0021. Ryan Shaner and JP McDade

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Luis and Zac Show – Episode 0021: Ryan Shaner and JP McDade

Release Date: December 22, 2024
Hosts: Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico
Guests: Ryan Shaner and JP McDade
Produced by: GaS Digital Network

---

1. Introduction and Guest Welcome (00:40 - 05:00)

In this lively episode, hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico kick off with their trademark unapologetic humor. They introduce their guests, Ryan Shaner and JP McDade, setting the stage for a discussion filled with raw honesty and comedic banter.

Notable Quote:

• Zach Amico [02:09]: "They don't want to come at the rattles. They don't want the venom."

---

2. The Ethics of Slavery and Historical Context (05:00 - 09:00)

The conversation shifts to a deep dive into the historical context of slavery. Zach shares a personal anecdote about discussing a 1932 Disney cartoon depicting racist stereotypes with his son, James. This leads to a broader discussion on whether all slave owners were inherently racist or if some treated their slaves well.

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Amico [06:16]: "People are looking for something to be mad about. If you're looking for the microaggressions and you're looking for the racism in life, you'll find it every time."
• Luis J. Gomez [07:07]: "Every culture in existence until the year 1863."

---

3. Confrontation at the Auto Showroom (09:00 - 17:00)

Zach recounts a harrowing experience at the Generic Auto Showroom in Queens, where he attempted to purchase an Acura TLX. The situation escalates when the manager pulls out a katana sword, leading to a tense standoff. The hosts and guests humorously speculate on what could have happened, highlighting Zach's confrontational nature.

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Amico [15:03]: "They start cursing at each other. Now he's like, do something. Do So, I was like, hit me. Hit me. I'll break your jaw."
• Ryan Shaner [16:40]: "We're waiting for the police cam footage to come back."

---

4. Product Promotions and Sponsorships (Throughout the Episode)

While this episode contains numerous sponsorship segments promoting products like YoDelta (Delta-8 THC products) and Mando deodorant, these sections are interspersed with the main content. The hosts seamlessly integrate these promotions into their conversations, maintaining the show's energetic pace.

Notable Promo Mention:

• Zach Amico [17:07]: "Go to yodelta.com, use the promo code GAS. Save yourself 25% off."

---

5. Discussion on Dog Aggression and Legal Implications (17:00 - 35:00)

A significant portion of the episode delves into the topic of dog aggression, particularly focusing on pit bulls. The hosts debate the responsibility of dog owners, the genetics of aggression in dogs, and the legal consequences of attacking animals. They share opinions on whether certain actions, like shooting a dog, can ever be justified.

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Amico [41:07]: "Most pit bulls that I've interacted with have been sweethearts of dogs, but they're owned by white people who know how to train their dog."
• Ryan Shaner [42:34]: "We need to make a group of pit bulls with square teeth. Square, goofy, big teeth."

---

6. Contemplation on Gun Ownership and Self-Defense (35:00 - 55:00)

The conversation shifts to gun ownership, self-defense measures, and the complexities of obtaining a concealed carry permit in New Jersey. The hosts discuss personal experiences with firearms, debating the practicality and ethics of carrying guns for protection.

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Amico [50:00]: "You don’t know what you're doing. I would think that you are the same person."
• Ryan Shaner [49:51]: "They offer things called training on the safe handling and use of handguns."

---

7. Reflections on Pornography and Personal Habits (55:00 - 71:00)

In a candid and unfiltered segment, the hosts discuss their personal experiences and opinions on pornography. They share anecdotes about their consumption habits, the impact on their perceptions, and societal changes affecting the availability of certain types of adult content.

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Amico [78:00]: "I used to have a joke about it. I used to say it's like the first time you hold a black cock, you're like, that's heavy. Holy. That's power."
• Ryan Shaner [80:31]: "You got to use the term nubile."

---

8. Listener Interaction and Q&A (71:00 - 87:00)

The episode includes interactions with listeners, where the hosts respond to calls and messages. Topics range from personal anecdotes to feedback on recent events, maintaining the show's interactive and engaging nature.

Notable Quote:

• Zach Amico [83:00]: "You could squeeze in that course."

---

9. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Content (87:00 - End)

In the final segment, the hosts wrap up the episode by teasing future shows, giveaways, and updates from their network. They emphasize community engagement and promote upcoming tours and specials.

Notable Quote:

• Zach Amico [89:00]: "We're giving away an Oculus 3S live on the show, so make sure you guys are in the live chat on December 27."

---

Conclusion:

Episode 0021 of The Luis and Zac Show offers a blend of sharp humor, controversial topics, and unfiltered discussions. From historical debates on slavery to personal stories of confrontation and reflections on societal issues like dog aggression and gun ownership, the hosts and their guests provide a no-holds-barred exploration of diverse subjects. This episode exemplifies the show's commitment to fearless and unapologetic conversations, making it a compelling listen for those seeking both laughs and thought-provoking dialogue.

Highlighted Quotes:

• Zach Amico [06:16]: "People are looking for something to be mad about. If you're looking for the microaggressions and you're looking for the racism in life, you'll find it every time."
• Ryan Shaner [42:34]: "We need to make a group of pit bulls with square teeth. Square, goofy, big teeth."

---

Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the core discussions and insights presented during the episode.

Transcript

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's better over here at&T customers.

[Zach Amico]

Switching to T Mobile has never been easier.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We'll pay off your existing phone and.

[Zach Amico]

Give you a new one free.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com carrierfreedom to switch today.

[Zach Amico]

Pay off up to $650 via virtual prepaid MasterCard in 15 days. Free phone up to $830 via 24 monthly bill credits plus tax. Qualifying port in trade in service on Go 5G next and credit required. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits. Your credit stop and balance and required finance agreement is due.

[Ryan Shaner]

Fill her up. You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[Zach Amico]

You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko, red dot, headshot. Eat a sniper. The Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper. And it came to attack, spilling crack on the track. Sup, boys? It's your boy, Luis J. Gomez. I am the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, number one podcaster in the world. I'm not just gonna call myself that. Who's better than me at podcasting?

[Luis J. Gomez]

And if they are, are they really gonna admit it?

[Zach Amico]

They. Well, they don't want to challenge me.

[J.P. McDade]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They don't want to come at the rattles.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They don't want that smoke.

[Zach Amico]

They don't want the venom.

[J.P. McDade]

Ira Glass versus Louis J. Go. Let's go in the octagon.

[Zach Amico]

Let's go. I'll fucking choke Ira Glass out. I don't even know if that's a woman or a man. I've heard that name so many times. I quote Ira Glass.

[Ryan Shaner]

You quote it.

[Zach Amico]

Ira Glass. Quote, about talent, about appreciating talent. Great quote, great quote. Talking about how you, you know, you. If you have good or I'm not talent. Taste. No matter how, if you're. If you have good taste, you're trying to emulate your great taste, and you never feel like you're good enough. And it's just. I was. I was a. I read that. I was like, that's great. And then I found out I was an actual. That said it.

[J.P. McDade]

So would you.

[Ryan Shaner]

Would it. Would it change your view if you found out if it was a man or.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's a man.

[Ryan Shaner]

You think it's.

[Zach Amico]

I think I found out it's a man. Right?

[J.P. McDade]

Fights off. It's a man.

[Zach Amico]

There he is. What's up?

[Ryan Shaner]

That's Iraq, dude. I honestly had no idea.

[Luis J. Gomez]

How did you think a man named Ira Glass?

[Ryan Shaner]

I gotta be honest. I Thought it was.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You thought it was gonna be Terry Crews?

[Ryan Shaner]

I thought it was like. I thought it was an older. Older guy with like a big beard.

[Zach Amico]

Ira Glass. Ira Glass. Ira Glass. Jaw. When I'm done with it, rattlesnake. What if he came at me, dude?

[J.P. McDade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What if Ira Glass was like, yo, I will fight you at Skank fights next year? Glass man is not happy. Jake Gomez. Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

Breaks both your thumbs back. Ira.

[Zach Amico]

No, guys. Sweet and Iron Glass harass him into fighting me. I will fight him if he want. If he accepts the challenge, I'll fight Hourglass at the next time.

[Ryan Shaner]

At this point, Ira Glass has nothing to lose.

[Zach Amico]

Really.

[Ryan Shaner]

Honestly, just do it.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, is he even relevant anymore?

[J.P. McDade]

His NPR fan base is pretty rabid. You don't want to rile them up, guys.

[Zach Amico]

They do you understand what my. Now my fan base may hate me, but they hate people that hate me more than they hate me. It's a weird thing. If somebody like on the outside starts like coming at me, they'll be like, yo, fuck you, he's our punching bag. And then they'll fucking attack.

[J.P. McDade]

Strict hierarchy of hate.

[Zach Amico]

It's kind of crazy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And Lewis is fine with that. His dad was an npr.

[Zach Amico]

That was actually solid, Zach. It was a solid fucking joke. It is the Lewis and Zach show, folks. We're very excited about today's show. It's Wednesday. We are live. We're live here if you guys want to chime in at any point. 573 gas line is the phone number. I like taking calls on the live show. Shannon. Once in a blue we'll get. We'll. We'll take calls, questions, whatever it is. If they have an interesting question, Shannon, you could patch them through. I don't mind if you think it's an interesting question, but we have a great show planned today. I am Luis J. Gomez. I am the point guard of podcasting. He is the international superstar, Zach Amico. This is the Lewis and Zach show.

[J.P. McDade]

Stockton and pro alone.

[Zach Amico]

Lewis and Zach are back. Two incredible white guests on the show. As always from the end podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Ryan Shaner back on the show.

[Ryan Shaner]

Thanks for having me, dude. So glad to be here.

[Zach Amico]

And I guess from no podcast at all, but brand new special I just saw on Stavi's channel just a little while ago. Very funny, hilarious comic, great roaster, great guy all around. The great J.P. mcDade back on the show.

[J.P. McDade]

Thank you, boys. To be stressed.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah. Doggy Shannon, how you feeling today, girl?

[Shannon]

Sorry, it's. We have somebody sitting in for Jorge today. Maybe just a little choppy.

[Zach Amico]

What do we have sitting in for Jorge today?

[Shannon]

Dom is sitting in for Jorge.

[Zach Amico]

Dom. We call him Dumb Dominic. Hi, Dominic, how are you? Can we go to the Dominic cam?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I bet we can't.

[Ryan Shaner]

How are you?

[Zach Amico]

Look at that. The lead singer of Coed and Cambria in the background, which is pretty cool. Claudio Sanchez just hanging out in the studios today in the background. Pretty sick.

[J.P. McDade]

Welcome, Claudio.

[Zach Amico]

Welcome home. We have an incredible show. A lot to talk about on today's show. Shannon, what up? We. What are we up against? In 1865, Columbus stepped on a beehive. Was that it?

[Shannon]

Nope.

[Zach Amico]

Damn it. What is it?

[Shannon]

In 1865, US abolished slavery.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. You know, I said, I did say this to my son yesterday. I was like, you know, I don't know how I got there, but I said the words. Not every slave owner was racist. I said that to my 12 year old, my 11 year old son. I. I swear to God. In all seriousness, I. We were just having a conversation overall about sort of like culture and how it changes. And we're talking about a cartoon from 1932 that was. We watched the Santa Claus cartoon. Pull up the. Pull up the Santa Claus cartoon with all like the little racist pickaninny dolls. And it's. And there's. It's on the Disney Channel and there's a warning that comes up and it's like, some people are gonna be offended by some images. Blah, blah. My son's like, why? And then we watched the cartoon and he didn't notice anything. And I noticed the little Piccanini dolls and I noticed a little Asian doll. And I was just kind of wanted. I wanted to see if he was going to pick up on what was wrong with it. And then he.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And he was looking, hey, they're not white.

[Ryan Shaner]

He's just inherently racist.

[Zach Amico]

Right?

[Ryan Shaner]

All.

[Zach Amico]

Well, no. He was like, I don't really know. And I was like, well, James, I was like, people are looking for something to be mad about. I was like, today's culture, nature versus.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Nurture versus N word.

[Zach Amico]

People want to look. People are looking. And if you're looking for the microaggressions and you're looking for the racism in life, you'll find it. You'll find it every time. And then we were driving in the car and I was making the point. I was like, James, I was like, look. I was like, I just looked at my hazard button on the car and I was like, it's a upside down red Triangle. I was like, I bet you if I looked upside down, red triangle, hate symbol. I was like, I bet you it exists. Sure enough, Nazi fucking symbol right there and then. Right.

[Ryan Shaner]

Also the symbol of Shadow. Shadow Lou from Street Fighter.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's not good.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, not good. Good. So, and then we got. Somehow we just went down the. We went down a path where I was like, you know, not every slave owner was racist shape. Some of them were good people.

