0029. Dan Soder and Colum Tyrrell

Summary

The Luis and Zac Show – Episode 0029: Featuring Dan Soder and Colum Tyrrell

Release Date: January 19, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In episode 0029 of The Luis and Zac Show, hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico dive deep into a whirlwind of topics, bringing in comedic heavyweights Dan Soder and Colum Tyrrell as guests. The discussion is a blend of personal anecdotes, pop culture references, and unfiltered humor, characteristic of the show's signature style.

Fasting Fiasco and Health Hacks

The episode kicks off with Zach candidly sharing his rigorous fasting journey:

Zach Amico [01:06]: "I'm 68 hours into my 72-hour fast and I'm just... I don't feel things that people normally feel. So it's pretty sick."

However, his plans hit a snag when Karen inadvertently disrupts his fasting state with a misleading electrolyte drink:

Zach Amico [02:25]: "50 calories, 11 grams of carbs. You ruined my autophagy, Karen."

Muttering about extending his fast to 76 hours, Zach humorously laments the interruption:

Zach Amico [02:45]: "I'm adding an extra... I might even add another like 12 hours. Maybe wait till tomorrow morning to eat."

Guest Spotlight: Dan Soder’s Green Screen Woes

Dan Soder makes his debut on the show, initially grappling with technical issues:

Dan Soder [02:13]: "The green screen fucks everything up for me now."

Zach playfully teases Dan about his attire and appearance, setting a lighthearted tone for his participation.

Nostalgia Over Pogs and Comic Books

The conversation shifts to childhood memories, with the trio reminiscing about playing Pogs and collecting comic books:

Zach Amico [09:01]: "They did it again."

Dan Soder [11:19]: "There were higher quality pogs."

They dive into the intricacies of Pog gameplay and the cultural significance of Pogs during their youth, highlighting the blend of simplicity and competitiveness that made the game a staple among their generation.

Pop Culture Deep Dive: SNL Sketches and OJ Simpson

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around classic Saturday Night Live (SNL) sketches related to OJ Simpson, reflecting on how these sketches influenced public perception and comedy during the 90s:

Colum Tyrrell [06:09]: "Coneheads debuted on Saturday Night Live."

Dan Soder [07:02]: "I don't remember that sketch at all."

The guests analyze the satirical takes on OJ Simpson's trial and its impact on comedy, intertwining personal anecdotes about their parents' fascination with the trial.

Public Transport and Cultural Observations

Luis and the guests explore observations about public transportation systems, contrasting their experiences in New York and London:

Zach Amico [28:39]: "They made it."

Luis J. Gomez [28:46]: "You've never felt a woman?"

The discussion meanders through the efficiency of public transit, the universality of travel frustrations, and humorous takes on cultural differences in commuting.

Road Rage Chronicles

A heated segment features stories of road rage, where Zach and Dan recount intense encounters on the road, blending humor with the underlying tension of such incidents:

Zach Amico [63:25]: "I've been very guilty of having road rage."

Dan Soder [64:41]: "We were going from a bonfire to skanks, and he drove, and this guy cut him off..."

These anecdotes highlight the often absurd and exaggerated nature of road rage, showcasing the hosts' ability to find humor in relatable frustrations.

Relationships and Personal Stories

The conversation takes a personal turn as the hosts share tales of past relationships, infusing them with raw honesty and comedic flair:

Zach Amico [74:53]: "When me and Kim were together... we got into the biggest fight we've ever got into..."

These stories delve into the complexities of relationships, conflicts, and the growth that follows, all delivered with the show's trademark unapologetic humor.

Audience Engagement and Contests

Towards the end of the episode, Luis and Zach introduce a contest inviting listeners to participate in Colum Tyrrell's wedding. They encourage fans to submit videos explaining why they'd make a great date, blending interactive elements with their comedic narratives.

Closing Remarks and Future Episodes

Wrapping up, the hosts briefly mention upcoming shows and thank their sponsor, emphasizing their commitment to providing uncensored and engaging comedy content.

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Notable Quotes

• Zach Amico [01:06]: "I'm 68 hours into my 72-hour fast... it's pretty sick."
• Dan Soder [02:13]: "The green screen fucks everything up for me now."
• Zach Amico [09:01]: "They did it again."
• Zach Amico [63:25]: "I've been very guilty of having road rage."
• Zach Amico [74:53]: "When me and Kim were together... we got into the biggest fight..."

Conclusion

Episode 0029 of The Luis and Zac Show is a testament to the dynamic chemistry between the hosts and their guests. Through a blend of personal stories, cultural commentary, and unfiltered humor, Luis, Zac, Dan, and Colum deliver an engaging and entertaining episode that resonates with both long-time listeners and newcomers alike.

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For more episodes and updates, subscribe to The Luis and Zac Show on your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Dan Soder]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[Zach Amico]

You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko, red dot, head shot, he a sniper.

[Zach Amico]

The Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper. And it came to attack, spilling crack on the track. Oh, what? Yeah, boys, it's your boy Lucia Gomez, Puerto Rican rattles the king of things pork. On podcasting. You know what the up. You know what time is. It's a Wednesday. I'm here with the international stars Zach and Mika. What's up, kid?

[Colum Tyrrell]

Good morning, buddy.

[Zach Amico]

How are you feeling? Pretty good.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Feeling good.

[Zach Amico]

My, my. I'm 68 hours into my 72 hour fast and I'm just. I don't know if it's not that I'm hungry. I think my body is dead inside now. So I just don't feel things that people normally feel. So it's pretty sick.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Do you have your plan what you're going to break it with? Are you going to do slow?

[Zach Amico]

Well, actually I'm going four hours more now. I'm going to do a 76 hour fast because face. Karen gave me AIDS. She gave me AIDS. No, she. She gave me whatever what it's called that I had for my electrolytes yesterday.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Liquid IV.

[Zach Amico]

Liquid IV. Fucking 50 calories, 11 grams of carbs. I didn't realize that until after I drank it. So I feel like I got out of autophagy, so now I'm just giving myself a few more hours. Anyway, folks, we got a great show planned. Two guests. One of them is running late, but he should be here momentarily. Hopefully. But you guys know him and love him. From the Soder podcast and one fourth of the regs. Probably the number one fucking super show in the world. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

Hi.

[Zach Amico]

Making his Lewis and Zach debut. Sup, kid?

[Dan Soder]

The green screen fucks everything up for me now.

[Zach Amico]

You look good, dude. You look.

[Dan Soder]

You know, Shannon was like, don't wear green. All I wanted to do was wear green.

[Zach Amico]

If you would have painted yours wore.

[Dan Soder]

The green man suit. I'm not here.

[Zach Amico]

We have a great show planned. I'm very excited. Shout out to everyone in the racist live [e-mail]. if you guys are watching this live, it's because you're a subscriber. You guys should also subscribe. It's the number one way you can support the show. We're the only free speech comedy network on the planet. There's some fucking Nazi ass alt right comedy Networks that are like, doing some fucking heavy political shit. That's not what we do. We're fucking comedy. We're funny. We got 20 shows on the network. Let me tell you something. They're literally. We're in a category of fucking one. If you want uncensored ad free, you don't want to worry about censorship from YouTube and all these other platforms. You. Gas Digital's got you covered. Go there, use that promo code, Laz. Get yourself a $50 off a month, which is fucking huge. And you can support the show and watch uncensored ad free content and join the racist live chat. Karen, I gave you employee of the month, and I'm taking it back.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, Karen, thank you so much.

[Zach Amico]

Karen, I'm taking back your employee of the month.

[Dan Soder]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Because you fucking. Oh, nothing for me. I guess nobody texted me if I want something.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, because you gave me liquid IV.

[Zach Amico]

50 gram, 50 calories, 11 grams of carbs. You ruined my autophagy, Karen.

[Dan Soder]

What is autophagy?

[Zach Amico]

You fucked up my autophagy. Now we're gonna. I'm literally putting you to work at the Jamaican slave Castle when we go. Just so you know, you're gonna be cooking breakfast for us.

[Dan Soder]

What is the pancakes?

[Colum Tyrrell]

It is, I guess.

[Dan Soder]

What is autophagy?

[Zach Amico]

It's where your body. It actually means in Greek to eat oneself. My body's eating itself, but it's. I'm regenerating cells. I'm getting rid of all my bad gut bacteria.

[Dan Soder]

You are on the cusp of, like, quoting, putting stoicism quotes on your Instagram. You are so close to being that.

[Zach Amico]

Look how lean I am right now.

[Dan Soder]

I said that when you walked into that Superman shirt. I said you look like the Stefan version of Sloth. You're Slough.

[Zach Amico]

Stefan is great.

[Dan Soder]

Hola, you guys. Hey, you guys. Hey, you guys. I want to your parents.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I want a baby root. A baby root would be delicious right now.

[Dan Soder]

Slafon chunk. Oh, no. He got them cheeks. Yeah, I. I lawyer.

[Zach Amico]

I realize I cannot wear this shirt. It's very. I forgot the sloth even wore this shirt.

[Dan Soder]

But, dude, now you're kind of big. You look great. You're, like, in shape. You don't look. You just look like you're wearing.

[Zach Amico]

I look a little over.

[Dan Soder]

You're wearing a retarded man's jersey.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I am. I'm wearing a retarded man's costume.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, there I am.

[Zach Amico]

That sloth looks like mine and Zach's baby.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude, that's the Zach. And that's the Zach and Lewis Show. Right there.

[Zach Amico]

Right there, Shannon. That needs to be the new logo.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Give me a pair of red suspenders. Look at that.

[Dan Soder]

Sloth was a real ass. Dude turned on his criminal family.

[Zach Amico]

Who played sloth. Do we know? I never. I never thought about it. Was it a famous person?

[Dan Soder]

No, it's like the guy in the Predator suit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And it was a mask. Right. He didn't really look.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Not John Claude Van Damme, who didn't.

[Dan Soder]

Like it because he was in a suit. But yeah, I think it was just. Yeah, there is. This is the guy some Pollock.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Oh, he's a football player.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, there.

[Dan Soder]

He's a big boy.

[Zach Amico]

John Matuszak.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, Matus. I've heard that name, I just didn't never seen it spelled.

[Zach Amico]

Fucking Matusak. Hell yeah. That sucks. To get be one of the most famous characters of all time and just not be recognizable.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He never got any other work. Did he get other work, Shannon? All right, so look, the creak of.

[Dan Soder]

The mic was the best part.

[Zach Amico]

Before we even get. Before we even. Before we even get into today's show, let's find out what we're up against. Shannon, what are we up against? In 1977, Columbus died and went to heaven. No, I knew you were going to say heaven. Okay. I don't know. I'm not sure. Coneheads debuted on Saturday Night Live. Oh, look at that, man.

[Dan Soder]

Have you watched SNL from 75 to 80? You're like cocaine influenced a lot of this, dude.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I watched an SNL sketch from the 90s. I couldn't believe it was a Tim Meadows OJ sketch.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, where he did the drawing on.

[Colum Tyrrell]

The notes where he's burying his money. Have you seen this?

[Dan Soder]

No, I thought I saw the one where he writes, I did it on the telescope.

[Zach Amico]

They were. They were so funny and edgy and they really went there back in the.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Day, this, it was. So the bit was that they had followed him to see him like taking like bags of money out of his bank. He's like, I got no money, I'm broke. And he's holding a shovel covered in dollar in like twenties. And he's like, I was just walking around with my shovel and like, what? He's like, I don't even have a shovel. And then he like gets caught to the point and then he puts his hand over his mouth and just goes nurger. And everyone goes, what do you see?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They did it again.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Yeah, he dropped it full. I've never seen that clip, dude.

[Dan Soder]

I don't I don't remember that sketch at all.

[Colum Tyrrell]

It was on. It was like a compilation to be.

[Dan Soder]

That's why Norm got fired. It was for making fun of oj.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Well, because the president, NBC Dick Eversole.

[Dan Soder]

Was like, friends with oj.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, if your friend.

[Dan Soder]

But it is kind of a cool power movie.

[Zach Amico]

My mom weirdly supported oj.

[Dan Soder]

So did my dad.

[Zach Amico]

My mom was, what's up with our.

