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Zach Amico
Hi, Zoe Saldana.
Naim Ali
Welcome to T Mobile.
Zach Amico
Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us. Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in. You don't need to trade in. When you switch to T Mobile, we'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro. Plus we'll help you pay off your old phone. Up to 800 bucks and you still.
Zia Anderson
Get to keep it.
Zach Amico
There's always a trade in. Not right now.
Zia Anderson
At T Mobile.
Zach Amico
I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma.
Zia Anderson
That's okay.
Zach Amico
I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer. It's lavender.
Naim Ali
I'm good. Seriously.
Zach Amico
Let me check this pocket.
Naim Ali
Oh, mints.
Zach Amico
Really, I'm fine. Oh, I have raisins.
Naim Ali
I'm a mom.
Zach Amico
Wait, wait one sec.
Naim Ali
I've got cupcakes in the car.
Zia Anderson
It's our best iPhone offer ever. Switch to T Mobile.
Naim Ali
Get a new iPhone 16 Pro with.
Zia Anderson
Apple intelligence on us, no trade in needed. We'll even pay off your Phone up.
Naim Ali
To 800 bucks with 24 monthly bill credits. New line, 100 plus a month on experience beyond Finance Agreement 999.99 and qualifying ported for well qualified.
Shannon
Plus tax and $10 connection charge.
Naim Ali
Payout via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel c mobile.com.
Zia Anderson
Fill her up.
Naim Ali
You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zack Amo's got a show. Animals are here to play jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee, join the crew It's a Miko morning too.
Zia Anderson
Hello, It's a Wednesday here on the Gas Digital Network. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zak Amico. Sorry we're starting late. My sincere apologies. It has nothing to do with our other guests. Donald. Jesus Christ.
Zach Amico
Damn it, Donald.
Zia Anderson
Jesus. Motherfucker. Okay, well, across the table from me from the new show premiering here on Gas Digital on the 6th. True dad, half the show is here, half the show is arriving. But across the table from me is Z. Anderson. How are you doing, baby?
Zach Amico
I'm good. I'm good. How are you?
Zia Anderson
I'm great. Welcome to the horror of doing a show with someone who's perpetually late. It will age you. It will drive you crazy.
Zach Amico
Even from experience.
Zia Anderson
You will sit on a couch for hours of your life, staring into the abyss, questioning who you are and if anyone respects you and if anyone thinks you're worth their time at all. And. Wow, that lady's got a big pecker in the chat.
Zach Amico
Oh, damn.
Zia Anderson
Very, very nice. If you want to. Hey, bring that up, Jorge. I want to show. Is that real? God damn.
Zach Amico
I. I've spent some time on this site called Red Gifts. I don't know if you've ever heard of it.
Zia Anderson
I have not.
Zach Amico
There are a lot of ladies with peckers. Oh, wow. That's a big one.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, that's a. Holy crap. Wow. I don't know if that. If that. Maybe it's the perspective. Maybe her hips are closer.
Zach Amico
That looks like a tall lady.
Zia Anderson
I don't know. It might. It looks like Photoshop. But you know what? Look at those hands.
Zach Amico
Yeah, no, I believe it.
Zia Anderson
Hey, if it is, it is. And God bless her, I. Fuck it. I'd let that fall on the top of my nose.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I was gonna say, where's Jim when you need him? He will love this.
Zia Anderson
You know what? He's a happy man. I don't want to. Hopefully he will be joining us soon.
Zach Amico
Really?
Zia Anderson
We're hoping. We're discussing. But yes, I will say, you know what? The older I get, the more I gotta say I like a little in between.
Zach Amico
Okay, A little.
Zia Anderson
Hey, hey, you know, I mean, you.
Zach Amico
This isn't surprising. You've done a podcast called Bye guys.
Zia Anderson
Yes.
Zach Amico
So, like, the. The fact that you're like, a woman, I feel like that's the best of both worlds, right? Like, that's.
Zia Anderson
Nah, pussy's the best.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Zia Anderson
Come on.
Zach Amico
I don't know. Like, if you get a trans woman with a dick, they've got tits, they've got lady parts, but then they have a really nice penis. Like maybe a.
Zia Anderson
Her hermaphrodite.
Zach Amico
Okay, I still don't know what that is.
Zia Anderson
A hermaphrodite is someone with both sex.
Zach Amico
Organs, so they legitimately have a vagina under the penis. How does that work? Where does the dick go under? On top? On the side? Is it like a half Half?
Zia Anderson
So aren't. Don't they all start as vagina? Don't we all start as women?
Zach Amico
I think so.
Zia Anderson
And then you grow a dick and then your balls become drop.
Zach Amico
They, like, drop.
Zia Anderson
Your ovaries drop and become balls.
Zach Amico
Yeah, it was something like that.
Zia Anderson
This is science with. This is basic science with Zach and Zia, the two dumbest people in the world. How do balls work? So I. Yeah, I think it's Basically where the clit would be, I think is a dick.
Zach Amico
Oh, I've heard of ladies that have like very large. Okay. Hello. So that is a little bit of a. That looks like a lipstick penis.
Zia Anderson
Yeah. Sorry we started late, guys, but now you get what? You get what?
Zach Amico
That's legitimately both. That's both. Oh my God.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So I think too much. That's.
Zia Anderson
I, I've. What's the biggest clip you've seen?
Zach Amico
I don't know. Maybe my own.
Zia Anderson
What are we looking? Give me, give me a. Give me a. Give me a. Okay.
Zach Amico
Like that. It's nice.
Zia Anderson
Little bean. Jelly bean.
Shannon
But it's.
Zach Amico
Yeah, it's like a little jelly bean.
Zia Anderson
Shannon. Clit.
Shannon
Wait, how am I describing the size?
Zia Anderson
Give me, give me something similar. Give me an idea. Thimble jellybean.
Shannon
Maybe like a jelly bean on the side.
Zach Amico
Okay. Like a sideways jelly bean.
Zia Anderson
Okay, that's fair.
Shannon
Just as far as the height.
Zia Anderson
Oh, okay.
Shannon
Yeah. Not the width.
Zia Anderson
All right. Wow. Okay. I. The. I was with a gal that had quite the clitoral honor and she would talk about it a lot.
Zach Amico
Did she like it when you sucked on it?
Zia Anderson
Yes, she did.
Zach Amico
She was quite the fan. I believe that.
Zia Anderson
And she, she would frequently use the word swollen.
Shannon
Oh.
Zia Anderson
To describe her hard clit.
Zach Amico
It gets hard. It got hard.
Zia Anderson
I would go as far to say engorged.
Zach Amico
Did she? Okay, I just found out about this. There's so many things to learn on the Internet.
Zia Anderson
Go ahead.
Zach Amico
A clip pump.
Naim Ali
Uh huh.
Zia Anderson
I did not know about that. But please look it up.
Zach Amico
So apparently you add. It's just the thing that you put on your clit and then you kind of like a penis pump, I think.
Zia Anderson
Like a Swedish penis.
Zach Amico
Like a Swedish penis enlarger.
Zia Anderson
That's from the movie Austin Powers, by the way, starring a man named Mike Myers. If you didn't know who that is, inside joke on the show.
Zach Amico
I would be really sad if no one knew that.
Zia Anderson
Wouldn't it be sad?
Zach Amico
I would be so sad if you.
Zia Anderson
Met someone that didn't know who Mike Myers was. You'd be like, you dumb cunt. Right, Right.
Zach Amico
Shannon, we cannot be friends.
Zia Anderson
Absolutely.
Shannon
Agreed.
Zach Amico
Did Shannon never heard. Was it Shannon that never heard of him?
Shannon
How dare you, Zia.
Zach Amico
Shannon.
Zia Anderson
No, it was not.
Zach Amico
It was not Shannon.
Zia Anderson
It was not Shannon whatsoever. In fact, I would call it an anti Shannon.
Zach Amico
Oh no.
Zia Anderson
I do want to see a clip pump. Now. Apparently they also sounds like a Jersey dance. We go clip pumping tonight. That's what lesbians do in Jersey.
Zach Amico
They just go like this.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, they Clip. Pump. At the club. Okay.
Zach Amico
So, yeah, apparently, it makes your orgasm really awesome.
Zia Anderson
Okay. I mean, curious, Shannon, how much are they?
Shannon
Let's see. Oh, that's.
Zach Amico
What is. What is that contraption?
Zia Anderson
That's an air purifier. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's like.
Shannon
I don't know what it is.
Zia Anderson
That's like a game of Mousetrap.
Zach Amico
What the. That looks like a meat grinder.
Zia Anderson
That should have the fact. You know, like the factory music, the. Holy.
Zach Amico
I don't think I want that anywhere near my. What the fuck?
Shannon
I think this is something else. I put the word by accident.
Zia Anderson
Yeah. That's a centrifuge. That's a centrifuge.
Zach Amico
Yeah. That's not.
Zia Anderson
That's a giant piece of machinery in that. It's not gonna go good.
Zach Amico
It's not gonna be a pussy for long.
Zia Anderson
Maybe it's a go down. Those are shoes. That's the way you get pussy. That's a toilet. That's who you're getting it for.
Shannon
Actually, I saw one. I saw one on Amazon. Here.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, go on Amazon.
Shannon
There you go. 20 bucks.
Zach Amico
20 bucks.
Zia Anderson
That's not bad, Shannon. Get it.
Zach Amico
Does that also have nipple pumps?
Zia Anderson
I guess you could probably use it for that, too, right?
Shannon
Yeah, two. Two different attachments.
Zia Anderson
Oh, get it right now. Get it right now. We'll pump my. Jorge, Will you pump my nipples on the show? I would want nothing less. Thank you. Oh, we're definitely. Yeah. Yeah, we're getting it. Yeah, we're gonna. Shannon, you don't have to be the person. We will find someone to test it.
Zach Amico
I was going to say you could probably talk to Lainey and she would get someone in here that would be willing to try that out.
Zia Anderson
I could also just go out on the street and waive $20.
Zach Amico
That's true. But see, what the thing with that, though, is, what are you going to get?
Zia Anderson
The thing with Lany is, what are you going to get? Have you seen the Goblin? She walks drunkenly down the stairs to get in here.
Zach Amico
It's been a little while, no? Is it not good anymore? What happens?
Zia Anderson
I don't know, man. It's just like. I have Craigslist, too. Lainey, what the fuck's. The fuck you're ja. I shouldn't see the ad. You should have a roster. It shouldn't just be. Put it up on fucking.
Zach Amico
They fucked up. They got rid of back pages. I feel like that's where the quality was.
Zia Anderson
Well, back page had adult services.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And now everything's on Craigslist. Under like personals or whatever. No, but we're also like adult gigs or something.
Zach Amico
Oh, adult gigs. What a way to.
Zia Anderson
Or yeah, it's like they got rid of whatever categories you could use to fudge gather up horse for a podcast.
