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Zach Amico
Fill her up. You're listening to the GAS Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and Jo the crew It's a morning.
Che Darrena
Whoa.
Zach Amico
Holy smokes, look at that. It's a Monday. And I knew I wore a shirt with green on it. Shannon. I just didn't have it in me to change, even though I have a suitcase in the next room. Hey, it's the international superstar, your other boy, Zach Amico. And I just got off the road this morning with my friends the Insane Clown Posse and jcw. Really fucking fun. And thank you to everybody that came out. All sold out, all fucking packed. Really fucking fun. Thank you to everybody that came up and said, you listen to the show. That's really cool and I truly appreciate it. Across the table from me are two of my very favorite people to do podcasts with. From the no offense with Doug Yuram podcast, it's our good friend Doug Yeram.
Doug Yuram
Hi.
Zach Amico
How you doing, man?
Doug Yuram
This is such a different vibe. I like it. Nobody's being screamed at.
Zach Amico
Yeah, we're on time. It's happening. And by the way, amazing. No. No shade to my former co host.
Doug Yuram
No, no.
Zach Amico
It's just trying something different. Yeah. And it's just nice. I think it's just. It's just a nice way to start the day.
Doug Yuram
Exactly. Shannon's not going to be sexually harassed.
Che Darrena
Shannon will be.
Zach Amico
Shannon's not.
Che Darrena
I will make sure that that part of the show stays.
Zach Amico
Shannon's not blinking. Help through the and across the table. Also from the Dark Holes podcast, it is our good friend, Che Darrena. Bubba. How you. How you doing?
Che Darrena
I'm doing good right now. Okay. I would. I do want an update on Shannon's tits. If we're talking sexually harassing Shannon. Have those been replaced yet?
Zach Amico
Shannon?
Shannon
No, they have not been replaced.
Che Darrena
That's crazy.
Doug Yuram
She's getting fake tits.
Che Darrena
No, she has faked his, but they've been in there for like 22 years or some. Is that the number?
Shannon
20? Yeah, it's gonna be 23 shortly.
Che Darrena
I nailed it. I know.
Zach Amico
Yeah, dude, that'll be. That should be your new job. You should look at tits and tell them how old they are.
Che Darrena
I know how old those tits are, dude. Yeah, dude, but yeah. Cause you're supposed to get them replaced after 10 years.
Doug Yuram
Is that true?
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
They're like veneers.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
You just have to keep fucking swapping them out.
Zach Amico
Ridge Voss would look great with some big fake kits, wouldn't he?
Doug Yuram
I just got these yesterday.
Zach Amico
Look, Shannon, can you go on my Twitter while we're talking and see, I posted a video of a lady on a plane in a low cut shirt. And it is wild.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
It's so much that I think I would be like, lady, this kid's here.
Che Darrena
So this was just a lady in the wild.
Zach Amico
It was a lady taking a video and it was like. Do you think this. I was told this outfit was inappropriate to fly in.
Che Darrena
Oh, okay. So it's like. It was like. Like a TikTok kind of thing. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And dude, I almost thought it was like a camera trick.
Che Darrena
Do you. Do you think this is now? Okay, I'm gonna call it on this. This is probably. She has an only fans and this is promo.
Zach Amico
Maybe, but this is exceptionally. Like, it almost looks like she's trolling.
Doug Yuram
What the fuck is that? She has long, disgusting tits.
Zach Amico
Oh, my God.
Doug Yuram
They look like Pringle cans.
Zach Amico
That is crazy.
Che Darrena
To spice up the bit we're in, like, she's got orangutan tits. You're like, she's got long, disgusting tits.
Zach Amico
Yeah. There's no. There's no poetry to it. There's no art to it. Big tits are fucking falling down, dude.
Che Darrena
I can.
Zach Amico
They're supposed to be up on their down.
Che Darrena
You could tie those in a knot.
Doug Yuram
You could tie those in gross, man.
Che Darrena
Okay, Shannon, check if she got only fans. I'm. I'm willing to put money on it. This is rage bait. Only fans promo. I'm willing to put money on that shit.
Zach Amico
She literally stored her tits under the seat. Yeah, dude, like, they were a fanny pack on Delta.
Che Darrena
Did they go in the hiding a gun in the front?
Zach Amico
I think they were using them as landing gear. She's in the sky. Her tits are on the ground having a drink in the airport still.
Che Darrena
Dude, if. Yeah, if. If the plane start go down, she could jump out and then just use miss parachute.
Zach Amico
Just like.
Doug Yuram
And then they'll double as flotation devices if they hit water.
Che Darrena
Exactly, dude.
Zach Amico
Double is skis.
Doug Yuram
Those are horrendous, man.
Che Darrena
Those are crazy. What do you do if you got tits like that? You just cry. Cry.
Zach Amico
I mean, you see like older black ladies.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Who walk around with no bra on sometimes and they are like, seriously around their belly.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. They go to their spine.
Che Darrena
I. I hooked up with this chick one Time that had long saggy tits. And I remember she was on top of me and she was like. She was like hanging them. Like, they were like.
Zach Amico
She's dangling like a mobile.
Che Darrena
Yeah, like a mobile. Yeah. And they were like. And she's like, yes. And I. She thought that was hot.
Doug Yuram
And I was like, that is not hot. That is awful.
Zach Amico
Dude. Batting them away.
Che Darrena
Oh, my God, get him out of here.
Doug Yuram
It's like a cat playing with a toy. That is some nasty. Yeah. Like, I like natural tits better.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Sometimes it's a luck of the draw. Either you could have very nice natural tits. And of course, natural tits are always going to sag. Or you could have that.
Che Darrena
But sometimes, dude, again, another hookup. There's this. I remember it's the first Jewish chick I banged. Oh, I remember she was on top of me and she took off her bra and their tits were so big. I was like, they're going to drop. And they didn't. They just like, that's. And I was like, oh, my God. And she had those little tiny nips, like they say in super bad. They're like little baby toes.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. Little races.
Che Darrena
Yeah. A little racist.
Zach Amico
Absolutely. By the way, I have been loving to do street jokes on the show. Old lady goes to the doctor and she's. Doc, I have a. I have an issue. I have a. I have a hole between my breasts. And the doctor goes, let me see. He goes, man, that's your belly button.
Che Darrena
That's great.
Zach Amico
That's Shannon. Did you see if that lady has anything or. No, no info.
Shannon
So I Google image searched her and I think I found her Twitter. I mean, look, see, you tell me if this looks like her enough to you, but doesn't look like she has an Only fans. That does look like Ukrainian. It does, right?
Zach Amico
Ukrainian.
Shannon
Okay, this is. This is this.
Che Darrena
Yeah, that is her.
Doug Yuram
But all Ukrainians kind of look alike. That very slob face.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shannon
Not. Not a lot of followers. There's no indication of only fans search.
Doug Yuram
I didn't know you could do that. Yeah, you do that.
Zach Amico
Shannon's on top of technology. Shannon's much more savvy than she gets credit for. Yeah, Shannon can fucking fuck her way around the Internet.
Che Darrena
I gotta. I gotta.
Zach Amico
She's a smart bitch.
Che Darrena
You gotta show me how to do that.
Zach Amico
All right. We got a lot of fun shit to talk about today, Saggy. And I wanna start with this. Even though this isn't my horror movie show, this news is just too great. Ceiling collapses on woman during screening of new Final Destination movie that Was a real story.
Doug Yuram
I thought that was bullshit.
Zach Amico
Oh, no, that shit's real bullshit.
Doug Yuram
That's fucking amazing.
Che Darrena
Yeah, it was like in Argentina.
Zach Amico
I believe so. Yeah. And it didn't kill her. It missed. It hit her in the knee.
Doug Yuram
Oh, so now death is stalking.
Zach Amico
She's also sitting with, I think her daughter. Oh, Shannon. What's the detail? Yeah.
Doug Yuram
So she got to kill her daughter to reverse it.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah.
Shannon
So, yeah. So she is 29. She was with her 11 year old daughter. She was there to celebrate.
Che Darrena
Nuts, dude.
Zach Amico
No, she was an Argentine.
Shannon
She went there to celebrate her birthday. By the way, she said she hasn't been to the movies in years. She doesn't like big like a public areas. And this is.
Zach Amico
That's for the lawsuit. That's for the. I guarantee you now she has a panic disorder and ptsd. And now that's part of the lawsuit.
Shannon
Yeah, that is.
Doug Yuram
Do they sue people like that in Argentina like they do here?
Zach Amico
I'm sure for this case. Yeah. Connected to a big movie like that.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah. A theater like. Like it's probably a chain theater. Their ceiling falls in. There's some cash to be made probably. Yeah.
Shannon
I have a couple images. This one just. It's just showing kind of. This is the hole. This is what fell on her.
Doug Yuram
Wow.
Shannon
And then this is the floor after.
Doug Yuram
And how far away are the seats?
Shannon
And that's her bruise. This is.
Doug Yuram
That's a big knee. Was it that swollen before the ceiling hit him? That is a giant, fat Argentinian knee.
Che Darrena
Yeah, that's the one. Why you're like, what part of the body is that?
Doug Yuram
That could be a hip.
Che Darrena
Yeah, dude. It could be a belly. Yeah, that's a. Yeah.
Doug Yuram
I don't know what that is. Well, you see the scar above it?
Zach Amico
I mean, I really. I want to see. I'm blocking and seeing the new movie.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Because it's my favorite franchise.
Che Darrena
Really?
Zach Amico
Thousands.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
I think it is the most underrated of all the horror franchise. I think they're consistent.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I say anyone in our generation is scared to drive behind the log truck.
Che Darrena
Yeah. The log truck is legendary.
Zach Amico
Log truck had this conversation with wrestlers this week. Tanning bed. Yeah.
Che Darrena
Oh, yeah.
Doug Yuram
That was my favorite scene out of all the.
Zach Amico
The line in the shower. The clothesline in the shower.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then I gotta. My favorite, I think is the weightlifter kid with the swords.
Che Darrena
The weightlifting one is the one I always think about because that's. I think you're at the gym. And then I'm like, I'm gonna get crushed.