[J.P. McDade]

I love that idea of the guy who's like, yeah, all my slaves are black, but you know what? They do great work.

[Ryan Shaner]

They proud, proud slave owners.

[Zach Amico]

Was there not. Was there not some proud ass slave owners who were nice to their slaves and treated their slaves pretty goddamn cool? It was a part of the culture. This is the point that I was making. And as you guys were looking at me the same way he looked at me, he. Like he couldn't connect with it. I was like, no, no, no. It was just the culture.

[J.P. McDade]

A lot of it was also every culture in existence until the year 1863.

[Zach Amico]

Right, exactly. Every. Like, I'm. Obviously it's not right. It's an evil practice. But at the same time, like, you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Know, statistically, there had to be some that were nice.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Of course.

[J.P. McDade]

Enslaved people of their own race, too.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I bet you. Shannon, can we. Can you do a little research and find the friendliest slave owner? I bet you that's like.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, like a first name basis type. They're like, please. Jeff, masses. My father, Cornelius.

[Ryan Shaner]

Look, we work hard, we also play hard.

[Zach Amico]

Guys. I'm assuming some slave owners, they treated their slaves like gold. They were very valuable slaves as well. I. If I had slaves, and I would have. Let's see. John Penny was a slave owner who treated his slaves well by providing medical care, setting aside land for them to grow their own food, and giving them clothing. He also made sure that his managers didn't treat the slaves harshly. And he prepared to show visitors how well the slaves were treated. Penny's plantation was called Mound Traverse and was located on the Caribbean island of Jamaica. Oh, my God. This is my fucking spirit animal.

[J.P. McDade]

It was on island time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's. Let's get a close up of them.

[Ryan Shaner]

That was Frederick Douglass is who that was.

[J.P. McDade]

Yeah. That was not.

[Zach Amico]

I did live on Frederick.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that was Frederick.

[Ryan Shaner]

That was fresh.

[Zach Amico]

That was Frederick Douglass.

[J.P. McDade]

Frederick Douglass famously got sent to a slave owner, a slave breaker, who was like, more harsh than his slave master because he was like, well, he was like disobedient. So they sent him to another Guy who's like, I slaves up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[J.P. McDade]

Professionally.

[Zach Amico]

That's actually, like, if you remove the racism from it, a really fun job, dude. Like, think about how fun it would be to be a slave breaker.

[Ryan Shaner]

Also sick wrestling name.

[Zach Amico]

Slave breaker. Oh, my God. He's gonna give him the whip. I can't believe it. King.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's. It's a slave breaker.

[Zach Amico]

Now back out.

[Ryan Shaner]

He whipped him, King.

[J.P. McDade]

He's taking the shackles out of the bag.

[Zach Amico]

Who could it be? The lights went out. There's.

[Ryan Shaner]

There's a bunch of black people running away. King.

[Zach Amico]

This. I'll tell you right now, I'm not, you know, obviously, I'm not for slavery. I'm just saying, if you're gonna have slaves treat them nice, do it right. Is that not a good thing?

[Ryan Shaner]

If you guys can dig your own pool, you can use it whenever you want.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, is there another. Is there another famous slave owner that. That was particularly friendly?

[Shannon]

I did find the actual picture of that.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's gonna be a shallow pool.

[Shannon]

Share this.

[J.P. McDade]

Master Rogers.

[Shannon]

This was. This is the other guy.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's the. That's the cool guy. Yeah.

[Shannon]

That's.

[J.P. McDade]

Welcome, friends.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah. N. Word, are you feeling sad today? Do your hands hurt? Sometimes my hands hurt too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I have. I have. I have no issue with, you know, people owning slaves back then. It was part of the culture. It was like, yeah, there must have.

[Ryan Shaner]

Been a guy who could afford slaves, but he was just really lonely. He just wanted people to hang out with all the time.

[Zach Amico]

I would be a fun slave, you know, I would be a very fun slave owner.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Like, cool guy.

[Zach Amico]

No, I would. I really would. I swear to God, I would. We'd have parties. We would fucking. We'd listen to music. I would. I would help them myself on the field. I would make that. I would be a leader. I would lead by example.

[Ryan Shaner]

I'm never gonna ask you to a job I wouldn't do myself.

[Zach Amico]

God damn right. I really wouldn't.

[Ryan Shaner]

Look at you, dude.

[Zach Amico]

So look, let's see. We have a lot to talk about. First of all, I'm very excited. Zach, I bought you a Christmas gift. I bought you tickets to go see Sister of a Down. You did well.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Thank you. That's very, very kind of you.

[Zach Amico]

And my stupid sister as well, who's just unappreciative. And every other day now, it's just a new argument between me and her. Wow. Yeah, she sucks.

[Ryan Shaner]

She got system of a Brown. Yeah, she's a sister of a Brown. She's.

[Zach Amico]

No. Yeah, I got my sister A ticket as well. But, you know, this is nothing that I do is appreciate.

[Ryan Shaner]

She didn't like this. Now, is it because Corn is with him? She's not like Corn.

[Zach Amico]

No, she loves Corn. She was a Corn fan growing up, and I was the system of a down fan. And I was always like, yo, corn sucks. But it was really part of it was to just. With my sister, she liked Corn. So I was like, yo, corn sucks. And they did kind of suck. They were just kind of like. It was just kind of eye rolly. Ey. Yeah. They just weren't like, what? They're fine. We're going to see Corn. I think it'll be a fun show to go see. They have some hits or whatever. But I just. Whatever it was. Corn never really resonated with me. But I do think a big part of it was that my sister liked Corn. I wanted to like, yo, corn sucks, sister. Move down rules.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Dude eyes in Asian car service.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So. Oh, don't. I mean, we. I'm not going to get into the whole story because we already did it on Legion of Hanks and it's coming out on Christmas Eve, but they're.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I. I was very. You piqued my interest with your. Your. Your story, doggy.

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

[Zach Amico]

It's.

[Ryan Shaner]

I couldn't.

[Zach Amico]

It was the craziest interaction I've ever had with any human being in my entire life. I. Everyone knows on Monday's episode, I went to go look at a car in Queensland. That's a bad idea. Do not go. Do not go to auto showroom in Long Island City, Queens, because there's a chance that the situation could escalate. And yeah, the manager may pull a katana sword on you. That's literally.

[Ryan Shaner]

It was pretty amazing.

[J.P. McDade]

That's so honorable.

[Ryan Shaner]

It was. Dude.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. It started off. It was.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It started off that you went to a place called Generic Auto Showroom.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Lewis and I are the same person. Where we're both like. We're a little street smart. We get a deal. So, like, we're not. We're going. I go to when I got fucked up. The bed that I bought years ago, it was because I went to a place called Furniture.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I believe that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And I negotiated with a man with a diamond.

[J.P. McDade]

The names for all the bodegas.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. I negotiated with a man with a diamond tooth. And I. And paid cash and got exactly what I deserve.

[Zach Amico]

Zach, it was.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It did not work.

[Zach Amico]

Zach. It was the craziest thing I've ever And we have the videos. We'll do the videos and everything on Legion. I'll give. I'll give you the quick sort of like, story.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, he.

[Zach Amico]

We're waiting. We're waiting for the police cam footage, the. The chest cam footage to come back. We.

[Ryan Shaner]

We can see them doing nothing.

[Zach Amico]

We can see that. Well, we can see me being a lunatic and them all laughing behind my back probably.

[Ryan Shaner]

I bet they are.

[Zach Amico]

This is going to be the best part.

[J.P. McDade]

I cannot wait.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, it was insane. I talked to an Indian guy. He's like, come on down. He was like, would love to give you a test drive. Let's go. And the only reason I went to this place, because I don't know about cars. Nick Rochefort, who's become a pretty close friend at this point, he's the man. He. He loves cars and house. He buys cars and houses. He really. When I talked to him about it, he gets, like, really into it. He's like, dude, he's sending me listings. He's like, no, this one, this one, this one. I sent him this listing. And he's like, dude, that's the car. He was like, the color sucks, but you're Puerto Rican, so it's okay. It was a blue fucking. A blue accurate. Yeah. Acura tlx. All wheel drive. A spec. Fucking, you know it is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's what they said when Lewis pulled up.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, I performed a show with Louis CK last night. I was telling him the story and he was like, oh, that's a luxury car.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, that's.

[Zach Amico]

There it is right there. Look at it.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, that's pretty.

[Zach Amico]

It's a nice car. But this one's like tinted windows, rims. Like it was owned by a real spicaroo before specked out. Yeah. So, but so. And it was marked at like $22,000. And I'm planning on just walking in and just buying the. My whole plan was to walk in. I transferred all the money into my bank account from my. From my business account to my regular account. I was like, you know what? Let me buy this car. I want to have cash ready to go for it if I want to buy it. I don't want to go back to Queens. I want to go there once, pick up the car, drive the fuck out, and that's that, right? And I get there and I was like, yeah, so I'm here to test drive the car and there's an African manager of the place. And he's like, no, he's like, you can't test drive It. And I was like. But I was like, how? What? I was like, you know, and I have to test drive it.

[J.P. McDade]

He's like that Indian guy you spoke to on the phone. That was me.

[Zach Amico]

Like, dude, the Indian guy's there. Little short guy. You can see, he just wants to make a sale. And his crazy manager, you could. This. We went on that. We got the Yelp reviews on Legion of Things and everything. It's what. This place is a wild place.

[Ryan Shaner]

It is crazy.

[Zach Amico]

It's fucking crazy. So the manager, he's like, yeah, no, if you're going to buy it today, you can drive it. And I was like, but I'm not going to buy it unless I drive it.

[J.P. McDade]

It's not really a test drive.

[Zach Amico]

It's. I've literally. What's happening is I'm dumbfounded. And then I'm just kind of. I'm trying to make the point. I was like, you understand my point, right? I'm really just trying to get him to understand my point that it's crazy that you're asking me that you're telling me that I have to buy it first before I test drive it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You drive. You by what?

[Zach Amico]

What he really is saying is he thinks I'm a dirty spic and he wants to go check my credit. He wants to go make sure that, like, I'm actually. I. Because I'm sure people waste time, maybe, but you don't have to check my credit if I'm buying it in cash. But even so, he could have ran my. I've actually. I've weirdly. Really good credit. Really good credit. It's. It's. It was above 800 for a little while. I think it's a little below 800 right now. It's really great credit. Um, so I wouldn't even had an issue if he said, I just want to run your credit. I would have, like, why. But whatever. So I called Nick because he's. He recommended me this car. I'm like, dude, I was like, let me drive it. I was like, that's probably a sign that I shouldn't buy it, right? And he's like, let me talk to the guy. And the guy wouldn't get on the phone with him. It. They start, like, cursing at each other. And then I'm like, me and this guy are having this weird pissing contest. I don't know where we went left or we could have went right, but now we're threatening to fight each other. Now he. He's like. He's like, do something. Do So I was like, hit me. Hit me. I'll break your jaw. He goes, oh, yeah. And he goes in the office and pulls out a katana sword and chases me out of the.

[Ryan Shaner]

Then you hear the reg. Sh. Yep, that's me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I wonder, you may wonder how I got in this situation.

[Ryan Shaner]

Dude, it was definitely. I was waiting for you to flip the camera around, be like.

[Zach Amico]

It was.

[Ryan Shaner]

Without a doubt.

[J.P. McDade]

I mean, kill bill music.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's what.

[Zach Amico]

You literally made that joke, said that, dude. I was like.

[Ryan Shaner]

I was waiting for that to happen.

[J.P. McDade]

So we'll go over the horn. Mick horn mix.

[Zach Amico]

So what you guys? Legion of skanks on New Year's Eve? We're going over the whole thing. Videos, the cop show. They won't do anything. They treated me like I was the problem. It was the craziest scenario I've ever been in in my entire life. And look, I know that I'm the common denominator. I know that I find myself in these situations in life, but it's not that. Like, no, that guy and you. We read the UP Reviews. Okay, let's take a moment and thank Yo Delta for supporting today's show. We love Yo Delta because Yo Delta enables you to get really high, really cheap and legally because they have Delta 8 THC that is shipped right to your door. It's cheaper than weed. It's just as good as regular weed. It's just a different sort of chemical breakdown from regular thc. So that's, I guess, the loophole that a lot of these Delta 89 companies use. But, Yo Delta, it's an incredible product. When I was smoking weed, I was smoking the vapes. Anytime you saw me smoking a vape, it was a Yo Delta vape. So trust me, I will tell you right now from firsthand experience, I was a massive pothead, and it really does work.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That is true. Yo Delta has a great mix of gummies and vapes for all you're getting stone needs. When I bring weed to family functions for Christmas, Thanksgiving, anything I bring delta 8, nobody even questions what it is because it works. Delta 8 is something found in hep that can be legally shipped to almost every state, and it gets you really high. But let me tell you, this Delta 8 stuff works. And these products need to be taken responsibly.

