0031. T.J. Miller and Robbie Goodwin

Summary

The Luis and Zac Show
Episode 0031: T.J. Miller and Robbie Goodwin
Release Date: January 26, 2025

Hosted by the dynamic duo Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico, Episode 0031 of The Luis and Zac Show brings together comedians T.J. Miller and Robbie Goodwin for a lively and unfiltered conversation. This episode delves into various aspects of comedy, personal struggles, pop culture, and politics, all delivered with the hosts' signature humor and candidness.

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Introduction of Guests

The episode kicks off with a playful banter as Luis and Zach introduce their guests, T.J. Miller and Robbie Goodwin. The chemistry between the hosts and guests sets a relaxed and humorous tone for the rest of the show.

• Luis J. Gomez (00:02): "We're back. It's a Wednesday."
• Zach Amico (02:30): "Puerto Rican international superstar Zacho is here. What's up, Kuden?"

Personal Journeys and Body Image

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around personal transformations, particularly focusing on weight loss and body image. Luis shares his weight loss journey, reflecting on his past struggles and the psychological impact it had on him.

• Luis J. Gomez (07:50): "I used to weigh almost 350 pounds... I have veins in my arms and my shoulders right now."
• Zach Amico (08:23): "If she's not gonna ejaculate, then I think it's gentlemanly to not finish. To not finish, to not finish."

T.J. Miller and Robbie Goodwin also open up about their own experiences with body image and the challenges they've faced, adding depth to the conversation.

Comedy and Mental Health

The discussion shifts to the intersection of comedy and mental health. T.J. Miller talks about his anxiety and how it influences his comedic style, describing himself as a "neurotic comedian."

• T.J. Miller (04:14): "I think it's just overthinking. I just overthink a lot."
• Zach Amico (04:46): "I like Matt Bergman. Shout. And Kelly Collette. Shout."

The hosts and guests explore how their personal struggles shape their humor, making their comedy relatable and authentic.

Pop Culture and Influential Comedians

Louis, Zach, and T.J. Miller delve into discussions about influential figures in the comedy world, mentioning comedians like Louis C.K., Dave Chappelle, and John Mulaney.

• Zach Amico (22:31): "I think Chappelle and I would tell Chappelle this. I think Louie's better and more consistent."
• Luis J. Gomez (23:18): "Louie's incredible. And he's got such a large body of work."

They compare different comedic styles and the impact these comedians have had on the industry, highlighting the importance of authenticity and evolution in comedy.

Politics and Controversial Topics

The conversation takes a turn towards politics, with the hosts and guests discussing figures like Elon Musk and Donald Trump. They critically analyze Musk's actions during the inauguration and draw parallels between Trump's rhetoric and historical figures.

• Luis J. Gomez (39:08): "If he's being funny, fine. I just don't know that that's the place to be that type of funny."
• Zach Amico (73:12): "Donald Trump literally has said, I read that book. I've read Hitler's speeches. And it's his playbook."

This segment is particularly intense, blending humor with serious commentary on current events and their implications.

Cryptocurrency and Financial Insights

Zach introduces a light-hearted discussion on cryptocurrency, specifically Bitcoin, sharing his optimistic outlook despite market fluctuations.

• Zach Amico (43:07): "Doesn't matter. Buy right now. It's gonna be a million dollars."
• Luis J. Gomez (43:02): "It went down to $89,000 last week."

The conversation offers insights into the volatile nature of cryptocurrency and the hosts' personal investment strategies, adding an educational layer to the episode.

Interpersonal Relationships and Friendships

The hosts and guests explore the complexities of relationships, both personal and professional. They discuss the challenges of maintaining friendships in the entertainment industry and the importance of mutual respect and support.

• Zach Amico (75:07): "You're one of my favorite people in the world."
• Louis J. Gomez (76:08): "You're an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a piece of bacon."

This heartfelt exchange underscores the genuine connections formed within the comedy community, highlighting the support system among peers.

Sexual Health and Humor

In a more risqué segment, the conversation shifts to sexual health with a humorous twist. The hosts and guests discuss topics like intercourse techniques and sexual anxieties, blending candidness with comedy.

• Zach Amico (31:39): "If the girl doesn't ejaculate, then I think it's gentlemanly to not finish."
• TJ Miller (34:27): "I get upset, and she's between me and the wall."

Despite the explicit nature, the discussion remains light-hearted, reflecting the show's unapologetic approach to all topics.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and guests share final thoughts, promote upcoming events, and express gratitude towards one another. The camaraderie and mutual respect among them leave listeners with a sense of connection and anticipation for future episodes.

• Zach Amico (77:03): "I think if I had one wish, it would be that each of your dreams came true."
• Louis J. Gomez (77:45): "We became good friends."

Notable Quotes

• Zach Amico (01:10): "I always do the gay stuff. I call people gay. I like, call myself gay. And I have sex with men."
• T.J. Miller (04:14): "I think it's just overthinking. I just overthink a lot."
• Zach Amico (43:07): "Doesn't matter. Buy right now. It's gonna be a million dollars."
• Louis J. Gomez (73:36): "It's crazy. Last time it was like the world was ending."
• Zach Amico (31:39): "If the girl doesn't ejaculate, then I think it's gentlemanly to not finish."

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Conclusion

Episode 0031 of The Luis and Zac Show offers a blend of humor, candid conversations, and insightful discussions with comedians T.J. Miller and Robbie Goodwin. From personal struggles and body image to comedy's role in addressing mental health and the complexities of political discourse, this episode encapsulates the show's essence—a wild, unfiltered ride through diverse and often controversial topics. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this episode provides a comprehensive glimpse into the raw and unapologetic world of Luis and Zac.

Transcript

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[TJ Miller]

You're listening to the Gas Digital network.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Zach Amico]

You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko, red dot, head shot, need a sniper. The Puerto Rican point guard striking like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A viper.

[Zach Amico]

And it came to attack spilling crack on the track. Spin straight facts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's right. We're back. It's a Wednesday. We're here live on gasdigital.com. shout out to all the subscribers that are in the racist live chat calling me gay right now. You guys are the best. Love you guys. Without this man. Trust me with a bunch of different accounts.

[Zach Amico]

I always do the gay stuff. I call people gay. I like, call myself gay. And I have sex with men.

[TJ Miller]

That's a. That's a great.