Zach Amico
Oh, no, for me, it's the girl on the balance beam with the screw on it.
Che Darrena
Oh, I don't know if I know that one.
Doug Yuram
I don't remember.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Oh, Shannon, come on. What are we. What are we doing? It's not a Zach amigo show. We're gonna watch.
Doug Yuram
Screw. I could only imagine how that.
Zach Amico
What I love about the final destinations is eventually they just become these like. And forgive my ignorance, is the term like a Rube Goldberg machine. Like. Yeah, it's like. It's like the game mouse. Remember the game mousetrap?
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
We're just 85. Things go wrong, right? And it just shows you, like, the fucking will of the earth is the will of the earth. Yeah, this. Yeah, this is the one.
Doug Yuram
This is it.
Zach Amico
Yeah. I love this.
Doug Yuram
I don't remember this.
Zach Amico
And it's the way they build tension that I think is so impressive. Cuz now you're going. All right.
Che Darrena
Cuz you're.
Zach Amico
We've got our setting.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
What number was this, Chad? Is this five?
Che Darrena
And you.
Shannon
Yes, five.
Che Darrena
You know, something's going to happen. You're just like, how?
Zach Amico
So now you're like, okay, something's going to happen.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Okay. This thing's loose in the fan.
Doug Yuram
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
Feet stuff me up too.
Doug Yuram
How'd she not see that? Idiot.
Zach Amico
Because it's a movie. Done. Big long tits. Step on the nail, you.
Doug Yuram
She catches a nipple on the screw on a balance beam.
Che Darrena
That's great. How they have her, like, dancing around it.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Oh, good.
Zach Amico
So now you go. Okay, well, that's Tom Cruise look alike.
Doug Yuram
Oh, my God, that's it. Every time, Candace.
Zach Amico
Now again, we're okay. Well, it wasn't gonna be that. Oh, now she might get electrocuted, but this lady stops her.
Doug Yuram
She can't wipe that birthmark off. Okay, go to bars.
Zach Amico
And now. All right, she's avoided twofers.
Che Darrena
I like to think that death is, like, hanging around with a bunch of other spiritual creatures. And they're watching this too. And he's like, look, guys, look at.
Zach Amico
What I cooked up.
Che Darrena
Like, what's he got this. No, it's gonna be the screw. They're all betting on it.
Doug Yuram
Damn.
Zach Amico
And now we're gonna introduce another element. Everything's loose.
Doug Yuram
This school sucks.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Jesus Christ.
Zach Amico
This movie should be called Lazy Janitor.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
You can make a deal with death just to get sick lawsuits out of this. Like, don't kill me, just maim me.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, I'd rather be killed.
Zach Amico
Yeah. But in final Destination. If you just get maimed, it starts again.
Doug Yuram
That's true.
Che Darrena
Oh, yeah, true.
Doug Yuram
Then you're wishing you'd die so it works out. Oh, my goodness. Oh, God damn it.
Che Darrena
The chalk smoke, confusion.
Doug Yuram
Oh, who saw that one coming?
Che Darrena
There's no way you could land that hard and flopped like.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, she snapped like a twig, dude.
Che Darrena
Her body bones exploded out of her skin and. Oh, I love it.
Zach Amico
I eat that up, dude.
Che Darrena
I guess it is Final Destination. Working on that movie is just. You get to come up with clever ways of just like, how are we gonna kill this person? Okay, what if this happened? Then this. Then.
Zach Amico
And then it is the last movie of Tony Todd Candyman.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
Yeah, he's in most of the movies. I think maybe there's one or two he's not. He's the voice of. He's the coroner. He's the voice of the roller coaster in the roller coaster one.
Doug Yuram
Oh, yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, when you. What's it like? Come up. Yeah, yeah, Ride the ride. That's Tony. And he's a corner in this one, too, I believe. But I will say I'm barking. Seeing it because I read not to say it if you have an issue with MRIs.
Che Darrena
Oh, what's that?
Doug Yuram
Amazing. Really?
Zach Amico
Oh, that is fucking. I had some very bad MRI experiences last year.
Che Darrena
Oh, really?
Zach Amico
As a man of my carriage.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Not fun.
Che Darrena
Got stuck in one. You got stuck in mri, had a.
Zach Amico
Panic attack and had a. I had what my therapist referred to as a fuck. What was it was something the same way you would react if you're gonna die.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
I feel the same way when I lose my phone.
Shannon
Can I give it without, like, I saw the movie.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shannon
So, like, I'm not gonna give you. I'm trying not to give any kind of spoiler, but this isn't, like, part of a regular process of getting an mri.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Shannon
I think it's okay. I think you're okay to see it.
Zach Amico
You think I can get through it?
Shannon
I think so, yeah.
Zach Amico
All right, I'll go see it.
Che Darrena
You can always just get up and leave if you want.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I'm just. I don't want to start. Yeah, I'm just. I don't want to have it in my head.
Che Darrena
Yeah, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. Yeah. But, yeah, I saw the promo for it where they. They put, like, a ad for the new movie on the back of a log truck, which is, like, hilarious.
Doug Yuram
That is great.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Well, yeah. So, hey, if you saw it, let us know what you think. Give me a tweet.
Doug Yuram
Portable grill. Scare me because of that fucking movie, too.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
That they're just going to explode every time I use one. I can't. That's. That's. This movie is me.
Che Darrena
It's. It's the gym when I like to stretch in between my sets. And I'll be this. I'll have the weights on the bar, on the squat rack. I'm like a break and then, like, hit my neck.
Doug Yuram
That happens. You see that happen? Like when people, like, put too much weight on the bar and the bar goes forward and the bottom base cracks people in the back of the head. Oh, it's great. Those weightlifting fails.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Oh, dude, I. Yeah, one bone breaks kill me. And especially anything with legs.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
So you don't do a lot of skateboarding videos?
Zach Amico
No. Those me up.
Che Darrena
Yeah, I love a good skateboarding video.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. Or motorcycle accident. That's.
Che Darrena
Dude, there's one where it's. It's this dude, he's on a motorcycle and he, like, falls over and there's like a railing, and you're just seeing the dash cam footage from another car. And then you just see his helmet, like, bonk, bonk, like, hits the railing. And then the caption says. It's. It says something like, motorcyclists hurt in. Or mildly hurt in. Small crash.
Doug Yuram
His head is still in the helmet yet.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our good friends at Y Kratom, home of the $60 kilo. If you use Kratom. If you don't use it, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom, there's only one place on earth you need to be getting it from, and that's our good friends@yocratum.com why, you may ask? Because they have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at the gas digital network. So stop going to bodegas, smoke shops, or gas stations and getting just a little bit of Kratom at a time. And you don't even know what's in there. When you go to yocratom.com today and get a whole kilo delivered to your door for just 60 bucks. There's no promo code needed because it's already the best deal in the world to Kratom. Check them out. Today, ycratom.com, home of the $60 kilo. Did you guys grow up with Faces of Death?
Doug Yuram
Yes.
Che Darrena
Oh, I never watched Faces of Death, but I've heard of it.
Doug Yuram
That shit was great.
Zach Amico
So most of them are fake.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, yeah, yeah. However, the monkey.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah. That's all. But there was also traces of death.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
And Traces of Death was a straight up cash in, where they. It was a bootleg. It was never, like, something you could buy at the. You had to buy it. Like, you had to buy a shitty copy of it.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Like, shut it down.
Zach Amico
But it was, like, straight up police footage of car accidents and murders. Wow. And those are fucking. Shannon, if you could. I don't know. I'm not gonna fucking make you watch any of it. But I bought it at a horror con, and it was fucking horrendous. And then the last 10 minutes of it.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
The guy must have also sold porn and forgot. Didn't finish taping over one of his porns. So it just turned into Japanese, like, BDSM porn. W. And I was like, this is a very odd turn for this, because there's no words.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
I was like, what an odd turn for this film to make.
Che Darrena
And so you bought this on, like, vhs?
Zach Amico
Yeah, I bought a VHS of it at a horror convention.
Che Darrena
Oh, wow. That's fucking.
Doug Yuram
That's fucking crazy. I had no idea.
Zach Amico
And they try, like, the first one. So the whole deal faces Death is supposed to be a documentary on death.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And it's very. Got, like, the gravitas of, you know, we're experiments with what happens in the aftermath.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Tracy, that starts like that.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Where it's classical music.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And it's portrayed in a sympathetic way by the second one. It's just grindcore.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Look at these dead Mexicans.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Doug Yuram
Is it worse than Chaotic? You ever been to that site?
Zach Amico
It's. I would say it's on par with the shit we saw in, like, rotten.com and. Oh, grish and shit.
Che Darrena
I remember rotten.com and gore.com. i don't remember Chaotic. What was Chaotic?
Doug Yuram
Chaotic's the new one. Have you ever this new.
Che Darrena
It's out now.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. It's like, all, like, Death and, like, the worst of the cartels.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Holy shit. And they show the entire fucking. Like, you could just, like, Google it on the. Not Google. You could search it on the site. Just put Cartel.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
And you get, like, 19,000 pages of cartel beheadings, chopping up bodies. Like that famous one with the chainsaw.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
The guy up with the chainsaw to that nice 80s song that I can't listen to anymore.
Che Darrena
Oh, there's a video of him chopping a guy up.
Doug Yuram
Oh, it's all real.
Zach Amico
Oh, the cartels will send you videos.
Che Darrena
Yeah. There's a song to it.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. The guy. What was the goddamn Funky Town.
Zach Amico
Okay. Yeah.
Che Darrena
Oh, he does the Funky Town.
Doug Yuram
Funky Town in the background as the guys are tied up. One of them is crying, and they just take a head, like a chainsaw to the guy's head. And you think, like, there'd be some kind of, like, process. It's not just me. And then it just goes right through his fucking head. Yeah. I mean, it cuts through a log so quick.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
And then a human flesh that's just a water bag.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Just right off.
Che Darrena
Yeah. At least it's quick, you know? Yeah.
Zach Amico
I just watched a video. It was a guy who stole cocaine from the cartel, and it was them. He was hogtied.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And they filmed them throwing him into the ocean.
