0030. Brendan Sagalow and Allie Mae

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo - Episode 0030: Brendan Sagalo and Allie Mae

Release Date: July 27, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 0030 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo, host Zac Amico welcomes longtime friends and fellow podcasters Brendan Sagalo and Allie Mae from "SAG Daddy The Pod." The episode kicks off with the trio's trademark irreverent humor, setting the tone for a chaotic yet entertaining drive-time experience.

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Opening Banter

The show begins with Zac sharing his fondness for Eddie Roosevelt's THC Lemonade, humorously admitting, “[00:04] ...forgot I had one in my freezer last night. Saw it calling my name.” Brendan and Allie Mae join in the light-hearted conversation, discussing the lingering effects of the THC Lemonade and Zac's inventive method of keeping a gallon of water frozen beside his bed for "infinite ice water."

Notable Quote:

• Zac Amico [00:01]: "Fill her up."

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Introducing the Guests

Zac introduces Brendan Sagalo and Allie Mae, highlighting their comedic prowess and contributions to the podcasting scene. Brendan humorously laments the early time slot of the show, with Ally Mae chiming in on the occasional absurdity they encounter during their podcasting endeavors.

Notable Quote:

• Brendan Sagalo [02:04]: "Hi, everybody. Thanks for having me. Feeling good on a Wednesday."

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Main Segment: "Did Ozzy Do It?"

The heart of the episode centers around the game "Did Ozzy Do It?", where Shannon presents outrageous anecdotes about the legendary rocker Ozzy Osbourne, and the hosts debate their authenticity.

Key Stories Discussed:

1. Snorting Father's Ashes

   • Shannon [08:20]: "Ozzy once snorted his own father's ashes."
   • Zac [08:26]: "I'm going no on that one."
   • Reveal: This act was actually done by Keith Richards, not Ozzy.

2. Daily Acid Use

   • Shannon [16:57]: "Took acid every day for a year."
   • Zac [17:03]: "I believe it."
   • Reveal: Ozzy did this, resulting in lasting mental damage.

3. Banned from Burbank Airport with a Python

   • Shannon [18:28]: Details an incident where Ozzy tried to board a flight with a python.
   • Brendan [18:40]: "That sounds more like Alice Cooper."
   • Reveal: No evidence supports this claim.

4. Genome Study for Drug Tolerance

   • Shannon [19:20]: "In 2010, his genome was analyzed and showed unusual mutations that gave him this crazy tolerance to drugs."
   • Zac & Ally: Trusting the story.
   • Reveal: This is true.

5. Walking Around a Hotel in Women's Negligee and Combat Boots

   • Shannon [19:39]:
   • Brendan [19:51]: "Classic Ozzy. Just another Tuesday."
   • Reveal: Ozzy did perform this act multiple times, especially in his early years.

6. Drove a Tour Bus Naked Through a Taco Bell Drive-Thru

   • Shannon [21:16]:
   • Brendan [21:37]: "I'd like a McChicken Nuggets. I'll say no."
   • Reveal: No record of this happening.

7. Licking Urine After Snorting Ants and Biting a Dove

   • Shannon [22:35]:
   • Brendan [22:52]: "I want to see her tased."
   • Reveal: Partially true—Ozzy admitted to killing pets during his addiction.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico [04:10]: "I have a boner."
• Brendan Sagalo [22:50]: "That's insane."
• Zac Amico [61:33]: "Black women watching Lord of the Rings."

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Personal Anecdotes and Mental Health Discussions

Post the Ozzy segment, the conversation veers into more personal territories. The hosts share stories about hospital visits, mental health struggles, and anxiety-inducing experiences.

Key Topics:

• Misophonia: Ally Mae discusses her sensitivity to repetitive noises, leading to extreme anxiety and emergency room visits.

  Notable Quote:

  • Ally Mae [36:43]: "I can't do it for some reason."

• Zac's Apartment Flood: Zac recounts a harrowing experience where a flood in his apartment led to a panic attack, exacerbated by a landlord who didn't speak English and was inefficient in handling the crisis.

  Notable Quote:

  • Zac Amico [38:04]: "I was having a full on panic attack. And he couldn't get the water to turn off. It was awful."

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Promotions and Announcements

Throughout the episode, Zac, Brendan, and Allie Mae plug their respective shows, upcoming events, and social media platforms, encouraging listeners to support one another.

Notable Promotions:

• Brendan promotes his performance at the Empire Comedy Club on August 3rd and his podcast "SAG Daddy Depod."
• Allie Mae highlights her shows "Drip" and "Powerbottom" in Asbury Park.
• Zac shares his upcoming comedy tour dates and invites listeners to subscribe to Gas Digital for exclusive content.

Notable Quote:

• Zac Amico [25:59]: "If you love the show, go to gasdigital.com use that promo code, Zoo15."

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Scary Video Segment: "Every Woman's Worst Nightmare Caught on Camera"

Towards the end of the episode, Shannon presents a chilling video from Brazil depicting an intruder investigating a woman's body in her bedroom. The footage sparks intense reactions from the hosts, blending horror with their signature humor.

Discussion Highlights:

• The group's breakdown of the intruder's appearance and actions.
• Speculations about the intruder's motives and identity.
• Zac's humorous comments on the intruder's tattoos and potential backstory.

Notable Quotes:

• Brendan Sagalo [28:03]: "Oh, God. This looks like squid game."
• Zac Amico [30:04]: "Mr. Sheffield."

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Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts reflect on societal issues such as mental health and police interactions, blending serious commentary with their characteristic wit. They conclude with an uplifting story about a viral video leading to an unexpected romantic connection, showcasing a heartwarming end to an otherwise tumultuous episode.

Notable Quote:

• Zac Amico [71:43]: "Good for them. I'm happy for him."

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Conclusion

Episode 0030 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo offers a rollercoaster of emotions, from humorous debates over Ozzy Osbourne's antics to genuine discussions on mental health and personal crises. With Brendan Sagalo and Allie Mae alongside Zac, listeners are treated to a blend of chaos, laughter, and insightful commentary, making it a must-listen for fans seeking an unfiltered morning show experience.

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Tune in Next Week: Don't miss the exclusive upcoming episode featuring Joe Gorman and Tim McLaughlin. Stay connected with the Gas Digital Network for more episodes and live chats.

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Transcript

[Brendan Sagalo]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre It's a miko morning too. That's right. Feeling good on a Wednesday. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico. And I am feeling a little fuzzy wuzzy bubbly, thanks to our good friends at Eddie Roosevelt's THC Lemonade. Wow. Forgot I had one in my freezer last night. Saw it calling my name.

[Ally Mae]

And what is it?

[Zach Amico]

It's a hundred milligram lemonade drink.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And you drank it this morning?

[Zach Amico]

No, I had it at 11 o'.

[Ally Mae]

Clock last night and still feeling it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh boy, oh boy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's the best though. I love taking weed late at night and then like taking weed and then waking up and you're so high, like walking.

[Zach Amico]

Not only that, had frozen a gallon of water, so I had infinite ice water when I woke up. Super high. Feeling good.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What do you do? What do you lick that thing? What do you mean you froze water?

[Zach Amico]

I left it next to the bed so that it melted. So I had half ice, half water. Oh boy, what a morning.

[Ally Mae]

What a morning.

[Zach Amico]

What? Feeling good on a Wednesday?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I'm especially feeling good because across the table from me, two incredibly funny, wonderful people from sag Daddy the pod, it's our good buddy and yours, Brandon Sagala.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hi, everybody. Thanks for having me. Feeling good on a Wednesday.

[Zach Amico]

How you doing, man?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Good, I'm good. How you doing? What is that from the feeling good on a Wednesday thing? Is that a meme?

[Zach Amico]

South Park.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think that's what it is.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm feel. I am feeling good on a Wednesday. How are you guys? I think this is a little too early for me.

[Zach Amico]

Well, this used to be 11. It used to be 10:30 and it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Was early for me then it used to be 10:30. I want to say your show or. Or when it was the old show that was 10:30.

[Zach Amico]

We had some more. We've done a few of them.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jesus Christ. That's too early.

[Ally Mae]

Graphic porn fights.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

I mean, it's like you're still rubbing the dust out of your eyes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's the point in doing podcasts if we have to do them early? I understand radio, but.

[Zach Amico]

But for me it's because we have the live chat and I like to be in between Jim and Sam and Bennington.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Or Sam Roberts. And also it's. It's drive time. You know, it's LA drive time.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yes, yes, yes. Hello.

[Zach Amico]

Even though nobody listens to this in their car. And if they do, you're a psychopath. If you're listening to this live in your car, you're a monster.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Give your laptop duct tape to your fucking.

[Zach Amico]

Please talk to your child.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And next to him, no podcast at the moment. You're a rebel, a loner.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, you know, I'm just floating through space.

