0015. Brendan Sagalow and Oscar Aydin

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Luis and Zac Show - Episode 0015: Brendan Sagalow and Oscar Aydin

Release Date: December 1, 2024

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Episode Overview

In Episode 15 of The Luis and Zac Show, hosted by GaS Digital Network, hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico welcome two vibrant guests, Brendan Sagalow and Oscar Aydin. The episode delves into a blend of comedic banter, personal anecdotes, holiday preparations, and edgy humor, maintaining the show's signature unapologetic and fearless style.

---

1. Thanksgiving Preparations and Challenges

The episode kicks off with a hearty discussion about the hosts' Thanksgiving plans, focusing primarily on turkey preparation. Zach Amico shares his meticulous approach to cooking, emphasizing the importance of brining and injecting the turkey with butter for optimal flavor.

• Notable Quote:

  • [32:17] Zach Amico: "I'm so looking forward to it right now. I'm just, I'm just counting down the minutes."

Luis and Brendan chime in with their own experiences and mishaps related to Thanksgiving cooking, highlighting varying family traditions and the often chaotic nature of holiday preparations.

---

2. Workplace Dynamics and Employee Relations

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around workplace humor and the dynamic between Zach and his employees. Zach vents about a recent interaction with a new employee, Dominic, expressing frustration over perceived disrespect and lack of professionalism.

• Notable Quote:

  • [21:25] Zach Amico: "I smacked him right in his face. And I said, Ralph. I was like, what is the message that's going to send to our entire production staff that we give this black office manager employee of the month?"

The hosts engage in a humorous yet pointed critique of workplace etiquette, showcasing their no-filter approach to discussing professional relationships.

---

3. Celebrity and Pop Culture Commentary

The hosts and guests share their opinions on various celebrities and pop culture phenomena. They discuss rumors surrounding P. Diddy and J.Lo, blending conspiracy theories with comedic skepticism.

• Notable Quote:

  • [04:05] Luis J. Gomez: "She's saving the gorilla."

This segment underscores the show's penchant for blending current events with humorously exaggerated theories.

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4. Controversial Tales: Butterball Turkey Plant Incidents

One of the episode's standout segments involves shocking and outrageous stories about misconduct at a Butterball turkey processing plant. The guests recount alleged instances of bestiality and abuse, questioning the authenticity and ethical standards of food production.

• Notable Quote:

  • [34:59] Zach Amico: "The workers at a Butterball turkey plant were caught essaying the like full blown essay essay."

The hosts express disbelief and mockery toward the reported incidents, using them as fodder for dark humor and satirical commentary on industrial practices.

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5. Relationships, Sexuality, and Edgy Humor

The episode delves into provocative discussions about relationships and sexuality, characterized by the hosts' trademark edgy humor. They engage in playful banter, making light-hearted yet controversial jokes about gender roles, sexual orientations, and personal interactions.

• Notable Quote:

  • [33:07] Zach Amico: "Don't stop trying to leave me."

This segment highlights the show's commitment to pushing boundaries and sparking conversations through humor.

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6. Thanksgiving Traditions and Anecdotes

Luis, Zach, Brendan, and Oscar share personal stories and varying family traditions related to Thanksgiving. From early morning parades to unique culinary methods like stuffing muffins and waffles, the conversation paints a vivid picture of diverse holiday experiences.

• Notable Quote:

  • [54:30] Brendan Sagalo: "Put the stuffing in a waffle maker. That sounds awesome."

Their discussions emphasize the blend of tradition and innovation in modern holiday celebrations, all delivered with their characteristic comedic flair.

---

7. Health, Gratitude, and Personal Reflections

As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts shift focus to expressions of gratitude and personal reflections. They discuss the importance of health, family support, and overcoming personal challenges, offering a more heartfelt moment amidst the humor.

• Notable Quote:

  • [68:22] Zach Amico: "I'm very, very grateful for my health."

This section provides a balance to the episode's earlier contentious and comedic themes, showcasing the hosts' depth and relatability.

---

8. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events

The episode wraps up with promotional segments for guests' upcoming projects and personal announcements. Brendan highlights his movie premiere and touring dates, while Oscar promotes his own performances. They also share humorous takes on podcasting logistics and Thanksgiving plans.

• Notable Quote:

  • [51:25] Zach Amico: "I'm gonna go to my dad's house and then we do a Thanksgiving meal with me, me, my dad, my sister, which is still turkey green, all that stuff."

The hosts express anticipation for future episodes and invite listeners to stay tuned for more unabashedly honest and entertaining content.

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Conclusion

Episode 0015 of The Luis and Zac Show delivers a rollercoaster of humor, controversial topics, and personal stories, staying true to its description as a "wild ride" of unfettered comedy. Through candid discussions and fearless banter, Luis, Zach, Brendan, and Oscar create an engaging atmosphere that promises listeners a unique and entertaining podcast experience.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

1. Turkey Preparation:

   • [32:17] Zach Amico: "I'm so looking forward to it right now. I'm just, I'm just counting down the minutes."

2. Workplace Frustration:

   • [21:25] Zach Amico: "I smacked him right in his face. And I said, Ralph. I was like, what is the message that's going to send to our entire production staff that we give this black office manager employee of the month?"

3. Celebrity Rumors:

   • [04:05] Luis J. Gomez: "She's saving the gorilla."

4. Butterball Controversy:

   • [34:59] Zach Amico: "The workers at a Butterball turkey plant were caught essaying the like full blown essay essay."

5. Sexual Banter:

   • [33:07] Zach Amico: "Don't stop trying to leave me."

6. Innovative Thanksgiving Cooking:

   • [54:30] Brendan Sagalo: "Put the stuffing in a waffle maker. That sounds awesome."

7. Expressions of Gratitude:

   • [68:22] Zach Amico: "I'm very, very grateful for my health."

8. Thanksgiving Plans:

   • [51:25] Zach Amico: "I'm gonna go to my dad's house and then we do a Thanksgiving meal with me, me, my dad, my sister, which is still turkey green, all that stuff."

---

Note: This summary aims to encapsulate the essence and key points of the episode while maintaining respect and objectivity. The content of the podcast includes humor that may be offensive or inappropriate to some audiences.

Transcript

[Lewis J. Gomez]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Lewis J. Gomez]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Oscar Aydin]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[Zach Amico]

You know what time it is? They say life a bit tighter Night boy we diving out. We got Zach Amico sending shots red dot he the sniper. Louis see your wife and open Micah. He go Piper Lewis and Zach. Then it came to attack spilling crack on the track Lewis and Zack snack spin straight facts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm trying to fight my mood right now. Sign in, sign into the computer. Sign in, sign in somebody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who me?

[Zach Amico]

I, I, I mean every turn this morning is fucking with me. I'm trying to fucking prep for Thanksgiving, Shannon. For some reason it's not working. You know, I, I guarantee Jorian didn't fucking re reorganize the board to make it easy for me.

[Shannon]

I started a new one. But I have to redo a few shattered to make sure I'm properly.

[Zach Amico]

Don't worry, Hori. It's Shannon's fault. Ah, I'm trying to chill. I'm trying to relax. I am the Puerto Rican ride. I'll say Lucia Gomez. He is the international superstar Zach Amico.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Feeling good on a Wednesday.

[Zach Amico]

Are you feeling good?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, man.

[Zach Amico]

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the racist live chat. Shout out to all the subscribers. Gas Digital.com is the Website, you guys. If you guys love the show, you should be subscribing. You should go to gas digital.com use that promo code. Laz. You get the uncensored and ad free version of the show. We censor the out of the show. It's a shorter show that goes to YouTube. You get the long uncensored full fucking show. Plus you get a bonus episode every Friday. And you get access to the racist live chat. A lot of people very excited that Sagalo's here today. People chanting 4, 4, 4. Let's see. Lewis is late and gay says Nicholas Graham bending the jets is a naked chick. As always, two incredible guests on the show. I'm being rude to everyone today. I'm very rude. Whatever the guy's name is, the, the employee that we have here. Shannon. Shannon, Shannon. Don't even tell me his name.

[Jorge]

Okay?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know his name, but he goes. As I'm. I'm just raging as I come in, he goes. He's like, you're doing anything nice for the holiday? And I looked him right in the face and I went, no. And then I walked away from him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You go, I. I actually decided to. Your mom and dad.

[Zach Amico]

I was so mad at him. I'm. He really pissed me off. He really crossed the line there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, you doing anything for the holidays? Yeah. We're actually looking to get new employees.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, can we figure out what. I mean, why he thinks it's okay to speak directly to me? Why there should be multiple people between me and that guy. Should there not be?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

See, this is. This is exactly what Ellen should have done.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She should have been on TV going, by the way, I'm a fucking scumbag to my employees. And then she'd still be on the air.

[Oscar Aydin]

You know what? You always start out a bitch, and then that way you never have to be worried about being out.

[Zach Amico]

Don't call me a bitch, you fucking gay bitch.

[Oscar Aydin]

Bitch. Daddy.

[Zach Amico]

We have an incredible show planned today.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'll be on the air. She wanted to. She fled the country because she's gonna get indicted on the P. Diddy shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, really?

[Zach Amico]

Is that really happening?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I really think that.

[Zach Amico]

Why?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's saving the gorilla.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think. I think she's been doing the shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Whoa, dude.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think a bunch of people are gonna get. I think JLo's going down. I think we're gonna have a ton of people the next year.

