, I've been fucking with Slap Ya Mama. The Cajun seasoning. Yeah, that's good.

[Shannon]

Seasonings is good, man.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I love what seasoning.

[Eric Gaines]

What got me into it. I had a fucking Bloody Mary in Louisiana and they built a slap Uama on a rim and it had fried okra on top. How about that?

[Shannon]

Fucking good.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That sounds amazing.

[Shannon]

Church's chicken cocktail. Fried okra?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Only churches sold Okra. I never. There was no other okra option. You had to go to Church's Chicken to get the fried okra on the side. That's pretty wild.

[Eric Gaines]

I don't.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Okra should be more available.

[Shannon]

Okra's gross if it ain't fried. Okra's gross.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Pretty good in, like, a tomato sauce. Yeah, it's like an Afghan thing.

[Shannon]

Okra. But now if it's fried, I fuck with it.

[Eric Gaines]

All right, I think we have three more girls to judge.

[Shannon]

I'm hype.

[Zach Amico]

We do. Here's the first one.

[Eric Gaines]

Excellent.

[Shannon]

Oh, shit.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, shit. She's.

[Shannon]

Oh, God. Mental health. Mental something.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She cut somebody guilty of stealing my heart.

[Shannon]

Yeah, she could. Yeah, she's a. Look at them lips and that eyebrows.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She's trying to seduce her way out of this.

[Shannon]

I'm kind of like she's hypnotizing a little bit. What's her thing?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Look at her.

[Shannon]

Why she be trans?

[Eric Gaines]

Dude, this is a girl. This is a girl in a green room that just told you she's moving to Austin.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh.

[Eric Gaines]

This is.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I love Kill Tony.

[Eric Gaines]

There's a girl who's been doing comedy for eight months and it's moving to Austin and is telling you against your will.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right.

[Shannon]

She do comedy in a midriff. She do comedy with her belly because.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That'S just where the great green room hangs. Happen.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, she's. Yeah.

[Shannon]

What is that?

[Eric Gaines]

That's a crazy lady.

[Shannon]

She's crazy, but my word.

[Eric Gaines]

But yes, beautiful.

[Shannon]

My word.

[Eric Gaines]

And then what do we think the crime wants?

[Shannon]

Oh, shit.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Slashing some tires.

[Shannon]

She looked like she did something.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Some sort of BPDS thing.

[Eric Gaines]

I want to say aggravated stalking.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Ooh, I like that. That's pretty good.

[Shannon]

Stalking and possession of a weapon.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay, perfect.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody put their guesses in.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, so battery. She found her boyfriend in bed.

[Robbie Goodwin]

There we go.

[Zach Amico]

It's not her fault. I feel like she's. That's not a terrible thing.

[Eric Gaines]

Ah, it happens.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No. Yeah. She could replace my battery.

[Shannon]

That's love. That's a love language.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. She's guilty of loving too much.

[Shannon]

Love language. Yeah, she.

[Eric Gaines]

She love Hall.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's just that Carrie Underwood song.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

You know what I mean?

[Eric Gaines]

Beat up the guy or the girl is my. Because if she beat up the girl, that's kind of shitty. But if she hit the dude for cheating on her. I get it.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She probably hit them both.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, of course.

[Zach Amico]

But it's in bed. Her boyfriend in bed with her friend.

[Shannon]

Oh.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, with her friend. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah. Then of course. Very pretty.

[Shannon]

Though, very pretty.

[Eric Gaines]

She.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She had the mug shot like. I didn't do anything.

[Shannon]

Oh, wow. Blonde bombshell.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Seems like meth though.

[Eric Gaines]

She's really.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She has like drug skin, I think.

[Shannon]

Drug skin? Hold on, let me see. Oh, yeah, Maybe in the cheeks.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, I don't know. I. I know she looks pretty. That hair is very healthy for a drug.

[Shannon]

She stole something. She stole something.