[Zach Amico]

Sounds great. It's Ally Mae. How you doing, babe?

[Ally Mae]

I'm pretty freaking good. How are you?

[Zach Amico]

You look wonderful.

[Ally Mae]

I just rolled out of bed.

[Zach Amico]

That's all I could ever ask. Thank you so much for being here, guys. I mean, we'll start with it big as the biggest news that every. Everybody see. Obviously Ozzy fucking. What a fucking bow out.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. You get that is the dream, bro. Just doing a huge show, knowing when you're gonna die.

[Zach Amico]

Throwing the biggest charity concert of all time.

[Ally Mae]

How much? 190 something million for Parkinson's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He was that old. Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That's the dream you put on the. The most respected rock stars in the world get together, tell you you're the greatest.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It was such a good show that people started liking Youngblood.

[Zach Amico]

Dude.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I. Dude, people turn.

[Zach Amico]

I have a boner.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Youngblood.

[Zach Amico]

I have a straight up man boner for young blood dude. I mean, beautiful young man.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that was his lose yourself moment. He had one shot and he killed it. He killed it.

[Zach Amico]

What is he. What is he from? I didn't. I've never heard. I'd never heard he was an actor first, right?

[Brendan Sagalo]

What? I don't know. I see him on Tick Tock a lot. Like, I see him like promoting his music on Tick Tock. And then I guess Ozzy loved the dude and then he did changes and now. And now we all love him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. My man. That's my current man crush, Young blood. Yeah. Beautiful young man.

[Ally Mae]

I. I saw him like one time.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the fun thing about the show, Ali. We have a screen here and we can pull it up. You don't have to pull out your phone.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, Crush on any. Anything that's young.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Or blood.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, no, I know he looks like a.

[Zach Amico]

He's got a vil valo thing going on.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, yeah, he's got a vil val going on. He also looks like. He just looks like he would be A Nepo baby kind of thing.

[Zach Amico]

I think he kind of has a Mick Jagger thing, though. The lips.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. But he looks like. There's just something about him that you're like. You could feel that he, like, comes from a lot of money.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know, like, I don't fine with that. But maybe. I mean, I'm wrong. And also, if he does, who cares? You know? I just.

[Ally Mae]

It's none of our business.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's none of our business.

[Zach Amico]

Now here's. So I might have a type because my biggest TV crush of all time was Dandy in American Horror Story. Freak Show.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's that? What? And who is which?

[Ally Mae]

Which thing are you? What is that in. Do you not know American Horror Story?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know what. American Horror Story, they had a freak show season we call Ellie's ax.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that was Dandy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That was your crush, dude. He.

[Zach Amico]

He. He's got some underpants scenes. He did a war movie right after it. He plays such a. A fancy boy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

If people knew that gay could be like that as well, they'd be even more pissed about.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he was a fancy boy.

[Ally Mae]

His torso made me upset. Yeah, it was.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You think that, Tor.

[Zach Amico]

There we go. Old timey underpants.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That does it for you?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. Something sick and twisted is going on.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And he has the body that Satan had in South Park. The penis outline.

[Zach Amico]

No, I think it's just the old. The old timey briefs. I'm sure he's got a decent. So middle section.

[Ally Mae]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't look at, like, a conventionally attractive person and be like, hell, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so who would you say your celebrity crushers are right now?

[Ally Mae]

I don't really know a lot of celebrities.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You're like John Wayne Gacy, the white bat from Annabelle. What's that movie? What's that cartoon?

[Zach Amico]

Give me that. You know what I'm talking about.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I wish I got that.

[Ally Mae]

Did you. Did you see that guy that died and he. With the. With the.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we've been talking about the guy that had the Annabelle doll on tour. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, and.

[Zach Amico]

Sorry. Yeah. It's never left the museum in years. The guy took it out on a tour, immediately dropped dead in his hotel room.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

But then again, I don't know how healthy paranormal investigators are living on the road.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know, man. That's pretty crazy.

[Zach Amico]

It's not. Not crazy. Yeah, I like it. People say I'm an idiot for Believing in ghost. This is.

[Ally Mae]

I believe in ghosts.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah, because we're.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Because you're as pale as one.

[Zach Amico]

Because we're kooky idiots.

[Ally Mae]

I can't show my legs. They're literally see through.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Let's see.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, I can't even show.

[Zach Amico]

Then we won't know.

[Ally Mae]

You'll know.

[Zach Amico]

You're showing them right now.

[Ally Mae]

No one's ever seen.

[Zach Amico]

They're over her ears. Okay, fine. Let's keep it going. But, yeah, obviously, that's the.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Way to go, Rip. We put a little game together. If I know these, I'll bow out. But Shannon put together a game of guess if Ozzy did it or not. And we have some tall tales, and we'll find out if it's an Ozzy story or not. Shannon.

[Shannon]

Okay, first one. Ozzy once snorted his own father's ashes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I would say he did that.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going no on that one.

[Ally Mae]

Well, I know a lot of people say it, but I don't know. Yeah, I think it is true.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going no on that one. Shannon.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You think that's just so disrespectful that he would. Wouldn't ever do that?

[Zach Amico]

No, I just don't think it doesn't sound like his mo.

[Shannon]

So the answer is. That was actually Keith Richards, not Ozzy.

[Zach Amico]

That's where I started.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So fucking lame. That's so, like, gay.

[Zach Amico]

What, snorting ashes?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, just doing things like that to be like, I'm gonna snort my father's asses on us. So badass. Please tell me I'm badass or this is not worth it.

[Zach Amico]

I would love if all my friends had to do a bump on me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That'd be a lot of bumps.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

Dude, we could swim for the rest of our lives.

[Zach Amico]

I like what Lemmy did. We could. We could.

[Brendan Sagalo]

We could use you as, like, a sandbag.

[Zach Amico]

I like what Lemmy did. He had his ashes made into bullets and had bullets delivered to all his.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Favorite people so that if they want to kill themselves, they can do it with Lemmy.

[Zach Amico]

That. Or just display it or make it a necklace or whatever. I think it's cool.

[Ally Mae]

That's cute.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think that's so lame in every single way. Like, what would you want?

[Ally Mae]

Like, I. I just.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't. I don't care, because I'm gonna be dead. But I don't, like, just, you know, do what you got to do. Put my body in the ground and forget about it. I. I don't like the. It's like, what do you. You have to be a rock star, you have to be punk rock. It's like. It sucks when you're 80 years old. Like, you're. It's lame.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if you made it that long and you haven't compromised. I think that's the coolest.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Put my ice. Put my ashes in ice cream. Make a Ben and Jerry's out of my. Called Sags to riches.

[Zach Amico]

Ally, your thoughts?

[Ally Mae]

I think I more so think about, like, dying. So sometimes I fantasize at work. There's, like, lots of families there, and I just put a gun in my mouth and I spray my brains against the wall behind me and ruin everybody's time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you block all the specials.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I've toyed with the idea of. I think something with ashes would be cool, would be pressed to an. Into an ep.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, that would be cool.

[Zach Amico]

Like a vinyl.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that would be cool.

[Zach Amico]

That would be pretty cool. Yeah, that would be pretty cool.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's classy. There's something classy about that. Putting it in a bullet, it's like. You might as well, like, be, like, make my ashes into black nail polish and then wear it.

[Zach Amico]

In all fairness, Lemmy did have nothing but Nazi swords. He had an entire wall of Nazi knives. So the bullet is not too far from his aesthetic.

[Ally Mae]

Okay, I kind of like that idea.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That was a. That was a safety check on Ally. Like, I kind of want to blow my brains out.

[Zach Amico]

Hi, again.

[Ally Mae]

It's the doorbell for outside. The cops are here. They're taking me to the hospital. It's the grippy socks.

[Zach Amico]

I worked with a guy years ago when I was working nights doing, like, data entry shit. Threatened to kill himself on Facebook in the middle of our shift.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jesus.

[Zach Amico]

And then with the cops. The cops went to his house. His mom called, like, screaming. And we're sitting there working. We can all hear each other. He's, like, dead silent. He's like. Told him to come here. I'm not going. So he filled my whole lobby with cops and EMTs. He's like this bullshit. I was fucking right on Facebook.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's hilarious.

[Ally Mae]

And they took him, though, right Now?

[Zach Amico]

Now. They did not. They left.

[Ally Mae]

No, that's not why. You just. You get to you. They take you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Have you been taken?

[Ally Mae]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You got took?

[Ally Mae]

I got took, yeah. Many times I've been. But you know what? You can't. The. Okay, I think I could, like, sue the hospital, to be honest. I was drunk, and I said something about dying. I was in a blackout. You can't you say anything? In a blackout. And the next day I was like, I didn't mean that at all. I was super shit faced and I'm crackhead next.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's like, yeah, I don't mean that at all either.