[Zach Amico]

We'll see. I'm excited to watch it all happen. I'm so fucking happy that I was not famous during any of that shit because I would have had sex with boys. Right, Oscar, Go on. We would have done it, you and I.

[Oscar Aydin]

Why are you looking at me?

[Zach Amico]

Come on. Gay guys.

[Oscar Aydin]

No, it's actually the straight guys that.

[Zach Amico]

Usually gay guys like fucking young boys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was all like, straight. Young.

[Zach Amico]

Young boys are hot. I mean, if you're going to.

[Oscar Aydin]

Well, it's funny is that people don't realize this, but, like, P. Diddy, like, here's the thing. Gays always know the gossip before anybody else. That's why it's like, everybody was always shocked when, like, all these allegations of every celebrity comes out. They're like, yeah, but gays already know this. Nobody knows gossip.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did he? That. That was a little bit.

[Oscar Aydin]

But what people don't realize is that P. Diddy Allegedly used to drive around, like, Harlem and the Bronx and unmarked cars and pick up guys.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Oscar Aydin]

Allegedly.

[Zach Amico]

I believe that.

[Oscar Aydin]

I believe allegedly.

[Zach Amico]

It's decadent. Manass.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's the nice. It's nice skin with the boys like fagua. Yeah. It's like.

[Zach Amico]

Ah. Incredible show plan today. Two incredible guests, ladies and gentlemen, you know and love them. From Sag Daddy Depod, a podcast that unquestionably would be more popular on the GAS Digital network. But now that window has closed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The windows. Never.

[Zach Amico]

The window.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We have. We get into this every time.

[Zach Amico]

The window.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The window is closed.

[Zach Amico]

It's closed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. You're a businessman.

[Zach Amico]

It was a tremendous opportunity.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's never. It's never closed. It's never open for me.

[Zach Amico]

Brendan Sagolo back on the show. Very excited to have him back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very excited. What up?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hey. Hey. Lewis is a businessman.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But you are a businessman, man.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a bending man. I'm a. I'm a bending man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're a businessman. I'm a b. I'm a b. I.

[Zach Amico]

Happen to be a B. Also from the popular podcast Dicks appointed. It sounds dangerous. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Oscar Aiden back on the show. You're the only gay that I allow into my direct life.

[Oscar Aydin]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, Zach.

[Zach Amico]

Zach's not a gay. Zach's a fake by. He's not even a real buy guy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm out of practice.

[Oscar Aydin]

No, I. You've got to have more gays directly in your life than just.

[Zach Amico]

Zach is a retired bisexual.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, they hung up my jersey.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. Zach stuck it to the wall.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Would come. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Zach was out there when in his younger freaky days, freaky deaky days, he was out there kissing boys and touching their wee wees.

[Oscar Aydin]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

That's it. There was. He didn't actually even like it that much. It was just. He was a freak. He was. Then he got married. He hasn't got. When's the last time you touched a man sexually?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Over. Whenever I met my wife.

[Zach Amico]

Did you cheat in your wife with a man, Zach?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Never.

[Zach Amico]

That is. Ew.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's got to be over 11 years.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. If you fucking cheat on your wife with a man. That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's gayer than being gay.

[Zach Amico]

Cheating on your wife is one thing. On your wife is one thing. Cheating your wife with a man.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I was trying to start a hip hop label.

[Zach Amico]

But look, I'm very excited to have everyone on the show today. This is Thanksgiving Eve, the day before Thanksgiving. Very exciting. Very exciting. Oscar, what are you doing For Thanksgiving. You. You don't have a family. They've disowned you. They don't want to talk to you. They don't want to hear your fucking tales of fucking butt sex every time you come home. That's my biggest problem. It's not even that son would be gay.

[Oscar Aydin]

I love how he automatically just assumes what I would be doing.

[Zach Amico]

I'm assuming exactly what's happening. If my son were gay, it's not even so much I would care. It was almost like when we get together at family holidays. Now we're all going around the table talking about what's going on in our life, and I have to, like, leave the room when he talks about his weird gay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It would be really funny if James came out as, like, a flamboyant I'll snack you directly. No, but how funny would it be if he was, like, stuffing. Yes. Bleak.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, boys. Oh, this stuffing. Oh, okay. I brought my own.

[Zach Amico]

Time for Thanksgiving sausage.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, he's just a real. About the wine.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

What is this? H. It's, like, so 1960. I saw Wicked the other day.

[Zach Amico]

He literally did go see Wicked in theaters.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I saw Wicked two nights ago.

[Oscar Aydin]

Do you want to know something?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One of the best movies I've ever seen.

[Zach Amico]

You love it.

[Oscar Aydin]

Are you serious?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. One of the best movies I've ever seen in my life.

[Oscar Aydin]

You want to know something?

[Zach Amico]

He loves it.

[Oscar Aydin]

Never saw it.

[Zach Amico]

I never saw the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not.

[Oscar Aydin]

I don't. I don't get it. For what? I just.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're on the side of the Wizard.

[Oscar Aydin]

I don't even watch it. I've never even. I never saw gay Linda over here. I've never even saw Jorge.

[Zach Amico]

I use the Notorious one regularly. Why is it not on the board? I mean, you're just killing me, Jorge. You're just, you know, a little bit. You kill me deep down inside almost every day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is that a lyric for something?

[Zach Amico]

It's when you're being a fag.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That sounds like.

[Oscar Aydin]

How far deep inside you? Like, eight inches.

[Zach Amico]

I never saw Wicked. I was thinking about bringing my son to see Wicked. He's already seen the play, and I'm thinking about getting tickets to see it again because I want to actually see it before I go see some fucking movie. I'm gonna go see the Broadway show because I'm a man. Men see the Broadway shows.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You see actors suffering for their work first, and then you'll see the Three Hour.

[Zach Amico]

But you loved it. You loved Wicked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, it was awesome, dude. And I saw it in like IMAX or RPX or whatever the fuck.

[Zach Amico]

So I don't even know of these subcategories are.

[Oscar Aydin]

There's 3D.

[Zach Amico]

There's no 3D. That's it. Stop with all the other.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't know what I have to.

[Oscar Aydin]

Tell the audience not to sing along.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, there was like eight people in the audience. There was something.

[Zach Amico]

That's how Bobby Kelly son introduces himself. I'm Max. He's a child. I don't know why I'm attacking him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's fun to attack children. Max is.

[Zach Amico]

James is gay. Yeah, gay James. Retarded Max. Why not?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, this is a very special episode.

[Zach Amico]

Love Story. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, there was. There was nobody really in the audience, but there was one woman singing one song which did bug me.

[Zach Amico]

The one that's like popular gravity that here's this. How gay I am. I've never seen the play. I just know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Listen to the soundtrack.

[Zach Amico]

I just know songs from the show.

[Oscar Aydin]

Am I the least gay person Right.

[Zach Amico]

In your gay face.

[Oscar Aydin]

Do it right now, daddy.

[Zach Amico]

Just so you know. I'll come over there. Oh, I hate like it. Cuz you're good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You do I hate porn voice.

[Oscar Aydin]

I love.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hate it. I hate when people do it. Except when I do it.

[Zach Amico]

I guess you'd like it that you'd like that, wouldn't you, Oscar? What if I smacked you right in your little gay face? You are coming everywhere.

[Oscar Aydin]

What a. Oh, then spit on me and tell me I'm pretty.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a.

[Zach Amico]

Stop flirting.

[Oscar Aydin]

I swear to God. Let me tell you something.

[Zach Amico]

Rape.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oscar Lewis is going to come out and like a year and it's gonna be so hard.

[Zach Amico]

I was accused of flirting.

[Oscar Aydin]

We are gonna. We are gonna have. We're gonna be like the power couple right now.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sick of your. Okay, I don't wanna.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Because you're saying to a woman here. And he can't not get female attention if it's in the room.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's sick of Oscar's on his dick.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Oscar Aydin]

First of all. First of all, I'm not. I'm not a. No, listen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, Jorge couldn't delete that sound, could he?

[Zach Amico]

That's my son.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, I'm not. I'm not about him because I don't do that gay. But I would. I'd Lewis. I'd you, Louis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But because.

[Zach Amico]

But I know you'd me, Oscar. Obviously you'd me. You sick. You anything. You're gay.

[Oscar Aydin]

I just. You.

[Zach Amico]

Because it's what we. Through the AIDS epidemic in the 80s because you guys were out there putting it in anything.

[Oscar Aydin]

Look who's Talking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Zach Amico]

It's a great movie.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's. That's the movie. He lost his gay virginity.

[Zach Amico]

I love these babies. Look who's Talking was a solid movie.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The beginning. Really gross.

[Zach Amico]

Holiday movie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One of them's a holiday.

[Zach Amico]

No. Is it a holiday movie? No. Look who's Talking. Look who's talking, too.

[Oscar Aydin]

Remember when Christie Alley was really hot one?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was when Tristan Alley was so hot.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She had a beautiful face. Very symmetrical, but she was. Oh, you could always tell she was going to be a porker. There's girls that. You could just see it in their face that they're meant to be.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She had the frame for it, like she was suffering to be right. Almost not.

[Zach Amico]

She's suffering succotash.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There's the girl from Karate Kid. A Karate Kid.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Cobra Kai.

