0020. Allie Mae and Tim McLaughlin

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Luis and Zac Show – Episode 0020: Allie Mae and Tim McLaughlin

Release Date: December 19, 2024
Hosted By: GaS Digital Network
Title: Allie Mae and Tim McLaughlin

---

Introduction

In Episode 0020 of The Luis and Zac Show, hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico welcome their regular guests, Allie Mae and Tim McLaughlin. The episode, marked by the show's signature unfiltered humor and unapologetic banter, delves into a variety of topics ranging from the challenges of stand-up comedy to personal anecdotes involving car mishaps and interactions with audiences.

---

Comedy and Personal Experiences

Stand-Up Struggles:
The episode opens with a candid discussion about the difficulties of performing stand-up comedy. Zac Amico shares a personal story about bombing a set where he attempted controversial jokes, specifically touching on sensitive subjects. Allie Mae recounts witnessing the fallout from Zac's performance, highlighting the negative reactions from the audience.

• Notable Quote:
  Zach Amico [02:00]: "I made them uncomfortable. I have a bit, and I don't want to ruin it because it's a good bit."

Car Troubles and Upgrades:
Zac transitions into talking about his recent car troubles, detailing how he totaled his Audi due to costly repairs, particularly expensive headlights. This mishap leads him to consider purchasing an Acura, which he believes offers better value and reliability. The conversation humorously explores the stigma associated with different car brands and the financial strains of vehicle maintenance.

• Notable Quote:
  Zach Amico [10:17]: "Audi headlights are $4,000 a pop. Just the headlights."

---

Dog Attacks and Animal Encounters

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing negative encounters with dogs. Allie Mae shares her experience of being bitten by a dog while working at a bar, leading to a heated conversation about pet ownership and public safety. The hosts express strong opinions on dog behavior, ownership responsibilities, and the broader implications of animal control in public spaces.

• Notable Quote:
  Allie Mae [43:31]: "I was at work when I got bit by a dog. It was just a terrible experience."

Discussion Points:

• The unpredictability of animals despite responsible ownership.
• Personal anecdotes about encounters with aggressive dogs.
• The emotional and physical impact of dog attacks on individuals.

---

Controversial Humor and Audience Reactions

Luis and Zac continue their trademark irreverent humor by addressing controversial topics and interacting with their audience in real-time. The conversation often veers into provocative territory, touching on sensitive issues with a comedic twist. This approach sometimes leads to mixed reactions, reflecting the show's commitment to pushing boundaries.

• Notable Quote:
  Zach Amico [23:17]: "I am the number one podcaster in the world."

---

Contests and Giveaways

Towards the end of the episode, Zac announces a giveaway contest for an Oculus 3S headset. Listeners are encouraged to subscribe to Gas Digital using a specific promo code to enter the contest. This segment is interspersed with humor and light-hearted banter, maintaining the show's energetic vibe.

• Notable Quote:
  Zach Amico [95:24]: "We're giving away an Oculus 3S to one lucky subscriber. Make sure you're subscribed!"

---

Sponsorships and Advertisements

The episode features sponsorship segments promoting various products and services. While these segments provide necessary funding for the podcast, they are kept brief to ensure the focus remains on the hosts' conversations and interactions.

---

Conclusion

Episode 0020 of The Luis and Zac Show encapsulates the essence of the podcast: fearless comedy, unfiltered discussions, and dynamic interactions with guests and listeners. Despite navigating through controversial topics and personal anecdotes, the hosts maintain their distinctive style, offering listeners an engaging and entertaining experience.

Final Thoughts:
Listeners are reminded to subscribe for exclusive content and future giveaways. The episode concludes with well-wishes for the holidays and a tease for upcoming shows, keeping the audience anticipating more wild and unapologetic content from Luis and Zac.

---

Disclaimer:
This summary aims to provide an overview of the podcast episode while adhering to content guidelines. Some discussions in the episode involve sensitive and potentially offensive topics. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

[Lewis Gomez]

After investing billions to light up our network, T Mobile is America's largest 5G network. Plus right now you can switch. Keep your phone and we'll pay it off up to $800. See how you can save on every plan versus Verizon and at&t. @t mobile.com.

[Zach Amico]

Keepandswitch up to four lines via virtual prepaid card.

[Lewis Gomez]

Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device credit.

[Zach Amico]

Service ported 90 plus days with device ineligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Lewis Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network. You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko. Red dot headshot for the Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper. And it came to attack, spilling crack on the track. What's up, baby boys? Week before Christmas, it's the Lewis and Zach show. I am the Puerto Rican rattlesnake Lucia Gomez, maybe the best podcaster in the world. A lot of people say that.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, people are saying.

[Zach Amico]

A lot of people are saying that. I mean, there. Is there a better podcaster? I'll admit there's some better comics. Like four or five podcasters.

[Ally Mae]

Three of them are sitting here now.

[Zach Amico]

You dirty. Do you think you're a better comic than me? Ally, are you out of your mind? You know what, Shannon, pull up. Ali, stand up. We're gonna get into it today on the show. We're gonna really review. Ally, there's not a single female comic that's actually better than me. That's a fact.

[Lewis Gomez]

Who does hardcore history?

[Zach Amico]

Who's that?

[Lewis Gomez]

That's a good podcast. What about that guy?

[Zach Amico]

That guy? Yeah. Let me tell you something. Hardcore history. Suck my dick. Whoever he is. I don't even give a. The.

[Lewis Gomez]

He's my.

[Zach Amico]

They're in a better podcaster in the land. They're in a better duo in podcasting. Me and Zach, amico.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I'll.

[Zach Amico]

I'll.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I'll support that one.

[Zach Amico]

That I can z the duo. Ali May.

[Ally Mae]

Yo, what up?

[Zach Amico]

How you feeling, girl?

[Ally Mae]

Oh, you know, I'm just trying to get it all figured out over here.

[Zach Amico]

You're a goddamn mess. Ally. Her car is being towed right now.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, is someone going up there and paying you?

[Zach Amico]

We got to get somebody to go put money in Ally's meter. Ally came down, and she was. She. I. She couldn't figure out the meter, so she just gave up on it. Yeah, that is it. That is some insight into the. The mind of Allie Mae right there. How her Mind works. She just gave up on it. It's gonna create so many more problems for herself with a ticket that's not gonna be paid. Probably they're gonna add more interest to it. You're gonna get your license suspended. The writing is on the wall, Allie.

[Tim McLaughlin]

At least somebody showing interest in you.

[Ally Mae]

What's that?

[Tim McLaughlin]

At least you're gonna finally get some interest.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, finally. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Blue J. Ekerson says Joan Rivers is better than me. She's dead, though. I'll give. I'll give Joan Rivers that credit. Joan Rivers was a fucking beast. The only female comic better than me is Joan Rivers. Female comics aren't that good. No offense.

[Ally Mae]

Am I about to call you out for something right now?

[Zach Amico]

What did I. What were you calling me out for?

[Ally Mae]

Oh, we already know. Now he's backtracking. What did I do the last time you were on Drip, Lewis got up and I bombed.

[Zach Amico]

I did Bomb.

[Ally Mae]

Opened his set by saying women aren't funny after a girl just went up and had a good set. Fucking ends up.

[Zach Amico]

I had, and I mean this, the worst set of my life. Wow.

[Ally Mae]

And I couldn't even hear anything that was happening. All I know is I was staying in the hallway waiting for someone to call me up to go up next, and I heard the host go, you guys ready for another comic? And someone goes, anyone but Louis. And I just thought it was, like, some kind of Legion of Skanks fan, like, being funny. So I was like, doo, doo, doo. Get up there. Immediately start, like, fucking, I don't know, making, like, rape jokes or whatever. And I was like, damn, you guys are good. Cause they were funny jokes, and they were like, we just watched someone get sexually assaulted. And I was like, yeah, it was.

[Zach Amico]

I made them uncomfortable. I have a bit, and I don't want to ruin it because it's a good bit.

[Ally Mae]

It's so. It's.

[Zach Amico]

It's a really good bit.

[Ally Mae]

Groundbreaking.

[Zach Amico]

It's a really good bit. Yeah, I don't want to. I do sexually assault an audience member in my act. And let me tell you something. When I'm not a bunch of. In front of a bunch of faggots at the sand, because I will say the sand has the worst fucking crowd in the world. The Stand in the Cellar, two of the best clubs in New York City, their crowd suck dick. All of the people that are in the crowd that aren't fucking actual, they're just fucking. They're there for tiktokers. They're hot chicks that are to watch fucking Natalie Cuomo and some other bitch. And like, that's not real comedy fans. So, yes, I did sexually assault a man.

[Lewis Gomez]

You're like the new Bob Levy in my act.

[Zach Amico]

I did sexually assault a man. It's a great bit. Anybody who's seen that bit live will tell you that it is an incredible bit. But your faggot audience was like, oh, he sexually assaulted. It wasn't real.

[Ally Mae]

What's crazy, though, is that I then went up and had a great set.

[Zach Amico]

I set the table for you. You're welcome.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, you're fucking welcome. He's like, bomb my dick off and keeps walk walking. And I was like, ah, you know, whatever. But multiple people came up to me after the show and said, we thought about calling the cops.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they were really upset. They were really. But this, it proves how unfunny that crowd was. They sucked. They. They were the problem, not me. Point proven. It was mostly women. And they all sat there in horror as I jerked off a man on stage. Whatever.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, spoiler.

[Zach Amico]

You know what? They're gonna. They gotta understand the context, the con. The premise of the joke is that women aren't that funny. Yeah, it really is the premise.

[Ally Mae]

The funniest part is that you get up and you made that the point of. But then you were also.

[Zach Amico]

I honestly, I shouldn't do that act or shouldn't do that bit in New York City. Not in front of my crowd. I will say that. It will.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, that's like when you're in Alabama.

[Lewis Gomez]

Or if you put on a wig.

[Ally Mae]

Places.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, it was good.

[Ally Mae]

It was.

[Zach Amico]

Let me tell you something. It's a fucking great bit. It's going to be. It's likely the opener on my next special. And I promise you, everyone's gonna be like, that's a fucking good.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, you're gonna be in Madison Square Garden and.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's gonna be side splitters Tampa, but it's okay. Incredible show planned today. This is the Lewis and Zach show. Fetchins. Lewis, rate me an email. Fetchins were. Because I did that bit in ems. Crushed. Thank you. Ali Mae is here. Very excited to have her back on the show. We love you from the Madhouse podcast right here on the GAS Digital Network. I say nothing but good things about you, Ali.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, thank you.

[Zach Amico]

You're incredible. You're very funny. Also for the great hang podcast, Tim McLaughlin back on the show. Very excited to have Tim back.

[Lewis Gomez]

What up, everybody?

[Zach Amico]

People love you on the show, dude.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, I'm off today, I think, but that's all Right.

[Zach Amico]

You think you're gonna be off?

[Lewis Gomez]

I feel off. I feel off. But maybe I'll kick it on at some point.

[Zach Amico]

You're gonna be great. Mikdick says Louis, rape me. Bong Hitler says Louis equals nigger. Okay. Is that true?

[Lewis Gomez]

Does that math actually add up?

[Tim McLaughlin]

That's an SAT question.

[Lewis Gomez]

Louis is, too.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Yeah. You get so many points for writing your name and so many points for writing the N word next to Lewis. That's how it went from 1600 to 2100.

[Zach Amico]

Welcome to the show, boys. It's the Lewis and Zach Show. It's a Monday. We all love Mondays. We all love Mondays here. Mondays is another. Another time, another opportunity to start life off right. No way.

[Lewis Gomez]

Garfield's here, baby.

[Zach Amico]

Nope. I'm the opposite of Garfield, baby.

[Lewis Gomez]

Normal.

[Shannon]

I have a quick question. Sorry. Ali, do you really need somebody to go upstairs, put money in your meter?

[Zach Amico]

That was God. It's a woman. That's a God. No, Ali, do you need somebody to go put money in your meter? Yes.

[Ally Mae]

You know, it would.

[Zach Amico]

It would take my card. Somebody go upstairs, put money in your meter. You have to describe your car to them, though.

[Ally Mae]

It's. You can't miss it. It's on the Corner of East 6.

[Zach Amico]

Don't tell. They're listening live right now. They're gonna go and come in your gas tank. Do you know who G original fans are?

[Lewis Gomez]

It's on the corner of Docs and Rape.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, just.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I just pictured a Docs and getting raped, by the way.

[Zach Amico]

Also, I am seeing Ali's handwriting. It's exactly what you think. It's exactly what you think it would be.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, wait, that. Those are. I thought you were testing the pen.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy, Ally.

[Ally Mae]

What?

[Zach Amico]

I think there probably is some sort of correlation between women with shitty handwriting and them being crazy.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Really? I would say it's super neat handwriting because then they're like a Stepford wife fucking robot.

[Ally Mae]

Then they know how to dot their I's and cross their T's. They know how to kill your ass and do all the little details to get rid of the others.

[Zach Amico]

I want to cross your T's, Ally.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Hey, Lewis, could you say you're the opposite of Garfield again?

[Zach Amico]

I'm the opposite of Garfield.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Your mom Odied.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, it's a good one. That was really good candidate for Zach joke of the year.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's good, Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

Next year. We're not gonna do it this year because it's too late. But. But we should do an ongoing count of Zach jokes of the year and at the end of the year, we can just play them all because that was a particularly clever joke.

[Tim McLaughlin]

That was Lewis's way of Shannon telling Shannon to start my In Memoriam reel as we go on.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, we have a great show plan. I'm very excited about today's show. I really am. I really do love Mondays, and I'm feeling good, so. Oh, I'm gonna give them my card, Shannon, so you guys don't have to pay for it or whatever. You pay for it.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna come and get it.

[Zach Amico]

Dom, don't you. Don't memorize this number. Don't take a picture. I know your energy, dude. You're a scumbag, so don't do that. Okay, Here, take the card. Don't show to the camera either. Get it in there, dude.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Put her in for like an hour and a half. We'll be okay.

[Ally Mae]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I was. I. We've been doing longer shows lately, but today won't be longer than an hour and a half because I have to go see a new car. Wow. That's right, boys. Well, not a new car. Used car.

[Ally Mae]

Can we ask what happened to the first car?

[Zach Amico]

Don't be an. I officially have totaled my Audi.

[Tim McLaughlin]

No, it left him for a black guy.