[Zach Amico]

I was also shit face. I was never killed.

[E]

The president.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I said, I'd never kill the president, even though I do want to.

[Ally Mae]

Those are all the people that are there. It'll just be like, you just being like, I'm a normal person.

[Zach Amico]

I know, yeah. But then everyone else is also like, I'm a normal person. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah. Always makes you look bad. I had a girlfriend that was put into a mental hospital for like two weeks. And I would go visit her every day. And she was like. She was just like. It was crazy because it was like low rent crackheads walking around being like, that's what it.

[Ally Mae]

And they. They talk about raping you and.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They try to. They try to like break into your room at night.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She said she had people trying to like break into her room at night.

[Ally Mae]

It's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Insane. Yeah, no, it's that, it's. I know people to refer to that as a grippy socks vacation.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I like those socks.

[Ally Mae]

If you want to leave, they say you have to take medicine. And I was like, I don't want to. And they're like, why? And I'm like, because I have no psychiatric symptoms.

[Brendan Sagalo]

We really aren't that free of a country.

[Ally Mae]

We're not. They were like, you have to take something. So I was like, this is crazy. I should have really sued the hospital, I think. But then I was just like, I guess I'll just take Trazodone. Like, how can I just name something that I want to take?

[Zach Amico]

Allie has no idea. She's still in the hospital right now. And we're just too. We're just too fat, Comatose. There's a real teddy bear on the thing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

We're going, all right, take her pants off. Leave the straight jacket on.

[Zach Amico]

Me. And you are drooling, playing checkers. But neither of us made the first move. You have to let me out of here. I'm a famous comedian. I've got a podcast to do in the morning.

[Brendan Sagalo]

10 2. Yeah, that sucks, though. And you know what really sucks is you couldn't even sue the hospital because if you did, you'd go, you go, you go. Poor you. You'd be ruined.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Unless you had a real good.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Unless you hospital guys were lawyers or something like that. But then they'd have to be that kind of lawyer. Yes.

[Ally Mae]

Can I.

[Zach Amico]

What can I do for you?

[Ally Mae]

What is this?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. Fans sent it. It's like beads.

[Ally Mae]

It's really cool. It looks like a retro toy.

[Zach Amico]

I think it was a thing that, like, we used to. You put it in the oven, I think.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. I remember making these things in elementary school. You'd. You'd, like, iron it.

[Zach Amico]

That's it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd put, like, a bunch of little beads in, like, a thing, and then you'd iron it.

[Zach Amico]

And it was like wax paper on it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, and they were numbered, too, so, like, the numbers correlated with the colors. So It'd be like 2, 2, 2, 2, 2. And then you put all the little really pale beads.

[Zach Amico]

Here we go.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The really pale beads on the twos.

[Ally Mae]

Why? What does that do?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, I was making fun of Zach for being very pale.

[Ally Mae]

Oh.

[Brendan Sagalo]

But sorry. You're able to, like, really just make it very easily. You never played with this?

[Ally Mae]

I feel I. It seems like something that's in my mind, but I can't access it all the way.

[Zach Amico]

They weren't allowed to have the iron in the. Hey, guys. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created body brain coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone. Packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back in the gym, in the boardroom, and, yeah, the bedroom, too. And it's not just about testosterone. Body brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity, and mood, thanks to lion's mane, ashwagandha, and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters in a crash, Body Brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm, and locked in, all while supporting your natural T levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset, and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. And you can save 15 today with the promo code ZOO15.Z O [e-mail] that's bodybraincoffee.com promo code ZOO15. Power your day, fuel your drive. Let's get back into the program. Slither so we have more Aussie. Let's hear did Ozzy do it?

[Shannon]

Okay, second one is took. Sorry. Took acid every day for a year.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean, I I believe every day for a year. A year. I guess so.

[Zach Amico]

I believe it.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, I do, too.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He didn't miss one day. Thanksgiving.

[Zach Amico]

Well, he's not saying he's fully tripping. He might be micro dosing. I think a lot of those guys. Yeah. Like my. I have friends that were in a band called Nervous Gender in, like, the late 70s, early 80s, and they. That scene, they were on acid every day.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jesus Christ, man.

[Zach Amico]

They're not doing great now.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, Shannon, I'm going. Yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm going. I'm going. Yes.

[Shannon]

So he did do it, and he said it caused lasting damage and he never fully recovered mentally from it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I would say so.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Wow.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Next one.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, at least he was smart enough to be able to. To notice that he never recovered from, like. Like, at least he was like. You know, he had enough brains to be like. Well, that really fucked me up.

[Zach Amico]

It is funny that in retrospect, how much of him, like, being all shaky and weird on the Osbornes was Parkinson's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And we were like an old drug addict.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So hammered.

[Ally Mae]

Wow. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's like. He's like, where's my beer? And we're going, oh, he's hammered. And he's like, oh, no, you have Alzheimer's Generals gathered in their acid.

[Zach Amico]

That's not even.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I want to spill that coffee on you.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, keep it going.

[Shannon]

Before I do the next one, Ellie, can you just drop the mic down in front of you a little? I feel like the mic's blocking your whole face. Thank you.

[Ally Mae]

Sorry.

[Shannon]

That's okay. The next one was banned from a Burbank airport. The Burbank airport. For trying to board a flight with a python.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

That sounds more like Alice Cooper.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

I don't think he did it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Was this post 9 11.

[Shannon]

Shannon, I'm not gonna answer.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Are you allowed to say.

[Shannon]

I am not going to say.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm gonna say.

[Shannon]

No, you guys are correct. There was no record of this, but Ozzy did own a lot of snakes. Okay, next one was studied by scientists for his bizarre tolerance to drugs.

[Zach Amico]

That one I might believe.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, I believe that.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going, yes, on that one.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I'm just gonna. I'm gonna agree with Zach on every single one.

[Shannon]

You gotta answer last going forward.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Zach. Yeah.

[Shannon]

So this one. This is true. In 2010, his genome was analyzed and showed unusual, unusual mutations that gave him this crazy tolerance to drugs.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's like an X man.

[Shannon]

The next one once walked around a hotel wearing only a woman's negligee and combat boots.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I would say, who hasn't? Yeah. That's. I mean, that's the least crazy thing he's done.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna go no. Because it feels like somebody else's story.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm gonna say yes.

[Shannon]

Okay. The answer is yes.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Shannon]

Classic Ozzy. Just another Tuesday. It says, let's see. I'm trying to have a bunch of. Trying to skip through a few passed out mid performance and had to be revived on stage.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's badass now. That's badass. Sad, though. I'd be sitting there. I'd be in front row going, like, is he okay? What's going on? Is this a part of the show? It's like when that comedian, like, had a heart or the magician had a heart attack. Everyone was like, yeah. Or the comedian that, like, stabbed himself a bunch of times.

[Zach Amico]

Artie Lang. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, no. There was like, an open mic.

[Zach Amico]

I know, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I am gonna go no on this one.

[Ally Mae]

I'm gonna say yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm gonna say no.

[Shannon]

The answer is. It is. It did happen. It's happened multiple times, especially in the early years.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Now, are we gathering points for this?

[Shannon]

Yes. I'm keeping track.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And what do you get if you win a bat? Bat gets released into here.

[Zach Amico]

I'll tell you what, your prize is a midget beaten off in a trash can. Mm.

[Ally Mae]

I know. That's right.

[Shannon]

Okay, next one. Drove a tour bus naked through a Taco Bell drive thru.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I would say yes. I think. I think a guy like Ozzy was naked a lot.

[Zach Amico]

It's the can he drive a bus? Part to me.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, fair enough.

[Zach Amico]

That seems difficult, especially through a drive through.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. All turns.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. I'm saying no.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'd like a McChicken Nuggets. I'll say no. I'll say no. Because he can't drive.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going, no.

[Shannon]

You guys are correct. No record of that ever happening.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Who's coming up with the nose here? Whose ideas are that? Are the nose.

[Shannon]

This is chat. GPT's assistance here for the nose.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah. Chachi Beatty. Write me some fake things that I'm.

[Zach Amico]

The famous ones are pissed on the Alamo.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I'm trying to skip over those.

[Zach Amico]

Snorted a line of ants.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He snorted a line of ants.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Man, he really just treated animals like garbage, didn't he?

[Zach Amico]

No, he loved those.

[Shannon]

He also after that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

So Nikki six witnessed that and chip.

[Ally Mae]

On your shoulder about Ozzy Oswe had a chip.

[Zach Amico]

I'd be.

[Shannon]

Nikki6 witnessed that. And Ozzy followed it up by also licking up urine after snorting the ants.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, good.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Good. Fun. Awesome.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, you go.