[Dan Soder]

Parents dying of substances that really were pro oj?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, maybe that was my dad. That was a link right there. They were retarded junkies.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. My dad loved OJ Because OJ is from San Francisco, like Galileo High School. So my dad was like, he's like me from the Bay Area. And then I was like, OJ. I was like 11 and I was like, OJ did that shit. My dad was like, it was the Colombians. His bitch ex wife was on cocaine.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, look, you hear all the details.

[Colum Tyrrell]

He loved OJ because he killed his ex wife.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah. Trish, you got away.

[Zach Amico]

My mom, for some reason, the OJ law got it got everybody. First of all, because there was no Internet at the time, Core TV had the cameras in the classroom.

[Dan Soder]

They were the only ones.

[Zach Amico]

I remember. There was no middle school, I think, right.

[Dan Soder]

It was in 95, 94, 95.

[Zach Amico]

I, I was in middle school. And the teachers would stop teaching and turn on the OJ trial in the classroom. They were like, you know, it's self work time, everyone. And they'd have a TV in the.

[Dan Soder]

Classroom, some forensic guy.

[Zach Amico]

It was wild, dude. And I remember we were supposed to go to a WWF house show and my mom was glued to the TV watching the OJ trial. And me, my sister and my buddy John Hickey were just furious. Like, come on, you stupid junkie.

[Dan Soder]

She's dead.

[Zach Amico]

She's. You're not going to bring her back.

[Dan Soder]

She's not coming back. And I didn't do it. They. She. That. I remember when they announced the verdict, they put it on our TVs in school.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they did that too, of course.

[Dan Soder]

And I remember like all the black kids going nuts. They were like, well, they were going nuts anyway.

[Zach Amico]

They weren't even paying attention.

[Dan Soder]

They go, what happened? Oh, OJ's also instant.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's fun.

[Dan Soder]

Double throw.

[Zach Amico]

I had an OJ Simpson slammer for my pogs.

[Dan Soder]

That's pretty sick.

[Zach Amico]

And it said, the juice is loose. And it had O.J. in a jail cell. Try to find that Shannon. Try to find the juice.

[Colum Tyrrell]

We looked at, we, we ebayed it.

[Zach Amico]

Did we ebay it.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Was it worth anything?

[Colum Tyrrell]

It was worth like $5.

[Dan Soder]

Damn it.

[Zach Amico]

I thought my mom was like, keep that kid. That's gonna be worth something one day. Yeah, my mom would always say. My mom had no idea how to make money at all.

[Dan Soder]

That bent spoon. Hold on to that.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on to that right there.

[Dan Soder]

Use it again.

[Zach Amico]

I. I would have. I'd collect comic books.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Oh, you think that belt's for your waist?

[Zach Amico]

That wasn't it, Shannon. That wasn't it.

[Dan Soder]

Your arm could be a waste.

[Zach Amico]

It was.

[Colum Tyrrell]

What if I told you your life.

[Dan Soder]

Could be a waste?

[Zach Amico]

No, no. It was a gold slammer. And it had like, almost like. I want to say serrated edges. Like a Chinese star, almost.

[Dan Soder]

They've been priming us for gambling since we were a kid.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, Pogs were awesome. Did you like Pogs?

[Dan Soder]

Love them. Loved Pogs, but I remember people would bring low.

[Zach Amico]

There it is.

[Dan Soder]

That's sick.

[Zach Amico]

That's the specific.

[Dan Soder]

That's a sick ass slam.

[Zach Amico]

I know, dude. I wish I could make into a belt buckle. Now, how cool would that be? Shannon, why don't we just buy it? I should own that.

[Dan Soder]

You're. You're acting like you got fuck you money when I got Dunkin, you're like, we got that fucking slammer. Buy a five dollar slammer.

[Zach Amico]

Buy five of them? Why not?

[Dan Soder]

I want one.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, have Karen go out in the cold and buy me an OJ slam.

[Dan Soder]

Make her win back Pogs. Karen, outside. Boom. Okay, I get that one. I get that one.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Pogs were so much fun, dude, but I didn't really, like, we played, but.

[Dan Soder]

It wasn't like there was a moment.

[Zach Amico]

You were supposed to take each other's Pogs, right? You like, flip them. You take them and they're your Pogs now.

[Dan Soder]

But we didn't do causes fights.

[Zach Amico]

Look, you got your Pogs back. That's my Pog.

[Dan Soder]

I got Bobby's World Pogs from, like, Cocoa Puffs.

[Zach Amico]

Like, dude, those are my Pogs. Dad, that's. That's my favorite Po.

[Dan Soder]

But I remember, like, they came in a cardboard thing that you just, like, pushed out of cereal. But then I took them to school. I was like, I'll play for those. And someone was like, yo, those are from a cereal.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I was like, you can't push out Pogs. You have to. Also there were cheap ones that were the ones that would, like, start peeling off.

[Dan Soder]

Those are those ones like you. The cardboard in the middle.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Bad. Yeah, you had to get.

[Colum Tyrrell]

They all come from the peel off they all had.

[Dan Soder]

You could buy them in, like, stacks that were like.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, there was. There were higher quality pogs.

[Dan Soder]

There were.

[Zach Amico]

And then there was the ones like a sheet. A sticker. It was a sticker on the, like, cardboard.

[Dan Soder]

Listen, all I'm saying, I think gambling might be illegal in New Orleans, but bring some pog.

[Zach Amico]

Gambling is not illegal in New Orleans.

[Dan Soder]

So bring pog.

[Zach Amico]

Should have a pog tournament.

[Dan Soder]

Just do high stakes pogs.

[Zach Amico]

High stakes?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude. Everyone gets.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Oh, and it's all fat ass white girls.

[Dan Soder]

Yes, Pogs.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Pogs, Pogs.

[Dan Soder]

But put high dollar value on each pog.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Ben in the jets in the race live just said pogs were gay. She had a time about. For two full minutes for that comment right there. Pogs are fucking up. We're bonding. If everyone in the room agrees that pogs are awesome and they race live, chat to all threes.

[Dan Soder]

It's like calling Santa gay.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, we're.

[Colum Tyrrell]

We'll have Justin Silver host. It's a benefit for dogs.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, it's pogs for dogs.

[Zach Amico]

Pogs for dog. Pogs. Pogs for dogs.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Paw pogs playing Pogs for pugs.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. He goes, I think I just had a straw.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Shannon, maybe buy me that. That slammer. That would be a lot of fun.

[Dan Soder]

30 bucks.

[Zach Amico]

My mom wasn't wrong.

[Dan Soder]

It's rare.

[Zach Amico]

She wasn't wrong.

[Dan Soder]

What was the value? What do you think you paid for in nine?

[Zach Amico]

Probably four or five bucks. Five bucks. Maybe you'd go to, like, there'd be like, comic book stores and that's where you'd get the pugs.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Shout out Deceptions and Aurora.

[Zach Amico]

And then I would buy. I own maybe seven comic books. I was like, I'm gonna start collecting comics and I only got to like, seven.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I never wanted to read them either. I know the attention span to read a comic book. I don't know how to go. I didn't go. Go across. Go down. What do we. What is this thing?

[Dan Soder]

Follow the bubbles, man.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know, dude.

[Dan Soder]

I just realized by saying the comic book store that I grew up going to sounds like a sex store. It was called Deceptions. And you're like, what was I buying? Lacey under Deceptions, Colorado, they had a full xenomorph. Full fucking alien.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know what that is.

[Dan Soder]

Alien. The giant alien from the movie Alien.

[Zach Amico]

It's called the Xenomorph. Yeah. I don't really remember the movie Alien that much.

[Dan Soder]

It's great. It's a great franchise.

[Zach Amico]

Should watch it. I did. My son is doing magic now. Which I remember.

[Dan Soder]

It's me.

[Zach Amico]

There we go. There you are. I. I remember one time, I do. When I was like, maybe 11, I used to work at this hair salon and I. That was like one of my first jobs.

[Dan Soder]

And a little stylist.

[Zach Amico]

A little what.

[Dan Soder]

What can I do for you?

[Zach Amico]

I am Sloven. So there was a comic book shop nearby, and I was. And there was also like a little place called Knickknacks too. And Knickknacks was like, you know, pranks and magic tricks and they would like. It was kind of a weird little, like, knickknack shop that was kind of fun. And I would spend all my money on magic tricks there. And then the comic book shop, dude, they fucking. They had a sign in the window. They were like, magic tournament today. And I was like, what? Oh, it's perfect.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, dude, you didn't realize, dude, I.

[Zach Amico]

Showed up with my tricks.

[Dan Soder]

With your eyeliner on. You had your mom. You waited for your mom was sober to do your eyeliner. And then you're like, I'm here.

[Zach Amico]

I showed up and then it was a Magic the Gathering tournament.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that sucks.

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, oh, yeah, I knew that. And then I had to buy a bunch of Magic the Gathering cards to save face and not look like a jerk off. But then I got into Magic the Gathering.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, you did?

[Zach Amico]

I got into it, yeah. Because. But that was how I got into Magic the Gathering.

[Dan Soder]

What was the feeling like on your way there? If you can put yourself back in your brain on the walk thinking it was an actual magic turn?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I was ready to fucking mystify. I was ready to go out and just fucking impress everyone with my store bought shitty magic tricks.

[Dan Soder]

I love it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, my son, he's got a. He's got a whole magic collection now. Like, and he's like, you know, really getting into it. I told me. And then he told me. He was like, dad, I have a confession to make.

[Dan Soder]

He's like, dabbling in the dark arts.

[Zach Amico]

He's like, I. I taught a couple kids in school some magic tricks because I told him, you can't tell anybody. I was like, this is the thing.

[Dan Soder]

And it's been working with a who With a Haitian voodoo doctor dude.

[Zach Amico]

He.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I wonder where he learned that.

[Dan Soder]

Beatrice's new boyfriend.

[Zach Amico]

So he.

[Dan Soder]

Bring back the dead tonight. Little James.

[Zach Amico]

So now he's got two other friends that he's like, there is apprentices in mag in school. He's teaching them Magic.

[Dan Soder]

A little coven, but that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

He's a witch.

[Dan Soder]

He's a little witch.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna buy him a pointy hat. Warlock.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Light is feather, stiff as a board.

[Zach Amico]

That is funny. There are, like, legitimately, like. So who said this? Was this a joke or somebody. Somebody made this point. Might have been a chick I was talking to, but, like, might have just been some.

[Dan Soder]

I rolled off of.

[Zach Amico]

Young girls. Young girls.

[Dan Soder]

Was this a bit. Did someone say this? Or did I come on a lady? And then she remark to this, young.

[Zach Amico]

Girls will call themselves witches, but there's no, like, teenage boys being like, I'm a warlock.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that sounds like a bit. Yeah, it sounds like a cool.

[Zach Amico]

It is a fun, fun woman bit.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Some females. Some female comic that I'm like a.

[Dan Soder]

Penetrating, you know, Lewis, if you think about it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, so. So SNL's falling off completely. Did you guys watch SNL movie? No, I didn't watch it either yet. I kind of want to watch it, though.

[Dan Soder]

I want to watch it because I heard Chevy Chase was, like, pissed about it.

[Zach Amico]

Why is he pissed?

[Dan Soder]

I don't know. He gets pissed about everything. That's usually good. Yeah, that's how you follow it.

[Zach Amico]

He seems kind of like a cunt, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I think it's pretty documented that he's a giant.

[Zach Amico]

Is he a giant?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Colum Tyrrell]

He seems pretty insufferable.

[Dan Soder]

Like, Donald Glover, after he started. Stopped working on Community, was like, he sucked.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, really?

[Dan Soder]

Like, really? And.

[Zach Amico]

But he wrapped it.

[Dan Soder]

He's like, yo. Is the whole song. It's called this Is America. You might have heard it.

[Colum Tyrrell]

But the black leading Community walked off set because he was dropping and bombs.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, Chevy Chase might be Lewis's favorite new comic.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I didn't realize that. That's not a bad thing.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, but he's, like, always been a problem.

[Zach Amico]

It's the only thing that I like about David Cross is that he went to that chick on set and he was like, ching Chong. Ching Chong. Ching Chong.

