0026. Ryan Foster and Tubs

Summary

The Luis and Zac Show – Episode 0026: Ryan Foster and Tubs

Host: GaS Digital Network
Release Date: January 9, 2025
Guests: Ryan Foster and Tubs (from Workforce Titans Podcast)

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Episode Overview

In Episode 0026 of The Luis and Zac Show, hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico welcome back two familiar faces: Ryan Foster and Tubs from the Workforce Titans podcast. This episode delves into a mix of personal anecdotes, business insights, and comedic banter, maintaining the show's signature unapologetic and fearless energy.

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Guest Introductions and Background

The episode kicks off with Luis and Zach introducing their guests. Ryan Foster shares his journey from being a recurring guest on Workforce Titans to becoming a successful entrepreneur with multiple businesses in Philadelphia, including Mr. Tubbs Plumbing and Mrs. Tubbs Cleaning.

• Ryan Foster: "You know, my nickname since I was a little kid was Tubby. I've always been a plus-size model." [03:00]

Tubs, Zach’s friend and co-host from Workforce Titans, brings his expertise as a plumbing company owner, adding depth to the discussion on blue-collar businesses.

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Personal Anecdotes and Comedic Stories

The conversation flows organically as guests share humorous and often outrageous stories from their past. Ryan reminisces about his childhood appearance on the Geraldo Show and his sister’s involvement in Desert Storm.

• Ryan Foster: "My sister was in Desert Storm. I wished her Merry Christmas while wearing a yellow polka-dot shirt." [06:34]

Lewi discusses his own experiences with relationships and hooking up with various individuals, highlighting the raw and unfiltered nature of the show.

• Lewis J. Gomez: "I was with a pregnant hooker one time. She specifically advertised that she was pregnant, and I was like, yes, okay." [30:09]

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AI and Business Efficiency

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the impact of Artificial Intelligence (AI) in business operations, particularly for blue-collar industries like plumbing. Luis shares his insights on how AI tools like ChatGPT can streamline various aspects of a business, from customer communication to marketing.

• Lewis J. Gomez: "AI is not coming to take your job. It's going to replace a lot of jobs like copywriters and lawyers, but it's making companies more efficient." [58:22]

Ryan and Zach discuss their limited use of AI, contrasting it with Luis’s extensive integration of AI in his daily operations.

• Ryan Foster: "I've never used AI, but plumbing companies are using it for estimates and scheduling." [59:30]

Luis elaborates on practical applications of AI, such as generating invoices, handling customer inquiries, and creating marketing content, underscoring its role as a tool for enhancing productivity rather than a threat.

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Online Dating and Parenting

The episode takes a personal turn as the hosts and guests discuss their experiences with online dating and the challenges of parenting teenage sons. Ryan shares his strategies for managing his son's exposure to inappropriate content and fostering healthy habits.

• Ryan Foster: "My son's search history is crazy. I told him, 'Tread lightly,' you know what I mean?" [72:20]

Zach humorously recounts his own experiences with dating apps, emphasizing the awkwardness and pitfalls of modern online relationships.

• Zach Amico: "Can you imagine being catfished by an AI program pretending to be an heiress from Game of Thrones?" [82:25]

Lewis connects these discussions to broader societal issues, touching on the influence of technology and the importance of guiding the younger generation through it.

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Comedic Exchanges and Humor

True to the show's essence, the episode is peppered with sharp wit and playful ribbing among the hosts and guests. From debates over the effectiveness of bidets to exaggerated tales of encounters with hookers, the humor remains edgy and unfiltered.

• Lewis J. Gomez: "If my son were on a date, he'd be tearing things apart. He's got good hands from jiu-jitsu." [73:05]

• Zach Amico: "I like boots on the ground." [74:29]

These exchanges not only entertain but also showcase the camaraderie and chemistry between the participants, making the conversation engaging for listeners.

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Discussions on Community and Support

Towards the end of the episode, the conversation shifts to community support and the positive impact of their respective podcasts. Ryan emphasizes the importance of supporting each other within the podcasting community, highlighting how his experiences with Workforce Titans have been transformative.

• Ryan Foster: "Some of the guys we met brought money and turned our lives around." [09:16]

Lewis and Zach take this opportunity to promote their upcoming tours and events, reinforcing the network's expansion and their commitment to delivering unique and engaging content.

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Final Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts and guests share their excitement for future projects and events. Luis outlines his extensive tour schedule, including dates in Columbus, Rosemont, Montreal, and more, encouraging listeners to attend live shows.

• Lewis J. Gomez: "Subscribe to Gas Digital if you love this show. We do a bonus episode every Friday just for subscribers." [47:20]

Zach and Ryan echo Luis’s enthusiasm, inviting listeners to check out their respective podcasts and supporting each other’s endeavors within the digital network.

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Notable Quotes:

• Lewis J. Gomez: "AI is not coming to take your job. It's going to replace a lot of jobs like copywriters and lawyers, but it's making companies more efficient." [58:22]

• Ryan Foster: "My son's search history is crazy. I told him, 'Tread lightly,' you know what I mean?" [72:20]

• Zach Amico: "Imagine being catfished by an AI program pretending to be an heiress from Game of Thrones." [82:25]

• Lewis J. Gomez: "We do a very specific thing, blue-collar dudes talking, bullshitting, and loving it like the guys in the hard hat." [46:17]

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Conclusion

Episode 0026 of The Luis and Zac Show offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions on modern business practices and parenting. With guest appearances from Ryan Foster and Tubs, the show maintains its reputation for being a "comedy revolution," providing listeners with engaging content that’s both entertaining and thought-provoking.

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Next Episode Preview

Stay tuned for the next episode as Luis and Zach continue to explore uncharted topics with their fearless and unapologetic style, promising another wild ride of real talk, chaos, and razor-sharp banter.

Transcript

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is a mini meditation guided by bombus. Repeat after me. I'm comfy. I'm cozy. Cozy. I have zero blisters on my toes. Blisters. And that's cause I wear bombus. The softest socks, underwear and T shirts that give back. One purchased equals one donated. Now go to bombas.com wondery and use code wondery for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B-A-S.com wondery and use code wondery at checkout. Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko, red dot head shot.

[Ryan Foster]

We just knife.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For the Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper.

[Zach Amico]

Lewis and Z back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it came to attack. Spilling crack on the track. Spin straight facts.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, boys, it's your boy, Luc Gomez. Puerto Rican rattlesnake on a Monday. You know how I feel about Mondays. The best day of the week, baby.

[Zach Amico]

So you hated.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I love him.

[Shannon]

He doesn't know that. Mondays that day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no, no. I got a case of the Mondays. It means you're motivated and ready to attack the week.

[Shannon]

He hasn't been able to order a case of Mondays in centuries.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I am the Puerto Rican rhino snake, the king of things artist formerly known as the Howard Seren of MMA radio. And I am coming at you with the great international superstar Zach Amigo. Shannon fixed the green screen. They worked on the lighting this morning. I came in early. Wow.

[Shannon]

Thank you, guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Crushing it. Yeah. Very good job, guys. Great job. We don't have to have a repeat of Friday, the show that shall not be named. I think we threw out 19n words in the first eight minutes of the show.

[Zach Amico]

Was it Naimir?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, he didn't show up. That was one of the reasons.

[Zach Amico]

If he doesn't show up, you gotta let him rip, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Incredible show plan today. Two guests, the return of Ryan Foster, which is great. But also you brought your very good friend and your podcast co host from the Workforce Titans podcast. The great Tubs is on the show for the first time. People are excited. Dude, I posted that you're gonna be on the show. The amount of people. Dude, Tubbs is the man.

[Zach Amico]

He's beloved.

[Shannon]

You know, this really does look like two douchebags took their fat friends on a playdate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Anybody's name Tubbs in the studio, it should be Zach, dude.

[Zach Amico]

He's powerful. He wore his own merch. Here I Love it.

[Ryan Foster]

Let's do it. I'm in uniform every day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah. Dude, where'd you get the name Tubs?

[Ryan Foster]

Dude, my nickname since I was a little kid. Yeah, I mean, every call me Tubby when I was little, I got a little older.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Were you a little chubby when you were a little kid?

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, absolutely. I've always. I've always been a plus size model.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, don't you. Don't you love when they give you a nickname? That just hurts your feelings?

[Ryan Foster]

But that's the thing. You get over that quick. You know what I mean? You know, we. Yeah, we turned it into some things. We got a couple companies in philly. We got Mr. Tubbs plumbing and Mrs. Tubbs cleaning and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mrs. Tubbs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Tubs.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah. No, that's so. It's funny. People get thrown the off. They're like, your wife just calls you Tubs. And I'm like, yeah, dog, what the. She does Tubs and Tits.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Tubs and tits. That could be a great bed and breakfast.

[Zach Amico]

That'd be nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm excited about today's show. It's snowing outside. We're starting on time. Shout out to everyone in the racist live chat right now. Coming at you like Cleopatra. Shout out to Bret Hart, Amy Winehouse, baby daddy, runaway slobs here. All the people that hate me. All the usual suspects.

[Zach Amico]

Beef with Slav.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, love. No, no, I like Slav. They just hate. They trash me and then I. I let them get away with it until I don't.

[Zach Amico]

They. I like when you get fired up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I get a little fired up with the chat sometimes. Shout out to Larry Holder, Drew Huntley, he hate me. Tiffany's here, Austin's there. Michael Drake, Captain Kush is in the motherfucking now. Shannon, we might take Call City. Who knows? Who knows what's gonna happen on today's show? We got a great show planned. It's January 6th and I'm assuming that's what we're up against this day in history, right? Yes. Oh, you didn't get to. We didn't get to do the whole thing. Oh, good. This day. And Shannon, what are we up against today? Okay, in 2021, Columbus told a stupid pun. No, that's good. It's the Capitol. Riots. The Capitol. Don't call them riots. Sh. You.

[Zach Amico]

They were tailgating you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Art you. No, that was just my. How the T sounded coming out of my Brooklyn mouth. Yeah, riots. Riots. No, no, no, it's not. They're not riots. They were bringing black. Bringing Black brim. No blacks. They were bringing back glory to this country. Shannon. I, by the way, on last week's episode, I decided that I'm a trump grifter now. So. All about. All about the T, man.

[Zach Amico]

There's money in that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's go.

[Zach Amico]

But, you know, how do you feel about Elon? You an Elon guy?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Love Elon. Love everything he does. Love him. I. I think Elon's a fag. I think Trump's a fag. They're all fags. They're all fags. They're all fags. Let's get real, Elon. You're not American, you fucking African.

[Zach Amico]

That's my thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Beat it.

[Ryan Foster]

You.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When you saw him, he said, we talked about Canada. You're not a we, motherfucker. You're an African. You're literally on the lowest continent. By the way. Chat cbt. They will not, and I mean they will not admit that Africans have, on average, lower IQs in the rest of the world. It took me.

[Zach Amico]

I'm talking about dicks and higher.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A good 20 to 25 prompts before they finally were like, all right, fine. If you really must know, you bullied.

[Zach Amico]

Chat GPT to me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I kept on being like, no, no, no. Chat tv. You know what the I'm saying, dude? Like, if you had to say on average. And it's like, well, based off of environment and blah, blah, blah, blah. No, I want the numbers. I want to know skull circumference and how it relates to their iq. I can see and I. We got there. Same thing with pit bulls. They finally admitted that pit bulls are more dangerous than other dogs. But. But you got to go about it in a lot of different ways.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, I don't think it is either.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, me neither.

[Zach Amico]

How do you feel about that, Tubs?

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah. The lesbian world's been holding it down for pimples for a long time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, that's a problem.

[Ryan Foster]

Women.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Women shouldn't be able to. They can't handle.

[Zach Amico]

They don't have the upper body strain for it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They don't. Some lesbians do. Some lesbians do. So, Tubs, talk to me. You said you'd never been to New York City before. This is your first time in New York.

[Zach Amico]

To your first time you were here.

[Ryan Foster]

Going to Boston and Cape Cod a couple times for a wedding anniversary. I drove across that bridge. And I always felt like a ninja turtle driving across that bridge. Like, that bridge is disgusting. George Washington Bridge.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

GW Bridge. So besides one of the world's most.

[Ryan Foster]

Famous bridges, besides driving across that. When I was five, I was on Geraldo show. My sister was in like the, the first Saddam Hussein war and I wished her merry Christmas. I had like no fronts, yellow polka dot shirt.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your sister was in?