[Zach Amico]

I. I total my Audi. And, yeah, you know, it is what it is. It didn't look total to me. I drove it. Yeah, I feel like you can't drive a totaled car, but that's not the definition. I thought the definition of a total car was, like, it is literally undrivable. It's a wreck.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's totally broken.

[Ally Mae]

The photo was confusing because I feel like that was easily fixable.

[Zach Amico]

The total. A total car is the total cost of the repair equals 80% of the book value of the car.

[Ally Mae]

It just didn't seem like that bad of a crash.

[Zach Amico]

Well, and guess what? Audi headlights are $4,000 a pop. Just the headlights.

[Ally Mae]

That's what you get this time. A Honda.

[Zach Amico]

I'm getting Acura, which apparently everyone's like, that's just a fucking Honda, bro. Acura's or Honda. That is such a poor person mentality. It's. People are going like, dude, you see the fucking Acura logo? It's just a Honda logo. They bent the top of it. It's the fucking. Yes, yes, I understand that. Honda owns Acura. Volkswagen also owns Lamborghini. Dumb fucks. It's. That's the way it works. Volkswagen owns Audi. That's like saying, oh, I'm not gonna get an Audi. I should just Get a fucking Volkswagen Jetta instead. Right? No. You wanna have a nice car?

[Lewis Gomez]

Have you. Speaking of poor person mentality, have you tried going to the junkyard to find an old Audi headlight?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, look, I. It doesn't matter. The insurance. They weren't. I can go now. I can go find the auction where they're auctioning my Audi. Technically. Buy it back for a few thousand dollars and then try.

[Ally Mae]

You should.

[Zach Amico]

That seems like a lot of work. It seems like a lot of effort and energy.

[Ally Mae]

Show up and do it for you, please.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, if you guys. If anybody. If anybody wanted to actually, they would buy my Audi and then fucking film themselves coming all over the seats. Yeah, that's a great troll job. Because that would bother me. Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Troll. Yeah, I would troll you. Guy loves. Come on. His seats.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Acuras are nice. The Acura is better than Audi, says Larry Holder. I don't know if that's true, but Acura is great. Oh, my God. Everyone's saying Acura is good. I don't think that's accurate, Dougie. I think you can't just do bad jokes in my voice, Zach. That's not the way this works. If you have a bad work for you, you thought of the bad joke. Cocksuck. You can't just chip me. You.

[Tim McLaughlin]

That's all I do. Oh, 10 years.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. So 10 years of chipping.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going to see this Audi or, I'm sorry, this Acura right after the show today. And yeah, I'm very excited about it. We'll see. It's used. I'm going to buy it cash outright. You want to see the one? I. I found a. They sent me a video of the car. Like them doing the tour of the car. And the guy that's showing the car, it's exactly who you think would be trying to sell you in Acura. It's hilarious. Let's see, Shannon, how do you give.

[Tim McLaughlin]

A tour of a car like this?

[Zach Amico]

Okay, guys, let's take a look at a 2020 Acura TLX A spec.

[Lewis Gomez]

Let's take a look at this blue one.

[Zach Amico]

This is a wow factor, guys. This is a wow factor, guys.

[Lewis Gomez]

Acura TLX A spec.

[Zach Amico]

I like it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Let's take a look.

[Zach Amico]

Is this too Puerto Rican?

[Lewis Gomez]

It looks nice. I don't think it's too Puerto Rican. You didn't. Did you take the back seats out and put speakers in?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Lewis Gomez]

Okay, then. Puerto Rican yet? I don't think.

[Zach Amico]

Go ahead, Shannon. Going to Be driving if this is for you.

[Lewis Gomez]

2020 Acura TLX.

[Zach Amico]

Look at this blue. Look at this blue. My God.

[Lewis Gomez]

It doesn't get more electrifying than this.

[Zach Amico]

I love this guy. This guy rules.

[Lewis Gomez]

This car is so electrified.

[Zach Amico]

This car is. Is. Can you go see yourself in this car?

[Lewis Gomez]

Zapia.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Big wow factor. Big wow factor. Humongous wow factor. Humongous wow factor.

[Lewis Gomez]

Any other words I can use for big?

[Zach Amico]

Probably. He couldn't. He couldn't think of another word for big.

[Lewis Gomez]

You should give the man a thesaurus. And when you get the car today.

[Tim McLaughlin]

You have to put it in H.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, let's see. Everyone's saying other things. Whatever. It's fine. I'm excited. I'm gonna go test drive this car today. I've been talking to Nick Rochefort, who's become the man. I love Nick Rushwood. He's a man. He's hilarious, and he really is on. He's like, dude, this is the car. Trust me. He was like, get this car. But then he told me. He was like, what you got to do, though, today is you got to take it up to 95 miles an hour and see if it shakes. And I was like, where am I gonna do that? I'm gonna. So my goal. My. I'm gonna. My. What I'm gonna go do now is I'm gonna go take this for a test drive and then hit a highway and get a little funky and wild. What if I crash the car during the test drive? What happens during that?

[Ally Mae]

That.

[Lewis Gomez]

I think you owe them the money.

[Ally Mae]

No, only. No, only you could crash a car during this.

[Zach Amico]

That's.

[Ally Mae]

That.

[Lewis Gomez]

What. How many miles does it have on it?

[Zach Amico]

47,000. Something like that.

[Lewis Gomez]

Pretty good.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty good, dude.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's pretty good.

[Zach Amico]

It's half the miles that I had on my goddamn Audi. Piece of. No, I had, like, 75. I put, like, a lot. I put a lot of miles on my Audi in four years, so.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, you've had it for four years?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. There we go. If you crash during a test drive, the dealership insurance policy will typically cover the damages, as the test driver is usually considered a covered driver under the fleet insurance. However, if you're found to be at fault, your own insurance may be liable.

[Lewis Gomez]

Ooh, running gun. Louis.

[Zach Amico]

What if I don't have insurance? What if I don't have insurance? Which I do still. I have. I. I just call my insurance, and now they. I'm covered still for, like, if I'm driving for this reason specifically. I think I'm just covered. If I crash the car during a test drive.

[Lewis Gomez]

This is coming out after the test drive, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, no, it's out live right now.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, fuck.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. It's fine. They're gonna be okay.

[Lewis Gomez]

I just want you to get away with it scot free.

[Zach Amico]

You want me to get. I'm not going to. I'm not taking the car up to 95 miles an hour.

[Lewis Gomez]

You could be a. If you want.

[Zach Amico]

You think it's a crazy looking car.

[Ally Mae]

It's the kind of car where, like.

[Zach Amico]

If I need your microphone a little bit. Ally.

[Ally Mae]

If I was going on a d.

[Zach Amico]

This is why I say girls aren't that good at comedy. It's not that you're not funny, it's just that you don't understand the little mechanics that comedians need to have, which is talking into the microphone.

[Ally Mae]

Understand the mechanics. I just woke up and I'm trying to put some mascara on.

[Zach Amico]

As soon as we started talking about cars, she was like, I'm a girl.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, yeah. It's like speaking a foreign language. I don't have any idea what you're talking about now. It's the kind of car where, like, if I was going on a date with someone and everything else was great about the date, I'd be like, he did have a blue car. A bright blue.

[Zach Amico]

A bright blue car. That would bother you. I did talk. A chick that I'm talking to right now. I showed her the car. She was like, do you have to get that color?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, I kind of like the color. I saw a black one. The black one looks like plain Jane. Horseshit.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. This is why dudes are cool. Blue cards, a rock. It's fun to look cool.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, yeah.

[Ally Mae]

But then when you drive like an, people can report you easier. That's why I don't have any bumper stickers or anything like that.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing like that.

[Ally Mae]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I guess you're right. But I'm not gonna drive like an. Anymore. That's the thing. I. No more distracted driving, folks. I'm gonna. No, no, I'm making a thing. There. There must be. And I don't know, but I. There must be an app that as soon as you start your car that it's like everything shuts down except for your gps. You can't look at your goddamn phone.

[Ally Mae]

Crash the car.

[Zach Amico]

I'm just a bad driver. Alley. There's just no other.

[Ally Mae]

I was just at a light on your phone.

[Zach Amico]

I was at a red light. I look, I was looking at my phone, at the red light. Then I looked back up, it turned green. I just fucking hit the gas. And there was still a car in front of me. I was looking at the light.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, boy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was just a shit move.

[Ally Mae]

That's really. That's pretty bad.

[Zach Amico]

There's just no other. Like, literally, it was just bad. I was distracted. I have really bad adhd. Right. Which I found. I found out that's a real thing, that people ADHD are way more susceptible to car crashes. It happens a lot. I know.

[Lewis Gomez]

I've been in a bunch of them.

[Zach Amico]

I, I. Have you been.

[Lewis Gomez]

I've been medicated for 25 years, Dougie.

[Zach Amico]

I have horrible ADHD and I, I get distracted, dude. I'll just see a light and I'm.

[Ally Mae]

Like, oh, I crashed my car into a short bus. Bus.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow.

[Ally Mae]

So, yeah, it's add.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it was a long bus, and then. Yeah. Wow. But no, I, I will.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Parents, thank you. Luckily, they all had helmets on.

[Zach Amico]

Crackpot Whisper says Lewis just wants to get back on Adderall. I, I can easily get on Adderall if I wanted to. I was on Adderall. I was diagnosed adhd. I don't want to get on Adderall. It's the. Actually, the opposite. It. I will never be on Adderall again. Wow.

[Ally Mae]

Why?

[Zach Amico]

Why? Because I am a crazy person. When I'm on Adderall, I'm like an actual. I, I am really. I have an addictive personality, so I probably would only need, like, 5 or 10 milligrams to, like, be normal, but within two months, I'm, like, 30s. Let's go. It's not good.

[Ally Mae]

They don't give them to you. When you ask for the specific numbers I have found when, when you say.

[Zach Amico]

No, my guy would.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, you're, You're.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't have to get. I was just like, I need stronger. I need more.

[Lewis Gomez]

The guy I have, I've never even seen in person.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, mine was on Zoom. Yeah, mine was all on Zoom. Yeah, but pretty cool. No, I, I, I would rather try to deal with my own. My own way, work it out. Crash my car five, six times. Sure.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's okay. I'd rather crash my car than be on Adderall.

[Ally Mae]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Just so you know. But I'm not going to crash anymore. I, I'm making a commitment that this car that I'm going to buy, I'm just going to. I'm. I'm not getting a. Actually, it's a blessing in disguise. It's off my financing. I, I, it's, my debt is cleared with that car, which is great. I'm going to get to take the cash. I'm going to buy this car in four years when baby James turns 16. He's going to get a bright blue Acura in perfect condition. Not a single scratch on it.

[Ally Mae]

Oh my God.

[Lewis Gomez]

N the seats.

[Zach Amico]

Nope. And then I'm going to buy myself my dream car. That's going to be my reward is if I get to the four year mark without crashing this Acura and I give it to baby James and this is his first car. I'm going to buy my goddamn dream car.

[Tim McLaughlin]

The Oscar Meyer wiener.

[Lewis Gomez]

If you for real get the wiener mobile. I am riding in that.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah, dude, I'm, dude, if Lewis.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Just wore a bun I drove it, it would be the best.

[Lewis Gomez]

Nothing gets me more jacked up than when I used to like drive all across the country doing stand up and just see the wiener mobile in like the middle of Missouri.

[Zach Amico]

That'd be fun.

[Lewis Gomez]

I was just like, yes.

[Zach Amico]

I mean I should also say I don't have an actual dream car. I'm, I'm not a, I'm not an Audi.

[Ally Mae]

So it's like you can I, here's the thing.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't, I haven't. Look, four years ago I was like, I'm making a little bit of cashola. I was like, let me buy myself a nice car. I had driven in a couple nice Audis. I test drove Alexis. I test drove a Mercedes Benz. I test drove an Audi and the Audi seemed like the mo. First of all, it felt the best to drive.

[Lewis Gomez]

They're nice cars.

[Zach Amico]

It's a really nice car and but it was a mistake. It was just a mistake.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Yeah, you had cashola but unfortunately your ancestors said ola.

[Zach Amico]

It was, yeah, it was a bad mistake. And honestly a lot of people said at the time to get an Acura, they're like, dude, an Acura is one of the best cars you can buy. Resale value, retains its value.

[Ally Mae]

The accident would have happened no matter what.

[Zach Amico]

You were driving the accident. But it wouldn't have been a seventy thousand dollar car with wild insurance.

[Ally Mae]

Right. Right.

[Zach Amico]

So you live, you learn, folks. Okay, let's take a quick moment and thanks Small batch cigar for supporting today's show. We love small batch cigar here on the Lewis and Zach show because they're exactly that. They give you amazing, high quality cigars in small batches. Great interface. If you're looking for new cigars, they're super easy to find. If you want to find the trusted brands that you know and love, they're easy to find. It really is an incredible sponsor and I love their products. They send me cigars all the time. I, I smoke cigars fairly casually, but this is, that's who it's for. Whether you're a hardcore cigar smoker or a casual smoker, or you just have somebody in your life you want to hook up, this is the best way to do it.

[Tim McLaughlin]

That's true. And Lewis, they also have free shipping on every order and almost every order arrives within two to three days within the continental United States. They come in the boveda pack pack. That's 69 humidity with every purchase, so they say super fresh. It's the most thorough packaging in the industry with an amazing selection of rare, limited and hard to find cigars. And you earn 5% rewards points instantly with your purchase.

[Zach Amico]

Just go to smallbatch cigar.com when you go there, use that promo code GAS10. You're gonna get 10 off and 5% rewards points. Once again, smallbatch cigar.com. use that promo code GAS10. All right, where were we? We have a great show planned for today. I'm very excited about today. Tim was talking about. I heard Tim talking about a little scam.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, well, I don't know how well it works because I don't hold on.

[Zach Amico]

Time for another scam. That Jew, folks, presented by Tim McLaughlin.

[Shannon]

It's not, it's not on this package for this show.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna fucking put my package in your face.

[Shannon]

Old segment. It's realist podcast segment.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, is it not funny if I sexually assault Shannon now? Ali.

[Ally Mae]

No, I'm here for that.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, what are we even doing anymore? This is the fucking Lewis and Zach show.