[Zach Amico]

One of my all time favorite sexual men.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, okay. That's good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, I'm very happy about today's show. This is going to be a great one. Go subscribe to gas digital.com if you're watching this on YouTube or iTunes or anywhere else, you should know we do an uncensored version and an ad free version of this show just for guest digital subscribers. And get access to the races live chat pre release on all the episodes. Live premiere on the episodes, plus a bonus episode every Friday just for subscribers. Use that promo code, Laz. You get a discount. Why not? Why not save a little bit of cashola?

[Zach Amico]

I can just imagine you saying that into the mirror before you go out of the apartment every day.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I don't practice. I just wing it.

[Zach Amico]

It just comes out of your goddamn mouth.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm. I'm that good. I'm the plug king, baby boy.

[Zach Amico]

I'm here for Zach.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know you are. He made it very clear. TJ was like, dude, if Zach's not there, I don't. He's like, I don't like.

[Zach Amico]

That's actually what I said when I came in.

[TJ Miller]

He's not. He's not lying.

[Zach Amico]

I said it so loud that Zach hear me through this.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, he came in and he was.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I'm here for Zach. That's a great impression. Did you know that these. This is all bulletproof glass. You know that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, no, I know. I installed it. Sometimes. Sometimes crazy, crazy people show up. We've had a lot of guy who.

[Zach Amico]

Won'T pay a Mexican to put anything.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I do it myself.

[Zach Amico]

Do it yourself.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Puerto Rican international superstar Zacho is here. What's up, Kuden?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Could be a great Wednesday, buddy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's gonna be a great Wednesday, it's a big. This is the ascension era of the Lewis and Zach show. We're bringing in great guests. We got T.J. miller, Robbie Goodwin's here. Do we say we saved the A team for the show now, at this point tomorrow, when Shannon. When Shannon.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No, this is a team.

[Zach Amico]

Technically, that is a bummer.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When Shannon was booking the show, it was getting a little bleak. I got to be honest with you guys. It was a lot of. Who is that guy? Who is that gal? Who we doing favors for? We're not doing favors for anybody, Shannon. That's just the. The reality. T.J. miller's here. Very excited to have you on the show.

[Zach Amico]

I'm excited to be here with Zach.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, what about Louis?

[Zach Amico]

Is he here? Zach, I feel like you and I haven't really known each other. You guys okay? I feel like you and I haven't really known each other until this podcast.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like we always cross paths. I don't know about mutual respect, but I've always had a lot of respect for you.

[Robbie Goodwin]

You're very kind, but not known.

[Zach Amico]

I met you at the SDR show. You look like a lunatic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, I like this guy.

[TJ Miller]

Right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He's not trying.

[Robbie Goodwin]

One of us gave the. One of us gave the other one. Covid.

[Zach Amico]

That's true.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Because we both got it. That. We both got it that day.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we did. That was the best covet I ever had. Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That was my. That was my strain.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The great Robbie Goodwin.

[Zach Amico]

It's hyphenated. It's a long name.

[Louis J. Gomez]

From the crowd of boys, the great Robbie Goodwin is here as well. We're happy to have you, Robbie. Don't be. Don't be a little nervous because TJ's here. I know it's a big guest. You're. You know, Robb. Robbie will get in his head sometimes, so shut. Robin, I've turned.

[Zach Amico]

Robbie, are you a neurotic?

[Louis J. Gomez]

One of the best podcasters in the world?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, I'm a little fucking. Yeah. I get, like, anxious sometimes.

[Zach Amico]

In your head.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, but I'm not.

[Zach Amico]

Where do you think that comes from?

[TJ Miller]

Evil mom? No, I think. I think it's. I don't know, just overthinking. I just overthink a lot.

[Zach Amico]

Does that contribute to your comedy?

[TJ Miller]

I think so, yeah. Makes me funny on stage, but, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Did you describe yourself as an erotic comedian?

[TJ Miller]

No, I don't think so, because my two.

[Zach Amico]

One of my two favorite comedians. Two of my favorite comedians are Matt Bergman. Shout. And Kelly Collette. Shout. And they're both neurotics. You don't see many neurotic comedians anymore who are kind of collapsing themselves. They talk about, I'm like, what am I doing? You know? And Jamie Lissow is the other. Like, really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jamie List was very funny. I don't know the other two. Which is it? Kelly. Kelly is the name of a hot. I don't know what she looks like. I don't know who she is, but that is. That's a hot girl.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the weird thing. She's fudgeing hot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I bet she's very, very Kelly Colette. I want to say.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, what you got?

[Zach Amico]

I have to say, she's so fudgeing funny. And then Matt Bergman, which is not the name of a hot girl at all. Bergman. He's also a neurotic, but both of them. Yeah, that's Kelly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, hell yeah.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, hey, Kelly.

[Zach Amico]

Thing. And I believe this. And Zach's been through this quite a few times. I believe that if you're a really hot girl, really handsome guy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You kind of. You're. You're up against a lot the second you hit the stage.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because people are like, I don't want to laugh at this person. And I like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's also. Typically, you don't have to. You have this, like, cheat code in life where you don't really have to be cool or funny or interesting. You're just walking around in life.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Don't pretend like that's the case for you. But I really, really. It's hard for us hot guys out there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that your impression of me?

[Zach Amico]

No, that's my brush. I feel like she had this great point, and I had never thought of this. She's like. I get on stage and she's not like, look how hot I am. But I sort of cornered her on the radio and I said, you know, what do you. I just asked her the experience of being a beautiful girl that's doing standup, and she brought this thing I never would have thought of. She said, girls kind of are like, I don't. Some of them are like, I don't think women are funny. I don't want to. I'm not going to laugh at this girl. The other ones are like, I don't like that girl. She was. She reminds me of the girl that was mean to me in junior high or whatever. And she said, guys are afraid to laugh too hard because their girlfriends or wives were. Oh, she thinks she's funny. What else do you think? So that was really interesting. And I think that's why she is so, like, forthright with her neuroses, because then immediately people are like, she's damaged.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, she's trauma. She's been traumatized enough to be here.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It humanizes her more.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Does she. Does she have. Does she have slutty photos? Because if she's not dressing slutty, then I respect it. The problem is if they get. If they start doing all, like, the Thirst Trap photos and all that stuff.

[Zach Amico]

But she does.

[TJ Miller]

Unless they're Ja Ying Summers, in which case keep them coming.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, get more here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Joeyang's also hilarious.

