0015. Jim Florentine and Geo Perez

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0015: Jim Florentine and Geo Perez

Release Date: June 6, 2025
Hosted by GaS Digital Network

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Introduction & Guests (00:47 - 02:06)

Zac Amico kicks off Episode 0015 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo with a lively introduction, highlighting the show's signature blend of chaotic humor and unconventional guests. Sitting with him are two notable figures: Geo Perez from the Gate Podcast and Jim Florentine from the Everybody Is Awful Podcast. Zac expresses his admiration for Jim, calling him "one of the fucking coolest dudes" and sets the stage for a dynamic discussion.

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Diddy Trial and Pop Culture References (02:06 - 03:30)

The conversation quickly delves into the ongoing Diddy trial, sparking a humorous exchange about pop culture references:

• Zac Amico (02:12): "About a guy called the Punisher that was apparently there too."
• Jim Florentine (03:25): "Yeah, I mean, those rumors been going around for years with Diddy."

They touch upon how jokes and cultural allusions, such as the rumored "Diddy tattoo on his ass in prison," have permeated public discourse, drawing parallels to historical figures like Bill Cosby and his long-standing controversies.

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Jerry Lewis's "The Day the Clown Cried" (03:30 - 10:38)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Jerry Lewis's infamous unreleased film, "The Day the Clown Cried." Zac shares insights into the film's dark premise and the reasons behind its shelving:

• Zac Amico (04:06): "It's a story of a clown as an unsuccessful clown who then gets hired to entertain children in the concentration camps and walk them into the gas chambers. And it's a comedy and it's like, hilarious."
• Jim Florentine (05:15): "It's just like that. Just. We know we saw that. We don't need a movie about the thing we watched."

They explore the film's controversial nature, comparing its timing to sensitive historical events and speculating on its potential reception had it been released posthumously or years later. The discussion evolves into comparisons with "Life is Beautiful" by Roberto Benigni, highlighting how timing and context can drastically alter a film's impact and legacy.

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Tom Cruise at the BFI South Bank (15:20 - 21:22)

Shifting gears, the hosts discuss Tom Cruise's presence at the BFI South Bank event, where he was honored for his contributions to film. Observations about Cruise's performative nature and his meticulous attention to public image are shared:

• Zac Amico (20:03): "He just has to have the bag of popcorn also, too."
• Jim Florentine (21:14): "She's behind a wall and she says, yeah, no, me hard with her monster arm."

This segment blends playful commentary with genuine admiration, underscoring Cruise's enduring popularity and the hosts' amusement at his celebrity persona.

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Groupie Rock Star Game (41:08 - 56:31)

One of the episode's highlights is the Groupie Rock Star Game, where Zac, Geo, and Jim humorously speculate on the sexual prowess of various rock stars based on fictional groupie reviews:

1. Lane Staley (Alice in Chains)

   • Geo Perez (46:35): "He can't get hard, but because he's gay, I think he's closet."
   • Notable Quote (46:11): "Lane Staley is described as having a 3 to 4 inch penis and a sexual disappointment."

2. Billy Joe Armstrong (Green Day)

   • Jim Florentine (47:48): "He's probably in the kinky stuff."
   • Notable Quote (49:25): "Billy Joe Armstrong has the smallest penis of any rock star. His little Willie is only about 3 inches, man."

3. Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails)

   • Geo Perez (54:07): "He likes to be dominated once in a while and has mommy issues."
   • Notable Quote (54:33): "Trent likes to be dominated once in a while and has mommy issues. His penis is reportedly about seven and a half inches."

4. John Dolmayan (System of a Down)

   • Zac Amico (54:47): "John Dolmayan from System of a Down is described as having a 10-inch penis and being highly satisfying in bed."
   • Notable Quote (56:00): "Massive [...] Loves to receive oral if you can get all of it in your mouth."

The trio engages in witty banter, blending exaggerated humor with playful ribbing of famous musicians, showcasing their chemistry and comedic timing.

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Police Body Cams Segment (56:31 - 70:20)

Transitioning from celebrity antics, the hosts tackle the topic of police body cameras through a humorous reenactment:

• Zac Amico (66:50): "Listen, we're going to give you a ride home. You're going to be in the front with me."
• Geo Perez (67:03): "Have a seat in the car. I'm paying for the lawyer for driving under the influence."

The segment lampoons the strictures and sometimes overly formal interactions captured by body cams, reflecting on how policing has evolved with technology. The conversation highlights the absurdity and tension that can arise during routine traffic stops, all delivered with the show's characteristic irreverence.

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Closing Remarks & Plugs (70:20 - End)

As the episode winds down, Zac Amico wraps up with promotional plugs for his and his guests' projects:

• Geo Perez promotes his upcoming live show in Atlantic City.
• Jim Florentine shares details about his podcast and upcoming tours in England.
• Zac Amico encourages listeners to support Morning Zoo through gasdigital.com, offering perks like early access, ad-free episodes, and exclusive content.

The hosts express their gratitude to the listeners and each other, maintaining the show's friendly and enthusiastic atmosphere until the very end.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Zac Amico (04:06): "It's like a comedy and it's like, hilarious."
• Jim Florentine (05:15): "It's just like that. Just. We know we saw that."
• Zac Amico (46:11): "Lane Staley is described as having a 3 to 4 inch penis and a sexual disappointment."
• Jim Florentine (49:25): "Billy Joe Armstrong has the smallest penis of any rock star. His little Willie is only about 3 inches, man."
• Zac Amico (56:00): "Massive [...] Loves to receive oral if you can get all of it in your mouth."
• Jim Florentine (58:39): "Just cut it off."

---

Conclusion

Episode 0015 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo offers a rollercoaster of topics ranging from dark film discussions and celebrity antics to lighthearted games and satirical takes on law enforcement. With guests Geo Perez and Jim Florentine, the episode is a testament to the show's ability to blend humor, irreverence, and insightful commentary, making it a must-listen for fans seeking an unconventional morning show experience.

Transcript

[Zach Amico]

Hi, Zoe Saldana. Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us. Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in. You don't need to trade in. When you switch to T Mobile, we'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro.

[Gio Perez]

Plus we'll help you pay off your old phone.

[Zach Amico]

Up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it. There's always a trade in.

[Jim Florentine]

Not right now.

[Zach Amico]

At T Mobile.

[Jim Florentine]

I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma.

[Zach Amico]

That's okay.

[Jim Florentine]

I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer.

[Zach Amico]

It's lavender. I'm good.

[Jim Florentine]

Seriously.

[Gio Perez]

Let me check this pocket.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, mints.

[Zach Amico]

Really, I'm fine.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, I have raisins.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a mom.

[Jim Florentine]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Jim Florentine]

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[Zach Amico]

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[Jim Florentine]

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[Geo Perez]

New line 100 plus a month on.

[Jim Florentine]

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[Zach Amico]

Ported for well qualified. Plus tax and $10 connection charge.

[Jim Florentine]

Payout via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days credits end and balance.

[Zach Amico]

Due if you pay off early or.

[Jim Florentine]

Cancel C mobile dot com.

[Zach Amico]

Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Jim Florentine]

Wake up, it's time to go Zack.

[Zach Amico]

Amico's got a show Animals are here.

[Jim Florentine]

To play Choke some guests to start your day Till the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some.

[Zach Amico]

Beef Laugh is waiting don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky.

[Jim Florentine]

Grab a coff and join the crew It's a Miko morning, too.

[Zach Amico]

That's right, it's noon. That means it's morning to me. It's your old pal cousin Zach welcoming you to another edition of Zack Amico's Morning Zoo here on the Gas Digital Network. It's a mighty fine Monday here in New York City, and sitting across the table from me from the on the Gate podcast is our good friend Geo Perez.

[Geo Perez]

What's going on, Zach?

[Zach Amico]

How you doing, pal?

[Geo Perez]

Doing good, man. I've been following the Diddy trial, so I've been having the best time of my life.

[Zach Amico]

Nice. We'll get into it. There's some fun names on called on that. You think? Carl Winslow.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, that. That one's old. This the new one is Nipsey Hussle, the rapper. That got killed. His girlfriend, Lauren London, who was like in that movie Atlanta. She was like an actress. So supposedly, like, Diddy was fucking her while Nipsey was alive. And after Nipsey was alive, I heard.

[Zach Amico]

About a guy called the Punisher that was apparently there too.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, yeah, I didn't hear too much about that.

[Zach Amico]

I just heard people laughing about. We'll get into it. All right. And also with us from the Everybody Is Awful podcast. I hate to say a word like legend, but you've been somebody who's been so influential to me as a Jersey guy and just one of the fucking coolest dudes. Jim Florentine.

