0028. Nick Mullen and LeMaire Lee

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Luis and Zac Show
Episode 0028: Nick Mullen and Lamar Lee
Release Date: January 16, 2025
Host/Author: GaS Digital Network

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I. Introduction and Guest Welcome (00:01 – 02:10)

The episode kicks off with hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico enthusiastically welcoming their guests, Nick Mullen and Lamar Lee. Luis humorously announces his pregnancy, setting a playful and candid tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:
Luis J. Gomez [01:31]: "I'm pregnant. That's a big deal."

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II. Nick Mullen's Show and Algorithm Discussion (02:10 – 05:00)

The conversation shifts to Nick Mullen discussing his previous show, "The Word." Zac and Nick delve into the impact of algorithms on content visibility, lamenting the removal of explicit language from his show's title and its subsequent effect on viewer numbers.

Notable Quotes:
Zach Amico [02:57]: "But we're growing, folks. We're growing."
Nick Mullen [03:07]: "It's like somebody at Google, somebody at Facebook, and they're just like, the wizard of Oz, basically."

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III. Personal Traits and Jokes (05:00 – 07:00)

The hosts and guests engage in lighthearted banter about personal attributes, jokingly referring to each other with playful nicknames and teasing about being "filled with oil."

Notable Quotes:
Nick Mullen [05:23]: "I personally, I'm a coward and idiot, and I think I'm filled with oil."
Luis J. Gomez [05:29]: "They gave you loose stools."

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IV. Algorithms and Conspiracy Theories (07:00 – 16:00)

A significant portion of the discussion centers around algorithms and their pervasive influence. The group explores various conspiracy theories, including the manipulation of wildfires through laser control and the societal impact of algorithms dictating content consumption. They express skepticism about mainstream explanations for natural disasters and critique the loss of individuality in the digital age.

Notable Quotes:
Nick Mullen [04:57]: "There's a guy in the world that can say, oh, yeah, I'll just make Lewis and Zach rich, because I know the algorithm."
Zach Amico [05:09]: "That's what I mean. It's like the wizard of Oz."

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V. Life Routines and Scamming Experiences (16:00 – 27:00)

The conversation transitions to personal routines, with Nick sharing his disciplined morning habits, contrasting with Lamar's more relaxed approach. They discuss experiences with being scammed, emphasizing the ease and prevalence of online scams. Nick recounts being deceived by a Korean landlord, highlighting issues of trust and vulnerability in transient lifestyles.

Notable Quotes:
Nick Mullen [25:01]: "If that had been a white guy, I would remember his name and his face to this day."
Zach Amico [25:25]: "I got charged 750 from Audi... I'm like, I have to call Audi today and get that money back."

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VI. Drones, Wildfires, and Climate Change (27:00 – 38:00)

The hosts delve into discussions about drones, wildfires, and climate change. They debate the effectiveness of firefighting strategies, suggest alternative methods like controlled burns, and critique the politicization of climate discussions. Lamar introduces a conspiracy theory about the Maui fires being caused by direct energy weapons, a claim met with skepticism by the others.

Notable Quotes:
Zach Amico [33:25]: "Let's get retribution for you getting scammed that one time. You should have bayonetted this Korean dude."
Lamar Lee [37:11]: "That was actually a direct energy weapon. Like actually like the Maui fires are fake."

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VII. Firefighting and Wildfire Solutions (38:00 – 58:00)

The group continues their debate on wildfire management, discussing property rights and the legality of looting burned houses. They reflect on past firefighting methods, expressing cynicism about current practices and the government's role in wildfire prevention and response. The conversation touches on the challenges of maintaining individuality amidst algorithm-driven societal norms.

Notable Quotes:
Nick Mullen [39:13]: "Texas people don't agree. Texas people are like, nope, property rights. It's my stuff still."
Zach Amico [28:13]: "Why don't they just let the fires burn until it goes all underwater and then it'll naturally solve the problem."

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VIII. Gym Experiences and Social Dynamics (58:00 – 78:00)

Shifting gears, the hosts and guests share humorous and sometimes frustrating experiences from the gym. They discuss social interactions, perceived annoyances, and personal anecdotes about fellow gym-goers. The conversation highlights the blend of humor and venting typical of the show's dynamic.

Notable Quotes:
Zach Amico [44:39]: "And I'm like, miss, I'm. I'm doing supersets."
Nick Mullen [44:53]: "I write my name on all of them."

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IX. Conclusion and Upcoming Events (78:00 – 83:00)

In the closing segment, the hosts promote upcoming events, tours, and personal projects. They engage with listeners through contests and shout-outs, maintaining the show's interactive and community-driven spirit. The episode wraps up with plans for future shows and guest appearances, ensuring listeners stay tuned for more engaging content.

Notable Quotes:
Zach Amico [83:08]: "We got Hawk Tua coming up."
Lewis J. Gomez [49:31]: "My movie Shakespeare's Storm is finally coming to streaming."

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Key Takeaways:

• Algorithm Influence: The episode emphasizes the profound effect algorithms have on content visibility and individual behavior, sparking debates about control and manipulation.

• Conspiracy Theories: Hosts and guests explore various unconventional theories, reflecting a skeptical view of mainstream narratives surrounding natural disasters and societal changes.

• Personal Anecdotes: Rich with personal stories, the episode offers insights into the guests' lives, fostering a sense of authenticity and relatability.

• Humor and Banter: Consistent with the show's comedic roots, the conversation interweaves humor with serious topics, balancing entertainment with critical discussions.

• Community Engagement: Promoting events and interactive segments underscores the show's commitment to building and maintaining a vibrant listener community.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments as per the provided instructions, focusing solely on the substantive discussions and interactions throughout the episode.

Transcript

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Lamar Lee]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Zach Amico]

You know what time it is?

[Nick Mullen]

They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko, red dot, head shot, get a sniper.

[Zach Amico]

The Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper.

[Nick Mullen]

And it came to attack spilling crack on the track Spin straight facts.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, baby. Boys, it's a Monday. You know what the fuck's up. You know what time it is. Cypher Lewis and Zach Porter and Rattlesnake, king of things coming at you like Cleopatra with the international superstar Zach Amico.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How you doing, buddy?

[Zach Amico]

Chilling, brother. Feeling. Feeling really good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, man. It's gonna be a great day.

[Zach Amico]

It's gonna be the greatest day of our lives. The greatest day of everyone's lives that are guest digital subscribers. Thank you guys for subscribing to Gas Digital. The only way to watch this show live, the only way to watch this show ad free and uncensored is by going to gas digital.com using that promo code. Laz. Save a couple bucks a month and support the show. The number one way you can. Two incredible guests on the show. One of them is late, not surprisingly, the is going on. How are you late?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm pregnant. Gu a big deal.

[Zach Amico]

You know I'm from the Panties in the Mouth podcast. He left us for Austin, Texas. I'm sure he is happy to be back in New York for a little bit. The great Lamar Lee back on the show.

[Lamar Lee]

I am happy to be in New York except for your inefficient travel systems.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, come on, bro. Come on. You took a subway here.

[Lamar Lee]

I'm staying in Newark. I took a train all over here.

[Zach Amico]

I would have picked you up. You should have told me. I live in Jersey.

[Lamar Lee]

The hell?

[Zach Amico]

Come on, Lamar. Also from the Adam Friedland show. A true legend. A real ass podcast legend. One of the oh GS. And people are so excited to have him back on the show. I'm excited to have him back on the show.

[Nick Mullen]

Thanks for having me.

[Zach Amico]

The great Nick Mullen.

[Nick Mullen]

Hello.

[Zach Amico]

On the Lewis and Zach show, making his Lewis and Zach debut.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. Did you start the show just to commission a new theme song?

[Zach Amico]

No, I started the show. We the the Word.

[Nick Mullen]

The next one, it's you and Zach. It's 45 minutes of theme song, 15 minutes of traffic and weather.

[Zach Amico]

That's fine. I like it. It's a better idea. It's an easier show, to be honest. No, we took the word ass out of the title. I'm sure it come didn't it didn't Affect you guys having come in the title, I guess, but it probably did.

[Nick Mullen]

There was no algorithm at the time. Well, there was, but we were never on, like, YouTube or anything.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, so that was the.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It never affected you guys in any way?

[Nick Mullen]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So, yeah, the word asked. You couldn't type it in. It was a whole to do. So we're like, fuck it. Let's see what happens with this. And now we get 75% of the viewers that we used to get. It's perfect.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, nice.

[Zach Amico]

But we're growing, folks. We're growing.

[Nick Mullen]

It's crazy. So many. There's like, five guys that know what the algorithms are. Somebody had to, like, come up with the algorithm.

[Zach Amico]

You said five guys. Lemire got excited.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

For a different reason.

[Nick Mullen]

It's like somebody at Google, somebody at Facebook, and they're just like, the wizard of Oz, basically.

[Zach Amico]

And they know how it all works.

[Nick Mullen]

Everything.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Like, there's some. Some guy that could see, like, I don't know, like. Like the Hawk Tua girl or the Bobby Altoff girl or any of these people.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And they know before anybody, they. They can do the math. Like in. What's the. What's the wheelchair guy Movie, The Scientists.

[Lamar Lee]

It was Stephen Hawking.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, but the movie, you know, where.

[Lamar Lee]

He'S like, Theory of Everything.

[Nick Mullen]

He can see all the things.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Or maybe I'm thinking of the Beautiful Mind. The Matrix.

[Zach Amico]

No. Also, can you see all the things in. Was the. The pill that he took Limitless. Limitless. He could just see it all. And then also in Sherlock Holmes, they made that his thing, too when they did the new Sherlock Holmes, he, like, saw things like Limitless.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. It's a weird time to be living all these, like, conspiracy theories. Like, the fires are happening. I go on. I just try to. I'm like, you know what's on? I don't know the geography of McDonald's, but I'm just trying to get the latest information. So I go on Twitter and I type in fires. Latest.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And then you get all these people that are like, oh, someone want to explain to me why the trash can in this picture didn't. Didn't catch on fire? I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

The Mother Mary. There was, like, a stone thing. The Mother Mary didn't catch fire.

[Nick Mullen]

I have no idea.

[Zach Amico]

It's a rock.

[Nick Mullen]

Why is the trash can not on fire? Obviously. Obviously. The answer is that the fires were created by a laser controlled from space by Bill Gates. It's not just.

[Zach Amico]

I thought that. I thought it was created by homeless people, and they don't want to light their homes on fire. Yeah, trash cans aren't catching fire.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, I'm guessing it's like. There's just. There's a desire to see, like, contrivance behind everything, and then. But then there, like, it is. There is with this algorithm, and somebody had to come up with the algorithms.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And it's right there. Constantly.

[Zach Amico]

There's. You think of the algorithm. There's an answer. Like, there's a guy in the world that can say, oh, yeah, I'll just make Lewis and Zach rich, because I know the algorithm. And they can just be like. It's just.

[Nick Mullen]

That's what I mean. It's. It's like the wizard of Oz.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. We got to find that guy. Yeah, we got to get him. Is it Lemaire?

[Nick Mullen]

We kind of.

[Zach Amico]

We need it.

[Nick Mullen]

What we need. The four of us already work perfectly.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

I personally, I'm a coward and idiot, and I think I'm filled with oil.

[Lamar Lee]

Same quality.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, definitely. You're probably filled with oil. You don't need any more oil.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that was whatever they made munchos with.

[Nick Mullen]

You're not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They gave you loose stools.

[Nick Mullen]

You're not the tin Man, I guess. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Too.

[Nick Mullen]

Can we talk about the big fat piece of guy made out? There's the cowardly lion, the scarecrow, the big fat piece of. Yeah. What happened to you? I don't. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

If I only had a foot.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, right. Yeah. Diabetic, but.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

What we need is a girl and a little dog, and she can take us sick.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Maybe we can ask him. You know, can we just have some of Shane's money?

[Zach Amico]

It's a little bit of it. I think about it every day. Well, now it's Nate Bargazi's money is what I want.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, he's the wicked. Nate is definitely the wicked witch.

[Zach Amico]

He's the wicked witch.

[Nick Mullen]

Shane is the good witch.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's something about the Wicked witch of the Right.

[Lamar Lee]

There's something about getting monkeys. I don't really trust neighbor Gazi for some reason. It's like his new forehead. I don't like it.

[Zach Amico]

You don't like it?

[Lamar Lee]

I don't like his new forehead.

[Nick Mullen]

You got a new forehead.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Lamar Lee]

His forehead's mad different now, I think.

[Zach Amico]

You know, he's got a. Got a haircut. That's what it is. He's got. That's a problem with Nate, and I love Nate. Nate's my son's godfather. He's one of my closest friends in the world, but it's like he's going, hey, man, I'm just an everyman. And you're like, you have a bazillion dollars. Nobody's buying that you're an everyman anymore. You need to fucking.

