0014. Danny Polishchuk and Doug Uram

Summary

Episode 0014: Danny Polishchuk and Doug Uram on The Luis and Zac Show

Release Date: November 28, 2024

Introduction

In the fourteenth episode of The Luis and Zac Show, hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico bring on guests Danny Polishchuk and Doug Uram for an engaging and humorous discussion. The episode navigates through a variety of topics, including online harassment, personal dental woes, the legitimacy of service animals, near-death experiences, the evolution of video games, and reflections on pro wrestling's golden era.

---

Handling Online Hate

The episode opens with Luis addressing offensive comments from the show's live chat. Around [01:44], Luis confronts hateful remarks directed at him, saying:

• Luis J. Gomez ([01:46]-[01:58]): "Porchmonkey369 says Lewis is the N word. Chinkmaster555 says I hope baby James gets AIDS from all the gay sex he has."

This segment underscores the show's willingness to tackle uncomfortable and controversial topics head-on, setting the tone for an unfiltered conversation.

---

Oral Hygiene and Dental Experiences

At [04:14], the conversation shifts to personal dental hygiene struggles:

• Luis J. Gomez ([04:16]): "I have beef jerky in my tooth right now. It's kind of bugging me."

This lighthearted discussion evolves into frustrations with water picks and dental practices:

• Doug Uram ([04:58]): "I hate them… When they go underneath the tooth and they hit the root."

• Luis J. Gomez ([04:56]-[05:04]): Explains the complexities of using water picks and shares his experiences with improving oral hygiene techniques.

The hosts humorously compare dental tools to weapons, highlighting their annoyance with certain dental practices.

---

Service Animals vs. Emotional Support Animals

A significant portion of the episode (starting around [10:16]) delves into the contentious topic of service animals versus emotional support animals. Luis discusses a viral video featuring a student bringing a donkey on a school trip:

• Luis J. Gomez ([10:19]-[13:05]): "I don't buy that these kids need their dog... I don't buy they need it in the... I just have my reaction every time I see anybody, whether it's a service animal, emotional support."

The guests debate the legitimacy of such practices, expressing skepticism over the misuse of service animals and emphasizing the distinction between trained service dogs and easily procurable emotional support animals. This leads to a humorous yet critical examination of how some individuals might exploit these classifications for personal convenience.

---

Near-Death Experiences

The hosts and guests share personal anecdotes about near-death experiences, adding depth to the comedic narrative:

• Doug Uram ([26:09]-[27:34]): Recounts an encounter with a bear that charged him twice, expressing immense fear and the adrenaline rush of such a situation.

• Zach Amico ([30:18]-[31:17]): Describes a terrifying near-miss car accident with an Uber driver, leading to an emotional and shared moment of vulnerability.

These stories highlight the hosts' ability to balance humor with genuine reflections on life-threatening situations.

---

Video Clip Discussions

Luis, Zach, and their guests analyze various listener-submitted video clips, bringing their comedic insights to real-life scenarios:

• Shipping Container Accident ([22:35]-[25:05]): They watch a clip of a shipping container falling on a forklift operator, debating whether the individual survived based on visual cues.

• Car Chase Incident ([23:22]-[27:35]): A detailed discussion about a car chase video where a woman spins out of control, debating the potential consequences and moral implications of witnessing such events.

These segments showcase the hosts' knack for turning serious incidents into humorous yet thought-provoking discussions.

---

Video Games and Gaming Evolution

Around [34:19], the conversation transitions to the evolution of video games, comparing past and present gaming experiences:

• Luis J. Gomez ([35:36]-[36:05]): Reflects on how older games like Mortal Kombat required less commitment compared to today's complex titles that demand extensive character customization and time investment.

• Zach Amico ([35:36]-[36:40]): Discusses the shift from simple, intuitive gameplay to intricate and time-consuming modern games, emphasizing how this change has affected gaming culture.

The hosts and guests reminisce about classic games, debating how the accessibility and social aspects of gaming have transformed over the decades.

---

Pro Wrestling Discussions

A lengthy and nostalgic segment (starting around [63:00]) explores the golden era of pro wrestling and its impact:

• Luis J. Gomez ([63:00]-[73:31]): Discusses iconic wrestling characters like the Undertaker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and the Million Dollar Man, analyzing their roles and the blend of reality and fiction in wrestling storylines.

• Zach Amico ([73:01]-[73:56]): Comments on how modern wrestling has blurred the lines between good and bad characters, contrasting it with the clear-cut heroes and villains of the past.

• Guests Danny Polishchuk and Doug Uram: Share their favorite wrestling memories, debating the authenticity and entertainment value of past versus contemporary wrestling.

This segment serves as a deep dive into the cultural significance of pro wrestling, enriched with humor and personal anecdotes.

---

Shoutouts and Listener Interactions

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage with listener comments and shoutouts, maintaining an interactive and lively atmosphere:

• Shoutouts to Listeners ([51:28]-[52:19]): The hosts address various listener remarks, including playful insults and humorous interactions with users like Elmo.

• Listener-Submitted Clips: Shannon, the show's assistant, plays audio clips for discussion, allowing the hosts to respond in real-time with their characteristic wit.

These interactions reinforce the show's community feel, encouraging audience participation and making listeners feel involved.

---

Conclusion: The Impact of Information Accessibility

In the closing segments ([74:17]-[77:08]), the hosts reflect on how the internet has transformed information consumption and critical thinking:

• Luis J. Gomez ([74:17]): "Having information available to us makes us dumber because we don't have to do any critical thinking."

The discussion emphasizes the paradox of having endless information at our fingertips while potentially diminishing our ability to analyze and retain knowledge. This thought-provoking conclusion ties back to the show's overarching theme of blending humor with insightful commentary.

---

Notable Quotes

• Luis J. Gomez ([04:16]): "I have beef jerky in my tooth right now. It's kind of bugging me."

• Doug Uram ([04:58]): "I hate them… When they go underneath the tooth and they hit the root."

• Luis J. Gomez ([10:19]): "I don't buy that these kids need their dog."

• Doug Uram ([26:09]): "The bear charged me twice…I was just like, I can't get away fast enough."

• Zach Amico ([30:18]): "I'm like, all right, man, be safe. Have a good day."

• Luis J. Gomez ([74:17]): "Having information available to us makes us dumber because we don't have to do any critical thinking."

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 0014 of The Luis and Zac Show offers a blend of sharp humor, candid conversations, and insightful commentary. With guests Danny Polishchuk and Doug Uram, the hosts navigate through personal stories, societal critiques, and nostalgic reflections, all while maintaining their trademark unapologetic and fearless comedic style. Whether discussing the absurdities of online hate, the complexities of dental hygiene, or the evolution of gaming and wrestling, this episode stands out as a testament to the show's ability to entertain and provoke thought in equal measure.

Transcript

[Luis J. Gomez]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Luis J. Gomez]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Luis J. Gomez]

Minimum of 4 lines for $25 per line per month with autopay discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay plus taxes and fees and $10 device connection charge phones via 24 monthly bill credits for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on a required finance agreement too. Bill credits end if you pay off devices early. Ctmobile.com Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamika, red dot headshot, eat a snipe. But a Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper and it came to attack, spilling crack on the tracks. It's your boy Luis J. Gomez coming at you live on a Monday.

[Zach Amico]

On a Monday at noonish noon, dead noon. If the show started on time, you'll know. Hey.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hey, bro. We got a great show planned today. Shout out to everyone in the racist live chat.

[Zach Amico]

We're right here with you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Porchmonkey369 says Lewis is the N word. Chinkmaster555 says I hope baby James gets AIDS from all the gay sex he has.

[Doug Uram]

Jesus.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Fuck. What a day. What a day.

[Zach Amico]

Chinkmaster Pasha.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Great show planned today. I am the porter King Rattlesnake. The international superstar Zach Kimiko is to.

[Zach Amico]

My left as always feeling good, buddy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Incredible show planned. Let's see, let's see. We have a great show. I'm excited. We're gonna relax in today's show. I'm staying in the city today so I have a lot of time to kill. Have a good time, boys. Incredible lineup as always. A 100 white lineup this entire week, folks.

[Doug Uram]

Look at that voice in comedy. We need more trump, baby. Yeah. That's what happens when Lord and savior.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Gets voted in from the boys cast. You know him and love him. Ladies and gentlemen, Danny Polish. Back on the motherfucking show. Corey, you combine the soundboards, but it's. They're all over the place. I. I don't even know where anything is anymore. We gotta get used to this new soundboard. Also from no offense with Doug Uram. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Doug Uram is back on the show.

[Zach Amico]

Hello?

[Doug Uram]

Nothing.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I gotta know where everything's at. Jorge, you think you would make maybe make it an entire. Like there has to be some rhyme and reason to the soundboard.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, I can. I can redo it again.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You know, you put it in order. You put like the gunshots and you have the gunshots.

[Zach Amico]

Well, we have a rhyme section. Words that end with Igor.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm very excited about today's show.

[Doug Uram]

Like the green screen now.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Thank you. Thank you. You've not been on the Lewis and Zach show yet.

[Doug Uram]

I have not. What was with the change?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Are you making the Lewis your Lewis and Zach debut?

[Doug Uram]

I am.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah, me too.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you too, Danny.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Holy shit.

[Danny Polish]

Huggy. You guys want me to do this for a few weeks?

[Doug Uram]

I thought been about a month.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, I didn't realize we got a couple of real ass. I'm sorry.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Very excited about it. Why is this gun clock not working? We're gonna get to the bottom of that on today's show. We have a lot to talk about in today's show. Shannon, did you put the thing that I. I tagged you on Twitter.

[Shannon]

It's the first thing on the list.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay, good. Just making sure. I have beef jerky in my tooth right now. It's kind of bugging me.

[Danny Polish]

The older I've got, I've got developed this like meat tooth. It's like back here and me too. Just always gets stuck in it.

[Doug Uram]

Oh yeah. Those are called food pockets.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Is that what it is?

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

I call it a meat tooth.

[Zach Amico]

I asked Taylor's to put those in all my pants.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Always.

[Danny Polish]

Whatever I eat.

[Doug Uram]

Make one long enough for a foot long hot dog in my ankle.

