0016. Josh Adam Meyers and Zahid Dewji

Summary

The Luis and Zac Show – Episode 0016: Josh Adam Meyers and Zahid Dewji

Release Date: December 5, 2024
Hosts: Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico
Guest: Josh Adam Meyers and Zahid Dewji
Network: GaS Digital Network

---

1. Introduction and Welcome (00:58 - 02:33)

The episode kicks off with Luis and Zac diving straight into casual banter, greeting their guest, Josh Adam Meyers, and Zahid Dewji. The hosts set a lively tone, immediately engaging in humorous exchanges about Zac’s mishaps with EasyPass and his changing facial hair to appease his son's preferences.

Notable Quote:

• Zach Amico (01:17): "Why is my yellow hat showing up as green?"
• Luis J. Gomez (01:53): "I actually texted her. I was like, is Lewis going to be here at noon?"

---

2. Zac’s EasyPass Troubles and Time Management (02:07 - 04:13)

Zac shares his frustrating experience with EasyPass, detailing how a declined credit card led to missing payments and accumulating fines. This segment highlights Zac's struggle to manage time and responsibilities, blending his personal anecdotes with comedic frustration.

Notable Quote:

• Zach Amico (02:09): "I've been rolling through tolls with no Easy Pass."
• Lewis J. Gomez (04:00): "He looks like Fire Marshal Bill right now."

---

3. Relationship Dynamics and Emotional Struggles (04:13 - 10:15)

The conversation shifts to Zac’s relationship challenges, expressing his need for companionship and his difficulties in maintaining meaningful relationships. Zac opens up about his dependency on new relationships to avoid loneliness and his recent decision to take a break from smoking weed to better manage his mood and responsibilities.

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Amico (05:27): "Today is the first day of the rest of your lives."
• Zach Amico (05:44): "There's always new. If I wasn't getting new pussy, I would fucking kill myself."

---

4. Hosting Challenges and Past Experiences (10:15 - 19:20)

Zac recounts his early days as a host at the Stress Factory, where he faced tough crowds and eventually got fired after numerous unsuccessful attempts. This segment emphasizes the difficulties of performing and maintaining a career in comedy, coupled with Zac’s candid reflections on his failures and resilience.

Notable Quote:

• Zach Amico (16:00): "I bombed so badly that I couldn't stomach going back and asking Vinnie."

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5. Promotional Segments and Sponsored Messages (Throughout)

Interspersed within the episode are promotional segments for various sponsors, including Audible, Instacart, IBM Consulting, Mando deodorant, Small Batch Cigar, and Yo Delta. Luis, Zac, and Josh incorporate these ads seamlessly into their conversations, maintaining the show’s energetic and unapologetic style.

Example Quote:

• Zach Amico (21:26): "If you go to shopmando.com use the promo code LAZ and save $5 off your starter pack."

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6. Service Dogs and Discussions on Racism (19:20 - 34:35)

A significant portion of the episode delves into the topic of service dogs, with Zac expressing skepticism about their legitimacy. The conversation intensifies as discussions on racism emerge, leading to heated exchanges and humorous yet contentious banter about service animals and cultural misunderstandings.

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Amico (27:58): "Can I say I've been railing against people with service dogs for the past couple months on the show?"
• Joshua Adam Meyers (50:43): "Show me the papers, man."

---

7. Lookalike Contest and Community Engagement (38:37 - 43:18)

Luis introduces a lookalike contest, encouraging listeners to submit videos for a chance to be featured on the show. The hosts humorously critique a submitted photo, engaging the audience with playful mockery and interactive content.

Notable Quote:

• Zach Amico (38:48): "Is this guy Zach look alike? I'd hope so. For Shannon's sake."

---

8. Wrapping Up and Final Thoughts (73:31 - 82:58)

As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts and guests share upcoming events, promote their respective projects, and engage in light-hearted discussions about personal experiences and humorous anecdotes. The episode ends with a comedic skit featuring a deformed neighbor, blending humor with social commentary.

Notable Quote:

• Zach Amico (55:35): "How am I doing? Pretty sweet."

---

Key Themes and Insights

• Authenticity in Comedy: The hosts emphasize being unapologetically themselves, tackling raw and controversial topics with humor.

• Struggles with Personal Responsibilities: Zac’s anecdotes about EasyPass, relationships, and substance use shed light on the challenges of balancing personal life with a career in comedy.

• Community Interaction: Engaging with listeners through contests and incorporating live chat feedback fosters a sense of community and participation.

• Addressing Social Issues with Humor: Discussions on service dogs and racism are handled with a blend of satire and candidness, reflecting the show's fearless approach to sensitive topics.

Conclusion

Episode 0016 of The Luis and Zac Show offers a blend of unfiltered comedy, personal storytelling, and interactive segments, all delivered with the hosts' signature high-energy and fearless demeanor. Through humorous exchanges and candid discussions, Luis, Zac, and their guests navigate a range of topics, providing listeners with an engaging and entertaining experience that stays true to the show's description as a "comedy revolution."

Transcript

[Lewis]

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[Unknown]

Fill her up.

[Lewis]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Zach]

You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night.

[Lewis]

Boy, we diving in. We got Zach Am. Red dot, headshot.

[Josh]

Eat a sniper.

[Zach]

Puerto Rican point guard striking like a.

[Lewis]

Viper.

[Zach]

And it came to attack Spilling.

[Josh]

Crack on the track.

[Zach]

Spin straight facts, yeah. Why is my yellow hat showing up as green? Shannon? I am trying to shake it. I'm trying to be in a good mood. I was in a good mood. I was on time. I was on time.

[Lewis]

I actually, I actually texted her. I was like, is Lewis going to be here at noon? Because I caught a red eye. So I can make this for you, which I know you're excited about.

[Zach]

1202. 1202 is when I rolled up. Okay. Shannon told me at his house.

[Lewis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach]

Shannon told me zaheed was running 10 minutes late. I was on the phone with Easy Pass because for some reason my easy pass wasn't working. And apparently what happens is if easy, if your credit card gets declined for any reason, for any reason at all, Easy Pass, delete your credit card from the system. And then you just get started getting charged crazy fines by going through tolls.

[Lewis]

How long has it been?

[Zach]

It was, I, I, I tried to use my credit card, I guess in Toronto or whatever. So it got a thing where it, like, got stopped because I was in another country.

[Lewis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach]

So then they tried to charge the easy pass while I was in the other country and it didn't. And then they denied it. So for a week and a half, I've been rolling through tolls with no easy pass. So then I had to call them an hour and 15 minutes on the phone, on hold. I don't have a pin. Who knows what that pin is?

[Josh]

You came in on a hot one. He walked it out like Damn. Somebody fucking break up with them.

[Zach]

Oh, it made me fucking mad. You got to take your green hat off, Zaheed. Oh, shit, Shannon, you got to tell people not to wear green.

[Lewis]

She did. She did tell us.

[Josh]

I didn't realize it was that green. So. Welcome to my. It's all my Dave Patel head.

[Zach]

No, it's all good. We have a similar thing going on. Welcome to the show.

[Josh]

Oh, so mad he is.

[Zach]

I'm upstairs and I'm lying. I'm. And I'm getting myself even more worked up because I. I lied and said I have a real job.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zach]

I was like, boss just told me if I'm not in five minutes, I was like, they're gonna fire me, so you gotta get this done right now. She was like, oh, do I have to get my. She was a new person. She says, the supervisor supervising them putting the credit card number in, and I'm just fucking the whole time, like, they're gonna fire me. My boss just texted me. They're firing me right now for no reason.

[Josh]

What accent did she have?

[Zach]

I don't know what she had.

[Lewis]

You know what she had.

[Josh]

Dude, I was not even.

[Lewis]

We don't ask the question. All right, well, give me the code to the Easy pass.

[Zaheed]

I need, like, another 10 minutes to get used to. Louis with no facial hair.

[Lewis]

I know.

[Zaheed]

Has this thing when he's frustrated. He sucks his teeth, and he looks like Fire Marshal Bill right now.

[Lewis]

You do have burn victim quality. What happened? You did. You look good with the goatee, dude.

[Zach]

It's like, I know I look good with the goatee. I had people over for Thanksgiving. I was dressing up nice. My son's mother likes me better with no facial hair. So I was like, you know what? Let me fucking shave it up for her. Share what she's missing. And then I just had a moment. I was here. I am now an ugly turtle for the next three weeks. Like a terrapin ugly fucking tortoise. Let's see. Shout out to everyone in the race. Live chat, Gas Digital subscribers. Let's see. What do they think? Let's see. Hashn says Lewis looks like shit without the facial hair. Uh, let's see.

[Josh]

Where we were.

[Zach]

Klu Klux Knievel says Lewis is gay. Hippie skank says Lewis is a pedo.

[Lewis]

That's a good name. Finally.

[Josh]

I just love to hear one who's like, I like that guy Jigaboo Jenkins.

[Zach]

Oh, boy. I'm in a good mood, though. I'm better. I'm feeling better now. You do seem Happy?

[Josh]

Dude, we just said the other one feels good.

[Zach]

I am. I am actually legitimately happy. Good. Today is the first day.

[Zaheed]

Of the.

[Josh]

Week of the rest of your life.

[Zach]

It is. It is the first. Guys, today is the first day of the rest of your lives.

[Lewis]

Are you getting right now? Is that what it is? You have a new in your life.

[Zach]

I always get. You can't even.

[Lewis]

But new. New.

[Zach]

Yeah, there's always. There's always new. If I wasn't getting new pussy, I would fucking kill myself.

[Josh]

Really?

[Zach]

Every time I want to kill myself, I have to play my son saying dada, oh, my God. To remind myself to stay alive one more fucking day. One more fucking day.

[Lewis]

How.

[Josh]

How much do you need.

[Lewis]

How.

[Josh]

How much do you need new pussy for you to be like, I'm good again?

[Zach]

It's just that if I'm not getting new pussy, old pussy becomes old very fast.

[Josh]

How. How fast is. I'm talking.

[Lewis]

Yeah, good point. Yeah. Like, how.

[Zach]

How.

[Lewis]

Because it could be. Is it a handful? Are you talking like two or three months or like, immediately after, like, a week or two?

[Zach]

I have to.

[Lewis]

This is a good question, really, because I'm very similar to that, where it's like, after about a month of regular sex with a girl, unless it's like. Unless I really like her or something, which is odd. Then it's like I get tired of it, and then you just.

[Josh]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna be like. That's. That's how long relationships last. Right.

[Zach]

I'm. I'm. I'm in a thing right now because I've gotten late a little bit. There's a couple gals that are fucking great. They're all great. They're all sweethearts. They're all babes. Good job, babes. But I'm also like, there's a couple of them that I'm not even really that into. And, like, I just don't know how to break things off. I don't. I don't know how to be mean like any other girl.

[Josh]

That's fucking not true.

[Zach]

No. I know how to be mean to my friends. My friends and co workers. I could be mean like that, but just not to a woman. How am I supposed to be mean to a woman?