[Nick Mullen]

Your son finds out that Nate's his godfather and he can conceive of what that means, that he'll kill you to go live with to go have Nate's money.

[Zach Amico]

If Nate doesn't have a million dollars in a trust for James, that's insane, because I didn't choose him to be my son's godfather when he was a bazillionaire. I chose him.

[Nick Mullen]

He just seen the Godfather.

[Zach Amico]

I was very inspired. Yeah. But I mean. Yeah. Nate. Can we see Nate's forehead? Can we see an old picture of Nate and a new picture of Nate? That's old Nate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's old Nate with bangs.

[Nick Mullen]

Wait, that's not old Nate.

[Zach Amico]

And this is new Nate. Yeah, he just poofed his hair up. That's all it is.

[Nick Mullen]

That's not old Nate.

[Zach Amico]

It kind of. It looks like.

[Nick Mullen]

Look up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's Creek in the Caveman.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. No, go look up, like, 2011 Nate.

[Zach Amico]

He's just hiling Hitler.

[Nick Mullen]

No, he used to look like Subway Jared.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. I don't believe in dinosaurs.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, look at. He's so young. Oh, my God. Yeah, look at Nate, his first appearance on the Tonight Show.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, he is just hiding his forehead.

[Nick Mullen]

And then he had the. He had the middle school glasses. Yeah, yeah, the. The rectangular ones.

[Zach Amico]

Just expects. Squeaky clean, dude. Squeaky clean. Never said a curse word on, like, a podcast. Nothing. Yeah, just fucking.

[Nick Mullen]

There you go.

[Zach Amico]

There he is.

[Lamar Lee]

There goes that forehead.

[Nick Mullen]

Now let's see the new one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He looks like he probably just got. So he was hiding his head with those bangs and those cuts, then he realized he was going bald. But now he probably got the fucking trip to Turkey.

[Zach Amico]

You think so? You think he got some.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think everybody went, you know, you.

[Lamar Lee]

Can turn his face upside down.

[Nick Mullen]

And this is Zach after we meet the Wizard. And then he looks like that for maybe four days before he puts all the weight back on the wizard of Ozempic. That's how he goes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Epic is really fun.

[Nick Mullen]

Thank you, Zach. Thank you. You were supposed to say that. You were supposed to say wizard of Ozemp.

[Zach Amico]

That was your role. Oh, yeah, dude. My kid, my son. Wizard of Oz is probably the one movie that still kind of holds up for kids.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, it's an old, old movie. Like, you show. You show kids any. Like, I try to show my show on the. The Terminator, and he was just like.

[Nick Mullen]

The original or T2. You got to start them with T2.

[Lamar Lee]

T2's rips.

[Zach Amico]

I. I started with T2. Obviously, the original is like, there's also a particularly hot sex scene in the original. They show Kyle, right?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Linda Hamill's tits. Great tits, dude. Really, really nice. But no, I didn't show them that. That was rated R. PG 13 was the T2. T2. Yeah. And that one's just fun. That's how I. That's why I'm with AI with Chat GPT. I treat it like it's Arnold. Like, it's like my best friend every morning.

[Lamar Lee]

Dude, t3 has the baby. Okay, dude, AI spooky. I just thought about this the other day because, like, I was. The Dark Web has access to AI, too.

[Nick Mullen]

Is the Dark Web that still exists?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

What is that again?

[Lamar Lee]

It just. It's just the. The.

[Nick Mullen]

It's a. It's an Internet with no algorithm.

[Lamar Lee]

It's just.

[Nick Mullen]

That's the other thing I complain about. Like, you know, the algorithm. I don't even know if I'm complaining. I'm just like, whoa. You know. But without it, then it would be a lot of child pornography.

[Zach Amico]

Well, the algorithm.

[Nick Mullen]

No algorithm at YouTube would just be whatever the latest uploaded video would be. And it would be a lot of, like, I got this one through.

[Lamar Lee]

If there was no algorithm, this would still be real ass podcast.

[Zach Amico]

It would be real ass podcast. Well, that's. The algorithm sort of became reviewing child support. The algorithm became what? Like, you know, back when we were kids, you'd have to be like, you're like, all right, I'm gonna sit down at 8 o'clock at night and Fox is gonna show me the Simpsons. And you're like, oh, this is fucking great.

[Nick Mullen]

Like, so was that focus groups maybe?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So it's like. It's almost like now it's sort of going back to that. It's like we're having these big companies tell us what we like and what is quality. Whereas the Internet sort of was to break that. Right? The Internet. The whole thing about YouTube and the Internet was like, oh, anybody could fucking upload anything and we could find the best shit. And, yes, we all found child porn.

[Lamar Lee]

It used to actually be like, a bunch of different guys. Now it's actually just one guy telling you what you should watch. Yeah, my. One of my friends is a teacher, and she said, during the holidays, this is the first year, she gives them, like a paint picture, the same picture, to color. And this is the first year everybody colored the same picture, you know?

[Zach Amico]

What do you mean?

[Lamar Lee]

Like, it was like a cat. And, like, you know how there's different color cats, but everyone drew a black cat with red eyes, you know?

[Zach Amico]

All the kids did.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't believe this story.

[Lamar Lee]

Why don't you believe this?

[Zach Amico]

30 kids all drew a black cat with red eyes.

[Lamar Lee]

Yes. This is what I'm telling you.

[Zach Amico]

Independently.

[Lamar Lee]

This is what I'm telling you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They all drew a stoned black cat.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. That's what I'm telling you. That's scary, right?

[Zach Amico]

Kind of.

[Lamar Lee]

It's very scary because, like, the Internet is taking away individuality and making everyone more the same.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. But I mean, that's sort of the way it always is, right? We've always sort of like.

[Lamar Lee]

No, I think so.

[Zach Amico]

I do. There was nobody that was an individual when I was in high school. It was like, just like the. The groups of, like, you know, your cliques or whatever. I was an individual. I was nominated for most individualistic in my high school class. Superlatives.

[Lamar Lee]

Did you go to high school in New York?

[Zach Amico]

I went to high school in Rockland County, New York.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. You guys are the algorithm. New York City is the algorithm. What you mean this is the algorithm? We're in the algorithm right now? Yeah. New York City decides what everybody else wants.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Lamar Lee]

Talking about the algorithm.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is there a thing that made the cat exceptionally appear black?

[Lamar Lee]

No, it's just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was it like selling catnip?

[Lamar Lee]

No, fucking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A white cat.

[Lamar Lee]

It was a. It's a Christmas cat from, like, Sweden or something. Like one of their evil Christmas cats.

[Zach Amico]

Oh. And that's that. It went viral, this cat.

[Lamar Lee]

But every. No, it's not even. It's just like a black. It's just like a color. A blank. There's no color in this picture. It's just all outlined.

[Nick Mullen]

It's a color in the lines assignment. And they could color it in any way they wanted. And all the children colored it the same way.

[Zach Amico]

I think this person is trying to give an interesting story that. And they told you this story.

[Nick Mullen]

Two or three kids.

[Zach Amico]

It was. Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Dude, I'm telling you, dude, they're tricked.

[Nick Mullen]

Dude, that sounds like a female lie.

[Zach Amico]

It does. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It really does.

[Nick Mullen]

The other. That's the opposite side of the universe. Universe from the algorithm? No, female chaos.

[Zach Amico]

And masculine algorithms are very messy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The algorithm is the truth compounded while females ideas are the truth compounded till.

[Nick Mullen]

It'S no longer a value to humanity.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

I would say algorithms are very female because men care about what women say online too much.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't think that's people reacting.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

So that's not the algorithm itself.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think guys care about what women care about anymore.

[Lamar Lee]

The algorithm feeds on the reactions we.

[Zach Amico]

Whatever happened. Like, I think there's like a whole. The Internet has become like, dudes being like, yo, fuck women. Like, it's like the he man woman haters club. Like, nobody really gives a shit about women say anymore. I think for a while we. Because if. I think we thought the Internet was gonna be a way to get us pussy for a minute, and then all the guys who thought that couldn't get pussy on the Internet. Like, I can't at all. You want any of those, like, dating apps or anything? Yeah, I know.

[Lamar Lee]

You got.

[Zach Amico]

You got ripped off or you got not ripped off. You got. Would you get swindled?

[Lamar Lee]

I got swindled. I got. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Did you actually. Did you send the dick pic?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You were the one that sent the dick pic?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, Yeah, I got hoodwinked on Snapchat.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And did they release it?

[Lamar Lee]

Well, I. I was talking to a lady.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hoodwink is a app to meet black girls on.

[Lamar Lee]

I was talking to what I thought was a lady on Reddit and then.

[Zach Amico]

She'S like, that's your first mistake. You think there's women on Reddit?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, Meeting women on Reddit is you guys.

[Lamar Lee]

You guys are wrong.

[Zach Amico]

It's psychotic.

[Nick Mullen]

You know what, I take that back. To find somebody if that's, you know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you like yourself on Reddit though? Are you Lamar? Or are you just a random name?

[Zach Amico]

Are you. Are you user slash baby James is gay you. Is that who you are, you motherfucker?

[Lamar Lee]

No, my only fans name is Colt Doe. Magnum. Colt Magnum.

[Nick Mullen]

I created a Reddit account to pretend to be a firefighter in Los Angeles. I just want people to say thank you.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a firefighter in Los Angeles. Ask me anything.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I'm like, I'd love to respond, but I'm out here fighting the fires, guys. And then people are like, you're a hero. And I know I'm lying, but they say thank you to me. And it's genuine.

[Zach Amico]

It does feel nice. Right? It's just the words thank you. Just like when people say you just get up every day, like say positive affirmations, it's like, what does that actually really do? It's like, no, you Put the intention to the air. It's like, that's a stupid mentality. Women will get up every day and she's like, I'm, I'm appreciative of my coffee. It's like, are you like. It's not actually.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm like that though. In the mornings, you, you give. After about 10:30am Things really start to fall apart. Yeah, but at first thing, when you 5:00am to. Yeah, about 10:30.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

If I could just exist in that. That's perfect. I get up before the sun comes up, I make a coffee, I go outside. I mean, you can't really see the sun come up in Brooklyn, but it gets light, right? I'm like, that's great. I listen to the birds, I feel the wind.

[Zach Amico]

Do you really do that every day?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Wow. I get up pretty early, so I get up like 6:30 every day. And do you, do you, do you avoid like scrolling and shit when you get up in the morning?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I'm, I've, I've started like, just because I don't, like. I'm trying to be conscious of how much sleep I get. So I put the phone away.

[Lamar Lee]

I wake up at 10, praise God, roll tide. Look at my phone for three hours. And then I figure out that I'm not going to do anything and play games all day. That's my whole day, every day.

[Nick Mullen]

That's okay. Playing games is okay because that makes you happy. The phone makes you sad. There's no algorithm in the games. A lot of people don't know that, but there's. There's no algorithms involved in making a video game. I also should say at this point that I don't actually know what an algorithm is.

[Zach Amico]

I don't either. I say the word a lot.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I say it so much you would think that I am an expert on the algorithm, but I don't really know what it is.

[Nick Mullen]

I imagine it's some sort of computer based Rube Goldberg device where you, you put in like, yeah, boobs, and then out the other end comes like Drake's new album.

[Zach Amico]

Well, when they tell you, like when they, if you ever look up how to do a Rubik's Cube, they say it's an algorithm. And then you're like, wait a minute, what? You need a computer to do a Rubik's Cube.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, but the series of numbers that give you results.

[Zach Amico]

Shut up, Lemaire.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, don't fucking pretend like, yeah, well, we've had a lot of fun, but actually it's just a series of Number.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just because black guys are born with algorithm.

[Lamar Lee]

I tell you guys about this evil AI I figured out about. It's crazy. What is it?

[Zach Amico]

Tell me.

[Lamar Lee]

It's called Whisper of the Beast and it just like it's this guy online.

[Nick Mullen]

Is another person tricking you into showing your penis.

[Lamar Lee]

No, dude, this guy.

[Nick Mullen]

Wait, what happened with sound chat? So somebody met somebody already. Which subreddit was.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, let's take a quick moment and thank smallbatchcigar.com for supporting today's show. We love Small Batch Cigar, genuinely one of our favorite sponsors. They give you exactly what they sound like. They give you cigars in small batches delivered right to your door. I'm not a big cigar aficionado, but I like to smoke a cigar once in a blue and they make it really easy because I don't know about cigars. If you go to their website, they have so many new selections. They have all the classic selections that you guys are looking for and they make it very easy to get into smoking cigars.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

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[Zach Amico]

Right, Lou, we have an amazing deal for you. If you go to smallbatch cigar.com, right, use the promo code GAS10, you're going to save 10% off plus 5% rewards points on every order. They come with the Baveta packs. They come with the best, most thorough packaging in the industry. They're never going to get stale while they're in. In delivery. Delivery. And I was gonna say in utero. Guys, I'm retarded. Go to smallbatch cigar.com, use that promo code GAS10 for 10 off and 5% rewards points. All right, where were we?