[TJ Miller]

She's really weird.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Who is weird as bitch? Asian girl. She shows up, like, every month or two, and she's just, like, Canadian.

[TJ Miller]

No, she's Chinese as hell.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she's straight up.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, she's like, off the boat. Like, there's a.

[Zach Amico]

There's a. Really. Okay. I don't know about all that. So my wife's best friend is Chinese Lily. So that the Kelly doesn't get thirsty, but she kind of like. She'll do. She's like, which of these dresses should I throw out?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ah.

[Zach Amico]

And then she models different dresses, and it's like, yeah, part of it is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But, I mean, look, if you got it, you should use some.

[Zach Amico]

Or some version of using it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

See, I do thirst traps online, but I. I used to be £340, right? So I. Now. This is like a progress journey. This is like. And when you tell people that, too, is that true? Yeah. Yeah. I used to be. Used to weigh almost 350 pounds.

[Zach Amico]

We see a picture of that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shannon, if you just type in fat Louis J. Gomez, there's a picture of me, like, almost naked while Beatrice was pregnant. This. And I just. I was fucking. I was huge.

[Zach Amico]

I'd love to see that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Please try to find it. Shannon, on the end, the one of.

[Robbie Goodwin]

You on your phone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Am I on my phone? I'm just a side profile.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I think you're on your flip. You're on a flip phone.

[Zach Amico]

Flip phone is great.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's a goddamn nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

Well, this is awesome, man. And so now that you've kind of gotten to the point where you've cut that weight, do you think you increased. Did you cut the weight but gain a lot of vanity? Do you hear what I did there?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, I did Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't like it either.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I mean, I.

[Zach Amico]

Are you a vain man?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I have veins in my arms and my shoulders right now.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, there he is, bragging about his goddamn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm just letting you know.

[Zach Amico]

No, But I mean, do you consider yourself a vain.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I'm not. Because you're. Once you lose weight like that, you still have, like, body dysmorphia and you still see yourself as a fat guy.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, I'll be.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because you used to be fat too, right?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, Yeah, I was almost like £300.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's really.

[Zach Amico]

Also. Yeah, I talked.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's nothing hot about.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Some of us can stick with. Some of us aren't quitters.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Some of us are a bunch of pussies.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How about that?

[TJ Miller]

Jack's like the guy still drinking.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't you hate when a girl will be like, oh, I used to weigh like 100 pounds heavier? And you're just like, yech. I know that you're soft and stretchy now. It's just not an attractive quality for a girl.

[Robbie Goodwin]

See, that's how I know a chick used to be huge if she's hot and into me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right? Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I almost immediately check for stretch marks in the arms because the brain is the one place you never lose fat.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, I sort of stretch marks on my brain. To be honest.

[Zach Amico]

My wife is starting to. Or at least lately. She's like, oh, my God, I weigh so much. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? And she's like, I can't believe it. I'm feeling so. And then I found out, because she got two concussions, because we're very similar. I had brain surgery.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna bring it up a lot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So you bash her head into a wall to make her like you?

[Zach Amico]

I just. I get upset, and she's. Between me and the wall. No, but jokes aside, she's like, oh, my God. Then I found out. I go, how the fuck. Cause she's not. Like, she doesn't. She's very, very healthy. I go, how? Why would you. And I found out some fucking doctor she saw for concussions was like, you know, creatine has really helped. So she was taking creatine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So she's retaining all the water now.

[Zach Amico]

But also not working out. So she's like, building whatever muscle comes. Oh, my God. So she looks. Yeah, yeah. So she got totally crazy about that. But at my. At my heaviest, I weighed 263 on Silicon Valley.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but you're like a boy. How tall are you?

[Zach Amico]

I'm a little girl. A little baby girl.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're.

[Zach Amico]

Come let me sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Christmas. Yeah, I weigh like. Well, I'm 6 foot 3 or 6 2.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And But I. I really realized there's a certain point, and I. I couldn't believe there's a certain weight that you get to where people feel comfortable rubbing your belly. Yeah, I think that's a certain weight, but you're right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But not if you go beyond that. Then they feel bad.

[Zach Amico]

No more. Then they won't touch you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. Yeah. Nobody's rubbing Zach's belly.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, it's pretty. I get. I get a tickle every now and then.

[TJ Miller]

I'm holding myself.

[Zach Amico]

I think that's one of the most disrespectful things in the face of the planet. It's like rubbing the head of a bald man. I think.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Well, that's.

[TJ Miller]

That's funny.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Pretty funny.

[TJ Miller]

Those are funny.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think that's funny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't think it's funny either, sometimes. There it is.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

That's a picture of your dick. So you can see it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I was just texting. I was just texting.

[TJ Miller]

Someday I will see you, my friend.

[Zach Amico]

I'll see you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's a before and after. But I'm way more shredded than that right now. Shannon, show my Instagram from earlier today. What are we talking about, Shannon? That's. That's. I'm still fat in that picture, in my mind.

[Zach Amico]

So you really are body dysmorphia.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I am body dysmorphia. Yeah, for sure. But by the way, I wasn't really friends with you when I watched Silicon Valley. You were so good on that show, dude. Yeah, you were. You were the best part of the show.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I appreciate that. And I've always known you as a guy who has low standards, so to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Me, well, I have terrible, terrible taste.

[Zach Amico]

With your microphone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Is. Okay, we're gonna go around the table.

[TJ Miller]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's me earlier today.

[Zach Amico]

That's great.

[TJ Miller]

That's awesome, man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Well, you know what? And I will say this. I have never. A lot of people call you vain, really just Big J Okerson. But I've never seen you as an individual who's particularly vain. No, I've always seen you. And any humility that you've exhibited or expressed. Very rare. I think is very genuine. I've always seen you as a genuine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, well, when you're. I'm a piece of. And I grew up as a piece of and on welfare and abused and all up. So it's like that by far overtakes the fact that I can lift heavy weights. That's like not. You know, that's. That defines you as a Human.

[Zach Amico]

Bench pressed a girl.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, of course.

[Zach Amico]

So have I.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's my. That's my move for a girl's, like, hey, lay down, babe. Bench press you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I am unable to have intercourse.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sometimes I do. Medicine ball slams with her body. Yeah. Right into the ground.

[Zach Amico]

A lot of stuff that'll sort of trap you into talking about abuse.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Let's go around the table.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shannon, give me another coffee, please.

