0019. Mike Rainey and Scott Chaplain

Summary

Summary of "The Luis and Zac Show" Episode 0019: Mike Rainey and Scott Chaplain

Release Date: December 15, 2024

Hosts: Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico from GaS Digital Network

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1. Introduction and Initial Banter (00:01 - 03:25)

The episode kicks off with a brief, humorous nod to Audible's best-of-2024 selections before transitioning into the dynamic and irreverent banter characteristic of Luis and Zac. Luis introduces himself as the "Puerto Rican Rattlesnake," emphasizing his bold and unfiltered approach, while Zac is portrayed as the "lovable psycho" with a twisted sense of humor. Their exchange is filled with playful insults and references to their personalities and past projects, setting a lively and chaotic tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Luis Gomez (01:39): "What's up, boys? Wednesday, hump day. What's up? It's your boy L. Gomez, Puerto Rican rattlesnake, king of things..."

2. Car Troubles and Rants About Audis (02:18 - 26:27)

Luis delves into his recent automotive woes, recounting a minor fender bender involving his $25,000 Audi. He expresses frustration over the high repair costs, particularly highlighting the exorbitant price of Audi headlights. The conversation shifts to a broader critique of luxury cars, with Luis advocating for more affordable and reliable alternatives. Zac and Scott join in with their own perspectives on car choices, discussing brands like Deftones and Corn.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis Gomez (22:35): "If I knew then what I know now, which is that I am a bad driver, I wouldn't have gotten a crazy expensive luxury automobile."
• Mike Rainey (22:52): "What year is it?"

3. Sexual Discussions: "Eating Ass" and Relationships (07:03 - 57:13)

A substantial portion of the episode centers around explicit sexual topics, particularly focusing on the practice of "eating ass." Luis candidly shares his experiences and invites listeners to participate in the discussion through the "573 gas line." The hosts debate the implications of such sexual preferences, intertwining humor and provocative language. This segment includes anecdotes about past relationships, sexual encounters, and personal reflections on sexuality.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis Gomez (07:03): "Have you had your asshole eaten? Yeah, yeah, that's how I get my arms, my shoulders going."
• Mike Rainey (06:55): "It's like a type of massage."

4. Caller Interactions and Contest for Wedding Dates (14:07 - 37:42)

Listeners engage with the show through calls managed by a moderator named Shannon. The primary focus is a contest to find dates for Colin Turles's wedding, with participants like Mike Rainey and Scott Chaplain vying for the spot. The hosts entertain the audience with humorous evaluations of the callers, blending mock competition with light-hearted teasing. This segment showcases the interactive and community-driven aspect of the podcast.

Notable Quote:

• Luis Gomez (27:01): "You know what? Let's do it. So I'm doing. I got invited to Colin Turles wedding and I don't have a date for it."

5. Discussion on Health Care and CEO Violence (37:42 - 72:01)

The conversation shifts to a controversial topic involving a character named Luigi Mangione, who allegedly committed murder as a protest against the healthcare system's failings. Luis and Zac debate whether Mangione should be viewed as a hero or merely a privileged individual acting out of madness. They critique the societal perception of CEOs and insurance companies, discussing the broader implications of such violent actions on public sentiment and healthcare reform.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis Gomez (57:11): "This guy's not like some fucking... He's not a hero. He's a fucking lunatic."
• Zach Amico (73:35): "If you're going to murder somebody, fine, right?"

6. Reflections on Public Outbursts and Personal Experiences (72:01 - 89:18)

Luis shares personal anecdotes about losing his temper in public, particularly in customer service scenarios. He recounts incidents at places like delis and McDonald's where he became highly agitated over perceived wrongs. The hosts discuss triggers for such outbursts, reflecting on the importance of managing anger and the consequences of public rants. This segment highlights their vulnerability and personal growth over the years.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis Gomez (85:00): "I get mad... It's happening a lot with crimes, like crimes of passion."
• Mike Rainey (85:04): "You have to ask the boss."

7. Wrap-Up and Closing Remarks (89:18 - 93:00)

In the concluding segment, the hosts briefly touch on lighter topics, such as massages and humorous takes on aging. They maintain their signature irreverent humor, engaging in playful banter about personal grooming and social interactions. The episode ends with a blend of amusement and reflection, staying true to the show's chaotic and unapologetic energy.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis Gomez (88:56): "Maybe I'll get a massage today."
• Scott Chaplin (93:00): "You can't spoil them."

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Conclusion

Episode 0019 of "The Luis and Zac Show" offers a rollercoaster of explicit discussions, personal anecdotes, and provocative debates, all delivered with the hosts' trademark fearless and unapologetic comedic style. From car troubles and sexual banter to intense discussions on societal issues, the episode encapsulates the wild and energetic spirit that defines the podcast. Listeners are treated to a blend of humor, controversy, and candid conversations, making it a memorable installment for fans seeking raw and unfiltered content.

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Note: This summary captures the essence and key moments of the episode while maintaining a neutral tone. Explicit language and sensitive topics discussed in the show are presented contextually to ensure compliance with content guidelines.

Transcript

[Lewis Gomez]

Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Discover the year's top audiobooks, podcasts and originals in all your favorite genres, from memoirs and sci fi to mysteries and thrillers. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment, like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 heartfelt memoirs like Supreme Court justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's Lovely One. The year's best fiction, like the Women by Kristin Hannah and Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com imagine and discover all the years best waiting for you. Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zach Amico. Red dot, headshot. Eat a snipe. But a Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper and it came to attack. Spilling crack on the track. Spin straight back to the baby boy who is in.

[Zach Amico]

Zach.

[Lewis Gomez]

What's up, boys? Wednesday, hump day. What's up? It's your boy L. Gomez, Puerto Rican rattlesnake, king of things, coming at you like Cleopatra in your mama's butt cheeks with the international superstar Zach Amico.

[Scott Chaplin]

Feeling good on a shitty, shitty Wednesday.

[Lewis Gomez]

What a shitty day. Dude, it's pouring rain. There's traffic. It was traffic from my door to this door. Non stop, non stop. Also, Jorge, I'm going to need the gun clock on the Lewis and Zach board. That's one of my biggest sound effects. Like when I got something locked and loaded, it should be on there. You're going to make me run.

[Zach Amico]

All the gun sounds are together with each other.

[Lewis Gomez]

You're gonna. You're gonna ruin. Gun clock gunfire. He's on fire. Gun up. No, that's the old one. That's. That's the real ass podcast. Gun Clock 1.

[Scott Chaplin]

Gun Cock.

[Lewis Gomez]

Gun cock. That's why you put guncock and I don't. I can't read gay words.

[Scott Chaplin]

But, you know, you don't clock a gun. You.

[Lewis Gomez]

I clock mine. I can't say gay words. It's like a thing about me that I can't. I'm colorblind to gay, you know, I'm saying sometimes I do gay shit because I don't realize, you know, like, people have like that where their nerve endings don't work, their nerve endings don't work and they can't feel pain. So it's like they'll fall downstairs and break their ankles and they never know. Sometimes I'm stuck at a dick and because I'm so colorblind to gay shit, I don't even realize gay shit's happening in my life.

[Scott Chaplin]

You just think you're sucking a clock.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yep. Welcome to the show. Incredible show. Even though we're starting nearly a goddamn half hour late, we're gonna have an incredible show today. Two white guests bringing it back to the old school. Because I'm an old fool who's so cool. Dad, meet little stinkers. You love those shows. We got Mike Rainey on the show.

[Mike Rainey]

Thanks for having me.

[Zach Amico]

Feels good to be on an all white podcast.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, yeah, dude. Fucking doing, man. White power. It's all good. I'm half. I'm. I'm halfway. All right.

[Scott Chaplin]

That good half.

[Lewis Gomez]

Also from his podcast, out for smokes, the great Scott Chaplin back on the show.

[Mike Rainey]

What up? What up?

[Lewis Gomez]

Sup, kid?

[Mike Rainey]

How you feeling, man?

[Lewis Gomez]

Feeling, man.

[Mike Rainey]

Dude, you look like you lost 15 pounds. Hot dog.

[Lewis Gomez]

If you guys want to hear about my fitness journey and lost 15 pounds.

[Scott Chaplin]

But still looks like a hot dog.

[Lewis Gomez]

If you guys want to hear about my fitness journey and all of my self help horseshit, I don't keep it on this show. We don't talk about it on this show. I've decided we were moving that off of the comedy podcast. Comedy podcasts are designed to be funny. You guys can subscribe to my email list though. Go to louisofs skanks.com Brand new Lewis Journal coming out this Friday. Going to go over all the that I'm doing to get back in shape. And I'm getting it. It's getting wild, dude. It's getting funky and it's getting wild.

[Zach Amico]

Just so you know, sucking dick apart of it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, yeah, that's how I get my arms, my shoulders going. So yeah, it's pretty good. Welcome to the show, boys. I'm in a. I'm in a better mood than I should be. I should be in a horrific mood.

[Zach Amico]

You got your tickets, man?

[Lewis Gomez]

I got my tickets, first of all. Got my tickets. Going to see System of a Down in Corn. Happy Christmas, Zach.

[Scott Chaplin]

Thank you very much. It's very generous of you.

[Lewis Gomez]

My gift for Zach. Zach's coming as well. If you guys want to see. Me and Zach will be in GA at MetLife Stadium. Whole crew of people going to see a System of down in Incubus. Not Incubus. Corn. I wish it was Incubus. I've seen System of Down An Incubus together multiple times.

[Mike Rainey]

If Corn goes last, would you leave early?

[Scott Chaplin]

There's no way.

[Lewis Gomez]

And they won't. So Corn's opening a system of announced tourists. Deftones are doing some of the dates. Corn's doing some of the dates. And some other band.

[Scott Chaplin]

Gojira.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, John Hly. It was whoever. Whoever. I think Ari in a box and pretended it was Seven Hold. I think it's Avenge Seven Fold. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're going to be opening as well, but System. Yeah, we.

[Scott Chaplin]

Well, no, Deftones are great.

[Lewis Gomez]

Deftones would have been the one. Corn is fine. I've seen Corn live a couple times. They're. They're fun. I know. I hate on Corn, but the reality is they're pretty. A pretty fun band. Especially for like nostalgia purposes. You throw on some of that old music from when we were in high school and like the first couple years of college. That still thumps.

[Zach Amico]

The first time I ate my wife's. I had a corn fitted hat on.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow.

[Scott Chaplin]

And you were listening to Lincoln park on the PlayStation.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Scott Chaplin]

I just read that status out loud to my wife the other day.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, man, it's. I still get emotional when I think.

[Lewis Gomez]

First time a girl ate my butt, I had pieces of corn in my. And I felt bad because I was like, that's fine.

[Scott Chaplin]

And if I'm not wrong, it was on her grandfather floor.

[Lewis Gomez]

It was. Yeah. I did have a girl eat my. Somewhat recently.

[Zach Amico]

What were you playing in the background like this season?

[Lewis Gomez]

This?

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, it was seasoned.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, this. She was like straight up. She like was sucking my dick and then she went down to my balls and she was like. She looked at me, she went, I'm sorry, I really like this. And just went to town on my ass. And I was like, you guys started kicking my legs like a baby.

[Scott Chaplin]

It really is the hardest part. The hardest part of getting your ass eaten is not giggling.

[Lewis Gomez]

I would love to. I. Look, I might be a secret fag because I love getting my ass eaten. I gotta be honest with you guys. I mean, is it gay to get your eating and enjoy it? 573 gas line please give us a call, let us know your opinions on this.

[Mike Rainey]

It's like a type of massage.

[Lewis Gomez]

I agree. Get your played with a little bit. As I'm getting older and more comfortable with my sexuality, I'm down with a little bit of butt play on both ends.

[Zach Amico]

I think it depends what you do with your legs. Like if you put your ankles behind your head.

[Lewis Gomez]

Depends. Yeah. Joke. Yes. Yes, Rainey, I know what you did there. Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you, brother.

[Lewis Gomez]

I got excited.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you.

[Lewis Gomez]

Depends. Get it? Of course he's got it. Let's see. Diggy sews in the race. Live chat says literally gay. Okay.

[Mike Rainey]

No, it's not literally gay, though.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's literally not gay.

[Mike Rainey]

Literally not gay. It's something, but.

[Lewis Gomez]

Have you had your asshole eaten? Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

You like?

[Mike Rainey]

You look like you pointed at someone behind me, Right?

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, you. So you have had your asshole and you enjoyed it. Yeah. Phenomenal.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I guess it was.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Of like. Yeah, it's a nice change of pace. Phenomenal.

[Scott Chaplin]

It's not an everyday thing if you eat Zach's asshole.

[Lewis Gomez]

You are in love with this man. Nobody's just eating Zach's asshole for the fun of the game.

[Zach Amico]

No, you're going to come up with a cleft lip.

[Shannon]

I have a caller on the line.

[Lewis Gomez]

Louis, you're at 573 gas line. We opened the lines. We're back on to having phone calls, which is really nice. Good. What's your name? Where you calling from? This is Fat Shizna. How you like them big tits and fat dicks? Fat Shizna. What's up, doggy? Not much. Not much. I have some information on getting your ass eaten. If you're. If you're a chick and you let any man eat your ass, that means you're down. That means you're awesome. That means everything is on the table. Butt stuff, throat fucker. Everything's good if she lets you eat her ass. Now, if a guy lets a girl eat his ass, two things. One, he is a disgusting, disturbing pig who wants to feel power. And two, okay, she is not wife material. Dump her after she eats you. Great point. Thank you very much, sir. You just want a free corn fitted hat courtesy of Mike Rainey. Stay on the line. They're gonna get you that corn fitted hat as soon as possible. It. Look, you're. You're right about that. I will say, if a girl eats your ass, it's. It's a. It's a slippery slope here, folks, because if a girl, she does it right. If a girl eats my ass, I'm gonna. Probably. Unless I've suggested it, and I would never suggest it. Right. I'm dog whistling to the sluts that listen to the show right now. Eat my ass. But I will never marry you. You're not going to be wifey material. You're the girl that eats ass.

[Mike Rainey]

What if you're, like, in a relationship and then she eats your ass? You're saying, like, you Hook up and then she eats your ass. That is.

[Lewis Gomez]

Then I would call it a relationship. I would call it relationship if she were to eat my ass. That's a Dane Cook joke actually. He says that's a. That's an old Dane Cook joke. I just realized that I just actually stole. It wasn't even that. I just like said the words. I heard him say it a day ago. Me and my son and my 87 year old aunt for some reason are on a Dane Cook journey right now. We're watching all old Dane Cook. My son and my. My 87 year old aunt loves Dane Cook. She can't stop giggling at Dane Cook. It is hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

I get it, man.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Now what if. What if a girl had never eaten ass before but she chose to make you her first and only right?

[Lewis Gomez]

I guess there's some nuance here. I guess there's a little bit of nuance here. But if I. If I go down on a girl, I'm eating her ass every goddamn time.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

There's no not eating her ass. Are you out of your mind? Who doesn't eat ass?

[Scott Chaplin]

It's like getting a hotel room with two beds and only sleeping in the one.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, exactly. You have one bed for. To mess up the first night. This next bed the next night.

[Scott Chaplin]

One bed is for masturbating and eating chicken wings and one bed is for sleeping.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. So do you not eat the girl's ass every time you go down?

[Mike Rainey]

Not every time.

[Lewis Gomez]

No.

[Mike Rainey]

No. No.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow.

[Mike Rainey]

No. Now that I'm hearing this and you're all agreeing, I. I think here's.

[Scott Chaplin]

I think this is a good distinction. Ready? Distinction.

[Lewis Gomez]

You piece of. You son of a.

[Scott Chaplin]

If a girl eats your ass on the first date, that's not wifey material.

[Lewis Gomez]

If a girl me on the first date, it's not wifey material. I was just talking to a chick about this yesterday on the phone and she's like, I really like this guy and we hooked up and I was like, oh, that's cool. She's like, I really like him though. And I was like, how many times you hang out with him before you him? She was like, oh, it was the first time. I was like, oh yeah, you're a pig to him now. You're a pig. I will a girl on the. I'll try to a girl on the first date. I. My last girlfriend, dude, we. We went out first date, went got sushi. We had a great time. It was like, oh, can I walk you home? Or I, you know, I, I drove or took An Uber. And then walked her door. Can I walk you to your door? The whole plan was to manipulate my way in between her legs 100%. And she fought me off. She was like, no, no, no. We made out a little bit in the hallway. I was drunk. I accidentally grabbed her shirt out of her hand.

[Mike Rainey]

Excuse.

[Lewis Gomez]

I pulled her tits out by accident. It was genuinely an accident. I really mean this. And she was like, oh. And then she made me go away. And I was like, that is wifey material. She did not accept my aggressive advances.

[Zach Amico]

Now if she gave in on the second date, would that still be in play? The wifey issue?

[Lewis Gomez]

You want it to be the third date? Okay. Third date is sort of ego. Like, this girl's not a pig. Third date, second date. It's fine. I mean, I'm pretty irresistible. So just so you know. Do you eat ass? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I've only eaten one and it's the lady. I'm still with you.