[Danny Polish]

A half a chicken wing just lodged up.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I always said, dude. The other thing is, as I've gotten older as well, my oral hygiene has gotten better. And now like anytime I have something in my teeth because I water pick and I floss and it's just. It drives me crazy.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, those water picks, you hate them.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Why do you hate them?

[Doug Uram]

Like a son of a. When they go underneath the tooth and they hit the root on the bottom.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's because you got. You got a water pick. More dog.

[Doug Uram]

I don't know if it's because it's either that or the water pick's too strong and it's got too much pressure.

[Danny Polish]

Standard pressure on a water pick.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, they got different settings. You could do light. Yeah, maybe you could do hard.

[Danny Polish]

I've been a philosopher for a long time. Time.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Have a power washer for a water picker.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, water pick is the. Dude, I love it. It's my. It's my number One go to. Yeah, but I feel like I give it away to, like, friends and girls and, like. And I just feel like it's sort of like a rude gift.

[Doug Uram]

Wait, you give yours away or you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, no, no, no. I give it. I've given away probably at least a dozen water picks in my life.

[Doug Uram]

Don't you have them as a sponsor?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I wish. I wish I could.

[Danny Polish]

We did actually have a water pick company. Not a water pick company, but Quip was our sponsor. They sent us a water pick and I was using. And I accidentally turned it on with it. Sprayed my whole.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, it is. It is. If you use it as a water gun, you could actually blast your child's eyeballs out of it.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's so powerful.

[Doug Uram]

That's what I mean. That's why they hurt. They go underneath my gum and they hit the root and I just give that. Ah, come on.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're a tough bald guy from Jersey.

[Doug Uram]

What are you doing, dude? I have a adversion to, like. Like the dentist. Yeah. What I say.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You said. You said adversion.

[Doug Uram]

Wait, what's it?

[Luis J. Gomez]

You put a D in there.

[Doug Uram]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Version.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's an aversion. Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

On Brand had this invers.

[Danny Polish]

He's like out of Saints in Newark or something.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You don't like right out of Central Cast. You don't like the death.

[Danny Polish]

I got an S version, so I.

[Doug Uram]

Got this asphyxiation with my teeth.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You don't like the. The dentist?

[Doug Uram]

No, I hate it. Like, the little. Like my. I have one sensitive tooth. If I don't put Sensodyne, like brush with it or put it on my tooth at least once a week. Yeah, it gets sensitive and I hate my teeth being.

[Danny Polish]

Well, you just use it every day, whatever I do.

[Doug Uram]

But, like, if I forget or even if you use a different toothpaste, it'll knock that with a different.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Is there anybody that's more hated than the dentist?

[Doug Uram]

Nothing. I don't know.

[Danny Polish]

I like my dentist.

[Zach Amico]

Irs?

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, IRS is up there. But they're not touching your mouth.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And I. I mean, just like, visceral reaction, I guess I don't really have to deal with the IRS that much. I just pay them and yes, I hate them, but it's not like there's a dude. Well, my. My dentist is a chick. She actually pretty hot, to be honest with you. And I'm just very self conscious. Have you ever seen, like, they go to, like, the. They have like a camera that goes into your mouth and they show you, like, exactly how, like, it's so gross. Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

If you, like, see behind, like an in between, like a close up with like one of those fucking dental cameras.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's goddamn rancid.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

It's fucking.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Very self conscious. Very self conscious.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. Or if you forget to floss a tooth for a while. And that smell that's in between them.

[Danny Polish]

I just hate the ones that talk to you. They're like. They're trying to have a whole conversation with you, and you're like. And your hands in my mouth, you're like, I can't even talk.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hold on. We're gonna ignore the fact that Doug said, if you forget to floss one of your teeth for a while and it has a nasty smell, because I'll.

[Doug Uram]

Skip one because I'll forget where I.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Am, get one, and then go in order.

[Danny Polish]

What do you mean?

[Zach Amico]

I think we just found out. That is a dead tube. That's his problem with the dead. It's black.

[Doug Uram]

Is that supposed to be like that? It hurts a lot.

[Zach Amico]

I make it sit in the back of my mouth.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's black. I've heard of a lazy eye, but.

[Doug Uram]

A lazy tooth, it doesn't work. It doesn't pay child support.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, no. The dentist might be the most hated. Like, just. We just. Visceral reaction. Yo, I hate you. I pay you and I hate your guts.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah. You know when you get a good one and they don't just stab your gums the whole time?

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. That's rare.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So you love your dentist.

[Danny Polish]

I don't love my dentist. Well, my dentist is actually my.

[Luis J. Gomez]

My dentist.

[Danny Polish]

My new uncle.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So my dentist is like. You know when you go to get your car fixed and you. You go in to get something done and you come out, there's three more things wrong with it.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Like, chiropractor.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's my dentist. Every time I go in, like, all of a sudden they're recommending another $5,000 procedure. Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Every time. Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Some of them are. It's hard to find a good one. Some of them are, like, legit. Just like.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I just.

[Danny Polish]

I got shady mechanics.

[Zach Amico]

I finally got an Indian guy that's perfect. It's. He's got a TV on the ceiling and, like this wraparound thing. So it's headphones, so you can put on Netflix, YouTube, and you just sit backwards. It's great.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I have these Jews that every time I walk in, they're just fucking burning, just rubbing. Rubbing their hands together and just. You see smoke coming out of their hands. I walk in.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, they're just in the back pulling wings off of tooth fairies. You work for us now, okay?

[Doug Uram]

We want a cut of every quarter you give every kid on this block.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Doggy, my Jew dentists are Jew dentists. They. They. Every. Every time I go in, they're like, ah, look, that tooth's got to go. Maybe you need a bridge there. Maybe you need a root canal there. I'm like, suckers. What is going on? Like, I'm. I've never had better oral hygiene in my life. How is it. How am I getting worse every time I come? I know. It's a scam.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

We got to redrill these cavities that. That you had here. We got to redo your fillings.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's all fucking water.

[Doug Uram]

I hear that one a lot. I'm like, don't. Don't worry about it. It's fine, all right? Just leave it alone.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Maybe you should get those cavities refilled.

[Doug Uram]

Just don't.

[Danny Polish]

You got a lot of shit going on in the mouth.

[Doug Uram]

No, my fucking mouth is fantastic. I haven't had a cavity in, like, seven years.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, we haven't filled in seven years.

[Doug Uram]

Also, I haven't been to the dentist in that same amount.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's pretty wild, maybe. Am I being a Karen here? Did you see the video I was tweeting about?

[Zach Amico]

I didn't say it. I'm excited to discuss.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, so there was a. There's a. There's a video. I guess there's a. A group. I'm assuming it's like, a college class, and they're, like, on a nature trail. And then there's a woman, and I guess one of the kids in the class has a service dog or.

[Danny Polish]

Or.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I don't. Service dog or an emotional support animal or whatever it is. Apparently there's a difference, right? So support animals, you just gotta. Any. Any therapist will write you a note and saying, yeah, you need your cat. And they. They will write these notes fraudulently all the time. Huge scam. But an actual service animal is a trained animal. That is specifically. It's very expensive. You. You know, it's trained to do a specific job, and then you buy it, and it's money. Insurance typically doesn't cover it, so I guess you can't put them all into the same category. I just have my reaction every time I see anybody, whether it's a service animal, emotional, supportive. I don't ever try to subcategorize. Immediately I go, you're a liar. You want to Bring your dog into the movies, you piece of. Yeah, every time. It could be a blind kid with one leg.

[Danny Polish]

Dude, there's a guy last week in New Jersey who had like a. Like a donkey at a grocery store.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, I saw that video.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Service Service donkey.

[Danny Polish]

Service donkey.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

And he brings them into a grocery store. Those things. Piles.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was a service.

[Doug Uram]

Something.

[Luis J. Gomez]

How are the buttons getting stuck on a screen? It makes no sense. It just doesn't make any sense. Jorge, what were you doing to this screen? Where are the buttons sticking?

[Doug Uram]

I don't know. That's.

[Danny Polish]

That's quite the question.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So pull up this. Pull up this. This video.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, can you tell us again about what do you saw at the grocery store?

[Danny Polish]

It was a donkey. It was a service donkey.

[Zach Amico]

We Shrek at the grocery store or something.

[Danny Polish]

The guy looked kind of.

[Zach Amico]

Edit that together, little Shrek.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Shannon, let's see this video. I'm barred from going to a park.

[Doug Uram]

Ah, she's already annoying.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Do you own this park?

[Zach Amico]

I live right up there. So do I.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Miss three times a week. Okay, so do you own this park service?

[Danny Polish]

Animals are not allowed.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Do you own this? Dogs are not allowed on this trail.

[Doug Uram]

Why not? Guys, it's outside.

[Zach Amico]

We're from the community college.

[Doug Uram]

That's fine.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What?

[Zach Amico]

We're from the community college.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's why we're here today. We're on a field trip. So this service.

[Zach Amico]

This service dog's allowed in the classroom as well? Pretty sure it's federally protected law.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

No, this is not.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is this. Am I crazy that I am so siding with this Karen? It's crazy.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Why are you signing with the chick?

[Luis J. Gomez]

What? The. The woman.

[Danny Polish]

It's a giant national park.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Number one, first of all, apparently is a protected nature reserve. This is what apparently. And when you bring a dog into some of these things, the animals get spooked, they run. They don't mate. They don't do what they're supposed to do. So that was apparently what the context was of them saying that. But here's the thing. I don't buy that these kids need their dog. I don't buy it. I don't buy they need it in the. I don't. I don't buy that they need it. I think that this is some dumb twat that wants to have her dog with her at all times.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, her dog is a conversation piece.

[Danny Polish]

Well, she just likes her dog. You can buy those vests too, on Amazon. They're like $12.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, yeah. That's how you sneak your dog on The.

[Zach Amico]

She's an uninterested.

[Danny Polish]

No, they don't let you do that anymore.

[Zach Amico]

It brings a dog everywhere with her so that everyone pays attention to the dog and she gets the attention.

[Doug Uram]

I thought it was the dude that had it, though. Wasn't he the one John at the.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I know so many. Yeah. Oh, I know so many people. I know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He's gonna be kicking that dog out of. He's gonna be trying to lock that dog.

[Danny Polish]

He's like. To the chick, he's like, you're this up for me.

[Doug Uram]

Every date they go on, she's got to bring this poodle with.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I know at least a half dozen people that have fake service dogs.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they're all girl comics.