[Zach Amico]

Just right now, go to yodelta.com, use the promo code GAS. GAS. Save yourself 25% off. That's a huge deal. Get some gummies, get some vapes, save a little bit of cash. Get stoned in the New Year, if that's your [e-mail]. all right, where were we? I think everyone finds themselves in these situations in life. They let it happen. Most people just let life wash over them and they just fudgeing, erode away. And they just take. And they just take it and take it and take it. And I'm just. I can't. Whatever it is, I. Something happens where I feel like I'm fucking wronged and I can't let it go. It's a Larry David thing. It really is. Except me and Larry David were just very different people. He, like, is nebbish and fucking, you know, complains like, I threatened to fight people. And it's. It's a. I know it's a problem and I know it's going to end up with me being Katana Katana, but.

[Ryan Shaner]

That'S what I said. It was like, if there's any way that I would. Look, I don't want you to die. Look lose. But if I found out you were slashed with a guitar, you were honor killed, I would be like, this is the coolest thing.

[J.P. McDade]

I would not even fact check it.

[Ryan Shaner]

I wouldn't even. I did.

[Zach Amico]

Sounds like yo, like, yo, like you'd speak at my funeral. Like, now we all know he deserved this, but he was a cool dude either way. He would have been the coolest slave owner ever.

[J.P. McDade]

There's two sides to every story, but there's only one edge to a katana.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Dude, if you got killed with a katana, how big of a blade would they need to kill James?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. The key sword, dude, it was. The whole thing was fucking out of control.

[J.P. McDade]

Would you say you stand up for yourself every time? Yeah, 100%.

[Zach Amico]

That's the problem.

[J.P. McDade]

And would you. Would you rather live like that or live the other way?

[Zach Amico]

I'd probably rather let things go, really, because it does give me. It causes problems in my life. The amount of times, like, I think about when my car was towed at the airport, right? Literally it ends with me going, yeah, give me a fucking ticket then. How about that? You give me a ticket, I'll take your. I'll pay your. And then it's like me being arrested in my car being towed, and I'm like, how did this happen?

[Ryan Shaner]

Keep it down.

[Zach Amico]

I. I need to just shut up. Shut up. It is One of the 48 laws of power is that you shouldn't be fudgeing, yelling and screaming at people that have swords.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's actually what his sword is called. The 48th law. Of power.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was. It was something else. Guys. I will say I know that. I know it's partially me.

[J.P. McDade]

I know I do feel like most people live the other way and they wish they live like that.

[Zach Amico]

I agree.

[J.P. McDade]

Most people.

[Zach Amico]

I think there's probably a happy medium. I think you have to pick and choose your battles. Once this guy was obviously shady and once you read the Yelp reviews, it's literally every Yelp review is like, this guy. This specific guy is shady as. Didn't want to give information.

[Ryan Shaner]

No mention of sword, though.

[Zach Amico]

No mention. No mention. Well, wait till this episode comes out.

[Ryan Shaner]

I was gonna say, you have to put it in there.

[J.P. McDade]

That's a scalp review.

[Zach Amico]

It was truly something else. So the Legion of Sanks episode that comes out on New Year's Eve is gonna be something else. First of all, we did some really stupid. Some Christmas shit. It was supposed to be a complete Christmas episode and end up just being. You know, it's fun.

[Ryan Shaner]

It was the best play I've ever been. Part.

[Zach Amico]

Sorry, Nobody. Sorry, nobody knows.

[J.P. McDade]

Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Sorry, nobody knows.

[Ryan Shaner]

It was the best pile of I've ever been.

[Zach Amico]

That was pretty crazy. Also, Lev Fer's left the network, Guys.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

I know. Everyone's freaking out.

[Ryan Shaner]

What happened?

[Zach Amico]

I le. So he put. What did he. Shannon, what did he post? Why did he post that he left. Did he post a reason or.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, it was pretty cordial. Is that he didn't want the episodes to be behind the paywall for the first year.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's not true. That's not what he.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's what he put up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he and I. And let me preface this by saying I really do like Lev, and I think Lev is talented. And you guys should go listen to his podcast. You know, I'm not. There's literally no hate. I'm a fan of Lev's comedy. I consider love a friend, but just his. He's a fucking crazy person. He is just his. His version of reality is just fucking insane.

[Ryan Shaner]

And that's the pot calling the kettle Puerto Rico maybe, is what that is.

[Zach Amico]

He does. We do this Legion of Skanks thing, right? And he's one of the characters on it, right? So we're at the sand. He's like. He's like, dude, you really owe me for this. And he's in front of everybody. I was like. I was like, I owe you. I was like, what do you mean? I was like, you owe me. I'm inviting you on the biggest podcast you ever get invited on. What are you talking about? And we had this. It was trying to be funny. We have this like little moment, right? And I just kind of like, I big brothered him. And fucking. You could just tell he was. He gets a little butt hurt. So then he hit me up that night. He's like, yeah, dude, I'm taking the podcast off the network. He was, brother, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I was like, okay. And then he was like, you know, you've only invited me on Legion of Skanks one time in the past year. And then I'm going like, dude, like Shannon, how often do we invite Lev on this show?

[Shannon]

It's. It's often that I gave up because he said he couldn't wake up early enough.

[Zach Amico]

Lev refused. Now I'm not even being a Dick Lewis and Zach show at the time was realized podcast, we get like 50,000 hits an episode, right? It's not a massive show, but it is literally 20 or 30 times bigger than Lev show. He's too good to do this show. He's too good to wake up at 12 o'clock. But then he wants me to invite him on my bigger shows and my bigger platform. It was just kind of a weird thing. I was like, well, I'm not really going out of my way to like look out for you to get you on these shows if you don't really give a fuck about growing your own show. His show is like a very small show that has been stale for a very long time and hasn't really had any growth. We have lost money on that show. Any show that doesn't have at least 30, 40, 50,000 downloads an episode, we lose money on it. That's sort of the breaking point. Depending on the style of show, if we can get ads for it, if they have subscribers, it just depends on who it is. But we've been literally investing in Lev's show for a year and or more. I don't even know what it is, but it's an actual investment. We have resources. People ask, why, why beyond Gas Digital? It's because you have a studio, you have producers, you have people to cut your clips. If you don't do that, you have to pay out of pocket for that. And that's just that. So it just depends. We. We take care of that. There's real value there. And we were losing money on the show. And then he did this shift on the show like a couple months ago where he just. It was by himself. It was very serious. He's talking politics. People are hating it. People are dude, this fucking sucks. He's not listening. Not once did I say, hey, dude, shift it. Do whatever you want to do. If he needed to figure his shit out, he can still figure his shit out on my dime. Literally on my dime. I was like, you know what? Let him fucking figure it out. It's not my place to fucking tell you what to do with your show. But yeah, Very, very What? I. I don't look at. I'm choosing my words carefully because I don't want to trash him because I genuinely think he's funny, I think he's talented, but I think he has an inaccurate self appraisal as to where he's at in the industry, in the business and all that stuff. So Lev's gone and unfortunately, if you guys are, you know, clamoring for the left for a show, you guys can go get it off the network and that's that. So, yeah, let's see, let's see. Runaway Slav says Lewis Corinne Fisher uses your studio for free for Without a Country. Is that true, Shannon? She pays now.

[Shannon]

I'm pretty sure she pays now.

[Zach Amico]

She pays. What are you talking about? People think they know things. They have no clue, bro. You retarded. Let's go to this Twitter post, guys. Shannon, what is this? This is this. I thought it was an interesting post. It says you got to delete one forever. You got to choose one of these. Football, sex, music, women, money, water, or weed.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's easy.

[Zach Amico]

Which one do you choose?

[J.P. McDade]

Weed.

[Ryan Shaner]

The easiest one in the world.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's football.

[Ryan Shaner]

Football, football. You get rid of football, you get.

[Zach Amico]

I said the same thing. You get rid of football.

[Ryan Shaner]

There's hockey. There's still hockey. There's rugby, there's bare knuckle boxing. There's so many other things you can watch that are far more entertaining.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, and. And I am not smoking weed right now. But, you know, once in a blue, maybe you want to fucking smoke a little weed or fucking.

[Ryan Shaner]

You know, I don't even smoke weed, but I'd rather keep weed.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Weed is a better thing for the world than football, right?

[J.P. McDade]

I'd love to know who's picking water.

[Zach Amico]

Water was my second choice.

[J.P. McDade]

There's probably a whole.

[Zach Amico]

Water stinks.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's all prime energy.

[Zach Amico]

Drink water, guys. Water stinks. Let's get real. I've been drinking a ton of water lately. Like just probably about a gallon a day. It is the most miserable experience.

[Ryan Shaner]

I can't even drink the water.

[J.P. McDade]

It is piss fuel, that's for sure.

[Zach Amico]

It's just like, so, like there's no flavor. There's just fucking.

[Ryan Shaner]

Well, they got those things you can put in water now.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but that's crazy.

[J.P. McDade]

But what are you going to sail on? Louis.

[Zach Amico]

That'S actually a great point.

[Ryan Shaner]

That is the best point I've ever heard.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but bring that back up.

[Zach Amico]

If water. If we get rid of water altogether. You're right, dude. I can fucking drive to Italy. How sick would that be, dude?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, first of all, if you give up money, you're also giving up sexual music, women, and weed money.

[J.P. McDade]

But if you delete money from the entire world, remove the concept of money, and bring us to a barter system. What if you accidentally create a utopia? You make the world great for everybody.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's too deep, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, now it's some commie pinko nonsense, some of it. People are just gonna hoard all the good things.

[Zach Amico]

Go back to the list again, Shannon.

[J.P. McDade]

Let's see.

[Zach Amico]

No. If without football for my life, it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Would mean nothing changes.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing changes.

[Ryan Shaner]

Nothing changes.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing changes.

[Ryan Shaner]

Nothing.

[Zach Amico]

I'm trying to think of anything that would possibly change. I think Big J would be happier because the Eagles would constantly be losing. Yeah. Yeah, but they.

[Ryan Shaner]

They are good now.

[Zach Amico]

That's actually even worse because when they were just terrible, at least Jay was like, all right, they're terrible. I can still root for him. That's great. Now that he gets false hope every year, he gets really excited. When's the last time they won the Super Bowl?

[J.P. McDade]

16.

[Ryan Shaner]

20? 16.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's been a little bit. Yeah. Gotta go to the back of the list, Shannon. Keep it up. Sex. No, no, no. Eliminate sex. Delete one forever. From your own life or for. From the world?

[Ryan Shaner]

From the. I think it's for your own life.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I think it's. Just give up one personally.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, it's got. It's gonna be football.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I've already done this. I've given up football and I've given up football and weed.

[Ryan Shaner]

The only thing to suck about giving up football is I would never be able to watch Necessary Roughness ever again. That's, like, the best football movie or.

[Zach Amico]

What are good football movies?

[Ryan Shaner]

The Replacements isn't bad. Any Given Sunday.

[Zach Amico]

Waterboy.

[Ryan Shaner]

Water Boys.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Longest Yard's not bad.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

Longest Yard.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. The blind side.

[Ryan Shaner]

46 and 2.

[Zach Amico]

I never saw the Blind side, but I reference it regularly with racists.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah. Didn't they. Didn't they fleece that guy?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[J.P. McDade]

Yeah, they, like, told him they were adopting him and they just signed up. Signed him into a concern.

[Ryan Shaner]

You Know what they are? They're the cool slave owners, is what they are. They're the coolest slaves.

[J.P. McDade]

Slave owners?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, music. I could probably give up music.

[Ryan Shaner]

You just said you're. You're going to system of a down, dude.

[Zach Amico]

If I'm pressed, could I give that up? Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean, all right, you know, just wake up. I almost brush and put a little makeup.

[Zach Amico]

I almost didn't buy the tickets, so, you know, when I found how expensive they were. It's crazy.

[J.P. McDade]

But what does that mean, though, if you hear any music, the angel of death just comes down and taps you?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Or you can't hear it. Like it just doesn't exist.

[J.P. McDade]

Yeah, it's just pure silence.

[Ryan Shaner]

Then you have no cool intros to TV shows. You don't hear Family Matters theme song.

[Zach Amico]

You see people dancing.

[Ryan Shaner]

They just look like idiots. You can't.

[Zach Amico]

Women. Women would probably be women. And sex would probably be a good thing for my life to give up.

[J.P. McDade]

You eliminate women, but not sex.