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, she was on Desert Storm. Desert Storm, Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I had a great super Nintendo game. It was, it was Desert Storm, the game. I swear to God, I don't think there was. I think that's what it was actually called, if I'm not mistaken.

[Zach Amico]

They were not creative.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. They're like, no, no. It's a real tragedy. People are murdering.

[Shannon]

This is a tubs. And I played Desser.

[Ryan Foster]

But yeah, we went to some shitty bar up the street. I got a little the East Village feel. I'm excited to go with the cats, dude. Get some. You know, I'm part of the tribe, dude. I'm a Jew. So I'm excited about the pastrami.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I got no beef with the Jews, by the way. Yeah, listen, I got a little pastrami with them.

[Ryan Foster]

They only run the world, you know what I mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's the year of silly. On the show. We're getting silly all. But you're, you're.

[Zach Amico]

This is silliness year.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a silly year.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm into being silly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Keeping it silly, keeping it fun. So you went to the Geraldo Rivera show.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, we went five. I was five. My sister was dressed like Madonna. Me and my sister wish my other sister a merry Christmas. And I had no fronts in the front, like. No, you know what I mean? Embarrassed by the camera. But that was, that's my one memory in New York and I just remember being annoying to everybody I was with because I was a five year old.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You were a five year old kid in New York? Seems so.

[Zach Amico]

We hit the Holland Tunnel. He was kicking his feet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So highlight for the face.

[Ryan Foster]

I tried, I tried getting my, my wife to come up yesterday, but she.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Could spend a night in the city.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I got some crippled parents. You got to take them to the hospital and like that or.

[Zach Amico]

He was going to be the first guest. Digital guest. He, he was looking at Rolexes. He was gonna go Rolex shopping on his way up here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

So I've been looking at the diamond district. I got a guy in Philly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're trying to get a Rolex?

[Ryan Foster]

I. Yeah, he's got one. I got one. I'm trying to get.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I, I was trying to get a Rolex for a minute and then I realized that I was just being a dumb spic and I was like, all I'm trying to do is show everyone that I got a Rolex. I don't actually even think Rolexes are that nice.

[Ryan Foster]

So I can't help but to be a Jew dude. Like, the more money I make, the more gold I buy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Just.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah. I'm drenched in it. I go down to Florida every once in a while, and I'm just a plump. I didn't wear none of my jewelry because I didn't know. I didn't know how New York was, but I got a gold plunger, I got pinky rings. I got all kinds of ghetto. Dude, they should have never gave me money. They should have never gave me money.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your businesses are thriving.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, Thriving. And that's. I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Which is a good. That's a good place to be in. When you start in. In the world of podcasting, you're already making money. You don't. You're just trying to be funny for being funny, which is great. A lot of these guys are. They're trying to monetize. We all do this too. We. Our YouTube channel. We're cutting out the N words, cutting out the F words, all that so we can stay monetized, make a little bit of cashola. You don't give a. Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

So. And that's. I think that that's where we met.

[Zach Amico]

You know, we met through Tim.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

So my story coming up, this podcast bullshit was me and Tim Bartoli went to high school together. So Tim's my boy from way back in the day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell, yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

So when Tim and Mike started dad Meat, they were like a couple episodes in, and they were like, listen, who's our friends that are total pieces of shit? But still. But still successful. Right? So I'm like the third, fourth guest on their podcast. And then that was like, you know, late 2019. I rocked with them every six months. I'm like a recurring guest. And then Brad, like, became cool people reaching out, like, hey, you know, you kind of turned my life around, in a sense. And I was gonna start a construction.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're giving inspiration to dirt bags, which I love. Yeah, I love that.

[Ryan Foster]

You know, and my. I'm a low life myself. You know, I'm city boy, parents met in rehab. Like, grew up, you know, some rough Christmases, some empty Christmas trees. You're supposed to get in a relationship.

[Zach Amico]

Jewish. And he's like, it's a bad Christmas, Cubs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did Santa Claus skip over your Jew house a time? Just took a down your chimney, You Jesus killer.

[Zach Amico]

But that's.

[Ryan Foster]

Easter's the best because we got him, baby. You know what I mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There we go. So very. Tubs, I'm happy to have you on the show. You know, New York is a fun time. People hate on New York, but New York is great to visit. Yeah. Now I get. I come to New York a few times a week. I'm back into sort of like, oh, New York's kind of the.

[Zach Amico]

You're a Jersey guy now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm a. I love being a Jersey guy.

[Zach Amico]

Jersey's nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's happening? Whose phone is.

[Ryan Foster]

That's my bad business.

[Zach Amico]

Put on an airplane. Dog ringer off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's going on with you, bro?

[Zach Amico]

That was him that time. Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

So the girl in the office, she knows I'm coming here. That called out this morning. What the. You know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, no. Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

So on the way here, I had to be a secretary and like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it's all good. No, it's all good. We got. We got another. We got a little bit of time here. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the Lewis and Zach show. By the way, we're Shannon. We're picking things up here on the Lewis and Zachary. You've been doing a great job for a long time, Shannon, but I feel like I have to. To tag team the show with you and. And help you a little bit with the guest booking. Help you a little bit with everything, because I, you know, I get. I. I expect. Shannon's a woman. I. Yeah, she is a woman, and.

[Zach Amico]

I hate that I can't see her anymore.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's okay, Shannon. Put the Shannon cam on.

[Zach Amico]

There we go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, blame Shannon. Blame Shannon. So.

[Zach Amico]

Shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, Shannon's a woman. You can only expect so much of a woman, and if you expect more of a woman, isn't that kind of on you?

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, I guess so. She was totally sweet to me. I appreciate it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon probably wants to suck yourself, but she.

[Ryan Foster]

She said, like, oh, you got, like, a favorite picture? I'm like. I'm like, I don't have a favorite picture.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't have a. No headshot.

[Zach Amico]

So I was gonna hit this picture.

[Ryan Foster]

Next to the bricks with his gay headshot. I guess I gotta get one, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Nothing's worse than headshots, dude.

[Ryan Foster]

I always thought I. I just. I come from the construction world, where, like, this is so gay. Like, yeah, I always saw, like, podcast comedians, comedians. And then when I started really getting into it, it's like, dude, I got this, like, newfound respect for comedians because it really is a fucking grind like you guys. And when he tells me, oh, you do Stand up. You'll do stand up. It's like he's gonna, I don't, I don't have Tuesday to Friday to go fuck around in some shitty bar.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

And try to become a stand up comedian. Like, the grind you guys put in, like the amount of work that it takes and shit like that, it's not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Even just the grind is a hard way to put it. Depends on what you're doing. Like, I'm a fucking hustler. I work my ass off. I'm non stop seven days a week. Some guys just show up, they write some jokes, they do a podcast, whatever. It's a little different. You know, I, I, I, I have a lot of things going on behind the scenes as well, but it's really the blind faith that you have to have.

[Zach Amico]

You have to be so delusional.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you have to, you, you have to say, hey, I'm gonna do this for a decade without knowing if it's gonna ever amount to anything, which is different. Like, if you start a construction business, you start a plumbing company, you can say by end of year one, either I'm profitable or not. You can make shifts. You could. There's no profitability in being a comedian.

[Zach Amico]

But it's also, I don't know, I feel like the most successful comedians is the same thing with construction. It's your personality. Right. Like, there's not that many comedians I've met that are like actual headliners. And I'm like, you stink. You know what I mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, but some do. There's a lot of Canadians. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But they're always the guys who have no friends, you know, like the headliner guys who have like actual. No, they have no other comedian friends here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, the podcast, Podcasting has shifted things because you get to see people who, and for who they really are.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what I'm saying? Comedy, stand up is like this very specific thing and it's honed. It's almost like social media of performance. Right. Like, you're like, this is my act. This is what I want to say. This is what I'm trying to get to. But it's kind of like smoke and mirrors. Then you have some of these guys that are great at stand up. They go on a podcast, you're like, oh, they're dollards. They have no personality. They can't, you know, have a conversation.

[Zach Amico]

Or guys who fake their, they like, amp up their disability, you know. Oh, yeah, I had to yell at somebody last night that for like, you know, the guys who were like, what.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If it's a real retarded person? You're wrong.

[Zach Amico]

My sister's retarded. I mean, to her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is she actually retarded?

[Zach Amico]

Autistic. So close enough.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How much on the spectrum is she? Because girls, you can't tell girls. You're just like, oh, she's a.

[Ryan Foster]

She's on it.

[Shannon]

Would you be in trouble for. Well, excuse me. Would we be in trouble for her?

[Ryan Foster]

You would definitely be in trouble.

[Zach Amico]

Would you be in trouble?

[Shannon]

I mean, if you would be frowned upon.

[Zach Amico]

I would. I would tip my cap to you if you could talk her into. Because my sister's like, she's disgusted with everybody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because you're a handsome guy. I bet your sister's pretty toy.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, she's fat, dude. Fat as hell.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Problem with these autistic, they.

[Zach Amico]

Well, dude, she loves soda. Soda nuggets. She's about 250 right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And she's 411.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So can we call our tubs?

[Zach Amico]

I would put a curtain on her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay. Do you mind if we borrow your name for his sister?

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, Right out. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now, my ex girlfriend was, like, mildly autistic, and she just seemed like a. That's what it was.

[Zach Amico]

The most recent one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she's the dancer lady. Yeah. Well, she would say she's. Okay. Maybe she was just using a thing that's tick tock.

[Shannon]

This.

[Zach Amico]

No hot girls have gone on to Instagram and they get, like, psychoanalyzed by girls with like. They're like, I have bpd. I'm like, no, you don't. You're just.

[Shannon]

Every girl on the Internet has adhd, Autism, or bipolar.

[Zach Amico]

Well, people say. People act like ADD is like a cancer diagnosis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now. Don't be an what? I got. I got, I got. So do I. I have what I would only consider as Terminal ADHD. Okay. Stage 4 ADHD. I am like, it's. I'm as. You're so busy as ADHD as it comes. Some. I was talking to Some and she was like, adhd is not real. She's like, you've been indoctrinated. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry.

[Zach Amico]

You're talking to my wife.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you say that? My son's mother used to say that to me. She said I was just, like, messy. I was like, it's not messy. Like, I leave every cabinet open, every drawer open. In my house, if I take out stuff to make stuff, like, it's all just like all over the place. Within a day, my house turns into just pure fucking chaos.

[Zach Amico]

Do you like Congratulate yourself for doing like normal people. Yesterday I made like now that I have a baby, I'm like, I gotta be breakfast dad. I gotta hold down some meal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You gotta. You make breakfast for the baby?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like for the family. I'm like, we're making home fries doing all this. And then when we got done, I was like, look, there's no mess Zach makes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach makes homo fries.

[Zach Amico]

God dammit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just comes on them.

[Zach Amico]

You came on the fries. Have you ever eaten your own comes back never.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Never stop being.

[Shannon]

Never even tasted shut tubbs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How many times have you eaten your own comp to let be a proper fat friend for once?

[Ryan Foster]

At least a dozen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

At least a couple times. What did you like with your finger?

[Ryan Foster]

All by accident?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First time. First time I ate my own.

[Shannon]

And by the way, I on the fries then come on them. It's my version of poutine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh yeah, said poo teen. I love it. God damn it. No, the first time I ate my own comment was a straight up to see what it was like.

[Zach Amico]

Like an Italian grandma making the sauce.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, check it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Every other time that I've eaten, my comments been me moaning too much and coming in my own mouth while I'm jerking off.

[Zach Amico]

God damn it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You've never done that. You never shot. You never shot a rope and it just popped into your mouth.

[Zach Amico]

I'mma come on.

[Shannon]

Balloon over your head inflates and you win a prize.

[Ryan Foster]

I don't want to be standing.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I'm a stand comer too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're a stand.

[Zach Amico]

Even when I jerk off, I have to see distance. Stop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When you jerk off, you stand up.

[Zach Amico]

When I'm about to come, you get up from your wherever, toilet, couch, whatever.

[Ryan Foster]

If you're catching it, it's gonna get on you. I'm not catching nothing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't want any come on your tummy and your chest.

[Zach Amico]

I've never come on my body ever. Once I swear. I just stand up, shoot and then pick up whatever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where do you shoot it onto? Don't. Does that make more of a mess on the floor?

[Ryan Foster]

And even like as a kid, like I feel like I used to just always bust and pull my up and go on, you know, that's the problem.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've come on my floor before. Sorry, I don't mean to be a poet right now. I've come on my floor before. But the problem is when you have hardwood floors and like a at the door. I've said it before. You'll never get it out of the like in between. Like you'll always like, be like, oh, there's come right there.