[Lamar Lee]

It was something.

[Nick Mullen]

We'll edit it out later.

[Lamar Lee]

It doesn't matter. It was an R4R, which is just Redditor. For retards.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For retards. You can't go on there.

[Nick Mullen]

So it's like a Reddit specifically for.

[Lamar Lee]

Dating other Redditors just for like, just for one times.

[Zach Amico]

You know, it's casual. We grew up with casual connections on.

[Nick Mullen]

Or casual encounters connections or casual casual encounters on Craigslist. That was just process.

[Zach Amico]

I got one. No, no, I got one.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

I had a casual encounter on Craigslist. The woman that I was working in a gym a little on 34th and 8th there was a Moroccan gym. And I didn't do shit for the gym. This before I worked at Equinox, I didn't know how to do anything. I just convinced them to give me the job. And I would just jerk off in my office all day and I did. I remember, dude, I jerked off and I didn't shower the day before and I worked out and I like, I had like dick cheese smell in the office. And my boss came in the office one time, he's like, what is this smell? And I was like, I don't know, man. It's weird. It was literally my dick cheese. But I. I would try to get casual encounters every day. I'd post. I. We'd go on the road. Me and Big J would be like, we're entertainers in town. Yeah. And then I got a girl to show up, up at my office and to me in the office and she looked a lot like Lemaire. She. She had the same hair, same skin color, short.

[Nick Mullen]

So you also tricked him. I can get from this lady who looks like a guy as long as I dress up like a girl.

[Zach Amico]

It was wild.

[Lamar Lee]

But yeah, it was.

[Zach Amico]

It worked. Literally one time ever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For me, I think casual encounters is more for like gay dudes. Well, yeah, like there, there would be posts, but I think it would be prostitutes mostly.

[Zach Amico]

It was mostly whores. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then gay dudes looking for anonymous.

[Lamar Lee]

You want me to give you.

[Nick Mullen]

I never got into that world. The Craigslist free stuff section. Big time fan of that.

[Zach Amico]

Really? You just pick up free stuff.

[Nick Mullen]

I found. You kind of don't even need that. You could just go find stuff on the street in New York. I found. I found a designer chair. No, it's not me. It's a $2,000 chair.

[Zach Amico]

You go garbage picking.

[Nick Mullen]

I just happened by it. It was on fifth Avenue.

[Lamar Lee]

Two thousand dollar garbage.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh yeah. I brought it back to my office.

[Lamar Lee]

This is.

[Zach Amico]

Well, this is the poor. This a poor thing that I still have in me. Like when I drive through New Jersey, if I see.

[Nick Mullen]

If people don't. Poor people don't know nice furniture.

[Zach Amico]

Well, no, they don't know, but I don't know nice.

[Nick Mullen]

A poor person would walk by that and they'd be like, oh, somebody threw out a shitty chair. Yeah, yeah, I saw it and I was like, that's. That's a nice chair.

[Zach Amico]

That's good shit.

[Lamar Lee]

Burberry chair.

[Zach Amico]

But this is like for me, if I'm driving in Jersey, this is like a poor state of mind. That I still have. If I see, like, a piece of furniture, I always slow down. Like, in my mind, think about picking it up and bringing it into my home.

[Nick Mullen]

But that's what you would go home with. Some, like, garbage. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's all I can think about is picking something off the street. It's like, oh, it's probably out here because it has bedbugs.

[Nick Mullen]

Has anyone accidentally ever, like, picked you up thinking couch, a beanbag chair, but.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, it's full of bugs.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, it's actually.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's no.

[Nick Mullen]

Hopefully I can clean up this couch and use it.

[Lamar Lee]

Zach, you could be full of bugs.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, the oogie boogie. Yeah, Zach has Oogie boogie Energy boogie. This is how we all imagine Zach's innards are. Does Craigslist even still exist anymore?

[Nick Mullen]

Yes, of course it does. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Get out of town. I mean, I almost feel like it's just a pointless thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They took away a lot of the sex stuff, though.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you can't get any sex stuff. But no, pull up, like, Oogie Boogie.

[Lamar Lee]

Why does he have dice?

[Zach Amico]

I don't want to, like, a student's drawing of Oogie Boogie. Shannon, you can. You probably find a better version of the Oogie Boogie. Yeah. Craigslist doesn't have any of the fun stuff on it anymore. Right.

[Nick Mullen]

In the free section, you mean?

[Zach Amico]

But do they have free. There's still a free section. Well, my sister's trying to become. She. She hit me up the other day. She's so, like, dated.

[Nick Mullen]

Become a robot.

[Zach Amico]

She's trying to become a. I mean, what.

[Lamar Lee]

It.

[Zach Amico]

I don't even know what the word. A thrifter.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

She's watching Storage wars, and she's like. She's like, we should go buy storage lockers. I was like, you're a dude. It's like you. Everyone had this idea 15 years, and then when you look into it, that whole, like, thing is, it's 99 of their job is buying valueless storage lockers and having to clear it out. And that's Their whole lives is having to take away that isn't worth anything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You mean every single locker you buy doesn't have one item that you happen to know somebody who can appraise it.

[Zach Amico]

No matter.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No matter what happens that day.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she's retarded, my sister. She's. I was like, set real goals for yourself. Why are you. You want to be a garbage picker?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. No. You got to figure out the algorithm. That's it. My next venture. I want to do it do they make. I don't even know if they make them, but like little cameras. Little, like cameras with white. Like a GoPro that's that big.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And you start a YouTube channel and you just flush those down toilets, like in public and then figure out where that.

[Zach Amico]

And see where it goes.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, See where it goes. People would watch that.

[Zach Amico]

People would watch that.

[Nick Mullen]

I watch flushing it. This. This down the toilet at Penn Station and seeing where it ends up.

[Zach Amico]

I watch videos of cats with GoPros on their ne. Watch those.

[Nick Mullen]

A stray cat? You put them on a stray cat?

[Zach Amico]

Is that a stray cat? I think they're like people's cats. Oh, okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

See what it does all day. Dude, they're wild outside cats.

[Zach Amico]

Cats are. They live a very. They get into dangerous, sexy life. Dude, it's wild, dude. It's just constantly. And just jumping from just crazy, like, balance. It's really very intoxicating to watch those.

[Lamar Lee]

Cats live like comedians.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. The dark. I actually don't know what the dark web is. We used to have a producer here who would buy us drugs in the dark web. And I've never wanted to explain. I feel like as soon as you download a dark web browser, you're opening yourself up for some sort of crazy scrutiny.

[Lamar Lee]

You do. But like, if you, like, if you use a computer that's like not attached to anything, with no, none of your information in a vpn, you're good. It's only those two steps, so you.

[Zach Amico]

Have to completely hide your identity. But if you don't.

[Nick Mullen]

So if you know how to do all this, why are you getting tricked on Reddit into masturbating?

[Lamar Lee]

Because it's easy to get scammed.

[Zach Amico]

Have you been scammed online, Nick, with anything?

[Nick Mullen]

Never.

[Zach Amico]

Never.

[Nick Mullen]

I've never been scammed in my life.

[Zach Amico]

In any capacity.

[Nick Mullen]

In any capacity.

[Zach Amico]

You're sitting on my show right now.

[Nick Mullen]

Trust me, I'm not paying anything.

[Lamar Lee]

Dude, you've never been too horny?

[Nick Mullen]

Dude, I've never been scammed. I mean that. I've never been scammed.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

No, nothing.

[Nick Mullen]

No, I got. Maybe I'm like risk averse or something.

[Lamar Lee]

That podcast with Style was pretty much a scam.

[Nick Mullen]

In what way? But then we were. We were the ones doing this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they were the scammers scam that Jew.

[Nick Mullen]

We were the ones collecting all the money to do nothing.

[Zach Amico]

It's very beautiful. Yeah, smart idea.

[Lamar Lee]

You're a genius, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, no, I get. I get my refunds when I'm owed them. I'm a big chargeback guy.

[Zach Amico]

You are Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

I will destroy a relationship with the company.

[Zach Amico]

Do you not have ADHD at all?

[Nick Mullen]

I don't. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you have autism either. I just got charged.

[Nick Mullen]

I think I'm just lazy.

[Zach Amico]

I got charged 750 from Audi. I total my Audi a month and a half ago or two months ago, and I haven't called Audi yet to let them know to stop. Even though the bank paid them off, the rest of the loan, they're still charging me. And it went through. And as I'm thinking about it now, I'm going like, I have to call Audi today and get that money back and make sure that in a few days they don't charge me again. And it's just not going to happen.

[Lamar Lee]

You gotta get an assistant.

[Nick Mullen]

I did get scammed one time. I just remembered by a Korean man in Los Angeles.

[Zach Amico]

What do you do?

[Nick Mullen]

I rented a room and then he didn't give me the deposit back. And he said because there was like grime in the bathtub.

[Zach Amico]

Was there grime in the bathtub?

[Nick Mullen]

It was a shared bathtub. There was like two other tenants and I was there for six weeks and there wasn't. And he kept a sixteen hundred dollar.

[Zach Amico]

And you didn't do anything about it?

[Nick Mullen]

There was nothing I could do. I could go. I could fly back to Los Angeles and go to small claims court.

[Zach Amico]

You could learn martial arts.

[Nick Mullen]

What I did was I just. I made a mental note and I said, the Koreans.

[Lamar Lee]

North.

[Nick Mullen]

The worst part is, is like, if that had been a white guy, I would remember his name and his face to this day.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And I would probably sit around fantasizing about, like, you know, I don't. For whatever reason, I'm in charge of, like, the last ship off the island or I am like a Los Angeles firefighter and he's like, like, please save my Airbnb. I'm like, we're out of water. Wish I could, but I can't remember that guy's name.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

What he looks like.

[Zach Amico]

Why does it. Is there a reason why they're out of water in California? Is that the.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't think they're actually out of water.

[Zach Amico]

What is it? What is.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't think. I think there's water in different places.

[Lamar Lee]

It's privately owned. All the water's privately owned. And they're diverting it from.

[Zach Amico]

Why? I mean, why don't you just fucking. I mean, at this point, just let it burn. It's fine.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't know. I don't actually believe that firefighting Exists meaningfully at the level that's required with that.

[Zach Amico]

No. I grew up with volunteer firefighters. They were retarded people who just wanted to have, like, a place, a clubhouse, to hang.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, I mean, have you seen a house burned down? You need, like, two engine companies and fucking, you know, ladders and shit. It's like 35 firefighters. That's like one house.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

If it's an entire neighborhood burning down, I mean, they can go with the helicopter and dump it.

[Zach Amico]

Looks like it doesn't do anything. The helicopter does this crazy thing, and then they drop a bunch of water and then it just keeps burning.

[Nick Mullen]

I think they just have to. There's a big fire and they have to, like, clear an area around it so that it doesn't spread, but the.

[Lamar Lee]

Water evaporates before it even gets to.

[Zach Amico]

The heat from the. Yeah. Which would be pretty nice if you want to get a nice steam in.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Which I love. I really love me esteem. Yeah. So, I mean, at what point do you. Because remember back in the day when I was, like, in middle school, they'd show you a map of what the United States was going to look like like. Like 2015, and it was like California was all underwater. New York was supposed to be underwater. Like, all that.

[Lamar Lee]

It's 2030.

[Zach Amico]

Was 2030. Oh, it's coming. It's coming.

[Lamar Lee]

Still coming.

[Zach Amico]

Show us a 2030 map.

[Lamar Lee]

2025. This year is the start of all the bad stuff for climate change.

[Zach Amico]

They say that every year.

[Lamar Lee]

They don't say that every year.

[Zach Amico]

Change isn't real.

[Lamar Lee]

They said it in.

[Zach Amico]

Trump won. Climate change is not real. Dude, what are you talking about?

[Nick Mullen]

That's. Climate change is one of those annoying things where it's like. It feels like they. It. They just. They, like, browbeat regular people about it all the time.

[Zach Amico]

You're like, what am I supposed to do?

[Nick Mullen]

I can't. I can't do about it.

[Zach Amico]

I stopped using hairspray once. I lost my hair. But I did use hairspray for a long. I was destroying the ozone.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. Climate change is a big problem. Should I buy a cyber truck? No, don't do that either.

