0017. Tristan Bowling and Joe Gorman

Summary

Podcast Summary: Zac Amico's Morning Zoo - Episode 0017: Tristan Bowling and Joe Gorman

Release Date: June 13, 2025 | Host: GaS Digital Network

---

1. Introduction and Guest Appearances

The episode kicks off with Zac Amico welcoming listeners to another energetic installment of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo. Zac introduces his guests, including the charismatic Joe Gorman and the humorous Tristan Bowling, setting the tone for a lively and chaotic morning show.

Notable Quote:

Zac Amico [04:47]: "Across the table for me are two very, very funny gentlemen from the super Sally. Joe, it is our good friend. Oh, God. Joe Gorman."

---

2. Personal Health Struggles and Comedic Advice

Zac shares a personal health dilemma involving an irritating allergic reaction in his underarms, attributing it to his current deodorant. The conversation turns humorous as the guests, including Richard Karn, offer comedic yet seemingly earnest advice on switching deodorant brands and consulting dermatologists.

Notable Quotes:

Zac Amico [01:47]: "I am dealing with an armpit thing. That's right, a thing."
Richard Karn [02:22]: "You need a deodorant that doesn't have aluminum."

---

3. Neighborhood Stories and Superintendents

The discussion shifts to amusing anecdotes about neighborhood superintendents, particularly focusing on past experiences with superintendents who were heavy drinkers. Stories about disappearing into bodegas and humorous interactions with strippers add a layer of relatable comedy.

Notable Quote:

Zac Amico [09:51]: "He wasn't doing. Yeah, he used to have a little helper guy who was always hammered."

---

4. Health Tips: Ear Cleaning and Congestion Remedies

Richard Karn delves into unconventional health tips, recommending the use of neti pots for congestion and sharing exaggerated tales of ear cleaning in India. The conversation blends genuine advice with over-the-top humor, keeping listeners entertained while ostensibly providing useful information.

Notable Quotes:

Richard Karn [05:02]: "You're, it's seasonal allergies you get from the pollen... take a nice neti pot."
Joe Gorman [05:28]: "I really mean this respectfully. I'm not going to do that."

---

5. Unexpected Power Outages and Community Protests

Zac recounts a harrowing experience of a power outage during intense neighborhood protests, comparing the chaos to scenes from horror movies like The Exorcist. The stories highlight the unpredictability of community events and add a dramatic flair to the episode.

Notable Quote:

Zac Amico [08:37]: "With protesting outside, there was nowhere... It was like I was living the beginning of The Exorcist."

---

6. Viral Animal Stories: The Runaway Zebra

A standout segment covers the escapade of a runaway zebra named Ed in Tennessee. The guests humorously speculate about Ed’s motivations and the logistics of capturing a zebra, blending absurdity with mock-serious analysis.

Notable Quotes:

Zach Amico [37:07]: "Shannon, tell us about it."
Joe Gorman [39:03]: "That used to happen in my old neighborhood. People get bizarre animals."

---

7. Enhanced Games and Body Modification Satire

The conversation takes a satirical turn towards the concept of "Enhanced Games," a fictionalized version of the Olympics without drug testing. The guests mock the extremes of body modification in sports, emphasizing the humorous potential of such an exaggerated scenario.

Notable Quote:

Zach Amico [61:35]: "It's going to be how far can we go with this?"
Richard Karn [62:12]: "It's gonna be wild."

---

8. Prank Deliveries: Sending Poop to Exes

A humorous segment explores the idea of sending prank packages filled with animal feces to ex-partners. Shannon narrates an exaggerated account of receiving a gallon of gorilla poop, prompting the hosts to joke about the logistics and repercussions of such pranks.

Notable Quote:

Shannon [49:42]: "She mailed a gallon of gorilla poop to her friend's ex."
Zach Amico [55:39]: "Women write cheater on your fucking truck."

---

9. Light-Hearted Laughs and Closing Remarks

As the episode winds down, the hosts engage in playful banter about the absurd topics discussed, including animal hybrids and exaggerated fitness records. Zac extends birthday wishes to Shannon, culminating the episode on a warm and humorous note.

Notable Quote:

Zach Amico [70:02]: "Happy birthday again, Shannon. The best in the business and a really great friend to everybody here."

---

Conclusion

Episode 0017 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo delivers a blend of personal anecdotes, comedic health tips, neighborhood tales, and outrageous humor. With guests like Joe Gorman and references to pop culture, the show maintains its signature chaotic and entertaining style, ensuring listeners start their day with laughter and a touch of absurdity.

---

Highlighted Quotes:

• Zac Amico [04:47]: "Across the table for me are two very, very funny gentlemen from the super Sally. Joe, it is our good friend. Oh, God. Joe Gorman."
• Zach Amico [37:07]: "Shannon, tell us about it."
• Shannon [49:42]: "She mailed a gallon of gorilla poop to her friend's ex."

Timestamp References: All quotes are referenced by their respective timestamps in the transcript for easy navigation.

---

Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the core discussions and comedic interactions of the episode.

Transcript

[Richard Karn]

Hi, I'm Richard Karn and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. Well, the brand new pocket hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here and it's a total game changer. Old fashioned hoses get kinks and creases at the spigot, but the Copperhead's pocket pivot swivels 360 degrees for full water flow and freedom to water with ease all around your home. When you're all done, this rust proof anti burst hose shrinks back down to pocket size for effortless handling and tidy storage. Plus your super light and ultra durable pocket hose Copperhead is backed with a 10 year warranty. What could be better than that? I'll tell you what an exciting exclusive offer just for you for a limited time. You can get a free Pocket Pivot and their 10 pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size Copperhead hose. Just text water to 64,000. That's water to 64,000 for your two free gifts with purchase W A T E R to 64,000. By texting 64,000. You agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethose.com terms fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go, Zach. Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play. Jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat.

[Joe Gorman]

Some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's.

[Zach Amico]

Waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee.

[Joe Gorman]

And join the cre. Morning too.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, the bed. Good morning, good morning. Good morning. How are you? It's your old pal cousin Zach. Welcome you to another Monday morning here on Zack Amiko's Morning Zoom on the Gas Digital Network. It's going to be a fun day. I am dealing with an armpit thing. That's right, a thing. I think I need to switch brands of deodorant because my, my, my underarms are what I can only describe as angry.

[Richard Karn]

Are they red? Itchy? Rashy?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, very painful. And an odd stinky.

[Richard Karn]

You. You are most likely having an allergic reaction to the aluminum in your deodorant. What, what, what brand do you use right now?

[Zach Amico]

I switched from like the green gel type 1 to a white creamy. Boy.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, I bet that's the you need. You need a deodorant that doesn't have aluminum.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm going to have to do that because it's been. It's really dampering my day.

[Richard Karn]

This might not be cool, but I think you should maybe see a dermatologist and see if you can get an ointment to expedite the.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I remember my college roommate Matt got it really bad in one of his underarms through the whole, like, where from? Like, his entire bicep underside.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it stunk. Like, it's like if he took his shirt off in the room, the room stunk. So it's not like that.

[Richard Karn]

Your underarms are so sensitive.

[Zach Amico]

It's very. Yeah, it's a real fudgeing pain. I got to switch. I got to. I got to make a switch around.

[Richard Karn]

It's not going to sound like organic deodorants or, you know, you have to apply them more often.

[Zach Amico]

I think I got to use lady deodorant sometimes.

[Richard Karn]

I mean. Yeah, there's like, treat yourself.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, it's like.

[Richard Karn]

It's like. It's still like a fudgeing product. They just try to gender it. They don't listen to these big corporations trying to gender their products. Dude, you. I wear women's panties, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that's. That's for comfort.

[Richard Karn]

Well, also for beauty confidence. If I have a. If I have a big job interview, you know, I'm wearing silky. My hands.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, beautiful. Under these slacks.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, man, I feel. I feel I could take on the world.

[Zach Amico]

Across the table for me are two very, very funny gentlemen from the super Sally. Joe, it is our good friend. Oh, God. Joe Gorman.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, my God. Thank you so much for having me back, Zach. Thank you for letting me give you medical advice, too. I am a licensed doctor.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you. I appreciate that greatly. And I need it. Lord love a duck. And also across the table from me. Sorry. Fixing my hair because I was in a cab and my hair's getting a little too long for the car. I gotta cut it. From the Modern Apes podcast.

[Richard Karn]

Jesus, what a rap.

[Zach Amico]

Looking homo repressed mama's boy. It's Tristan bowling.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn. All right, I'll take it. I like that I have a drop, but. What's up, guys? Mushy mush.

[Zach Amico]

How you doing? Good to see you looking good with the new. The new trim, buddy.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Either I get I look clean or Aryan.

[Richard Karn]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, those things go hand in hand.

[Joe Gorman]

They do. I've been wearing a lot of boots recently. No, it's been. It's been good. I. As much as you have an armpit thing, I have a congestion thing. Right.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, my God. You need a neti pot. Damn, dude. Call into the hotline. Yeah, let me.

[Zach Amico]

Dr. Gorman's on the case.

[Richard Karn]

You're. It's, it's the seasonal allergies you get from the pollen. I would say take a nice netty pot. That's good. It's, it's a. You boil that, you take 50 filtered water, you boil it to make it sanitary, then let it cool down to about room temperature. You can add like a saline salt to it. And there's a neti pot, and it just kind of drains your sinuses and then helps get any pollen that's stuck in there out.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay, well, I, I, I really mean this respectfully. I'm not going to do that.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, I understand.