[Ryan Shaner]

I'm things. I don't give a.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so, yeah, it's football, dude. Let's talk about this. All right. There's a new murder dogs and Shannon. This one might be my favorite one ever. Shannon, did you watch the video?

[Shannon]

Yes. I hate it.

[Zach Amico]

Can I explain to you? My, my, my visceral reaction.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Was to cackle like a school child. I. It. I. So the setup here is a woman's pit bull gets loose, goes into another neighbor's house and starts attacking their dog. That owner shoots the dog, justified his.

[J.P. McDade]

Own dog because it showed weakness.

[Ryan Shaner]

He pulled a katana.

[J.P. McDade]

I thought you were a champion.

[Zach Amico]

And so fucking. Yeah. He. He kills this dog. And the woman comes over and she's like. She's so upset. And it just. I gotta be honest with you guys. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I was like, oh, good. That's what should have happened. That literally should have happened. This dumb bitch is going, what? Play the video, Shannon. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Discover the year's top audiobooks, podcasts and originals in all your favorite genres, from.

[J.P. McDade]

Memoirs and sci fi to mysteries and thrillers.

[Zach Amico]

Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 heartfelt memoirs like.

[J.P. McDade]

Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's Lovely One. The year's best fiction, like the Women.

[Zach Amico]

By Kristin Hannah and Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com imagine and discover all the year's best waiting for you. The holidays are all about sharing with family. Meals, couches, stories, Grandma's secret pecan pie recipe. And now you can also share a cart. With Instacart family carts, everyone can add what they want to one group cart from wherever they are. So you don't have to go from room to room to find out who wants cranberry sauce or whether you should get mini marshmallows for the yams or collecting votes for sugar cookies versus shortbread. Just share a cart and then share the meals in the moments. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus, enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. Let's get a little volume on that one.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He tried to come in the house.

[Zach Amico]

He came in the house, came after me. I'm sorry. He's harmless.

[Ryan Shaner]

I'm sorry.

[Zach Amico]

He came after me, right?

[Ryan Shaner]

You're right.

[Zach Amico]

No, until he came after with his tail wagging. With his tail wagging.

[Ryan Shaner]

I'm sorry.

[Zach Amico]

He was going home today. I'm definitely afraid of D. I promised he wouldn't be, but I don't know.

[Ryan Shaner]

I'm sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Came after.

[Ryan Shaner]

You're going to in jail for this.

[Zach Amico]

No, he's not.

[Ryan Shaner]

No, he's not. No, he's not. Leash LS are a thing for a reason, you dumb.

[Zach Amico]

Call the ambulance.

[Ryan Shaner]

This woman is the bunch of Ben. That would be so funny.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Call the paw patrol.

[Ryan Shaner]

What did you do here?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The crime dog. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you some questions about today's incident.

[Ryan Shaner]

Gruff goes like, another dog taken down today.

[Zach Amico]

Keep on. Keep on playing.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Like, wow, Scoob, this could have been you.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, the guy is apologizing. I mean, he's being.

[J.P. McDade]

He's pretty levelheaded.

[Zach Amico]

He's talking. He's like, I'm really sorry. Like, this. Your giant pitbull came into my home. Are you out of your mind?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay, this lady looks possessed in the screenshot.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, my God. That looks like the exorcism of Emily Rose.

[J.P. McDade]

That's, like, from the monster.

[Ryan Shaner]

That is pretty terrible. But, yeah, there's. There's nothing worse than when you're walking on the street and somebody has a dog off leash and they come running at you and they're like, they're nice.

[Zach Amico]

They're nice.

[Ryan Shaner]

They're friends.

[Zach Amico]

It's like, dude, you dude, go Ahead, Shannon. I'd like to apologize back.

[Shannon]

Daddy still alive.

[Zach Amico]

There's nothing I can do.

[Ryan Shaner]

He should go out and put another.

[Zach Amico]

Daddy. Oh, you can see her thong, by the way. I'm sorry.

[Ryan Shaner]

I'm sorry. That's a whole G string, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude. You see her whole butt hanging out, dude. Tough, yo. I kind of feel bad for her now, honestly. How is this girl really young?

[Ryan Shaner]

She's really.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, she's definitely projecting, without a.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Doubt, other problems in her life onto. This man shot the dog.

[Shannon]

I don't know where it is, but I also feel like in this, she. I feel like her dad is there. I feel like she keeps.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, her dad. I think her dad was the one holding her back. To not enter this man's house. Who's willing to shoot things that enter.

[J.P. McDade]

His house, doesn't have her own place.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, maybe I wasn't here. I was. Not only that, but I. He tried to come in my house, and I am definitely afraid of dogs. It's like I was afraid for my life. I was. Honestly. I don't care.

[Ryan Shaner]

You don't shoot a dog.

[Zach Amico]

Jesus, Shannon. Do we have any more details on it? Because now it's seeming like the dog wasn't in the house.

[Shannon]

Yes. Also, I want.

[Zach Amico]

Just running by.

[Shannon]

I want to make a comment.

[Zach Amico]

He let it.

[J.P. McDade]

He's playing Oregon Trail with the dog.

[Ryan Shaner]

Was he Lee Harvey?

[Zach Amico]

Here's why. I think if the dog. Here's like, if we dog at a Cadillac. I. I read. I read. I just read the tweets, like, talking about it, and people were like, the dog entered the house and it was attacking another dog after. Because I only watched. I. Here's what happened. I watched this first 40 seconds of this video, and I was cackling so uncontrollably that I stopped and I said, save it for the show. I don't want to ruin this whole video right now. It was. It brought me such joy. But as I'm listening to the whole video and getting more context, it seems like this dog did not enter the house and it was not attacking another dog. If this dog was walking by with its tail wagging, that's a different thing. It's a little bit aggressive. Do we have any information about this, Shannon?

[Shannon]

So I tried to look it up. It seems like this video is from a couple years ago.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no.

[Shannon]

But here's the thing. In watching the full video, you hear that woman? So that, like, I guess this guy's wife, she's. If. If it. If it's in Fact true that this dog attacked their dog. You think that would be the first thing she's complaining about? But she's not, right? She said the dog came up to her door and she's deathly afraid of dogs.

[Zach Amico]

The dog came up to her door.

[Shannon]

Did not attack their dog. She's lying.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, stop taking the dog side blindly. These are dogs. They're fucking.

[Shannon]

Doesn't didn't deserve to be shot and then slowly die on the sidewalk.

[Zach Amico]

You don't know that, Shannon.

[Shannon]

I don't think so.

[Zach Amico]

I was going to quit the show today. This actually. I'm hearing it in Shannon's voice. This is the line. She's like, I'm not giving you this, so fuck you.

[Shannon]

We can go back to it and finish it.

[Zach Amico]

Please, Shannon, please. Oh, my God. Bentley's in our house. Bentley's in their house. Okay. They have a dog, it seems. I mean, at least go out and put one in its head to finish it off.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, you're talking about her, right?

[J.P. McDade]

Are those swinging out from behind her hat?

[Ryan Shaner]

I think they're just really long pigtails.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, dude, they had a bone.

[Zach Amico]

That was a wrench. I thought it was a bones.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hunger bait out.

[Ryan Shaner]

You can't do that. I really thought. I was like, oh, oh, he's got.

[J.P. McDade]

A big box that says acme tnt. A plunger.

[Luis J. Gomez]

A little red dog house with a yellow bird on top.

[Zach Amico]

I'm literally trying to get in the door with my dog. Into a fight with my dog.

[J.P. McDade]

Plot thickens. Can't apologize in this situation.

[Ryan Shaner]

I have no idea what it is.

[Zach Amico]

She's like, I'm still shaking. Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

So now it seems that the dog had just come onto the porch.

[Zach Amico]

It came onto the porch and was trying to get in, but, you know, it's a dude. It's a giant.

[J.P. McDade]

What if he didn't like the dog?

[Ryan Shaner]

You know, it's scary, but, like, it's. Unless a dog is like a clever girl from Jurassic park and start working handles, you just let that dog go.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe.

[Shannon]

I have a question, Louis. So you, as a pre. A prior dog owner whose dog used to get out of the house often, right? How would you feel if sport just ran up to someone's house and they just shot him?

[Zach Amico]

First of all, like, good shot. That's a small dog. Like, God bless. I was like, honestly, he should get marksman of the year award.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, they hunt. They hunt for sport.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's a fast. He's small. He's a Jack Russell if you can fucking shoot him. Honestly. Yeah. You know, I shouldn't know. If he was a vicious dog that could hurt people and other dogs, then I would go, yeah, I should have had my dog on a leash and made sure that it wasn't. You can't have stupid bitches own pit bulls. You can't have weak people or fucking old people's. Like, you need to have a strong fucking white person that's responsible. That's fucking.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I say, plus, we don't know how scary this dog was. Like, I'm sure the media is going to put up pictures of it like.

[Ryan Shaner]

As a graduating and it's gradually not going to show the tattoo on his or anything like that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

With talk about how he had a.

[Zach Amico]

Scholarship, he had a, he had a bag of kibbles.

[Ryan Shaner]

I can show any of the real pictures of that dog.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, there's, there's obviously, you know, it's a little nuanced. But look, if it's your fucking property and a big giant fucking dog is coming on your property. I don't know. I don't know.

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean, I don't, I don't agree. I think if the dog was just on the porch, you just be like, get out of here.

[Zach Amico]

If it's just on the porch and you have a door between you, you don't have to shoot. But I mean they didn't shoot a hole through their screen. So I mean, something happened. He didn't go there.

[Ryan Shaner]

Sure.

[Zach Amico]

There's a missing part of this story and it's. I, I believe they, they felt as if they were in danger. I don't think it was a dog just barking outside of their window.

[Ryan Shaner]

I do appreciate the guy, his answer. The, the, I guess the dad was like, I didn't see. I wasn't here. I didn't see what happened. The guy was like, well, I was, yeah, I was like, that's a great answer. Like, I saw what happened.

[Zach Amico]

No other information about this story, Shannon? Wow.

[Shannon]

No, I just saw the same thing posted over and over again and it's probably like if they don't have a ring camera, maybe it's more than a year ago.

[Zach Amico]

That's a tr. That's a trashy ass neighborhood. You saw the truck out front, that was like, you rich people.

[Ryan Shaner]

She said, you rich people come here, do whatever you want.

[Zach Amico]

Is that what she said?

[Ryan Shaner]

That's what she said. I don't know if they're that rich.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. I mean, I guess they had regular.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Furniture on the board that was not lawn furniture.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's true.

[Zach Amico]

That was inside Furniture573 gas line do you think the guy was justified in shooting this dog? I would love opinions dog People love dogs. It's a very divisive topic in the world of podcast.

[J.P. McDade]

Pit bulls, especially pit bull specifically owners go hard for them.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, I. Most pit bulls that I've interacted with have been sweethearts of dogs, but they're owned by white people who know how to train their dog. You go to the hood, you. The problem is people in the hood, they want a weapon. They want the scariest, meanest looking dog. Period. And the thing about dogs is that aggression is bred. Even if you raise that dog. Right. Right. Even if you raise that dog since it's a puppy, if its parents were aggressive and there was two aggressive dogs that were put together, that dog will be aggressive. That is the way dog genetics work. They're very malleable. Right. You can get dogs with short legs, long legs, big ears, small ears, certain colors. Dog breeding is a very specific thing. And dog DNA. Six foot one, bald dog DNA is a specific. You know, it's a. I believe in terms of like animals some of the most malleable out there. There was a study they did with foxes where they were breeding just aggressive foxes. And then every litter of foxes came out like super aggressive. So you can't say, oh, it's just a good owner. You don't know what the owner of the grandparents of that dog was. And if it's a dog that has the ability to murder a child or another animal, you gotta really.

[J.P. McDade]

That's the thing. Every dog has a day where they're pissed off and they, they lash out. Why have the dog that is like can bite through titanium.

[Ryan Shaner]

We need to make a. A group of pitbulls with square teeth. Square, goofy, big teeth.

[Zach Amico]

Right?

[Ryan Shaner]

We do that.

[J.P. McDade]

Get some breed, some molars.

[Zach Amico]

That's a smart dude.

[Ryan Shaner]

And then it's like when he's like, oh, they're smiling, they're like, look at them. That would be pretty amazing.

[J.P. McDade]

So cares have a caller.

[Zach Amico]

Louis, please. 573-gas line. Do you believe that this was a justified murder of a dog? On this week's Murder Dogs, what's your name? Where are you calling from, my friend? I don't like the way you portray dogs on this show. Shannon, is it not there? Yes, I can hear you now, sir. What's your name? Where you calling from?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Quinton from Oregon.

