0027. Anthony Zenhauser and Stef Dag

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Luis and Zac Show - Episode 0027: Anthony Zenhauser and Stef Dag

Release Date: January 12, 2025
Hosts: Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico
Guests: Anthony Zenhauser and Stef Dag

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1. Welcome and Introductions (00:00 - 03:00)

The episode kicks off with the signature high-energy banter between hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico. Luis, known as the "Puerto Rican Rattlesnake," pairs his unfiltered humor with Zac's dark and twisted comedic style. They introduce their guests, Anthony Zenhauser and Stef Dag, setting the tone for an unrestrained and lively discussion.

Notable Quote:

• Zac Amico (00:02): "Free speech platform. I was afraid of that for a while, but now I'm a right-wing supporter, so I'm ready to go, baby."

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2. Ethnicity and Free Speech Discussions (02:00 - 10:00)

The conversation shifts to discussions about ethnicity, particularly focusing on Slavic identities. Luis and Zac humorously debate whether Slavic people are considered the "most white," touching on stereotypes and cultural perceptions.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis J. Gomez (02:03): "Slavic is arguably the most white."
• Zac Amico (02:10): "Slavia is the root word of slave. I had no idea."

The hosts also delve into the topic of free speech, emphasizing their commitment to an uncensored platform. Zac expresses his newfound alignment with right-wing sentiments, highlighting their stance against censorship.

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3. Wrestling Anecdotes and Opinions (03:00 - 15:00)

Zac shares personal anecdotes about watching wrestling with his son, reminiscing about past WrestleMania parties. The discussion evolves into a critique of modern wrestling shows, comparing them to theatrical performances.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (06:02): "I watched Monday Night Raw for the first time in 15 years. It was bonkers."
• Luis J. Gomez (07:05): "It's really theater for boys. It's soap opera for boys."

The hosts express mixed feelings about the authenticity of wrestling, debating its portrayal as "fake" versus its entertainment value.

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4. Guest Contributions: Anthony Zenhauser and Stef Dag (15:00 - 30:00)

Guests Anthony Zenhauser and Stef Dag bring their unique perspectives to the table. Anthony discusses his experience with show business and his upcoming projects, while Stef shares insights from her stand-up comedy career.

Notable Quotes:

• Anthony Zenhauser (15:13): "She's seeking a man who's 24 to 27."
• Stef Dag (25:46): "This kid has full autism. It's deeply concerning."

The conversation covers a range of topics, including the challenges of comedy, personal stories, and societal issues, all delivered with the show's trademark humor.

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5. Advertising Segments (30:00 - 40:00)

The episode features promotions for sponsors, including Mando Whole Body Deodorant and smallbatchcigar.com. Zac passionately endorses these products, integrating them seamlessly into the conversation.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (18:02): "Mando has deodorant that takes care of all your stinky spots, up to 72 hours."
• Anthony Zenhauser (37:35): "They have an amazing selection of rare, limited, and hard-to-find cigars."

These segments highlight the hosts' charismatic pitching style, blending product information with their comedic flair.

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6. Discussion on Dogs and Pit Bulls (40:00 - 50:00)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussions about dog ownership, specifically focusing on pit bulls. The hosts express strong opinions about responsible pet ownership and the behavior of certain dog breeds.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (20:27): "Pit bulls like to kill. That's why their tails are wagging."
• Luis J. Gomez (23:25): "Kill all pit bulls. I don't care."

The conversation includes humorous yet controversial takes on incidents involving pit bulls, reflecting the show's edgy content.

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7. Parenting and "Elf on the Shelf" Segment (50:00 - 60:00)

The hosts analyze a viral video featuring the "Elf on the Shelf," discussing its implications on child psychology and parenting techniques. They debate the appropriateness and potential psychological impact of such practices.

Notable Quotes:

• Anthony Zenhauser (39:03): "I saw a video that I laughed at for the first minute, then realized it's child abuse."
• Zac Amico (44:09): "My son believed the magic until we told him it wasn't real."

This segment combines humor with a critical look at modern parenting trends, showcasing the hosts' ability to tackle sensitive topics.

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8. Miscellaneous Banter and Closing Remarks (60:00 - End)

In the final minutes, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter, discussing upcoming shows, personal anecdotes, and interacting with live chat comments. They wrap up the episode with promotions for their upcoming performances and encourage listeners to subscribe and support their platform.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (63:03): "New York has the better comedy scene. We're saying the actual clubs, the audiences here suck."
• Luis J. Gomez (75:30): "I feel like we can't bring you to a grocery store. You're disruptive."

The episode concludes on a high note, maintaining the show's energetic and unapologetic spirit.

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Conclusion

Episode 0027 of "The Luis and Zac Show" offers a rollercoaster of unfiltered humor, controversial discussions, and candid conversations. With guests Anthony Zenhauser and Stef Dag, the hosts explore topics ranging from ethnicity and free speech to parenting practices and pet ownership, all while maintaining their signature comedic style. Supported by enthusiastic endorsements for their sponsors, the episode encapsulates the show's commitment to pushing boundaries and delivering irreverent comedy.

Transcript

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Blah blah, blah, blah. You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko red dot head shot. We just knife with a Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper. Lewis. And it came to attack, spilling crack on the tracks. Oh, Chichi Benson, glasses are back. You, it's your boy, Lucia Gomez Porter garaddlestate king of things. Coming at you like Cleopatra. Your mama's butt cheek looks good by the way. Guys, great lighting. Shout out to the staff who finally did their job. I am here as always with the international superstar Zach Amico. What is up, my friend?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

How you doing, pal?

[Zach Amico]

Chilling, man. Shout out to everyone watching live on gas digital dot com. If you guys are watching this on YouTube, you should know that we pre released the show uncensored and ad free on gas digital.com. we also give you a bonus episode every Friday. We just give that to you. If you're a subscriber, go subscribe to Gas Digital. It's the number one way to support the show. If you hate censorship, this is the way you do it, baby boy. Fight censorship by supporting a free speech platform. I'm using the word free speech platform. I was afraid of that for a while, but now I'm a right wing grifter, so I'm ready to go, baby. Free speech, baby. All day long. Elon Musk is new to this game, okay? We've been doing this for a long time. Use that promo code, Laz. Get yourself a discount. Why not? Two incredible guests as always. I'm counting them as white people. Even though I think Steph is not exactly white.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Slavic is like arguably the most white.

[Zach Amico]

The most white.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But we're a protected class. We were labeled a minority a few years ago. Slavic people slo.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like Slavic people. You actually told me this. You said that Slavic is the root word of slave. I had no idea. Yeah, no idea that so I just assumed you were part African. That's why I assume that. Slavia.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you stole that from you go Slavia.

[Zach Amico]

You get slobbish.

[Steph D.]

I was waiting for you to stop talking so I could do that to Zach. And of course he beats me to the.

[Zach Amico]

Well, look, we're gonna have some fun today. Some fun gags today on the show. You know I'm in love. And from the Uncle Rico show on the Shuli Network, the great Anthony Zenhauser back on the show.

[Steph D.]

Yeah. White power.

[Zach Amico]

White power, dude.

[Steph D.]

Free form music radio.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Booming The Cube. All right, look, Steph's leaving. She's like, I'm gonna go. Also from her no pod. She has no podcast. She's just a very funny stand up comedian. I see her at the stand all the time, crushing it. The great Steph D back on the show on her first ever non exclusive show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hi.

[Steph D.]

Nice of you to have her on today to make me and Zach look skinny. Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Also, wait, what do you. What do you mean you're now a right wing grifter? What were you before?

[Zach Amico]

I wasn't a right wing grifter. I was not. I said, politics are gay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now I'm like, I'm all on the Trump wagon.

[Steph D.]

As you should.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. T bird. T bird. 20, 20, 26. Can he, can he, can he go again?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Zach Amico]

I bet you he changes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He'll change all.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, he'll.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Let's see in four years if he doesn't change that.

[Zach Amico]

I'm very excited about today's show. Today's gonna be a fun day. There's a lot of fun things to talk about. I sent Shannon a fun video of a pit bull being shot to death. We're gonna watch that on today's show. But I'll say, Zach, you know what I did last night, Zach?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You watched wrestling with your son.

[Zach Amico]

Well, let me just fucking present it. I mean, you don't want to read my Twitter and then fucking answer. Did you? Yeah, I did. I watched Monday Night Raw with, for the first. I haven't watched wrestling. I mean, we went to like, we did a wrestlemania party like years ago, and like, it was. It was like, with soda and a bunch of comics and like, that was fun. It was kind of a fun thing. But I haven't really sat down to watch wrestling. 15 years. I don't even know. I don't even know how long it's been. Wrestling fan, Steph? Probably.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, but I was the wrestling stat girl in high school.

[Zach Amico]

You were the wrestling stat girl? Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, I would take videos for them to re watch the videos, but I would just zoom in on their asses.

[Zach Amico]

Are you talking about. You're talking about high school wrestling team? Yeah. Yes. No, we're talking about profession. This is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I know, but I'm just adding I'm not a wrestling fan, but I was involved at some point.

[Zach Amico]

Womanly response.

[Steph D.]

She's.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are any girls really into wrestling?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, my sister. Massive wrestling fan.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Fat ones.

[Zach Amico]

She's fat. Got it. When I said massive wrestling, she doesn't like it that much.

[Steph D.]

She's just a massive get lumped into wrestling. Juggalo, nascar. That's pretty much the pipeline.

[Zach Amico]

Are there any hot wrestling fans out there that are chicks? I haven't seen one.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

They're, they're. They're out there, but usually they're scooped up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like I would become a fan to if a guy I liked was a fan.

[Zach Amico]

That's what you got to do. We got to find.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what I would.

[Zach Amico]

You know what they call that? Kurt Metzger coined this phrase, which I love. They call that a dick puppet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Uhuh. Where you like get the hobbies of the guy.

[Zach Amico]

You like whatever dick is inside of you, you start doing what he wants you to do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I love that. I just love that phrase. And to be honest with you, most women are dick puppies.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Does anyone else hear the hollowness of nothing?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I do hear is what is happening.

[Shannon]

It's the heater slash air conditioner.

[Zach Amico]

No way.

[Shannon]

I can turn it off if you want. It is. It's pretty sure it's that.

[Zach Amico]

Why is it making that sound?

[Shannon]

It's when the weather changes. They act weird.

[Zach Amico]

It sounds like angels are appearing outside of the building right now. Didn't sound like the world is ending outside.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yes, it's the rapture.

[Zach Amico]

Are they picking that up on the microphones? If they're not. If it's not being picked up, the microphones, I don't give a shit.

[Shannon]

I. I do hear it a little bit. Let me turn it off.

[Zach Amico]

Turn it off. For the love of God, Shannon. We don't need heat. It's only 16 degrees outside right now.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Sorry, Shannon. Sorry. Sorry to call attention to it.

[Zach Amico]

I went to a. I went to a wrestling show, like a house show when I was a kid, maybe 11, 12 years old. And there was a girl sitting next to me who was pretty cute. She was made. She was 2. I remember she was 2 years old than me. I think I was 12. She was 14. And then like she was kind of.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

She was hoping Jerry Lawler doesn't come by talking.

[Zach Amico]

She was legitimately being flirty and my mom was there and I was just kind of uncomfortable. And I remember she asked me how old I was and I wanted to lie, but I knew my mom and my sister were right there and I couldn't lie and I had to tell her. 12. And then I just watched all of the energy deflate out of her in that moment. I was like, this is it. I'm not gonna.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This child, how old was she?