[Joe Gorman]

Because that is so many steps.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And I will take just as many Benadryl to kill a horse. Hopefully it'll get the allergies out of the way or what? What's the allergy one? Is it Benadryl?

[Richard Karn]

Benadryl works. And then just take like a hot shower and then just like.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Zyrtec zero.

[Joe Gorman]

Is that one?

[Zach Amico]

It might be. You know what I want to do? I want to do the candle thing. The Asian people.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that looks so fun.

[Richard Karn]

I want to do that.

[Zach Amico]

Can you bring that up? I want, I, I. Because I took my trick for massages and they had it as an option and I really wanted to do it, but I'm afraid of what's going to be in there.

[Richard Karn]

No, I, I, it's. My girl and I went to Chinatown. We got facials. And then before that we got, like, a massage at one of the places. And, like, 20 bucks they'll, like, rub your feet for a good half hour.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

It's awesome.

[Zach Amico]

I think ours was 50 each.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And we got a 20 minute back rub. 20 minute foot rub.

[Richard Karn]

Nice. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

When it comes to ear cleaning, I'm a big fan of the little tool that you go in there and it has, like the little camera attached.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Richard Karn]

Dig it out.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Bird B. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn, those videos are awesome. But the best ones are from India because there's just like a whole cockroach in your ear. Right. Been there. Which is insane to me.

[Richard Karn]

They have, like, the earwax extraction ones where they're like, oh, we had to give this guy medication for, like, a couple weeks. And then.

[Zach Amico]

I'm really afraid a fire ball is gonna go into my earlobe.

[Shannon]

Is what it says. So relax.

[Joe Gorman]

Sounds like a good thing.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna skip through.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. I can't tell.

[Richard Karn]

Three times Speed. But apparently it's like the heat and the suction of the burning helps extract the wax.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, because I get worried because every. If I like, swim or stuff, usually, sometimes I get. I mean, like a year.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I can hear. But that. Because it's dry, I think I would want to do it.

[Richard Karn]

I had ear infections like crazy as a kid. Like, I was worried I was gonna have to have, like, a hearing aid or something later in life just because, like, the volume of it.

[Joe Gorman]

Wait, so that's all the gunk?

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, but it's. It's like also like. But how much is that is like ear gunk? And how much is like, just, like, wax from the. From the candle?

[Joe Gorman]

I. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Richard Karn]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like I got a. I.

[Richard Karn]

Feel like I'd feel more comfortable if it was like, a white man doing the extractions.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Richard Karn]

Like, I don't want some, like, minority getting near my sensitive ears, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. They're using that candle to just suck out your memories.

[Richard Karn]

What if they say, like, they light the candle and then they say, like, free Palestine and light me on fire? Symbolically, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

You just hear a fuse.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Just being like, hey, who did you vote for? Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's been my. That's my neighborhood. Every weekend is the fucking pro. They protest on my block. My chick came home yesterday, she's like, hey, just so you know, they're going to. They're going to have free Palestine in a few. In a few hours because there's a cop on every.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, damn. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they just go fucking hot. They go nuts for hours.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Right out the way. It used to be Spanish music.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Now it is Palestinian protests. That's nonstop hot. And I'll tell you, miserable Zach, this weekend, my power went out for four hours. Middle of the day, hot as balls.

[Richard Karn]

Awful.

[Zach Amico]

With protesting outside, there was nowhere, dude. It was like I was living the beginning of the Exorcist. It was terrible.

[Joe Gorman]

That's fudgeing awful, dude.

[Richard Karn]

That's like the start of, like, apocalypse movies where just everything's going wrong.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then after, like, three hours of no power, my super comes up and goes, okay, battle back. And when I asked him, he's like, oh, God, no answer, no English nothing.

[Joe Gorman]

He knows power back, though.

[Zach Amico]

Kind of. You didn't know Tuesday yesterday.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't show him on a calendar what Tuesday was.

[Joe Gorman]

That's fun.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that was awesome.

[Joe Gorman]

Those are the laid goods barriers that I like. Where I have to like go into, like remedial shapes and stuff like that where I'm like talking to like a child or parent.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I miss my old super who was just hammered all the time.

[Joe Gorman]

That's got to be fun. I think that's my super now because, like, we have. So I don't know who's doing it, but I'll be going out to throw recyclings out and there's easily a 30 rack of coolers in there. I'm like, I want to be up in your apartment, boss. That seems like such a fun time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. My old place was on top of a bodega and my Subaru would come and be like, I need to go get a tool. I'm like, okay. And then disappear for four hours. And one day we went to go downstairs to get sandwiches and he was just sitting in the bodega drinking a tall boy.

[Richard Karn]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

He wasn't doing. Yeah, he used to have a little helper guy who was always hammered. And one day he showed up without him. And my roommate goes, where's your friend? He goes, oh, he'd die.

[Joe Gorman]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

Damn, that's old school, baby.

[Zach Amico]

Shout out Sammy. Sammy was the best. Old, old, old Dominican.

[Richard Karn]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

As old as Dominican gets. No socks ever.

[Joe Gorman]

That's fucking tight. His shoes got to smell wild.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Dusty as fuck. Sun was real nice. Sun was. Sun was a little older than me and he was down. He usually had my back because I used to have a lot of fights with the neighbors.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, nice.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Indian people hated my guts.

[Richard Karn]

Hell yeah. Dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Dude. I can't imagine being my downstairs neighbors.

[Zach Amico]

I thought you just say, I can't imagine being Indian. Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

Also, all that text you have to do.

[Joe Gorman]

I can. Jesus Christ. The sandals all the time. I want a closed toed shoe, but not in that culture.

[Richard Karn]

Constantly sexually assaulting women on overcrowded buses, taking a shit on the street.

[Joe Gorman]

I think they're stealing our culture with that. I feel like I can start.

[Richard Karn]

We invented Bang Bus. They perfected it.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. They brought it to the people. You see. No, it used to be a private organization out in Miami. Very high class. I remember seeing those bank bus videos and be like, man, I wish I was there on the side of the road. I'm like, there's no way I could get hard for this lady.

[Zach Amico]

There is no way on God's green earth I could perform on that situation.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Also, did you see it was up on Worldstar, There's a video of two thick mamas in a bang bus sitch trying to Get a UPS guy to fuck them.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he holds strong, like, I gotta deliver these packages.

[Joe Gorman]

He's got a route. Dude.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. He would not. He fucking didn't. He. There was a point where he wouldn't even turn his head.

[Richard Karn]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Because he was like, this is on film. I'm in my uniform. I'm in the truck that makes.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

This will cost me my job.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. I got kissy feet, man.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he had. Dude. This guy had his priorities straight. I was very. It was. It was. And he was a proud blackman. Yeah, please.

[Shannon]

Oh, sorry. Damn it.

[Zach Amico]

It's okay, Shannon. Hey. No pressure, okay.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Here we go.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my gosh.

[Zach Amico]

Let's. Starting with this guy. Hi. How are you?

[Richard Karn]

Are you busy right now?

[Zach Amico]

Because we have two girls on the bus today, and we are wondering if were free and wanted to come have some fun with us.

[Richard Karn]

Hell, yeah, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Are you sure we can deliver your package?

[Richard Karn]

That's literally me after every set where the woman's like, have sex with me. And I'm like, absolutely not.

[Zach Amico]

No. I got to deliver these boxes.

[Richard Karn]

I got. I got. I got to go.

[Joe Gorman]

I got to go work at ups.

[Richard Karn]

I got to go work. I got to go clock in.

[Joe Gorman]

I got to go hang with Antoine. Be like, dude, the same thing happened to me.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, you have no. There was a UPS in Seahawkus growing up, but it was way down, like, on the other side of town.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I think every Black guy within 30 miles worked at UPS. And we used to call it the Black Mile. Cause it was just one. It was. There was no bus stop in front of ups.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, shit.

[Zach Amico]

So there was just. It was County Ave. And seacon, and we called it the Black Mile. All the black guys in town walked it every day to work at UPS.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn, dude.

[Richard Karn]

Damn, dude. FedEx needs to compete. They need to have a video of, like, their drivers, straight up fucking women. We're like, We're FedEx. We ain't queer. Do it. We'll deliver your package and a chick, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. There's an arrow between the E and the X. What of it?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

I'll kill you.

[Richard Karn]

That ain't no arrow, brother. That's a dick.

[Joe Gorman]

That's a hard cock.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we'll deliver your package and your butt.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, hit that. Hit it from the back. Like FedEx. Yeah. Let me see that FedEx, baby.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, you want some Incel. UPS driver delivering your switch? No. You want to do that? Dropping your stuff?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. This guy just came hard before he got here, dude. And he's got sandwiches and mini cooler cuz his wife knows that he works hard.

[Richard Karn]

Hell yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

That's beautiful dude. Honestly FedEx, you left some shit on the table. Either that or US mail just being like a dude just pulling individual papers out of girls pussy. Just feel like we're going to overnight it.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's get plugs out of the way. Hit that plug music. Jorge and Mr. Bowling. What do you want people to check out?