[Zach Amico]

Cobra Kai. The daughter. That girl's going to be a fat Kristie Alley bitch.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, really?

[Zach Amico]

Pull up the daughter from Cobra Kai. You can see she's cute, too. Season one. She's a cute, pretty girl. Pretty eyes, pretty face. And you're looking. You're like, oh, there's a fat girl right in your fucking face. It's like Sagalo. Honestly, it's.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, here we go.

[Zach Amico]

Forget it. You know what? No, no, no, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come on.

[Zach Amico]

No, we don't bust Sagalo's balls. Saglo's exempt.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nope.

[Zach Amico]

Sagalo's the only guy. We can't fuck with him. No, no, it's fine. Saglow, pick the fruit.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Pick the fruit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, if we're picking the fruit. I picked fucking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, she's pretty. What's this? It's the truth. She's pretty.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she's pretty.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I see what you're saying.

[Zach Amico]

You see what I'm saying?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Girl dying to get out.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The clock is ticking, pie face.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, pie face. I mean, she's very young. There.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's her. That's her favorite activity.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know who was hot? Leah Remini was so hot.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think she's still hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, really?

[Brendan Sagalo]

The wife from King of Queens.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The wife.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. She's pretty.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, she's so hot.

[Oscar Aydin]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's right up my Christie Alley.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She's in.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't mind it. We, you know, we need this gun clock in a better place. The gun clock, where it was, where it used to be, would be in business.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think you're too distracted with the soundboard and it's making you not present.

[Zach Amico]

Your mother's a You could just make the sounds too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't need to. You don't need a sound. You go, I think your mom's a. A wahoo.

[Zach Amico]

Look, Thanksgiving's tomorrow. Where are you going tomorrow for Thanksgiving?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm actually going to be at the. The Macy's Day parade tomorrow, bright and early.

[Oscar Aydin]

Why?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because I'm playing. Yeah, Zach, we know you're not a blimp. I'm just walking through the brain. No one knows.

[Zach Amico]

We all think I'm Snoopy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I go, I hate Mondays, you guys. No, I just. My. My dad got a ticket. He asked if I wanted to go.

[Zach Amico]

And you gotta get a ticket to the parade. That's crazy. Well, that's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're gonna be sitting on that bleachers.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I take it for the seats.

[Zach Amico]

I wish you were swallowing bleach.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, here we go.

[Zach Amico]

That's the only sound that I know. Where it's at is the bottom right hand corner is Dunklock. Got it now. Thank you. Thank you, Jorge. You little. You. I'm in a mood today. I'm attacking and I'm lashing out. And I'm sorry about all that. I'm coming at you. And he loves it.

[Oscar Aydin]

Just keep it going. I don't give two shits, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I will say do, like, when you're mean to them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Oh, I love it.

[Zach Amico]

Every girl that I talk, they're like, like, hit me, be me into me, throw me into a wall. I'm like, can we go to dinner? Like, ah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's really when you start falling in love where they're like, oh, God.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The more.

[Oscar Aydin]

The more meaner Lewis is to me. The more I just look at him with like. I just like, undress him with my eyes.

[Zach Amico]

I have to do the opposite approach. Take your pants off. Come here.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Start eating his ass. I was like, can you not enjoy this, please?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is so. He doesn't want to me.

[Zach Amico]

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[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna go to the Macy's Day Parade tomorrow. So if you're watching. If you're watching it live.

[Zach Amico]

Horrible.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It sounds live.

[Zach Amico]

It sounds like you're going to a voluntary nightmare.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it will be a nightmare, but since we got the bleachers and we're sitting down and I'll be with my dad.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, you gotta have that memory.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I think it's gonna be really cool.

[Zach Amico]

Fucking 38 years old.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm 30. I'm 18. Okay. No, I'm 33. I'm actually 19 years old now.

[Zach Amico]

Do you remember being 19?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nah, not really. No.

[Zach Amico]

19 was so fun.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They were so fun.

[Zach Amico]

Dirtball. Just being a scumbag. Scumbag.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Without. Because it was also, like, at a time where I didn't. I genuinely didn't think anything was going to happen in my life.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

So it wasn't even like being a dirt ball. Like, oh, we're dirt balls. We're all guys. It was like. I was like, no, no. I'm going to probably be in jail or dead or in prison. So let me really go all out on this dirt ball attitude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I live the dirtball life in a fucking massive way. Oh.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I had remembered paying for a 40 and change and not feeling bad about it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God. I would spend 100% of my earnings on weed. Everything. My entire net worth would go to a bag of weed. A 40 and. Right. Some potato chips.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, when I was 19, I was. I. I didn't think. I was not. I wasn't like, I got nothing coming. I was the complete opposite. I was. I just started comedy. I was like, I guess I'll be famous in, like two years.

[Zach Amico]

You were doing comedy at 19?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I started comedy at 19. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Oscar Aydin]

I was sitting at home watching Golden Girls, eating macaroni and cheese. Years.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We said 19. Not last night. Night. Sorry.

[Oscar Aydin]

Keep trying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Oscar Aydin]

Keep trying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sorry, man.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, he was doing it with nine.

[Oscar Aydin]

Lewis is like, what the was that like? Lewis was like, all right.

[Zach Amico]

What the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I Don't know, man.

[Zach Amico]

That was crazy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, he was doing it with nine teens.

[Zach Amico]

There we go, Zach. There we go. Zach saves the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I unloosen the jar. I unloosen the jar.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, why is the Zach. The Zackle snakes up here. The Channel snakes down here. The Lewis snakes up here. The rattlesnakes up here. The Shannon snakes down here. Come on, come on. Obviously, you get the snakes together.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

If you look, there's a new one that I started, and it's. It's in. They're gonna be in order. I just have to redo a couple of them.

[Zach Amico]

Laz v2. Yeah, maybe I'll use this one, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, be a hilarious prank. Jorge is if you set up one of these sound buttons to say something like Lewis is a. Or whatever, and then it says, like, boom or something, so Lewis has to press it and then doesn't know what the sound is. Or.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, wouldn't it be a funny way to get fired to lose your job before the holidays?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Oscar Aydin]

I kind of feel like it is.

[Brendan Sagalo]

A very funny way to get funny.

[Oscar Aydin]

I kind of feel like you were gonna let him go before the holidays anyway.

[Zach Amico]

Jorge is actually one of the only irreplaceable people here. Jorge was the employee of the month last month. Here at Gas Digital, we have a. We have a three employees, cash, but we have, like, 15. And there's a cash bonus. Jorge received the cash bonus last month. Employee of the month. Jorge, what'd you do with that money?

[Shannon]

I spent it all on food.

[Zach Amico]

I just so you know, Ralph wanted to give it to Karen, the black office manager. I want everyone to know that. Wow, that insane.

[Oscar Aydin]

What did.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What did.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon and Jorge, would you guys have quit your job? Because that's what I said. I was like, guys, we can't give the black office manager employee of the month the first month. That month.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She wins employee of the month.

[Zach Amico]

If you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's too early. She's only been here soon. I'm just saying February's rolling around soon.

[Zach Amico]

If you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

If you probably assume.

[Oscar Aydin]

When she applied, did she ever listen to any of the episodes? Did you just cover everything up in, like, you know, like, saying.

[Zach Amico]

I'm hoping she still does. I'm assuming she doesn't know what a podcast is. They're not really, you know, 97.1. What is it, like a radio show on your telephone?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is like the Breakfast Club, right?

[Zach Amico]

Come on now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come on now.

[Zach Amico]

You said. But, Shannon, if we. The message that we would have sent to our entire production Staff. That's what I told Ralph. I was like, ralph, you are a more. I smacked him in the face. It was the first time I've ever hit Ralph during business hours.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

I smacked him right in his face.

[Oscar Aydin]

I love how he mentioned during business hours.

[Zach Amico]

And I smacked him right in his face. And I said, ralph. I was like, what is the message that's going to send to our entire production staff that we give this black office manager employee of the month? And all of them have been working here for years, grinding their asses off. Everyone's fucking trying to make more money. The first, the newest person, she. Her job is to restock ho hoes and coffee. And the first month, we're going to give it to her. I want. That's a crazy thing, is ho ho.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is her friends that she brings.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, how would you have felt? Shannon, I want to know how you would have felt.

[Jorge]

So here, I think where Ralph is coming from is we've had such bad luck with office managers and they been like, not great.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

So I think he's just excited to have a decent one here. And that's where his mind.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, we pay her with an EBD card.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's that?

[Zach Amico]

Food stamps.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's funny.

[Zach Amico]

She's really fun and she is a fan of the network. She was a fan of the network. The. We would never hire somebody to be in this environment if they didn't know what the fuck was up.

[Oscar Aydin]

Kind of be funny, though. No, they just walked by.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We've never done that before.

[Zach Amico]

Natalie. And Natalie almost quit. She said it. She was like, she. She came and she did realize podcast. And then she was like, yeah, this isn't for me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, there's a lot of rape talk specifically thrown directly to me. It's my first day at work. I'm 19. Oh, shit. She's talking about her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What does getting employee of the month. What is that like?

[Zach Amico]

Did somebody say candy mom five times? The fuck.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What did Jorge get? Like, what do you win, Jorge?

[Zach Amico]

What was it? 250 bucks.

[Oscar Aydin]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Cold hard cash.

[Shannon]

Yep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And you spent that all on food?

[Oscar Aydin]

Good for you, Jorge.