[Eric Gaines]

You think she stole something?

[Shannon]

Yeah, she stole something.

[Eric Gaines]

I think that makes sense. I don't know if this is a. We could. This could be a murderer.

[Shannon]

She could be a whole murderer. But from the look of it, she did some like high end stealing, maybe.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Maybe white collar crime.

[Shannon]

White collar crime. Something like a blonde. She stole some jewelry. I don't know.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Insider trading.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm gonna go check. Forgery. Wow.

[Shannon]

She might look like she might have did some signatures.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Something money related.

[Shannon]

Signatures.

[Zach Amico]

So she's making possession of controlled substance, class C, driving under the influence, causing serious injury with dangerous driving.

[Robbie Goodwin]

What was the. Does anyone know what the.

[Zach Amico]

The controlled substance? I don't know.

[Shannon]

You said meth, right?

[Robbie Goodwin]

I. I thought meth could have been.

[Eric Gaines]

That could be a coke too.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, maybe it was a cokey. Yeah, she. Yeah, it's like she looked more coke. She looks hella dehydrated.

[Eric Gaines]

I still put her at number two in this round though.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I would agree with her.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm gonna put her very pretty. But that other girl, she looks like she ruined your life.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, number one. Really? Yeah, we peaked with number one.

[Zach Amico]

This is the next one.

[Shannon]

Ooh, she did up. She dolled up too.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, I like her. Yeah, that's a. That's a pretty girl.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She came from a party or a club or something.

[Shannon]

Drunk driving, hair a little disheveled, but she had a scratch on her. So, my bro, she cooking a little bit. She is a. I'm saying, striking glare.

[Eric Gaines]

You're saying murder.

[Shannon]

She cut somebody in the right spot, blood them out.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm going, you know what? I see murder in her eyes too.

[Shannon]

Murder.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm going. Murder.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Rob, I think. I think it's something to do with a party or a dance club. So I think she might have like, maybe drug somebody. Drug somebody? Yeah, in the back or something like that.

[Eric Gaines]

Or a fight at a party, maybe.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It could be.

[Eric Gaines]

I think she'd be more fucked up.

[Shannon]

I think no people somebody maybe fought over.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay?

[Shannon]

But I think murder. I don't give a fuck. She looks like she met like a baby maybe. I don't know. Something.

[Zach Amico]

So it's a possession of a Firearm and end gang enhancement. So that means. Meaning that she's part of a gang, and so they bumped up her charge of possession of a firearm.

[Eric Gaines]

So I would say again, girlfriend of gang member. Yeah, high end gang girlfriend. All right, I'm. I'm putting her at two on this round.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Me too.

[Eric Gaines]

One, two, three.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

So, yeah, what she is very.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I put her number one.

[Shannon]

One.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, you know, what with the eyes.

[Shannon]

Shorty and then the blonde chick. Third.

[Eric Gaines]

I agree. I agree. She's prettier than. She's pretty.

[Shannon]

Something about the sex. She got a. She got something to her, man. I don't know.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Three is prettier, but two, some of them, she will X factor.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Sex Factor 2 looks like she would do shit to you without you having to ask.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Three seems like she's like a cold fish in bed. Like she like, kind of like.

[Shannon]

Nah. Two look like a. Was that. Was it an orgasm induced aneurysm? That's what I got the other day. She'll fuck the shit out of you, dog. Like the second one look like. Yeah, she'll take your soul on some Shang Tsung.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, she'll. She'll take your soul out your butthole with her tongue.

[Shannon]

Something. Something about the second girl looks nuts. Devious.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, devious. Third girl will give you the child's pose and that's it.

[Shannon]

Number two got something going.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Two will do crazy things. She'll do whatever.

[Eric Gaines]

All right, well, that was fun. Thank you guys for playing.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That was great. I like that game a lot.

[Shannon]

That's a good game.

[Eric Gaines]

Thank you. That was Shannon's idea, so thank you so much, Shannon.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Great job, Shannon.