[Zach Amico]

Cool.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Ozzy. We have to write this song. This is how I do it.

[Shannon]

Bit the head off a dove during a meeting with record execs.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I could see that happening, but I think it's a lie. Now that I know that you've used ChatGPT to make up these lies. That sounds like a ChatGPT lie.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going, yes, because it sounds like a thing where they could have been releasing doves.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And he went, yeah.

[Ally Mae]

No.

[Shannon]

So the answer is he did do it at CBS Records, and they were horrified.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Good. CBS deserves it.

[Shannon]

Shot all of his cats and dogs while on drugs.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, no, no.

[Shannon]

Zach.

[Zach Amico]

No way.

[Shannon]

This is true.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no.

[Shannon]

He admitted this during a very dark time in his addiction. There were 30. There were 13 cats. I don't know how many dogs. And he killed them all with a knife and a gun. Oh, so he loves animals.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no. God. You could have left that one out, Shannon, because we were celebrating the man.

[Shannon]

Is it pretty crazy?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That one's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's insane.

[Zach Amico]

What does he have to do for Sharon to leave him?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Holy shit.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

The Leanne Kreischer of fucking rock and roll. Just get him back up there and make that money. Baby. Mama's got shopping. Something to do.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She was gonna be like, he molested 12 year olds on a carousel. That is true.

[Shannon]

I want to do one more.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Shannon]

It'll be 10 showered in a hotel lobby fountain.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Ally Mae]

Come on.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. I mean, that's. That's like. Any posers do that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I would have. I would have put that before. Killed 13 cats.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Maybe closed with the cats and the dog.

[Shannon]

I can do one more. I can find another one.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Come on.

[Shannon]

This. Okay. Tried to strangle Sharon Osbourne.

[Zach Amico]

While no one faults him for that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Look after. I mean, start to keep bringing this up, but after the dogs and cats thing, I'm gonna say yes to every single thing you say.

[Shannon]

Let me tally up the scores.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. My favorite Osbourne's clip was Sharon talking to Kelly about how they had had Indian food one night, and then she gave Ozzy a blowjob.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

And then he couldn't get the curry smell off his dick for a week.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jesus.

[Zach Amico]

And she's just. They're just laying in bed telling funny stories with, like, 85 dogs jumping around.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, my God.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Used to be 95.

[Zach Amico]

Why does my dick smell? Bang. Why does my dick smell? Bang. Clip that. Shannon, who won.

[Shannon]

So in third place with five points was Brendan.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I lost.

[Shannon]

And with seven points, in second place was Ali. Leaving Zach as the winner with eight.

[Zach Amico]

Points doesn't really count as my game.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And what do we win?

[Zach Amico]

My love and respect. My love, my respect. And the following plugs. Hey guys, what do you want people to check out?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Check me out on Instagram and Twitter. Well, not Twitter or whatever, but Instagram at Brendan Sagalo. And also if you're in the Portland, Maine area, I will be at the Empire Comedy Club August 3rd. Please come after that. Tickets are available now at brendansagolow.com and check out my podcast, SAG Daddy Depod.

[Zach Amico]

Very fun, Sallie Mae.

[Ally Mae]

I'm on Instagram as default programmer. I.

[Zach Amico]

Shut up.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know it's a good name. Makes me laugh.

[Ally Mae]

I just dropped a cracked thing on YouTube. It's 10 minutes. You can love it or hate it on YouTube. I have a show the first Wednesday of every month at the stand called Drip. You can use my code and save money. And on Thursday, July 31, I have Powerbottom, the best damn comedy show in Asbury Park. Come laugh and win prizes, including $69 cash.

[Zach Amico]

Very, very fun. If you guys want to check me out online, go to zackisnotfunny on Instagram. To get tickets to see me live, go to Punch up that live Zachamico. I got a little tour coming up of the South Ski. So I'll be in Nashville, Tennessee August 28, Pulaski, Tennessee on the 29th. Miamisburg, Ohio on August 30 and August 31, Lexington, Kentucky, all with my good pal J. Wall. I'm also on tour with jcw and I'll be at the gathering of the Juggalos. Me, Louis J. Gomez, Big J. Okerson, and Tim Butterly. And if you love the show, go to gas digital.com use that promo code, Zoo Z O o. You save yourself a little bit of money off your subscription. Get early ad episodes. Early ad free and uncensored. You get the archives thousands episodes of your favorite podcast from the Gas Digital universe, as well as you get access to the wonderful live chat. And thank you guys so much for tuning in. We really appreciate the support and moving on. Every woman's worst nightmare caught on camera. See the scary video, Shannon.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, God.

[Shannon]

So this happened in Brazil and I'm just gonna. I'll play the video for you then. If you have questions, I'll answer them.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, God, I hate every moment of this.

[Shannon]

Oh.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So let me Just say, oh, no blurry things.

[Shannon]

I want to say something real quick. So the reason why they ended up checking this footage was because €300 went missing from their apartment, and so they checked the footage to see where it could have gone.

[Ally Mae]

Can I ask how much €300 is?

[Shannon]

I'll look it up after.

[Zach Amico]

Are they naked in bed?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I believe so. I think. I think he's covered in tattoos. I was trying to figure out what was on his body, but. So look. That's the intruder. He has a flashlight and he's just investigating her body.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, God.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, Jesus. This looks like squid game.

[Shannon]

They have no idea he's there.

[Zach Amico]

That's what he's thinking, too. That's so. So he. Is he in all black?

[Shannon]

I don't.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Or is he in like a. Like a nuclear suit?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I'm not sure.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow. I didn't even. Look at that sexy tattooed man, right?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah, look at that dude.

[Zach Amico]

That lizard man.

[Brendan Sagalo]

How did they not wake up? That's so stupid.

[Shannon]

He's good at it.

[Ally Mae]

They could have been drunk. Passed out drunk, you know?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Or she just got the dicking of a lifetime from that tattooed stud, right? And she's exhausted.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Holy shit.

[Zach Amico]

And he's sleeping a peaceful sleep with empty ball.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The.

[Zach Amico]

That is so scary.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's so scary, dude. That's like my worst nightmare.

[Shannon]

They also haven't caught the guy yet.

[Zach Amico]

What? Somebody's staring at you naked with a flashlight guy after you've had the love making of your life.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, no.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, not the guy breaking in at all. Just waking up next to a tattooed guy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, don't knock until you tried it.

[Ally Mae]

You're a tattooed guy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What? Who did this? Let's watch the footage somehow.

[Zach Amico]

But that guy was like. That guy was like a modern, primitive type. He's really done up. Yeah, that's not like the silly me and him.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He looked like. Yeah, he looked like a.

[Zach Amico]

He had man tattoos.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, he had a lizard. Like he looked like a.

[Zach Amico]

Bring that back up. I want to look at that. I want to.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I want to.

[Zach Amico]

I want to look at. That's the real stuff. That man's hot bod.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's the real. Now imagine, Zach, if he was wearing tighty whities, you'd come your.

[Zach Amico]

No. Now this is the looks. He looks like a lizardman.

[Ally Mae]

So nutty.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Why was this guy so. They've never. They haven't found this guy. Why do they have a camera facing their bedroom?

[Zach Amico]

Security camera.

[Shannon]

Yeah. I feel like a Lot of people have that now.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Something doesn't add up here.

[Zach Amico]

You know what? Yeah, because that's not the hotel's camera, right?

[Shannon]

No, it's not a hotel. It's their home.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, so it's their home. Oh, okay.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Then I guess it kind of makes sense.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You have a camera facing your bed.

[Zach Amico]

I used to. Many years ago. I did.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It was hidden between books.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's.

[Shannon]

Maybe they're freaky, though. I mean, look what this guy looks like. Maybe they like to.

[Zach Amico]

All right, stop projecting there, Horny Leehire.

[Ally Mae]

No, I was thinking the same thing.

[Zach Amico]

That it was a buck camera. Yeah, probably.

[Ally Mae]

Why not?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I mean, that guy obviously works for it.

[Ally Mae]

Getting horny on the nanny cam.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, well, the nanny cam did make it a little weirder.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Mr. Sheffield.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You got a little teddy bear cam.

[Zach Amico]

Isn't that what the Manson family used? They called it nightcrawler or creepy crawling. Always sunny as nightcrawlers. I think they called it, like, creepy crawling. And they would go to people's houses and see how long they could, like, sneak around on the floor and they would, like, move their furniture and shit.

[Ally Mae]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Just to fucking practice.

[Ally Mae]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

What are they practicing for?

[Zach Amico]

Murder.

[Brendan Sagalo]

For murdering people.

[Ally Mae]

Okay?

[Zach Amico]

For the many, many murders. The very famous murders.

[Ally Mae]

They never heard of them.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn, that is so fucking weird.