Zach Amico
Honestly, you know what's so funny? When we were doing Chip, at one point, we were trying to come up with like funny bits and we wanted to do a hemorrhoid competition where Chip would, you know, judge the best hemorrhoid. And so I was trying to think of how would we get women to come on who had hemorrhoids. Like, that's kind of a hard sell. And so I put it up on Craigslist thinking maybe it'll be up for a little while. I think it was like 20 minutes later I got an email saying that they took my post down and I was like, well, where the am I supposed to find someone with hemorrhoids? And that didn't seem super sexual to me either. So I don't that.
Zia Anderson
That might be more of a fan base based question.
Zach Amico
Yeah, but how many fan women are like, yeah, you can stop there. Good point.
Zia Anderson
I one time was I had a cast a movie and there was a part in the movie for a kid. But I wanted to be very open that it was an R rated movie. So I put in the ad. Hey, this is an R rated film. Your kid won't be on set for any of the R rated parts. But you know, there are sex scenes in the movie. So I just want you to be aware of that before any responsible. Before responding. Dude, I got a call.
Naim Ali
Hey, guys.
Zia Anderson
Hey, buddy, look who's joining us. Hey. Hey, pal. How are you?
Naim Ali
Beautiful, beautiful.
Zach Amico
Hey, Z, you made it.
Zia Anderson
Hey, you're looking fucking. You're looking fucking shredded, buddy.
Naim Ali
Oh, thanks.
Zia Anderson
You look good.
Naim Ali
You look like, you know, you look.
Zia Anderson
Like scary Tiger Woods.
Naim Ali
Oh, yes, that's what I'm going for.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, there you go.
Naim Ali
I wouldn't be able to bag white women, but still look a little dangerous. You see what I'm saying?
Zia Anderson
Yeah, well, I mean, that goes hand in hand.
Naim Ali
Yeah, true, right?
Zia Anderson
Let me say. Tells you. I was telling her I got a call from NY casting saying, hi, we see here you posted an ad for child sex scenes and we need to report you to the police.
Zach Amico
Oh my God.
Zia Anderson
And I had to go read the ad, read the ad, read the ad.
Zach Amico
Who reported that and was like, what the fuck? Because you know, someone did.
Zia Anderson
It's like, oh, great, now I'm on this list twice. All right, well, naim Ali has joined us from the upcoming podcast True Dat.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
Which is coming out on the 6th here on gas Digital. I'm so glad you're here, buddy. I apologize. We started, we had to get the show moving.
Naim Ali
No, I get.
Zia Anderson
Thank you so much.
Naim Ali
What do you apologize for? I'm late as shit, you know? Yo, all right, this is the thing, right?
Zia Anderson
I mean, you had time to get a red drink.
Naim Ali
I did. I had time to get a red drink, you mean. But this is the thing.
Zia Anderson
Yo, he's a court low.
Naim Ali
Y' all know I'm late. Y' all know I'm a late guy. Y' all gotta start giving me the wrong time. My whole family gives me an hour ahead. They say, yo, you gotta be here at 11. I don't really gotta be there till 12.
Shannon
Hey, Naim, why don't you give yourself the wrong time when you book something?
Naim Ali
Shannon, how much? I'm not that responsible and you know that.
Zia Anderson
The real mental frustration in Shannon's voice.
Naim Ali
Yes, that's real frustration. Shannon almost socked me when I came in. She almost punched me in the face when I came in.
Zia Anderson
Between years of Lewis then figs. Shannon is just fucking done. Shannon is a beaten down old dog.
Zach Amico
Shannon, share your podcast idea. I think it's genius.
Shannon
It's podcast called why were you late? And it's all the habitually late people and they explain why and how it.
Zach Amico
Happens all the time. That's such a good idea.
Naim Ali
That's a great idea. All right. I got a good reason. Now I'm late.
Shannon
Okay.
Naim Ali
And I can show you.
Shannon
Okay.
Naim Ali
You want to see it?
Zia Anderson
Yeah, please. I, I 100, though.
Naim Ali
This is, this is actually, I was late. My lawyer called me.
Zia Anderson
He.
Naim Ali
I had a settlement like not too long ago, and my lawyer called me, and I had referred somebody else to him. So now he's taking a case. Right?
Zia Anderson
Okay.
Naim Ali
So he called me, he said, yo, he said, come. You come to my office real quick. I'm like, well, no, I'm about to hit him. New York, what you got for me? He like, I got some money for you. Came out, just gave me like 500. Look at this.
Zach Amico
He just gave you cash?
Naim Ali
Gave me cash. He said, huh, bro? He said, thanks for hooking me up.
Zach Amico
I said, oh, wait, he has a $500 referral fee.
Naim Ali
Referral fee? Yeah.
Zach Amico
What?
Naim Ali
And he gave me 500 bucks.
Zia Anderson
All right, you know what?
Naim Ali
I had to stop to get the 500 bucks I had.
Zia Anderson
As much as I want to be mad at you about that, no, I'm.
Naim Ali
Not I need bro and this especially to come up here. I got to pay for parking and shit.
Zia Anderson
I totally get it.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
I'm not mad at you whatsoever. If I was on the way somewhere and somebody was like, hey, I need to give you $500, I probably would make a stop.
Naim Ali
And I was literally two exits away from the Center City exit. So I was like, just get off here. Go get the money. But then, you know how that goes. He started talking to me, showing me pictures of his dog.
Zach Amico
Oh, he's one of those.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Naim Ali
I showed him pictures of my dog and just, you know.
Zach Amico
Oh, no.
Zia Anderson
Which one of your friends was it? You almost wasted Red Drake, bro.
Naim Ali
Why you do that?
Zia Anderson
Hey, Zach, that was funny, dude. I got. Who was. Oh, this is right when I first started hanging out with Naim. We were in an argument in the lobby and I was arguing. We. We had watched Blacula with Monroe Martin and I made a joke that's like, do you think Blacula drinks blood? Cause it's red. And he didn't get it or he pretended not to get it. And then we were in the lobby having a conversation and I said, well, it's a stereotype. Black people like red drinks. And Monroe's like, I've never heard of that, Zach, you made that up. And Naeem comes with a red drink.
Naim Ali
Walk right in, walk right in.
Zia Anderson
And Naim, in his very colorful way, just. He said, blanks love red drinks. And he goes, monroe, stop acting all sophisticated.
Naim Ali
Me and Monroe from the same hood. We went to the same high school. He used to be a wild nigga. Monroe used to like. Cause he was like a group home kid, so he used to like. He was wild.
Zia Anderson
Yeah. And he's huge.
Naim Ali
And he's huge, so. But when I started doing comedy, I didn't even know that he did comedy. And then one day I came up here and I saw him at his show and he had glasses on and he was speaking like proper English and stuff like, what the fuck is happening here? Like, what did this happen? What did this transition happen?
Zach Amico
Did he start dating a white woman?
Naim Ali
I think so. Yeah, I think so.
Zach Amico
I have a sneaking suspicion you gotta get outed.
Naim Ali
Yeah, that'll clean you up.
Zia Anderson
Somewhere in the sunken place, the real Monroe's like, I love red drink.
Shannon
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Zach Amico
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Zach Amico
See, that's a stereotype I actually haven't heard. I'm still learning all kinds of the red drink. Yeah, I didn't know that.
Naim Ali
Well, that's because you're Hawaiian. Yeah, I don't think. I don't think all the racism makes it there.
Zach Amico
No, no. There aren't a lot of black people there. I knew four and two of them were brothers. And so that's not like that type of racism didn't make it out there. I don't think it's racism.
Zia Anderson
It's just.
Naim Ali
No, that's a stereotype. That's. Yes. Yo. Most stereotypes are true.
Zach Amico
It's true.
Zia Anderson
They all. I think they all start from somewhere, right?
Naim Ali
Yes, they all start from somewhere. Most of the is true. The watermelon that comes from black people being watermelon farmers because it was the easiest thing to grow.
Zach Amico
Oh.
Naim Ali
So and if you couldn't get a job, you're going to sell. You're going to grow watermelon and sell it and then also eat it. You see what I'm saying?
Zach Amico
Yeah, that makes sense. What about the fried chicken one? Where'd that come from?
Naim Ali
That's because fried chicken, again, it's a cheap meal. So during slavery, like plantation owners, slave masters and shit would give the spare parts of chicken and shit like that.
Zach Amico
How do you make something taste good?
Naim Ali
You fry it, put it in some grease, put some flour on it. Boom.
Zia Anderson
That's the same with. Why the stereotype white people don't be seasoning their food?
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
It's. Cause white people were richer in some cultures and had access to higher cuts of meat, so they didn't need a.
Naim Ali
Million to be drowned in salt.
Zach Amico
Where did the mayonnaise one come from? What the fuck is it with white people in mayonnaise?
Naim Ali
Yeah, I don't know.
Zia Anderson
I don't know that one. I mean, it's true.
Zach Amico
It's true.
Naim Ali
Yeah. We won't get down. We won't fuck with mayonnaise.
Zia Anderson
I learned that from Undercover Brother. My favorite part of Undercover Brother is he's got. Cause he's Got like, all the James Bond gadgets, and one is just a watch with hot sauce in it.
Zach Amico
Yeah, that would actually be nifty.
Naim Ali
That is. Sometimes you need hot sauce.
Zach Amico
Yeah, you need hot sauce a lot of the time. It makes everything better.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
I'm my favorite. You seem. You seem Pooty Tang, right?
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
Dude, I think maybe the biggest laugh I've ever had in a movie theater is Pooty Tang when he says, my father died in an accident.
Naim Ali
Oh, the.
Zia Anderson
You know I'm talking about.
Zach Amico
It's been so long.
Zia Anderson
It's Chris Rock plays his dad. It's the most Louis CK Joke in it.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
Because Louis directed it.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Yeah.
Naim Ali
I was so surprised when I found that out. I'm like, what the fuck?
Zia Anderson
And he goes, my father died in accident at the factory. And then it's just Chris Rock run at a factory and a gorilla beats him to death. It's so funny because it just catches you off guard.
Naim Ali
You're like, what the.
Zia Anderson
Did you wait for the accident? And then just a gorilla beats another factory accident. And we got a lot of fun to talk about, but let's get plugs out of the way first. Naim Zia, let's hear about your new show. And let's hear some dates, guys. Go ahead.
Zach Amico
It's coming out on the 6th.
Naim Ali
Yes, the 6th.
Zach Amico
The 6th. It's right after Legion of Skanks. Right. So it comes out at 10pm make sure that I have that right. 10pm on gas digital network. I'm so excited about this.
Naim Ali
Thanks.
Zach Amico
This has been so fun.
Naim Ali
We've been having so much fun just doing it. So much fun.
Zach Amico
Also, I feel like this is gonna be really bad for my anxiety because I am now researching serial killer nurses who are, you know, worked in all these different hospitals, like, all this crazy shit. And. And it just makes me look at everyone differently now.
Naim Ali
For sure. Yeah.
Zach Amico
But it's gonna be awesome.
Naim Ali
It's a great show. If you like True Crime, check us out. Even if you don't like True Crime, check us out. We're warning you of potential dangers.
Zach Amico
Yeah, exactly.