[Shannon]

I like food.

[Zach Amico]

Jorge, would you have been upset had we given it to Karen?

[Shannon]

No, I'm a big fan of Karen.

[Zach Amico]

You love Karen.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I think she's. Since she's gone here, she's improved a lot of things. She makes muffins that are very delicious.

[Zach Amico]

She does make muffins.

[Shannon]

And she's been very good at doing.

[Zach Amico]

Her job, which is pissing me off. What's the new guy's name? Don't even tell me. Tell me the first thing. New guy in D. Yeah. Oh, for. Dick. Douchebag. Dildo.

[Shannon]

Should we just call him New Dylan?

[Zach Amico]

Dylan. Do you like him? What's his thing?

[Shannon]

He's gonna be a new engineer. I like him a lot.

[Zach Amico]

Tell him to come here.

[Shannon]

Dominic.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you son of a bitch.

[Shannon]

My bad.

[Zach Amico]

I wasn't supposed to know his name.

[Oscar Aydin]

He's not even in the room.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dominic.

[Zach Amico]

John Hazard in the racist live chat says they love Karen. And let's see.

[Oscar Aydin]

Wait, can I do a. Can I do a shout out real quick?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Oscar Aydin]

You.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Lewis actually tried to hire Karen as an engineer, but that was autocorrect.

[Zach Amico]

That was good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That one. You have to think.

[Zach Amico]

Let me just say this. I'm not sorry for the way that I spoke to you earlier.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you even notice that?

[Brendan Sagalo]

He.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He gave you attitude?

[Zach Amico]

And I want you to know, you're like, what? Here, come over here. Come, come stand next to Sagolow. This is the new guy. He's been here for. I mean, how long have you been working here? I. I've seen you for at least a few weeks. I've been here like almost two months. Almost two months. Never known his name. They just told me your name and it really bothered me. You knew my name the other week. I knew your name the other week. If you ever call me a liar again, not only will I fire you, but I will actually physically attack you. And I'm not even kidding about this.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Wait, how long you been here?

[Oscar Aydin]

Like two months almost.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And then. And in that time, you haven't figured out how to talk into the microphone or not block the shot with your head.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, or disrespect the. The. The big wigs here. Me and Zach. Lewis and Zach in the morning. This is the third.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Technically, Karen's the big wig around here.

[Zach Amico]

The big wig. The big. The big what? Listen, stop with the fucking attitude. First of all, every time I come in, there's a fucking new thing. There's a new attitude. Why don't you learn to have a little respect for Zach amico? He's a fucking living legend here. For now, he's a barely living legend.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, he's a sweet kid. He means well. It's just you also appear and disappear quickly. Like you. You come in hot and it's just like a toy. It's like the Tasmanian Devil. Like, you just come in, then you do a show and then you're back out the door. So he hasn't had time to connect with you yet.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you.

[Oscar Aydin]

Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Discover the year's top audiobooks, podcasts and originals in all your favorite genres, from memoirs and sci fi to mysteries and thrillers. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 heartfelt memoirs. Like Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's lovely one. The year's best fiction, like the Women by Kristin Hannah and Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com imagine and discover all the year's best Waiting for. Also, if you.

[Zach Amico]

Also.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's like a racist shooting star. Like, you gotta be. You gotta be prepared for it.

[Oscar Aydin]

If you wink at Lewis. If you just, you know, every once in a while, you just wink at them and you're like, he'll leave you alone.

[Zach Amico]

Your gay is not. Doesn't fear me. Do you think I'm afraid of your gay? When you come on to me like that, what I actually, My instinct to do is to.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's not afraid of your gay. He wants it all over his dick.

[Zach Amico]

I love how sa. Here's what happened. SAG made that joke earlier. Nobody really laughed. Everyone sort of. And then Zach just made it. And everyone just high five.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay with that, though.

[Zach Amico]

That was a delightful little moment.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm okay with that.

[Zach Amico]

Did you like that, Dominic? Did you like that, Dom? Did you like sat. Now you're on Sago.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't.

[Oscar Aydin]

I don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm his only friend in this room.

[Zach Amico]

This is insane.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm his only. I'm your only friend in this room. The only reason you're still here is because it is.

[Zach Amico]

I'm too nice to these employees. Literally. This is my problem. I had an issue with one of my employees a few months back. Or a year or two year. I don't know how long it's been. A while now at this point. And then I got soft on these guys, and that's my problem. Shannon, is this not true? Have you noticed that I've become a soft little fucking bitch?

[Jorge]

No, I disagree. I think you've been considerate.

[Zach Amico]

Considerate?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's pretty soft.

[Oscar Aydin]

That sounds soft to me.

[Zach Amico]

No, I need to. We gotta start cracking the whip around here again. People used to be afraid.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No offense.

[Zach Amico]

People used to be afraid when I walked into this goddamn place. And now when I Walk in. Dom looks me right in the face and asks me what I'm doing for Thanksgiving. It's psychotic behavior.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's trying to move up the ladder.

[Zach Amico]

It's crazy. That's not how you move up the ladder. By trying to knock me down a peg. Dumb.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, he just mistakenly thought he was talking to a human.

[Zach Amico]

Good.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That is a thing you would say.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not a human. I'm a test manian. Devil.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What did he ask you? What are you doing for the holidays?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, doing anything nice for things. Thanksgiving.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And what did you say?

[Zach Amico]

You.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Zach Amico]

You cut. And I just said no, and I walked away from it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love this. This feels old school.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it does feel good.

[Zach Amico]

I need to. Yeah, this feels nice. Yeah, you, Dom, you pissing me off, man. Oh, you're pissing me off today. All right, get out of here now.

[Oscar Aydin]

Dude.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is good. And I.

[Zach Amico]

These are. These are the. These are the. The old times. Core values. Yeah, I'm bringing back the core value of abusing the employees. I've been too nice for too long. They walk all over me now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. That guy did not respect you. We should have freak off, Brad.

[Zach Amico]

Dog in the race. Live chat called him Dominic, which I love. Ah, hold on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not to be confused with dumb. A Nick, which is the office manager.

[Zach Amico]

Come on, dude, you can't say you have a career. I know. What are you doing?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're gonna have.

[Zach Amico]

Too late for us.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're gonna have to get rid of that.

[Zach Amico]

It's time to edit. A tremendous job editing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We did a. And frankly, it was a great edit. We didn't even know Sagalos ruined his career in one word.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, My name is McNamara. I'm the leader of the band. Remember that song?

[Oscar Aydin]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Of course.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So what are you doing for the holidays? What are you doing?

[Zach Amico]

You would never ask.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Something nice.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, I am doing something nice. I am having everyone over my house for the dinner. For the Thanksgiving dinner. I'm drinking wine. I haven't drank. I mean, I drank at skank Fest. How long. How long has it been? First of all, everyone was like, although it's gonna just talk about being sober all the time now. Fucking fat people hate when people get healthy. People hate when they. I don't talk about it because guess what? I don't think. I don't think it's a big deal to not drink alcohol.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You're gonna be a week short of two months without a drink.

[Zach Amico]

But before that, how long was it?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Quite a while.

[Zach Amico]

It was maybe two or three months before that Right. So I drank at Skank Fest, and I went on a date in Austin with a fucking sexy bitch, and I got hammered with her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you did?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. And then it ended with. I don't even remember. I have no idea what happened. I. I mean, I remember feeling your tits, but I. What I remember more is doing magic tricks for old people outside of the hotel while she was like, are we gonna go?

[Oscar Aydin]

They always say, you know, sober people aren't fun.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You go follow the ball. You have, like, all the cups and the.

[Zach Amico]

I was doing magic tricks outside of the Hilton and all Austin while this smoking hot chick was waiting to hang out, and I was just like, no, one more. They're really into it. So. But, yeah, I got hang. I got obliterated that night. But that's. There's been. Those are the two times that I've drank since I stopped drinking. So I stopped drinking with regularity. My rule is essentially holidays and vacation, and if there's a really hot chick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That, you know, says drink, and I'm like, oh, right, right.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Or an ugly one that you need to look really hot for the night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Oscar Aydin]

Wait, what is your drink of choice?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Come, come.

[Oscar Aydin]

So gay. Every day, just one step closer, isn't it, Louis?

[Brendan Sagalo]

One step backwards.

[Oscar Aydin]

Holding cheek.

[Zach Amico]

No, nothing gay happening. Temple Never. Never happening. No, I would drink whiskey. I drink bourbon, typically, but tomorrow I'm drinking wine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Oscar Aydin]

What kind?

[Zach Amico]

A little bit of red Malbec, maybe. Maybe a cab SAP. Something dry. Something nice. Yeah. Gonna get. Maybe get up in the morning, and when I put the turkey. Get a good workout in. Put the turkey in. And maybe start off with a little bit of Prosecco, maybe a little white wine. But as the day goes on, I'm gonna be sloshed. I mean, I'm expecting to be a problem tomorrow at Thanksgiving dinner.

[Oscar Aydin]

Do you have a red wine that you like? Like Coppola is very good.

[Zach Amico]

Sure. I don't know.

[Oscar Aydin]

Get Coppola. That's a good brand.

[Zach Amico]

It's okay.

[Oscar Aydin]

I like it.

[Zach Amico]

This is Gay Talk with Oscar. Welcome to Gay Talk with Oscar.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, just put it in your mouth.