[Jim Florentine]

I appreciate that, man.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you so much for being here, man. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having me fucking. You're the man. Thank you. But yeah, that did the people, because Mike Myers, we looked at, they called, they might subpoena Mike Myers to this Diddy trial. And they said, I guess because there's a P. Diddy joke in Austin Powers Gold member, and they want to know how much he knew that he alluded to it.

[Geo Perez]

What was the Diddy. What was the joke?

[Zach Amico]

He's got a Diddy tattoo on his ass in prison.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. I mean, those rumors been going around for years with Diddy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, I think it's the same as Cosby, where like Cosby, everybody knew for Jeffrey, all.

[Jim Florentine]

They knew that.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody knew for 20 years that Cosby. Yeah, they did jokes about it on 30 Rock.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, right.

[Zach Amico]

Tracy picked up the phone one time and they were pretended to be Bill. It was Godfrey pretending to be Bill Cosby. And he goes, I ain't gonna forget what you did to my aunt. We got a bunch of silly to talk about today. This one is a big deal for me because I'm a huge movie nerd and I am about to tell you guys story you couldn't give a shit about. The Day the clown cried. You ever heard of it?

[Jim Florentine]

No.

[Zach Amico]

It is Jerry Lewis's lost movie.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, I've heard about this. That he didn't want release because it was so bad.

[Zach Amico]

So it is. And you know, I've talked to people that have seen assemblies of it where they took some footage and then storyboards and kind of like made a schematic of what the movie was because he shelved it. And for the people don't know, it's a story of a clown as an unsuccessful clown who then gets hired to entertain children in the concentration camps and walk them into the gas chambers. And it's a comedy and it's like, hilarious. Well, here's the thing. They said if it had been 20 years after it come out, it would be considered a classic dark comedy. But they made it way too close to when the actual Holocaust happened. Like, you got to give it time to. It's like. It'd be like drone. It's. It's like. I think if we saw a 911 movie, we'd be like, come on.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

It's just like that. Just. We know we saw that. We don't need a movie about the thing we watched.

[Geo Perez]

So when did this movie.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, when did they film?

[Zach Amico]

I want to say this is like 6,070s. And could you get me a 20?

[Geo Perez]

30 years after.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, I mean, 1972.

[Zach Amico]

1972. So it's long enough that, you know, most of the people that survive might still be able to be around to see it.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh.

[Geo Perez]

I mean, but now, like, a tragedy happened, and the victims will still be in the hospital watching a movie about what just happened.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they have a movie coming out about the submarine.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, it's like, within.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Well, that was only like, four people.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Or six, but yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So this is apparently a really, really, really dark mood. Like, it's like Taxi Driver level kind of weird and dark. And when he saw. He's like, absolutely not.

[Geo Perez]

So it's like Schindler's List, but fun with a clown.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Geo Perez]

And instead of trying to help people, he's going the opposite way.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He fully. He's like, this is the best job I've ever had. Because he's always been unsex. He's a kind of an asshole.

[Geo Perez]

So he's making, like, balloon animals for kids and.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

Here, take this in with you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

So probably gonna melt.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

Actually survive.

[Zach Amico]

Probably pop first.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, probably.

[Zach Amico]

You're checking balloon animals for gold teeth.

[Geo Perez]

He's trying to use the air to survive.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Can you make me a gas mask, mister?

[Jim Florentine]

That's probably not like, you know, I don't even think a kid wants to see a clown right before they're gonna die.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

They're crying. Their parents have probably just went in there and.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, because.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, maybe that's the other way.

[Zach Amico]

You have them at the end of the line, chase them in. You have a happy clown in the front and a scary clown in the back.

[Jim Florentine]

Maybe that's how they lured them in.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

With the clown. Notice the clown show starting in 15 minutes. Come on in.

[Zach Amico]

What else. What else are you doing right now?

[Geo Perez]

Why didn't.

[Zach Amico]

What are you waiting on, Lun? So he says Shelve it. Don't want it to ever come out. But he had made a deal where, so many years after his death, the Library of Congress was allowed to screen it. Only there. Only there. And it was like a very exclusive. Like, only film historians would be allowed to go. However, we have a gentleman and. Shannon. What country is he in?

[Gio Perez]

He's sweet. He's Swedish.

[Zach Amico]

Swedish. He worked for the film company and he found out they had of the. And this is 80s, I believe, a VHS of an almost complete cut of it. And him and his friends stole it and made a copy. And he's been sitting on it waiting for the anniversary to come up where it's now legal to screen. And he's like, I have almost all of it. His boss, who he stole it from, sends him. Hey, there was another six minutes that you missed. And sends it to him illegally. He's. Now you have the whole movie. So now this whole movie is ready, and he's apparently shopping it around.

[Jim Florentine]

So when is it allowed to come out?

[Zach Amico]

I think within, like, this year.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, what did I miss?

[Gio Perez]

No, that's just about everything I was trying to see. I found, like, a reconstructed version of it. And then I have just, like, this tiny little clip. I don't know if you want to see a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

Of course.

[Jim Florentine]

And he's dead now, so.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

He ain't gonna. His family's not gonna fight it.

[Zach Amico]

Awkward, right? He's got barbed wire in his nose.

[Geo Perez]

Wait, so he doesn't even have makeup?

[Zach Amico]

He eventually does.

[Geo Perez]

Supposed to be it's the ashes and blood.

[Zach Amico]

What is that supposed to be? Well, you see, sir, one of the prisoners used to be a circus clown. Sometimes he gives a sort of show. All right, that tonally.

[Geo Perez]

That was eerie, man.

[Zach Amico]

That was a Eerie as fuck. It's one of those things where, like. And this is the 70s, so all you knew about people was their Persona from the movies.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There were people like, new Jerry Lewis movie. Fucking sign me up. I am ready to laugh.

[Jim Florentine]

Right. That was his prime.

[Zach Amico]

That would have fucking. That would have crushed him.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, he would have been. And embarrass. But then the funny thing is, they basically made this movie. Life is Beautiful by Roberto Benini.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. Villa Bella.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Is essentially this movie.

[Jim Florentine]

And that guy, I think, might have won an Oscar.

[Zach Amico]

Won an Oscar.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

People have said, had they waited 10 to 15 years to make this tonally, because it's shot like a comedy, how.

[Jim Florentine]

Did Jerry Lewis have the power to stop this from being paid for it? Okay. He did it on his own then.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

That's the only way. Because the movie company is not going to listen to him. He doesn't like the.

[Zach Amico]

No, they've done it to a ton of people. They take the movie away from you.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Tons of directors have lost their own movie in the edit.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The only. The most fucked. This is so metal. You've heard of Alejandro Jodorowsky. He did El Topo Santa Sangre. They're like weird Mexican art films.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever seen the Marilyn Manson video for man that you fear? Yeah, that's the movie El Topo.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And he has a movie and he's fucking bonkers. Like, he's got a movie where there's a parade of skin lambs crucified. And that's just a scene in the movie. They don't talk about it. This is. That's just what it cuts to. He had a movie and the distributor was like, hey, this is too weird. We can't put this out. We got to re edit this. He took all the film in front of them, had a meeting, burnt it and said, if you don't release my movie, there is no movie.

[Jim Florentine]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Believe it or not, hard to work with.

[Geo Perez]

Jesus Christ.

[Zach Amico]

He was supposed to make Dune before the original lynch made it. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Because there was a version of Dune he was working on. Because my film professor in college was a PA on it and he said it was. It was impossible. It was an impossible. It was never gonna happen. But, yeah, I'm excited. I. This is a movie because people ask if I want to do it on my movie show, but I don't think it'd be fun. I think I would have to do it more for like a fax version than like. I don't know if I can make fun of it. I think it might be too much of a bummer.

[Geo Perez]

Wait, those guest chambers didn't look like.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, why?

[Geo Perez]

They know.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, sure, you found some humor in it pretty quick.

[Geo Perez]

You got to find like two Holocaust deniers and watch it with them.

[Zach Amico]

But. Yeah, I mean, Jerry Lewis is supposedly the worst.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah. Off. You know, off screen or whatever like that. He was a monster to everybody.

[Zach Amico]

Real nasty.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

Is that one of the guy. He was part of the Rat Pack.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Dean Martin. Jerry Lewis. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

He left his kids, all of his kids out of his will. He gave money. I think he gave all the money to like. I forget what it was. Something really stupid just to fuck his kids when he died.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He seemed like a real man, like.

[Jim Florentine]

To A cat or something like that. Just to screw him even.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Can you look up what Jerry Lewis left his money to? He seems like a real. The meanest shit I've heard about him. Have you heard of Sammy Petrillo?