[Ally Mae]

We rape, lose, assaulted a man. So that's. It was gay. That's.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He came up to me after the show. He was like, dude. He was like, I thought that was hilarious. He was like. But I had like 10 people come up to me being like, are you okay?

[Ally Mae]

Literally so many people. I was like, I don't want to.

[Lewis Gomez]

People are such babies.

[Zach Amico]

They're fucking pussies, dude. I, I mean, the, the, the, the people that show up. I mean, the Legion of Skins fans that show up, the Santa are incredible. That's the best audience that they have there. If you could go to an average show, they blow. It's just a bunch of hot people. They're eating mahi mahi and drinking expensive cocktails. You're like, this is just not who you want, douche. You want shitheads at a comedy show. You want people that are trying to forget the problems of their life, not people that are going, let me look at these people. Problems to make me see, to make me to whatever. I don't know.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The.

[Lewis Gomez]

The number one podcaster in the world.

[Zach Amico]

I am the number one podcaster in the world.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I know.

[Zach Amico]

Losing.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Say we do comedy for like Cops and Air Conditioner Repairman. And like, people need to have a union number.

[Zach Amico]

You need to. Everyone agrees that the best comedy clubs in the world are Tampa, Providence, Rhode Island. Right. What do they call them?

[Lewis Gomez]

My friend's basement. A lot of good dudes down there.

[Zach Amico]

What is a place in Providence? Why am I blanking on the name of it right now?

[Tim McLaughlin]

I know what you mean. I can't think of it either.

[Zach Amico]

Comedy connection. What else? Philly helium. People love that fucking club. It's all these blue collar areas with just dudes who. They work 50, 60 hours a week. They're trying to forget about their problems. They just want to come and laugh with their friends, get a little hammered. Not snooty cunts that are doing better than everybody and think they're better than everybody and turn their nose up at you. It's not just me. Any. Most real comics agree with this.

[Ally Mae]

I agree.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

I. I'm not. I'm not disagreeing.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, I love all audiences of all different shapes and sizes myself, but. But I do basic comedy for basic ass.

[Zach Amico]

You know, if you're not. You're not really ruffling any feathers.

[Lewis Gomez]

Tim.

[Zach Amico]

Ruffle some feathers. That's what I say. So we have a scam. That Jew, presented by Tim McLaughlin. Tim, what is this scam? You were saying? Free vapes for life. Well, here we go. We got it.

[Lewis Gomez]

It's not free vapes for life, but. So if you're suffering, you don't even need to be suffering.

[Zach Amico]

I think.

[Lewis Gomez]

Think you can just use your insurance to be in a detox. There's a detox center and they will give you free vapes at the detox center.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, I mean, you could. So you can go to. You can go to a detox center.

[Lewis Gomez]

Go to a detox center. Say I gotta detox off a booze.

[Zach Amico]

Or heroin or something. They don't. They're not testing you. There's no. They're no, they're not.

[Lewis Gomez]

Like, they do test you just to see if you've drank that day or done heroin that day.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, but I haven't. I'm killing it. Right. But I'm really detoxing hard now.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yes, but you can just shake and then just be like, oh, we got to get them in here.

[Zach Amico]

And then give you free vapes.

[Lewis Gomez]

Free vapes?

[Zach Amico]

How many vapes at a time?

[Lewis Gomez]

They. They were saying when I was doing a show at the Detox center recently, great crowd, very sleepy crowd. They were saying that you can get as many vapes as you want.

[Zach Amico]

Wow. Yeah, that's a great fucking. We haven't had a good scam that Jew in a hot minute. And that's a great scam that you. Free vapes for life, folks. All you got to do is go and act like you are detox.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And the Detox center is. If you have insurance, they cover you.

[Lewis Gomez]

They. It shouldn't. It should cover you. Most insurance should cover you. And I think more insurance.

[Zach Amico]

Don't you have to pay.

[Ally Mae]

All you have to do is do a little bit of heroin so that it's in your system.

[Lewis Gomez]

Thank you.

[Ally Mae]

Then go get your test.

[Zach Amico]

No, he's saying you don't need to do the heroin.

[Lewis Gomez]

You don't need to do the heroin. But I think they like to see that you've had.

[Ally Mae]

I like to see it. I have a hard time believing that they're just going to give you methadone and you don't have a. Anything in your piss.

[Lewis Gomez]

Listen, I'm not a doctor. I'm just a guy that knows where vapes are.

[Ally Mae]

Okay, okay, okay. That's fair. All right.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Well, I would say that to you in the street, sir. You look like you know where the vapes are.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm walking around the streets of New York sniffing out vapes.

[Zach Amico]

So you got to do is. Is get a crippling heroin addiction and you get free vapes for life. Or alcoholism.

[Lewis Gomez]

Or alcoholism.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

The last show I did there, a man cried, and he said it was the first time he's laughed in four years.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Lewis Gomez]

And it hurt me to my core.

[Zach Amico]

Damn, dude. I wish I would have gotten that reaction from the guy I sexually assaulted at al show.

[Tim McLaughlin]

He just got the crying part.

[Zach Amico]

Everyone just stared at me like I was committing an actual sex crime.

[Ally Mae]

It's crazy. I wish I could have seen it.

[Zach Amico]

I wish I would have videotaped it, because they. I. It was the. The worst crowd I've ever performed in front of. It was bunkers. Wow. It was bunkers. And by the way, I'll be a bonkers comedy club in Orlando, Florida, on this year's tour. Wow. Lots to talk about today. I'm excited about the actor I will let you guys know how the test drive goes. I'm not going to bring it up to 95. Maybe I'll get it. I'll try to. I'll try to find a stretch of road.

[Ally Mae]

It's 95 is easy. Just get on the 95 is a.

[Zach Amico]

Is very fast. I've driven my Audi a few times. I've hit 100 just because I was like, why not?

[Ally Mae]

That's it.

[Zach Amico]

Because I'm a bad driver. It's dangerous. I can kill people. All those reasons. But it was.

[Tim McLaughlin]

It was pretty fun, though.

[Zach Amico]

But it was really. It was really fun. Really fun. And Zach was in the passenger seat. So I could just hit the turns at 100 miles an hour. Didn't even matter. We didn't slow down on off ramps or anything. It was wild.

[Tim McLaughlin]

We actually were just on top of a hill. He lit the gas.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we have a lot to talk about on today's show. Shannon. We have a contest submission. Let's do it.

[Shannon]

He has a real one this time.

[Zach Amico]

I'm very excited about this. So I am going to Colin Charles wedding in June. I'm trying to find a wedding date. This is a huge win for some lucky gal in the world. All expenses paid. Fly out your own room. You don't have to sucker me. You get to come to Calm Trolls wedding. There'll be lots of famous comedians there.

[Lewis Gomez]

This is a big deal.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. What Snack? Amiko.

[Lewis Gomez]

She's gonna be a snack.

[Zach Amico]

I like that. Don't you get Zach excited right now. Let me see. She's black. Turn it off. Shannon. Are you out of your mind? Are you out of your mind?

[Shannon]

No, I actually really like her.

[Zach Amico]

A black person.

[Lewis Gomez]

She's pretty cute.

[Zach Amico]

I'm kidding. I'm joking. Obviously I'm joking.

[Lewis Gomez]

It is an Irish wedding, though, so I'm worried they will think she's black Irish.

[Tim McLaughlin]

But yeah, I think she's very pretty and we should listen to what she has.

[Zach Amico]

I'm obviously kidding. She's very pretty. She looks like the Little Mermaid. I like that. That. Yes. She looks exactly like a little. I thought it was a little Mermaid at first.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Yeah. There's no reason to make a big thing of this. Do you think maybe she thought it was coontast?

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, no. Zachary.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Donald. Take a chill, Donald. Oh, let's see. No, she's hot. She's very cute. I like her. Unless she's underage.

[Guest]

Hi, my name is Charmaine. I'm 24 years old and I'm entering the contest because I'M a huge fan. Love the podcast. Love all the podcasts. Story wars, Los. All of it. Huge fan. I know I'd be a great day, so I think I'd be the best option to pick my cat. I'd be the best option.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Her smoke alarm sounds like cat.

[Guest]

I'm a huge stand of comedy fan. Like, I love all things stand up. So obviously that's why I'm a big fan of the podcast. Also, I'm not, like, a crazy person.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on. Crackpot Whisperer had a great joke, and I don't want to give him credit because he's usually a. He's one of the people who hate the most of the chat, but he did write Kunta Kintest. That's great. I mean, I gotta give him a channel snake for that one. That's great. I don't discriminate. If you got a good one in the racist live chat, you got a good one. Good.

[Guest]

How to be socially around people. So I'm not gonna be, like, a weirdo or, like a problem or anything like that. I think if you did not pick me, it would be a big mistake. I don't know what the other options are looking like, but I think you should definitely pick me. I would be the best day option for sure.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, that's it. That's the video. I like it. She's cute.

[Lewis Gomez]

I like it.

[Zach Amico]

Pretty toy. Pretty toy. She's nice. I like it. Also, I honestly, I did date a black girl once. I feel like that got me a lot of street cred amongst, like, normies. They were like, all right. You know, they are all jokes, you know?

[Tim McLaughlin]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay. Very pretty, Shannon.

[Lewis Gomez]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

It's a great photo right there.

[Lewis Gomez]

Are these, like, cameos or these actual people?

[Zach Amico]

No, this is a real person. This is. This is. She's hot, dude. Dude. It's very sexy. Like, African Queen.

[Ally Mae]

Funny to think that absolutely nobody applied for this, and Lewis just purchased a bunch of cameos.

[Lewis Gomez]

A, they're black chicks, and B, they're really hot black chicks. So it just doesn't. I don't get it.

[Zach Amico]

Ali. What are you trying to. Are you out of your mind? Alley? The goddamn Puerto Rican rattlesnake. Do you understand how many are lined up for this contest?

[Lewis Gomez]

They're gonna be rolling up in a blue Acura, please.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's. That's what she saw. The blue Acura. She's like, I'm in. Fine, let's go. Yeah, she's.

[Tim McLaughlin]

He calls my favorite flavor.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see what else. What else is going on here. Shannon, we got a lot of murder dogs today. Why do you have so many murder dogs?

[Shannon]

I know. They just so happen to be there today.

[Zach Amico]

People love to tag me in. Children being torn apart by dogs, now that's a new thing that they do. And I don't think they really. I don't want that. I literally don't. Guys, stop doing that.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's not gonna help.

[Zach Amico]

Guys, never do it again. Please, please don't send me videos of children being torn apart by dogs. I hate it. Don't do it. Don't listen to me. They love listening to everything I say. They've had a lot of respect for me. A lot of respect for what I wish. So, Shannon, you have some of these murder dogs, which is fun. Let's go to. Let's go to murder dogs.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yo, stop this dog.

[Zach Amico]

My dude. That guy. That guy. Rear naked. Choking the dog was maybe my favorite thing in the world. There was a dog attacking somebody and some guy came over and just choked it unconscious. Wow. A pit bull.

[Ally Mae]

Good.

[Zach Amico]

Pretty badass. Go ahead, Shannon.

[Shannon]

First one is a 52 year old woman in Texas. She was at work actually. She's. I know you hate stuff from the news, but this is her actually telling a little bit of the story. Do you want to see that? And you can see her face.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see, let's see.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, wait, this is a before, right?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Guest]

I didn't want to die, but it sure seemed like I was going to. Bite marks on her body, stitches in her neck and deep wounds are what Michelle means was left with following a vicious dog attack. And they just started attacking, biting my head, my neck.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I think the dogs thought she was me.

[Guest]

On Monday, Michelle was at work when she got a.

[Shannon]

That's, that's the majority of it.

[Zach Amico]

No, I want to hear what. I want to hear the story.

[Lewis Gomez]

Before the dog attack, I weighed 95,5 pounds.

[Guest]

Her 13 year old son, her pregnant daughter had been attacked by her neighbor's pit bulls.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow.

[Guest]

When Michelle arrived, everything seemed calm at first, but then eight pit bulls emerged, attacking.

[Zach Amico]

Wait a minute. Her pregnant daughter got attacked and then she came by to like pick up her daughter and then they let eight more dogs out. Jesus.

[Shannon]

Yeah, well, it's not clear how many dogs were attacking her daughter.

[Zach Amico]

Right.

[Shannon]

So we don't know how many were there to begin with, but they're the.

[Guest]

Neighbor'S dogs down at the one brown and white dog. And it looked at me and it was just like something snapped in its eyes and it jumped up at that time and grabbed a hold of my face.

[Zach Amico]

To be fair, miss, you look delicious. I will say, like, she does look a little bit like beef jerky.

[Lewis Gomez]

She's Pillsbury Doughboy esque.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. She's got a lot of. A lot of gel meat.

[Tim McLaughlin]

She looks like she's like Paula Dean. Like, if you took a bite of her face, it would be sweet.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Miss, are you full of butter? Do they do butter injections on this woman? Like a Thanksgiving turkey. That's why. Miss, have you been doing that to yourself yourself?

[Lewis Gomez]

Beef cheek is incredible.

[Zach Amico]

Beef cheek is delicious.

[Lewis Gomez]

So why wouldn't this lady's cheek be anywhere?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, pork. Pork cheek. Yeah, the whole. The jowl. That's a delicious.

[Lewis Gomez]

You've never had. It's great.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, it's so good. It's a really good piece of meat. Really? Right there.

[Ally Mae]

Never. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Lewis Gomez]

I had it in Italy. No big deal.

[Zach Amico]

No big deal. Go ahead.

[Guest]

Within a couple seconds, another one had grabbed a hold of my calf and I was on the ground. As she tried to fight off the dogs, a man with a shovel came to her aid, scaring the animal.

[Zach Amico]

She started hitting her in the head.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Sometimes that is better.

[Guest]

But the damage and injuries had already been done. Michelle and her children were rushed to the hospital for treatment, having to receive several rabies shots. After two surgeries, over 180 stitches and 90 staple, Michelle was able to return home. The dog had actually bitten off my lip, so they had to reattach.

[Zach Amico]

I will say she. She b. Like, I understand she's got a lot of injuries, but she's pretty much unscathed considering how bad this could have been. Yeah, like, that. These dogs.