[Zach Amico]

Stop making eye contact with me while you try to get me to you. It's not gonna happen.

[Oscar Aydin]

Just put it in your mouth.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Come here. Kiss me, you fake.

[Oscar Aydin]

How much would it cost for you to kiss a man?

[Zach Amico]

Don't stop trying to leave me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Already kissed.

[Zach Amico]

I've kissed a man for the price of five. Funny.

[Oscar Aydin]

Are you really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

Why wasn't I not there?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was hilarious on Them, I think. Don't they have that picture?

[Zach Amico]

There's a picture tattooed on somebody. And it would have been funny for me to kiss a gay man. Were you coming everywhere? There's nothing funny about that. It's funny for me, Big J to kiss each other while Dave freaks out.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Because we know the idea of Oscar coming hands free is pretty funny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

It'd just be like this like, like.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The fire hose and jackass. Like it's just like.

[Zach Amico]

So here's. My family's retarded as well. It's so funny that what I, what.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I live with because I know it's genetic.

[Zach Amico]

I'm making the turkey. Right. And my turkey last year was. I mean it was genuinely incredible. What I, what I do for my turkey. The. Everything from my base brine to the seasoning to the herb butter to the injecting to the. I mean I'm. This thing is something else. My turkey last year was crazy. And this year it's going to be even better because I've done it so important.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Is it a Butterball?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know what it is important to know.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What's the difference?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Shannon.

[Jorge]

He's referring to something that he suggested to discuss today. Where employees at Butterball are. There's. They're doing sexual stuff with the turkeys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, what?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Peter came out with an article that they have footage of employees torturing turkeys and they claim it's sexual assault. But they're like. They're just humping them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're just like having. They're like.

[Zach Amico]

They're just being silly geese. They're being. They're being silly turkeys. You think you said they're. They're humping the turkeys just to be funny.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

Were they actually sliding it into the meat?

[Jorge]

I have a little bit of video.

[Zach Amico]

Let me see.

[Jorge]

And then I have somebody's recollection of what happened.

[Zach Amico]

The workers at a Butterball turkey plant were caught. Oh, they're alive. Saying that like full blown essaying the turkeys. These men were caught on video putting.

[Oscar Aydin]

Their dinglings inside of the turkeys.

[Zach Amico]

Vajayjay. Before the turkeys were. Other men grabbed it by the neck. Can I just say rewind that for a second.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't believe that.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not even saying anything. It's. It's not. Nothing gay. Nothing even into that bestiality. Nothing about bestiality. Nothing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The bestiality.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing about any of this. I will tell you right now. You grab a turkey from its Neck while you're fucking it. Hot move. Unquestionably, we just saw a sexy fucking moment between a man and a turkey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How is that turkey not freaking the fuck out though?

[Zach Amico]

This is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't believe this.

[Zach Amico]

Because a fucking egg comes out of it. You think your little dick is gonna fucking beat a turkey? Egg ain't shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, look, it's your little fucking egg. Nothing to do with the size of my, my, my ding a ling there. But it's. They, they're like. Obviously.

[Zach Amico]

The turkey's like, is it a hidden cobble gobble? It's a show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, but.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Okay, I know Kegels.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The turkey was freaking out when the guy was chasing it. Now he. Now it thinks it's just gonna like be okay with him. It. I think this is fake.

[Zach Amico]

You think it's fake? Fake.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look at it. Let's watch it again, please. Look at it.

[Oscar Aydin]

It's fake.

[Zach Amico]

The workers at a Butterball turkey plant were caught essay in the like full blown essay essay.

[Oscar Aydin]

Putting their feelings.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That turkey's just gonna take that.

[Zach Amico]

J.J. before the turkeys were other men at this meat processing facility.

[Oscar Aydin]

Also, those are ducks inside of the turkeys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a duck.

[Zach Amico]

These are ducks. You put your dick in a duck.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's funny saying a lot of things about Butterball. They're saying they're the turkeys and frankly, I think they're ducks.

[Zach Amico]

That was definitely a duck.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They're just making turdicken.

[Jorge]

So I also have the interview with somebody that was investigating it.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see.

[Oscar Aydin]

Guy humped a shackled turkey one day. And another time, another worker was putting his fingers in a turkey's cloaca, which is basically her vagina, while the wine was stopped.

[Zach Amico]

Is this a different.

[Oscar Aydin]

Even bragged about their abuse. When people go to the grocery store and they see Butterball or other turkeys all wrapped up in plastic, they just don't know what happens to the birds.

[Zach Amico]

Before they end up in the meat. Can I just say, if you just assume that your meat has been, you just sleep better.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I remember hearing in like middle school that like in every can of like tomato paste, there's like three maggots and a half a worm or something that like on, on average, like, it's like, you know, through the, the processing. Yeah. And you, you make your, you make your peace with that. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You just go, I gotta make sauce.

[Zach Amico]

Don't I gotta have some sauce or like hot dogs or like, you know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

The pig's eyelids and the boogers and the inside of their. And that's what you eat when you eat a hot dog. That's when you eat. When you swallow hot dogs whole. Oscar. Yeah, like pills.

[Oscar Aydin]

I don't make. I don't do that because I know how to take a dick.

[Zach Amico]

Well, you're right. You sound. It's just.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, it's like when you see the Japanese. The Japanese. Fast train go by and you just hear.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You hear it after it goes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's like one of those oldtime mail tubes at offices with the way they used to send. We put it.

[Zach Amico]

Joey. Chin nuts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, chestnuts is still pretty good.

[Zach Amico]

Too, but, you know, chin nuts. Nuts on the chin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, That's. That's better.

[Zach Amico]

Sags.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're right. You're right, you're right.

[Zach Amico]

Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, so if I had a turkey, right? Free turkey, wrapped up frozen. And I said, you can have this.

[Zach Amico]

You're like, why do you look like me?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Don't talk to me or myself again.

[Zach Amico]

I really. You go, which one?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sagalo.

[Zach Amico]

I realize how much you look like a turkey Hoodie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I look like you. You guys are both hungry.

[Zach Amico]

You look like a turkey in a hoodie.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's Thanksgiving. Like, Saga was really quiet this year, spinning around.

[Oscar Aydin]

You got tan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They finally got that out of my ass, that plastic bag. Now, okay, so if I had a turkey, right? Frozen turkey, good for Thanksgiving, good for Christmas, whatever. And it's free. Louis. All right? I'm gonna give this to you free. But I told you some.

[Zach Amico]

But.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I told you some black guy at a. At a. At. At the factory came to completion inside this thing. Would you take it?

[Oscar Aydin]

It's free. Of course he'll take it.

[Zach Amico]

First of all, I have a shoprite shoppers card. I get a free turkey, okay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Imagine a world where you're not one of the Costco's guys in a world.

[Zach Amico]

Where you don't have. In a world turkey that everyone gets. Nobody's ever paid for a turkey, ever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay?

[Zach Amico]

Literally nobody pays for a turkey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The president comes on and he goes, we've got a problem. People are. They're the turkeys. They're eating the dogs. Nobody goes, everybody.

[Zach Amico]

It.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's inevitable. Like you're saying, right? You just got to assume that everyone's the turkey. Right? Right. That's what you're saying, right?

[Zach Amico]

You're trying to get me to save $35 to eat some black guys come. It's just not going to happen. I'm just not that hard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Then a white guy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, did he. It while it was Alive.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know if Diddy or did.

[Zach Amico]

He.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Was the turkey.

[Zach Amico]

Guys, we are.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're on fire.

[Zach Amico]

We are killing it. He's on fire also. If anyone. If we could just take somebody can make a gif of Sagolo swinging a bat. I mean, that was crazy. Whatever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was trying not to hit the mic.

[Zach Amico]

It's like he was changing shoulders.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like, I was like, in the old, old Star wars when they were using lightsabers.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Then, like, that's exactly what I was gonna ask. If they could put a lightsaber in your head. So was the, was the turkey while it was alive and now it's been processed or did he. The frozen turkey and they're still coming.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, he. It While it was alive. And it's. And it's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean, that's just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And you're still taking that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's like not kissing a girl because she blew you three days ago.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So you're taking that.

[Zach Amico]

My family.

[Oscar Aydin]

Do you kiss a girl after she blows you?

[Zach Amico]

Can you wait till I'm done with my statement? You keep on doing this. Oscar. You've been trying to take over. I'm in the middle of the state.

[Oscar Aydin]

I have not said one word.

[Zach Amico]

And then he pulls it to his own little entire podcast. Do I kiss?

[Oscar Aydin]

One question. He's like, you're trying to take over. If such a man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your first fight.

[Oscar Aydin]

You're such a man.

[Zach Amico]

If a girl. If a woman and only a woman.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Blows me and then kisses you because.

[Oscar Aydin]

He doesn't know it. If he's at a glory hole, I've.

[Zach Amico]

If I, you know, there has to be a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's the glory hole. You get sucked and then you go under to the hole. Go, now give me kisses.

[Zach Amico]

No, I, I. There's got to be a little bit of time before she kisses me. I mean, she's got to be like, how. How long is it until your mouth naturally sort of gets rid of it? I'm gonna say what I would say. I would wait. At least your dick. 20 it's my. But I don't eat my cum. I'm not a homosexual. I understand. For your perspective is every night you lay on your back and come in your own mouth. That's the only way you can sleep. We are men. We don't like the taste of cum.