[Dan Soder]

She's reading her script and she goes, yeah, excuse me, I'm from Seattle.

[Zach Amico]

But that girl was also a problem where she came out, like, multiple times.

[Dan Soder]

She's done it too many times.

[Colum Tyrrell]

She did it to him. She did it to Marilyn Manson.

[Zach Amico]

And I think these are all problematic people. But the third time, it was like, ching chong Chang.

[Colum Tyrrell]

She said.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, wow. It's either like, by the third time, there was a heavy sigh. Yeah. Where she goes, you know who else was mean to me? And you're like, shut up. Were they just Shut up.

[Zach Amico]

Who cares? People are mean.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I.

[Zach Amico]

This is the thing about old Hollywood that rules is, like, people could be mean. Now there's, like, all these people on set. You gotta. I mean, do whatever. When I got miked up on Louie's movie, it was. It was a Louis CK movie, which is crazy.

[Dan Soder]

Maybe after. It was after.

[Zach Amico]

And maybe. Maybe it was because they were conscious of who Louie was. But, like, they were like, listen, we're gonna put this microphone down your chest. Is that okay? I'm like, just do it. I'm hard.

[Dan Soder]

Please, can I take you in a room and jerk off in front of.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they were like.

[Dan Soder]

They.

[Zach Amico]

They made. They were like, we're gonna touch you now. We're gonna put our hands. They had to, like, go through, like, these motions. I. I've never been in other sets in modern times, I guess they kind.

[Dan Soder]

Of do that, but not as much as that. They go like, I'm just gonna drop the mic down. They usually just say something.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Usually first day, you get the rigamarole. And then once you know them, then.

[Dan Soder]

If you know the person by name, you go, hey, Dave. And then, like, drop it down your shirt.

[Zach Amico]

Louis sat there like. Like, please don't cancel me.

[Dan Soder]

Please don't.

[Zach Amico]

Please. I just. I need this job.

[Dan Soder]

Taking a real. That made me really laugh.

[Zach Amico]

22 grand a year being a PA, please.

[Dan Soder]

When he put out the Madison Square Garden show, and he was like, thanks for coming here tonight. I know a lot of you lied to people. That really made me laugh. That was really funny.

[Zach Amico]

Louie rules.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, Louie's the best.

[Zach Amico]

He's a man. I. I did a show with him with Joe List a few weeks ago.

[Dan Soder]

Same up in Boston before Thanksgiving.

[Zach Amico]

So nerve wracking to have Louie just watching your set in a room full of 80 people. That's what it was like, a little.

[Dan Soder]

That's exactly what I went through, dude. So we did a jazz club up in, like, Cambridge, and I was up there because Katie's family and list was like, come do this show. The night before Thanksgiving. It was. And then we just sat on the side of the stage and watched each other's sets.

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, please, Louie, can you go to the bathroom right now? Yeah, but it's fine. I do a bit where I essentially molest the man in my act. I play with his dick. And he's like. He comes with me after that, he's like, you do that every show.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, dude, I did that in real life. And that's pretty crazy. You do that. He. His new Hour is so good.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he's the best dude. So funny.

[Dan Soder]

His new. He's got like three bits that are like classic Louis bits that I watched and do that are new, that you're like, these are so.

[Zach Amico]

Just the best. Just the bomb diggity, as they say. So I'm starving. What am I gonna break my fast with? I think my. My sister made a big pot of stew. This is what poor people do now. They just have a giant crock pot of different stews. And people.

[Dan Soder]

Poor people know how to make stews, though. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I'm excited about it. Just beef and gravy. Carrots. I think it might be dog potatoes. Maybe Alpo.

[Dan Soder]

She just microwaved Alpo. She's like, I'm getting you back for all those years. Are you going to have a big chunk of bread with it?

[Zach Amico]

No bread. No, no, no. I'm fucking.

[Dan Soder]

That's the best part of stew, is taking the chunk of bread and dipping.

[Zach Amico]

I have a little bit of a gluten thing. I don't want to say I have celiac's disease, but I might have celiac's disease.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Silly hack.

[Zach Amico]

Silly hack disease.

[Dan Soder]

It's a great name.

[Zach Amico]

I can't write a joke.

[Dan Soder]

Silly hacks.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a silly hack. No, I. I might have celiac disease. Every time I eat bread or pasta, I break out in hives and my stomach feels like it's rumbling and tumbling and it hurts. Feels like there's.

[Dan Soder]

Do you ever think you're just a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

I watched south park last night with James and on Comedy Central on hbo.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, damn. I was wondering if we crossed paths because I always go to bed to South Park.

[Zach Amico]

Loves that.

[Dan Soder]

They did the Ginger episode, and I forgot how funny it is.

[Zach Amico]

We did the episode where they were saving the. The veal.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah, that.

[Zach Amico]

Which is such a funny episode. And I just forgot the ending of it. It's like he's breaking out in hives and you're like, what's going. Does he have some sort of, like, mad cow disease or something? They don't say anything for the whole episode. And then it's the last scene and they're like, yeah, these are tiny vaginas that have sort of opening up because he's not eating meat.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

At one point you'll turn into a huge vagina. But they're the best, so fucking.

[Dan Soder]

I want to go to a Costa Nita.

[Zach Amico]

I know. Me too. I'm trying to do it. Let's plan it to. Why don't we want a Comic strip.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, dude, I would love to go. I'm just from there. So I can just plan for the next time I'm there.

[Zach Amico]

But you can't because there's a waiting list that's six months long. Brother, you got the connection.

[Dan Soder]

I think. I ain't got a guy in our van. You got a guy that knows a guy in Littleton.

[Zach Amico]

No way.

[Dan Soder]

That knows a guy in Conifer that went to high school with Trey.

[Zach Amico]

Well, you met the undertaker. What if he's your guy?

[Dan Soder]

He's like, lose my number, Dan. Rest in peace, leave me alone.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that. I mean, that'd be great. Do you have. You have an actual in. You think?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, but I. There are people I could ask that I know are, like, in the peripheral of. But I want to go to degrees.

[Zach Amico]

It's not that bad.

[Dan Soder]

It's not that hard to get in now. I don't think it's as tough as people make it.

[Zach Amico]

My friend bought tickets. I believe he's not going to March because he couldn't get until March.

[Dan Soder]

Shit.

[Zach Amico]

And he lives there.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Huh.

[Zach Amico]

It was a weekend. It's hard to get in.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. We could probably go, like, Tuesday at a fucking. At 1pm go. It's.

[Zach Amico]

You look this up. Instead of us pontificating and wondering what it is. Can you see if we can get tickets right now to Casa Bonita?

[Dan Soder]

It sucks.

[Zach Amico]

Or if you need tickets or it's a reservation.

[Dan Soder]

The food sucked so bad when I was.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, look, there's. It's open all over the place.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. See what I mean? Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

They're failing.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I think you're just March.

[Zach Amico]

Well, go back. Go back to this month, Shannon.

[Dan Soder]

I think your friend might have lied to you. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. We could go today.

[Zach Amico]

We can go today.

[Dan Soder]

You want to fly to DIA and go to fucking Costa Nina for dinner?

[Zach Amico]

Get out of town.

[Colum Tyrrell]

No, we can't.

[Zach Amico]

There's no availability. Hold on.

[Dan Soder]

Why does it look open?

[Zach Amico]

Premium. Ooh. All right. We don't have to do three days in a row. Go a week from now, Shannon. Let's see next week. No, there's not. It's not that easy, Dan.

[Dan Soder]

All right, I take it back there was. When you used to go to Caspanita as a kid. It felt like. Did you ever go to an indoor water park where there's, like, water slides inside?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, there's one in Jersey. There's one in the mall of.

[Dan Soder]

The ceiling was how Caspanita felt with food.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Just chlorine and food.

[Dan Soder]

It just Felt like this, like fucking. You just like smelled chemicals and you just ran. But it was fun to run around Black Bart's cave. The. The well where you got the wishing well.

[Zach Amico]

That's also the funniest episode of south park or one of Dude.

[Dan Soder]

It made me like, you know the Leo, him pointing at the tv.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

When I watched that episode, I was living in Arizona. He's like, casper needed. They also did that with Al Gore. Cave of the winds is a real place. Yeah, you can go.

[Zach Amico]

South park fucking rules. Like they. So I'm not. We find out Butter's family is from Hawaii. Yeah. So I hit up Jade from the stand and I was like, you have to watch this episode. Tell me how accurate this is. She hit me up like two hours later. She's like, that is crazy.

[Dan Soder]

It is.

[Zach Amico]

So how everybody, like all the white people from Hawaii, like, Hawaii, Hawaii, Hawaii.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They did it. Yeah. Fucking that. That show absolutely rules.

[Dan Soder]

Dude, that documentary is good too, about them opening Casa Bonita back up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I gotta watch it. All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Mando for supporting today's show. I love Mando. It is total body deodorant. Not just for your armpits anymore, but your balls, your grundle, your, your, your crack, your back, your, your sack everywhere. You could stink.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Zach, you're running your eyes up and down me.

[Zach Amico]

I'm. Zach's got a lot of pussies all over his body. But I'll tell you right now, it really is an incredible product. I. Right now, this is what I'm wearing. Zach. Give me a whiff. I swear to God, I'm not lying about it. I love it. It did. It works better. I was using other brands. I don't want to name the brands, but they smell good, but they don't last that long. By the end of the day, you're. It's a little bit like whatever it is. This is clinically proven to control odor for 72 hours, which is absolutely incredible. They have everything from stick deodorant to spray deodorant. That's all paraben free and it's good for the environment and they don't use it on animals. They don't do any of the cruel that other companies do to the. The animals and probably third children in third world countries. Genuinely incredible [e-mail] and really what we're talking about is the starter pack. That's where they're going to give you if you guys want to check out their line of Products, get the starter pack. It includes solid stick deodorant. It includes a cream deodorant and also two products of your choice, like the mini body wash or the deodorant wipes.

[Colum Tyrrell]

That's right. And you get free shipping. A special offer for our listeners. If you use the code LAZ at checkout, you're going to get $5 off your starter pack. That's over 40% off. I cannot put those deodorant wipes over enough. If you've been stuck in the car all day or anything like that, they really freshen you up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they're great. It's a Puerto Rican shower in a little pouch. Shopmando.com is the website. Use that promo code LAZ. $5 off the starter pack and free shipping. Let them know we brought you there. All right. Where were we? Well, anyway, lots of fun stuff to talk about today. First of all. First of all, I'll say there was a flight attendant who got fired for twerking on the job. We'll take a look at her in a second. But what I will say is, hot flight attendants are back in a big way.

[Dan Soder]

Love it.

[Zach Amico]

Whatever happened. For a few years, it was like trans fucking women with big guts and dicks and fucking beards.

[Dan Soder]

Late night hookers. You had to hit them in the crotch. It was gross.

[Zach Amico]

They, whatever was, they were hiring the ugliest people on the planet. My son's mother tried to become a flight attendant during this ugly period. And I think that's why they're like, nope, you're too pretty. Sorry. And they fucking said, keep it moving. And they hired some big fat black bitch. And that sounds like you had a.

[Dan Soder]

Personal issue with one lady.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I want to get the free flights from Beachers. How great would that have been?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, my mom, my friend's mom used to be a flight attendant for Frontier. And we used to get like buddy passes. 50 bucks you could fly somewhere.

[Zach Amico]

Well, Frontier to fly is like $63. So it wasn't.

[Dan Soder]

But you had to wear. You had to wear khakis. You weren't allowed to wear jeans.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Dan Soder]

It was a weird thing. That's all I remember about that. We got to fly to New York. I got to come to New York when I was in high school. He's like, you have to wear slacks. That. Slacks are khakis. I was like, all right.

[Zach Amico]

Was it Nate Borgatzy? He's like, hey, man, you can't get on the flat without slacks.

[Dan Soder]

And you gotta pray.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you got short. You're wearing shorts on a flight. Okay.

[Dan Soder]

The devil sees your knees. Can't be having that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude.

[Dan Soder]

So wait. Be tried to get.