[Lewis Gomez]

But every time you go down there, do you go to town or ask. Yes, yes. It's.

[Zach Amico]

It's part of the plate.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Maybe it's you, Scott. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's. It's. Yeah, it's you. What happens if you. If you bend her over, you start eating her from behind? You gotta.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, sure, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

I. I go and. But you still have to treat it like you're. You're cleaning up a baby. You got to go front to back. You don't. Yeah. You can't put her legs up and lick her ass and then go to her. You gotta. Just so you know. 573 gas line do you eat ass every time you eat pussy? I want to know. You could win a corn fitted hat on today's show. It's a big deal, folks.

[Zach Amico]

I've got a hundred of them.

[Lewis Gomez]

You got a hundred corn fitted hats. Anyway, lots of fun stuff to talk about. Shannon, we have a contest submission already. Should we start going over them already as they come in?

[Shannon]

If you. If you want to. It's just one so far.

[Lewis Gomez]

You know what? Let's. Let's do it. So I'm doing. I got invited to column Turles wedding and I don't have a date for it. I'm not dating anybody. And last time I was single, when I got invited to a wedding, we did a contest on the Real Ass podcast called the Cont Test. And we had a bunch of girls submit to try to become my date to Maddie Jester Skull's wedding. It was great. I. I had A great time. Ivanka won. Shout out to Ivanka. Hot Mexican broad from California came out, showed up, ate her butt. Just kidding. Maybe. And it was a great time. It was a good time for all Shannon. This time it's column Charles wedding, which is a way higher profile wedding.

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Lewis Gomez]

This is a big deal.

[Shannon]

Yep. So here's your first submission.

[Lewis Gomez]

Let's see.

[Mike Rainey]

Yo, what up?

[Lewis Gomez]

It's a guy. Shannon, can we make sure this is very. I mean, this guy better be pulling his younger sister onto camera in a moment and being like, my sister really wants to go, by the way. You can do that. If you pimp me out, your sister or family members, I might get an extra plate at that wedding for you.

[Scott Chaplin]

I don't like that this guy looks like our son.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Up, Lewis. What's up, doggy?

[Zach Amico]

Zack, amigo.

[Lewis Gomez]

My name's Scott. I'm from West Hartford, Connecticut. Reason I'm sending this video is because I want to come and be your.

[Mike Rainey]

Plus one at columns wedding.

[Lewis Gomez]

I didn't actually say it has to be a woman. Long ago in Hartford and absolutely loved him. I got to hang out with them for just briefly. And the reason why I think you.

[Mike Rainey]

Should pick me for the come test or whatever the fuck you want to call it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Do you say come test?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

He misunderstood what I said.

[Mike Rainey]

Whatever the fuck you want to call. It's like you're begging to go to a dude.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, dude. You're trying to be a man's date to a wedding.

[Mike Rainey]

You have contest that's a little gay. But anyway, I would love to meet column.

[Scott Chaplin]

I would have this guy wait just to ruin columns day.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm pretty chill. I smoke too. I love to hang out too. I mean, come on. We're both. We're both brown. Look at us. Look at us, bro. Come on. And we're both single. Both single fathers, you know, stop eating or drink some water. So we're gonna get down some from Monday to Domingo, my guy. So he wants. So he wants to do. He wants to do like a wedding crasher sort of thing, which is the thing that people actually do, right? People try to get late at weddings. I've never hooked up with a girl at a wedding. I've also never gone to a wedding single. I've always gone to a wedding with a date. But maybe that's not a bad plan. You go with this other Latino, we start, you know, flirting with the bridesmaids, get them hammered, make it a whole thing. Bridesmaids want to get at a wedding. Bridesmaids want to Get. Shannon, have you ever been a bridesmaid at a wedding?

[Shannon]

Yes, I have.

[Lewis Gomez]

Did you want to get? You want to get? No.

[Shannon]

It's a lot of work to be a bridesmaid. Like you're. You're there from so early in the morning. Pictures, a whole bunch of things.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, but all work and no play makes Shannon something, something Shannon. But could it. Was there a path to a man courting you at a wedding? Possibly. Hot enough guy, cool enough guy loves in the air.

[Shannon]

I don't. I don't think to have sex that night in particular.

[Lewis Gomez]

Do you try to. Shannon, do you try to catch the bouquet like a loser? Those are loser women.

[Shannon]

I did catch the bouquet.

[Lewis Gomez]

You did catch the bouquet. What happened? There was bad luck for you, Shannon.

[Shannon]

I guess so, yeah. Jinxed me.

[Lewis Gomez]

You should not have done that.

[Scott Chaplin]

All the flowers just wilted like Beauty and the Beast.

[Shannon]

Oh, by the way, I do feel like you shouldn't pick this guy because of the mouth noises.

[Lewis Gomez]

The mouth noises was ridiculous, by the way. That's apparently an actual, like disorder that if you don't like the sound of other people eating, if it really bothers you, that apparently should look up what.

[Shannon]

That I know what it is because I have it. It's misophonia.

[Lewis Gomez]

What is it called?

[Shannon]

Misophonia. Misophonia. And it's the. The aversion to certain sounds.

[Lewis Gomez]

Misophonia sounds like she'd be like the, you know, Miss America for some shitty country and she's actually a catcher. My dollar tree.

[Scott Chaplin]

Misophonia.

[Zach Amico]

Have you gone on your break yet? You know, Goodwill? I ain't been on a damn break yet, Jeff.

[Lewis Gomez]

Misophonia, you know, you got to take a 30 minute break every day. You know, I'd be going to a.

[Zach Amico]

Wedding this afternoon, so fuck a break. I'm taking a four hour break.

[Lewis Gomez]

Jeff.

[Scott Chaplin]

Sales tax is six cents.

[Lewis Gomez]

Misophonia. So, yeah, so that's the thing that people do you do you guys hate the sounds of people eating?

[Zach Amico]

I don't even think about it. I think the one thing that I severely dislike is just people talking on speakerphone.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, really?

[Zach Amico]

That's the phone?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think that's the only sound I dislike that comes to mind right away.

[Lewis Gomez]

I talk on speakerphone a lot.

[Zach Amico]

On the bus?

[Lewis Gomez]

No, not on the bus. I wouldn't. I. I realized I used to do it in Ubers a lot and then I read a thing like a Reddit thread where Uber drivers were giving reasons why they would one star somebody and talking on Speakerphone or playing music on your phone is one of the reasons. And then I stopped talking on speakerphone and Ubers because then I realized, I guess it's kind of obnoxious, but not really. Like, you work for me. Like, I'm the boss here. For once in my life, I get to be a CEO in the back of an Uber. That's the way that I feel every time I take an Uber, I'm like, I'm a powerful CEO. Let's go.

[Zach Amico]

Well, your defense, too. Most Uber drivers are screaming into a Bluetooth to somebody in Africa.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yes, that's also true. That's crazy. If an Uber driver gets on a phone call.

[Zach Amico]

It'S never chill.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, I don't care if it's chill. Don't take a phone call while you're. You don't need to talk to your baby mama while you're driving me somewhere. If they get a phone call, what I do is I pick up my phone and I get on a loud phone call, and I just try to drown them out to make it really annoying for their phone call. I'll pretend somebody's on the phone. Then there's got to be somebody on the phone.

[Scott Chaplin]

Do you ever ask the Uber driver, is it cool if I take a call real quick? Because that's what I do.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's crazy.

[Scott Chaplin]

I go, hey, I want to make a phone call.

[Lewis Gomez]

You're asking for permission from your employee. That's psychotic.

[Scott Chaplin]

I just try to do it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Jenna, can I have a sip of my coffee right now? What the type of is this?

[Scott Chaplin]

I go, hey, it's cool. I'm gonna make a phone call real quick. And they usually are cool about it. I think that's the difference between just.

[Zach Amico]

But are you I speakerphone when you do?

[Scott Chaplin]

No, no, I have headphones in.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's crazy that you would ask permission to make a phone call.

[Scott Chaplin]

I think it's polite.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's not polite. I disagree completely. I think that that is. You are being cucked by an Uber driver.

[Scott Chaplin]

That sounds fun, too. I will talk about women's asses with the Uber driver. A lot. If you see a fat ass. Yeah, I'll be. Hey, check it out. Usually they're pretty pumped on it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Mando for supporting today's show. We love Mando Whole Body Deodorant. Not just for your armpits anymore, folks. This is deodorant made for everywhere. Your grundle, your balls, your belly button, your butt crack, every stinky crevice or stomach fold that you might have. And also your feet. If you never deodorize your feet, my friend, you're missing out.

[Scott Chaplin]

As a stinky man, I absolutely adore Mando. Whenever I'm on the road, stuck in the car for a while, I use those wipes. They really make a big difference. Mando's products are aluminum free, baking soda free, cruelty free, dye free, and vegan. And clinically proven to control odor better than a shower with soap alone. And we have a great deal for.

[Lewis Gomez]

You guys, an amazing deal for this holiday season. If you want to try Mando out and really get the idea of what they offer, I highly suggest their starter pack, which includes solid stick deodorant, cream deodorant, and then two products of your choice, like the mini body wash or the deodorant wipes, which are true lifesavers. Especially today, I'm staying in the city all day. I have multiple shows in between shows. You don't really always have time to run and take a shower or do whatever. You got to do a little bit of ball wipe. You smell good, you feel good. Nothing's better than Mando. Shopmando.com is the website. That's shop man do. And yeah, if you guys go there, use the promo code La Z. You're gonna save 40. That's $5 off their starter pack. With that exclusive code, once again, go to shopmando.com, use that promo code LA Z to save five bucks off their starter pack. All right, where were we? So listen, this is why I am. I should be in a bad mood. I should be in an awful mood. And in a weird way, I'm just not. I don't know what it is. You know, maybe my anxiety is going away. Maybe I'm just being a little more chill in life. Who knows?

[Zach Amico]

Did you get some?

[Lewis Gomez]

I say be getting dog got his ass ate, but that's not the point. What? No, I actually, I crashed my Audi a couple weeks ago and I finally, I finally put it into the. The shop.

[Zach Amico]

Is it more of an innie now?

[Lewis Gomez]

It's not bad. I crashed my Audi you in a corn hat. And I really, what I did was I busted one of the headlights and the hood. It kind of went up a little bit in the front end. And I was like, all right, this sucks. But it's, you know what I would describe as a minor fender bender. Minor fender bender, nothing crazy. You know, the back of the other guy's car was just like a little like. It was like he Had a truck. So my was. I finally put it into the body shop on Friday. They called me yesterday, the insurance person, to let me know that my car. I'm getting angry as I'm gonna say this is totaled. Pissing me off. But I'm not losing my mind. I'm more annoyed that I have to go through the process of getting a new car, but I feel like that car had a lot of bad juju.

[Mike Rainey]

What year is it?

[Lewis Gomez]

A lot of bad.2 juice. It was big giant Dave.

[Scott Chaplin]

When you drove Dave around.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, bad juju. It was. What you say, what year was it? 2019 or 2020.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, that's a newer car. So you'll get money towards something else.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, no, not really. Not really.

[Mike Rainey]

I had a total loss and yeah, they just told me to go fuck myself.

[Lewis Gomez]

I had a total loss and what I. The car was worth essentially $25,000. The damages were essentially $21,000. And it was close enough to the worth of the car that they consider that a total loss. Wow. So that's that.

[Zach Amico]

What do you do next?

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, but I. I had also owed like $20,000 left on the loan. So essentially they're paying off the. Oh, that's what was the disconnect. They're paying off the loan. Well, no, I'm not mad because. Well, no, now I have to. If I'm gonna get a new car, I have to get a new loan, go through the process, gonna go against my credit. And I'm trying to. I'm doing a few things behind the scenes right now. I need to clear out debt right now. I'm clearing out debt. And that's so. I think the reason why I'm not mad is because I went through the mental gymnastics already and I was like, you know what? Honestly, that debt is cleared now. Which is what I wanted to do. I wanted. I was going to just pay it off altogether because I wanted to clear it. And then that car, like it. I. Dude, I was in so many little accidents with it. And I know it's me, I know it's me, but at the same time, I feel like maybe just a fresh start. Not a German engineered car, by the way. 21 000. It's crazy. If you see the car, you're like, how is it possible? It's because each headlight is $4,000, $8,000 just for the headlights. Insanity. And then it's all computers on the inside. It's all this. So they have to recalibrate. It's. It's a wild amount of money. I will never get another Audi again. It makes me sad. But I'm coming back to cheap cars, folks.

[Zach Amico]

You never had that kind of issue with other cars you've had.

[Lewis Gomez]

I didn't really have any other cars. I had. I had like shitty cars when I was 16, 17. I moved to New York City when I was 19, didn't have a car the entire time. I moved to the suburbs and the first car I got, like, like an idiot, was a $70,000 Audi. Like a fool. And if I know. If I knew then what I know now, which is that I am a bad driver.

[Scott Chaplin]

That's the Audi.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, here we go. I'm smoking weed now. If I. If I knew then what I know now, which is that I am a bad driver, I wouldn't have gotten a crazy expensive luxury automobile. I would have gotten like, I've still got a nice car. I'll get like an Acura or a. Like, I don't know what's a good. What's a good car that looks nice, but it's reliable. But if I crash it, it's not going to cost me thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars to fix the parts.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if they still make them, but when I was at the height of my wigger phase, I had a Chrysler 300.

[Lewis Gomez]

Chrysler 300.

[Zach Amico]

It's nice, it's fairly inexpensive, and to somebody like me, it looks like a car that a prince would drive.

[Lewis Gomez]

Chrysler 300? Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's. It's like a. There you go. It's like a. An Italian pop or.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, it's like the poor man's Cadillac. Yeah, poor man's Cadillac. What about a Cadillac? Is a Cadillac cheap to repair? That'd be fun. A Cadillac.

[Scott Chaplin]

More of a Pontiac.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh yeah? What about one of those? Ooh, Shannon, can I get like a muscle car type thing, you know, what do they call them? Like a Ford or a Dodge? A Dodge Charger.

[Scott Chaplin]

It's going to be so expensive, dude.

[Lewis Gomez]

This Dodge Charger, expensive fix. No, dude, it's American.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I think all those cars, like all those guys who own them are in debt, right?

[Lewis Gomez]

Why?

[Mike Rainey]

I don't know. Cuz they cost a lot.

[Lewis Gomez]

Am I wrong? 573 gas line. Do you know anything about cars? My friends are pansies here. What car should I get next? I'm going. I'm not. I'm not financing it. I'm keeping my debt clear. I'm going to buy it cash. I'm going to buy it used. All that noise all that noise. I don't need any of that. I have plenty of time to go buy luxury automobiles later on in my life when I'm so successful that I want to just take it around for a spin in my cool Porsche or whatever. That's not what this is. This is a hoopdy to drive in and out of the city. I'm going to crash into things. I'm going to fucking rub the fucking rims on the fucking curb. This is what I am. This is who I am. This is who I'm always going to be.

[Zach Amico]

Have you had ever any at any point considered having a driver?

[Lewis Gomez]

Nope. That would be too expensive.

[Shannon]

We have a caller.

[Lewis Gomez]

Louis, please. 573.

[Shannon]

Gas line should be there.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yes, I have some vehicle advice for Lewis. Hey, what's going on? You're on the Lewis and Zach show. What's your name? Where you calling from? This is Brian from Texas. Brian from Texas, like, you gotta get yourself a pickup truck. You gotta get yourself a. What are you gonna say?

[Scott Chaplin]

It's gonna be a pickup truck, 25ft of rope.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm gonna tell you the problem with buying a truck. As soon as you have a truck, somebody's gonna ask you to haul something. So what you want? You go get you a big ass Tahoe or something. Or a Suburban, you got a kid, you can run into, people get out of the way, put a little list on it. Look a little aggressive, they'll get out of your way. Doggy. A Suburban or a Tahoe. That sounds good. What type of cars are those? Yeah, well, thank you very much. You just won yourself version of the Escalade. I love it. You just want a corn fitted hat, courtesy of Mike Rainey. Guys, make sure if you're to sue anybody for these false contests, it's Mike Rainey directly. Thank you very much.

[Scott Chaplin]

They make corn military hats.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they do. It's like when you sign up, they ask, are you ready to make the commitment? And then you sign up.

[Lewis Gomez]

And they're for colonels.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's not a bad idea. Maybe a big sort of truck. Right? But I also don't. I want to buy it. Cash. I want to just.

[Mike Rainey]

You're not bad at driving. You need just something that can. Like that's not gonna kill someone if you hit them, you know, Prius need like a bump.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, I'm not getting a Prius. That might have fucking you like you're.

[Mike Rainey]

You scare me when you drive. Does he scare you when he drives?

[Scott Chaplin]

Yes.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, I get so scared and then I feel like the. Yeah. I feel like a bitch cuz I'm holding on to things and I'm putting my.

[Lewis Gomez]

Scott uses that like nobody uses the handle.

[Scott Chaplin]

Handle. The whole.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, the thing you put like.