Che Darrena
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
Not just fully fucking cognizant.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And, I mean, he must have just sank.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It was a fuck. And it was a video to, like, set to send to his family.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, hey, he fucked up.
Doug Yuram
Which, if you think about it, that is probably the lightest sentence the cartel can give you.
Che Darrena
No, drowning's gotta suck. I think I would take chainsaw neck over.
Doug Yuram
Oh, you're dead instantly. But then there was another one where they had a dude.
Zach Amico
Yeah, Sometimes. Sometimes those beheadings take a while.
Doug Yuram
And you could hear, like, this one dude, they had him.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Sometimes they're doing it with, like, a spork.
Shannon
I found one Cartel Chainsaw video. I don't know if it's the one.
Zach Amico
You know what? Let's do it.
Doug Yuram
Most famous.
Che Darrena
Let's do it.
Zach Amico
You know what? Oh.
Doug Yuram
Oh, no, that's not it. But this is another good one.
Zach Amico
Yeah. We don't got to do this to Shay.
Che Darrena
This is.
Shannon
No, don't. Don't play it.
Zach Amico
It's up to you.
Che Darrena
This is. I mean, the viewers are going to want it, so I'll just turn away when I need to.
Zach Amico
I think that's fair. Tough but fair.
Doug Yuram
I've seen this. The guy doesn't even cry. Nothing. Like what?
Zach Amico
Oh, boy, how good it won't start.
Doug Yuram
It always takes a while to start these guys. You gas.
Zach Amico
Oh, that's such a scary sound.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. He takes it like a champ, though. Yeah. See this one? The blade's a little dull.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Because he felt too much. I think they did that on purpose, though. Yeah, they definitely did.
Zach Amico
Holy shit. They're taking their time on it.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, they didn't even. They're torturing this poor.
Zach Amico
Oh, God. Yeah.
Doug Yuram
That could be over in, like, 10 seconds. See, this is why it takes forever for you to get a tree removed in your backyard. It's not good with a chain.
Zach Amico
Man. They really did.
Doug Yuram
He did that.
Zach Amico
They picked the most lawnmower sounding weapon.
Che Darrena
Yeah, they.
Doug Yuram
That's the battery one from Home Depot.
Che Darrena
I just did ayahuasca, and they're like, be careful what you consume afterwards.
Zach Amico
Shannon, turn it off. You sick.
Che Darrena
I just looked away for most of it. As soon as they turned on the chainsaw, I was like, yeah, not for me. I don't need to see a guy. Get a second.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, yeah. There was one that was bad. They tied a guy to a cross. Like, it wasn't really. It was more like an ex. And they just cut off his arms and his legs and then left and just taunted him the entire time.
Zach Amico
What was he tied by then?
Che Darrena
He can't.
Doug Yuram
What's that?
Zach Amico
What was he connected by then?
Doug Yuram
Nothing. By the end of it.
Zach Amico
Just. He was just a torso.
Che Darrena
Stay awake long after that.
Doug Yuram
I don't know if he died, but they just left him there. And they were in shock.
Che Darrena
Yeah. You got to bleed out.
Doug Yuram
Oh, you have to, because you're cutting the femoral artery and stuff. But then there's also guys that have been blown to smithereens. Same problems, but they lived through it somehow.
Zach Amico
Dude, I fucking had the funniest interaction the other day with one of my wrestler friends who I've known for, like, a year now. He casually mentioned that he only has nine fingers.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I never noticed, really? And he holds up his hand, and he's missing his pinky.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
My buddy Jeremiah and I go, how the fuck did that happen? And he goes, afghanistan. And I went, oh, okay.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I left it there.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then somebody goes, ask him how? And I'm like, sure.
Doug Yuram
Caught stealing, dude.
Zach Amico
What a fucking. What a carny. He broke his finger playing soccer on his day off while he was in Afghanistan. It didn't heal right. They tried to set it, and he couldn't put it in his pocket or use it and fucked his hand up. So they just cut it off.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then they offered him a purple Heart. And he goes, I didn't take it. Cause I felt that it was disrespectful, of course. But he's like, now I would have. Cause I realized I would have got a bunch more benefits.
Che Darrena
Oh, no way. Yeah.
Zach Amico
He goes, I didn't plan that well. He goes, but it was just so funny. He goes, afghanistan. I'm like, thank you for your service.
Che Darrena
Yeah, thank you.
Zach Amico
Soccer. Yeah, Soccer, Yeah. Recreational injury.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Shake his hand. You feel it's a little bit lighter than normal.
Che Darrena
What's going on here?
Zach Amico
He has another friend who was in the same tour as him who lost his pinky because it got caught in a gun as they were going around the corner of a building.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And his pinky stayed in the gun. And the rest edit.
Doug Yuram
Oh, that's got a suck.
Zach Amico
Yeah, the worst. Ripped off the side. Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. That's terrible.
Che Darrena
My uncles, like bunched them. Only one of them has all their fingers and toes. One of them actually chainsaw. He was working up in the woods, chainsawing. And then like the chainsaw kickback went through his boot, cut a couple of his toes off. And then another uncle, he was working on a farm and there's like a hay baler that got jammed and he was pulling the hay out of it and then turned on Frank, cut his fingers off and then. I can't remember. My other uncle lost his fingers though. But yeah, none of my gambling debt. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Eating toothy rolls.
Che Darrena
Wow. Could be.
Zach Amico
Sorry, buddy.
Che Darrena
No, these are the white uncles, by the way.
Zach Amico
We knew that when you said they were doing work.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
That's a lot of people working in one family. What's going on?
Che Darrena
What's going on?
Doug Yuram
Some suspicious.
Zach Amico
I've always been afraid of. I always thought my dad didn't wear his wedding ring because he was just cheating all the time.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It was because he's afraid of the gloving injuries.
Che Darrena
Oh, okay.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
And one day I woke, he gave me a warning. I just got a text. This is why we don't wear wedding rings.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
One of his guys jumped off the back of the truck, had steel mesh.
Che Darrena
On the back and just fucking ripped his.
Zach Amico
His entire finger was at the end. Oh, so it was bone.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then you just saw the ring by where the nail was.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And everything was bunched up at the end.
Che Darrena
What does your dad do?
Zach Amico
Wel.
Che Darrena
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Doug Yuram
Oh, yeah.
Che Darrena
Fuck that shit, dude. He's not like. Yeah, it's hard to. There's a hard sell if you're a comic.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah.
Che Darrena
Honey, I'm worried about the gloving.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. Might get it caught on the microphone cord as I'm fucking pulling it out of the stand.
Zach Amico
Jimmy Fallon.
Che Darrena
What happened to him?
Zach Amico
Jimmy Fallon got a degloving.
Che Darrena
Whoa.
Zach Amico
Wedding ring. A couple years ago he got his wedding ring caught on a banister when he fell at home and he de. Gloved his finger.
Che Darrena
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Now that's. Some would say.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
He was probably hammered.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
Doug Yuram
He is a drunk.
Zach Amico
As the story persists. Yeah, that old Jimmy likes to have a good time.
Che Darrena
He does like to have a good time. Jimmy likes to booze. Jimmy found there's a lot of comics out there, won't name names, but there are a lot of famous dudes who. It's like, I won't name Nates.
Zach Amico
Nates Bargatz back in the day. I think he's a good boy now.
Che Darrena
Okay. I didn't. I know that he used to party with all the fucking dogs.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Che Darrena
He's a squeaky clean dude. But I've heard that he was like.
Doug Yuram
It'S always those squeaky clean guys that are like, big party.
Zach Amico
Yeah. He used to party with the dog. He used to party hard with the dogs.
Che Darrena
I don't think he was a pussy hound, though. He was never a pussy guy.
Zach Amico
No, he's always been. He's always been.
Che Darrena
He was just like. He just. And I don't even think it was like, drugs. I think he could just booze. But it makes it. He's like, fucking, what a Tennessee south dude? Like, it's not that great. Yeah. It's not that crazy that he would have a tie one on with the boys every night. Yeah, every night. But like, he.
Zach Amico
When I won Roastmasters, that's who took me out drinking.
Che Darrena
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
And that's how. That was how the first time I hung out with him. And he was the coolest. But yeah, he could.
Doug Yuram
He could tell level partying or like.
Che Darrena
Oh, did David tell Big party Guy.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Back in the day that that show Insomniac was all about him partying and everything.
Zach Amico
Yeah. But I think that got ahead. Like, that's all people want then.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, then you're kind of a slave to the. Yeah, to the gimmick.
Che Darrena
Like, dude, that's one of the worst gimmicks to have.
Doug Yuram
Artie Lang was the worst.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Now you got it. Like, fucking deal with drunks.
Che Darrena
Yeah, well. And everyone's like, well, let's have a drink. Let's have a drink together. I stopped doing any type of, like, coke content in my stuff because I was like, oh, I'm not doing coke anymore. Any party content. And then I remember this was after I had stopped and some dude came up to me and was like, oh, dude, like, you want to do a bump with me? Some random guy at a bar? And I was like, oh, no, I'M dude, like, I don't know this guy. I'm not gonna.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
He goes, oh, so you're a poser. That's.
Doug Yuram
And now you're like, you know what? Give it to me.
Zach Amico
You got me.
Che Darrena
Yeah. I don't want to do your strange coke. Sorry, dude. I used to do strange coke quite a bit, though. I remember I did. I was in like.
Zach Amico
It's pretty fun.
Che Darrena
Yeah. I was in like, Mystery White Path, Alberta. Like, some town of like 1500 people did coke with this dude. And my stomach hurt so bad after. It was like mostly speed or something.
Zach Amico
The further I get away from Spanish people.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I always go, where did this come from?
Che Darrena
Where did the coke come from?
Zach Amico
How did it get here?
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And how many butts was it in?
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
How the further to get from Mexico to Canada? That's more than one butt.
Che Darrena
Oh, more than one butt.
Doug Yuram
That's a lot of butts.
Che Darrena
And it's also. It's like.
Zach Amico
It's too many butts. Some would say it's. Yeah, yeah.