[Zach Amico]

Become a flight attendant through a couple rounds of, like, the interviews and the bikini challenge.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you made my dick move. You're out of here.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they know. She. Yeah, she didn't. They didn't hire her, but everybody. It was, I think, was for JetBlue. And then I flew JetBlue, like, the next week when they didn't hire, and it was just like, these goofy fucking fat bitches, like, they can't even get through the fudgeing aisles. They're huge. They're square. They're boxy. I thought it was one of the.

[Dan Soder]

Carts you got to get.

[Zach Amico]

I was like, are you a cart?

[Dan Soder]

You got to hire a tough flight attendant if you're going to kick Khabib off a flight.

[Zach Amico]

That's true. That is true, dude.

[Dan Soder]

Something made me laugh. I sent this to Shane. Nate Diaz posted about Khabib and all of his. All of his crew, and he called him Ewoks, and it really made me laugh.

[Zach Amico]

That's hilarious.

[Dan Soder]

Just Nate Diaz talking shit, calling him Ewoks.

[Colum Tyrrell]

First of all, how far we've come as a culture that we're okay with a guy named Khabib and his friends on the plane in the first place.

[Dan Soder]

True. That's what they were like.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I'd be a little nervous at the.

[Dan Soder]

End of the article. They were like, like, he is Muslim. And everyone's like, all right, Khabib Nurmagov said that name wrong. But, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Fade off.

[Dan Soder]

But, dude, kicking him off a flight? Your sprawl better be unbelievable.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, did he fight it? Like, he didn't physically fight them, right?

[Dan Soder]

I think he, like, didn't understand. He didn't understand English. That's how they're kicking him off. They're like, you're in an exit row. You need to speak English. If you. They say that to you every time.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, is that what happened?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude.

[Zach Amico]

It's so funny because you'll have your earphones on, and you're in the exit row. They're giving you the speech. I was like, I fly every weekend, so I'm a. I'm going like, all right, got it. Like, no, no. I need a verbal confirmation. I'm like, what?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. What? Huh?

[Zach Amico]

Hi, column. Thank you for joining us.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Two podcasts in a row that I've done with Colin that he showed up a half an hour late for. Maybe you should podcast.

[Dan Soder]

You had to drive three hours to get into.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe you should not live in where the hell you live now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. I just won't do this anymore.

[Zach Amico]

No, you know, it's fine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's fine.

[Zach Amico]

It's fine, you know?

[Colum Tyrrell]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Fine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We both win.

[Dan Soder]

We both.

[Zach Amico]

It's a win win for everybody here. Welcome to the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thanks. Yeah, it was a nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

Was it. Was it bad?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they said there was a drawbridge that broke on in New Jersey. I didn't even know I went over a drawbridge.

[Dan Soder]

I didn't even know there was water.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But actually, honestly, it took so long to get in. It would have been better had they just like, been like, we're. And I could just turn around.

[Zach Amico]

Just turn around.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but it was like.

[Dan Soder]

You ever had that where you get to turn around?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Dan Soder]

It feels so good that happened.

[Zach Amico]

Naim. Last week, Naim. I mean, we were an hour and 15 minutes into the show. He's like, yo, dog, I just got to Penn Station. I was like, we're ending in 10 minutes. And he just turned right back around to go to Philly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it's fucking insane how bad public transport is. Like, I was just in London and it's just. Oh, moves quick every two minutes.

[Dan Soder]

There's no such screaming maniac.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, there's a lot of him.

[Colum Tyrrell]

No one's on fire.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, exactly. Yeah. It's just the best.

[Dan Soder]

Well, they don't know how to cook over there.

[Zach Amico]

That's true.

[Dan Soder]

Their food sucks.

[Zach Amico]

They don't know what fire is.

[Dan Soder]

That picture of that cop looking at his phone while the lady is on fire is the most American I've ever seen in my life. There's a woman, like, you know, the stunt man in the suit? She looks like.

[Zach Amico]

Like Freddy Krueger coming downstairs.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. With the st. With the steps on fire. And there's just a cop. He's on draft kings, dude, like, charges didn't cover. He's like, oh, these. I tell you what, these blacks aren't good quarterbacks.

[Zach Amico]

Show, show. Show us the Khabib getting kicked off the flag, please.

[Dan Soder]

Khabib got kicked off a flight. See this? Heard about this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They. They asked him was he okay or something.

[Dan Soder]

No, they asked him to speak English and he didn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He couldn't say yes.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he's like. I was telling them, though. What made me laugh is Nate Diaz made a post about it and he called him and his whole crew Ewoks.

[Zach Amico]

Show us this, Shannon. Show us the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He did that before.

[Dan Soder]

So funny. It's so funn it. Oh, that's his Problem. He had a woman giving him directions. That ain't the English. That's the Islam.

[Zach Amico]

She was going to have him switch seats because, first of all, it's kab.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Why is he not flying first class? I'm not, by the way.

[Dan Soder]

I think they're like, dude, if you read about him, they're like, very.

[Zach Amico]

I. I made a decision. I'm never flying first class again unless they upgrade me. I get upgraded enough that it's a waste of time and a waste of money. The seats aren't. When I was. When I was heavier, I think it was like, a little bit worse of an issue. But if you. You go, you know, I always am in the front of the plane to the certain, like, you know, row seven, row eight, something like that. Adults of comfort, United.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But he's a United boy.

[Zach Amico]

United guy. I'm a Newark buster.

[Dan Soder]

Terminal.

[Zach Amico]

Come on, dude. What? Newark?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, Newark sucks. I finally decide when they don't want to do TSA PreCheck. They just go, we're not doing it today. I like that. I don't like that.

[Zach Amico]

I don't have TSA preacher. I just have eyes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Have clear.

[Zach Amico]

I have clear. So I'm like, good. I don't give a. That I like Newark. Because now when you go to one airport enough, you know it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, I never.

[Zach Amico]

I thought when I was younger, I was like, dude, an airport is crazy. They change it. Like, they know that your flight is always sort of out of the same gates. The same ones. Ones. It's almost like a daily schedule. So if you go to the. The same places over and over again, you sort of know it. I know which way to go. Left, right. I could just navigate through the airport without looking at signs now. It's awesome. I'm weighing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you do get.

[Zach Amico]

But have you noticed that they've made. The flight attendants are hot again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are they?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they're hot again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why? Only fans is maybe just oversaturated.

[Dan Soder]

Well, maybe they let them promote their only fans.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

They go like. And if you see to our left also, if you want to sign up for my only fans, my name is Becky xxx.

[Zach Amico]

So pull up this chick that got fired for twerking. I want to see this chick.

[Dan Soder]

I'm not gonna lie, though. I think we did just come up with a great idea.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yes. Yes. What is this?

[Dan Soder]

I'll tell you right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's Delta South, United.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, it's Alaska.

[Zach Amico]

Alaska Airlines. Look at her. Hell yeah. And they fired her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But you know what? The United Arab The United Arab Emirates.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but those. Those flight attendants all don't have clits, so I can't get into the fan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, they're all whiteies.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, they're all whites.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And they only hire models.

[Zach Amico]

So she put it on her TikTok, doing a little dance, and then they saw it and they were like, you're fucking done.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How dare you act like a slut in our slutty work uniform that we force you to wear.

[Dan Soder]

Sky slut. Why are you slutty?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're slutty on the ground.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. No, no. Only in the sky may you be slutty. Take it to the ground.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The National Water Skylaw.

[Dan Soder]

You could be slutty in the sky.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Sky waitress.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Has anyone ever on a plane? You on a plane?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you have.

[Dan Soder]

I thought you meant in general.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Guys, have any of you ever actually felt a woman?

[Zach Amico]

I. In every transportation.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You on a plane?

[Dan Soder]

How did you. On a plane?

[Zach Amico]

I. Finger on the. The Roosevelt island tram. The one that's in Spider Man. Swear to God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's fine. Did she wake up? Ring, ring, ring goes the trolley.

[Dan Soder]

How did you. On a plane. Walk us through this?

[Zach Amico]

We went to the bathroom.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

United together.

[Zach Amico]

No, I went first, and then I said, meet me in there in a minute.

[Dan Soder]

I'll go.

[Zach Amico]

And just, like, be in. And then we made sure nobody was there.

[Dan Soder]

How long ago is this?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, 12 years ago, maybe.

[Dan Soder]

And so I feel like 13, 14 years ago, maybe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

These are lying.

[Zach Amico]

Why would I lie?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cheating at the time.

[Zach Amico]

No, it was.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Yeah, I'm gonna say it was 20, 28 years ago. That he's doing the math, means it's correct, and he's just making sure.

[Dan Soder]

Did you, like, watch for a flight attendant?

[Zach Amico]

No. The plan was, if we got caught, if they knocked on the door, we were gonna say, I'm sick, and she was helping me.

[Dan Soder]

Of course. I bet you are sick with a boner.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And how long was it? Just a real quick six months.

[Dan Soder]

Just pump it in.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think. I don't think I. I nutted. I think it was just like. To do it to get you started.

[Dan Soder]

For when you land.

[Zach Amico]

What'd you say?

[Dan Soder]

Get it started for what? Prime it for.

[Zach Amico]

It was just to kind of be like, hey, let's do it. Like, let's try. I used to be a freak, dude. I used to love public sex.

[Dan Soder]

What's. Oh, yeah, we've talked about this before on the regs, but you had sex, like, on a car.

[Zach Amico]

On a cop car in the middle of like 7pm Me and Karen Feehan in Gramercy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but those cop cars are.

[Dan Soder]

Some of. There are cop cars in New York that just no one ever uses.

[Zach Amico]

Well, there was a cop inside of it. He was like. He was doing the. We got a.

[Dan Soder]

We got a 369 right here. We got a Puerto Rican.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get off the hood of the trunk.

[Zach Amico]

Get up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No intercourse on the.

[Zach Amico]

Turn around.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I will get out.

[Zach Amico]

I would know. I've had a lot of. I've had a lot of public sex. We're here. We would. Those were like, my real scummy years, like, when me and Karen were together. So I'd be like, hey, let me just. We'd be in a Chinese deli. I was like, let me just fuck you in the deli. We'd go in, like, the. Like the. The aisle with like, little cans of Spam and fucking, like, things that nobody.

[Dan Soder]

Ever buys, and you just pop it in.

[Zach Amico]

I just pull their pants down and pop it in.

[Dan Soder]

But you don't have to, like, work it up. You just. Puerto Ricans just get hard like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think bad outdoors and stuff like that.

[Dan Soder]

It's the excitement, the thrill.

[Zach Amico]

The thrill. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then you don't have to be, like, good at. Because it's kind of like we're under a time crunch.

[Dan Soder]

No. Where.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not trying to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And also that's why it's even better.

[Zach Amico]

I'm just trying to get it in for a minute.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Baby, of course I'd love to make you come, but we're in a handicapped bathroom right now.

[Zach Amico]

This is a bank robbery.

[Dan Soder]

We're on a koala station table.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I don't talk about your pleasure.

[Dan Soder]

Baby, baby. This Chinese guy's coming down the aisle pretty hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They call my order.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, 14.

[Dan Soder]

14 stop in span aisle. There's no.

[Zach Amico]

There's no foreplay when you're doing it in public. You don't have to do any.

[Dan Soder]

You don't got to even get her wet.

[Zach Amico]

You just rip it into her.

[Dan Soder]

Do you. Do you guys do that crusty, sexy talk or you go, yeah, do you want to do it, man?

[Zach Amico]

No, no. Usually it's. It's me being like, come on, let's do it. She's like, no, no, you have to pull her pants down kind of against her will. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, I've had plenty of public sex, actually.

[Dan Soder]

This pins Lewis to, like, 16 rapes that they. That are open cases, Central Park. They put the map over it. They go, it was him the whole time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, A little. A little public sex.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, you know, girls jogger through the park and you run up on her, you, you say quick, quick. You put a knife through her throat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Make this easy.

[Dan Soder]

Come on, go in the bush.

[Zach Amico]

Just let me put it in. Ah.

[Dan Soder]

It used to be one of my favorite Kurt Metzger lines was when I first moved here. He had a joke about the show super sweet, my super sweet 16. And he goes, those girls deserve a raping. And I'm talking about a jump out of the bush.