[Joe Gorman]

You can check out my podcast Modern Apes out there on YouTube world. Go to my Instagram Tristaniscovito. Yeah, that's right down there. Look at that. Go right there. And no, but yeah, June 20th, I'm going to be in Arizona doing my own show with my buddy Peter James Fowler. So if you're in az, go to Chandler, go to Mic Dropmania and we'll kiss. Dude.

[Zach Amico]

Excellent. Very nice. Blonde boobies in the chat right now, Mr. Gorman.

[Richard Karn]

Oh my God. Well, you can follow me on all social medias at Joe W. Gorman. It's right there. That's my handle on all platforms. I'm also on Xbox and PlayStation if you want to play with me. I'm down with that. I also have my weekly podcast I do with Alex Tomaselli. It's called Super Selly Joe's. Please subscribe on YouTube. We're dangerously close to 100 subscribers. Subscribers? It might change the course of history, man. Aside from that, just follow me on Instagram. I got some shows coming up. Maybe let me know where you want me to perform.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic. If you want to see me live, go to Punchup Live Zachamico. You can also see me on Instagram at Zach is not funny. If you're listening live, I'm a grizzly pair. Midtown tonight at 7.

[Richard Karn]

Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Awesome. And if you love the show, and we know you do, go over to gastedical.com today. Use that promo code ZOO Z O O. You get yourself a dollar fifty off a month your subscription. You get episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the archives thousands of episodes of your favorite podcast from over the years as well as get access to the live chat where people are posting lots of naked ladies right now. So thank you.

[Richard Karn]

Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Very very much for that. And I'm sorry, Shannon, had I known it was your birthday, I would have planned something. But also, it's kind of nice that we don't have to do birthday shit anymore, right?

[Shannon]

Yep. Totally fine. I'll take the. Happy birthday. Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Happy birthday. We love you very much. You're very talented, you're Very kind. And you're a wonderful person, and I'm glad you're in all of our lives. Thank you very much.

[Joe Gorman]

Let's put some anal porn in the chat for Shannon for her birthday.

[Richard Karn]

Happy 29th, Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, absolutely. Shannon, Shannon.

[Joe Gorman]

14 today.

[Zach Amico]

We wish.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Then there'd be four of them.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, guys, real quick. Today's episode is brought to you by our great friends at you Kratom, home of the 60 kilo. If you do Kratom. If you don't do Kratom, don't start on my account. But if you currently use Kratom for one of its many benefits, there's only one place in the world to get it, and that's yo, kratom dot com, stop going to bodega smoke shops and gas stations and getting a little bit of Kratom at a time, and you barely even know what's in there when. Yocratum.com has the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas Digital. There's no promo code needed because it's already the best deal in the world to Kratom. An entire kilo delivered right to your door for just 60 bucks. So give them a checkout today. Okay, Yokratom.com, home of the $60 kilo. Let's get back into the show. All right, let's keep it moving. All right, I got. I got a fun one for you. The new model just dropped.

[Joe Gorman]

The new model.

[Zach Amico]

The new. The new up. The new system update just dropped.

[Joe Gorman]

What is that? What do you mean?

[Zach Amico]

Former top girl Livy Dunn. Maybe the most beautiful woman walking the earth. Well, Livy Dunn's sister just turned 18. And how did she celebrate dropping an only fans.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, damn.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, if you want to look it.

[Richard Karn]

Up for us, roll that beautiful bean footage.

[Joe Gorman]

And Shannon, I don't know how to monthly give you money for this, but just go ahead and buy that only fans and I'll reimburse you.

[Zach Amico]

So I believe it's a freebie.

[Joe Gorman]

A freebie, you say?

[Zach Amico]

And she will start dropping content. But I believe she is getting people to sign up now.

[Shannon]

So I have her her Instagram real quick just so you can get an idea of what she looks like.

[Richard Karn]

Damn, that's crazy. That was a girl that was in high school during the pandemic. Yeah, maybe even middle school.

[Shannon]

Yes, that's her and her sister.

[Zach Amico]

And apparently the sister is none too pleased.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, no, I can imagine.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, they should pillow fight because that was.

[Zach Amico]

They Just punch each other in the tits.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Livy Dunn. I mean, I. I would hate to be like, the guy who's like, I can never her. So that's why I make fun of her, which is obvious. But like, I saw the Sports Illustrated where she did a split and she kind of has a mannish torso.

[Richard Karn]

Ooh, nice. You mean a beautiful torso.

[Joe Gorman]

A touch manish. I feel like.

[Zach Amico]

I think there's nothing wrong. I mean, obviously this girl, I gotta tell you, I'm starting to feel like a dirty old man. She looks too young to me.

[Richard Karn]

Isn't that awesome though, when that is.

[Zach Amico]

Like, damn, dude, she looks too young. That's a child.

[Richard Karn]

Why don't you come to my retirement home? I'll tell you about Dial Up Intern and vhs.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, that's. That might be. This might be me finally growing up.

[Richard Karn]

Isn't that crazy?

[Zach Amico]

I am. I am 37 goddamn years old and that is a little kid to me.

[Richard Karn]

You look at like MILF stars now, like, they're born like 1990 and oh, it hurts. It's like, whoa.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh yeah. Born in 2003.

[Richard Karn]

You're like, oh, yeah, there's.

[Zach Amico]

There's post nine, 11 mils.

[Joe Gorman]

I know, it's crazy.

[Richard Karn]

It's wild.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, I know some. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's nuts. I mean, people in where I grew up started having kids right out of high school. So, like, there's a couple, like my buddy who I play games with sometimes, he has like two active children, both in school.

[Richard Karn]

Isn't that crazy? Like, when you're gaming with somebody, you hear like their kids in the background and like, it's like, you never thought you'd see your dad being like a video gamer with his friends. It's wild.

[Joe Gorman]

Especially because we play Armor Reforger and there's like this map that you can download and get mods for where it's like Vietnam versus Americans. And like, you immediately joined the VI side and then you're just like, just being like, gi. Go down.

[Zach Amico]

Just full Charlie.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah, full Charlie in the trees. Just be like, Jordan Brown, die. We get him.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, these boots for walking. I'd be trying to bilk dudes for money and sucking their dicks. Yeah, that's how I play, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

You play with your mind. Yeah, everyone's sending out punji traps.

[Zach Amico]

I can't imagine my dad playing video. Like, it would be fucking crazy to imagine now. My. I was very anti video now. Did he play freecell and solitaire on the computer for eight hours a Day so he didn't have to talk to my mother.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes. That's a gentleman's game.

[Richard Karn]

It's different with. It's like, well, I spent. No, this is, like, a tool that I'm using. I just happen to be improving my skills with, like, using a mouse playing solitaire and stuff. Like, have those little justifications.

[Zach Amico]

I remember the saddest little. This is. This is a sad little Zach story.

[Richard Karn]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

So my parents take me down the shore, and my dad played the Centipede machine for, like, an hour. He was into it, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So that year for Christmas, I had PS2, so I bought my dad's Centipede. It was like a Atari collection.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

For Christmas.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And my dad just opens it on Christmas morning. Goes, you got me a video game. I guess you got yourself a Christmas present and threw it.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

And it's broken my heart ever since. It was such little Zach being like, I want you to play with me.

[Joe Gorman]

Connect with me, for the love of God.

[Zach Amico]

But, nope. None of. My dad only realized within the last year or two that I hate fishing.

[Richard Karn]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Because I talked about it on a podcast. He's like, I thought we were having fun.

[Richard Karn]

My dad felt the way about, like, Little League and catch and stuff. Like, I never wanted to play sports, but he was always like, you're gonna have a great time. And, like, it's like, well, there goes my fucking summer, dude.

[Zach Amico]

My dad told me once that fucking high school is the best four years of your life. Enjoy it. Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

It's like, get out.

[Joe Gorman]

Maybe your first best four years.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That's why my dad had to get sober when he turned 19.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Because you're having fun in fucking high school.

[Zach Amico]

You're having fun. I was busy doing shit.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

Worrying about your fucking future. Like, oh, God, I got to take tests and shit. Like, worried about all that shit that really is just so inconsequential in the long run.

[Zach Amico]

What did you. Did your parents make you do, like, any, like, stuff that you hated and they thought was my big. That my parents used to drive to Pennsylvania Dutch country on Sundays, which was, like, a hike. And so my mom could, like, look at trinkets.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, like, trinkets and, like, they have, like, model trains and shit up there.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Just dog.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The most. Nothing a little kid would have any interest in.

[Richard Karn]

Right?

[Joe Gorman]

No, I was like, I mean, it sucks because I'm like, I cannot relate at all. Like, my dad made video games when I grew up, so, like, cool, D. I know. So I feel bad you're just be like, walk up both hills. He fucking kicked me in the dick.

[Zach Amico]

Said this.

[Joe Gorman]

Video games are sinners. And I'm like, my dad bought me Halo 3, and it was the best day of my life.

[Richard Karn]

My dad invented a game, too.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

It was how red can I make your ass with my belt?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

And he was like, you do not.

[Zach Amico]

Want to see the sequel because there's no belt. They lose the belt in the sequel. It gets. It gets Wally.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

My dad would do that. Crack the belt fucking thing that.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Richard Karn]

Happy Father's Day, right?

[Zach Amico]

You would be like, yeah, I would get that one.

[Richard Karn]

It's like, damn. Why do you need to do. You intimidate a little kid that you tower over?

[Joe Gorman]

It's nuts to get, like, a belt for your dad for Father's Day and then basically handing him the weapon. You getting your ass.