Doug Yuram
That's more cut in a bathtub.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
It gets further away from.
Che Darrena
Exactly.
Zach Amico
Yeah. You can always tell when it's like, very speedy.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Yeah.
Zach Amico
You know, he's tell. It's. It's a little chalky. There might be some. Some. Some lax. Baby.
Doug Yuram
Lacks the worst when it's chalky. And you know how it is when you're cutting it up.
Zach Amico
For me, it's the worst is when it's flaky.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It's a little moist almost.
Che Darrena
You want it like. Almost like chunks.
Zach Amico
Like when it's soapy.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. When it's like a rock.
Che Darrena
Yeah. And you have to like, break it up. You have to. Someone puts like a dollar bill.
Doug Yuram
Takes an effort.
Zach Amico
Yeah, exactly.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Then you're like the closest it is.
Doug Yuram
To crack, the better it is.
Che Darrena
Yes.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yes. Vertel. And I'm sure I've said this before, and I don't think I'm telling any secrets. I think after he got sober, he would smarten up the bartender that when he ordered Jaeger or if someone ordered him Jaeger, they would have iced coffee.
Che Darrena
Oh, really?
Zach Amico
In a Jaeger bottle.
Che Darrena
That's a smart move.
Zach Amico
So. Because everybody want. And I think when you have that thing, certain clubs want to book you because we're going to fucking selling drinks. We're going to sell a shitload of drinks.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And they're going to sell more drinks that people want to do a shot with you.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So I think he would smarten up the Staff. Hey, listen, I'm off the booze.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Give me all these shots of iced coffee while everyone else does Jaeger.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Which I think then. I actually think it's polite.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Because you're respecting yourself. You're not saying, hey, I won't do it. You're letting them have.
Che Darrena
They're.
Zach Amico
You're saying you're. You're getting that. They're getting the experience they wanted.
Che Darrena
Yeah. You're selling. It's the same thing as, like, oh, in porn. Are they really coming? Are they. They. Is it really happening? It's like, dude, you just suspend your disbelief. Enjoy the experience.
Zach Amico
Who is this for?
Che Darrena
Who is this for? Exactly. You get to go tell a story. I partied with David. Tell David. Tell. Gets to stay sober. Everyone's happy. What, you need him to get fucked up and fuck up his life? No. You just want to have fun.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Suspend your disbelief, dude.
Zach Amico
I've also heard of people doing shots of Diet Coke.
Che Darrena
Okay. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Instead of whiskey.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Heard Bert Kreischer does that.
Zach Amico
Really?
Doug Yuram
With iced tea. Like, they have them, like, rotate out like it's some whiskey, and then they swap it out with iced tea. Because then you get way too fucked up.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Sebastian Bach did that on. Fuck. What was it? Super group.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
What's the super group? It was a TV show where they had all members from big 80s bands.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Form a super group.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I wanted to say they were called Chicken Foot.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
I could be. I might have made chicken.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I might have made that up, to be completely honest with you. And they were mad about Sebastian's drinking.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he walked on stage with a big bottle of Jack Daniels and they were all furious. And then he walks over to them and makes them smell it. And it was a bottle. Iced tea.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Smart move. Smart move.
Zach Amico
But that was an old wrestling story. It was Scott Hall. Yeah. They part. Those boys partied.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And they were in wcw and they're going to fire Scott Hall. They wanted to fire Scott hall for being drunk in the ring and because they would. They would have, like, an 18 pack on the way to the venue.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And which, I'll be completely honest with you, happens sometimes. And so Bischoff, I guess, goes, you know, we gotta find. You gotta go to rehab tomorrow.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And if you drink again, you're fired.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So he said, I guess they smarten up. The bartender give me Diet Coke, and Sting's at the other end of the bar. And they start mean mugging each other.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And Sting starts ordering whiskeys. Trying to go shot for shot with Scott Hall.
Che Darrena
Oh, wow.
Zach Amico
And they had to carry Sting back that night.
Che Darrena
That's.
Zach Amico
And Scott hall just walks up to Eric Bischoff, goes, diet Coke all night. Don't worry.
Che Darrena
That's so funny to him. Like that dude. Dude you don't even know.
Zach Amico
Just completely. Another man on the way out.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah. Just be like, I don't give a dude. Why not?
Doug Yuram
That's.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
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Doug Yuram
Sting always seem, and I could be wrong, you probably know, Sting always seemed like a goody two shoes.
Zach Amico
I think he's. I think he's got a connection with the Lord.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. Oh, now he does.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Well, I think he did. He did pretty early.
Doug Yuram
Oh, so it's not like the Shawn Michaels where he was completely up for years.
Zach Amico
Yeah. As Jim Cornette, as Jim Cornette said, you ever notice people that find Jesus used to be real.
Doug Yuram
He's got another good quote. He goes, well, when nobody Else wants to talk to you, who do you go to? You talk to God. And I was like, fucking perfect.
Zach Amico
When you're.
Che Darrena
You're out and you're like. Didn't like, someone told me that Rogan is becoming Christian or something like that.
Doug Yuram
Oh, yeah, I read that on Instagram.
Zach Amico
I would know, but, I mean, what else is left?
Che Darrena
Yeah, Yeah, I guess that's it. You do the full circle. You, like. You went. He was like, doing dmt, whatever, looking for sasquatches podcast. And then it's like, okay, now we're back to. We go back to God.
Doug Yuram
Imagine doing DMT at church.
Che Darrena
Yeah, I think that'd be. I think there should be a church of DMT there. Probably.
Zach Amico
There is.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I'm sure it's a cult.
Che Darrena
Yeah, dude, that's the thing with any type of. You get into more. You get into crazy psychedelics. Go. You can really fucking. You could screw some people over here.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, yeah.
Che Darrena
Do a little mushroom therapy and then get everyone to give you their shoes. Then you're cooking. Yeah. Get a good cult going.
Zach Amico
Well, speaking of people that might be off their rocker, Britney Spears warned by authorities after being difficult and smoking a cigarette on a plane.
Doug Yuram
Who's Britney Spears?
Zach Amico
That's some white people. Who. Wait, what?
Doug Yuram
That's an airplane for white people. That.
Zach Amico
What's an airplane? It flies through the sky.
Che Darrena
Come on now.
Doug Yuram
No such thing as airplane.
Zach Amico
I ain't never seen none of them airplane.
Doug Yuram
White people use that term. Transportation.
Zach Amico
Racist ass. Zach amico. All right, Shannon, tell us about it.
Shannon
So she said. She claims that this whole.
Zach Amico
Who's she?
Shannon
Is it a girl? So she said that.
Doug Yuram
What spear she throw?
Zach Amico
Jesus.
Shannon
She said that they were being shitty to her on the plane, that they put her in the back of the plane and that they were just over, like, kind of being shitty to her. And then she said that a friend, like, put the cigarette in her mouth and went to light it. And so she was excited. She's like, oh, this is one of those planes where you can smoke.
Zach Amico
This has no concept. Oh, my. This is. It's so funny to watch all these people advocate for her.
Che Darrena
Yeah. And she's gone.
Zach Amico
That she needs that. What was it called the. That she had?
Shannon
The Asperger Conservatory.
Zach Amico
Yes, the conservative. The conservatorship. And the second they let this bitch loose, everyone was like, smoking. Yeah, it was for the best.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. Now, that's the question I've always asked. No, like, is it because of that? She's fucked up. Like, she's completely batshit. Crazy or was she like that? All right. And that's why they see. I don't know.
Che Darrena
I think you just let her loose. Who gives a fuck when she smokes on a couple planes? She fucking what? She goes, has a baby, whatever. Let her just fucking let him back up.
Doug Yuram
Dancing.
Zach Amico
Dude, there's a bunch of dances with knives.
Che Darrena
Yeah. There's, like, crackheads in trailer parks. No one's fucking got control over them. Just let her loose.
Doug Yuram
That's what she would be if she wasn't Britney Spears. Yeah, maybe she would be just a crackhead in a fucking trailer park.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah, that's a possibility. Yeah. I think she got molested a bunch, though, too.
Zach Amico
Oh, really?
Che Darrena
Yeah, all these Disney kids, they got molested like crazy, dude. These Nickelodeon kids, that's how you got in. They're molesting the shit.
Zach Amico
Blood in, blood out.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Butt in, butt out.
Che Darrena
Yeah. So I think they. She just got so molested that now she's all broken and smoking on planes. It's like, if anything, this is. This is a great result of someone who got super molested.
Zach Amico
So what happened? The cops met her on the tarmac or.
Shannon
Yes. After the plane landed, they. They met up with her, and at first she thought that they were just greeting her because she's a super celebrity. And then she realized that they were yelling at her for smoking on the plane, but she just got a warning. She also claims that she had. I can't imagine this to be true, but she claimed the first time she had vodka was on this flight. And she said, I swear, I felt so. It made her feel so clear and smart.
Che Darrena
It did.
Doug Yuram
Brittany called Miracle Water.
Che Darrena
We need some quote. Like a book of quotes from her post. Like, freedom. Just all the. All her thoughts.
Zach Amico
I've never had vodka. Be like, you know what? This makes me smart.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It makes me a lot of things.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I. I enjoy a cocktail. I have never gone. This makes me smarter.
Che Darrena
I look back on it, go, yo, I've been. I was the brightest ever. Now she's gonna be a full alcoholic for.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, for sure.
Zach Amico
All right.
Doug Yuram
But doesn't she have enough money to fly private, though? Am I wrong or is all of her money?
Che Darrena
I don't know.
Zach Amico
My assumption would be she thought she could smoke because she's never been told no before.
Che Darrena
Okay, yeah, maybe she is. Has been smoking on, like, private jets and.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, probably.
Che Darrena
So maybe that's it. She, like, her world is warped big time. Yes. I mean, she's been famous since, what, 16? Yeah, yeah.
Doug Yuram
She got breast implants when she was 16. So, yeah, you know, no way. Was touched by a lot of people. What 16 year old gets breast implants?
Che Darrena
She's got breast implants at 16?