[Tim McLaughlin]

All her parts are on her.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, she's. She's gonna heal and have, like, some little scarring, but, like, she's not like chimp face, ladies. Yeah, dude, there's like. Yeah. You see certain ones where, like, they gotta completely reconstruct their face like this. Honestly, you know, we're gonna do. We're gonna pick the dog attack of the day today, Shannon, since we have three of them. Okay. And we'll say which one is the best one you could describe. You could define best however you define best. Okay.

[Lewis Gomez]

Okay. Okay.

[Shannon]

There's just two, but this is the first one. Do you want me to keep playing?

[Zach Amico]

Please?

[Guest]

Yep. And then so all this piece of my cheek was missing, so they had to kind of pull the skins together. Michelle says she pulled me new cheek from my. Wants people to be aware of the unpredictable nature of animals. I just want people to be aware that it's not always about what the owners do and how good the owners are. Sometimes even the best of dogs can break.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yes, that not true.

[Zach Amico]

That is true.

[Ally Mae]

It is true.

[Zach Amico]

It is true. People say this all the time. They're like, oh, the. Dude, it's. If it's a bad. It's bad owners, not bad dogs. No, no. Sometimes there's a good owner and your dog is a goddamn broken, damaged Puerto Rican dog. If they're animals and they're unable. Yeah. And fucking they. You can't. You know, whatever. I won't. I won't hate, you know, I won't spend the whole time just hating on people. I'm just saying. I'm not one of these people that are saying we got to destroy all pit bulls. I think that we need to stop breeding them and let them die out slowly. Let them go extinct.

[Ally Mae]

But it's not just pit bulls. It's. Any dog could do that. And I. I got bit by a dog at work. And dog people.

[Zach Amico]

What type of dog was it?

[Ally Mae]

I don't even know what kind of dog it was, because I don't give a. About dogs. I'm not. I don't know, but it bit me.

[Zach Amico]

Dog people are kind of losers.

[Ally Mae]

And all the people I told, they were like, well, what? Nothing. I was existing. I was walking by the dog and it bit me.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Was it a big dog or a little dog?

[Ally Mae]

Like a medium sized dog? And it. I'm just like, at my hand where to bite by you on my thigh.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, Shannon, turn on the sexy music for a second. Just talk, talk. Walk us through this, please.

[Lewis Gomez]

The.

[Ally Mae]

The dog you were walking.

[Zach Amico]

All right, what were you wearing? Slow down, slow down. Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

Were you asking for it?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. What were you wearing?

[Ally Mae]

I was wearing a pair of tight jeans.

[Zach Amico]

Whoa, whoa, now wait a minute. Why would. Why would you be wearing tight jeans if you weren't looking for attention?

[Ally Mae]

Well, I was at work.

[Zach Amico]

Were you wearing makeup?

[Ally Mae]

Of course.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, all right. Well, I'm just saying you have to look in the mirror at one point and fucking fix your makeup.

[Ally Mae]

I was, you could say, on the prowl.

[Zach Amico]

You were on the prowl.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Be jerky underwear.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So you're. You're walking. You're walking down the street.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, I'm walking in my bar. I'm walking in my bar. Yes. I'm at work. I'm clocked in.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, you got bit by a dog at a bar?

[Ally Mae]

Yes, at my job. Because people can't grow up and leave their Fucking emotional motherfucker.

[Zach Amico]

Do you want to. Do you want to go to columns wedding with me? We were speaking the same language. Ally Mae.

[Ally Mae]

I hate these people.

[Zach Amico]

People who bring their dogs into establishments. As I'm trying to enjoy a beer or a meal or whatever it is, now I have to look down at an animal. I didn't opt for this animal in my life. No, why are you making everyone opt for an animal?

[Ally Mae]

Why am I trying to enjoy a nice meal? And the last time I was at a restaurant and these people had two dogs, and they were just sitting there getting drunk for hours. The dogs got nervous and pissed on the sidewalk. Now that I watch the servers walk. Walking through a puddle of piss because they think somebody spilled the water. It's gross.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

And the people are such. When I used to manage a bar, I'd be like, sorry, we don't allow dogs in here. They'd be like, actually, this is a service dog, and I will sue you.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. All right. And I'm like, sue me.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. I'm like, okay. Well, then I guess, by the way, that's.

[Zach Amico]

That's a. That lawsuit will never come to fruition. Yeah. But ever. In a million years. First of all, it's not a real service dog. It's. None of them even have the papers. It's all horseshit.

[Ally Mae]

It's horse.

[Zach Amico]

I got so mad when Big J told me the story about Josh Adam bringing his fake service dog. And then the security guard was like, yo, man, come on, what is this dog for? And Josh's like, I have epilogue. He just made up a whole story. And. And the whole thing is that the security guard was being an. I was like, no, the security guard was doing his job.

[Lewis Gomez]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

He recognized that you guys are white privileged, who are just want your dog. And also, it's a goddamn Doberman pincher. It's not like it's a. It's. It's a murder dog dog. Yeah, it's a murder dog.

[Lewis Gomez]

The black guys on my street have this big Rottweiler, but they keep its mouth muzzled up. And I was walking by and it. The other day, and it just goes. And I go, oh. And then they all laughed at me.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

And it hurt worse than getting bit.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta go. You gotta go to detox and get free vapes. No.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I have an important question about when the dog bit you.

[Ally Mae]

Sure.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Were you on your period?

[Ally Mae]

I don't know. I can't remember.

[Zach Amico]

That's a great question. They smell blood.

[Ally Mae]

It is a good question. I don't remember.

[Zach Amico]

And I would imagine then I don't know why I imagine Ally wears pads. Not tampons, just big goofy, dirty purple pads.

[Tim McLaughlin]

No, I bet she wears the. The. The black underwear. That soaks it up.

[Ally Mae]

I'll tell you what. I. I'm a tampon user and I'm a tampon abuser. Last time I was here, I had to borrow a tampon from the draw. And it was an ultra ultra or some for big.

[Zach Amico]

That's Shannon. Shannon's got a huge.

[Ally Mae]

Let me tell you something. When I was pulling that thing out, wow, it was pretty intense.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, why do you have to do the large vagina? Why are you making it? Allie's got a little tight. Petite tight.

[Shannon]

If she would have asked me to borrow one, I. I would have given her.

[Zach Amico]

Do you have a little. You have little tiny ones.

[Shannon]

I like regular.

[Zach Amico]

What size do you wear, Shannon? Regular, by the way, what size you wear? It's actually a great thing. If you go to the supermarket, you just look in the girl in women's car hearts. You can see the size of their cunt. My mom used to have the ultra ultras and she used to shove two of them inside of her. I swear I'm not even lying about it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Is that.

[Zach Amico]

I swear on my son's life that that is something that my sister told me. So I don't know if it's actually true, but this is a story that my sister.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Your mom had Twix.

[Ally Mae]

That's why she had to be getting high. Deal with that.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon. Keep the sexy music on. As we're talking about the size of your vaginas, please. These.

[Shannon]

So most of those like regular, extra, whatever. It's not necessarily the size of the tampon. It's not the absorption level.

[Ally Mae]

Yes. It's not the size of your at all. It's the absorption. But it. But. But it just. It gets bigger inside.

[Zach Amico]

It gets big. It was too big for you. So full. So it got stuck.

[Ally Mae]

It was.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Did it turn into a dinosaur?

[Ally Mae]

I. Pulling it out was crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Would you have to tie the string to a door knob and like you take a tooth out, slam the. The door, put it on the back.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Of a Lamborghini on the floor.

[Zach Amico]

Well, a Volkswagen.

[Shannon]

Side note. I'm sorry. So Dom is back. He wasn't able to find your car.

[Zach Amico]

Oh my God. Dom.

[Ally Mae]

Dom. Dom.

[Zach Amico]

His name is Dumb.

[Ally Mae]

Dumb. Whatever. It's on the Corner of East 6th and whatever that main street. You walk out this avenue a.

[Zach Amico]

Just say it. It's too late.

[Ally Mae]

They're not going to Get. They're not. If they get here in 40 minutes and do something to my car, they'd be doing me a favor.

[Lewis Gomez]

If you get here in 40 minutes, you a free kiss from me.

[Ally Mae]

It's. It's literally just right on this corner. It's a shitty Honda Accord. It's missing a hubcap. The passenger side window is taped on. You can't miss this.

[Zach Amico]

Ally, you are my favorite. Ally's my favorite person. I. She really is. I really. I. I said this. I was talking to Big J and Dave the other day because we were talking about we. We're doing like a big Christmas spectacular tonight, and I don't want to give it away. We were just talking about people that we wanted to book, and you were one of the names that I brought up. We ended up not needing any women. It's. But I was just talking. How fucking funny you are. You're a unique bitch. I like it.

[Ally Mae]

I appreciate it.

[Zach Amico]

I like it. Let's see. So. So talk to me about this dog. What happens? You're in your bar.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, I'm in my bar. And the owner was mad because I carted him and he didn't have his id. And he said, well, I was just using it a little while ago. I was cutting up lines of coke, by the way. It's like 2:00 in the afternoon.

[Zach Amico]

And I'm like, this guy's a real ass dude.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, he's pretty real. But also, I don't care why you don't have the id. It's just that only my boss is obsessively watching the camera, so I must ID you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

And then he had two dogs with him and he was letting them walk around the bar with their leashes just dragging behind them. And I was just busing stuff off a table next to their table and I went to walk by and the dog just bit my leg.

[Zach Amico]

Just.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And what did you do?

[Ally Mae]

I was like, bro, not cool. And then he goes to the dog, he's like, not cool. Like, mocking me.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, I. And I mean this. I. And I really mean this. Yeah, I would have had that dog destroyed in front of him. I would have called the cops and I would have had the dog put down. I really mean that if you would have mocked me. Yeah, I wouldn't. I. One time I. I was riding a skateboard on the sidewalk. I was riding my penny board, which you shouldn't do, and then a little tiny dog jumped at me and. And I fell off my skateboard and busted my Ass and broke my phone. And I threatened the old woman. I was like, I'm gonna have your dog killed. I told her. I was like. I was like, What? And the Dr. Justification. In my mind, I was like, what if I was a kid? Kids ride their skateboards on the sidewalk. You can't have a little monster dog jumping at people. If your dog jumps at people because somebody's gonna roll by then that and then I start in my head, I was like, I'm a child. Your dog's trying to kill a child.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then I really got into it. And then I. You know.

[Ally Mae]

No, it's.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't have the dog destroyed, but I did threaten her. She had tears in her eyes. It was the whole thing.

[Ally Mae]

No, it's. I know people who have had their faces bitten by dogs, and they're like, it wasn't the dog's fault. Yes, it was. It was the dog's most of the time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

Not a dog person.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Now, did he think he could have his dogs there? Because it's called Bar K.

[Zach Amico]

It's good, Shannon. Let's see this next one. California man mold to death by his own three dogs in front of horrified onlookers at a playground. Jesus Christ, Shannon.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's pretty cool.

[Zach Amico]

Mold to death by his own dogs. That's c. I kind of don't mind that. If they're kids killing dog owners, then.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I think, buy his own dogs or in front of his own dog.

[Zach Amico]

Buy his own dogs.

[Shannon]

Buy his own dogs. So this one, there's not a lot of story about what. What led up to it. I don't have a video. I just have a picture of one of the dogs. But the cops had to come. They had to tase two of the dogs to subdue them. The third one. The third one got away.

[Zach Amico]

That's just a fun game.

[Shannon]

The third one got away, and they had to actually call for, like, a lockdown in the neighborhood until they were actually able to catch the last dog. They're all XL bullies. I have a picture of one of them that they captured.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. These big giant beasts. But you don't have any images of the guy being mauled or video?

[Shannon]

No, he's dead.

[Zach Amico]

No, I know. I want to see his death.

[Shannon]

I don't. I don't have that.

[Zach Amico]

Not one pulled out their phone. Not one person pulled out the phone. I don't believe that.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Impossible.

[Lewis Gomez]

Sad. Sad with sad. What societies come to now?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Not pulling out your phone when a person is being mauled to death by a Dog.

[Lewis Gomez]

They were probably trying to help those people. Pieces of.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, you know what it is? What it is? I, I, I actually don't hate. My son's getting a dog, but my son's not gonna get a dog.

[Ally Mae]

What kind of dog?

[Zach Amico]

I think his mom wants to get him a dachshund, but now everyone's telling me that dachshunds aren't a good breed to get that they, like, very often just jump off the bed and break their back, and you have to put them down.

[Ally Mae]

What kind. I mean, what kind of energy are you looking for in a dog? I personally don't like any dogs.

[Zach Amico]

Any dogs at all.

[Ally Mae]

I really just don't like them. I don't want to be licked by a dog. I don't want to. Gonna eat my ice cream while you're staring me down. Like, I just don't like dogs. But I found one dog that is pretty chill.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Here we go.

[Ally Mae]

Hold on. Italian, I Greyhound or just a greyhound?

[Lewis Gomez]

Those are all bones. That's just a bone dog.

[Ally Mae]

It's a good dog. Does not. No licking.

[Zach Amico]

No licking.

[Ally Mae]

No. I really.

[Zach Amico]

So none of the things that people like dogs for, which is like, the affection and the companionship.

[Ally Mae]

No, I don't like any of.

[Zach Amico]

That's a cute dog. I had, I had a friend who had one of those dogs.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Could you show us how you eat ice cream again?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I'm buying my son a dog, and people are like, rescue it. I'm like, they're gonna wait to find the perfect dog that might not have the perfect temperament. Buy it.

[Ally Mae]

Just don't even waste your time. Get your dog. I mean, get your son a cat.

[Zach Amico]

He doesn't want a cat.

[Ally Mae]

A cat is.

[Zach Amico]

That's my son. That was really him when he was a baby.

[Ally Mae]

Really cute.

[Tim McLaughlin]

His first appearance of the podcast.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Very cute. Very cute. Oh, my little bubba. I love him. He's the best. He was going to play this weekend.

[Lewis Gomez]

What did. What play was he in?

[Zach Amico]

Notorious. He played Prince Eric in the Little Mermaid.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

He's a little prince. Little prince, just.

[Lewis Gomez]

He princes now.

[Zach Amico]

Just beautiful. My son, he's such a handsome kid, and he's just.

[Ally Mae]

It's very. You wonder. It's probably all coming from the moment.

[Zach Amico]

Mom, you think? No, his mother's a dog. Like, his mother, like, just like.

[Ally Mae]

No. Really?