[Danny Polish]

Literally, my wife.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, no, no, they're not all girl comics. A couple of them are guy comics that are the size of a girl.

[Zach Amico]

Karen, Corinne, Josh, Adam Myers.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's ridiculous. None of them are service animals. None of them need a animal. They all fake have.

[Danny Polish]

Literally.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's ridiculous. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

But here's the thing, though. So little, like. So hotels, they charge you, like, you know, 50 bucks a night for your dog.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Small dog. You have that piece of paper, no charge.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No. I understand that you're being fraudulent. Yes. I understand that to make your life easier, you're bringing dog. Everybody else's life that has anything for you hasn't signed up for a dog. Like, I didn't sign up for a dog in my restaurant or my hotel or we never bring in a restaurant. It's infuriating.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, I love dogs.

[Zach Amico]

As far as the hotel thing, I'd say that's scam that Jew more than that's being fraudulent. If you're saving the $50, you're bringing the dog. Either way.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let me say this. I actually, I don't give a. About them bringing a dog to the hotel. If. If the hotel is allowing a dog and you have to pay a fee, I don't give a shit if the hotel's getting their fee. So you're right. That's fine.

[Zach Amico]

With that. Said a barking dog next to, you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Know, the hotel, scamming the hotel does take. It does supersede having the fit. Fine, fine. I will say that because I do believe.

[Doug Uram]

But I agree.

[Danny Polish]

A restaurant. If I'm in a restaurant.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. No dogs there.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I remember I was at the airport once, and this Chinese wings. This Chinese. Oh, it made me. I. I never. I've never been so angry in my entire life.

[Zach Amico]

Was it in a. To go contain.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Doggy. This Chinese.

[Zach Amico]

She had, like, when black ladies bring seafood. Yeah, seafood boils.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, a little like, I want to say like a Pekingese or like one of these types of dogs. It was a little shitty dog and it just walked and it just leaned down and just pissed in the middle of the airport. Then I watched her go, oh, oh, oh. And she grabbed one singular napkin. It was a whole pool of piss. One singular napkin. She put it in the center of the piss. She picked, like, literally soaked. It was still just a pull of piss. She picked it up and then dripped it over to the garbage, literally the entire thing, and then just left it and then walked away with her dog. I mean, dude, it took me everything in my power to not just spear her through a window. Oh, it made me so I would.

[Danny Polish]

Have just like set up shop right there and just waited for people to slip in the pad.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I said nothing. And I just, I regret it. To this day, I regret. I, I think about this almost daily.

[Doug Uram]

Should have just yelled, miss, you're gonna cle up. You left something.

[Zach Amico]

Can I tell you an intrusive thought I have a lot.

[Doug Uram]

What's that?

[Zach Amico]

In a situation like that, there's a part of me and at. No, this is a disgusting thing. Like, at no point do I want to do this in my head, because what if I just got on my hands and knees and started licking the dog piss up? Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Because nobody's paying attention.

[Zach Amico]

She would be so upset. But then you'd be like, well, thank you. But if you were like, oh, thank you, I needed this.

[Danny Polish]

You think she'd be upset?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, she'd film you. Oh, she called police.

[Doug Uram]

I mean, that definitely takes the heat off of her. Nobody's looking at her like, she's the.

[Zach Amico]

But I've always thought what would be the response be to such a ludicrous activity?

[Doug Uram]

That's instant YouTube short. That's.

[Zach Amico]

She would have to like call the police or something. Like in her head.

[Doug Uram]

You call the police for that though, right?

[Zach Amico]

Like, this man's drinking, my dog's pissed.

[Doug Uram]

There's some dude with a multi colored Mohawk looking. Piss off.

[Danny Polish]

I definitely would be calling. I'd just be whipping on my phone. I would not be calling the bullies.

[Doug Uram]

Nobody would ever believe.

[Danny Polish]

Let him finish.

[Doug Uram]

If you told somebody, I watched this dude, like, piss off of the ground. Everybody be like, that didn't happen. You're like, I swear to God, I saw it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I, I look, I, I look. Should the woman maybe mind her business? Maybe, you know, But I'm also Like, but the dog.

[Danny Polish]

Like, is there more context? Like, the dog take a.

[Doug Uram]

And they like, yeah, you can't have dog in the middle of the nature.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I just get really annoyed every time.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like a park is the park place to take the dog.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but not if it's a nature reserves.

[Doug Uram]

It's a nature reserve.

[Danny Polish]

I mean, I have been to many places where they're like, yeah, like. Like national parks with, like, no dogs allowed. But I think it's more because it's, like, dangerous for the dog.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, you know, like, no, there'll be. Yeah, a coyote will come and fight.

[Danny Polish]

It's like, really uneven terrain. And.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, there's. There. There are. But these are people. These are kids, by the way, if it's like, a person who. You need your emotional support so bad. Dogs so badly, maybe you shouldn't be on a class trip.

[Doug Uram]

You shouldn't be blind with a dog.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's not a blind person, Doug. Blind people. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, but even then, I'm like, are they blind, though?

[Danny Polish]

You're kind of like, snap.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Are you blind?

[Doug Uram]

That's true. You do see a lot of people in New York walk around with those sticks that aren't blind because you could see clearly. Move out of the way.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

I think you get insurance. They're just, like, mostly blind.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. They can see, like, big objects and. Or lights and certain colors. There was one woman who responded to this. I. I posted about it being like, I don't trust anybody with service dogs. And some woman was like. She was. The response was crazy. She was like, I needed a service dog. My son. We had a service dog that would detect if there was peanuts because my son had a severe peanut allergy. And I was like. I was like, you're. You. You had a dog to smell your son's food. You.

[Doug Uram]

That's amazing.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You. I'm sorry. That is another level of entitlement.

[Zach Amico]

You have a parent to read the label on. The kid was eating.

[Doug Uram]

I don't know if there's peanuts and peanut sauce. I hope the dog eats the peanuts and then licks the kid's face and he dies.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's see. Oh, Mer says dog people. I agree. Bootsnake says my dog would up a coyote. Maybe.

[Doug Uram]

Possibly. Sometimes. Depends. Coyotes are key.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, whatever. I. You know, I just. Yes. Is the woman an annoying Karen? Yes. Are the kids taking advantage of the system? Of course.

[Doug Uram]

Well, that's who. That's what you gotta weigh out. Who do you hate more? The Karen or that jerk off kid.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Once the kids whip, whip out their phone and start doing attack.

[Luis J. Gomez]

She's seeking justice. She's seeking justice and that's fine. You know, sometimes you got to seek justice out there in the world.

[Zach Amico]

Seeking Justin or just justice? She's seeking Justin. She, she hates dogs. She's seeking justice or is her life suck and this is the one thing she can control is ruining other people's good time. And she goes home and no one respects her or loves her, wants to fuck her. So she goes to parks and causes scenes.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah, like she's like this all the time.

[Doug Uram]

That's. You think a few digits in her vagina would stop her from complaining that people would serve?

[Zach Amico]

I think a fucking half a jar of peanut butter and she'll change her mind about that dog.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm think I'm taking her side. No. I don't think you have to be a loser with nothing going on in your life to seek justice. I think sometimes injustices are happening around us and every once in a while it takes a real ass dude to step up and seek justice.

[Doug Uram]

I'm on her side.

[Zach Amico]

I agree. I hope a snake does bite her on that trail.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Small batch Cigar for supporting today's show. We love a small batch cigar because they have exactly what they sound like they have, which is incredible quality cigars sold to you and delivered to you in small batches. There is free shipping on every order and it's delivered in two to three days in most of the United States. I'll tell you right now, you want to get your cigars from Small batch Cigar. They have an incredible line of products. Every cigar brand that you love and probably a lot of brands that you don't know. Because if you click new when you go to their website, you can get access to a bunch of brand new arrivals.

[Zach Amico]

Not only that, but they have the most thorough packaging in the industry. Every purchase comes with the 69 humidity pack, the Boveda pack. So you're going to get small batch cigars and they're going to be as fresh as possible. Plus you get 5% rewards points instantly with your purchase.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Just go to smallbatch cigar.com use the promo code GAS10. When you check out, you're going to save 10% plus you're going to get those 5% rewards points. Once again, that's smallbatch cigar.com use that promo code GAS10 for 10% off and 5% rewards. All right, where were we let's see. You know, Shannon, it. Let's go. Does it live? Does it die? Shipping container falls on a forklift operator.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, I hope this is the one. I think it is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Does it live or does it die?

[Zach Amico]

Looks fine so far.

[Doug Uram]

He's doing his job. There's some knocking in there. Oh, no.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I was like jenga. Oh, no.

[Doug Uram]

He tried to save it though.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, no. Oh. Oh, my crush. Yes.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, look, he fell. He's alive.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, wait, he's moving.

[Danny Polish]

Just cuz you fell out doesn't mean you're alive.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's moving. I don't know.

[Danny Polish]

You see that chick of the video of like there's like a car chase in somewhere in California. It's like pretty recently. And the chick's like speeding, then she goes to take the off ramp and she like spins and then you just see her body just like fly out the window maybe 150ft.

[Luis J. Gomez]

See? Do you want to do this one first, though? Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

I don't know what happened. She died. She died.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Danny was like, I have a better one. I'll have a better one that I'll just describe. No, no.

[Danny Polish]

I'm gonna go.

[Doug Uram]

Go with cut in half by the guard rail.

[Danny Polish]

I'm going to go. He died.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's see it one more time. Shannon.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. Can we zoom in on the crash? Okay, watch the guy get.

[Danny Polish]

What country is this in, do we know?

[Doug Uram]

It's Newark.

[Shannon]

Asian place. I'll look it up.

[Danny Polish]

Asian died.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, then.

[Zach Amico]

Then the 50 people living in the.

[Doug Uram]

Shipping container also died. That was 200 change. In Asia, that's called being. Being evicted.

[Danny Polish]

200 Eastern European prostitutes and one Chinese.

[Doug Uram]

Man move that one because he heard knocking in that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, some massage parlor didn't get there.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God, that one fell so. It fell from so high.

[Doug Uram]

Nah, that dude's alive.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Shannon stopped it again because he's gonna. I. Not only do I think this guy's alive, I think he's so alive that he gets up and walks away. Because Shannon now stopped it extra early this time because she knows what happens at the end of this. That's the only context that I play it.