[Josh]

Just text them the N word and see if they respond. They're like, actually, this is over. You're like, great.

[Zach]

Damn, doggy. No. Yeah. I mean, do I need new that often? No, I don't really need new that often. What. I. What do I. I miss companionship. I miss real Love. I miss coming home and paying for everything and cooking and cleaning for a woman who's too hot for me.

[Josh]

Well, cooking, that's what I.

[Zach]

That's what I love. I love doing all of it in the relationship. That's what I love.

[Lewis]

He's a relationship dude. He's more. More than most people.

[Zach]

I'm a real ass dude. You totally misunderstood what I.

[Lewis]

Real ass relationship dude.

[Zach]

He thought I said he's a relationship dude. He's got a bad attitude. No, no, no.

[Zaheed]

Some call it codependent.

[Lewis]

Can't be alone.

[Zach]

Afraid of his thoughts.

[Josh]

That'd be great to do like an 80s hair metal thing, but it's just all existential.

[Lewis]

That's right. Existential.

[Zach]

Dread. No. So what I'm doing is I'm not settling because these, they'll get their hooks in you and they like you and they want to be your girlfriends. They all do.

[Lewis]

You're alpha. You are an alpha. You control, you have. You have underlings. You control things. You go up, you have. You have this show. You have skanks.

[Josh]

Next time. Next time you're driving them, just ask them to pay for a toll.

[Lewis]

Yeah, you gotta discover car, girl. We can put.

[Zach]

I need a. In my life who's going to say, hey, babe, I see you're stressed out about calling Easy pass right now. Sit back, relax. I got it, baby. That's all I want.

[Lewis]

Wow.

[Zach]

You know what that would do for me if this morning there was a woman.

[Josh]

You mean an Indian lady?

[Zach]

If there was a woman. The woman on the phone, she was like, oh, I can fix this for you. Two birds, one stone doggy. If I had a woman in my life.

[Zaheed]

Oh, no, a stone.

[Zach]

Zach's good. He's good. Somebody said in the racist l chat. Carson said, no, that's an assistant. That's not what I need. There's a difference between companionship and a woman who's gonna pick you up when you're down. And having an assistant. An assistant's not gonna rub your back of your ear and suck your dick as well while she does all those things.

[Josh]

How is she doing that? How long are arms. Who's sucking dick and rubbing into your.

[Zach]

Arms that you can't suck a dick and rub the back of it?

[Josh]

Pull it out. Just give it a try.

[Zach]

I'll tell you right now, you can unquestionably. Look, it's not a big deal. It's not a perfectly comfortable position. Fine.

[Josh]

She looks like she's on a hunger strike.

[Zach]

Just one arm up, leaky bum says.

[Zaheed]

Louis Won the olympics in the 70s.

[Zach]

Let's see. Didn't Louis hire an assistant like, a month ago? Yeah. You think she do her fucking job? Yeah. So look, this is where I'm at right now. I'm. I'm in a little bit of a better mood, but today is the first day that I'm not smoking weed or.

[Lewis]

How long is this? Like a. Yeah. That it?

[Josh]

Forever?

[Lewis]

It's not. It. Did you love pot?

[Zach]

I don't know. I don't know. No, not forever. It won't be forever. Like, I. I stopped drinking. How long did I stop drinking?

[Zaheed]

A couple months.

[Zach]

So that's been longer than. That's.

[Josh]

I'm trying to. I'm trying to get there. That's. That's a tough one.

[Lewis]

That ain't it.

[Josh]

Just because everything is. I'm anxious all the time.

[Lewis]

You're Mickey Rourke and barfly, dude. I just see you, like, at the bar. Like. Yeah, I'm just holding cord. All right. No, I like. I like.

[Josh]

I do like drinking and talking. It's fun. Like, I like that. I like that.

[Zach]

I enjoy it too. I. I drank on Thanksgiving. I drank a ton of wine. Ton of wine. So it's not that I don't drink. I'll drink on holidays. I'll drink on vacation. And I think I want to sort of do the same thing with weed. I want to stop being so dependent on weed. I want to stop getting up every morning and getting high. I get up in the middle of the night and I get high.

[Lewis]

My.

[Josh]

My last memory of you was when I couldn't find the car keys at the hotel in a. At we were doing the roasts, I couldn't find my car. Like, one morning I woke up at the hotel across the street from the store.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I was trying to find my car keys. I wake up, this motherfucker is in a robe. It's 8 in the morning. He's in a white robe, and he has a blunt in his mouth.

[Zach]

Oh. Outside of the hotel.

[Lewis]

And I go, what? He goes, what's wrong with you? I can't find my keys.

[Josh]

What are you doing? Having a good time.

[Zach]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

It's like. It was like an unreal moment.

[Zach]

I live. I live in my robe. If I go to a hotel and they have a robe, you're going to just see me everywhere in the hotel in my robe.

[Lewis]

But also, he was on L. A. Time, so 11am so it's fine. That's actually normal. 8am not so much.

[Josh]

But, yeah. Weed thing I get, you know?

[Zach]

Yeah. No, I smoke a lot of weed. I'm just taking a break. I smoke too much. I get too high. I'm. It doesn't even get me high like that anymore. When I take a dab now, I just start to sweat profusely and then I go.

[Lewis]

Sounds like you have apnea. I have apnea.

[Zach]

You have apnea?

[Lewis]

Oh, yeah, dude, I like die like at least two or three times every night. Zach, do you. I'm not to connect with you over that and just assume.

[Zach]

Zach, do you die multiple times per night?

[Lewis]

If there's anybody in this room.

[Zaheed]

Yeah. No, it happens.

[Lewis]

Yeah. If I. But if I get high, I get like these apnea. Like I'll just be like. Because I start thinking about my horse.

[Zach]

Sleep apnea. You jerk off to people snoring. That's hot. I like. That's a new category. I just invented it, folks. That's mine. That's mine.

[Lewis]

Fap. No, that's it. So I just die. I die. Like, you know, even if I get high at night, not as much. No, no, no, no. I. Dude, I went and got a actual sleep study and it said that I didn't have it. And I was like, well, that's completely. And then I went back a few months later and I got one of the ones the take home where they put the thing on your finger and then you like just. It's just like. You just. It's. It's not as intrusive and they saw that I did have like light apnea, but I still haven't done anything with it. I haven't had any real episodes in.

[Zach]

No masks, no nothing. I don't snore at all. I don't believe. I don't even get. I don't even. A little nothing. I just started and I judge a woman. If you snoring, you're a woman. It's over.

[Lewis]

It is. Have you broken up with a girl? She. Because she snores.

[Zach]

I. It's never gotten there.

[Lewis]

It's never got your hand off my ear.

[Zach]

I'm never. She'll never be my girlfriend. Just so you know, if you're sleeping with me and you snore, it ain't happening. That's never going beyond. It's never going beyond that. That's crazy. Pig. Fix your fucking self.

[Lewis]

I've had. I've had fucking girls. I've had girls spend the night and then wake up in my living room because I snore so bad.

[Zach]

Oh, really?

[Lewis]

And a girl recorded it. Actually have audio. It's. It's not as bad as it was, but it's like. I think it's kind of just, you.

[Zach]

Know, me and Zach, we've gone on the road together for years now, and me and Zach have shared a hotel room exactly one time.

[Lewis]

Oh, yeah, it's brutal.

[Zach]

What's even a hotel room? We shared a pink Airbnb in Los Angeles.

[Zaheed]

Now you're forgetting the time in Bay Buffalo where I fell asleep with my eyes open and scared the chair.

[Lewis]

Wait, what?

[Zach]

Well, the whole European tour, we'd show up at a hotel and we couldn't check in for two or three hours, so we'd go sightsee, and Zach's like, you know, dude, I'm gonna take a nap. And then we'd come back two hours later and he's in the hotel lobby with literally children surrounding him like it's a attraction with his eyes open, rolling in the back of his head.

[Zaheed]

It's I sleep like the dog from Little Mickey.

[Lewis]

Yeah, I don't remember that, but that's perfect.

[Zaheed]

Yep, they have.

[Lewis]

Dude.

[Josh]

Oh, my God. Eyes open.

[Zaheed]

Story is, you know, Buffalo was. Because we were leaving at 8 in the.

[Zach]

8 in the morning.

[Zaheed]

And at 6:30, Lewis called me and was like, where are you? And I was like, I don't know, some Juggalo flop house. And he's like, come back right now.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Zaheed]

And I just walked into the room annihilated, took all my clothes off and fell asleep with my eyes open for an hour.

[Zach]

There was something so fun about going on the road back then when you couldn't aff court, you had to split a room. Yeah, you had. Like there. It's. It's something like, not that any of us are rich now, but I'm at a place now where I'm not going to share a room with my opener. That's just that even if I. I would sooner lose money on the gig. Thank you. That was an accident. I would sooner lose money on the gig than. Because I'm in a position in my life where I can lose money on a gig. Sure. Back then you couldn't lose money on a gig. Back in the day, we would leave, right? We would leave the house, and if we didn't do the gig, we weren't. There's not enough money to make it back home. Yeah, like, that's that you. You're going to make money for the week. And the amount of times that I would get there and I'd go to the owner of the club on the last night and be like, can you Cash this check for me right now so I could actually have cash to get home.

[Lewis]

Oh, yeah, I love that.

[Zach]

One time I. When I was opening for Big J, one of my first times ever, I was at the Stress Factory hosting for. It was Big J headlining, and Vinnie Brand was the feature. And Vinnie Brand, first of all, he notoriously does, like, 45 minutes to an hour as a feature.

[Lewis]

Yes.

[Zach]

No, it's wild because it's his club.

[Lewis]

Can't hear.

[Zach]

It's notorious. It is.

[Josh]

I have heard about it.

[Lewis]

Yeah. What? What?

[Zach]

Yeah, you don't gotta hear the light. Jesus Christ. No, Vinnie's the man. I love Vinnie and his club is great. Stress Factory is an awesome club, but Vinnie and he know 40 to 45. He's had to hear people complaining about this on podcasts for years at this point, but he'll do 45 minutes to an hour featuring for the. And literally, because it's his club, every headliner's just like, he's gotta take it. But I remember I bombed so badly hosting.

[Josh]

Oh, God, that's the worst.

[Zach]

Like, the first night I bombed, it was like, it was a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Oh, no. I bombed. So then the next night, I show up and he's like, yeah, let's give him guest spots this weekend instead of having a host. So they fired me from the hosting. They still paid me for the hosting for the weekend. Right. They still gave me the check, but I lost the check. But I bombed so badly that I couldn't. I couldn't stomach going back and asking Vinnie. So I said to eat it.

[Josh]

I kind of respect that.

[Zach]

Yeah, I resp.

[Josh]

I respect someone going, I can't even walk back.

[Zach]

No, I couldn't go back. There was impossible.

[Josh]

Like, you just wanted feeling.

[Lewis]

Oh, dude.

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[Lewis]

That's the worst is, is when you're that. Well, I bombed as a host at the Irvine Improv with all my buddies and everybody else had a, at a good set and on the way home I was like, that was a tough crowd. And they're like, I don't know what you're like, shut. What are you talking about?