[Zach Amico]

It's like, this is 2030, so. Yeah. Why don't they just let the fires burn until it goes all underwater and then it'll naturally solve the problem.

[Nick Mullen]

But hold on, zoom in here. Los Angeles is fine. San Francisco is fine.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Lake Tahoe is fine. It. It just. It's destroyed. Like Bakersfield.

[Zach Amico]

It's created a giant river between cuts the United States in half. Utah is Completely underwater.

[Lamar Lee]

Out of there, Vegas.

[Zach Amico]

Goodbye. Yeah, Shannon, can I get another black coffee, please? I'm on a three day fast right now, so I half Arkansas only drink black coffee.

[Lamar Lee]

Indianapolis, Detroit's out of there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Louisiana is pretty.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

I don't know. I kind of like that map better though.

[Zach Amico]

Where's New York? In there. Are we okay?

[Lamar Lee]

Yes, it looks okay, but what is this?

[Zach Amico]

This because the, the. The polar caps are melting and this is all from glaciers and. Shut up, Lemaire. You're such a lefty dude. This is what happened, dude.

[Lamar Lee]

I'm no lefty dude.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's right, you moved to Austin. Everyone, everyone in Austin's a straight up Nazi now. Do you have guns yet?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You have guns?

[Lamar Lee]

No. I'm lying, but I like to say yes, so people don't try me.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you're not gonna kill them.

[Lamar Lee]

You don't know that.

[Nick Mullen]

Can I have a coffee also?

[Zach Amico]

Of course. How do you like.

[Nick Mullen]

You want to reuse the cup?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that doesn't matter. We're good. Thank you. I appreciate it.

[Nick Mullen]

Can I get a little bit of half and half? I would buy a gun if I lived in, In Austin.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

When I lived there I didn't have like gun money. But now his gun.

[Zach Amico]

Guns aren't expensive, are they?

[Nick Mullen]

I think, I mean, they're pretty.

[Zach Amico]

You can buy a used gun. I'm gonna buy. Use a car. If I'm gonna buy a used car, I'm gonna buy a gun.

[Nick Mullen]

At the time was what, like, like 250, $300 or something like that. And this. I was 20, 21. So that's a lot of people. Yeah, it's like six months saving up for like PlayStation 3, you know.

[Zach Amico]

But I've seen like. Yeah, there's guns that are like two grand, three grand handguns that are like.

[Nick Mullen]

I want like a nice. I want like a very pretty hunting rifle.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

To like establish like a family heirloom.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

I think it'd be very funny if I had a family and then spend all the money. But I leave them like a very fancy gun.

[Zach Amico]

I was at. I was at a gun shop and they had like rifles, like modern day rifles with bayonets on them. It's like, what are you. What's gonna happen here? You're gonna bayonet somebody? Yeah, that's why also. Bayonet, dude. Bayonet and then shooting somebody seems awesome, dude. You stick them then. Is that what they do or. The bayonet's just a sort of. It's a separate thing.

[Nick Mullen]

I say for, like, charging, I guess because they stopped doing them in, what, World War II. They stopped using bayonets, Chance.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[Lamar Lee]

Maybe even one.

[Zach Amico]

Why? Why did they stop?

[Nick Mullen]

Because that's, like, the way they used to fight wars, is they. They would use much bigger guns, and up till World War I. Yeah. They use bigger, like, you know, like, hunting rifles, basically. And they would fire volley shots. They'd go, like, 2, 000 yards.

[Zach Amico]

They stopped being at charges and basic training in 2010.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, okay. All right.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Lamar Lee]

That's. That feels, like, way too long.

[Zach Amico]

The last major bayonet charge of the United states military was February 7, 1951, in Korea. Let's get retribution for you getting scammed that one time.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You should have bayonetted this Korean dude.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's the way to get him back. That's. That. I mean, that would be just sick. Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Skewer. Skewer and Asian.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. But I feel like there's probably. You could just have a knife in one hand and a gun in the other and sort of get the same thing, right? Maybe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'd imagine they stop using them because they. Fighting isn't so face to face anymore. They're probably further away.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. Well, I think it's like. Because, you know, they do the whole, like, charge. Yeah. You know, they stop doing wars like that, and they switched it where it's, like, running around through the. I'm just thinking of that scene from band.

[Zach Amico]

I don't even know what is war.

[Nick Mullen]

Even, like, parachutes and stuff?

[Zach Amico]

I. I've. No. Like. Like, what. What is it like? Like, when you. When you plan an attack? Like, are you guys all in a. Like, the military's hit. Are they in a line? They have a couple tanks with them, and they're all like.

[Nick Mullen]

I think what they do now is they go into, like, a town, and they go into a home and rape the wife. Like, are you guys terrorists? And they're like, we don't speak English. And then they kill the husband and set the house on fire, and then they go to the next house and do it.

[Lamar Lee]

I watched this one video. It was very. It was a drone. They dropped a grenade on, like, injured Ukrainians. It was like, these guys are like, no, no, no. And this drone just went.

[Zach Amico]

But is it like the drone. Like, we fly?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, that's. I would have a hard time. Ukrainian war videos where it's just like, they have a camera on there, and they just go up to, like, a truck and then just drop.

[Zach Amico]

Can we see that Shannon pull up Ukrainian war videos with drones.

[Lamar Lee]

The drones just now, they're setting it up to be like suicide bombs.

[Zach Amico]

Because I could kill somebody with a drone. I couldn't kill somebody hand to hand. If I, like, make eye contact with somebody and then bayonet them or fucking even shoot them, like, even shooting, like, a deer, like, I would have a real hard time, like, just hunting, hearing. Yeah. Fucking. I don't know why the deer would.

[Lamar Lee]

Be bang, like a sheep, because they're screaming for their life.

[Nick Mullen]

I can't wait till we have technology where I can just have my own drone that follows me, you know, 15ft back as I walk around.

[Zach Amico]

They have that. I just saw a video just recently. Oh.

[Nick Mullen]

And then I can check on my phone to make sure I haven't shit myself. I'm always worried about that. And then I have to go to the bathroom. But if I just had a. Like, I can just check real quick.

[Zach Amico]

I'm like, yeah, they have one, like, where it's like a camera, where it's like. It'll follow you around like a party or a wedding, and it's just behind. You can set up high, low, whatever.

[Lamar Lee]

Setting it is, so you can follow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yourself in third person. Like gta.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Pretty fun. That's what we're using our technology for.

[Lamar Lee]

Gta.

[Zach Amico]

I can't drive. I can't fly a drone for, though. It's. I'm really bad at it.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, you got to get the. The VR one so you can just, like, feel like you're in the cockpit just like.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I. I've seen, like, drone racing videos that look really fun.

[Lamar Lee]

They look pretty badass.

[Zach Amico]

It's like, there's going, like, 100 miles an hour through, like, fucking warehouse. Yeah. Yeah, I have a video. I just. I can't zoom in on it, so it's just little.

[E]

So you're watching this little guy?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, this guy right here.

[Lamar Lee]

This is the one. He's running away from a drone, I believe.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, is he? Oh, that would be fun. Oh, you try to throw something at it.

[Lamar Lee]

He tried it, because it's gonna explode.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, dude, if. Oh, my God. Did it get him?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, he got him.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, he's alive.

[Lamar Lee]

Bro's a warrior. Yeah, he's dead.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think you just die. That's the other thing is I don't think you just die automatically when you get shot. You have to, like, bleed out and talk to God and think about your family for a while. That sucks.

[Lamar Lee]

That guy was like, no, There's a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Whole YouTube channel that's just drones annoying homeless people. People. Oh yeah, they go to like camp, like camp outs and. Or encampments and it's just homeless people throwing at them and being embarrassed.

[Zach Amico]

That's how the fire started. They were throwing molt off cocktails at drones, dude.

[Lamar Lee]

They were saying, homie, it's because they were starting like garbage fires to keep themselves warm.

[Zach Amico]

The homeless people, that's what they're blamed. They need somebody to blame now, dude. But okay, there's every other excuse they.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don'T want to admit it's because they're destroying evidence from P. Diddy parties.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

What a good way to get rid of your homeless people though, to have them self immolate.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I see now there's videos like it'll just be like it is a homeless person like next to a dumpster fire and some rich bro comes up to him like, yo bro, you can't do this. I'm beating the out of it.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, some people think it's arsonists, right? Yeah, Henry, Henry Winkler tweeted that it's arsonist.

[Nick Mullen]

There's got to be some arson though.

[Lamar Lee]

They said they found some arsonists.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

If you're, if you, if your thing is burning stuff, imagine if you were a pedophile and it's like it's the biggest child pornography event of the year. If there were just naked. Like Los Angeles is being overrun with naked children.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And you, you would be like, there's.

[Zach Amico]

Not enough water to quench my thirst.

[Nick Mullen]

If I could. This is my opportunity to one of them. While all the homes are evacuated. There's got to be guys out there that just want to burn something.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And everything's on fire.

[Zach Amico]

Now's the time. Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, right, exactly.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think that they should be able to. If a house is about to go up in flames.

[Nick Mullen]

It has been interesting watching that turn into a thing that's like politicized right away. Whether it's arson or not, it's like the chips just fall and it's. It's so arbitrary. It's been arbitrary since like I feel like the last five years.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. There's wildfires every year. This is the craziest it's ever been though, Right.

[Nick Mullen]

Nothing has any connection to any underlying.

[Lamar Lee]

Principles except for that one Canadian year.

[Zach Amico]

Well, Maui. Maui burnt like a. I think Australia has had. That was a wildfire.

[Lamar Lee]

That was a direct energy weapon though.

[Zach Amico]

What do you mean?

[Lamar Lee]

That was actually a direct energy weapon. Like actually like the Maui fires are fake.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you think so? Yeah, not according to the rock.

[Nick Mullen]

To what end, though? Like, to what end is the rock? They can buy the. They can take up all the real estate. Yeah, but they already have the money to do that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

You know, that's existed forever. You know, it's like in the. In the Goonies, rich people just come to town and they're buying all the homes. Homes?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

You know, it's not like the rich people come into town and they're gonna set the town on fire with a giant space.

[Zach Amico]

Seems like it's a lot. It's a lot more. They already have fixed that exact problem.

[Nick Mullen]

They could just come in and. They already did it. They've already done that. They already go wherever they want and buy whatever the fuck they want. It doesn't make any sense that they would, like use a, you know, satellite.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe just like in the Goonies. We should let all the people from California raid wishing wells to get the money back instead of us donating money.

[Lamar Lee]

Unless it's owned by China. China. And they refuse to sell it back.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know what's going on with Mayor. Yeah, I think you have some crazy theories.

[Lamar Lee]

I'm just telling you.

[Zach Amico]

Some random dude on the Internet.

[Nick Mullen]

A bunch of dangerous Austin, Texas style ideas that have no home up here in the big apple.

[Zach Amico]

Let's take a quick moment and thank you, Kratom for being a longtime supporter of this show. They rule. They're the marquee sponsors for all things here at Gas Digital and they've been the marquee sponsors for Skankfield for four or five years now. Genuinely the best sponsor in the industry. So if you guys are in the market for Kratom, you got to get it from ycratom.com.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That'S right. Stop. Go to Bodega's smoke shops or gas stations and get a little bit of Kratom at a time. And when you do, you don't even know what it is because Ycratom.com has the best strains and the best customer service and the best deal in the world. To kratom. That's right. 60 bucks for an entire kilo.

[Zach Amico]

All you gotta do right now is go to ycratom.com. there's no promo code needed already. The best deal, yocratum.com home of the 60 kilo. All right, where were we? Should you be if there's a house about to go up in flames, should you be allowed to loot that house and take all of its belongings because it's going to burn anyway. Legally?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, yeah. Probably.

[Zach Amico]

You think so?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Some people save one person.

[Zach Amico]

Texas people don't agree. Texas people are like, nope, property rights. It's my stuff still. It's going to burn before you could have it.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Not the guns. The guns are in a good safe.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, the guns are all going to be saved. What type of gun would you get, Nick? If you can get a gun?

[Nick Mullen]

Well, right now, a Super Soaker, I think that would probably be the best, given the circumstance.

[Zach Amico]

Probably.

[Lamar Lee]

There's a thing called range day. I shot this gun called an AK50 sniper rifle.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow.

[Lamar Lee]

It's like. It's like an AK47 mixed with like a.50 cal sniper rifle. It's like the only one ever. It was crazy.

[Nick Mullen]

Where was that?

[Lamar Lee]

Range Day. It's a. It's a big gun event.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, okay. Where?

[Lamar Lee]

Where in Texas?

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, okay. Oh, there's you.