[Zach Amico]

Because it would take me so long to process what was. If I woke up. If my sleep apnea naturally woke me up in the middle of the.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I went and I saw somebody. It would take me so long to go, there's a man in my house. Yeah, there's a man in my house and I need a weapon.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that's because you're drinking fucking 100 milligram lemonades at night. This shit's getting crazy.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, the amount of times I do see a chair or a shirt and think it is a man.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

And I jolt up out of bed screaming.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Anyone who's listening to this now you can. Now you know, you can break into Zach's apartment and if he catches you, just go, you're having a weed nightmare. You too much weed last night. Okay, Sk.

[Zach Amico]

When I would get really high, I. You know the. The Geico commercial? Did the pig really.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Wee, wee, wee. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's me.

[Zach Amico]

When I'm really high, I just have a pinwheel.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I forgot about that commercial. Holy.

[Zach Amico]

That is the. Yeah. Do you think you would wake up and see that and immediately know, like, I gotta fight this guy? Or do you think it would take me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, at First, I'd be like. I think there'd be a moment where I am looking at him being like, what is this?

[Ally Mae]

No, I always think someone's coming, so I would be. I would jump right out of bed.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I bet you do, you fucking whore. Yeah, but you've got, like, train car hobo energy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Not my beans. Like, you got your squirrelly.

[Ally Mae]

I do like my beans.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You're jumpy is what I'm saying.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. I feel like you sleep with, like, a ball mace, like, you know, one of those things next to you.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, I definitely have a weapon. Of course.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What weapon do you have?

[Ally Mae]

I have brass knuckles.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So you're gonna. You're gonna get close to somebody.

[Ally Mae]

I have the ones that have the points that look like cat ears.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Whoa.

[Ally Mae]

Just. Ah.

[Zach Amico]

So. But where do you keep them? Well, do you keep them where you would have them? You'd be able to have them on in five seconds.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Do you sleep with them on? Like, you do your face and your. And then you go, good night.

[Ally Mae]

I mean, my room is kind of like a crazy. There's lots of stuff on my nightstand, so. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You're beating this guy to death with dildo. We both know what you meant by that. Another dildo death.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What other weapons you have? Like a katana?

[Ally Mae]

No, I have a knife. I have a screwdriver.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Screwdriver?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. I was.

[Zach Amico]

You're just describing things in your house.

[Ally Mae]

No, I was going.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I have a desk.

[Ally Mae]

I was going for runs for a while with two screwdrivers because during COVID I accidentally stabbed myself with one, and I broke my skin. And I was like, oh, I never thought of this, but it would be a really good weapon.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You go, eh, it's.

[Ally Mae]

What's that?

[Zach Amico]

What was the second for? I think one should work.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You think you have that in. In you to, like. You have that, like, meant? Like, were you going really for runs?

[Zach Amico]

Like the Terminator 2?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Are you mentally prepared to, like, stab somebody?

[Ally Mae]

I think I could if I had to. My friend got the hiccups the other day, and I don't know what came over me, but I just stabbed it. No, I just. I covered her like this, and she was like. And I'm like, you just have to stop hiccuping.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's crazy.

[Ally Mae]

I know.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Okay, you go, stop hiccuping. Mommy used to hiccup.

[Zach Amico]

Most people try to scare people by saying, boo, not by going, I'm gonna kill you.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, my mom used to do. Look, you know, just make it Stop.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Your mom used to, like, grab your mouth and do it.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, but not in, like, a violent way. Just, like, hold your breath, you know?

[Zach Amico]

I've never heard. I mean, it makes sense. Cause you are supposed to hold your breath. Yeah, but I've never seen a mom suffocate her child.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, you know, nothing crazy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nothing crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that lady, the lady that backed her van up into a lake, she's like. All three kids had hiccups. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No. Mom just used to hold my neck until she heard a crack.

[Ally Mae]

Something about repetitive noises. I have to, like, make them stop. Do you know I get that, like, I can't do it for some reason.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's that called? The, like, mesophilioma or something. What is it called?

[Shannon]

Misophonia.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Misophonia. I think I have mesophonia as well.

[Ally Mae]

If I. If I'm, like, on the phone with someone and their seat belt thing is going off, it, like, makes me feel like I'm, like, exploding. I have to, like, hang up. I have to hang up. I can't do it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

A clock ticking. I could never take a test in school, cuz I just.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn, it sucks if you're ever going to be in the hospital and you have that thing going like, boop, boop.

[Ally Mae]

No, I do.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Kill me.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. No, I've had to go to the emergency room. Like, I had, like, if you. You know, if you have to go to the emergency room and those.

[Zach Amico]

Those.

[Ally Mae]

Those things that could make. That could get me committed just listening to those machines.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What are those machines called?

[Ally Mae]

Over and over again. Like, I don't know, the little.

[Zach Amico]

Little beepers.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Doesn't matter.

[Zach Amico]

The heart rate monitor or whatever.

[Ally Mae]

Your vitals or whatever. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What about if you're at somebody's house in the. The smoke alarms chirping.

[Ally Mae]

I can't do that with the. With the. I ripped.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn. So you. That's why you broke up with all your boyfriends?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Jamal, go get batteries.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn it. Diaries.

[Ally Mae]

Why are all of my boyfriends black?

[Zach Amico]

God damn it. Diaries of a mad black woman.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, it just fell. God damn. The studio's falling apart.

[Zach Amico]

I could. I. I tune out stuff, I think, eventually.

[Ally Mae]

Really? So I think that there's, like, different types of add where. Or like, different ADD kind of like moments where you can handle, like, a lot happening at once and you just completely disassociate. And then other times you're like, I can't do it, you know, Because I do. I have the moments where I can, like, tune things Out. But sometimes.

[Zach Amico]

I had a complete meltdown last weekend.

[Ally Mae]

What?

[Zach Amico]

I was getting ready to go to a concert and Zach meant to say.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He had a complete cheese melt.

[Zach Amico]

No, I. I was. I had hours. I was like, I was fucking ahead on time because I like to give my wife just time now, like, I'll get up a few hours before I have to get ready and shower and get dressed so that she can just have the bathroom.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because I know it's gonna be a fight.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I'm like, scrolling. I'm doing scrolling on my phone, waiting to get dressed. And my landlord calls me and he's like, do you have a flood? And I'm like, no. He's like, well, the people downstairs have a massive flood, so you need to go to the track. I was like, where I was at bathroom or kitchen? He goes, bathroom. The hot water came off the fucking wall.

[Ally Mae]

How do you mean?

[Zach Amico]

The. Not like the. The knob was loose and there was hot water shooting out of it. And my tub fill overflowed.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

And when I opened up the door, it was like a sauna because it was just hot water.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

And then I tried to turn off the water and the bolt was stripped, so I had to grab a giant garbage can and start taking the water and trying to pour it down the toilet while I waited for my super to turn off the water to that whole part of the building.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

And it was so hot in there that by the time I was done, like, my hands were shriveled and holy. And I was, like, having a. I was having a full on panic attack. And he couldn't get the water to turn off. It was awful.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Your neighbors, like, banging on your door and.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, they called him right away. Thank God. But, like, I up there, I felt so bad.

[Ally Mae]

But you didn't do it.

[Zach Amico]

No, but I just felt awful that, like, I didn't hear it.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, you were high.

[Zach Amico]

No, I was not high. It was the middle of the day.

[Ally Mae]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I was not high yet.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You were drunk.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you. I was on crack. It was just one of those things where, like, everything got fucked up. The grout and shit was all fucking peeled off.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Don't cry.

[Zach Amico]

And so I was one of those things where. I know now my super is gonna need to be here for like, three days.

[Ally Mae]

That's anxiety producing and he doesn't speak.

[Zach Amico]

English, so he'll just show up with tools and can't tell me what he's there for. So he was there for, like, two hours for that. And of course, had to take, like, eight trips to go get tools. Because why would you just bring. You. Why wouldn't you just bring your tools?

[Ally Mae]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

If you were super, why wouldn't you just have a cart?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I've never had a super. Bring the tool.

[Ally Mae]

Never. Never. All of us.

[Zach Amico]

Let me go bring, piece by piece, what I need.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then the next day, he was there for, like. And it made me so mad because I just ordered fucking breakfast for me and my wife.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And as it came, he rang the bell, walked in with, like, two giant buckets and was like four or five hours, and I was like, fuck.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God. That sucks.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And it was. And then. Because there's just a man walking in and out of my apartment all day now.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. You can't, like, be your weird self and.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

Do your things that you like to do.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And I can't go to. I just wanted to go back to bed, but I don't want this poor Mexican to fucking walk by me 85 times while I'm snoring.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Cut to you sleeping in a bed, and he's checking your asshole out.

[Zach Amico]

Hello? I gotta get going.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I gotta.