[Josh]

That's good on them too. When somebody calls you out, they're like, dude, it wasn't the crowd, it was you.

[Lewis]

It was you.

[Josh]

You need to know what it's you.

[Zach]

Look, we have a lot to talk about on Tissue. I'm very excited about the show. We've even introduced anybody yet. Ladies and gentlemen, from the 500 podcast, the Great Josh Adam Myers back on the show. Thank you.

[Lewis]

I literally took a red eye because Shannon texted me I was supposed to fly in at 7, I wasn't gonna make it. And then I, I took a red eye.

[Zach]

Well, thank you very much. I appreciate you being here. You're the man. Thank you. Also, I'm just one of the funniest writers out there. Hilarious comic is. I mean, if you, if you're watching a roast, he has probably been hired as one of the head writers on the roast. You guys love him. He's been a skankfest multiple times. Zayed, how do I see your fucking last name? Dejv.

[Josh]

Devg. W Like a lot you need to.

[Zach]

Change that last night. I know it's a lot, man. I know that. He does enough. Just go by Zaheed. Be one.

[Josh]

I can't do a Madonna thing.

[Zach]

You can do it.

[Lewis]

Yeah, you can, dude. Yeah, you can. There's no other side.

[Zach]

There's no other Zaheed.

[Lewis]

Just do it.

[Josh]

Well, I'll take it, but.

[Zach]

Hello.

[Lewis]

Nobody's getting that last name right, bro.

[Josh]

I'm the only one that has my Instagram handle because they're like, I don't know.

[Lewis]

Is this a password? How have they butchered it?

[Zach]

Why do you have. What do you have three characters and an underscore in your last name?

[Lewis]

How have they butchered it?

[Zach]

When you're.

[Lewis]

When it's like, they're bringing you up.

[Zach]

Can I just use my thumbprint to say your last name? Is that possible?

[Josh]

I've heard every. I used to do when black comics would bring me up. When I first started, like, in Houston, I would change it as I. Because they'd be like, yo, man, I got. I got it. And I'd be like, you don't have it. And I'd watch them in the corner sweating, and then come back and ask me again, and I would change it just to. With them.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So by the end, I'd give them four different iterations, and then they would just go up and be like, give it up for a. They would just have to finish the day.

[Zach]

Smart move. Let's take a quick moment and thank Mando for supporting today's show. We love Mando. Mando is total body deodorant that doesn't just cover your armpits, but everywhere you can be stinky. And if you're a fan of this show, that's probably a lot of different places. My assumption is that you are a wildly unattractive fat person with lots of fat folds and sleeves and stinky areas and just fucking gross places that you could probably smell a lot better. And you know we're here to cover you, literally and figuratively.

[Zaheed]

That's right. Mando is great for pits packages. That's your grundle and your balls, belly buttons, butt cracks, stinky crevices, stomach folds, and other things that I have. It's aluminum free, baking soda free, cruelty free, dye free, and vegan. And I will tell you, as a man who travels a lot, Mando comes in clutch for what we would call Italian showers.

[Zach]

Yeah, dude, I love their deodorant wipes. I use them on my balls all the time. If I'm just having a Long day out. They have free shipping on their. Their starter pack, which is pretty incredible. That's really what want you to try their starter pack, right? The starter pack. It comes with solid stick deodorant. It comes with a cream tube deodorant and then two products that you choose, like the MIDI body wash, which I love, and then the deodorant wipes, which I genuinely feel like you can't live without once you use them. Right. Now, if you go to shopmando.com shopman.com use the promo code LAZ when you check out. You're gonna save $5 off your starter pack today. Once again, shopmando.com use that promo code LAZ for $5 off. All right, where were we? Well, look, we have a great show planned. Thanksgiving was very nice. I will say, Shannon, my turkey not as good as last year.

[Shannon]

Why is that?

[Zach]

I don't actually have a reason. You know what? I think I do have a reason. I don't have a reason. Well, I mean, my turkey last year was. Was so succulent, so juicy, so perfect that it was.

[Josh]

Everyone got uncomfortable when he said literally.

[Lewis]

Everyone looked at the eyes went. So everyone looked.

[Zaheed]

I think you got bored with it. You just need new poultry every once in a while.

[Zach]

No, doggy, I. It was. It was the most satin and earned turkey ever. It still came out incredible. To be honest with you. My turkey this year was the second best turkey I've ever had in my entire life, right behind my turkey from last year.

[Lewis]

What did you do differently last year that you didn't do this year?

[Zach]

There was no love or companionship in my household. I think maybe the turkey felt that.

[Lewis]

Yeah, sure. No, I get that.

[Zach]

Doing it alone was a different, you know, big difference. No, I think the biggest difference just.

[Josh]

Just you're sad is the funniest answer. The turkey was worse because I'm not doing as well, so.

[Zach]

Well, I did. I do an injection system, right? So you get the turkey injector and you inject butter directly into the meat. Like all over the breast, the thighs, the legs. You watch it plump up with butter. You watch it.

[Lewis]

Do you tie it off? Just fucking rapid.

[Zach]

I'm being serious right now, Josh. So. And.

[Zaheed]

Puts on inegada devita.

[Lewis]

I get this drumstick real quick. This is the end.

[Zach]

No, but I think I did was this year, instead of injecting pure butter into the bird, which is what I did last year, I literally just melted butter down and just went.

[Lewis]

I bet that's so good.

[Zach]

All I like every 45 minutes or so this year, I looked online, and they had. Oh, you got to make the solution with Tony Chicherry and butter. And I thinned out the butter with.

[Josh]

With what?

[Zach]

Chicken stock.

[Lewis]

Oh.

[Zach]

So it was like half chicken stock, half butter. And I think that solution was nowhere near as.

[Lewis]

Yeah, butter, butter. Butter is. Makes everything better. That's the. I learned that from the Julia Child movie.

[Zach]

Yeah. So here we are. So, you know, you live, you learn. It was fine. It was great. It was still incredible.

[Josh]

No companionship.

[Zach]

Also no companionship. But the turkey. The turkey was gone. Not a. Not a drop of turkey. You left.

[Lewis]

Hey, that's good.

[Zach]

Yeah. So, you know, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? What you guys do for. Thank you. Anything. Fun.

[Lewis]

Family.

[Josh]

That was it. I. I did family, too, but I flew in. I was in Texas the last two weeks, so I flew in, like, Thanksgiving morning, which is the greatest. It's the best airport I've ever been to.

[Zach]

Where does your family live?

[Josh]

Houston.

[Zach]

Oh, you're. So you're from Houston originally.

[Josh]

Oh, I'm originally from Queens.

[Zach]

Why did I think you were from Toronto?

[Josh]

I don't know.

[Lewis]

He has a Canadian.

[Zach]

Because every. Every Indian. Are you Indian? Is that your background?

[Josh]

I'm East African Indian.

[Zach]

East African Indian. You know what is every comic that I meet that's, like, Indian, they ended up being from fucking Canada. I got a lot of Canadians.

[Josh]

I was born in Queens, then Long island, then Houston, then New York, then back to Houston, back to New York.

[Zach]

Here it is.

[Josh]

So I flew in. We're moving to Bushwick, Me and. Me and Youngblood just got a. Oh.

[Zach]

Nice young blood moving up here.

[Josh]

He's gonna do half Houston, half New York.

[Zach]

Very cool.

[Josh]

And he told me he didn't want anybody finding out. I go, that's. That's gonna happen. So here you are.

[Zach]

Everyone knows.

[Josh]

Say it on a podcast here.

[Zach]

Yeah, yeah, that'll do it.

[Josh]

But now flew in. And then my brother lives on the Upper East. My sister lives in Hell's Kitchen. So we all met up, had a little turkey thing, and everyone was trying to watch a movie, and they all fell asleep by 10pm which is the most upsetting part of my life. I can't watch a movie with anybody anymore.

[Zach]

No, we all fall asleep if I.

[Josh]

Start a movie at 10pm Everyone is asleep at 10:30.

[Zach]

Once you're past 30 years old, that is fucking. That you are out.

[Josh]

It's the saddest, newest thing I found out where I go, all right, I'm In. Who's in? Come back. I look around. Everyone's out.

[Zach]

We watch them. What do we watch? And we fucking just. Just crash the out, dude. As soon as it goes on. Four minutes into any movie, my eyes are just.

[Lewis]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

I try now, but it's got to start before 9. Otherwise, you know what movie sucks?

[Zach]

That everyone keeps on trying to convince me is good. And I've watched two of them now.

[Josh]

What do you got?

[Zach]

Venom.

[Lewis]

Oh, God, they're so bad. Yeah, I wouldn't watch that.

[Zach]

And I love Tom Hardy, but they're terrible. His. Whatever his relationship is with Venom. Venom's trying to be funny. His voice is distracting.

[Josh]

It's when they do too much at the same time. So you can't be funny. And super serious and a marvel. It's like too much. Packed in a way.

[Zach]

Whatever it is, they're missing the mark. With Venom.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Zach]

I hate it. They need to get rid of the whole franchise.

[Josh]

I'm on you on that.

[Lewis]

Yeah, but people like you keep watching it. And that's why making more. So I stopped.

[Zach]

My son is stupid. He's 11 years old. 11 years old.

[Lewis]

Show him.

[Josh]

By people like you, you meant Puerto Ricans, right?

[Lewis]

Yeah. Puerto Ricans love Venom.

[Zach]

Can I. Josh, Can I say I've been. Been railing against people with service dogs for the past couple months on the show. Let you know. What? You know what, Josh, wait. Let's get the drama llama in here. The drama llama's here.

[Josh]

This is insane.

[Zach]

Josh, is your dog a real service dog?

[Lewis]

She is, yes.

[Zach]

You piece of lying sucker.

[Lewis]

How is that my life?

[Zach]

You lying. What is your affliction?

[Lewis]

She stops me from doing fentanyl.

[Josh]

Wait, she can sniff coke and tell.

[Lewis]

You she's with me? I don't want to do fentanyl. What else you got? I'm not.

[Zach]

I'm not.

[Lewis]

She. She will smack it out of my hand if she saw it.

[Zach]

Dougie. I'm just saying. I. There's something about.

[Lewis]

In my defense. And you've met Lekka. You've all. Have you met, like. I know exactly. You've all met. Like.

[Zach]

I don't like her too much now.

[Josh]

If you do that, you will always get me.

[Lewis]

Would you get that in Jamaica? Which trip?

[Zach]

Shannon. Apparently, Bob Marley's home is for sale in Jamaica. I'm genuinely thinking about buying it. Can you pull that up? Pull up the listing in a minute, please. Buy it after Josh explains his horseshoe.

[Josh]

By the way, I found out. Bob Marley stage name.

[Lewis]

What was his real name?

[Josh]

Robert Marley. Anyways, you're saying.

[Zach]

Go ahead. She is.

[Lewis]

She's just. You could say this. Listen, everybody. Like, you could say that I got a service animal, whatever, my dog. Nobody's ever questioned it. Like, she is a perfectly trained creature.