Doug Yuram
Yeah, remember, like, that all came out, like after she made. That was that song, the big hit. Her first Hit Me baby.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
And then, like, there were all those rumors going around that she got breast implant and then it was confirmed those are fake tits and she was 16 when she got them.
Zach Amico
Wow.
Che Darrena
Yeah, that's.
Doug Yuram
Get out of the trailer park.
Zach Amico
Well, it says Britney Spears has never publicly confirmed or denied having breast implants.
Doug Yuram
Instagram.
Zach Amico
She does mention considering plastic surgery, but she has not specified. Whether this includes breast implants is important. Note the celebrities who face intense scrutiny and speculation about their bodies, which can be invasive and disrespectful. What up? What? What?
Doug Yuram
God damn it, man.
Zach Amico
All right, you want to get. You guys want to look at some. Some sluts, I believe.
Doug Yuram
Leaving that lie, Shannon. God damn.
Zach Amico
All right, so I found an Instagram. Pretty psyched on it.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Prison Connect.
Che Darrena
Oh, dude, I love Prison Connect. Dude, I love Prison Connect.
Shannon
By the way, this distracted me for way too long this morning. I'm gonna be on this page for a long time.
Zach Amico
So let's take a. Let's take a little lookski, take a.
Che Darrena
Peek at some sluts.
Doug Yuram
Hopefully some saggy tits.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Shannon
Oh, there's more now than even when I was on this.
Doug Yuram
What the hell is that on the left?
Shannon
Dude, it's a dude.
Doug Yuram
That's a Dominican, man.
Shannon
I think it is a guy.
Zach Amico
Oh, I thought. I thought it was one of the kitchen women. I thought that was like the lesbian they put in the kitchen to, like, peel people. Potato.
Shannon
I can play. Do you want to play his thing?
Doug Yuram
Yeah, go ahead. Hey, shout out Prison Connect. Encouraging people to tap in and invest in time and love. To those locked down going through trials and tribulations. I'm a firm believer in progress. Hey, shout out to those locked down. I'm inspiring you to indulge yourself in something righteous. Keep your mind, body, spirit 100%. There's light at the end of this. It's all love.
Zach Amico
Hey.
Doug Yuram
Huh?
Che Darrena
Well, we'll rob you.
Doug Yuram
It's always all love.
Zach Amico
That guy will beat you to death with the butt of a gun.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Just to save a bullet.
Che Darrena
Yeah, dude.
Zach Amico
All right, so let's, let's. Let's give a little look.
Che Darrena
Summer here. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Hey, my name is summer. I'm 28 years old. I'm doing time in Kuna, Idaho. I'm looking for People to connect with and vibe with. I have 14 months hunts. I'm also a freak and I love to laugh. So if you. J.P. is.
Doug Yuram
No, she likes handcuffs. Am I right guys?
Zach Amico
All right, so my assumption.
Doug Yuram
I love how she's using a phone.
Zach Amico
Yeah. My assumption for this is these are that want money on their books.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Well.
Zach Amico
And they're seeing how many dudes they could. I don't. Nobody's looking for a guy. Maybe they're looking. If they got nobody at home, somebody's gonna pick them up and like get them on their feet.
Che Darrena
Dude. I bet because these have been getting more popular. A couple of these girls went viral off of this. I bet they started. The ones that went viral started getting fucking phone calls and people reaching out like crazy. And I think it's in benefit the correctional industry wants to do this because they get a cut. They're like, this is like onlyfans for prison.
Doug Yuram
Wait, do they get a cut?
Che Darrena
They get when you. Because you have to pay to talk to them.
Zach Amico
They.
Che Darrena
That some of that money goes to the fucking prison, dude.
Doug Yuram
So they're getting business.
Che Darrena
They're getting their fucking whatever 30% rip or whatever their manager fee is on this. And so they're. They're inclined to.
Zach Amico
They're getting all of it.
Che Darrena
I don't know if they get all of it. I think some of it might go to the check.
Zach Amico
I don't know if you're paying to talk to them.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I would assume the prison gets the money and they just get the phone call.
Che Darrena
They might. That might be it. That might be like getting the door.
Doug Yuram
At a comedy club.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
You get the money to talk and then they get it.
Zach Amico
And I would take a wild guess and say this is also to put shit on their books.
Che Darrena
What do you mean?
Zach Amico
Like. Yeah, get them honey buns and shit.
Che Darrena
Okay. Yeah.
Doug Yuram
And they're making an instant coffee.
Zach Amico
But like they're way up charging on that. Like. Yeah, that shit's like five or six times what it is on the street.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So I'm sure the person will love it if some. If some Indian dude buys some a hundred dollar case of razors or whatever. Yeah, that was 10 bucks.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Idea or whatever the fuck you. You know, I think stamps are the big amps. I heard stamps are big because you could trade them for anything.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
And like you need stamps to like mail.
Doug Yuram
Mail.
Zach Amico
Talk to your lawyers and shit.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Zach Amico
So stamps, I've heard stamps are like the big.
Che Darrena
That's the base.
Zach Amico
Stamps and soups.
Che Darrena
Stamps and soup.
Zach Amico
Sounds like ramen Robins. Ramen.
Che Darrena
Oh, ramen. Yeah, like the instant ramen.
Doug Yuram
Dude, would you ever see that guy who makes prison recipes?
Zach Amico
Yeah. Yeah.
Doug Yuram
The Max Amazing Hots.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And he's all. He's all tatted up.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Hey, Bunky.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, yeah. Make me a hot toddy.
Zach Amico
Yeah, Yeah.
Che Darrena
I got you.
Zach Amico
Friars. And they what, they make, like, fryers and.
Che Darrena
Yeah. They get like a. Like a hibachi thing kind of going. Yeah.
Zach Amico
I was watching. It was how they.
Doug Yuram
They pop sandal to press their meat.
Zach Amico
It was how they pop a outlet.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And they take a wire and a pencil and they put it in the outlet, and they make, like, a loop, a circuit, and they take another pencil, and you connect the lead from the two pencils, and you can, like, fire, you can use as a lighter.
Doug Yuram
Dude, that is fucking. It just showed. Prison just brings you back to caveman times. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Zach Amico
One guy figures it out, teaches the next guy.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So, yeah. Let's look at some more of these fucking pores.
Doug Yuram
That one's from Idaho.
Che Darrena
They're all. They're like, all from.
Zach Amico
They're all the hoe.
Shannon
There's a few. I saw a few Texas people.
Doug Yuram
Oh, show me the Texas.
Che Darrena
Who's this? Allison Nelson.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Shannon
Yeah, just two. It goes to one other picture.
Che Darrena
No body shots, though.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
That's suspicious.
Zach Amico
Some of them. Dude, the body shots. Some of them are great, where they're, like, trying to show their ass, but they're in their.
Che Darrena
Their jumpsuit.
Zach Amico
But they're in their jumpsuit, but they're, like, on their. They have their knees. Yes, of course we're gonna look at this. Brutal. Yep.
Shannon
Which one?
Zach Amico
You know who we're looking at?
Doug Yuram
Yeah, the one in the middle. Right there.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, that. That.
Zach Amico
That Tour. I'm at PWCC. I'm 37 years old.
Shannon
I love the outdoors, working out, music.
Che Darrena
Sucks to suck. Dude. Love the outdoors. You're not gonna get a lot of that.
Zach Amico
The second one was working out. I don't. This lady is a liar.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
My hobbies include yard time.
Shannon
My number is 115943.jpg.
Zach Amico
That's what it's called. That's how you said the money.
Doug Yuram
Jewish pay.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Let's look. I actually want to see the first. The first. She looks like the girl from Always Sunny that dates Frank. Oh, I don't remember Artemis.
Che Darrena
Artemis. I don't remember Artemis.
Doug Yuram
She has a face like the Saw doll.
Zach Amico
Hi, guys.
Doug Yuram
My name is Shipping.
Zach Amico
I'm currently serving time at Pocatello Women's Correctional Center. I have about 18 months left, and I'm just starting to get to know new people, catch a vibe. I'm here for a good time. Not a long time.
Doug Yuram
We know.
Zach Amico
Get to know me. Hit me up on jpay. My number is 128580. Yo, dude, the comments are all phone numbers.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Oh, we should call them.
Zach Amico
No, those are the dudes the dudes want to get.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, we should call the dudes and be like, are you here to talk to. And then just put a foot and just do a girl voice.
Zach Amico
Yeah. You'd have Shannon call. Yes.
Doug Yuram
Yes.
Zach Amico
I don't. I think there's a legal issue. We would have to tell them they're being recorded.
Doug Yuram
Damn.
Zach Amico
And then it was for a podcast.
Doug Yuram
I thought that was only for, like, regular radio.
Che Darrena
I think this is recorded because this is a prison.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. Say it real fast. You're being recorded anyway. Yeah, that's right. Because they think it's for prison. So they're going to be recorded anyway. So we could tell them.
Zach Amico
I'll make you guys a deal.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. Yeah.
Zach Amico
I'll. Shannon, can we look into the legality of that?
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And if it's completely kosher and above water, we will have Cherry and Doug back in a few weeks. And we'll have you call some of these, what I would assume are Indian men.
Doug Yuram
Definitely Indian jackers, because they're leaving there specifically.
Che Darrena
Jack.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Guys on chat roulette, they're like, yeah, Bob's in Virginia.
Zach Amico
As opposed to Muslims who are hijackers. If it's fine, we'll have Shannon call and see how much we can get them to promise to buy her.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
But we'll make sure that it's legal before we do. Is that cool, Shannon?
Shannon
Yes.
Zach Amico
All right, let's look at this dumper.
Che Darrena
Yeah, that went.
Doug Yuram
How did that get on there? I don't understand.
Zach Amico
That is pretty nice. Oh, first one was better.
Che Darrena
Was she in for what she do? We know?
Zach Amico
See, that's my.
Doug Yuram
Yeah. This one might be fake, though. How come nobody else has pictures like that?
Shannon
I don't think so. But she has her, like, JPEG stuff.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So here's my. Those might be pictures she has saved on a phone or something.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
They're not necessarily from prison, right?