Naim Ali
There are scary people outside everywhere. Check out True Dad.
Zia Anderson
Okay. And you want to plug some dates?
Naim Ali
Yeah. When does this come out?
Zia Anderson
Today.
Naim Ali
Today?
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Yo. All right, Tomorrow I'm gonna be in Austin at the creek in the cave. Duragin A dare. Tag and friends. It's gonna be special guests. I can't tell you who. You gotta show up and you'll see I'm gonna be at the stand tonight. I don't know if this will be out before then, check my Instagram for the rest of my dates. Naim2ali. I'm gonna be everywhere this summer. Oh, I'm gonna be in LA September 4th and soldiers July 12th. Soldiers July 12th. I need everybody to buy tickets to that because that pays so much money for a sellout. Please.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, it really is.
Naim Ali
Please. I need a new car.
Zia Anderson
It sounds so dumb, but it'll change your summer.
Naim Ali
It'll change yourself. Yo, if I sell out, that Soldiers.
Zia Anderson
Is pretty good, bruh.
Naim Ali
That's gonna change my entire summer. So please, guys, this is how good.
Zia Anderson
Soul Trolls is just for people listening. The first time I headline Soldiers, they had a little green room for me with my name on it and a picture of me. And I was like, oh, wow, that's nice. And I walked in and there was a bottle of Jaeger, a bag of Sour Patch Kids and hot sauce.
Naim Ali
Yes. See?
Zia Anderson
And he was just like. I heard these are all the things you like.
Zach Amico
Yes, those are all great things.
Zia Anderson
It was great. Did you want to plug your other endeavors?
Zach Amico
I got only fans and I got YouTube. Both of those things are Zealand X I A L A N. I got a new machine for only fans that I'll be releasing somewhat soon. It's fucking intense. I went up to level 36, but apparently it goes to 100, so that's gonna be fun.
Zia Anderson
Okay.
Zach Amico
And then, yeah, YouTube. I stream three nights a week on YouTube. I eat food, I create weird things. I talk about nonsense. It's a good time.
Zia Anderson
Shannon, how much do you think it would be to get a Sybian? Let's go old school. But only guys. Only guys. We have to sit on the Civian while we do.
Naim Ali
Did that even do anything for Gus?
Zach Amico
I don't know.
Naim Ali
It just vibrate, don't it?
Zia Anderson
I bet. I bet if it hits your fucking gland.
Zach Amico
Yeah, true.
Naim Ali
Maybe.
Zach Amico
So I had a. I've. Well, I've known a lot of gay guys, but they keep telling me over and over again that straight guys are missing out.
Naim Ali
Really?
Zach Amico
Yeah. Because if you go up there, there's. What's it called that you hit?
Zia Anderson
Prostate.
Zach Amico
The prostate. Yeah. You hit the prostate. And apparently it's just like the most amazing thing ever.
Naim Ali
I can't.
Zia Anderson
It's a release button.
Naim Ali
My. My. Every time I take a shit, my eyes water. So I can't imagine. Every time I get to taking a.
Zach Amico
Shit, I'm like, what are you eating?
Naim Ali
I don't know.
Zach Amico
Yo, fiber. Fiber.
Shannon
It's about twelve hundred dollars.
Zia Anderson
That's because you think you're giving birth.
Shannon
It's about $1,200, Zach. What about $1,200?
Zia Anderson
Fuck that. Just get the clit sucker. If you love the show, and we know you do, go to gas digital.com today. The new Gas Digital. Use the promo code zoo. And what do you get? You get a $50 off a month from your subscription. You get episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the archives of all the great shows on Gas Digital, including the former Real Ass Podcast, Lewis and Zach Show, Legion of Skanks, Zach Amigos, Midnight Spook show, and all this fun shit. And you get to go into the live chat and if you tell me on the road you subscribe with either of my promo codes, I'll kiss you on the mouth. All right.
Zach Amico
I mean, if you're not going to do it for any other reason but that one. Right.
Zia Anderson
All right, so we got some fun stuff to go over today. Love Island USA fans fuming over contestant dropping N word.
Zach Amico
Okay, what the hell is Love Island? I've heard people talk about it. What is it?
Zia Anderson
Shannon Channel? Explain it better than me.
Shannon
I would be happy to. It's a reality TV show. It's like all of the hottest people in their early twenties in the whole wide world. They live over the course of the summer, like a few months on this, like, little resort, and then they basically just kind of all each other.
Zach Amico
Oh, okay.
Shannon
So I'm going to show you a clip. It's. I couldn't find a not bleeped version, but you'll know when I can fill it in. Yeah.
Naim Ali
I'll do the. I'll do the heavy lifting.
Shannon
Also, I just want to preface this by saying the girl is Cuban and from Miami.
Zia Anderson
Okay.
Zach Amico
Oh, I mean, does that make it okay?
Shannon
Oh, let's go back.
Zach Amico
I missed it.
Zia Anderson
Are you that.
Zach Amico
That controls what she wears or.
Naim Ali
Right.
Zach Amico
You my perfect. But that's it. Like, now I'm my. He's mine. Like, bye.
Zia Anderson
Come on.
Naim Ali
Like, listen, there's no problem with that. And first of all, she's Hispanic. Where I'm from in Philly, if you Hispanic, you say. You can say nigga and don't nobody look at you twice. It's fine.
Zia Anderson
I think.
Naim Ali
And she's using it to mean, man, she's not using it racially.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, she's not.
Naim Ali
That's how I use it. I'll be like, yo, I'm about to go hang with my nigga Zach. That means, man, that don't mean a black person.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, I think interpretation wise, that is above board for me. I say Spanish gets it. I think most Arabs get it.
Naim Ali
Yes. Yeah, Arabs get it.
Zia Anderson
Arabs get it. And Koreans get it for one year of their life when they smoke weed for the first time.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
Koreans and Filipinos get it for one year, and it's when they. Every Filipino or Korean teenager, they smoke weed when they're 16, and then they think they're black for about a year.
Naim Ali
Yes. They listen to rap music.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Naim Ali
I went to high school with some of those guys.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, I think you got it.
Naim Ali
And they're. Okay. They say it and we're like, whatever, bro.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, we're not going to. We're not going to make a thing about it. Yeah, it's not great.
Naim Ali
Yeah, it's not great.
Zia Anderson
Don't celebrate it.
Naim Ali
Yeah, but you can get away with it. We won't. We won't say anything you say. Also white people from Kensington, you can say it. That's the worst place on earth if you're from Kensington, Philadelphia, and you underneath them train tracks doing doping, smoking crack. Say, bruh, you doing way worse things already. Fuck it.
Zia Anderson
You know? Yeah. If you're gonna be grandfathered in.
Naim Ali
Yeah, fuck it. Fuck it.
Zia Anderson
Did you see that? There's a clip of a guy talking about Roast Battle. I was rap battling Eminem, and he's like, eminem called me the N word.
Naim Ali
Yes, I saw that.
Zia Anderson
And he goes. And then got away with it because of how good the rhymes were.
Naim Ali
Yeah, I saw there's.
Zia Anderson
You took my facial tissue. Turned into a racial issue. God damn, that's good.
Naim Ali
Yo. That is for sure a pass if it's a hot bar. I don't matter what race you are.
Zia Anderson
Because I remember they tried to get Eminem years ago for saying. Having an old demo where he had a thing about, like, how black don't trust black women.
Naim Ali
Yes. Yeah. Mm.
Zia Anderson
But that's when he, like, straight up used to wear, like, the Eminem clothes. Like, Eminem's on his clothes and shit.
Naim Ali
Yeah, yeah.
Zia Anderson
He still finded himself.
Naim Ali
Yeah, he was. I mean, and also. What? He grew up in a fucking trailer park. What do you want? What do you expect from this guy?
Zia Anderson
Yeah, it's probably how he talks. So I think. So this chick got fired from Love Island.
Shannon
No, no. So wait, I have a couple of things.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, please.
Naim Ali
So that Shannon. Do you say nigga sometimes?
Shannon
No, I do not.
Naim Ali
Damn. Can you say it right now?
Zia Anderson
She said it a few times between 12 and 1240.
Naim Ali
Where the is this?
Shannon
Okay, so first, the Eminem thing. Apparently they re released One of the videos, and it says he did not call that person the N word. So I could play you that little clip.
Zia Anderson
Sure.
Naim Ali
Oh, okay.
Zia Anderson
Oh, wow.
Naim Ali
Yeah, he didn't.
Zach Amico
He didn't.
Naim Ali
Okay. Yeah, he didn't say it.
Zia Anderson
Wow, look at that.
Naim Ali
All right.
Shannon
Clearing Eminem's name.
Zia Anderson
Thank you.
Naim Ali
Once you start saying that, you can't stop. So I, I didn't.
Zia Anderson
Chips.
Naim Ali
Yeah. Yes. Pringles. Yeah. Can't stop saying it. Okay, I'll try.
Shannon
Back to the shicks.
Zia Anderson
It's like crack. Black people use it the most. Go ahead.
Shannon
So the season just started, so they haven't actually started voting anybody off, but like, Twitter is just full of people saying, like, they're going to try to like, do their best to vote her off. What I feel like people are more angry about than her using the N word is she is a public Trump supporter.
Zia Anderson
Oh, well, that's the real.
Naim Ali
Oh, yeah. That's why they made that. She likes Trump.
Shannon
Yep.
Zach Amico
Yeah, that's nothing to do.
Zia Anderson
Also, by the way, also Cuban.
Naim Ali
Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah. And she's Cuban. Of course. She's a poor strong.
Zia Anderson
Whose joke is that? The second the other foot gets dry, Cubans are white. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Well, what about all the people that are pissed off at. What's his face about? The joke, the Cube. The joke he made about Cuba at the Trump rally.
Zia Anderson
That was Puerto Rico.
Zach Amico
Oh, that was Puerto Rico. Floating island of garbage. Yeah, yeah, that joke.
Zia Anderson
Yeah. I mean, yeah. My, my.
Naim Ali
Y' all gotta stop. White people gotta do that more.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Start putting these Hispanics, Let these niggas know y' all not white. Them Asians, Indians, all these motherfuckers be trying to be white. Y' all not white.
Zia Anderson
I have Cuban family and I had a. I essentially call them my Cuban grandpa and grandma because my aunt married a Cuban guy and they kind of took my family in. My Cuban grandpa, when he filled out surveys, put down Caucasian.
Zach Amico
Oh, that's.
Naim Ali
Oh, of course.
Zia Anderson
You know, I'm not from Spain.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And he, he was very adamant that.
Naim Ali
He was Caucasian and Cuba super racist, I heard. Yeah, super. Like the dark skinned Cubans catch. Hell, yeah. It's like 1960 down there.
Zia Anderson
I did.
Shannon
I know that.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
I threw my Cuban grandparents for a loot when we. This is. This story so old, it was still a landline. So my dad left when I was probably about 13, and whenever my mom wasn't home, I would pick up the phone as a black guy.
Naim Ali
Holy shit.
Zia Anderson
I learned that voice quick.