[Ryan Foster]

You need like an air gun. You got to get it while it's wet. Nah, it'll be down.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it'll, it'll. You'll push it. You'll mush it even more into the wood.

[Ryan Foster]

Tongue and groove, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Also like. Yeah, the wood is, the wood is porous. It's gonna pull the come into the wood. None of that's a good idea. Dude, you need to.

[Zach Amico]

No, I'm not gonna change now. 36.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's a time when. Because I'm losing weight right now. And you're still sober. Oh, yeah, still.

[Zach Amico]

Your ADD is worse now, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, it's better.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's better.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's way better.

[Zach Amico]

I was trying to tell myself once.

[Shannon]

Down the whole time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I'm feeling nice. I feel, I feel like you're not.

[Zach Amico]

Smoking at all either.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not smoking, not drinking, nothing. Yeah. But when I come now, what I do is now that I'm losing weight, I have just a bunch of shirts that are too big for me. So now what I'll do is I'll wear the shirt and then I just come under the shirt. Then I, I literally, I take it off. Try not to let the front of it touch my face as I take it off. Then I roll it up, donate it.

[Zach Amico]

To a homeless guy. Have that. Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude. So question.

[Shannon]

Why don't you just take it off from the back first?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Take it off from the back like.

[Shannon]

This way so it doesn't touch your face.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I pull the shirt out.

[Shannon]

Oh, okay.

[Ryan Foster]

It makes like a basket.

[Shannon]

You can fold it over one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And the problem is if I get.

[Zach Amico]

Too sloppy, it'll just right upsetting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Which is. Look, it's your come, dude. We do. We, we act like it's poison. It's fine. It's your jizz as long as it's your jizz. But bro, I'm not saying eat somebody else's jizz. It's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Jiz.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're crazy.

[Zach Amico]

So we were just talking about Chris this morning. I. I did an edible and I my lady in the kitchen and when we were done, she was like, come in the sink. So I'd like get on my tippy toes and come down the drain. It was like the most efficient I would do. Why am I not doing this all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The time when I would jerk off when I jerk off in airplane bathrooms, which I've been known to do.

[Zach Amico]

You're an airplane jerk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

More than a three hour flight. I'M gonna get. I'm gonna get a little bit horny at one point.

[Zach Amico]

Airplanes get you horny?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Airplanes.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's a lack of oxygen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it's the. It's like the rumbling of the plane. It feels like I'm in a womb, and that kind of turns me on. That's a Puerto Rican to me. I'm like, dude, wombs are hot as the word womb is sexy.

[Zach Amico]

The gay stewardess, you know, the stewardesses have got.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're getting hot again.

[Ryan Foster]

They're getting hot again.

[Zach Amico]

They got Trump back in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're. Whatever it is, dude. They're hot again. Every fight I'm on now, there's one little sexy stewardess, and I. And I'm like, I'm old school. I'll give them a toots. So we'll give them a win.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a big toots guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So I. Yeah, I jerk off in the bathroom, and what I do is I spread my legs and I come into the toilet.

[Zach Amico]

Downward dog.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When I. When I. When I just respect, like, right into the toilet, and they just. Very aggressive.

[Zach Amico]

I wish home toilets did that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Had that aggressive of a flush, dude.

[Ryan Foster]

That's. So I got the. You get a beautiful $800 toilet seat. The bidet seat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, you're. You're a plumber, dog. Your toilet situation's got to be ridiculous.

[Ryan Foster]

And it don't come out of my pocket, baby. You know?

[Zach Amico]

So, like, you beat off on the toilet, moving around.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, you beat off on the toilet. You let one rip, then you blast your butthole. You get a little more out, dude. You know what I mean? And my wife will make fun of me because she'll be laying in bed, and we got no door in the bed on the bathroom. It's just, you know, right through from the bedroom of the bathroom, and I'm just sitting there blowing my butthole apart, like, you know what I mean? I'll try to get that little bit out.

[Zach Amico]

I still can't get my girl to use the bidet.

[Ryan Foster]

It's life changing, bro. It really is.

[Shannon]

I have to be 100% honest with you. I thought you were talking about jerking off on the toilet and that you would come harder with the water.

[Ryan Foster]

Well, so I've never busted.

[Zach Amico]

While it was.

[Shannon]

When you said there's more in you, I thought, like, I really was like.

[Zach Amico]

You'Re saying, like, I'm not done.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Not only did I believe you, I was looking at the clock for when the show would be over.

[Ryan Foster]

Yo, it's life Changing, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, bidet is incredible. We have bidets here at the studio. And, yeah, your asshole feels incredible. But you're right, dude. When you think you're done pooping some, I. To be honest with you, I'm almost never done pooping.

[Zach Amico]

Never.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, I essentially, eventually I just go, all right, I'm done for now. And then I just squeeze my ass all tight. But if I stick a piece of toilet paper up there further, or a wet nap up further, there's always a lot I'm just touching. You know what I'm saying? So you're right. If you bidet it, it just kind of opens the up. It's like a. Like a cervix.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So the only thing, the only way.

[Zach Amico]

That probably is how works.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you know how the cervix is. It's like a butthole inside of her.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I have no idea.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, show me a cervix. Shannon, put the sexy music on and show us.

[Shannon]

Shannon, thank you for your cervix. Cervix with a smile.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So what happens is the cervix. Eventually when you. When the water breaks, the cervix pops open. The water comes at the. The. The amniotic fluid. Should I not. Don't be an. No, show me an internal real cervix.

[Zach Amico]

I want a dead hooker's cervix, please.

[Shannon]

Like, in a jar, Wherever.

[Zach Amico]

Wherever they find it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. A cervix is a hole. There's. It's almost like. That's like. You can't. You can't touch. That's like a Funyun, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Don't get me started on funny.

[Ryan Foster]

I'm excited about this because I have no idea how works. Dude, I just been Shannon with a dick in it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a giant dick facing me.

[Shannon]

Usually they get up around 5am and.

[Ryan Foster]

Then fix people's pipes for 12 hours.

[Shannon]

And they do a podcast.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, I got no clue how it works, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, the cervix, what happens is when you. It's like all the holes inside of a. Right up here is the ambiotic sack, maybe.

[Zach Amico]

Sure sounds right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Then what happens when you. When she starts to give birth, when the water breaks, what happens is the cervix is opened a little bit, that fluid comes out of it, right? And then the baby's head starts creating pressure on the cervix and starts to fucking open that shit up. So that's what's going on with the baby inside of there. Doggy, my fucking lip.

[Zach Amico]

That's how Horny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My lip tart.

[Zach Amico]

X. That's how horny Puerto Ricans are.

[Shannon]

So you're saying a woman giving birth is like diarrhea and then a solid log.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, that's literally.

[Zach Amico]

The water's the blast.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And then log, I go the other way. Usually there's a solid plug, and then whatever's behind it is the mask.

[Zach Amico]

That's your style.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So, yeah. What happens is it's buckshot to the slug. Yeah. When they say it's your dilation, what they're talking about is the circumference of the cervix. So if it's 2cm dilated, it's like that. You know, I'm saying. So that's what's going on with the whole thing. My son's mother made me watch all these videos, and I had to read the Business of Baby and all these dumb things like when you guys are Philly scumbags, they give me the book.

[Zach Amico]

It went right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys weren't even there for the birth. You guys were out drinking.

[Ryan Foster]

I. I had it. I had a kid born in the bag, bro. Like, in the water never broke. Like, the bubble came out the kid's head. My son's head went into the bubble. They peeled it off. Then the water broke. It was crazy. My wife pulled my son out with her bare hands. Brush. Yo, the doctor was like this Jewish doctor in, like, pajama pants, and he's like, go ahead, Ma, pull that baby out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And he had to pull it out herself. Yo.

[Ryan Foster]

She reached out, Spongebob, and pulled the. Pulled big doll. 13 years old now, pulled him out with her hands. It was. It was crazy. And it would have never broken. They say like princes and kings and are born that way. In the bag, the water never breaks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My son's. My son's water never broke either.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, I'm just saying that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I was like, mine either, dude. Yeah. My son's a kid. No, her water didn't break.

[Zach Amico]

My son was double bagged.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She was. She was induced into labor, which is, like, also kind of up now. You know, we were talking about that recently. We wouldn't have done that again.

[Zach Amico]

Your kid was born through the bus.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Through the puss.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Now, C section.

[Ryan Foster]

Is your baby's mom Puerto Rican or no?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, she's white.

[Ryan Foster]

Exactly. Because Puerto Ricans kids out while they're walking. It's incredible. My whole family's Puerto Rican. I'm, like, born and raised in, like, north.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is your girl Puerto Rican?

[Ryan Foster]

No, my wife is a Kenzo. She's a Polo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's from the neighborhood.

[Ryan Foster]

But I. My nieces and nephews, Lopez's, Diaz's, Ramos's, Baezes, all that. I got three older sisters, Tubbs family pictures. Yeah, it gets darker on the way down, so we have a chat. The white uncle chat. And it's a picture of.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is there a problem with the exposure of this photo? Why does everyone look like they're covered in crazy?

[Ryan Foster]

I got the Crayola, like, grading my nieces and nephews. Got my nugget.

[Shannon]

Did somebody slowly dip this photo in coffee?

[Ryan Foster]

They got the Nike Monarch.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is my family sepia toned, but yeah, my dude.

[Ryan Foster]

I got a lot of Puerto Ricans in my family. Been to a lot of Puerto Rican baby showers. And man, they kids out walking, boy, it's no problem. A lot of Heineken too.

[Zach Amico]

They love Heineken. Black guys love Heineken too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that was my. That was my former. That was my bureau of choice back in the day.

[Ryan Foster]

Makes sense.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Back in the day. Yeah. Can we get a coffee? Shannon, another coffee.

[Zach Amico]

I have a coffee, too, please.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank you, Kratom.com for supporting today's show. I love your Kratom. I love the owners. I love the fact that they support everything we do. You should support them. If you guys are using Kratom, we're not saying get a Kratom habit. We're not saying start using Kratom. We're saying, if you already use Kratom, why not get it for a discount? Why not make sure that it's lab tested? Why not make sure that it's high quality? Yocratum.com has you covered.

[Shannon]

That's right. Stop going to bodega's smoke shops and gas stations and getting a little bit of Kratom at a time. And you don't really know what's in there when you go to our [e-mail] because they have the best strains, the best customer service. And like Lewis said, they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at the network. There's no promo code needed. It's already the best deal in the world of Kratos.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

60 bucks for a kilo. Just gotta go to YourCratum.com. they'll take care of you. All right. Where were we? Yeah, but. Yeah, so. And then also, when you. When your chick's pregnant, when you're trying to. When she. When she wakes, when she breaks her. When her water breaks, what you're supposed to do Is you're supposed to come in her. I swear to God. You're supposed to bang her and come. Or maybe not. Maybe when you're trying to get. Maybe you're trying to get the water right.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they were, like, trying to induce. You're supposed to her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your jizz softens. The cervix sucks.

[Zach Amico]

Imagine being a kid in a bag and your dad's just on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jason, I. I've been with a few pregnant chicks.

[Zach Amico]

The best that I ever got in my life. Pregnant lady.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was with a prayer. I've never talked about this. I was with a pregnant hooker one time. She specifically advertised that she was pregnant, and I was like, yes, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he said I was with a pregnant hooker.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was my girl that I paid to have sex with her. That was pretty sick.

[Ryan Foster]

There was definitely a sweet spot. Oh, my wife being pregnant. We had two kids. There's definitely a sweet spot from like six to eight months where. Yeah, right.

[Zach Amico]

Boy, it's. It's like preheated all the time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, when you have kids one day you'll. Something happens. You end up getting into pregnant.

[Zach Amico]

It's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I was always like, I don't know. I. I like, watch. I was like the last one out of my boys to have a kid. And you watch some guys, wives get pregnant and they get busted.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, my son's mother stayed hot. She stayed hot throughout the whole pregnancy. She worked out. She. You know, she. She did prenatal Pilates the whole time she was pregnant. She was, like, in shape and fit.

[Zach Amico]

She was working out the whole time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Working out until. Until like a week before she went into the hospital.

[Zach Amico]

Damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She did prenatal Pilates. Because what happens is this is some crazy, you know, the. The woman's body's out of control, dog. You should teach doggy. So check this out. The. The belly, right? So check this out. When you're pregnant, your abdominal muscles split open like a alien dude. And your belly comes out like quato from, you know. Come on.