[Eric Gaines]

All right. We've been doing a lot of ditty stuff, and I apologize, but extra more came out today.

[Robbie Goodwin]

First day of his first day of his trial. Right.

[Eric Gaines]

First week.

[Robbie Goodwin]

First week. Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

So Cassie apparently had to leave the stand because they were reading her text.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She had a spot at New York Comedy Club.

[Eric Gaines]

They were reading. I'll be there tonight. I'll be reading her text and trying to say that she was a willing participant.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

Because she was sexting and I guess her kids are there and she asked for a break because she broke down. However, there's a new allegation, and I don't like when these happen because I feel like it's trying to add insult to injury.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

And it makes the claim less credible. All right, they're claiming Diddy has a quote unquote Tootsie Roll sized penis.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah, I heard that. I heard that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Which there's nothing wrong with having a small penis.

[Shannon]

Wait, wait, wait. But a Tootsie Roll? You ever seen a Tootsie Roll? I have a bad ex, man.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I mean, it would make sense though.

[Shannon]

It would make sense acting like that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

These crazy guy, these crazy sex perverts all have up dicks. Like Harvey had like a nothing dick, right?

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, but that's also it. Just. See, when you say that, I feel like I think he raped me is fine. I don't think we then also need Annie has a little dick.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Because it makes it seem vitriolic.

[Shannon]

Yeah. And like that's insult injury, right? Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

It makes me doubt the original thing.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And I think people already want to hate people with small penises for no reason. So they're just like. Well, they're probably a rapist, you know?

[Shannon]

Oh, man, that's fucked. Yeah, but.

[Eric Gaines]

And if you get raped by a Tootsie Roll sized penis, like, there's no blood. What did he do?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right?

[Eric Gaines]

What did he really do?

[Shannon]

Kind of poked you.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

It's like you sat in the middle of a bench, right? Yeah.

[Shannon]

You got poked.

[Robbie Goodwin]

How many licks does it take to get this?

[Eric Gaines]

A one, a two, a three. Ow, you bit my dick.

[Shannon]

A three. That's why I heard the Tootsie Roll thing.

[Eric Gaines]

Shannon, what do we got about it?

[Zach Amico]

So we don't know who.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I have a jelly roll sized penis.

[Shannon]

Good for you, man.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Thanks, man. It's very inconvenient.

[Zach Amico]

So she hasn't identified herself. She's going as Jane Doe. The claims are that this happened in May of 2001. She said that they hung out a few times without incident and his Manhattan recording studio. Things went south. The fourth time that they hung out, she claims after a night out at the club, Diddy took her back to his apartment, leading her to his bedroom where he locked the door and pushed her down onto a bed on her back, placing his hand around her throat and telling her, I'm going to suck the life out of you. The woman then claims, all right, up.

[Eric Gaines]

Till now, this is just seduction sound.

[Shannon]

Like a. Sound like a Cinemax theme.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

The woman claims Diddy released his grip on her neck and then held her arm down, using his other hand to unbuckle his belt and pants before, quote, pulling out his erect, bare skinned penis, which appeared to be the length and girth of a large Tootsie Roll.

[Eric Gaines]

Wait, a large.

[Robbie Goodwin]

How large is a large Tootsie Roll?

[Shannon]

What's a large Tootsie Roll?

[Eric Gaines]

Bare skin penis. You mean just his penis?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Bare skin penis.

[Eric Gaines]

Wait a minute.

[Shannon]

He peeled it back. Yeah. There was a Sean John sweatsuit on. I don't understand these. These.

[Eric Gaines]

What is that, like a bare skin rug?

[Shannon]

Yeah, like, I don't.

[Eric Gaines]

It's got claws. Wait, does she mean the.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Like, she meant to say black skin penis?

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. Bring up large tootsie. Because I was thinking the minis.

[Shannon]

Yeah, the little.