[Zach Amico]

It's like forging a sword for him, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I know. For you to strike me down. No, but like, my dad, he spanked me one time, and then, like, I think we both looked at each other. We're like. We're above this.

[Richard Karn]

Damn. It literally hurt him more than it hurt you.

[Joe Gorman]

I know. You just, like, smacked me on the ass, and I'm just like, what are we doing here? Come on, Bell.

[Zach Amico]

I've told it. I told it on Story Wars. But when I was a little kid, I was running through the house, my underwear. My dad would. To kick me in the ass, and his big toe went up my butt.

[Richard Karn]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Like, full, full. I don't think. I don't think we could have done it again with practice, but it was. He went to kick me in the. I run through the house tighty whities. He does kick me in the ass, and his big welder toe just breaches. Fully breaches my boy ass.

[Joe Gorman]

Was it clipped? Nail clipped.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay.

[Richard Karn]

It wasn't a typical dad nail.

[Joe Gorman]

Dude. I was about to say.

[Zach Amico]

I'm like, breach. I mean, it was clean on the way in.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

Breeches fully. And there's a point in time and space where all four of my limbs are out.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

My arms are like, ah. And my legs are not on the floor.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I am fully suspended by my boy ass.

[Richard Karn]

Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

On a man's foot. It looked like he was spinning a basketball.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, dude. A globetrotters called him the next day.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. And I. I just. I. I cr. I cried like a. I was on the floor crying. And I remember my dad in the next room go to my mom. At least we know he's not a gotcha.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Udo, reverse card. I was crying because I just realized I was something I'm not.

[Zach Amico]

Never been a butt stuff guy in and around the butt. Maybe.

[Joe Gorman]

I. I don't.

[Zach Amico]

I like a little, oh, hey, how are you?

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But not anything in.

[Joe Gorman]

Girls are kind of weird with buttholes because they want to see them. Like, if you're dating someone, they. They'll try to, like, spread a cheek and catch a eye. Like a fucking winking eye at it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

But it's not. It's never good, man. My butthole has never been in pristine condition. Like, my. My girlfriend's gay friend recently told her that, like, he got his in balls waxed and he's like, it was the most painful thing, but I look so good. I'm just gonna keep doing it. I'm just like, you're out of your mind.

[Richard Karn]

It's different for a gay guy, though, because, like, you what an. For a gay man is like a. And you want, like a nice pristine boy, like, in appearance.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. You know, I've seen. I think I've seen more like, attractive, like, horse vaginas than like a man's ass.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's always hairy. It's always not good.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, well, you have. You only look at, like.

[Zach Amico]

That's why you. You need like, straight up, like, power bottom gay dude.

[Joe Gorman]

I need a who.

[Zach Amico]

Who. Like, they consider their diet.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Just be sure you go on an incognito window or your algorithm is going to be.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, no, it's all. It's already all fanboys. Yeah, but, I mean, I don't know what I'm googling. Besides penis made women. That's all I want to see.

[Zach Amico]

I. There's a. Have I told you about the sea salt scrub?

[Richard Karn]

No.

[Joe Gorman]

No.

[Zach Amico]

So I read an article, and in my mistake, I realized way too late that this article was a commercial.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Zach Amico]

And it was a review of a salt scrub for your behind. And it was for gay guy. And it was the guy's like, my boyfriend says, my assholes never tasted better.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's so clean. It's great. So dumb me looks at it and it's like 75 bucks. So I go, I'm just gonna buy regular sea salt scrub on Amazon for like eight bucks. Well, that's not made for your butt.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

And I learned hard and fast once I put all that rock salt up my ass.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That it burns. And it ended with me scooching in the bathtub.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, you're doing a little dog scrub.

[Zach Amico]

I was. I literally had one hand under my balls trying to cup water and shove it up my ass. I was like, ooh, ah, ah, ah, ee, ah, ooh.

[Joe Gorman]

Dude, you're like the. You're the Morton's girl. A little salt trail coming out of your ass. Dude, that's. That is a bad. I think you basically took that, like, lava hand soap that, like, people use doing, like, car work, and you put that directly on your. Which, I mean, commends to you. That's.

[Zach Amico]

When you say the lava soap, do you mean the. Because, dude, what was it? Oh, I think it had an X in it. The one in my dad's shop was in, like, a milk carton, and it was an orange sand.

[Joe Gorman]

It is an orange sandy soap thing that you put on in lather, and it just connects and it's like.

[Richard Karn]

Takes everything off.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, you'll take off your wedding drink. Dude, it's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

What's that called? I want to call it, like, box, wasn't it?

[Richard Karn]

I thought, like, one was called, like, hot lava or something.

[Zach Amico]

The lava soap's a little different. Lava soap, I feel, is like a liquid with grit. No, no, no, you're right. You're right, buddy.

[Shannon]

Is it the lava? Is that it?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, that's. That's not the one.

[Richard Karn]

That's the one I used as a kid.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that's the one my dad had.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

When he would work on the garage.

[Richard Karn]

And it's like a really tough.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was definitely a similar product. Ours was just like. It was a milk carton full of powder.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn. So you got the raw product?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Mix it with water. Yeah, that's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's move on. All right, let's keep it light. 13th woman found dead in New England woods.

[Joe Gorman]

Numbers even number one, the body.

[Zach Amico]

Count is always bigger. Fears mount as locals say a serial killer is targeting women across multiple states.

[Richard Karn]

Uh.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Joe Gorman]

Is that the four or have to be sliced and diced.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Gorman]

God damn.

[Richard Karn]

It's Jack the Ripper.

[Joe Gorman]

Is Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

Tell us about it. Well, he's kidding.

[Richard Karn]

All the black women.

[Joe Gorman]

He is.

[Shannon]

Do you want me to tell you or do I mean just to play this?

[Zach Amico]

Tell us a little and then play it.

[Shannon]

Okay, so we did talk about this recently when the body parts were found very close to Taylor Swift's home in Rhode Island.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, no.

[Shannon]

So this is now the 13th of these bodies. Cops are not saying that they're connecting like they're saying that there's not evidence that show that these will happen. Kind of in the same way, this most recent girl, they said that there was no sign of, like they can't tell yet how she died. Other ones have been dismembered, some were strangled. So we don't exactly know what's happening yet.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's see, let's see, let's see some news.

[Richard Karn]

Shannon shows the safety.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Richard Karn]

New England is facing a string of mysterious deaths. That's 13 unexplained cases since March. Why isn't this a bigger deal? On June 1, 21 year old Adriana Suazo's body was found in a wooded area just south of Boston. No obvious signs of trauma and the cause of death is still unknown. This is going to be an HBO miniseries.

[Joe Gorman]

Unexplained death still with the same Massachusetts.

[Richard Karn]

Connecticut, Rhode island and Maine since March.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Really? It looks like two be found in rivers or woods.

[Richard Karn]

Public fear is rising with many speculating about a possible serial killer. But police say there's no proof the cases are connected. They're investigating each one separately. See, if you were going to be a serial killer, if you make the killings just random, you'd probably get away with it because they don't. Oh, there's no pattern. And that, that's, that's. The pattern is like the anarchy, lack of pattern.

[Joe Gorman]

Have we considered since Dexter resurrection is coming back in July that this is all just promotional?

[Richard Karn]

That would be some wild gorilla market.

[Joe Gorman]

Wait, are these all serial killers and pedophiles that Dexter is just making the law, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. Like there's a marketing guy sitting, like, hear me out.

[Joe Gorman]

Hear me out.

[Zach Amico]

We got Dexter coming back.

[Joe Gorman]

I've got the ball rolling.

[Richard Karn]

Just tragic coincidence. What do you think is going on in New England? What is going on?

[Zach Amico]

Stop it. I. I think it's a trucker.

[Joe Gorman]

You think it's a trucker? I mean, like, it's following cert. It's on a root.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's a trucker, I think. And I think there's one or two that he's dumped to try and throw them off.

[Joe Gorman]

That's gotta stink up the cab, man, to just be.

[Zach Amico]

Have like throw her in the back.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, but you got Pepsi back there.

[Richard Karn]

They won't know.

[Joe Gorman]

You don't want to get all this dead body gook on goop on all this Pepsi.

[Zach Amico]

You can figure it out.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, you probably just keep it in like a bag or something.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, see? Yeah. See, I feel like. Yes.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, that's like a truck. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think it's a trucker.

[Richard Karn]

It has to be look at the, look at the path.

[Zach Amico]

And then he get. He like kind of like, all right, let me go drop one off in killing league. Try and keep.

[Richard Karn]

I bet he's based out of like New Jersey or something.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, he never goes to New York because can imagine bringing around your murder truck in New York City.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, this does look like the average comedian's dates.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It also killing.

[Zach Amico]

This is a series of one nighters where you have to drive a headliner around.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Going up like fucking like New Haven and Pawtucket and then Plymouth or.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's a weekend.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. There you go.

[Joe Gorman]

For real. I mean if you got a car, it's pretty. It's like at least like 500 bucks.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's. That's a decent week. That's a decent weekend of entertaining people who rather watch sports.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Richard Karn]

Get an awful tape from your phone. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah. Dude, that, that would. That's way less noble than being a serial killer.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. One of the, one of the murders happened in Killingly and do you think there's got to be a moment where this guy's like butchering this woman. He's like.