[Zach Amico]

It's like Narnia.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I gotta get my bigger flashlight.

[Zach Amico]

He walks in. All of a sudden, it's Technicolor. Wow.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Take On Me starts playing.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, enough of that silliness. Shannon, what was the other story you had that didn't get on the sheet?

[Shannon]

Oh, it is on the sheet, but I just didn't send it to you beforehand. So it's a woman who follows the cop back to the station because he didn't give someone else a ticket.

[Zach Amico]

It. Oh, yeah, let's watch this crazy person.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, hilarious.

[Shannon]

She loses. She loses her whole mind.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I love that.

[Shannon]

Hold on one sec. Okay, Here you go.

[E]

Doesn't he get a ticket?

[F]

I can help you talk to somebody.

[E]

He didn't use his turn signal.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Can I please call you an ambulance?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I want that woman to help me. Like, like, talk about my tickets.

[E]

Can leave the scene without a turn signal. Give him a ticket.

[Zach Amico]

Do you need an ambulance?

[Brendan Sagalo]

You need turn signal.

[Shannon]

I'm going to pause it one second because I actually did see this full video a while back. And so they ticketed her, and then when the cop left the scene, she's mad. The cop didn't use a turn signal.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, I mean, that. That makes sense. I. I would. I would be a little pissed at that, too. She should fucking sing for, like, hardcore bands.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like, she's overreacting.

[Ally Mae]

I only saw this video in the context of someone put this, like, with hardcore music.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, really?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. And I thought that they over dramatized her voice, but I'm like, she was really sounding that way. Yeah. She should be in a band.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. It's of kind coming from the bell.

[Zach Amico]

You know what?

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's got balls.

[Zach Amico]

I bet she's hard to get along with to make art.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I would take. We all know who she voted for. Am I right? I'm gonna take a wild guess and say she, in her daily life is genuinely unpleasant.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah. She's.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think that's a fun hang.

[E]

You forgot to give me milk in my coffee.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I feel like that's a lady who used the word microaggression. Seriously?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. So what happened to this lady? I really do. I want an update.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn, dude. Imagine having sex with her. Damn.

[Zach Amico]

She'd be very upset you said that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I like that. The glasses. The glasses fall so perfectly.

[E]

He didn't use his turn signal.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nice, dude. She's got a great voice.

[Zach Amico]

Call you an ambulance. Getting more Asian as that went.

[Ally Mae]

Was she Asian?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know. Some sort of Spanish or something there.

[Shannon]

I also feel like that I think she is a little Asian Y of some sort because.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I see what you mean there, Shannon.

[Shannon]

I saw another video of her. I'm trying to think how to even find this, but yeah, and she did look more Asian in the other thing. And she has just a nightmare always.

[Ally Mae]

And is she. Was she screaming like that?

[Zach Amico]

That.

[Shannon]

Yes, she was.

[Brendan Sagalo]

There was another video where she's screaming.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I'm trying to think ahead.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's hilarious, dude. They should have got her to replace Chester Bennington.

[E]

Shut up when I'm talking to you.

[Zach Amico]

No, no. With the rope. Not in the band. She should hang herself.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I do want an update on this lady. What happened to her? I want to see her full body as well.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I want to see how hot she is. Is she.

[Zach Amico]

See?

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know, I want to see LinkedIn.

[Zach Amico]

Because I feel like this lady.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

Is she seems like someone who works at a veterinary hospital.

[Zach Amico]

I was gonna say crazy. Really? H.R.

[Ally Mae]

You think so?

[Zach Amico]

H.R. she gives other people speeches about how to behave in public.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's cool.

[Shannon]

I found the other video.

[Zach Amico]

Please.

[Shannon]

So this is like long version. So we'll have to skip with her face. This is her here. So it's not Asian. She's something. She's ethnic of some sort.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you. Oh, wow. Nice.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She's tight.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ally Mae]

That is such a sick out.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Is that her boyfriend or girlfriend?

[Shannon]

It's girlfriend. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Sorry, Shannon, girlfriend. And that's me as a cop.

[Ally Mae]

I want that outfit.

[Shannon]

I can skip.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You can buy a cop outfit. Oh, you mean her outfit? Yeah, come on, stop running your mouth.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That guy really. Wait, wait, wait. Why are we.

[E]

Like that? What you mean because you're ugly? Oh, touch me, don't let touch me.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Fresh tattoo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, that's.

[Zach Amico]

There's some gabage going on here.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I need my A D ointment.

[E]

Are you guys serious right now? Relax. We are not the ones you guys are after, bro.

[F]

Get it? Then calm down and calm down.

[E]

Her and her girlfriend are the one fighting tonight. What do you guys are on to? Step off. And she not listening to you. And you're not going to care. We are not the one.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, who is talking to who here?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, I can't understand it.

[Zach Amico]

Can someone talk like a cop?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So wait, what. What did this happen first? And then she's. She's just on a power trip and then comes the ticket video.

[Shannon]

Oh. They're calling this one the Give him a ticket sequel. So I think that the other one came first. Then this one came. She's 21 years old.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Shannon]

So I think this is like a follow up.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Mental health is so fragile, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I bet that good though. Yeah, I bet that grip.

[Shannon]

Do you want to watch more of it or.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ally Mae]

You're compounding here.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I need to see more of it actually.

[Ally Mae]

What does compounding mean?

[Zach Amico]

Adding to started detaining me because she.

[E]

Had a power trip and now you guys are acting like infants.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that sentence was all this is your problem. Like this is your fault.

[E]

You kept walking away from the car. But I didn't. Yes, you did. You said. You said oh my God, here we go. And then you started acting like a five year old.

[Zach Amico]

She got five years older in the sentence though.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Tell me how I look. Here's the thing. I'm all for, you know, the police a little bit. You know, I. I have tons of cops in my family and so I'm, you know, there's a little.

[Zach Amico]

And they've all molested you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They've all molested me. I've all. I've literally them. No, no, I'm saying I literally them.

[Ally Mae]

You have tons of cops in your family?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but just two. But they're huge.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What do you think? What do you think? Get her, boys. But I do think when you're in a position like this, I Don't think there's any cop that will have. If you go, you're acting like a five year old and you're fucking power tripping. And fuck you. A cop's gonna go, you know what? Yeah, you're right.

[Zach Amico]

You got a point, kid.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You got a point. Well, he told.

[Zach Amico]

You know what? Put these on me. Why don't we talk your way out of this?

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know what? We're going in together. Drop your screwdrivers. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, look at you two. Yeah, being friends.

[Ally Mae]

We're basically married now. Just kidding. But you do have herpes.

[Zach Amico]

Again.

[Ally Mae]

Again. Is this the Body Brain coffee?

[Zach Amico]

No, the Body Brain coffee you have to request because it's freeze dried. It's a different thing.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Anyway, I want to keep watching this. Yeah, I want to see this lady lose it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I want to see her get tased. I know that sounds bad, but.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Dude, are you. Are you? Because you clearly weren't on the phone with the dispatcher.

[F]

I'm asking you again.

[E]

No. When your supervisor gets here, I'll get in the car.

[F]

I am her supervisor. Get in the car.

[E]

You're not the supervisor. Yeah, you wouldn't be this slow if you were the supervisor in the car.

[Zach Amico]

This. This chick's got brass balls.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[E]

What the is gonna happen when I get in the car? I didn't do mom in the car. Shut up. I'm talking to my friends.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, there it is.

[Brendan Sagalo]

There it is. Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The breakdown.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that's. That's. That's going in a Skrillex breakdown.

[E]

You're taking my phone right now.

[F]

Ma', am, can you please tell her to comply?

[Zach Amico]

J.

[E]

Why are they touching me?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn, bro.

[E]

Mom, why are they touching me?

[Shannon]

Did you see her wig was next to her?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Her eyes like.

[Shannon]

That's her wig.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Holy.

[Zach Amico]

Kaylie, just get in the car. She's over it. The mom's so done.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, I would love if they went like, okay, you know what? Yeah, you can go. And then she's in the car going. And that's how you do it, boys.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Did she try and pull in? I can't breathe.

[Shannon]

Yes, she did. It happens in 90% of body cam footage.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you. Oh, there was. There was the Jaylen's mom. There was. There was the Jaylen's mom of body cam footage watcher Shannon.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Little blue line on Shannon.

[Ally Mae]

She said she definitely has mental health issues.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Yes. Real recognize, real right, Ally.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah, I.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'd love to see you getting put in the cop car. See what your Voice can do.

[E]

I didn't touch you. Why the are you arresting me when I didn't do. When we called theing cops so you can deal with the other people stealing their property. What are you doing? Cuz I'm not even involved. I was walking away kind of.

[Zach Amico]

This lady is a psycho. I love it. Come back in a second. Don't worry.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She'S Spanish.