[Lamar Lee]

I think that's donut operator.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

That gun is crazy, dude. You shoot it, the whole ground moves. Like you can lay down. You shoot it and it's like all the dirt, like lifts up. It's like crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I just. I mean, is that. Is it too. Is it ever too much? People in Texas is like, the bigger the better. They don't care.

[Lamar Lee]

You got to come shoot it.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I've shot a sniper rifle. No, I shot. I shot that one.

[Lamar Lee]

Dude, you gotta come to range.

[Zach Amico]

I'm just gonna tell lies like that. Told you lies about her cat with red eyes. You believe anything, won't you?

[Lamar Lee]

I believe you. Dude, you gotta come to range day. Dude, you had range day with Rule.

[Zach Amico]

I would love to come range. I don't. You know what I don't want to do? I don't want to do a Taran Tactical day. I think everyone who does that is a jerk off.

[Nick Mullen]

Is that where you like run around like John Wick?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And they start shooting things. You do all this. It's like every jerk off celebrity does that. Can't stand it.

[Lamar Lee]

It's kind of lame.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

No, I want a hunting right. I don't even know if I want to shoot the hunting rifle. I just kind of want to clean it and be out in the woods on your porch. Not on the porch. Yeah, just being out in the woods and it's cold and I can see my breath. And I have my hunting rifle. I speak German, by the way.

[Zach Amico]

This is also how Nick dresses in the gym.

[Nick Mullen]

I've been wearing this hat since. This was a gift. This was a holiday gift. Gift.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

This is a real trapper hat. But it's awesome.

[Lamar Lee]

You're just missing jeans, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I, I, I saw Nick. I was in the gym. I was at Lifetime Fitness. And I look over.

[Nick Mullen]

Did you know that we go to the Daniel Penny Lifetime Fitness?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, I didn't know that.

[Nick Mullen]

I. So I watched his police interrogation, and they're like, like, yes. Tell us what happened before, you know, things got a little crazy on a train. They're New York detectives, so they talk like that. And he goes, yeah, I had finished classes in downtown Brooklyn. I guess he goes to Long Island University. He's like. And I was taking the F train to the 23rd street lifetime. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Nick Mullen]

I had no idea I belonged to, like, you know, like an exclusive celebrity level Lifetime Fitness. Yeah, I guess it is. I mean, they should put that on out front.

[Zach Amico]

It would make people work harder.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. I would say, you know, if I were Daniel, that should be a class.

[Zach Amico]

Where you get to choke out homeless people at Lifetime.

[Nick Mullen]

If I were Daniel Penny, I would.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Be only to Michael Jackson.

[Nick Mullen]

I mean, I would be in Grand Central rebranding myself as a Michael Jackson in person. I'm gonna give back. I'm gonna give back to the world what I took from it. He's like, you know, that would feel right to me, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I look over and I see a guy who I'm like, oh, that guy kind of looks like Nick Mullen, but he's obviously homeless and out of his mind. Because you, at the time, you were wearing, I can only describe as firefighter pants and a hoodie.

[Nick Mullen]

Firefighter.

[Zach Amico]

This hat. They look like firefighter pants. They were, like, black.

[Nick Mullen]

Normally, I don't do that. I was in a time crunch. I didn't have time to go.

[Zach Amico]

You were wearing this hat while you were working out?

[Nick Mullen]

Marginally working out. I'm, like, recently back in the gym, so it's like, it's just sort of going through the motions and. But I hate. Because it was wild, you know, you're old now. Yeah, I hate getting back in the gym. And then now it's like, I will be sore for probably, like, 17 days.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

If I, if it's like the first day back in the gym and I do anything other than just like, like, make the movements happen.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

You know, so I'm not going to be doing this.

[Zach Amico]

But it was. You were. You're going very light.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm not doing this on the exercise bike.

[Zach Amico]

But it was, it was working up. And then.

[Lamar Lee]

We don't get sore in the gym.

[Zach Amico]

And then you don't go to the gym?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Guys like me don't get sore, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I looked over, and I was like, that guy looks like Nick. I was like, but no, it's not. And then I started going back into my workout. Then he taps me on the shoulder. He's like, oh, what's up, dude? I was like, it is Nick. That's insane.

[Nick Mullen]

I just tap you. Unshaker came up to you. I said, hey, I'm not. Not crazy. Going up tapping.

[Zach Amico]

Everyone has to think you're a lunatic for wearing that hat in the gym.

[Nick Mullen]

Whatever, man. I don't give a. You don't give a. Dude, I don't give a.

[Zach Amico]

Judge me, mother.

[Nick Mullen]

That's the best part. That's with the gym. That's the only point of the gym, because you go there, act like a freak. I used to be. When I was younger, you'd see, like, the old guys. It's always, like, older Jewish men doing, like, some fake workout. They're always. They're hogging the cable machine and doing, like. Like taking the cables and doing something like this. Yeah, whatever. Just some nonsense exercise, guys.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, I do. I do. I do the Heil Hitlers. I just grab the cables. I'm like, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And they're go. They're like, go. They're doing it. And then going up on their toes with each rep. He's like, yeah, it's a whole body thing.

[Zach Amico]

That's why you watch old ladies, Dude. I literally want to kick him out of the gym, dude. There was an old lady. I was on the. The leg. I was doing superstats between the leg extension and the leg curl, right? And I'm doing a real work.

[Nick Mullen]

But those guys, they don't give a. And that's, like. That's. That's what I get out of it now.

[Zach Amico]

He's just not caring, just being older, just not giving a. Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

It's not nice.

[Zach Amico]

Did this woman comes up to me. She doesn't even come up to me. She comes over, and I'm doing supersets. So I have towels on both machines. They're right next to each other, which is, you know, it's pretty standard.

[Nick Mullen]

It's pretty standard. I'm using five machines at once. I've written my name on all of them.

[Zach Amico]

I put a burger. Yeah, this is my machine now.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. I've got a paint pen, and I've written rules on everything in the gym.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I went to the ladies locker room and wrote Lewis's dressing room room on it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, I did. I Did you can accidentally walk into the women's locker room about once or twice a year? Well, no. No, because I did it accidentally a couple times. You're looking at your phone, you look up, and there's just girls titties out, and they're screaming.

[Nick Mullen]

You're like, got a notification for the gym that said. And I don't. I can't remember which location it was because I go to a different. Different ones. Yeah, but there was a notification. They were like, oh, by the way, on. On January 15th, the men and. Men and women's locker rooms will be switched for the day.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, I got the same notification.

[Nick Mullen]

And I'm like, that is absurd. I don't understand. They're like, just for fun. Well, it's for maintenance. And it's like.

[Zach Amico]

They're like, you guys, we're gonna do a hilarious thing. We're gonna see how much confusion we can create today.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't. Can. I can't conceive of what maintenance would be necessary. It has to be something with the urinals. Yeah, but, like, what. Why would that. Just put a sign said, don't use the urinals today. Or how. I just. I don't get it.

[Zach Amico]

But this woman I'm on. I'm doing. I'm going back and forth between supersets. And that is a standard thing, okay? You could use two machines at once. That's not crazy.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Anybody who works out knows this, right? And this woman comes over. She doesn't say. It's an older woman, short Jewish lady. She comes over, she grabs my towel, and she just flings it on the floor and sits down and starts working out. And I was like, oh. I was like, miss, I'm. I'm doing supersets. She doesn't know what supersets. She thinks I'm being obnoxious. And she's like, so. And I was like, well, I mean, do you want to work in with me? She's like, no. And she just stole the machine for me, and I had to wait for her to be done, and I couldn't yell at her. All I wanted to do was fucking yell and curse this woman out. But I was already banned from Equinox, so I can't yell at old women at Lifetime now.

[Nick Mullen]

You can't get. You can't get banned from Lifetime, dude.

[Zach Amico]

There's no other good gym.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, that's it. That's the last one.

[Zach Amico]

I have to take it on the chin. There was a guy playing fetch with this dog at the Lifetime In Austin, he had a. He had a special needs dog or whatever they call it.

[Nick Mullen]

That's the kind of of Austin I hate, dude.

[Zach Amico]

It was crazy. It was nuts.

[Nick Mullen]

I have a veteran dog. This dog was in Iraq and I bring it to the gym and I things up in the gym, dude, he.

[Zach Amico]

Was taking like, you should have beat.

[Lamar Lee]

The out of that dog.

[Zach Amico]

He was throwing it across the gym floor. And other Austin are like, oh, hey, cool. We're just cool with this.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I'm like, I pull up my phone, I start filming it like a Karen. I post it to social media. People hate. I got so much hate for posting this video. I thought people are gonna be like, yeah, that's crazy, right? And oh my God. But I almost didn't film it because I thought they were gonna probably ban me from the gym if I posted a video complaining about the gym. So like I. But then I just. My, my instinct, my instinct to be a Karen took over. I was like, no, no, everyone has to see.

[Nick Mullen]

Have you been to the Lifetime in Orange County?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Nick Mullen]

It's awesome.

[Zach Amico]

Is it great?

[Nick Mullen]

The gym itself is like the facility isn't. It's just the approach to go up. It's like going on that space station from Elysium.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I don't remember Elysium.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay, well, is that Matt Damon?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. Next time you're in, next time you do the Brea or the Irvine Improv, check out the Life.

[Zach Amico]

I'll go, yeah, I, I like Lifetime. They just let 12 year old kids there. That's the problem. It's the only problem. Yeah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Almost just started working out.

[Zach Amico]

That's a problem. Yeah. 12 year old children just like.

[Nick Mullen]

I haven't seen that.

[Zach Amico]

Oh yeah, for sure.

[Lamar Lee]

That's why I go to the wash. Why all the kids. You can.

[Zach Amico]

People see you at the gym. People see you at the gym and they go, why? Let's real quick, let's do plugs. We're trucking here. What a show so far, guys. We're. There we go. Lamar Lee, what are you plugging, my friend?

[Lamar Lee]

Yes. Please come see me at the Philly Hilly of January 16th, this Thursday in Emmaus Theater. January 19th. Please come to the Emmaus.

[Zach Amico]

Emmaus is sick, dude.

[Lamar Lee]

Everybody.

[Zach Amico]

That's such a cool place. I love. Dude, I love that place. I love the people that own it.

[Lamar Lee]

Bob, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. It's sick, dude.

[Lamar Lee]

Panties in the mouth Podcast pitm.

[Zach Amico]

All right, Nick, what are you plugging?

[Nick Mullen]

Nothing. I guess you could check out Year of the Dragon something video I put out to Was four, five years ago. No, I don't got anything going on.

[Zach Amico]

You touring?

[Nick Mullen]

No, I haven't put anything on the calendar for this year.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Nick Mullen]

I want to. I got to make sure that I like all the personal stuff I want to do. I plan now in January.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Cuz I try to do it at the time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And it's like I've already filled the calendar up.

[Zach Amico]

It's a pain in the ass.

[Nick Mullen]

So I'm. I'm. I'm holding off on everything until I know.

[Zach Amico]

Zakamiko.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My movie Shakespeare, Shakespeare's Storm is finally coming to streaming. It'll be on the Troma now app on the 18th. That's up. Watch.trauma.com first month is free. And I'll be in Worcester, Massachusetts February 14th and 15th for Juggalo weekend with Juggalo Championship wrestling.

[Nick Mullen]

Is that at the Berkshires?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not sure where. It's two different.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, Western Worcester, Worcester West. Oh, Worcester, Mass. I thought you said western Massachusetts.

[Lamar Lee]

What's the rules, dude?

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Come see me live on the road. The Bring five for Friends tour. Coming to a city near you. Shout out to Chicago. Lots of people Bringing five friends. Lots of people say, dude, I brought ten. Dude. That's. I love you guys. Thank you so much for bringing friends out. You guys are the absolute best. This Thursday, I'll be at the Royal Theater, Thousand Islands in Ghana. Nokway, Ontario, Canada. Tickets are moving fast for that one. Montreal this weekend, Friday and Saturday. Tickets are not moving fast. I cannot sell tickets in Montreal. Apparently I do well everywhere in Canada except for Montreal. So come the out. Ottawa is already sold out this Sunday. But you guys can drive to Montreal. It's just two hours away. It's a different, you know, different language and different everything. Is it a province? I don't even know what it is.

[Nick Mullen]

We were surprised by that. When we toured Canada. The ticket sales in Montreal were absolute dog, dog, dude. And Toronto was great.