[Lewis Gomez]

Hang a suit on it back door. Mr. Gomez, nobody fucking uses the handle.

[Scott Chaplin]

I hold on to it for dear life. But it's also because and I understand I'm a large man to have in the car. Louis manages to collide with all four seats. Everything he does his. No matter what seat you are in the car, Lewis will punch you by accident.

[Lewis Gomez]

Zach, you know you.

[Scott Chaplin]

You're very expressive.

[Lewis Gomez]

You are when Zach. When people driving by they think that fucking the airbags that's the finish Lewis is its. Oh this riding ride with baymax.

[Shannon]

Another.

[Lewis Gomez]

Caller 573 gas line. What type of car should I get? Do you know anything about cars? I know nothing about cars. I'm a little bit of a chick when it comes to all this stuff. The idea is I want something safe. I want something that looks kind of cool but something that if I crash it or get into any accidents it's not gonna kill me. Also because I'm probably only gonna get like the cheapest insurance. My insurance was so expensive and now that I've totaled the car, I can't even imagine what they're going to try to charge me for insurance. So now I'm gonna have to pay like a year of insurance up front and I'm not gonna get it where they I can fix my car. I'm just gonna get it to where they fix other people's cars. Liability they call it. Right? I'm gonna get that. Is that a good idea or is that a bad idea?

[Zach Amico]

I know nothing.

[Lewis Gomez]

I want to pay out of pocket for these parts when I crash my car.

[Scott Chaplin]

Lose. You have an excellent liability.

[Lewis Gomez]

Go ahead. Lewis. This is Rob Rose from the racist live chat. Hell yeah, dude. Okay, well you need. I got two words for you. Panther platform. Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Grand Marquis. Lincoln Town Car.

[Scott Chaplin]

That's way more than two words.

[Lewis Gomez]

What is he saying? They are tanks. These are tanks. These are different. What type of car is a Panther platform? What are you saying? Yes. Lincoln Town Car. That's what you want.

[Scott Chaplin]

You want an old Lincoln Town Car.

[Lewis Gomez]

You want me to look like a livery. A livery cab driver. That's what you want me to look like? You want people at the airport to come and put their luggage on top of my car? Trust me, dude, they are unkillable cars. Lincoln Town Car. That's. Yeah, but that's also Big. It's like a boat. Yeah. Comfy. What if I get an old stretch limo? How sick would that be, dude? Like a fucking 88 like Lincoln. Exactly it. Shannon's got it. That's it. That's what you want. Thank you very much. Thanks for calling, my friend. You just won a corn fitted cap courtesy of Mike Rainey and his family. A lot of people.

[Scott Chaplin]

If Lewis had a limo, I feel like he would have the limo driver hat and then park and then jump in the back and change it out.

[Lewis Gomez]

Put a different jacket on.

[Scott Chaplin]

Thanks, Jeeves. Keep it running, Louis.

[Lewis Gomez]

Jeeves Gomez. Shannon, what do you think? Shannon, what do you think my solution is here?

[Shannon]

I like the idea of an SUV.

[Lewis Gomez]

Like an SUV?

[Shannon]

Some sort of like American made SUV.

[Lewis Gomez]

American made SUV. How much is like a 2019, 2018. $25,000 is the fucking listing price of my car. What a waste. What a waste. How is it? How did it go down so much in value? I thought for sure it'd be worth like 35, 40k. Why get all your holiday decorations delivered through Instacart? Because maybe you only bought two wreaths but have 12 windows. Or maybe your toddler got very eager with the advent calendar. Or maybe the inflatable snowman didn't make it through the snowstorm. Or maybe the twinkle lights aren't twinkling. Whatever the reason, this season Instacart's here for hosts and their whole holiday haul. Get decorations from the Home Depot, CVS and more through Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. Are you struggling to close deals? Cold outreach is wasting the time of both the buyer and seller at every stage. Especially when sellers are using shallow and outdated data.

[Zach Amico]

Your organization can overcome these challenges with.

[Lewis Gomez]

Technology that translates comprehensive high quality buyer data into real time insights. These deeper insights empower sales reps and teams to adopt the habits of top performers which leads to better outcomes like more pipeline, higher win rates and larger deals.

[Scott Chaplin]

We call this deep sales and we've.

[Lewis Gomez]

Built the first deep sales platform with the next generation of LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Right now you can try LinkedIn Sales Navigator and get a 60 day free [e-mail] trial.

[Zach Amico]

That's LinkedIn.com trial for a 60 day free trial.

[Lewis Gomez]

Let LinkedIn Sales Navigator help you sell.

[Scott Chaplin]

Like a superstar today.

[Lewis Gomez]

Just go to LinkedIn.com trial and get started. Did you know that you can make your life saving donation to Doctors Without Borders go even further?

[Zach Amico]

Whether you donate stock, recommend a grant.

[Lewis Gomez]

Through your donor advised fund. Or make an ira Qualified charitable distribution. You can take advantage of strong market performance this year to maximize your charitable impact, making it possible for Doctors Without Borders to stay ready to respond in more than 70 countries around the world. Together, we go further explore ways to [e-mail] podcast. Shannon, if I wanted to get a 2018 Escalade, let's just get crazy. 2018 Escalade.

[Scott Chaplin]

You can keep them not Puerto Rican for about.

[Lewis Gomez]

Let's go, let's see what does that cost me? That'd be fun, dude. And then I also want to get like, like big wheel trucks on it. Like the tires. Like one of those monster trucks is.

[Scott Chaplin]

Between 75 grand and 98 grand.

[Lewis Gomez]

A 28? A 2018. No, this. Shannon, stop with the AI overview horseshit. That's not what people are selling them for now. That's like when you bought it new at the time.

[Scott Chaplin]

Okay, I'm looking at 30 grand a used.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yes. 33 with a range of 21 to 40. That's not that bad.

[Zach Amico]

That seems like exactly what you need.

[Lewis Gomez]

Loose a two door Bronco says Sneaky Yalpaka Broncos are cool.

[Scott Chaplin]

Is that the OJ car?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, the OJ car Broncos have coming back though. They're like getting old school Broncos and like decking them out with like cool paint jobs and cool wheels. That's like a thing that people do. Maybe that's the way to do it. Just buy like a cool muscle car and just spend time decking it out, get a new hobby. What about like a 2018, 2019 Dodge Charger or what's the other. Mustang is the better one, right?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know, Scott. What do you know?

[Scott Chaplin]

I know nothing about cars.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

I keep picturing cool motorcycles.

[Lewis Gomez]

You could do. A Dodge Charger would be sick. Look at that. Dude, look at this. A 20 cent cold call. 1390, 95. Click on that right now. Shannon.

[Mike Rainey]

2016.

[Lewis Gomez]

Take my credit card. Buy that. That's sick.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, that thing's sick.

[Lewis Gomez]

What? That actually looks cooler than my Audi. Why did I waste so much money on an Audi? I'm livid right now. I'm pissed. 13, 9, 95. There's 100,000 miles on it. That looks pretty good to me, dude, right there. That's. That's a sick car. You roll up with that. Nobody. Women are stupid as. First of all, it's not like. It's not like women are being like, oh my God, that's a 26 month. No, they're. Yeah, you're gonna be like, yo, look at my car. Boom. Boom.

[Zach Amico]

Shiny.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, shiny. Pretty. Nice. Nice interior, smells nice. I am a fool.

[Zach Amico]

Do you have like a time frame where you're going to get this next car and just run it into the ground before you go for the one that you want?

[Lewis Gomez]

No, my goal now is to get another car. And no, I haven't thought about this. I have no goal with it. I just, I want, I'm. I'm looking at a couple different pieces of property right now and I need to have all of my debt like gone. I need all my debt to be cleared. I need to. Yeah. So I don't want to finance another car right now. It's. I actually feel I'm going, yes. Another $25,000 in my deck. Gone. Right. I can just buy something cash and that's that. And then in a few years I'm gonna level up. I'm gonna do my. You know, I'd like to think that one day I'll be rich enough that I could have a garage with multiple nice cars and all that, but that's not where I'm at. I probably could. Other Puerto Ricans that were in my financial situation probably would have a garage with multiple cars right now because Puerto Ricans are fucking stupid.

[Zach Amico]

You might have outgrown being Puerto Rican.

[Lewis Gomez]

You think so he evolved.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. I think he's getting to the point because there's no way that any self respected Puerto Rican would be having this conversation right now. He would just get another out.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, but isn't self respecting Puerto Rican like jumbo shrimp? Like.

[Lewis Gomez]

Dude. Yeah. I mean, look, a part of me wants to just go back into the dealership and get a quiet black guy audi, an Audi S6, just, just tear ass out of there. Crash it right away. I won't do, I won't do another German engineered car. That's crazy. $4,000 for a headlight insanity.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, man.

[Mike Rainey]

You should just borrow a car. I feel like that's what you really.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm renting a car right now. It is to rent the car. It's cheaper than what I was paying for my car. And, and my insurance. Right.

[Mike Rainey]

Unquestionably insurance is covering the rent.

[Lewis Gomez]

The rentals covered. I, I get insurance through my rental. Okay. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It kind of makes you wonder how far we'd get with the whole Supreme Race thing if the Nazis had won World War II, if this is what the best they could do with their cars. You know, it's true.

[Lewis Gomez]

It really is only Puerto Ricans that buy Audis at this point. So we'll see what happens. I will keep you guys posted. We'll see what happens with my car situation. Let's do some plugs real quick. We got a lot of going on right now. If you want to join that contest, please shoot us an email at Lewis and Zach gmail.com looking for a date for Colin Tur's wedding in June. So we got a lot of time here, guys. We got like five months.

[Mike Rainey]

Where is it?

[Lewis Gomez]

In Jersey. Oh, it's all expenses paid. It's. You get fly. You get flown out to Colum's wedding. Get your own room. You don't have to actually let me eat your ass.

[Mike Rainey]

But you're. Oh, but it's limited to women, right? Are you cutting?

[Lewis Gomez]

Technically, Shannon, I should cut off men, right? Because there's going to be too many dudes. That said, the problem is I think it's funny to bring a dude, but I think. No, I actually want a date. I'm not trying to. Some bridesmaid at columns wedding.

[Mike Rainey]

So what if you fall in love before then you take two girls.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, if I fall in love for it, that might be a problem. Yeah, that might be an issue, but I won't.

[Mike Rainey]

Hell yeah, doggy.

[Lewis Gomez]

Hell yeah, dude. Scott, what do you plug 2025?

[Mike Rainey]

I don't really got to plug. Yeah, I got a podcast Working stiff. It's a wrestling podcast that I really enjoy. And that's it, man. Getting surgery on a hernia next week and then 2025. Dude, I got so many things, but I'm starting.

[Lewis Gomez]

You're young and handsome and in shape. What's going on with you? You need to fucking fix yourself.

[Mike Rainey]

No, don't. I know. They tried to do and they said.

[Lewis Gomez]

What are you plugging?

[Zach Amico]

Rain check out a dad meet with me and the funniest dude on the planet, Tim Butterly. My true crime podcast, Little Sneakers. I promise you it's not Hot Topic Fat girl True crime. And then also check out my [e-mail] and then Tim and I are also doing custom dad made episodes. So if you want one just geared toward your interest, we'll. We'll make a podcast about whatever the you want.

[Lewis Gomez]

Love it. On perks.com Very cool. Zach Kamiko.

[Scott Chaplin]

I'm gonna be on the road this weekend. Thursday I'm with Lewis, and Sunday I'm at a dispensary in New York City.

[Lewis Gomez]

City.

[Scott Chaplin]

Check my Instagram. I think you get free weed when you come to the show.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Guys, come see me on the road if you're Watching live tonight, we're at the Regs at the Gramercy Theater. Just a handful of tickets left, so come out to that. It's gonna be a goddamn blast. Tomorrow night, December 12th, Dojo of Comedy, Morris Plains, New Jersey. The great Zach Kimiko gonna be on that show Friday night. Emas Theater, Emas, PA. Naim Ali and Ryan Foster coming with me on those shows, which is great. And then I'll be in Austin, Texas, headlining the creaking cave December 20th and 21st doing a depraved on the 22nd featuring Joe List, Kim Congdon and many other comedians. So grab those tickets for all those shows. Brand new tour, 2025, the Bring 5 Friends tour. Coming to a city near you. I'm gonna go over January because January is already packed. I got Columbus, Ohio, Rosemont, Illinois. Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Actually, Kingston was moved like 20 minutes away. It's another town. Shannon, click on the buy tickets link. They change the venues. It's the Royal Theater in. Let's see. Gaga. Gaga. What is it? Guana. Guana. Guana, Ontario. All right, go back then. I'm going to be in Montreal, Quebec. I'm going to be in Ottawa. I'm going to be In North Charleston, S.C. naples, FL. Winnipeg is the first week. February. Lots of dates being added right now. Keep on checking back on my website. The entire year is being booked out. I'm going everywhere. A bunch of places that I've never been, a bunch of places that I'm returning to, all culminating with the filming of my next special. Zach going to be opening up for me that weekend and warming up for my special as well. I'm filming it July 12th inside at side Splitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida. I tapped the great Robert Kelly to direct my spirit special, which I'm really excited about. Bobby Kelly is one of the funniest standups out there. He's an absolute killer. And Bobby has helped me and watched me basically more than anybody in this entire industry since day one. Bobby was sort of there, and Bobby understands my funny probably more than anybody else in the world. So I'm very excited to put it in his hands and see exactly how good we can make this. But come to that, if you guys are in Tampa, you can make it down to Tampa on July 12th. We're gonna have a crazy weekend and we're gonna be a nutty afterparty on that 12th. So make sure you guys come out and you'll get free tickets for all that stuff. You guys come out to the special? Yeah, make sure. You guys subscribe to Gas Digital, the new gas digital.com gas digital. Use that promo code, Laz. Get yourself a $50 off a month. You get the premium version of this show, which is uncensored and ad free. If you guys are listening to us bleep out all the curse words on YouTube, it's because our channel keeps on getting age restricted and our content keeps on getting age restricted. And that means that we get half the people that listen to the episode when say it's restricted. And we don't get to monetize it. We don't get to make any money on the show. And that's fine. We know we do it for the love of the game, but also we still love the game when we're making money. That doesn't change us doing it for the love of the game. Making money is a nice thing as well. So if you guys don't like the censorship, go get the uncensored version on Gas digital dot com. Use that promo code, Laz. And we do a bonus episode every Friday just for subscribers only. Subscribers for them only. Plus you get access to the racist live chat, which is always a lot of fun. Lots of naked chicks. Oh, somebody put Jordan Jensen's head on Karen Fen's body. Her naked body.

[Scott Chaplin]

That was asked for that.

[Lewis Gomez]

Can you pull. Can you pull that up? Shannon? This is the type of creativity you're going to see in the racist live chat. Look at this. My goodness, look at this. Let's see. Cole Brown says Gas is gay. Shannon, timeout Cole Brown for four minutes right now. Let him know how gay we are.

[Zach Amico]

Lewis, are all these nudes nudes that people are submitting?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, everything in the chat is people that are just. They're posting things in the chat. It's all just. It's all nudes and racist stuff. And it's fun. It's really the most fun chat you could be a part of. If you're. If you chat on YouTube or these other platforms, they. They restrict you. There's very little restrictions in the racist live chat. I will ban you once in a while, but that's sort of a gag for the most part. We'll see. We'll see. Gor says Lewis is a tiny pee. She had a six minute timeout for Gor. Let him know that you don't say that on my racist live chat. What's that? That's that. Oh, now they're all calling me gay. They're all calling me a. All right, Shannon. Anybody who's calling me gay? Or a. They're getting 10 minute timeouts, right?

[Zach Amico]

They're also getting a fitted corn hat.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon, go down the list. 10 minute timeouts for anybody calling me gay right now. Let them know that they're not in control, that I'm in control. Maybe they don't know what the G and Gas digital stands for. Maybe they don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Chat. Can we also get a picture of Naim Ali's head on Karen fans body?

[Lewis Gomez]

That would be really fun. In fact guys, let's do different comedians on Karen's body. This is just really bricks. Bricks.

[Scott Chaplin]

Is that her career.

[Lewis Gomez]

Bricks? Let's see different comedians heads on Karen fiance's body throughout the show. The funny ones will pull up on the show. Lots of fun stuff like that. A lot of people call me gay right now. They're not happy about this at all. Shannon, I'm serious. Every one of them. 10 minute timeout. Shannon's whole job now is timing people out. Shannon, I'm kidding. You don't have to do that. I feel bad because I know she takes everything I say very seriously.

[Shannon]

I have been blocking them and it takes a blame blame.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon, if you get blocked. I'm joking. This is a gag. So obviously if you get blocked or timed out, it's because you're an and Shannon doesn't like you. You. Another coffee please. Let's see what else. Shannon, what's going on with Luigi Amendioni? Luigi Mengioni on Monday? We didn't know his name. We just knew that he was a person of interest. Right?

[Shannon]

Yeah, we know so much about him now.

[Lewis Gomez]

What do we know?

[Shannon]

So let's see. So he's 26 years old.