[Eric Gaines]

Took the coming Halloween Bay long. Oh, those.

[Robbie Goodwin]

The long Tootsie Rolls.

[Eric Gaines]

Aren't those Minis, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a Tootsie Roll.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That makes more sense. That makes a lot more sense.

[Shannon]

Thin.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's a thin six incher. It seems like.

[Eric Gaines]

You know what? That makes way more sense because I was thinking of the. The Halloween Minis.

[Robbie Goodwin]

All right, okay, then that's actually a good accurate descriptor. That doesn't.

[Zach Amico]

That one's huge.

[Eric Gaines]

I'll take that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I. Fucking Shannon's. Like, what's it. What's it getting into, ladies?

[Shannon]

Shan, is that good for you right here?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, that seems pretty normal. I mean, it's a little on the thin side, but it's still pretty normal.

[Eric Gaines]

I feel like that's extra big.

[Shannon]

I don't know.

[Eric Gaines]

Or that's a very little giant.

[Shannon]

No, that's giant. Giant. Look at the giant Susie roll. Let's go to them. Yeah, yeah, go to giant and then we'll.

[Eric Gaines]

That's a big. That's the big one. All right.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, and these are two.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's not the size of the Tootsie King.

[Eric Gaines]

Size of the roll that I feel like is the regular one. Yeah. Long and thin. That's a.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's poop.

[Eric Gaines]

That's just.

[Shannon]

That is a loaf of shit.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's right there. That's just. That is a.

[Shannon]

That's. That's some shit off South Park. That's not.

[Eric Gaines]

That's wild.

[Shannon]

That's fucking silly, man.

[Eric Gaines]

Well, come on.

[Shannon]

Is it that the toothy road.

[Zach Amico]

Pretty giant.

[Shannon]

I don't.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I made the world's largest Tootsie Roll.

[Shannon]

Wait, if it's.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It.

[Shannon]

I don't know. Okay, that's what I thought. The two top ones.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, that's.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's what everyone. Because those are the most common.

[Eric Gaines]

I think she was saying.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She said large Tootsie Roll.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, the middle. The second to last one.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So but then in comparison to a regular Tootsie Roll, that's like the length of like three Tootsie Rolls. That's not. That's not big.

[Shannon]

That's not big at all.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay, well, hey, to some of us, it is Some of us. But some of us would be very happy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Some women would say that's average.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm just thinking of the poor little vanilla Tootsie Roll. Those shitty vanilla Tootsie Rolls.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, man.

[Shannon]

In the blue paper.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. And there was the yellow. It was yellow, orange, and blue. They were terrible. Terrible candy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

They still make, like, different.

[Eric Gaines]

I'm sure they do. By the way, mention of duty. We do. We. We talk when we talk about poop on the show. It's our segment. How's your duty? A fan sent me.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

A product to try. An idea. I bought it on Amazon. Absolutely love it. I cannot remember the brand name, but. So we were talking about flushable wipes and how you're not supposed to flush.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Eric Gaines]

Some people say it's an urban legend. Some people say that they've had to get their septic dug up after years of people using wipes. This guy sent me. It's a spray you can get on Amazon where you basically fold over the toilet paper twice and you spray it and it turns it into a wet wipe that you can flush.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, I like that.

[Eric Gaines]

And I will say you do, like, first three or four wipes, maintenance, then for the. The. The. The end of the job.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Leave something fresh.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. And it's got soothing peppermint. Oh. Which I will say. Had buffalo chicken pizza the other night. Really needed it.

[Shannon]

Jesus.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, it was a bad idea.

[Shannon]

That's Texas, bro. Buffalo chicken pizza says buffalo chicken already on top of cheese and bread and sauce. Wow.

[Eric Gaines]

I made.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's so good.

[Eric Gaines]

I realized I like buffalo chicken pizza if I'm getting a slice of it. I made the mistake of getting a half pie. No, I got half. I got my chick. Half regular and half buffalo chicken for me. And I was like that. That is a single item slice.