[Jim Florentine]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

So there was a professional Jerry Lewis impersonator. It was a kid named Sammy Petrillo and that's what he did. He would go do vaudeville and he had a Dean Martin with him and they would do their act and somebody brings him on stage at a Jerry Lewis show. And this is like, you know, 40s, 50s, I believe. And he does. It kills. And Jerry Lewis is like, dude, you're great at that. Never fucking do it again. What? He's like, I will blacklist you from every theater in this country if you go up there and do me.

[Jim Florentine]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

So he kept doing it to the point where there's movies with fake Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. When they couldn't get them, they would just hire. I think it's Sammy and something. Their famous movie is Bela Lugosi meets a Brooklyn Gorilla. It's supposed to be Jerry and Dean meet Bela Lugosi.

[Jim Florentine]

Wow.

[Geo Perez]

It's great. It's almost like Bill Maher and Kyle Dunnigan.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Jim Florentine]

And Howard Stern back in the day. Used to always go after Jerry Lewis. Spent hours on him. Was great.

[Zach Amico]

Oh yeah, because he was so mean to people.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Because he do the telethon every Labor Day weekend. And he was always mean to all the actors who be go for like, you know, three straight days and he'd be all mean to these acts if they weren't good. You could see it on his face, you know, donating their time. He's still being a prick.

[Geo Perez]

Was he doing freak offs too? Like, did he.

[Jim Florentine]

I don't know about that.

[Zach Amico]

No, I think he just got off on.

[Geo Perez]

I think it's very like a 13 year old, 15 year old girl. Wasn't he married?

[Zach Amico]

You think of Jerry Lee Lewis, the guy who set up Great Balls of Fire. All right, but you know what? That's a good poll.

[Geo Perez]

I. I'm dyslexic with names.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's, that's pretty good. That's a pretty easy one.

[Geo Perez]

Was it a 13 year old?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He married a pretty cousin, right?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, something. Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

They gotta, you know, that happens every now and then.

[Jim Florentine]

Keep it in the family.

[Geo Perez]

That is true.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing wrong with it.

[Geo Perez]

Especially if you like, you know, when you got rich, you keep the money in the family.

[Zach Amico]

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[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Battle of Ghost. He was a heroin, a morphine act, basically by the end of his life. And, like, just real strung at, like. Like what's like mental asylum strung out.

[Geo Perez]

I have been there before, and, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He had to go away for a while. So those movies he's making towards the end, they're tough, you hear? It is.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, and that's 1940 heroin. That's like.

[Zach Amico]

That's him. That's Sammy Petrillo doing Jerry Lewis.

[Jim Florentine]

Even looks like him.

[Zach Amico]

When are you talking native language? And then they just found a drunk guinea to put next to him. Sammy and Duke.

[Geo Perez]

How old is he?

[Jim Florentine]

Looks young.

[Zach Amico]

Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo turn an island paradise into the zaniest mad house in the seven seas. Charlita puts a gleam. All right, I'm not gonna make you guys a trailer. Yeah, yeah. That's what trailers used to be. Like, just the whole movie.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

While a man spoke over it.

[Geo Perez]

I mean, some of the trailers are like that. Now you watch the trailer and be like, all right, I already know what's gonna happen. What's the point of watching this?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. But then when you see A comedy now. And none of the jokes were in the trailer. And you're like, oh, thank God they didn't blow the whole fucking. Like. That's what I loved about Hereditary.

[Geo Perez]

What's that?

[Zach Amico]

The horror movie with the little girl that clicked. The crazy mom. It was Ari Oster movie. And my former co host watched the first 20 minutes and turned it off. And he goes, that was all the shit from the trailer. And I'm like, yeah. I was like, what do you think happens for the next hour? And he's like, oh, shit, should I keep watching? I'm like, yeah, everything in the trailer in the first 20 minutes. I bet there's a pretty big fucking twist. Have you seen Hereditary?

[Jim Florentine]

No, but my friend just went and saw a Mission Impossible yesterday because, yeah, I'm going to see it. I go, look, I don't want to blow it for you. I didn't see it, but I have a feeling he's going to live at the end.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I bet he makes it.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, I have a feeling, like, he says he wants to end it just and then die. That kills off the whole series. He said this is the last one. He should die at the end.

[Zach Amico]

I've heard people say that he wants to die in a stunt because basically he writes out those stunts, right?

[Jim Florentine]

Supposedly he was on a plane in this one. Yeah, it was crazy.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, it was like those Red Baron planes.

[Zach Amico]

I've heard people say that. Suppose that he. He. He might have a fantasy that be killed doing one of them. And then that's like his last movie.

[Jim Florentine]

That'd be a good way to go.

[Zach Amico]

Out because he's fucking. You want to talk about a fucking crazy per.

[Jim Florentine]

So I always say he keeps the shit quiet, though.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's very. Well, I think there's a lot of NDAs.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, absolutely.

[Zach Amico]

But like, his life is so weird. So, like, Dana Gould told the story once that he was sitting in his office on one of the lots, right? And. And next door, Tom Cruise had an audition and he pulls in on a motorcycle, parks facing the building, two Hummers behind a park on either side. Security walks him in and then just the guy sits on the bike, pulls it out and parks it with the ass towards the building so that when he gets out, he can jump on it and take off and look cool like shit like that. Like. Yeah, did you see the thing with. He met with. They did a screening of Mission Impossible and he met with the AMC employees and he's like, now I need you to have a lot of popcorn. I myself have Two large bags of popcorn per film. And he eats like. Not a bird, but it's. Nick Kroll did this once. He called it the 70s movie eater, where you're like make these big exaggerated motions. So basically like, I'm not. He's eating popcorn like. Like this, like.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, he's doing one of them. Right.

[Zach Amico]

It's fucking. It's not the way a human eats. And it just makes me like he hasn't been connected to the world in. Ever.

[Jim Florentine]

And he probably doesn't even eat popcorn like that because. Movie theater.

[Zach Amico]

So I'm gonna act like a human.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Geo Perez]

He knows people are watching him. He knows that people are looking over. So he's just like, I'm on the spot right now. Try to act like I'm not like an alien or some, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. When the whole thing is aliens.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Shan, do you have him eating. Could you Google Tom Cruise of the pot? It's so. It is. Exactly. It's like an alien put on a human suit and went, pop. Popped corn. Smithers. You know, he might have heard.

[Jim Florentine]

He was going to the theaters and watching it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

And he was talking to people afterwards.

[Zach Amico]

Super. People up. Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

As soon as he left, he ripped his mask off and it was this alien under.

[Zach Amico]

Stuff.

[Jim Florentine]

Will appreciate that as well. Now we are celebrating Tom Cruise at.

[Zach Amico]

The BFI for the entire films across.

[Jim Florentine]

The BFI South Bank.

[Zach Amico]

And the bfi, he's being presented an award. He's just in a fantastic.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Event at the BFI South Bank. I'm sure some of you are in.

[Jim Florentine]

There, but sorry if you missed it. It will be going on our BFI.

[Zach Amico]

YouTube channel at some point.

[Jim Florentine]

And tomorrow night we are awarding Tom Cruise.

[Zach Amico]

He's eating like he's being watched.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. He doesn't eat popcorn.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. He saw people recording him. He's like, oh, yeah, camera's on.

[Jim Florentine]

And that's his prop. I'm in a movie theater, so get me a popcorn.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, exactly. It's. How do I look? Busy.

[Jim Florentine]

Yep, exactly. Maybe a Coke too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

But he's got the pot. He has to have the bag of popcorn also, too.

[Geo Perez]

Like, at first he's eating it like a little chipmunk and he knows that he's being watched, so now he has to be cool.

[Zach Amico]

Like. Yeah, yeah. He's very performative.

[Geo Perez]

But I watch. I watched the new one. They're pretty good. I watched all of them. It's the same. Know what I mean? There's a threat against the world of the country. Then Tom comes in, he's like, oh, I'm going to save the day, but I'm going to hold. I'm going to risk the entire world to save one person, like, even. And. And at the end, he ends up saving the world anyways. It's the same every movie is. Exactly.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. I can't go see those movies. Predictable. It just takes me out of it. I'm like, this is just a waste of time.

[Zach Amico]

I'll be honest with you. Fast and the Furious has got me hooked. Those are so. They're so bad. Like, they're so. They abandoned their own logic so hard that it just gets like, how much bigger could. They were DVD player thieves. The first one that worked at a chop shop.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

At no point have they gone to school in the seat there wasn't Fast and the Furious, Harvard. Okay.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Now they can control space stations.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They're like hacking into the mainframe and flying spaceships. They were stealing DVDs nine years ago.

[Jim Florentine]

How many they're up to now? Ten.

[Zach Amico]

And then they.

[Jim Florentine]

That's got to be the longest franchise.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, no.