[Lewis Gomez]

26 years old. Handsome guy. Handsome guy, nice abs, in shape, you know, I respect that. I respect his work ethic, period.

[Shannon]

He also seems like, according to like other like people that knew him, seems like a sweet nice guy. Here's a picture of the him. His abs.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh yeah, dude. A sweet nice guy, 26 years old.

[Shannon]

He graduated from the University of Pennsylvania. Something like cum laude or one of those things.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon's gonna be coming loudy tonight when I'm done with her.

[Shannon]

His father.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's right folks.

[Shannon]

His father owns Lorian Health Services. His cousin is a Republican county delegate in Baltimore.

[Lewis Gomez]

Real quick, just pull up the name on Karen's body. Just real quick, just for a second because it's pretty great. Shannon, shout out to Bricks with the pics. Go, go, go. Follow bricks. B R I, C C S on social medias because that guy fucking rules. Bricks Is the man always has. Great. There we go. Yes. It actually works. It works better than we want it to.

[Zach Amico]

She looks like Derek Gaines. It's the great girl.

[Lewis Gomez]

All right, what else do we know about this guy Shannon?

[Shannon]

Okay, so his grandfather, Nicholas Mint. Oh, sorry, that's my alarm to unblock people. His grandfather was a self made multi millionaire through real estate. He owned country clubs, nursing homes, radio stations. Luigi is one of 37 grandchildren.

[Lewis Gomez]

So Luigi, his grandfather was a self made multi millionaire rich. He went to Princeton. This guy goes to or no, you pen UPenn Ivy League school. He fucking is born into privilege. Why are we acting like this is like a representation of like these fucking like, like. No, he's elite. He's a lunatic who murdered somebody who came from a really rich family. Also. Fuck him.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I love him.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I. He had back surgery. I don't know how recent, but it was like really bad.

[Lewis Gomez]

This is the thing. So this was a personal thing because they wouldn't cover him?

[Mike Rainey]

Well, I mean, I don't know why.

[Lewis Gomez]

Didn'T his rich grandfather pay for his back surgery?

[Mike Rainey]

But even like his background or cover photo on Twitter, like one of the photos is whatever things are in his back. It looks like he's got like three rods in his lower back.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's the principle of being wronged and being told that he can't have something because it seems like they can do whatever they want financially. But they did get the same rigmarole that any of us would get through the health care system.

[Lewis Gomez]

This is his.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, that's his booty.

[Lewis Gomez]

So he's in constant pain all the time. Is that what.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, so I guess we got four.

[Zach Amico]

Dicks in his butt. He's really having a difficult time.

[Lewis Gomez]

I can't actually see these things in his butt because I don't see gay things.

[Zach Amico]

I'll talk you through it.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I guess like a former employer of his said that he told him he can't have sex. It's that like whatever back injury he has, he. Yeah, I also heard back surgery for the most part is like a scam. And I think the, his most recent books that he bought are like reviewed on Goodreads are about back surgery and like the scam of.

[Lewis Gomez]

Is that so I, I only see, here's the thing. I, I. The manifesto actually came out and I. It was really short. I read the first two sentences and I almost fell asleep. I was like, I can't do it anymore. What did the manifesto say? What was his Reasoning?

[Mike Rainey]

Have Chat GPT shorten it for us.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon, you have ChatGPT. I want you to ask ChatGPT to shorten Luigi Mangione's manifesto to one sentence. Just the gist. Just the gist.

[Mike Rainey]

And they got him out of McDonald's.

[Lewis Gomez]

Let's see. His cousin is Nino Mangion, b. Republican, Baltimore county delegate. His grandfather, blah, blah, blah. Luigi is one of the blah, blah, blah. He. The family has a long history of supporting hospitals and other institutions in the Baltimore area. His mother, Kathleen, suffered from excruciating pain from neuropathy. And Luigi was furious with the health care system over lack of care that she. After she met her deductible.

[Shannon]

So, yeah, it seems like he was really mad because his. His mother needed a lot of care and she. She wasn't able to get what she needed. So that's what kind of started to piss him off.

[Lewis Gomez]

Okay.

[Shannon]

And then it continued on. And then like, he kind of went crazy after he himself got hurt and he wasn't able to bang.

[Scott Chaplin]

And he's been missing since November 18th.

[Shannon]

Well, his mother reported him. Yeah, his mother reported him missing.

[Zach Amico]

Why are they all getting their backs blown out?

[Shannon]

I have the one sentence thing of the manifesto. So it says to the feds, I acted alone. Using basic energy and social tactics to expose the unchecked greed and corruption of the health care system that profits at the expense of Americans well being. Highlighting the stark contrast between its immense costs and poor outcomes.

[Lewis Gomez]

Ah. I mean, look, sure, yeah, fine, I get it. I get it. I get going like, oh, it's great. And the healthcare. And I, by the way, I fuck insurance. Insurance companies, them. All, right, I agree. But at the same time, it's also a really rich, privileged kid who didn't deal with any real problems in life, who went and murdered some dude who is what, the personification of the hell one CEO, another CEO is right there. It doesn't fix the system. It doesn't do anything. You're actually. You're a little bitch. You fucking killed some dude, right, who's just a fucking dude to you. And fucking you cause a lot of pain to his family, and that's that. This guy's not like some fucking. Like, you know, he's. He's not a hero. He's not a guy who fucking should be celebrated. He was a fucking lunatic. And it doesn't actually do anything. His actions didn't do anything except cause a specific family and specific people pain. It didn't hurt the health care industry. It didn't make everyone go like, oh, wow, we Got to really think about how the health care industry went. Nothing's going to change. This will stop being a story as soon as information stops. Once he's in jail, this isn't even a story anymore. Everyone who cares about it will move on to the next story. Everyone's a bunch of fucking phonies.

[Zach Amico]

But I think it does change things because he's hot and he's Italian and usually when we get somebody to do this, it's usually an unhinged homeless guy or a white teenager. Did you consider shooting up the alley Audi dealership when you got your car totaled?

[Lewis Gomez]

I actually considered doing this. Shannon, can you pull up the. The. The guy driving his car through the dealership window?

[Mike Rainey]

I saw that.

[Lewis Gomez]

I don't know what happened to this guy, but this is how I feel.

[Mike Rainey]

In his car. He bought it that day.

[Scott Chaplin]

Kind of did.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, he bought it that day.

[Lewis Gomez]

And Jamie Joseph from Hay Breed, what did he do? It's the heart stopping moment. An enraged driver crashes. Shannon, I don't want the inside of. I've told you this, and I mean this. Shannon, that's the whole video. Shannon. Shannon. Shannon Blake. Shannon, I've told you a thousand times.

[Shannon]

That's the whole thing.

[Lewis Gomez]

I don't know. There's a video of him doing. Because I watched the video of him crashing through the window. And every time I do something on the show, I want it to be us talking about it, not some cunt, whoever that was. I. Her voice is making me furious right now. It's the her. Shannon, I don't want to hear another news person talking about it. I want to hear the fucking crash. I want to hear the guy say, fuck you. I want to hear the people on the camera because that's what's the interesting part. Apology accepted.

[Shannon]

You have to give me a second to find.

[Lewis Gomez]

Apology accepted, Shannon. Do you see any other programs doing that, though? Do you see any other program in the world being like, let's talk about this over somebody else talking about it? It's crazy. It's a crazy way to be.

[Zach Amico]

Can you at least relate to this guy? Is there, is there. Have you ever gotten close to doing something like this?

[Lewis Gomez]

Constantly, yeah. Half the time by accident. The other half the time I'm genuinely in a rage. No, not that close to doing something like that. But I do feel for that guy, you know, like I. Whatever it is, he didn't as to.

[Scott Chaplin]

This is something Lewis would say. He didn't wake up that morning going, I'm gonna crash a car through a dealership.

[Lewis Gomez]

You're so rageful. This happens a lot with like, crimes, like crimes of passion, right? That's what they call this crime of passion. That's all this is. This guy, he loved that dealership. This guy. No, but you, you get so angry you say it. I don't care about jail. I don't think about the repercussions. You see people, you know, suicide by cop. It's just this moment where you're like, it. I'm just in this. And that's why you can't really fuck with people too often, because you don't know what their breaking point is going to be. And everybody has a breaking point where they're willing to go to jail. Everyone has a breaking point where they're willing to lose their job. We talk about this for years, right? You go to, you see like a McDonald's employee fighting with like a customer. And you're like, that's crazy. You're gonna lose your job. McDonald's is gonna get sued. That person had a moment where they were so angry they said it. I don't care about the job. I don't care about jail. I'm just down. You'll see people that fight cops. You'll see people that are fucking. You know, it's. It's a. And I think people can relate to that. And it depends on what your breaking point is. But this guy had had enough. What was it? Why did he do this, Shannon?

[Shannon]

So he just purchased the car that day and he left. And he was having issues with. With the car. And so he went back and he was like, this is fucked up. Like, there's so many things happening wrong with the car. I want my money back. And they refused because I guess whatever he signed said that you're buying it as is. And so he left and did this.

[Lewis Gomez]

Call the cops.

[Mike Rainey]

He's a real ass dud.

[Lewis Gomez]

He's got bad attitude.

[Scott Chaplin]

Wow.

[Lewis Gomez]

Did anybody get hurt, Shannon?

[Shannon]

No, nobody got hurt. And he did ask. He said, was that he came. When he came back in, he was like, was anybody under the car? And they said no. And then he was like, okay. And went back into his rage.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Cuz he. Well, let me. Let me hear his rage.

[Shannon]

Go back a little.

[Lewis Gomez]

Holy. Under the car. No, no, no, no.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, it says a lot about.

[Lewis Gomez]

Just the moment, the whole thing. Pause it. I feel bad for this guy because you see it, he already regrets it. He's like. It's like, I just really up a lot in my life. And this is in his first rodeo. This Guy's.

[Scott Chaplin]

He's got a long day ahead of him.

[Lewis Gomez]

Now, this guy's guy, he's had problems in the past. He's been arrested before. This isn't looking good. The judge is not going to take it easy on this guy. It's really dangerous and irresponsible, but he didn't hurt anybody. And if the intent was just to drive your car through the dealership window, I respect it. I respect it more than Luigi Mangione fucking shooting some fucking dude because his mommy couldn't get fucking his rich billionaire fuck or millionaire mother couldn't get the fucking service. Whatever, dude. Whatever, dude. This guy. This guy's a hero. This guy speaks for every person who's ever been wronged in customer service before. And they wouldn't just do what they were supposed to do.

[Mike Rainey]

They're similar. I think they, you know, they deserve.

[Zach Amico]

Like, you know, and I definitely give him a lot more leeway because that car that he ended up with, that's not appropriate for that style of man. That's like, I have this amount of money. What can I get for this? And that's what they gave him.

[Lewis Gomez]

So was it a used car and it had a bunch of wrong with it. Is that my future? I'm gonna buy a used car. I'm gonna drive it right off the lot. It'd be a bunch of wrong with it right away and drive it right.

[Zach Amico]

Back into the lot.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

It doesn't say if it was a used. It just said it was a Subaru Outback. He bought it earlier that day and brought it back and had mechanical issues also. He did tell them before he went out and drove in, he warned them he was gonna do it.

[Lewis Gomez]

He did warn them.

[Shannon]

He did warn them.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, that's fair. Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

But you don't believe it. You know, he goes, I'm gonna drive the car through. Here you go. All right, sir, get the buddy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, all these buttons are lesbian activated.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm not a lesbian.

[Zach Amico]

I told you guys.

[Lewis Gomez]

Donald says Luigi rules. Lewis is a Luigi rule. Why are people. Why are people celebrating this guy? I'm trying to understand what the point is. Like, it's not like it's whatever. What's being presented is just an angle. It's not real. Like, that's not real. He didn't actually take a stand against the healthcare industry. He's a piece of. Who murdered a guy who's got a family and kids. That's all he was.

[Mike Rainey]

No, he's like CEOs.

[Lewis Gomez]

Nope, nope.

[Mike Rainey]

Right.

[Lewis Gomez]

Those CEOs aren't scared.

[Mike Rainey]

They're not really scared. No, they're scared.

[Lewis Gomez]

They're scared. It's all the, the. It's all like. It's a story. I know some companies took their CEOs images down. They're not scared. They're fine. Maybe they got a little extra security. Okay, there's a one off guy. It's not a fucking. There's a. I guess there's posters showing up around New York City with like wanted posters for CEOs, which is kind of fun, but it is just some Jake Flores the type cocksucker being like, look what I'm doing now. Those are. The people who celebrate this shit are faggots. Like Jake Flores, right? Those are. They're faggots. Those are actual faggots. And you, I. You could literally go, yo, fuck the healthcare industry. But it's not celebrating this fucking guy. You can still say fuck the healthcare industry and also not celebrate a fucking rich, privileged douchebag who decided to fucking just murder somebody because he's a crazy person. It was a crazy person. Normal people don't murder people. That's it. It's not a fucking hero.

[Scott Chaplin]

Clip that for when Louis murders someone.

[Lewis Gomez]

But I wouldn't be normal.

[Mike Rainey]

But if you are going to be crazy and murder someone, it is cool that we're talking about health care.

[Lewis Gomez]

I was the first person to say this.

[Mike Rainey]

If you're going to murder somebody, fine, right? Like, that's cool that, yes, you're a murderer and that's terrible. But every step of the way, you're intriguing us in a way that's like forcing us to talk.

[Scott Chaplin]

Even the Monopoly, Monopoly money was a nice touch.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, there's like all these little touches that are like, oh, this means something.

[Zach Amico]

Is very thoughtful.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, there's something cool about that, I guess. And again, it does bring attention. No, nobody should kill anybody. But it is bringing attention to the fact that everybody thinks health care in this country is. I mean, it's a scam. They fuck us.

[Zach Amico]

Making me hungry for meatballs.

[Mike Rainey]

So.

[Lewis Gomez]

I do kind of want to go back to Italy now we're talking so much about Luigi Mengioni.

[Mike Rainey]

Also that healthcare company, whatever it's called, United river, it's like the eighth, like, richest, not healthcare company in the world. Like the biggest company in the world. I didn't know that. This is like big, big money.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, sure.

[Mike Rainey]

So I don't know.

[Lewis Gomez]

Company. Company didn't skip a beat. Company skip a beat. In fact, now their name is more in the ether. People are Dumb. They don't realize the way things work. Right? Remember Balenciaga? A few years ago I said this. I said this. People are like, you're wrong, dude. Balenciaga's done. I was like, no, this will be a story for two days, okay? And Balenciaga will be bigger than ever. I had never heard the word Balenciaga before that story. The amount of people started speaking on Balenciaga. People are buying Balenciaga. It says, look at. I guarantee you it's bigger than it's ever been. I guarantee you they were the ones who did like little kids like pedophile type shit in the ads, right? It was just a story that went viral. And people talk about your brand. I'm letting you know that that is just marketing. So United Health. I never had heard of UnitedHealth. I knew nothing about UnitedHealth. This is just a giant fucking marketing thing for them. They're not more people have heard of. You know, I promise you, two years from now UnitedHealth will be in a better position than they were today. I guarantee. Maybe, but I'm just saying Balenciaga works.

[Scott Chaplin]

At dollar tree with Ms. Ophel.

[Zach Amico]

Have you been on your break yet?

[Scott Chaplin]

I need a price check on the Larry and the Cable Guy. Mac, a baby oil.

[Lewis Gomez]

What you got a diddy party lady? Let me 573 gas line. Do you think that Luigi Mangioni was a hero or. Or do you think that he was a rich kid lunatic who we got.

[Scott Chaplin]

The orange juice with?

[Lewis Gomez]

It is. It is the sign of privilege when you have a kid who went to a Ivy League school and thinks he could outsmart the cops and thinks he can get away. I'm telling you right now, it is all just a little rich privileged kid who went to live in Hawaii to become a surfer.

[Mike Rainey]

You can smart the cops.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm glad. I'm glad your back was up from being a. Who decided I'm going to go be a surfer in Hawaii. What type of privileged horseshit is that? You're like, dude, I'm going to go surf in Hawaii now. That's my thing. You're. This is a rich kid. That's all this is. What are we talking about?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's not to think of an Italian surfer. I mean anything. Paddle boarding. Because that's the closest to stirring gravy surf ex.

[Shannon]

That's caller Lewis.

[Lewis Gomez]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Yo Delta for supporting today's show. We love Yo Delta. If you guys like to get high, and I know you do, if you listen to this show, you're probably a stoner. Well, your Delta makes incredible high quality legal Delta 8 THC products that are delivered right to your door. They got vapes, they got gummies, they have everything you need if you want to get high this holiday season. And why not do it legally and why not have it shipped right to your door?

[Scott Chaplin]

That's right. And you guys know what Delta 8 is? It's something found in hemp that can be legally shipped to most states. And most importantly, it gets you really high. Yo, Delta, as Louis says, has a great mix of gummies and vapes for all you're getting Stone needs. But hey, let me tell you from personal experience, Delta 8, this stuff works. And these products should be taken responsibly.