[Shannon]

I'll play it through. We can go back to it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, oh, Shannon.

[Doug Uram]

I think he's in that little box.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And he falls on the ground. Okay. Right there.

[Doug Uram]

He's acting like a par.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, you know what? He's not. He's not getting up and running.

[Doug Uram]

He's not. He got hit in the head. Good. That's like when you get knocked out, you get starched.

[Zach Amico]

Was he wearing a helmet?

[Doug Uram]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Was he wearing a hard hat? Did he have a bowl cut instead of a hard hat?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm going to say that this guy is dead. That's crazy. That was such a height.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I think that guy might be dead.

[Doug Uram]

I think he's alive, but he is not happy. He is fucked up.

[Shannon]

Is that everyone's answers?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Sure.

[Shannon]

Okay. So he did live. He was actually conscious when he was transported to the hospitals. To the hospital said he sustained injuries but they didn't give details on them. But he is okay.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Danny Polish]

Good for him. Lucky.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Danny Polish]

Really dodged on there.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Doug Uram]

Wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Good for him.

[Doug Uram]

Oh.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That'S wild.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah, that is absolutely wild. Probably like six inches a foot or something. I would have killed like if that just kind of caught. Because I guess it caught the top of the cab and like.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, he's not even paralyzed or anything. Shannon.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Doug. What's the closest you've ever been to being killed?

[Doug Uram]

It was a few times. There was the most. The scariest was the bear that I ran into that was up that gay guy. Yeah, right here. Gave me a hug and I felt sick right after.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Go get a test. This gay guy me in my ass.

[Doug Uram]

That was pretty close. Also an African girl without a condom. That made me nervous for about.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Did you an African girl? I kissed it. I kissed a white South African girl when I was like 19.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Doug Uram]

This one was black.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And I was convinced this girl was.

[Doug Uram]

A bottle of Hershey syrup. She was you raw dogged.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And she was from African or was she African American?

[Doug Uram]

No, no, she's from Africa. She was here for only six months at the time. She was doing some like residency nurse bullshit and nyu. Whatever the it is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

She was a smart African. Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

And we were in Washington Square park and it was on a bench.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And you banged her on the bench?

[Doug Uram]

Right on the bench in front of everybody.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's where you're. That's where you're gonna get aids.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. Bare assed on the bench is more risky than an African with no rubber.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

And that was. That was terrifying. For six months I was like this. Was this her name? No, I'm not gonna say her name. Almost fucking said it. But her name sounds like traditional African. Sounds like fd. Yeah. Yeah, right. I forgot. Oh, I said it and then that and. And then that was a. But then there was a time with the bear and her cubs and she came running up a mountain.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're comparing fucking a black person to.

[Doug Uram]

Almost being both things were black. It was black, but that was fucking. And the Bear. The bear charged me twice. And I was just like, this is it. This. I can't get away fast enough. And the cubs were towards me. No, I just backed the up. And I was like, I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

I'm in a silly mood today. I'm sorry. The bear charged you twice. You should have just called your credit card company. Not into my silliness today.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I like it. I just don't like it being in Chip's voice. If you're gonna do a joke, if you're gonna do a joke, do a joke in your own voice and own the joke. You don't get to do a Chip imp.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, hold on. I'll do it again. Yeah, the bear charged you twice. You should just call your insurance company.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, so hold on. So the bear charged you?

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, she charged me twice. And she had the. I was waiting for.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No.

[Doug Uram]

All right, that's your cue. And she charged me twice. And each time my guts just went into my throat. Each time she fucking shoot at it. No, I had a fucking bow or. No, I had a gun with bird shot. It wouldn't have done anything. It just.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, I would have tried.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, I would have just pissed there.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I would have said. I would have still gone right up to it, dude. No, you get right into that fucking bear's eyeball.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Just go right up to it. It's just gonna sit there, too. And you can just jam.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, it's better than being eaten alive. I mean, try something.

[Doug Uram]

But here's the thing. It's like, do I piss her off more than she already is, or do I kind of just leave this level?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I would have grabbed one of the cubs and snapped his head off right in her. I would have showed her who flew.

[Doug Uram]

Out of its spine?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Who the. I was sort of its neck hole right in front of her. You ass bear. Beat it.

[Doug Uram]

That was. That was.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's a black bear. It's not a brand. It's not a grizzly. It's a black bear if it's black. Fight back. Elbows, knees, bite it.

[Doug Uram]

Take that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Thumbs in the eyes.

[Zach Amico]

That's what he did in Washington Square Park. I held her by the rings around their neck.

[Doug Uram]

I played dead and she still didn't go away.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What's the closest you've ever been to dying?

[Danny Polish]

I don't know. I don't think. I've never really. I mean, the scary is the ones that you don't know about, like where you actually were close to dying, but you actually don't even Know.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What do you mean?

[Danny Polish]

You know, like, maybe you're, like, about to get hit by a car or something. You just, like, don't even. You have your headphones and you don't even realize it. Or there's some dude who's about to go, like, knife up some people in a park and you just had no idea. Yeah, I don't know. Nothing. Really, though?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I guess I haven't had too many near death experiences. Zach, what about you?

[Zach Amico]

I had a Uber ride maybe two years ago, and there's an exit to get off the BQE by where I live, but you kind of have to crisscross. And I watched a truck completely decimate. Like, took half the car with it. Oh, wow. And me and my Uber driver was an old black guy. We both screamed and then very slowly drove to my house. And I realized we were both waiting for me to leave so we could cry. And we parked, and he just. I went, you okay? And he goes, yeah, are you?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm like, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm like, all right, man, be safe. Have a good day. And I walked out of the car and I just started sobbing. And I watched him, and he had his head on the dashboard and he was just crying so hard. It was so. It was literally right in front of us, and he took the whole front of the car. God damn, it was brutal.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, that's.

[Zach Amico]

And, yeah, that me up. That scared the shit out.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, that's fucked up. That's right. And you shared a nice cry with an Indian gentleman. That's nice.

[Zach Amico]

That would freak me out. It was an old black guy.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, oh, yeah. You said all black.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I think, whatever. When I was younger, there was, I guess, more where it was like, you just do stupid shit as a kid.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And I was. I grew up in the suburbs, too, so. You just looked for danger. You look for danger, you know, you didn't think anything was gonna fucking hurt you. It was just like, you know, I probably almost died every day as a kid, right. I would rollerblade around, and I would hang on the back of a red and tan bus for literally, like, miles and miles and miles. Because we'd be going to the mall, so we'd ride it from West Havershaw to Nanuette. It was such a long time to trust that I'm just gonna hang on the back of this bus and not hit a pothole, not, like, hit a rock and just roll underneath somebody's tire.

[Danny Polish]

Slam on the brakes, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, just insane. If I saw my son do the, that I was doing at his age. I was thinking about this. My son is at the age this New Year's Eve coming up. He, he'll be, he'll be 12 years old on New Year's Eve.

[Doug Uram]

Damn, he's that old.

[Luis J. Gomez]

When I was 12 on New Year's Eve, this was the first year that I was taken home by the police for getting drunk at a party. Yeah. And I got into a fight with a 19 year old gang member.

[Doug Uram]

Jesus Christ.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm thinking about my son, like my little boy who by, by the way, in every measure of the word could fucking destroy me in a fight. Like 12 year old me was like a little fat pudgy kid who'd never, like. I never trained martial arts. I never did anything I wasn't like. My son like legitimately is really good at jiu jitsu, he's in great shape and he's just a good, tall, lanky, strong, muscular kid. I just, I think back to that night, I remember it clear as day, just getting fucking hammered. Like I was at my buddy Gano's, he was having a party, but it was like a mixture of adults and kids and like everyone just drinking, it didn't matter. It was like, you know, the Puerto Rican mom was getting drunk and the stepdad was in the bedroom. We were just drinking wine coolers and then beer, just mixing everything up and I just got obliterated. And yeah, this, this 19 year old, I made a sarcastic comment to him and he just started beating my ass. And then like the cops came and they had me in handcuffs. And then like I was like, I didn't know what's going on.

[Danny Polish]

Why were you in handcuffs for getting your ass kicked?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Because the cops came and just like arrested us. Got to a fight, you know, but it's so funny. Like I look at my son, he's a little boy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They wouldn't put him in handcuffs. That's crazy. He's a boy. Was. I did.

[Doug Uram]

I understand they used to put you in cuffs when you were kid, but.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Did I present as more of a man than my son did when I was his age?

[Danny Polish]

I don't think just being a police officer was different back then.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hold on, let's see.

[Zach Amico]

Just kind of stop resisting.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, my little bubba. That's like my little baby boy, he's got a gun. It's, it's, it's really. I just like, it's kind of a bizarre age to watch him going into this age now. And I'm like, yeah, no, but I Don't think he will. He's just too good of a kid. Really. Too nice of a kid meeting and stuff.

[Danny Polish]

I mean I was a nice kid.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's in the girl. He's definitely into girls. And he like talks to me about it and he like. But it's like. Yeah. Like I was at. I was his age when I started hanging out like past midnight. Just going out, like not coming home.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Like that was that. What a different world me and my kid are living in.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. Just back then we didn't have video games like we do now. Like we had them, they just weren't as addicting. I mean they're out.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think they might have even been more addicting because that was the only option back then. Right. So we got addicted because I was, I was never a gamer but my middle school years, like from sixth into like the ninth grade, I mean all we did was play Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter.

[Danny Polish]

Oh yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's all like non, like non stop. And I came out golden eyes.

[Doug Uram]

Goldeneye.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We were addicted to these 12 hour.

[Doug Uram]

Shifts like WCW versus NWO revenge. That was another one.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. There were certain games that you didn't have to be. I think today you have to be. I think there's a lot. Here's what it is. I think there's a lot more. There's almost like a. The category of gamer has become a thing. Whereas I think we were all gamers by the definition of being gamers when we were kids. And I think now kids that are into games are really into games. And it's almost like a personality trait. It's almost like part of their part.

[Zach Amico]

Also the games, most of the games we had you could pick up in 20 minutes. Yeah. Now you start a new game and it's like a three day process to make your character.

[Doug Uram]

You also couldn't play with people from all over the world. It was just you and whoever was in that fucking.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You had to. You have to really care now to game, like to even get into. Like I got the UFC game. My son plays it. I gave it my PlayStation. I stopped playing video games altogether. I was wasting too much time playing video games. But like I wanted to play the UFC game. I was like, let me learn this game. Create a character.