[Zach Amico]

14. I think she might have been 13.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

But she was at a wrestling show, so she might have been retarded.

[Steph D.]

You're a Puerto Rican? 12.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

So what did James think of Raw?

[Zach Amico]

He's kind of into it. You know, we got. It was fine. It's a lot. First of all, let me just say this.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

It was a lot.

[Zach Amico]

Commercials on Netflix is crazy. Yeah, it's bonkers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is this fake wrestling or real wrestling?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Wwe. Fake. Risk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

You think we're watching collegiate wrestling on Netflix?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, it's like. Okay, so it's like theater wrestling. It's gay.

[Zach Amico]

It is a little gay, I'll admit that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's really theater for boys.

[Zach Amico]

I know. I agree. It's soap opera for boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Maybe. Yeah, for sure. It's a little gay.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That's not new territory.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's totally. Totally.

[Steph D.]

You think it's gayer than real wrestling? Wrestling, where they start out doggy style?

[Zach Amico]

They don't start a doggy style. It's the second round. You choose if you're up or down, baby.

[Steph D.]

Yeah, that's doggy style.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it's the second round. You start off.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

No, it's called. You start off top or bottom.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You start off making eye contact with each other.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah.

[Steph D.]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So it's gay. A little gay. It's all gay.

[Steph D.]

But that's not as. But that's less gay than real wrestling.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because they actually want it in real wrestling. They want to be in each other's dicks.

[Steph D.]

You're talking about some oiled up, beautiful, muscular men in spandex pretending to fight. Pretending to fight pre a story over jealousy.

[Zach Amico]

It was the. The problem with number one, the commercials is that the first time they've ever put commercials on Netflix.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Did the Jake Paul fight have commercial?

[Zach Amico]

Did. No. Dude, that is bonkers. You pay netflix 14, 15 bucks a month to have commercials. That's crazy.

[Steph D.]

I. I just canceled my membership.

[Zach Amico]

It was like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's tears.

[Zach Amico]

No. Maybe I barely cried.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe.

[Steph D.]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe you pay for the cheaper one.

[Zach Amico]

No, I don't think so. I don't think. Because it's a live show, so they go to commercial break and then they come back. There's not tears.

[Steph D.]

Well, that's. I mean, YouTube's the same way. There's like 10 commercials on everything now.

[Shannon]

I think Steph is right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, by the way, I came here to airlift you out of here. We need to get you the out of this studio, Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

And I mean this. And I really mean this. Shannon, I'm gonna spit in your mouth. If you ever make me look stupid again, is it really tears?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do you guys roof here? At the end of every office comes back.

[Zach Amico]

The only reason she stays the beginning ad supported tier in November 2022. Zach, what is going on here? Am I crazy? I. I don't. I pay a lot. I pay like 16 bucks a month.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I pay like 22amonth.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

So I think the 6.99 version you get. Correct. You get commercials during the movies.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, no, that's not what we're talking about for the wwe. Is there a way to watch Raw without the commercials? That's really what I'm asking. Find that out. Shannon. How about you give some relevant information? You don't make me look stupid trying to do some weird girl power shit with Steph Dag. We're starting a lawsuit with Steph fucking Dag. Just the disrespect, Shannon. Find that out, Shannon.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You know, it was a little light on action, but it did a good job. Like, I think for you guys, if you've never seen the show before, you haven't seen it in 15 years. It kind of caught you up real quick.

[Zach Amico]

Look, the Rock was great. He came out, you know, he did the. Do you smell what the Rock is cooking? Then I honestly. That's why I even pulled his glasses out, because he was wearing glasses like this. And then I was just doing it for the kids and they loved it. Then I just walked around.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So there's like, lore and it comes back in over, like.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, there's storylines that are like 25 years long.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow. It's kind of like Taylor Swift for Boys, actually. With like, Lauren discography or like any.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Other TV show ever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's specifically Taylor Swift because there's like, characters that come back in her songs. I don't know, it feels like that.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Oh, my God, like novels, movies, TV shows.

[Zach Amico]

Time out here.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

No, there's a narrative.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no, I'm saying Taylor Swift invented narrative is what I'm saying.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on, wait a minute. Netflix subscribers on the no ad plan wouldn't get ads during Raw. So I'm just paying for the cheap bitch plan?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You're probably still paying for DVDs in the mail.

[Zach Amico]

You don't know Turkey. I didn't realize that.

[Steph D.]

I keep getting these posters.

[Zach Amico]

What's going on now? I have no problem with it now. I have no problem. They're trying to get their bag. If I have an option to cut out those commercials, I have to just upgrade my plan now.

[Steph D.]

Yeah, that's all you gotta do.

[Zach Amico]

There you go. But I mean, look beyond that. Like, it was fine. Like, the. The guy. The Roman Reigns guy. He's not a good wrestler. No, he's a bad wrestler.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

He's handsome.

[Zach Amico]

I guess he didn't. It was. It was not fun. The only thing I'll say, there was a moment with my son. We're watching. There was a female match. Pull up these. Both these.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Shannon, Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan.

[Zach Amico]

Rio. I was never gonna get there. Thank you.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Rhea Ripley is the blonde of the goth. The goth Rhea Ripley's you like. I mean, they're both extremely hot.

[Zach Amico]

I would say they're both extremely hot.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Rhea Ripley is. That's Mommy forever, dude.

[Zach Amico]

You like that?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

She's got a fucking ass and a half on her. Yeah, man. She's Australian. She's super hot.

[Zach Amico]

Is she? I. You know, I didn't even hear. I couldn't hear her talk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's hot.

[Zach Amico]

This is. Yeah, this is Liv Morgan. She was pretty tight. And then the other chick is Rhea Ripley. And they fought. Now, this is not that toy.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You're out of your mind. She's so hot. She's just beautiful.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She looks like she could be my sister.

[Steph D.]

She has a pilot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She kind of have a similar face.

[Zach Amico]

Actually, as I'm looking at it, I realized that Steph, it does have a little bit of a Rhea Ripley vibe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm kind of both of them.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Search her butt. Show us her butt and tell me she's not having awesome butt.

[Zach Amico]

Steph, you should be Rhea Ripley for Halloween this year. This is perfect.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would do that.

[Zach Amico]

Whoa. She's a thick, this girl.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Dude, come on.

[Zach Amico]

This is a thick bitch. Zach, that's a.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That's a woman.

[Zach Amico]

She got a wider back than me.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

So they. But here's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are their fights vaguely sexual to us?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yes, to them. No. Like, when she pinned her, they literally scissored.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The end of the match, she. They literally said, I watched my son do this as he was watching the tv. He was so engaged with this one match, and he doesn't know who they are, so he wasn't following the storyline. So my sister's like, yeah, Rhea Ripley's the one you need to like, because she's the goth one. She's like, my sister's, like, connecting with this fat goth chick. And then my son was just like. He's like, no, I'm rooting for the blonde. And he just. Straight up, I was like, oh, man. My son's not gonna be like, a weirdo like Zach in high school. I Would have been into the more the Rhea Ripley type. Like a gothy a. You know, she's dark or she cuts herself. Her dad's gone. But my son's normal. He was like, let me root for the fucking hot Blancheck. And my sister was trying to get him to understand that she was the bad guy. And he's like, I don't care. That's the one I'm rooting for.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Well, so I think you would be surprised how many dudes are really into Rhea Ripley.

[Zach Amico]

I think she's fine. I just wouldn't say, like wrestling fans are into Rhea Ripley.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

No, man, that's. That's. She's a fucking movie. She's gonna be a movie star, dude. She's so fucking hot.

[Zach Amico]

Can I get a coffee, please?

[Steph D.]

Either way, it's nice to know your son's not gay.

[Zach Amico]

He's not gay.

[Steph D.]

You know, like, if he got up and started doing pirouettes during that match, you'd be like, I gotta have a talk.

[Zach Amico]

He went. He just went to the bathroom during the match, came back boring during Roman Reigns and starts humping his hands. A little pervert. But anyway, that was my night I spent watching professional wrestling. What's going on with you, Zen? You haven't been here in a minute.

[Steph D.]

I've been here. Came here last month. Yeah, Yeah. I try to keep it monthly. We're just. I'm killing it out there, man.

[Zach Amico]

You're out there in the dabble verse.

[Steph D.]

Doings and you know, they keep on.

[Zach Amico]

Trying to pull me into the dabble verse. They keep on trying to pull me.

[Steph D.]

You want to be in there?

[Zach Amico]

No, I don't. I don't.

[Steph D.]

Keep your toes because it's a lot of fun.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's dabble?

[Steph D.]

That's great. So, hell, you're in the right place.

[Zach Amico]

There we go. All right, Anthony, you explain what the dabble verse is or can I. Can I say what I think it is and you can tell me what I have wrong?

[Steph D.]

No, he's wrong.

[Zach Amico]

I am. I am wrong. I don't even know. I think at this point it's torturing Stuttering John.

[Steph D.]

Not torturing anybody. No, no. We're just. We're four guys.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Let me get you in it. Did you obsessively listen to the radio 30 years ago? Wasn't alive yet then you might miss some of this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stuttering John.

[Steph D.]

Stuttering John. Yeah, yeah, it's. But you know what? He's got a new Persona. It's. It's a new. It's for a new generation. It's like watching the wrestling now, and you just pick up your narrative.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are you guys talking?

[Steph D.]

How Oldez was. He was a personality on a radio. You ever heard of Howard Stern?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he was on the Stern show, and he would stutter, and they would send him to red carpet events, and he would stutter his way through interviews with people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But he actually has a stutter.

[Zach Amico]

Well, he did at the time. I don't think he does anymore.

[Steph D.]

Right, stunt boy. Apparently he stutters when he lies or if he's really nervous.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So he cured the stutter.

[Steph D.]

So he was. He was a young guy who got picked up from the Stern show because he had a stutter. So it's kind of like he forest gumped his way into show business.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's. The bit is great, dude. You send a guy who's got a stutter to red carpet to interview celebrities. It's. It's a great bit. I get it.

[Steph D.]

It's fun.

[Zach Amico]

So you would say up to them, I think. I think they use him in a good way.

[Steph D.]

I think it's like watching somebody that you like watching a childhood actor become a train wreck in 20 years. They just become like a meth head. It's kind of like that guy from the Terminator 2 movies. What's his name?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Furlong.

[Steph D.]

It's. This is like our Edward Furlong or Corey Feldman's. Another way I can explain it. It's just somebody who still has to be in show business without actually not being in show business and calling yourself a celebrity when nobody knows who you are. And it's fun to just watch that unfold.

[Zach Amico]

But is that what the Dabble verse is all based around?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now, this is a podcast where you guys do this.

[Steph D.]

It's like a community of people.

[Zach Amico]

It's a bunch of podcasts.

[Steph D.]

It's a, It's a whole fan base talking about. It's like the Legion of Skanks fan base. If there was 10 of them, there.

[Zach Amico]

Was 10 of them that really were.

[Steph D.]

10 hardcore fans who really enjoy. But we do like it. We do a yearly convention every year called dabblecon. We have a bunch of people show.

[Zach Amico]

I'll come to dabblecon this year, but I will not, I will not be in that. They keep on trying to pull me, and people talk about me in it, and I, I, I refuse. Sutter and John, they got. They got Sutter and John to block me on social media because they had a fake per. Somebody pretended to be me in his chat and was like, yeah, dude, I'LL fight you. And he was like. And then he blocked me in real life. I was like, what is even happening right now?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This feels like when people try to explain the cloud to me, like I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

[Zach Amico]

He's sitting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where is this? Where is this community?