Naim Ali
Yeah, this is just.
Zia Anderson
Excuse me. Hello?
Naim Ali
Hey, who the Fuck is this?
Zia Anderson
Oh, sorry. Alice ain't home right now. And I would do it. I would do it all the time. And one time, like, he and Grandma Esther called, and I was like, ah, sorry. Alice ain't home right now. But she give you a call back, all right? And, dude, Esther called everybody.
Naim Ali
Oh, shit.
Zia Anderson
Esther went down the phone book that day. I called Alex's house, and who picks up a black guy? A black guy. I think she leave Paul for a black guy.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Esther is also a really white lady name, so.
Zia Anderson
Yeah. But I think it's like Esther's like the way Asians pick a. Oh, yeah.
Naim Ali
They pick a new name when they.
Zia Anderson
And it's always like an old lady name. Yeah, because they were Esther and Emilio. We called them Biggie in Little League.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Naim Ali
I took Mandarin in ninth grade. My teacher name was Henry Lee. And he. For sure his name wasn't Henry.
Zach Amico
Was not Henry.
Naim Ali
No.
Zia Anderson
No, I don't think so.
Zach Amico
It's like when you go get your nails done and they're like, what's your name? And their name.
Zia Anderson
His name was Henry. Hey, guys. Today's show is brought to you by our good friends at Yoo Kratom, home of the $60 kilo. If you do Kratom, if you don't, don't start on my account. If you use Kratom for some of its numerous purposes, there's only one place on earth to be purchasing it from, and that is our great friends@yocratum.com why they have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas. You don't want to be going to smoke shops, bodegas, gas stations, and getting kratom where you don't even know what's inside of it, really. And then they have no answers there because Yokratom.com is in the business of getting you the best quality Kratom. Not only that, 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your door. There's no promo code needed because that's already a great deal in and of itself. One more time, guys. That's yo kratom.com home of the $60 kilo. Hey, let's get back into the program, right? Oh, yeah. So they just take the streets as a Trump supporter or whatever.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
All right, here's a. Here's a fun little. We like to do fun little animal stories here on the show because it's the zoo. Let's look at what happened to this grocery store in Thailand.
Zach Amico
Does it have raccoons?
Zia Anderson
No, I was hungry.
Naim Ali
What the hell?
Shannon
That's a whole elephant. Elephant.
Naim Ali
They hit every syllable so hard. Back out.
Zach Amico
Holy.
Zia Anderson
So apparently he walked in and what in the tweet, Chan? What is. I think he ate six bags of chips.
Shannon
Rice cake.
Zach Amico
Yeah, rice cake.
Naim Ali
Oh, so he just came in there because he was hungry.
Zia Anderson
He walked in, ate six bags of rice. Rice cakes, and then just back then walked out.
Zach Amico
Did he open the rice cakes?
Zia Anderson
I think he just tear them open.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Shannon
Also a sandwich. A sandwich and bananas and nine bags of sweet rice crackers. Yeah. They said he didn't hurt anybody. He did minimal damage. He's fine.
Naim Ali
Yeah, he was hungry.
Zia Anderson
That's hilarious. There's a couple animals that like figure out how convenience stores work.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
Like run in and jack shit and run back out.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
So cute about it.
Zach Amico
Raccoons are one of them.
Naim Ali
Raccoons.
Zach Amico
Raccoons, yeah. They know how to open doors. They figure out where food is. Do you ever see the video of the raccoon trying to rinse his cotton candy?
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Like they got little thumbs. It looks like.
Shannon
Yeah.
Zach Amico
They just hold everything like this. I want a farm of raccoons.
Naim Ali
Yeah. I want raccoons and foxes. Yes.
Zach Amico
They're so cute.
Naim Ali
Fox. This is so cute. I need a pet fox.
Zach Amico
He's just trying to wash his food. He doesn't understand.
Naim Ali
Nope. Disappeared, bruh.
Zach Amico
He's like, where'd it go?
Naim Ali
He's like, what?
Zia Anderson
By the way, I will warn you, fox is adorable. Fox, like dogs. Maybe the worst dog.
Zach Amico
Really? Why?
Zia Anderson
Shiba inus.
Zach Amico
Yeah. They're so cute.
Naim Ali
Yeah, they're cute as hell.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
So cute. Absolute lunatics.
Zach Amico
Really.
Zia Anderson
Like maybe the most. I'm very nice when they're nice. But my dude, my sister in law has one.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And I don't know if hers is like autistic or something. This, like when they order takeout, they literally have to be like, please turn off your headlights as you pull into the driveway. Leave it on the bottom step and then back out quietly.
Naim Ali
What?
Zia Anderson
Because the dog will attack everything in the house when it thinks somebody. What new is there?
Zach Amico
That's too much.
Naim Ali
Yeah, that's way too much. He might be too inbred or something.
Zia Anderson
There's something wrong. They wanted. So my brother in law wanted a dog that looked like a fox.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
So they went to a dude.
Naim Ali
Mm.
Zia Anderson
And then they got him and they were like, fuck. But then they already had him. They wanna.
Naim Ali
Damn.
Zia Anderson
And which I also like, I have. I know people that have like adopted dogs. And given them back. I don't think I could do it. I think I'd be like, I'm stuck with this.
Naim Ali
I did that. I gave a dog back. I. I bought a golden doodle for my daughter. And first one, the guy said it was a mini doodle. So he was like, yo, it's not gonna. It's only gonna get like this. It's gonna be tiny. So I'm like, all right, bet. No, like, six months later, this guy's £70. He's like this tall. Looks like a deer.
Zach Amico
Holy.
Naim Ali
Yeah. And then also, I wasn't training him because I thought he was gonna be a little cute ass dog for my daughter. Like, so we would be eating dinner, he'd just jump up on the table, start eating off of your plate and shit like that. I couldn't control him, so I had to give him back.
Zia Anderson
All right, well, that. I mean, that was false advertisement.
Naim Ali
That was false advertisement. That dog's way too big for my crib. You can't. You can't live with me, bro.
Zach Amico
Do you live in an apartment?
Naim Ali
I live in an apartment.
Zach Amico
See, I hate that. I see people all the time that have big dogs in apartments, and I'm like, that's so fucked up. It's, like, cramped up.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, that's tough on the dog.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
I mean, probably the cage at the pound isn't better, but.
Zach Amico
True. That's true.
Naim Ali
A golden dude is not gonna sit that long. Yeah, it'll be fine. Somebody probably took him with me. Yeah, I actually did the same thing. My ex wife, I had bought her dog for her birthday. This is when we were married. It was a cocker spaniel, and she does not know how to take care of animals at all. And then she sold that dog. I'm like, what the hell, man? How are you just gonna sell it? It's crazy.
Zach Amico
Yeah. See, that's why I don't have any pets. Because I know myself well enough to know if I was gonna have a pet, it would have to be a cat or something like that.
Naim Ali
So they can take care of yourself.
Zach Amico
Yeah, More low maintenance. I don't. I. I know myself well enough to know that. I just. That's not for me. There's a reason I don't have children.
Naim Ali
Yeah. Yeah. Dogs are, like, having kids.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Just like having kids.
Zia Anderson
People turn cats into loan maintenance.
Naim Ali
How the did you think of that? You Adderall? How the you do that?
Zach Amico
This is why Zach was always perfect on Chip. Just the way his brain works. It was just literally perfect.
Zia Anderson
Oh, man. That made me happy. Thank you. All right, hey, let's keep it light. Parasailing, horror. Panicked woman unbuckles midair. Let's see how that goes. She. She was parasailing and got nervous and unbuckled herself.
Zach Amico
Yeah, that's the right.
Zia Anderson
So let's see how that goes for her. Well, the music makes it sound good.
Shannon
Sorry for the music. Let me play it.
Naim Ali
Dang. She a little thick in the hips.
Zia Anderson
Look at her.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Hey, lady, slow down. Don't.
Zia Anderson
All right.
Naim Ali
She's hot. She's a hot lady.
Zach Amico
Naim's like, this isn't even a challenging wank.
Zia Anderson
Let's go. What did she think was gonna happen?
Naim Ali
No. Why she throwing that, bruh? She looks like she's high as hell. And let's use context clues here. The music, her picture beforehand.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Naim Ali
This bitch is dead, isn't she?
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
Oh, this bitch is super dead, Shannon.
Shannon
Yeah, she's very dead.
Naim Ali
What?
Shannon
But they don't. They don't. You know, I guess there's no way to ever really know what happened, but they assume she had an anxiety attack and wasn't paying attention. Her family doesn't think it was a suicide attempt, but they are investigating still. They don't know what happened.
Naim Ali
Wait, anxiety. What? Anxiety attack will make you unbuckle yourself.
Zia Anderson
It might make you be extremely irrational.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Naim Ali
And so I got to get out of here.
Zach Amico
I've had panic attacks so many. So many.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It makes you feel like. Like if you could get out of your skin. Like, if there was a way for me to pull my skin off and just, like, get out of myself. That's how it feels. So you freak out.
Naim Ali
I almost had one on the plane. They set me in the very back, like, the inside seat. And that inside seat in the very back had no window. And I'm sitting there, and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna lose it on here. I gotta get the out of here. I gotta get out of here. And I asked the stewards. I'm like, yo, gotta change seats. And she was like, well, after we get everybody seated, I'll see. And then she came back. She was like, yeah, we can move you up here. I was like, thank God. I was gonna lose it.
Zia Anderson
And then beyond a panic attack, my therapist tells me there's something called a trauma event, which basically means you think you might die, and then you're extremely irrational. So for her, that might have been a fight or flight where she literally was like, I can't be here.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And was just. Didn't Damn it.
Naim Ali
Just start pulling.
Zia Anderson
It's like your adrenaline and shit takes over.
Naim Ali
Right, right, right.
Zia Anderson
Like I remember because I had, I had a really bad wound and then I was exhausted for like two days.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And I was telling my. Cause like basically like it was like, it was like I was electric.
Zach Amico
Yeah. It fucks your adrenal glands basically. And then you're just drained afterwards. Yeah. I had so much.
Naim Ali
Yeah, I think I had one of those. I think I had a trauma, but I don't think I had a panic. I was close to having a panic attack. One time I got robbed and this was like probably, this was probably three weeks after my older brother got killed. So my older brother's friend got robbed and then my brother tried to help him and then the guy shot my brother and killed him. Three weeks later I'm getting robbed and the guy puts the gun in my face. And I just like, I just freaked out. Started running, running around and shit, screaming somebody out. Started freaking the fuck out. Ran all the way home. I was like, I might have been like two miles from my house. I was two miles from my mom's house and ran all the way there just full speed.
Zach Amico
That's why you never know how you're going to react in a situation until you're in that situation because you don't know what your body.
Naim Ali
Yeah. You don't know.
Zach Amico
I would like to think like I've had so many panic attacks over the years since I was 16. I've gotten really good at.
Naim Ali
Right.