[Doug Uram]

It's a pain in the ass.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was like, it was like a three day process to get to the point where I'm like training. Yeah. Where I'm going, I'm not even getting into fights. Like I like just to make the face it's like so much energy and effort. I'm like, this sucks. All I want to do is pick it up and play it real quick. And you're right. I think they're being four buttons. Yeah, you have your bumpers. It was pretty intuitive the way the games worked. And now in order to like play like even like something like, you know, Call of Duty, like it's so intricate and it's so heavy that unless you really want to learn, it's just overwhelming.

[Danny Polish]

You gotta put so much time and then you like go play online and some 6 year old destroys you, calls you a. But you're just like, for what am I gonna dedicate all my time to this?

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's a lot. It's a lot.

[Doug Uram]

Back then you could win Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter by just pressing all the fucking buttons at one time. And you would win fucking.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is why you have this, why you have shitty teeth today. Because you're a cheap fucking Mortal Kombat player.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, that's exactly.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Soccer would get me in the corner and fucking do the backflip kick with John Lee over and over again. This fucking piece of shit. This motherfucker is doing the sweep with Vega over and over again in the corner.

[Doug Uram]

Sweeping your leg every 10 seconds. You couldn't do shit.

[Zach Amico]

I think we all know is it's the crouch, palm strike from.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Zach. That's how you would fight in real life today.

[Zach Amico]

Just walk guy into the corner of the room and squat. No, I think we all know I would turn into electric and do a roll with them.

[Doug Uram]

I still couldn't do the freeze. No matter how hard I try with down, I couldn't do it. I would it up every time. Time.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's crazy.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, I couldn't do that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, that's the other thing now. So when you play Mortal Kombat now. So it was like there was just something cooler about it. Back in the day before the Internet, you could buy like, you can go to Blockbuster Video and get like a guide. A new game would come out and you get like moves and you'd remember.

[Danny Polish]

The game genie that I like attached to like the cartridge or whatever game.

[Doug Uram]

Shark was the other one too, I didn't have.

[Luis J. Gomez]

But it was like to learn the, the finishers in Mortal Kombat it was like pass from friend to friend.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

To learn the fatality of Mortal Kombat. Like you had to like.

[Danny Polish]

How did anybody even figure this out?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, like you had to. Somebody, some older kid had to tell you and you had to like. And I this. But there was no Internet. There was no getting it. There was no, there was no finding it even like the Up Down, up down at Baba Start or whatever for like Street Fighter to make it Turbo mode. Yeah, like that literally just came from like word of mouth. There was no hub to go find it anywhere. It was written on like a bathroom stall somewhere. It was fucking crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Or you had one friend, you got Nintendo Power.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So is that what it was? Like Nintendo Power Magazine? Because we were just.

[Zach Amico]

There were magazines that had it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I know there was like. So I remember I would get certain games and at Blockbuster there would be like a guide that would come with the game. It would be a thick and be like 15 bucks, 20 bucks. And once in a while I would buy that. You would learn all the moves trying to remember which game it was. Maybe it was like Star Fox. When Star Fox came out, it was like the guide to Star Fox. And I specifically had that one because star Fox 64 was out of control. Such a cool fucking game when it came out. But yeah, our whole generation, everybody from our generation was addicted to Mario Brothers. Super Mario Brothers, you know, Mario 64, you didn't have to be a gamer. It didn't have to be part of your identity. It's literally what everybody did. And now I think that if you play games now, like it's kind of your identity.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, yeah, but how did we still had the time to go outside and shit like that and get up and get.

[Danny Polish]

Well, because you get to a part of the game where you're like, I can't get past us. I'm leaving.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You just. You just give up. Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Well, that was like endless people to play against.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What was the game where it was like. It was a side scrolling game and.

[Zach Amico]

The, what's it, the water level? It's. You thinking of battle toads or the first Ninja Turtles?

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, no, I'm not, I'm thinking of side scrolling game. It was an arcade one as well, but I had it on Super Nintendo. And you would get like armor and you jump and it was like almost like a vampire type world. It's not Castlevania. And you'd like throw spears and you'd like fucking throw, fucking. And then if they, they got your armor off, you were like naked in your underwear. Oh, oh.

[Zach Amico]

Ghouls and goblins.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Ghouls and goblins.

[Doug Uram]

Never heard of that one.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was dope. But it was like, literally you got to level three, you're like, well, never getting past the end. Just so you know you got there.

[Zach Amico]

It ain't ever fucking like a knight, but then if you get hit, you're just like a man in a loincloth.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And then you said. Or was it Ghouls and Ghosts? Was it Super Ghouls and ghosts?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, something like that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think it's Super Ghouls and Shannon, pull up. Super Ghouls and ghosts.

[Doug Uram]

Let me see this. Yeah, that's bringing back a memory.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this is it. Dude, I loved this game. Dude, it was so hard that you got to a certain level where it just wasn't. It was impossible. Yeah. Do you get to throw a little spears? This ship is fire.

[Doug Uram]

I don't remember this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

How do you not remember this?

[Doug Uram]

I don't know how. I don't remember this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's gonna. That's gonna roll down the hill. Jump, jump twice. I'm feeling the game.

[Zach Amico]

No, I literally. I have this on my switch, the whole game.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Because there's only one way to do it. You had to, like. It was like, so before, like, everything exploded the same way. Everything came the same. Like, now games are like. There's like, AI interfaces and there's like. Is different. It's like you could literally get people.

[Danny Polish]

Who are professional players.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, you would speed run. Like, that's a thing. Speed running, Mario.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Was like a thing, like, literally. But it's just really some. It's like memorizing the patterns and, like.

[Zach Amico]

And then it's taking advantage of glitches. So there's like certain boxes that you can go backwards into, and it accidentally takes you to the end of the screen and.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, yeah. Or you could walk backwards into the screen and you're at the end of.

[Zach Amico]

The level where you're also forgetting, for the WrestleMania arcade game, if you wanted to learn the moves you had to get. The Coliseum home video of the Wrestlingale would tell you how to do the secret moves.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it would say on the box for Secrets to WrestleMania, the arcade game. And you would watch the whole VHS.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then Todd Pettengale would be like, if you're the Undertaker, this is how you do your.

[Doug Uram]

And then sometimes he would give you nothing. Because if you just want to. You watch the whole thing. And then you'd be like, if you want to taunt the crowd, you press up. And that's our fucking tip for WrestleMania. You're like, OK, I knew that already.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Well, now with Mortal Kombat, because the Internet exists. Mortal Kombat, if you just press pause, they give you the entire moves list.

[Zach Amico]

Like, no, you got to unlock them.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, do you?

[Doug Uram]

I had no idea.

[Zach Amico]

Those finishers, your regular moves? Yes, but the fatalities you have to unlock.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They gave me some fatalities. I. I never.

[Zach Amico]

They give you the first two, but you have like, five.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay, there's more. Okay, so that's why. Sure, fine. But it's. It's just a different sort of way to. It's fun, you know?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. All the real people. Being in Mortal Kombat, that was pretty gnarly.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What do you mean?

[Zach Amico]

Terminator, Rambo, these are real people. But it's really Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm saying the actors, they've all. The hard Rainbow's not a real guy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, I remember a while ago they did Jason Voorhees, which was awesome. Do they have Freddy?

[Zach Amico]

They had Freddy. Before that they've had Leatherface.

[Doug Uram]

Sad Michael.

[Zach Amico]

This year they have Ghostface from Scream.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, he's in another game too, where you get to actually hunt the people and stab them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Dead by daylight. That's it.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. Death by daylight or some like that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I don't like those team games where you have.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, it's a team game.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. If you're one of the survivors, you have to work together to make, like, generators. It's similar to the Friday 13th and the Texas Chainsaw games.

[Luis J. Gomez]

My son just. Just downloaded Resident Evil on his switch. It's pretty cool.

[Doug Uram]

That was one game I couldn't switch.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm sorry. VR. Oh, that sounds on the Oculus.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that sounds really fun.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So he's just like in the living room. Like, literally I'm watching him going. That's screaming as he's running over. It's really cool.

[Doug Uram]

I've broken many controllers over Resident Evil and Madden. Yeah, those are probably Halo.

[Danny Polish]

I used to.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, yeah, you smash.

[Danny Polish]

And I remember I had the original Xbox and they had those, like, giant controllers where you were just like, just. And then they came out with the smaller ones and you were just like, just give me an excuse to break this thing, because I hate it. Anyways.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay, let's take a moment and thank yo kratom.com for supporting today's show. We love Yo Kratom. Home of the 60 kilo. Been with us for a very long time. Our longest running sponsor by far. They got you covered. If you guys are in the market for kratom, you're over 21 years old. You got to get it from your creative dot com.

[Zach Amico]

They have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do, don't start doing kratom on our account. But if you do, stop going to smoke shops, bodegas, or gas stations and get a little bit of kratom at a time where you can get a whole kilo delivered to your door for just 60 bucks.

[Luis J. Gomez]

60 bucks. No promo code needed. The best price on the Internet for anything. Just go to your crate. EM.com. all right, where were we?

[Doug Uram]

I could never get past Resident Evil. Like, pass once you got out of the warehouse, out onto the street, and then you have to go down the block, and then the screen would change. I can never get past that second fucking level of Resident Evil. I always fucking. I always suck.

[Zach Amico]

I get. I get too fresh. I don't like. I don't like when games are, like, shooty.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then you need to solve a puzzle. I was like, if I wanted to play a puzzle game, I'd play a puzzle game.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't want to unlock this door. I want to shoot zombies.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's my. My only problem with Doom.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The new Doom. It's like you're playing, like, do you have these crazy weapons and you're literally fighting the devil? It's not even like. It's like, that's doom, right? That's what I'm thinking of.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Like, you're in hell.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

You're like.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're, like, on a space mission to hell somehow. Like, you're like in a rocket ship, and you go to hell, and it. It's really, like, badass, and there's all these, like. It's really hard. And then you'll get to a thing where it's like, now it's time for you to unlock a thing. You have to, like, move around the wall in a certain way. You're like, dude, I'm too dumb. Give me my ray. I need to shoot a fucking bat out of this guy right now.