Shannon
Yeah. Jorge is gonna look it up and see if we could find out what she did.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah. So here's my. I feel like they should have to say what they're in prison for.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know for sure. 100. We should definitely get a Breakdown. That's an important part of it. I want to know, like, is it aggravated assault?
Zach Amico
I want to know if it was a violent crime. I want to know if she was just caught up with the wrong.
Doug Yuram
But dude, diamond tattooed on her throat. She was definitely helping a dude hide a gun. Yeah, that's what that says to me. I feel like the more scandalous the picture is, the worse the crime she may have committed.
Che Darrena
Oh, yeah, dude, that. That chick. That chick will rob the out of you for sure.
Zach Amico
That girl drug you.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll end up like. You'll wake up and like, all your shit's gone, Your truck's gone, your PlayStation's gone. Dude, she would, like, break some shit just to fuck with you.
Zach Amico
Yeah, your door, your. Your lock is busted for no reason. She could have just walked out the door.
Che Darrena
Yeah, but she busted the lock just to be like, I want to inconvenience this guy.
Zach Amico
All right, let's look at another. I'm having a blast.
Doug Yuram
Stripper.
Shannon
She had to be this middle chick.
Zach Amico
Yeah, why not?
Doug Yuram
Yeah, she's a little roomy, but not big.
Zach Amico
Little roomy like you are a throwback human being if I've ever met one.
Che Darrena
Roomy is crazy.
Zach Amico
All right, let's go down. Let's. Let's try to get ones where they talk.
Che Darrena
Yeah, one of my buddy called the chick oblong one and it really.
Zach Amico
I want to see. I want to see this black girl with the green hair. Does she talk?
Doug Yuram
That's.
Zach Amico
That's a wild.
Doug Yuram
That's a stripper. That had to be.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah. No, they got to be like in the correction thing if we want to get them talking. Oh, like. Yeah, there we go. She's got a chat.
Doug Yuram
Not bad.
Zach Amico
Oh, they're not going to play.
Che Darrena
She's really selling it a little too.
Doug Yuram
Wait, so are the other girls that have just like regular pictures, are they not in the correctional?
Zach Amico
No, they're. They're in there. I think maybe they don't have access to the video chat.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they definitely did something up.
Zach Amico
Hi, my name is Hannah. I'm over here at Chilla. If you'd like to connect. Hit me up. Tracy Carnazo. I got arrested for. I got arrest. I got arrested for hiding Tim Dylan's money. All right, These are all pretty girls. I want to see him talk, though.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, there's something up with the ones that just. If they don't have access to the.
Zach Amico
All right, Chad, here's. Let's see this guy with the guitar.
Doug Yuram
That one's gotta see the guitar.
Shannon
I did already. Watch this.
Doug Yuram
Where do you get a guitar in.
Zach Amico
Prison with your new boyfriend? Soon as I shipped off.
Shannon
Ruined it.
Zach Amico
I know that you hooked up with them. Yes, I do. Hey there, Sancho. Here's to you. Pause. I don't can. How is there not a voice? Hey, hey. Shut the up. Turn that gay off.
Che Darrena
Dude. This guy. Is he singing about someone his ex girlfriend while he's in prison?
Doug Yuram
I think so.
Che Darrena
Oh my God. Dude. He must have not. He's been.
Doug Yuram
That's what he said, right? Like somebody else is, you know.
Che Darrena
Yeah. He said C. This goes to you.
Zach Amico
It's about the guy. That's him in prison.
Doug Yuram
Doesn't need a cilantro.
Zach Amico
Hey. Hey there Devontra. But yes. Play it now I need somebody new. So write to me and I'll write to you. Get to know each other on jpeg.
Doug Yuram
I didn't know you could be a tool in prison.
Che Darrena
No, I thought this kind of behavior in prison just gets you molested.
Doug Yuram
That's what I thought.
Che Darrena
Yeah. And like beat up.
Zach Amico
Yeah. That's okay in prison. I mean, I'm sure there's some girl that works on somebody. It ain't Shannon.
Shannon
No, I hate that.
Doug Yuram
You hate guys with guitars.
Shannon
No, I thought I got excited when I saw it and then I played it. I was like, this is.
Zach Amico
Gonna do.
Shannon
Like a nice singer songwriter.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Let's see one more trick before we finish the silliness.
Doug Yuram
That's a dude. To the. To the right.
Che Darrena
You think that's a dude?
Doug Yuram
Yeah, up top.
Shannon
Oh yeah. That's not. She's not going to talk there.
Doug Yuram
There is a video though. Oh wait, it's just a montage.
Zach Amico
Any other. Any other talkers?
Shannon
I feel like these just look like.
Zach Amico
Oh, there we go. Marilyn Manson, Samantha Samino. I'm 31 years old.
Che Darrena
Oh, it's a rough 31.
Zach Amico
Really like to be posted to get to know people or someone. My IDC number is 130 403. I'm at PWCC. I'd like to give a shout out to prison. Connect to favorite on there. And also I have about 90 days left. Thank you. See, I feel like this is just a hustle.
Doug Yuram
That was meth.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I feel like this is a hustle. Yeah, this is. How many dudes can I get sending me. Yeah, how many dudes can I say I need a thousand dollars when I get out to like pay my security deposit.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I'm gonna run like seven dudes.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Charges up.
Che Darrena
Yeah. No, this is.
Zach Amico
This Is a hustle.
Che Darrena
It's a racket on, like, they're doing rackets on the dudes. The prison's doing a racket on them because the dudes are paying them. Everyone's making money except for the dudes, which is usually how this works.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, that's pretty much only fans, but in prison.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah.
Doug Yuram
Did one of you say that already?
Zach Amico
No, no, no.
Shannon
I found one more pretty girl with a video, if you want to see.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah, of course. Hey, I'm Jess.
Che Darrena
I'm 36 and I fuck on the first date.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Che Darrena
So if you want to hit me.
Zach Amico
Up on jpay, my number is 159791. And shout out to Prison Connect.
Doug Yuram
What's on her head? Is that a tattoo?
Shannon
Tattoos.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
All right.
Che Darrena
That tits.
Zach Amico
That girl knows her business. That. That's an elite level.
Che Darrena
Yeah, see, she was working it, like, immediately.
Zach Amico
That's the LeBron of prison connect right there. She is doing good in the neighborhood.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah.
Shannon
One more. Just one more. Sorry.
Doug Yuram
Go ahead.
Zach Amico
Marcelo Lopez. My number is 118340, Mario Connect. Just looking for a daddy who's hungry.
Doug Yuram
Because I'm hungry too, for black, apparently.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
She'S one of those snicker lovers.
Che Darrena
Dude. She was trying really hard to be hot and she just didn't have it.
Zach Amico
She wasn't in there. You know what, though?
Doug Yuram
Looks sexier with a banana, but they probably didn't have any in the cabinet.
Che Darrena
I had to get fruit in there. Yeah, they don't want. You get vitamins. They don't want you to get vitamins in there. No, you get too worked up.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, that's probably.
Zach Amico
At least the cholo thing works for me sometimes.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Oh, you like a cholo?
Zach Amico
I think it's an extension of my like of clowns.
Che Darrena
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
That's very true.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I feel like it's a lateral move sometimes.
Che Darrena
How do you feel about drag queens?
Zach Amico
Not really. No, not. Not very frequently.
Che Darrena
Because I was like, I'm thinking clown.
Zach Amico
Burlesque Checks.
Che Darrena
Yes, burlesque. Oh. Every time I see burlesque, I go, this fucking sucks. But I don't even want to look at your tits. You're doing some dumbass dance, dude. There's a reason this art form died.
Zach Amico
The balloon one's pretty fun.
Che Darrena
I haven't seen the balloon one.
Zach Amico
They're also come out in like a G string and pasties, but they'll have. No, they'll have a whole shitload of balloons on them. Oh, and they pop them, and they pop them slow.
Doug Yuram
Really?
Zach Amico
And so by the end, they're up there naked.
Doug Yuram
Can you pop them by throwing darts at them like a carnival?
Che Darrena
Let me pop them.
Doug Yuram
Just want a stuffed monkey.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Get her right in the forehead.
Zach Amico
Yeah. This.
Doug Yuram
Oh, you hit her throat. Oh, she's not naked, though. Turn this off.
Zach Amico
She is at the end. That's the thing that's a bitch about these is you gotta just fast forward to the end.
Doug Yuram
This feels like this would be on, like a Maury Povich show to scare the shit out of a kid that hates balloons.
Che Darrena
See, under balloons there's naked women. See, it's just this part where they're doing all this. Like, she's standing on a chair and shit. I'm like, get outta here.
Zach Amico
I've seen some cool ones. I did Coney island freak show a few times.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
I did stand up.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
But there was a girl that used to walk up a ladder of machetes.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
And that was pretty sick.
Che Darrena
That's a cool show.
Doug Yuram
Like, with the sharp part facing up.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was a bad bitch. She also. She did the bed of nails. And then she would bring a guy up and give him a lap dance on a bed of nails. Wow. Wow.
Che Darrena
Okay. See, that is cool, because that's like a freak show kind of thing.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah.
Che Darrena
I'm going for the freak aspect of it, dude. Joanna angel, you know Joanna, right? She told me she went to this porn convention in Helsinki, which, like, years ago. This is in, like, 2015 or 2010 or something like that.
Zach Amico
Yeah. When she was in her early 30s.
Che Darrena
Yeah, yeah. And she. She was talking about how it was the most insane thing because porn conventions in America, you like. Like, can't be completely naked there. They would do live shows and there was, like, a increase of, like, the craziness and the. She was the headliner. The person who went out before her was a dude dressed as Jesus getting pegged by a lady dressed as the devil. And as she's pegging this dude, she. That. She's eating the Bible. Oh, my God. And that was their thing they would do every night. Dude. Yeah.
Doug Yuram
That is.
Zach Amico
You know what? At a certain point you're like, not tonight.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, there's a day you don't wanna go to work. There's a day you're like, oh, I gotta eat another Bible.
Che Darrena
I gotta eat the Bible again. What do you mean?
Doug Yuram
There's a guy taking it up the ass with a rubber dick and you're worried about the Bible being. Imagine that guy like, oh, God damn.