Zach Amico
Like, like containing. Yeah. Bringing myself down. Like I can talk myself out of it. I can breathe sometimes. Sometimes I can't. And I just. But I also just have it. Cuz I know I'm just going to have the panic attack and then it's going to go away. It like peaks and then it. So I know if I just get through it. So I'd like to think I'd be fine, but I don't know.
Zia Anderson
This, this is fun. We can actually talk some therapy right now.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
So the two things my shout out. Dr. Wendy, my therapist said when I have panic attacks, the first that really helps me is count your teeth.
Zach Amico
Oh, I've never done that one.
Zia Anderson
Take your tongue and count your teeth and by the time you're done, you forgot you like you're out of it.
Naim Ali
Right, right, right.
Zia Anderson
And the other one is to memorize four or five things in the room. Color, object. So like if I was sitting here I would go green wall, red shirt, blue hat, you know, window, something. And you get it in that order. And you close your eyes and repeat it until it's a pattern. And there's something about distracting your mind with that that helps you breathe through it.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Damn.
Zia Anderson
Because I'll get those at like, crowded places.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And I just have to go sit down and like, count or do the. The, you know, green car, green grass.
Naim Ali
Right, right, right. Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And that really helps me.
Naim Ali
Damn. Well, you remember when you were in Philly, that's why we had to go pick my baby mama from the daycare. Right. I. I had to pick. She has her own car. I have to pick her up because she has panic attacks when she drives. Yeah. Like if she's driving by herself with our daughter, she just starts freaking out because she thinks, oh, so what if somebody crashes into me? What if. What if anything. So I had to. I have to go pick her up from the daycare. I have to go pick. Well, my. My baby mom owns the daycare, so I had to go pick her. My daughter up and drive her back home.
Zach Amico
How does she. Can she go grocery shopping? Or is it like she gets.
Naim Ali
She gets rides everywhere. Yeah. Like it's either me or her mom driving her around all the fucking time.
Zach Amico
Tell her to look into emdr.
Naim Ali
Emdr. Okay. I put that in my phone.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah. Write it down. Because I just. I've. I've done a ton of research on it and I'm going to start trying it for stuff like that. For me, because I'm also. Same thing. Planes, small spaces, anything that I can't get out of.
Naim Ali
Right, right.
Zach Amico
Holy shit. It's sucks I had to freak out on a plane too, like you. But I was like. I was like, I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here. And like I was saying, like, it was. It was really bad. This was years ago.
Naim Ali
So did they had they ground the flight?
Zach Amico
No, no, no. My husband was with me and he's really good at calming me down because I've had anxiety for as long as I've known him.
Naim Ali
Emdr.
Zach Amico
That's a great idea.
Zia Anderson
Zach.
Zach Amico
Concentrated on that.
Zia Anderson
Emdr, by the way, that I. We've. We've harped on it before, but the naim driving me through Philly is such a funny. Every part of it is. It was funny from the second we left New York.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
Till we got to the comedy.
Naim Ali
Yes. It was the whole time.
Zia Anderson
We were. Everything was funny. We were fucking with each. We were making sure we left. But then anything that happened was funny.
Naim Ali
Yes. Like, literally everything was funny. And Then the simple fact that I was with you, I'm like, yo, this is going to be. We gonna see so much ghetto shit. I'm like, we gonna see so much ghetto shit. Zach will have so much material by the time we get to this goddamn show.
Zia Anderson
It was like the opposite of the green book. Like, it was him just showing me as black as Philly could get.
Naim Ali
Yes. Dude.
Zia Anderson
It was so like, bro, the icing on the cake.
Naim Ali
My baby mom brings my daughter outside from the daycare, and she has on pajamas with watermelons all over. Oh, my God, I never seen those pajamas for. I'm like, of all days to put these pajamas on her. You would do this when I got Zach in the car, like, what the fuck, dude?
Zia Anderson
And then it was the most beautiful. So where I'm in the front, his, his daughter, and his daughter's mother in the back. And we see on Market street in Philly, three children, one of which is a baby in diapers.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
Doing TikTok dances on the roof. On the roof without a ledge?
Naim Ali
Yes. No ledge on the roof, no railing, nothing.
Zia Anderson
This baby's doing like the Fortnite Dance.
Zach Amico
Was there any diaper adults with them at all?
Naim Ali
No. No.
Zach Amico
Okay. Yeah, I didn't think so.
Naim Ali
There's three little black kids up on this roof dancing. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Holy shit.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
One fell off and bumped their head. So the naive's baby mama calls the police. First of all, she's like, we need to call the police. And Naim, I mean, he's like, they ain't my kids, right?
Naim Ali
I'm like, yeah. I'm like, why don't you just mind your business?
Zach Amico
Damn, that's such a city thing.
Naim Ali
It is.
Zach Amico
Mind your own business mind. Someone's getting murdered on the sidewalk. And you're like, I'm just gonna cross on the other side of the street.
Zia Anderson
But then I got to listen to, in a row, her call the police. And in her I'm talking to the police voice, explain the situation.
Zach Amico
Did she switch to, like, sound like a white lady real quick?
Zia Anderson
Very matter of fact. Here are the coordinates, officer. Yes, they are children unattended on a rooftop. And then I got to listen to her call her best friend and retell the story.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
This girl. There's babies dancing on the roof, and I had a duck call the police.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
And I'm just.
Naim Ali
And Naeem, dumbass over here talking about something. Mind my business. No, I'm not minding my business.
Zia Anderson
I'm like, yo, I'm vibrating this shit. I'm vibrating with Racist laughter.
Naim Ali
We dropped them off. I literally looked at Zach. I was like, all right now, Zach, I don't know what the fuck just happened, bro. I was like, all that ghetto shit, I ain't playing on that. I was like, I know you gonna say something about it on stage. You like, nah, nah, nah, I'm not going. As soon as he got on stage, started killing with that shit, I'm like, God, that's all I did that night. That's all you did.
Zia Anderson
I literally, I did 15 minutes of this is what happened when Naim drove.
Naim Ali
Me here and murdered so hard. That shit was crazy.
Zia Anderson
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Zach Amico
All right. Is this a thing in the hood? Because this is a big thing in Hawaii. All the babies have gold and silver teeth.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Because they feed them. Like they give them the bottle with just juice in it.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Naim Ali
So they get cavities. You got to get gold and silver cats.
Zach Amico
Straight up silver caps on a three year old's teeth. Everywhere.
Naim Ali
That's. And that kid is always a problem.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Kid with the silver and gold caps is a problem.
Zia Anderson
There was, I saw, such a insight into how I have no idea how to eat or take care of myself. My best friend is a 5 year old, and he came to my mom's house for a holiday. And, dude, just the way my mom searched for affection from this kid through treats, really. So this kid's gluten free. He's never had anything. This kid has water and, like, veggie sticks.
Naim Ali
Yeah. Yeah.
Zia Anderson
They're raising him super healthy, though.
Naim Ali
That is.
Zach Amico
That's so sad for a kid.
Naim Ali
That is. That's how my mom raised me. And I went crazy when I got to high school.
Zia Anderson
Crazy. I mean, they'll take him to, like, Denny's and shit, but, like, they're pretty careful with them. And, dude, first of all, my mom text me the morning of, what does Barrick drink? And I was like, scotch. He's five. I don't know.
Naim Ali
Fucking apple juice. I don't.
Zia Anderson
I don't fucking know. So I text my buddy, I'm like, my mom wants to know what Barrick drinks. And he goes, water. We're bringing it when we get there. My mom had Juicy juice, apple juice. Does Barrick want some juice? And they're like, no, he doesn't drink that. Mom's like, are you sure? And then this kid's gluten free. Whole life. My mom gets pizza. He loses his fucking gourd. Five years old, annihilates two slices.
Naim Ali
Of course. Of course.
Zia Anderson
And before he's done with the second slice, my mom is out with cupcakes.
Naim Ali
Oh, my God.
Zia Anderson
Then comes out with cookies and then puts a cake on the table. He loses fucking mind. Then she just sends him back out.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
Puts him in my friend's car. Like, all right, bye. I was like, this kid's gonna fucking.
Naim Ali
Yes. He gonna be bouncing off the wall.
Zia Anderson
He's gonna lift the car. Sure. He's never had any of those things before.
Naim Ali
That's crazy as shit. Can you imagine what's happening to his taste buds in his brain? Like, he was freaking out. I'm sure.
Zach Amico
Dude, legitimately, sugar has the same effect on your brain as, like, heroin and stuff.
Zia Anderson
Really?
Zach Amico
Yeah, because it's a. It's basically a drug that makes sense.
Shannon
Yeah.
Naim Ali
It's hard to quit sugar.
Zach Amico
It's hard to quit sugar. But I still think with that, what you see, there's just two extremes. It was. They were too extreme. And then on the other side is also too extreme. You can't go too far one way or the other.
Zia Anderson
They're Very. It's a cognitive thing. He's. He's on the spectrum.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zia Anderson
A lot of people on the spectrum, they try and avoid gluten.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
Because it's bad for cognitive thinking and development.
Zach Amico
Shit.
Zia Anderson
I have a cousin who's basically on the. Was on the same regimen, but all it did was make her fiend for bread.
Naim Ali
Yes. Yeah.
Zia Anderson
She was non verbal, dude. If people left her with bread, that shit was done.
Zach Amico
Is magical.
Naim Ali
It is amazing. You do some cinnamon. Some cinnamon raisin swirl, bro.
Zia Anderson
I read a thing that made me want to fudgeing. First of all, you see people are mad at Cuomo for fucking. They said what's. They asked him his New York breakfast and he goes, a bacon, cheese and egg.
Naim Ali
Oh, no.
Zach Amico
He fucked it up. He couldn't even say that.
Naim Ali
I'm not even from New York and I know that that's wrong with a.
Zia Anderson
Bacon, cheese and egg on an English muffin.
Naim Ali
What the heck?
Zia Anderson
I don't like bagel. I try to avoid bagels.
Naim Ali
What the fuck type of Italian is this guy?
Zia Anderson
The worst.
Naim Ali
The worst.
Zia Anderson
The worst. I will never forgive a man for bacon, cheese and eggs. Yeah, it's like the same when they got JLO for being. Being fucking fake ghetto. They asked her what her bodega order was and she's like that. Ham and cheese, if you know what I'm talking about.
Zach Amico
Ham and cheese.
Naim Ali
Ham and cheese.
Zia Anderson
Yeah. Like, she's like, if you know, you know. And then it was all things.
Zach Amico
And everyone was like, no, we don't know.
Naim Ali
Yeah. The fuck are you talking about?
Zia Anderson
But yeah, they got. I read a thing that a New York bagel is equivalent to eating half a loaf of bread.
Naim Ali
Yeah, that's crazy.
Zach Amico
You can't do it all the time, but God damn it, they're good.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Bacon, egg and cheese, salt, pepper, ketchup.
Zia Anderson
I had a. Dude, I go to this Jewish place called Shellsky's and they have a Szechuan peppercorn bagel.
Zach Amico
Oh, my God. That sounds.
Naim Ali
That sounds crazy.
Zia Anderson
It's really spicy. It's really good.