[Oscar Aydin]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

And I bet you probably like the taste of.

[Oscar Aydin]

I love you say that while you're at Wicked, the Broadway musical. You probably.

[Zach Amico]

You probably like the taste of your own come more than other men's. Come. I will say the same way. You like the smell of your own farts, right? That's the thing. That's the thing that people say. They're like, this guy probably liked the smell of his own farts. Like, yeah, yeah. Who doesn't like the smell of their own farts?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I sometimes fart under the blanket and I pull it over my ey. I give myself a Dutch oven.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. I suck it up like a vacuum. I like it.

[Zach Amico]

I like my own farts. So.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So it's fine. No, but if I'm getting blown, your.

[Zach Amico]

Farts smell like, come, Oscar. So you probably love them. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, more calm. I love it.

[Zach Amico]

You remember this in high school? Just really being hateful to gay people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're back, baby. You're gay and you're gay.

[Zach Amico]

You're gay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Black guy came in your turkey.

[Zach Amico]

I got to come on your podcast, Oscar, with a bunch of gay guys. You could just shame me for being straight the whole time, you know, I.

[Oscar Aydin]

Don'T do that anymore.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They go, oh, your finger smell.

[Oscar Aydin]

I don't do the podcast anymore.

[Zach Amico]

You don't do Just get to kick?

[Oscar Aydin]

No, I haven't had that in months.

[Zach Amico]

Months.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, months.

[Zach Amico]

Months. Shannon, why don't you.

[Jorge]

Wow, they got it from the link tree.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, yeah, I got to take that off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Link tree is hard to update.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, it is.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I'm going to. I don't use a link tree.

[Oscar Aydin]

I like it a link tree for. It's easy.

[Zach Amico]

If I see a link tree, I'm assuming it's an only fans.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Anytime I see a link tree, most.

[Zach Amico]

Of the time, yeah, I'm like, okay, yes, link tree. Let's go, pig.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. Go right to their Twitter and see their free stuff.

[Zach Amico]

The free.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, I don't know what I. Twitter is the best place for porn.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, it is now.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Took over Tumblr.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, it's great. Well, Tumblr, like, had to go through this whole thing where they stopped, like, uploading things and, like, were banning, but now Twitter. It's great.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, I, I, you know, you know, you go, you click the link tree, you copy and paste the name, and then you go on Fapello.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, what's that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's exactly it. Fapello is like, I jerk off.

[Zach Amico]

I jerk off the Tumblr. It's when I push a girl down.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The stairs and she's tumbling.

[Oscar Aydin]

Wow, you made that connection.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not your lover. Don't get all rattlesnake, rattlesnake, rattlesnake. Is that not what you wanted?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're looking for the woman falls downstairs sound effect.

[Brendan Sagalo]

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[Zach Amico]

So here's what my family. So I, I, you know, my turkey, I got it maybe last Thursday, put it in the fridge for it to thaw. Days are going by yesterday. Feel the turkey. This turkey is a fucking bowling ball. Still hard as a goddamn rock, right? So I'm going, fuck, I'm gonna have to, you know, thaw this thing out, put it in cold water, change the water out. My fucking family, they're all. They're like, just take it out of the fridge, leave it on the counter. The counter. Every one of them. My mom, my mom, my mom. My mom's dead. My mom did not say that. My sister and my aunt both were like, just leave it on the counter. And apparently, if you leave a turkey on the counter, it will grow bacteria very quickly. After a couple hours, the outer layer is bacteria, and the inside is still frozen with Come. Oscar. Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, wait, wait. So what? So wait, if you just leave it on the counter, it'll, like, you can't.

[Oscar Aydin]

Well, that's kind of how meat works.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

If you leave it out for a while.

[Zach Amico]

But I mean. But they're arguing in a way where they're like, just do it. And I'm like, why do you want to kill the family?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

God, they're dumb.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

God. A little Thanksgiving mask.

[Zach Amico]

My aunt said that. She was like. She was like, I did that every. She was like, I would take it out on Monday, and then I would season it on Wednesday. She was Like, I did it every year. We made the turkey. I was like, well, Amber, you were putting the family at risk. She was like, did I ever get bacteria? Like, I'm wrong. I was like, probably all of our family are borderline retarded, and they. All the men die very young. Yeah, we all have, like, terrible diseases and cancer. It's like, no, maybe you fucking shouldn't be leaving meat on the counter and feeding the entire family.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What sides are you having?

[Zach Amico]

I'll bet that you can guess the entire menu.

[Oscar Aydin]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes. Got it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Gravy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Obviously potatoes. What? What? Greens, beans, broccoli, green beans, green bean, beans, broccoli. Salad, cold broccoli, marshmallows on top of, like, the. Yeah, I'm sweet.

[Zach Amico]

I would choose that, but my son's mother is a real snob about this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Oscar Aydin]

Doing rice and beans.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna smack.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Greens, beans, potatoes, tomatoes.

[Zach Amico]

Oscar, are you doing a plethora of dildos at your.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, so sorry. Oh, someone got a little. Little butt hurt with that question. Are you doing rice and beans?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Won't eat marshmallows on yam.

[Zach Amico]

She won't eat marshmallows.

[Oscar Aydin]

You're not doing plantanos.

[Zach Amico]

Zach setting up his own joke right now. Yes, he is.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nope.

[Zach Amico]

I'm really not.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm really not.

[Zach Amico]

Zach has thought.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm really not.

[Zach Amico]

Listen, I know this way this works because it's timing on podcasts. Just. Just this moment, just what happened, Right? Something was. Something was said 45 seconds seconds ago.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And I'm trying to.

[Zach Amico]

And then he thought of it, and then he's trying to tee himself back.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I really don't have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We gotta get back to the yams discussion. How do we do this? So.

[Zach Amico]

So she does not love yams, huh? No, Zach, she doesn't like marshmallows on yams.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That sucks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now, if he were to say she did what, what kind of joke would be.

[Zach Amico]

I know because I've been there so many times. You go, you have to repeat the thing that they said a minute ago to bring it back up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you know how those guys are. Those jerkies, blah, blah. And then we talk about a joke, so.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, the one I wanted to tee up was when you said you wouldn't take anything at your table that a black guy's cover. And I wanted to be like, well, then you're going to have to trim the guest list.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Mom's not allowed anymore.

[Zach Amico]

Can I have some more coffee, please? A little bit of coffee. Little bit of coffee. Let's get our plugs going. We haven't touched these notes. We're just crushing it today.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, I'm doing nothing for Thanksgiving. Thanks for asking.

[Zach Amico]

I. First of all, I asked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You did.

[Zach Amico]

But then I cut you off and I said, what, are you avoiding contact with your father? Remember I started making fun of you for being gay? Yeah, and then we started rolling. That's what happened. I did ask. You're the first person I asked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you really not doing anything for Thanksgiving?

[Oscar Aydin]

No, I'm gonna go to my friend for a little friendsgiving.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Friends giving cock.

[Zach Amico]

What friends?

[Oscar Aydin]

My friend Ava, she lives up in. She lives up in the Bronx, so.

[Zach Amico]

She'S making all of this up right now.

[Oscar Aydin]

What if I was?

[Brendan Sagalo]

The best part of gay Thanksgiving is every year you need less chairs.

[Oscar Aydin]

More four legged stools.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, I meant they die of aids.

[Oscar Aydin]

I know you hate that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, that really bugs me.

[Zach Amico]

Let's do some plugs, folks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, plug music Sago. I want you all to listen to Sad Daddy to pod on YouTube and Spotify and stuff like that. Plus, I have a special out on YouTube right now called Thin Lips and I'll be hitting the road very soon, so be on the lookout for that. Thank you very much.

[Zach Amico]

What's going on, Oscar? What you plug in, my friend? No, podcast, but. What, you got some stuff going on?

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, I'm actually co headlining with Casey Balsham. So we're gonna be doing some touring coming up. We just did Sol Joe's. We've got a few other places that we're locking in and confirming, so you can find me on Instagram and we'll post the dates there and then also I'm performing at the University of Vermont.

[Zach Amico]

Soon, I guess love it is that can make.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Got a new movie coming out. Bring on the Damned. Premiering at the Museum of Moving Image here in New York City on January the eleventh. Tickets are on sale right now. Come hang out.

[Zach Amico]

Come see me live. Go to my website, LewisOfSkanks.com just the dates for the rest of the year. Finishing off the year strong. Gramercy theater on December 11th with the regs. The Regs, Live stand up and a live podcast all happening in one night. Special guest Santa Claus gonna be on the show with us. Then I'm headlining the Dojo of comedy on December 12th. Thursday night, one night only. Then Friday, December 13th, I'll be at the EMAS Theater in EMAS, Pennsylvania. And then I'm going to Austin, Texas Creek and Cave December 20th and 21st. And then I have the Depraved on December 22nd. Those shows should all sell out. So get those tickets early, guys. And then I have a brand new tour, the Bring 5 Friends Tour, coming to a city near you in 2025. As I'm working on my brand new special. Special, I'm filming a special in July in Tampa, Florida. Those tickets are going on sale in December. But if you guys want to see me in January, I already have a bunch of the tickets up for this new tour. Rosemont, Zany's Rosemont. January 10th and 11th. January 23rd, I'll be in North Charleston, South Carolina, at wit's end Comedy Lounge. And then I will be at off the Hook Comedy club in Naples, Florida for the first time. January 24th and 25th. Lots of other dates. I'm going everywhere. Guys. The. The calendar. Calendar is really, really filling up right now. So look out for more dates. Look, check out all my new material. It's gonna be. It's the best special I'm gonna have. It's the best hour I've ever done. So please come support me on the road and check out all the other pods that I do. Story wars, the regs, and of course, the legendary Legion of skanks. All available everywhere you find your podcasts.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Does anyone else smell burning or is this my last episode?