[Zach Amico]

Quentin from Oregon. What's up, Quentin? What do you think of this? Am I crazy here? No, no, I Love dogs. I'm shooting the too. Hell yeah. I mean like, yeah, I love dogs. I have pitbull hats, pit bulls. Now I have Malinois, which are even crazier. Yeah. And yeah, I'm shooting the too. Goddamn right. There you go.

[J.P. McDade]

Don't you know, I'll just make it mad.

[Zach Amico]

You know, you.

[J.P. McDade]

Jeez.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hey.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, the cops have pepper sprayed my malinois before actually. The cops. What were you doing, dude? Were you, were you this dumb with your dog off leash? Running around terrorizing my ex wife? Was your ex wife? Oh no, it's your ex wife. You're actually that dumb? She is a dumb. Yeah. It's always a woman, dude. Always one. Thank you very much for calling. You just won a. You just won a dog skull. We're giving you a dog skull, sir. Yeah, a full fledged dog skull. That'd be sick, dude. Dude, you know, only one bullet hole. Shannon, can we get me. This is great, great idea. A, a stuffed pit bull head for my home office.

[Ryan Shaner]

Dude, I, I can make you.

[Zach Amico]

No the way. Do you do tech dermy?

[Ryan Shaner]

No, I've, I've made fake dog heads before for stuff.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He wants a stuff.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, you want a real.

[Zach Amico]

I want. If we could find. Yeah, dude, a mounted one. Like a mounted pit bull head like that.

[Ryan Shaner]

That would be sick.

[Zach Amico]

Or like, you know, they do like, sometimes it'll be a bear and then it's the head and it's a throw blanket on the floor. I think they probably do that. That's probably a thing you can get with your dog. You can get a little blanket made out of your dead dog. Snuggle with him forever.

[Ryan Shaner]

I would want like cool taxidermy where it's in the process of doing something that is fine.

[Zach Amico]

You know, like peeing on a, Eating a child.

[Ryan Shaner]

Just like that would be sick.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, can you find a stuffed dog's head for me on the Internet for my studio? Shannon, you don't even like dogs. You're a fucking capper. Do you know what that dog would have done to your little fucking kittens?

[Shannon]

No, but here's the thing. I would have just shut the door. How did they have a chance with the. Why is their door wide open?

[Zach Amico]

Close the door. Why is my door open?

[Ryan Shaner]

It was a nice day.

[Zach Amico]

It was a beautiful day.

[Shannon]

They have a chance. Instead of trying to shut the door to run and grab their gun to shoot the dog.

[Zach Amico]

I, I, I don't believe that this guy woke up going like, yo, it's time to murder some girl's dog. Today I'M dead. I just don't believe it. Doesn't seem like that was the scenario there. So there's a little. There's a mixed missing context here, but I assume the dog was trying to get in the house or was able to get in the house and the guy got his gun and blasted it. And depending on where you're at, these people keep their gun on their fucking head.

[Ryan Shaner]

Straight up.

[Zach Amico]

That's that. Let's see. Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Mando for supporting today's show. We love Mando here at the Lewis and Zach show because we're sticky bastards. And you probably are too if you love this show. Well, you know, you didn't shower today. You probably stink a little bit. You don't have to shower if you have Mando because Mando has whole body deodorant that is clinically proven to last way longer than your regular deodorant. It's baking soda free, aluminum free, cruelty free, dye free, vegan. It's a great, high quality product, safe to put on your body, but not just your armpit, Zach everywhere.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, any of your stinky crevices. And I know quite a few things about this. And I will say, as a man who's been on the road a lot lately, traveling city to city in a passenger van, these the wipes they give you really do a great job. They actually have the Mando starter pack, which is a great stocking stuffer if you're looking for something and it comes with a solid stick. Deodorant cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice like the mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping. And Lou, I think we have a deal for him.

[Zach Amico]

Great deal. Right now if you guys want to save a little bit of cashola this holiday season, use the promo code [e-mail] and yeah, you guys are going to say five bucks on their starter pack. I highly suggest getting the the wipes. You get to choose two. Two gifts. Choose the wipes. The wipes are a life changer. And yeah, just shopmando.com use that promo code LAZ and yeah, go support them. They support us. That's one of the best things you could do for the show. All right, where were we? Oh, we have an update on that Florida guy who shot down the drone. He won't serve jail time. Good. He's ordered to pay $5,000. Won't serve jail time.

[Ryan Shaner]

Now, did he shoot down like the drones that we're all seeing or just a drone?

[Zach Amico]

Just a drone. Yeah, there was a. It was an Amazon delivery drone. And he's just in hillbilly from Texas or not from. From Florida. And it was just like, what's that? And the thing kept on, like, you know, it's a little pole kept on coming down and going back up and he's like looking at it and he goes, gets his pistol and just shoots it. He didn't shoot it down. He just shot it and it fucking hit it and then it flew off. Which hilarious, because if I'm. If I'm in charge of that drone, I'm not flying off at that point. I'm like, oh, this is hilarious. I'm gonna make this guy keep on shooting at me.

[Ryan Shaner]

Did the Amazon driver show up?

[Zach Amico]

Like, it was just my drone. It wasn't doing anything. Omega Jordan in the racist live chat just put a rip Sport mounted dog head, which I loved that, Shannon. That's great right there. I wish I had a mounted sports head. I have his ashes.

[J.P. McDade]

That's what he was hunted for.

[Zach Amico]

If you. When you. Yeah, there he is. That would have been great. Imagine that, dude, he's looking at me.

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean, I've seen people taxidermy animals where they have them on their couch, like laying down. They did that for a while.

[Zach Amico]

No, I remember that. My old landlord, when I was like a little kid, Mary Leone, who lived the tutors down from us, they had like dachshunds and they had their dachshunds taxidermied after they died. And I thought it was really weird.

[J.P. McDade]

You put a little heater inside of it, you plug it in.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. It's always warm.

[Ryan Shaner]

You could make it into a toaster with little pop Tarts. That would be. That would be sick.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

And you put the tail down.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

Come on.

[Zach Amico]

Bad ideas. Yeah, dude, that. So that guy didn't serve any jail time. Five thousand dollar fine I guess isn't that bad. But he sees them. He shouldn't have said. He goes.

[Ryan Shaner]

He was like, $5,000.

[Zach Amico]

He goes, yeah. I didn't know what it was. He was like, I shot at it. But he should have been like, yo, I'm. I fear for my life. I was like, these people. I was like, it looked like a weapon was coming at me. I had no idea what was going on. It was on my property. But he admitted that he just didn't know what it was and was annoyed by it. And he just fucking shot it.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, you got. You got to make up a story that you're scared, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Do you have a gun, Shaner?

[Ryan Shaner]

I have a, I have a pump action shotgun.

[Zach Amico]

Pump action shot.

[Ryan Shaner]

I got it. I bought that during like when the pandemic was going on.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

And there was a bunch of home invasions and I was like, look, I'm not going to go out and start trouble, but if anybody comes in that the house, I'm definitely, that's that killing that person.

[Zach Amico]

Jp, you're like a Brooklyn you don't you, yeah. You're like, no, no gun.

[J.P. McDade]

But no, I don't have a gun the government knows about.

[Zach Amico]

I'm thinking about getting one. I'm thinking I'm getting a handgun. Yeah.

[J.P. McDade]

Shotgun's probably best for home defense.

[Ryan Shaner]

Shotgun. Because that's all I needed. That's. I'm not, I'm not going to walk around with a gun.

[J.P. McDade]

It's not going to shoot through a wall if somebody breaks in. You're not going to accidentally hit somebody.

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean the, the ammunition I have for will definitely go through a. I bought, I bought this stuff called just, it was just called Defender. And the shotgun shells have a, a bearing the size of an acorn in it.

[Zach Amico]

Right.

[Ryan Shaner]

And behind that is buckshot and behind that is three smaller bearings the size of peas.

[Zach Amico]

So it's like a big old slug and buckshot. So if you hit something, you're just.

[Ryan Shaner]

There'S no way you're surviving.

[J.P. McDade]

It's called dog shot. It's pit shot, actually.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude. I, yeah, I would get a handgun for sure.

[Ryan Shaner]

I see.

[Zach Amico]

Cool ass handgun.

[Ryan Shaner]

See that's the, that's. Now would you carry it with you?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Ryan Shaner]

Okay. That's.

[Zach Amico]

No, I would keep it. I, I, there's one of those boxes that are like, they keep on advertising where it's like, like the combination is like you could open it real quick with your fingers. Like there was advertising on like Instagram and Facebook.

[J.P. McDade]

You know, it'd be totally reasonable to have. But no one wants to because they're gay. 22.

[Zach Amico]

A 22.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's a very reasonable.

[J.P. McDade]

Bill Burr had a bit about it. Like it's not gonna up here.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, is that the one with like a little bullets?

[J.P. McDade]

Yeah, they're very accurate. Yeah, but you might not even kill the person.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's the problem is, no, if somebody, if I'm, if I'm pulling a gun out to shoot somebody, I want them to die. I'm never pulling a gun out to be like, all right, let me stop them in their tracks and wait till the police get here. No, no, no, no, that noise.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's why you get a shotgun. You get a shotgun because one like, especially a pump action. Because racking a shotgun is a deterrent in itself. If you came in a house and you heard that, you're like, I don't know if I want to.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but so is spinning it like this.

[Ryan Shaner]

If you're doing jazz hands, that would be.

[Zach Amico]

You don't think that's a deterrent?

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean, I would honestly be like, you don't know what you're doing. I would. I would think that you are the same person.

[J.P. McDade]

You put on the Indiana Jones music.

[Ryan Shaner]

As soon as the intruder comes in.

[Zach Amico]

Like, you're fucked now, dude, if you're. I. Look, the reason I've always said I don't want a gun is because of the track record. The katana situation in Queens. If I had a gun, I mean, I probably would have cooled off by the time I got home to go get my gun. But there's a chance I'd be like, oh, yeah, sore, dude. I'll be right back in two and a half hours. And then drove to a fucking Jersey and drove back.

[J.P. McDade]

You call the guy like, hey, there's traffic, but I'm. I'm coming.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude. So I know. My problem is that this is why I would never carry a gun on me. I would never try to get a concealed carry permit, which I believe is also extremely difficult. I don't think it's easy. Or is in Jersey.

[Ryan Shaner]

Is it expensive in Jersey? I don't. I don't know. I know in Philadelphia, it's not that hard.

[Zach Amico]

How difficult is it to get a concealed carry permit in Jersey? Shannon, what are the parameters for it? Could I even be accepted for it? Or do. Do you.

[J.P. McDade]

What are the parameters?

[Shannon]

Okay, so these are the qualifications. You have to be at least 21 years old.

[Zach Amico]

Got it done.

[Shannon]

You have to be of good character.

[Zach Amico]

Never mind. You gotta read that one.

[Ryan Shaner]

Second in parentheses says no Puerto Ricans.

[J.P. McDade]

I would love to know what the state of New Jersey standard for.

[Zach Amico]

Good.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah. What is that?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's not a piece of. Well, I mean, I've been arrested multiple times. No, like, felonies or anything like that, but it's all weed from back in the day. I haven't been arrested in a very long time.

[J.P. McDade]

Probably fine.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, you should be all right, then.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I mean, like, no felonies.

[Ryan Shaner]

You should be fine.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I even like the. The. Is that all expunged from my record? Didn't Biden like. Like, do something with, like, weed? People.

[J.P. McDade]

Joe, man, he's a good guy.

[Zach Amico]

He's a good guy. I par.

[J.P. McDade]

I pardon him.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. Yeah. Did he pardon a bunch of, like, weed people?

[Ryan Shaner]

He did.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That was it. Yeah. Maybe because people complain. People like, dude, Joe Biden has pardoned 9000 people and every other president did, like, 1500.

[J.P. McDade]

I hope he doesn't let Lev fur walk.

[Zach Amico]

And then you find out that it is he. He, like, gave, like, 7,000 people pardons that had, like, weed charges. It's like, the possession charges or whatever.

[J.P. McDade]

Didn'T trump pardon Lil Wayne maybe.

[Zach Amico]

That's great. I don't really care about any of that. So, Shannon, give me the next parameter.

[Shannon]

Completing training on safe handling and use of handguns.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Shannon]

Passing a qualification course of fire with an 80% or better.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, what?

[Ryan Shaner]

You have to. You have to be accurate. Accurate.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, accurate.

[Ryan Shaner]

80% or better.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Shannon]

Not having an outstanding arrest warrant.

[Zach Amico]

Got it.

[Shannon]

Not having any restraining orders.

[Zach Amico]

Not against me.

[Shannon]

Okay. Not having had voluntary admissions into mental institutions or hospitals.

[J.P. McDade]

Involuntary only.