[Zach Amico]

Total recall.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Total recall. Got it. Thank you. Reference. And you're the. The abs lie on the side of the stomach, right? So what happens is that don't work out when the baby comes out. It's just their abs are all wobbling all over the place, and they'll never get them back. That's why their bodies say all up. But if they do prenatal Pilates, they have extremely strong abdominal muscles. Yep. The baby comes back, and they come right back. That's why, like, fitness are Always, like, they always are tight pretty quickly after. Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

And they don't look pregnant till like, you know those videos, they go into eight months. They don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they don't. It's a hot little belly.

[Zach Amico]

You ever see those? I'm a creep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, I'm getting horny right now. Guys, boys, boys. I'm getting horny thinking about pregnant right now.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, pull up some porn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, can you show us your belly and let's pretend you're pregnant, please? Is maybe actually pregnant porn would be nice right now. I would love that.

[Zach Amico]

Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've. I jerk off the pregnant porn.

[Ryan Foster]

Oh, I never have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You never have.

[Ryan Foster]

I only ended there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, when I was with a pregnant hooker, it was, it was just the most weird. She was. No, she was a hooker. She was a hooker. Don't you worry. Yeah, it was just like. I really. There's. I was like, there's no way this girl's gonna show up and actually be pregnant. This is gonna be a scam. She's gonna show up. It's gonna be some fat lady. Dude. Dude, that bait and switch with. It's one of the most up things with hookers because.

[Zach Amico]

Big hooker guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was a big hooker. I never had a hooker. No. Never get out of town.

[Zach Amico]

Never.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I had a. I had a real debilitating sex addiction for a while. And yeah, no, I would get. I would get hookers here, especially on the road. I would go out on the road and just. But here's the problem. In New York, so we use Eros.com, which is the, the website for high end hookers. E R O s dot com. And they have verified profiles. And if they have a verified profile, that's the. You know what I'm saying? If it's not verified, it's just some other. That maybe looks like her is going to show up. But the problem is, you know, the will show up and you're horny and it's just some pig and you're like, oh, God damn it, I'm not gonna send you away. I'm horny now. So that's what they do. They just bank on the fact that you're gonna be too horny or not. Most, most men aren't mean enough. Yeah, I push them right in the face. Get out of my way.

[Zach Amico]

That's a podcast.

[Ryan Foster]

I only got one. I banged like a Vietnam vet. She was this old Asian lady in a wash.

[Zach Amico]

He always says, I banged a Vietnam vet. I'm like, she's just a vet.

[Ryan Foster]

My heart, my Heart got broken. Some girl broke up with me. I was putting a toilet today, putting the toilet together. Crying through my sunglasses. When I was a kid and in.

[Shannon]

Vietnam, that is also a chef.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My boy was like.

[Ryan Foster]

My boy was like, yeah, we're going like, we're gonna, we're gonna help you out, you know? And oh, man, it was like, he was like, I got you too. You get the hot one. It was a hot one. An old lady. He was like, boop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Gone.

[Ryan Foster]

And like you said, what do you tell the old lady? No, you know, you just.

[Zach Amico]

The old lady probably is better.

[Ryan Foster]

It was horrible. I just kept looking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think that that's, That's a non. That's. That's a man who's never been with a hooker. There's. Yeah, no, the hotter, younger one is better at her job.

[Ryan Foster]

Every time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every time. When I went.

[Zach Amico]

Old lady's going through the rigmarole.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

It's not like waiters at a steakhouse where you see an 80 year old guy and you're like, this guy knows his business.

[Zach Amico]

Six year old shake this martini dish.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, when I went to the cat house in Reno, Nevada, we went there. Me and Ralph went there to do like.

[Zach Amico]

Is that the bald guy's place?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. He died a couple years ago. We went there and they gave us straight up comps for the hookers. And they were like, yeah, here, like, pick your hookers. Then I had a threesome with a hooker named Pantera. The only reason I picked her, because her name was Pantera.

[Zach Amico]

They're all bad names. I'll do Pantera and Slipknot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll take Metallica and Pantera.

[Zach Amico]

Mash up. I'll do Incubus and Ooh, Coldplay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's go.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, she'd complain the whole time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude. Oh my God. It's a Coldplay. No, but I. I had a threesome.

[Shannon]

With these two Deftones.

[Ryan Foster]

How. What you went.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And. But I did, I did like, I did a tour. They give you. They give you a tour, right? That's what they call it. And they walk you around the. The cat house and they show you the different rooms and like this.

[Zach Amico]

See, I'd a whore there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was fun. It was actually a cool experience. And I think you got.

[Shannon]

It's like having a beer at Epcot.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Around.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but when I. They give you. So essentially there's a. There's a lineup, right? The lineup comes out, you pick your girl and then they give you a tour of the different rooms and what they're doing. Is.

[Shannon]

Are they in lingerie?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they're in lingerie. They're being little piggies, and they get. They.

[Zach Amico]

That's a link.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Doggy. They sell you. What they're doing. It's an actual sales process. Process. Right. I don't know if you've ever been in sales before. I mean, I know you run businesses, so it's. It's part sales, but they. Literally. The same way I would tour a gym, they would. I used to be in gym sales to glute hammers.

[Ryan Foster]

You got, like, rooms. And.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they have themed rooms, but what really they're doing is they're. They're collecting information. Right. So this. They introduce themselves. So it's always. It's. It's. When we used to sell comedy club tickets, it was stop, engage, inform, close. That was my sales method. Right. You stop the ma. It's going off.

[Zach Amico]

Did you make that up?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, he's amazing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. You engage them with.

[Zach Amico]

You got to be half Jewish.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe possibly the most industrious Puerto Rican I've ever met.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But you. You engage them with questions, and all you're doing with these questions is you're. You're finding out about them. You're going like. Like, oh, where are you from? How long are you gonna be here for? Like, oh, awesome. Who's your favorite community? You're finding out all this information, but then you're taking that information, and then you are informing them about your product, which is suddenly all of a sudden matched perfectly for you because you have all of this information on them. You know, when they're going.

[Zach Amico]

You drive this off a lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but it is the same. And then close them. Right. And then you triangle. But it's the same process with the gym.

[Ryan Foster]

You.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They come into your office. I used to work at Equinox. Right. And then you ask them to talk to me about your fitness goals. What are you into doing? Classes, this, that, the other. Then you. You know exactly what you have to sell them because they give you all the information. And then you close them. Closing triangle. Same process. These. They would take you around and they're just talking to you. And I was watching it as a salesman through the salesman's lens, and I was going, oh, this bitch is stopping. Engaging, informing, closing doggy. And she would ask me this question, so what are you into? Do you have a girlfriend? This. At the other. Finds out all this information, then all sudden she's. She's got every answer for you, and then she closes you and she sucks. Your rule it was a way better ending than I would ever give somebody. But it was a pretty interesting process. And I was talking to the girl and she was like, yeah, the people who make the most money here are the people who are the older that have been here a long time because they know the sales process way better than the young girls. Young girls are trying to sell based off of being like, hot bitches. They don't know the sales process. They didn't know how to fucking, like, get into the head of the john. And the, that were doing it for a while, they might have been as hot, but they, they, they could really. Yep. It's crazy.

[Ryan Foster]

Whether it's plumbing or treadmills, that's it. It all comes back to the same.

[Zach Amico]

Equinox that is the funniest ever. Yeah, you need to have, like, you should do like, a GoPro show where you just get hired again at the Equinox.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I'm not even allowed in Equinox.

[Zach Amico]

That's not shocking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's banned. I became a member. I was like, I'll make enough money.

[Zach Amico]

You're gonna sign the deal, doggy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I, I, I, I, I became, I was banned from Equinox. I'm gonna eventually go back eventually. Once. Once the manager of my local Equinox leaves and I check the website every month to see if she's no longer the manager, I'm just gonna go in with a fake ID and get my Equinox membership back.

[Zach Amico]

That's the best.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, that's my whole plan.

[Zach Amico]

How long did you work there for it?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Two years.

[Zach Amico]

Damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's making like 100 grand a year selling gym memberships.

[Ryan Foster]

Real.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

The only time we ever tried, I ever tried to get a real hooker. Me and my boy, we pulled up, up, and we're at, like, the hub on the boulevard. These two chicks come up and they had this whole gimmick, like you said they were trying to do the sales thing, but it was like, ah, somebody left us. Whatever. Then they would throw in, like, but I'll suck your dick. And then it was like, ah, my friends left, whatever. And the fat one just kept crying, dude, like, for whatever reason.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, she knows what I like. Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

So my buddy, he said, I'm sitting, I'm in the driver's seat. And I looked at him, I was like, dog, the fat one keeps crying. And I knew who I was getting, right? I knew who I was getting. The fat one keeps crying, I'm out of here, bro. And I pulled off, but that was my only, like, real Shot of picking the hook. Girl bought the street and, you know, she would have knocked it the. Off for a minute. Maybe I sticked it down.

[Zach Amico]

A crying lady giving your heads. Nice.

[Ryan Foster]

No, I'm not into it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

How much was the Bunny Ranch? How much is that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They gave us comps. They gave us comps that were actually. All right. So the comps were worth a hundred and fifty each. And they were supposed. We were supposed to pay them more. And I didn't have any money. I was broke. However long ago this was. We. So I. I had these comps in my hand. Actually, I only had one computer comp. And then Ralph, I guess, didn't want his, so he gave me his. And I was like. And then somebody else was like, you're not allowed to. You can't have two. And then I said. I started talking to these girls. I was like, I don't have any more money. I got these comps or whatever. They said, I can't use them too. And these two were like, yeah, well, come on. And we went in the back room and we just banged. And that was that.

[Ryan Foster]

And this was like that HBO show, Bunny Ranch. Yeah, that was that old sleazy dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that was that. Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, I used to jerk off.

[Shannon]

Ron Jeremy found his bottle body.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Roger was there.

[Shannon]

Yeah, no, he found.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ron Jeremy was at the. It was. It was a cat house, like anniversary party or something like that right outside.

[Ryan Foster]

Of Vegas or something.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was in Reno. Yeah. And there was somebody else.

[Zach Amico]

Former guy to find your body.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who else was there? There was somebody that was like, hosting it all. That was. Oh, oh, Lamar Odom. No, no, no. Flavor Flav.

[Zach Amico]

That's another flavor.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Flavor was there. Yeah.

[Shannon]

If I'm not wrong, that Dennis guy, he was either. He ran for mayor or town council or something. He won. After he died, his body won the election because even though he died, everyone still voted for him.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, I used to jerk off to that. Like that show. It was on latest. It was on hbo.

[Zach Amico]

That was. What was the other show? It was that one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Real Sex.

[Zach Amico]

Real Sex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Amy Winehouse, baby daddy, who is my arch nemesis. In the racist live chat, he just said, new people that won't call him out means more and more lies. What could I possibly be lying about? Do I look cool for banging hookers?

[Ryan Foster]

Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, Shannon, time him out. 30 minutes. He gets to come back at the end of the show. Time him out, Shannon.

[Ryan Foster]

Put him in the corner.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sick of his.

[Ryan Foster]

Okay, so I. I never know how to take comedians and like that And I wasn't sure coming up here. I said to him, I was like, ah, what are these guys like? You know, I don't know. We all know it, but it's funny.

[Shannon]

So the other one's gay.

[Ryan Foster]

So this dude, Chris Trainor, who's like, super fan, all this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I know Chris. I met Chris. All right, so Chris the musician.

[Ryan Foster]

Here's why I'll say you're the man, because Chris is working for us right now. Chris is doing plumbing work for us. And he's coming in, he works for moving company, whatever. And I said, I said, dude, I think I'm going up to Lewis and Zach. And he said, let me tell you something. He said, they're the nicest guys ever met. He said, some years ago, I booked a Lewis show. He goes, I go to the show, the show gets canceled. He said, I'm like, devastated. The show gets canceled. He said, louis hung out with me all night, made sure I had a good time. He said, you'll never meet a nicer guy. He said, all night. He made Shabas good even. He was off doing his other thing, his own thing. He came back, he checked on me, and that was like, kind of like. I was like, all right, I'm going. You know what I mean? But a lot of people in Philadelphia have just tons of nice to say about you guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I appreciate. And Chris is the man. I remember Chris. I don't remember the show. It wasn't his fault the show was canceled. It was mine because I couldn't sell any tickets.

[Zach Amico]

Chris also showed up, but he said.

[Ryan Foster]

He said he totally took care of him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Them.

[Zach Amico]

And that's also, I think. I don't know if it was Chris or Mike Trainer. His brother showed up in blackface with baby oil to I had to be Mike.