[Zach Amico]

No. You think?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. Yeah. That's all. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. That's all you needed?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. No, it was this. You want to keep touching me?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then she just went.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This stupid white lady country.

[Zach Amico]

Holy.

[E]

Can I please have my phone back?

[F]

I'm not taking it from you.

[E]

Like, my friend literally works here. Like, this is so embarrassing.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[F]

If you listen to me, I'll explain to you why you're in the.

[E]

I was listening to you, but then your stupid co worker is talking about how she gonna detain me. And you're just okay with that when I didn't even do anything? I am sick of white people pushing me over.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yep.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm not saying you.

[E]

I don't give a about you. Like, cool. You didn't take my land. You didn't pillage my people.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[E]

What?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Your land? Your land?

[Ally Mae]

My people.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on, hold on.

[E]

I'm gone. Can you please just explain?

[Zach Amico]

There's no way. This is not privileged.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, of course. Where's she from? That. That white people took her. Her. Her land? I'm not sure I believe white people didn't take Beverly Hills.

[Shannon]

Let me see if it says it here. No, I'm not sure.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jayla. Jayla, The. The scream queen.

[Zach Amico]

I love the mom on the. I just get in the car.

[Brendan Sagalo]

In the car.

[Ally Mae]

This is an everyday type of.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, it's so sad, man. You know, it's like, imagine if your kid had like, mental issues like that and you. You just can't like, you're not gonna like, leave them. You know what I mean? You gotta be like, get in the car. Do this. It's. It's a lot not to make this serious.

[Zach Amico]

So I was thinking about. I was thinking about. I was thinking about how bad I feel for dudes that are with her or girls that are with her. But then I think about. Imagine just being her neighbor.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. You're like, turn down that racket. Go. That's my voice. That's your voice. They're going. Listen to this.

[Ally Mae]

Crazy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know that sound you were looking for?

[Ally Mae]

That's exactly what I was gonna listen to.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, you know that shrieking cunt you've Been looking for.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's that scene in Elvis. He goes, annie's what?

[Zach Amico]

And she's Dominican.

[Brendan Sagalo]

We gotta finish this video. I want to know what happens.

[Zach Amico]

Of course.

[E]

Okay, so. Okay, so can I just. Not us talk for 30 seconds.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Dude, wouldn't it be so funny if you're a cop? How, How. How much you're tempted to just like, look around and be like. Like, say something up just to be like, oh, have her go like, oh, no one's going to believe you.

[Zach Amico]

It is true. I raped, pillaged your family.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She's like, oh, he said that.

[E]

Oh, what's going on.

[Zach Amico]

Huh?

[F]

You can't. You can't engage in a car pursuit. Okay? Can you listen to this?

[Zach Amico]

And your fentanyl should be kicking in in five.

[F]

Okay? So when you calm down, all you.

[E]

People do is me over.

[F]

Okay, well, let me explain this to you again then, okay? You are under arrest.

[E]

For what?

[Brendan Sagalo]

This is what you hit her with, by the way. When she goes, all you people do is me over. This is what you say. You go. Well, honey, if everybody smells like, maybe you should chick under your shoe.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, I hate that. I know. It's a great tattoo. You should be tased through that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

All right, let's see.

[F]

Stop talking, please. I can explain it to you. You scratched the hell out of my arm, okay? You did. Can I explain it to you?

[E]

I said, can you prove it? Not explain. I said, can you prove it?

[F]

Put your leg in the car.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, that's for the court, isn't there?

[E]

And I want to go the home because you stupid white are stopping me from going home.

[F]

You're not going home, okay? Please put your leg in the car.

[E]

If I'm not going home, why the would I make it easier? You're trying to talk to me. I'm talking calm and you're not compromising.

[F]

Am I not calm?

[E]

Let me go.

[Zach Amico]

How.

[E]

How the am I involved?

[F]

Put your leg in the car.

[E]

No, answer me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jesus Christ, lady, you're amping up again.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, so what is the amping up again? Is this. There's a lot of other words he got. Yeah, he cycled through before amping. Yeah, yeah, and spicking out. No, I can't do that, ma'. Am. You're being real Puerto Rican about this, man. You're bordering on.

[E]

What the are you looking at with your stupid drug self? Why the can you not look at one area with your eyes straight with your stupid self? Yo, why don't you get the out.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Of here, you damn, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I still think there Might be a little Asian in there.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She got Asian in her.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Does she want a little Asian in her.

[Zach Amico]

So hold on. Cuz she. It's real Puerto Rican. And then it hits an alley wong.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like the G. The ghetto. I feel there's a little ghetto Asian in there.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[E]

Property that I started this with. Give it to my hand.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Calm down.

[E]

Give me my phone.

[Zach Amico]

Your mom will be pretty sure I.

[E]

Said that as calm as I can. Give me my goddamn mother phone. Oh look at. Look at you work.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She's wearing crosses on her ears.

[E]

I was talking and you hesitated and now you're pointing at your camera.

[F]

Everything is on audio.

[E]

You can't point at your camera. Hi. Thank you. Yeah we are on audio or video. I don't care. Hesitated the. I started cussing cuz you're offended.

[F]

I'm not offended at all.

[E]

You're offended.

[F]

Get you to put your. So we don't have to add another charge.

[E]

Another charge for what?

[F]

Obstructing a police officer.

[E]

My property to my hand.

[F]

Put your leg in the car.

[E]

What's so wrong with me having my.

[Zach Amico]

Phone in my the home? 70 times. 70 times.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I like that.

[Zach Amico]

There's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah there's a little like everything is on popup on your end.

[E]

That's why everybody dies and gets away with it.

[F]

I don't want you to hyperventilate.

[Zach Amico]

Everyone does die and get away with it. In her defense.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. No one's ever died and not gotten away with it.

[Ally Mae]

Do you know when you die you.

[Zach Amico]

Die 20, 30 years ago pre body camp how fast the girl cop would have ran over and closed the door on this shins.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. I mean 300 kicked her inside of there.

[Zach Amico]

Oh she would have started on the other end of the parking lot and yelled Sparta.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Yeah they do still do that with the body cams.

[Ally Mae]

They get all crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah but I just want to see. I just want to see the door get slammed across her sheds. Should have put your legs in the car lady.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Again there is a. You know I'm all for down with the police and all that but how do you watch this and not feel kind of bad for them? You know what I mean? Like how do you go like cops do have to deal with up like this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. The worst people all day every day.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. For every like one person that like you know whatever. I don't want to get off on a little tangent there.

[Zach Amico]

We can agree that we're all adults and we live in a world of great of shades of gray.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Everything. Everything's not black and white. All fucking minorities are not criminals.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All cops are not fucking evil.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There's bad people on both sides. And depending on which side of the media you subscribe to, your algorithm and your own personal choices are going to lead you to see what you want to believe.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Right? And she could be as innocent as. As the day is long. But her screaming and acting like this, even I want to punch her right in her fucking face and be like, shut the upper up. Shut up before I brutal brutality you.

[Zach Amico]

Brutality.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Brutality. That's what the cops say before they beat somebody up. They go, brutality.

[Shannon]

I don't know if you could see the note at the top of the screen completely, but it said in the raw footage, the woman asked for her phone 32 times.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Wow.

[E]

Why can't I have my phone in my mouth? Reason. Can I? So you're saying that you took my phone away from me without legal cause.

[Zach Amico]

Because you had it in your hand.

[F]

For resisting, obstructing a police officer, reckless driving.

[E]

Okay, you guys are so. This is why ain't nobody give a about you guys and why everybody wish your first born was dead as.

[F]

Please put your leg in.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What first born?

[F]

Nothing but cool with you, bro.

[Ally Mae]

Dead.

[E]

Where's my phone?

[F]

Laid on top of the.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Imagine if he goes, it's under there. She goes, under where? And he goes.

[Zach Amico]

Goes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Gotcha.

[F]

I'm asking you question.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I would have. I would have butterfingers that phone into a sewer grate.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So whoops, you go, here it is. Crack.

[Zach Amico]

I hate this broad.

[E]

Been asking kindly. You've been asking kindly for audio for video purposes. But you've been a this whole time, bro. How are they going inside, bro? How. Stop kicking the my.

[Zach Amico]

The boots.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She has shiny Neil diamond boots.

[E]

Shut up when I'm talking to you. Give me my phone. Give me my phone.

[Zach Amico]

It's not. It's not. This isn't.

[E]

Give me my phone. Are you. Do you not know how to put a phone in my hand?

[Ally Mae]

Only a woman could speak to a cop.

[Zach Amico]

Oh my God. This is female privilege. The video.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah. It's also like, you know, she's got these like liberalisms and stuff. Like you took my land and. But then she's also like. And you're up.