[Zach]

That's it.

[Lewis]

So that's. She. She'll sit there when we're on the flight or if I'm in a restaurant, she sits on the ground by my feet, doesn't move, doesn't bark, doesn't bother anybody.

[Zach]

I do. I do agree with you that your dog is a very well behaved dog. However, you are just skirting the rules of the land so you can have your dog at dinner. I didn't sign up for a dog at dinner. I signed up for a dogless dinner.

[Josh]

Then why are we eating a Thai.

[Zach]

Food once in a while? You beat Z to it.

[Zaheed]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Our eyes just lit up.

[Zaheed]

The thing that hurt is he had a sentence and I just panicked and my eyes got big and I went Chinese.

[Josh]

That should be the sound effect.

[Zach]

I signed up for a dog less dinner. I signed up for a dog less flight. And I understand that the laws exist because there's like 0.000001% of people in the world are retards that need a dog with them on a flight. But that is a small percentage of people. You're.

[Josh]

You know, he's retarded.

[Zach]

No, he's not retarded, though. He's acting like a retard to get his dog on the flight.

[Josh]

We look over, he's just working on a Rubik's.

[Zach]

Infuriated.

[Lewis]

But here's the thing. And. And if I'm not mistaken, I think. Aren't you and your son getting a dog soon?

[Josh]

Yeah, I thought you're gonna call his.

[Zach]

Son retarded, aren't you and your son, they allow you on flights.

[Lewis]

So what are you gonna do?

[Zaheed]

Okay, what would you sign up for first?

[Lewis]

What do you mean?

[Zaheed]

A childless flight with dogs or a dog less flight with children?

[Lewis]

I would choose the dogs over the kids.

[Zaheed]

Every.

[Lewis]

Kids suck. Dude, dude, I'm telling you.

[Zach]

No, I agree.

[Lewis]

Children, dude.

[Zaheed]

On the flight, you can bring kids to restaurants.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Lewis]

And they'd cry and they scream and they run around.

[Zach]

The difference was, we were all once babies. We were never dogs. We were never dogs.

[Lewis]

Band name Shannon.

[Josh]

We were never dogs.

[Zach]

We were never dogs, folks. That's a fact. We were all once a crying baby on a flight. We were all once a crying baby in a restaurant just wanting a hug from our mama. I was never.

[Zaheed]

Some of us still are.

[Zach]

I was never a Doberman pincher.

[Lewis]

First of all, Shannon, you should put on some, like, real, like, American music as he says this speech about. Yeah, some folks to the flag.

[Zach]

And I also. My son. My son's mother wants a dachshund. A little shitty great dog.

[Lewis]

Me and my ex had a long. They're the best. They're a little bitchy, too.

[Zach]

I heard they're bitches.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zach]

And I heard that very often they'll jump off the bed and snap their back, and you have to put them down. I heard very often they will simply jump onto a bed. Their back will snap in half and it'll start twitching, and you have to kill your dog because the thing that you love the most snapped in half.

[Lewis]

Just. Just somebody. A drunk guy jumping into a shallow creek.

[Zach]

So cute. I stepped on Sport maybe 30 times when he was a puppy. There's no. There's. You cannot step on a dachshund even once.

[Josh]

You named your kid Sport? Damn.

[Zach]

I named.

[Josh]

Jesus Christ.

[Lewis]

Pick the llama just fell over.

[Zach]

No. So, yeah, they want to. They want a dachshund. And will I. Will I get a little orange vest for my dachshund so it can go onto airplanes? No, I will not born if it.

[Zaheed]

Needs a construction job.

[Zach]

Well, I get him two things. To work at an airport, possibly.

[Zaheed]

No, that sounds adorable.

[Zach]

Look, if the dog was working at an airport or on a construction site, I would say, fine, give it the goddamn vest, Josh.

[Josh]

Oh, that's great.

[Lewis]

But also, your dog is a real.

[Josh]

Airbus situation.

[Lewis]

But his dog.

[Zach]

That was solid. He's crushing it today.

[Lewis]

Get, Get. Because when your dog's that big, you can just actually get. Put it in a little container. Not a container. What do you call it? Like a.

[Josh]

Like a cat.

[Lewis]

A little carrier. So then. So then it's not really a service anymore. You can still bring the dog. I. My option to fly with the dog.

[Zach]

Is to cut it into pieces.

[Lewis]

Cut it into pieces? Eat it, Poop it out. No, it's to.

[Zach]

Or.

[Lewis]

Or like, it's. I could put it in a crate and put it underneath the plane, which I'm not doing.

[Zach]

Right.

[Lewis]

Because that. They could kill the dog.

[Josh]

Yeah. That's insane.

[Lewis]

Or what do you. What do you. Yes.

[Zach]

Why do you need to bring your giant killer dog airplanes with you today? Because no one else does. It's the way.

[Lewis]

You need female companionship. I need the love of a dog.

[Zach]

What does that dog do to you, Josh? The same way.

[Lewis]

Well, listen, man, I don't have juicy.

[Josh]

Turkey for me, it's a behavioral thing. If I see a dog, I'm like, all right, that's a good dog. I'm happy he's on the flight, but if I see, like, the same way, if I see, like a fucked up baby, I'm like, take your shitty.

[Lewis]

Baby sucks, dude. The babies suck. The dog. My dog hasn't made one fucking noise.

[Josh]

Your dog's cool. That's awesome.

[Zach]

Every time I see, it could be a person. It could be like, I'm talking about blind, deaf, in a wheelchair, twitching. If they have a dog next to them, I'm like, is that a real service dog? Is that real? Show me your papers.

[Josh]

You just don't believe Goebbels is the best name for adults.

[Zach]

That's a great name for bad. Shannon, can I have another coffee, please?

[Lewis]

Shannon, can I have a water refill?

[Josh]

Shannon, can I also have a coffee, please?

[Zach]

Also, Shannon, I'm getting hungry. Can you send Karen to grab my breakfast sandwich?

[Josh]

I'd like a third turkey.

[Zach]

And also, Shannon, in 30 minutes, you.

[Lewis]

Turn my voice up in my own headphones. I don't know how that's.

[Zach]

You have. It's.

[Lewis]

It's not working. No.

[Zach]

There it. No.

[Lewis]

Jesus Christ.

[Josh]

I really felt like I was yelling.

[Zach]

Check.

[Josh]

Check.

[Lewis]

I did fix it. Holy. I thought I turned it up and it didn't fucking work.

[Zach]

Shannon, what's going on with. With Bob Marley's home?

[Shannon]

Okay, so there's a couple different articles. They don't seem to agree on the price, but what it's listed on this article is for $16.8 million. So it's. It's currently being used as a hotel. So they're still using that. In the meantime, I'll.

[Zach]

Wait a minute. Is it the Rock House?

[Shannon]

No, it's. It's called Strawberry Hill.

[Zach]

If they sold the Rock House, I'd be so upset.

[Lewis]

Is that the place?

[Zach]

I love the Rock House, my favorite hotel in Jamaica.

[Josh]

O.

[Lewis]

You walk in there, bullet should cost $50,000.

[Zach]

No, it's really like. Like the Rolling Stones would stay there. Bob Marley would stay there. It's like a really. After this, pull up the Rock House in Negril. This is his home?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach]

This is it.

[Josh]

Damn.

[Shannon]

For 17 million, it's a 26 acre estate.

[Zach]

I mean, already I'm letting you know that.

[Lewis]

Imagine that could be you and your special lady on a vacation.

[Zach]

I just feel like, like, 3, 4 million is the most I'm spending on a home in Jamaica. This is crazy. Thank you.

[Zaheed]

Do you think that obviously it's more expensive because it's got his legacy with it.

[Lewis]

Right.

[Zach]

Of course. Yeah.

[Lewis]

I know. I wish.

[Zach]

Is there no more pictures? Just that that's it. That's not a very.

[Shannon]

There's a couple more.

[Zach]

Is there not a listing? Go to Zillow. Shannon.

[Shannon]

I. I tried. It's not up there.

[Zach]

Damn.

[Shannon]

Here's some more pictures.

[Zach]

Yeah, it's very nice.

[Shannon]

They say it's like 12 different cottages as part of this resort.

[Josh]

Go to Rillo Only made me laugh.

[Zach]

It's not bad. I liked it. It's nice. It's nice. It's just the first. I'm not spending $17 million on that. That's crazy.

[Lewis]

That's.

[Josh]

I.

[Zach]

$17 million.

[Josh]

Any home is insane.

[Lewis]

17 million max is two in Jamaica. That feels a little over.

[Zach]

Look up $17 million in Houston. Where you're from. It's gonna get. You could buy Houston. I'm pretty sure you could buy the entire city of Houston.

[Josh]

You could buy an entire church and lock out the entire city when it floods. It's a Joel Osteen. You.

[Zach]

Pull up the rock house in Jamaica. I'm gonna go here. Maybe the winner of the. The new contest.

[Josh]

Are you trying to buy. Are you trying to buy a place in Jamaica?

[Zach]

No, I'm not trying to buy a place in Jamaica. I don't. I feel like that's not a good place to buy Jews to vacation property.

[Josh]

Why not? I'm asking legit. I don't know.

[Zach]

Because it. I feel like the. In order to maintain it, there's a lot. Like there's not. There's not a lot of laws there. So I feel like if you're not living there, you're almost guaranteed some is going to be going on. I just feel like it's going to be a whole. To do.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Zach]

To try to. There's a lot of crime. The laws are really wonky. Like. Like there's a lot of. It doesn't seem like a very safe investment.

[Lewis]

Sorry, man. You were never here. So we took the place over.

[Zach]

Hey, man, we killed your d. We did.

[Lewis]

That is not the service animal.

[Josh]

Jamaicans not believing in service dogs is fantastic. That's so funny.

[Lewis]

Show me the papers, man. Come on there.

[Zach]

Shannon, we got to. We got a lookalike contest submission.

[Zaheed]

The little loud man. He just want attention on the fly.

[Lewis]

The baby.

[Zach]

The baby.

[Lewis]

Quieter than the dog there, man.

[Zach]

Shannon, what is the first lookalike contest submission? So it's from Dwayne Lewis and Zack Gmail dot com. Is it Dwayne the Rock Johnson trying to look like me. Is that who it is, Shannon? Tell me it is.

[Shannon]

It's not.

[Zach]

How cool would that be if the rock was listening to the show?

[Lewis]

Pretty sick.

[Shannon]

Here's. Here's this guy.

[Zaheed]

All right.

[Zach]

Is this guy Zach look alike?

[Zaheed]

I'd hope so. For Shannon's sake. Yes, I would hope so. I'll take it.

[Josh]

Oh, I could see it.

[Zach]

Not bad.

[Josh]

I want to see what? His without the hat on.

[Lewis]

Does he have vitiligo? Is that what it's called?

[Josh]

Vitally. Yeah.

[Lewis]

He's like. Your skin color's gone. Like, he's got like, Crusty the Clown makeup.