[Zach Amico]

Ew. No, she's beautiful. She still is. She's like 40. Beautiful. 43 years old. She still retained her goddamn looks. I can't wait till she gets ugly. I can put it in her face.

[Lewis Gomez]

I want a couple dogs at her.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, but he was. He played Prince Eric in the Little Mermaid. Yeah. Really fun. Loved it.

[Ally Mae]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Just, you know, a fearless kid. Just will go up. Doesn't care. Just really owned the moment, you know.

[Lewis Gomez]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Everyone's calling him gay in the racist live chat. I don't even have to say. I don't even have to see the race live chat right now. I know everyone's calling my son a homosexual.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

But it seems like you taunt them to do it because you post this.

[Zach Amico]

Guys, don't. Do not call my son a homosexual. So one thing that I don't want.

[Ally Mae]

Those the stories of your son singing under the sea.

[Zach Amico]

Of course. Yeah, he did.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, don't call my son suck in the sea even though he wants a dick shaped dog. Do not call my son gay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, so we'll see. We're. I'm going to get him a dachshund, I think. Shannon, pull up a. Pull up. Dachshund puppies.

[Lewis Gomez]

They're cute.

[Zach Amico]

Dachshund puppies are adorable.

[Lewis Gomez]

Dachshunds are cute. They can get a little yippee though. But they're cute.

[Zach Amico]

They're cute dogs. I always wanted a dachshund, to be honest with you. And how much. How much are they? What are they? Oh, dog. Come on.

[Ally Mae]

Is that a wiener dog?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Ally. Ally, come on.

[Ally Mae]

It's like. Okay. Emotionally.

[Zach Amico]

Look at that guy. That guy right there. Shannon. That one. No, the dappled ducks. And puppy with a little. That guy. Oh my.

[Ally Mae]

Pull it up.

[Zach Amico]

Make it big.

[Lewis Gomez]

Is this melting your ice cold heart? Ally.

[Zach Amico]

Ally. You're gonna tell me you wouldn't it. That dog.

[Lewis Gomez]

He's got two different color eyes.

[Zach Amico]

Look at him.

[Ally Mae]

Okay. I appreciate the two different color eyes and I do look at him and for a split second I think cute. But then I immediately start processing needs. Needs. Needs licking, shitting, puking, walking in 10 degree weather. Eating your snack when you're not looking.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah.

[Ally Mae]

I just don't. Yeah. That. That noise. That noise. Dropping the kibbles all over the floor next to its bowl.

[Lewis Gomez]

This sounds like autism.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You seem like you. You're the problem. Well, you're naming all like just the most minor inconveniences. Walking the dog during 10 degree weather. You're right.

[Lewis Gomez]

That sucks.

[Zach Amico]

That sucks. And I have a backyard, so I know what it's gonna end up being. Yeah. Go out back.

[Lewis Gomez]

Absolutely.

[Zach Amico]

The fucking shit will sink into the snow. Go deal with it in the spring.

[Lewis Gomez]

Dear God.

[Zach Amico]

Is that fertilizer? It's probably fertilizer.

[Lewis Gomez]

No, it's not.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Good.

[Zach Amico]

It's fertilizer. Stop it. Do you know what fertilizer is?

[Tim McLaughlin]

It's.

[Lewis Gomez]

I understand what fertilizer is. Yes.

[Zach Amico]

But if you don't know, you don't know. You know nothing about fertilizing a garden. And no, dog poop is not considered good fertilizer. Shannon, how about you once, for once, make me look good. For once, can you ever make me look good?

[Lewis Gomez]

I think you should listen to the hillbilly from Indiana about fertilizer. It's the one. It's like a few things that I know.

[Zach Amico]

Is that where you're from?

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm from India.

[Zach Amico]

So you know. You know fertilizer. Wow.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Crops you want to burn. What you want to do is you plant soybeans twice. And then you plant corn because it adds nitrates to the ground.

[Zach Amico]

Are you ready? Sorry.

[Lewis Gomez]

Then you burn all the corn. You set the whole thing.

[Zach Amico]

Everyone's notice this corn. I have to do that.

[Lewis Gomez]

And so that's it. And that's how you do it.

[Zach Amico]

Corn and soy.

[Lewis Gomez]

Soybeans add nitrates to the soil.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Soy boy. That's what a gay person. Person thinks. Everyone else in the world. All menu. Okay.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Dog, Cat, Zack.

[Lewis Gomez]

But the cool is when the corn is dead. You light it all on fire. You light it all and you get to drive through it when you're going to your gigs.

[Zach Amico]

That's fun. That is fun. So we'll see. We'll see if we get him a. A pup. Shannon, let's do some plugs. We're just. We're rolling, dude. What? Today's show is great. What a great show. What a. Ellie, what are you plugging?

[Ally Mae]

I am at Williamsburg Comedy Club on Wednesday with Maddie Smith. I don't know. I have a show at the stand first. Wednesday. Oh, actually, yeah. I don't know when it is actually. What month is this? December. December. January 15th. At the stand. Use my code drip. Save $5. And then I have a show in Asbury park called Power.

[Zach Amico]

Please save that show. Good fans go save Alley show.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because I will tell you right now, it was a goddamn nightmare. An abomination of a show.

[Ally Mae]

I love when your kind of fans come to. It's always a good show.

[Zach Amico]

It's the best fans on the planet. And I, you know, I'm not. I'm not just sucking their dick. They're terrible people online on Twitter, they hate me. On Reddit, they would have me dead. If you meet them in person, they're the sweetest people on earth. I met Fuck face Amy Winehouse, Baby daddy, who is the biggest troll in this chat? I met him at a show. I forget what city was. He was a sweetheart. He's the biggest cunt I've ever spoken to on the wrist. It's crazy. What a night and day. I met him, he was like, dude, maybe one has baby daddy. He was so excited to tell me. I was like. I was like, should I bite his nose off his face right now? What should I do? And I was like, let me let it go. Fine, sweetheart. And real life online, they're a little bit of a problem, but it's okay. We want them in real life. Come out to the show, support them, Be as much of a problem as you want online. As long as you're buying tickets to our shows.

[Ally Mae]

Yep. I'm default programmer on Instagram and I think that's it.

[Lewis Gomez]

A and speaking of that, I remember I was with Micah one time at Skank Fest and some guy came up and was like, oh, Micah, I love you. And she goes, I think that guy told me to get funny raped into.

[Zach Amico]

Me before I believe that actually happened. Tim McLaughlin.

[Lewis Gomez]

Listen to the Great Hang podcast with myself and Micah Fox. New Year's Eve, I will be at Bananas in East Rutherford, New Jersey with Tom Takar. So come check that out. December 23rd, if you're in Indianapolis, I will be at the White Rabbit. I am headlining the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana, February 20th. And then I'm headlining helium in Indianapolis, the 21st and 22nd. And if you are in Colonial Williamsburg, I am headlining Cozy's Comedy Club at the end of March where a man died a couple years ago.

[Zach Amico]

Nice Zacho.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Hey, if you're listening live this weekend, I am with Juggalo Championship Wrestling. We've got Deck the Jaws in Detroit on Thursday and then we're going somewhere else in Detroit again. I don't know. Go on my Instagram and Zach's not funny.

[Zach Amico]

Come see me live on the road, guys. Finishing up my mediocre tour this weekend. This weekend is my last dates at the Creek and Cave, Austin, Texas. Friday, Saturday, headlining sets Sunday. I have the depraved with an incredible lineup. Duncan Trussell, Kim Congdon, Joe List, Kurt Metzger, Ari, Maddie. I mean, the lineup on Sunday night in Austin. Best lineup in Austin on Sunday night. So come the fuck out to that. It's gonna be a blast. We'll sell. All these shows are gonna sell out New Year's Eve already sold that. But next year I have a brand new tour, the Bring 5 Friends tour coming to a city near you. January is. I'm on the road almost every weekend in January. I'm in Columbus, Ohio. I'm in Rosemont, Illinois, in Guana, Guanka, Ontario. I don't know how to say that place. It's near Kingston, Ontario, Montreal, Ottawa, Canada as well North Charleston, South Carolina and Naples, Florida. That's just in January. Winnipeg's coming up in February and a lot more. I'm going to be promoting the entire tour. I just put a poster. I'm going everywhere until I film my next special which is going to be in July at Tampa side Splitters. I've tapped the great Robert Kelly to direct my special. I'm very excited to just put it in his hands. We're literally just starting to go over everything now and I still have another six months or so to work on this. So thank you guys for being a part of the process and come out and be a part of the process us for the rest of the year because it's gonna be a blast. And I'm very excited to show you guys this next special. Make sure you guys subscribe to the new gas digital. Gas digital.com use that promo code LAZ. You get to watch the show live as it premieres. You get to be a part of the racist live chat. You also get to be. You get early access on the shows. You get uncensored episodes, ad free episodes. If you hate ads and you hate censorship, guess what? Get them all uncensored and ad [e-mail] plus a bonus episode every Friday of the Lewis and Zach show. Only for subscribers. Just for subscribers. So make sure you guys go grab that. Use that promo code Laz. Get save a couple bucks a month and you really it is the number one way you can support this show. You should also know that I do a bonus podcast that is just for subscribers to my email list through my website. So if you go to my website, there'll be a little prompt that comes up. It's an email list. Put your name, put your hometown, put your email address. You will get an email every Friday with another solo episode, the Lewis Journal podcast, where it's just a little bit more of the serious stuff in my life, whether it's the business, being a father, health, mental health. It's just me kind of ranting. The feedback on it has been incredible. I thought people were gonna just try. I have so many trolls online that anytime I put something out that's even slightly serious. I kind of cringe and I'm like. But the feedback has been just nothing but positive. You guys are the best. And I'm breaking tons of news through that newsletter every week. So if you guys want to find out skank fest news or gas digital news before it goes anywhere else, that is the way to do it. Go subscribe to my email list and, yeah, be a part of it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Louis, do you worry that if the. If it's nothing but positive reviews for the show, it's a double troll, so they're giving you positive reviews to keep you keep doing it? Because they don't actually like it and they think it's actually cringe and you're digging yourself into.

[Zach Amico]

God damn it, Shannon. Delete the goddamn fucking podcast. Never mind. I'm no longer doing the Lewis Journal podcast. No, I don' What?

[Ally Mae]

What? A peek into actual anxiety.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank you, Kratom, for supporting today's show. Our longest running sponsor, yo kratom. Yo kratom dot com. Home of the $60 kilo. Listen to me. I'm not telling you to go out and try Kratom, okay? You've probably heard of Kratom. This is not for people that are curious. Oh, it's Kratom. This is for people that are using Kratom and using it for its natural benefits. This is not a recreational drug. I really, I'm not trying to get people doing stupid shit. This is just literally, it's helped out a few of my friends. I have friends who were addicted to painkillers. I have friends who were addicted to opiates. And this genuinely helped them get off those. And I think that's probably the number one use case for. For Kratom. But do some independent research, see if it's something that works for you and maybe it does, and maybe it can help you. And if you're already using Kratom or if it's something that could be beneficial, just go to your kratom dot com. There's no promo code or anything. They sell kilos of kratom for $60. It's the best deal in Kratom. It's lab tested. It's high quality. You guys don't have to get your Kratom from a gas station or some sort of, like, smoke shop. You can get it directly from YourCratom.com.

[Tim McLaughlin]

That'S right. Yo Kratom.com. home of the 60 kilo. No promo code needed because it's the Best deal in the world of kratom. Yo, kratom.com.

[Zach Amico]

All right, where were we? Let's see, let's see. This Brazilian influencer has the perfect body.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, I hope it's a dude.

[Zach Amico]

Say it.

[Shannon]

So I'm just gonna bring it to her Instagram page. Okay, so here's. Here's a good one of her.

[Lewis Gomez]

Those tits are fake.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Yeah, I mean, look, I. Look, I don't mind fake tits.

[Lewis Gomez]

Me neither. I'm just saying you can't be.

[Ally Mae]

You don't get to be in the running for a perfect body if it was constructed by science. Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Yep. You don't get. Yeah, you're right. You're. You're automatic. There's an asterisk.

[Lewis Gomez]

I mean, here's the thing.

[Zach Amico]

Are those fake though? Maybe they're not. Not.

[Shannon]

I. They look fake. Cuz she's also like a fitness model, so you kind of have to.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, so she have little titties. Let me see. Let's see here. Let's see.

[Lewis Gomez]

I would have sex with her. Personally. I will. I just want to say that.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, look, her hips are great.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Stomach's great. Let me see her ass. Turn her around, Shannon. Turn her around. I mean, the perfect.

[Tim McLaughlin]

She's very pretty.

[Zach Amico]

She's hot. I'm Knife.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Very hot. Perfect.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's fine. Look, this is just.

[Tim McLaughlin]

It's subjective.

[Zach Amico]

This is just her publicist getting her written up somewhere, whatever it is.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Well, let's see that.

[Zach Amico]

How many followers does she have on?

[Shannon]

It's like nine, nine hundred something. Thousand.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Does she got a publicist? Where. Where is this article? Where is this from?

[Shannon]

Is it the New York Post?

[Zach Amico]

Yep. Yeah, the Post. The. Shannon, the Post is. They're just for sale. If you want to. I can. I can buy an ad in the Post with them and be like, like, you know, New York podcaster as perfect tits and just press my tits together and they'll write up an oracle about it. In fact, we should. Shannon.

[Lewis Gomez]

We should see world's greatest podcaster with best body.

[Zach Amico]

I bet you we can get most beautiful breasts of any podcast producer in the world. And this Shannon just smash under tits together, we get the Post to write an article for like five grand guaranteed.

[Lewis Gomez]

I think Shannon could win without a publicist.

[Zach Amico]

You think so?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, who. I mean, who else House is producing podcasts.

[Zach Amico]

Are there hot podcast producers out there?

[Lewis Gomez]

Weird dudes. I think it's like mostly weird dudes.

[Ally Mae]

We got a hot one producing mine.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, that's Right. She.

[Ally Mae]

I forgot to plug Mad House.

[Zach Amico]

But how. How are her tits?

[Ally Mae]

You know what? She's not showing them off so much.

[Zach Amico]

So that makes me think she's hiding something.

[Ally Mae]

Maybe, but maybe not. You know what I mean?