[Zach Amico]

Please. Who here is afraid of them?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't have to say please when you pay them.

[Zach Amico]

Who here is afraid of dying alone? I'm not gonna make anybody start. But whoever sort of wants to answer. But let's go clockwise from that person.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Hotel room. Yeah. Terrifying.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But you're not gonna be alone. You have a wife.

[Zach Amico]

No. It's tripping.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No, but if I'm on the road.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So you. But how do you define alone?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Actually, you know what's interesting? You went straight for, like, geographically or whatever.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I meant.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think you meant more like without somebody to support you in life.

[Zach Amico]

Because I am married. Okay. But I would say occasionally, and I'm not afraid of anything, but I just am, like, occasionally I think about. I go, yeah, this might kind of all end alone. And that's the only thing that I have felt positive about in my life, is that there was a. There was a chance that if I had kept going at the speed I was going, Kate and I would have gotten divorced, and then I would have died alone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think. And you know what? It almost. It's more of a. It's almost a metaphor, you know, just because you can have somebody else in the room, but are you alone? Are you with that? Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So that. I guess that's more of what I was.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I said, thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Which I. You know what? And I want to thank you for that, Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know, by the way, it did hurt a little bit.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd like to thank TJ for thanking Louis.

[Zach Amico]

This is why you and I are becoming friends rapidly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Are you going to die alone, Robbie? Because you're. You are neurotic. I've heard from women that you're a lunatic. I was speaking to a girl today on the phone, and she's friends with somebody that you dated. I won't say anything.

[Zach Amico]

Is this real?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I swear. I swear in my son's life. I spoke to a girl.

[Zach Amico]

My favorite Zach is this one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's today on the phone. And she was like. And I said, robbie Goodwin, TJ Lunatic.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And she was like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She was like, that's so weird.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, Robbie is he'.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She goes, why? She was like, I, I, I was like, Robbie Goodwin and TJ's on my show today. She was like, oh, that's so funny. She was like, I was just talking to my friend who dated Robbie Goodwin. And then I was like, oh, well, that's crazy. A girl that dates Robbie Goodwin has to be out of her mind as well. And she was like, yeah. She was like. He was specifically. She was specifically saying Robbie's a crazy person.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. I got, I mean, would you describe.

[Zach Amico]

Yourself as a crazy person?

[TJ Miller]

I mean, to a woman too? No, I think I'm fine. I'm not crazy to women or anything.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, not that you hit them, but I'm just saying that you, like, are.

[TJ Miller]

You like, oh, I'm in my head. Yeah. I have neuroses when it comes to, To, Yeah. Dating and women and stuff. For sure. Yeah. That's probably my biggest stumbling block.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Is like, is your own neurosis.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. It's just like, you know, being comfortable around girls and like, I'm gaining it with age, but confidence is like the, the hardest thing.

[Zach Amico]

What's your biggest stumbling block, Zach?

[Louis J. Gomez]

One step. Simply one.

[Zach Amico]

I hate doing this, but Lewis for the three point line. Swish.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, that's really good.

[Zach Amico]

And it's gone.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[TJ Miller]

With Lewis.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Stairs, Curb, airplane.

[Zach Amico]

No, between you and sort of, I think, relationships. It's interesting that you say that. That specifically gets in between you and a relationship.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I think I used to self sabotage, but then I stopped giving a shit.

[Zach Amico]

This has been one of the greatest days of my life.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I just. Yeah, I don't, I have no, I've never had a problem.

[Zach Amico]

This is great.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Who rejects it all?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, Zach's good with. Zach's good with. And good to women. That's the thing, you know. Zach's actually a sweet boy. That's.

[Zach Amico]

What's your biggest stumbling block?

[Louis J. Gomez]

My biggest stumbling block? Well, I used to be a major cheater. I'm not anymore.

[Zach Amico]

Is there a woman up there?

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's up, girl?

[Zach Amico]

She's like, what are you getting out of here?

[TJ Miller]

What you getting into tonight? Nothing. Because you have to stay here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shannon, can I have a coffee with the flavored creamer, please? This one tastes like dog.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, I don't want anything, please.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sorry. You said cream and then I, I was gonna put the other one and I was like, no, maybe he's doing a different thing for the diet.

[Zach Amico]

Owned.

[TJ Miller]

It tastes like Shannon destroys Lewis with facts and logic.

[Zach Amico]

You got Hofstadtered.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, who's a heckler I didn't.

[TJ Miller]

Talk to before the show. Who is a heckler I definitely didn't talk to before?

[Zach Amico]

No more Andrew Schultz and no fam.

[TJ Miller]

Tucker Carlson's a bucket.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, no. Like, my thing, I think right now, because I'm talking to a couple chicks. I'm doing my thing. And I. I was just.

[Zach Amico]

Are you reading a speech? You have a look at his eye. I'm talking to.

[TJ Miller]

I have a dream that white women.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And black women will both suck my penis. Oh, that's good. Now. No, I. Yeah, I. My thing now is like, I feel like I'm too busy for a chick. Cause usually I jump. Right. I just gotta have a relationship. Like, I guess almost a year ago to be. You met that girl? I brought her to. That one. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I really liked her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sweet girl, super cool girl. But that didn't work out. She was disgusting. Fat. No, didn't like magic.

[Zach Amico]

I meant within. She was ugly from within. Jesus Christ.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Only for a few minutes a night.

[Zach Amico]

It is. It is funny, though, because she didn't really like magic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She didn't. She wasn't impressed.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I want to say Lewis is a. I would say a strong B plus, maybe A minus magician.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, for. For actual magicians, I'm like, C minus.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's not true.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Real magicians.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's not true. Because I just worked at Keller's Modern Magic and Comedy Club, which I think you and I should do at some point.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I would love that.

[TJ Miller]

I would go see that show.

[Zach Amico]

Erie, Pennsylvania, Right?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And you'd have to buy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Zach Amico]

I know a lot of magicians you have to buy.

[TJ Miller]

I'll make your $10 disappear.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's gonna be a. It's gonna be a bringer show. You have to also bring some friends.

[TJ Miller]

So I have to bring friends just to watch the show.

[Zach Amico]

You don't get to perform, but you must have five people in the audience.

[TJ Miller]

Sounds like a great opportunity for a young comic like me.