[Zach Amico]

It's a cloud. The clown cloud.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cloud.

[Zach Amico]

Clown cloud. So, yeah. So that's going on for you. Good for you. What is the next Avalon?

[Steph D.]

We're probably scheduling it around August and we do it in Rochester, New York.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cool.

[Zach Amico]

Hop in town.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

If you weren't impressed yet, I want to go.

[Steph D.]

It's fitting though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are there any girls?

[Steph D.]

Huh?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are there any girls?

[Steph D.]

What?

[Zach Amico]

Huh?

[Steph D.]

Yeah, there's a. There's a couple of girls, sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But are they WWE fan type?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, they're fat and ugly, for sure.

[Steph D.]

They're nice. They're nice people.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

There's a reason your convention is at the home of the garbage plate.

[Steph D.]

Two cars were stolen during D. It really was.

[Zach Amico]

So look, total of a fifteen hundred.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Dollars worth of theft.

[Zach Amico]

I want. I want to talk about this Pitbull, but. And I. I don't want to make my whole thing Pitbulls. Okay, I know that I'm regularly ranting about how Pitbull should be taken away and you need a license and blah, blah, blah, blah, but now when Pitbull attacks happen, people send me the videos and I don't even click on them most of the time because it's usually a pit bull eating a baby, and that's just not fun to watch. There's no angle there, Shannon. We'll never watch a pit bull eating a child again. I'll say that right now on the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But we're gonna watch one get shot.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you better fucking believe we're gonna watch one get shot.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

But if we had a video of a baby eating a pit bull that.

[Zach Amico]

We would stream, that would be sick. We would have to watch that on AI. Probably right. Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Mando for supporting today's show. We love Mando Whole Body Deodorant. Not just for your armpit, Zach, but everywhere you can have a stinky spot. And I'll be honest with you, Zachary. There's a lot of stinky spots on you.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I've been known to have many a stinky spot. I got pits, balls, thigh folds, belly button, butt, crack, feet, all those things. But Mando has deodorant that takes care of all those things. And it's clinically proven to block odor better than just a shower up to 72 hours.

[Zach Amico]

I mean that is incredible. If you take just a shower alone, your balls are going to stink by the end of the day. Mando's got you covered. You can use their stick deodorant, cream deodorant, anything you guys want. And it genuinely makes you just smell delightful. Who doesn't want to smell good all day long? This is a great product. I really love them as a product. Their stick deodorant. I love the Bourbon leather. You get to smell like a real man dude. If you want to turn to you a man doe man dude. If you, if you, if you use it, I'll tell you right now, any girl you're hanging out with that smell is sexy as hell. All the girls tell me that. Shannon, every time I walk in and I'm wearing the Bourbon leather, she comes in and it's like, you know when a cartoon starts floating to a piece? That's what Shannon does. And she does point her tits out. And she's very, very sexually attracted to me. Right, Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I'm like a cat. I just rubble over you.

[Zach Amico]

I know. Yeah, she loves it. So they have everything. They have the solid stick, they have the aluminum free spray deodorant as well too for those hard to reach places.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

And deodorant wipes I can't put over enough of. You're stuck in the car all day. There is nothing like freshening up with those deodorant wipes. It really saves you time on the road.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it really does. And I'll tell you right now, we're going to give you an amazing deal right now. If you go to shopmando.com shopmando.com if you're a new custom, they're going to give you their starter pack which is absolutely perfect. It includes a stick deodorant, includes this cream deodorant and two products of your choice like the mini body wash, which I love, or the deodorant wipes, which are an absolute must and free shipping. 5 bucks off, 40% off. Use the promo code. Laz at checkout Laz at [e-mail] all right, where were we? Shannon, Can I. Let's see this video. So apparently a guy's getting out of a car and he's got his child in his hand.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Look at this. And this, this guy, this guy's pitbull is off leash. Look right there. Is that you?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

To him it looks like, look at this. Holding an ice cream cone.

[Zach Amico]

He takes his gun Out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, yes, yes. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Goodbye, goodbye, dog that's attacking me and my child. Are you out of your mind?

[Steph D.]

I want to come say hi to you. I want to come say hi to your baby.

[Zach Amico]

Also, sometimes. Look at all the tails wagging. Pit bulls like to kill. That's what's happening. That's why their dog. Their tails are wagging. If you ever watch an actual pit bull fight, and I have the dog's tails are wagging, they're fucking. They're way into murdering.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The other angle looked like the United Health Care shooter. Like, it looked like it went down the same way did.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe. Maybe this pit bull deserves it. But more people would be up. More people are upset about this pitbull being shot than the United Health Care CEO. 100%.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No one's upset about the UnitedHealthcare CEO getting shot, though.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not upset about it. I wasn't. I wasn't celebrating it like all the other psychos in the world. Steph's from Brooklyn, so she. That's. They have. They have crazy morals in Brooklyn. It's a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can we see the second I'm on this show. What morals?

[Zach Amico]

It's a bad decision you're making with your life.

[Steph D.]

I don't know why you're doing 22, 23. How old are you?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

22, 23.

[Steph D.]

Yeah. Well, you're in your 20s, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You could tell people 22, 23.

[Steph D.]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm 18 plus.

[Steph D.]

Yeah, you think?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I turned 30.

[Steph D.]

Revolution.

[Zach Amico]

You turned 30 this year?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Isn't that gross?

[Zach Amico]

It really. I was. I'm bummed out. I gotta be honest with you. I thought you were younger. I'm a little. I'm a little bummed out that you're turning 30 this year. You can no longer be on the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Zach Amico]

That's it.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Can we see the second angle again? Because I want to see how close it got before he.

[Zach Amico]

It got pretty close. Well, he pulled the gun out when it was already running toward him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It looks like the CEO video. Am I wrong?

[Zach Amico]

Also did that kids. I mean, that kid ears have to be ringing, right?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, but they're also attached to its head.

[Zach Amico]

Look at this guy. Oh, my. Stupid people. You killed him. Even though I don't have him on a leash because I'm a fucking idiot.

[Steph D.]

Yeah. When a guy with no shirt on comes at you and tries to talk sense.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Geez. Where is this?

[Zach Amico]

Probably Brazil, right? I assume everything bad that happens is in Brazil.

[Steph D.]

It's on the lower east side.

[Zach Amico]

Where's that video, Shannon? Do we know?

[Shannon]

I don't know. I just. It's all in Spanish, so this is.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

How dumb I am. I thought, well, the dog saw. He took the gun out and didn't stop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Suicidal dog.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

So I would say that's the doll on the dog because it saw the gun.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steph D.]

That's not how it works, though.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, no. It came to me that dogs do not understand the concept of guns.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that would. Yeah, that would be so fun to do. Kill a dog to murder a murderous pit bull. Oh, my God. Give me the opportunity.

[Steph D.]

He came at him like a heat seeking missile. Like there was no doubt in that.

[Zach Amico]

Dog was trying to. He was going to try to eat the baby. Yeah, that was gonna get a baby in his arms. That dog was gonna jump up and try to nip at that baby.

[Steph D.]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

And here's Steph. Everyone in Brooklyn like, more pit bulls.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Kill all the pit bulls. I don't care, okay? I don't like animals.

[Zach Amico]

Pit bulls, Puerto Ricans.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Kill all of them.

[Steph D.]

That guy with the dog with no leash, it's 100% his fault.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, 100%. I would have shot the guy.

[Steph D.]

Maybe he should. Maybe he did.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Did it run out of the house or was he walking you without leash?

[Steph D.]

Either way, that's your responsibility.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Well, I'm just saying, if he was walking out a leash, that's 100%. If it escaped, that could have been like a moment of not paying attention.

[Zach Amico]

If it escaped, it's. It's still. You up.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

No, I'm still.

[Zach Amico]

It's not.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Not your fault.

[Zach Amico]

You have a giant beast of a dog.

[Steph D.]

So if your baby crawls in the oven because you weren't looking for a second, I don't think the baby can.

[Zach Amico]

Crawl into the oven because you're just gonna hurt.

[Steph D.]

It's a Jewish baby.

[Zach Amico]

I liked it.

[Steph D.]

There we go.

[Zach Amico]

Come on. The Slavs love that type of humor, don't they?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We do.

[Zach Amico]

I assume the Slavs hate Jews. I know nothing about Yugoslavia. Isn't called Yugoslavia anymore.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. It's now Bosnia, Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro.

[Steph D.]

Yugoslavia for four.

[Zach Amico]

Croatia's Yugoslavia.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Croatia here is nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's my first language. Croatian.

[Zach Amico]

Say something in Croatian. Say the N word in Croatian.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Mountain negro is what? After she left him.

[Zach Amico]

It was a good joke, Zach. Mountainegro. After she left. That was a great bit. We were sort of caught up in a moment. We were waiting for her to say the N word in Croatian, and then you had this great joke, and it just. Whatever it was, the timing did, but it deserved everything because that was the blame on that.

[Steph D.]

I think my fat mouth was moving.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, no, no. That wasn't all of us. Sometimes you do the dance and sometimes you step on each other's toes, and that's gonna happen. So anyway, the N word in Croatian.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I only know how to say black people. It should be.

[Zach Amico]

Can you look. Can you look a little more disgusted while you say, that's fun? Is there an. Shannon, can you look up the N word in Croatian is. What is the. It's probably not actually the N word. It's whatever their version of it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They don't have any black people there. To be clear, there is not a single black person in former Yugoslavia.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I thought you said it's called Croatia. Well, you tell me. It's called Heaven. Let's see. Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Is black.

[Zach Amico]

And what is. Say that word right there. How do you say that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I can't.

[Zach Amico]

How do you say it? Let me hear it.

[Steph D.]

She's gonna ruin her career in Yugoslavia.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, we don't. I don't hear it.

[Steph D.]

You are canceled now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, they said that's okay.

[Zach Amico]

You can say the N word and fucking. I'm gonna. I'm not even bleeping this on the YouTube. That's how. That's how sure I am that. That's not gonna be a problem.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, wait, wait, go to the.

[Zach Amico]

The.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

The. The definition. It has sp, Chalupa, sinchuga.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

According to.

[Zach Amico]

Babich, originally formed as certain. Wait, certain is black. And then juga.

[Steph D.]

Is it the same in Serbian?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's all the same language.

[Steph D.]

You guys got to get your together, become a better country. You guys have a lot in common.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know anything about.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, it's quite literally the same country, like the same people. I mean, I can't say that.

[Steph D.]

What was the problem?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Well, too many problems.

[Zach Amico]

Like, what's the bat. What's the bad part of that area? Is like, they're like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's very Muslim. It's very Muslim. That was what the war was about.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Oh, sanchukas.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I know. I know nothing about that part of the world. I had a friend who was Croatian, who really. She would be like, croatia is the most beautiful place in the world. It is really. Show me the nicest beach in Croatia. I bet you it does not look.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look up Brella. B R E L A. Croatia.

[Zach Amico]

Brella, Croatia. Look that up. I bet it's not as nice as.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're wrong.

[Zach Amico]

Montego Bay, Jamaica.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's better. And there's no. That's all.

[Zach Amico]

There's no Serugas.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You almost have no Montegos.

[Zach Amico]

Montes, yeah. That is nice.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Oh, no, Montego is all bays.