[Zach Amico]

She's got one tip bigger than the other.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, maybe, maybe. I. I don't know, Art. I'm wearing three jackets. I got a perfect rack.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, perfect rack.

[Tim McLaughlin]

We all got distracted. We all lost our train of thought.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no. I was trying to think of a. A joke about her tits being shaped like a gun rack, but I just couldn't get there, so I just gave up on it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Sure.

[Zach Amico]

That's what was going on in my head, Zach. Yeah, I mean, is it perfect? I've seen chicks with hotter bodies in that chick. You know, people are freaking out about what's her name now?

[Ally Mae]

Sydney Sweeney.

[Zach Amico]

People are like, yo, dude, she got fat.

[Ally Mae]

It's.

[Zach Amico]

Can we see that? Can we see the pictures in question about Sydney Sweeney?

[Lewis Gomez]

What the hell? She's getting fat now. I told her, don't do that.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I don't want to be a dick, but Sydney Sweeney, she is fine.

[Ally Mae]

She's fine. I never got the hype to begin with. Even with the edited photos. I was like, okay, she's just fine. It's fine.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'd hate to say it, but I'd have sex with her too, of course.

[Zach Amico]

And she has great tits, unquestionably beautiful breasts.

[Ally Mae]

Right, thank you.

[Zach Amico]

But you know, just like the. Her face is. It's. She's obviously beautiful, but just not like when you're talking about like the, like the way people are worshiping her as like the hottest woman on earth. It's like, have you guys never seen tits there? It has to be, though. Yeah. I mean, that isn't great. That's not a great. It's not a very flattering photo, but it's.

[Ally Mae]

But it's some. Here's the things that are working against her here. The bathing suit is ill fitting, so the bottom is too tight. It's pinching into her fat. It should be a. Just a tiny bit looser there.

[Zach Amico]

And she's also. I mean, she's. She's obviously not in fight shape right now as well. The reality is she's not expecting people to take images of her. She's had a nice holiday Thanksgiving. She's been fucking eating candied yams and that's fine.

[Lewis Gomez]

Dude, wasn't she getting, like, built for a role, though?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Lewis Gomez]

I thought, yeah, she was supposed to be Playing like a boxer or something?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, this is. Oh, this is the role.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What is this?

[Shannon]

It's a. She's playing Christy Martin.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, the boxer Christy Martin. Yeah. So she. She bulked up. Is that what it is?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, I think that's what.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, well, that's what's going on.

[Ally Mae]

But also, guys are just dumb. You know what I mean? Like, you think like, like, girls have no. Girls have no makeup. Makeup, which is when they make you think they're not wearing makeup, but they are wearing a ton of makeup.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's st. That's not us being dumb. That's women being dumb.

[Ally Mae]

No, but it's. You're also dumb because I can see that a girl is wearing no makeup. Makeup. But you cannot.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Oh, I cannot say anything.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I know when a woman's wearing makeup. I do. I've dated so many chicks. I've had living girlfriends. I was raised by women. I have nothing but women in my life now that are, like, I have no family members that I'm really close to that are men. My sister, my aunt, my niece Beatrice.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Your son wears makeup?

[Zach Amico]

My son wears makeup. I wear makeup at Skank Fest. It shows me. If there's one person who knows makeup, it's me.

[Ally Mae]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

And I know when a is wearing some no makeup. Makeup. But Sydney Sweeney, I hear the fact that she prepared for that role, and that's why she, like, bulked up. She probably got, like, she probably got jacked and she probably drinking creatine and, you know, just a little bloat also.

[Ally Mae]

Though, that if you don't know that you're being, like, watched or whatever, I mean, you have little. You know, I could. I could have two different looks in the same hour looking like her and then looking, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, it's all angles.

[Ally Mae]

It's angles.

[Zach Amico]

I can. I can literally make myself look jacked. And then if I let my stomach out and turn to the side, you're like, he's a fat piece of. It's just like that. So that's also what's happening is most of the time when you see a. Or any celebrity or anybody on camera, they're protecting their image.

[Ally Mae]

The poster is going to be different.

[Zach Amico]

Everything.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I understand what you're saying. So, yeah, she got caught up.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Up, like, eating a little too much posture.

[Zach Amico]

But she. I mean, look, she. She's obviously hot, but I just forget her. Even at her best. Pull up the best Sydney Sweeney photo you can find, Shannon. And I will say at Sydney Sweeney's best, She's not, you know, just.

[Ally Mae]

She's fine.

[Zach Amico]

Just fine. Nothing. And by the way, if she. If nobody talked about her, I'd be like, oh, she's pretty hot. But because people talk about her so.

[Ally Mae]

Much, people put it up on the pedestal. Brad Pit. I would never. Never.

[Zach Amico]

Brad Pitt.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy. Brad Pitts.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'd have sex.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

I don't think so.

[Zach Amico]

You're an idiot.

[Lewis Gomez]

I'm gay and I do it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That's why that dog bit you.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Heard you say that.

[Lewis Gomez]

Lion hates liars.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That's like a great photo of her, and she's just. Whatevs. That's a good one.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Tim McLaughlin]

She's very, very beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

That's. It's not very beautiful.

[Tim McLaughlin]

No, she is.

[Zach Amico]

That's a hot photo. Fine. These are all great photos, Shannon. Fine. I'd love to. I heard it, actually. A little nugget in my mouth. Fine.

[Lewis Gomez]

All right, Enough.

[Zach Amico]

Fine. Now, this is.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's what I want. I want that.

[Zach Amico]

She's. She's trying to get a. A Academy Award. Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

This looks like a lady.

[Zach Amico]

That's what happens if you. If you're trying to get an Academy Award. You have to be like, I'm beautiful, but I'm going to be ugly. Halle Berry did it, right?

[Tim McLaughlin]

It's the girl version of being.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. It's true. It's great.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Girls get ugly. Guys get.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They don't do it anymore, though. I don't think guys are playing retards anymore. I think we're trying to book real retards.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Yeah. That Stephen Hawking was close, though.

[Lewis Gomez]

My community is not your costume. I tell them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but that's a great point, Zach. Girls get ugly. Academy Award.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Like, look, guys get a disease or.

[Zach Amico]

Or.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Yeah. An ailment.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

Philadelphia guys are pretending to be autistic all the time.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that's a regular thing in comedy.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, there's a. There's a pretty big one.

[Zach Amico]

A whole contingency.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Well, he used to be a lot bigger.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. Yes. I literally have zero. I have zero comedy comedy beefs. And there's just one person I really don't like.

[Zach Amico]

That's him.

[Ally Mae]

And it's. That's who it is.

[Zach Amico]

Really? Why?

[Ally Mae]

It's the. It's the act. It's. I. I mean, by that, I say.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, and I'll say, because I don't want people. People are gonna figure that out like that. And I have no problem with this.

[Ally Mae]

Guy cycling through different problems. If you've been paying attention For a while it was this, and then it became bipolar, and then it was alcoholism. And then right now it's the. But it's none of them. That's the best.

[Zach Amico]

Trying to catch a thing. And I don't know the guy well enough to say that, but you obviously do, so I will believe you.

[Ally Mae]

I do love him for probably 10 years.

[Zach Amico]

He's a funny comic. Funny enough. Comic chops on stage. Very funny.

[Ally Mae]

No need to be doing that fake thing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you're right. I agree. Like there.

[Ally Mae]

If you watch the videos, if you watch the videos from like five years ago, even three years ago, normal delivery, looking at the audience now, it's a lot of staring at the ground. Yeah, I saw a few videos leaning into it. I saw a few.

[Zach Amico]

Which, by the way, he might be.

[Ally Mae]

He might be autistic, but twisting the arm.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, really?

[Ally Mae]

Shut up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Oh, that does suck. I will say that sucks.

[Tim McLaughlin]

It's extremely performative.

[Ally Mae]

Extremely performative.

[Zach Amico]

I had another. I, I had an old roommate that did this. She, she, like, I don't know if she got big on Tick Tock, but her old ticket, Tick Tock, became I'm autistic.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And like, I knew this girl. Maybe she was autistic. I think everyone, especially in comedy, is a little on some spectrum. Like, everyone's a little weird. Everyone's got, of course, you know, we all have our own social anxieties. Like, I have issues. Like, people get mad at me all the time because I'll go to the stand and I don't say hi to people because I, I have social anxiety where I don't want to say hi to people that I barely know. I'm gonna forget somebody's name and then I'm gonna feel bad that I forgot their name. So I just go straight to the room and I sort of like, you know, put my blinders on.

[Tim McLaughlin]

On also because the show was supposed to start 20 minutes before.

[Zach Amico]

That's also true. But what's it called? Yeah, I, I, this one girl that I, I know. Her whole thing is like, I'm autistic. I have an autistic son. And like, she literally started, like, literally when she's doing your videos on Tick Tock, she's like, won't make eye contact with the camera. And you're like, yo, that's not who you are. This is 100. An act that you're putting on camera's not a person. Yeah, I know. You're not having an awkward, you're not having social anxiety with your camera. You have it on you. Psycho. It's just crazy. It's crazy.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Your thumb holding that button.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Ally Mae]

Put it down.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, I. I agree with you. And because.

[Ally Mae]

And the part. The thing is, like, don't be pretending to be bipolar, because that's really not going to sit well with me. And then also, sorry, like, if you have not been strapped down to a bed and shot up with orzine, I don't really want to hear it. So there's that. And then.

[Zach Amico]

Are you bipolar?

[Ally Mae]

Official, who knows what's happening? But I.

[Zach Amico]

So I know a few bipolar people. Do you. If this is a commonality, do you need a specific enemy? It's like a per. This is a common thread that I've seen with people bipolar. They. For some reason, they think that this one person is out to get.

[Tim McLaughlin]

No, it's that dog.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

No, I don't even. Honestly, I think I just got. They were jacking me up on all these medicines, and to be honest, I don't even think I need them, so. But it doesn't matter. The point being is that, you know, then it was alcoholism, and then a big. He posted a big story, and it was like, I'm 10 days sober. I'm not sure how much pride is behind it yet. My life all but spiraled out of control, like, trying to be like, you were on drugs. Now I sleep five nights a week. I never even seen you drunk or high.

[Zach Amico]

The problem is, a lot of these people, they're not actually interested, so they need to create something interesting.

[Ally Mae]

Smoke weed. What was the spiral? Did you get thirsty? Like, shut up.

[Zach Amico]

Ally is keeping It Real Ass today. I love it.

[Lewis Gomez]

We gotta change the name of the pod bag.

[Zach Amico]

Wow. Keeping It Real Ass. Ali May. Let's see. What do I want? I wrote something down here. What did I write? What is that word? Oh, yeah. Twitter. I had a. I had a fun fucking thing the other night. So my Twitter, my. My ex. My ex has just become nobody. Stop it.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Stop.

[Zach Amico]

Stop it. You stop right now, you piece of shit. I think I know what you were gonna do. The exact things you were gonna do and you were gonna do. And you're like, nobody. Not.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I said nobody. Do it.

[Lewis Gomez]

And no one did. No one did.

[Zach Amico]

Good job, boys. My Twitter has become. It's essentially just a place for me to get trolled and troll the trolls. And, like, now I've just leaned into it completely. So I post workout videos. And, yeah, I'm really leaning into it. I saw Mary Christmas, everyone being like, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Like, let's go, baby. So that's. Now every morning, my new thing is I. I post a workout video or a picture and I write. Losers hate this. And I. I know that they're like, oh, what am I going to do? It's the best. I love it. So every day now, I'm just battling with Twitter trolls in between workout sets. I, like, literally get up, I finish a set, and I'm like, all right, let me just go back. Keep trolling, trolling, trolling, trolling.

[Ally Mae]

What?

[Zach Amico]

There's one guy, the other night, he was like. He was like, dude, I'll box you. I'll beat the out of you.

[Ally Mae]

I saw that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then I was like. I was like. He was like, next time you're in Vegas, let me know. And I was like, I'll be in Vegas this week. Not gonna be in Vegas this week. I was like, let's fight this week. I did this. I did this like, a month ago with another guy where I was like, dude, I will meet you on the corner of Canal street and Broadway tomorrow, 2pm let's go. I'm never going to meet a stranger from the Internet to fight. I literally box every day with people who know how to box. I don't need street challenges from random people ever in my life. That's never gonna happen. There's also. This is what people that don't know how to fight or train, they do. There's no just if you don't fucking. If you don't. There's no knowing that you could beat the shit out of somebody. You can't just look at a guy and be like, oh, I could beat his ass. Once you train a little bit, you realize exactly where you're at and you go like, oh, that guy could be training harder than me. Like, I have no idea. Tim, you might be a fucking badass. I don't think you are, but you might be a real badass. You might have a ton of training. You might be able to light me the fuck up, because I've trained. I know not to assume that people are pussy pussies. Because the little.

[Ally Mae]

You never know.

[Zach Amico]

Most unassuming guy has been putting in the work. I got my ass beat the other day by a guy who was 5 foot 6, maybe 145 pounds. Little dude. I was. He was like, oh, can I see? Can I jump in with you guys sparring? I was like, sure. I was going light, you know, Came one. He just came. He was rushing, dude. He just came at me and just really lit me up. And I was like, what the was that? Then I leave, and my training partner sent me a video. He's a champion Muay Thai guy. Literally a world champion Muay Thai guy guy, like, K1. And I was like, oh, yeah, you don't. You have no clue.

[Ally Mae]

You know, you never know.

[Zach Amico]

So only people who are idiots on the Internet going, I'll beat that guy's ass. Oh, it's. It's a. It's a thing that men do. For some reason, men have to pretend to know how to fight. And I used to do it all the time before I trained. I used to think I was a lot tougher than I am, right? And now that I train, I know exactly what a soft, old fat I am. I just like to train. I do train, and I go to the gym every day. Day. But compared to anybody who really knows how to fight, I'm gonna get my teeth kicked in unfucking questionably. But if you don't train, it's. You're not gonna beat up somebody who can train that. Who trains. That's just it.

[Lewis Gomez]

Michael was asking me the other day about something. She goes, you think you could beat that guy's ass? And I was like, I'd have to do it in the first six punches because I am out of gas. And then I'm just done.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, that's. You don't. You. You also don't know you can't eyeball a guy even when you fight. Like, when I boxed Tim Butterly, there was no knowing, like, how good Tim Butterly was gonna be.

[Ally Mae]

And he has such a sweet face. You wouldn't think that he could.