[Lewis Gomez]

Take a moment right now, go to yo delta.com, stock up for the holiday season, 25% off with the promo code gas and all the products. Let them know that we sent you. Go to yodelta.com, use that promo code gas when you check out and save some cash. All right, where were we? 573 gas line. You're on the Lewis and Zach show. Lewis and Zach in the mornings. What do we think of this United Healthcare CEO murderer?

[Mike Rainey]

I don't want to like him.

[Lewis Gomez]

I don't Want to like CEOs.

[Mike Rainey]

Do not like Italians. I never root for an Italian.

[Lewis Gomez]

That CEO.

[Scott Chaplin]

You love CEOs you watch Scrooge backwards.

[Lewis Gomez]

I love CEOs.

[Scott Chaplin]

Every 10 it's a story about a guy who got his tongue.

[Lewis Gomez]

If I, I don't know, but what this, the guy who got killed, right? What was his story? Did he rise from the fucking from nothing and become the CEO of some company? Is that not a fucking great story? Why are CEOs being like targeted as like automatically evil people? No, I understand that there's like mega corporations and the CEOs are massively overpaid, but they're fucking great at what they do. The reason the corporations are making so much money is because the CEO is fucking elite and somebody's got to make the fucking money. I, dude, I have way less respect for tick tockers who make millions and millions of dollars than some dude who put in the work this. It's a, it's a faggy thing that people go, it's like, yo, CEOs like, what, what about the CEOs that don't make a lot of money? What about a CEO that makes $60,000 a year because it's a new company they're trying to grow the company. What are the CEOs that take no salary at all because they want to make sure that the company is profitable. Which happens all the time in massive companies. There's more nuance to. CEOs are evil. They deserve to die. It's some ignorant Brooklyn Beta horseshit. That's what that attitude is. I'm letting you know again.

[Mike Rainey]

And I.

[Lewis Gomez]

The majority of CEOs are crooked man. Yeah, you just sound. Where did you. Where do you. Where do you get that from? I sound like an elitist. I. I was born. Shut the up. I was born from a heroin addict mother. My dad was stabbed when I was four years old. I've gotten myself through hard work to a place where I can make a little bit of money. Don't you call me an elitist. Luigi, shut the up. Shut the up. You shut the up. You shut the up. Luigi Mangione went to Princeton and came from multi millionaire parents. You don't tell me I'm elitist. That is elitist. That is elitist. All right, what we said. The last thing now you can say now you could talk.

[Mike Rainey]

Still on.

[Lewis Gomez]

He agrees with me. He hung up.

[Scott Chaplin]

He hung up himself.

[Mike Rainey]

I think you know the job of a CEO is like, oh, cost cutting, stuff like that too, right? Like, what's. How do you know? How do we save money every year? But when you're the CEO of a healthcare company, the way you do those things, it sucks because health care is important. And when you start talking about cost cutting and the bottom line, all of a sudden someone's grandmother dies because she doesn't get. You know. So that's the issue. And that's why these people get shot like you're a millionaire.

[Lewis Gomez]

These people don't get shot. CEOs aren't being shot. We have a one time this happened. It's one time this happened. One dude fucking did it. It's not changing the ether. It's not changing the way it all works. It's just we're celebrating the wrong shit. I celebrate the guy who fucking works his ass off his whole life and fucking becomes great and becomes rich and figures out his fucking path. That's what I celebrate. I don't figure out. I don't celebrate a little whiny who decides to make a gun on a 3D printer because he's just a. He can do no wrong. Life is. That's life, right? 573 gas line am I wrong?

[Mike Rainey]

I'll.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'll let you talk. I promise you right now. I'll let you Talk now. How about this?

[Zach Amico]

What if they just started pranking CEOs instead?

[Lewis Gomez]

That's fun.

[Zach Amico]

Where they could not go anywhere without having eggs thrown at them. Without having, you know, a finger put in their chest. And they look down and then they go right up their nose.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, this guy says like 99% of CEOs are corrupt assholes. Is that, where does that come from? That's. That's. Once again a thoughtless. Like you just go, oh, rich people are bad. Who are we? What though? Do we not want to be rich? Do we not want to get to the point where we could all fucking put away money for our children and fucking have multi generational wealth? Is that not the goal? Is the goal to become a fucking little punk ass fucking bitch who'd murder somebody because I don't fucking like the job that they have? That's crazy. That is crazy.

[Shannon]

Another caller, Shannon, please.

[Lewis Gomez]

Put them on.573 gas line, you're on the Lewis and Zach show. What's your name? Where you calling for? My friend Taylor from Houston. Taylor, you're the man. I love you, buddy. What's your opinion on all this? Love you too, my man. So hear me out. Not to be the conspiracy theory dude. Don't you skip me going. Go ahead. Sorry. I'm sorry. Go. So McDonald's had an E. Coli scare a couple months ago. They. They put like a hundred million dollars into marketing and stuff like that. So what if Luigi is just an AI creation made to sell more McDonald's? Because there is also a recent thing where Donald Trump, Elon Musk, RFK Jr. And Donald Trump's son are also all eating McDonald's on a plane. You're taking a picture together. That's just more marketing. You're thinking this all marketing for McDonald's. Thank you very much for your phone call. You just won a Mike Rainey signed fitted corn hat. The one that he actually fucking went down on his wife in.

[Zach Amico]

It still has pussy juice on it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Still has pussy juice on it. You got it, my friend. Hang tight. Shannon's gonna get all your information. You're definitely getting that hat. He makes a good point. Maybe this is all just marketing for McDonald's.

[Zach Amico]

Can AI create Italians?

[Lewis Gomez]

I don't know.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yes, it's called AO.

[Lewis Gomez]

I mean, I, you know, whatever. I'm just, I don't. I don't automatically subscribe to a CEO is an evil person. That is just such a dumb blanket statement. You're bad because you're a CEO. Well, what about a CEO? For a fucking nonprofit who helps people. What are you talking about? There's like plenty of fucking people who just work their off and they work their way up the fucking ladder and they become great and that's that. I don't think it's in. They're inherently bad or inherently good. I think there's certain companies that are bad. I think insurance companies are bad. I completely agree. I think insurance companies are up and bad. Right. It's not any one person. There's a broken system there. Obviously there's issues. I don't think murdering a CEO of an insurance company is the solution for that. I don't think it does anything good. I don't think we should be celebrating that. I don't think we should be having other lunatics go like, oh, look, people are celebrating it because that person's not making a difference. They'll have. You'll have another lunatic just go out and fucking shoot somebody because they want it. They want to be celebrated. These are egomaniacs. People that write manifestos are egomaniacs. It is about them. They are the center of their fucking world. That is not a good person. It's not a person that we should be celebrating.

[Zach Amico]

I do give them a lot of credit because it was probably the shortest manifesto I've read.

[Lewis Gomez]

It was.

[Zach Amico]

He got right to the point. You know, wasn't like, I read a.

[Mike Rainey]

Two page manifesto and then someone. I read somewhere that there's like a 200 and something and page manifesto.

[Lewis Gomez]

Really? Yeah, I saw, I saw a very short one.

[Shannon]

So there was a manifesto, but then also there was a spiral notebook that they found that some quotes have been released.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, he was spiraling. Thanks folks.

[Zach Amico]

I love it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Thanks, folks. Somebody says Lewis has. Have an edgy take. Maybe I don't look for the generic take. What do you want me to say? I'm never looking for the take that everybody else fucking has. So fuck you if you don't like.

[Mike Rainey]

No, I think that's not that. But most people are saying what you're saying.

[Lewis Gomez]

You think most people are saying what I'm saying?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, you're just scrolling on X and you're seeing people react like fuck them.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, I've never, I've seen.

[Mike Rainey]

Actually, I guess what I'm saying is like the news isn't saying fuck him.

[Lewis Gomez]

Most people are celebrating this guy that I've seen online.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Most people on the Internet and in life seemed to be celebrating this guy. Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

But how much does that have to do with that? He's handsome. If it looked like me.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Chaplin]

First, he wouldn't have gotten away on that bike, but he would have stuck in the.

[Zach Amico]

Zach, you would have missed the shooting just because you were eating at McDonald's.

[Lewis Gomez]

Dirk Chrysler says Louis started gas with his rich friends. Money. Shannon, time him out for 10 minutes right now. There was almost no money put into gas Digital in the very fucking beginning, you fucking jerk off. And I don't consider Ralph a friend, so take that.

[Mike Rainey]

I.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's awesome.

[Mike Rainey]

I even kind of like the reaction that the reaction is, fuck him. Because that's a moment in time where everyone goes like, hey, has this happened before? What happens next? When everybody in a country goes, good, fuck that CEO, when that's the response, Everyone has to look around and go, oh, let's talk about this.

[Lewis Gomez]

You're right, dude. That's gonna happen.

[Mike Rainey]

You're right.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's gonna happen.

[Mike Rainey]

We're gonna.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's gonna change things. You guys are right. You're right. Healthcare premium, guys. You're right. Healthcare premiums are coming down. Your deductibles are coming down. You guys are going to get great health care. Now that this guy. Is that you? That is the solution here. It won't be that. United Healthcare is in a better place a year from now than it is today. You're right.

[Mike Rainey]

I don't know.

[Lewis Gomez]

I don't know. You're wrong.

[Mike Rainey]

I don't know if anything's ever changed.

[Lewis Gomez]

This didn't just help that company. This didn't. You're right. You're right. Yeah, it's fucking. It's just. I'm letting you know, it's unfucking questionably, unquestionably. Nothing changes with your healthcare from this at all. Nothing. This. You're not waking. You're not opening people's eyes going like, oh, my God, health care is bad. Health insurance companies are evil. No shit.

[Mike Rainey]

But they. But we all knew that already.

[Lewis Gomez]

You think they didn't know that?

[Mike Rainey]

Well, I don't. You don't think that they get like.

[Lewis Gomez]

They know. They know. It's all. This is going to go away in three days. As soon as the information stops coming out, we're going to move on to whatever the next big thing is, Right? It might be P. Diddy. It might be something. It just all it takes. Anything happens in the news, we're over this.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think if it started a healthcare revolution, they'd refer to it as 1776?

[Lewis Gomez]

I like that.

[Scott Chaplin]

January 6th.

[Mike Rainey]

Well, he's still alive, so he does have an opportunity to win you over, right? Maybe he's like super articulate about this. He continues talking. When he was being brought into the, when he's being brought into the police station, he was screaming he's attack. So he's out here like talking? Yeah, yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

I, maybe he can win me over. I guess. We'll see. Get him on the podcast. He could. Maybe he could. My. Maybe. I'm just. I don't even care. Sure, fine. Celebrate. I don't. It's more like this. It's just a, like a simplistic way of thinking to go like, oh, CEOs are evil and this guy's great. He's changing the healthcare industry. It's all like just dumb smoking mirrors. None of it's real. Nothing will actually change. He shouldn't be celebrated. You shouldn't go fucking murder CEOs of any companies. And CEOs aren't inherently evil. They're not. That's, that's ridiculous. Just saying that is such a blanket, stupid person statement.

[Zach Amico]

But do you think it may be because the General Public view CEOs is kind of a reflection of politics, whereas people feel powerless now and it's either one extreme or the other and it's kind of a trickle down where if politicians aren't, this shit isn't happening to them.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, I think there's a, there's a misconception that any CEO is rich and elite. I think there's plenty of CEOs in this country that are not rich, not elite. I mean, technically Ralph could have named himself the CEO of the company. We don't take profits from this. Me and Ralph have never taken a dime of profits from Gas digital. Everything that we've ever made has gone back into this company. So there's this thing where, I mean, it's not, it's not that automatically the bosses are bad and the fucking people that are below them are fucking good. It's like. No, no, no. The reality is most of the time when you have people who are an entrepreneur or people who own businesses, they invest a lot of their own time and money for a very, very long time in order to get themselves to a level where they can become, quote, unquote, elite. I don't. Yeah, you're right. I agree. People that are just handed money and are, you know, born with a silver spoon in the mouth like Luigi Mangioni. Yeah. Those people annoy the out of me. I wasn't that kid. I worked my ass off to get to a place where I could buy a Audi and crash it. Seven times that I had to work.

[Scott Chaplin]

It's hard to find a spoon in your house.

[Lewis Gomez]

Plank says buy shares in United Healthcare. That's not a bad idea. That's not a bad idea. Buy some shares in United Healthcare. I might. Maybe I will. Shannon, what are they? Are they a publicly traded company?

[Shannon]

Let me see.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon, take my credit card right now. Buy me $20,000 worth of United Healthcare. I like the company now. I'm a fan. Can you give me a United Healthcare T shirt? Shannon? I'm on their side. This.

[Zach Amico]

You should wear a United Healthcare hospital gown with your ass hanging out the back.

[Lewis Gomez]

You know, a Healthcare T shirt with bullet holes in it.

[Shannon]

So they are a publicly traded company. You have to buy through a stockbroker.

[Lewis Gomez]

You gotta buy them through a stockbroker.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow. Okay, what's the. What's the price of a share right now? I wish. I wish I was smart enough and knew enough about, like, economics. I would love to just put a pin in this and be like, what is the company worth today? And then two years from now, show everyone that the company has grown in size.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. You seem to have it figured out. I saw your bitcoin post the other day.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, well, bitcoin is a fucking. That's just gambling, essentially, at this point. I'm holding onto it and hoping that it fucking. But I have a feeling one day you're going to just open up your fucking coinbase accounts and it's all going to be gone. And there's going to be no explanation. There's nobody to blame because it's decentralized and nobody can get their money back. There's going to be some crazy shit. I think there's going to be some sort of, like, you know, crypto is a little bit. I'm nervous about just even holding onto it. Everyone says, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold. I have a feeling there's something's going to happen with it one day where it's just gone.

[Scott Chaplin]

Probably because of some, like, scrupulous CEO maybe.

[Lewis Gomez]

Probably not, though. It probably won't be some shady CEO that wipes out everyone's crypto. It'll probably be rich. Hold on. A rich kid from some elite family that is a computer hacker that does it. It'll be a Luigi Mangione and then all of the in Brooklyn will go good. Everyone's riches are gone. All of these people that work hard for their family's education, for their kids to go to school and to give their kids something nice, it's all gone. Now good people with money. What is most people fucking work really. But most people that are successful and have a lot of. They have to work pretty hard for it. And I understand that there are people that are just handed riches. Yes. I get there's generational wealth and I understand that those people, technically it's easy to say them, but really them. Like, I'm working hard to make sure my son has generational wealth. I'm working hard to make sure that I leave property and money and when my, when I die, my son is taken care of. Does my son not deserve that because he didn't work as hard as me to, to get it? Technically, no, but. But at the same time, that's what I've decided to do with my money. And that's why I work hard, specifically for that reason. I think that should be celebrated. What is the CEO of UnitedHealthcare? What is his background, Shannon? Was he always rich?

[Zach Amico]

Well, his back's on the ground now. That's his background.

[Shannon]

I looked it up before. Hold on, let me find it again. But I did pull up just for now while I have this up as there's a bunch of merch on etsy. Here's one. UnitedHealthcare, we aim to please.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's nice.

[Shannon]

And then there's a lot of Luigi Mangione stuff.

[Lewis Gomez]

Free Luigi. These poor actors that are just in generic T shirts. Yeah, free Luigi.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever had a soft spot for a hot female murder?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, kind of.

[Scott Chaplin]

Oh yeah. The chick that killed the guy in the hotel room that was covered in blood was super hot.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think I know her.

[Lewis Gomez]

There's a new chick that came out, right. Who's like a, like a hitman chicken. Was going viral like a few days ago. Hot Latin chick. She looked like the. The chick from the Ring. Yeah, I like that. But they're chicks. I like a little bit of a crazy, you know, if you have to have a real conversation about this stuff though, like, yes, it's kind of fun to be like, yeah, that, that guy's dead. But it's like really, like, do we really feel that way? That's crazy. It's a crazy way to be. Let's see. Wow. Women are getting designer nipple filler for perkier bosoms. What is this? Shannon? I have dated girls that have had inside out nipples. Yuck.

[Zach Amico]

Punch them in the back, they come out, pop out.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Have you had that before? Yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

You put your fingers in their eyes slightly.

[Lewis Gomez]

Can we see?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I have a couple before and after and what they're basically saying, not necessarily for inverted, but also just so that women can like have their nipples show in shirts because it's like a trendy thing now.

[Lewis Gomez]

So.

[Shannon]

But here's a before and after. This one is inverted.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, every girl should get this. I love this. This is good nipple filler.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, it just made my nipple hurt, though.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. You know, nipples are great, dude, but you get a chick that has an inside out nipple, it's just sad. You suck on it. You're trying to.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, you're trying to get it back out.

[Lewis Gomez]

Try to get out of its hole.

[Scott Chaplin]

Now you gotta ice them like showgirls.

[Zach Amico]

I like. I like them. Different belly button.