[Zach Amico]

Wow. Is that. That is really nice. That's the Barella beach hotspot. But that's. That's what it's. I mean, first of all, when do you get that there's going to be people there? Is there not?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, it's still not. It's not like that popular people don't go. American just started going in the last 10 years because of Game of Thrones.

[Steph D.]

You can get a Slav girl, right? You can. They. They, like, no, they're gonna buy them. You can buy one. You have. You can bring them over. Like the Ukrainian girls, remember during the war, like, hey, you ever want to be with a Ukrainian girl? Like, they do it for Slavs.

[Zach Amico]

There was like a. You could. That was a real thing. You could buy a chick and make her your wife. That is the way for me to go. I'm trying to meet. If I just bought one, they'd have to just be obedient.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You would buy one with ads. You would get the cheap version.

[Steph D.]

That was good.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude. No, I. You know these. My buddy. I was talking to Crypto west today on the phone as I walked in, and I won't say how much money he made in crypto, but it was a lot. Crypto west is doing well. He's doing really, really well. He told me exactly how much he made, which is the sign that you're an actual crypto, bro. You're willing to share the exact amount of money that you've made.

[Steph D.]

You change it into crypto.

[Zach Amico]

You know, it is. It's tens of millions of dollars. I'll say that much. Crypto west is absolutely crushing it. Right? And he was like. He was like, yeah, it was this hard dude. He was like, I didn't call you yesterday because I was arguing with my girlfriend. And I'm like, how do you argue with somebody who's worth tens of millions of dollars? Just tap it in, you stupid bitch. All you gotta do is be perfect, get him to marry you, and then. Then be an afterwards. It's an insane thing. This is what. This is the way women are. They. They don't even fucking recognize the opportunity in front of them. There's a path to making so much money.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is he gross?

[Zach Amico]

No, he's a guy. Handsome guy. Let me see. Or maybe you tell me. I'll show you a picture.

[Steph D.]

Is It. Because it's too easy. Is that why it gets too easy? Like he's got everything. He's got money, he's got. Look, looks. Where's the drama?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is his personality bad? Is he bad in bed? What were they arguing about?

[Zach Amico]

His name is Crypto West.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What do you think?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's hard. That's a hard one to say. In the bedroom as well. So maybe she was frustrated.

[Zach Amico]

Just him. It's all his kids now. Let's see. Just him. He's a good looking guy. I think he's a good looking guy.

[Steph D.]

Is he one of those. He doesn't wear socks, that kind of guy? Yeah, he's a good looking guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's for. There's a lot of girls that would be into him. Is this ex wife?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, his ex wife.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, is he Eastern European?

[Zach Amico]

No, she's Eastern European. She's got an accent. He put two babies in her and now she's even her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He was like, oh, yeah. Eastern European women are always gonna argue.

[Steph D.]

Is that your.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, hold on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's go through Lewis.

[Zach Amico]

Give me my phone.

[Steph D.]

Whose kid is that next to your cock?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The woman he bought.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon. How much is that boat? How much is the trip? I was gonna say a boat ride. I assume you have to use a boat to get to Croatia. How much is an airplane to go to Croatia? To Brillella.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

And how much are the most expensive? What are the most expensive nationalities of woman to buy?

[Zach Amico]

Ooh, that's a great, great question. So first look me up flights to Croatia, because that beach looked fucking sick. I gotta be honest with you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jewish eggs are the most expensive. Like if you're gonna buy eggs from a woman.

[Steph D.]

Jewish eggs?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They're made of gold.

[Steph D.]

I didn't know that Jews came from eggs.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Jews, they hatch from a Faberge egg.

[Steph D.]

They hatch.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

No, they're the plastic eggs with dollars in them from Easter.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Bricks in the racist live chat. Just keeps on posting bikini phono photos of Steph from. I'm assuming that these are public domain.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That I have bikini photos that I've posted.

[Steph D.]

Could be revenge porn or that people have pulled.

[Zach Amico]

It's in the chat.

[Shannon]

So flight. Flights are about 900ish.

[Zach Amico]

900 with.

[Shannon]

With one stop with one star.

[Zach Amico]

There's no direct flights there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There is. There is to Dubrovnik.

[Shannon]

Oh, it told me. It told me to go to Split.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a split?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Where's where? And then how far is Brella from the airport?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You drive like two hours.

[Steph D.]

But is that 900 both ways or one way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's round trip. Round trip in the summer.

[Zach Amico]

Anthony doesn't travel beyond to Rochester.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go past Rochester in the summer. It's like two grand. It can be.

[Zach Amico]

What's the weather like right now?

[Steph D.]

Is it cold in Rochester? Yeah, it's pretty cold.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. No, that. That's why it's cheap. Nobody's going to Brella now.

[Steph D.]

That's not bad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you gotta go June or September.

[Steph D.]

Is that Celsius or Fahrenheit? Because that could be Fahrenheit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Celsius. That would be. I mean, it'd be burning negative five. You're still wrong.

[Steph D.]

Oh, I just.

[Zach Amico]

So yeah. Shannon, how do we buy us a wife and not. Not a child bride, but as close to. As close to it as possible. You want her to grow into like.

[Steph D.]

You know, put that in parentheses when you look it up.

[Zach Amico]

Not a child bride. We're talking about like 18 year old toit. Eastern European.

[Steph D.]

Yeah, 18.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My cousins.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, Are they up? Are they up for sale?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Probably.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe there's. Everyone's got a price.

[Steph D.]

How bad do they want to get into this country?

[Shannon]

I found Croatian bride's website.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, this is. This is legal. This isn't even dark web, Shannon.

[Shannon]

No, It's a. It's rosebrides.com and it's Croatian Brides.

[Steph D.]

Dark black spider.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on.

[Shannon]

Who maybe old.

[Zach Amico]

Who the is buying this? What are they going to pay me? This is insane.

[Steph D.]

Is that one of the chick's moms?

[Zach Amico]

Hold on. Let's see.

[Shannon]

25. 225 year olds.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's see the 25 year old. She's also just not that attractive.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The first one.

[Shannon]

The second one, that's like a used.

[Zach Amico]

I think the second one's harder. We go to the first one for now. Let's click on her. She have braces? All right, Zach's back in. If she's got braces. They didn't say.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, yeah, listen. Buying a ethnicity.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Latino. Hispanic.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Do they have a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So she's not Croatian.

[Zach Amico]

They have Puerto Ricans in Croatia.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, that's.

[Zach Amico]

No, the broker is Croatian. This is. This is a Croatian slave driver. Sex slave.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where body type 4 figured.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

It also says hair blonde. So they're. They're just making up from Venezuela.

[Zach Amico]

She's from. When is it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's seeking a man who's 24 to 7.

[Zach Amico]

All right. No, no, we got a quick search. I am a man seeking a woman ages 18 to 19.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, let's say 23.

[Steph D.]

Don't be gross.

[Zach Amico]

And From.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Ooh, Croatia.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Croatia's not even in there.

[Zach Amico]

Just go any country. That's fine. So this is just a Croatian website. No, go to any. No, no, no. Go to Hit any country and see. Okay, here we go. Dionis. Look at the honest. She's pretty. She's from Cuba. £126, 5 foot 7.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cancer.

[Zach Amico]

She has cancer. That's okay. She would die soon.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Never mind.

[Zach Amico]

Let's click on her bond. Click on it.

[Shannon]

Well, it's making me. It's making me sign in to look at more pictures.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, sign in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, why are you guys pretending like this is the first time you've been on this website?

[Zach Amico]

This is fucking. I did not know that. And what happens here? They marry you for their green card? Is that what the. The deal is?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Steph D.]

They marry you for citizenship, not your green card.

[Zach Amico]

Well, say whatever it is.

[Steph D.]

Well, citizenship is. You're in. You're. You're. You're good.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Go back. I want to pick one. Go down.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, go down. We're not picking just one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, the blonde one. Valera from Ukraine. She's.

[Zach Amico]

She.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And she's desperate to get out.

[Zach Amico]

That is not a real picture.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That's Margot Robbie.

[Zach Amico]

That's literally Margot Robbie.

[Steph D.]

That's Margot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pretty.

[Zach Amico]

She's. She's pretty. Perfect.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That was good.

[Steph D.]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, there's a report abuse button. I'm going to get in trouble on this website.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's really pretty.

[Zach Amico]

Slender.

[Steph D.]

Oh, Valera. Valera.

[Zach Amico]

Valeria.

[Steph D.]

Val.

[Zach Amico]

I take Valyrian root to go to sleep at night.

[Steph D.]

Nice.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's really pretty.

[Zach Amico]

There's no way she's real.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She could get out. Being a model, she does not need.

[Zach Amico]

She's. There's no way that that is real. Look at this thumb face right here. Daria177 do. That is real.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That girl comes to Legion of Skanks every week.

[Zach Amico]

This.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I gotta hug this girl at the bar of the stand every other week.

[Zach Amico]

This is. This is from Moscow. She wants a man 22 to 30. I mean, come on. What is she. What is she even thinking here? What? Shannon, do me a favor. Do some research. Bring it off screen. What. What is the deal here? Because maybe this is my route to finally finding love.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

This is just purchase.

[Zach Amico]

Purchase a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A sex slave, throw money at the problem.

[Zach Amico]

It's not a bad deal. And how much money do these brides cost?

[Steph D.]

20 grand.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe that's it.

[Steph D.]

Maybe 20.

[Zach Amico]

You get to own them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Well, you just do marry them.

[Zach Amico]

But you. If I'm paying, if I'm paying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She could still divorce you though.

[Zach Amico]

After a certain amount of time. She's trying to get citizenship.

[Steph D.]

Right.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah. You gotta have a prenup.

[Shannon]

So on this, on this website, you're not actually paying something. This is more of like a.

[Zach Amico]

This is the bumble of sex slaves.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Matchmaking, but internationally it's like creating 90 day fantasies.

[Zach Amico]

No, I want to just buy one. I don't, I don't want to deal with anything. I want to know. It's like, you know when they say, you know, I don't want to adopt a dog for my son, I'm going to go to a fucking breeder. I'm going to buy a purebred dog. Good temperament. That's that. Bring it home. Train it how I want to train it, you know, they'll probably have the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Science for you to like make your own. Build a wife soon.

[Zach Amico]

I hope so.

[Steph D.]

You need a broker. Make sure it gets, it gets all.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna be broker once I buy her.

[Steph D.]

Booyah.

[Zach Amico]

Come on folks, I'm the broker. Nose. Steph, don't make a face at my bad joke. She went.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys just really, you guys like really like wordplay here?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sweet.

[Zach Amico]

We like to be punny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And by sweet I do mean gay.

[Zach Amico]

We like to be a little gay and punny and racist. Racist puns. If we could find.

[Steph D.]

Right. Anything that ends in er, it's usually. Yeah, we work it in.

[Zach Amico]

Yep. Okay. Let's take a moment and thank smallbatch cigar.com for supporting today's show. We love small batch cigar. They give you cigars delivered right to your door in small batches. All of the brands you know and love and a lot of brands you maybe don't know of because they have everything boutique level, quality service. You're going to discover a bunch of amazing new products if you go to their new section on the website. Genuinely an incredible place to go get tobacco online and get it shipped right to your door.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That's right. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited and hard to find cigars. There's free shipping on every order and almost every order arrives within two to three days. Within the continental United States. They come with a boveda pack. So that's 69 humidity with every purchase. So your cigars arrive super, super fresh and it's the most thorough packaging in the industry. Not only that, you get. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

No, I was gonna say I've ordered cigars online before and when they show up, they get, they, they show up dry as hell. They lost you don't want that. Okay. You. You. This is literally a humid. They're. They're being shipped with a humidifier, essentially. Those Movita packs are absolutely incredible, huh?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

And you get 5% rewards points instantly just by making a purchase. Lewis, what should people do?