[Shannon]

You have to be fingerprinted for firearms purposes and then be assigned an SBI number. It just says that it's not hard in New Jersey, but it's a lengthy process.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, so in New York City, it's, like, impossible. Right, but in New Jersey. And if I have a concealed carry permit from Jersey, can I come into New York City with my gun? Shannon, that's my last question.

[Shannon]

No, you cannot.

[Zach Amico]

Damn it.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's gonna say, probably not.

[Zach Amico]

Can I get on an airplane?

[Shannon]

No. No.

[Zach Amico]

Am I allowed to. Am I allowed to kick out the cockpit door and hold it to the pilot's head and say, I'm going to Jamaica. Let's go Jamaica.

[Ryan Shaner]

You don't see any old. You don't ever see any old hijackings, right? Nobody. Nobody goes to Jamaica.

[J.P. McDade]

Everyone's trying to crash.

[Ryan Shaner]

They're trying to crash.

[J.P. McDade]

Nobody wants to learn how to land.

[Ryan Shaner]

Come on.

[Zach Amico]

That is.

[Ryan Shaner]

Do that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So, Shannon, it's actually not that hard to get consistent concealed carry. Yeah, maybe I will.

[Ryan Shaner]

You should take the test, dude. See. See if you got the right stuff, and you find out you're the worst shot in the world.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a bad. I'm a bad driver. I don't think I'm gonna be a good shooter. I. I've shot guns enough times where I'm. A little practice, I can get good.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, maybe a little bit. Maybe.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I do have the shakes, but that's not. It's fine.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's all right, Zach. Have you shot a gun? No. Never in your life?

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I just held one when I was a kid.

[Zach Amico]

Let's go shooting.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I want to.

[Zach Amico]

Let's go shooting in Jersey very soon.

[Ryan Shaner]

It is infectious. It's like shooting a gun is like, whoa. I totally.

[Zach Amico]

It really like, it's very powerful. The first time you hold the gun, you're like, yo, that is like. I used to have a. I used to have a joke about it. I used to say it's like the first time you hold a black cock, you're like, that's heavy. Holy. That's power.

[Ryan Shaner]

I can put in my mouth. Crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

I shot an AR15 once and I was like, I totally understand.

[Zach Amico]

I shot into a PR15 once. 15 year old Puerto Rican girl.

[Ryan Shaner]

We got.

[Zach Amico]

It was okay.

[Ryan Shaner]

And your license is revoked.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Los Angeles in the race Live chat says how girls talk about guns. Okay.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's so cute.

[Zach Amico]

I guess. I guess this how girls talk about guns or is just people that are civilized human beings that haven't been.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I just wasn't raised around.

[Zach Amico]

Raised by hillbillies. Sorry, sorry.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's all shotguns. We didn't have anything cool.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't have a shotgun. Shotguns just too. Here's my problem with a shotgun, dude. I've seen somebody shot in the head with a shotgun a few times. They're not in like real life, but like on video.

[J.P. McDade]

Dick Cheney's a friend.

[Zach Amico]

There was one. There was one where it was like a father and son. They were like in an alleyway and they were arguing with. With some dude. And the guy's like. And they both got shotguns. They're both the fathers under both. And they're like, yo, take a step forward. He's like, I'll take that gun from you and I'll shove it up your ass. And he steps towards him and literally the. The son and the father both shoot him. He goes, blam. And this guy, I mean, his head explodes. Shannon, try to find this video. We're gonna edit this out for the. The YouTube. Obviously.

[Ryan Shaner]

It is crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Have you seen this?

[Ryan Shaner]

I. I know I've seen multiple videos of somebody being shot.

[Zach Amico]

That video is.

[J.P. McDade]

You got four barrels.

[Zach Amico]

That video. We might have watched it back in the day on the show. Do you remember this video?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't think it was.

[Zach Amico]

So I. Maybe I didn't bring it a show because it was so sickening that I was like, yo, that is.

[J.P. McDade]

It was this photo of a guy who shot himself with a shotgun in the head, like on the toilet and it's like the entire room.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. It's so much. Here's my problem. I have adhd. I'm never cleaning up all the blood. The issue is it's going to. Literally, there's gonna be little specks of brain blood, bones somewhere in my house, and I'm gonna see it. I'm like, oh, I want to clean that up. I'm like, I'm gonna get distracted, though. And then here we are a couple years later, and I'm still fucking remembered.

[Ryan Shaner]

To get back to that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, I'm letting you know right now, I'm never gonna clean it well enough. Now. It's a problem for me. Dude. I put a couple holes in this guy. I mean, even if you accidentally miss and you shoot through the wall. Yeah, you. A little plaster. I mean, I'm not doing it, but I'm gonna hire.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Like, every time you watch a movie, you're like, oh, yeah, the ceiling tooth.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Ryan Shaner]

Call it up.

[J.P. McDade]

Task rabbit. Like, hey, I have an interesting job you today.

[Zach Amico]

It's. It is a lot. By the way, can you task rabbit Christmas lights? I'm sure probably I can you. Can you task raps and put your Christmas lights. Because I To try to get Christmas lights attached to your home in like a. In Jersey. It's thousands of dollars to call up a professional service.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's. Why can't you do it?

[Zach Amico]

Because I've tried to do it, and it looks like a crazy person threw lights at my house. I just. Whatever the artist, the artistry that it.

[Ryan Shaner]

Takes to going around the windows, I'm.

[Zach Amico]

Letting you know that it's not that easy. You would think it's that easy. You think it's just. Yes. T can help you get Christmas out to your house. This is next year, dude. This is going to be it, dude.

[Ryan Shaner]

20 per hour.

[Zach Amico]

20 per hour.

[Ryan Shaner]

20 per Hour.

[Zach Amico]

185 hours, $100 later. I have my Christmas.

[Ryan Shaner]

I want to see how this escalates when you get mad at them.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, can you book me a task rabbit for today? Shannon, book me a task rabbit for today to hang Christmas lights. No, for tomorrow and see if they'll come.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna. I don't know your address.

[J.P. McDade]

Put in the chat.

[Zach Amico]

2542 Oak Fell Road, Dumont, New Jersey, 07480. Imagine I just really gave up my home address.

[Ryan Shaner]

Everybody.

[Zach Amico]

What if I did come to my house? I'll buckshot you. I did tell people I don't have a gun. That's a problem. I did edit all that we edit the whole episode.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Can you do the men in black flashy thing to the chapters?

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Shannon. Actually, let's do plugs real quick and then I'm gonna, I'm gonna give you my address so you could task grab it to my house. Let's plug it up. Let's plug it in. We're having a great show here today. So Lewis and Zach show on a Wednesday live. Ryan, Shannon, what are you plugging?

[Ryan Shaner]

You can check me out on the end podcast with Ryan Shane or wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure you call the hotline, 833-443-5300. Thank you very much, Lewis for giving me those plugs.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah. JP McDade. What's blogging my friend JP McDade.

[J.P. McDade]

Comedy on YouTube. McDade baby on Instagram. Check me out. I'll be touring with stuff again on his tour coming up soon. And let me know where to perform. I want to come to your city.

[Zach Amico]

See me live, my little Peter. I'm showing. I'm showing Zach my body right now, which is shredded. Shredded, shredded. Right, Zach?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Zach, what are you plugging?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Going back out on the road with Juggalo championship wrestling this weekend. Thursday night I am in Detroit at Deck the Jaws and then Saturday night we are in Columbus, Ohio for the Insane Clown Posse big baller Christmas party. Come hang out.

[Zach Amico]

Come see me live on the road. My brand new tour, the Bring 5 Friends tour starting in 2025. I have just shows this weekend in Austin, Texas Creek and Cave. Christmas weekend. Short tickets aren't moving. I'm gonna blame the holiday. Come see me on Friday and Saturday. I got Chris from Brooklyn and Kim Kong done on those shows. And then I have the depraved on Sunday banging killer lineup at the depraved Joe List. Duncan Trussell, Ari Maddie, Kim Congdon, myself, there's one or two more on it. It's gonna be a great show, incredible show. Grab those tickets now and then. Yeah. 20, 20, 25 in January, Columbus, Ohio. Just Thursday night, January 9th, Columbus, Ohio. Then I'm at Zany's Rosemont, the 10th and the 11th. Then I'm gonna be at the Royal Theater, Thousand Islands in ghananaqua, Ontario, Canada. I'm gonna be in Montreal. I'm going to be in Ottawa, North Charleston, South Carolina, as well as Naples, Florida at off the hook Comedy Club. I'm excited about all these shows. Gonna be a guy. Goddamn blast, guys. So make sure you guys come out to all those shows. Rumors in Winnipeg coming up in February as well. All these dates are up on my site right now and I'm talking about dates up until the the summer, even the fall. I have dates already booked. So it's a brand new tour and I'm filming a brand new special on July 12th in Tampa, Florida at Side Splitters Tampa. I'm so excited to do this special. It's going to be by far the best one I've ever done. I have tapped the great legendary Robert Kelly to direct my special special. Very excited to put it in his hands. I I love Bobby. He's literally been a mentor to me my entire career. So yeah, check that out. If you guys are going to be in Tampa, get those tickets because those will sell out very quickly. And make sure you guys subscribe to The Newgast digital gas digital.com use that promo code LAZ. Get this show uncensored and ad free. Plus you guys get a bonus episode every Friday just for subscribers. You get access to the Racist live chat and many other member benefits. And I do another solo podcast that's not on Gas Digital. In fact, the only way to get this podcast is by subscribing to my email list. So when you go to louisofskangs.com there'll be a little prompt that comes up. Put your email address in your hometown and your name and you'll get an email right there with the latest newsletter that has access to my Lewis Journal podcast, which is a little bit more of the serious side of me just talking everything about, you know, parenting, mental health, physical health, all that good. And yeah, that, that's that. I try to keep the the comedy podcasts funny and not get too preachy on these shows. Which, by the way, I have I talked about being sober at all, Shannon, since I've stopped drinking and smoking weed. Really? Have I not this week, people. Shut the Blame Shannon. Blame Shannon. What else is going on? What else is going on, Shannon? Let's talk about this. The Charlotte Hornets issue an apology and admit that they took back a PS5 after giving it to a kid on the court. Which, by the way, we were giving away an oculus an Oculus 3S to one lucky subscriber to Gas Digital. Go subscribe and use the promo code laz. If you're subscribed under LAZ or under Rap for however long. Nobody. These are old subscribers, new subscribers. We're giving it away next Friday. Not this Friday, the the Friday after Christmas. We're giving away an Oculus 3S. And to be honest with the Only reason I'm doing it is because I don't know how to return something to Amazon. I tried to buy my son the Oculus 3. I found out the 3S is like a step down with the quality of the cameras, all that other stuff. So I'm gonna buy him the three for Christmas. And now you guys get to reap the benefits of my mistakes.

[J.P. McDade]

Think of the beating off capabilities.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, think of it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, I can't wait, because now I'm gonna take his Oculus 2, and that's gonna be my little beat off portal, because mine's all choppy. I have an old one, like, that's just like, you know, I try to. You can't jerk off to it at this point, so. Damn. Yeah. Just so you know. But, yeah, we're gonna give it away live on the show, so make sure you guys are in the live chat on December 27.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I just love the idea of Lewis and his son in separate rooms beating off, looking like Daft Punk.

[Ryan Shaner]

I hope when you put it on, it becomes like, vice versa. You switch bodies.

[Zach Amico]

Like, oh, my God, Terrence J. And the Racist Life just says returning to Amazon is literally the easiest thing in the world. Okay. Dirk Kreischer says three is the new one you tor. No, I know three is the new one, you idiot. I said the 3s. Do they not listen? Do they not listen to the race Live jet? Terrence J. Says you click three buttons and the return is finished. That's not true. You have to click through buttons and you have to drop it off at a return center type thing. That's a lot of energy. I'm gonna go get my concealed carry license instead. How about that? So, Shannon, what happened with this. This kid?

[Shannon]

Okay, so I have a little bit of a video, but let me get.

[Zach Amico]

A coffee as well.

[Shannon]

It doesn't show the fun part where they actually take the PS5 away, but apparently they were doing some sort of thing that was meant to be a skit in the middle of the game where they were handing out gifts to children. Apparently, they whispered to this kid's uncle before they went onto the court that they were like, we're gonna hand them the toy, but then we're gonna take it back. They whispered this to the uncle right before. So I'm gonna show you them giving the toy, then I'll tell you what happens after.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Sure. My brains.

[Shannon]

I have also been working on my.

[Zach Amico]

Candace Owens, but my jump shot.

[Shannon]

I really love a PlayStation if you have one.

[Zach Amico]

PS.

[Shannon]

A PlayStation 5.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, Hugo.

[Shannon]

Not the one my dad used to play with.