[Josh]

Vitiligo. Except your skin just turns gay. I've got vitiligo. It's late.

[Zaheed]

He has no shirt on there.

[Josh]

Yeah. Oh, he looks like the.

[Lewis]

Can we zoom in on what he has in the background in the medicine cabinet?

[Zach]

Let's. Let's see.

[Lewis]

Can we get.

[Josh]

It's just.

[Zach]

Oh, there are medicines.

[Lewis]

Yeah. Oh, damn.

[Josh]

That's a good suit.

[Lewis]

Jesus Christ.

[Josh]

That is a solid suit. I know that. Air fresher. It's the worst one.

[Shannon]

It's empty.

[Zach]

Yeah, it's empty. And all of his pill bottles are empty too. Sir, you need to throw out your empty pill bottles.

[Josh]

What if there's just one bottle of mayonnaise this bathroom.

[Zach]

Oh, I like this guy.

[Josh]

Yeah, I like him too.

[Zach]

So what do we do, Shannon? I think we should. If we just feature them on the show, we should give them some sort of prize.

[Shannon]

Well, he's. He's in the running. He's in the running.

[Josh]

He's definitely not running.

[Lewis]

He's definitely.

[Zach]

If you guys want to join the the lookalike contest and submit to win a. What are we giving them?

[Josh]

Easy pass us.

[Zach]

Shannon, you know what we should do? We should give them mini drama llamas. Can you get little miniature llamas that we send out? How fun is that?

[Shannon]

I'll try to find some.

[Zaheed]

I bet we get them printed in China or something.

[Zach]

I bet we can find little mini drama llamas to give them the look like contest. If you look like me, Zach, or anybody else from the gas desert world and you guys want to be featured on the show, email us at Lewis and Zach gmail dot com. We're also doing another cont test. We're trying to find a date for column Tur's wedding. For me, one lucky lady or man can get to be my date to Colum Turl's wedding. All expensive, paid trip. This a very wait to Ireland. No, no, no, no. It's in Jersey. So crazy. Yeah. Lewis and zack Gmail.com is the email address. Send in a one to two minute video expressing why you'd be the best date for me for Colum Tur's wedding. We're going to have multiple rounds. It's going to be a ton of fun. Last time the contest winner she was. She left very happy. Very happy. It was the Maddie Jester skull's wedding. There was no famous people there. This wedding will be. It's being officiated by big J. Bobby Kelly is going to be there. There's real deal comedians from Sirius XM that will be at this wedding. Just so you guys know.

[Lewis]

We will not you and I.

[Josh]

No, I didn't. Tell me. I'm gonna text him.

[Zach]

Don't you hate when you hear about somebody's wedding?

[Josh]

This is why I've always said this. I hate white immigrants. They're the worst ones.

[Zach]

Mark Norman didn't invite me to his wedding. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill Mark. Tragedy. Let it be known that cocksucker invited Burt Kreischer. When a climbing even know Burt Kreischer, he invited. You hear about all the people at Mark Norman's bachelor party. It was all a bunch of famous people. None of them are actually his friends. Mark Norman is a climber and he's dead to me. Let it be known.

[Josh]

Can't even imagine what those vows were like.

[Lewis]

All right, I do marriage.

[Zach]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank small batch cigar for being a longtime supporter of the show. We love small batch cigar. It's exactly that. They have cigars in small batches so they are super fresh. Shipped directly to you. And truly the best line of products for any online tobacconist you could find.

[Zaheed]

There's free shipping on every order and almost every order arrives within two to three business days in the continental United States. It comes with a Boveda 69 humidity pack, so they're very fresh. The most thorough packaging in the industry and you earn 5% rewards points instantly.

[Zach]

Every time you buy just right now. Go to smallbatchcigar.com when you check out, use the promo code GAS10. You're gonna save 10 off. Plus get those 5% rewards points once again, that a smallbatchcigar.com use that promo code GAS10 for 10 off and 5% rewards points. All right, where were we? Shannon? Let's see. What do you have a deformed neighbor, Josh.

[Lewis]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna do it now. All right, you guys want to see some dude.

[Josh]

Great traders.

[Lewis]

So. All right, so today is a big day. So I live in a pre Civil war building. I have a nice apartment. But there is a guy that has been living there that people have said is homeless. And for the first few years I didn't notice him. And it wasn't until about a year and a half ago that his apartment, which is below me. I'm. I'm not like directly below me, but there's like a studio when you walk down the steps on the fifth floor, on the fourth floor is 4B. He. It just smells and it's gotten worse and worse and worse. And finally I started seeing the guy. He looks like the, the, the. The old man from Home Alone. You know what I mean? This like the shoveling dude. And they say that it's because the landlord is a slumlord and he has. He's done so much bad with the city that he took in this homeless guy for like 2 grand a month as like subsidies. So we basically get a break from the city and it's gotten worse and worse and worse. And I see the guy. This is what I'm going to show you. I see the guy. Guy sleeping on the street and I'm like, let me get a video of him because he won't be in his apartment. He'll just be sleeping on the street. And I get this video and suddenly his pants are falling down and I see this.

[Zach]

Oh, let's.

[Lewis]

So if you want to.

[Zach]

Oh. Oh. This is your guy.

[Lewis]

This is. This is my neighbor.

[Zach]

This is your neighbor.

[Lewis]

This is the neighbor. That's real dude.

[Josh]

He has a wasp nest in his pants.

[Zach]

What part of.

[Zaheed]

Where does that go in jeans? It looks like a head.

[Zach]

Maybe it's. Maybe it's a woman and she's giving birth. Josh. Maybe it's the. Maybe it's the.

[Lewis]

Is it.

[Zach]

Maybe it's a circle of life happening before your very eyes. Maybe she's something so judgmental. You and your killer dog.

[Lewis]

Shut the up, dude.

[Zach]

Dude.

[Lewis]

What is that?

[Zach]

Crazy. Giving birth to a full size adult.

[Lewis]

What is that? That is. That is scrotum.

[Josh]

It feels like you left your phone on panorama mode.

[Lewis]

Just kept on. Dude, I have the actual video it too. Like so. It's like it's. This is just a still from it.

[Josh]

Ah, this breaks my heart. But also this is insane.

[Lewis]

Holy. What's in that pot too?

[Josh]

Yeah, also, if you're going to have a pot, go inside. That's where the stove is.

[Unknown]

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[Lewis]

So my but I recorded this not as like I'm trying to shame the guy.

[Zach]

You and I mean this you're literally trying to shame the guy. No other reason to record it. We're doing it on a show.

[Josh]

Wait, maybe that's, maybe that's his support.

[Zach]

Maybe that's support support, growth, cancer.

[Zaheed]

I just figured out what that looks like.

[Lewis]

What?

[Zaheed]

Turn around. Bring it back up.

[Lewis]

You know if I but it was, the thing was I was like if there's any show that I could bring this out on.

[Zaheed]

Well you said they're, they're kick. Are they kicking them out?

[Lewis]

They're not kicking him out. They're like they're fumigating his place. They're going to clean out the apartment and I think it's because the whole city like we, we've, we've like you know, gone to like the health board and said it smells like and, and dude, it's.

[Zach]

It's like, I can't believe Josh fake dog certification. Adam is going to the city.

[Lewis]

He's gonna keep my dog.

[Zach]

Is. Dude, it's legally going to the city for this guy. He's got cancer of the balls. Josh is complaining about this actual victim right here.

[Josh]

You should give that guy orange vest on his.

[Zaheed]

On his balls.

[Lewis]

Oh, my God.

[Zach]

Oh.

[Zaheed]

They say it's a service tumor.

[Lewis]

Here's what's funny, is that we've done these like you've done these. What do they call it? Where they. The. The check on them. A wellness check to make sure that. Because I'm like, dude, he's got to be crazy. And they knock on the door and he's key. Answers every question because he knows what day it is.

[Zach]

He's great. He's holding his balls. What's your problem? It's like, how am I doing? Pretty sweet.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zach]

If you ask me. Got huge balls.

[Zaheed]

Me, lefty and righty. We're having a great day, right, boys? Like the way a guy kisses his bicep.

[Lewis]

The gun shows in town.

[Zach]

How about you mind your business? That's what I'd say.

[Josh]

You think there's like, a Wilson handprint on it?

[Lewis]

He slams the door with his balls. Knows it.

[Zach]

God damn. Damn, dude.

[Lewis]

Yeah, man.

[Zach]

People are freaking out. I didn't do any research on this beyond the fact that I saw. People are upset about it. But I guess Hunter Biden or Joe Biden is pardoning Hunter Biden. Yeah.

[Lewis]

I mean, that makes sense. Yeah, it's. Of course it is.

[Zach]

What was. What were the charges?

[Lewis]

Tax evasion. And he lied on a form for.

[Josh]

A gun and just general disappointment.

[Zach]

Can I not pay my taxes? Is it easier to befriend the president and not pay my taxes?

[Zaheed]

Now pay my taxes.

[Zach]

I think so.

[Zaheed]

He's got a pipeline.

[Zach]

There's a path to be becoming friends with Trump. Stopping to pay taxes for the next four years and getting him departed me instead of just paying all the taxes.

[Lewis]

You're Puerto Rican. They're not pardon.

[Zach]

Rican. Yes, you're right. I agree.

[Zaheed]

That's what I say to people as me and Louis leave establishments.

[Zach]

Pardon, Pardon, Pardon. What were the actual charges? Tax evasion. What else?

[Lewis]

Lying on a gun form.

[Josh]

What did he lie about?

[Lewis]

I don't. I don't know. He just. But he lied to get a gun.

[Zaheed]

Was it something that he said? He had no criminal charges?

[Lewis]

I think so. I. I'm. I'm not sure. But I know that those. The tax evasion and the Gun thing are the two big things on a form.

[Josh]

You just write white and they're like, oh, please.

[Zach]

This guy, this guy who know. I don't know about him or what he did or.

[Josh]

I mean, there's some pretty cool photos of him.

[Zach]

Dog, it's your kid. Kid. My kid. My kid could murder a hooker. Pardon? I'm gonna help him hide the body. Yeah, I'm. If he gets caught, I'm taking the fall. That is my son. That is my child. It doesn't matter what he did. If he murders people, if he molests children, I up as a parent. This is all on me. I deserve the punishment.

[Josh]

I was with you until that last part.

[Zach]

He's my baby boy. He can touch other baby boys all he wants.

[Josh]

Once I'm like, you did a what to a kid? You're not mine.

[Lewis]

I'm sorry.

[Zach]

But you wouldn't feel. If your kid became a child molester, you wouldn't feel like you up somewhere along the way.

[Lewis]

My dog. Your dog molested a child. All right, Put that vest on and be like, we gotta go.

[Zach]

We gotta go.

[Lewis]

Get off the flight.

[Josh]

My dog molested a child. Just an incredible sentence.

[Zach]

I mean, dogs regularly do molest children do dogs. Oh, really? The first time I was ever sexualized was by a dog.

[Josh]

Sexualized?

[Zach]

Sexualized, yeah.