[Zach Amico]

Just go to smallbatch cigar.com and when you get there, use the promo code GAS10. You are going to save 10 off your whole order plus those 5% rewards points as well. I mean, what is there not to love? Get a discount, have it going right to your door. You don't have to be a cigar aficionado. This is a great thing to have in your house. If you have friends coming over, you offer them a bat, right? Offer them a cigar. They're gonna be like, holy, this is some classy. It's like having a bottle of wine in your house, right? Go there right now, grab some cigars on small batch cigar and use that promo code GAS10 to let them know that the Lewis and Zach show sent you for 10 off and 5% rewards points. All right, where were we? All right. So, Zach, what is this story you brought us? Zach rarely brings stories to the show. I'm not. That's not a knock on you. I'm just saying you trust. You trust me as the leader of the show and you trust the process, which I appreciate. You always create funny, but if Zach's bringing a story to the show, I know that it's going to be a good one.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I forgot what I sent.

[Zach Amico]

Child traumatized at Christmas.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Oh, yeah. I wanted your pitch. So I've been hearing a lot of parents bitch about the Elf on the shelf. And I saw a video that I will be honest, I laughed at for the first minute.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on. Crackpot whisper in the racist live chat said if this bitch called me gay to my face, I'd break that fucking nose in three places. Just so you know, Stephanie, dad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Text me back.

[Zach Amico]

Crackpot threatened violence on my behalf, which was very nice. I appreciate that, Crackpot, but don't threaten to hurt me.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

We don't hurt women here.

[Zach Amico]

Sorry.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I watched the first. I laughed at the first two minutes. And at a certain point I went, oh, boy. This is child abuse. And it's one of those things where the parent uploaded it and I gotta say, I think this is fucked up.

[Zach Amico]

This is abuse. So it's. Is it? You said it's an elf on the shelf thing.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

An elf on the shelf. We're a little late, but let me know your thoughts.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see, let's see. When Your elf loses looses, dumbass.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Well, I think you're gonna learn everything about this.

[Zach Amico]

Are these black Slavs?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You're gonna learn everything you need to know about this in the first five seconds also.

[Zach Amico]

Pause it. Yamanika commented, yo the chicken bones. I cannot. I love Yamanika.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

She's talking about things she can't digest. This bucket tastes weird.

[Steph D.]

So is a. So is a black elf on the shelf considered a mounted negro.

[Zach Amico]

Huh?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

J. Marley.

[Zach Amico]

My Christmas magic.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What happened? It says, dear Marley, my Christmas magic faded away.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Should have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Should have listened to your mom.

[Shannon]

What?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Then she put chicken bones in the shape of an elf's corpse.

[Steph D.]

Now where would. Where would that family find chicken bones? That's my only question.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Well, she threw them on the plate like that to tell the future. And they looked like a body.

[Zach Amico]

I've seen people do this before.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I've seen them seen this too.

[Zach Amico]

I've never seen the video reacting to it. You know what's funny? As you say this, maybe three years ago on Legion of Skanks, we were going to do a bit and Dave. Dave Smith put the kibosh on this one. Okay, sister for office. Yeah, no, he. Because he's just, you know, he's. He's a good dad. Whatever. And the bit was going to be the most up. Way to kill your elf on a shelf in front of your kids. And was inspired by this. And I've never seen a video of anybody doing it.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah. And okay. And now I will admit up to this point in the video, I'm laughing. Then there will be a thing she says that made me really laugh. But then it does take a turn where you're like, oh, this is like really?

[Zach Amico]

This kid up right blue J okers in the race. Live chest says, still no dad in the video. Solid comment.

[Steph D.]

Maybe he's out getting Christmas presents.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I actually both can't do anything.

[Steph D.]

A.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How dumb.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Not the Mori Run.

[Zach Amico]

Got me. No. Give me another chance. It's a nice house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get another chance. Love you. This kid has autism.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Okay, pause. It was. At this point, I'm like, I think this kid's a little.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This kid has full autism.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Cuz she's a little old, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Already she thought the elf was dead. That's like already like there's something deeply.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Wrong she had for dinner last.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But she's also stimming out doy.

[Zach Amico]

My son believed. I mean, literally until we told him when he was going to middle school. We told him Xana's not real.

[Steph D.]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

And that was just like a year ago. He believed. This kid believed that this elf came to life at night and watched him and moved around. My niece, she's a little evil. So I don't know if she. I think she's playing her mom. I think my. My niece is just smarter than my sister. So I don't really believe that my niece. My son legitimately believes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't know.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Did he ask my mom? Garbage is always full of elf bumps.

[Zach Amico]

No kids believe elf on the shelf is a real.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So we didn't have a game. You played with your parents? I didn't know.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

They thought it was that they're not allowed. If they touch them, they lose their magic. Right.

[Zach Amico]

If they touch that, you can't touch them. They get sick. They get sick if you. That's why the kids can't touch him. But every morning you wake up and the elf is doing something new. You could have a naughty elf. You could have a nice elf. You know, my. I. My. My elf at my house was naughty because I'm fun. Fun. I'm a fun dad. It kids. It. It's racist. It's a really. It's a princess Alpha's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You made it in your image.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

It calls in bomb threats to synagogues. Naughty elf.

[Zach Amico]

No, like, you know, toilet paper is the Christmas tree.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or it'll like draw drives into Christmas markets.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Crashes the Audi piece of. So. No, but it's. Yeah, it does like, you know, naughty things. It'll fucking. You know, it breaks eggs on the floor. You know, that's what my up. Because I'm fun. I'm a fun dad. My elf, which was a girl elf, by the way.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Sprinkles.

[Zach Amico]

Sprinkles the girl. She's a female. Office. All I could find. Oh, it made me mad. Oh, I was not happy having to buy a female elf. That was a gayest thing I've ever done.

[Steph D.]

But why? What's the difference?

[Zach Amico]

It was a female elf. We wanted a boy elf. That's the truth. But my son's mother, because she's a boring. No offense. B, you're great. His elf would just show up and like be in a new position every day. That was like a nice elf. But it's like. Yeah, the kids want to have fun with it. You want. There's different things. There's all these different things. And my algorithm turned all during the holidays. I see all the fun things.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I mean, there is an amount of psychological warfare happening with Mom's elf. Is nice Dad's elf is evil.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, 100. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have a hard time believing any kid believes in this. Past the age of four, I had.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

A friend who had a special needs daughter who was. Was hardcore into the elf. And she kept trying to take it to school to prove to people that it was real. So I think this kid might be a little.

[Zach Amico]

My son does not have special needs.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I didn't say he was.

[Zach Amico]

No, she.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

She was older than James is now.

[Zach Amico]

My. My son was. He believed in Santa and believed in the magic of Christmas up until we told him that it wasn't real. We did a great job. When I would draw my Christmas gifts from Santa, I use a different handwriting, different color marker, different I. A different wrapping paper. Like, I. We really kept the magic alive for this little boy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So why did you reveal it to him?

[Zach Amico]

Because we didn't want people to call him gay in middle school, you know?

[Steph D.]

Well, again, I think the elf on the shelf was made to make them feel like somebody was watching them all the time.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, it's like very Gestapo y. Yeah.

[Steph D.]

Well, you kind of like. Because again, you wouldn't have that growing up. Right. Your mother wouldn't be like, we didn't have any.

[Zach Amico]

They had actual elves in that part of the world.

[Steph D.]

The government is watching you. Don't worry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There is no Santa Claus.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

They just had a town midget.

[Steph D.]

This is Borgo. He will. He will kill you in the night.

[Zach Amico]

If you are bad.

[Steph D.]

He always watching you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You are to marry him.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

This is Borgo. He shines shoes for nickel. He will be your husband.

[Steph D.]

He's chronic masturbator. If you go to sleep and you do something bad, he will come all over you.

[Zach Amico]

We give you one lawful of bread for Christmas. You'll be grateful.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My mom would tell me that she would get loaves of bread for Christmas.

[Zach Amico]

I bet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Real.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I know that part of the world.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or like two grapes.

[Zach Amico]

That's what we would hear when we were kids. We would hear about that part of the world. It's like, do they have to wait in line for days for hard old.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Two grapes and bread? I do my Borgo impression. Look, I am Borgo.

[Zach Amico]

What is. What is Christmas in Croatia like? Is it more magical? Is there reindeer that walk around?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, when my mom was raised, it was.

[Zach Amico]

Was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was communist Yugoslavia. Religion wasn't allowed, so there was no.

[Zach Amico]

No religion was allowed at all in communism. No religion and communism.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Communism is fully secular.

[Zach Amico]

No. Yeah, yeah. No.

[Steph D.]

The state is.

[Zach Amico]

No. You don't know anything.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Was there any more of that Little girl freaking out or is that the end?

[Zach Amico]

I feel bad. I feel bad. Let me see. Jesus Christ.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

This is brutal, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Let me see.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I want you to come here every day.

[Zach Amico]

I love how her mom's roasting her in the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Mom's so ghetto.

[Steph D.]

Just like she's doing, like, online twerking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

On her mom's, like, doing a World Star thing on her dog.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah. So now some people think the girl's faking it. Look, she kept running to the mirror to make sure the tears were coming out. I think this might be a special needs kid.

[Steph D.]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she was. She was. She was stimming. She was, like, bouncing up and down. Go ahead.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

At least you just got. See, it looks like a Holocaust victim. It's so sad.

[Zach Amico]

Wait until the end. Was at the end.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, that was it.

[Steph D.]

There's some. There's a lot of online videos where parents are these kids up. Like, there's ones where they. They get this big box for Christmas. They open it up, they think it's a PS5. They see the PS5 box, they open that up, and it's like a note that says, you were bad.

[Zach Amico]

No. Yeah.

[Steph D.]

Like, that's wild. Yeah. And there's also ones where like, the little. The little baby with the little cactus, when you say something, the cactus says it back to you and scares the out. Terrifies them. Terrif them.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, but that's just funny.

[Zach Amico]

These need to be stopped.

[Steph D.]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's Slavic parenting.

[Zach Amico]

Really. Yeah. That is. That is wild. I feel bad for that little girl, but it is delightfully funny. I will say it's.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

It's very funny.

[Zach Amico]

But it did feel, especially because it's just not real. I mean, as long as she told her the truth at the end, she was like, maybe this is the way to reveal that Santa's not real.

[Steph D.]

Maybe.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe. I don't know, kick her while she's down. And just so you know, none of this is even real bad news.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Worse news, there's no Santa and we're out of chicken.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're going to bed hungry.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

No dinner.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, let's do some plugs right quick. We're rolling. 45 minutes into the show, we're barely touched these notes. That's a sign of a good show, folks.

[Steph D.]

I believe that.

[Zach Amico]

Steph, how hot is it when guys air guitar?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why are you doing that with your tongue as well?

[Zach Amico]

That's how you have to air guitar. You have to. You don't know what a guitar player is like. That's a hot part.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And the glasses, too.

[Zach Amico]

Glasses are Cool.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're not cool.

[Zach Amico]

People love the glasses. Racist. Live chat. Let me know how you feel about the glasses. We're gonna get into that in a second, but, Seth, what are you plugging?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Indianapolis. I'm at helium comedy club January 17th to 19th. It's on my Punch Up Live.