[Shannon]

That's taxes. That's ass tax right there. You gonna pay taxes on that?

[Eric Gaines]

That's.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's. Yeah, that's so Aztecs.

[Eric Gaines]

That's. That's what I should have done is I should have gotten a slice of that. And then they do a chicken Caesar salad slice. And I feel like that would have cooled the first one, and I could have went back and forth.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Is this Bravo pizza?

[Eric Gaines]

No, it's in beirage.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Okay. Okay. Aren't you in bed?

[Shannon]

Well, you got to sweep before you mop, so.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shannon]

You know.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. That's the move, I think.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

And because I don't if you've ever, you know, stayed at a Hispanic person's house and you can't even flush the regular toilet paper. Hispanic people have notoriously bad water pressure.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Like, do my fucking family that lived in North Bergen.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

They would literally, like, they would go, oh, if you're gonna use the toilet downstairs, you can't flush the paper. And I go, what do I do with. They're like, throw it in the garbage.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, that's.

[Eric Gaines]

So that side of the family came to visit my family in Seacaucus. That's crazy. And as there was my uncle's cousin, and they're all Cuban, so he's like, hey, can I use the bathroom before we leave? They go, yeah, they left. And my aunt goes to the bathroom and starts fucking screaming. He took a shit, and he took all the shitty toilet paper and put it in a plastic bag and just tied it and left it in the garbage can. No. And my aunt's like, what the fuck is this?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Ew.

[Eric Gaines]

And my uncle Jesus is like. Like, they don't flush toilet paper in the house. They don't know. They don't know that we have water pressure that we can.

[Shannon]

Actually. There's cultural differences. Man, I'm glad I live in America.

[Eric Gaines]

That was North Bergen.

[Shannon]

Yeah. And he didn't know what the. Yeah, that's wild. Culture is. Yeah, culture is different.

[Eric Gaines]

Well, I think they just lived in, like, awful old buildings.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

That couldn't handle anything.

[Shannon]

I was spoiled. I was from the birds. We flushed them, then we flushed again.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And then sprayed.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Like, California Mexicans can flush.

[Eric Gaines]

Do black people like matches after they ship?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

My mom was big on matches.

[Shannon]

My pop was huge on it. My dad was like. I was like, dad, why smell like a fire here? He was like, you don't smell like shit.

[Eric Gaines]

Do it.

[Shannon]

That's a good point.

[Eric Gaines]

Mario was big on matches. And then eventually we moved to spray.

[Shannon]

Yeah, but matches. My pop was big on matches. But then the Glade hit with the extra hard. The baby smell.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. But lighting a match feels so. It feels like you did something.

[Shannon]

And then after a while, my grandma recipe, she was always, you better spray before you leave that goddamn bathroom. And I was like, all right, fair enough.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I like that Sprite.

[Eric Gaines]

The poo pourri is really good.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Poo pourri is solid. I mean, yeah, I should get some. I use Febreze. I should get something more.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, that's. That's.

[Shannon]

That's for clothes.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No, there's like, Febreze for.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was the gross street ticket guy, when I couldn't afford laundry, I would just Febreze all my clothes. I'M such a piece of garbage.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Hey, I've been there, man. Sometimes you just don't want to do laundry.

[Eric Gaines]

Well, hey, let's keep the poop talk going. Amazon driver caught pooping in front of customers, homes.

[Shannon]

Okay. This is New York, right?

[Eric Gaines]

I don't know.

[Robbie Goodwin]

They really need to give these guys bathroom breaks.

[Zach Amico]

It's la.

[Shannon]

Some of the comics, I think John Lasseter posted something about some bum in Brooklyn like on somebody step. It was wild.

[Zach Amico]

This is LA and I'm sorry, it's from a news.

[Shannon]

Oh, wow. Okay. Driver is caught on camera.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's a girl.

[Shannon]

Moments after Shorty.