[Zach Amico]

Toronto is great. GWE is great. I sold that. I never sell at shows in advance. A week in advance. I sold that. Ottawa. The only reason I'm not adding a second show is because I'm forcing everybody to drive from Ottawa to Montreal. Next weekend I'll be in North Charleston, South Carolina. Naples, Florida. And unfortunately, guys. Oh, they already took it off the site. Yeah. I was supposed to be in St. Catherine's at the the end of the month in Canada, but they booked me the same week. And my son's gonna be in Finding Nemo in a school play. And I'm not. Yeah, I gotta go see Finding Nemo. He's playing a shark.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, that's a good world. He's Bruce.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, he's a shark. And he's. He's great. He's. He loves it. Dude, he's a little. He's a real homo when it comes to that stuff. So, yeah, come see me then. I'm going to be in. Pull it back up, Shannon. I'm going to be in Rumors in Winnipeg and a lot more. It's not on the site yet, but I did add Salt Lake City, Utah for February as well. So come and get tickets for those as soon as they go up. I'm going to be in Salt Lake City, check out all the other pods that I do. Uh, the Regs, Story wars and obviously the Legendary Legion of Skanks. And if you guys really love hearing me talk, I do a solo podcast just for people on my mailing list. Go to LewisOfSkangs.com subscribe to my mailing list. I do a newsletter every Friday with all inside information about Skank Fest, Gas Digital and everything else that's going on in my career. And I do a solo podcast, 45 minutes to an hour, where I just talk about what's going on in my life in a little bit more of a serious tone. But yeah, that's that, man. Check out, obviously subscribe to Gas Digital, do all that stuff. Shout out to everyone in the racist live chat right now. Everyone's very happy. Let's see. Aspersion. Caster said Shark from Nemo and Crab from A Little Mermaid. James loves ocean based theater. That is true.

[Lamar Lee]

Damn, dude. Is your boy a theater boy?

[Zach Amico]

He's a theater boy. Yeah, yeah. No, it's fine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ignorant question. Is Finding Nemo a musical?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, they just turned into a music.

[Zach Amico]

They turned everything into a musical. Yeah. Although Disney.

[Nick Mullen]

That's smart. I want. I was seeing the success of Wicked. I wanted to like, what's the straight guy version of that? And I think it's a musical about Titanic, but from the perspective of Cal. He's Billy Zane.

[Zach Amico]

I was gonna say that's Billy Zane. Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. So we find out like why he hates this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. She's a first of all, kind of.

[Nick Mullen]

I mean, you can see where the, the path to get there. It's like.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. If you're Billy Zayn's character, this just leaves you to go a, you know, a pauper on the lower level of the ship.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. You paid so much for your technique tickets.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And she's some Irish.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, I would like to do it where we find out that it's like. It's not just jazz. She's. There's like nine guys and she's doing this with all of them. And he's like, you know, upset about it.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, but also, isn't that why people get on cruise ships?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I don't think at the time it was to travel.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, they want to meet people from true TV shows. I want a chance to.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I. She really was like such a. First of all, she. She takes like a. At the. I mean a 10 million dollar diamond just throws under the ocean for no reason. Like what an entitled. And then Jack at the end, she just lets him freeze to death and die when there's plenty of room left on that door or whatever she was floating on.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, she let him die because she had to go back to her husband.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, but she doesn't go back to husband. Do we know that she doesn't go back to the husband?

[Zach Amico]

Does he die?

[Nick Mullen]

No, he doesn't die. At the end. At the end of the movie, she's sitting like on where. You know, wherever they have all their survivors. And you see Cal walking around looking.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that she hides.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, she puts.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she has a hat just like that.

[Nick Mullen]

And then she has a different husband that she marries at some point. Who's the grandfather of the young woman who's hearing the story with the crew. That ship that went there to go find the diamond Specific. Specifically.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that. That crew. I wish they would have fucking just imploded like that other Titanic submarine. Yeah, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, I forgot about that. What an awful story.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, it's kind of a great way. I'd rather that than be killed by a drone just immediately just be imploded. I think it's a quick death.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, not me. I would prefer not to get crushed under the ocean.

[Zach Amico]

That's literally the number one way I wish I would die.

[Lamar Lee]

Implosion.

[Zach Amico]

Implosion. And while I'm looking at the Titanic, how cool would that be?

[Lamar Lee]

They didn't get to see the Titanic.

[Zach Amico]

They didn't get all the way down there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now, how much warning do you think they had?

[Lamar Lee]

They didn't have much. It was probably like some creeks and they're like, what the is?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then it was like instant.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Because well, they thought they were like running out of air for days, but it turns out they just imploded like a day before that. Like everyone had all this hope.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. No, there Was no hope.

[Zach Amico]

Hope Diamond. Was it the Hope diamond? That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah. No, that sucked. And then also when they showed her when she was older. Dude, I feel bad for women. Dude. Guy. Guys don't get, like, varicose, veiny the same way that women do. She was all up old.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, I think she's supposed. She's supposed to be like, 90 years old.

[Zach Amico]

My aunt's 90 years old. My aunt is hotter now than that old woman was. Show her.

[Nick Mullen]

Show old.

[Zach Amico]

Whatever her name was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Rose.

[Zach Amico]

Rose.

[Lamar Lee]

Old, Old Rose.

[Zach Amico]

My son's mother showed him Titanic, like, two or three years ago. And she's just like, yeah, look at this old. And he. Like, she has a problem with me showing him, like, you know, just like.

[Nick Mullen]

Boat movies because you don't. She doesn't want to encourage more seafaring.

[Lamar Lee]

More seafaring.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, chill, bro. Yeah, chill, bro.

[Nick Mullen]

Dude, you should have done that one. What's everybody picking up the slap for you today? Come on, dude.

[Zach Amico]

No, I tried to show him, like, Mortal Kombat, which is like, you know, it's a pretty violent movie. The new Mortal Kombat.

[Nick Mullen]

The new. There's a new one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Silly violent.

[Nick Mullen]

You gotta show them the 1995.

[Zach Amico]

The 1995 one sucked. There's 95. The 94.

[Nick Mullen]

But it was awesome when you were a kid.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was great. You wanted to. You know.

[Nick Mullen]

Those were 600 sunglasses.

[Zach Amico]

Is that a quote?

[Nick Mullen]

I don't remember Johnny Cage.

[Zach Amico]

I remember the. The Street Fighter movie a lot. And I remember they had John Claude Van Damme play Guile, the American with the French. Oh, it made me so mad.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Even as a kid, I was like, this isn't right, you know? And my mom. The night that we went to see that it was opening or the day after opening. It opened on December 23, 1994. We went to go see it on Christmas Eve the next night, and we got into a car accident. My mom T boned minivan of Jews. And I remember my mom. My mom was so anti Semitic, she was so mad. She still blamed them, but she was happy. No, she thought the Jews, like, literally drove in front of her on purpose to like her and total her. 1989.

[Nick Mullen]

If we all die and we get killed by. By a Mexican lady with no money.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, she really had this theory that they were trying to sue her. And they somehow got in front of her, even though she's past passing out.

[Lamar Lee]

Me, dude, these Jews, they want to take my money.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look at the woman sleeping in the passenger seat. Let's crash into her sideways and say it was her fault.

[Zach Amico]

I. I had a. I had a lucid dream. For the first time in my entire life, I was able to control my dream. First time ever.

[Lamar Lee]

I believe you.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever lucid dreamed?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. What'd you do when you lucid dreamt?

[Lamar Lee]

I was just flying.

[Zach Amico]

It's the hackiest thing to do. And that's exactly what I did. It's a hackiest. So I was backstage at, like, a big comedy show, like, a big theater show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So you're like, I'm dreaming.

[Zach Amico]

It was sold out. I was like, wake me up.

[Nick Mullen]

This can't be real.

[Zach Amico]

That's how I realized. And Jeremy Piven was about to go on stage.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, now, Now. Yeah, this makes sense.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And. And he kind of get. He, like, gave me the cold. I was like, oh, good luck, Jeremy Piven. And he gave me the cold shoulder and, like, ignored me. And I was like, yo, you. And I was standing next to Greg Geraldo, and Greg geraldo was like, 7ft tall. And I was like. I was like, greg Geraldo, what a right? And he's like, yeah, I know, right? And then I was like, wait a minute. Greg Geralo is dead. He's not seven feet tall. And then I realized I was dreaming. I was like, holy, I'm in a dream. This is wild. And then I immediately was like, yo, I need to fly. This is the first hacky thing. I was like, dude, I gotta fly right now. And I went outside, or I ended up just being outside automatically. Like, you're in a dream, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you were at a comedy club, so flying was not the first hacky thing.

[Zach Amico]

So, dude, I started running and I tried to, like, catch air, and I couldn't at first. My first. I couldn't, like, get up. And then I did it again, and I. I took off. And then I, like, went up to, like, the, like, almost like the stars. And I was trying to get down. I was, like, going up through the clouds, and I couldn't like, angle myself down. So then I. I turned on my back and I started free falling. Then I turned back over and I caught wind again.

[Lamar Lee]

It was awesome.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was the best. Yeah, it was great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Have you ever gave yourself flying squirrel power?

[Zach Amico]

I did. Well, I was like, mario. Yeah, we gotta, like, keep on pressing the button.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever. Have you ever loose a dream neck?

[Nick Mullen]

I don't know. I mean, I've had flying dreams, and those are cool, but were you conscious.

[Zach Amico]

That you were dreaming and were you, like, in control of the flying and where you went.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't think I've ever had a dream where I realized I was dreaming. I've had that happen. And then I wake up where I'm like, oh, I'm just asleep. And then I'll wake up and you.

[Zach Amico]

Try to go back to sleep and fly again.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, no, but, well, the flying there. I mean, I've had dreams where I can fly, but I don't think I knew I was dreaming.

[Lamar Lee]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

I've never. Zach. Have you, Lucy, Dreamt before? Really? What'd you do in your dreams? Dream?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I, I, I happened to me when I was a kid, and I turned all the people I didn't like into rats. I gave myself magical powers. I turned people I didn't like it.

[Lamar Lee]

That's cool, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I wish. And then I tried to go back to sleep, and I immediately, I, I started thinking about the two, like, waitresses from Kill Tony. I was like, threesome with those, Threesome with those. And I couldn't get back to sleep and have a threesome with them.

[Lamar Lee]

Hi, Heidi.

[Zach Amico]

Heidi. And then what's her name? Get in the car, Val.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I really. That was my. I was like, let me just bang them both in my dream. How sick would that be? Yeah, that's the way guys think.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's getting now by Tony. Be careful what you wish for, Louis.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude.

[Lamar Lee]

Every time. I always, like, in the. After I'm done flying, once I start to fall, I'm like, oh, no. And I just wake up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So do the people on the ground.

[Zach Amico]

Have you, have you done it a lot? Have you lucid Dreamed? No.

[Lamar Lee]

Like, I, like, I don't, like, change it. Like, you know, there's. When you're dreaming, you go, you're in a dream. I'm like, oh, I'm dreaming. And I just stay in it. I just stay in the dream. Yeah, I don't change anything usually. Unless you're scary.

[Zach Amico]

I. Dude, I dream so much now that I'm not smoking weed so much. And it's, it's always like. Every dream is that I have to either go somewhere or do something that I can't get to. To. Yeah, every dream. And it's just this, like, anxious feeling that I have constantly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lum, when you fly in your dreams, do you still go after Dorothy and her friends or you just do your own thing?

[Lamar Lee]

I'm more of a Blenda guy. Like, what's her name? Alphaba. I love Alphaba.

[Zach Amico]

Alphaba. The, the bald. She's green.

[Lamar Lee]

I Hate that movie.

[Nick Mullen]

She's not bald. She's green.

[Zach Amico]

She's. Dude, those. Those. I didn't watch it yet.

[Lamar Lee]

Did you guys watch the substance?

[Zach Amico]

I watched. I tried to watch it.

[Nick Mullen]

I tried to watch it, but I had just. I accidentally went too hard on the exercise bike and started throwing up. Go lay down on the floor of the bathroom.

[Lamar Lee]

Is that the movie?

[Nick Mullen]

I think so.

[Lamar Lee]

I don't know.

[Nick Mullen]

I saw the first 15 minutes.

[Zach Amico]

I saw that. I fall asleep on movies all the time. I watched the first 15, 20 minutes, and then I just, like, was out of it.

[Lamar Lee]

It.

[Zach Amico]

But it's kind of weird.

[Lamar Lee]

It's a big girl movie. It sucks, though.

[Zach Amico]

It's a girl movie.

[Lamar Lee]

It's a. For sure girl movie.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lamar Lee]

Randy Quaid is, like, the coolest guy in the whole movie.

[Zach Amico]

Well, just the scene where he's, like, eating the shrimp. Like, it's. I. I get it. It's shot. Cool. It's supposed to make you feel uncomfortable, but I don't really want to be uncomfortable while I'm watching a movie. That's a sign of, like, privilege when you have some. It is a chick movie. So some dumb being like, oh, let's make ourselves uncomfortable now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who was the director that got accused of jerking off while he ate shrimp?