[Zach Amico]

On our Punch Up Live. What's going on, Zen? What are you plugging in, my friend?

[Steph D.]

I got a special coming up. I'm taping that. Laugh it Up. Amazing, Kipsy. Yeah, it's going to be a great night. January 18th, Leticia. I'm going to be with all my people. So if you're there, come on out.

[Zach Amico]

It's called Leticia.

[Steph D.]

It's called Leticia.

[Zach Amico]

Is it after the woman in that video?

[Steph D.]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Steph D.]

It is. Laugh it up.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Let's teach you a lesson about Christmas.

[Steph D.]

Well, Yaman Yamanika inspired me. I wanted to call it White. I'm not going to do that.

[Zach Amico]

She already took the name.

[Steph D.]

Yeah. I'm going to call Leticia Zach Amico.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Hey, if you're listening live this Saturday, I'm at the Museum of Moving image at 6pm with my new movie, Bring on the Damned. And then I Got Juggalo weekend, February 14th and 15th in Worcester, Massachusetts. Come hang out.

[Zach Amico]

Live dates coming up. Go to my website. While you're there, sign up for my mailing list. I have my own Punch Up Live. I'm not one of these. Who needs somebody else to run my mailing list? I got my my own mailing list. And if you join my mailing list, you get a bonus podcast, the Lewis Journal Podcast. Every week, exclusively for subscribers. The only way to get it in the world is to join that mailing list. Plus, I have a newsletter that comes out every week. All the news about Gas, Digital, Skang Fest, all that world. I'm announcing the venue this Friday on the mailing list. So you guys are gonna get some inside information before anybody else does. Just go to LewisOfSkangs.com for all of those fun things. But come see me on the road as well tomorrow if you're listening live. I'll be in Columbus. Comedy Attic, Columbus, Ohio. Early show is just about sold out. Get those tickets to the Late show because it's gonna be light. And this weekend I'm at Zany's Rosemont, right outside of Chicago. Come get those tickets. Gonna be a blast. And then next weekend, I'm going to Canada. Canada. By the way, Canada. They love me. I sell more tickets in Canada. They sell in the States. I might just become A Canadian touring comedian. They rock. Going to Noquay, Ontario next Thursday. On the 16th, the 17th and 18th I'll be in Montreal. And on Sunday the 19th I'll be in Ottawa. That show is just about sold out as well. I may add a second show we'll see the following weekend. North Charleston, South Carolina, Naples, Florida at Off the Hook Comedy Club Rumors, Winnipeg the weekend after that. And then I just added Salt Lake City, Utah for February as well. Which I'm very excited about that St. Catherine's coming up in February. Lots of fun stuff coming up in February. The Bring Fire Friends tour. Maybe the name's working. Maybe that's what's happening. I have people tell me they're bringing friends. So bring some friends out, come party. Don't worry about people are like dude, I can't bring my girlfriend, she's gonna hate you. And my stand up is not like this, okay? It's nowhere near as edge. Lordy.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You should set up, apologize to your friend after party.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's a fun idea. Either way, go to louisofskangs.com grab those tickets. Check out all my other podcasts, the regs. Brand new regs coming out tonight. Great show, maybe the best one we've ever done. Story Wars, America's new favorite game show. And obviously the legendary Legion of Skanks. And you guys should know I am filming my next special on July 12th in Tampa, Florida. Tickets are going fast. Almost sold out already. We're still six months out. I'm so excited. Me and Bobby Kelly working on it. I'm actually the production company is sending me a teaser for what they do so I think we have the production company locked and loaded. So come out. Grab those tickets for Tampa side Splitters. The great Zach Amicle will be with me on those shows as well. And yeah, thank you guys for being the baddest asses fan. Uhoh, thanks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can I have water?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If anyone's listening in ether, Shannon, help me like twice if you're still there. Shannon, no water.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, do not get her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not Shannon's water. Cuz hers is roofies in it.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, don't get her water until I say to get her water.

[Steph D.]

Didn't you get water?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Two grapes and water.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, get her some water, Shannon. Obviously she didn't get up until I said that though. Let it be known Shannon, thank you. You were gonna disrespect me and get her water after I said not to. Also take another coffee please.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't do it.

[Shannon]

There's no way to know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't do it because I gave it.

[Shannon]

To her just at the right time.

[Zach Amico]

Well, Shannon, you have the water in your hand in a full cup.

[Shannon]

I'm fast.

[Zach Amico]

No, you're not that fast.

[Shannon]

I'm a bartender. I'm sorry.

[Zach Amico]

That Ozempic's really working. How's the Oz epic feeling today, Shannon?

[Shannon]

So I. I only. I took the shot on Friday and it's a very low dose. So I feel like when I get. When I take my second shot is when I'm going to really should be a problem.

[Zach Amico]

Yesterday we. We did our pre tape for Friday show and we didn't get to talk about it afterwards, but we. We ordered. I'm salivating. I just. As soon as the word. The. The. The word came into my head, my mouth started salivating.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

We ordered cheesy gay prostitute.

[Zach Amico]

We ordered cheesy bread from Domino's Stuffed cheesy bread. Doggy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So good.

[Zach Amico]

It was. I literally had to leave. I. I had to leave. I wanted to have one piece. I had three pieces. And I was like, I have to get out of here. Because I would have just kept on eating it. It's so good.

[Steph D.]

It's gonna look like train spotting in here with those Ozempic needles.

[Zach Amico]

I'm telling you.

[Steph D.]

Tying each other off, eating cheesy bread.

[Zach Amico]

You had none of the cheesy bread.

[Shannon]

I didn't. I had a salad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Does Ozempic make you not hungry?

[Shannon]

Yeah, well, that. That's the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what it's.

[Steph D.]

Are you a diabetic?

[Shannon]

Not yet. Maybe after I take it.

[Zach Amico]

Asperger. Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can anyone get it?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I can tell. Well, you obviously don't need it, but you could just get it from a website.

[Zach Amico]

Karen rules. We're bringing Karen to Jamaica with us this year. She's gonna start working. She's gonna start working on the villa.

[Steph D.]

Karen with a Y lover.

[Zach Amico]

Karen, can you cook Jamaican food? Probably.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

She said she knows nothing about Jamaican culture.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing about drinking culture.

[Steph D.]

I make rice and peas.

[Zach Amico]

She's an accent.

[Steph D.]

Rice and red peas.

[Zach Amico]

So I can't wait. Wait for the Jamaica trip. But yeah. Aspersion Caster says getting dominoes in New York is crazy. It is.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

My underpants have a red stripe in the front.

[Zach Amico]

I like it. And she quit and she's gone. Hooray. Beer McDomino sucks. Obviously nobody is eating Domino's Pizza, but cheesy bread is a very specific thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I like Domino's Pizza.

[Zach Amico]

Stop it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love Domino. Especially cold the next morning.

[Zach Amico]

Stop it. Just stop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was my Christmas gifts growing Up Domino's pizza.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Do you really like Domino's?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love Domino's. I would rather Domino's than a thin slice pizza.

[Zach Amico]

That's bothering me.

[Steph D.]

You have an emotional attachment to it, though. That's why.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's like watching friends.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, take her water away from her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Please, and bring me Domino's.

[Steph D.]

Losing friends.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you can't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys don't like Domino's pizza. What are you talking about?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Do you think it's because in your head it sounds like dominant nose.

[Steph D.]

Wow. Wow. Holy.

[Zach Amico]

The kid's good. That was insane. Oh, I'm done.

[Steph D.]

I quit. I give up.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. That's great.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Zach being mean to women. The more things change.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, I thought you were the next nice one.

[Zach Amico]

I am.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's an actual whole nice conversation out there.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, but dude, cheesy bread, it's. We got it with the, the garlic dipping sauce and the marinara.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That's did not skimp on the sauces.

[Zach Amico]

They sent us a whole bag of sauces, dude. And it was just so good. I, I, I thought about it maybe a hundred times. Since then, I keep on going back to it. I loved it. It's a problem. It is a goddamn problem.

[Steph D.]

Yeah. But then, like, how, how, how many times will you get it after that, though?

[Zach Amico]

I'm never gonna order it again because I, if I have it in my presence, I can't stop eating it. I had to. I left. I was like, I can't stand here anymore. I have to go outside.

[Steph D.]

So you just enjoy for that? I mean, again, it's one of those.

[Zach Amico]

Things once a fiscal quarter, but it's bumming me out. I want it again. Right now. I'm thinking about ordering it. Shannon. I'm thinking about ordering it.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I really wanted to order it when I got home, but I was a good boy.

[Zach Amico]

It's. So we ordered order three of them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What about the pasta bowls at Domino's?

[Zach Amico]

You're pissing me off today. You need to stop. Nobody's ordering a pasta.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're so good.

[Zach Amico]

You're out of your sculpeys.

[Steph D.]

See, I would imagine you would have, like, really expensive taste. When I look at you, I'm like, she, she has to be taken out to a nice Italian restaurant. No, you're like Olive Garden. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, I love Olive Garden.

[Zach Amico]

Are you trash?

[Steph D.]

She is trash.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What do you mean? I grew up like, like poor.

[Zach Amico]

You grew up poor?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Now I just visually look like I should be taken to somewhere like, austere.

[Steph D.]

You'll steer.

[Zach Amico]

Never even heard what. That. I've never heard that word before.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Exactly.

[Zach Amico]

Austere.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I love trashy stuff. I'm from New Jersey. I'm from, like, an opioid town.

[Steph D.]

Right. But you should know better then, though, like, pizza.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why I'm on this podcast. In what way would I know better? I volunteered to be here.

[Steph D.]

You never had.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sure, because you hang out with, like, comics that are, like, they're not. They're great. They're funny. But I'm saying, they're like. They're like, you know, hot and ficier little crew of friends that you guys hang out with. All of them are like, don't go on that podcast. Right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everyone told me to stay away.

[Zach Amico]

Stay away completely.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, you don't want to get in the rattlesnakes. Yeah. I was gonna say web, because I don't know what clutches nest habitat. The snake pit. Don't get in the snake pit. Is. It's a bad idea. What do they warn you? What do they say? Say. They said, don't say who said what.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But just that I'm gonna say something bad. These are bad guys.

[Zach Amico]

They're bad guys, you know?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I have a bad dad, so.

[Zach Amico]

There we go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Feels familiar.

[Zach Amico]

Now we're figuring it all out here.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

And by the way, we say crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

But I will attest, Lewis is one of the sweetest guys I know. And I like to think I'm a bit of a sweetheart, too.

[Zach Amico]

Zach's trying to double team.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

No, I'm just saying we're very. Were very.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You just told me I had a dominant nose.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, but. Sorry, I've. I. I'm gonna put in my nose after this.

[Steph D.]

No, his heart's really made of 90 sugar.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That's a diagnosis. I'm a. I'm a sweetheart.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So you grew up trash.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, I mean, I grew up fine, but at. Yeah, kind of.

[Steph D.]

You don't expect.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My mom is from Eastern Europe.

[Zach Amico]

We don't know what that.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Like.

[Zach Amico]

Like, that's not a thing that we don't know. Eastern Europeans.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's like, almost like new money, but we never got the money to be new money. But, like, my mom will buy, like, fake bags on the street and be like, they call that.

[Zach Amico]

They call that sanuga rich. Thank you.

[Steph D.]

You should push a button for that one.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I'll give myself. I'll give myself a rattlesnake.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You're like, I cross the street when I see a nougat coming down, you.