[Doug Uram]

We killed things. That's why, like, Assassin's Creed. I loved Assassin's Creed. But when there was times where you had to collect the feathers, as in that second one with the Italian guy, and I couldn't find all the feathers, so I couldn't move on to a goddamn to the next level. 100 feathers.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's. Real quick. Let's. Let's do plugs.

[Zach Amico]

You hear me telling 100 feathers?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's do plugs. We have a lot. So what are we plugging on, Doug?

[Doug Uram]

What's that?

[Luis J. Gomez]

What are you plugging, my friend?

[Doug Uram]

Oh, when does this come out? It's Today, right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is live right now. It'll be out on Thursday. Everywhere else.

[Doug Uram]

Tomorrow I'll be in Atlantic City comedy club at 8:00. So I'll be down there. And then Thursday I'll be at the pair and then Friday I'll be at the dojo of comedy and Morris Plains. It's a great place with Mike. And then follow me on Instagram at the Doug Uram and yeah, that's it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Love it, love it. Danny Paul Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Polish]

I'll be in Albany at The Funny Bone December 4, Hartford December 5. You can get tickets dannycomedy.com and check out low value mail. YouTube M A I L new Colin shows Monday and Tuesday night and the boys cast on Friday.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Zach Amico.

[Zach Amico]

I got a new movie coming out called bring on the damned it they just changed the screening date so now it's going to be January the 11th. January 11th at the museum of moving Image. Please come out. It's really fun.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Come see me live on the road, guys. LewisOfSkangs.com is the website to grab tickets for all these shows. We're really rounded out this year. Nice and hard. Gramercy Theater the regs live December 11th live podcast. We're doing a little bit of stand up as well to open up the show. It's gonna be a goddamn blast. Myself, Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Joe listening. Very special guest Santa Claus that's going to be coming, coming and hanging out with us. Plus we I have the dojo of comedy on December 12th, Morris Plains, New Jersey, one night only December 13th, EMAS Theater, EMAS, Pennsylvania. And then I'll be in Austin, Texas at the Creek and Cave from December 20th through 22nd. I'm doing a depraved on the 22nd brand new tour coming up for 2025. Zanius Rosemont tickets are up. For January. North Charleston, South Carolina tickets are up. Are up. Winnipeg tickets are up. Adding a bunch of dates. There's I think about 18 or 19 cities already booked on the Bring 5 Friends tour coming to a city near you going everywhere this year. So look out for tickets. Grab those tickets to lewiskings.com make sure you guys subscribe to Gas Digital. If you're watching the show on YouTube or iTunes or anywhere else, we censor the out of the show so it could be on YouTube if you want the show uncensored and ad free. We do three shows every week, a bonus episode just for [e-mail] the shows are uncensored, they're ad free. You get pre release on all the episodes and many other member benefits, including access to the racist live chat, which really today is just a bunch of young looking. Just pictures and images of young girls with big tits. Nice. So, yeah, a lot of porn in the racist live chat today. All right, shout out to Benny jets, who's a real pervert. Runaway slob says, Louis. Can I bring a legit skinhead Nazi to the Creek and Cave show, or will Rebecca be upset? You do whatever you want, sloth.

[Doug Uram]

Be a little upset.

[Danny Polish]

I mean, how I remember, like, is he just a shaved head?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, does he look like dogs?

[Danny Polish]

Lightning bolts tattooed on the side of his head?

[Doug Uram]

His head? Yeah, yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Here's what I'll say. You can do whatever. You can do whatever you want to do. I'm just saying, you know, you might run into some problems. Sure. Hanging out with a actual legit skinhead Nazi.

[Danny Polish]

I want to know how many podcasts Love watches a week because Runaways love.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, he loves this stuff.

[Danny Polish]

Million. He calls in every show.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I do, yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, you got a lot of hunters that are shout out listeners of this podcast or Gas Digital in general, man. Yeah, yeah, a few hunters. I'm practicing. Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Jew hunters, Black centers.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So Crocodile Hunter. Loved it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Check out my other podcast as well.

[Zach Amico]

Love what they say about the earbuds.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The regs, story wars, and obviously the legendary.

[Doug Uram]

His wife never remarried. She's still in love with that guy.

[Zach Amico]

How do you follow the Crocodile Hunter dude?

[Doug Uram]

I don't know. River monster, that guy. That's a good step up.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he. How long ago did he die? Crocodile hunter?

[Danny Polish]

20 years?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Years. Sometimes maybe even more at this point.

[Zach Amico]

It was. Was it longer than that after the first Jackass movie? Because they shouted out his death on the commentary track.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I remember a tell when I was very early in comedy. A tell had a joke.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That he told at that Washington, D.C. theater.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, maybe.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Norm had a good one too.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. It tells us something like, how did you not see it coming? The. The. The stingray, The Puerto Ricans of the sea with. With their beady little eyes and razor blade like tails.

[Doug Uram]

Switchblade, like tail.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yes. Which way.

[Zach Amico]

Was like somebody asked, you know, who died? The Crocodile Hunter. I'd be like, yeah, he's only 43. That's ripe old age for a crocodile hunter.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's see Elmo. Elmo. In the racist live chat, Elmo715 says, I can't imagine something gayer than a serious Louis podcast. Shannon, do me a Favor. I want you to time out Alamo for 10 minutes right now. 10 minutes of no chatting.

[Doug Uram]

Wait, do you have a serious fucking podcast?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I haven't started it yet. I'm. If you go to my website, there's gonna be an email list prompt any day now. And I'm doing another podcast, which is a little bit more serious is the wrong way to put it, but just a little bit more, you know, just solo show me talking about the. That I care about, you know, without us, you know, making dumb jokes and, you know, pulling up racist.

[Zach Amico]

Problem with this show is it's too funny.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Watching people with family's final moments on earth.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No. Yeah. Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Watch a cop shoot dogs.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So, yeah, if you guys want. If you guys want more. Louis J. Gomez. Yes. Sign up for my mailing list on my website, Lewis Banks dot com. But Elmo. Elmo now has to sit back and not chat. Now you.

[Danny Polish]

How does that feel? Do this to yourself, man.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What a piece of. Let's see. Fat Shinsa says serious Lewis sucks. New podcast. That's a good name for it. I like it. Let's see. What are we talking about here, Shannon? What is this basketball player that was fined a hundred thousand dollars? What?

[Danny Polish]

Melody.

[Shannon]

So I'm just gonna. I'm gonna play for you this clip and then you can discuss it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's see. You said that last play when he took the shot.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah, we loaded up.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, he said, you loaded up. No, homo.

[Shannon]

That's it. And they. They find him, the maximum amount, 100k. $100,000.

[Doug Uram]

Jesus Christ.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Who is he? Is he. Is he a big famous one?

[Danny Polish]

Yeah, well, he's like the. I don't know if you. If you don't follow basketball, but it's like his. His dad was like this crazy dude, and he has, like, had these three sons, and he was, like, causing all these problems. And then he's. But he's like, I have these three sons are gonna be like the best basketball players in the world. Everybody thought he was a joke and then. But two of them, like, Lamelo is actually better than his. Another one, Lonzo. But Lamelo is, like a star.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Like, he's a star. Oh, he's like $100,000 dropping the bucket.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Like, he'll.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, who cares?

[Danny Polish]

I mean, I'm sure he doesn't love it, but he'll be fine. His next contract will be literally $60 million.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, for that, it's like. It's like finding me $20 yeah. It's not. Would I not love it? I. Yeah, I would say if. If. If I had to pay a $20 fine every time I said no homo. Yeah. Publicly, I mean, it would.

[Danny Polish]

He probably makes right now, like, 10 mil a year, not including endorsements.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's fine.

[Danny Polish]

It was. His dad did the Big Baller brand, if you remember that. His dad came out with these like. Like, basically, like, sandals that were like 800, and his dad was just like some nobody. His dad was basically saying how he would be. He could beat Michael Jordan one on one and all this stuff. Like, that's crazy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

But was that good at basketball?

[Danny Polish]

No, he was never a professional. Basketball, maybe. I think he maybe played in Europe or something. Or like. But he's like, you could never be Michael Jordan.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, that's the worst.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, whatever. You know, these guys. These guys have a lot of money. I don't really feel bad for extremely rich people. That. Or find a. A fraction of a percentage of what they're worth.

[Danny Polish]

He'll be fine.

[Doug Uram]

That's one Subway commercial. And he's all right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Also, you know, no homo is kind of, I feel like, pretty mild.

[Danny Polish]

You think they get him on pause? You think pause is no fine?

[Doug Uram]

Probably.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Probably not. I think pause would be no fine.

[Danny Polish]

No fine.

[Doug Uram]

No, there can't be because there's no. The whole thing. I think it's just a slur that they got him for. He just says pause. Everybody's gonna be like, what did he say that for? A lot of people don't know what that. That means.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

No homo's pretty blatant.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I say find him. Double it. You know, you gotta play by those rules. Yeah, I mean, Gotta play by those rules.

[Doug Uram]

Baby boy up. I don't. What the.

[Danny Polish]

It was just talking about, like, their defense or something.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He was. He had come on his mind.

[Danny Polish]

Oh.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh. He was thinking about jizz.

[Zach Amico]

I say eye for an eye. Don't find him. He has to do something gay publicly.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But, like, you know, appropriate not. Because all he said was no homo. So, like a quick peck on the. You gotta kiss a friend.

[Doug Uram]

And then he says, no homo. After.

[Zach Amico]

No, he's not. Or he's got to do it again.

[Doug Uram]

No homo. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Instead of handshakes at the end, you gotta kiss the other team on the lips.

[Doug Uram]

That's what they should make them do. That's a good idea.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What is this? Share story she lost her virginity at 14.

[Doug Uram]

She did.

[Shannon]

Yeah. So she just. This is like a clip from her memoir that she just released. So she said when she was 14 she was mad because a boy that she had kissed, quote like ditched her after. After they had kissed. And so her way to get revenge. I don't completely understand this was to have sex with him. This boy that ghosted her. She. She said that he kept asking her. Finally she said yes. And then afterwards she was like is that it? Are we finished? And then told him to go home and never come back. And she said she just wanted to make him feel as dismissed as she felt.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So she got him.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah. Wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Women are.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, they really are retarded.

[Danny Polish]

That is real girl.

[Doug Uram]

That's the stupidest thing. I better show him. I'll suck his Leave him with empty balls and send him home. I like that.