[Zach Amico]

How'S it going Killingly?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Where are you going next? Murderville, usa Stranglet. Oh, you're from Strangleton.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on, I got a dumper in Dead Black Lady Lake.

[Joe Gorman]

That one's a little on the nose. All right, Jefferson. Shouldn't have changed the name.

[Zach Amico]

That's how they identify her.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Oh, it's funny.

[Zach Amico]

All right, moving on. Australian woman on trial for mushroom murder of in laws since she was just trying to fix a bland lunch.

[Joe Gorman]

Ooh. Oh, damn. Were they psychedelic. Do they trip out and kill themselves maybe?

[Zach Amico]

No, they were poisoned.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

And I believe she's been caught doing this before. Shannon.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Okay, so this woman, first of all, she lied to her family members. She had her in laws over for lunch and she told them something about that she had cancer and that she was inviting them over to discuss it. And then spoiler alert, she actually doesn't have cancer. What she really wanted to talk to them about was getting weight loss surgery. So apparently she went through a bunch. She got a lot of pricey ingredients, consulted friends about recipes, and then she sent her friend, her kids out to a movie. And so it was just her in laws that were over four. All four of her guests were poisoned. Three of them died. One of them is in like critical condition still. She claims to have taken one small bite of it, but she didn't have the full Meal. And she went on to eat half a cake and got sick from eating the half of a cake.

[Joe Gorman]

What a fat surgery.

[Richard Karn]

That surgery's not gonna do anything, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Three bodies around you, your kids are going to see Mission impossible. You're just sitting there eating half.

[Zach Amico]

And how embarrassing is that? Everyone else in the house is dying of poison. And then you have to go, I ate too much cake.

[Joe Gorman]

I ate too much cake. My belly hurts.

[Richard Karn]

It happened again.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's sorry to call you guys again. Yeah, dude, I know I take on my face.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, quite literally, dude. She was getting money for weight loss surgery and then she ate a cake. Ate half a cake.

[Zach Amico]

Now am I wrong in that she's done something similar, Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yes, I remember reading that. I'm just trying to find that in the article.

[Joe Gorman]

This is not her first eating half a cake.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, definitely not. Yeah, this is not her first like poisoning.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, really?

[Zach Amico]

But so now there's new evidence saying that she just saw those mushrooms and thought it was a bad. Thought it was a way to spice up the meal.

[Shannon]

Yeah. And she said that she thought that these were dried mushrooms that she got from an Asian market, but it's possible that they got accidentally mixed in with some ones that she foraged, which. How does that happen?

[Joe Gorman]

Why are you forging foraging poisonous mushrooms? Like what's the point of having kill your in laws? True. That's like literally the only point of needing those in your house. Or you build up like the thing.

[Zach Amico]

I think what I remember, Shannon, is that she served them one meal and something else for herself.

[Shannon]

Yeah, well, maybe, maybe the cake.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

But she also afterwards she disposed of the dehydrator before she had a visit from child protection who were investigating her living arrangements. She also wiped her phones immediately after this happened because she was panicked during the police investigation.

[Zach Amico]

How much mushroom kill mom and dad?

[Shannon]

Yeah, she said. I was scared of the conversation that might flow about the meal and the dehydrator. I was scared they would blame me for it for making everyone sick. I was scared that they would remove the children.

[Joe Gorman]

How many calories in average cake? Divide by two. No. Can you imagine? I don't think she set out to eat that whole half cake. I think she just got a slice and she's like, one more slide.

[Zach Amico]

You know what?

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Between like the sugar rush and the rush of killing your in laws. How could you stop?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think she sat at the table?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, no, dude. She had that on a plate. She was walking around.

[Richard Karn]

Walking? Yeah, Dancing around.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, like the bill Cottage dad is great.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Mom in law's dad.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Gonna eat some cake.

[Zach Amico]

Give me some chocolate cake.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Hey. Yeah. She's dead. That's a murder. That's how that works.

[Richard Karn]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

Let's. Let's actually do something like, runaway pet zebra has been captured in Tennessee.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, let that guy go.

[Richard Karn]

Let him free. He doesn't free in Tennessee. They must suffer in there.

[Joe Gorman]

Probably.

[Zach Amico]

My only question is, did it talk like Chris Rock?

[Joe Gorman]

Drew, was there a group of three penguins around up to no good doing spy stuff?

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, tell us about it.

[Shannon]

I want to show you real quick the video of him being helicoptered.

[Joe Gorman]

That's how they should have done, like, the 11 guys who broke out of New Orleans jail. This helicopter up over, like, oh, look at that.

[Zach Amico]

What does he think is happening right now?

[Richard Karn]

He's chilling, man.

[Joe Gorman]

I know what he's thinking, dude. He's never been up that high in his life. Do not hit telephone lines. That would be sad.

[Richard Karn]

That's wild.

[Zach Amico]

There had to be people that just saw that.

[Richard Karn]

I guess it's probably like one of those situations where he probably can't return to the wild because he's lived his whole life in captivity. So it's not like, oh, you're saying.

[Zach Amico]

There'S not a lot of other zebras for him to hang out with in Tennessee.

[Joe Gorman]

They're all being racist to him.

[Richard Karn]

He wouldn't. He doesn't have the survival skills to live out in the wilderness.

[Joe Gorman]

True.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. He didn't have, like, a mom and dad zebra to teach him the ins and outs in the circle of life.

[Zach Amico]

Or how to make gum.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, true Fruit stripe.

[Zach Amico]

Did they say anything how he escaped, what the deal was?

[Shannon]

So it said that Ed. Ed is his name.

[Richard Karn]

Oh.

[Shannon]

Mr. Ed arrived in Christiana on May 30, and then his owner reported him missing the very next day. The zebra spotted and filmed running alongside. Alongside Eastern State 24, forcing deputies to shut down the roadway. But he escaped into the wooded area. There were several sightings posted. It took them a couple weeks to find him, but they got him. And now he is. They're putting him into a zoo.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, can you imagine just driving down the road like, is that a. Is that a zebra?

[Joe Gorman]

That used to happen in my old neighborhood. People get bizarre animals. I was driving to school one day and saw a full camel, like, walking down the street like a full camel. I'm like, we're in Arizona. It's arid climate. You could probably own a camel.

[Zach Amico]

It probably. See, if you're gonna own a camel that would be a good place.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Not regular camel places.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Yeah, but still, it's not as sandy like they're gonna be stepping on, but a lot of cactus to eat. They love cactus. It's funny.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think that. That. That zebra was just getting puss?

[Richard Karn]

Had to have been.

[Zach Amico]

There's zonkies, right?

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. He's gonna get puss when he goes to the fucking zoo. Are you kidding me? All the stories he has, no one's gonna believe him.

[Zach Amico]

I flew. Yeah, I flew here.

[Joe Gorman]

I was in a sack and I flew like a God.

[Zach Amico]

I escaped. I lived my life on the outside. Then they flew me back here to fuck all you zebra whores.

[Joe Gorman]

He's gonna be a cult leader, dude. We need to keep an eye on him. Someone locked down Zebra Sharon Tate.

[Zach Amico]

What? Other than you can make a zonkey? There's a zorse.

[Joe Gorman]

A Zorse?

[Zach Amico]

I believe so. That's a zebra horse.

[Joe Gorman]

I remember there was like.

[Zach Amico]

There's ligers.

[Joe Gorman]

There is ligers.

[Richard Karn]

And then there's one.

[Zach Amico]

Other hybrid animals are there. Shannon, this is you. We like talking about animals.

[Joe Gorman]

2. Anki. It's a toucan monkey.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think that's.

[Joe Gorman]

Nah, nah, nah. I'll show you. I'll show you. A guy in Harlem's got like, three.

[Zach Amico]

It's just a monkey with a beak.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, he hates it.

[Zach Amico]

Shan, do you have any hybrid animals?

[Shannon]

Yeah. So on top of the Liger, there is a Tigon.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

Tigon and Zion.

[Richard Karn]

It depends on, like, who the mother and who the father was to make it a liger or ion.

[Shannon]

Also a grizzly polar bear hybrid. A walphin.

[Joe Gorman]

A whale dolphin.

[Shannon]

Yep.

[Richard Karn]

Dolphins getting freaky, dude, because, like, there's no way a whale's on their intellect.

[Shannon]

Yeah, A jag lion.

[Richard Karn]

Well, that was.

[Zach Amico]

I bet that's just a jerky line. That's just a mean lion. Yeah, shut up, Jag lion.

[Shannon]

I think you said Z Donk.

[Zach Amico]

I did not.

[Shannon]

Okay, so that's.

[Zach Amico]

I said Zonky.

[Joe Gorman]

Which Zonky is a better name than Z Donk.

[Shannon]

A kama so llama. And a camel. A Kai wolf.

[Richard Karn]

That sounds scary.

[Shannon]

Wolf, dog, Pantera hybrid.

[Joe Gorman]

That's a. Yeah, that's just a band that just.

[Shannon]

It says anything within the mixture of tiger, lion, jaguar, leopard, snow leopard.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, it's gonna be so cool.

[Shannon]

Liliger. I guess. Let's see. The little liger is the hybrid offspring of a male lion and female. And a female liger. So male liger.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. Now we're just splitting hairs, though.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. They gotta get pretty bad, like, down syndrome.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Have you ever seen a. Like, animals with down syndrome?