[Zach Amico]

Know, King gizzard and the Wizard Lizard. They have sent me multiple cease and desist to not use that drop on this show. And I am not afraid of the King Gizzard and the Lizard wizard lawyers. Just so they know.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

King Gizzard and the Wizard Lawyers.

[Zach Amico]

All right, none of that's true. They never sent me a cease and desist. But I wish they would. How cool would that be if I was that relevant? It.

[Steph D.]

I never heard of them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

King Gizzard, I thought you made that's.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Who does the Rattlesnake song.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's who does that song. Oh, put on the rattlesnake video.

[Steph D.]

I thought that was, like, in house stuff.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I thought.

[Zach Amico]

No, all the other ones, we. We copied it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Surely someone who works here made that.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's the original one that we have. Like, we have a Shannon snake.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon Snake. Shannon Snake.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon Snake. Shannon Snake. We got a chattel snake when the chat says something funny. Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Trick pony this whole show.

[Zach Amico]

Are you kidding me? Got lots of buttons here. Okay? In fact, you know what?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

These glasses.

[Zach Amico]

Don't disrespect me, Steph.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

She missed the choreography, which is the problem. We have choreography. You don't even know how cool we are.

[Steph D.]

First time, and she's taking it on the chin like it's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's my second time, actually. But the first time I blocked out. Cuz they talked about Joe Rogan. Rogan the whole time, which is sexual assault.

[Zach Amico]

What do we say? What do we say about.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys are talking about Joe Rogan and Tony Hinchcliffe for 30 minutes, and I disassociated from my body.

[Zach Amico]

I'm trying to make it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hate it.

[Zach Amico]

I did. I did trash Austin today on Twitter. And I know that. I know Tony's gonna send me a text message like, you can't say that about Austin. You love Austin. I'm just kidding, Tony. But there's wildfires in California right now again. So I was like, thank you, God. Please, Austin next. Which would be funny if the mothership burned down. It would be pretty hilarious. He's rich enough to have another mothership like that, right? He's nothing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You build a bigger and stronger stepmothership.

[Steph D.]

Why are you step mothership. Why are you trashing Austin?

[Zach Amico]

I just like to get under Tony's skin.

[Steph D.]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He's like. He's like, but you love it here. Every time you come, we have fun. And I'm like, tony, I'm just around. I do think Austin's. Austin's my second favorite city to do comedy, actually. It's my first favorite city to do comedy. And I gotta be honest with you, you, New York sucks dick to do comedy in. Yeah, it really does.

[Steph D.]

It used to be the place.

[Zach Amico]

It used to be the place, but all the audiences here suck.

[Steph D.]

I think you still have to be here, though. In the beginning, it's all chicks.

[Zach Amico]

It's all chicks in the audience. And I look out.

[Steph D.]

I'm like, the bookers are all.

[Zach Amico]

They're all rapists.

[Steph D.]

Fat chicks.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, they're fat chicks. Oh, no. I thought you're going to say rapists.

[Steph D.]

No.

[Zach Amico]

There's an energy in New York. The owners of the comedy clubs think that they're important. Important. It's a very funny thing. All of them. They all sit there and they're like, look what I did. You're like, you're. It's a microphone, you mooks. In your mind, it's a badass.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where you don't think the owners think they're important.

[Zach Amico]

No, I. To be honest with you, I don't. I really don't. Like. I mean, it's a different energy. Like, Rebecca is, like. She's genuinely trying to cultivate great comedy. Rogan's not sitting at the bar being like, look what I built. Rogan's counting his money and hunting elk or whatever the he's doing. Yeah, it's a different energy. Like, the owners here, they sit. Like, every one of them is. I'm not trashing anyone. I know. I said dumb mooc. You guys are thinking the stand. This is all of them. It's an overarching thing with every single one of the owners, the seller, Eastville, Stan, New York guys back in the day. I think the New York comedy club guys are actually pretty cool. Emilio and what's his name, Scott. I think those are the only ones who sort of do it right.

[Steph D.]

I think Austin is more of, like, a comic for comic Town. Like, it feels like they're. They're more comedians running things, but there's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

More people who have been doing it for four years, and they think they're so.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't say it's a better comedy scene. We have a better comedy. We have way better comics. Yeah, we're like a hundred. Like, if you go to Austin, there's 12 good guys, and then everyone else is just trying to figure it out. New York has, like 150, 200 actually great comics, like, really good comics, and then there's a couple thousand comics that are trying to figure it out, and that's fine. You know what I'M saying. But Carlson is like, mostly people that are trying to get on Kill, Tony. Mostly people that are trying to fucking do whatever their thing is. And they have. They have a handful of really good comics, but, yeah, unquestionably, New York's the better comedy scene. I'm saying the actual clubs, the audiences here suck. The owners of comedy clubs here suck, for the most part. And the guys from the stand, they don't suck. We made our pieces.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And comedy clubs here in Manhattan are.

[Zach Amico]

Fine because you're a fucking hot chick, so they like you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's so not true.

[Zach Amico]

I bomb in front of hot chicks. Hot chicks do, actually. No, bring five friends. Bring five hot girls. Girls I don't bomb.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm more likely to bomb for being a hot girl than you are. People are going to assume I'm not funny.

[Zach Amico]

No, you're. That's retarded. Because when you're funny, they're like, oh, look at that. For me, they're like, this guy's gonna be a beast. Look at him, dude. He's a monster. He's old. He's a guy. There's no way he's not funny. They said that. The expectation so high for you. They're like, oh, look, she's got blonde hair. Or, you know, she's tall. All they're like, this is not gonna. This is gonna be terrible. And then when you. All you got to do is just tap it in one little cute joke, everyone's falling out of their chairs. It's a way different thing. I can't imagine being a white guy.

[Steph D.]

I don't. Yeah, I don't know what it's like being a white guy either.

[Zach Amico]

That'd be wild, dude. Being a white guy, it's. You gotta be.

[Steph D.]

You're not a white guy anymore.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta be so good. Why? I. I identify as white, but I. I don't present as white.

[Steph D.]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

I present as brown.

[Steph D.]

But you don't do brown material. Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He doesn't do material.

[Zach Amico]

I'll give you some material. That was very rapey. I apologize. I'm not a rapist.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I'll give you some brown.

[Steph D.]

Where my Dominicans at? Where my Puerto Ricans?

[Zach Amico]

I wish I could do that, too.

[Steph D.]

You should. You have. You have the.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I. I saw it happen once.

[Steph D.]

You did that?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

What did I do once?

[Zach Amico]

Tell me.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

When we were in the club in North Hollywood, all Latinos, all of Louis.

[Zach Amico]

It was 100. It was. It was like, all right, 10% Armenians.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

No, it was a Mexican.

[Zach Amico]

90 Mexicans, 10 Armenians.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

But all Of Lewis's I'm Puerto Rican jokes. And he wasn't pandering. I think he just wasn't sure if they would get it right. Became. I'm Latino.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

And I. I saw Lewis.

[Zach Amico]

Don't you hate when you got a rape as a Latino?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I saw. I saw Latin American Lewis that night.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, I'll get a little urban. If I'm in a black room, my voice gets a little urban. What are they. What do they call that when you.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Code matching, code match switching, fluffy audience puppet pandering.

[Zach Amico]

No, I'll get. Because. But I was also pander.

[Steph D.]

Bear pander.

[Zach Amico]

I was also raised.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That's a Gary Goman term.

[Zach Amico]

I was raised in. In the hood. I. So I. There was a time in my life where I would say unironically.

[Steph D.]

Right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

As opposed to now.

[Zach Amico]

Now I say it racially.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Hilariously.

[Zach Amico]

No, but I would like me and friends. I wear boss jeans and me and my buddy Mike Guerrero, Paulina, Hilario. God rest his soul.

[Steph D.]

Yeah, but that was. This also the style in the 90s growing up, we. Everybody was cross colors and. And, you know, hoodies, and everybody was gangster. Cypress Hill, all that.

[Zach Amico]

This is a person trying to give me a loan. How do they get my number? I have to change my number. Speaking of white, I have to change my number. Dude. I get 10 phone calls.

[Steph D.]

The phone like this. Hey, you want to give me a loan?

[Zach Amico]

A. Is this an answering machine? Yes.

[Steph D.]

Why can I hear this guy? That's a good way to get alone.

[Zach Amico]

That was definitely not somebody trying to get alone. That was some dude. Who the was that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why can't I hear this guy?

[Zach Amico]

That was crazy.

[Steph D.]

That was your only shot in making it. It blew it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was Netflix. He's just been trying to get in.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Contact with somebody texting with.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hold on.

[Zach Amico]

It's somebody that I've been texting with. That's hilarious. I really thought it was a lone guy. Anyway.

[Steph D.]

Mexican.

[Zach Amico]

Mexican something. All right, let's see. We got a couple more stories. Let's do some stories. We got. Shannon, you put so much work into the stories this week. We've not done any of your stories.

[Shannon]

I know. We only did the strawberry cream pies at McDonald's, and that set off.

[Zach Amico]

That set us off on a journey where we had cheesy bread from Domino's in the studio.

[Steph D.]

Shannon, did we do the strawberry cream pie?

[Zach Amico]

No, that was yesterday.

[Steph D.]

Yeah, yesterday.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That's where you come in. A girl on her period.

[Zach Amico]

Come on.

[Steph D.]

Oh, so hot.

[Zach Amico]

Come on, Zach.

[Steph D.]

Come on. Reel it in.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see, there's. I'm going to Ohio tomorrow. This is a fun story. Ohio cops search a 5 year old boy's pockets during the father traffic stop. That's wild.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That makes sense.

[Shannon]

It's not. It's not great footage. It's a really quick clip. But then I'll explain more to you after.

[Zach Amico]

Please. Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

She360. Okay. Oh my gosh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We just had a traffic stop.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

How is this a traffic stop?

[Zach Amico]

This is ridiculous. It is cute that he puts his hands up. That's adorable. That's pretty adorable.

[Steph D.]

It's like on an airplane when they give you like little wings as a cap. They do little handcuffs.

[Zach Amico]

I can't believe. Of course they're gonna check his. Come on, officer. Was he black?

[Steph D.]

Was that a black Dutch Irish?

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yes, they're black.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Offers just later blame the death on a fentanyl lollipop.

[Steph D.]

What seems to be the problem?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

The only way in my head that's justified is if they saw the dad hand the kid something as they were approaching.

[Steph D.]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

I mean that makes sense.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The dad's gonna give it to the kid though. Doesn't that make sense?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, but I'm just saying if they saw him hand the kid something, I could see it's justified to search the kids.

[Zach Amico]

Do I really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think my dad has done that to me. Me.

[Zach Amico]

He's giving you drugs?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think I've held drugs for my dad.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He used to make me go to the dentist and tell them my teeth hurt so he could get painkillers.

[Steph D.]

Here, put this in your anus. And then. And then put this in your anus.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Let me see your babushka. It's funnier this way.

[Steph D.]

She can put whole fist in her mouth. She can fit it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Show them.

[Zach Amico]

Would you like a turn with my daughter? You let me go. You got to have her hide this.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Kilo under your top lip. No one will see.

[Steph D.]

She does. Everyone Montenegro. Everyone.

[Shannon]

So I can. I can tell you a little bit more about what happened. So this was just. This was basically a traffic stop. After they spoke to the guy a little bit, they said they he had very dark tints. So they ended up running the police dog around the car. And the police dog hit for narcotics of some sort where the boy was sitting in the back.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Shannon]

So he asked everybody to get step out of the car. And the cops say they never ordered the little boy to put his hands up on the car.