[Nick Mullen]

All of them. Brett Ratner, maybe?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it was Brett Rat. It was one of the guys that made the X. One of the X Men movies.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He was eating shrimp and masturbating. Yeah, well, he met with some actress.

[Lamar Lee]

What a cool way to give a job.

[Nick Mullen]

I was thinking about the other day. The probably the funniest type of me, too is like. Because it's only the old guys that do it. Like inviting someone into your room and your robe is open. It's like the f. Where it's just, like, casually, oh, I forgot to tie my robe.

[Zach Amico]

Whoops.

[Nick Mullen]

But it's like a trick they all learned back in the 40s.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

You know, but, like, Charlie Rose did.

[Zach Amico]

It, and I did that to my. My grandma's. My great grandma Roses. When I was, like, maybe 11, my son. I was. Had to be my son's age.

[Nick Mullen]

Your great grandma Rose from Titanic?

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I. No, she had a. Like, a Haitian caretaker. Yeah. It would come over to the house, and what I would do is I would lie down, and I would, like, be in my shorts, and my dick would get hard, and I would let it, like, fall out of my pants, but I pretend that it was asleep, and I would have her look at my dick, and she would Just fucking clean around me and like not say anything. Dude, that's this poor Haitian woman who's working for like literally nothing. This is like a state appointed like person.

[Lamar Lee]

That's my new, that's my new thing on porn. It's like a. Just like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, is it the, the guys.

[Nick Mullen]

Children sexually harassing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They wait for the hotel maid to come in.

[Lamar Lee]

No, no.

[Nick Mullen]

12 year old boy showing penis to Haitian house cleaner.

[Lamar Lee]

That's why I go to the dark one, dude. It's. It's like this guy, he. He like, he finds hot girls in the, in the, in the market, in the grocery. Then he beats off next to him and they're like, ooh, that's pretty nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this guy does that in his car too, right?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, same guy. Yeah, I think it's the same guy.

[Zach Amico]

Why'd you get mad at me on the Internet recently?

[Lamar Lee]

What with Jordana Grace?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. So this, this stupid.

[Lamar Lee]

There's a stupid.

[Zach Amico]

There's a pro wrestler.

[Lamar Lee]

She'd rip you in half.

[Zach Amico]

First of all, dude, I don't do pro wrestling. I'll actually punch this in her mouth, okay?

[Lamar Lee]

She'd be like, no way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This chick is ripped.

[Zach Amico]

I don't care how ripped she is, dude, I'll fucking rip her in ass.

[Lamar Lee]

They call it a juggernaut, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Pull her up, pull her up. Who is she?

[Lamar Lee]

Jordan Grace. Jordan Grace, Former TNA women's champion.

[Zach Amico]

So she, she posts this thing about her dog and I guess eating her edible.

[Nick Mullen]

She looks like Shannon, super producer Shannon.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, this is the Shannon that shows up to Revenge Lewis? Like Jennifer Lopez. She's been training.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So enough, she posts this video of her dog like all up and high and she's like, oh, my dog got into my stash. Hahaha. She's like, I thought she was dying, but then the vet said that she just got into my stash and it's like literally everyone was like, you idiot. I was like, you're not supposed to keep your weed in like, you know, reach of your Kong or why is she putting weed gummies in a Kong?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, the dog will never get it in the Kong. I've seen it. Try.

[Zach Amico]

The weed gummies in one of those dishes. That is so the dog. It takes a long time to eat the food. It's like a puzzle that they have to eat. It's a treat.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm gonna start putting my food in a Kong.

[Zach Amico]

It's a great way to control the way you eat.

[Nick Mullen]

Probably. Yeah, definitely.

[Zach Amico]

It'd be a pain in the ass, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I would give it out of a Kong.

[Nick Mullen]

If you put a Reese's Mini in the middle of that Kong.

[Zach Amico]

Just lick it.

[Nick Mullen]

Come on. Come on. It really is torture. I don't know why people are like, oh, the dog loves it. She's being frustrated. There's nothing that dog loves more than spending an hour and a half trying to get a tablespoon of cheese.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. So see if you can find the video of the dog or the pictures of the. Was it video or pictures that she put up?

[Lamar Lee]

She posted a picture. I think the dog was like cross eyed.

[Zach Amico]

The dog looked so high, his tongue was hanging out on one side. And everyone was just like, thought my.

[Lamar Lee]

Dog was going to die.

[Zach Amico]

And then everyone. And then she like made up this elaborate story about how the dog, she was like, no, no, no. He actually jumped up on the counter and opened the cabinets and got it out of. It's like that didn't happen. This left her. This is a video. Yeah. Look at this high ass dog, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

That's, that's, that's my posture. This entire show I keep seeing myself, what the is wrong with my shoulders, dude? Do I have spina bifida? What the is wrong with my shitty body?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude.

[Lamar Lee]

And he's having a panic attack, dude. He's like, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So then I, I, I just tweeted at her just to be a troll. And I was like, you stupid. This is why you shouldn't have a dog or something. I don't know what I did. And then you, you had to get her back, dude. You chimed in, you're like, don't you dare. Not my girl.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, don't talk to Georgiana Green like that, dude. You can't talk to her like that. She's the juggernaut, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

And you loved her more like, not for me. There's a choice. I'd say not.

[Zach Amico]

Can I get one more black coffee, please?

[Lamar Lee]

She lives in Austin too. I didn't know.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, does she?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. See, maybe that was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You've never had an animal.

[Zach Amico]

I've never had an animal steal my drugs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your edibles?

[Zach Amico]

No, no. Well, first of all, when I had a dog, there was before there was like edibles. I mean, I guess. Sport.

[Nick Mullen]

Yes. Do you have cornbread hair hemp as a sponsor?

[Lamar Lee]

Cornbread hemp?

[Nick Mullen]

No, no, it's a gummy company. But they have cornbread.

[Zach Amico]

They have cornbread. I'm sure it's delicious.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, it's a corn. Yeah, well, it's a cornbread gummy. And initially the idea sounded sound a little Racist. I'm not doing a thank you.

[Zach Amico]

You said cornbread. She came in right away.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

[Zach Amico]

Here we go.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's on her bucket list.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't really. I don't really do edibles, but every time I think about it, I'm like, I want some goddamn cornbread.

[Zach Amico]

Cornbread hemp. Yeah. I. I stopped getting high.

[Lamar Lee]

But why? Panic attacks?

[Zach Amico]

No. I was just walking around like it was underwater all the time.

[Nick Mullen]

It stopped doing anything for me.

[Zach Amico]

I was acting like my gay son.

[Nick Mullen]

Anytime I've, like, smoked weed or gotten high is after the age of 25, it's like, okay, I'm high now.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

You know what I mean?

[Zach Amico]

That's it. It was, it was. It was almost like just slowing myself down.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I just feel like sharper and.

[Nick Mullen]

Better and, you know, it's weed aged for me. Exactly. Like Family Guy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Where Family Guy's still funny, but I'll sit there and be like, good job, Family Guy.

[Zach Amico]

Well did south park when I was 13 for everybody. Those are problems.

[Nick Mullen]

Eyes rolling back in my head, I'm laughing my ass.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. We would rent Family Guy DVDs when me and Dave Smith were roommates. And it was just the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I tried to watch it recently with my son. I was like, this is just terrible.

[Nick Mullen]

It's not terrible. It's still funny. It's okay. You know.

[Zach Amico]

You know, Family Guy, when they showed you the formula or when south park showed you the formula of Family Guy, it ruined it for me because now that's all I could hear with every joke. I imagine the going over and grabbing the idea balls. Cuz it's just so random and stupid.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, dude, that reminds me of the time.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, but it is funny.

[Zach Amico]

It's funny. It's fine. Yeah, it's fine.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, that's how I feel about weed.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. It's just fine. It's okay. Yeah. Like, Rick and Morty is a lot. Rick and Morty's great. Great. They're. They're really funny. And south park is still pretty great. South Park's awesome. I want to go to Denver and go to the restaurant. I want to bring my kid because my son loves south park now, so I want to. I want to bring him to Casa Bonita. There's hope.

[Lamar Lee]

There's hope.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, he's. No, he's funny as. He's. He's got a great sense of humor. He loves Louis ck. That's his favorite comic Right now was. He'll still sell you. It's Gaffigan, but I know he laughs hard at Louis and he's like. He knows he can't hear certain things, so he'll, like, cover his ears when it gets, like, really dirty.

[Lamar Lee]

How old is he?

[Zach Amico]

He's 12, dude.

[Lamar Lee]

It might be.

[Nick Mullen]

Damn. Your son's 12.

[Zach Amico]

12? Yeah, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

Jesus.

[Zach Amico]

5 7. He's tall as.

[Nick Mullen]

He's taller than me.

[Zach Amico]

How tall are you?

[Nick Mullen]

I'm five'two.

[Zach Amico]

You'Re not.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, maybe I show him season one of Louie now.

[Zach Amico]

Hey. I don't know if he'd like the show. Louie.

[Lamar Lee]

What?

[Zach Amico]

I don't think I've ever watched Louie. What? I don't think I've ever watched Louie.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, you're the one.

[Nick Mullen]

You have headphones.

[Lamar Lee]

I didn't think I heard you.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon. We have a new contest submission, which is fine. I'm. We're doing this contest. I gotta have a date to column Turles wedding. So girls are trying to win their opportunity to come hang out with a bunch of comedians and maybe.

[Nick Mullen]

Why didn't I get an invite to Com's wedding? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. Let's find out. You could join the contest.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I don't want to do that.

[Lamar Lee]

You know what, dude? Down the rod, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

The only contest I'll do is. Remember when you used to under Sprite?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Under the cap.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And it was one and six. You'd win a free Sprite.

[Zach Amico]

Free spread is all you need. It's.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. It's Russian roulette, basically.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Same odds. And I was winning. I would win left and right.

[Zach Amico]

So many free sprites.

[Nick Mullen]

It was amazing. That was a awesome time to be alive.

[Zach Amico]

And you just. You drink it and you go grab another Sprite right away. Like. Yeah, there you go.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

How much do you think the store was. Were they giving full reimbursement for that Sprite?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

How annoying is that? Your Indian guy, you're like, I have to go mail this in now. What are you going to do?

[Nick Mullen]

It would be pretty annoying to be an Indian guy.

[Zach Amico]

Just in general.

[Nick Mullen]

Like, I smell like Indian.

[Zach Amico]

I have to go mail this in.

[Nick Mullen]

And now on top of that, something about Sprite.

[Zach Amico]

So Lewis and Zack. Gmail dot com is the email address. We've had a couple contest submissions already. This is in June column Turtles wedding. You get a all a full airfare. You get your own hotel room. You don't have to have sex with me. It's not like that it's not a weird thing. This is just your opportunity to go to a wedding for column turl. We did one in the past. It was great. And Shannon Lissy, who is this? This is Ally, Ali's hot name. Hot name for a girl. A girl. Oh, okay.

[E]

And I would like to be considered.

[Zach Amico]

Slow down for a second.

[E]

I don't want to give up.

[Zach Amico]

This is a problem already.

[Lamar Lee]

Now, is that a picture of the rock or is that like a.

[Zach Amico]

It's actually the rock.

[Lamar Lee]

No, yeah, this is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's got a cardboard cut out of the rock, a giant snake, a fireplace on the tv.

[Lamar Lee]

I think that's a photoshopped picture of the rock in there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I think it's a. No, it's like a cardboard cutout.

[Lamar Lee]

There's no the wall shadows. Weird.

[Zach Amico]

I like her already. First of all, guys, she wins. Let's just say she's the winner. Shannon.

[Lamar Lee]

She's a goofy nose and she looks crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I like her. Yeah, Shannon, this is what you're going for. This is the aesthetic that you want.

[Lamar Lee]

Shannon has bad taste, notoriously, so you can't listen to her.

[Zach Amico]

That's true. I'm just looking at the rock. She's got a giant. A giant snake. She's half naked in a bed. She's in front of a fireplace. This is great.

[Lamar Lee]

She's fully naked.

[Zach Amico]

What is she covering with that sheet? Feet on. Under the fireplace. She's covering something. What is she hiding?

[Lamar Lee]

Does she have cheetah prints on her leg? Or is that her rest of her?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, I hope it's a boner. I hope it's a boner.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude. If she's got a. How funny would that be information?

[E]

Because I'm afraid that your fans will find out where I live right away. But I will say that I'm 26 years old. Okay, A few reasons why I think I do really good wedding day.

[Zach Amico]

Pause.

[E]

It is that I thrive in social.