[Lewis Gomez]

You like a different nip point.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, One in, one out shows the duality of man.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh. All right, let's get a little time here. I'll go a little boys. I'm not in a hurry, people. Like now he's going to the notes. Maybe we'll have a long show today, you suckers. Maybe that's what we'll do. I'm saying the city for the regs tonight. So I have to kill time. I have to actually kill time today. Shannon, what is this am I overreacting story? This is kind of a fun story. This woman writes on Reddit. Am I overreacting? I think my husband wants to eat me. And then she pulled up a bunch of his Internet Google search histories, which, let's see, what. What was the history, Shannon?

[Shannon]

They. They took it down. They took it down from when I sent this to Shannon.

[Lewis Gomez]

Mexican Sal just says long show. Lmao. You were 30 minutes late. We were an hour and 15 minutes into the show. And we're going long. Usually ended about an hour and 10. An hour and 15. Shannon, that guy, he gets a one hour ban now he can't chat for the rest of the show. Sit the fuck down, you fucking pussy. Sit down. What was his name again, Shannon? I lost him.

[Shannon]

Fuck.

[Zach Amico]

Luigi Mangione.

[Lewis Gomez]

Ah, I forget who it was. Ooh. You motherfucker. Talk shit again, we're gonna catch you. Let me find you again, motherfucker.

[Shannon]

So, yeah, the moderators removed it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Fake dick bitch says, don't you dare preempt on the gate. It's a show that's actually funny. Fake dick bitch thinks on the Gate is funnier than this show.

[Scott Chaplin]

Well, you love Friday's exclusive episode.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, Friday's exclusive episode. Great episode with Gio and Derek. You guys are gonna love it.

[Scott Chaplin]

So if you like on the Gate, love it.

[Lewis Gomez]

But Time that guy out too, Shannon. One hour timeout for that guy.

[Scott Chaplin]

Now you can't watch your precious show.

[Lewis Gomez]

You know, you can't chat during that show, you stupid. Maybe you don't understand what this is.

[Scott Chaplin]

You're on lockdown.

[Lewis Gomez]

Maybe you don't understand what this is. This is the Lewis and Zach show. We make the rules right now. So you have a little bit of respect. Okay? Yeah, everyone agrees that this is better than on the gate. On the Gate. Lewis is better than both those guys put together. Lewis is a big dick. We want to suck Lewis's. Yeah, all that stuff. There we go. Tina says Lewis is just such. Is such a sensitive. Shannon, timeout. Tina's for 24 hours. 24 hour timeout for TIS. Anybody else? Anybody else? Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what I thought. Oh, really? Baba Bogey says he almost said real ass podcast. Time him out for one hour, Shannon. One hour. How about that? Point out my slip ups, you sucker.

[Scott Chaplin]

Poor guys is trying to make a point that power doesn't corrupt people. They don't think they're above you. There's nothing wrong with a CEO.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, me. Jenna, what is this search history? Please tell me it's taken down and I really. Oh, it's taken down.

[Shannon]

Yeah, the moderator took down the screenshot of the post. But, I mean, I'm reading through the comments. I could tell you some of the stuff that they're saying in the comments.

[Lewis Gomez]

But no, it's like, how is slicing a person's neck painless? How to cook human flesh. What does human flesh taste like? It's a lot of that.

[Scott Chaplin]

Who hasn't googled that?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. Maybe he. This guy had a podcast. If you looked at our search history on the podcast, you would be like, these guys are doing some crazy. But sometimes you want to figure out what the process is for buying a child on the dark Web. You don't want to buy a child in the dark Web. You just kind of want to see how easy it is for podcast. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, what was the going rate?

[Lewis Gomez]

We never went that far, but we did discuss it, and then I think Shannon decided to put the kibosh on that bit.

[Mike Rainey]

Painting. And then you get a kid instead.

[Lewis Gomez]

Is that what it is?

[Mike Rainey]

Something like that.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Maybe. Let's see. So, yeah, I mean, you know, is she overreacting? Maybe. Maybe she should have a conversation with her husband about it.

[Zach Amico]

I think every woman secretly wants to be wanted that bad.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, Maybe she should stop walking around looking so delicious.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

Stop showering.

[Lewis Gomez]

Do you think her husband sees her as like a walking turkey.

[Scott Chaplin]

Talking to him at night?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

Stop leaving your socks on the floor of the shower.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon. What is this? This is a Philadelphia couple. They became the world's oldest newlyweds. What is this?

[Shannon]

I think this is sweet. It was a, a man who's 100, a woman who's 102. They met at a senior living home in older women.

[Scott Chaplin]

Gross.

[Shannon]

And then they fell in love and got married, making them the oldest newlyweds in the Guinness Book of World Records.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

What do you think is the most sexual thing they did on their wedding night?

[Scott Chaplin]

Don't like about old people. I bet they like they did something old people.

[Mike Rainey]

But do 1012 year olds.

[Zach Amico]

You can make it happen.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

You do something. Probably they rub against each other. Probably.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe put fresh diapers on.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, do you think he still gets hard and she just look as wet? I remember my grandma said this when I was maybe I had to be 10 years old. And my grandma, she was maybe 75, something like that. My great, my great grandma Rose, they were talking about my mom and my sister or somebody was talking about how my grandma Rose probably doesn't get wet anymore. I don't know why the conversation was being had, but my grandma Rose very clearly stated that she still gets wet. And I'll never forget that.

[Scott Chaplin]

That's pee.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, no, no. She was talking about her, she was talking about her still getting wet down there. I, I remember this so clearly. It was crazy. Nobody has that conversation.

[Scott Chaplin]

When they were in their 80s, my dad's parents. I remember my grandma saying, your grandfather's still a pretty strong man in the bedroom.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, guys got the, the benefit of, of Viagra and Sealis, but is there anything that automatically wets up a lady at that age?

[Lewis Gomez]

I wonder.

[Scott Chaplin]

Antiques Road show.

[Lewis Gomez]

You could use Luke. Yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

That's the thing. Dudes need a pill. Chicks just need like spit.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think the bigger issue is you run the risk of breaking hips.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All that smashing, you're probably not hard.

[Lewis Gomez]

You're just gonna like, you're gonna do like the side by side, just kind of rock. Yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

Or you get like the, the bed that goes up and down for you.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, that's fine.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Like a sleep number.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

Dude, do you tongue?

[Lewis Gomez]

I gave myself that chance. I, I, I, Because I also would have said that.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you.

[Mike Rainey]

Do you tongue kiss as an old person?

[Scott Chaplin]

Teeth out.

[Zach Amico]

You swap dentures that's what you do.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's disgusting.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, I think I'd stop kissing at a certain.

[Lewis Gomez]

I think it's kind. I. I think I'm almost getting to that age. Yeah, I like, I. I made out with, like, a younger chick recently, and I'm like, how is this even good for you?

[Zach Amico]

What are you just gonna do, start booping?

[Lewis Gomez]

Just. Just like, whatever. It's an old man. Like, kissing with tongue is disgusting. Old people should keep their tongues in their mouths. That's a fact. Okay.

[Scott Chaplin]

Some can't.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. All right, so what are these are mysterious drones flying overhead in New Jersey? What are these, Shannon?

[Shannon]

So apparently since November 18th, and it's not just Jersey, there's a few other places, Arizona, a couple other states where people are continuously seeing it. I'll show you this.

[Lewis Gomez]

Let me get another coffee, please. Extraordinary in the racist live chat just said the Jason Ellis show is greater than Lewis and Zach show. Shannon, timeout Wex for one hour. And I believe Wex is actually a sponsor of Skankfest. I'm timing out. A sponsor of Skank, I believe, right? Wex. You're Zia Extraordinary Forms, if I'm not mistaken. Maybe I'm wrong, but I believe he's Z. Extraordinary. Yeah, that's Zia. Yeah, shout out to Z Extraordinary Forms, great sponsor for Skank festival, but time out their sucking CEO Wex for one full hour. No more chatting. Because you like Jason Ellis. If you like Jason Ellis more than me, actually kill yourself. I really mean that. Are you. I really. I really mean that. That's easy. If you like Jason Ellis more than me, you are a loser. I like Jason. Not more than me, though.

[Scott Chaplin]

You ever watch any of the videos of Alice getting plowed out?

[Zach Amico]

I heard about him.

[Mike Rainey]

Wait, there's Justin.

[Scott Chaplin]

Just getting.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, he. He used to have only fans where he would dudes on. Only fans.

[Mike Rainey]

I didn't know he men.

[Scott Chaplin]

Oh, dude, he's getting it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, he's not. I think he's no longer.

[Scott Chaplin]

He's not. He's out. He's out the game.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, he's. He's no longer doing gay. And he's like, oh, I love Jesus and I'm sober and I don't men anymore. And you're like doggy. You can't. You can't.

[Scott Chaplin]

Cat's out of the bed.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, you can't. You can't. Men on camera.

[Scott Chaplin]

Kangaroo's out of the pouch, buddy.

[Lewis Gomez]

Saying, you can have. You can have a couple stories from college where you tried some gay. And I'll say, fine, dude, you're not gay. But if you a man on camera, it's like, you gotta. At the very least, you gotta go, you know what, dude? I am. I'm forever bisexual. Maybe you're. Maybe you're not into it as much anymore, but.

[Mike Rainey]

No, you're right.

[Scott Chaplin]

If you've taken the seat of a black man on your weight bench in your backyard, that's wild. The audio, dude. Ellis getting in the ass sounds like if they had the audio of Steve Irwin getting killed. You just get like, all right, all right.

[Lewis Gomez]

No. All right. Too much. Oh, boy, he's a beauty.

[Scott Chaplin]

Oh, got me.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, he's stabbing me. Oh, hold on. Got it. Got it. Easy. Oh.

[Scott Chaplin]

And then when you come in his ass, it actually goes the opposite way down his.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, no, I like Jason. I like Jason. I just can't. If you like Jason more than me, you're out of your mind. That's insane. That's insane. So what are these drones, Shannon? Let me see them.

[Shannon]

Here's a little bit of the video. This is Bergen county, and it's going to switch to a couple other places. And it was multiple nights, and apparently they're the size of a small car.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wex said, I'm going to go. I'm going to go sponsor the Jason Ellis show now. Good luck making money on that, my friend. Go ahead.

[Shannon]

As you see it here and again, multiple nights, and apparently the government weighed in on it. And they're like, I have no. We also have no idea what they are, but they're huge. And then recently, somebody who works in security said that they think that it's the government testing new equipment.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And then also, like, checking in to, like, see how many people's cell phones that they can gather information from, check new cameras, yada, yada. But it's still happening.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. There's an explanation for it. It's nothing super weird.

[Mike Rainey]

Looks like they're surveying an area because it's a pretty consistent right where they're flying around in Jersey.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's fun. I wish I always get my son. Like, I'd say every Christmas, I get him a new drone that he never uses. And I always want to use it, and I just. Fuck. If you ever try to fly a drone, they're more difficult to maneuver than you think. They're not like. They're not really that. Maybe the ones that I get are kind of shitty. That's why I'm sure there's got to be some fun once you see, like, The Roan races, where they, like, go when it's like an abandoned, like, building, and then they have the cameras on the drones and then they just like they're zipping through a building. It's pretty cool. It's pretty badass. Yeah, that used to be a big thing as well. People would make, like, model airplanes. Planes before there was drones. You, like, build a model airplane, but apparently those are really difficult to manage, too. Thank you very much. Thank you, sir. You look like you probably like what Luigi Mangione did. That is the energy that you guys have. Show your face to the camera. This is the energy. The people that like Luigi Mangione are. What's your name again, dude?

[Zach Amico]

Show list.

[Lewis Gomez]

Dante Nero called you Joe. Listen, yeah, never mind. Goodbye. Never mind. Yeah, drones are. They're. They're fun. They're fun in theory, but, I mean.

[Scott Chaplin]

Nothing'S funnier than you flying the drone off the building at the fourth of July.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, that was. That was bad.

[Zach Amico]

Intentional.

[Scott Chaplin]

No, this. Ralph had a drone.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, no, no. I'm not going to tell it. Somebody in the race live chat says ralph drone story incoming. And then I ignored it, and then I moved on.

[Scott Chaplin]

Sor.

[Lewis Gomez]

We're not going to let them win this one, Zach.

[Scott Chaplin]

I'm sorry.

[Lewis Gomez]

Never mind. If you've never heard that story, you will never hear that story. You time that guy up for one hour for ruining the story.

[Scott Chaplin]

Sorry if I was droning on about that story. My apologies. That shit's not going to fly here. I'll try and stay in control.

[Lewis Gomez]

Ah, I'm really hot today. I'm on one. I'm on one. Shannon. Shannon.

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Lewis Gomez]

I love you.

[Shannon]

I love you, too.

[Lewis Gomez]

I miss you, girl.

[Shannon]

Right here.

[Lewis Gomez]

Thank you for buying my tail. Look at Karen's ass. Hell, yeah. What's up, girl?

[Scott Chaplin]

Sniff it. Sniff it. Shannon.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon. If you eat her ass right now, $1,000.

[Scott Chaplin]

Treasure the right and sniffing. Turn to the right and sniff.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon thought about it. She needs a thousand dollars. But you gotta pull Karen's pants down against her will and start eating it like crazy while she freaks out like a black woman.

[Shannon]

It's gonna be a hate crime.

[Scott Chaplin]

Jesus, Shannon.

[Lewis Gomez]

Jeez.

[Shannon]

That's what. That's what they counted as?

[Lewis Gomez]

Would they? Yeah. I'm not saying find a black person and rape them. I'm saying pull Karen's pants down against her will and eat her ass.

[Shannon]

No.

[Scott Chaplin]

I miss Paco. Paco would have done it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, Paco would have done. Paco will do anything. Paco rules. Paco's real ass Shannon. Let's see. Pro back scratchers raking big bucks. But it's not about sex. What is this? People that scratch your back for you.

[Shannon]

Yeah. So remember there was the thing with, like, cuddling a while back. Now there's a thing where this one chick in particular charges $130 an hour just for her to scratch her back. This is what she looks like.

[Scott Chaplin]

Not worth it. Nice nails, though.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's a massage.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

All it is is a different type of massage. In fact, if you go to a massage therapist and they just scratch my back, they'll scratch your back.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. I think.

[Scott Chaplin]

I think 130 is a little much. I would say 75. I would definitely pay for an hour back scratching.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, I mean, it's about a massage. It should be what a massage costs, right? So if you go to a high.

[Scott Chaplin]

End, like for an extra 50, she'll scratch your dick.

[Zach Amico]

Scratchy ending.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon, can you call the nearest massage place and see if we just wanted a bat, if we just wanted to scratch our back the whole time, if they would do it. I bet you almost any massage therapist would do this. It's probably substantially easier than giving a massage. In fact, I know it is. We've all done both.

[Zach Amico]

It should be a lot cheaper, though. Do you think there's anything you could have them pair with it? Like say certain things to you as they scratch instead of just full on needing your back?

[Lewis Gomez]

I want them to.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Meow the whole time. I want them to talk.

[Scott Chaplin]

You want them to make biscuits?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

On your back.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, so we've all. We all do this. I'm sure you, Randy, you're. How long you've been married now?

[Zach Amico]

Essentially? We've been together 24 years as of yesterday.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's crazy. Congratulations.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you, man.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Dude. I give really good massages. Like, I give. I give really good massages. But you can't let your girl know that girl's gonna ask you day one for a massage. Give her a massage.

[Scott Chaplin]

Put your thumb up her ass if you.

[Lewis Gomez]

If you make it too good. Now you've set yourself up for this. Now you can do it every day massaging this. And then when you're not in the mood, like now, if a girl. If I'm dating a girl for a little while and she wants a massage, it's literally me kind of like pressing on her back with one hand for 25 seconds and then I try to her and that's that. That's that. There's no giving.

[Scott Chaplin]

Can't spoil Them.

[Lewis Gomez]

There's no giving a massage good to your partner. You need to go to a professional. You need, you need to remove the emotion from it because they're never going to give you a really good massage. They're going to give you a full factor hour. Really get in there, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I got in the habit of just going to an Asian place near me.

[Lewis Gomez]

Robin Hood.

[Zach Amico]

And, and, but no, not that. I mean, I've been to them before I met my wife, but the one I go to, there's not even like a hint of monkey business. You know how, like, at the, at the good places, like, you can kind of like tt your back up a little bit and they know what to do. Yeah, but this isn't like that at all. They don't even go near that.

[Scott Chaplin]

I get kicked out of Dollar Tree for calling it a monkey business.

[Lewis Gomez]

I went to a place recently and I got a massage. And I, I jokingly, the woman's like, is there any area you don't want me to touch? And I said, my genitals, jokingly. And she was like, oh, we don't do that here. We don't do that. Like. And I was like, oh, I'm kidding, obviously. And she was like. She was like, no, actually, in certain states you're allowed to have your genitals massaged by a regular massage therapist. Yeah. It's not like a happy ending. I don't know if they're allowed to make you climax, but you can say, hey, my balls are sore. Can you massage them?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I pulled something earlier.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, I do love a. Maybe I'll get a massage today.

[Zach Amico]

I know, man.

[Lewis Gomez]

I love a massage.

[Zach Amico]

Do you lay flat on the table or sit in the weird chair?