[Eric Gaines]

She's going to be on mug shies.

[Shannon]

Oh.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Find the mass right on their doorstep.

[Shannon]

And the surveillance footage shows the driver.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Why did she do that once but.

[Eric Gaines]

Twice, just minutes apart? Oh, the delivery driver has already been released, you might say from her job.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, she's been relieved. All right.

[Zach Amico]

KTLA's Carlos Sado is alive in Woodland Hills with more.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Quite a story tonight.

[Eric Gaines]

Carlos, pause. Just think the next time you see a girl in little gray short shorts, there might be an unwiped asshole.

[Shannon]

She might have a. Because she picked right up. She didn't wipe shit, so.

[Eric Gaines]

She didn't.

[Shannon]

She got crust ass.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, that ain't all crusty.

[Shannon]

Oh, and it probably stings. She probably in the car.

[Robbie Goodwin]

She didn't even clean up. That's so gross.

[Shannon]

Why not so gross?

[Eric Gaines]

You have a van?

[Shannon]

What you gonna in a van? Well, in a bag. Well, you can in a bag in the van.

[Eric Gaines]

You should have bag in the back of the van.

[Shannon]

Yeah, back in the van. Yeah, that would have been.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's a lot more idea.

[Eric Gaines]

That's what like if you work, go find a bathroom. I mean those Home Depot buckets. That's what those Home Depot buckets are for on job sites half the time.

[Shannon]

How about that?

[Eric Gaines]

If you work on your truck and you're not a lot like certain rich people won't let you use the bathroom if you're working on their house. So you keep the Home Depot bucket. You sit on the. I think they even make an attachment that's got a lid with a seat.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That you could put on the Home Depot.

[Eric Gaines]

The Home Depot bucket.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Damn.

[Eric Gaines]

To make it into. Yeah.

[Shannon]

You shouldn't be shitting outside. Especially on somebody doorstep.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, I like. Lame.

[Shannon]

You could probably shit.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. That's a backyarder.

[Shannon]

That's a backyard. And as you probably put the package on the ship. Ah, that's gross.

[Eric Gaines]

Plus like dude, I'm gonna have an idea. Who did it is. There's a package there, too.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's my thing. It's like, what you think? Like, they didn't have a security.

[Shannon]

Toilet paper holder rag so you can wipe the taint.

[Eric Gaines]

Good for you.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. You sit in the back of your van, you take a sweaty hungover shit.

[Shannon]

Yeah. And dump the bucket.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I like that they kept the Home Depot branding on there, too.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It'S not from Home Depot.

[Eric Gaines]

That's important.

[Shannon]

That's us. That's us. Yeah, man. Good for Home Depot.

[Eric Gaines]

It's probably so that when people are scrolling, they're like, oh, I have a ton of those.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, yeah. Or maybe it's like the bot. The bongs in, like, a fake Sprite can. So people walking by be like, oh, of course that's just a Sprite can. Oh, that's just the Home Depot bucket.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, you can't say bucket, right?

[Shannon]

That's. You gotta say Home Depot. So, yeah, it can't say bucket.

[Eric Gaines]

Shannon, do you think you can shit in a bucket?

[Shannon]

Shannon, You. You classy. Don't. Don't you say. No.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I mean, if I pooped.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah. Okay. That's fair, right?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Girls don't.

[Shannon]

But, Shannon, no shit. No, girls don't shit.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Girls don't poop. Except for delivery drivers, apparently.

[Eric Gaines]

Apparently she had a special delivery.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And by the way, what can brown do for you?

[Shannon]

There you go. That's very nice. You figured that was some ups. She would have done okay.

[Zach Amico]

She didn't poop on both porches. She pooped on one and she peed on the other.

[Eric Gaines]

Okay. She's marking her territory.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, great.

[Eric Gaines]

The other house had.

[Shannon]

That's fun.

[Eric Gaines]

The other house had prime.