[Zach Amico]

She had a. She had to edit right there already. So dumb. She is. She couldn't get through more than two sentences without needing to cut it. Or maybe she's just trying to keep it short and sweet for you. Shannon. What? Do you. You know this girl or something? Why are you in her on her side already?

[Nick Mullen]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

I like her. You like her?

[Lamar Lee]

She got the fake plump lips. She got the plumper lips.

[E]

Keep a conversation going. And I know my place as a woman, so I will never speak without being spoken to.

[Lamar Lee]

I do fake titties.

[Zach Amico]

Those are fake titties.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They're not big enough to be fake.

[Lamar Lee]

They're fake. They do micro implants now.

[E]

It could also just be really tight sports bra.

[Nick Mullen]

Yes, I would like to inquire about a micro implant for my penis. I'm looking to step up to about three and a quarter.

[E]

I'm medium successful for my age, I would say. And I'm not like a weird, exotic pet owner or anything. I'm also into health and fitness, so you don't have to worry about like a big fat fatty fatso showing up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you pieces of shit. She hates fat people. I love it.

[Lamar Lee]

Don't quit.

[E]

And obviously I'll address the elephant in the room. This is not a real fire. It's just YouTube.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I see.

[E]

So if you want to see more of me, I guess you'll just have to choose me of everyone else. And if you want to have the best night of your life, then just know that I like flying first class, but business is okay too.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[E]

I hope to see you soon, Lewis.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I like her. I like her. She's a.

[Nick Mullen]

She has good airplane seat taste. A lot of people say, you know what? I like riding an economy.

[Zach Amico]

I like being in the very background.

[Nick Mullen]

I like to feel like I'm like Rosa Parks.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, the amount of times that I've been in the back row and you literally, you. You can't put the seat back even the one inch. It's kind of crazy. They wouldn't leave even the one inch for the back row. They want you to know that you're a piece of.

[Lamar Lee]

Lewis, can I find you a wife, please? Cuz you. You. You've been trying and it hasn't worked out.

[Zach Amico]

It's not worked out because of me. It's word not worked out because of them. They weren't the right.

[Lamar Lee]

Lewis. After a while you just got take a look at yourself.

[Zach Amico]

Am I the common denominator? That is one of my names. That's a cool name because I'm a common denominator.

[Nick Mullen]

The common denominator. And you got like division signs all over your suit. I'm trying to divide Batman or whatever. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Algorithm.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I'm an Al. Yeah, the algorithm.

[Zach Amico]

The algorithm.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's his name. That's like Edward Nigma. He's Algorithm.

[Zach Amico]

Algorithm Here. Oh, Edward Nigma.

[Lamar Lee]

That was the bad guy in the new Space Jam movie. Was Algorithm.

[Zach Amico]

Algorithm.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, it was Don Cheeto. Was the algorithm.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, nice. Yeah. No, she was hot.

[Nick Mullen]

Where?

[Zach Amico]

They don't say where she's from. Rachel, what's her name Ally?

[Nick Mullen]

Y.

[Lamar Lee]

How many?

[Nick Mullen]

She didn't want your fans doxing her.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, how? Like they'll do it anyway. All they need to do is they need to see a couple things in the room. They're going to be able to figure it out. This shouldn't have given that much information.

[Lamar Lee]

She lives in a closet or New York City.

[Zach Amico]

You think so? Why, why do you say that?

[Lamar Lee]

Because there was a bed and a TV against both walls.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, this is acting like she's all high class and he's first class. You know, you gotta.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's from New York City. She wouldn't get a flight here.

[Nick Mullen]

It is crazy how some people can do that. They're like, oh yeah, look at the square door handle. Yeah, that's funny.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's a real thing that they do. They can take the part of the world.

[Nick Mullen]

Middlesex, Delaware, right there for sure. They only made door handles.

[Lamar Lee]

You know what's weird? There's like oh, down south they only use Samsung TVs up here there's more LGs like it's kind of like.

[Nick Mullen]

What? That's not. There's no way that's true.

[Lamar Lee]

What kind of TV is that?

[Zach Amico]

Tcl.

[Lamar Lee]

Oh, that's cheap. That's a Walmart Jones.

[Zach Amico]

It's just a. You know, it's lg.

[Lamar Lee]

It's lg.

[Zach Amico]

Is it an lg?

[Lamar Lee]

No, it's TC Sooku tv.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, I mean look, she's pretty hot. She seems fun and sweet.

[Lamar Lee]

You didn't get to see her cunt. So she's disqualified.

[Zach Amico]

Come on, dude. Why do you gotta be such a pig?

[Lamar Lee]

I thought that's what you said. It is.

[Zach Amico]

It's a cunt test. Oh, you're right. Actually. Yeah. Ladies, you have to show me pictures of your cunt and then I'll decide. This is just the first. This is just the first video. This is the first round. You're right. Round two is gonna be pictures of their cunts.

[Lamar Lee]

Okay.

[Nick Mullen]

I didn't know Colin was getting married.

[Zach Amico]

Colin's getting married?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

That's crazy. I didn't know I couldn't. I mean, I don't want to. Good for him. Congratulations. Yeah, I didn't know he had even.

[Zach Amico]

Relationships and yeah, you know, he doesn't really bring her around much.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she's sweet girl though. I met her a couple times.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's fun. No, no, she's American. Yeah, well, American over American, over Irish. Have you ever seen an Irish woman?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, dude, some of them are babes, dude. I love the red hair, bro.

[Nick Mullen]

It would be nice if he was marrying a. A Just a girl version of him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's a shitty accent. It's a. Yeah. That part of the world does not produce many hot women. They're too freckly, too pale. That's the.

[Lamar Lee]

I like, though.

[Zach Amico]

You like a freckly pale?

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I do. I like to see their blood move through their veins.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. They're all blue. You see, like, the blue veins in their stomach.

[Nick Mullen]

Are we gonna get Greenland? Is that ours soon?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. They're trying to take Canada. Right? Isn't it?

[Nick Mullen]

But if. If we take. I might. I might want a piece of that. People are like, oh, this crazy wants to take Greenland. That's like. That's the one thing where. So far, where I'm like, that would be pretty cool, actually.

[Zach Amico]

You heard when we're a kid that Greenland. Greenland is icy, and Iceland's.

[Nick Mullen]

It is. But there's areas around the. The, like, coast. I would love if you didn't have to get like a. Like a. I don't know how international travel works. Yeah, whatever the. You need to. If I. If I could just go to Greenland, whatever the. Is there, because it's way up there.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I don't know anything.

[Nick Mullen]

It's like going to the North Pole.

[Lamar Lee]

I think Trump's doing it for conquest. But, like, the reasons he's doing it is because, like, he's just, like, already. Like, we already take care of most of their security. We're already, like, paying for them to exist.

[Zach Amico]

But is that a real thing? Is it is a real conversation? Because I don't pay attention to politics at all, but it's an actual, real conversation. He's trying to take Canada.

[Lamar Lee]

No, he's trying to buy Switch Greenland from the Danish government.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Greenland.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah. Oh, and Canada. He's like, we already help you guys. You guys should just join us. Yeah, he's not trying to take him, but whoever's after Trudeau might be a American implant, you know?

[Zach Amico]

I think so.

[Nick Mullen]

A micro implant. I've been very interested about these micro penis implants.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we're gonna wrap this. This has been fun. Such a fun show. You guys are the best. Go support Lamar.

[Nick Mullen]

You gotta plug. You gotta plug your coffee. Oh, sorry.

[Zach Amico]

We don't talk about it. Saul. Saul. All behind the scenes.

[Nick Mullen]

All right. Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's all good. Sorry, you guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The show is brought to you by coffee. A black lady brings it to you three times an episode.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I got an idea for a coffee, but it's. It's made so it's perfect for putting your. Your donut in. And it's called Duncan Coffee.

[Lamar Lee]

Holy.

[Nick Mullen]

And no one's thought of it before, but the best part is Indian employees.

[Zach Amico]

You guys are the best. Thank you guys for watching. We are. We're back this whole week. A lot. A lot of fun new guests on the show. Now that I. I've relieved Shannon of her solo booking.

[Nick Mullen]

We got Hawk Tua coming up.

[Zach Amico]

We should get this. Coming up. Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

I've got a real bone to pick with Hawk, too.

[Zach Amico]

I got a boner to pick with her.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, that's my problem.

[Zach Amico]

What's the problem?

[Nick Mullen]

I don't think you should be able to get famous for sucking dick.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And then never do it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she should just. That should be her podcast. When she said the Hawk to a podcast was coming, I was like, just her blowing.

[Nick Mullen]

You can be famous for sucking dick, but you can't just be in a video where you're like, I'm the best at sucking dick. And then they give you millions of dollars. And then people are like, wait a minute.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm surprised no guy has come forward to review it.

[Nick Mullen]

Right. She should get canceled.

[Lamar Lee]

Well, you know, the first.

[Nick Mullen]

There should be a man that's like, I have to say something.

[Zach Amico]

So she could. Cancer. Actually, the first two mouths.

[Nick Mullen]

I wouldn't go that far.

[Lamar Lee]

The first episodes of her podcast were her trying to find Pookie, who's her boyfriend, and now she has to suck Pookie.

[Nick Mullen]

Who's Pookie?

[Lamar Lee]

Her boyfriend.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh. So she was like. She did a contest.

[Lamar Lee]

Yeah, she did a contest to find Pookie. Now she has to suck Pookie.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. She has a very interesting voice.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, she's. She's talentless and.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, aren't we all?

[Zach Amico]

Then she did a.

[Nick Mullen]

It's not like we're.

[Zach Amico]

She did a crypto rug pull. I really wanted to watch her actually go to jail for that, but I don't think there's any like it, is there?

[Nick Mullen]

By the grace of God, go you with the crypto rug pull.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't. I think it's just someone here stopped you from doing that.

[Zach Amico]

What, doing crypto?

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, for sure. There's no way. You weren't there.

[Zach Amico]

No, people tried to get me to do, like, a coin forever, and I. I don't know enough about it to do something like that. But why? If you have an idea, you do.

[Lamar Lee]

The New Orleans gang fest you got. You can only buy stuff With Skank Coin.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm excited about that. I'm glad it's in New Orleans.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah, dude. We're gonna have a blast. Even though nobody's been announced yet.

[Nick Mullen]

No more shitty Vegas.

[Zach Amico]

So maybe, maybe, you know, ixnay on the announcements, Nick, what does that mean? We haven't announced anybody on Skankfest yet, so who knows who's going to be there?

[Nick Mullen]

I didn't say anybody was going to be there.

[Zach Amico]

No, I know.

[Lamar Lee]

I heard Dave Chappelle was going to be there.

[Nick Mullen]

Listen, now he's doing it. Yell at him, not me.

[Zach Amico]

We also, guys, couple things. Yes. Gang fest pre sale, January 29, 1pm Eastern. You get your pre sale tickets. It'll include the kickoff parties. The only way to get into the kickoff party is to get those pre sale tickets. And you get a discount on the actual weekend in general. So it's. You get more for less, which is an incredible deal. And also I'm filming a new Special in July, July 12, in Tampa, Florida at Side Splitters. I'm very excited. I've been working very hard on it.

[Nick Mullen]

You're gonna say no, and there's no way to do it, I think. But you should do a secret illegal show at the abandoned Six Flags for skanks.

[Zach Amico]

Where's the abandoned Six Flags?

[Nick Mullen]

There's an abandoned Six flags in the 9th Ward. I went to. This is like 11, 13 years ago at this point maybe. But it was destroyed during Katrina. And because Six Flags had opened the park like maybe eight years prior, they had a 75 year lease with the city. So after the hurricane, the park, they go in and it's totaled. And Six Flags tried to get out of their lease and New Orleans was like, no, we need the fucking money. They're like, great, enjoy your fucking eyesore. And they never did. They never rebuilt the park.

[Zach Amico]

They never did anything.

[Nick Mullen]

So it's just this giant. And we went in. I forget it was in another festival that was in, but I went in, me and Adam and then some other people, we went into the park and like, you can go.

[Zach Amico]

You just walk in.

[Nick Mullen]

You can go. It's one of the coolest things I've ever done. It's like Silent Hill.

[Zach Amico]

That's. That's really cool.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I climbed up to the top of a roller coaster.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, it's just like, you could just. Yeah, like just all climbing all up that. That's awesome.

[Lamar Lee]

It's being horrified nature.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. I put. I put this girl on that, you know, the boat that goes this way. And I got enough I got enough momentum going, I would just go back and forth, and I had her, like, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, it was awesome.

[Zach Amico]

That is fun. Maybe we will. All right. You guys are the best guys. Thank you for watching. We'll check you on Wednesday with Dan Soder and column Turo. Speaking of column. All right, until then, good night.