[Jim Florentine]

Beside the Star. Star wars stuff is probably more than 10, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, mainstream. Yeah. No, there's a lot of the witchcraft movies. Friday 13th might be it. Well, yeah, because Jason X and then.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, right, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. There's a few horror ones that go pretty hard. Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

They remake a horror every two years. It's like, all right, we're going to remake Jason, we're going to remake Freddy Chucky.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, fuck it. Fazbears does this thing that I love where they retcon. So they'll show a scene from one of the earlier movies and then just pan. And you find out another celebrity had been there that we just didn't meet in the other movies. So we're like, also, my brother Jason Momoa was here. And then another movie, like, also, we were being watched by your brother John Cena. And it's just how many celebrities they could, like Pete Davidson, like, anybody famous will just walk into it.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. That's what Mission Impossible is.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

They take the hottest actress of the time, the best. Like. Like every. They always change the CIA director to, like, this would be like Laurence Fishburne. Now all of a sudden, it's Angela Bassett. It's all the top actors. The only good thing about that movie was especially the last one is they made AI the villain. And like, you know, when you watch Terminator, the Matrix, you're like, oh, that scared you a little bit. This really. With my head, because it was showing I don't want to, like, ruin the movie too much, but it's just like AI breaching security all across the world.

[Zach Amico]

I gotcha.

[Geo Perez]

And like, like distorting reality, basically. And they're like, oh, whoever controls AI controls the truth. And that started fucking with my head.

[Jim Florentine]

Because I'm like, you know, how high were you?

[Geo Perez]

I really.

[Zach Amico]

The other thing they do in those movies, I feel like I'm not crazy.

[Jim Florentine]

Jim, I'm telling you, I get it.

[Zach Amico]

I get those kind of movies are the big paycheck for somebody who just won an Oscar. So, like, Christoph Waltz, nobody knew who he was. He does Inglourious Basterds. It's fucking huge hit. He's got to be a villain then. Of course he's a villain in fucking. These kind of movies. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yeah, you win an Oscar, then you do. Usually a bad action movie and a kids movie, and they always suck dick.

[Jim Florentine]

And he did do something. He did an action. Wasn't he in some Christoph Waltz?

[Zach Amico]

Had a couple. He was.

[Jim Florentine]

No, I'm talking about Philip Seymour Hoffman.

[Geo Perez]

He was in Michigan.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he was in one of the Mission.

[Jim Florentine]

That's right. Yeah. Y. Mr.

[Geo Perez]

Puzzle 3.

[Jim Florentine]

He was. You ever see Happiness? Him and Happiness.

[Zach Amico]

I fucking love that.

[Jim Florentine]

One of my favorite, my top three best movies of all time.

[Zach Amico]

I talk about happiness so fucking much. It just. It just came out on Steelbook because it's never been on Blu Ray before.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

And, dude, it's.

[Geo Perez]

What's that about?

[Zach Amico]

So it's Todd Salons. It's a Todd Salons movie. And it's the easiest way to say it's. It's three sisters and their shitty lives, and it gets as dark as dark fucking gets.

[Geo Perez]

So it's like a drama.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's a black. It's labeled a black comedy.

[Geo Perez]

All right, but.

[Jim Florentine]

Think of this one line like the. The father is molesting, like, kids on his son's baseball team. They're like 12 or 13.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, I'm in. That's.

[Jim Florentine]

And when he finds out, the kid finds out, he's like, dad. You know, he's all, you know, bummed out. He's like, dad, would. Would you. Me. And he goes, no, son, I'd probably just jerk you off. I was. I was laughing in the movie theater. People looking at me like, what? One guy? What are you laughing at? It was one of the greatest lines ever. No, I'd probably just jerk you off, dude.

[Zach Amico]

It's. That's. That. That's the movie, dude. Philip Seymour Hoffman plays A. Oh, I.

[Geo Perez]

Thought when you meant black comedy, I thought like Lunel.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, it was not. It's not Medea's happiness, trust me.

[Geo Perez]

No, it's precious.

[Zach Amico]

I was like, she molested daughter, dude. It's Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a like a lewd phone caller.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And what he does is he comes on the wall and pastes your phone number onto the wall with come.

[Geo Perez]

That's how I used to hang pictures in jail.

[Zach Amico]

And it's my. That's his best role. It's that and Boogie Nights.

[Geo Perez]

He was a creep. He was the one. He's like, yo, let me see it. Jerk off in front of me.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna bring for an idiot. And this he.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, when he's crying on the drive.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a idiot in happiness. He calls this fat lady and he goes, I'm gonna come in your ears.

[Geo Perez]

He killed it in Red Dragon too. That's the first time I've that I've seen him before.

[Jim Florentine]

The devil knows your daddy's great into.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Yes.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, he's awesome in that and that movie where he's huffing. Yeah, that was pretty good.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, it was.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, let's not forget he coined the phrase sharded in movie. Along came Paulie.

[Zach Amico]

I did not know that.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, that's the first time I've ever heard that. And then it became popular after that because he's like sharded. He's like what's that? He's like when you fart and a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

American Horror Story taught me the term Negress. Negress, that was my favorite. Kathy Bates is complaining about this late one of the slaves and she. And she was this hot headed Negress. But yeah, if you haven't seen happiness, it's the fucking. It's John.

[Geo Perez]

I'm checking it out after that.

[Zach Amico]

Seymour Hoffman. John. Love it. Opens it. The dad from Trick or treat is the pedophile.

[Jim Florentine]

So great.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude, he's. He's so. It's. Dude, there's a scene where he's buying like little kid magazines and he's outside of a baseball practice jerking off in the car like. And he's a principal. He's like a principal or a teacher. Yeah, it's fucking.

[Jim Florentine]

And he's making like sandwiches at the or desserts. I forget what it is for the kids that are staying over. His friends, the little boys. So he's in the kitchen put, you know, dosing them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's and he gets caught. Not at the end of the movie. He gets caught within the plot of the movie.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And you got to sit in it.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, I'm going to watch it again tonight. No, I went. Saw that in the theater when it came out because I was a big fan of welcome to the Dollhouse.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

That Todd did. So. And happy is just another level welcome. Dolls was. Was good. But happiness blows it away.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. We always. We used to call the girl from the Dollhouse Wiener Dog.

[Jim Florentine]

Wiener Dog. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because then she showed up in Hostel 2.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And she's Randy's sister in Scream 3. And then Randy's kids in the later Scream. Excuse me. Randy's nieces and nephews are like 7ft tall and black, so Wiener Dog was getting it. Man. Wiener Dog was getting pumped out.

[Geo Perez]

Should I be high when I watch this movie?

[Jim Florentine]

I wouldn't watch it with your girl.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Geo Perez]

Not my daughter either. No, not the kids.

[Zach Amico]

Not unless you're trying to tell her something.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, baby.

[Geo Perez]

Listen to this cautionary tale.

[Zach Amico]

There's some movies I have accepted that Mrs. Amigo is not going to sit there. Devil's Reject, she can't do. And that's my favorite movie. And then Bone Tomahawk. Really, like, there's something. It's already hard enough to get a chick to sit through a Western. Like a real cowboys and Indians type thing.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

And then Bo Tom. Have you seen. No, Dude Bottom. So it's Kurt Russell. It's. It's pretty. It's last couple years, there is village or whatever, Old west, new sort of town. Indian invasion. Kidnap somebody's wife. They got to go save her. But it's in a timeline where the Indians are already, like, done with us. Like, they're our friends already. And so the Indians in the movie wear, like, suits with, like, bolo ties and they have, like, braided hair and speak English. And they're like, those are not of our people. They are cannibals. You do not venture into their territory. And the. The Indians are so fucked. They all have their voice boxes taken out and they have like, scream whistles. So they only, like, make like, those big scream sounds.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it is two hours of them trudging to go and find this village as they're dying. You know, they're. They're dying of exposure. And then when they get there, boy, do they lose.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, really?

[Zach Amico]

They lose fantastic. Fantastically. And it takes forever. And they all watch everybody. And I mean, like, they. They vivisect a guy, so they cut him with a Tomahawk upside down. So asshole first and then they take somebody's canteen, put it in the fire, and then shove it through their stomach.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy. It's great. It's the same guy who made Brawl and cell block 99.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay, wait.

[Geo Perez]

And you would watch Irreversible with your wife?

[Jim Florentine]

No.

[Geo Perez]

All right, I was about to say.

[Zach Amico]

I showed him Irreversible. The, the French rape revenge movie.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And yeah, he wasn't ready for it.

[Geo Perez]

No, that was, he's like, yo, you guys been to jail. You might be ready for a 15 minute rape scene.

[Zach Amico]

I actually, so I.