[Zach Amico]

The square rounds. Wow.

[Ryan Shaner]

Come on.

[Shannon]

Happy holidays, friend.

[J.P. McDade]

Ah, yes, the famous skit.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What? So, hold on. And so then he walked away and they took it back. It was just for.

[Shannon]

Just for this. Yeah. So they took it away. And then afterwards, the best friend of this kid's uncle posted the video onto Twitter and was like, can you believe, like, how cheap this team is? They took this toy away from the kid, and then the team ended up reaching out to them. They apologized. They said, like, we. We failed at this, like, bit we were trying to do. And then they. They said they're going to send him a PS5 and then get VIP access.

[Zach Amico]

But I'm trying. I'm trying to understand what was the bit?

[Shannon]

I don't. I don't. I can't really understand it. I guess they were just trying to pretend that they're giving presents to kids. They also said they gave, like, a Christmas jersey, a special Christmas jersey to a kid and then took it away.

[Zach Amico]

This is a great idea, actually. So I'm gonna not give away the Oculus 3s. I'm gonna just. We're gonna give it away on the show, and then we're gonna hang up, like, yeah, sorry. Performance.

[Shannon]

I will tell you, there's also. There is actually an Amazon return place on this block.

[Zach Amico]

Is there? You know what, Shannon? With the amount of. See the amount of people in the chat going, yo, fuck you, Louis, you're a lazy piece of shit, and the fact that it's that easy, maybe I shouldn't give away anything. What is the mentality of these people? I don't fucking understand it. Shannon. Shannon. Should we just return it and not even give it away?

[Shannon]

Oh, now I feel bad because maybe.

[Zach Amico]

No, they're not even appreciative. No, no, no. I'm trying to have a little Christmas spirit. Like, obviously, I could return to. Obviously I could figure it out. But no, I was. I was like, I'd rather give away a 500 piece of equipment to these unappreciative scumbags.

[Ryan Shaner]

Terrible.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Shouldn't the bit have been the other team's mascot gives him the PS5, takes it away.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And then the Hornet comes out as Santa Claus, beats up the other mascot and gives the kid the PS5.

[Ryan Shaner]

Zach, he nailed it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Something like that. That would be a bit.

[Ryan Shaner]

That would be a bit.

[Zach Amico]

That is a great bit.

[Shannon]

And it didn't take it away, like, in front of people. They did it afterwards.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's even crazier.

[Zach Amico]

Well, no, that's not the. I mean, I think they were just trying to like have a promo piece or something. I mean, what is it? The. They're. The bit is that they're giving, but they're not really. It's kind of crazy, but it. You know what? Charlotte Hornets real estudes of the week. It.

[Ryan Shaner]

He's a real ass dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay. If the Hornet did swipe it out of the kid's hands the second they got away and went, you just got stung.

[Ryan Shaner]

That would be sick.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That would be pretty gnarly too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. I don't. Yeah, I don't. I don't know what else to get my son. I need to get him one more like, big gift.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Do you.

[Zach Amico]

He's at the age where it's like, give him money, something.

[Ryan Shaner]

How old is he now?

[Zach Amico]

He's turning 12 in a couple weeks.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, get him a gun.

[J.P. McDade]

You could squeeze in that course.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe I do want to take him shooting, though. Crazy to take a child shooting.

[Ryan Shaner]

No.

[J.P. McDade]

Feel like kids go shooting in the south when they're like six.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, they like learning also. It's like nothing. More than likely. He's never going to need to defend himself with a gun. He's not really being led down that path. But if the ever does hit the fan and you need to use a gun. Like before I ever. I didn't take a lesson. Like, if you go to arrange, they give you like a mini lesson. They're like, if you're shot, you're like, no, they're like, they roll their other mad that they have to spend more time with you. And then they teach you to like, you know, take the safety off and load it and all that other. But it's a quick, like very quickly, they're like, all right, here, go get out of my face and just go play with that.

[Ryan Shaner]

Now take them to a shooting range and then make the targets like dogs. Don't. Don't explain anything about it. It's like, that's just what I. That's what I like to go after.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think. I think you could shoot pretty young.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think that's a good. I wish somebody. I wish I had man skills like that. Yeah, that would have been a nice thing.

[Zach Amico]

And then, I mean, God forbid, like, especially if I have a gun in the house as well. You want to have like, you know. You know, you don't want to fucking.

[Ryan Shaner]

Learn the three do's and the 5,000 don'ts of gun ownership.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you, Karen. You're so wonderful. Thank you. Very much my favorite person here at this point. You know that. You know that. Let's see.

[Shannon]

I think 10 years old in New Jersey.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If. First of all, it's just really fun and cool and you feel power. I mean, if you take a Nerf gun and just shoot it, it rules. Yeah, we do that. We have so many Nerf guns in the house.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's so fun that he shoots directly at your head.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude. Kids don't understand.

[J.P. McDade]

Yeah, you've been training in your own.

[Zach Amico]

Don't understand how much Nerf guns hurt to the face for. They'll shoot an adult right in the face. They don't give a. But, yeah, maybe. Maybe I'll take my son shooting. Maybe get him his own gun for Christmas. Right? That is a fun thing. If I caught him, his mom would kill me.

[Ryan Shaner]

Get him a gun and then get him a hand grenade just to spice it up.

[J.P. McDade]

I know where you could get him a katana. It's not gonna be easy.

[Zach Amico]

Grenade launcher. How about that? All right, let's see. We got a new real ass pet. Shannon Brody, the Picasso dog. Let's see.

[Shannon]

One second. Okay, here's. Here's one picture of him.

[Zach Amico]

Oh. Oh.

[Ryan Shaner]

Looks like he survived getting shot.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Brody.

[J.P. McDade]

Oh, I thought he was mid. Head shake, but he really looks.

[Ryan Shaner]

No, he.

[Zach Amico]

He's all up.

[J.P. McDade]

I thought that was in motion.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he looks like he's traveling into the future.

[Ryan Shaner]

You know what?

[Zach Amico]

He looks like he looked. You remember that guy? That guy, Mr. Swirl, who was a pedophile? Do you remember this story?

[J.P. McDade]

So it's the one trading card I don't have.

[Zach Amico]

So it was a guy. It was a guy years ago who. Yeah, he would go to, like, you know, Thailand and all these places, and he would, like, take pictures of himself, like, with little kids, like, molesting children. He was really. But what he did was he added a. Like, a swirl effect over his face so people couldn't tell who he was. And this is like, before. Like, you know, this is a long time ago. So eventually, the FBI just figured out the technology on how to unswirl his face, and that's how they caught him. They just unswirled him, and they were like, yeah, we got to find this guy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And now anytime there's a spiral anything on any podcast, our fans are like, dude, he's a pedo. He's letting us.

[Zach Amico]

Is that what the swirl thing was?

[Luis J. Gomez]

People were saying, I don't think.

[Zach Amico]

That's why I think this. All right, so Shannon Drew. She tried to Draw the Charlie Brown hair on my head. And she drew just a spiral like that. I think that's a symbol in pedophilia.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think it's from that.

[J.P. McDade]

The Nambla symbol. Like, it goes right. It's kind of triangular shape. What is kind of like the. The panic button on the. In the car.

[Zach Amico]

What? What is the. Is that. What is the.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I thought that was. I. I could be wrong. I thought that was the affiliation.

[Zach Amico]

Is the affiliation? I don't think so. I think it's just a separate thing. What is. What is this the swirl thing mean, Shannon?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, it's the design on the lollipops you give out.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

To get them in your van.

[Shannon]

I don't see affiliation with the spiral and pedophilia. I'm trying to look at symbols for pedophilia.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Somebody was like, yeah, I saw people posting that, but maybe it has something to do with the swirl. But yeah. Anyway, go back to that dog. That dog looks like it.

[J.P. McDade]

Because the guy shot up Comet ping pong, because they had a symbol on the wall that looked like that. And he thought it was like a pedophilia symbol.

[Zach Amico]

There he is. Oh, wait, there's two of them.

[Shannon]

There's two of them. So they got the first one, Brody, and then somebody reached out to her and said that there's. That they had a similar dog who was also injured as a puppy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hey, my dog's retarded, too. You want it?

[Shannon]

So she adopted the other dog, too.

[J.P. McDade]

This dog is half German shepherd, half Dairy Queen Blizzard.

[Zach Amico]

It barks like this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It goes doof, doof, foo, doof, doof, crab, crab.

[Zach Amico]

That is fun. I like the retarded looking dog.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, man, they do look like mutants. In a good way.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, did you also not find the. The guys who shot the guy's head off with the shotguns?

[Shannon]

I did not find that.

[Zach Amico]

Come on.

[Ryan Shaner]

She didn't find it on purpose.

[Zach Amico]

Why are you ruining our look?

[Shannon]

I looked on Twitter and Reddit. I couldn't find it.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so somebody stole somebody's tiny home. Tiny homes aren't real homes. So you can't. Like, Bobby Kelly is like, dude, I own two homes, dude. It's like, you own one home and you own a tiny home. Anybody can own a tiny home.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's minor theft.

[Zach Amico]

Tiny home is fucking.

[J.P. McDade]

It was under five grand.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's not larsing. It's not larsing.

[Zach Amico]

You can buy a tiny home for like 20 grand. It's not like a real home. You can't claim to be a Homeowner. If you have a tiny home, that's crazy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Does it have plumbing?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. I don't really know how. I think they do vary depending on.

[J.P. McDade]

I know someone who built one, and it's actually a huge pain in the ass. Like, you have to really know what you're doing. Like, no contractors and.

[Zach Amico]

Wow, dude, that would be the most mean gift for Zach ever. A tiny home.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Oh, man, that would suck.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Let's see. Shannon, can we hear more about the story?

[Shannon]

So she bought this home in 2022. Here's Karen.

[Zach Amico]

Go get me a breakfast sandwich. I'm getting pretty hungry. Shannon, go ahead. This is the. This piece of shit.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's not a tiny home.

[Shannon]

Let me see if there's more.

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean, it is, but it is.

[Shannon]

This is after. Yes, they stole it. So she bought it in 2022. And then there were some issues with, like, getting it inspected and getting it okay for it actually move in. So they suggested she not move in. So she's been doing lots of back and forth with figuring out how she can actually, like, get it live.

[Zach Amico]

How much smaller is a tiny home than a trailer? Or is it much? Because I have friends who lived in decent trailers growing up.

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean, that looks like the back of, like, a trailer you'd find on, like, a. On a truck.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's an actual piece.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, that's an actual trailer.

[Zach Amico]

So. But it was on wheels.

[Ryan Shaner]

I mean, is that a tiny. Is that.

[Zach Amico]

I guess it hasn't been planted on the ground.

[Shannon]

They couldn't finish it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they couldn't finish the project, so.

[Shannon]

But she. She had it there for the past two years. And then one of her neighbors that lives on a nearby property, they were like, I think your home is gone. And it turns out that people rented a utv. I don't know what a UTV is, but it's some sort of underwater.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[J.P. McDade]

Terrain vehicle.

[Ryan Shaner]

Ultra terrain, maybe.

[Shannon]

And then so they. They use that. And then they stole it. And she doesn't know where the house is now, but she said that UTVs are hard to rent and that she thinks that it's still local, but she hasn't found it yet.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, well, you know, that must suck.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You have to drive around. You see your house. The knock. Excuse me. Is this my house?

[Ryan Shaner]

Sorry. You may have taken my house behind the Volkswagen Beetle.

[J.P. McDade]

Is that my house?

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's see. Only fans. Model Lily Phillips finishes sex with 100 guys in 24 hours and is gearing up for 1000. What a pig.

[Ryan Shaner]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see her. Shannon. She's pretty toy.

[Ryan Shaner]

She kind of looks like that dog.

[Shannon]

And then I also have. I have a little clip of. Because she made like a documentary out of the.

[Zach Amico]

I used to jerk off to like gang bangs back in the day. Cuz I would put myself in it because in my mind I was like, oh, I would definitely do this when I was like 18. 17.

[Ryan Shaner]

What was your order? Did you want to be fifth? Do you want to be like bat and cleanup or something like that?

[Zach Amico]

I would jerk off to. I did one time. I got really.

[J.P. McDade]

Hey, you want to take bullet?

[Zach Amico]

It was one. There was one porn that I jerked off to that was like, guys. It was like. It's like multiple cream pies.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, so you want a whole bakery this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then the next dude would come over and then the chick with the other dude's jizz. And I did complete to that. And then I questioned my sexuality. I was way younger. I was like, am I gay, dude? That I don't want to. A man's coming to a woman.

[J.P. McDade]

I never watched it because it reminded me of that scene in the Lion King where the wildebeest run over Mufasa.

[Zach Amico]

Right? Mufasa. Mufasa coming out.