[Zach Amico]

I'll leave him with the story of how he took shares virginity.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Cher was toyed back in the day she was pop young cherry and Sonny.

[Doug Uram]

Bono was not a good looking dude. No he's very.

[Danny Polish]

That's what happens when you're famous. You got some talent man. You don't need to be.

[Doug Uram]

That's true.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Pull up young.

[Luis J. Gomez]

How old was she?

[Doug Uram]

Not the best skier he could belt out.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like she was pretty young when she popped off.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, she was still like 21. Did she also have an eating disorder too? Wasn't that like a big thing?

[Danny Polish]

That's why she was so hot.

[Doug Uram]

That's true.

[Shannon]

She was 19 when she got famous. Here's a couple of pictures.

[Zach Amico]

Wow, it's very pretty.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she was.

[Doug Uram]

She looks like an Indian God damn.

[Shannon]

Aaron. Sunny.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, look at her abs.

[Doug Uram]

And that was before like that was accepted.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah, like girls didn't have abs. Yeah, they had like.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she was toy Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

That poor guy, man. He must have Sunny Bono wasn't too bad actually. He kind of look at him.

[Zach Amico]

They just like a dude. That's what dudes look like.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, it looks like. It looks like Gregory Scarpa a little.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Bit can't tell what like dude like every dude looked like that. I can't tell what do if dudes were good looking like he could have.

[Danny Polish]

Been 20 or 50.

[Doug Uram]

He's 20 years old in that picture and he looks like a dude share.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I remember when turn Back Time video that was one which he's got the.

[Zach Amico]

Thong on on the boat and maybe.

[Luis J. Gomez]

1990 like I would just.

[Zach Amico]

And she's a little. She's got some years on her there.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think she's older at that point but I remember beating my.

[Zach Amico]

I bet she's older now.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I. I Remember beating my dick brutally. For that video, pull up the Turnback Time video.

[Zach Amico]

Audible's best of 2024 picks are here.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Discover the year's top audiobooks, podcasts and originals in all your favorite genres, from.

[Zach Amico]

Memoirs and sci fi to mysteries and thrillers. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment, like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 heartfelt memoirs like Supreme Court Justice Ketanji.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Brown Jackson's lovely one.

[Zach Amico]

The year's best fiction, like the Women.

[Luis J. Gomez]

By Kristin Hannah and Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen.

[Zach Amico]

Go to audible.com imagine and discover all.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The year's best waiting for you.

[Jorge]

How do you make an Airbnb a vrbo? Picture yourself in a vacation rental. You're wondering why you earn loyalty rewards with hotels, airlines, coffee shops you visit, even your local ice cream spot. But this vacation house gives you nothing when all of a sudden, look at that. You've earned loyalty rewards. Now it's a vrbo where each stay earns you rewards towards your next stay. Want a vacation rental with rewards? Make it a vrbo1 keycash is not redeemable for cash and can only be used on Expedia, Hotels.com and Vrbo.

[Danny Polish]

50 and turn it back time.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Maybe it was like 89. It was 89. 90.

[Danny Polish]

She got like 40. She got her boyfriend like 40 years younger than her right now, too.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Pull her up now, too. I want to see her now too. Let's see this. The way this rode up the side of her. I mean, I would like literally look how much side that is. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Barely Contained Lucy spent his whole life chasing side after this.

[Doug Uram]

He had that 90s ass though. That's terrible.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Keep it going. I don't care that we're gonna get demonetized.

[Doug Uram]

Okay. When anybody gets a chance.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Dude, look at that side puss.

[Zach Amico]

That is. It is bold.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that's before you saw that kind of skin, I think.

[Doug Uram]

Thigh gap.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let me see the. Let's see the ass as well. She has a long, flat ass, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What we would call 80s, but yeah.

[Doug Uram]

90S ass. 80s ass.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

If you had an ass like that, you would not be showing it off right now.

[Doug Uram]

That's eating disorder ass.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, that's pretty.

[Doug Uram]

What the is like Marilyn Manson's ass.

[Zach Amico]

Also? Fine with it.

[Doug Uram]

Appreciate.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, it's not terrible, all things considered. Are Those real sailors, by the way, do you think those are real sellers or they're actors?

[Doug Uram]

Those are actors. Maybe that one in the middle is.

[Danny Polish]

They might be rail sellers sailors.

[Doug Uram]

No, that guy's not.

[Zach Amico]

There's like a 12 year old.

[Danny Polish]

That Filipino dude.

[Zach Amico]

That guy's black water.

[Doug Uram]

So, sailor.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Real sailors or the actors? I bet that information's out there. I bet it's real sailors. On the. Is it the Intrepid?

[Danny Polish]

I don't know. I wonder.

[Doug Uram]

That's the SS Conway, it looked like.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I feel like you're being funny.

[Doug Uram]

I have no idea what it is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I remember we were. We drove down to go see Lex Luger slam Yoko Zun on the Intrepid.

[Doug Uram]

You saw that?

[Danny Polish]

Oh, you saw that live.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Got caught in traffic.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, that was awesome.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Never made it.

[Danny Polish]

Actually. That's one of my things in New York.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was the thing that was like. If I'm remembering this correctly, it was.

[Zach Amico]

A body slam challenge on the Intrepid.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And you got to just go. It was like open to the public. You didn't need tickets. Or maybe. Or maybe I won tickets. And we got caught in traffic.

[Zach Amico]

No, I think it was a promotional stunt for. Was it SummerSlam that year?

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Because then he. He.

[Zach Amico]

It was a bot. It was. If you could slam Yokozuna. And then he did the Lex Express and he was throwing the country in the red, white and blue bus. Yeah, that's before everyone couldn't slam him. Then he showed up on the helicopter on the Intrapid, slammed him, then lost to him.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Lex Luger, the biggest failure of. Probably anybody ever did that before they.

[Doug Uram]

Realized they couldn't carry the torch.

[Zach Amico]

Huge money. Because he's one of a couple people to be on Raw and Nitro the same night.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Sure. Yes, I understand what happened there. And it's part of like, the lore, but they really did try to, like, make him the new Hulk Hogan. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it was like, stunk.

[Doug Uram]

We were just.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Whatever. It was like the whole red, white and blue thing, it just became kind of. By the time that was happening, it was lame. It was very fucking lame. Very, very lame. And one of my favorite categories now. I watch a lot of this. I guess the Undertaker has a podcast now.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And Brett. I don't. Brett Hart has a podcast. But like.

[Zach Amico]

So Brett Hart just loves talking, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There's a bunch of wrestlers from that era from 1990s WWF. And they're all just doing interviews now. And they're all doing interviews about, like, all of this. That literally was the only time in Pro wrestling that I gave a. About at all, dude, me. The.

[Danny Polish]

All the dark side of the ring, literally.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So I get really. I'll just be like, on Facebook and then it'll be like an. An interview with the Undertaker. And he's just talking about, like, the first time he worked with Kane and, like, it's just. I don't know why. It really just does it for me. I just find myself watching Paul Bears.

[Danny Polish]

YouTube channel before he died, and he just talks about all this.

[Zach Amico]

He's got a couple really good shoots. Yeah. Have you watched Undertaker being scared of cucumbers?

[Luis J. Gomez]

No. What can we see? Whatever that is.

[Zach Amico]

It's a. It's a running thing. Undertaker hates cucumbers. His story is that, I guess when he was a little kid, oh, boy, he had a family member who made cucumbers and he ate like three jars of them and threw up. So he can't be around cucumbers. So Paul Bear just spent his life hiding cucumbers, putting them in the urn, or he would put them like at the bottom of an ice tea or like in his boots and shit. That's because when he sees a cucumber, he throws up. So it was just psychological warfare. Non stop.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I think I watched an interview with somebody about them. Paul Bear getting the call to be the Undertaker's manager and they called him.

[Zach Amico]

In specifically and they didn't know he was a real. Yeah, Mortician.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

But he was like. And he was blonde.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's like.

[Zach Amico]

Originally. Yeah, he was.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Very.

[Doug Uram]

I feel like a creepy real name.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What'd you say?

[Danny Polish]

Wrestling is like a very similar lifestyle to comedy, just like more brutal.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Some of those guys are like on the road 300 days a year.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Right. And there's no money in the beginning. Oh, it's like. It's set up with like, weird smoke and mirrors. Like, it is like you. You kind of have to like, have this swag. Like you're the. But, like, Every comic has 10 roommates and cockroaches and they don't bathe or clean their teeth. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's quite a thing. We're talking about that with Ric Flair. It's like in the beginning, he was like, I'm styling a profile, but he's got like five roommates.

[Doug Uram]

Exactly.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I took my private jet. Yeah. Rich.

[Doug Uram]

And that was fake money. And if he lost a dollar of it, they would charge him like, 200 interest on what he.

[Zach Amico]

No, Vince really paid Million Dollar man extra money to always be in a Limo. Get the. I thought that was throw money around at restaurants. Because didn't you just have the conversation on skanks about the Million Dollar Belt? Yeah, I think it was worth about like 28 grand.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, 40 grand.

[Zach Amico]

Something like in diamonds.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but it was all. It was cubic zirconias.

[Danny Polish]

Those still expensive.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

But the real one, yeah, I think is in the office, like behind glass.

[Doug Uram]

And that one's worth like 40 grand.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, million Dollar man was the best dude. He was the one where what he was the little black kid bounced the.

[Zach Amico]

Basketball and then he kicked it away from him.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Pull that up. Pull up the Million Dollar man with the basketball. It's one of my favorite things ever.

[Zach Amico]

So there's a theory that all pro wrestling bookers basically. Basically pick one or two people to be who they would have been like if they were in the ring. And they say that Vinces are Million Dollar Man. And there was a character called the.

[Doug Uram]

Patriot, I remember him.

[Zach Amico]

And they essentially said those were the two gimmicks Vince would have given himself. So Million Dollar man, all the up he did, that's Vince going, this is what I would do if I was a bad guy.

[Doug Uram]

Which was kind of adjacent to what he became. Yeah, yeah.

[G]

Oh, well, a Million Dollar man is here. As you can all see, I'm accompanied by my man Virgil.

[Zach Amico]

And in one hand, Virgil has a basketball, obviously shocking. The other hand, Chicken.

[Danny Polish]

Virgil.

[Zach Amico]

We have to film something.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Virgil cannot put down this basketball.