[Zach Amico]

Meat and potatoes. Let me get another black coffee, Shannon, please.

[Dan Soder]

It's so funny.

[Zach Amico]

So, so this girl, Shannon, what happened with this girl? She got fired from the job. Yes. And then she started a GoFundMe to help her with her, like, new lingerie idea. What a stupid bitch. And out of the $12,000 goal, she has $182. That's it. That makes me happy.

[Dan Soder]

I thought you were about to say.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

$182,000 and we would all just believe it. Like, shoot. She, she and 2 million, we're like, see.

[Dan Soder]

182 hurts.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I feel like she just started. If she started an only fans, that would have been. There was the time she had a moment. Yeah, she had a moment. She could have started only fans, everyone would have joined it. I would have told Shannon to join right now. We would have supported this. But she's trying to do a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is there.

[Zach Amico]

She's trying to make a business out of it. No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have a question. Is there an only fans like, review page where it tells you what they're doing?

[Dan Soder]

Sometimes I see people Wikipedia for.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, just like a review of something.

[Zach Amico]

Like what?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You'll see because some. Because some people.

[Dan Soder]

3 stars. I jerked off to it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. No, no flaps.

[Zach Amico]

Well, a lot of. A lot of these gals will do like a free membership and you have to pay for like the nudes and the sexy, which. That's the way to do it. Because you're sitting there, you're beating off, you're like, ah, dude. Yeah, that's how I've been caught. Once your credit cards in only fans. Slippery slope.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, brother. You start signing up for wild shit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It can get you. It gets you one click shopping. Is that's an issue?

[Dan Soder]

It's why Amazon's so dangerous. This is Amazon with pussy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you, Cameron. I forgive you for giving me the liquid IV yesterday, by the way. It did bum me out though. I actually. It put me in a bad mood last night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you end your fast then?

[Zach Amico]

No, I Mean that it ruined technically my autophagy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It doesn't count you.

[Zach Amico]

That counts Now I'm adding an extra. I'm adding more hours. I might even go. I might even add another like 12 hours. I might wait till tomorrow morning to eat. I'm supposed to be three. 45 is when I'm supposed to eat and break my fast at.

[Dan Soder]

For the sake of the show tonight. Can you eat?

[Zach Amico]

Well, I was going to. I was definitely moving it to 7:00. So it was going to be 76 hour fast.

[Dan Soder]

Wouldn't it would that you up though, eating right before you do a show.

[Zach Amico]

So puking everywhere.

[Dan Soder]

Guys, guys. Is a bad idea. What's the worst dream you ever had? Points. Points. Double points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's trauma.

[Dan Soder]

That's trauma.

[Zach Amico]

Leaving my body.

[Dan Soder]

That weakness.

[Zach Amico]

No, I. No, I don't think it's going to be a problem. I'm going to eat some healthy food, some meat, some potatoes, a stew. Stew. I bet you got some good stews in Ireland, dude. Ireland's all. That's the best thing.

[Dan Soder]

You can eat stew in Ireland. No, it's unbelievable.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The Guinness thing is. I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

I know. It's just they do it to like get our dicks hard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, I think it's just.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, but you guys put mashed potatoes on your stew sometimes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Some people do that. The thing is everyone makes it different. Every family kind of just has their own version.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Whenever.

[Zach Amico]

It's just a bunch of poor Irish people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's whatever's about to expire. Throw it in a pot and boil the up.

[Dan Soder]

Exactly. Sweet Rosemary's is shave a little off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like zest of a lemon.

[Zach Amico]

I. I enjoy. I enjoy a stew. I enjoy a soup.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, I make a good stew.

[Dan Soder]

You know what?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I posted how to make.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, what you snacking on? Soup Edition. Let's go.

[Dan Soder]

But you don't like bread.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's. Do you not like bread?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, super. You have to have bread.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Of course he's getting it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God, Shannon. We're supposed to just tear into it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But Irish food is all. Yes, it is kind of sloppy. It's all stews. And then you get caught in the like bad rain on your way home from work. Then it warms you up. It's like. It is. It helps you get survival.

[Dan Soder]

It is just God punishing you guys. And you guys are the most devout. We love you, God. And he's like, rain. And here's your little slop bucket. And you go, Jesus Christ.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Peppered water.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, thank you, Middle Eastern Man.

[Zach Amico]

Some warm peppered.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, Middle Eastern Jews that lives in the sky.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, what are you snacking on? What are you. What are you snacking on? Soup edition. Well, if you got a snack on a soup, folks, what are you snacking on? Number one, Soup. Just a bit. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is a segment.

[Zach Amico]

This is a segment.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I mean, we were just talking about stew. Stew is great, but I. I use bread.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Baby shoe's not a soup, though.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, look, if you're.

[Dan Soder]

If you want to do soup. Tomato isn't a soup.

[Zach Amico]

Tomato. Well, hold on. Soup. A soup is anything that has liquid and chunks in a bowl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's. No, there's a scientific answer here.

[Zach Amico]

Define soup. Stew. A soup is borsch.

[Dan Soder]

A soup borsch is. Man.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, a borscht.

[Dan Soder]

A good borscht with beets. The cellar borscht in the winter.

[Zach Amico]

Those Jews can make a good borscht.

[Dan Soder]

Oy vey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Beef bognan or something. Boguignon. Some French thing.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Bolognon.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Beef bolognon bagnon.

[Dan Soder]

Just four retards trying to think of a soup.

[Colum Tyrrell]

No, I got it.

[Zach Amico]

Technically, a stew can be considered a type of soup. The key difference is that sue is generally thicker and chunkier. It's like Zach with less liquid compared to most soups where liquid is primary component. Okay. Sue is considered more specific category with a broader definition of soup.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I got my soup. French onion.

[Zach Amico]

French onion. The bread in the soup.

[Dan Soder]

Good French onion.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When you get a good one, it can come out shitty though, too.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Yeah, but if they've got the little metal pot, of course, specifically for it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not in that.

[Zach Amico]

It's usually not metal, ceramic crock pot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Usually.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the thing. You go to any diner, they have a banging ass. French onion soup. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Dude, there was this place. There was this place I went to in Milwaukee that had a French onion soup. Milwaukee, the land of prosperity. And my buddy Aiden was there opening for me, and he had never tried French onion soup. And I was like, this is the French onion soup to try.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

It was perfectly. The cheese was perfect. When you broke the layer, you got through down to the bread at the bottom. So you could.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you know what I don't like. You go to. You go to these more fancier spots. They're like, we're gonna put just one big old chunk of bread in them. In it. I want it to be little, like croutons broken up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not supposed to be just one big.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you break it up with your spoon.

[Zach Amico]

No, I want. I want it to be broken up like a diner. Like an old school diner. We just go to the Mon Ivy diner, order a French onion soup. There was a smoking section, and we'd sit there for seven hours. One soup.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Seven hours soup. The worst. French onion soup.

[Zach Amico]

Best French onion soup. Broken bread.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's like, you know what I love? When they don't make it right?

[Dan Soder]

No cheese.

[Zach Amico]

Cheese.

[Colum Tyrrell]

And then they put it on the broiler.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They use cheap ingredients.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, It's French fries.

[Dan Soder]

They put French fries. That's what makes it a French onion soup. It's French fries and onions.

[Zach Amico]

How do you feel about like a. A bisque? Like a lobster bisque? Love a biscu soup. I mean, we're being.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But there is a death. There's. Again, there's a. I. I remember googling. What's the difference between a biscuit and a soup?

[Dan Soder]

Right? I would. What about pho?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's the Asian super fuzz I.

[Zach Amico]

Don'T know if I've ever had.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's more of a broth.

[Dan Soder]

It is a broth.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But again, what's the difference?

[Zach Amico]

A ramen. A ramen. It wasn't between a ramen and a pho.

[Dan Soder]

Guys, all we're saying is we're a lot more alike than we are. Guys. This is a unite, a united.

[Zach Amico]

I love me a raw dude. I love me a ramen. Yeah, but you go to a ramen a ramen spot.

[Dan Soder]

I got a place for you in Chinatown. It's unbelievable.

[Zach Amico]

I'll never go. Chinese people are the dirtiest animals.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but it kind of. It helps with the food a little.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Coke.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You want a C rating? It's not authentic.

[Zach Amico]

You ever look at, like, a Chinese person's gums?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ugh, unfortunately, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What, are you breeding them? Why are you looking at their gums?

[Zach Amico]

Sometimes when they give me rubbing checks, their haunches. Sometimes when they give me rubbing tugs, I kiss them.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Best in show.

[Zach Amico]

Put me down.

[Dan Soder]

I stop in my spam aisle.

[Zach Amico]

Put me. Me down.

[Dan Soder]

Cameron, look at his gums. This one's ready for breeding. Like, feels his neck.

[Zach Amico]

He's strong. I will say a Chinese dude. You know, I sometimes cuss. I know they probably hate me for it too. I'll call a Chinese restaurant. I'm like, listen me. I want won soup mixed with the egg drop soup. And then you get a little bit of the chaos. The hot oil.

[Dan Soder]

That sounds good. But I also know your energy and Chinese restaurant energy are oil and water.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's like. It's like two dogs barking at each.

[Dan Soder]

Other from a disco. So then they're not audios. I said, I watch a job. I know you could do it.

[Zach Amico]

I remember I. My first job ever was working at that hair salon, right? And my job was to get lunch for everybody.

[Dan Soder]

For the ladies, for all the ladies.

[Zach Amico]

They were all hot hairdressers. That's another job. Back in the day was all hot that were getting into hairdressing when I started. Because they were stupid cunts. They couldn't do anything else.

[Dan Soder]

When I started jerking off off, there was a. I. I cleaned a hair salon too. I used to go by and there was a woman that worked there that was so hot. And she came in one time and I was like, am I about to this lady? And I was 14.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that would have been a chick named Eileen.

[Dan Soder]

She came in and I was just like, hi.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And you went.

[Dan Soder]

I jerked off in the bathroom. When she left, I was like, that girl.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I used to. So downstairs there was a calendar, like, I guess it was like an Italian guy on. The place was called Bruno's. There was a calendar on the wall. It was just topless shicks on the calendar. So I would go downstairs and just beat my dick and come on the floor. This one was like 11. And I was jizzing for sure because I was shooting my loads directly on the floor. And then I was like up and then down. And then I would clean it up with the towels that they use to wash people's hair and then throw it in the washer. And this is. I mean, it's one of my more famous.

[Dan Soder]

Are you doing something to the shampoo? Because it is doing my volume.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know what you're doing doing, but we have a line out the door right now.

[Dan Soder]

But we are. But business is a booming.

[Zach Amico]

But there was this hot chick named Eileen that worked there.

[Dan Soder]

Come on.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I'm so hot. Come on, Eileen. I wish. I wish. I'd love to come in, Eileen. Come on, Eileen. Lick it off her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you're not doing that, are you?

[Zach Amico]

She was a smoke show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You've never slurped your combat.

[Zach Amico]

I've never slipped my comeback up. No.

[Dan Soder]

It took it to column and I out so quickly. Both of us were over here like the dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was like, I'm not a come.

[Colum Tyrrell]

On over your face.

[Dan Soder]

You know, my favorite soup is come soup. A bowl of kumsu.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was me.

[Dan Soder]

A nice spoon of me.

[Zach Amico]

The cream of some young guy.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I'm gonna bisque.

[Dan Soder]

And it is a soup.

[Zach Amico]

But I. My mom had it My mom did her hair for like a hairdressing competition and she was her model. She was this smoking hot. She was maybe 19 or 20 and she was one of the shampoo girls. And I used to.

[Dan Soder]

Oh my.

[Zach Amico]

Have her shampoo my hair. It's at the end of my shifts. I was like, sure, I could use a hair wash. I mean it was heaven. She had these nails. She was, she knew what she was doing, dude. Yeah, she knew. She was making me rock hard.

[Dan Soder]

She probably saw it.

[Zach Amico]

And then I. My mom had this picture of her and I lied to all my friends and I told her that this was my girlfriend from another state. I had that lie and I. I mean I had to keep it up for years.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure.