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Retarded tigers are the best.

[Joe Gorman]

So funny.

[Zach Amico]

They look so.

[Joe Gorman]

I think that was the first thing I showed my girlfriend. We were on, like, a date. That really made her laugh very hard because she didn't think they were real.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, ye.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, retarded tiger. Tigers and lions, they're everywhere.

[Richard Karn]

Look at that guy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he does look friendly.

[Richard Karn]

He does look very friendly. Like, you could probably pet him.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I don't know, dude. He might freak out, Mary.

[Joe Gorman]

You'll think you're candy really quick, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you don't take his earmuffs, can you.

[Richard Karn]

The retarded lion, dude, that'd be.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

That's just a regular retarded guy.

[Richard Karn]

Finally representation in the animal. There's.

[Shannon]

I thought that my spirit moving in it.

[Zach Amico]

He's not retarded tiger.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Just an inbred retarded tiger.

[Joe Gorman]

What. What year of the Chinese New Year is retarded tiger?

[Richard Karn]

Oh, you very lucky man.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I've never seen before. Bon. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Your tongue very wide and your eyes very far apart. Dude, there's a super dope retard. No, I'll say Down syndrome because I put respect on this man's name. But strong and able on Instagram just sinks threes. That's all he does, Shannon. Any point on the court, you just sit there and he just tosses a ball, overhands it. Three all the time.

[Richard Karn]

That's cool.

[Joe Gorman]

No misses.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I guess if you got one, there's no reason you can't be just shooting for excellence.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, just. He's got to be just nailing something down, because that's how, like, a lot of, like, autistic guys are. They're just being like, I can point to north wherever I am, and people just nail shit down.

[Zach Amico]

So I thought you meant, like, the way they get a bear to ride a bicycle. Like, you nail them to it.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, definitely. You just nail their hands to a Rubik's Cube and wait till he figures it out.

[Zach Amico]

What was the Instagram again?

[Joe Gorman]

I think it's strong and able and able. Or strong and able. Let me look it up real quick.

[Richard Karn]

Enable.

[Joe Gorman]

Because this guy comes up in my favor. Feed often. And I love him very much. I think I just. Yeah, straight. There he is. There's my guy right there. Dude, Tyler. Tyler nails every shot he gets.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, he got to go to Disneyland.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Dude, that's where they live.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, let's see. Let's see if they have some shots.

[Joe Gorman]

Just plotting. Doesn't even matter. Try and block him. You can't. Dude, I think he's wearing a Sam Hyde shirt.

[Richard Karn]

What?

[Zach Amico]

I think he's wearing Sam Hyde's face.

[Richard Karn]

No, he's wearing his own face.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, look at that.

[Joe Gorman]

He's got his own swag on. That's so cool.

[Zach Amico]

This kid rules.

[Richard Karn]

Whoa.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he's back in some Asian.

[Joe Gorman]

They are friends. They did specify.

[Zach Amico]

Let's say that. Hell yeah, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Friendship friends.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, go to the one before that. Dude, that's cold. He's not even looking at her.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, I don't think he can.

[Joe Gorman]

He's got his putter up like a pimp cake.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. This guy rules. Good for him. Look at him.

[Joe Gorman]

I know. Yeah. D O, double G, D, O, double chromosome.

[Zach Amico]

That's exactly what I was gonna do.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh. Hanging out with Hooters ladies.

[Richard Karn]

Damn. More of those, like, born in, like, 2000, 2003 honeys, actually probably 2006.

[Zach Amico]

Is he in this?

[Joe Gorman]

I don't know. I think.

[Zach Amico]

No. I think he's just. This is my style.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. He's like, nah, this is what we at.

[Richard Karn]

This one goes on the main.

[Joe Gorman]

Can't block him. Are you kidding me? He's stepping in over the three point, over the half court line.

[Zach Amico]

That's wild. Good for this guy.

[Joe Gorman]

I could do that every time. Can you do it every time?

[Richard Karn]

Every time, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Also just post Hooters girls on your face.

[Richard Karn]

I choose not to. I choose not to. For both.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There's a Down syndrome guy that always posts him. Meeting wrestlers, they really. I'm jealous.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But then it's also him, like, getting 12 packs of beer at the store. I mean, you can't have both.

[Joe Gorman]

He's doing the.

[Zach Amico]

You don't get. You don't get to, like, do little kid, make a wish, I'm retarded stuff.

[Richard Karn]

And then live.

[Zach Amico]

And then, like, go get some brews.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

With your boys. Like, you gotta pick one, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Nah, some. Some of them.

[Zach Amico]

Because if you. If you're. If you're athlete or a famous person and like, hey, we want you to meet this special needs kid, you know? Yeah. And he's like. Is he drunk?

[Joe Gorman]

Could you tell, though?

[Zach Amico]

He's very eloquent.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Yeah. What if it fixes him just 12 natty ices deep? And he's like, sir, I would like another.

[Zach Amico]

No, he's just. Dude, that he. It makes me wonder, like, Is he pulling one on us?

[Richard Karn]

Maybe.

[Zach Amico]

So it's like he's got the face.

[Richard Karn]

The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing everyone he wasn't retarded.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I feel like if you got the face, you got the face. Yeah, but still, like, there's levels. And if you can have a few beers with the boys, I don't know if you need to be meeting Seth Rollins.

[Joe Gorman]

Dude, that's the best move of all time because you're never driving. No one's ever like, hey, who's going to drive home from the bar? You're like, well, it's obviously not Eddie. Yeah. Because first off, he's loaded. And also, just second of all, we're.

[Zach Amico]

Going to put him on the roof like Teen Wolf.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, after 12 brews, he only puts his head out the sunroof and that's how we drive around.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no. He puts his head out the side with his tongue out.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's so cute. He licked a stop sign.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our good friends at Small Batch Cigar. Simple, fast, small batch guys. They have free shipping on every order with almost every order coming within two to three days in the continental United States. They come in the Boveda humidity pack that's included with every purchase. And they have the most thorough packaging in the industry with an amazing selection of rare, limited and hard to find cigars. Guys, having cigars in the house, it's the same as having a nice bottle of wine or something else. Nice cheese, some something to offer people that lets them know you are one classy individual. And there's a lot of uncertainty right now with tariffs and stuff like that. But Small Batch is making your dollar stretch even further with their current offer because one of them has a free cigar that essentially makes their code worth 21% off. And there's always free shipping plus 5% rewards points that never expire. From now until June 15th, every order over 150 bucks that uses the code GAS10 will receive a free cigar with at least a 16 value. No matter how much you order, you're going to get 10% off free shipping and 5% rewards points to spend at the time of your choosing. So do me a big favor. A lot of people go to the website, they click the new button first to shop their newest arrivals. And his discount code, gas 10 for 10 off plus 5% rewards points immediately. With our good friends at small batch cigar.com, let's get back into the show. What do we got? Here.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, what the hell?

[Joe Gorman]

He's getting laced up.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

No, actually, no. He's flipping his toenails.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, whatever. Just my bitch taking care of me.

[Joe Gorman]

I got an in house Asian who'd come do my toes.

[Zach Amico]

I shoot tweeze and I get my toes quipped. All right. Dakota Johnson. I went apeshit on my friend's ex. Literally. Tell us about it. Shannon.

[Shannon]

So she mailed a gallon of gorilla poop to her friend's ex. She talks about a little bit in this article. I don't know if you care, but they do. Okay. It's. It's a little bit long.

[Zach Amico]

That's right. We'll get through it.

[Shannon]

Okay, let's see. They're lie detecting her.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, so this was on skags called Hollywood royalty.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, she got some work done.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I probably would.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Is that why you named your production company Tea Time Pictures?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Shannon]

Why did you name it Tea Time Pictures?

[Richard Karn]

Because I.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe a little bit. Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

I didn't start the company though. I just like. Were you happy that Ellen's career was ruined because you called her out for.

[Shannon]

Being a one of your love interests in materialists? Is he more of a zaddy than this love interest?

[Richard Karn]

A what? Zaddy.

[Zach Amico]

Zaddy Z A D D Y. Where's the girl?

[Shannon]

Hold on, I'm trying to find it.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Once had a band called folky Porn.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

This is more interesting than that.

[Zach Amico]

This is much better. Yes.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Is it true that you met Riley in the parking lot of an In N Out Burger?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Oh, is that a common meeting place for Hollywood? Sorry, I feel like we're never gonna find. I can skim past it in the meantime.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah, but I. I did. I did find the. The website that she went to.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see what kind of. We can see.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. What can we stand? My God, there's got to be like different kinds of primates.

[Zach Amico]

I want to send that guy cuz it doesn't stink very.

[Joe Gorman]

Dude, I. I got sent dog once after a girl and I broke up. But the thing is, was it like.

[Zach Amico]

In a box or was it from a service?

[Joe Gorman]

It was in a box. It was from Amazon. And the thing is you can just. Someone bought it. It was like, oh, let's send it to him as a gift. So it's like nicely wrapped. But what you don't know is you can send them a thank you letter and it just says the first. First name of the person who sent it to you. So immediately he showed me her best friend's name. And then I sent a photo of it. I'm like, yo, I didn't even open this. I'm like, you had no effect on me. I don't know why you wasted your money, but it's now in the trash.

[Richard Karn]

Ooh, poop senders.