[Zach Amico]

But I. I could see. Because I do think you're a good magician. I really do. And I have a lot of. I'm a magician member at the Magic House.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Zach Amico]

I know a lot of magicians. I thought you were a strong B plus, maybe a minus.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Really? Of course.

[Zach Amico]

You don't know a litany of tricks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But I could see as you're doing these, in my opinion, very impressive tricks. Yeah, very impressive.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. He does retard.

[Zach Amico]

She kind of was controlling an eye roll. Yeah, she kind of was sort of like. Does he have to do this in front of everybody. You can't have that. That's like a girl being like, really? You need to do another set. You're gonna go do comedy again. You did it last night. And you're like, what? And they're like. And the night before. And I'm like, God damn it, woman. You pay for this apartment.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shut up, Mom. She. She wanted the attention. It wasn't even so much about the magic. It was more like I was doing things for other people. I could be buying her things. I could be taking her to Vegas. That's over. Yeah, but that's been over for almost a year.

[Zach Amico]

Talking about this because I know the type of guy you are on podcasts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Of course.

[Zach Amico]

She was she good at intercourse?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. Really? That was. I mean, yeah, she was a professional dancer. She was wild in bed. She was so that's.

[Zach Amico]

She. I don't know, but she struck me as a girl who doesn't. You get a certain level of hot, right? Yeah, it's not the hottest girl of all time, but it is hot. But it's not barely hot. And they just don't feel like they need to do anything.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no.

[Zach Amico]

She was kind of like, you're lucky to even be in the same room as me.

[TJ Miller]

Right? They act like B list celebrities.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, she was a. Not all you. Not all of them are bad.

[TJ Miller]

Not all of them are bad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, she was great in bed. That was like. She was a professional dancer. Really? And she was also into, like. That's probably what kept me in for so long, was like, our sex life was great. And that's been. That's a big deal for me if you're in a fucking relationship and you're not banging all the time and enjoying that part of it. Yeah, it's kind of a deal. Maybe four years. I. I actually, I was. I was talking to the other night and she was like, how many relationships have you had? I was like, what would he consider a relationship? She was like, you say you love each other and you've had sex, and there's been like.

[Zach Amico]

You're like, I've had a lot of first dates.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've. I've.

[Zach Amico]

Zach.

[Robbie Goodwin]

But technically you've dated a bunch of hookers.

[Zach Amico]

Then you've always said, I love you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I do get very lovey. I talk about this in my act. I get very lovey dovey with hookers.

[TJ Miller]

Pretty woman walking down the street with a hooker. What's that?

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever been with a hooker?

[TJ Miller]

I have not now, Zach.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Of course.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, well, now I feel bad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Have you not been with a hooker?

[Zach Amico]

I've never. I. I invited a woman.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's a yes. And he's trying to think of how to present.

[Zach Amico]

No, but I. I invited a woman.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I invited a woman to suck my penis for money.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she made me take a shower.

[Zach Amico]

Before, but from Craigslist.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow. Back in the day.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Does that counter casual encounter?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you pay her? No.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What did you pay her?

[Zach Amico]

She paid me.

[TJ Miller]

Hey, look at that. Hey, hey, hey. That's the sign for I hooked up with somebody.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It looked like he was gonna go bump knuckles with you.

[Robbie Goodwin]

He took her out for ice cream.

[Zach Amico]

And I put it on her dick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. I used to have a genuine straight up sex addiction for a while. I would believe that, but that was way back there. It's a David joke.

[TJ Miller]

David, those titties ain't retarded.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, why?

[Zach Amico]

You know what? I think he's got so many fucking funny jokes. I think it's really silly that that's the one everyone quotes because he's not that comic. But it's so fucking funny.

[TJ Miller]

What's the funniest phrase anyone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, it was also really early in that special. It was like maybe the. Maybe in the first 10 minutes of that special is a very memorable bit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think road work. Have you guys seen road work?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And the fucking joke about the blow jobs and leaning on a broom at the blowjob factory. I think, to me, I think that's one of the funniest jokes of all time. And I think it's his funniest joke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is he the. Is he the funniest living comedian? Who's your favorite living comedian?

[Zach Amico]

Norm MacDonald. Died so dead. I think. I think David. David tells the funniest. Right. He would be the strong, like the most hardcore killer, but favorite. I don't know. I need a beat. What do you guys think that's good?

[TJ Miller]

I mean, it's a good question.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think Louie's maybe the best. It tells, like, my speed.

[TJ Miller]

I'd say Shane's up there, but now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That I started watching, that's really gay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but holy Shane isn't.

[TJ Miller]

I mean, I meant to say my favorite is T.J. miller, actually.

[Zach Amico]

Well, then you have bad, bad taste in comedy, I think. I really do think. Yeah, I think you're right. It's Louie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Louie's incredible. And I wasn't like. Whatever it was. I always like to be like the cool guy and not into what everyone's into. So I never really watch all of Louie's Old specials.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I just started watching recently. God damn it. Every special is just incredible. And he's got such a large body of work, and that's the issue with the tell. Compared to Louis doesn't have as many specials out.

[Zach Amico]

He's so critical.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's a perfectionist. He does special every five years, and he's, like, super critical. Like, he'll get off stage and he's like, oh, I suck. I bought you. Like, dude, that was the greatest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Zach Amico]

I think. I think Chappelle. And I would tell Chappelle this. I think he. Lou's better and more consistent, probably. But when Chappelle wants to just be funny and not be, like, you know.

[TJ Miller]

Sitting down on a stool, then.

[Zach Amico]

Then I think it's really, really hard to beat him. But I. What I think is interesting about him, and I told him this. I think. I don't know. I would.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He can do it. You can do a Chappelle, right? Thank you, T.J. miller.

[TJ Miller]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's really good. You did a great Pete Holmes just now.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, thanks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Hey, dj. Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

There it is. I. I think Chappelle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Robbie usually does good impressions. I thought it was gonna set him up to do a great one there. And that was.

[TJ Miller]

I live in a garbage can. That's what Mike Figgs said. Remember when he called in?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that is.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That was also bad.

[TJ Miller]

That was awful.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[TJ Miller]

I mean, that's the funniest thing that his go to Chappelle line is, I.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Live in a garbage can.

[TJ Miller]

I was like, mike, where did you get that from?

[Louis J. Gomez]

The.