[Ryan Foster]

Halloween. We went, dad meat does the shady maple, which is like this quarter mile buffet in Lancaster. And every Monday after the super bowl for the last three, four years, we go up there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

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[Ryan Foster]

I watched Mike Trainor thinking it was syrup or whatever, put a one sauce all over his breakfast. And then he sat there and he ate it, and he just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He owned it. I remember one time I was dating a girl who. Like this, the. That I was dating. When I moved to New York City. I, like, followed her. She was going to fit. She. She left me. She. 911 happened. Her dad was a DEA agent, and she. She left me in New York. She. Her father literally on 911 drove her out of the city because he was.

[Zach Amico]

Just a rollerblade story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So the next day, I had a.

[Zach Amico]

Rollerblade rollerbladed out of New York on the 12.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

On the 12th. I stayed at her.

[Zach Amico]

It's even better.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She. She lived at the Chelsea Hotel, and I stayed at her place at the Chelsea Hotel. She's like, I can't tell my dad. Just stay here. She's like. And I was like, you're gonna let me die amongst a terrorist attack? It's like, my dad can't know that I'm dating you. And then her dad drove her out of New York City.

[Zach Amico]

But regardless, I'm brown. I'm not fucking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This would go out. She did. She, like. She was just like. When I say rich, she was like, now when I think, yeah, her family made like, yeah, her dad was all right. Her mom did all right.

[Zach Amico]

I remember hearing somebody made six figures. I'm like, you're a billionaire.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. No, a million. A hundred thousand dollars was a bazillion dollars when I was a kid.

[Ryan Foster]

No doubt.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, yeah, they had, like, a nice house in Pomona, New York. And it was like. But I remember she would, like, go out for sushi with her mom. And I was like, yeah, I'll never have sushi. Gross. That's nasty. And then one time, I finally, I. I got sushi with this other girl that I was cheating with her on, right? And I was like, oh, sushi's great.

[Zach Amico]

Side sushi right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Beside sushi. And so then I went with her to get sushi. And it's such a funny moment where, like, she. I guess she didn't really have sushi that much because I ordered edamame. And I'm assuming she just never had edamame. So this is such a cringy moment. I think it's so embarrassing for her.

[Shannon]

Can I get. She bit into it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She popped the whole edamame without popping the seat out. And she's like. And I was like, oh, you're supposed to take him out. She's like, no, you can also eat him like this. And then the whole point your.

[Zach Amico]

He had Torn the apart.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can you actually eat him that way?

[Zach Amico]

You can't, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think she did die.

[Zach Amico]

I was a half Japanese, half Italian chick, and I went on a double date with my best friend. My best friend's like. He's like, all my boys are like, tubs. They're. They're golden retrievers, you know what I mean? They're like tits, H Vac, and the eagles.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's it.

[Zach Amico]

And we went out to sushi one night, and this. They brought out edamame, and he just munched them. And then they brought out shrimp tempura, bro. And, you know, you don't eat the tails, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

House in these, but you can eat the tails. You can eat. Yeah, but, dude, apparently there's nutrients in the chat. So. Rebecca Trent. Yo, we would go out. Rebecca, my partner, one of the owners of Creaking Cave, one of the partners in Skank Fest, literally, we went and had sushi one day. She's like, you don't eat the tails. And she started eating my tails. Like, I was leaving something on the table. I was like, are you.

[Zach Amico]

I was looking at him like, are you crazy, dude? We're with two chicks with fake tits, and he's hammering at them on there.

[Ryan Foster]

My boy brought some, like. Like, was in the military. Brought some military dudes from, like, Texas to the crib one time, and they were just popping the shrimp in there with shells, tails, everything, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it's.

[Ryan Foster]

It's crazy. Like, Mexicans are way different. You go west. They got, like, belt buckles and cowboys hats. Like, Mexicans, like the sheetrock.

[Shannon]

Oh, the pointy shoes.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The Mexicans out west are dangerous and scary. The Mexicans here are pathetic and tiny.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, saying like, you don't want to with.

[Ryan Foster]

I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, first I went to California. I was, like, making fun of Mexicans, and people don't.

[Zach Amico]

Don't play.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Mexicans. Will you up out here.

[Ryan Foster]

I was in Phoenix. I saw, like, a real, like, cholo, like, the flannel, like, at the gas station. I said to my wife, I said, don't even look at that, dude. Like, I ain't no chump, but don't look at that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's real quick. Let's do some plugs. We're rolling. We're 42 minutes into the show already. We're just trucking along here, which is great. This is a great show. I feel like we've been on for five minutes and we're just rolling right now. Let's get some plugs going. Tubs, obviously, go check out Mr. Tubbs plumbing and heating. And your Pl is he had another company. Yeah, you don't.

[Ryan Foster]

You don't got to worry about the plumbing companies and all that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't need any of that. But the podcast, yeah, Workforce titans, you guys just talk blue collar dudes.

[Zach Amico]

Patreon.com dude, hop on there. We do every other week. Me and tubs are every other week. The other weeks I have comedians. Yesterday I had my mom, my sister home. We got hammered. They got in a fight. It was good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

The other weeks, me and him do a regular hour, just talking. The second hour on Patreon, we do tutorials. We show you how to fix in your house. I'll mount a Pl. Like mount a panel whole show you how to do fix everything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I need to be more of a man. I'm. I think I'm firing my cleaning lady and because I want to be more of a man, I'm going to become my own cleaning lady. But no, I feel like I can clean, I can do my laundry, I can fold my clothes.

[Zach Amico]

I like cleaning, I like doing dishes.

[Ryan Foster]

There's so many gay construction podcast where it's like, if you don't make seven figures a year, you're a loser and you need to get your together. So it's like when we talked about it and they finally convinced me to do it, it's like, yo, we need some for the dudes just standing out there, white beaters talking, bullshitting and love it like the guys in the hard hat. So that's what we try to do. Comedians are funny, but nothing's funnier than a job site. Like, look, just funniest people.

[Zach Amico]

On the funniest features.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every, every good comic started off as some on a job site, right? Right. Those are the funny ones. The people that are funny in comedy, they're not, you know, buttoned up, nerdy. Those are dweebs. The guys who were funniest to me in high school were the kids who were all white trash trailer park summer school guys at the lunch table just being jerk off.

[Zach Amico]

All my classes were out of the high school. Yep, in the back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, what are you plugging this Saturday.

[Shannon]

January 11th, my new movie, Bring on the Damned is at the museum of MOOD Moving image. 6:00. Tickets still available. And February 14th, 15th, Worcester, Massachusetts, Juggalo weekend. I'll be with JCW doing commentary.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very cool. Guys, come see me on the road. First of all, before I even tell you my dates go. Subscribe to Gas Digital if you love this show. We do A bonus episode every Friday just for subscribers. The one exclusive show every week. But we also do an uncensored and ad free version show of the show. So if you guys are annoyed with YouTube. YouTube censorship. The best way to get the show is just watch it on Gas Digital. It's live, so anything that happens could happen. We edit sometimes. Guys, that's just it.

[Zach Amico]

Subscribe to this today for this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Amazing. I would have given her a free membership dog. She doesn't have to subscribe. I got you.

[Shannon]

Did she use your code?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did she use our code, Laz?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a sorry. She's wonderful.

[Zach Amico]

She was, man. I slept on the couch last night. Pay full price.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go subscribe. You get the bonus, you get access to the racist live chat and many other member benefits. Also, Shannon, what's in it Guy's name. I sent out his Oculus today. He won an Oculus. We do giveaways on the Friday shows. Freaking Ricky. Freaking Ricky. Yeah, you're. Your Oculus is arriving Tomorrow, my friend. Oculus 3S. But yeah, go subscribe. That helps us out. Use that promo code. Laz, come see me on the road. It's officially this weekend. I kick off my 2025 tour. The Bring 5 Friends tour for and we're doing good. Tickets are going well across the board.

[Zach Amico]

And you're crushing doggy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come out this weekend. Thursday night, two shows in Columbus at the Comedy Attic. Then Zany's, Rosemont, right outside of Chicago. Rosemont, Illinois, the suburbs. January 10th and 11th I'll be at Zany's. Then next weekend I'm going to Canada. Going Noquay, Ontario on the Thursday the 16th. Tickets are flying off the shelves. January 17th and 18th I'm going to be in Montreal, Quebec, bec Canada with the French speaking. Come out there. Ottawa is almost sold out. We're like 90% sold. If we sell it out in the next couple days, I'm adding a second show. So come out to Ottawa January 19th on Sunday. Then Wit's ends Comedy lounge on in North Charleston, South Carolina on January 23rd. Off the Hook Comedy Club Naples, Florida on January 24th. Rumors in Winnipeg, February 6th and 7th. And a lot more dates I just added for February, I just added Salt Lake City, Utah. I'll be in Salt Lake City and we'll do a little skiing while I'm out there as well. Baby boys. So come out. It's gonna be a blast. I try to snowboard. Dude, I'm so bad.

[Zach Amico]

And you're coming to Philly when I'm.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Coming to Philly In April, my birthday weekend.

[Zach Amico]

It's gonna be a blast.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Doggy, you're on. You're on the show for sure. Oh, then you are 100. Sorry. No, you guys were great. You guys killed it on the ems. Yeah. Just so funny.

[Ryan Foster]

Is it emus?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Amazing.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come see me live on the road. Come out to Philly. Come out to all those shows. Louisofskangs.com is a website. Check out all my other podcasts. Speaking of Lewis of Skanks, if you subscribe to my email list, that's where we give all the skank fest news. All the news on Gas Digital. I'm. I'm dropping the. The venue this Friday on my mailing list. I'm dropping information about. We're doing. We're launching at least four new podcasts in the next two months. Three of them are already officially signed. Two more we're working on right now. So Gas Digital is expanding in a massive way. And some major news about the platform. Updating the platform in some really cool ways. It's all happening this Friday on my mailing list. And I do a bonus podcast called the Lewis Journal Podcast. You get a little bit more of the serious side of me behind the scenes, the business side. Everything from parenting, mental health, physical health. Lewis Journal Podcast only available through that email list. You can't get it anywhere else. It's not public. The only way to get it. But also check out all my other podcasts. So are available everywhere you find podcasts, the regs, story wars, and obviously the legendary legion of Skanks.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And the thing is, ding. Right, Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wait, one more. January 18th, I'm doing a Philly Takeover show in Allentown. Me, Rainey Naim drew all the boys from Philly at the Inkwell in Allentown. Buy tickets for that. It's in my Instagram Rhino Foster underscore. Buy tickets.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ryan's a beast. So funny, dude. So funny. Let's see. Holly Shear in the rac Live chat says, Lewis, thank you for having tubs. Larry Holder says, take Coke Magic on the road. I do have plans to do a cook magic special. Street magic. Cook Cook. Street magic or street cook magic? I'll go to Austin. I'll go to la, New York. And it's just me performing magic tricks for my comedian friends.

[Zach Amico]

Does your son do magic magic?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Ryan Foster]

And ass Naim, when he was on here, he was like, tubs is rich as. And then, yo, he's talking, and then somebody comes up to me to go, yo, Naim told me you bought a minivan for a charity.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They can't act right.

[Zach Amico]

You know, he shows up 45 minutes late, and they don't make up stories about you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was wild. He just didn't show up to the last show. He literally called me. He got off the. The. The bus at Port Authority when the show was ending. I was like, dude, I'm here. Yeah, it was crazy.

[Ryan Foster]

He. I mean, he's the man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's hilarious, dude. He's just one of the funniest people, period, in the world. Like, in terms of people. Like, one of the funniest.

[Zach Amico]

I met him, like, I was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And he's a loyal. Name's like the type of guy where if you're out and. And some goes down, he's gonna have your back. Which, that's just kind of how I grew up. I was a kid, I hung out with a lot of nerds, so I would. I was the kid who had everyone's back, dude. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's what now. You ever see the video? He got punched at Raven Lounge. He got. I forget if it was like, it was somebody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I heard about it, though.

[Zach Amico]

Some dude ran up on him and hit him. And my cousin, he was like, dude, the first person that called me after I got punched from my cousin Mikey, he's like, I'm gonna call, like, wherever the you're at. He's like, oh. Because he's used a comedian. Like, they're all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they're all.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah. So my wife, like. Like, you know, I try to bring her out as much as I can with all the comedy shows and. And she definitely has her favorites to kick it with. And Naim's like, one of her favorite.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Good dude. Hilarious guy.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah. But stop telling people I'm rich.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's gonna. He's gonna blow up as, like, he's just gonna get better and better. He's gonna really blow up. He'll be crushing it. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If he shows up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's a real ass dude. You got to keep it real ass. I mean, that's the thing. Like, my. My friends aren't really. That's what I'll say about Big J and Dave. Dave. They're just not, you know, I'm saying Dave might be like a buttoned up type of guy. Right. But Dave was a straight up, like.