Zach Amico
Have you ever had a French toast bagel?
Zia Anderson
Yes, actually. One of my big.
Naim Ali
Now I want one.
Zia Anderson
One of my. Damn if I can ever get it. One of my favorite weekend treats. Sausage, egg and cheese on toasted French toast bagel.
Zach Amico
That sounds amazing.
Zia Anderson
Basically, what I refer to as the elevated McGriddle.
Naim Ali
Yeah, there you go. That's the best sandwich McDonald's has.
Zach Amico
It is.
Naim Ali
Out of all of.
Zia Anderson
I just did this on Sam Roberts yesterday, but I want to show You. I was on the road and I was in the south and I had two different fast food breakfasts that blew my balls off.
Naim Ali
Okay?
Zia Anderson
So Shannon, could you please look up.
Naim Ali
The.
Zia Anderson
Bo Berry Biscuit from Bojangles?
Naim Ali
Okay. Damn. I ain't been a Bojangles as a little ass kid.
Zach Amico
I've heard about it. I've never been.
Zia Anderson
Dude, we're, we're. I was on the road. Icp doing the wrestling. And it was me, Willie Mack, who's a very. Could you look it up with the one with sausage?
Naim Ali
Oh, what the hell. It was good as shit.
Zach Amico
God damn, that looks amazing.
Zia Anderson
It was me, my friend, Willie Mack, who's a large, proud blackman. And another gentleman's last name.
Naim Ali
Yeah, Like. Like he's a Jewish. Like he's a Jewish guy. Black man.
Zia Anderson
That's it. So that's what I had.
Naim Ali
Oh, that looks great.
Zach Amico
Awesome.
Zia Anderson
That was so good. And then our other friend Congo Kong, who's black dude, we pulled up the Bojangles. And when I say this little town in South Carolina was not prepared for me and two giant black guys to get out of a van and go to Bojangles, they were like, look at them. They love it.
Naim Ali
They had to run to the store, grab some more shit, need more supplies.
Zia Anderson
It was so fucking. Also there was another giant guy, Sam Stackhouse. And then Shane Mercer, who's like a big bodybuilder guy. We were quite the group. Damn. But that Boberry Biscuit, Incredible. And now, Shannon, I need you to search. The place is called Raise the Roost.
Naim Ali
Oh, that's a good name.
Zia Anderson
And it is the Chicken, Egg and Cheese Biscuit.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zia Anderson
Now these are. It's a fast food place, but it's also connected to 7 11. So it'll have a fried chicken counter in the 7 11.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zach Amico
We don't have good 7 11s here.
Zia Anderson
No, we don't.
Zach Amico
My dream would be to open an Asian 7 11.
Zia Anderson
Oh, Japanese 711 in New York.
Naim Ali
Oh, that'd be nice.
Zia Anderson
This is it. This is exactly it.
Zach Amico
That looks amazing.
Naim Ali
That looks great.
Zia Anderson
When I tell you the chicken was as good as like the Popeyes chicken sandwich.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
But that egg and cheese, that looks so good, buddy. I was beside myself on how good that shit was.
Zach Amico
Those little fast food hash browns are amazing.
Naim Ali
They are so fucking good. They're so good.
Zach Amico
Oh, my God. I don't know.
Naim Ali
You can't buy them. I don't buy hash browns. And they don't taste like that.
Zia Anderson
Ore Ida does them. You gotta do them in the Ore Ida you got to do them in the air fryer. Obviously, putting them in the fryer would be best.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
Air fryer. They're great.
Naim Ali
Okay. All right. All right. So that's where I'm up. I'm throwing them in the oven. Throw them in the microwave and shit.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Air fryer, microwave. Any of it?
Zia Anderson
Yeah, anything supposed to be crispy. You gotta air fry.
Naim Ali
Yeah. Okay.
Zia Anderson
Have you had the Taco Bell hash brown?
Naim Ali
No.
Zach Amico
Is it good?
Zia Anderson
Excellent. And they do it in the crunch wrap.
Naim Ali
Damn.
Zia Anderson
So they do a crunch. A bacon, egg and cheese or sausage? Egg and cheese crunch. Wrap with the head instead of having the tortilla in it. It's a hash brown.
Naim Ali
Damn. That's fire.
Zach Amico
Okay. I gotta go to a Taco Bell. The last time we went to Taco Bell, because the Taco Bell in our.
Zia Anderson
Town, there it is.
Zach Amico
Where we live, is a. God, that looks amazing.
Naim Ali
That looks good as hell.
Zach Amico
Is a. It's a hole. Like, literally, It's a. It's 45 minutes to get your food. You don't get half your order. When we first moved there, we ordered delivery from Taco Bell. We're like, it. It's like 2 o' clock in the morning. Let's get some Taco Bell. They sent us like two out of the eight things that we ordered. And one thing that we didn't order at all.
Naim Ali
What?
Zach Amico
They just. Yeah, I was like, so we don't. We don't go to that Taco Bell anymore. But at some point I want to go try all that.
Naim Ali
That's the worst. When you order. When you go to a fast food place and they just give you all the wrong. That's why I stopped going to checkers. That's. That was it for me. Every. I went to Checkers like three times in a row.
Zia Anderson
It's called checkers because you have to check the bag. Because they're not gonna give you what you ordered.
Naim Ali
It's never what you is. I'm literally never. It's almost like they do it on purpose. Like, they're like, man, what you said. Here you go.
Zach Amico
I understand that it's fast food, but fast food is now paying like 20 bucks an hour.
Naim Ali
Yes, it is.
Zach Amico
Places. So it's not like you have a real job. Come on.
Naim Ali
Yeah. This isn't five, 15 hour. You got a real job.
Zia Anderson
Yeah. Those are the ones that are on the books, though. Sometimes you go to McDonald's at 3 in the morning.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And you get, like, at those hours, you get the. The. The Mexican. Mexicans Yeah, no English. The hamburger. I don't know. Because my favorite thing used to be. Because I love. I love fast food breakfast, but there's nothing better than staying up for fast food breakfast after partying all night.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And my favorite would be to go to the 24 hour McDonald's and wait for them to switch over, which is usually right around when the bars close.
Naim Ali
You got all the fresh bruh.
Zia Anderson
And I would go and wait and I would walk because I live in a neighborhood where it's all guidos partying, and they call it Bar Ridge. So it's all the drunk Italians from Staten island trying to order hamburgers. And it's like the C squad working at MC McDonald's. They're like, he's breakos. And then some guy like, I know you got burgers back there. We just want cheeseburger. Oh, iz breakos. No hamburger. All right, so here's a fun thing, and I think appropriate for our guests. This is a fun little list. How celebrities tip according to readers who serve them. So let's take a look at some celebrities.
Zach Amico
I've served so many celebrities.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, can you get. Can you give us who's been good tippers?
Zach Amico
Yes. Okay. Pedro Pascal. Great tipper.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zach Amico
Super nice dude.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Usher. Tips pretty good. Met him.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zach Amico
Adam Levine. Tips crazy good.
Naim Ali
Nice.
Zach Amico
He's really, really nice. Brad Wilk, the drummer for Rage against the Machine. Super nice guy. Tips really well. He used to come in with Juliet Lewis all the time. His girlfriend. I don't know if they're still together or not. Also super nice. Some people that tip like, complete and utter shit. The dude with the mustache that played Master Chief from Orange is the New Black.
Naim Ali
Okay, okay.
Zach Amico
Hate that guy. He's such an asshole. Anyway, him. And then what about the. All about that bass singer? I always forget her name.
Zia Anderson
I don't remember.
Naim Ali
I don't know.
Zach Amico
Meghan Trainor.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Shannon
Her.
Zia Anderson
Thank you.
Zach Amico
Horrible tippers. You're welcome.
Zia Anderson
Good to know.
Naim Ali
I would think they would all tip.
Zach Amico
Well, they don't.
Naim Ali
They're rich as fuck.
Zach Amico
They don't.
Zia Anderson
Some people just don't believe in it.
Naim Ali
Yeah, that's not. If you listen. You catch me on a payday, I'm tipping like a millionaire. You might catch it. You might get a 50 out of me. You see what I'm saying?
Zach Amico
That's what I do. It's because I worked in service for so long, I tipped Tip like, I tip crazy every time.
Zia Anderson
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I can't. And I don't go out that much.
Zia Anderson
So I'm like that at bars because my. I grew up with my mom bartending.
Naim Ali
Yeah. Yeah.
Zia Anderson
So, like, I walk in and I immediately put a 10 or 20 down for my first drink.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And that way they know, like, oh, hey, I understand.
Zach Amico
Like, and they'll take care.
Zia Anderson
And we also now have an understanding.
Naim Ali
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. And you get better service.
Zia Anderson
100. But also, like, they're happier to serve.
Naim Ali
Like, yeah, it makes sense.
Zia Anderson
Like, one of my. If I see somebody starting their shift, I'll give her a 10 and go, this is good luck money for your shift.
Zach Amico
Nice.
Zia Anderson
And that, like, to me, like, I'm like, oh, I just made their day better.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zach Amico
Oh, 100%. And it's not.
Zia Anderson
10 bucks is fucking 10 bucks.
Naim Ali
Yeah, right.
Zia Anderson
I was gonna spend it on a drink anyway. And usually most places, if the owner's not a dick, you get buybacks or they. This one's on me. Usually every third one. If you're tipping the price of the drink.
Naim Ali
For sure. Yeah, definitely.
Zia Anderson
I think it kind of evens out.
Zach Amico
Yep. No, absolutely.
Naim Ali
Especially at, like, comedy clubs and shit.
Zia Anderson
Nothing makes me madder. When comedy clubs give you one drink.
Naim Ali
That's crazy, dude.
Zia Anderson
The way I tip when. If I'm headline, even if I'm featuring.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Zia Anderson
I know I'm tipping at least 20 or $30.
Naim Ali
Yeah, exactly.
Zia Anderson
And I do. There's a club that made me so fucking mad. And then I said it on the air. And people started tweeting them, but I had to ask them to stop. It was me, Andy, and Chris.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zia Anderson
And we each ordered. I think Chris got a Heineken. I don't remember what Andy got. And I got, like, a Makers on the rocks. And then they charged us full price for them. And I was like, oh, no, no, I'm. I'm headlining. Whoa. And they went, yeah, we don't do. That's gonna be $50.
Naim Ali
What?
Zach Amico
Holy.
Zia Anderson
And I took out the. In front of the manager, I took out the money, and I tipped the lady, I think, whatever, five or six bucks. And I said, hey, just so you know, this 50 I'm paying you was gonna be your tip on those drinks. And I need you to tell your manager that. Cause I would have hung out all night and tipped you another hundred.
Zach Amico
Yeah, but the manager, they don't care because it's the. They want to make money.
Zia Anderson
They would have.
Zach Amico
I know.
Zia Anderson
And by the way, what does a hiking cost them? A quarter.
Zach Amico
I know.
Naim Ali
Yeah, right.
Zach Amico
But they're fucking. I, I, I know places like that. Oh, God.