[Zach Amico]

Poop senders. All right. Much like crank anchors, elephant poop, cow dung. So was this real or is this an ad for this company? Combo. The combo pack.

[Joe Gorman]

You can get a combo platter.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. Poo poo platter.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, a little surf and turf.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, a little bit of everything.

[Zach Amico]

Elephant gorilla.

[Richard Karn]

I mean, is it like fresh or is it like freeze dried?

[Joe Gorman]

No, they can't send it fresh. Dude, are you kidding me?

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, it seeped through the like a seal proof bag. So you have to like, what the.

[Joe Gorman]

Hell is Space Vac?

[Shannon]

And across the country, that's kind of testimonials.

[Zach Amico]

Sure.

[Richard Karn]

Delicious.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, Phoenix, Arizona. This might be me.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, read that. Read that. One sham, but read. Put on the sexy music.

[Richard Karn]

I don't think this is real.

[Joe Gorman]

I don't think they are either. This is like a word for us.

[Shannon]

I was passed over for promotion at work about a month ago for a young single girl with half my experience by a boss half my age. He's the know it all type. She's a big flirt. This has been bothering me ever since it happened. Once I found your site, I wasted no time in ordering the biggest pile of I could get. I was so satisfied to see him open that overnight envelope in view of about six other employees. That big bag of cow hit his desk. Everyone that saw it got a big giggle at his expense while his face turned red. Thanks, poop senders. You're right. Revenge is sweet. I don't know that it's real.

[Richard Karn]

It's like, yeah, it sounds like an everybody clapped type scenario.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, it just seemed. I bet there you. It's like a manure site, right?

[Richard Karn]

Probably.

[Zach Amico]

And they just have like underlying. I'm sure there's a place that just has gorillas. They're like, hey, I guess you want to buy our shit.

[Joe Gorman]

This is a guy who works at the zoo.

[Richard Karn]

But that might even like upset the delicate balance of nature to release that foreign shit on American soil. Like, American soil is.

[Zach Amico]

You're assuming these are out of country foreign fucking gorillas. No, I bet they're in a native.

[Richard Karn]

The native American gorillas.

[Zach Amico]

The shipping would be too much. There's zoo gorillas. They're from here.

[Joe Gorman]

They got to be zoo gorillas born and raised. And there's got to Be some weirdo lining his pockets with cow or zebra shit.

[Zach Amico]

So he wears like jankos to work every day.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. He's got a skateboard down one leg.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He's got a PS. He's got an N64 in the back pocket.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Just fills his Jankos with. With duty.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Just gorilla shit up to his knees.

[Shannon]

That's got to be in the frequently asked questions. It says, is it real poop? And it says only the mad scientist that packs this stu back room knows for sure. And he wouldn't tell us. But we do know this. It smells really bad. He is mixing up. And he does visit local dairy farm and zoo about twice a week. We also don't want the delivery company to actually know what kind of they're delivering. We're going to show you. It looks nasty and really stinks. It will get the point across to your intended victim.

[Richard Karn]

So it's.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, so it's. Or it is. It's just manure.

[Richard Karn]

It's probably like something like that or like something like where it's like a loophole where it can be shipped. Because it's probably like a biohazard to ship actual shit. But if it's marketed as like. Yeah, like a fertilizer or you know, like synthetic something or another.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. People order like food service. Like if you got factor meals, like prepackaged meals, and it's right next to the like package of prank elephant shit. I would be pretty pissed. I'm like, I don't want those things even in the same room.

[Richard Karn]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

I would have said liger shit. I would. Said liger. I would say retarded tiger.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Lego pieces in it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Bits of paint.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Army men.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Just a Lego sword is in, in there. I, I just, I. I can imagine.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I feel like you could almost depending on the Muslimness of the person, if you sent them enough fertilizer, you could probably get them on a list.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

That'd be crazy. Instead of like Dakota Johnson just being like, yeah, so we went and shipped him pipe bomb stuff. And you know, I went on a vpn.

[Zach Amico]

It's just women are so stitches, so I can't. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking send you.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All the ingredients to make a pipe bomb.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

No, I remote downloaded 3 terabytes of child pornography onto your work computer.

[Zach Amico]

Women. Women write cheater on your fucking truck.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Men will get you swatted.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Guys will make sure you can't run for public office anymore. That's. I know. I can't Imagine just being like, oh, my God, we poured paint all over his car. Just being like, I planted three kilos of fentanyl in the backseat of your truck is like, have fun in Tijuana.

[Zach Amico]

I gave your son Brock a piece of the plant that he's alert. That's gonna kill him.

[Joe Gorman]

We're just quoting Breaking Bad.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That was a good revenge.

[Richard Karn]

That was an awesome revenge.

[Joe Gorman]

The ricin, it was crazy.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Average penis size has increased, and Ozempic could be to blame. I hate this.

[Joe Gorman]

Burn the world down.

[Zach Amico]

I hate every part of this story. Shannon, tell us about it.

[Richard Karn]

Please say. Please say three and a half inches, right?

[Shannon]

So it says the average penis has grown nearly 10% from. This is the UK, though. Have you told my penis from 5.17 inches to 5.6 63 inches between 2022 and 2024.

[Zach Amico]

And so that also be an influx of immigrants.

[Joe Gorman]

That is true. That is true.

[Richard Karn]

All the refugees.

[Zach Amico]

All those goddamn immigrants.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, refugee.

[Richard Karn]

Stop. Stop messing up our metrics here.

[Zach Amico]

The refugee unit.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's got a machete, too.

[Shannon]

It also is that Venezuelan men increased a massive increase. Wait, this can't be real. I'm just gonna read it. The data also revealed that Venezuelan men experienced a massive increase from 1.42 inches to 6.67 inches within those two years.

[Richard Karn]

They must have been measuring like. They must have changed their way of measuring.

[Shannon]

That's crazy.

[Richard Karn]

They must have measured it soft before, and then the second one was like, okay, now everyone do it hard.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

There's no way a can grow like 5 inches naturally in that time span. It's not.

[Shannon]

It also does say that overall, according to World's. World Journal of Men's Health, the average size of guys penises in the past 30 years has grown 24. So they're saying that could be in relation to like. Like pesticides, stuff in the food, whatever. But the past two years is where it's really.

[Zach Amico]

These are size queens.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Men are just lying about the size of their. Like, I measured from the edge of my. To the tip of my dick and back.

[Joe Gorman]

I usually go from the hairline on the back of my head.

[Zach Amico]

Around the back, up the ass crack.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Use it as. Just mummify myself with tape.

[Richard Karn]

I just take the length of my leg and divide by two.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

The size of my dick.

[Joe Gorman]

No, I can't. I mean, it's funny for Venezuela to be like, oh, we were measuring wrong. It's actually six inches. And then you go to, like, China. They're like, Us too.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Sorry, China, we're bad at math.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, this is what we fucked up on. We fired that guy. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, did we. Did we ever order the clip pump?

[Shannon]

Yes, it was ordered.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if it.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, happy birthday.

[Shannon]

Karen's not here, but if you want, I can go skim next door real quick and see if it's here. I mean, it was ordered last week. Yeah, let me text her.

[Zach Amico]

Give it a. Give it a. Give it a whirl. I mean, it's your birthday.

[Shannon]

Hold on, let me go look up here.

[Joe Gorman]

We're not Howard Stern. We don't have a Sibian for you, but.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, we've discussed it.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it shows. They're like. They're like 1500 bucks, I think a low end one.

[Richard Karn]

That's a nice tax write off.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's a business expense.

[Zach Amico]

No, what I think. I think would be funny to do the old Stern simian bit, but dude, comics. Yeah, because, like, you can just sit on, like. You don't have to put the dildo up your butt.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, you have to, though.

[Joe Gorman]

No, no.

[Zach Amico]

So when like WWE chicks would do it, they would just sit on the thing without the. Because there's a dick attachment. But you can just sit on it.

[Joe Gorman]

Did they ever use the dick attachment in studio.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, porn stars would do it.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Richard Karn]

That's wild.

[Zach Amico]

But I think we should just have guy comedians have to answer trivia and be funny.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that should be your kill. Tony. One minute set. Yeah, the entire time, Phil.

[Zach Amico]

Tony.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I bet someone has.

[Shannon]

Karen isn't here, but. So somebody has to get. Pick it up from the post office.

[Zach Amico]

We'll do it another day.

[Shannon]

Yeah, Ralph said he'll go get it tomorrow.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm not in a rush. Tell him no rush whatsoever. Are you going to give it a whirlwind?

[Shannon]

No, it wasn't the. Oh, right. The thing I'm thinking of was the. The cramp machine thing that you said I would be able to put onto you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm fine with that.

[Shannon]

I. I don't think so.

[Zach Amico]

No. You don't want to. You don't want to get a rocking clip.

[Joe Gorman]

No, I bet we can.

[Zach Amico]

You don't want to take clit pick. It's your birthday.

[Joe Gorman]

500 psi.

[Zach Amico]

So we. We bought a. It's the pump we bought, right?

[Shannon]

Yeah. And it does nipples and clips.

[Zach Amico]

So it's a pump. Oh, I mean, we got to pump my nipple.

[Shannon]

Yeah, That'll be.

[Zach Amico]

Does it work on, man? I'm sure it Works.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Richard Karn]

We have nipples as nipples.

[Zach Amico]

You built me, Greg.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I mean, let's, let's.