[Zach Amico]

But he's 10 toes. I see him. He's arguing with everybody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Yeah, but he's. That's some online, which is also kind of gay. People got a lot of. They got a Lot of balls. On the Internet, it comes across, like, keyboard. No, no. Dave is the type of guy where if you get in Dave's face, he'll punch you in the mouth. Me and Dave, I mean, straight up. Like, I remember back in the day, Dave, he was seeing this chick, and the bartender was just like. Like, at the stand. It was at the stand, the first location, the bartender was, like, hitting on him, hitting on his chick in front of him. And he just was like, yo, you. And he grabbed him. He pulled him over the bar and started fighting him. Dave's a street kid from Brooklyn. Like, we used to just smoke blunts and drink 40s.

[Zach Amico]

And he doesn't come across to me like a. I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why?

[Zach Amico]

I think because there's guys who do the art. Because he's very smart and he argues.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And like, to me, I don't know. Like, I don't have any friends like that. But then you can tell he's not a too. Because there's so many guys who do that argumentative thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. They're just. Well, it's just online, it's very easy to have balls. And it's just like. I don't know. Like, I'm not even saying that I'm tough. There's just certain people that are down and who will go to get beat up. Hey, whatever it is.

[Ryan Foster]

That's why.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's why I train and why I fight in the gym. It's not even. I'm not even good. I'm just willing to take.

[Zach Amico]

Nobody's good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm willing to get punched in the face. I think 95 of people aren't willing. They go, oh, you're gonna go in there and spar? A random guy who knows how to box?

[Zach Amico]

It's good for you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not gonna do it. I'm just willing to get punched in the face. And I think that's the biggest difference between being willing to go or not being willing to go.

[Zach Amico]

Well, then the more you do that, you're like, I don't know. I got pretty good at kickboxing. And then you fight there. Nobody's good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, you get to the. Like, I don't know. My. My coach who taught me was, like, a champion in Thailand. And you're like. You think you're pretty good, and then you spar. People like that. You're like, I've never. It feels like an octopus is hitting you, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The other day, a little Russian guy. This guy comes in, me and my buddy Jason.

[Zach Amico]

Pakistani or Russian?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think he Was Russian. And me and my buddy Jason were sparring. He's like, oh, can I. Can I join you guys? My name is whatever his name is. I'm like, sure, dude. He's a little guy, dude. And this guy had no head movement, like, at all. He just didn't care. But he was just so willing to take a shot, to give you five shots. And it was small, so he was fast as fuck. He hit like a tank. Like, after, like, two minutes of sparring, not even a minute and a half, all the coaches in the, like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Zach Amico]

Stop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are you guys doing? Because we were just laying into each other and he was getting the better. He was like, it. Like, he hit me in the nose real hard. I'm so happy. They stopped it because he was about to crush me because I was. I was starting to fall apart. And then we looked online or my buddy Jason, he sent me his profile. World champion Muay Thai guy, just. But it had him had a Muay Thai stance, no head movement, straight up like this.

[Zach Amico]

They do, like, Dutch style.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. Just didn't give a. But those guys. Thai guys are so tough. The toughness, like, boxers. Boxers don't really want to be hit, right. Muay Thai guys are like, no, no, Hit me. Let's go.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I've always been, like. At my MMA gym in, like, this was like, 2007, that was when, like, Dagistanis of Russians first started coming. And they're the black guys of white guys. You know what I mean? They're like mountain white. It doesn't make any sense.

[Shannon]

Tracksuits, gold chains, guns.

[Zach Amico]

It makes no sense. And they look. But they're so unassuming. They're like, let's just. I'm going to horse around. And I'm like, you're. Put me in a pretzel. It's embarrassing.

[Ryan Foster]

Tim Barley is the toughest dork in the world. Yeah, he's a dork, and I grew up with him, and he's just video games and kick flipping and just nerd, dude. He is the toughest dork.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Me and Tim did jiu jitsu at Skankfest, and he tied me into a knot and put his balls on my head. And, yeah, he is. But I won our boxing match. We're one on one. We have to have one more sort of martial art, but it's got a. Yeah. Maybe just kicks.

[Zach Amico]

Some.

[Ryan Foster]

Some people get butterflies, and some people don't. Don't. And that's what it comes down to. Like. Like, some people. When it's about to happen. Their stomach turns a certain way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And then I release butterflies and run.

[Zach Amico]

You need to get beat by your dad.

[Ryan Foster]

But some people just don't like, you know, some people just, it doesn't phase them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Small Batch Cigar for supporting the show. Small Batch Cigar is exactly what you think it is. They sell you cigars in small batches with amazing packaging. Bovita packs with every single pack. So you get super fresh cigars that come right to your house and they ship every order within two to three days. If you live in the continental United States. States.

[Shannon]

That's right. It comes with the Boveda pack, which is 69 humidity. So everything you get comes super fresh. It's the most thorough packaging in the industry with an amazing selection of rare, limited and hard to find cigars. And not only that, you get 5% rewards points instantly with your first purchase.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Smallbackcigar.com is a website. There's a brand new section where they have all brand new cigars, maybe things you haven't heard of and then they have every brand that you have heard of. They got you covered. If you're a cigar aficionado, if you're new to smoking cigars or simply you want to get a great gift for that man in your life. Small Batch Cigar is the website to go to. Use the promo code GAS10. When you check out, you're gonna get 10 off your order plus those 5% rewards points. All right, where were we? I, I, I was posting the other day about AI on Twitter and I mean, I guess I kind of misspoke. I said, I said AI is not coming to take your job. Which it kind of this, I think not our job computer, what job you have. Right. So yeah, I think AI is going to replace a lot of like, I don't think you're going to have a need for a lawyer in the future. Right. They're going to be able to read the contract. They're going to be able. I do this all the time. I have a contract. I'll put it into AI I'll say summarize it. What should I look out for?

[Shannon]

You hire an artificial Israeli.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But some people are like legitimately, some people. I put a poll up on Twitter and I was like, how many, how often do you use AI? And the majority of people like 40% of people said never. Which is kind of crazy to me.

[Zach Amico]

I don't even know what it is you type.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't, you don't use what is it? 41.29% said never. And every day or close to it is only 15%. Here and there is 29, and a few times a week is 13%. Do you never use AI?

[Zach Amico]

I don't even get how it works. You put, you write like a prompt into it.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah. Plumbing company using it. I don't know how the it works. I've never used it. But plumbing companies, like big outfits are using it for, like, to do their estimates and to do their simple calling. Like, somebody calls, you have this whole AI thing of like, okay, our appointments are Tuesday between this time and that time. And like, you can cut out the secretary in that way. So that's where it's like, way into the, like, contractor industry is off of. Of scheduling and setting up jobs. This is how long a job takes. This is the general info.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, just. Just to write a simple contract, you can say, hey, here's five bullet points. This is what I want my contract to say. Give me an airtight contract for my. For my client, and it looks good. It sounds good. If you want to write an email that sounds professional, very easy. Just write in a few short sentences. Be like, I want this to sound really professional. I want to make sure that it's, you know, grammatically correct.

[Zach Amico]

That's basically I is my right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But instead of your taking 30 minutes to do it or 25 minutes to do it in 13 seconds, that's where you sort of. You're gonna get like, just in everyday life, even. So AI for jobs like yours, like blue collar shit, is just gonna enhance your job. A job like mine where we're doing, like, you know, podcast production for Shannon, it just enhances her job. Like, I need. Shannon knows my funny way better than any AI program will ever know my funny. So when you have emotion and opinion and things like that, jobs like that are sort of safe, right? I don't want the producers, I guess they all do this, right? I'll be, hey, guys, there's AI program. It'll help you cut 10 clips in seconds versus you literally taking two hours to edit out clips. And then they all lie. They're like, no, it sucks, dude. It doesn't really work that well. And I'm like, guys, it's not taking your job. I'm not gonna do it myself. I was like, so AI has no tits. If you, you. If you're utilizing these programs to help you with your job, you're going to be better at your job. You're going to be a producer who can cut. You're in. In a minute. Be able to do what would take you literally two years ago would take you three hours to do or four hours to do. If you're not using it, you're retarded. It is a. It's stupid to not do those things. To sit there and write up an agreement for a new client. It's retarded to pay a secretary to do it when you can literally say, this is what I want. And in seconds it just spits it out.

[Ryan Foster]

And I. I don't know where punctuation goes. And I'm not a ch. I'm like, yo to John was leaking on the John. You know what I mean? You'll see when we see it, it's. It definitely streamlines the process. Now for me, being like a smaller company, I'm still like, people call because they want to talk to me through the whole. I have like, I have like the family thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You. Yeah, you. You're fine. Blue collar, like that. Business owners, entrepreneurs.

[Ryan Foster]

But even that. You get the 30 guys. You should be implementing AI like 130 trucks on the road. And you should be you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everything from like. I mean, I can't. I can. The amount of uses. I use it every single day. Yeah, every single day. I wake up in the morning, is.

[Zach Amico]

It like a website or an app?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Chat. GPT. I use the app, I talk to it. I. It has a voice, literally.

[Ryan Foster]

And it makes you sound like you're not a. Like when you talk to it, it's like you spit out some dude.

[Zach Amico]

I'm so like, we have like interior designers on the job. It's like a seven million dollar house. And she'll be like, I'm emailing you. I'm like, screenshot it, send it to me. I'm not doing it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That. Wait, say that again.

[Zach Amico]

All my jobs, like, they'll email us. And I'm like, dude, I'm not going through an email. I'm like, can you just screenshot it? Send it to me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, that email you can literally take. You can take that email. Let's say somebody writes you a long email. You can put it into AI. If you don't want to read it, you'd be like, give me a favor.

[Zach Amico]

Be like, break this into wigger.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Break this into wigger. And, And I wanna, I want you to just tell me what this says in five sentences or less the gist of it, right? You can. You're on Cliff's notes for long, long things. You could just, just. I mean, if you wanted to you could literally just say, hey, give me the Cliffs Notes for this book. And they'll go chapter by chapter and just give it to you. So there's things like that. These are just tools that make life easier and faster. But I use it. I wake up in the morning, I'll have coffee. I'm developing a product right now that I talked to it about that a lot.

[Zach Amico]

He's always busy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm brainstorming ideas with AI and I'm like, so tell me about competing products.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you like, workshop with.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I workshop with it all the time, dude. I'm like, tell me about competing products. Tell me about this. This even. Just like, what did I do the other day?

[Zach Amico]

You could be like, there's I have an ideas or anything like this? Yeah, kind of.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, 100%. I don't know. It's crazy here. I'll say I talk it right now.

[Ryan Foster]

Well, that's. Dude, it's a comment.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Chat GPT how you doing today?

[Shannon]

You again?

[E]

Ready to dive into whatever you've got for me. What's on your mind today?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I'm on my podcast right now, the Lewis and Zach show, and I'm hanging out with a couple friends. We're talking some shit. My buddy Tubs and my buddy Ryan Foster. They're from Workforce Titans, and Tubs is. He owns a plumbing company. What are some uses for Chat GPT that could help him streamline his plumbing business? Give me like five.

[Zach Amico]

This freaks me out.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, watch.

[Zach Amico]

It's like Terminator.

[E]

All right, Tubs, let's get you set up with 5 Ways Chat GPT can streamline your plumbing business and make your life a little easier. 1. Customer communication and scheduling. ChatGPT can handle customer inquiries, answer common questions about services, pricing and availability, and even assist with appointment scheduling through integration with scheduling software. Example, automating responses like, yes, we handle water heater installations. How Does Thursday at 3pm Work for you? 2. Inventory and parts management. Use Chat GPT to help track inventory levels and suggest restocking schedules for plumbing supplies. Example, you're running low on PVC pipes and copper fittings. It's time to reorder. 3. Training and onboarding new employees. Chat GPT can create training materials or quick reference guides for new hires. Example. Here's a checklist for a standard sync installation job.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

4.

[E]

Invoice and estimate templates. Generate professional invoice templates or quick job estimates on the spot for a pipe replacement job taking four hours with $200 in materials. Here's a rough estimate estimate 5. Marketing and social media content. Chat GPT can write engaging posts for social media newsletters or even your website blog to attract more customers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm building.