Zia Anderson
Maybe I'm. Maybe I'm a dick for thinking, but I always think performers. I'm not saying fucking let them. I'm not saying, like, every comic who's in the building. No, if you're on the show, I'm on the show.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And don't be a dick. Don't order, like, fucking high shelf.
Naim Ali
Yeah. We're not going top shelf. You're not getting two, three drinks at one time. But if you're on the show, yes, you should be able to drink. They tried that shit at Helium in Philly. It wasn't the manager, though. It was like. The owners was like, yo, I don't know. For some reason they just came one night and just saw all the comics there hanging out, and they were like, look, you gotta cut this shit back. We want you closing the doors at fucking 11 o' clock or 11:30 as soon as the show's over. No comics, just hanging here, drinking all night. People getting free drinks. Fuck all that. And they told the staff that and they told the manager that. And the manager came straight up to us and was like, we not changing shit. Y' all keep coming here, drinking, partying, like. Cause the thing is, we're there performing on a weekly basis damn near, like, all throughout, you know, from. From Monday to Wednesday. There's nothing going on at a comedy club, so they rely on, like, the local people to do shit. So, like, why would we. Why would they tell us not to come there and hang when we're there performing on the nights when nobody's coming there?
Zach Amico
Owners sometimes are so stupid with that stuff. It's like they don't understand the big picture and the whole point of it.
Zia Anderson
Well, it's. It's nickels and dimes.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
To when you could be making.
Naim Ali
Yeah, 20, right? Yeah, exactly. Like, it's crazy.
Zia Anderson
And then it's like. It's nickels and dimes out of their pocket to give their servers real money.
Naim Ali
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Zia Anderson
Maybe I also have never run a successful bar, so maybe. I don't know. Maybe I'm a fucking asshole.
Zach Amico
No, I think you need to hang on to good servers and good bartenders because, like, service is what keeps people coming back to a place. It's good food.
Zia Anderson
You guys always step at a hotel?
Zach Amico
Always? Yeah.
Naim Ali
Like at a hotel bar, just like.
Zia Anderson
No, no. If you stay, do you leave money in the room for the.
Naim Ali
No, I tip room service, but I don't leave money, like, on the fucking.
Zach Amico
For the housekeepers. I do.
Naim Ali
I didn't even think about that till. Y' all said it. It's.
Zach Amico
Because I swear it's. No, don't. I mean, it's.
Zia Anderson
Not everybody does. Some people. I try to. If it's. If I'm there more than a day, definitely. Cause I read recently that housekeepers don't get paid hourly. They get paid per room.
Zach Amico
Really? I didn't know that.
Zia Anderson
In some places, yeah.
Zach Amico
When I did it, I got paid hourly.
Zia Anderson
You got paid hourly?
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
I've read in some places you get paid per room.
Zach Amico
Okay. Damn. Yeah, See, that's why, though. It's. I think a lot of times people don't think about that stuff. And I get it. Like, I wasn't mad when people didn't tip me for a house. Like, because not every. You're right. Not everyone does. But it was nice when people did. It was like, oh, shit, someone left it.
Zia Anderson
Yeah, yeah. If I just stayed somewhere and I didn't fuck it up and I, like, literally just slept in the bed and left. I'll leave a couple bucks.
Zach Amico
I left five today because of that. We stayed one night.
Zia Anderson
I'll leave a couple bucks if I know I fucked the room up, right? Like I was eating chicken wings in bed. You're getting a 10 or 20 sometimes.
Zach Amico
It's nasty. This wasn't me. This was my friend who I worked with. There were these gay dudes staying in one of the rooms, and when she cleaned it out, she had to throw the sheets out because there was blood all on the sheets. And, like, I think there was some on the sheets, too.
Naim Ali
Like they were doing.
Zach Amico
They were doing some butt fucking in there.
Zia Anderson
That's what hotels are for.
Zach Amico
Nasty.
Naim Ali
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
Nasty. I don't think they tip, though, which is crazy. Like, if you're gonna leave blood on the sheets, leave a 20, you know?
Zia Anderson
God damn, I've left a 20 or two. Not from blood, but, you know, from oops to doodles. So it happens, I always say, when you stay in a room with two beds by yourself, one bed is for sleeping, one bed is for masturbating and eating. That's how I split up my bed. Cause, you know, you finish your business and you're like, now I'm gonna go back into the clean bed, yo. After I've been wiping my mouth with sheets, right?
Naim Ali
With the sheets.
Zia Anderson
I think the most I ever left after one of the. After the first skank fest Vegas, I think I left 50 in chips and an 80 voucher for the lady. I was there for a week. I was there for a week.
Zach Amico
That's nice.
Zia Anderson
And I also couldn't. I didn't have time to go cash either of those things in. And I was like, oh, this is just an errand. But also, I'm sure this is a hell of a fucking good day for this. 130 bucks extra.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Naim Ali
No, for sure. That's definitely a good day. Extra 130. Yeah.
Zia Anderson
But that was like. I was there for like. And that was like the nice suite at the Cirque.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zia Anderson
So I felt like. And that was after they did a wellness check on me.
Zach Amico
Why do they need to do a wellness check?
Zia Anderson
Sir, you haven't left your room in 36 hours.
Naim Ali
Yo.
Zia Anderson
You had your do not disturb sign up for 36 hours and no one's seeing you.
Naim Ali
You were that fucked up.
Zia Anderson
It was after Skank Fest.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
So I was. I was. I think I left the Go flu.
Naim Ali
That fucking illness we get.
Zia Anderson
Yeah. The crowd.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
And I think I. Maybe I was pretty fucked up.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zia Anderson
I think I left to like, go get like sodas and shit at one point, but nobody saw me.
Naim Ali
Okay.
Zia Anderson
But then I found out from other people that's both. That whole thing is not also necessarily because they send up two people.
Naim Ali
Right? Right.
Zia Anderson
One is the guy talking to you and there's another guy standing far behind him. And they told me that's because of the Vegas shooter.
Naim Ali
Oh, shit.
Zia Anderson
And that they're checking to make. See what's going on. So the guy that's talking to you is the distraction.
Naim Ali
Yeah, yeah.
Zia Anderson
The guy that's watching is scoping out to see what's going on in your room.
Naim Ali
Right, right, right.
Zach Amico
Do they train people for this? They're training their hotel staff.
Naim Ali
That's wild.
Zia Anderson
I'm sure there's a million things we have. No, dude, think about Casino. Like all the shit they know. True. Like the pit bull. Like how many letter levels up the ladder there. You know, there's the pit boss. This guy. This. This guy answers to this guy. I'm sure security is the same way.
Zach Amico
That's true. But I feel like that's only at nice, like, casinos, nice places. Like if you're just going to stay at a regular.
Naim Ali
Oh, yeah, Normal ass. No, that's not a Holiday Inn. They're not doing it. You actually did in that room for a week.
Zia Anderson
That's just an Indian guy who doesn't want to hear that the toilet doesn't work.
Naim Ali
Yeah. I remember three Skank Fests ago. We weren't like invited there. We just went out there just to hang with our friends and Shit. And so we all stayed in Lamar's room. It was like 10 of us staying in Lamar's room. And the next morning we woke up, we all got showers and shit. Then we left. Lemaire had been out the whole night, so when we were leaving, he was coming back to go to sleep. So we're leaving. He comes back and he calls me angry as fuck, like, yo, what the fuck is wrong with y' all? I'm like, what? He was like, so, what, did you guys just all take turns just pissing on the bathroom floor? I'm like, bro, we took showers. What the fuck type of childhood did you have where you assumed we all just took turns pissing on your bathroom floor, bro? I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why would we do that? Why would we piss on your floor?
Zach Amico
I mean, I.
Naim Ali
That's crazy.
Zach Amico
I've seen people get wasted and piss on hotel walls. It happens.
Naim Ali
It happens. But this is at, like, 10:00am yeah, yeah. He was the one out drinking and partying the whole night. We didn't even out there late the night before. He's coming back. We're leaving. 10:00am we all took shower. First of all, you could smell piss.
Zach Amico
That's true.
Naim Ali
Like, piss has a smell.
Zach Amico
It does.
Naim Ali
Especially if eight or nine men took turns pissing on the floor. Come on. Like, what are we even doing here? And he was like, oh, well. I mean, you guys could at least, like, cleaned it up. And I'm like, all right. I'm like, you better take a shower now. Come clean it up now. He was like, no, I'm going to sleep then. Shut up. Shut up. I'll see you when you wake up. Like, what he's saying, it's crazy.
Zia Anderson
I heard a great story of a deathmatch wrestling company getting banned from a hotel. One of the wrestlers had a party after the show, and all the guys went, and they were still bleeding.
Naim Ali
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Zia Anderson
And they were doing drugs all night and drinking. And then they all kind of passed out, woke up and left. And they called the guy whose room the name the room was in. And they're like, hey, sir, I'm sorry. We have some issues. We found some blood in your room. And he immediately. He's a old guy, so he's got his draft. He's like, oh, yeah, my girlfriend's on her period. I apologize. And they go, sir, it's on the curtains and the walls, and the entire bathroom sink is covered in blood. And he's like, yeah, my girlfriend's on her Period. What do you want?
Zach Amico
I'm just picturing how a girl on her period would get blood all over the curtain.
Zia Anderson
It was like, on the ceiling. Well, it was my one friend, and I won't incriminate the man whose room it was. It was my friend, hardcore hillbilly. He had taken a light tube shot in the back and fell asleep sitting up on the wall.
Naim Ali
Oh, shit.
Zia Anderson
So he fell asleep, slid down the wall.
Naim Ali
Yeah. And just made a street.
Zia Anderson
All right, so let's look at some of these celebrities talking about who was good, a good tipper and a bad tipper.
Shannon
First one is T. Pain. Do you guys want to guess or just want me to tell you?
Zia Anderson
Yeah, let's guess. T. Pain.
Naim Ali
T. Pain's a good tipper, I think, because he was. He blew all his money at one point in time. I think people like that.
Zia Anderson
I think. I think somebody that balls out and it's part of the image to tip good.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yep.
Zia Anderson
Shannon.
Shannon
So it says T. Pain once tipped $2,000 on an $800 bill.
Naim Ali
Damn. That's crazy.
Zach Amico
Why didn't I ever get those people T. Pain ever come in?
Naim Ali
What the fuck, right? That's some baller shit.
Zia Anderson
I love it. Shannon. Keep it going.
Shannon
Number two, Bruce Willis, I bet.
Zia Anderson
Great.
Naim Ali
Great tipper.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I would think.
Naim Ali
He seems like he respects people that are public image. Yeah, true.
Shannon
He tips 100% on the card and then 100% in cash.
Naim Ali
Wow.
Zach Amico
Wow.
Naim Ali
Nice. Very nice.
Zach Amico
Amazing.
Shannon
Kenan Thompson.
Zach Amico
I think he tips good.
Naim Ali
No, I don't think Kenan Thompson tips good, man.
Zach Amico
He seems like a nice dude. I don't know.