[TJ Miller]

Chappelle's never said that, has he?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, he's got it. He's got a grouch.

[TJ Miller]

That's right. Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

He's like, still, I live in a trash came.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, great. I just showed my son that special. My son's 12 now. You met James? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He loves you, dude. He's so excited to meet TJ because he's such a big fucking Deadpool fan.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Side of this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He having you as a father, I think you can get to the other side of that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What do you mean?

[Zach Amico]

I think he's got a great future ahead of him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Regardless.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, no. Yeah, right. Wait, are you saying. Are you saying I'm a bad father? No. What are you saying, tj?

[Zach Amico]

I'm saying I'm here. What the are you saying, amico?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't judge my father, okay? No, he. No, he's a big Comedy fan now. So I've been showing him Louis. He loves Gaffigan, and I was gonna bring up Gaff.

[TJ Miller]

He's good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's incredible.

[Zach Amico]

But I think that, like, Louis just, it's. He's the perfect intersection between fucking hysterical and then also sort of a social satirist.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I think the thing about Chappelle is, like, what I said was, I'm like, I don't think. I think America's confused as to whether they want you to be a king or a jester. I think that would be a very difficult position to be in. And he agreed. He was like, yeah, I didn't think about it that way.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But when you're putting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He just takes himself a little too seriously.

[Zach Amico]

But. But America wants him to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But Louis also, for a while, started to love the smell of his own shit, too, and then he got canceled, and now he's like. He's back to just being absolutely hilarious.

[TJ Miller]

No life lessons.

[Zach Amico]

I think he got to a place where he could do no wrong.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that's when you start to sort of get to that point. But, like, how can you not? I mean, Jesus Christ. Like, Louis, the show is fucking. The show is flawless, dudes.

[TJ Miller]

I was rewatching the David lynch episodes.

[Zach Amico]

It's fucking flawless.

[TJ Miller]

So good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's.

[Zach Amico]

No, he started watching Eraserhead. Have you seen that?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm making Kate watch that tonight.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that why you had your hair like that?

[Zach Amico]

I really like that. I think it's a good joke. I thought it was really observational, and I think you're headed to becoming a great father.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm almost there.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh. All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Mando, the exclusive sponsor for today's show. We love Mando. It's total body deodorant. Not just for your armpits anymore, Zach, but everywhere. You can smell. And trust me, if you're a fan of this show, you. We know you smell. Yep.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Mando is safe for use anywhere on your body. And I'm going to go over some of these spots. Pits, balls, thigh folds, belly buttons, butt cracks. And feet. Yes, you heard that right. Your feet, they have the solid stick deodorant, the aluminum free spray deodorant. Perfect for hard to reach areas. I know all about that. Or any other product in their line. Mando's always got you covered.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And their clinically proven control odor for up to 72 hours. 12 hours after a shower, you start to stink again. Well, guess what? Mando's got you literally and figuratively covered. Just genuinely a great company. Great products. I really want to talk about their starter pack, which includes a solid stick deodorant, their cream tube deodorant, and two products of your choice, like the mini body wash or the deodorant wipes, which we both love. I bring the deodorant wipes everywhere I go.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I bring them on the road with me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Great.

[Robbie Goodwin]

If you've been in the car for a while, right when you get off the plane, Boom.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Love it. Very cool. All you got to do is go to shopmando.com free shipping on every order. If you use the promo code LAZ. Save 5 bucks on the starter pack. Get started Today with Mando. Shopmando.com is a website. Use that promo code LAZ at checkout. Go there now. Smell better. All right, where were we?

[TJ Miller]

You know who I saw live and I really liked? Sebastian.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I saw him live in Vegas, and it was actually incredible. Awesome. Yeah, it was like, this guy, he, like Corey. He choreographs, like, if you watch, you'll see him do a bit, and he. You can tell him when he did. Does the new bits, he didn't have, like, the pivot down water, like. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He did one in my life.

[TJ Miller]

Aren't you embarrassed?

[Zach Amico]

Hilarious. The guy that blew my mind is Carrot Top.

[TJ Miller]

Oh. I heard he's good in Vegas.

[Zach Amico]

Vegas. And it blew my goddamn mind. I'm like, this is. Welcome to Hollywood. This is great. So afraid you're gonna die alone?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Hotel rooms. That's a big deal.

[Zach Amico]

You're still gone. What about you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think I'm gonna end up probably just settling for somebody eventually, but I have a very high standard.

[Zach Amico]

Interesting. Why?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know what it is? It's like every time I'm dating somebody, it is really. I've really come to this conclusion recently through therapy. It's me. I'm too busy. I'm too crazy. I have so much going on. And if they're not a part of, like, a part of the Louis J. Gomez world and moving the ball down the court. Business.

[Zach Amico]

Show.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Well, no, it's a world.

[TJ Miller]

The sphere.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's more than a show, but I'm saying it's a universe.

[TJ Miller]

It's the extended universe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes. The LCU Barnum.

[Zach Amico]

Like, this is the show.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. But. But if they're not part of. If, like, if I'm not dating somebody that, like, really fits into what I'm doing, then I sort of look for an excuse as to why it's not working out. So the first thing that goes wrong, I'm like, ah. And I don't want to waste her time. I'm always dating girls, like, in their, like, late 20s, early 30s. I feel like that's when they want to start having a baby.

[TJ Miller]

Right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And it's like, I feel like I'm not going to spend. And I've been in relationships for years that weren't worth being in. And then it's like, well, I'm going to spend three, four years in a relationship that's toxic and weird and not perfect. So I end up breaking up with them after six months to a year for something very minor.

[Zach Amico]

Interesting. Usually it's two years. What about you? Die alone.

[TJ Miller]

I am a little worried about that. Yeah. Because my dad's, like, kind of a loner like that, and I'm like, damn, I'm going to. Is that going to. But my mom is the opposite, so I don't know. It could go either way.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Have any of you ever been having sex and stopped before you ejaculated?

[TJ Miller]

Yes. All the time.

[Zach Amico]

I was. No, that's not what I thought.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, I won't. I refuse. No matter how much it hurts her, I will keep going.

[Zach Amico]

It's really, really going to jail. What about you?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Back when I used to do drugs like Xanax, and. Yeah, I couldn't. But I couldn't bust another.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. When I was on coke, I had a hard time busting a nut. I would just keep going and. Fucking drugs.

[Zach Amico]

I just do it. Oh, natural.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Really. You.