[Shannon]

The other one said prime, you silly. That was good. That was really good. That was very fast. Good for y' all. The white guy's fast with y' all little jokes. Quips between y' all two is very nice. I wish I had that kind of speed.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Expedited delivery.

[Eric Gaines]

Shannon, did they catch. She's been fired already.

[Zach Amico]

Yep, she's been fired.

[Eric Gaines]

And there's no more update. Just drop the lock. Now the question is, did she send a picture of it? That's what dad said.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That.

[Shannon]

Dude, I was thinking at it. Let me get a picture real fast. Just make sure.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Do you guys ever, like, look at your poops after a big one and, like, kind of proud of it? Little bit all the time.

[Shannon]

I had one yesterday. I was like, good God. That was holding me back from a lot of blessings. I said, thank God that isn't dude.

[Eric Gaines]

Me and my best friends still send each other if we really drop one or. He's got a. He's got a son now. His son's like, five. He'll be like, you got to see. You got to see the monster, dude. He. His son accidentally on his shoe the other day.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, no.

[Eric Gaines]

He was sitting in like. Like. Like shorts, and they were watching a movie, and he was sitting on his dad's feet. And he gets up and he just dropped a full man turn.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, my.

[Eric Gaines]

Right across my friend's sneakers. And he just look and took a picture. And he's like, another day in the life of a dad.

[Robbie Goodwin]

You gotta be kind of proud.

[Eric Gaines]

He's just dropping man logs.

[Robbie Goodwin]

His boys can swim.

[Shannon]

That's crazy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No, I, like, I will, like, sometimes I'll be, like, impressed with, like, how big of a poop I'll have. And I'll be like. I'll, like, stare at it. I'll be like, damn. Like, I did something.

[Shannon]

Absolutely. I go, fuck you, demon. Because, you know, if it's. Because when you drop a big. You're like, I was in there. Oh, right.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Hold me back from something.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I didn't know my organs.

[Shannon]

I didn't know my intestines could hold all that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Sometimes I'll be like, my. I'll be in a bad mood. I'll feel depressed, and then I'll have like a big poop. And I'll be like, because it's toxic. It was that.

[Shannon]

It's fucking toxins. Then that shit gets in your brain.

[Eric Gaines]

And all that shit.

[Shannon]

You know, they say if you don't shit, your teeth turn yellow, your breath stink, all that shit. So you got to get it out. So when you see all that that was out, you'd be like, yeah, I feel a whole lot better about it.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's funny. It's like my whole life seems different now because I took my. That poops out of me.

[Shannon]

Shouldn't get rid of heartburn. It's like when you shit the shit, the burn go out. Like it's everything.

[Eric Gaines]

Did you ever notice sometimes ADHD people hold their shits a lot? Why? So I've noticed in my life, people with adhd, they like to. It's almost like they get distracted and don't. Like they're doing 85 things. And so every time they have to shit, it's an absolute emergency.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Because they've been holding it for a half an doing other ADHD activities.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's kind of me a little bit.

[Shannon]

I. It's Ritual for me, like when I go on auditions and big, big buildings, like, like pretentious. Take me a good dump.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

My building for 20 minutes. That's all I need. Next 20 minutes is mine so I can get this audition.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Next to the Comedy Store there was this hotel. I don't know if they still let the comics in, but there's this great bathroom right next to it in a hotel. And it was like the best bathroom ever. And I just like, I had such a great time just pooping in that bathroom.

[Shannon]

Not the pendry. Not.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Because that's a big ass one. You know, you're in the patio across.

[Shannon]

This way or this way.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It's like, all right, you enter and it's to the right. It's like right to the right. Oh, I know that big ass hotel. And those bathrooms are incredible. And it was very funny how many, like people would sign up for the open mic and go in there. And I'm like, I can't believe they're letting all these open micros in here. This is crazy.

[Eric Gaines]

They didn't let me. They wouldn't let me into the after party for my own Roast Battle taping there.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, my.