[Zaheed]

Like they hump you.

[Zach]

They hump you.

[Lewis]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The slicky.

[Zach]

Yeah, it's all right.

[Lewis]

Get that slicky out.

[Josh]

It's all right. Get a free one in. It's not bad.

[Zach]

So, yeah. But I, you know, how are you not gonna pardon your child? You're gonna pardon your child. He.

[Lewis]

But it was. It was. I think why it's really a story is because he and the girl that like does his press. Media has been saying he's not going. Going to. He's not going to do it. He's going to let the legal process.

[Josh]

There's no way that happens.

[Lewis]

No, but it's, it's. I mean if you. There's like clips of it. That's the right. Playing over and over and over.

[Zach]

But I just. You're. I guess so. The hypocrisy.

[Zaheed]

But yeah.

[Zach]

I just don't care.

[Josh]

And I.

[Zach]

And I won't. And I won't even waste my time. Sure. But if I had to guess, if you were to go through every presidential pardon in history, I'm assuming every one of them pardoned some actual real pieces of. So I'm talking about some fucking. Real fucking scumbag. Not people who are cheating on their taxes or lying on a gun form some real fucking criminals that are.

[Zaheed]

I think that's like a last day as president. Kind of like.

[Zach]

Yeah, no, they do.

[Zaheed]

That's what you do is you're leaving.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Zaheed]

All your bros. Yeah.

[Lewis]

Didn't. Wait, didn't Trump pardon Kodak Black, the rapper? Like, it's just so red. I don't know why.

[Zach]

He also pardoned Susan B. Anthony on the 100th anniversary of her being convicted of voting fraudulently.

[Josh]

Oh, really?

[Lewis]

I thought you were going to submit this into a, like a bit.

[Zach]

I swear to God that's a true thing. Because I did actually. I did actually look up the list of every person that the president's pardon this morning because I was like, this is retarded. I'm sure it's way worse. I know for a fact it's way worse. I just won't go through the list.

[Josh]

Hey, Susan B. Anthony and women be shopping.

[Zach]

I like it. It. Let's see. Racist Karen kicked off United Airlines shuttle bus. Did she deserve to be on the no fly list? I've gotten really good at holding my temper in really moments. I was. My sister the other day I was on the phone.

[Josh]

Are you starting tomorrow?

[Zach]

No, I'm done. When in, in times when it's going to ruin my life. Oh yeah, I feel that with police airline.

[Josh]

Real question.

[Zach]

Hilton. I know I'm on my last. Like, there's a few hotel chains that I'm banned from and I'm Hilton diamond status. So I like, I go in, I'm like, okay, anything you say, sir. I keep my diamond.

[Josh]

Real question, please. What year did that happen for you? Because I'm 37 and I feel like this is maybe the second year where like my temper is like in check now. Where I'm like, all right, I kind of hold it in because I don't really get mad that often. But when I do, it's so I.

[Zach]

Used to do this a lot. I would, I would, you know, if you guys been watching these shows for a while, you know about my quote unquote incidents, right? And they're much, they're much less often. Now what I define as an incident is a public outburst where somebody may pull out their phone and start filming you. That's an incident if you've created enough of an outburst where other people walking by might go, what's going on over here?

[Lewis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach]

And that, that if I go by that standard, I'm fairly incident prone. Right.

[Zaheed]

Escalating a situation into a scene.

[Zach]

Escalating A situation into a scene. Right. Even when you're justified. Most often I am justified. And then the incident becomes unjustified. There. There crosses a threshold.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Zach]

It's always this. I'm always justified. And then I'm seeking justice. And the process in which I seek justice. Similar to Venom. Very similar to Venom. Not that funny. Seek justice a little too far. Goes a little too far while seeking just. I see the similarities.

[Lewis]

There's multiple episodes of it.

[Zach]

A lot of. Yeah, there. We're going into the third version of this movie right now. I'm learning a little something about myself. Okay. No, but I. Maybe you're right. Maybe I was around your age. It was maybe once my son got old enough to be a little bit more conscious.

[Josh]

Yeah, because you don't. You also don't want to.

[Zach]

You don't want to. You don't want to put it on him.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zaheed]

I feel like your turning point was when you threw the coffee at the guy in the silly suit.

[Zach]

I did throw coffee at a guy. To the suit.

[Lewis]

Wait, what?

[Zaheed]

But I feel like that you were very aware that he was there.

[Zach]

Yes. So my son was like three maybe at the time. And there was a guy walking by. I was in an Uber, and he was. He was just a. Where. And I've told the story on the show, so I'll give you the quick version. But he was wearing what I would only describe as a silly suit. Like an ironic. Some Brooklyn. Yeah, some Brooklyn. Wearing a suit with silly socks and a dumb tie. What a cunt. Ugh. If you're gonna wear a suit, wear a suit. Don't wear a silly asshole suit, you cunt.

[Josh]

I agree with you, actually.

[Zach]

Right. So I'm running late. I'm in an Uber, as always. I'm running late. So the guy's crossing, like, really slowly, right? Like really, really slow. I got a latte in my hand, so I'm like, hey, buddy, come on, we gotta go. So he stops in front of the car, crosses his little silly arms.

[Lewis]

Oh, my God, I hate.

[Zach]

Like, really?

[Lewis]

I would get out and beat him.

[Zach]

No, But I'm with my 3 year old, so I'm trying. I'm like, oh, use the three to beat him with. So. So what I do was we start rolling by him and then I take my latte and I throw it at him and it just splashes all over his silly suit. Right? And then we drive off and he's like, yeah. So then like, I. I didn't actually throw the cup I threw. I took the lid off And I did one of those.

[Zaheed]

Yeah, you real housewives.

[Lewis]

Them.

[Zach]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh]

And you kept the cup.

[Zach]

It was all. It was all pouring down my hand. Right, right. And my son was sitting right there. I was like, oh. I was like, oh. I just. I just spilled my coffee. Damn. I can't believe he's like, daddy, you didn't spill your coffee. You threw your coffee all over that man over there. And I was like, oh, Dad, I. Whoops. Accident. And that was maybe the first time that I realized that those things aren't right in front of a child, that.

[Josh]

You'Re setting an example.

[Zach]

I'm setting an example. But it wasn't even. I don't know if it was so much my child. It was almost like I realized through trial and error that it wasn't going to get you anywhere to scream and yell for things. It did one time, years ago. It did. I was a Sprint member, the cell phone company. And I remember.

[Josh]

I. Yeah, we didn't think you were running for stuff.

[Zach]

Whatever. Whatever. Whatever reason. It was like, I went into the Sprint store and there was a problem with my phone. You know the Patrice O'Neill bit where.

[Lewis]

The black woman, like, she'll get you everything.

[Zach]

A black woman. This. This was me. Like, I. It's. It's such a great bit where he talks about how his. His chick would go into the cell phone store to get him a new phone because he dropped it in the toilet. Yeah. And she just, like, essentially just dressed them down until they did it, and she screamed and yelled. So I did that one time when I was, like, 19, I went to the Sprint store and I screamed and yelled to the point. Eventually they went, fine, dude, here's a new phone. Phone. Cool. And then I was like, that's the way. And then for like a decade and a half, I screamed and yelled at everybody. It never worked again. Not once did it ever get me further. It only caused massive problems in my life across the board. And I think maybe four or five years ago, I came to the conclusion that, you know what? Yelling at customer service people is never going to be the way.

[Josh]

Well, even. Yeah, I was gonna say, because after. It's not even customer service. Like, my family will take it out of me. But, like, the. The day after where you're like, I can't believe I said all like, it. It feels like a drunk moment where you're like, I got so mad. I. I said all this horrible anger. There's a thing afterwards, you're like, I.

[Zach]

Don'T know if you guys Feel it the way. Like, I do have real anger problems. I've been in anger management. And there's like a moment where it's like blindingly rageful. And you. This is actually. I see this very often. This will happen. It'll be a guy who gets. Who does suicide by police. I feel for that guy because he didn't go get up that day saying, I'm gonna fucking get killed by the cops today. He was probably running late for work. Then his girlfriend called him to about something. Then he stubbed his toe. Then some guy behind the counter at the deli gave him a attitude. Then a person caught him in line for Starbucks. And then all of a sudden, you're in the middle of the street going, kill me. I see that. Like, I could. I just. The moment that that all happens, I have so much empathy for.

[Zaheed]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Because I've had moments where I've been so angry, where you just. You literally go, yo, fuck you. Yeah, I'm giving up. I watched a video with a girl. She was like, arguing with a guy and she was like, yo, fuck you, motherfucker. Stop filming me. Stop filming. And then the cops come and they're like, miss, you gotta stop crushing. She's like, fuck you, pig. Then they start to arrest her, and she's like, why are you arresting me? And she's just like. In this moment of like. And you go. Like. She just was like, she's not even in control, like, real anger like that. And I'm not saying you can act that way. Obviously, you have to fix yourself. She was 19 or whatever. But that was sort of like. Like, I would get so angry that whatever was going on didn't matter. Whether it's being embarrassed, whether it's getting kicked out of a place, whether. And I just think now that I have a little bit more of a public Persona. I do. I. I'll be. I was. I got an Uber the other day, and I was just annoyed that the Uber crossed the street and didn't drop me off where I was being dropped off at. And I was kind of huffing and puffing. I didn't even give the guy real attitude. I was kind of. And then a guy walked over to get in the car. Before I got out of it, he was getting. It was his Uber. So he goes to open it. And I was about to lay into this guy. I was like. I was like. Like, yo, bro. I'm like, whatever it was, I got caught up in the moment, right? And then as soon as I looked up, he's like, l. Gomez. And I'm lucky that he said that first, cuz I was about to be like, hey, face, I'm in this car. It's. It's a. Like that anger. My. See, with my. My sister has it. I watched my. I was on the phone with her the other day. I don't even know what she was doing. My. My whole neighborhood where I live in Jersey right now.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Zach]

They're digging up everything, like, my entire town.

[Josh]

Why?

[Zach]

They're. They're. I think they're relaying the earth under my town. I think that's the whole plan is just that. You know what? You need new earth. You need new earth. Your whole town.

[Lewis]

Not what it is. There's actually a purpose. I do like the idea of East New Brunswick, definitely. Again, we can earth this up, baby.

[Zach]

They need it. They need some.

[Zaheed]

You're trying to figure out where all the Puerto Ricans are coming from.

[Lewis]

Yeah, they're like. It's. Are they. Judd? Should they be doing this, by the way?

[Zach]

They're doing something with the core and the crust. I have no clue. But they're shifting the earth underneath my town.

[Josh]

All right.

[Zach]

For three months. That's fine. But my sister was. Whatever. I just. I was on the phone with her. She was trying to get to me. She was like, bring me something from the store. And I just hear her. She's, like, talking to a cop. And the cops like, miss, you got to go back around that way. You can't be speeding through the neighborhood like this. She's like, I'm not speeding. I'm not speeding. You know what? He's like, miss, I'm gonna give you a ticket. She's like, give me a ticket. Meanwhile, literally, I know for a fact if this guy gives my sister a ticket, they're going to tow her car because her insurance is expired, so there's no giving her a ticket. I'm literally going, jenny, shut the up. You're going to be arrested. It's not even just getting pulled over. You're. You're getting a ticket. They're going to impound your car and they're going to arrest you. Because you literally told me that you have to borrow money for your insurance today. I know for a fact.