[Robbie Goodwin]

You'll.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So you'll stop in the middle of it?

[Zach Amico]

Well, I. I. Recently, an hour and a half ago, I've. I sort of. If she's not gonna ejaculate, then I think. Honestly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ejaculating on her end.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. Because it's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, she's squirting.

[Zach Amico]

Don't skirt it. If you don't squirt, it don't hurt.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right. Does your. I don't want to be rude.

[Zach Amico]

Then don't, Louis. So about half. I think if the woman doesn't ejaculate, then I think it's. I'm not joking. I think it's gentlemanly to not ejaculate, to not finish. I think it's a real. I've done it rarely, but I think it's a really funny thing to be like, you know, if the girl's like, I just don't think it's gonna happen. You go, well, it's not gonna happen on this end.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, that's very romantic.

[Zach Amico]

You pull out, you call a hooker, and you get fucked.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You kiss her on the mouth and you tell her you love her.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever had sex without kissing?

[TJ Miller]

I don't think so.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[TJ Miller]

That sounds crazy. I mean, why? Like, why didn't you kiss?

[Zach Amico]

Because she's a God damn.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, there you go.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm just kidding. But that is okay. Ever sex without kissing?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Without a shadow of a doubt? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Sex without kissing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I'm a big kisser. I like it. That's how I know if a girl's good in bed. Even a hook girl kiss right in her mouth. Right in her mouth.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's so fun.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They want to be kissed.

[TJ Miller]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Of course.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They want to be loved. Nobody loves. Nobody's ever kissed them. They're like, what? They're surprised.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're like, What? Okay, that 10 extra, that's literally my bit. Edit that out so they don't.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to do that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't want to spend that gold.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I apologize.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I want to try. I'm kidding.

[Zach Amico]

I know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's fine. Yeah, no, I. Yeah, I. Yeah. Dude, I can't say. That's how you know if a girl's good in bed. If she kisses good. If she doesn't kiss good, you could tell it's gonna be a. I think.

[Zach Amico]

The dancer's a good point. And they don't have to be like a professional dancer. I think if you see a girl who dances well, then you're probably looking at an individual who is good at intercourse.

[TJ Miller]

They're in tune with their body. They're mindful of their body.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm not a good dancer at all, but I'm probably not very good in bed. No, I'm a terrible dance dancer, Zach.

[Zach Amico]

You're a good dancer, Zach. Are you?

[Robbie Goodwin]

I'm light on my feet.

[TJ Miller]

What's that? No, I'm not real. I'm not a good. I mean, I could take lessons maybe, but I don't have the innate ability to.

[Zach Amico]

So let's say this. If you can get out of your head, do you think you'd be a good dancer?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, probably. But that's the skill, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's see. Robbie, can we get some. Some salsa music on right now?

[Zach Amico]

Don't make.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's the best type of dancing you can do?

[TJ Miller]

I can do, like. That was a quick cut to a rap song. I can, like, do the one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, let's see, let's see. Put on some hip hop and let's see. Let's see everyone's moves. Great polka. Is that what your best moves are?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. My wife's Polish.

[TJ Miller]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You'd see her sausage.

[TJ Miller]

She big pierogi head.

[Zach Amico]

That's what I.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

I call her in bed.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. Give me some pierogi head, baby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, Robbie, let's see your moves. I mean, it's not even to the music, but there's no beat to this.

[TJ Miller]

Where's the beat? It's like the pre.

[Zach Amico]

About to drop. Drop. No, it's not.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There really isn't a beat.

[Zach Amico]

Do you hear me? Like, it's about to drop.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nothing.

[TJ Miller]

This is the part where you're like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Are you just doing unlicensed music, Shannon, so we can play it? Yes, I am.

[Zach Amico]

I like her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A. Unless his music stinks.

[Zach Amico]

I think this is great.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Robbie. This why girls think you're crazy. This is.

[Zach Amico]

Yo. That's why this dude can fuck.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[TJ Miller]

That's why I stay off the dance.

[Zach Amico]

I bet you don't even try before. Are you ever self conscious during intercourse?

[TJ Miller]

All the time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All the time.

[TJ Miller]

That's my biggest problem, I think. Yeah, for sure.

[Zach Amico]

So while you're having intercourse, you'll say to yourself, how's this going? Or do you get into it?

[TJ Miller]

I. Once. I'm. Once I'm doing it. I'm. I'm fine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Do you like. Do you fucking, like, smack her ass and bite your lip and fucking choke her a little bit?

[Zach Amico]

What's with the biting your lips?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You got it.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. You've got abuse on the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When I dance. When I dance. And when I fuck, I bite my bottom lip.

[Zach Amico]

Country. Are you having Interact Course. You're like, yeah, that looks.

[TJ Miller]

That is actually.

[Zach Amico]

That's weird.

[TJ Miller]

That's a thing. Actually, girls do that. They bite their lip when they're horny sometimes.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So now when you're having sex, you stop being sort of.

[TJ Miller]

Once it's finally. But like, sometimes when I'm in the foreplay part, which I do like, but I'm like, is she enjoying herself?

[Zach Amico]

But so the actual. The vaginal, penile, then you can kind of lose yourself. And then do you feel like when you ejaculate, that's one of the few times that you're just completely nodding your head?

[TJ Miller]

It's the closest I ever come to heaven. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty great. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then what about. Do you drink a lot?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And do you think that's to kind of get yourself out of your head 100%?

[TJ Miller]

Where do you Ejaculate weed now and then. Not.

[Zach Amico]

Cause it can get you paranoid.

[TJ Miller]

Yes, exactly.

[Zach Amico]

It's dangerous.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Robbie, where do you ejaculate when you pull out?

[TJ Miller]

Oh, when I pull out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's your move?

[TJ Miller]

Usually on the, like, belly or back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

On the belly or back. You're nothing.

[Zach Amico]

Crazy girl.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You don't grab her by her hair and shoot it right in her face.

[TJ Miller]

I don't shoot it in her face.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't either. Unless a girl asks. And then I'm like, I can never love you, but I like doing it. When she says I want to do that, I'm like, all right, I'm way in now.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But if a girl wants me to come on her face, I'm like, this is never going to go anywhere.

[Zach Amico]

I just. I.