[Zach Amico]

No. And. And sure, I doesn't.

[Guest]

He.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I dominated the fight, but that's okay. So. So, no, I loved him. And then he tapped me out of Skankfest. That's okay, you know, but the. The reality is you don't actually know if somebody can fight just by eyeballing them. So I would never, like, take a blind challenge, especially against, like, a fan on the Internet, because they're going, like, let's say they do know how to fucking fight, or even not, they're going to try to take my head off. It's going to be. Which I completely get. I don't train to prove how tough I am. I train to get in shape. I train so I can protect myself if the shit ever does hit the fan. I know a little bit of shit, but the reality is, like, I. I'm not like, this tough guy where I'm like, y'all gonna beat anybody's ass. I know exactly how soft I am. I'm a. For this. My size and my. Like, I'm. I hit, like, a. Like, for, like, literally for. For as big and strong as I am. Like, I do not. You. No, I don't. I'm not gonna be able to knock your head off your shoulders. I'm not this powerful, explosive guy. But this guy on Twitter was like, yo, dude, I want to fight you. And I was like, yeah, dude, I'll be in Vegas tomorrow.

[Ally Mae]

Guy with the green scooter.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, okay. So then he was like, dude. He's like, I'm not in Vegas right now. I'm actually in Seattle, but I'll be back Tuesday. And I was like, dude, I'm actually in Seattle right now. That's crazy that you say that. He's like, no way, dude. Meet me right now. Then I just looked up a gym in Seattle that was, like, five miles from where his hotel was. And then I was like, dude, meet me in a half an hour. I'm gonna you up. And then he's literally videotaping himself on a lime scooter, being like, I'm coming to get you, rattlesnake. It was the most hilarious thing in the world. And the guy ended up being kind of funny about it. He got there, and he was like, oh. Oh, yeah, you got me. But now he thinks I'm coming Tuesday. I told him. I was like. Then I said, I was like, I will really be in Vegas on Tuesday, though. Meet me at the UFC Performance Institute. I told them to meet me at an actual UFC training facility that you have to have access to, like, with people in the know.

[Lewis Gomez]

Performance Institute. Like, Juilliard.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, just like that. And so I think this guy's going to show up on Tuesday as well and be upset, but that's. My new thing, is accepting challenges in random cities and not being there. So. So, yeah, it's a good time. But, I mean, look, I would fucking. If it was a fan, that.

[Lewis Gomez]

I think you should accept one. I think you should troll everyone but one guy.

[Zach Amico]

At Skank Fest, I trained with a bunch of fans, and it was awesome, but it was, like, a controlled environment, and, like, you could tell a few of them were trying to fucking get their licks in, but it was like, you know, that hates that. It was. It was a controlled environment, and it was, like, genuinely sparring. And people try. When you spar with each other, you're trying to, like, you shift down. If I'm Sparring with somebody that's not as good as me, I shift down to their level. I'm not just trying to beat the piss out of them. There's. There's no upside for anybody, so. But yeah, that's that. Excuse me. New York pet shops. Ally's gonna be so happy. You're gonna be so happy. They're banned from selling dogs, cats, and rabbits starting yesterday, prompting a major price cut to clear furry inventory. What does this mean, Shannon?

[Lewis Gomez]

They're all the. They're all on sale so that you can get them now before they go.

[Zach Amico]

But it's over now.

[Shannon]

You just missed it.

[Zach Amico]

Why would you bring this up Saturday when I wanted to buy a dachshund?

[Shannon]

I didn't know until today, but because this is just New York, though, so New Jersey, you're probably still fine. But what they're doing is they're trying to push for people to adopt animals so that it'll stop the, like, bad breeding practices where they shove like a bunch of puppies in like one crate, which, whatever. So now you can still go to the places, but it's adoption only. So you can still probably get them cheaper. But as of yesterday, they were like. He had like one picture. They were 70 off.

[Zach Amico]

Whoa. She had a.

[Ally Mae]

You don't want that kind of dog. You don't want that.

[Zach Amico]

I literally do.

[Ally Mae]

You really don't have. You bought a dog from a store before? There. There's something about all of them.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, look at that. Look how happy they are.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, let's all go buy some dogs.

[Zach Amico]

Come on.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I kind of love that. I love that dog.

[Zach Amico]

Cool looking dog.

[Shannon]

They sold this dog for 500 bucks. Initially it was 3250.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, I. I was just talking about buying a dog.

[Shannon]

I just saw it today.

[Zach Amico]

What is your problem?

[Shannon]

But you can probably go now and adopt and not have to buy. So it's still going to be.

[Zach Amico]

Then I got to go through the whole pro. The process of adopting a dog.

[Shannon]

Have to fill out a questionnaire.

[Lewis Gomez]

You buy that dog 500, flip them on eBay for 21. Oh, my God, you're looking good.

[Zach Amico]

Smart idea.

[Ally Mae]

I don't want to seem evil. It's not, you know, I'm not evil. But it's just. It's very. It's a very privileged thing to have a dog. And then all it does is bring problems into your life. So to me, it just doesn't make any sense.

[Zach Amico]

It's a privileged thing to have a dog.

[Ally Mae]

It is. I can't afford to go to the doctor. You're gonna get me jerking off the vet for $2,000?

[Zach Amico]

Well, that's also crazy.

[Ally Mae]

Get a marble.

[Zach Amico]

There's dog health insurance, though, which is probably a good idea, Right?

[Lewis Gomez]

Okay, again, you got a free plastic bag from the bodega. You can just put your dog down yourself.

[Zach Amico]

I have a. I have a friend who's. Her dad. Drowned her cat in a pillowcase. Tied it up in a pillowcase, cuz. Like, scratch up the furniture and throw it off the bridge.

[Ally Mae]

Wow.

[Lewis Gomez]

Threw it off a bridge.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Jesus Christ.

[Ally Mae]

Wow. Yeah, that's pretty.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, the. The amount. Like, I understand it being a crime of passion in the moment. You're like, you. You grab the cat, but you have to get it in the. First of all, it's freaking out. You got to get.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I was going to say there is a really funny 10 seconds of him getting out of the car and walking to the end of the bridge with just a bag on.

[Zach Amico]

And he threw it off the bridge. The. The Brooklyn Bridge.

[Ally Mae]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And drowned a cat. I don't know if the cat survived the impact of the. But it probably did, right?

[Lewis Gomez]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

No.

[Zach Amico]

You don't think.

[Tim McLaughlin]

No one had to die eight more times, Lou.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, let's see. Ooh. Well, it's just a. This is a guy who has. Says his name is just a bunch of letters in the shape of a dick. He says that I'm full of. Why would I make that up? Why would I ever make that up? She might have made it up, you know, but why would I ever. I have so many stories in life.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Why would I just now start making up stories?

[Ally Mae]

Right.

[Lewis Gomez]

I like how you're letting 8 =. *. Equal sign.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. That's literally what it is. Well, I have to engage with the chats. That's what they pay for. Yeah. Let's see. Let's. We'll do another one. Shannon. Inconsistence. No, no, I don't give a. About that one, Shannon.

[Shannon]

What about the DJ getting stabbed?

[Zach Amico]

Sure.

[Shannon]

Okay. So in Portland, by the way, I. I'm suspicious that this is all just, like, a ploy for marketing because of the things they keep mentioning, but a Portland stripper was arrested after an unprovoked stabbing on a dj. I do have a video of it happening, but. But the club, they keep saying it's a vegan strip club, which is.

[Lewis Gomez]

They got a lot of those.

[Shannon]

Oh, so it's like a normal thing, Vegan strip club.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's like a thing. That's A thing. In Portland, they got, like, ugly strippers, and that's wild.

[Shannon]

So here's. Here's the lounge. So it's just like. I'm just going to. I'm going to start in a second. But here's. Here's. The stripper right here, and she's just kind of chilling there for a second. And here's the dj.

[Lewis Gomez]

She looks malnourished.

[Zach Amico]

She looks like Ali May. What? Oh, oh, oh. How many times she stabbed him? Three.

[Shannon]

It was like four or five times. And then he was able to get to the hospital. She punctured one of his lungs. But the cops got there and the ambulance got there within six minutes, so they were able to save his life.

[Zach Amico]

Whoa. Puncturing a lung. He's a big guy, too.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like it's a lot to.

[Lewis Gomez]

Get through to get to that lung.

[Ally Mae]

Well, he learned a lesson. Play the song right when I say play the song.

[Zach Amico]

True.

[Ally Mae]

And don't cut it off early, because I made a whole little dance about this.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that's true. It's also. They make money for. Per song. Well, you cut. They kind of want them to cut the song off early.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, they do?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

They. They have shortened versions of songs at strip clubs for sure.

[Ally Mae]

Really?

[Tim McLaughlin]

Oh, I've definitely gotten a lap dance. Been like, goodbye Horses is way longer. There's a bridge. There's a whole bunch of.

[Lewis Gomez]

They cut three. They cut Free Bird down to two and a half minutes.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy. So what happened? She got arrested?

[Shannon]

Yeah, they found her in the bushes shortly after. She's 29 years old. He said he had worked with her only a couple times before, never had an issue with her. She was arrested and charged with second degree assault and attempted first degree assault and unlawful use of a weapon.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, not. Not attempted murder. That's crazy. Why? He almost died. She punctured his lung.

[Lewis Gomez]

The knife might not have been long enough for attempted murder. Doesn't it have to be a. A certain length for attempted murder?

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Lewis Gomez]

No. I have no idea.

[Zach Amico]

You just completely made that up.

[Lewis Gomez]

Well, I've been watching a lot of.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Are you talking about the legal knife thing in New York where it's supposed to be your hand?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, maybe.

[Zach Amico]

Is that. Is that also true?

[Lewis Gomez]

What if your hand's, like, as big as Kawhi Leonard's, though?

[Ally Mae]

I have long fingers. I can have a long.

[Tim McLaughlin]

It's your four.

[Zach Amico]

I think there's.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I think it's a.

[Zach Amico]

That's probably not true.

[Tim McLaughlin]

It's probably not true.

[Zach Amico]

It's probably a specific inches that you have. I. I have two knives that I carry on me. I have one in my car, and then I have one at my house, but I always have a knife in my car. Once that guy pulled the knife on me where I was road raging on him. And then I got out. I was like, let's do something. Then he got out with a knife, and I was like, oh. I was like, let me just have my own knife. Because that's a good idea. So we can have knife fights.

[Ally Mae]

And do you. Let's be honest. Are we actually following the law about the fingers anyway? I have brass knuckles. They're illegal in New York. Of course. I only keep them in Pennsylvania.

[Zach Amico]

Where they're legal.

[Ally Mae]

Where they're legal?

[Zach Amico]

Of course. Yes.

[Ally Mae]

But. Yeah. Why should you follow that law?

[Zach Amico]

Well, because I don't want to. I get pulled over. I haven't. I've only been pulled over a couple times, but, you know, you think the cops would do a better job. Maybe I wouldn't get in so many accidents if the cops would pull me over a little more.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. Hey, I'm doing a bad job driving.

[Ally Mae]

A peek into a romantic relationship. I might not have cheated if she pulled me over.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, what's the legal limit for the size of a knife in New York?

[Shannon]

It is.

[Tim McLaughlin]

What seems to be the problem?

[Ally Mae]

Stuck. EMS.

[Zach Amico]

4 or more inches, regardless of whether any part of the knife, including the blade, is visible or concealed. Wait a minute. Hold on.

[Lewis Gomez]

Everything on me is legal.

[Zach Amico]

Is the. The blade is four more inches. So. Yeah, No, I don't think. I think my. I think specifically the knives they sent me from Dollar Knife Club or whatever was called wasn't even that sponsor. Great sponsor. Why they stop sponsoring us?

[Tim McLaughlin]

Monthly knifely Knife box.

[Zach Amico]

Monthly Knife box. Monthly Knife Club.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah. That's about four inches. Because.

[Ally Mae]

Wait, that's amazing. Like a wine of the month.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. They. They give you different knives.

[Ally Mae]

Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

It's really cool. I. This is a free ad for them. Monthly knife club was pretty. They sent us boxes of knives and they were all really cool. Sharp as knives, dude.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. That's sick.

[Zach Amico]

Like, really awesome. Like, every time you buy a knife at like a. Like a. It's never that sharp. These things were, like, crazy. Sure. I have a little black knife. It's badass.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. I have any leftover.

[Zach Amico]

I'll give you a knife.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, I would love a knife.

[Zach Amico]

I'll give you a knife.

[Ally Mae]

Hey, look at that.

[Zach Amico]

I got a knife for you.

[Ally Mae]

Hey, thank you.

[Zach Amico]

But your knives are just Cool.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Tim McLaughlin]

You just killed a dog.

[Ally Mae]

Well, Lewis is never going to give me the knife. Remember when he said he would give me a PA System for my Honda Psis?

[Shannon]

I actually did order that. That.

[Ally Mae]

You did?

[Shannon]

Yes, I did.

[Ally Mae]

Is it here?

[Shannon]

I don't know. Let me.

[Zach Amico]

You ordered a PA system from me for. I don't remember any of this.

[Shannon]

I paid for it. I didn't end up getting how much. I think it was like 30 bucks.

[Zach Amico]

What is a PA system?

[Ally Mae]

To put on top of my Honda so I can confront people when I'm driving.

[Zach Amico]

I. That's insane. I don't remember this conversation at all. But sh.

[Lewis Gomez]

You need the drugs for your bipolar disorder. I need a PA system so I can yell at strangers and get shot in my car. Car.

[Tim McLaughlin]

I need the people on the outside of the car to hear the voices.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Ally, you're a wild one. Shannon, give her that PA system. I don't want to be a liar.

[Shannon]

I'm asking Karen for it because I don't remember seeing it, but I know I ordered it.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, well, there you go. If you guys want to send us any gifts, including gifts for Ali May or any of the other guests on the show, or me or Zach this holiday season. 151 First Avenue, New York, NY 10003. Box number 311. Remember 311? Remember being 311. Coming like a nightmare what luck. I'm gonna go for it around and what you gotta show for it. Let it be known that I'm in the zone and whatever I need, I just pick up the phone Because I'm true with it and you're new with it.

[Lewis Gomez]

First CD I ever bought, it's called Hive.