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, no, I lay on the table. I lay on the table completely naked. That's that, dude. Face down, ass up. I love it. Scott, you. Scott goes on the road with me sometimes, and we'll go to Scott, like, I've never had a massage, which is true. You, I think. Did I get you your first. Who did I get the first massage? I got somebody their first massage ever. And I was like, that's crazy. I give us. I get foot massages probably at least once a week because foot massages are borderline, like slave labor.

[Mike Rainey]

I've never gotten a foot massage.

[Lewis Gomez]

You never got a foot massage, doggy, I'll go right out. I'll buy you a foot massage after this. I'll buy you a foot massage. How do you feel about your feet being touched?

[Mike Rainey]

I got, I got a war on my foot.

[Lewis Gomez]

You know, don't tell her. Yeah, don't tell her. You gotta tell if you sell.

[Zach Amico]

Promise I'm clean.

[Lewis Gomez]

They're not gonna, they're not gonna touch your feet.

[Mike Rainey]

The last few times I've gotten a massage. Cuz they'll like glaze your feet when you get a massage.

[Scott Chaplin]

Like a regular massage that cost extra.

[Mike Rainey]

I like left one sock on cuz of the war on my foot.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh no.

[Mike Rainey]

She was like, I don't care and she took the sock off.

[Lewis Gomez]

She took the sock off and touched your wart.

[Mike Rainey]

Felt like a loser.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's brutal. Dude. I can't believe you put your foot inside of my ex girlfriend. How do you feel?

[Scott Chaplin]

You should have had one sock on your foot and one sock on your dick.

[Lewis Gomez]

What? How do you feel about a foot massage?

[Zach Amico]

I would love it.

[Lewis Gomez]

I love it.

[Zach Amico]

Right? Pedicures, manicures, massages, foot massages. It's all good.

[Lewis Gomez]

You want to get foot massage after this? I'll do foot massages all around. Foot massages all around. If you guys want to go, go to a little. There's a place over here. I don't know what it is. This Asian, she has got like a bone. She just digs it into your foot. It's wild. It's so good. I can't wait now. I'm very excited about this.

[Zach Amico]

Did they ever give you any kind of indication as to where they would go for the happy ending?

[Lewis Gomez]

If you, you know a happy ending place. Happy any place. If you. If they. If the door is locked, if they.

[Scott Chaplin]

Have to buzz you in.

[Lewis Gomez]

If they got a buzz you in.

[Mike Rainey]

When you walk in, they slam the door.

[Lewis Gomez]

If you know, if you walk into the place and it gets. And there's bells and you fucking come in and there's like a. And there's nice music on and it smells nice. Don't try to get a happy ending there. If you come in and it looks like a fucking. A check cashing place in the hood and you have to buzz two people in and they come in and look through a thing and the woman shows up and she's wearing lingerie. Yeah, this is a hooker. These are sex sleeves. You can do what you want with them.

[Scott Chaplin]

She sleeps on that massage table.

[Lewis Gomez]

100, 100 you're on her bed. That's all you got to do just that. The easiest way to know if it's.

[Scott Chaplin]

A rub and tug place, then check the hours.

[Lewis Gomez]

There's also. Yeah. If they're open past 8pm no, legitimate massage places open 24 hours a day. Okay. These are easy things. Or you could always go to Rub Maps. If you're ever in a pinch, go to Rub Maps, which is a website. Like an old time. It looks really old school, but it's still pretty up to date.

[Zach Amico]

Do you treat sex slaves the same that you treat normal massage ladies?

[Mike Rainey]

Normal slaves?

[Lewis Gomez]

Sure. I treat them with respect. But you don't have to. What are they going to do? What could they possibly. I'm surprised they're not all raped regularly. What? Like, if you're. If you're. I'm not. I wouldn't do this, and I'm suggesting that anybody do this. But why wouldn't you just have sex with them and then threaten them and take your money back?

[Scott Chaplin]

Because they probably have a guy with a gun there.

[Lewis Gomez]

I don't think so.

[Mike Rainey]

Oh, yeah, they probably got it. That's part of the reason that door is locked.

[Lewis Gomez]

I don't think I've been to enough Rob and Tug places in my life that I've never seen.

[Mike Rainey]

She always asks, you go, is there a guy?

[Zach Amico]

If there is a guy here.

[Lewis Gomez]

I've called Rob and Tug places and have been like, oh, hey. And then a guy answered, answers. And then I'm like, I'm. I'm shaded out by it. Even if it's just, like, a guy who, like, owns it or is a part of it. I'm like, no, that's weird. Dude. I want an old lady.

[Mike Rainey]

He's the slave master who actually owns them.

[Lewis Gomez]

But you want it. You want a woman. You want a woman. There's nothing sexy about, like, making eye contact with a dude and then going, get a rub and tug, whatever it is. Like, the old lady. You're still kind of like, what's up? You know what I'm going to do? Oh, you pig.

[Zach Amico]

I would prefer her.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, the old lady.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

My first Robin tug was from an actual old woman. And then she didn't even finish me. She just. She was like. She's like, you take too long, you finish yourself. And then I had to jerk off sad while I looked at this old Asian lady.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they hate when you take too long.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Oh, you finished. You finished yourself. I could have just jerked off by myself. That's insane.

[Zach Amico]

Are you a massage guy, Zach?

[Scott Chaplin]

Not yet. I'm making the. I think I'm gonna make. Make the change.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's too much surface area. Yeah, they have too much to cover.

[Zach Amico]

Nice, though. Like, you. You're very massageable.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's the winter months. These are my Time. This is my time.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you honey baked.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, shit. When's the last time you had a rub and tug, Scott?

[Mike Rainey]

I think I got a rub and tug, like, once in my life a long time ago. And what happened when I first moved to the city?

[Lewis Gomez]

She loved you a long time.

[Mike Rainey]

You know why I did it? I was like, I'm allowed to do it. Is because.

[Zach Amico]

Stop an Asian hate.

[Mike Rainey]

There's that Simon and Garfunkel song, the boxer. And he's like, there was times when I was so lonesome, I took some comfort there. He's talking about, like, the horrors on 7th Avenue. And I was like 20 when I moved here. And I was like, I should get a whore on 7th Avenue.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Rainey]

And then I didn't. I went to, like, Chinatown, China, you.

[Lewis Gomez]

Don'T want a Chinatown hooker. I mean, Chinese people in general are pretty disgusting. Like, overall, like, just as a culture, like, they're dirty people. Like, we talk about Puerto Ricans, but, like, nobody would talk about how dirty Chinese people. People are.

[Scott Chaplin]

Like, other Asians are.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Chinese are the Indians of the Orient.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah. Other Asians get in hard on the Chinese.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. The Chinese. Like, you want to. Like, you never get a Japanese rub and tug.

[Mike Rainey]

There was an open mic that we used to do, and there was a place next door, and they were like gorgeous Puerto Rican women. But I never did it. But I regret it. I wish I did. It's rare, right, that you walk into a place and they're Puerto Ricans.

[Lewis Gomez]

It is rare. But, yeah, I mean, it does exist. I used to really. I used to have a full fledged sex addiction back in the day. So I used to get all the rub and tugs you can get. You finally, there'd be lineups. They would come out. You pick the ones you like.

[Mike Rainey]

Something Asian, though.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, but there's Puerto Rican ones, too, in, like, Times Square area back in the day. Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, they would line up. It was. Yeah, I don't know if it exists anymore, like, the lineups in New York City, but I feel like they. I feel like the Internet has changed it. Because back in the day, what you would do is you would get the Village Voice. And in the back of the Village Voice, there was sections and it was like trannies. It was like body work.

[Scott Chaplin]

You pretty much stopped there.

[Lewis Gomez]

It was bodywork. There was escorts. And it was categorized into the different sections. Like the. It was also in the Help Wanted sections. Like, Help wanted. Fucking lost cats. Trannies. It's like, that was a lost trannies. And you Would show up at a place, and there was, like, places that were, like, answers to bubbles. But that was it. There was. I guess it was Craigslist, but Craigslist took all of, like, the sex work off of Craigslist at one point, and it only became the Village Voice. I mean, I remember there being times, like, in the winter where I was. I walked, like, multiple blocks, like 20 blocks, trying to find a Village Voice. Like, you'd get to the stand, like, there's a Village Voice. You'd open up, it was gone. I was like, oh, I need a hooker number. And, yeah, you would show up, and, yeah, they would line up, and you'd be like, well, that's my gal for the day.

[Zach Amico]

I never got to pick my hookers, man. I went to Mexico once to pay for sex, and she was just designated to me. And then the times I went to Philly, washy, washy, it was always right after an Eagles game. So it will be packed. And it was first come, first served. There was never the lineup. If you were next, you just got whatever lady was next.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, that'll happen, too, but you can just say no. Can I see another one? Oh, you have to have some fucking balls here. Once again, this is just, like, too polite. It's like taking a phone call on a cab. You're the boss, Zach. You don't have to ask for permission. You'd be like, next. Give me a different one. That's. I'll wait till she's done in that room.

[Zach Amico]

You're. You're much more bold than I am.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, well, I don't want to hurt the horse feelings.

[Zach Amico]

I know.

[Lewis Gomez]

Isn't it weird that we don't want to hurt horse feelings? That's really what it comes down to is, like, I don't want to make her feel bad. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I want to be, like, the nice master to the sex.

[Lewis Gomez]

I did that before where I called a. And it was one picture, and then she shows up and she's just ugly. And you're like, oh, I don't want to hurt this horse feeling. So then you end up paying an ugly person for sex.

[Zach Amico]

Was it even close?

[Lewis Gomez]

No, not even close.

[Scott Chaplin]

Same race?

[Lewis Gomez]

No.

[Scott Chaplin]

Then, yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, it's crazy. It's absolutely crazy.

[Zach Amico]

What did you think you were getting.

[Lewis Gomez]

Like, a hot, you know, 10 for $105 an hour?

[Scott Chaplin]

Something completely unrealistic.

[Lewis Gomez]

But, I mean, what they're doing is they're banking on the fact that once you're there, you're not going to be mean. And also, you're horny. And she could be like, all right, let me just fucking get it out. Out. Which is what it was. Which is what happened, literally. Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Lewis Gomez]

How long has it been since you got laid?

[Shannon]

It'll be seven years in March.

[Lewis Gomez]

Seven years.

[Zach Amico]

Do you feel like you're going to break the curse soon, though?

[Shannon]

No, there's like. No, there's.

[Lewis Gomez]

Shannon, can I buy you a gigolo for Christmas to have sex with you? No.

[Shannon]

I feel like we may have had this discussion maybe a few years ago.

[Lewis Gomez]

Did we?

[Shannon]

Maybe? Yeah, because. Yes, we did. Because we looked through the Cowboys for Angels website and looked at the guys and.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, didn't Christina Hutchinson Christensen from the Guys who Podcast buy one of them for like, market research?

[Shannon]

Yeah, she did. She had sex with them and she loved. She. She's like really happy with the decision to.

[Lewis Gomez]

Why? Why not? Why not? Let. Let's just get you a hunk to just pound you the out and just put you to bed one night. I don't know.

[Shannon]

I'm not really interested in that part. Like, I'm looking for Shannon.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm going to ask you something that I asked my great grandma a long time ago.

[Shannon]

I'm not answering.

[Lewis Gomez]

Do you still get wet down there?

[Shannon]

I. I'm. It's still like a functional human being.

[Lewis Gomez]

It still functions. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So, wait, what's the Cowboys for Angels program?

[Lewis Gomez]

It's a Big Brother for pussy.

[Scott Chaplin]

Some of them are big brothers.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's male hookers. It's male hookers. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Which I'm sure, like. Yeah, it's. They're probably more expensive too, right? Because they work less.

[Scott Chaplin]

I think it's a very pro, like, setup too. Like they're registered like they're. They're full time.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, also, like, how much gay sex do they have? Are they also men available? Because if it's. They're also available for men. My assumption is it's 99% gay sex that they're having. And then once in a while, those.

[Scott Chaplin]

Are cowboys that are about to become Angels.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Cowboys for Angels is only men for women then?

[Shannon]

I believe so. Here I picked a random one just so you could see the prices.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, Shannon, look at Z.

[Shannon]

So expensive.

[Lewis Gomez]

How much is it?

[Shannon]

Two hours. 8:50.

[Zach Amico]

That's nice.

[Lewis Gomez]

Two hours. Shannon, I'm letting you know a high end female hooker for two hours is a lot more than that.

[Mike Rainey]

Well, it's like renting a lot more car.

[Lewis Gomez]

Zayn's rate is actually really affordable. He's 511 though. Shannon, that's not what you Want. You want like a six foot.

[Shannon]

He's cheap because he's short.

[Lewis Gomez]

We're gonna read Shannon.

[Mike Rainey]

We're gonna imagine 4,500 for a day with this guy. That's crazy.

[Scott Chaplin]

Scott's not even gay. That's just a good bargain.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, no that's really. He's a guy, he probably tells great stories. He's funny.

[Zach Amico]

The two hour rate is good. The full day rate is insane.

[Lewis Gomez]

Can I just pay him to be my friend? Can we play video games together?

[Mike Rainey]

Oh my gosh.

[Lewis Gomez]

It would be cheaper to have him be my full time driver than what I pay for my Audi currently. Shannon, can we find like a 6 foot 3? Like who's the guy that you would want? I remember doing this a while ago on the show, but Shannon, I think.

[Scott Chaplin]

A lot of the guys are like Indian.

[Zach Amico]

Oh no.

[Shannon]

The New York guys kind of suck. He has the New York guys. I mean this guy sucks.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. These guys are all ugly.

[Mike Rainey]

Ugly bunch of losers.

[Lewis Gomez]

What's funny is we. How long did we do this? A lot of these guys are still the same guys. I remember Justin because I remember passing him over because Shannon would never be with a black person. So I remember being like, well, Justin's handsome but 62 though.

[Shannon]

Oh, he's cheaper.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it's good, right?

[Scott Chaplin]

It does feel weird to put a price. It does feel awkward.

[Mike Rainey]

Can you have like a beer belly and be on this website?

[Lewis Gomez]

Maybe.

[Shannon]

I think this first guy probably has a beer belly. Marco.

[Lewis Gomez]

Let's see him. Let's see Marco. I mean that's kind of what you're into though. This five, this boy for £240. Let's see him with a shirt off. He loves dogs.

[Shannon]

Oh, there we go.

[Lewis Gomez]

I mean he could be a little more shredded.

[Shannon]

His hairline is a little weird.

[Lewis Gomez]

He's got shitty. A shitty chest. So you can't sell your body and have your body look like that.

[Shannon]

750. He's also cheaper. That first guy, Zane is a real person.

[Lewis Gomez]

He could probably the out of you. How does it say how big his. Because that would be a big part of it, right?

[Shannon]

I mean I don't want it to be a gigantic one. I feel like that would be scary.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you're getting in pretty good shape right now. Would you consider being a cowboy for an angel maybe?

[Lewis Gomez]

I mean, dude, 22000 a week. I would only offer weekly rates. It's not bad.

[Scott Chaplin]

Just like your regular relationships.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. If I showed up though, I would be like. And the woman will be disappointed. It's like when I. When I call for a hot chick and some big fat African woman shows up. Like, now I gotta this thing. It's like me, I take my clothes off and I have this little dick and just pumping away into you. You don't want that. I don't know. Nobody's paying for that, brother.

[Zach Amico]

You're an open book and I appreciate that.

[Lewis Gomez]

You think so? Yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

In the end, they pay for it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Physically, they pay for it. Yeah. Shan, I. I think this is a good plan. Just get you. Why not just rub one out? It's so. It's so emotionless. Is. Isn't that the problem? It's not. Don't physically, you don't have the issue. It's like you can't really connect with somebody, and that's why you haven't done.

[Shannon]

That in a while, right? Yeah. So that's why it's like the. The sex part. It's not worth spending that money on.

[Lewis Gomez]

It because you're not spending the money, though. We're gonna spend the money.

[Shannon]

But if I just wanted to videotape.

[Lewis Gomez]

It and let us jerk off to.

[Scott Chaplin]

It, I think that's fair.

[Shannon]

If I wanted to just have sex with somebody, like, I could call an ex boyfriend.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, but you want to do that with an ex boyfriend. You want just a strange guy. You make him dress up like Batman. Oh, I would make him dress up like Batman the whole time. He would have to do the voice. He'd have to wear the mask. I might just do this.

[Scott Chaplin]

I'm a Batman dude. How bad would that up, James?

[Lewis Gomez]

What if he caught Batman? Me?

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

We watched Batman Begins last night, so he's really into Batman right now.

[Mike Rainey]

He hasn't seen Dark Knight yet.

[Lewis Gomez]

Is Dark Knight the one with the Joker?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, he did. He did. He didn't watch him in order. He just wanted to watch the Dark Knight first. But you don't really have to watch them in order. Daughter. Yeah, no, not at all. But solid. Christian Bale's the Christian. That was a great Batman.

[Zach Amico]

Did you ever pretend you're a Batman with dead parents?