[E]

Who keeps saying, so I can do what the you want, but the second I do what the you want, you're just going to close the door and walk away. Cuz I'm not. And I know the how the you work. Cuz you are all stupid. Yeah, till my mom tell me that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Where's the little pop up that said how many times he's asked her to put her feet in the car?

[Zach Amico]

75 times.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It said, dude, how many black men are watching this and being like this? Like. Like, just do what you do to us. Just throw her in the thing and hit her.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, this is a girl that dates a black guy and says the N word right? When they're having sex or around the house.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Like, you want some eggs?

[Zach Amico]

No. It would be like that. Crazy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I could say it, right?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Baby, I could say it. We're watching Lord of the Rings. Oh, that Sam is crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Whatever. Why don't they ring so bad.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Man? That's the farthest that that motherfucker's ever been from the Shire.

[E]

That a volcano.

[Zach Amico]

Black women watching Lord of the Rings.

[E]

Why the Am I the only one in a car?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn. I would be really. I'd be on my third big gulp watching this outside that gas station.

[E]

Last time in I spent weeks somewhere I didn't even want to be.

[Ally Mae]

Jail.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Three counts of aggregated battery on a peace officer, disorderly conduct, and making a false comp complaint to 911. The woman was found guilty of the false complaint to 911. All the other charges were dropped.

[Zach Amico]

She yelled her way out of all this.

[Ally Mae]

Wow.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Maybe she a good lawyer. I don't know.

[Ally Mae]

Well, picture her in court. Judges eventually, like, we have to move along.

[Shannon]

Well, this is why she keeps acting this way. Her mother is also coddling her. She's 21 years old, so she's never going to not be a nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, maybe somebody will kill her.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Maybe she'll take meds. Take your meds, Jayla. Come on. Come on. Come home to daddy. I'll give you some meds. We'll watch.

[Zach Amico]

But here's the thing. This is. This is a boy who cried wolf situation. Anyone who screamed, screamed wolf and plays the victim this much.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Will be made a victim.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah. And eventually, when it actually happens, like.

[Zach Amico]

And I hate to say this. And by the way, you know what? I'll even say guys, too.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

How many people do we know over the years who every single person they've ever dated has been crazy and abusive.

[Ally Mae]

Means you're the crazy and absolute.

[Zach Amico]

And it's the same story every time they meet a new dude. Or let's say for the sake of argument, it's a chick. Because it is. They meet a new guy, everything's amazing. And then the cracks start coming in the armor, and then she posts something shitty you know, on Facebook, online, like, can't believe I'm not even allowed to do my own. Blah, blah, blah. Some passive aggressive towards him, then all of a sudden go, fund me. I gotta move. He hit me. He made me get an abortion. Hubla, blah, blah, blah. And then you go. And you see the next guy coming.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She's from the Middle East. Hubla, blah, blah, blah.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. And then you see the next guy coming, and he's perfect. He's perfect. He's the. He's the love of her life. He's saving her from all this.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And you just go tick top, right? And then you can't deal with the sound, but it's the same. Every guy that you meet, you're like, oh, every girl I've ever met has been crazy. That's because you made them that way. Right? And it's gonna be one of how many girls have you met where every dude they've ever met has been abusive. And, you know, some of them. You know some of the dudes. And you go, no, he's not.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That girl, one day she gonna get that ass beat.

[Ally Mae]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because it's coming.

[Ally Mae]

Gonna try the wrong one.

[Zach Amico]

That pet, that pendulum, she's gonna pop off because she's so used to saying, you hurt me. You did this to me. And one guy one day is gonna go, oh, did I?

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then. Oh, boy.

[Ally Mae]

Let's make it true that.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sorry. Sorry if that was a little negative.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, no, no, I don't think it's negative at all. I think that's.

[Zach Amico]

I just think it's. So many times I've seen it.

[Ally Mae]

You're pressing some of Brendan's buttons right now.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, you know, I've. Share of.

[Zach Amico]

DB what am I, the front of his jeans or something?

[Ally Mae]

Them.

[Zach Amico]

Crazy cra. Crazy comic in the. What is my new. I have to get out. I'm a famous comedian in New York City. I have a show at the former Village Lantern tonight. It's me and Derek Gaines. My career is going excellent.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Can we watch the end of this?

[Zach Amico]

Yes, please.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Or is it great Crazy.

[Shannon]

You can finish it. So just a note. That thing that you read at the top of the screen, the part that you can't see is that. That was three months prior to this. Those aren't these charges. This is a different thing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that. That's the. That's the smartest thing.

[E]

She says I spit on anybody who the. I wanted to, and it wasn't you, so shut the. The up.

[F]

Just please put your Legs in the car.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Close the door.

[Zach Amico]

Close the door. Phone.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You.

[E]

Bet you have, you stupid. Clean that.

[Zach Amico]

Whoa.

[E]

Hurry the up.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What is this girl's full name so I can.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wait.

[Shannon]

It says Shan.

[Zach Amico]

You got to read it to us.

[Shannon]

It says her behavior did not improve.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hold on.

[Shannon]

I can't see. It's covered. After arriving to jail, she reportedly reminded remained irate with the jail staff, prompting them to deploy pepper spray on her. Later, she struck a correction officer, causing the officer's nose to bleed.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Whoa.

[Shannon]

It is funny with those boots.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, the boots are hilarious. She's like, I just wanted to do. I just.

[Shannon]

There's gonna be glitter everywhere in the.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Back of that car.

[Shannon]

As a result, she was charged with three counts of aggravated battery on peace or correction officer, along with resisting a peace officer, obstructing a peace officer, reckless driving, and disobeying a stop sign.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Just cause you got inside, you don't.

[Zach Amico]

Tell me what to do.

[Ally Mae]

So scary.

[Zach Amico]

I don't listen to octagons for.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Who taught you octagon?

[Shannon]

The court enrolled the woman in spit in therapeutic monitoring program, which is design designed to address the root cause of criminal behavior through individualized treatment and supervision.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She's like, I just wanted to do the cotton I j. Tonight. Yes.

[Zach Amico]

It's all.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Hang on. Look at her.

[Shannon]

You see her wig on her shoe? Go back a little bit.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Her wig came off.

[Shannon]

Yeah, it's on. It's on her shoe when she steps out. Watch, watch.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Look. Hilarious.

[Shannon]

The prosecutor dropped all the charges against the woman. This is why she's gonna keep doing it.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

What so ridiculous.

[Ally Mae]

Nuts stuff on the floor.

[E]

Okay. It don't matter. Can I please step out now? Now. I'm fine. Can I please step out? This seat belt is not on me. Can I please step out?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I got to look this lady up. I have to follow her from now on.

[Zach Amico]

We hope her hair grows back.

[E]

Intoxicating. Stupid white. Privileged.

[Ally Mae]

Wow. Wow.

[Zach Amico]

The exhaustion in Shannon's voice when she goes. 90% of them say, I camper or I'm pregnant. Eeyore of body cam footage.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, well.

[Zach Amico]

Well, many of them say, hands up. I can't breathe. But they can breathe. Shannon, thank you very much. What a fun way to end today's show. Do we want to do one more before we get out of here? Shan, do we have one more video? Anything fun?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Viral ugly guy video draws in a beautiful bride. Let's end something fun.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Okay.

[Shannon]

So hold on one second. Let me just. I'll pull up The Instagram. And then if you want to see a little bit of the video, I have it. So this is the article that I found.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah, I saw this. Good for that guy.

[Shannon]

Yeah. So this YouTuber posted a video seven years ago just about being ugly and not ugly people not posting on online. And then this woman responded to it. Oh, so this is the video being ugly.

[E]

She's just like them.

[Shannon]

And then. So this woman commented, I actually think you're kind of cute, to be honest. I mean it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And then he. And then. And then he slipped into her DMs.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Shannon]

And then they. And she ended up going to visit him in Sweden. They got married.

[Zach Amico]

Good for them.

[Shannon]

And have a baby on the way.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, look at that little ugly baby.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's amazing.

[Zach Amico]

They're gonna have a half hot, half ugly baby.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. I hope. I hope the baby doesn't get his eyes and face.

[Zach Amico]

Good for that. That's a. That is a beautiful thing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

A great story.

[Zach Amico]

Good for them. I'm happy for him.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. I hope that works. For other stuff, I'm gonna post a video online going, I'll never be wealthy. Go. Someone goes, I actually think I want to give you money.

[Zach Amico]

Tbh.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean it.

[Ally Mae]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Chauvin. Yeah. All right. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Please support my guests Brendan Sagalo and Allie maybe. And we have an exclusive episode coming to you this Friday with Joe Gorman and Tim McLaughlin. And thank you so much for tuning in to the old Morning Zoo. Enjoy the crew. It's a morning too. It's Akamiko morning.