[Ally Mae]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

I don't need friends that act like foes. Because I'm Nick Hexum, the one who knows about them swings because it takes two and we swang better than you. Blown hive and it's time for the dub and we roll to the club and you know just what I do. I'm hitting in the freak mode. Putting on a load, sipping on some guinea. Then lo and behold, Univision comes from bottom to top and I just can't stop 311. Show them that the air is rarefied, don't give a damn cause the groove is hellified. Grew up punk listening to funk. I'm a hyper type of fellow that does not touch junk. You're at the back of the pack at the bottom of the sack. So get back what you get when you steady talking. Go, go for Shelf is on the shelf. It's 95. And we go for the hive.

[Lewis Gomez]

World's greatest podcaster.

[Ally Mae]

What a way to come out of the closet.

[Lewis Gomez]

You should have done that at Al's show. People would have clapped.

[Ally Mae]

At least that's what suck.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Gonzo says this sucks.

[Lewis Gomez]

Good man, Gonzo, though.

[Zach Amico]

L. Lin said sucks. Producers, George says boo. And all that other stuff. All right, whatever. You guys, you guys. Jenna, what's. Do we have an update with L G man, Louie, G man, anything.

[Shannon]

I. I feel like people have stopped paying attention to it.

[Zach Amico]

What I say. Didn't I say that last week? I don't want to. I don't want to toot my own toot, but two things. Number one, stock in United Health dropped a wild amount. They lost like 500 or $52 billion or whatever.

[Ally Mae]

It's incredible.

[Zach Amico]

But that's not. It's not. That's not a good. That just means that people are going to get rich off of their stock because it's going to go right back up. Nobody's going to give a. People have already stopped talking about Luigi Manon. The. The end result of this is that United Health. There we go. Look at that.

[Ally Mae]

Is this real?

[Zach Amico]

You're welcome.

[Ally Mae]

Is this real?

[Zach Amico]

You're welcome.

[Ally Mae]

I'm going to. How. I'm so fucking excited.

[Zach Amico]

This is it. You have it.

[Ally Mae]

But how do you speak into it?

[Zach Amico]

Well, you have to attach it to your car. What.

[Ally Mae]

What can one do with this?

[Zach Amico]

Put it in your pussy.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, I'm sorry. Do you not know how PAs work? It's no pussy.

[Zach Amico]

Put it into your pussy.

[Ally Mae]

Okay. Okay. I'm really excited about this. I don't know how it works. I feel like it probably came with a box, but with instructions or.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Ludy says the regs. Lewis has a completely different opinion. No, no, no. What happened was on the regs, when the regs happened, it was a brand new sort. We just found out there was a person on the loose who had killed the United Healthcare CEO. And it was a big story and it was like hilarious. Then the smoke cleared and I found out details about it and I was like, all right, the. The real opinion is on the. On this is that people shouldn't murder other people, even if they're CEOs from United.

[Lewis Gomez]

God.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. What?

[Lewis Gomez]

Get your commandments out of here.

[Ally Mae]

Get these Puerto Rican card out of his pocket.

[Zach Amico]

So that was it.

[Ally Mae]

Throw it off a bridge.

[Zach Amico]

And then the other side of it.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Is that it's called an ebt.

[Zach Amico]

Card. The other side of it was that honestly, you, you should, you should purchase stock in UnitedHealthcare because it's just gonna go up and you will make money at it, unquestionably. When something like this happens, it's the stock takes a hit. Perfect time to buy. And it'll be short and quick. Get in, get out. I guarantee you in a month the stock's gonna go right back up. You make a lot of money, did you?

[Lewis Gomez]

Were you United Healthcare?

[Zach Amico]

Do you really?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, I had to look.

[Zach Amico]

That's hilarious.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, I don't have United. What do I have? I don't remember what I have.

[Ally Mae]

Did you like it when it happened?

[Zach Amico]

Did I? Did I? I didn't. I don't. Let me make this also very good. I don't care. I don't care about this guy. I don't care about Luigi. But we have to talk for a living. So if you press me, my opinion is no, we shouldn't be celebrate. No, you shouldn't be celebrating people murdering other people. No matter how great their abs are, no matter how shitty the guy's job was. Was Luigi. Man's a piece of. Sure, that guy's a piece of too.

[Ally Mae]

But I've been rock hard since this happened.

[Lewis Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, I, I listen, you're allowed to kill people. Who cares? Them. And that guy who's dead, I don't give a about him.

[Ally Mae]

Obviously not killing regular people. But I do think that we need to start killing. I've been saying for a while, well, and now everyone is coming along to it, and it's that when people snap and they finally reach their breaking point, they should not walk into the movie theater and do that. They need to show up at government buildings and.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I can. I agree with that a lot.

[Ally Mae]

And that's what's happening here.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it's not a government building.

[Ally Mae]

It's not a government building, but private.

[Zach Amico]

Citizen who has a job as a CEO.

[Ally Mae]

Okay. Government buildings, health insurance companies, things like that.

[Lewis Gomez]

I mean, he's killed more people than Luigi Mangione has.

[Zach Amico]

Has he? Yes, that's what, that's what, that's just not true. Okay, yes, I understand. I understand that the health care industry sucks, but I'm not even going to get into this. I don't care. And it seems like I care. I don't actually care.

[Shannon]

I did find two, two new things here. So one thing is he hired a top lawyer whose husband is representing P. Diddy. So the wife of P. Diddy's lawyer is representing Him. And then also it said that his grandmother mother left the family members millions. But there's a stipulation that it said that that can't murder anybody.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Yeah, they have to stay in a haunted house overnight.

[Shannon]

Actually, you're right that any grandchild receiving inheritance money must not be charged, indicted, convicted, or plead guilty to a felony. So he's gonna lose all his money.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Lewis Gomez]

No commissary for you, Luigi.

[Shannon]

Roughly $30 million to her grandchildren.

[Zach Amico]

But this is a super privileged person. Like, this is, like, this is a rich kid who was a valedictorian of a school, went to a Ivy League school, thought he was smarter than the cops, was living in this sort of fantasy, privileged horseshit fucking thing, and then went and committed a horrible fucking murder. Sure, fine. Maybe health care sucks and health care should be changed. But let's not celebrate that guy. That guy also sucks.

[Lewis Gomez]

I think it's also cool that he shot him with a fucking 3D printed gun. Fun.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's always fun.

[Zach Amico]

You know, that is fun. But, yeah, that's. That. I mean, you know, it's all good. I don't. I actually. I don't, but I don't. I'm. This isn't an issue of mine. Like, I'm not going like CEOs. Yeah, let's. Like, that's also not what you and.

[Lewis Gomez]

I are on the same page. That caring for about stuff is gay.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, exactly.

[Lewis Gomez]

That's why when people, like, kill themselves over something, it's the gayest thing.

[Zach Amico]

I agree. But I will say I've defended suicide plenty of times. Sure. Because if you don't. If you're not spiritual at all, it is just, you know, good night. How nice is that? Doesn't it sound beautiful? Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, doesn't. Like, that was before I had a kid. That was always my thing, my. I could always.

[Ally Mae]

Tap out whenever you want. Tap out of here.

[Zach Amico]

Ali, we are the same. Honestly, we're the same sort of crazy in a weird way, but if you're not spiritual, you don't believe in God. Think about how nice, like, I just started sleeping well again in the past, like, two weeks or a week. Right. I. I just. I. I've been taking magnesium. I'm drinking. Sleepy time, too. Day. Sleeping through the night for the first time in years.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it's delightful. Yeah. Just absolutely delightful. And I imagine forever.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. Thank you very forever. The longest nap.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

It sounds so amazing.

[Lewis Gomez]

Lewis, do it now.

[Ally Mae]

It sounds really good.

[Zach Amico]

You just don't get up. I mean, it does sound really Nice. But, yeah, I got a kid now. I can't do that to him.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Not until he's out of college.

[Zach Amico]

It's true. Not. Not like him. That Acura. There you go, James. I'll see you on the other side, my friend.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we're gonna wrap it up. I'm wrapping it up, you guys. The. Thank you, guys, for watching. We'll be back on Wednesday. Yep, back on Wednesday. Another show. We got a couple more shows this week, and then Christmas week. What's our schedule for Christmas, Shannon? Are we doing anything crazy, or are we. Well, I know I'm taping one in Austin.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Then we have a best of.

[Zach Amico]

For what, Christmas Day?

[Shannon]

Yeah, for Christmas day.

[Zach Amico]

Christmas Day is the best of Christmas. So don't expect a new episode on Christmas Day.

[Shannon]

And then we're back that Friday, but.

[Zach Amico]

We'Re back on Friday with an exclusive episode for Gas Digital subscribers. So, yeah, guys, enjoy your holidays. Enjoy your week. Hopefully you guys are getting all your shopping done. I gotta go buy a goddamn Oculus 3. I bought the fucking 3s for my son by mistake, and now he. The 3s just isn't. I gave him the 2 last year, you know, and he loves it. But you can't play the Batman game on it. Of course.

[Lewis Gomez]

I heard that Batman game is sick.

[Zach Amico]

It looks sick. He watches, like, streamers, and he's like, dad, it's all I want is play this Batman game. I was like, james, you have. And I'm mean about it. Like, you have an Oculus. This is crazy. I was like, we're not wasting money. Like, I get really, like. Like, we're not wasting Money on Oculus 3. This is what he's getting. Yeah. You know, obviously. But I'm like, no, James. Yeah, for the. For the. For the camera. Who cares? Like, who cares? He's like, all right, dad. You're right. You're right. I have enough.

[Ally Mae]

But now that makes you want to buy it for.

[Zach Amico]

Well, then I got the 3s, which apparently, like, the optics and the cameras aren't as good, and the three is, like, a higher. So now I have to return the 3s, which I'm probably never gonna do. Maybe I'll just give it away to the fans. Should I give away a 3s on the show?

[Lewis Gomez]

That would be sick.

[Zach Amico]

That's like. You know what this we're gonna do? We're gonna do a contest. What? What do we do, Shannon? We got to do a contest. Contest. We'll give away an Oculus 3S. It's just sitting in my house right now.

[Lewis Gomez]

But don't you have to sign up for Gas Digital using Laz?

[Zach Amico]

You got to be a subscriber using the code Laz. Actually, that's a great way to do it. You know what? We'll give it away.

[Ally Mae]

Marketing genius.

[Zach Amico]

That's all I need. If you. I'm gonna pick one random subscriber to Gas Digital that has signed up with the promo code Laz. And we're gonna pick this on Monday. Shannon.

[Shannon]

Well, then you do it on your road episode.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I kind of wanted to have.

[Shannon]

It for Christmas, so maybe that exclusive episodes is already a subscriber Friday.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, that's a good idea, Shannon. Yeah, I run the pod.

[Zach Amico]

What'd you say?

[Shannon]

It's actually tomorrow.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, we'll have to do on a Monday show or whatever. We can give it away after Christmas. Nobody cares, right?

[Ally Mae]

No, give it to someone for Christmas. Maybe they could give it to their kid.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I know. That's why I want to do it. But the problem is they're not going to get it by Christmas no matter what. There's no way to get this.

[Ally Mae]

You could just give it to someone in the live chat.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna give it away even though.

[Ally Mae]

They'Ve probably been calling me ugly. Not.

[Zach Amico]

No, they think you're hot. They think you're hot. Some of them are like you're a rabid dog and you're a piece of and all that other stuff. But every. Most. You're hot. Most of them think that we want to smash. Everyone's going like Lewis and Ally. They're having a real connection right now. A lot of people are saying that.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, right, guys? Lewis doesn't have the balls.

[Zach Amico]

I have balls. They're not big. I have small balls. I will say that. Oh, my balls aren't huge. It get it makes me self conscious when girls rub them. I'm like, stop rubbing. Stop rubbing my small balls.

[Lewis Gomez]

Doesn't that help your look bigger though?

[Zach Amico]

Maybe compared to your little balls. I don't have big balls.

[Tim McLaughlin]

Not compared to his big legs.

[Lewis Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Huge legs, small balls. Okay. Cock. Let's see. Ebis NY says try hard. Gomez. Shannon. He's the only one who is not allowed to win the Oculus. That guy Shannon, he's completely, completely 100 not allowed to win the Oculus.

[Lewis Gomez]

I hope. 8. =. =. Equal sign. D wins it.

[Zach Amico]

He's. He's still eligible. No. We're gonna give this away on the Friday show after Christmas as a special prize for one Subscriber. So this way. But they have a little time to subscribe. People are watching this on YouTube and elsewhere. Go subscribe. The subscription is worth it by itself. I mean, just getting the bonus episode of the Lewis and Zach show and, you know, the racist live chat, pre release, all that other stuff, you get all those nice member benefits. And then I'm gonna pick one subscriber with the code Laz. We'll give it away next Friday, announce it on the show. So make sure you guys are in the chat. That'd be nice if you're actually in the chat. You know what? Do you have to be in the chat? No, that's mean. People go to work. I can't do that.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, no, no, I think they should be in the chat. If they're not in the chat, they're not working. If they're not working, they have no money and they need the Oculus.

[Zach Amico]

That's a great point. You know What? Next Friday, the 27th of December, we're giving away an Oculus 3S. It's better than the 2. Not as good as the 3. Not as good as the 3, but it will be great. It's fucking. I got the. The one with a lot of memory on it, too. It was like 500 bucks. It was fucking crazy. So you guys are gonna get a Oculus 3S. I will say I. Part of me wants to keep it for myself because Porn on the 3s is a whole different thing. So torn on the 2. I have. I have two Oculus. Two twos. Porn on the Oculus 2 is great.

[Lewis Gomez]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

But the 3s has passed through, or the 3s pass through technology. What that means is there are certain games and things you can do where you put it on and you're in the room and then, like, you know, you'll fight characters in the room. Like, somebody will walk in, but it looks like you're just in real life fighting guys. So the porn. The porn that, like, you literally, you're in your bed and a girl comes over and starts sucking your dick, as opposed to you being in their 3D world.

[Ally Mae]

Interesting.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lewis Gomez]

So that's because of the cameras on the outside.

[Zach Amico]

Cameras on the outside room. Yes. So the porn on. That would be delightful. It ruined porn for me. VR porn ruined porn for me.

[Lewis Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So.

[Tim McLaughlin]

But if you forget to charge it, the lady you looks like your elderly a.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we're done. Thank you for watching. We'll be back on on Wednesday.