[Dan Soder]

God bless that.

[Zach Amico]

I lost my virginity to this girl in wherever. I never even visited out of state.

[Dan Soder]

Wait, she was on. She was on the news. She killed her whole family. And you go, I know for me.

[Zach Amico]

No, she was smoking, dude. Oh, Eileen, she's got to be like 70 now or 60. Isn't that crazy? No.

[Colum Tyrrell]

You were 11, she was 19.

[Zach Amico]

She was 20 years old. 10 years older than me. About probably so about 60. So. Well, she's. No, but it's crazy. If I saw her, I'd still like be like, oh, eileen, she's a 52 year old woman. Yeah, it's an old lady.

[Dan Soder]

It's like the way that Zach and I feel when we see like Hulk Hogan. We're like, he could still go, yeah, him. I, I'd still bang him, dude.

[Zach Amico]

God, I. I would fantasize about just going around the hair salon and just all the. The hairdressers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And.

[Zach Amico]

But I was also at an age where like I would also. There was like one fat one. I'd also fantasize my heart. I had to get through it cuz that was the game I had to everybody in the salon.

[Dan Soder]

You were like. And she was gr. She was grateful. Well, she gave good head in my head. Well, you're new. You were a smart young man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

After you all the hot ones she got. Oh, thank you for.

[Zach Amico]

Also thank you little 11 year old fat boy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Even though I'm so ugly. I'm so grateful.

[Dan Soder]

Thank you little Latin lover boy.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Small Batch Cigar for supporting to the today's show. Small Batch Cigar, a longtime supporter of the show and the network. We love them. I love cigars at this point. I smoke them probably a couple times a month. And that's, that's the best way to get your cigars to go get them from small batch cigar because they have every brand that you guys want want probably brands that you don't even know about because they have an amazing new section that a lot of people like to start off on the website. You click the new button and they show all of their new cigars and all their new products that come in. But really it's the fact that they give you free shipping on every order and they arrive in just a couple days and they have the best, most thorough packaging in the industry.

[Colum Tyrrell]

That's right, it's the Boveda pack. So it's a 69 humidity pack included with every purchase with an amazing selection of rare, limited and hard to find cigars with the most thorough packaging in the industry. And lou, you get 5% rewards points instantly with your purchase.

[Zach Amico]

Right now go to smallbatch cigar.com use that promo code GAS10. You're gonna get 10 off 5% rewards points. What's there not to love? Even if you're not a big cigar guy, keep a few cigars in your house from your friends that come over. If you got to celebrate something, this is a great way to do it. SmallBatchCigar.com promo code GAS10. All right, where were we? Look, we'll continue our soup combo, but let's do some plugs real quick. Shannon, what are we plugging on? Or Colin, what are you plugging on?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Check out my podcast, the column Terrell Podcast. I'm on the road coming up in St. Pete. I'm in Gainesville, Wisconsin, Appleton, Wisconsin. I've got dates in Maine, Houston, a bunch of dates. Columter.com I don't know all of them, but I'm Washington D.C. loads of places. Columterell.com and follow my podcast and column Tarot Podcast.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for calling on the road. Very funny Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, listen to Soder. Listen to the regs. If you're in Winnipeg, there are a couple tickets left I believe for Saturday late I'm at rumors the 30th through February 1st and then I will be in Huntsville, Alabama at Levity Live February 20th through the 22nd with SAG Daddy de God. And then February 28th, Balboa Theater in San Diego. March 1st I'll be at the United Theater in Los Angeles and then March 2nd I will be at the palace of Performing Arts in San Francisco, dansodo.com for tickets. I love you.

[Zach Amico]

Very cool Zach. And make out.

[Colum Tyrrell]

My movie Shakespeare Shitstorm is now on streaming. Go to watch Troma.com first month is free and I'll be in Worcester, Massachusetts February 14th and 15th with Juggalo championship wrestling. The next month we're in Nevada, Tucson and one more stop.

[Dan Soder]

Go check them out. T town.

[Zach Amico]

Very cool. Come see me live on the road, guys. My tour the bring five friends store coming to a city near you this weekend. I'm in Canada. The tickets for Ottawa are sold out already. But you guys can get tickets for Montreal or Gananoque and Oak was Thursday, Montreal, Friday, Saturday. Uh, take the track, make the ride, baby boy. Let me know what's going on. Bring five friends, why not? Then next weekend I'm in North Charleston, South Carolina on Thursday. Naples, Florida on Friday. Saturday, February 6th and 7th, I'll be at Rumors in Winnipeg and 8th the week after. Dan. Good job team for booking me right after Dan Sodera. One week later then, wise guy, Salt Lake City. Tickets are officially up on the site. February 21st and 22nd. Uh, then at the, uh, we just changed the St. Catharines and Windsor run. That's gonna be at the end of March now. So that should be updated on the site too. But to get those tickets because those will work for the end of March. A lot of other stuff coming up, guys. I'm going to London, Ontario as well. Philadelphia on my birthday weekend. I got some Arizona dates coming up. Vancouver's getting on the calendar as well. I know a lot of people wanted to see me in Vancouver, so go get tickets for all of those shows and more. It all leads up to my brand new special taping July 12th. Tampa, Florida. Side splitters. Very excited about this. VIP passes are sold out. Bobby Kelly's gonna be directing. I'm so excited to perform this hour for you guys. This is gonna be the breakout performance for the Puerto Rican rattlesnakes. So get those tickets, be a part of history. And if you guys want to come to Skankfest Gangfest New Orleans is happening November 14th or 16th. Pre sale is January 29th at 1pm [e-mail] get those passes. The, the kickoff party band that we're talking to right now. If we book, people are going to lose their minds. It's always a secret, but it keeps on getting bigger and better every year. New Orleans. The energy behind New Orleans this year is crazy. The amount of comics that were like, yeah, dude, I'm done with Vegas. But now they know it's in New Orleans that are coming out. I've had people hitting me up being like, dude, please put me on Skankfest this year. You guys are going to love it. Get those tickets. January 29th. Make sure you guys subscribe to Gas Digital. Make sure you guys subscribe to all my other podcasts, the Regs, Story wars, and obviously the legendary Legion of Gangs right here on the Gas Digital Network. And if you guys really love the sound of my voice, I do a solo podcast. Just me talking with a microphone, audio only. It just goes out to my email list. So you got to go to louisofskangs.com at the top of the page, you'll see a little prompt. Put your name, your email, your hometown, and you will get an email every Friday morning with a newsletter and a brand new podcast. Just me talking. That's that. Thank you.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Plugs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you book that? The trip during my wedding?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no. We're good for your wedding. We're good for your wedding. I'm 100%. I message. I messaged my team. We're doing. We're doing a contest where I'm going to bring a date, but now I'm seeing a couple gals. Now I feel like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can I have a look? Can I?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, we have a couple girls already. To. Shannon, why don't you pull up our entries so far and show Column, because it is Column's wedding.

[Dan Soder]

So.

[Zach Amico]

So I did a contest.

[Dan Soder]

Giving him a mystery plus one.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

There's a contest for the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You can't embarrass you. Obviously. He's not going to embarrass.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna bring a big fat. I believe you're gonna bring an insane. I did stop myself.

[Dan Soder]

You're gonna bring an insane hot girl.

[Zach Amico]

Probably a crazy hot. There's been a couple hot ones already. The black chick was hot. The. The new white chick, really hot. Snake girl was smoking. Yeah, she had snakes. Look at her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, she's a savage.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then who's the other one?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, cover up those tattoos.

[Zach Amico]

Give me just one second. Oh, there's no tattoos at a Catholic church.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, no, this is. This is a WASPy. New Jersey socialite wed. I'm the.

[Zach Amico]

You're the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm the little toy.

[Zach Amico]

Look at this bitch.

[Dan Soder]

That's not real.

[Zach Amico]

It's real.

[Dan Soder]

That girl did not enter this.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, they talk. It's not like it's just a picture. They say, hey, Louis, I want to come with you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She said she entered.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she entered.

[Colum Tyrrell]

There's no way. Column's mom is not going to ask that girl for more appetizers.

[Zach Amico]

Excuse me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, she's going to say we met before.

[Zach Amico]

Excuse me. God has.

[Dan Soder]

Obviously she goes, hey, girlfriend, do you mind if you have more. Do you have more pigs in a blanket?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know you.

[Dan Soder]

I mean with Lewis, you old Irish. I'll bite your nose off.

[Zach Amico]

Excuse me, do you have any hot Cheetos?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You look like a pint of Guinness.

[Dan Soder]

Look at you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, look at you. Oh, this poor girl.

[Dan Soder]

Like nightfall.

[Zach Amico]

God has tainted her skin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. I've given money to unicef.

[Dan Soder]

I'm sorry about the hurt. I'm sorry about what happened to Haiti all those years.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Remind me of a doll my grandmother had.

[Zach Amico]

These girls, these girls.

[Dan Soder]

We used to have a story about the door my grandmother gave us.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's almost 10:00. You should be getting on now.

[Dan Soder]

Black Amanda.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She goes, what time is curfew for you?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, those girls are so hot. I should try to get them both. I mean, I guess you could.

[Dan Soder]

It's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Can I get a plus two please?

[Dan Soder]

Mrs. Terrell. Meet.

[Zach Amico]

Hello, Meet.

[Dan Soder]

This is my harem.

[Zach Amico]

Meet, Meet Midnight.

[Dan Soder]

And so what's Striker and Lace? You give them American gladiator names. This is Lace and this is Ebony.

[Zach Amico]

If you want to join the contest to go to column Tur's wedding, email us lewis and zachgmail.com. include a one minute video describing why you'd be a great date for the wedding. And we're going to continue on this path all the way until June. Somewhere in New Jersey. We're not saying when, we're not saying where.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure, sure.

[Zach Amico]

But it's going to be quite the time. But now I'm. I'm seeing a couple different chicks now and I feel like they're going to be mad about the contest, about they.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can enter the contest.

[Zach Amico]

It is true.

[Dan Soder]

Tell them that you have a lifestyle.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, they're be mad about each other when they find out about each other.

[Dan Soder]

I mean they're figuring that out right now in real time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're going, now this is like a bit that Lewis does.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He just pretends to be dating multiple girls. Oh, just so, just so they know.

[Zach Amico]

You're right, you're right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's just a pit Funny listening. I'm winking.

[Zach Amico]

No, but I'm the first time in my life I'm being honest that I'm not hiding things from women, which is like a pattern in my life. I'd always have secrets. No matter what. There's always a secret going.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Of course.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

So now you're just out in the open. Just Open book.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then I'm like. I was like, look, I'm kind of. I'm not trying to. I'm trying to take things slow. And then as soon as you tell the girls that you're seeing other girls, then they. They're way in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure.

[Zach Amico]

It's actually the worst way to do it.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This. This sounds like someone who has secrets going.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is my first time I've ever don't have secrets.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why would I. Why would I admit that I used to have secrets?

[Dan Soder]

Secrets.

[Zach Amico]

I'm wearing a big question mark suit.

[Dan Soder]

What's. I. I have no secrets. All my secrets. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What gets drier the more I cheat.

[Dan Soder]

So those are the two women that have entered.

[Zach Amico]

Those are the. Well, there's been a third. It was a third. Was a guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, no. He was like, dude, come on, bro, that's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, it's not.

[Dan Soder]

Just a big column fan.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That was just some dude that wanted to come.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I understand there will be some like, probably gays comedy fans at the.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, they said gays.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like, no, no, just. You'd be surprised. All these New Jersey people listen to like leeches, gangster stuff.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There would be people that would know you.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, so just because they know a comic and then they get into the lore of the comedy scene and then they become fans.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fans and stuff that I know who would be like, you know, my girlfriend's cousins or whatever.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, nice. Are they hot? Are they chicks?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's one.

[Dan Soder]

That's all they want.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's a hot chick.

[Zach Amico]

No, there's a couple hot ladies. Gang, dude, it's happening. You know what it is? Because like kill Tony and Shane and these people have gotten so big mainstream. Yeah, mainstream. LA Trump supported figs. The. Yeah, it trickles down to us. So now there's like hot chicks once in a while in the audience and you're like, what's going on here? I love the Legionist gangster. I love the racist live chat.