[J.P. McDade]

She just leaks out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I did jerk off.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Everything that come touches is yours.

[Ryan Shaner]

Can't wait to be creamy.

[Zach Amico]

What are you. What is the. What is the worst thing you've ever jerked off to?

[Ryan Shaner]

What is the worst thing I've ever come to?

[Zach Amico]

I shouldn't say jerk off because we've all jerked off some heinous. Just in. Just out of curiosity, I remember the.

[Ryan Shaner]

One time I was. It was actually call me by surprise. And then I was like, I'm. Well, I'm here. I'm. I have to finish up. I watched a chick get pink socked.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, pink sock. That's a real thing.

[Ryan Shaner]

No, dude. Watching a chick get like, railed and then a guy pulls out too fast and things go from inside out.

[Zach Amico]

I don't like anal gaping at all, dude.

[Ryan Shaner]

It was one of those things you're like, oh, like, you see it.

[Zach Amico]

If you like anal gaping, you're a cereal.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, dude.

[Zach Amico]

That is like. To see inside of a woman's like. Like intestines from the outside of her body. It's crazy.

[Ryan Shaner]

I knew a dude who was only in the prolapse part for a while.

[Zach Amico]

That's.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We call them rosebuds.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, it's Dude. And seeing a chick like, fart come out and then her butthole is going, no inside it's like, yeah, who is that for?

[Luis J. Gomez]

You got to put it back in with a pencil.

[Ryan Shaner]

Seriously.

[Zach Amico]

That's why eraser and I mean, rape porn is something that I've jerked off to a decent amount and I've sought out. Can't even find it anymore. Oh, man. Can't even. They don't even. You can't even use the hidden words like forced. They take it all out.

[Ryan Shaner]

Damn, dude.

[Zach Amico]

So, yeah, but there's, like, a whole site, I think it's just rapeporn.com, i believe, and it's just all rape scenes from mainstream movies and some rape porn, and it's pretty solid.

[Ryan Shaner]

Do they have the American History X1 in there?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, not that one. JP, what's the worst thing you've ever jerked off to?

[J.P. McDade]

It's up. It's called. It's called JP McDade in Brooklyn on YouTube.

[Zach Amico]

Wow. Wow.

[J.P. McDade]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Beautiful.

[J.P. McDade]

Pretty depraved stuff.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Zach, what about you? You're a sick.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't think anything's ever really been that crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Just.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I like Zach.

[Zach Amico]

Zach, just mel to me. Move on for our audio listeners.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, probably just. Just clown.

[Zach Amico]

Clown. That's psychotic, Zach. Yeah, clown is bonkers.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You've never.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Luis J. Gomez]

You never.

[J.P. McDade]

That's her name.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Pornhub. Yeah, that's my favorite one. Yeah, well, you never. You never Google clown. You never search clown on pornhub.

[Ryan Shaner]

Seriously? You never watched clown porn? It's not like. It's not, like, crazy.

[J.P. McDade]

It's like the bang Bus, but they're all in a little car.

[Zach Amico]

No, I've never watched clown porn.

[Ryan Shaner]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

No. Never.

[Ryan Shaner]

You've never. You've never watched parody porn?

[Zach Amico]

You can't even find, like, incest porn anymore. What is going on? Step this puritan horseshit that's going on in the porn industry.

[Ryan Shaner]

So the. The closest.

[Zach Amico]

I want to watch rape. I want to watch incest. Is that crazy? You have to watch Sound Bite that, please.

[Ryan Shaner]

You got to watch the. The one where it's Mormons. That's the incest one.

[Zach Amico]

They. They. More man.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he searched Mormons more men all the time.

[Zach Amico]

You.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's what this chick said.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's why I've been confused the whole time.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's what the. Check 100 dudes. It's more men porn.

[Zach Amico]

More men porn. Yeah. I'm trying to think of anything, like, weird like that, like, out there.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I search cosplay sometimes.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, it's. That's not that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's not weird.

[Zach Amico]

The problem with cosplay is, like, hold on hold on.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So every once in a. This is incriminating. Sometimes, you know. Every once in a blue, you search braces.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, you mean like braces? Braces.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No.

[Ryan Shaner]

Magic. Go.

[Zach Amico]

He's got bad attitudes.

[J.P. McDade]

Sometimes there just aren't enough cops.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The chick gets on top. The chick gets on top, and the braces start coming off.

[Ryan Shaner]

I don't know what love is.

[J.P. McDade]

Come forest.

[Zach Amico]

You can't search teen anymore. That's a thing that's out.

[Ryan Shaner]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

I don't. I don't know if you can.

[Zach Amico]

I was just testing you pedophiles.

[Ryan Shaner]

I don't know if you can.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, because you keep putting t h I r in front of it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. You can't. You can't. No, you can't search. There was something. Something about, like, young. You can't. The word young. Maybe you can't.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Underage.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, Zach, no. You can't search any of those things that.

[Ryan Shaner]

You got to use the term nubile.

[Zach Amico]

New By. That was a great site for a while. New Biles. New B was a great.

[Ryan Shaner]

Did you go to the other one?

[Zach Amico]

The.

[Ryan Shaner]

The mom's like, Analos?

[Zach Amico]

No. No, that's.

[J.P. McDade]

Well, I was searching for new bikes when I found that typo.

[Zach Amico]

The. No, the. Yeah, the porn. Porn has gotten weirdly, like, cleansed. It's also just not like, they don't. All those sites that, like, the streaming sites that, like, you don't pay for, just, like, the UPS and the X videos, they stopped putting out a lot of porn, like, back in the day. You should show up, and there'd be, like, a new section, and there's all brand new, and I would. I always just want to find new that I haven't seen before. And I feel like they're just not producing porn like that anymore, man.

[Ryan Shaner]

Sorry, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I know it is sad.

[Ryan Shaner]

Or you could just watch, you know, the things that get you where you need to be and stop bitching about it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Well, what are you gonna do? All right. Anything else? I think we're just about done here. I think we're just about done here, Shannon, right?

[Shannon]

Yeah. Unless you want to see her recapping right after she finished the 100 men thing.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, sure. Let's see her recapping. I would love to see that.

[Shannon]

So they did a whole documentary. This is just. This is the end of it.

[Ryan Shaner]

When they're recapping, it's not good.

[Zach Amico]

She's pretty hot, though, if I'm honest. It was.

[J.P. McDade]

She's standing.

[Zach Amico]

She said it was hard or hot. I don't know if I'd recommend it.

[Ryan Shaner]

You don't say. I think if you're a different type of girl.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't realize she was British. It's kind of like being a prostitute in a sense of like. It's just a different feeling.

[Ryan Shaner]

I don't know how to explain it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Pause it. It's like being a prostitute because you're fucking for money, you dumb whore.

[Ryan Shaner]

I don't really understand what she didn't think was gonna happen here.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They treat you with much respect that the gang bang.

[Zach Amico]

They don't.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They don't.

[J.P. McDade]

My screenplay that I'm pitching to the studios right now is a rom com set in. She finds the one during this process and it's called Mr. 68 and she has to go find him.

[Ryan Shaner]

She has one that's called Come actually.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Abisani and the race life J says Com Fiesta had a funny top banner with a girl had her mouth open. Com Fiesta was the one site that I. I found a girl that I went to high school on.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh dude. I went to. There was a chick, I went on com fiesa too.

[Zach Amico]

They got. Whatever it is, whatever they were doing with the marketing, they got those girls. This was a straight. Like just a girl that we all knew, nice enough girl. Wasn't like a particularly slutty or like pretty, even hot girl. And she was straight up in two comfiesta pornos. I don't want to say. I don't want to say her comfiesta name. Why? That's because, you know, people will go search it out and find her, find her in real life also. You can't find it anymore. I come Fiesta is like I think defunct at this point.

[Ryan Shaner]

I think they aren't around anymore.

[Shannon]

It's automatically goes to Reality Kings now.

[Zach Amico]

Reality Kings. But that was the. That was the umbrella site, right? Or was it?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, no, I think it was all the umbrella.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, the. So it was like. Cuz that was back in the day.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You would sign up for one and get all the other ones.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you get 8th Street Latinas, comic.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Fiesta, whatever that Brown and Brown Mil Hunter.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Zach knows them all.

[Ryan Shaner]

It was Brown Bunnies as well.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was. Yeah dude, a street.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Brown Bunnies was Easter porn.

[Zach Amico]

There was another one where like it was like a girl. It was almost like eggs were always.

[Luis J. Gomez]

In the same place.

[Zach Amico]

It was a fake. It was a fake game show. And the girl, the girl, the girl who hosted the game show was so hot. And she'd be like, we're here. In a. A coffee shop. The barista's right there. She's really hot. I'm going to try to convince her to suck this guy's dick for $500. She goes, Would you like to suck this guy's dick? And she's like, I don't know. It's just another porn star. It's just bad acting. But that was like a great one. I was like, oh, how great is this? They used to really get me back in the day.

[Ryan Shaner]

Man, you believed it.

[Zach Amico]

I used to be a little porn addict.

[Ryan Shaner]

You don't say.

[Zach Amico]

I was really into porn for a while. Really into beating my dick for a while.

[Ryan Shaner]

And Sunrise, sunset.

[Zach Amico]

This is boring. Now I find my. I feel pathetic while I'm doing it. Now I still jerk off, but it's not the same sort of pleasure zone that I would bring myself to back in the day. I would really try to give myself like a lot of love. Like, I take long sessions. I'd spend a lot of time trying to find the right video. Usually now I start watching porn and then I'm like, this sucks. And then I literally close my computer and I just beat off as fast as I can, just get it out and then move on with my day. There's nothing sexy about the way that I treat myself now.

[Ryan Shaner]

Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

I treat myself like if you're in a relationship for a long time, how the sex just turns into like just mindless. Whatever.

[Ryan Shaner]

You schedule it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There is something hilarious about the idea of Lewis angrily shutting the laptop and jerking off to dead space like an ape.

[Zach Amico]

I'll jerk off or I'll jerk off to like that. Girls like send me like that type of. Or like.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, yeah, I get you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, none. And just whatever it is, it's just not thrilling anymore.

[J.P. McDade]

Sometimes you beat your dick. Sometimes your dick beats you.

[Zach Amico]

Ain't that the truth, my friend. Somebody mentioned a school shooting. Was there a school shooting?

[Ryan Shaner]

There was In Madison, Wisconsin. 15 year old girl.

[Zach Amico]

A girl was a shooter. No.

[Ryan Shaner]

Went in.

[Zach Amico]

No way.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, straight up. Girl you can find.

[Zach Amico]

Can we see her?

[Ryan Shaner]

That's her.

[Zach Amico]

This girl with the dog.

[Ryan Shaner]

She also shot that dog too.

[Zach Amico]

If she would have shot the dog, it would have gotten it out of her system, you know. Wow. She shot. She shot up a school.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

When a girl does it, you're like, something's really up there.

[Shannon]

She also killed herself after.

[Zach Amico]

See, that's what you should do it. That's the way you should do it. This is her shooting?

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[J.P. McDade]

That's the drone. She Took the drone in the distance.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That's wild, dude. How many people did you kill?

[Shannon]

Two people as six other injured.

[Zach Amico]

It was just a straight up school shooting.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Women are just not good at men's sports. Shoot for an hour and a half. Zero. Zero.

[Ryan Shaner]

Nobody takes it seriously anymore.

[Zach Amico]

She went through 3,000 rounds. Yeah. That's wild. Was there. Is there any reason. Does she have, like, a letter or anything like that?

[Luis J. Gomez]

She left them. Her boyfriend had a notebook of hers, right?

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And she quoted a bunch of these, like, extreme feminists, I think, one of whom committed a terrorist attack a couple years ago.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So some feminist shit.

[Ryan Shaner]

Some feminists. There's some racist stuff in there as well. Oh, no, she doesn't like the. The black people.

[Zach Amico]

She dotted the I. A nigger with a heart.

[Luis J. Gomez]

A target.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, all right. You know what I'm gonna do? You know, girl, one of the shack. You know, it's that age, though.

[Ryan Shaner]

You know it's that age.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hey, that's. It's 20. 24. Ladies be doing it for themselves.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Women be shooting.

[Zach Amico]

We're done. You guys are the. Thank you for watching today's Lewis and Zach show. We'll be back on Friday. Actually, I'm not in on Friday. It's going to be a Zach led show with Robbie Goodwin co hosting, which is always a ton of fun. Robbie's been killing it on the show lately. You guys are the. And we love you guys. Thank you for being here. Thank you guys for subscribing. And we'll check you next Monday. Oh, it's gonna be live from Austin next Monday. Special Austin podcast coming to you. So we'll check you back when they making noise.