[Geo Perez]

You don't even have that long in jail to rape somebody. This guy was just raping somebody in public.

[Zach Amico]

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[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Do you want to, do you want to tell them about it?

[Geo Perez]

Oh, Lucky, what was it called?

[Zach Amico]

Lucky 13.

[Geo Perez]

Lucky 13. That go go bar in, in Brooklyn.

[Zach Amico]

I took him to the biker bar I drink at.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he was, it was, I think, culture shock. Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

Because I've never been to like that, like a biker bar and not sell coke.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

So just they're hanging out like recreational. But the funny thing is, is these hot girls. But then he's like, you know, you got to be careful because some of these guys, you know, date these girls. And I'm like, okay, well, you set me up now because he set me up to get beat up?

[Zach Amico]

No, he's sometimes I always say it's a great place to hang Out. But always look in the parking lot. If the parking lots. All bikes.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe go across the street.

[Jim Florentine]

It's a strip club too, though.

[Zach Amico]

It's a Go Go bar.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

So they're on the. I mean, they're on you. Like you're sitting at their feet.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it's G strings and pasties.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay. Give them a dollar, come around, they get.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. But I mean, straight up, like, throw a fiver at them, but in your face. Twerking. And it's nothing but metal.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, fucking great.

[Zach Amico]

So, like, you. You can hear Motorhead from down the street when you pull up in a car.

[Jim Florentine]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

We've done a ton of events there with the movie with Troma. It's the fucking Jim. You would fucking love it.

[Jim Florentine]

I gotta check.

[Zach Amico]

And I took him there. Cause he. First of all, you were shocked there wasn't a cover. Yeah. You see naked ladies.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. Well, one. It was just almost out in the open. Like, you could just kind of walk by in the street, look in, and there's just titties bouncing on the bar.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

And there was one girl who was super hot, man. I was like. I fell in love with her just watching her.

[Zach Amico]

And there's no green room, like, for the girls also.

[Jim Florentine]

They just hang out.

[Zach Amico]

So they just all sit at the end of the bar in their sweatshirts. And then it's that thing that. I know. Everybody says, you see a new one walk in, like you're about to leave.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You're like, I'm done. And then you see a new one walk in, like, the dumpy clothes.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And you're like, oh, I gotta see her naked. I guess I'm here for another hour.

[Jim Florentine]

They always come in like they're dressed like the homeless.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

The biggest sweatshirt, the biggest sweats, hair pullback.

[Zach Amico]

I think. Yeah. That was you. That was. I've heard you have this conversation.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

That's the reason I stayed a little long. Because I'm like, I'm gonna go in for a drink and then head out. Because it's already like 2 in the morning. And then he tells me. He's like, yeah, some of the. There's other girls that dance. And I saw that. The most beautiful girl in my life.

[Zach Amico]

She was really, really beautiful.

[Geo Perez]

She had, like, a baggy T shirt. And I saw the string from the bikini, like, sticking out. I'm like, I'll wait till she goes up.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

And then I'll leave.

[Zach Amico]

And then you're right there.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. And. And I was not disappointed. Because when I saw her body. Her body was amazing. There's too many tattoos though. But.

[Zach Amico]

But yeah, well, that's. Yeah, that's a personal preference.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, I don't. I don't mind that I can. It's just the.

[Zach Amico]

More that's. So that's. I'll do a short version of the story. That's the bar. So I go to that bar quite a bit. That is where I like to drink. And a couple years ago on Valentine's Day, me and my chick had a heart shaped pizza. She's a teacher. She goes to bed early. I know, shit. The next day, my buddy Doug calls me and he's like. Because he. He had a production bus. He's like, the bus froze. I can't move the car to the morning. So I'm at Lucky's. He's like, I don't have any money, but I'm here with a girl, she's dancing and she's been giving me the money for drinks. He's like, you want to meet me here? I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'll be there in a fucking second.

[Jim Florentine]

Sounds good.

[Zach Amico]

Go right over. It's dead, maybe seven people there. And the girl dancing is a girl that we know who has appeared in some films and at the time, I think was having recreational fun times with my buddy. And this goblin woman, she's very beautiful, but just a. The personality of a troll creature. And she orders. Well, first of all, she's crawling across the bar. And it's a girl bartender who hates her because her pussy keeps falling out the back of her thong. And this girl's got some meat. And the bartender, I see her go, hey, listen, sweetie, if the cops come in here and see that your vagina's showing, we're gonna lose our liquor license. You know, that's really illegal. You shut the whole bar down. I'm gonna have to ask you to try and, you know, keep yourself tucked in. But she does it real nice.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And this fucking troll woman goes, oh, so you're shaming me for my large outer labia. And they start going to each person. She goes, can you see my pussy? Can you? And we're like, yeah, it was illegal.

[Geo Perez]

To have a fat pussy.

[Zach Amico]

So she's screaming, she's a monster, right? She orders jalapeno poppers. They have a fryer there because God is good. She orders jalapeno poppers, sits between me and Doug, not in the seat on the bar like a gargoyle. Like. So she's got her knees up and her hands on the bar, and she's eating jalapenos, and she looks down at me, and in a sentence that I cannot explain why, this is. My dad has been sober for 40 years. My dad does not go out and do anything. My dad kayaks. He's a health nut. My dad does not partake in nightlife. This is this gargoyle woman who's, by the way, gotta be in her late 20s, early 30s, because. Are you Paul's son? I was like, yeah. She goes, I know your dad's friend Kenny. That never is a good sentence. That sentence has never been followed with a compliment. I know your dad's friend Kenny has never been followed with excellent cardiologist. If your dad has a friend named Kenny, Kenny is up to no good.

[Jim Florentine]

Right?

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So this girl also dated a guy we knew who sold drugs. So now I have to make the call the next day pop. Why does the coke. Who are on the bar, at the biker bar, I go to know you and Kenny, who I've known since I'm four, and he goes. And he describes her. And I go, yeah. And he goes, everybody, come here. He. Zach found Kenny's whole girlfriend. Oh. And apparently this girl was visiting my dad's friend in the hospital after he had had a heart attack. And the wife caught her taking his credit cards, really. To buy herself shit while she was in the hospital. And my head's like, we haven't seen that girl in years. How's she doing?

[Jim Florentine]

How the hell did she know? You recognize you?

[Zach Amico]

Because I guess when she knew they were hanging out and I was mentioned because she wanted to do movies.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

And they showed her one of my trailers.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

And then she knew me through that. How old is she? In her 30s. But it was just. It was such an uncomfortable year when she was 12. No, Kenny was probably dating her a couple of years before.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, okay. Got to go.

[Zach Amico]

But they just such a. Are you Paul? Oh, no. Why? This can't be good. So, Jim, laugh at the game. Specifically, I picked out for you today. So I am obsessed with the website called the Long and Short of It. Have you heard of it?

[Jim Florentine]

No.

[Zach Amico]

So, Shan, if you want to bring it up.

[Gio Perez]

I don't want to share any of this stuff yet.

[Zach Amico]

No, you just bring up the front page, though. Okay, so this is an old website. This is, like, from the 2000s, and it is groupies rating rock stars, performances in bed. And they have every band from the 80s, 90s, and 2000s on here.

[Jim Florentine]

This is Metal Sludge.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, because I know that supposedly Sebastian Bach's marriage got blown up. Because it is something. Yes. Because they were talking about. All these girls were talking about how they were fucking him and his wife saw it and put the timeline together. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So what we have is we have a couple.

[Geo Perez]

They got the Billboard charts of.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. What we have is a couple rock stars. And I figured you guys and me, we could guess if they got a good or a bad performance review.

[Jim Florentine]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

Sound fun?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Geo Perez]

I'm gonna steal this for rappers.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, please. Oh, Eminem's on there.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, is he?

[Jim Florentine]

For comics. They should have one for comics.

[Zach Amico]

I think they do. It's called Female Comics Private Messenger.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, true.

[Geo Perez]

There's like 10 different group chats.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that was. He said, dude, that was one of the micro scenes and one of the funniest things ever. He's like, what did female comics do all day before screenshots were invented?

[Geo Perez]

These have notebooks. Yeah, composition notebooks. They pass around.

[Zach Amico]

So before we do that, let's actually get plugs out of the way. So we teased a bit, Jan. And look at that. Like real radio. GI what do you want people to check out?

[Geo Perez]

Check out my podcast on the Gate right here on Gas Digital. Check it out for bonus content. Subscribe. I will be in Atlantic City this Wednesday. This comes out today. Right. I'll be in Atlantic City this Wednesday at 8 o' clock at Atlantic City Comedy Club. Come check that out.

[Zach Amico]

Very cool, Mr. Florentine.