[Lewis Gomez]

No, but I. I mean, I do have that origin story. Yeah. And Batman Begins they. Yeah, the way they. The way. Because they always re. They always redo the parents death. You know, the way they did it in Batman Begins was. It was good. It was good. It was solid. The guy in the original Batman was Jack Nicholson, who killed him. Right.

[Scott Chaplin]

The reveal was that. Yeah. That he was the hitman. And it's Joe Chill and begins. Right. It's Richard brake.

[Zach Amico]

I don't remember.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, yeah. Richard Break is Joe chill.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, it would know. It's pretty good. I thought it was pretty. I hadn't seen it in a while, but yeah, it was like a crazy person in the street just robbing them, you know. But the dad handles it the right way. He's like, yo, just take the money. Go. That's that, that's that. Then he it all up. Bang. No, he go. He points the gun at the mother and then he jumps in the way of the mother and then he goes, bang. Bang. Yeah, but why at that point would you just kill the kid? I want to leave no witnesses, you know. All right, well, what are you gonna do? Batman talk, folks. Shannon, what else? Give me something else. I'm going to do a two hour show today, then we're going to wrap this one up. Shannon. Dealer's choice. Shannon, what do you want? What do you think we should talk about?

[Shannon]

Okay, so there's a. Have the video of the guy who freaks out at McDonald's. Speaking of McDonald's. And apparently what happened is they served him his burger in a crushed box. And so when he said something about it, the worker said to him, are you going to eat the box? And then this guy freaked out. And that's where this video starts. I don't know.

[Lewis Gomez]

Maybe Big Mac attack.

[Shannon]

I don't think there's sound.

[Scott Chaplin]

And this is Brazil.

[Shannon]

I think I have to double check. Look.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, I've been that guy before. Oh, who's this guy? Get. Mind your business, buddy.

[Mike Rainey]

What are we defending?

[Lewis Gomez]

What do you pull out of his pocket? This guy pulled something out of his pocket, though. The other guy. Also, if. If I am wronged in a customer service environment and I decide to throw the register. Mind your fucking business. Like, who are you?

[Zach Amico]

But I wonder if they got security there.

[Lewis Gomez]

Maybe.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, that might be uniform security. If it's like the hood, maybe.

[Lewis Gomez]

I don't know. I mean, I've been there before. I freaked out on plenty of McDonald's. Just establishments in general. Places that. Yeah. Places that have wronged me in one way or another. And then the move and I. This used to be my actual go to move. Like if I'm having an argument with the employee and we can't resolve it through our argument, I'll throw everything onto the floor and go clean that up now. And then I walk out as I watch them cleaning up candy bars. Yeah, I've done that multiple times. No, I mean it has maybe been a. Oh, I did it right here at this deli. Not that long ago, I was. I was banned from that deli. But she was wrong.

[Zach Amico]

What's usually the trigger for you?

[Scott Chaplin]

Inconvenience. What's beyond not inconvenience?

[Lewis Gomez]

They're called convenience stores, Zach.

[Scott Chaplin]

Being.

[Lewis Gomez]

I hate false advertising.

[Scott Chaplin]

Being wronged.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, I was wronged. I was wrong. What was the reason with this store, do you remember?

[Scott Chaplin]

Wasn't something. It was like the credit card minimum. And then you needed something, and she wanted you to pay for your credit card again.

[Lewis Gomez]

So. Yeah, so I. I bought a sandwich and whatever with my credit card. There's a minimum of 10 bucks or whatever. Right. And then what did I. What did I want extra?

[Scott Chaplin]

Like a protein drink?

[Zach Amico]

No, you wanted the bag.

[Lewis Gomez]

She wanted to charge you for that. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. So then I wanted a bag. Oh, yeah.

[Scott Chaplin]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm justified. Oh, I am justified. So I got a sandwich. I got, like, a drink. I got. It's about, like, 15 bucks or whatever. And then she goes, I was cool. And she's like. And I pay. I pay with a credit card. So then she's like. I was like, oh. I was like, let me get a bag. She's like, that'll be another 25 cents. And I was like, all right, you're my credit card. She's like, there's an eight dollar minimum. I was like, I just gave.

[Zach Amico]

That's insane.

[Lewis Gomez]

I was like, I just gave you. She was like. She's like, yeah, that's that. And she's had this attitude. And I'm not the only person who. That girl's given an attitude.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, ladies.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, she sucks. No, she's real nasty. And I was like, are you out of your mind? So we started arguing. It wasn't even that. It wasn't the bag necessarily. It was the escalation of the argument and her being like, yeah, you. I don't care. Like, just a shitty ass. She's a Chinese girl, but she's like, hood, like, ghetto. She talks like a. Like a black chick, right? So she was just. Super attitude. He said. I was like, yo, you. And then I. I took all the candies off the counter and I threw them onto the floor. And some guy tried to jump in. Some guy was like, hey, man. I was like, hey, man, nothing. Justice is served. And I left. Now Jorge has to get my sandwiches.

[Scott Chaplin]

Yeah, she escalated it by calling Lewis racist when he was not being racist.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Scott Chaplin]

She made it racial.

[Lewis Gomez]

She called me racist. That's right. She's like, you're racist. And I was like, first of all, you've never seen my podcast. How do you know that?

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah, so the last time we had breakfast, lunch, whatever it was, the place just. They weren't accommodating and all the food sucked, right? And the whole time you were just like, I am unhappy. That's what you were letting her know. Like she was a bitch too, Right. But instead of like yelling, you were just like, I don't like this. Like, every time she came by you, I've gotten.

[Lewis Gomez]

I've definitely got. I've calmed down a lot in my old.

[Mike Rainey]

You had to let her know you were furious with her and the place. But it was just like, I try.

[Lewis Gomez]

To make it funny most of the time. Even if I'm getting bad service or some mistakes, I'm trying to make it funny and I'll be a little ball busty or whatever, but it just depends on how they react to it. If they start reacting like a cunt to me, like I'm making a joke about this, it's kind of sucking, right? But they start acting like a cunt, then it'll turn into like a. It'll esk a little. It'll turn into an incident. But it's been a while since I've had an. That was the last time I had an incident like that. And that one felt very justified. And the time before that was maybe a decade before that where like took everything off the counter and threw it all onto the floor. And this time, the last time I did before that, I remember that I wasn't justified. Well, I was, but I really wasn't. This is, this is a little insight into my psyche.

[Zach Amico]

Zachary, you're a freak out guy.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, the I. This is back in the day, I used to have a boost mobile phone shocker. This is we're talking about during the, like when I was selling comedy tickets for Stand Up New York back in the day. Like, this is 20 years ago, I had a Boost mobile phone. And if you guys remember Boost Mobile, you would have to buy a Boost Mobile card and you'd reload your phone, your cell phone minutes, right? And this is, this is crazy. This is actually a crazy person behavior. And I'm, I'm actually, as I'm saying it, I'm embarrassed of this behavior. But it's the truth. This is who I was. So what would happen is this is actually classic scam that you. This is. But this is how you. This is how scam that Jews come about in your life. They Accidentally fall into your lap and you figure out little fun scams, right? So I would buy these Boost mobile calling cards, and one out of every 12 times or so, the card wouldn't work. You try to put the money on the card and it just wouldn't take or whatever. It was like a faulty card. So you'd have to go back to the deli and be like, yeah, the card didn't work. And then they give you a different card. But after knowing that, you can go like, oh, I can just say the card's faulty. They would have no idea. So this one time I put the money on the phone, then I went back to go get the money back or get another card, and I was lying. But it had really happened before. It could happen. But the guy was like, no. And I was like, wait, no. And he was like, no. And so. But I reacted with the rage that they were, like, taking money out of my child's hand. Like the. I reacted like. Like, how dare you. But it was. Do you get what I'm saying? Do you understand why I got a certain point? It's not even. It's not even committing. I just. I really was mad because he didn't know that that wasn't a real Bruce Mobile faulty card. He was just saying, no. I'm getting mad as I think about it right now. And, yeah, I took. It was like a plastic case with, like, you know, they have the candy bar stacked in the plastic case and the whole thing. I just swiped it onto the ground and then ran out.

[Zach Amico]

Indian guy.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yep. Indian guy chased me out. So I will admit that that's wrong now. Yeah, you've grown 20 years later. I will tell you right now that that is wrong.

[Zach Amico]

Would you ever consider going back in there to offer peace?

[Lewis Gomez]

That's actually a great idea. You wonder if. I wonder if it's still the same guy. Could be. It's the. The deli on Broadway between 78th and 79th street, right by Santa. New York. A little, like, magazines shop, where you buy, like, magazines and candy bars and like that. So if you guys want to go apologize for me, you can do that. What's the. What's the biggest time you freaked out in public?

[Zach Amico]

The last one. I took my. My son to the supermarket, and I wanted him to be more assertive. So he wanted buffalo chicken from the deli, so I wanted him to do it. So he went up and did it, and the guy that was cutting the meat was this old weirdo, and he went to hand the. The chicken to My son. And my son reached for it, and the guy took it back, and he said, what's your name, young man? My son said, mikey. And then he said, mikey what? And at that point.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, that's weird as it is.

[Zach Amico]

And that's when I got involved. And when I. I said, why are you asking him his last name?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He said, whatever, man. And then I just started screaming at him, and then it became a whole thing, and then management got involved and completely justified.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, justified 100. You know, also, you get into dad mode. You're, like, protecting your kids. Like, why are you asking my kid's full name, you weirdo?

[Zach Amico]

There's no reason for it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. No reason to ask a kid's name at all. No reason to really communicate with a kid. Yeah. Like, I love kids. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Just.

[Lewis Gomez]

I have a kid. I love kids. I'll see kids now, like, in. In the. The airport. And, like. But you can't, you know, And I.

[Mike Rainey]

Call it, like, naming a place you see kids.

[Lewis Gomez]

I can't. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

These poor kids are being trafficked, and Lewis is, like, playing tricks with them, pulling quarters behind their ears.

[Lewis Gomez]

I mean, it's. It's like, you know, I like their handcuffs. I. For a lack of a better word, I like to flirt with children when I see them. Right. Just. Just. No other word for it. Right. You. Hey, good. You, peekaboo. All that. That's like kid flirting, right? I love that. That's adorable.

[Zach Amico]

Kid flirting is a great phrase.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. I love the kid flirt. We all love the kid flirt. Who? Any parent in the world world loves the kid flirt. Right? You see a little cute, but what you got to do is you have to first acknowledge the parent. You have to make, oh, your kid's adorable, so cute. Then you do it. You don't just start communicating with the kid and leave the parent out of the communication.

[Mike Rainey]

It's the opposite of like a. If you see a dog here, you have to, like, address it and be sweet.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, no, even with a dog, you should probably ask the owner if.

[Mike Rainey]

Just talk.

[Lewis Gomez]

The dog's cool.

[Mike Rainey]

Well, you don't pet a random dog, but you talk to a random dog without acknowledging the owner.

[Lewis Gomez]

I think people need to mind their businesses. I think people need to not jump in people's. But if you go to the parent first and you say, hey, can I flirt with your child? Can I have a moment to flirt with your boy?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

And if they give you permission, I think that that's okay, you know? When's the last time you freaked out in Public Scott.

[Mike Rainey]

I don't really freak out in public. Maybe like two years ago, I was pulling out of a spot. I was wrong. I almost hit someone. So then they honked at me. And then I was like, fuck you. And then they rolled the window down and were like, what did you say? And it was like a black guy with all his friends. And I said. I said, fuck you, nigger.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's what you said.

[Mike Rainey]

And then they all circled the car. And as they do and then. And I just wasn't backing down. And I just dropped my ex off somewhere. So she was watching it happen. I didn't know she saw it all happen. And one of them was just like, giving me dead eyes. And I was like, you saw that in a movie. Like, I was just like, flipping out in my car. But I was also petrified. And then she came over.

[Scott Chaplin]

What do you call a swarm of black guys? Because it's definitely not a school.

[Mike Rainey]

And I was just like, shouting in my car at them. And then she was like, stop.

[Lewis Gomez]

You know you're gonna get murdered here.

[Mike Rainey]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. What about you, Zach? When I'll be freaked out in public?

[Scott Chaplin]

I don't think I have any.

[Lewis Gomez]

You're not a public freak out guy.

[Scott Chaplin]

I mean, maybe I've yelled at cab drivers recently. More. Yeah, I don't think I have any, like, big fucking flip outs. Oh, when Domino's delivered my pizza with a slice missing.

[Mike Rainey]

No.

[Scott Chaplin]

That's so fucking mad. This fucking Indian forgot. I ordered cheesy bread and pizza. He just brought the cheesy bread and just hands me this little cheesy bread. And I'm like, this can't be what you think I ordered, right? And he's like, I would be back. And I'm like, to your car or to the store? And then he came back and brought a pizza with a slice missing, which means he gave it to someone else. They ate a slice, he came back, took the box, and I flipped the fuck out. Like, I screamed at him, he said he was gonna go replace it. Never came back. And then I cursed out the store. I called UberEats and cursed at the. I lost my mind. It was the fattest moment. I've never screamed and cursed, actually the.

[Zach Amico]

Guy'S name, so it's appropriate.

[Scott Chaplin]

I was furious.

[Lewis Gomez]

I freaked out yesterday and I couldn't.

[Scott Chaplin]

Post it because people would be like, you don't need the pizza.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, that sucks when you can't post it.

[Scott Chaplin]

I can't post because it's just gonna be people being like you saving your life.

[Lewis Gomez]

Dude, Yeah, I freaked out yesterday. My neighborhood is being riddled with PSCNG workers. PSNG is the electric company.

[Scott Chaplin]

You have to answer questions to get in.

[Lewis Gomez]

And the, the. They've been blocking off my entire, like the whole, the whole town. They're just digging up the earth and they're putting in new pipes. Yeah, I don't know what, I don't know what it is. They're just. The earth is being dug up and underneath my town they're re piping it. Right. Whatever that means. But every day is a new detour. Like in my direct, like, like development, like where I live. Like, you can't, you can't. One day you can't make a left. One day you can't make. There's no rhyme or reason to it. You got to detour all around just to get to my son's school, which is a 35 second drive from my door and now takes me like four or five minutes, which I know doesn't sound like a lot of time, but it's a lot like when you have to go like around into another area or all around on a highway and.

[Scott Chaplin]

Then come back around and you're already 20 minutes late. Pick them up.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, it's. I'm dropping them off typically, so, you know, I'm. That it's so irritating. And yesterday I was coming home and they had like, there's on between the two blocks, there's three houses. There's my house, another house and another house, and then there's both. It's all cut off just in front of these three houses. It's detour that way, detour that way. And it's cones blocking it. So I'm coming in and I see that I'm like, oh, well, I live there so I can drive, you know. Would you live there? You could drive through the cones, right? And just a PSENG employee was like, yo, man, streets closed like that. Like one of the, like real big son. I, I slapped the car and rolled out my window. I was like, yeah, man, I live right there. He's like, doesn't matter. Streets closed. And I was like, doesn't matter. Are you out of your mind? I live right there. Are you gonna stop? Then I turn into me. Are you gonna stop me? What are you gonna do to stop me? This is how, immediately how quickly I go. And he's got like a stick in his hand and he says something and then something else. And I was like, motherfucker. I was like, suck my dick. He goes, yeah, that's real Gay. You want me to suck your dick? Then I got out of the car because you don't call me gay in my neighborhood. And then all the other employees come over. One of the guys came. He was driving, you know, the. The. It's the thing that rolls, like, flat in the road. He just drives over slow on that.

[Scott Chaplin]

Oh, it's like Austin Power.

[Zach Amico]

He's got the faggot flat.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, dude. Faggot flattener. And. Yeah. Then I start arguing with all of them and there's like, yeah. And I'm like, yeah. All. You know, I just turned to a Puerto Rican whatever is when I see red. I really just have to, like, to calm myself down.

[Zach Amico]

Try kid flirting, man.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm cur. I'm cursing at them. There's no kids to flirt with. I don't know what to do with this energy. So I'm yelling at them, I'm cursing at them. And then at that point, I'm real. I'm starting to realize that, like, there's four of them. Not that they're gonna beat me up, but just that I can't really be threatening people with witnesses. So then I see a copy parked at the other end of the road. And then I sped over to the cop and I lied and I said that they were threatening me. You raped me. I was like, sir, they're flirting with kids over there. You need to get over there. I was, yeah, they through. I was like, I tried to. I tried to drive through. I'm trying to go home. They're yelling at me. They're cursing at me. They're calling me gay. I was like, that's crazy, officer. He's like, I'll talk to them. And he went over and he started talking to them.

[Scott Chaplin]

He just went. Spicks, huh?

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, all right, we're done. We're done. This is a two hour episode. You guys are welcome. Just putting them out there like that. We'll check you guys on Friday, our exclusive episode with the on the gate Boys. Great show. Thank you guys for being here. Great. Thank you for having me, guys. If I don't see you before Christmas, Merry Christmas.

[Zach Amico]

Same to you.

[Lewis Gomez]

And we'll check you guys next time on the Lewis and Zach show. Single boys. When they make a noise. Second.