[G]

It's very easy to play basketball. All you need is a ball, a hoop, and an old raggedy pair of tennis shoes. Not like the expensive games that I play. They take Learjets, limousines, but that's the story. And then the other hand, Virgil has just a small sampling of the Million Dollar Man's millions. I know that looks like a lot of money to most of you people. As I look around the crowd, it's obvious to me that most of you would do just about anything for a little bit of mine.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's so funny. Like, just the. It's a great style of, like, bad guy because you sort of see, like, the way the bad guys are. There's certain bad guys that are like. They'll come out and they'll attack the crowd, like, so when I'm here in Pensacola, Florida, and this is the worst place you could ever be, I'm like, you. You lose their mind. There's such marks for it. It's so funny. And then there's the other they who they talk about. Was it in the Vince McMahon documentary where they talked about the. The coward.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Chicken heel, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's. It's such a funny, like, thing where it's like, there'll be Kane, who's a bad guy who comes out, who's like 7ft tall.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And it's like, like he monster heel.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He murders everybody and everyone's afraid. He's like flames. And then in the same regard, a guy who's also competing for the same title is a guy who will run away scared out of the ring. And it's just the theatrics are just so funny when you like. And when you're a kid, you, like, buy it all. You're like, oh, yeah, this is all loved it. They're all on the same team. But like, yeah, anyway, whatever. It's made me think of that. Go ahead, Shannon, keep on playing it.

[G]

And I tell you what, being the generous individual that I am, I'm going to give somebody here the opportunity. Look at that, Virgil. Look at the hands waving already. They all want a shot at the money. I'm going to give somebody here the opportunity to make some of my money. Now, all you got to do to make some of my money tonight is bounce the ball. Now, I know that's real difficult for most of you people because you can't chew gum and walk at the same time.

[Luis J. Gomez]

But all you gotta do is just.

[Zach Amico]

What a great job. What a great job.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I love. He's like, look at all these pathetic losers with their hands. With their dirty hands in the air. And all the people still have to go. Points.

[G]

Let me see. Okay, we got us a little basketball player right here.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, we do. Oh, boy, do we.

[Doug Uram]

I'm sure you've touched a basketball before, son. Doesn't he say something like that to him? A just the most innocent looking kid with his thumb in his mouth.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We all know what this kid's going to grow up to be.

[G]

Okay?

[Zach Amico]

I'm a junkyard dog.

[G]

Sean. Okay, Sean, can you dribble a basketball? You can dribble a basketball. Okay, Virgil, give him the basketball.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Can you point at your father? No. All right, I'm kidding. Jokes.

[G]

Let me see you dribble basketball 10 times. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

[Doug Uram]

He almost up.

[G]

8, 9, 10. Good ball. Okay, pick the ball up, Georgel well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Sean. If you can dribble this basketball 15 times consecutively without missing, look at here, I'm going to give you $500.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is so awesome.

[G]

You and your family can use $500.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, you and your family looking at you.

[Doug Uram]

Look at his mom in the background like, you better dribble that pole, baby.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I can tell by looking, looking at you that you can use a lot more than $500.

[G]

Okay, Sean, this is actually ready, going 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Oops. No, he didn't make 15.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Look at his face.

[Danny Polish]

He's like in therapy over this stuff.

[Zach Amico]

I think he's a plant.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[G]

Don't get paid.

[Doug Uram]

I don't know if he was a plant. Did you see his mom in the background?

[Zach Amico]

I think his mom worked for them.

[Doug Uram]

Oh, son of a.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, no, he's an eggplant.

[Danny Polish]

No, they don't.

[Doug Uram]

He's the him.

[Zach Amico]

Did the funniest is that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I heard, I heard that they gave him the money after. That's what I've heard through like, whatever. But it still doesn't matter. Like the whole thing of like the anger that people felt.

[Danny Polish]

Oh my God.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Like, it was so like pre Internet, everything was like so fun. Cuz you give yourself to it in the moment. People were so mad. Even if you knew pro wrestling was fake, that whatever it was seemed like, yo, you right?

[Danny Polish]

You still don't know. You're like, was that just like someone.

[Luis J. Gomez]

In the audience, dude, like Sergeant Slaughter came out and like threw down the American flag and joined Iraq during the.

[Doug Uram]

During desert.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's insane. Like, they were like, no, no, we're gonna really go there. It was such a cool time.

[Doug Uram]

Even the chic, he was getting death threats. He was coming out saying, this country sucks. And he's waving the flag.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I like, I like it.

[Doug Uram]

Sort of like we all still believed in the country.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The characters were like. Even though, like, I think the wrestlers are better now, I almost feel like it was almost like everyone was like more clearly defined as good and bad.

[Danny Polish]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And that was like, maybe it's being a kid, like you needed the good guys and the bad guys. It's like now if I turn on wrestling, I don't know who's good or bad. Everyone's kind of bad. Everyone's kind of good. It's like whatever happened with like the, the. The attitude era going into the whole wcw, like when NWO took over, those were bad guys, but everyone's rooting for the nwo.

[Zach Amico]

So what those guys created, Austin was kind of the same thing at first was a tweener, which was a good guy who acted like a bad guy. Now everybody wants to be a cool heel.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Back in the Day you could just like. I think as the Miz is probably the only guy who's just been a perfect bad guy the whole time because he's that chicken heel.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I would put him up there. There's a few guys that like really do the. Like, I, I'm a bad dude. Like and. But he also like lives it like he shows up in the suits, he does all the shit. Like I like that. I like when they live it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, yeah. When you watch the.

[Doug Uram]

Because now we have so much information that this is all. That it's all not real. Back then you didn't know. You're like, wait a minute, is this really how.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well now it's become like. Like a thing where my. Anyway, when I watch pro wrestling now and even when I watch like them talk about it or I watch like clips like I watched the other day. It was like a clip of the Undertaker and Stone Cold just having a moment that was sort of like an unconscious. It was like, like Stone Cold started like landing like arm drags on the Undertaker and like they were hitting the. They were doing like more like of a technical wrestling moment. It was like maybe a 15 second.

[Zach Amico]

I know what you're talking about.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Right. And it was just sort of like it was interesting and you just sort of see like whatever it is, like the athleticism and sort of what they're doing. Like I find it kind of interesting even though, you know, it's not real and even though they pull the curtain aside. Yeah. I don't know, I think like that side of it, it's almost like a behind the scenes thing that exists that like, you know, if you're not a little kid, you probably enjoy that or the stories and the fucking. You know, it's part of like nostalgia.

[Doug Uram]

Right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was such an important part of like when I was a kid of when I grew up. It was like. It was such a big deal.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah, but can you beat the fucking stories of then versus now? Like, I haven't watched it in so long. But back then you were involved in the stories and you couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, you're right. I think the other thing is like it was my everything on a Monday night. It was everything back and forth between WCW and. I didn't watch no WCW I didn't watch. I was, I was a WWF loyalist, back and forth. But it was. You didn't have Tick Tock or your phone to escape to. To remind you of all of the other things you didn't have like, you know, in order to fucking care about politics, you had to be a virgin. You had to go like it. To be a kid who's like, really into, like, you had to be like some fucking dwee.

[Zach Amico]

Like, you read the paper, real dweeb.

[Doug Uram]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

A real dork. And now, like, I think every kid cares a little bit about every social issue and whatever side it's on, you know, I'm saying it's just like the Internet is sort of like. It's whatever. They've, they've moved the line for what? Like, like with information. They've. They move like the line for intelligence. I think everyone feels like they're more intelligent than they are because they don't really have to work that hard for information. So you have information. And I think that is. We go, oh, that's intelligence. Having information in your head is a sign of intelligence because that's kind of how we were all like, taught. But it's not really. It's actually, I think, making people dumber. Yeah. You know, you could. What? The fact that you could. I was talking about this the other day as well. Like, I'm reading a book on investing right now, and it's a kind of an older book. I'm just kind of interested in it, you know, and literally every concept in the book. You can get in like eight minutes of tick tock videos, right? Yeah, like, you just get everything. It's just. Yeah, they've extracted everything that this really long book has been written about. You can just watch a few videos and sort of get the gist of everything. And does that make. Are those people who made those TikTok videos as smart as a person who wrote the book? Without a doubt. No, the people who are consuming those videos. So they're as smart as a person who's reading the book? Without a doubt. Definitely not. But I think that everyone feels like they're way smarter. And I think everyone is actually dumber than they even were 20 years ago. Because 20 years ago you had to actually go and search out the information. You had to use your mind library, critical thinking. You had to use your brain in order to figure out. Now you literally can just be like, oh, I know what it is, ChatGPT. Here's Google, here's the answer right here. And you don't have to seek anything out.

[Doug Uram]

That's also another problem because you have five different fucking perspectives on everything. You're not even sure which one's the right one and which one's the wrong one.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Doug Uram]

So it's like back then, you could read something and we all kind of thought, all right, there's a fucking food. The food pyramid. So this is how we have to eat. Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

It turns out it was fucking wrong.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Danny Polish]

Food pyramid was like. They're like. We made it exactly wrong, Right? The opposite.

[Doug Uram]

Like that south park episode. You fucking flip it upside down. So it's like, are we more retarded or were they more retarded then? Because they only had so many sources?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think information was the point that I'm making, though. Information is different than critical thinking, and it's different than intelligence. You know what I'm saying? So having information, we have way more information available to us. That information being available to us makes us dumber because we don't have to do any critical thinking in order to get the information. We don't have to actually figure anything out. We don't have to connect any dots ourselves. We can literally just look at our phone and go, I got it. It. All right, we're gonna wrap it up. This has been fun. It's a great show. Great show with the boys.

[Doug Uram]

That's been an hour and 15 minutes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Support Danny Polish. Support Doug Uram.

[Doug Uram]

Yes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Everything that they do.

[Doug Uram]

Stop bothering me. When I'm shooting arrows, stop bothering me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's see. Yeah, we're all done, right? That's all we need.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Anything else?

[Danny Polish]

I got a buggy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We're good. All right, guys, thanks. We'll be back on Wednesday with another great episode. Thanksgiving week we are. Wednesday will be our Thanksgiving preview show, and then Friday will be our Black Friday special, Lewis and Zach guide to Christmas shopping this year. So make sure you guys tune in for that. Have an amazing Thanksgiving, everyone. Good night.

[Jorge]

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