[Jim Florentine]

Check out my podcast, Everybody is Awful comes out every Monday. And if you're over in England, me and Jim Norton are doing a little tour over there. London, Manchester, Birmingham, before we see the last Black Sabbath show. Oh, that's in the June, early July.

[Zach Amico]

So yeah, that's really sick. Good for you guys. Hey, if you want to see me on the road, go to punch up that live. Zach Amico. I have a bunch of dates I'm gonna be plugging very soon. I'm doing a tour of the south and as always from now till whenever, I'm on tour with the Insane Clown Posse calling Juggalo Championship Wrestling. So if ICP has any dates near you, check out, see if JCW is going to be there and come say hi. And I really appreciate it. If you love the show, go to gasdigital.com today. Use the promo code ZOO and you get $1.50 off a month. You get episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the archives. Thousands of episodes of a bunch of your favorite podcasts and, you know, access to the live chat. And thank you to the live chat very much today for being the coolest, and I appreciate you guys very, very much. It was a nice picture of a lady with a fat and a butt plug in. All right, thank you guys so much for tuning in. All right, Shannon, let's get some of these rock. Tell us a rock star.

[Geo Perez]

Let's guess these.

[Gio Perez]

First one is.

[Zach Amico]

Man, I make everything good.

[Gio Perez]

Lane Staley from Alice in Chains.

[Zach Amico]

Alice in Chains. Tall, thin guy. I'm thinking packing heat.

[Jim Florentine]

So they're. They're groupies are just describing.

[Zach Amico]

They're describing size, dick size and performance, I would say.

[Gio Perez]

I just want to say, by the way, not everyone likes just they give, like, their overall. Not everyone says, like, exactly their penis size.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Jim Florentine]

I would say probably not good. Heroin addict.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Depressed.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

He's probably got, like, a soggy six. He's never getting a full erection. He's not really into it. I don't see that guy being like an animal in bed.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I would say big piece, but probably. Yeah. Can't.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Just kind of.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Going through the kind of a bomber. Sex is the last thing he wants. He'd rather be drugs and fucking, drinking and doing whatever.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Sounds similar.

[Geo Perez]

No, I. I'm. I'm gonna guess big piece. But, like, what? He said he can't get hard, but because he's gay, I think he's closet. So he fucks women and it's bad for them because he would rather be with a dude.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. Just the way his, like, his face looks.

[Zach Amico]

Got a gay face.

[Geo Perez]

He has a gay face. Like, show the picture.

[Zach Amico]

That might be heroin.

[Geo Perez]

That is kind of close, that.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, he never. I mean, that's like the best picture of him ever.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

That's like. If he was on a dating profile, that'd be his first picture. And then you go to the third one, you see what he really looks like.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so, Shannon, tell us. Tell us about Staley.

[Gio Perez]

Okay, so groupies say Alison Chains lead singer Lane Staley is described as having a 3 to 4 inch penis and a sexual disappointment.

[Zach Amico]

Get the.

[Geo Perez]

All right, so wrong sexual disappointment.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Well, three to four inches. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He doesn't get far down in the hole.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

He's not the man in the box. He's the man barely in the box.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I have a funny story about that song. I'll tell you off air because it is incriminating to people. I know.

[Geo Perez]

I wish I knew rock to make these references.

[Zach Amico]

There's a wrestler in the company I work for called Stephen Flo. And he's just Eddie Vedder.

[Jim Florentine]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

Stephen Flo. Stephen Flo. And he's hilarious. And I literally. You just see me as he's coming out Googling fucking Pearl Jam songs so I can make a new reference.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Because all I do is the same joke every week.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay. Right. That's great.

[Zach Amico]

But Stephen Flow rules. He tags with cocaine. Who's Kane from wwe.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, nice.

[Zach Amico]

Coke dealer. Running a business can be exhausting. Building your website shouldn't be. With wix, you can express your ideas, give direction, then leave the heavy lifting to AI. From site creation to branded content and images. Have fun with the details, customize what you want the way you want, and manage your whole business from a centralized dashboard with expert AI tools. Build, scale, and enjoy the incredible results. You can do it all yourself on wix. All right. Billy Joe from Green Day. This guy does not give me big dick energy.

[Jim Florentine]

He's probably in the kinky stuff.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, Yeah. I would say he'd be like. Or he might like to get pegged.

[Geo Perez]

Probably. I'll say average with a Prince Albert.

[Zach Amico]

See, all these pop punk guys give me the impression that they want to maintain the married thing. So I think a lot of the pop punk guys are like, you can blow me. I remember reading that about Blink182 once where they were like, I'm married. I don't fuck. But I guess you could like my wife. Like, which definitely the wife doesn't. But, like, that's the compromise they've made in their head morally.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

I've heard that about, like, certain famous comics. Like, they'll. They're fine, like, when they're on the road, only head. They can't.

[Jim Florentine]

Nobody's nice of them.

[Geo Perez]

That's pretty. I mean, when you. When you make, like 100 million.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. You know, that's funny. Like, if you're a female, you're married to a female comic. I'm just. I get my pussy eaten and that's it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

I don't do anything else.

[Geo Perez]

I just.

[Jim Florentine]

I'm not sucking a dick and he's not putting inside me, but I got my pussy eaten. So that's. That's all right. Right. That's not cheating.

[Zach Amico]

You know, the only woman that's fine with that is a woman that is clinging to you for the money.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And. And has. Doesn't have a way of getting most of it.

[Geo Perez]

No safety net.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. She doesn't have the divorce. She. She's out of options.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right. So, Billy, Jeff. I'm going to say. I'm going to say wife guy, but we'll get blown.

[Gio Perez]

Shannon Green Day frontman Billy Joe Armstrong has the smallest penis of any rock star. We know. Billy's little Willie is only about 3 inches, man.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, you know what? This ain't going great.

[Geo Perez]

I thought all these guys were packing.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe they're making up for something. Maybe it's a different. I think it's. I may. It's the type of rock star you are.

[Jim Florentine]

Maybe like, Sebastian Bach used to be able to tie his penis in a knot. That's what he'd do.

[Zach Amico]

That was like a Terry Stem.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. And then he would always do a helicopter. He'd be swinging around at a party and like that. Yeah, he was very proud of that.

[Geo Perez]

Hey, baby, you want to see the pretzel?

[Zach Amico]

These are. Andy Dick used to do the wristwatch a lot. Wrap his dick around his wrist and walk up to people go, do you. Any time.

[Geo Perez]

It is the comedian Andy Dick.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

God damn, that's funny.

[Zach Amico]

All right, now we got Lars Ulrich from Metallica. Now I feel like I might. I remember one thing about this one. If I'm right, uncut, probably because he's.

[Jim Florentine]

From Denmark, so he's Danish, so it's probably. Yeah, he's probably uncut. I'd say, like, selfish. He probably just wants a blowjob. He doesn't want to fuck. That's what I'm thinking.

[Geo Perez]

I don't think we're gonna have three baby dicks back to back. So I'm gonna think he's probably packing and he's putting it down. I think he's packaging. He's putting it down.

[Zach Amico]

With his personality, I feel like he can only have a little dick or a big dick. He has a little dick and he's compensating, or he has a huge dick and couldn't possibly give a fuck.

[Gio Perez]

Shannon Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich is, quote, unforgiven for being a sexual disappointment. One groupie had had him. One group. You had him said his technique is wham, bam, thank you, ma' am. And Lars sometimes has trouble getting up his uncircumcised penis.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, shit. He called it.

[Jim Florentine]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

That's coke, I think. Coke.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Because I was. I was gonna have her put Manson on here, but obviously the Manson is just. No, he's on coke all the time.

[Jim Florentine]

Sober now for, like, four or five years.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, I'm sure it's better now, but.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, in the. In the days of.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty.

[Geo Perez]

But he's like six. Six, right?

[Jim Florentine]

No.

[Geo Perez]

Isn't he tall?

[Jim Florentine]

He's like six two something.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he wears big boots and. Yeah, I think it's more of like. Those are stilts. G. That's a big. That's a big podium.

[Gio Perez]

Six, one.

[Geo Perez]

Six. Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He was a. He was a tiny music journalist from Florida named Brian.

[Geo Perez]

I thought he was in the one. The years.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that was his show. He was a music journalist then he made the band. And all the first articles about his band were by Brian Warner and about how big of a deal is this band was gonna be. Yeah, those are all Brian Warner articles. So he kind of created his own, and it's brilliant. But they were also just like a. Like, they were like a psychedelic rock band on that first album, which is very good. All right. Hexum. Nick Hexum from 311. Very in shape.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, he's.

[Zach Amico]

I bet. I bet if you're in that good shape, you probably also want to make sex and performance.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, definitely. He's lasting long. He's satisfying them. And probably like average penis, but amazing in bed.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. Definitely looks at himself in the mirror.