[Zach Amico]

I was about to be like, chat gbt. Why doesn't my dad love me?

[Ryan Foster]

But I put in there, I put in there like, yo, we charge 195 an hour. It takes two hours to do this job. Materials this much and boom, they're spitting prices at the people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And they'll also give you a sheet that you can send them. You could print. You could like things like that where it's just like, it takes a lot of the bullshit out where like the shit that we don't want to fucking do, right? All that shit like writing website copy. You know, when we built Gas Digital, when we built Gas Digital, I'm just going over it over me and Ralph over and over and over again. The about section be like just re editing. Re editing. We find a mistake, we do this. They're going to just spit it out. I can give you 10 bullet points like this. What we wanted to say. We want to make it sound good, make it sound fucking, you know, make it sound like our voice. We, I could say our customer base is men from 30 to 40 years old. Make it sound appealing to that specific group and they, they will customize everything in a way in seconds.

[Zach Amico]

How many do you think comedians are using that to write acts now?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They can't. It's not funny. We did it on gangs where we had to write jokes for us. And they. So that's comedians, I think are pretty safe because humor is so like, like my humor is very different than your humor. You know what I'm saying? So writing a joke in somebody's voice is pretty difficult. But I have, I had organized my, my notes for my special. Like I have it, I have it written down in a sheet. Sheet, right. So I literally uploaded the picture of my, my entire set list because I wanted to be able to edit it like easily. And I was like, put this into just text for me. And they just put it into text for me. I was like, put into alphabetical order. I said, take all. I put my website in LewisofSkings.com I said, do me a favor, give me a text output of all my dates in order so I could use them to post on social media. It's something that I was just constantly doing. I was typing January 19th from here to here. It things like that. You don't even know the utility until you're sort of in it. And once you're in it. Minute you go on this, like, journey and you're like, oh, dude, I ended up brainstorming and utilizing just.

[Ryan Foster]

Or going.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Getting to a place that I never would have gotten. Because you're not having Google and all these clunky other platforms. You're not. It's not really inspiring, dude. I'll start talking to chat GPT in the morning. And then all of a sudden I'm on this thing and I'm really motivated and I'm starting to create things and I, you know, I'm basically in a boardroom.

[Zach Amico]

Like, hey, it's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's the. It's the best brainstorming tool that I can think of.

[Zach Amico]

I'd be like, my favorite porns.

[Ryan Foster]

You're talking about a guy. I don't have a website for my company. Like, you're talking about like a day one guy. And like, I. I just, I don't have a website. We don't advertise. I don't pay to advertise. Like, everything I have is totally organic. And even they are convincing me. Like, when I go to these, like, plumbing shows and like that. And there's always a booth now. AI booth. We're selling our product. This is what we can do for you. You. And hanging out with some of these guys. I know that at bigger companies and like that, I mean, they're jumping on it. And I know it's streamline in the process. It's making things easier. It's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, what it's going to do eventually it's going to get rid of a lot of like job like copywriters, lawyers. There's going to be jobs that are just going to. You don't really need them anymore. But I think it's going to end up making companies and everybody a lot more efficient. I think everyone's gonna make a lot more money. What's going to probably happen is the lowest of the low, they're gonna just have. They're gonna be paid to be losers. Bags of meat. There's gonna be some sort of eliminating.

[Shannon]

A lot of the busy work.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Which is lazy people see that. Lazy people see that and they go, oh, I, you know, I. I don't have to work as hard. People that are trying to win get you going. They're going, I can get 100 times the work done.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So that's where my mind's at. And I, I utilize it a lot.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna regret saying this in five years. Louis, you need of your solo podcast with ChatGPT. As your co host, I thought about.

[Zach Amico]

It, dude, that'd be.

[Shannon]

And it was just Lewis and the robot would be probably a really funny.

[Ryan Foster]

Thing, but it's still even.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is just so funnier than me.

[Shannon]

It just starts making. It turns on you.

[Zach Amico]

I want to use it, like, start to resent you.

[Shannon]

Over a decade, even.

[Ryan Foster]

It's just another tool that the bums ain't gonna take advantage of anyway. Like, you know, you're realizing even, like I said, getting to the podcast world and all this gay. I'm doing him, it's like, he loves it. It's okay.

[Zach Amico]

He can't get enough.

[Ryan Foster]

I just. I can't get over it. So gay. But it's like there's a formula to this, right? And it's like the hustlers are still hustling, and it's like, all right, your show's unique because it's Zach and Lewis, right? And our show's unique because it's us, too. But at the end of the day, we're all following, like, a basic blueprint of how this thing gets done. You know what I mean? So it's just another tool that the guys that are hustling, the guys that are going to keep evolving and keep moving forward, they're going to take advantage of day, and all the bums are still going to be bombs, they're still gonna be wine, and they're still gonna be complaining just like all the shitty comedians. Why'd that happen?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The amount of people I started talking it about on Twitter, the amount of people being like, yeah, dude, it. You got. You. You have no imagination. I was like, no, no, I have way more imagination now when I. When I use oh.

[Zach Amico]

People say, oh, like, people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

People are acting like. It's like. I just feel like whatever it is, like, they don't want to. I'm sure they said the same thing about the Internet. I'm sure they said the same thing about whatever other tool that was available to you. People. Like, it's cheating. It's like, it's not cheating, dude. You're literally using technology. No. And it's. You'd be insane to not adopt it early and not know how to use it and to try to ignore it and get around it. It seems pretty stupid. I spend most. Now I can spend my time actually being creative, actually being inspired. I'm getting so much more work done now than I ever got done before. Unquestionably.

[Ryan Foster]

The bums are the bums, though, no matter what.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, let's talk about this real quick. Let's see. A Hooters waitress tries to flirt her way out of a DUI arrest.

[Zach Amico]

Wouldn't happen. They're titless now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Titlis. The. Yeah, I saw one thing. Flattest ass I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah. The.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How do they do that, by the way? How do they can they hire based off of being hot? They can't anymore, right?

[Ryan Foster]

That's all jugs. But like the butts. The Hooters pants are not good for butts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude.

[Zach Amico]

It looks like my ass. Yeah, no good.

[Shannon]

We had a Hooters rip off off where I grew up called Bazookas.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Shannon]

And it was black and pink. I think it was more of an ass place.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not mad at that. I'm an ass man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Me too. I like ass over tits. I like. I like. I like small tits. I like a nice pair of small. Yeah, just nice nipples.

[Zach Amico]

I like shoes. I like big.

[Shannon]

I like disco tits, cuz discos between them.

[Zach Amico]

I like.

[Ryan Foster]

I like being there.

[Zach Amico]

Zach has like. I like the American autism. Like Rob Cruz, probably.

[Shannon]

Probably the regular guy.

[Ryan Foster]

He's only said 10 things and they've all been. Yeah, but yeah, I'm. I like to be nurtured, dude. I like a big old set of bags, boy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

That's the Jew thing though.

[Ryan Foster]

That's a Jew, definitely. I mean, I gotta type, dude. Big hair, big titties, loud mouth. Like. My wife's a loud man. I love.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love some. I love some nice tits. Don't get me wrong. Like, who doesn't like a nice big pair of cants?

[Zach Amico]

I love them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm saying a big juicy ass is.

[Zach Amico]

I can't settle down with a pair of big tits.

[Ryan Foster]

I love.

[Zach Amico]

I'm an.

[Ryan Foster]

I always say, I wish I was. My wife's tittied out and I wish I was the size of a GI Joe, bro. I'd be in there, in there getting played around, going nuts.

[Zach Amico]

Driving a Jeep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

Pulling them on me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Put me in your mouth. She's.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Don't you feel bad for kids? Like, what did your kid play with when he was young?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like what he plays with now? He's 12, so.

[Ryan Foster]

My son's 13. He's jerking off and everything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Room and it's a wild thing.

[Zach Amico]

Well, dude, your kid's going to be a problem because he's doing theater.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He does theater.

[Zach Amico]

He's going to be the freakiest.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Theater. He does jiu jitsu. He's. He's also sweet, straight A student. He's like, he's.

[Zach Amico]

No, but that's a nightmare. Cuz guys are going to call him gay and then you're going to get put in a triangle. Might have to kill yourself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My. My son, I told him the other day, cuz he's got some. He's got some good hands too. We were boxing. He's got pop. He's just. He's been boxing since. We always like around with the mitts.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta learn, Lil.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like. And he's so nice. I'm like, james. I was like, you know, you're. You've been doing jiu jitsu for like five years. I was like, you box pretty well. I was like, you could handle yourself with 95.

[Zach Amico]

No, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. He's like, dad, you're just. I was like, no, no, you really.

[Zach Amico]

Somebody's gonna push him and he's gonna smash somebody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's gonna be a problem.

[Zach Amico]

You're gonna be like, not cool, bro.

[Ryan Foster]

It's crazy. My son walks around the house now. He got his little poke. He wears sweatpants. You see his little wean in there? His little poker bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

He's just like, you know, 13 years old. He's beating all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the age. And I still, I check his phone every day still to make sure he's not looking at porn. Porn. Because I wouldn't let him look at porn. If I caught him looking at porn. I. I'm like, hey, you become addicted doggy. When I, when I was, I. I thought I was like a pervert. I thought it was because my mom was a hooker and she showed me all these up movies and like she didn't have. There was no filter in my house about sexuality. I thought it made me a sexual deviant. I think it just runs in my family because he's a little pervert too. I'll tell you right now.

[Zach Amico]

My whole family scumbags.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think all. I think honestly all boys are just a little horny pervert.

[Ryan Foster]

That's my son's search history is crazy.

[Shannon]

Like you went from I got a pregnant hooker to my mom was a hooker.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And then I just think all boys are perverts. Let's feed these kids.

[Zach Amico]

Yo, Tub's house. He. I went to see his house and his. He was like, this is my son. Like he chills up here. And it was like a wood paneled room. I'm like, this is like a. It's like a cigar lounge for kids who drive.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, remember if I see wood paneling I'm like, oh, it's a Jackson. I'm on the hot box. Remember the hot box?

[Ryan Foster]

We had to have, like a talking of his church history was wild. It was like. First was like, what does taste like? Then it. Then it was, how much does a bat boy make? Yeah. Then it was oily, soapy butts bouncing on cocks, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oily, soapy butts.

[Ryan Foster]

So we. I had to sit them down. I'm like, dog, you skipped over all the regular butts.

[Zach Amico]

You're right.

[Ryan Foster]

To the oily, soapy butts. I'm like, you're a animal.

[Shannon]

And be like, you want to be a bat boy?

[Zach Amico]

Baseball's gay, dude.

[Ryan Foster]

We told him. We were like, yo, go upstairs. You want to know? Tastes like. We're like, go dump your pinky bank in your mouth and suck on the change, brother. We're like, you need to knock this off. I told him, I said, you need to find a private browser. I said, your mother's mortified. I said, figure this out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. If I can find that you're doing this, you're in trouble.

[Ryan Foster]

There's a problem.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So if you want to. If you want to. And that's actually, I think, a good standard. Right?

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Jerk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jerk it. Do what you got to do.

[Ryan Foster]

Be cool about.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It'd be like, just hide it. Don't, don't, don't disrespect me and your mother by doing it right in our face. Face. I. If he was looking at porn, I would have a problem. She hates that also.

[Zach Amico]

Listen, I tried when you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When you're a little. When you're a kid that age and you like, when you have the Internet available to you right at your fingers, you're gonna. It's gonna set you up for like a lifetime of being addicted. It's the same thing that's looking at your phone scrolling doom. Scrolling. I don't really let him do any of that. He. If. If my son was on his phone like that, I would take his phone away from him. So I legitimately would see. And he has a phone. He's got an iPad. Bad. But he's very like. He's. He watches YouTube on TV a lot. That's like his big thing. He likes to watch streamers, right? So watch just a guy doing like, you know, a list of the best Batman costumes. That's what he was watching this morning. It's like a tier list of which Batman costume was the best one. And it's obviously Christian Bale. But regardless, not only the best Batman.

[Ryan Foster]

My Son's big into, like, sports history. That's like, what he looks up for the most part, straight as hell. But I gave him, like, the. I said, this is the best advice I can give you, Pop. I said, you're gonna find whatever you're looking for on the Internet. If you're looking for a dark, devious, you're gonna find it. If you're looking for nice, happy, you're gonna find it. I said, so keep that in mind. I said, tread lightly, you know what I mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bringing it into your. Your psyche, that's kind of what you become.

[Ryan Foster]

So we make them stand there and we look through his. Yeah, we're like, yo, you're gonna.