[Dan Soder]

I love crazy insane comedy. And you go, what? No, you don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hate woke tards.

[Dan Soder]

Oh my God. Are you gonna hit me with the woke mind virus?

[Zach Amico]

Are you a libtard?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do I have a drag?

[Dan Soder]

You go, you never found. You've never been down this road before, have you?

[Zach Amico]

No, no. It's another new thing is like, like just girl. There was a girl that sent me nudes like 2 days ago just out of nowhere.

[Dan Soder]

Good for you, buddy.

[Zach Amico]

For no reason at all. And I was like, what is wrong? Like, what if I'm what if I'm a lunatic? Like, and I am a little.

[Dan Soder]

It was unprompted.

[Zach Amico]

Unprompted. Nothing. Never even spoke to her before.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

She was like, hey, just so you know, I want you to see me naked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's great.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty sick. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just. There's some comic. Well, Dan's probably. You better get that.

[Zach Amico]

You get that, Dan. No, you never get just unprompted nudes.

[Dan Soder]

No. I'm pretty loud about being in a relationship.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

So I don't think.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. Because that stops the sluts.

[Dan Soder]

That's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's just another.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but no, that doesn't stop the sluts. That makes them want you more.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what I'm saying.

[Zach Amico]

When I was in a relationship. But I don't fight them off with a stick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But there are dudes that just get that all the time.

[Dan Soder]

Honestly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Francis Ellis of the world.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I never was one of those guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Never.

[Dan Soder]

No, I think it's. I think I'm too much of a sweetie pie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I think they don't see that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because I get, like, girls that. Going through stuff emotionally. I don't want to fucking know this.

[Zach Amico]

Girls that like me or have, like, real. Just issues. Tattoos, they're like, of course, dude. Just cutters.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Neck tattoos. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Scars.

[Zach Amico]

I have a joke about a cutter. And then now I get. Girls will be in my dm. She's like, I cut myself. Do you like that?

[Dan Soder]

Here's a video of me doing it. You go, no, no, no, no, no.

[Zach Amico]

I had a girl do it in front of me once. This girl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Speaking of mentally lunatic cutters, Maddie Smith just walked in.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, Maddie Smith with Josh Barnett on Monday, One day. What a weird combo. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Very fun.

[Zach Amico]

It's gonna be wild. She's not gonna know who he is. It's gonna be great.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, that's Josh Barnett, dude.

[Zach Amico]

War Master.

[Dan Soder]

Are you kidding me?

[Zach Amico]

Baby Face Assassin.

[Dan Soder]

He's the man. One of the original UFC guys. Professional wrestler.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

King.

[Zach Amico]

Original champion. Right. If he gets stripped of his title for steroid use, I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

He was badass. He used to be on the old Dreamcast game and the old PS2 game.

[Zach Amico]

He's coming in Monday. Monday. I'm taking over the booking for the show. Shannon. Shannon's great, but it's always like Robbie, Goodwin and Fig. It's like, over and over again. Come on. They're great, but that counts as multiple. You can. You can ask Dan and Column. How many times I ask them, and they say no. Though it's not. It's not. It is true. You. And then I text Dan once and he's like, yeah, I'll be there next week.

[Dan Soder]

Well, Shannon's very nice about it, but she's like, hey, coming up, are you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But Shannon. It's almost like I don't even know if she's texting me. It feels like it's an automated Shannon text.

[Zach Amico]

Like there's. Like there's a gun for.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, like there's a.

[Dan Soder]

There's. I can feel the gun on Shannon's head when I see the text.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And then Shannon's a bit of a confident not text them back, actually, when it's outside of that little chain.

[Zach Amico]

Tell me one example.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, good job.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Outside of booking, she's not going to answer the text.

[Zach Amico]

Drama Llama. Hold on, hold on. Drama Llama's here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

These are the facts. Tell me one time.

[Zach Amico]

Drama. Ding dong, here we go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's down your throat on a Wednesday morning saying, hey, come in on Thursday. But then you can say, hey, can we swap something around or something?

[Zach Amico]

Just saying the same thing over and over again and you're not giving an example.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What do you want me go to your phone phone to prove your point?

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna go through my phone.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't care. I don't. I don't care.

[Dan Soder]

I like this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't.

[Dan Soder]

Will they, won't they? This is his wife for Shannon Column.

[Zach Amico]

Is like spiraling right now. He's getting married in a few months. Not shaving anymore. He's wearing dirty shirts.

[Dan Soder]

What is up?

[Zach Amico]

What's that?

[Dan Soder]

I know what is a soup.

[Zach Amico]

I don't have time to shave.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know. I don't know what a soup is. He's gonna take a three hour train to get here. He's like, oh, Lewis, go like, look who decided to show up.

[Zach Amico]

I don't even talk to you anymore.

[Dan Soder]

Kill everyone.

[Zach Amico]

I'll punch you in your face.

[Dan Soder]

A piece of. So easy to get a gun in your stupid country.

[Zach Amico]

Bang, dead.

[Dan Soder]

Bang, dead. Bang, dead. Bang, dead. No more gas. Digital.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I'm crazy. What the Is even soup?

[Dan Soder]

Fucking Shannon does text back and fucking daft cunt.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Is it a food you drink or.

[Dan Soder]

A drink to eat?

[Zach Amico]

Column is fucking spiraling before our very eyes.

[Dan Soder]

Dude. Is it a trick? You. Your food, you drink is so funny.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, it's a food you drink.

[Dan Soder]

Give me a straw for that soup. Yeah, and Lewis just loves to take a thread and go, oops. Oh, is that sticking out?

[Zach Amico]

So, all right, what is It. Let's. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about it. A woman was body slammed after hitting a man during a road rage incident. Love this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is great.

[Zach Amico]

I've been very guilty of having road rage. I've been better than the new car. I drive like an old man. I'm.

[Dan Soder]

Who's got worse road rage, you or Big J?

[Zach Amico]

Big J. Big J's gotten out of his car multiple times.

[Dan Soder]

I know.

[Zach Amico]

And Big J. Big J projects all of his own things onto me. Like I'm. I have crazy road rage. I'm a bad friend. I'm lazy. It's like, Jay, come on. We don't know what's going on.

[Dan Soder]

Why just ask the first one?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're overweight. You're little dick.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, Shannon, show me this. This incident. This is great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think so.

[Dan Soder]

Is Dave the best behaved out of the skanks?

[Zach Amico]

And Dave is a good human being. Well, he doesn't drive. It's very easy to be well behaved when your wife's driving you around. I forgot.

[Dan Soder]

He's a city hick.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

He doesn't have a drive.

[Zach Amico]

No, he doesn't have a license. He takes a 200 Uber in and out of the city for the fan base.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Know that he can't drive because that's. I think they like that.

[Dan Soder]

No, that's, that's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's like.

[Dan Soder]

That's like Prince behavior, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's. That's a guy who can' Pick me up.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know how to get there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't want to drive an automobile, babe.

[Dan Soder]

Here's why. I don't like the new policies that are happening. I don't like the way government is going. Drive me home. Meanwhile, Louis and Jason on our rights, dude. But by the way, I'm there with Lewis and Jay. I have. I didn't know I was a psycho until. I take these road trips with Katie and she goes, you hold shit personal that cars do. That has nothing to do with you about that fucking Hyundai.

[Zach Amico]

Well, in Jersey I'm about to fucking kill. Use blinkers at all?

[Dan Soder]

No. And they don't wave when they saw it's actually crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

An American.

[Zach Amico]

Well, no. Look, dude, I drive in Jersey every day, dude. Jersey's crazy, dude.

[Dan Soder]

Out west, people use signals. People, people. When you let them in, they go, thanks.

[Zach Amico]

And here's the problem. When they don't use blink, what I start doing is I start slamming on my horn like a lunatic. And they're like, they don't know what's happening. They don't know why I'm being crazy and screaming like blinker.

[Dan Soder]

One time I was with Big J.

[Colum Tyrrell]

We were.

[Dan Soder]

We were going from a bonfire to skanks, and he drove, and this guy cut him off, and Jay just goes and just laid on the horn while the guy. And then he just followed him around the corner, did. We went out of our way. He's like, do something, pussy, dude. And I was like, this is why.

[Zach Amico]

I've been there before. I chase people through the streets because.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Some people get road rage because there is this element of, like, I'm driving a weapon, but they're not actually that aggressive walking down the street.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like, a lot of chicks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A lot of chicks have crazy road rage because. Yeah, it's. That's.

[Dan Soder]

You finally know what it's like to have a cock.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're equal for a second.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever done the move where you. You throw a penny at a car like you throw a penny to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, I've never.

[Zach Amico]

What is that? Well, I did it, so I thr.

[Dan Soder]

What kind of good son behavior is that? Never tossed a dummy off a.

[Colum Tyrrell]

When he's behind one of those.

[Zach Amico]

The.

[Colum Tyrrell]

The. The Jewish vans, the traveling bris, the.

[Dan Soder]

Bris mobile, they open their window, hey, what a good day. Lewis goes, you never stuffed clothes with leaves and tossed it off an overpass?

[Zach Amico]

No, dude.

[Dan Soder]

To scare cars.

[Zach Amico]

I. So I did this with the Audi, and there was a guy who, like, cut me off like a lunatic. And then I. I opened up my sunroof, and then I drove past him, and I find click. And it just hit the side of his car, and you hear it, and it probably puts a little chip in their car. And then he started chasing me through the streets.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

And then, dude, this guy wailed maybe five quarters at the same time, and they all hit my car. I was like, no. Why did I get myself into this, Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My friend David, you stuff enough to get change. You got change?

[Zach Amico]

I threw a dollar. Crumpled up a dollar there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Checkbook.

[Dan Soder]

My friend, this story will forever live in my memory. When I was in high school, my friend David, who's, like, the toughest one out of my friends. Yeah, real problem. Yeah, guy. Guy had a real problem. I got sent to military school and got sent back. He's like that kind of guy. They returned him, but he was driving his mom's van, and a guy cut him off and he went and, like, did the thing where he got in front of him and breaked. Then the guy started following him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And he pulled over into a 7 11. And it was a grown man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like in a suit. And David beat the out of him when he was like 16. He just kicked the out of the guy. And you're like, what a bad day that guy had. He's like this van and this giant kid gets out. It's like, oh, I'm also really good.

[Zach Amico]

I've just, I've calmed down, dude. I. I'm no more distracted driving. I'm not getting stoned. I. I have to get this car to four years with no accidents, give it to baby James for a 16th birthday and buy myself a Mercedes Benz or something really cool. That's. I'm not. But if I get into one accident, it. One, one fender bender, one anything. I.

[Colum Tyrrell]

We're gonna kill James on a six. We're gonna sacrifice him to walks behind the roads.

[Zach Amico]

I. Yeah, I'm not. But I can't. Then I know that I'm not. If I can't knock into an accident for four years, I don't deserve a nice car.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, that's that so nice. Accurate life did you get in the end? I got an. I got an Acura tlx, which is a decent car, but it's not nice. It's not the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm getting a new car now.

[Dan Soder]

Like, I. It's get a Nissan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's fucked.

[Dan Soder]

I wouldn't mind on these in an Ultima.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was a good car, Dan, by the way. You did. When I bought the Audi, you were like, dude, this retarded. Why are you buying an Audi? You were right. I'll admit, four years later, you were right. Thank you, Dan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you could.

[Dan Soder]

By the way, you could have got a Nissan Maxima. A little more power than the Ultima. Truth.

[Zach Amico]

Police are coming.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I might be getting a Subaru.

[Dan Soder]

What are you a lesbian?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

My mom's boyfriend bought a Subaru. It was the only time he wanted to fight me because he came home and I go, well, I guess I know you're eating my mom's pussy. He got so mad at me. He got. That's so. I was. I remember I was in the garage and he pulled in a Subaru. I go, joe, this is your car.