[Zach Amico]

Are you having your str stroke?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Maybe. Did anyone else smell a little burning?

[Zach Amico]

Burnt toast? No. No.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's been a good run.

[Zach Amico]

No, I mean, that would be fun. If you died on the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That would be.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean, I think it has to be how it happens. Maybe it's just your new coffee.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So. I know I brought stuff and muffins to the show. A few years ago, I saw a new one that I think we're gonna do this year.

[Zach Amico]

We're not. We're not doing. We. We did them a couple years in a row. But my. My son's mother's a. A real snob when it comes to cooking. Like, her family is like Midwestern. Like, they just do everything from scratch. Like, everything. Like the pie crust for the pumpkin pies. From scratch. Yeah, they're insane. So when I mentioned stuff and muffins, she, she. Whatever. She.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Kai. Boshed it.

[Zach Amico]

She just in the most condescending, like, stuff and muffins.

[Oscar Aydin]

What's stuffing? Muffins. Muffins.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, when you do your stuffing, you put it in a muffin tray and cook it in there so that every side, every piece of stuffing has the crispy.

[Zach Amico]

Everything's crispy. You pop it out. It's delightful.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And then you don't gotta cut out pieces of stuff and everybody just gets a muffin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's awesome.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, I love Chris.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, really good.

[Zach Amico]

They're delightful.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I saw something this year that I think we're gonna try for the leftover stuffing.

[Zach Amico]

What are you doing?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Put the stuffing in a waffle maker.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, I have seen that.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, that is a good idea.

[Zach Amico]

I've seen that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That sounds awesome.

[Zach Amico]

That's fun.

[Oscar Aydin]

Are you going to, like, Then are you going to put like a. A maple syrup on top?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I was thinking doing turkey sandwiches on the waffle.

[Oscar Aydin]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Stuffing, bread. Love that. Yeah. I mean, look, I have. I've been going crazy at the gym and I've been going crazy with my diet. I'm. I'm going to eat so much food tomorrow, but I'm. I'm being like, as strict as I've ever been. Been.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

You look good.

[Zach Amico]

Thanks. I appreciate that, Oscar. Thanks, baby boy. No, yeah, I'm feeling good. I'm going to be in the best shape of. I love.

[Oscar Aydin]

Brandon just looks at me. He's like this weirdo, like, just already.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, but like, I've been. I've been really. I'm going to get wild tomorrow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. We're doing the green and casserole. The broccoli salad. We got obviously pumpkin pie, pumpkin donuts. My son and my, My son's mother.

[Oscar Aydin]

Are making wegmans pumpkin donuts. Really good. I gotta give a shout out to their, like, pumpkin. Their apple cider donuts. They're. It's almost like cake.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, I love an apple cider donut.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, so good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cider donuts.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, you know what? I'll probably bring for tomorrow. I have to bring something.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

So I gotta bring. I'll pick up some apple cider donuts for tomorrow.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

But is it a dry Thanksgiving or are you guys doing booze?

[Oscar Aydin]

She's not really a drinker.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Okay. It was blues. I say you should do that and then booze, whiskey, apple cider.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm so. This is the first Thanksgiving that, like, I'm really excited for because usually I just drink and usually I'm not like that crazy about that. I. Because I can drink and eat. Terrible tomorrow. Like, I'm just sitting here, like, just waiting to get through today, which is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Gonna, like, you're gonna like when you're waiting for a drink. Every time I was like, waiting to drink, it would be. I would go, I'd black out. Oh, it's it's like when the drinking just happens. You're having a couple, whatever, whatever. But like, if I was you, I'd be like, I'm gonna rage.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, yeah, it happens.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's gonna be a problem. Well, once the turkey's in. So I, I. All I have to do is I have to inject this turkey with butter and all the like the drippings a few times throughout the morning. So I can't get crazy drunk until like 1 or 2 o'clock.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right. Well, when you're sitting down to eat.

[Zach Amico]

That'S when you're like. Once that I do the last injection on the turkey is. It doesn't matter. Like, that's when I'm done. Everything is prepared. Everything. I was up at 6 o'clock this morning fucking brining this turkey.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jesus.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You should take a shot when that happens. When you do that, you go. And now we begin.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not a shot guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, me neither.

[Zach Amico]

But like, I don't need to. I like the taste of liquor. So a shot is like, it seems like just a waste.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The only thing I'll shoot ever is tequila. Because I wouldn't sip tequila.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And shooting tequila, I'll say as I'm saying it, like, I kind of want to shoot some tequila shot. Shannon. Shannon.

[Jorge]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

When we go to Jamaica, we're gonna shoot some tequila and we're gonna kiss deeply.

[Jorge]

I mean, I'll shoot some tequila.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon offered me yesterday. Well, it's coming out on Friday show the exclusive episode, but I gotta bring it up again. She said if she gets me as her Secret Santa, that she'll offer me just a deep makeout.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Jorge]

I said, what if I got you?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What if.

[Zach Amico]

Well, now it's you're signed up also.

[Jorge]

I do that. I do the Secret Santa.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, wait.

[Oscar Aydin]

Shannon. Can you put my name in there?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Can this actually be a Yankee swap? And I want to take Lewis's present.

[Brendan Sagalo]

A Yankee come swap.

[Oscar Aydin]

Let me tell you something though. Like, going back to like holding yourself and then going all out eating healthy and then have like. I'll do like six days of eating healthy, one day of eating.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

And it is literal. I will.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And eating Sucking Cummings.

[Zach Amico]

Mom.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I just eat one day a week.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Happy Thanksgiving, you guys.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, Oscar.

[Oscar Aydin]

I'm done. I'm done. You. You.

[Zach Amico]

Come on.

[Oscar Aydin]

No, I love you. No, it is hard cuz, like on binge days I'll go like Whole Foods has these hard sugar cookies that have hard frosting and So I buy 20 of them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

And then I'll just sit and eat all 20 of them.

[Zach Amico]

All 20 of them.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, that's, that, that's great. Oh, so good.

[Zach Amico]

Problem. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

I like the thing. I like it when it's hard in my mouth.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I know you do.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah. I want to be able to be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, oh, this is like when Kanye west said George Bush doesn't care about black people. And I'm Mike Myers going, sitting next.

[Brendan Sagalo]

To him, going, like, this side of the table does look like we went in the Brundle Fly machine and they redistributed the gay.

[Zach Amico]

Zach. Where, where are you going? You going to your girl's family?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What time do you guys do dinner? Because that's, well, we, I, I, that.

[Zach Amico]

That is a big debate. And I think in the northeast, New York, New Jersey area, I think it is, is a very specific thing. And I think in other parts of the country, they look at us like we're out of our minds.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think start at 4:00. Like, have people coming over around 4:00 and stuff. Right.

[Oscar Aydin]

Last year I went over because I went to Ava's or my friend Ava's. I was there at 3:00, and she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come at 3. 3:30. I got there at 3:00. Nothing was done.

[Zach Amico]

No one's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Oscar Aydin]

So I was like. And then we didn't eat. Yeah. And we didn't eat until 6:30.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Oscar Aydin]

So this year she's like, yeah, Hispanic.

[Brendan Sagalo]

People love, like, they start cooking as you get there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

And so, like, I, she was like, yeah, yeah. I was like, what time should I be there this year? She's like, 3:30. And I was like, okay, I'll be there at 6.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you're gonna show up. Ava's just picking her teeth. Sorry you missed out. Me, my, my family growing up was like, 1:00, 1:30.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Same.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Oscar Aydin]

Is this in the Midwest?

[Zach Amico]

No, this is here.

[Oscar Aydin]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

This was Rockland County, New York. We would do dinner at like 1:30, maybe 2.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then we would all like, like, just kind of like, chill out, watch some tv.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Watch the football game.

[Zach Amico]

Second dinner comes around five or six.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, second dinner.

[Zach Amico]

You're just leftovers. You're just going. You're going back. You're going back again. And then you would do dessert later on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

After second dinner. Yeah, yeah. I miss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's a weird family. Thanksgivings. I don't do that anymore. Like, I'll go tomorrow. I'm going to, like, a restaurant with my mom and my sister, my uncle.

[Zach Amico]

Aunt, and we're like, restaurant is pretty soulless.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's so soulless. But, like, we really don't. We're. Nobody wants to cook at their house.

[Zach Amico]

I lied to my. My. He's. My. My boxing partner is going to hear this because he listens to the show. And I feel bad because he was like, oh. He was like, we're going to. We're just going to. To. To Ruth's Chris the Steakhouse. And I was like, that's awesome, man. And I like, I really think it's so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just so you know, Jason, it's completely soulless.

[Zach Amico]

That's soulless. Crazy. You're going to do that with your family? Do you love them? Probably not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Looking at a waiter and going, I'll have the Thanksgiving platter. Like, yeah, just put. Just put the Thanksgiving slop in my slop hole.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, you got.