[Zach Amico]

But it's. It's a clip pump so you can get that. Get some blood in that thing.

[Richard Karn]

There you go.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, Bring it back to the deodorant.

[Zach Amico]

Come on, Shannon. You don't want to get engorged.

[Shannon]

Yeah, okay.

[Joe Gorman]

You don't want to be inflamed.

[Zach Amico]

You could just walk in with a fat and start slapping people with it.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my God. That's got to be so nasty.

[Zach Amico]

Lewis would be so mad he left the show. Now you're running around with your big gorilla cl. Shannon's just a monster. Shannon just sexually harassing Shannon. Just bending dudes over and clitting them up the butt.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Using it to put stamps on stuff. Just sealing envelopes with it.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, we'll keep it updated. Let's end on. Oh, you know what? I'll look at this. So you guys hear about the Enhanced Games?

[Joe Gorman]

I have heard about this.

[Richard Karn]

For Switch two.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no. So it's essentially.

[Joe Gorman]

It's silly.

[Zach Amico]

No. But hey, it could be.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I just did download Switch Sports and there you go. Pretty goddamn good.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I missed my Frisbee. That was. That was the solid Frisbee. And baseball I miss a lot, but still fun. So they're doing basically an Olympics type thing, but no drug testing.

[Richard Karn]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

If a doctor puts you on, you don't get disqualified for. If a doctor's got you on it. Okay, so essentially it's going to be the. How far can we go with this?

[Richard Karn]

Oh, it's. That's wild.

[Zach Amico]

And we have some before and after pictures of the athletes who are going to be competing.

[Richard Karn]

They're going to look. They don't really. Won't look anything remotely human.

[Zach Amico]

So, Shannon, let's check it out when we got a mo.

[Richard Karn]

That's fucking crazy.

[Joe Gorman]

Hell, yeah, dude.

[Richard Karn]

Enhanced Games.

[Joe Gorman]

Fuck the body God gave you. Let's put stuff in it.

[Zach Amico]

The thing is, he's jacked there.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Imagine being better or worse for swimming, though, that.

[Richard Karn]

I mean, it's true. Because, like, look at Michael Phelps.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, the guy's got fucking wings. Like, it's crazy. Like, his back just.

[Zach Amico]

That's like a man array.

[Richard Karn]

That's like.

[Joe Gorman]

That's what he's going for.

[Richard Karn]

It's just. It's crazy to have, like, that body. But then by athletic standards, like, not. Not enough, and he has to. That's crazy. But that's, like, cute. He looks like a bodybuilder in the second one.

[Zach Amico]

That he's his. The. That under. What is that your lats? Like.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, like the Damn. Maybe I should get on the Enhanced Games. That'd be great. I just don't exercise though. I just take the steroids.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Special enhanced.

[Richard Karn]

Just like straight Java the Hut by the.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Just have back knee and lose your hair.

[Zach Amico]

Now you're just. Now you're just completely bought. You have a skull. It's Paul Heyman's haircut.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, I got like a skull. It did.

[Zach Amico]

You have a skull and a big hard belly.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Your heart's three sizes too big.

[Richard Karn]

My arms are just like all tiny. My legs are shrivelled.

[Zach Amico]

I have tiny balls, a big stomach and no hair.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Like, my intestines are completely swollen.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's like, what are you here for? You're like. I'm commentating.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Is there any more? It was just that guy.

[Shannon]

It was just that one. But I also did see that on the Enhanced Games Twitter, it said that the first world record has been broken so far and the first million dollar check has been awarded and it was to the fastest swimmer in history. Christian can't pronounce the last name. It's the 50 meter free world record. One word in 20.89 seconds.

[Richard Karn]

Damn.

[Shannon]

And I have a little bit of them swimming and is it still a.

[Zach Amico]

World record even though they're saying they're on?

[Shannon]

I guess. I guess. I don't know about that.

[Richard Karn]

It's probably like a special one. Like it's gonna be like its own category of like enhanced this and that. Well, the color combat sports will be cool.

[Zach Amico]

No, there's no.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, really?

[Zach Amico]

It's only single stuff.

[Richard Karn]

Oh, that. What's the point?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Richard Karn]

That's. That's essentially what I look like.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's Joe popping up out of the water.

[Richard Karn]

That's just me.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much me popping out of the same thing.

[Richard Karn]

Why is he wasting his time?

[Joe Gorman]

You go to 90. 92nd Street. Why? I'm crushing laps.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like this is the natural response to trans athletes. Athletes.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Where like you guys can pump yourself up with whatever. Okay. Game on.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If it's all doctor prescribed, I don't see the big deal.

[Richard Karn]

Powerlifting. Are they going to do powerlifting type. That's probably gonna be. That's gonna be wild.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Those guys just turn into one big muscle.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Because like, I mean like even like the natural, if you want to call it that, like they're like pulling like trucks and buses and.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So have you ever seen The Shannon. Could you look up Mark Henry's record breaking lift? It's a. It's a single barbell on the ground. He does it in a hotel conference room.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It is the craziest lift.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You got to see this. And he makes no, by the way, massive, man.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

In person. But still, this doesn't make sense. Shannon, you show to him.

[Shannon]

Is this it, do you think?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

So no one ever in history, I think, could do this.

[Joe Gorman]

Is approximately two and a half inches in diameter. Jesus Christ.

[Zach Amico]

Imagine making him mad.

[Joe Gorman]

He'll just pick you over your head and rip you in half. It makes it very, very hard to lift.

[Richard Karn]

He's not even wearing, like, lifting shoes. He's wearing like.

[Zach Amico]

He's wearing Timberlands.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And he's wearing, like, heavy denim jeans, man.

[Zach Amico]

I'll do it within a year.

[Richard Karn]

You got a lot of world records in you.

[Zach Amico]

A lot of things. Big, scary bed.

[Richard Karn]

It's wild.

[Zach Amico]

I understand tonight's going to be the second attempt. Tonight will be the second one. It's a challenge.

[Joe Gorman]

One arm, 140 pounds.

[Richard Karn]

That's insane.

[Zach Amico]

Who even got that thing? That's all the one.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. What the.

[Richard Karn]

Imagine they probably had to have, like a moving crew come in.

[Joe Gorman]

How heavy your luggage is.

[Zach Amico]

This is the one I'm thinking of. Thank you. Shannon.

[Joe Gorman]

Just drops it in those two old white guys. Laughs afterwards.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Like, you know what a pain in the ass that was to get there.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Jesus Christ. This is a little get outy.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, look at this fine specimen. Look how.

[Joe Gorman]

All right, now the bidding starts at 140,000. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The strongest one we've ever made.

[Joe Gorman]

It does seem very exploitative.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's because it's just a hotel conference room full of where, like, where we would perform.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Except there were people there.

[Richard Karn]

He's like. People actually showed up.

[Joe Gorman]

That was well attended.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. They were cheering. They were happy to be there.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No one regretted their decision.

[Richard Karn]

Yeah. Nobody feels tricked.

[Joe Gorman]

Wait, this isn't a Narconics Anonymous meeting. What's going on?

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I. Somebody reposted maybe the funniest sitcom clip of our childhood or like adolescence when Norm thinks He's going to AA. Do you know? Yeah, yeah.

[Richard Karn]

And the Norm McDonald show where he. And he's like, going off about that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then. Wait, wait. Do you know the reveal?

[Joe Gorman]

No, I don't know this.

[Zach Amico]

Jack. Can you look up Norm MacDonald AA meeting sitcom. It is such a funny. And the fact that this was like.

[Richard Karn]

It was on abc.

[Zach Amico]

Ab fucking apparently when they pitched the dorm show, he wanted to be a recurring character and not the star of the show. That's. He wanted it to be about everyone but him, which is very funny.

[Joe Gorman]

So, yeah, that's great.

[Zach Amico]

But if Chad, you could look at it. This is such a fun. It'd be a fun thing to end on today.

[Shannon]

Does this look like it's it?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

To understand how your actions affect the people around you. Oh, I see we have someone new joining us this week.

[Zach Amico]

Would you like to start first?

[Joe Gorman]

Well, I just want to say that.

[Richard Karn]

I used to think that I was better than you people, you know, and.

[Zach Amico]

Then something happened to me recently where I realized that I have a problem because something I did really hurt my brother.

[Richard Karn]

So I just want to say that.

[Zach Amico]

I have an addiction too, and I need help. Hi, my name is Tony and I.

[Joe Gorman]

Haven'T had sex with a dead person.

[Zach Amico]

In over two weeks. This is a Gambler's Anonymous. It must be down the hall. I just want to say something. Remember earlier when I said I. I wasn't better than you people?

[Richard Karn]

I am. I'm better than you people.

[Zach Amico]

Now I'm going to leave, all right? And if I should happen to die on the hallway to stay the hell away from him. So funny. What a fucking legend. All right, thank you guys so much for tuning in. Really appreciate it. Happy birthday again, Shannon. The best in the business and a really great friend to everybody here. Gas and we're all really lucky to have you. We love you very much, sweetheart.

[Shannon]

Thank you, guys.

[Zach Amico]

All right, thank you guys so much for tuning in. We'll see you this Wednesday and then another Friday exclusive episode here on Gas Digital. This is the morning zoo saying bye bye noon is morning time to him papa.

[Richard Karn]

Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's a Miko morning suit. It's acamiko morning too.