[Zach Amico]

He definitely has a lot of Patrick Bateman. Yeah. All right, Shannon.

[Geo Perez]

He definitely flexes like.

[Gio Perez]

Okay, so this. This one. Okay, this is what. Sorry, this isn't written correctly. This is what one lady had to say about lead singer Nick Hexum. Quote, I had a roommate who used to sleep with Nick in 1998. Every time she was with him, she would walk really funny for the rest of the day. He had a big dick and would go on for hours. She said he was a great lover.

[Zach Amico]

All right, that one. That one.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I bet this next one to me gives big dick energy. Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails, I think. Yeah. The. The recklessness he has, I feel like leads to big dick and kinky.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. And he was friends with Manson.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

A lot.

[Zach Amico]

He got huge. He got super jacked.

[Jim Florentine]

He did.

[Zach Amico]

At a certain point. He was really, really jacked.

[Jim Florentine]

So he's probably on the testosterone. So he wants, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

He wants to fuck.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think so.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. So I'm saying good in bed, above average sized penis.

[Zach Amico]

You know.

[Geo Perez]

I think. I think he's probably big and into kinky, right?

[Jim Florentine]

He is. I want to. You like an animal, you know, so.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, like, you know, choke me out, you know, punch me in the face type once again.

[Zach Amico]

A pivot, though. Used to be a synth pop guy. Same as Ministry.

[Jim Florentine]

True.

[Gio Perez]

Shannon and says we hear he's quite the dildo connoisseur. He always like. He also likes role playing. We also hear Trent likes to be dominated once in a while and has mommy issues. His penis is reportedly about seven and a half inches.

[Geo Perez]

Inches above average.

[Zach Amico]

Good for him. Hey, that's what I say. And finally we have one that to me, this is going to be the star of the show, John Dolmayan from System of A Down.

[Jim Florentine]

I love him.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, that guy's got a. He's got like a 10 inch penis and it's got like a beard like him.

[Zach Amico]

I bet it's a big. I bet he actually hits the double bass with it like I. He does. His feet are in the air during solos. Shannon.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's an animal. Lasts long.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And just openly a Trump guy and still in System of a Doubt. Is so funny.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, yeah, he's.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Geo Perez]

He's breaking cervical.

[Zach Amico]

Hilarious. People ask him and I'm like, yeah, he's our friend. He's literally one of their brother in laws.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What, are we gonna kick him out of the bed because we didn't vote for the same guy.

[Jim Florentine]

Years ago in Vegas, he came to one of my comedy shows and afterwards I was selling CDs and he goes, what do you got? I want to get everything here, just take it. He goes, no, come on, come on, man. I'm a big fan. He goes, listen, we sold 10 million records. Just take this 200 bucks. He just threw me like 200 on the table.

[Zach Amico]

That's awesome.

[Jim Florentine]

But, yeah, no, he's fucked. He's great. Yeah. Because all the other guys in the band aren't. Aren't Trump supporters. Yeah, yeah, Obviously he's like, yeah, I don't give a shit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And he's married. I think he's married to Serge's sister.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, he is.

[Geo Perez]

I believe he might search Tonkian.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here we go. Shannon.

[Gio Perez]

Massive clip that. Great in bed, but selfish. Loves to receive oral if you can get all of it in your mouth.

[Geo Perez]

Oh.

[Gio Perez]

But hesitant to reciprocate unless he knows you. Very dominant, but will not look at you while he's you. Likes when you play with his balls. If you're a groupie and act like one, he will treat you with zero respect.

[Geo Perez]

I'm talking about. That's that. That guy is the champ.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. I won, my boy.

[Geo Perez]

Never look a woman in the eyes when you're in bed. Never vulnerable.

[Zach Amico]

That was the answer for everyone going, gee, I wonder how big Arab guys. I wonder how big Armenian lays it down, Right? Yeah. If you want to. If you want to waddle home smelling like cologne.

[Geo Perez]

Aftershave. Brute.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, thank you, Shannon. That was very fun. Let's do a little toy tonight. Tight or no. And this is where we discuss. We judge women. All right, let's see here.

[Gio Perez]

Sorry. That load. It's taking a second to load there.

[Zach Amico]

No problem. Hey, Shannon. This is a safe place.

[Gio Perez]

There you go. A little sound.

[Geo Perez]

What the.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so for people listening, this is an otherwise pretty blonde.

[Geo Perez]

It took me a second to notice the arm.

[Zach Amico]

Who has.

[Geo Perez]

How pretty.

[Zach Amico]

She is a Toxic Avenger arm.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's the only way I could describe. She has.

[Jim Florentine]

And that's not fake. That's an AI or anything.

[Zach Amico]

I believe she's got a condition.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, she's, like, mid, nutty, professional.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, she's gonna jerk me off. I'd rather use the other arm.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Not the. Not the.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, if I'm not looking.

[Jim Florentine]

Arm.

[Zach Amico]

If I'm not looking, honestly, that might have some torque to it.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, but she's gonna. She might rip my helmet off.

[Geo Perez]

Honestly, though, because it just seems like a lot of fat. So it might be softer. It might almost be like a pocket. Because, like, look at her hand. It's kind of like.

[Zach Amico]

You say, the swelling.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. Yeah. Like her hand has, like, more meat to it because it's not the arm you're fucking. Look at her hand.

[Jim Florentine]

So if you had a choice which hand she would use, you would take the bigger. The bigger arm.

[Geo Perez]

I'll try both, but I would feel like the bigger one might have more grip to it.

[Zach Amico]

I want to know where she keeps the big arm when she's jerking you off with the regular arm. Because if she's caressing your face and playing with your nipples with the big arm.

[Jim Florentine]

That's true.

[Zach Amico]

You might go switch.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah. I don't want this creature arm coming at me.

[Geo Perez]

You just got. It's only doggy stuff, doggy style. And then you look.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. See that? You barely notice there. Yeah. She's.

[Geo Perez]

What's the condition?

[Zach Amico]

That's a great question, Chad. Does it say at the top of her profile? What?

[Gio Perez]

It doesn't, but I looked her up and it said that it's just a vascular disability that she was born with. It doesn't have the actual name of it. Yeah, Vascular malformation.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, so what do we say? Toyota night, but bring it back up.

[Geo Perez]

So the question is, would I still hit?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Would you? Yeah. I think Shannon, that's a real rough one. The arms really in the forefront there.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. It's like you get. It's like half the hug. It feels like a man hugging you.

[Zach Amico]

Shout out to Roland in the chat. She looks like Mega Man.

[Geo Perez]

Hellboy arm.

[Zach Amico]

Somebody says just Larry Holder says just cut it off.

[Jim Florentine]

Just.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, because then you'll just be a hot amputee.

[Zach Amico]

As a cute pooper though.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

I'm saying only doggy style.

[Zach Amico]

But then you're her from behind and she. She's like, yeah, no, me hard with her monster arm. See, that's the thing. You could probably role play that. She's been taken over by a monster and you have to restrain that arm the whole time.

[Geo Perez]

She's behind a wall.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Behind a wall. And you see the arm come in. Grab her.

[Geo Perez]

Help me.

[Zach Amico]

Or you just had the arm come out of the closet.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, what a great way to scare kids, right? Hide under the bed.

[Jim Florentine]

That arm come out.

[Zach Amico]

Hide under the bed. Hide the closet. You just have that arm thing from Adam Stanley.

[Geo Perez]

Its way out, dude. Imagine just getting blown by her and then all of a sudden you just feel those hands tickling your balls.

[Jim Florentine]

I would. I would.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Is there any way you could leave your jacket on?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

I don't see it. Yeah, it might throw me for a loop.

[Geo Perez]

Can you wear this baggy crew neck sweater?

[Zach Amico]

Can you wear this Hot Topic hoodie? Thumb holes.

[Geo Perez]

The dumb holes.

[Jim Florentine]

She'd be a great female wrestler. Yeah. Use that. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, ye. Like Lex Luger had the. The plate in his arm.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, like stand a man Hansen. Remember you said the lariat? Yeah, yeah, that'd be great. That'd be a move or finish a move.

[Zach Amico]

She might kill people with it.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Have you seen the arm wrestler Jeff Dabe?

[Jim Florentine]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Shady. Can you look up Jeff D A B E? He's a professional arm wrestler. And I don't know what he has other than what I would call Popeye disease. And his arms. And he looks so silly. And he just murders dudes.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, did you find him?

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, I'm just scrolling. Scrolling through this video. I'll just play it from here.

[Zach Amico]

Doing all my chores.

[Geo Perez]

I carried up.

[Zach Amico]

You can probably find his Instagram.