Zach Amico
He putting the jeans. He's straightening the crown of coins like the rest. You ever seen a one legged dog? Then you seen me Lubin up his asshole backstage. You seen me.
Doug Yuram
No.
Che Darrena
You gotta get tired of that after a while.
Zach Amico
I did a lot. I worked on a Joanna live show.
Che Darrena
Oh, really?
Zach Amico
Yeah, we did the Triple Exorcist live.
Che Darrena
What's that?
Zach Amico
So she did a. She did a couple horror porns. Yeah, my buddy Doug Dearly departed. Doug Zachman directed them.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And we did a live version of Triple Exorcist. So it was. It was kind of a live sex show, but no penetration.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
Mixed with a gwar show.
Che Darrena
Oh, that actually sounds so.
Doug Yuram
Holy shit.
Che Darrena
A lot of puking and blood and shit.
Zach Amico
But it was the two chicks from the movie and Tommy Pigeon, the guy from the movie.
Che Darrena
Oh, really?
Zach Amico
Who's my boy? Yeah, me and Tommy go way back. He used to do sketch comedy. And he is the man and says, we built this bed and it had holes in it. Then we had fire extinguishers full of fake blood and fake green shit. Oh, wow. And Joanna would like fake masturbate with a cross over it and then it would shoot green shit all over the. It would look like she squirted it. Like she would put her hand over the hole and then lift her fingers.
Che Darrena
And it would look like she was squirting the green.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And she was shooting green everywhere. And then there was people under the bed. So, like levitate and do all the Exorcist shit. Yeah, it was super fun. Sounds sick as there's a trailer for the XX Exorcist. I don't know if it still exists because I know at one point they had made a soft core edit of it to sell it. Hot Topic.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And it was all three of the horror porns. Because it was.
Doug Yuram
But already is soft core, though, technically.
Zach Amico
No, no, the real movie, the actual Triple X, just was hardcore porn.
Doug Yuram
Like penetration.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Doug Yuram
Oh, oh. So the one that you helped out.
Zach Amico
That was the live show version of it toured with.
Che Darrena
Yeah, the parody.
Zach Amico
They would do like. They would do like goth clubs or like Halloween parties.
Doug Yuram
I see what you mean.
Zach Amico
But yeah, no, they were like full porns. Yeah, it was Repenetrator, Triple Exorcist and Evil Head.
Doug Yuram
Repenetrator. Sounds like a good one.
Zach Amico
Repenetrator is excellent and was the movie. My sophomore year of college. Roommates had to have a talk with me to please stop leaving in the PlayStation.
Che Darrena
Oh, yeah, you left in the PlayStation. Were you jerking off to Repenetrator? Was a jerk offable.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
Yeah, majorly.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
And I believe I might have had company.
Che Darrena
Oh, you brought someone over to watch Repenetrator.
Zach Amico
I believe a lady watched it with me. As a kinky thing. As a kinky thing. However, then we moved into my room, left it in the DVD, played the PlayStation running.
Che Darrena
So people came in, and I think.
Zach Amico
We just turned off the tv.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then I think one of my more human roommates came home with his chick. We're like, let's play some Marvel versus Capcom.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Gonna take you for a ride.
Che Darrena
Yes.
Zach Amico
And turned on the tv and it was repenetrated. And his. His lady friend was none too pleased with his living situation.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Who's watching this? Yeah, he's a cool guy.
Doug Yuram
You had to probably have seen him beg. Like, that was not me.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Like. Yeah, she thinks it's a lie. Like, that was him. I swear to God. Why would I watch that?
Che Darrena
You're like, pseudo blocking him. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Did you find it?
Shannon
So this is a reaction video, and I'm not sure that this is the right thing, but.
Zach Amico
Yeah, no, that is. That is triple exercise. We don't have to listen to these.
Doug Yuram
Guys talk about it that live.
Zach Amico
Yeah, that's Tommy Pistol. I want to say is that. That might be Reagan. Reese is the other chick. This goes back to when I actually knew porn star names.
Doug Yuram
This one. Porn had a plot.
Zach Amico
Dude, this is. These were like, 40 minutes long. Yeah, this is a good piece.
Doug Yuram
Like this actually a movie.
Zach Amico
This is a psyched. I. My buddy that directed Repenetrator got the actual reanimator guys to sign a copy of.
Che Darrena
Wow, that's fucking great.
Zach Amico
What a huge cock this guy has. What a big, beautiful. And he's a slight man.
Che Darrena
Oh, that's great. What did they use to make the.
Zach Amico
Slime Pea soup in this? That's the same as blood, which is great. It's taro syrup and that shit.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
Yeah, my buddy Doug made all these. And then if you remember, re penetrator, I guess I could say he's out of comedy. Do you get Doug? The makeup on Repenetrator was Josh. Remember my old buddy Josh from Bar None?
Doug Yuram
He did that?
Zach Amico
He used to do makeup?
Doug Yuram
Yeah. Get the fuck out.
Zach Amico
He did Joanna's makeup on that? Yeah. Or he helped Doug do it.
Doug Yuram
How come he never mentioned that ever?
Zach Amico
Because his chick was always around.
Doug Yuram
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
His wife, who doesn't let him do comedy. Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Dude, that story was fucking. After he got married, he just stopped.
Zach Amico
Doing stage no, they were married for a while, but she. She gave him an ultimatum.
Che Darrena
Oh, really?
Zach Amico
Really? It was my best friend. It was the guy I started comedy with.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And. Yeah. His. His. He had an arrangement.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Where his chick got up. She had a corporate job.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
He would work at Halloween Adventure, some bartending gigs, but she did heavy lifting financially.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah. So he. And, I mean, he was a husband. Like, he. It was in the contract. Like, he gets up and makes breakfast every day. He sends her to work. He takes care of everything.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And eventually, the longer we started doing it, she started cutting the comedy nights. And then one night when we were all at Bar none, my. The woman that would become my wife was there, and she got this girl, got drunk and was like, don't you hate being a comedy wife? I mean, they're just out having fun with their friends every night, and we're stuck in the fucking house.
Che Darrena
Why would you be. If he's. Especially if he's, like, taking care of, like, you, like, like doing all the husband shit, making food, doing all that stuff. What, he's not allowed to go and have fun? Like, why does that upset you that he's out having a good time?
Doug Yuram
Because it becomes, like, a resentful thing.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Like, your job is to do makeup and it's enjoyable and it's fun.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
While the other person hates their job. Yeah. Hates their job. Like, this is miserable. And anytime you smile as you're working.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Hate it. And it's like, well, fuck you. You chose your goddamn path. Go fuck yourself. And you knew who I was when you married me.
Che Darrena
Yeah. That's crazy.
Zach Amico
And I was in a very awkward position because I went to high school with that girl.
Che Darrena
Oh, wow. So, okay, so was he making, like, a living off of comedy?
Zach Amico
No. No. We were baby cop. We weren't making dick.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So we were still doing Mike's.
Che Darrena
This is, like, year two, year one.
Zach Amico
He was in it longer than me. He might have been in year six.
Doug Yuram
Well, that's what happened, why I started doing that show. Because he quit.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
With Samantha.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he quit. And then Samantha asked me to do it with her.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
And that was why. Because his wife.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And then he put a foot down. The first. The first. Because he would do sketches, too.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And the first straw that. When I started to see everything unravel.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Was he had a whole closet full of outfits for sketches.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So if you needed anything. Because he worked at Halloween Adventure.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he would just get overstock.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So if you needed a doctor costume, if you needed a fucking feather boa, everything. He just had it labeled in a closet.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And she decided she wanted that closet, and she made him throw it all out. The whole. I mean, are they still together? Yeah. I think he works for her family now.
Doug Yuram
Oh, that's the worst.
Zach Amico
And I think he got a job. He's my buddy. I check in with him sometimes.
Che Darrena
How's he doing?
Zach Amico
I know he had to have a talk with HR at his job for making jokes about killing himself, but that was years ago. I talked to him every once in a while, man. Don't forget, it was his path.
Doug Yuram
This is HR for your family company.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Yeah.
Doug Yuram
So they're like, you know, your daughter's.
Zach Amico
And I will say, I. He also did move originally because his wife's father was sick.
Che Darrena
Okay.
Zach Amico
And he was helping take care of him.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So it was a selfless thing when he moved. Initially.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
But yeah, he's just out and being a dude.
Che Darrena
Yeah, dude.
Zach Amico
But we forget that. You know, there are people we started with that, like, dropped off.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Oh, dude, there's some people where I'm like, like, not. Not like these stories where you're like, yo, he was so good. I really like this guy. It's the.
Zach Amico
I never said that. Okay, I love you.
Che Darrena
But with the weirdos. The weirdos, the freaks. I wish some of them. I wish I could just have, like a. I just want to see into your life sometimes. Dude.
Zach Amico
Dude. You know who. Dude, my chick texted me the other. Yeah. My wife texted me the other day and goes, look who's on the train with me. Yeah, Jolly Cat was on the train.
Doug Yuram
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
Shannon, you remember Jolly Cat.
Shannon
Oh, that guy was accosted by him in Life before I was here years and years and years ago.
Zach Amico
So Jolly Cat.
Doug Yuram
He's a cunt, Is a meth addict.
Zach Amico
Not mentally. Well, yeah. Person who I guess was around comedy.
Doug Yuram
Well, he used to do bringer shows at Broadway and like that. When I first started, I remember seeing him and he always had, like, these two, like, foreign girls that almost look like they were indentured slaves. Like, introduce him on stage and they can never remember the lines. And I watched him in the green room flip the fuck out on these girls one time.
Zach Amico
Like, you don't know your fucking lines. Get your fucking head out of your ass.
Doug Yuram
And they have just been in the country for 10 minutes.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
The fuck did they know?
Zach Amico
So Jolly Cat definitely is. There's mentally ill. Yeah. And I would say the term is not mentally Deficient.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
But the reality of it is. Yes, he is. He ain't operating on all cylinders.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he would go on stage with, like, a headset and a boombox, but he also would be on the subway all the time doing his act.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Oh, to what? Just strangers? Like, with a mic or something.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Doug Yuram
And he dressed up a bunny suit.