Naim Ali
He seems nice, but he don't be paying for them Keenan and friends shows at AC. He don't pay for them. Make $40 doing that dumb ass show.
Shannon
It says, best tipper at New York City nightclub was Tina. Tina Thompson tipped 100%.
Zach Amico
Nice.
Naim Ali
Okay, nice. Take it back.
Zach Amico
He's got a vibe about him.
Naim Ali
He does seem like a nice guy.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shannon
Sebastian Stan.
Naim Ali
I don't know who that is.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I was like, who's Sebastian Stan? I thought Sebastian Maniscalco for a second. Not him.
Zia Anderson
You gotta take.
Zach Amico
Oh, Sebastian Stan Winter soldier. I'm an idiot.
Naim Ali
Oh, I hope he tips good. I like this guy. Yeah, I hope he tips good. He looks like he tips good. He's a marvel guy. They make $10 million a minute.
Zach Amico
Yeah, he better tip good.
Naim Ali
He has to tip good.
Shannon
It says.
Zia Anderson
You remember when you. I gotta do Sebastian tipping now. You remember when you were a kid, your. Your. Your dad would take out his wallet. You have to do the card in his wallet. How much? You tip and you move the decimal point. Not me. I just take the money, I go boom. Sorry. Go ahead.
Shannon
It says he gave a thousand dollars to each staff member on the set of a different man.
Zia Anderson
That's awesome.
Naim Ali
Oh, yeah, that's nice.
Shannon
God, Jim Belushi, bad.
Zach Amico
Bad. Yeah, yeah.
Naim Ali
Bad timber. His sloppy looking ass.
Shannon
It says, Jim Belushi always gave me 100 to $200 on his regular $28 tab.
Zia Anderson
Good for him.
Shannon
It was oysters and one seltzer with bitters.
Zia Anderson
Good for him.
Zach Amico
All right. That's awesome.
Shannon
Lady Gaga, great temper.
Zach Amico
I could see her tipping bad.
Naim Ali
Yeah, I don't know. She was rude to her dog walker that fucking got killed or whatever the fuck.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I forgot about that.
Naim Ali
Yeah, I don't know about her. She seems like a rude Lady Gaga.
Shannon
And her boyfriend left a $700 tip on a $42 bill.
Zach Amico
Damn, Sam, I take it back. These are all just. They all just tip good.
Zia Anderson
Is it? Did anybody tip bad?
Shannon
They were a couple. Hold on, hold on.
Naim Ali
Well, all these people make so much money, though.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Naim Ali
Like, everybody on this list makes so much money.
Zach Amico
I mean, that's what I would do if I had a.
Naim Ali
It's nothing to you. You're a millionaire. It's nothing for you to leave. Here you go, take a thousand.
Zach Amico
That's like ten dollars for us.
Naim Ali
Yes. Yeah, one thousand. Take a thousand.
Zach Amico
I wish I had a lot of money to do shit like that. That'd just be a fun thing to do.
Naim Ali
Yes.
Shannon
I mean, this one, you know, it's just like the least of all the great ones. It says Zendaya and Tom Holland paid for the people behind them at Starbucks. This is just the least of the great ones.
Zia Anderson
That's gay.
Shannon
Jessica Simpson left me 50, 55, 0% on her lunch bill and signed a birthday card for my best friend.
Zia Anderson
That's fine.
Naim Ali
Yeah.
Shannon
Okay, hold on. I know it. All right, so the one that's obvious that I remember seeing from the end is a Diddy. And it just says worst was Diddy.
Naim Ali
Really?
Shannon
But not. Not what he gave City Girls.
Zia Anderson
Oh, the. Oh, I love. I love that song. City Girl. They.
Zach Amico
No clue.
Shannon
It says they're awful and they left $30 on a 300 bill.
Naim Ali
I could believe that. They. They seem like very rude ladies.
Zia Anderson
They seem very unaccustomed, for sure.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Naim Ali
And. And they were like, before they were rappers, they were scammers. Like, yeah. When they first. When they first got popular, the one girl in the group was in prison for scamming. So she couldn't even like go around and tour with them because she was in prison. Okay, so people like that, you're not going to tip good if you a scammer, you taking money from people.
Zach Amico
But you know what though? Worst tipping story. I don't know why I didn't think of this. Not even. This is just a worst story in general. The frickin Dixie Chicks.
Zia Anderson
Really, really?
Zach Amico
Fuck the Dixie Chicks.
Naim Ali
And they made so much money too.
Zach Amico
They made so much money. They came in once, this place I was working at, and it wasn't even my table to start with. I came in and took over because the girl before me was leaving her shift and they were waiting a long time for their food. Now the place that I worked at was a really busy. It was like a two and a half hour wait. It was a brunch place in la, which is, you know, brunch is insane there. It was like a two and a half hour wait. They came in, they were waiting a long time for their food because food was just taking a long time. And there's like. I just came into it. I didn't put their order in, nothing. And I kept checking in with the kitchen. I told the manager, like, there's not really anything I can do at that point.
Naim Ali
I'm just like, you're not cooking it?
Zach Amico
Yeah, like I'm not cooking the food. It was taking while they started to get really pissed off. They started to get really like. So they made their food to go because they had to go. And they just gave them their food to go and said, we took your food off of the bill. And I dropped the check with just their drinks. They not only stiffed me completely, didn't tip, they didn't pay for the drinks and I had to pay for them. They just got up, took their food and walked out.
Zia Anderson
Oh, that's soft.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Naim Ali
What the do they want you to do?
Zia Anderson
I don't know.
Zach Amico
I was like, I had to get the manager involved too. I was like, there's nothing I can do at this point. I checked in with the kitchen. Food's just taking a while. Like I don't know.
Zia Anderson
Well, I'm gonna remember that now if we take anything away from this episode.
Naim Ali
Yeah, fuck the Dixie Chicks.
Zia Anderson
Even though Goodbye Earl is a great.
Zach Amico
Song, I don't know any of their music.
Zia Anderson
Goodbye Earl is excellent.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Zia Anderson
Very, very good song, however inappropriate. And that's what we learned today. We're gonna call it there. Thank you so much. Tuning in. If you do one thing for me, guys, today it is to check out True Dat, Premiering on the 6th July of here on Gas Digital. Support. These guys, I love them dearly and I think you're going to love their show. I would love to talk true crime with you guys sometime. Of course, I am a serial killer aficionado, so I am ready whenever you have a subject and I can't wait to see what you guys do with the show. I love you very much and we'll catch you this Friday on our exclusive episode here on Gas Digital dot com. Bye.
Naim Ali
The fun's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time to him Papa Baco chugging it down just like the favorite ob and join the crew. It's a Miko morning too. It's a Miko morning.
Podcast Summary: Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0016: Na'im Ali and Zia Anderson
Release Date: June 8, 2025
Hosts and Guests:
The episode kicks off with typical Morning Zoo chaos as the hosts humorously address a late start.
Zach Amico [01:47]: “Hello, It's a Wednesday here on the Gas Digital Network. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zak Amico.”
Zia Anderson [02:16]: “Welcome to the horror of doing a show with someone who's perpetually late. It will age you. It will drive you crazy.”
The playful jabs set the tone for the episode, emphasizing the unhinged and humorous nature of the show.
The hosts delve into the challenges of managing show guests, particularly through digital platforms like Craigslist.
Zach Amico [10:00]: “Honestly, you know what's so funny? When we were doing Chip, we wanted to do a hemorrhoid competition... I put it up on Craigslist thinking maybe it'll be up for a little while.”
Zia Anderson [11:18]: “I had to go read the ad, read the ad, read the ad.”
This segment highlights their creative yet sometimes unconventional methods for sourcing guest content.
A substantial portion of the episode is dedicated to unpacking common stereotypes, tracing their roots, and sharing personal anecdotes.
Na'im Ali [17:35]: “Most stereotypes are true... The watermelon stereotype comes from black people being watermelon farmers because it was the easiest thing to grow.”
Zach Amico [17:46]: “What about the fried chicken one? Where'd that come from?”
Zia Anderson [18:15]: “It's because white people were richer in some cultures and had access to higher cuts of meat, so they didn't need to...”
The hosts discuss how historical contexts like slavery influenced stereotypes such as black people being associated with watermelons and fried chicken, and white people with mayonnaise.
Na'im Ali introduces his upcoming podcast, True Dad, emphasizing its focus on true crime.
Zach and Zia enthusiastically promote the podcast, sharing release dates and encouraging listeners to support their projects.
The conversation shifts to personal experiences with panic attacks, coping mechanisms, and mental health awareness.
Zach Amico [40:03]: “I've had panic attacks so many times since I was 16... I can talk myself out of it.”
Zia Anderson [40:31]: “When I have panic attacks, the first thing that really helps me is count your teeth.”
Na'im Ali [43:03]: “My baby mama has panic attacks when she drives...”
The hosts share strategies like counting teeth and memorizing objects to manage anxiety, fostering a supportive dialogue on mental health.
Sharing humorous and sometimes challenging tales of pet ownership, particularly dogs.
Zach Amico [35:07]: “I've seen people get wasted and piss on hotel walls. It happens.”
Na'im Ali [35:05]: “I bought a golden doodle for my daughter... six months later, the dog was way bigger than expected.”
These anecdotes illustrate the unpredictability and demands of owning pets, reinforcing their preference for low-maintenance animals like cats.
The hosts reminisce about fast food experiences, highlighting both positive and negative encounters.
Zia Anderson [57:03]: “I was on the road and I had two different fast food breakfasts that blew my mind.”
Zach Amico [55:28]: “They sent us like two out of the eight things that we ordered...”
Stories range from exceptional meal discoveries to frustrating service mishaps, adding a relatable and entertaining layer to the discussion.
A lighthearted segment where the hosts discuss how various celebrities tip based on accounts from service staff.
Shannon [69:54]: “T. Pain once tipped $2,000 on an $800 bill.”
Zach Amico [71:10]: “He gave a thousand dollars to each staff member on the set of The Different Man.”
Positive examples include generous tippers like T. Pain, Bruce Willis, and Zendaya, while less favorable mentions like the Dixie Chicks illustrate the disparity in tipping behaviors.
The episode wraps up with final anecdotes and promotional content.
Zia Anderson [75:21]: “We're gonna call it there. Thank you so much for tuning in... Catch you this Friday on GasDigital.com.”
Na'im Ali [76:06]: “The fun's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time to him.”
The hosts encourage listeners to check out Na'im Ali's True Dad podcast and tease upcoming content, maintaining engagement until the end.
Notable Quotes:
Zach Amico [01:47]: “It's your other boy, the international superstar Zak Amico.”
Na'im Ali [17:35]: “Most stereotypes are true...”
Zia Anderson [40:31]: “Take your tongue and count your teeth...”
Conclusion:
Episode 0016 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo delivers a blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions on stereotypes and mental health. With guests like Na'im Ali and the dynamic presence of Zia Anderson, the show offers an engaging and chaotic start to the listeners' mornings. The episode also effectively plugs upcoming projects, ensuring fans stay tuned for more entertaining content.