[Oscar Aydin]

It's never as good.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's never.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I'm going to get a steak because on Friday I go to my dad's house and then we do a Thanksgiving meal with me, me, my dad, my sister, which is still turkey green, all that stuff.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, your dad's making it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My dad makes it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, your dad's good. Good cook.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, he sucks, but he gets, like, a big kick out of it. And. And. And I can't cook, so.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So wait, you have to do a split Custody Thanksgiving at 33 years old?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I don't have a wife or kids, so.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So you do. You're gonna do the parade Thursday morning with your dad? Go to my mom, then he go to your mom's.

[Zach Amico]

Go to. Go to a soulless restaurant. Listen to me. And I'm gonna be honest. This is gonna sound bad because I like you a lot, but your mom's a dumb. How dare her? How dare her to not make dinner for the family.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She. Well, she never knew how to cook.

[Zach Amico]

I hope she hears this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She does. She's a big gas digital subscriber. She's hearing this using the promo code. Bye, guys.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Maybe if she knew how to cook, there would be one Thanksgiving she doesn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Know how to cook, and it sucks. Like she used to. Like when we were younger, she would put steaks and. And cheeseburgers in the microwave and just heat them up and feed them to me like a dog.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Eat off of a plate.

[Zach Amico]

So then you're going to your dad's on Friday? Yeah, the turkey and all that. That's nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

See, me and, me and me and his mother, we try to keep it all together for the holidays. We try to, you know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

But I'm having everyone at my house. It's gonna be good. I like hosting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, hosting is great.

[Oscar Aydin]

You're not, you're not a traveler. You like to host.

[Zach Amico]

No, I'm not a traveler at all. And I just, Whatever it is, I like to.

[Brendan Sagalo]

In Oscar's world, they're called carriers.

[Zach Amico]

I don't play. I don't like. I hate you being in somebody else's home. Yeah, I like, I like going to the fridge and when I want to go to the fridge, then when somebody go into somebody's homes, they're like, dude, make yourself at home. Take whatever you want.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're like, you go, you don't want that?

[Zach Amico]

No. If I'm making myself at home, first of all, I'm gonna put my fingers inside of the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I'm in my underwear. I'm jerking off the bathroom sink.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If I'm making someplace my home, I'm not paying rent till 10 days later.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So. No, but I like being sort of in my house throwing my robe on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You wear a robe while people are in your. Like Hugh Hefner.

[Zach Amico]

I will be wearing my Versace robe tomorrow. The entire time.

[Oscar Aydin]

One step at a time, isn't it?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Shirt or no shirt?

[Zach Amico]

No shirt. I, I wear, I'll wear under underwear, underneath it. That's it.

[Oscar Aydin]

I'm not that gay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Versace, it's gonna be.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's gonna be a thing where my, my son and my niece are going to have a conversation about how they saw my balls a few times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Great.

[Zach Amico]

Cuz I wear that robe a lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Amazing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

James is in tighty white. He's throwing firecrackers around.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I love, I like hosting too. You could set the mood, put on some music feature, go headline wonder.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for your appetizers? You may, you may recognize this dish from colleges and colleges across the country.

[Zach Amico]

But I'm like, I'm so looking forward to it right now. I'm just, I'm just counting down the minutes. I gotta go home. You know what, though?

[Oscar Aydin]

Let me tell you something about Thanksgiving is that it's always one of those things where it's like holidays that people. I, I never got into the whole lingering thing. People love to linger at your house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, lingering too long is a problem.

[Oscar Aydin]

That's where, like, if I, if I, it's in my home. And we've eaten and we've sat there and had a good conversation for a good half hour after we've eaten.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's an alcohol move, is staying too long.

[Oscar Aydin]

And then it's like. And then they're like, oh, I'm, I, I've gotten to the point now where I'm like, you can get out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

People lingering.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

People.

[Zach Amico]

I don't mind. I don't mind it, though. We do. We'll do, like, games. We're going to do Scrabble. I, I haven't played Scrabble in a very long time. And I'm a, like, when, when there's pressure on me. First of all, it's like, it's all like four letter, four letter words.

[Oscar Aydin]

I'm like, how do you spell pressure?

[Zach Amico]

That's. It's a lot of words. You get a lot of points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I just played Scrabble two days ago.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was so fun. I did great. I, I, I played, I played Ward for 36 points. Wow. Look at Ward.

[Oscar Aydin]

W is what, four points?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hit a triple word with a double. Double letter.

[Zach Amico]

Damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude, I killed it.

[Zach Amico]

Damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I like Scrabble, but you need the little, like, is this a word website. Like, is this cheating?

[Zach Amico]

You mean Google?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, there's like a Scrabble. No, there's a Scrabble. Yeah.

[Oscar Aydin]

That tells you how many letters?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no. That tells you, is this a usable word?

[Zach Amico]

No, they're. Words are words.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, but there are some words. You go, is V, W, Q a word? You know what I mean? Like, if you have something.

[Zach Amico]

No, the answer is no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fa. If I'm like, is FAA a usable word?

[Zach Amico]

Is it?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know. Let's check, shall we?

[Zach Amico]

Here's what I'm saying. You don't understand what I'm saying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I do not understand.

[Zach Amico]

You don't need a Scrabble.

[Oscar Aydin]

Specific conversations happening.

[Zach Amico]

There's a dictionary that's called a dictionary.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Put a dictionary in the, in the scrapbook. Scrabble board that I was playing, there was no dictionary.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, so it's a. Oh, it's an actual.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, so Scrabble dictionary. Fa. Yes, it's a word. There you go.

[Zach Amico]

What about fog?

[Oscar Aydin]

No, that's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sincerely put into fog and see if that's a ag.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, see, no points for you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Not a valid lifestyle.

[Oscar Aydin]

But wait, go back, go back. Faa. I thought that was. That's just an acronym. Acronym.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's a.

[Oscar Aydin]

An agency in the department yeah, it's an acronym, actually.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Some. They. They take acronyms in Scrabble. No, isn't that nuts?

[Oscar Aydin]

Are you serious?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, because I've.

[Zach Amico]

I used nuts.

[Brendan Sagalo]

If you play Scrabble on the Xbox, you can choose one of two. One where you can challenge words like some people play like that, or they have one where you can't enter a word unless it's in the dictionary. Oh, so you can either. Because some people play where you can put a fake word up. But if someone challenges you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I like the chat.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They can fuck you.

[Oscar Aydin]

Lewis has lost all interest in this.

[Zach Amico]

No, I'm not even. I'm annoyed because I just looked at the fucking traffic to get home. My. My life has been obstacle in so much traffic the past three days and it's gonna take me an hour and 20 minutes to get home.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Listen to music.

[Zach Amico]

I gotta do another podcast. I'm gonna be 10 minutes late for this podcast.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What podcast?

[Zach Amico]

We're wrapping this one up. Leisure to Skanks. We gotta wrap this. Oh, I'm freaking out right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, well, let's wrap it up.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, let's get.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's, let's. What are you grateful for?

[Zach Amico]

What am I most grateful for this year? It's a great question. You just come up with that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I thought of it just now.

[Zach Amico]

What am I most grateful for this year? You know what I'm most grateful for this year? My health. I really think that. Because I will. You know, I have. Obviously everyone's got family members who get sick and things that are going on. But if I wasn't healthy, it would overtake everything. Like if I was dealing with cancer or some sort of, like, disease or some sort of like thing. And I am a hypochondriac. And every time I go to the doctor, I think they're going to tell me that I have something.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And. And I know that I would really lose motivation to do a lot of other things in my life. So I think my health and just getting myself healthier and getting myself more fit. I think that that is a good. At the root and sort of at the core of a lot of the other success that I have in life. So, yeah, I'm very, very grateful for my health. What about you, Brendan?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I'm gonna say health too, but just that I'm not dead.

[Zach Amico]

No Heath Bars. You read it wrong.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Heath Ledger. I'm very grateful for. For the wonderful actors in our lives.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I guess health as far as I don't have cancer and I'm not having seizures, which is great. And I have a really good support system of loved ones and family members that I'm very grateful for.

[Zach Amico]

Wow. Wow, this is really gay. Oscar, you better be the manliest one here. What are you most grateful for this year?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get a.

[Oscar Aydin]

You know, I think I'm. I'm thankful that no more of my family members have passed away, because I had two last year. And then this year, my mom had a heart attack, and so my dad's been having health issues. So it's kind of like one of those things where it's like, I'm just.

[Zach Amico]

You're really bumming us out, dude.

[Oscar Aydin]

Yeah, I know, but we're all, like.

[Zach Amico]

We're all inspiring. You're like.

[Oscar Aydin]

You're like, listen, I'm just glad that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Time is a flat circle, and I.

[Oscar Aydin]

You asked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll stare at the wall thinking about my own immortality.

[Zach Amico]

And, Zach, what are you most grateful for this year?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Probably that Oscar's parents are going to die next year.

[Zach Amico]

It's true.

[Oscar Aydin]

I hate all of you. I just.

[Zach Amico]

Oscar. Oscar's dad killed himself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And because he heard this podcast, he goes, oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

God, that's my kid.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's his impression of him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we got to go. We got. Thank you for watching. We'll be back, back on Friday. Exclusive episode coming at you like Cleopatra on Friday. So make sure you guys subscribe to Gas digital dot com. Good night.