[Eric Gaines]

Because I wasn't dressed appropriately.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's crazy.

[Shannon]

That's funny.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's hilarious.

[Eric Gaines]

But yeah. And by the way, when you work in the street, you figure out the best bathrooms in the city. So when we were selling tickets, it was Burlington Coat Factory, top floor.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Ooh, I like that. Yeah.

[Shannon]

Where's this at?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Midtown.

[Eric Gaines]

Midtown? Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Like, there's some great. There's some great public bathrooms in midtown. Now there's one on like 47th or 50th. It's just like, it's a great bathroom. Best bathroom downtown. This is the hardest one. This is the hardest place to find a public bathroom. Eataly, the new Eataly in like Soho by little Sheetly NY Petaly.

[Eric Gaines]

That was the number one thing. I got so spoiled moving to the city, going to nyu because I could use my NYU pass.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Right.

[Eric Gaines]

To go to the bathroom anywhere downtown.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, it's really hard to find bathrooms.

[Shannon]

You did all four years nyu?

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah, hard. It's not real. I went to art school. Not real. Not real school.

[Shannon]

Well, yeah, but I went to art school. I went to jazz college in Philly. That's not real school. I had to make sounds for our grades. I understand, professor.

[Eric Gaines]

Now that's what you do in your act.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Scooby doo bop de beep.

[Shannon]

Yeah. That's why you sing every punchline. I'm not Josh Adam.

[Eric Gaines]

Your education.

[Shannon]

I'm not Josh Adam Myers. I've been trying to just.

[Robbie Goodwin]

What do you do for work?

[Eric Gaines]

This guy's got a job. Scabba Doo.

[Robbie Goodwin]

How long you been dating?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I don't do that, thank God. But, yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

Oh, they hesitated.

[Shannon]

Skibbly.

[Eric Gaines]

Do in Paradise. Next person.

[Robbie Goodwin]

All right, Bill Bur's coming up.

[Shannon]

Scribbly. I hate when I bring that name up. How much snapping. Everybody. Everybody shits on Josh, you know, he's the nicest guy. He's the greatest guy.

[Eric Gaines]

It's easy to do.

[Shannon]

It's.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, it's. It's basically just Raspy Jack Black, like.

[Eric Gaines]

The same way. I've said that. The same way that when everybody does Mulaney.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Eric Gaines]

They just do Howard Cosell.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can see that.

[Eric Gaines]

Somebody stop the damn fight. Yeah. Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I love my wife.

[Eric Gaines]

And then Tim Dillon. Everybody does Jiminy Glick.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I mean, yeah, okay, that is go.

[Shannon]

High and then really lose. Very true.

[Eric Gaines]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

But to be fair, Tim Dillon is Jiminy Glick. If you watch Jiminy Glick, it's like, oh, this is the Tim Dillon Show. He's like, why did you get on that steam logs?

[Eric Gaines]

What do you do? I'm unaware of your work.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Next time, a little lighter on the cologne.

[Eric Gaines]

One time, Tim came in here when I was. It was years ago still, and it was just the best fucking burn on me without having to be mean. He goes, so you're more of a writer. And it was such a true mean thing. You're more of a writer than a performer.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I got that. I got that once from a fucking actual, like, guy who worked at cbs, which was very devastating. You don't even know. He's like, you are such a writer. God damn, dude. Sorry. Just call me ugly.

[Eric Gaines]

All right, thank you guys so much for tuning in. Please check out our guests. Derek Gaines. No need for apologies. Robbie Goodwin. Crowder boys. Both of you guys, thank you so much for your time. And we will be back for our exclusive Friday episode here on Gas Digital. This is the Morning Zoo saying goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Noon is morning time to him.

[Shannon]

Papa Baco.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Chug it down just like the favorite obi's Clown. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Acamiko Morning, too. It's Acamiko.

[Shannon]

Whoa, whoa.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Morning, too. Whoa.