Zach Amico
He would dress up as a body. He had a music video.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he played the stand one night.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Somebody booked him on the late show after skanks at the first stand.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And, yeah, he was mentally ill, and I watched it. So he's also just one of those New York people you see.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I've seen him on more than one occasion just trying so hard to get pussy.
Che Darrena
Wow.
Zach Amico
And bombing on the track.
Che Darrena
I mean, like, to strange. Like, trying to fucking just sit next to a girl. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And start the rap. But, like, his rap would be about, like, God.
Che Darrena
Oh, he's, like, actually rapping.
Zach Amico
No, no, no. Like, his, like.
Che Darrena
Oh, he's okay.
Zach Amico
His game.
Che Darrena
Yeah. Yeah.
Zach Amico
God. He's like, I don't. I remember one time he's like, I don't believe in dating. I believe in court. I want to court you. I want to take. And then he was trying to get her number so bad. She's like, I don't. I. I can't.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
He's like, just give me your phone. And she's like, my phone's dead.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he's like, just tell me. And she's like, I don't remember it. He's like, we'll get a charger. He would not. It came to the point where, like, strangers on the train. Not me, because. Yeah, her.
Doug Yuram
Yeah.
Zach Amico
We're, like, sitting in between them. Because then he started, like, screaming.
Shannon
I had this situation happen with him.
Zach Amico
Shannon.
Che Darrena
Oh, Shannon, tell us your job.
Zach Amico
But before Shannon does it, I just need this. The ending of it was so funny. A bunch of dudes started fucking with him.
Che Darrena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And making fun of him so that he ran off the train, ran back to yell at them. And as he was running off the train, his backpack got caught between the closing doors, and just his hands and feet were in the air and he was screaming, jesus.
Che Darrena
Can I see a picture of this guy?
Doug Yuram
I need to see this YouTube video.
Zach Amico
Yeah, he's got a bunch. But, Shannon, tell us your.
Shannon
Okay. I do have a YouTube video. I just don't know that I want to necessarily promote him.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shannon
But. But I do have the video. So I was on a bus going into Staten Island. I Was with a friend of mine. We haven't seen each other in a while, so we're just kind of, like, bullshitting, catching up with each other. And I see that this guy is, like, very, like, up in our conversation the whole time. As soon as we hit the little thingy that we're going to get off at the next. Next stop, he gets up right at that moment, walks over, and he's like, hey, I think you're beautiful. Whatever. Maybe you can check out my music on MySpace. This is, like, 15 years ago. He's like, maybe you can check out my music on. On MySpace. Let me give you my business card. He goes back to his stuff, like, book bag and all this bunch of. And then rips a piece of paper, like, off of a spiral notebook, like, rips it off, writes his face, his MySpace, and then gives it to me. I'm like, yeah, totally. Check it out. Fine. So I spend the whole day in Staten Island. This is like, maybe 10 hours later. We're taking the bus back to Brooklyn. This guy is on the bus again. It was pouring, raining out. So we, like, run onto the bus. We sit down. We're just, like, getting the rain off of us. And then he walks over. And I'm like, oh. He's like, do you still have that paper that I gave you before? I was like, no, I probably left it at the other house. He's like, oh, but I want to see it. I was like, I don't have it. And he starts to lose his mind. He said, he spit at me. He threw his book bag in the air. He starts running around the bus. The bus driver pulls the bus over.
Zach Amico
This all sounds very accurate.
Shannon
Me and my friend run into. It was a Pizza Hut or a Domino's. It was, like, right there. So we run into there. They locked the door. They called the cops. He punches the glass, shatters the glass, and then ran away. So they had to call a cop to, like, write down an incident report for the bus and then for the broken window at the Pizza Hut, whatever. But I couldn't actually file anything because he didn't touch me. So. Yeah, I know. It's at the. They wouldn't. They wouldn't do anything. And I have seen him a few times after then on the train and on the bus, and he, like, starts all over again. Like, he doesn't recognize me. He's like, oh, you're beautiful. Whatever. And then this guy loves me again.
Zach Amico
Really? Nothing. Retards love pussy. Yeah. And this guy just. It's his day yeah, that's his day. That's what he does.
Che Darrena
Dude, dude, that's crazy. I've never heard of this freak show before. Okay, we don't have to show him on the thing because obviously. Yeah, you don't want to promote it.
Zach Amico
We'll do it.
Che Darrena
I want to see this.
Zach Amico
We'll see it. We're going to wrap up now. We're going to watch it after if people want to look him up. YouTube. The Jolly Cat. Yeah, he's got a song called Waddle Like Duck. I don't want to play it on here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Doug Yuram
Shakes fucking Maracas. He wears a bunny hat like. You ever see Bob's Burgers. The little kid that wears the bunny hat, he walks around wearing that.
Che Darrena
No, I would have. I wouldn't know. If I saw him, I wouldn't know.
Zach Amico
All right, so we're going to wrap it up here. Let's do plugs. Real quick. Chase, what do you want to promote?
Che Darrena
You can find me on all platforms at Che D Arena, my tour dates. I'm going to be in T. Texas, actually, this weekend. And then we got Montreal, Skank Fest, North Carolina. A bunch of other shits on there. Check out my podcast, Dark Holes with Che Durena, where we look at weird Internet wormholes. This week we're looking at King Charles the dog.
Zach Amico
Yeah, very fun dog.
Doug Yuram
I'll be in the Ithaca Comedy Festival this Saturday, so come out there if you're gonna be there. I'll be at the Dojo of comedy on, I think, Wednesday, the first Wednesday in June, and then follow me on Instagram at thedougurum.
Zach Amico
Fantastic. Go to Punchup Live Zachamico for my dates. And if you love the show, go to gastral.com today. Use the promo code ZOO. You get a dollar fifty off a month. You get episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the archives of thousands of episodes of Real ass podcasts, Legion of Skanks, all your favorite shows, and get a little smooch from me if you see me out in public. And thank you so much for tuning in. We really appreciate you. We're back on our schedule. We're not gonna miss a goddamn episode while I'm on the road because I.
Che Darrena
Fucking love you guys.
Zach Amico
Okay? All right, so we'll catch you again on Wednesday here on Zach Amico's Morning Zoo. Bye bye. Fun's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco. Chug it down just like your favorite obese clown. Grab a coffee and join the. It's a Miko morning, too. It's a Miko morning.
Zac Amico's Morning Zoo - Episode 0013: Che Durena and Doug Uram
Release Date: May 30, 2025
Hosted by Zac Amico, Episode 0013 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo delves into a whirlwind of humor, pop culture critiques, and candid conversations with guests Che Durena and Doug Uram. The episode is a vibrant tapestry of edgy jokes, personal anecdotes, and lively discussions that embody the show's chaotic and unhinged spirit.
Zac Amico kicks off the show with his characteristic high-energy banter, expressing excitement about a recent event with the Insane Clown Posse and JCW. He introduces his guests, Doug Yuram from the "No Offense with Doug Yuram" podcast and Che Durena from the "Dark Holes" podcast, highlighting their dynamic presence on the show.
Notable Quote:
The conversation takes a humorous turn as the trio pokes fun at Shannon's long-held breast implants, joking about their age and maintenance. The guests engage in playful mockery, illustrating the show's penchant for irreverent humor.
Notable Quotes:
Zac shares a viral video of a woman on a plane wearing a low-cut shirt, sparking a discussion on potential OnlyFans promotion and the object's portrayal in public spaces. The guests speculate humorously about the woman's intentions and the video's authenticity.
Notable Quotes:
The guests transition to discussing the "Final Destination" movie franchise, analyzing its intricate and often gruesome death sequences. They appreciate the series' ability to creatively depict death as an inevitable, almost mechanical force, comparing it to a "Rube Goldberg machine."
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to controversial films like "Faces of Death" and "Traces of Death," where the guests discuss the authenticity and ethical implications of showing real violence and death on screen. They express their disgust and fascination with the graphic content, citing specific scenes that blurs the line between reality and fabrication.
Notable Quotes:
In an intriguing segment, the hosts explore "Prison Connect," a platform where inmates can connect with the outside world. They browse through profiles of inmates like Summer and Hannah, assessing the authenticity of their intentions and the potential for scams. The discussion reveals the complexities and moral ambiguities of such platforms, highlighting both the inmates' desires for connection and the possible exploitation involved.
Notable Quotes:
Zac shares personal stories about his experiences in comedy, including collaborations on live shows and the challenges of maintaining a balance between personal life and professional commitments. The guests contribute by recounting their own encounters with eccentric performers like Jolly Cat, illustrating the unpredictable nature of the entertainment industry.
Notable Quotes:
As the episode nears its end, the hosts switch back to promotional segments, encouraging listeners to follow their respective projects and attend upcoming events. Zac also promotes exclusive content available through subscriptions, ensuring that dedicated fans have access to uncensored and early episodes.
Notable Quotes:
Edgy Humor and Irreverence: The episode is marked by its unapologetically edgy humor, often treading into controversial and offensive territory to entertain listeners.
Pop Culture Critique: Detailed analysis of popular franchises like "Final Destination" showcases the hosts' deep engagement with horror cinema and its thematic nuances.
Exploration of Dark Themes: Discussions about "Faces of Death," "Traces of Death," and "Prison Connect" reveal a fascination with the macabre and the ethical dilemmas surrounding shock-value media.
Personal Stories and Relatability: The guests share personal anecdotes that add depth to the conversation, fostering a sense of camaraderie and relatability among listeners.
Interactive and Promotional Elements: The episode maintains engagement through direct shout-outs, promotional plugs, and interactive segments like exploring "Prison Connect," blending entertainment with self-promotion seamlessly.
Conclusion:
Episode 0013 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo delivers an unfiltered mix of humor, dark discussions, and personal stories that cater to listeners seeking unconventional and bold content. With guests Che Durena and Doug Uram, the show traverses through topics ranging from pop culture critiques to the intricacies of prison connection platforms, all while maintaining its hallmark chaotic and entertaining style.