[Zach Amico]

My friend called Rocher Fort, dude, he really knows his cars. Yeah, but, yeah, Rochefort's the. Yeah, but he went through all the options. He used to sell cars. He was like, you got to get. If you're gonna. If you're trying to get something that's going to hold value and it's going to Last a long time. That's a good car. Get an Acura. Get Alexis. We went over all the options.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. I need like a family SUV type of thing.

[Dan Soder]

Get a. Get a new family suv. Just pushing.

[Zach Amico]

Is your girl pregnant?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, not yet. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you're getting to try him, though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We will as soon as we get married.

[Dan Soder]

Irish come, the second that. The second that ring goes on her finger, his come becomes like a heat sinking missile.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The Irish, Italian, Irish come is just like multiplied.

[Dan Soder]

That's how America was made.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Explodes.

[Zach Amico]

I'm half Italian Irish.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. Half Italian Irish, half Puerto Rican.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Should really flex that side. You should. You should lean into that side of you.

[Dan Soder]

Colin Corn used to have one of my favorite jokes where he's like this kid in my neighborhood, he's Italian and Irish, which means he. He liked to fight and he was good at it.

[Zach Amico]

It. Shannon, let's. Let's see this road rage incident. I want to see whose side I'm on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is great. This is, I think.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, all right. She slams the brakes.

[Zach Amico]

She slams the brakes. Oh, she's talking to a woman. And then the guy's in his PJ pants.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's fashionable now. That's a new style.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

My man's right there. Pause it. Somebody in the racist live chat said this reminds me of what I think Lewis's mother is like. And this is exactly what my mother was like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I ain't driving crazy.

[Zach Amico]

My mom would talk to dudes. I remember one time a guy hit her in front of me and then I went up to him, I was like, but it was her fault completely. Yeah, she deserved it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How old were you?

[Zach Amico]

I was like maybe four or five.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And the guy just gave you a little.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, all right, buddy, I like the effort. Go start your own podcast company.

[Zach Amico]

Couldn't do anything about it. He didn't even have her. He grabbed her by the hair and like, pulled her down a little bit like that. Cuz she was hitting him.

[Dan Soder]

She went like this. Oh, you want to buy me a drink? I like Daddy.

[Zach Amico]

Daddy.

[Dan Soder]

He went, oh. He goes, look at us, little family, huh? Look at us being a little family right now.

[Zach Amico]

Christmas. All right, let me.

[Dan Soder]

Let's see my goddamn ass.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would into other lane.

[Zach Amico]

Get out of my face.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, okay, now it's you. Now it's on. Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Solid. Solid.

[Dan Soder]

Almost could have had a snap. Sn suplex if you would.

[Zach Amico]

Said my man's in the car. And he's still in the car, which is hilarious.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Screaming for him.

[Zach Amico]

Run her over now.

[Dan Soder]

Dude does her guy get out.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Oh, by the way, to give you an idea of who's in the car, she goes, montez, that's so funny.

[Dan Soder]

Goes, I ain't breaking that up. I ain't. I don't fight white boys in pajama pants. They on heroin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He go, stay in the car. I told you, stay in the car.

[Dan Soder]

What I say? He kicks her ass. Hey, get up, get up. I gotta go to work.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna be late now.

[Dan Soder]

I'm gonna be late to McDonald's. You dumb.

[Zach Amico]

What if it was Dave Smith?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, excuse me, Dave Smith. Policy changes have happened in Washington.

[Zach Amico]

It's an infringement on your human rights.

[Dan Soder]

Go back to it. I want to watch it again.

[Zach Amico]

That was phenomenal. That was a phenomenal video.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This seems to be more. More common with fights now. People getting slammed and just unconscious.

[Dan Soder]

Because you know why? The ground is harder than any fist. Old Chinese proverbs. She slams a slam from the ground.

[Zach Amico]

The energy is so different, though. They come in calmly. He's like, excuse me, I'm not gonna let you fight my woman. And yeah, you piece of trash.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And he gets out. That's. He's smart.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Do you have slides on, too?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. So the grip on that. On that toss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was a tough one.

[Zach Amico]

That was a really hard slap.

[Dan Soder]

He caught her once and bow. She folded too, to.

[Zach Amico]

To choke. Slam a woman like that.

[Dan Soder]

Dude, what song do you put on in your car when you drive away?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Chris?

[Colum Tyrrell]

Ben Waltheim.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I'm wondering what song. I'm wondering what song. I'm grabbing my phone and going to. I'm like.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, what. Give me the opportunity to just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a. That's a.

[Zach Amico]

That's fun.

[Dan Soder]

Let me tell you right now, even.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If someone can't throw at this point, she hit him.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Well, she close fist hit him.

[Dan Soder]

She closest hit him. And then what he did was. He came around, didn't. That wasn't the important part.

[Zach Amico]

No, he was. He was trying to throw her off for a second.

[Dan Soder]

He threw her off and then he wrapped, gripped, beautiful, ripped.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I want to hear. Can I hear her screaming for the boyfriend? I never heard that. What was his name?

[Zach Amico]

Montez or Montex?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get out.

[Dan Soder]

Get out. I didn't touch you. You were on my gun.

[Zach Amico]

Come and touch me. Because my man's right, dude. I love how our man didn't even think about getting.

[Dan Soder]

He's on his phone, he's cheating, he's DMing her back. Best friend.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's like, how do I get these seats?

[Dan Soder]

War. He goes My ass hot as hell.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

These new cars never work.

[Dan Soder]

This burning up my balls.

[Zach Amico]

Who needs this setting?

[Colum Tyrrell]

Who needs this setting?

[Zach Amico]

Who the.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Why the.

[Dan Soder]

These white need their ass hot as hell. What is this?

[Zach Amico]

If you're dating that chick, she's already, you know, she's a problem all the time.

[Dan Soder]

She's probably the side.

[Zach Amico]

When me and Kim were together, I remember we got into the biggest fight we ever got into was. I mean, she was hammered. We were at a UFC event. This is luckily before either of us had any real visibility. Like, we were, like. We were, like. We were a little known, especially in the UFC world, because I did the podcast with Bisping, but, like, I was getting recognized a lot, right? So we got into maybe the craziest fight I've ever been with anybody in my entire life. I remember we were screaming at each other outside of the arena, and there was crazy traffic. It was in Brooklyn, leaving the Barclay Barclay. And I was. And then Ralph happened to be at the same event, and he would have, like, some Russian with him and Ralph.

[Dan Soder]

I want to go to the West.

[Zach Amico]

We were outside. We were outside screaming at each other, and they were just stuck in traffic. Perfect. Like, look at us. And she's like, look at these two crazy people. And Ralph's like, that's my business partner.

[Dan Soder]

That's the G. Yeah, that's the man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, let's get away from him. What?

[Dan Soder]

That's pretty crazy.

[Zach Amico]

But Kim, I. I. So her phone died or something, so we, like, lost each other, and we were, like, fighting about whatever, probably me being a cheater or something. And she. I guess she got into an argument with some dude, and he spit in her face.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

And I wasn't there, though. But she told me, and she's like. And we're, like, arguing. She's like, this guy spit in my face. She's like, you have to go find him and fight him. And I'm like, he's probably right. What do you want me to say right now? You're being a lunatic right now. She chased me. I remember. She chased you. She chased. A regular occurrence in a relationship.

[Dan Soder]

Benny Hill music in between.

[Zach Amico]

A regular occurrence in our relationship. She would chase me through the streets as I would run away from her. I remember one time she was in Harlem, and I was hiding between cars. She's like, run, fat nigga, run.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

It was nuts. And then I was running away from her, and I couldn't outrun her because I was fat. So I went to the cops. I was like, please. I was like, she's gonna kill me. And they all started laughing at me. New York cops just started cackling in my face.

[Dan Soder]

They go, yeah, hold on real quick. Hey, come down and check out this queer over here. This fucking hot chick's gonna kill him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we got a Puerto Rican tent.

[Dan Soder]

Hey, come down here. It looks like your sister.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Hey, we got a 1033. Somebody's got to pay the piper for Puerto Rican.

[Dan Soder]

He thought all that sweet coups was gonna be no cost. Damn, you guys used to hide from each other.

[Zach Amico]

It was nuts. It was one of the most. It was very toxic. I'm very happy we're friends now, and I'm very happy she has a man that she's in love with and everything's going well for her. We've all changed. We've all grown up. Yeah. Good times.

[Dan Soder]

God, that sex must have been explosive.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Wet rag of gasoline.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So that was what was you drive now column, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Do you have road rage?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, not really. No.

[Zach Amico]

Not at all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. I used to when I was younger and then I don't know what happened. I just realized it was retarded. So then I just.

[Zach Amico]

There's no. I had guys the other day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I also think it's kind of like faux tough guy because you're in a car and you're like you. And I think most people in cars.

[Zach Amico]

Are these two guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So I just. Something about. I feel like it's.

[Zach Amico]

I just hung.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I used to have it, but I don't.

[Zach Amico]

These guys. These guys pulled out in front of me, like, kind of dangerously. So I'm bamboo. A little bit of extended, extended honk. Not like a beep. Not like. Like, oh, hey. It was like a. But not like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's like a Kirby enthusiasm.

[Zach Amico]

I also have a gay sounding horn now. The Audi's horn. Penis.

[Dan Soder]

Your horn is deeper. His horn now goes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, my horn need it. My horn's kind of now, so. But I went. I gave an extended honk. Like a B. It's to let people know, like, oh, hey, I'm here. Bam is a little passive aggressive. Bam is crazy. That's like. Like, don't with that guy. He's got some issues, right? So with the extended passive aggressive honk and these two guys in like a shitty. Like, it was like a shitty, like beat up Honda Civic, dude. They lost their minds. They were in front of me and they like. They were. The one guy literally got his body completely out of the car. Like, he was. I mean, dude, just like hanging out. Come stop and fight me.

[Dan Soder]

Last guy.

[Zach Amico]

I was like, holy fight.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Teen Wolf.

[Dan Soder]

He's surfing on this vein.

[Zach Amico]

It was insane. Like, this guy was so mad, all I could do was laugh in his face.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that. Which made him probably.

[Zach Amico]

Me and the girl I was hanging out with, we started cackling at him and pointing and then he was just losing his mind even more.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, it was great.

[Dan Soder]

Do you look like one of those Saudi Arabian videos where they're driving through the desert, like, hanging out the door? There was a golden AK47. They were going ballistic. One of. There's a leopard in the back seat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Has.

[Dan Soder]

In the passenger seat, there's a man. A tiny little man. Is he dead? Is hospital dead? He's still the little guy.

[Colum Tyrrell]

No, he got canceled because he beat his cat. That.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was a.

[Zach Amico]

But to him, it was. To him, it was a lion.

[Colum Tyrrell]

Yeah, yeah. No, that was a fair fight.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He was dressed as Gladiator.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

If I beat up a panther, no one's going to get mad about it.

[Zach Amico]

He was dressed as Gladiator as.

[Dan Soder]

Hilarious. Hilarious. He's doing a twirl in his. Are you not entertained?

[Zach Amico]

Are you not entertained?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My name is Has. Minimus.

[Zach Amico]

Minimus. Minimus. Oh, this is a good show. I got. I gotta wrap this. Damn it. I'm having so much fun. We gotta wrap it.

[Colum Tyrrell]

I just got here.

[Dan Soder]

We just came in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Time flies.

[Dan Soder]

Now you gotta go three hours back.

[Zach Amico]

I know. It takes so long. Are you going back to Jersey? I'll drive you to Jersey if you want to get a train there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you're further. Like, it's easier for me. Just go from station. We're in different jerseys.

[Zach Amico]

We are in different.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very different.

[Dan Soder]

Doing the NJ Transit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I'm down towards Philly. I'm like halfway between Philly and New York.

[Zach Amico]

Well, look, thank you guys for coming in. You guys are the support column and Dan, with everything they do. Yeah. We're going to be back on Friday with an exclusive show just for subscribers. If you guys are watching this on YouTube or iTunes or anywhere else right now, you should know that we do a bonus episode just for subscribers of the GAS Digital Network. Get it uncensored, get it ad free. That's the number one way to support the show. Once again, use that promo code laz to save on your premium membership. We're going to be out. I'll see you later. Good night.

[Dan Soder]

Baby. Boys. And they make a noise.