[Lewis]

Car, go, bye. Bye.

[Zach]

You see red and you just allow yourself to like.

[Lewis]

Did you ever see that video of the guy? I guess his daughter is giving birth and he's in his, like, truck and he's trying to get to the hospital, but the roads are blocked off because there's A. There's a parade. And so he drives through the thing and he's like. He drives into the parade. He's almost like cops are chasing him and. But he's like. He's literally. He's just like, you with hair. Just like, what the fuck? Like, I can't get over here. Just scream.

[Zach]

I get it. I get it, dude. Yeah.

[Josh]

Now, what if somebody. I'm just pitching this. What if somebody gave you a small dog to help you calm down?

[Zach]

Oh, wouldn't do it.

[Josh]

You wouldn't do it.

[Zach]

Wouldn't do it.

[Josh]

If you were like, fuck.

[Lewis]

All right, this is nice. You did. That's a great point.

[Zach]

That's actually a great point. Because could a. Could there be an emotional support dog that legitimately calms me down when I have. Have angry outbursts? 100.

[Unknown]

100.

[Zach]

Without.

[Josh]

It doesn't have to wear the vest.

[Zach]

I don't think that that is an appropriate solution for my anger, bringing a dog into everybody else's restaurant.

[Josh]

So you'd rather just work on yourself? Ew.

[Zach]

Yes. No, no. I think it's more appropriate for me to. Instead of me bringing a dog into a restaurant, if a waiter gets my order wrong, it's more appropriate for me to stand on the table and start kicking dishes off the table and screaming and cursing at everybody. That is less of an inconvenience than a chow chow sitting next to me.

[Zaheed]

That's a Puerto Rican one star review, by the way, Shannon. Well, you don't have to bring it up right now, but. Shannon, can you queue up? There's a video of a girl climbing on top of a guy's car, and he's trying to drive away, and she's trying to reach in through the door of the car. It just went up on Twitter, like, yesterday.

[Lewis]

Twitter is killing it with it's such.

[Zaheed]

A blind rage moment. And I think Lewis will really connect to it.

[Lewis]

There's. Because I wanted. I was gonna say it earlier. All those videos that you're talking about of, like, the people flipping out on cops and doing stupid. This. There's this great Twitter account, Washington's Ghost. I don't know if you guys ever get that. It's. I think it's quasi racist too, but it's like Twitter.

[Josh]

It's definitely quasi. Yeah.

[Lewis]

It's like, I. I love it.

[Zaheed]

That would be my name if I lived in a bell tower.

[Zach]

I was just getting. I was just. Dude racist.

[Josh]

The lunch back of I can't believe.

[Zaheed]

You'Re dating a dong.

[Zach]

Oh, do you have that video? Shannon? We still don't have the races. Karen kicked off the shuttle bus.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I have that one if you want to see.

[Zach]

Why don't we do that one first?

[Zaheed]

Yeah, yeah, do. Yep.

[Zach]

One thing at a time.

[Shannon]

Okay, here it is. So it's going to start with the guy who's filming it, explaining it.

[Josh]

It's boiling right now. I honestly know that guy believe something just is a real thing. We were just. This altercation with this.

[Lewis]

With this lady who was giving us a really hard time telling the kids.

[Josh]

My kids to shut up.

[Zach]

Well, pause it. Yeah, you can't tell somebody's kids to shut up. No, if you're. If you're going to tell somebody's kids to shut up, that is you saying, I'm willing to fight the father.

[Lewis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach]

It's the equivalent of smacking a man in the face if you tell his kids to shut up.

[Josh]

Yeah. Cuz now he's like, now I'm blind.

[Zach]

My kid's not going to have a memory of some telling him to shut up without me defending him, period. I don't give a. Yeah, yeah. Period.

[Josh]

Yeah. It's a coffee moment.

[Zach]

All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Yo Delta for supporting today's show. Yo, Delta is an incredible company that's been with us for a very long time. And if you like getting high, why not get high legally and have Delta 8 gummies and vapes shipped directly to your door?

[Zaheed]

And you guys know what Delta 8 is? Something found in hemp that can be legally shipped to various states, and it gets you high. Yo, Delta has a great mix of gummies and vapes for all you're getting stone needs. But, hey, let me tell you. Guys, guys, this Delta 8 stuff works. And these products should be taken responsibly.

[Zach]

All you got to do is go to yodelta.com, use the promo code GAS when you check out, you're going to save 25 off your order. It's already affordable, it's legal, it's shipped right to your door. What is there not to love? Get stoned with us with yodelta.com promo code GAS for 25%. All right, let's get back into it. Good.

[Lewis]

You know, you don't have a right to talk to my kids like that.

[Josh]

And then the rest of this is what she said.

[Lewis]

I'm a prick.

[Zach]

Your family is from India. You have no. You have no respect.

[Unknown]

You have no rules.

[Lewis]

Was it you push everyone?

[Zach]

Did you say your family's from India.

[Josh]

You have no respect, no rules.

[Zach]

Oh, I'm on her side now. I didn't realize this was a racist thing. I have no idea.

[Lewis]

She said it was a racist.

[Zach]

Oh, never mind. I'm back. Yeah.

[Zaheed]

What are you guys doing riding on the inside of the bus?

[Josh]

I was like, what are you doing.

[Lewis]

On the bus, lady?

[Zach]

Shannon or. Sorry, real quick. Just Ray Pen kill called Zach the lunch back of Notre Dame. That was pretty good. It's actually. She get a little credit for that one in the racist live chat.

[Josh]

She has some in her back.

[Zach]

She has curry. What if she just carries all racist props for every day? Oh, some watermelon for the black family. Me.

[Josh]

Wow. Please, please, by all means. No. You can remove her though, for being rude and racist right now. Can you do that or no?

[Unknown]

It doesn't care about racist.

[Lewis]

You're racist towards me.

[Zach]

Well, I don't think you could. Can you remove people from a bus for being racist?

[Josh]

I don't know.

[Lewis]

It's the bus.

[Zach]

I mean, I feel like anything goes on the bus.

[Lewis]

That's where the racism go down because it's.

[Zach]

It's the type of people. People. I'm not being an here, but it's the type of people that are on a bus. No matter what side of the spectrum you're on, whether you're a brown, whether you're a racist, you're riding a bus.

[Josh]

It's where the cell phone music with no headphones happens.

[Lewis]

Yes, but this is a airport bus. This is a different shuttle.

[Josh]

This is shuttle.

[Lewis]

This is not the bus to uptown.

[Josh]

I didn't realize that you dropped.

[Lewis]

They dropped a rental car off. I do this all the time.

[Zach]

You're going just dependent. Depends. It depends if they're. If you're doing a shuttle to your local Hilton, you just didn't get an Uber. You get into a taxi line. You're taking the local airport shuttle. That's also trash behavior.

[Lewis]

I think you get to. If I rent a card at lax, I got to take the. The shuttle to.

[Zach]

You're right. There are certain times where the only way I. I believe jfk. There's only way to get. Or. No, LAX actually is one.

[Lewis]

LAX and jfk, you have to take.

[Zach]

A shuttle to get to the. To Uber. So I'm not hating waiting. If she's.

[Josh]

You want to know what the destination is?

[Zach]

They're at lax. They're taking your shuttle to an Uber. Fine. You can't be racist.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zach]

However, if they're shuttling right now to their local Hilton Garden Inn, I think.

[Lewis]

They'Re going to the airport. No, they're going to the airport because he's recording that from the airport. They dropped her. I will bet money. I just see the whole dropping the rental car off, off at Herz or Enterprise, and the bus is now taking them. She doesn't have Herz energy. She has, like, Avis.

[Josh]

I'll tell you something.

[Lewis]

She's.

[Josh]

She. She hurts his feelings.

[Zach]

Go ahead. You're not American.

[Josh]

No, not American.

[Zach]

Not originally, no. You're from. Shannon, pause this for a second. I believe. My understanding is you don't have to blank this out on YouTube. The video. Video, Shannon, because this is our entire setup. This isn't just showing that video. I believe our heads in front of this video makes it so that we're safe from copyright claims. Am I wrong about that?

[Josh]

Wait, what's the question?

[Zach]

But because here's the thing, what I've noticed is I go back and I watch a lot of the shows when we put them on. On YouTube. In fact, we'll do our plugs here in just a second. We never even plugged anything. But. So we do edit. We edit it, and we don't edit it to make it annoying. We edit it because there's certain words you can't say. There's certain things you can't show. We don't want to get copyright claims. We don't want the channel to be flagged for inappropriate content. So we bleep out the curse words. We. We edit out certain things. But if we are, it's not like we're just showing a video on the screen which can be copyrighted. I believe our heads being in front of that screen makes it so that it becomes our video. In fact, Shannon, what I would say is maybe make it to our heads or even more in the frame. And I believe you're not going to have. Because I. Here's what I think. If I'm watching this on YouTube, I want to be able to see her. I want to be able to see what they're saying. And it is not a very enjoyable process to watch the show if that's completely blurred out and you can't see what we're talking about. Am I crazy?

[Zaheed]

That makes sense.

[Josh]

Makes sense.

[Zach]

Shannon, am I crazy about this?

[Shannon]

No. I'm gonna double check with G, Mike and Becca because I feel like they know a little bit more about the strikes from YouTube.

[Zach]

Yeah, I know. So people are saying we freeze frame it. We do freeze frame it very often. Sometimes they blur it all together. I just think certain things, like this video is not gonna be Even if we just played this video, it's not gonna be copyright claimed. Who's gonna copyright claim it? The guy who posted the video. He's not not he wants it spread. The only people who copyright claim things are like actual channels who are making money off their. You know what I'm saying?

[Josh]

Like, I wouldn't worry about it on this one.

[Zach]

I, yeah, yeah. I, I, I don't want to turn people off from watching the show on.

[Josh]

Be weird if that guy's like, this is copyrighted.

[Lewis]

Hey, man, my video, my video.

[Zaheed]

Could you just call him and ask.

[Zach]

If we use it?

[Lewis]

Call the woman Siri.

[Josh]

Call my uncle.

[Zach]

Runaway Slav says Louis. Maybe don't change the name of your show, you silly sp pick. No, I think it was a good idea to change the name of the show.

[Zaheed]

I'm fine with it.

[Zach]

Great, Great idea to change the name of the show. Let's do plugs real quick. We got a little bit of time left here. I'm staying in the city all day, so I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere right now. I'm gonna get a workout in right after this.

[Lewis]

And where do you work out here?

[Zach]

Lifetime. I no longer allowed an equinox.

[Lewis]

Why? Oh, you. I never.

[Zaheed]

Too many incidents.