[Zach Amico]

He just did it instinctually. Knew to do it.

[Shannon]

He did it because his dad. Because his dad was doing it. So he was just doing what his dad was doing.

[Zach Amico]

It is pretty cute.

[Shannon]

So it's. It's not. I don't think it's as crazy as they're making it seem.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I mean, look, dude, what are you gonna do?

[Steph D.]

Did they find drugs?

[Shannon]

No drugs.

[Zach Amico]

Ooh. So that's the problem. If they would have found drugs, this would be a non story, right? Dude, I saw a video of people fighting in Austin. Like, there's all these, like, I guess just. Just 6th street, like Austin fights where it's just like homeless people and crazy shit. I think there's probably. There must be like a website or something, like, specifically dedicated to this. See if you can find this Shannon. There's a white guy and a black guy fighting. And they're like. There's a girl in between them. And the girl's like, no, stop, you're not gonna fight. And the girl, I think it's a black chick and she's dating the white guy. And the white guy's got his shirt off. And there's a black guy got his shirt off stuff. And he's like, move. Just move out of the way. This white guy wants to fight this black guy so badly. And it's just like a good 15, 20 seconds of build up. And then she starts, like, calling for the cops. She's like, please, somebody help us. And she's literally. These guys are both like, they're ready to rock, dude. And the cops come over and they literally just go to the black guy talking to the white guy. It was bonkers. I was like, dude, like. Like, that is. It's so delightful and so funny. Like, just pure genuine racism just coming out in this mode. If you can find that Shannon. It. It was incredible.

[Shannon]

I have a quick question.

[Zach Amico]

Please.

[Shannon]

They don't have that core vanilla protein shake that you wanted. She's asking if muscle milk vanilla is okay.

[Zach Amico]

I hate muscle milk so much. No, no. I'll stop at a gas station on the way home. Okay, that's fine. Thanks, Shannon.

[Shannon]

Now, I found. I found a bunch of different Austin text fights, but I haven't found the one that you're specifically.

[Zach Amico]

Just do. The black guy gets. Gets pepper sprayed by cops in Austin. See if you can find it. It's a white guy and a black guy. If you could find that, Shannon, I'm sure the racist live chat can probably.

[Steph D.]

I wonder if it's because the white guy was with the black girl, because that infuriates black guys.

[Zach Amico]

It infuriates you as well?

[Steph D.]

No, a white guy with a black girl doesn't bother me.

[Zach Amico]

It doesn't bother you at all?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What bothers you?

[Steph D.]

Nothing. Bothered. No, that doesn't bother me. What I'm saying is, is black guys with white women, right? But if, like, if. Usually if a white guy's with a black girl, they'll get harassed on the street. It's like an open thing. Like, my friend is married to a black woman and he. When he was living in the Bronx, it was non stop. Yo, what you doing with that white boy? Yo, What's. Can you imagine if a white woman is walking around the black guy and people going, yo, why you with yo? Or maybe. Maybe more like, hey, boy, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, wait. With that white woman.

[Zach Amico]

Return that white woman right now.

[Steph D.]

What are you doing with that white. What are we doing with that black boy?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, it's crazy. I mean, you know, obviously. And I think it's a beautiful thing. I'm. I'm a product of a mixed race right now that turned out well, I think heroin relationship. I don't really know exactly call it a marriage, but some sort of heroiny sort of union.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Your mom did love black tar.

[Zach Amico]

She did. Jenny, you didn't find that. That. No, it was on. It was on the. Oh, never mind. It wasn't. I wish I could find. Damn it. It's so good. We'll find it for the next show for sure. Let's do one more story here. Let's do this. This is a good one. You know, we'll keep on the pets thing. Some people think I hate dog. I don't hate dogs. I hate terrible dog owners. And I guess a customer confronts a woman saying that pets don't belong at the supermarket. I can't. I couldn't agree more. More. I don't give a. If it's an emotional support dog. I don't care if it's a seeing eye dog. Get your dog out of the supermarket. I'm sick of it. Let's see y'all. Look at this. People just bring their damn dogs into the store.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

They don't look like no.

[Zach Amico]

Just look at it. Just barking and dog outside and leave.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

It in the damn car at home. That ain't no damn service at. Why you got that damn dog in the stove? Show us your credit card number now. Why you got that dog in the stove?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They should mace that guy, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Black people rule. I don't know why you guys are so racist. Black people are great, dude. They have the balls to just say what's on their mind in that moment. More people should be that way. Sure. It's gonna get your mace every once in a while.

[Steph D.]

That dog was being a perfect little.

[Zach Amico]

Angel until he started getting all.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I think that dog was racist.

[Zach Amico]

Most dogs.

[Steph D.]

What was he howling? You're right.

[Zach Amico]

Well, you know, dogs can smell cocoa butter. It's a thing. They really can.

[Steph D.]

But, I mean, that dog was being. Dog was being sweet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was in the car. It wasn't even bothering anyone.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that guy bothers me. It bothers me to have a person.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like a black Karen.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

It was Kareem.

[Zach Amico]

She's working in the other studio right now.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

And a Muslim. Karen's a Quran.

[Zach Amico]

Donald, easy.

[Steph D.]

Why are you being such a Kareem right now?

[Zach Amico]

It's just. They don't got to bring their dog to the supermarket. That's what it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That.

[Zach Amico]

And I get it. I get. Here's the thing. You're right. I wouldn't go that far and say something to this person. I didn't say something to the person at the gym. I took a video. Like a Karen at the gym.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Bring that video back up. That's a Walmart or Costco, right? Yeah, both are fine for, I think, Sam's Club. Sam's Club?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

You can bring a dog at Sam's Club.

[Zach Amico]

Why? Because you're buying it wholesale?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Because it's not.

[Zach Amico]

That's insane.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

It's not like, grist or like a nicer grocery store, like Whole Foods.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't want a dog.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Yeah, no, not Whole Foods.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But. But they're barely.

[Steph D.]

But the dog again. If the dog's on the floor, I get it. If it's walking around and sniffing things and pissing on stuff, I get it. But the dog was in the car part. It was.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

I'm saying Sam's Club, it's more acceptable because there's not a lot of open air product. Everything's wrapped up. As opposed to, like, a restaurant or a store where there's, like, a lot more.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's nuances to this argument.

[Zach Amico]

Look. Right. Yes. I wouldn't say something to the woman. I've. I've never said something to anybody where they bring their dog in somewhere. I want to. Oh, I want to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel like you would.

[Zach Amico]

No, I wouldn't.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Unless he wouldn't say it. He would just.

[Zach Amico]

It just depends. Well, I would. It depends on how I almost said something to the guy that was playing fetch with his dog in the gym. I almost did, but I was, like, the only And I you not. The only reason I did not is because I'm already banned from Equinox and I can't get banned from Lifetime now. I can't do it. And even as I'm taking the video and posting it to Instagram to shame this person, I was like, this might get me banned from Lifetime. And I, that I. I almost didn't do it for that reason, but I know it could escalate. Today I walked into Lifetime. I just started bitching out the front desk person because it was so busy for no other reason. I was like, why is it so busy? And he was like, it's January. You know the college kids. I was like, yeah, you know, dude, it shouldn't be that busy. 350amonth is a lot of money to have this busy of a gym for, you know. Don't you agree? He's like, sir, please.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel like we can't bring you to a grocery store. You're disruptive.

[Zach Amico]

No, I won't be disruptive. I'm gonna sit in that cart and get a fucking. You know, I might start seeing a video of Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't bring a Puerto Rican into a store.

[Steph D.]

There's certain things, like if it's close quarters, if you're on a plane. I don't believe that. You shouldn't bring a dog on a plane or a bus. I saw a lady today on the train. She had the dog on again. It's. It's in the little cubby with her.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, subway, I don't mind. Can I tell you why? Because Subway, those sandwiches aren't that good. They're stabbing each other. They're lighting each other on fire. Like, you know, what do we. There's no rules on the subway. There's rats. If there's rats running around open, you can kind of have a dog. A dog is less gross than a rat. So I feel like if the city's not going to fix their rat problem, then you can't really about somebody bringing a beagle on a subway platform.

[Steph D.]

You say, there's rats, there's blacks, there's.

[Zach Amico]

Rats, there's blacks, Fats.

[Steph D.]

But I. We know comedians who bring their dogs to comedy shows.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. Name and shame. Josh. Adam Myers. Justin Silver. No, Justin doesn't bring his dog.

[Steph D.]

They let their dogs run around the show.

[Zach Amico]

It's insane.

[Steph D.]

That's crazy to me. That's. And I love Josh, but it's. I'm like, I'm like, I couldn't. I would feel like I'm just Making everybody's life miserable in that situation.

[Zach Amico]

Omega, Jordan said bring a rat terrier. Solid joke, Omega. You're not gonna get a channel snake for that one, but it's not bad. I. I mean, like, you know, I. I feel like if. Yeah, New York City is a little bit different. You know, if there's rats running around a plow, that's a different thing. But the. The Metro North. No way. Beat it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What if you need to transport your dog?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, get a. I don't know. How do you transport a dog? Uber, Even that. But the Ubers have to sign up whether or not they allow dogs, Right?

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Rent a car.

[Steph D.]

Sit Uber, sit.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Make a friend.

[Zach Amico]

It wasn't bad. You're too young for that joke.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm too young for all of this.

[Zach Amico]

Sit Ubers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't want to be here.

[Steph D.]

I'm too hot, and I'm too young.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm, like, getting getting older and uglier as this goes on.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

We've noticed.

[Zach Amico]

All right. This is a fun show. This is a great one. I enjoyed it. Steph, support Steph and everything she does. She's great. Anthony Zanauser. Go see his special on the 19th. He said 18th. The 18th. Go support that. Anthony's hilarious. And that club, Laugh it up is a great club, I always say. I always tell people that's, like, one of the clubs that. That do it, right? They created a community, right? Because Poughkeepsie's not far from here. Upstate New York clubs are tough to fill. And it's specifically because you can come to New York City if you want to see comedy. You can just come to New York, Poughkeepsie, and those guys. Cal, right, is his name? Cal's the man. Dude. They created through just booking great comedians year after year after year. They're just known. Like, people will just come to the shows because they trust the fact that Laugh it up is gonna have a great show, and that's the way to do it in a lot of places. Dude, there's a. You know, Tampa. It's one of the reason I'm performing, doing my special down in Tampa. You know, there's all these, like, little pockets that have these, like, cool clubs and that.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

That treat it right. Like, one thing I like about Laugh it up, they have Louie coming up, but it literally says, watch Louis CK Work out new material, right? So, like, that is instead of people being like, oh, this is going to be a done hour.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Oh, for sure.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Oh, let's watch. Let's see.

[Zach Amico]

You should also just unless you're going to a taping, you should just assume that. Yeah, but people working at.

[Anthony Zenhauser]

Don't necessarily know that. That I like the way that it's advertised.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I'll tell them that now. We're going to tell them right now. Anytime you see anybody that you know on the road, any comic, you know, you assume that they're working on a special if they're a professional, you know what I'm saying? They're working on their next hour. They're working on their special. They're, you know, it's, you got to be a part of the process. So you guys are the best. Thank you, guys for watching. Go subscribe to Gas Digital. And yeah, we'll check you guys on Friday with our exclusive episode. Until then, good night.