[Geo Perez]

Younger guys are fast.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, it's already got.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So this guy, I want this guy to do power slap so bad and just decapitate someone and they have to close it.

[Geo Perez]

He's gonna remove somebody's jaw with that arm.

[Zach Amico]

I have a bunch of friends. I said this, right? I have a bunch of friends who just went down and did the combine for Power Slap for the next season. And he said, it's like high tech, not like they're testing your neck strength. They're, like, doing, like, real something. Like they're really, like, making sure these dudes don't kill each other.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

But the one guy. The one guy they have is Simone. He's going to murder everybody. All right, so this is him.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, but he's wrestling.

[Jim Florentine]

Like, I like to see him arm wrestle another chick. Yeah, big arm.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, that would be.

[Jim Florentine]

That's right.

[Zach Amico]

That's like that tennis match between the guy and the chick. That was the battle of the genders.

[Geo Perez]

Oh, dude, imagine how. How loud that high five would be between them.

[Zach Amico]

Look at.

[Geo Perez]

That is.

[Zach Amico]

He's got pictures of him on his Instagram as a kid that are fucking wild. Yeah, that's. Go down. See, there's him in, like, the 80s.

[Jim Florentine]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

When he's got pictures of him as, like, a child and he's got these big. Yeah, there he is. What?

[Jim Florentine]

The.

[Geo Perez]

One one looks bigger than the other one, too.

[Zach Amico]

Look. Yeah. So it's not like implants or anything. He's just. Let's see. He's just been yoked.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

How do you discipline a kid like that?

[Zach Amico]

He just. Dude, you gotta teach that kid quick. Yeah, you think? I bet they went through a few cats.

[Geo Perez]

Put like an electrical. An electrical collar to control him.

[Zach Amico]

I'd be so. Dude. Oh, he's probably, you know, like, it's hard to explain to people. Old man strength.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like. Like, farms are like just life strength, not, like weight strength. Like, growing up wrestling. Like, one of the coaches would just be like an old man, like, what are you gonna do to me? And then he grabs you and you're like, I'm. My coach was like a alcoholic in his 60s, right? And he was. He was so strong.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah. Like, the grip like. Like, a lot of my family, like, grew up on the farms and working in the field, and I had one uncle, he would straighten his finger. Could break through a fucking drywall. Like, just break like this.

[Zach Amico]

Boom.

[Geo Perez]

And poke a hole. He'll get drunk and do that shit. And I remember just like, trying with two fingers and bending my fucking, like, fingers back. Like, how the fuck did he do that shit? Just bah. And his hands was gripping. He'll be like, try to bend my finger back with both hands. And he'll hold his hand like that. And I'll be using Both hands, trying to pull his finger back and you wouldn't be able to get it back.

[Zach Amico]

My grandpa was like that. He was a welder for the Navy.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he was just all. He had. The big fucking forearms with the faded tattoos. So fucking the only time my dad I've never seen do anything scary. Except one time a guy started mouthing off at the hardware store, just talking shit to. My dad's like kind of nerdy looking when he's got his work clothes on. But my dad's kind of yoked. He fucking picked up this big sledgehammer and my dad went like this and he tilted it and touched the tip of his nose with it and then put it back down on the ground. And the guy went, I'm good.

[Geo Perez]

These guys are like superhuman. Because that same. My same uncle, I don't think my.

[Zach Amico]

Dad'S ever been to. I've never heard my dad lift weights. My dad does calisthenics in the morning. Like it's the twenties still. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Like jumping jacks and all that.

[Zach Amico]

Jumping jacks, squats and push ups.

[Jim Florentine]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

That's all he does. And he's fucking like shredded on a fucking fishing boat. He also. Fucking 40 years probably.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay. Yeah.

[Geo Perez]

It's like they never been to the gym. Like, how the fuck do you have a six pack? And it's just like lifting bales of hay. But yeah, that same mocha. I remember we was at the river once and he was saying that there's like this little like cove or something in the river where it's like flowing fast. Now you can't. Like we're. When we go to the river, we're at the park where it's shallow because if you go where it's running, like flowing, it's going to take you. But he would jump in the part where it's dangerous. And he said he swims down. Like, I just saw him go down there. But he says it's like a little hole dugout where there's like shrimp. So you see, he would jump in there, swim down with the current, grab a handful of shrimp and swim back up and you just throw the shrimp on the floor. And I'm like, anybody else would have tried to do that. They're going to drown.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's. That's almost like. That sounds like Dominican noodling.

[Geo Perez]

Yeah, it's Dominican Ethan Hunt.

[Jim Florentine]

He noted he could have just went to the store and bought a bag.

[Geo Perez]

No, they're poor, man. They were poor as fuck.

[Zach Amico]

That's the. The red. The noodling when the rednecks put their whole forearm. There's. There's like hot redneck chicks that just do those videos. Love them. And we're actually leave on another hot girl video. This is my favorite body cam footage of the week. And then we're going to head out of here. But yeah. So this is a young woman who I believe might be getting a dui. Shannon.

[Gio Perez]

Yes.

[Jim Florentine]

Don't have a choice.

[Zach Amico]

You're under arrest. Have a seat in the car, please. No, I'm not getting that card you.

[Geo Perez]

Have paying her bail. I'm paying for the lawyer for driving under the influence.

[Zach Amico]

This gotta be one of those things times where they really hate that they all have those body cams on. Did you know a deal would have been struck?

[Geo Perez]

Oh, yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Please have a seat in the car. Show me how you suck a guy's cat. Sit in the car.

[Geo Perez]

Don't make this harder than it has to be.

[Zach Amico]

Go. You don't have a choice. You're under arrest. Please have a seat in the car. But. I'm sorry, but what? In the test that we did just proves that I, I. That that could all be explained later. But you are under arrest. Okay, I'm not going to go under the arrest. I'm not going in this car without knowing you failed the test when I didn't fail no exams. Get into the car. Have a seat in the car. Ignorant drunk. We don't want to have to put.

[Jim Florentine]

You in the car.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't film my exam, so. Okay. Have a seat in the car. I'm not getting in this car without knowing what. Get in the car. It's scaring me because I don't know what I did. Okay. When I didn't talk, man. Cops don't get to do anything anymore. Hey, sir, I am driving home to my family and I didn't do anything. So why are you accusing me?

[Geo Perez]

Does she end up resisting till like a nipple pops out?

[Zach Amico]

I didn't feel no exam. Why are you. Have a seat in the car.

[Geo Perez]

I have a.

[Zach Amico]

Now back in the day, pre body cam footage it would have been. Listen, we're going to give you a ride home. You're going to be in the front with me. Yeah, my partner is going to drive the car in the back. Then when we get to your house, you're going to go in the car with him for a few minutes and then you're. You know what we'll get, you know, we'll let you off with a warning. Just we want to make sure you're home safe.

[Jim Florentine]

We're going to drop off, and then as soon as they get off their shift, they go over to the house. I've had cop friends do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come by in a few hours. But look, this is a hot chick that no guy ever says no to her.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's. She's so confused by situations that this.

[Jim Florentine]

Little white dude is like, no, you have to listen to me.

[Zach Amico]

It's like when they talk at comedy clubs and people are like, shut up. They've never been told.

[Jim Florentine]

Never shut up before, Never. So she's like, are you kidding me? I get whatever I want. Look at these fake tits. And you're telling me I'm not doing it. So she was shocked. Like, I have to. I have to listen to this guy. I never do. I get my way every time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's. It's definitely, like a system overload.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Geo Perez]

She's like the ugly, ugliest guy that I. Looks better than you. Why are you not.

[Zach Amico]

Anything else interesting happened at the end of that? Shannon or. She just cries.

[Gio Perez]

She just cries. There's like, 20 seconds left.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, let's finish it. Not fair because I'm literally trying to.

[Jim Florentine]

Become one of you.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, people, Respectfully. Okay, well, have a seat in the car. Listen, if you want to have a chance Listen, if you want to have a chance of anything, listen to our instructions and have a seat in the car, because you know what it is? Have a seat in the car. We don't want to have to put you in the car. You literally were your whole life, but you're not sure enough.

[Geo Perez]

I will say the body cams are at the right level.

[Jim Florentine]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Whoever designed the body cam was like, you know what?

[Jim Florentine]

That cop is even crouching down a little, so he gets a good shot. He knows exactly where it is.

[Zach Amico]

All right, thank you guys so much for tuning in. That was today's show. Thank you so much for my guests. Gio Perez, Jim Florentine. Check them out, support their podcast, support them online, and thank you so, so much. We will catch you this Wednesday here on the Morning zoo. Goodbye to him. Pop a bagel, chug it down. Just favorite, obtain the crew. It's Acamiko morning, too. It's Acamiko morning too.