[Zach Amico]

You become the five porn surgeons.

[Ryan Foster]

But he really is. He's a sweet boy. He's always look up good. But like, yo, you can't blame him for wanting to beat that thing, bro. It's growing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hold on one second. Amy Winehouse baby daddy says, Holy, did they waste two great guests. Shannon, time out. Amy, win house baby daddy for one full week. One full week. He's a scumbag piece of. He said we wasted you guys here on the show, that you guys are great, but no, no, you guys are great. He's saying, we're. We're up. So Shannon, he gets a full week timeout out. And. Yeah, that's that.

[Zach Amico]

They're saying, you guys up.

[Shannon]

We got a new Lewis story that we haven't heard ever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he said, light work, Shannon. Make it two weeks. Make it two weeks.

[Zach Amico]

Light work. Dude, tell them to DM me. I'll give my address. I'll give him light work like you said.

[Ryan Foster]

That's what's crazy. Some of these are wild in there in them chats.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They like. It's. It's, you know.

[Zach Amico]

No, they. They want attention.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They want attention. He got it. He got a two week timeout. Enjoy paying for the service. And you can't use the entire platform. You. How about that?

[Zach Amico]

How about that?

[Ryan Foster]

Wild.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But yeah, my son. I'm not. If he's. He hasn't looked. He just hasn't. Unless he's really good at hiding it.

[Zach Amico]

He's gonna be a animal, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think. I don't think.

[Ryan Foster]

I don't think.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He is hiding it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's gonna be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's gonna be. It's gonna be. He's also tall. He's 5 foot 6 already. He's only 12. He's gonna be. He's gonna be 6 foot 2, 6 foot 3, I would bet.

[Ryan Foster]

I Got a big boy, too, man. He's a house. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm betting two abortions by 20.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe, maybe.

[Zach Amico]

And that's been.

[Ryan Foster]

We gave him a condom the other day. Somebody put condom in, like a gag gift. And we're like, yo, dog, is for you. Like, what the am I gonna do with it, bro? You know what I mean? So we. And he's like, no. I was like, dog, listen. I went up his room. I was like, put it in your wallet. Just know that you have it, brother. You know what I mean? I said, but don't play.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't sit on it. Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

Don't. Don't plan on using it no time soon, but just know that you got it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I used to jerk off into condoms, steal them out of my mother's purse. And then. Well, it was. It was two things. It was. Number one, they're lubricated. So you had the lube right there. And just. But then it was easy cleanup. Dude.

[Shannon]

You used to steal them out of the dispenser in his mom's bedroom.

[Zach Amico]

I would jerk cleaning on the sink.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would come into them and then tie them off and then hide them around my bedroom.

[Ryan Foster]

Dude. My grandfather took me when I was like, 12, 13. He said, I'm gonna get you a wet pack. Right? I had this old Jewish grandfather, Jeff, cap, cigar, you know, just bam. Get you a wet pack. Took me into the Rite Aid, got me a three pack of condoms. Soon as I got home, I jerked off in one, dude. Of course, I had to. Yeah, I had to know.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I remember. I think it was because I wanted to make sure my dick fit into a condom.

[Ryan Foster]

Well, and even like. Even like a man, when you're a.

[Zach Amico]

Kid, you're like, my dick is pathetically small. And they're like, okay, okay.

[Ryan Foster]

I don't have a whole ton of. But even imagine, you know, it all fits.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Man named Tubs doesn't have a big dick.

[Ryan Foster]

No. Yeah, I don't have a. I don't have a monster.

[Zach Amico]

We talked about this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A good blue collar dick.

[Ryan Foster]

I got a good signature.

[Shannon]

Baby, in all fairness, your nickname is not Big.

[Zach Amico]

You got another name.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dick.

[Ryan Foster]

But Magnum still fit. Dude, Magnums are more for the length, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Magnums. No. Well, look, you roll. I only roll it down a third of the way. I've had. I've had girls pull out magnums before. And like, you think the first time it happened, I was like, this going to be a problem, but it's fine.

[Zach Amico]

Are you a condom guy?

[Ryan Foster]

Well, you can get a magnum up to your knee.

[Shannon]

A magnum you can use once. Tie it off and then just keep rolling dead.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Am I a condom guy who's a condom?

[Ryan Foster]

Nobody.

[Zach Amico]

No, like I never nobody. No, that's what I'm saying. I. My girlfriend from high school wore a condom after that ripping and run him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. Yeah, I. I don't wear condoms typically but I don't if it's a random hoe like a. Well a hooker. Obviously you'd always wear a condom but.

[Shannon]

Cuz they make you unless your state makes you.

[Ryan Foster]

I got to get.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They don't always make you.

[Zach Amico]

Break me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sometimes hookers, sometimes hookers just want to be loved the natural way way Kiss.

[Zach Amico]

Him on the mouth of a con.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah dude, I kiss him in the mouth of a. I talk about in my act. You ever go down in hooker? Nah, me neither.

[Zach Amico]

Do you do. Do you cellophane them up? What do you do?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy. That's psychotic. That's a crazy way to be.

[Ryan Foster]

We, we respect that. A couple weeks ago we went to. Me and my wife went to the Baby Face concert in Atlantic City because we're just like R B heads, dude. And when we came home I was like yo, I'm not done being. I. I don't want to be white anymore. So. So we watched like Booty Call in the Wood and like all these black movies all weekend and in Booty Call they go to the supermarket for cellophane on the puss to eat it. I. I couldn't believe that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy. I just wouldn't do it if I was gonna have to do all that. No. But I for the most part, no. If I'm hooking up with a chick, it's just a girl that I like. I know a little. It's rarely a one night stand. It's rarely I just meet a. I go home and her and in that case I probably would work on him. That's the pro. Like I'll get road puss. And I preset up my road puss.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So it's not like, it's not like I meet a girl after a show and she's like oh, I want to you. It's more like she's in my dm. She's like I'm coming to your show. And it's like kind of like see.

[Zach Amico]

You in six months.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We'll start chatting.

[Zach Amico]

Wash it, shave it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, exactly.

[Zach Amico]

See you in Mississippi.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So it's that. So I. And then I, I sort of like you sort of lay the foundation with a. A Few different chicks at the same time. Cuz when I got was single again, it felt real dry for a minute. I was like, doggy, I. When I, When I broke up my girl, I was like, dude, there's no girls around. There's like, I had no like lined up. And then I'm like, I just was. Two years of being in a relationship and whatever it was before the relationship, I was down to like just DM chicks and be a scumbag. And then after the relationship, I don't know if I matured. Whatever it was, the first time I tried to DM a chick, I was like, yo, I feel like a creep.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Foster]

Can I piss real quick, please?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go ahead, do your thing, doggy. We'll wrap it up. And I'd say another, another five, ten minutes. Good. But. But then what happens is you start to snowball. You start to get like one chick, two chicks. There's a few chicks just sort of like waiting, you know. So there's, there's a couple girls gotta get AI to. I have to fight myself. I. There's, you know, gotta find myself I'm liking these girls. That's the problem. It's like they. You get comfortable, you start to like a girl.

[Shannon]

You're like, how many dudes do you think are getting catfished right now by AI programs?

[Zach Amico]

Oh my God, dude.

[Shannon]

I mean, how many Indian dudes are talking to AI?

[Zach Amico]

I would bet the like one kid.

[Shannon]

Killed himself who was a kid he thought he was talking to almost an heiress from Game of Thrones. Or not really, but it was a program. Pretended to be.

[Zach Amico]

I don't feel bad. And he killed himself to go be.

[Shannon]

In like the ether with her.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, you will not be missed.

[Shannon]

Of course he wasn't having a dude.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. It's so up because I'm like, I don't know, I feel bad for like guy. Like I never got into the online dating thing. You know what I mean? Like, it's. It's so weird to hear like. Because I feel like like everybody who does the online dating thing, you're literally like circumventing mother Nature. And girls are like, oh, these guys are pieces of. I'm like, yeah, you're talking to a guy who's talking to four girls who would never do that naturally.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So there's like accountant losers who are like, I'm a hound now. I'm like, no, you just have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And then they have personal skills or anything. Well, that's another use for AI too. It's like, if you want. I haven't been on, like, Tinder or Bumble since I've been single. Single. I got Bumble for a second and I just don't ever match with hot chicks. But, like, always opening up and trying to, like, give a girl a line. Now I'm a. I could give you a dope ass line. You could be like, yo, this is her. You can describe 10 things in her profile. Like, all right, she's wearing the color blue a lot. She's got a corgi, she lives in New York. She, this. You name all these things. You'd be like, give me five good opening lines for this and they'll do it. And then you can literally just have your chat GPT chat back and forth with them. And then you just rip the venom.

[Shannon]

Nice dog. Wanna.

[Ryan Foster]

Yo, they really got a bidet in there.

[Zach Amico]

Hey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, we do.

[Ryan Foster]

Yo, I got the remote, you guys. Well, you got on the side.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I got that finger.

[Zach Amico]

Finger pooping. Yeah, yeah, the remote.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But yeah, the online dating thing, I'm not. Yeah, we gotta do. We do comedy. We don't really need.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I've got.

[Ryan Foster]

Yeah, I've never had to do it. I, I've been with my, like, since 099. So I, I, before that, like, if you met on the Internet, you were weird at that time. Now it's like, so common, so normal, so, like, I wouldn't even know what to do.

[Zach Amico]

I like boots on the ground.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm like, james. I was like, just because there's a girl in school that he likes, right? And she likes him. He thinks, you know him and his friend. I heard him and his friend Jesse talking about it. Oh, by the way, they were over yesterday.

[Zach Amico]

How old did you say he was?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

12.

[Zach Amico]

12.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And they were, they were hanging out in my. I, I have my streaming room, which is essentially I just do the Legion of Skanks Friday night. I use it once a. A week for an hour. I. That's the only time I use this room anymore. I used to use it to smoke weed and I used to use it to stream video games. Right.

[Zach Amico]

And he's, like, pumped on what you do, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

For the show we were at. He called you?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, he left.

[Zach Amico]

And I'm like, in the back. I'm so gay now that I'm a dad. I'm like, that's beautiful. Yeah, I was literally, I had to walk outside. I was like, I'm gonna go piss in the parking lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But him and his friend Jesse were over Yesterday. So I gave James my PS5. So they're playing the Spider man game. And that room is full of. Of all fan art, right? And it's just like a lot of like, you know, just whatever. Just dumb paintings and, you know, it's a lot of art on the wall. And one of the paintings is me and Zach and blackface. It's just. It's just literally, it says the red lips and black face, but in my mind, I was like, there. I was like, these kids aren't know what the that is. It's also. It's not. It's not super clear. It kind of looks a little bit like clown makeup. It's just a picture on the wall. Yesterday they're hanging out. I went out to the store, I came back and his buddies like, he's like, why do you. Why are you guys in blackface in that painting? And I was like, what are we. I played dumb, dude. I was like, what? I was like, that's cr. Oh, that is what it is. Huh? So I gotta take it. Sorry. Whoever sent me that robe, whoever sent me that blackface image, now, like, it's gotta go.

[Zach Amico]

There's shed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's crazy. I. I had no idea that children would even know what blackface is. They're playing cops and robbers and James was playing the cop and his buddy was playing the robber.

[Shannon]

So he put blackface on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, he literally, at one point, I hear him go. I hear him go.

[Zach Amico]

It's and shooting to get him black.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's cuz I'm black, ain't it? I can't breathe. I can't breathe. And I had to stop. I was like, guys, what are you doing?

[Zach Amico]

He's kneeling on your neck. It's a blood choke.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is coming from craziness.

[Zach Amico]

Hey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I don't know how I got there.

[Zach Amico]

I forget where we were. Yeah, I don't know. I lost it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't tell me ADHD ain't real, dude.

[Zach Amico]

It's cancer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, look, we're going to wrap this. This has been fun, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for having us.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So. Of course. Please go check out their podcast workforce Titans everywhere. You guys find podcasts and support Ryan Cubs. Go see Ryan on the road. Come see us all in Philly. Me, Ryan Naim. It's gonna be a goddamn blast.

[Zach Amico]

April. What? What's. It's your birthday week.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a few. I think it's March 28th through March 30th.

[Zach Amico]

Don't do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I believe. I believe. Shannon, my website make sure that's gonna be a goddamn blast, Philly. What do they call it?

[Zach Amico]

Punchline.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Punchline. Yeah, Punchline. All right, we're out. Good night.

[Zach Amico]

Peace.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Back when they making noise.