[Zach]

Outbursts.

[Lewis]

Outburst.

[Zach]

Josh J. Meyers, what are you plugging, my friend?

[Lewis]

The 500 podcast I'm going through. Rolling Stone magazine listed the 500 greatest albums. We're working our way down. A lot of big guests on it. You go to the500podcast.com on all social media. I am on the road. I'll be at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles December 15th and the 16th. I'll be in La Jolla Comedy Store December 20th through the 22nd. And then I'll be closing out the year at the Minnesota House of Comedy. Go to Punchup Live. Josh Adam for all tickets. Yeah, man.

[Zach]

Very cool. What's going on, Zaheed? What are you plugging, my friend?

[Josh]

Me and Napoleon Emile have a new weekly show Every Tuesday at 7pm @ Williamsburg Comedy Club. So come out to that. And if you guys ever want to do the show, that'd be great. And then next Thursday, I'll be headlining Hilarities at Cleveland, Ohio. And then I'll be featuring for Sean Patton all weekend. So come out to that.

[Zach]

Very cool Zach Kimiko.

[Zaheed]

Hey, if you're listening live, I'm going on the road with Juggalo Championship Wrestling. This Wednesday night, I'll be in Little Rock, Arkansas. And Thursday night, we're going to be in St. Louis, we doing commentary. Come hang out.

[Zach]

Very cool. Come see me on the road, guys. I took a little bit of a break for the holiday, but I'm gonna finish out this year nice and strong. The regs on December 11th at the Gramercy Theater. Myself, Dan Soder, Robert Kelly and Joe List doing standup and a live special Yankee Swap podcast with these special guests, Santa Claus. Then I'm headlining the Dojo of Comedy on December 12th. EMAS Theater, EMS, Pennsylvania on December 13th. Creek and Cave, Austin, Texas December 20th through 22nd. And then I have a brand new tour, the Bring Five Friends Tour coming to a city near you. January is already filling up. We got Zanies in Rosemont, Illinois, North Charleston, South Carolina, Naples, Florida. I believe believe Montreal's happening. I think I'm going to Ohio in January. January is really filling up right now and I am announcing all of the, or I should say most of the other dates this week. Ticket links are going to be going up so keep on checking back. Lewis of skanks.com going to a bunch of places for the first time. Returning to a bunch of places. Culminating in the recording of my next hour long special on July 12th in Tampa, Florida. I believe those tickets went on sale this morning. If you guys are watching this on YouTube or iTunes, you'll be able to get them without a doubt by the time this comes out then. But it's a side splitters Tampa doing my special from one of the best comedy clubs in the country. If you guys haven't been there, go check it out and fly in. Party with me the whole weekend. We're doing warm up sets on Thursday, Friday and then I'm filming two shows on Saturday. Zach Amiko is going to be coming out for the whole weekend and partying. So yeah, grab those tickets and make sure you guys subscribe to gas digital. Gas digital.com if you're watching this on YouTube you should know that we have an uncensored version of the show and ad free version of the show and we do a bonus episode every Friday just for subscribers. There's three episodes per week. You get the only for subscribers. For the third one go to gasdigital.com use the promo code LAZ get yourself save 150amonth on your membership. So go do that now and support the show the best way you can support us. Check out the rags, check out Story wars and of course the legendary Legion of Skanks.

[Lewis]

Dude Tam Tampa, what a great place. Besides was such a great club.

[Zach]

That's one of the best Clubs in the country. Yeah.

[Lewis]

Really?

[Zach]

Everyone agrees you, if you ask any comic, they'll tell you. And just that audience down there is incredible. Every time, every time I perform in Tampa, it just feels right. We did the carnival combat down there. That was awesome. I really like the town and just wanted to do something different. I've done two of them in New York. At this point I figured it. Why not BT it starts at the.

[Lewis]

Top and BT the owner is such a good dude, everybody. Yeah. So it's great club, very cool.

[Zach]

So, yeah, we'll see what the is up. Okay, let's see what do we got here? I may be disabled, but I still enjoy sex and flaunt my body online. What is this, Shannon? This is a crazy, crazy thing.

[Shannon]

So this lady has like a very rare muscular issue where everything just kind of like deteriorates over time. But she created an only fan. She has an Instagram page which. I'll show you her Instagram. Oh, wait, wrong one. One second. I'll show you her Instagram page. She has over 200,000 followers. This is her. She goes as Wheelchair Rapunzel.

[Lewis]

Oh, she got Spina bifida.

[Josh]

That's her stripper name.

[Zaheed]

Yeah, she's on only ramps.

[Shannon]

And then I also, I could just show you like the front page of her only fans. So she does like, you have to.

[Josh]

Pay for the back page page.

[Lewis]

It's free.

[Zach]

It's free, Shannon.

[Lewis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Zach]

Well, to see all the nasty, you gotta pay. There's no way she's giving away the fun.

[Lewis]

I'll chip in ten bucks right now for to get a good video up there blurred out on YouTube.

[Zach]

You ever hook up with a chick in a wheelchair?

[Lewis]

No.

[Josh]

No. My apartment doesn't have parking.

[Zaheed]

Nope.

[Lewis]

Have you, I hope. Yeah. You have a bit about that or something, right? Like.

[Zach]

No, no, but I. I have. Back in the day, I. I hooked up with a girl who used to come to Stand Up New York all the time. And then I. I went back with her and her friend to her place. I was trying to set up a threesome.

[Lewis]

Wait, were they both disabled?

[Zach]

No, one was disabled. The other. The other girl was hot.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zach]

In fact, the girl in the wheelchair was kind of hot. You know what I'm saying? Like for you. With a wheelchair? Yeah.

[Lewis]

She was a Steve Hawkins. Yeah.

[Josh]

Was this the Olympics?

[Zach]

That's nuts. And yeah, no, we. We ended up around then. I remember when we were going back to her place, she was like, hey, like, you know, if we'd like do this, can you make sure you Give both of us equal attention. And I was like, oh, I felt like so bad. So then we were hooking up. Like I started like really paying attention to the girl. Wheelchair over.

[Lewis]

I thought you.

[Zach]

No, no. I started really focusing on the girl with the wheelchair and I was like, I was ignoring the other girl like a lot. And then the wheelchair girl was like, hey, I thought I told you to pay attention to both of us. I was like, oh, you cocky. You thought I was going to ignore her. So yeah, that was my only time.

[Zaheed]

That would suck. And you're eating the other girl's and then you just hear beep, beep, beep.

[Josh]

Wait, what was the reason she was in the wheelchair?

[Zach]

It was like a lifelong. Like cuz she had like little legs. Yeah, she had like no muscle tone ever.

[Josh]

Peruvian.

[Zach]

Yeah. Little short legs. Let's see. Yeah, but whatever. That's hot enough for toy tonight for this chick in the wheelchair. Pretty toy.

[Zaheed]

Bring her back up.

[Josh]

Yeah. What was it?

[Lewis]

Yeah, get. Can we type. Put her name in and type in xxx or go to like go to her pillow.

[Zaheed]

Can we see her in motion? Because I feel like she's got no middle.

[Unknown]

Lamba pouches.

[Zach]

Oh, she cooks too.

[Josh]

What did she put on that salad? That Windex.

[Zaheed]

That's why she's in the chair.

[Lewis]

This is her. That's not her hand.

[Josh]

That's not how you hold a knife. That was a crazy way to hold a knife.

[Zach]

That was. Is this all her or is it somebody else?

[Shannon]

This is her. Do you want to click on a different one?

[Josh]

This is the companionship you were looking for, Louis.

[Zach]

This is honestly. She. What?

[Josh]

She wanted marinade and make sure that is barely.

[Zach]

That wasn't her hands. That hand's all up. Those other.

[Lewis]

That's what I'm saying.

[Zach]

Shannon, go back. Rewind. Timeout.

[Shannon]

I gotta start it again.

[Zach]

Those were not her hands.

[Lewis]

She.

[Zach]

In fact, she's got a tattoo on her wrist.

[Shannon]

Yeah, maybe it's her right. Maybe her right hand is good, the left one's bad.

[Josh]

What the hell?

[Lewis]

Did she maybe. Yeah, cuz this is all right handed.

[Zach]

Well, no, I did. There's a tattoo. No, no, no, look.

[Josh]

Who holds a knife like that with the finger out? That's crazy.

[Lewis]

I do. Yeah.

[Zach]

No, you. You.

[Lewis]

You put it on the top of the knife. So wrong.

[Josh]

What if she used her whole wrist?

[Zach]

She deserves love too.

[Lewis]

Those are like her leg bones. She has like the arrival legs. Do you guys remember that? Like, he's like. I know. You guys are aliens.

[Shannon]

The hand tattoos were not in the Cutting part.

[Josh]

They were.

[Zach]

No, they were. I saw them. Shannon.

[Shannon]

Not the hand. Her hands weren't tattooed in that. It was just her wrist.

[Lewis]

I like the one right there with the 3,406 and 722 comments. Jesus.

[Zach]

She's cute enough, though.

[Lewis]

Hey, she got a Shannon.

[Zach]

How does make you feel knowing that she probably gets laid more than you?

[Shannon]

She 100% does. Cuz she has kids. So she's doing.

[Zach]

She has kids.

[Josh]

She had a kid in one of those.

[Zach]

Oh, that's why her body's all up. It has nothing to do with the wheelchair.

[Lewis]

What is she saying right here? She's like, you got to take life slow one ramp at a time. When she has no feet. Well, what is she doing going to Lululemon?

[Shannon]

She has feet hanging there.

[Zach]

When life hands you Lululemons, make Lululemonade. That's what I say, folks. Come on, folks. Come on, folks.

[Josh]

I like it.

[Zach]

All right.

[Josh]

I don't feel. I. I feel normally I'd be like, ah. But it's on only fans. It's like she wants us out there.

[Lewis]

Get your money, dude. Yeah, get your money.

[Zach]

No, I'm not hating on her. She, you know, she knows what the. Up, she doggy. Let me tell you something.

[Zaheed]

We just on a high shelf.

[Zach]

We got her probably a dozen only fan subscribers just by featuring her on the show. She owes me money. How about that?

[Josh]

There you go.

[Zach]

Yeah, there you go. All right, we're done. We're wrapping it up. You guys are the. Thank you for watching. Yeah. Lewis and Zach show. Another great episode in the books. We'll be back on Wednesday. Zach's out Wednesday, unfortunately, but we'll. Who Shannon, who's filling in for Zach? Do we know yet?

[Shannon]

I don't know yet.

[Zach]

Okay, I'll be right. We'll have a good show. You guys in the. Thanks for watching. Oh, yeah, look, they're putting the nudes of her in the racist live chat right now.

[Zaheed]

And they are not.

[Lewis]

Pull one up.

[Zach]

Looks like Karen fans. Titty.

[Lewis]

Wait.

[Josh]

Oh, okay.

[Lewis]

Oh, it's not.

[Zach]

It's not terrible. It's not terrible.

[Lewis]

Notorious.

[Zach]

All right, we're Audi. Good night.