[TJ Miller]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Coming on a girl's face has been. Maybe it's the age range that I've had intercourse with, but it just. I've only really met one girl who was just like, she wanted it. Choke me with your dick, all that kind of stuff. And she was so much younger.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think, you know, you miss that route, but then might be born brain. Well, I think also it's, you know, I don't know. Once my buddy, Cash Levy, I have a podcast with this guy, Cash Levy, and oh, my God, he's got such a great joke where he's like, coming on someone's face. It's just not natural. He's like, no other animal does that. There are no chicken facials. And I think it's such a funny idea. And it's great, by the way. Great punchline.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dogs will. Dogs will come on anything. A dog will hump and just start shooting ropes. I remember my dog, Sport. He would hump the air. He wasn't fixed. It would hump the air. And it was hilarious. We're like, this is so funny. And then he would start shooting ropes all over the floor and, like, run around the house. He's trying to jump on you.

[TJ Miller]

Wow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it was hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think shooting ropes is ever gonna catch fire.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shooting ropes.

[TJ Miller]

I think people say that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A lot of people say it, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Bummer. It's like, lit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It is.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's not happening. And it doesn't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's all of these. These new words. I don't know what anything means. I was hanging out with a younger chick recently, and she, like, the terms they use on the Internet are crazy.

[TJ Miller]

Skibidi.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, that's like children. That's children.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Robbie, you Know what I do like is vibe. Check.

[TJ Miller]

That's a good one.

[Zach Amico]

What was the other one?

[Louis J. Gomez]

A lot of young girls. Yeah. Coded and Vibe. I didn't know what coded was.

[TJ Miller]

It's like coded is like, oh, he's very. If someone. If I met someone that was like, TJ Miller, I'd say, oh, he's very TJ Miller. Coded like you. It means it's, oh, you're like this.

[Zach Amico]

I like NPC and then main character energy. I think those are.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. These Are all. Are all things that this young girl says. If it's just. If they're on the Internet and they. They talk about on the Internet like.

[TJ Miller]

It'S tick tock brain.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm just not that guy.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not.

[TJ Miller]

Well, you shouldn't try to be.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Now we're supposed to call ends P's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Of C. Oh, I get it.

[TJ Miller]

Nice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was a good.

[TJ Miller]

That was good. Very good.

[Zach Amico]

This is why I'm here for you, Zacho.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can we. Can we real quick, can we talk.

[Zach Amico]

About what's the last thing you guys do before you leave your residence?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Come on. A girl's face.

[Zach Amico]

Perfect.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every day.

[TJ Miller]

That's why I watch my dog say.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Goodbye to the cat.

[Zach Amico]

You do?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yep.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Every day.

[Zach Amico]

How many cats?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, just one. Gus.

[Zach Amico]

Gus. You say goodbye?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, I say goodbye to him every day.

[Zach Amico]

What about you?

[TJ Miller]

Check if I have my wallet, my. And my phone and my keys.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Last thing I do, really, before I leave the house. Every day.

[Zach Amico]

I've got mine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What is it?

[Zach Amico]

I let Louis J. Gomez come on my face.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hey. Yeah, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, is this fun?

[TJ Miller]

This is fun. I'm having a blast.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Blast on his face.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. There we go.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can we talk about Elon Highlink during the fucking inauguration? What? Can I just say, like, best case scenario is Elon's a. Yeah, I mean, I think best case scenario, like, you don't know that. How that's going to be perceived to everybody during the inauguration day, and it's gonna make everyone freak out on the Internet and have a bunch of people be divided immediately.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Best case scenario, it's not a good look.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's not a great look. He wasn't waving. He went. He went. And then he went to the other side. Dude, show the video, Shannon. It's bonkers.

[Zach Amico]

Are you serious?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you see this?

[Zach Amico]

No, I saw some online. It's like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I'm like, you thought they caught him waving? Which is.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I thought it was a joke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's what they did with, like, they have Hillary. Everyone's responding to it with like Hillary and Kamala doing that.

[TJ Miller]

Right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But they're literally. They caught them in the middle of a wave.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, he does the wind up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he like straight up high.

[Zach Amico]

Let me see.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And if he's being funny, fine. I like funny. I just don't know that that's the place to be that type of funny.

[TJ Miller]

No, I would say that that's a joke.

[Zach Amico]

If he's for reals doing it, he is not being funny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. Well, I think he was saying it's a Roman salute or somebody else, but.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think he said, sure it is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think other people said that.

[Zach Amico]

A real Roman salute.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Get some volume.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah, they invented it. When Jews are roaming all over Europe.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, it's a Roman. It's more of a Roman solution.

[Zach Amico]

Three point line.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God. Let's see it.

[Zach Amico]

This one really mattered.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I just want to say thank you for making it happen. Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Robbie Goodwin]

All right. I have theories. I think he was trying to say from the bottom of my heart.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, you guys, you said that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

But he's so retarded. I think he's so autistic. I think he's stimming.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And he's been trying to not do that in public this whole time.

[Zach Amico]

I think he said from the bottom. You're saying that.

[TJ Miller]

I would say if he did that. I agree with you. And I think it's also he's on like, a lot of ketamine. So I think it's like a rigid ketamine.

[Zach Amico]

I, I, I think that there's this weird moment that's happening right now. We're basically. And like, in my household, there's just been a lot of talk about this. And a lot of times Kate's like, we gotta cut this off. I don't wanna talk anymore. I think there's a really weird moment that's happening where, like, white guys are like, I'm sorry, what did you think was gonna happen? Yeah, I don't quite. I think this is confusing to us. You thought that what was gonna happen? And then now guys like Elon Musk are like, this is what it is. And it's like. And my feeling is like, yeah, it does. Even if that's the point. You don't have to do that. Just have to. We don't need that.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Mike, you've been here before.

[TJ Miller]

If you just turned his palm up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Read the room, Elon, from my heart to yours. What's the problem is, I think the room loved it. I think everyone in that room was like, yeah, 100%. I wonder if anybody fucking hile back.

[Zach Amico]

So the other thing is. Heil back. Heil back. Hollaback.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Ain't no Heil back, girl.

[Zach Amico]

You know, a joke is great. When everybody leans back, the crowd's excited.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The crowd is very excited.

[Zach Amico]

I. I got it. Yeah. I know why I can't get away.

[Robbie Goodwin]

From my other theory.

[TJ Miller]

I think me and Zach did the same part of a musical parody at.

[Zach Amico]

The same time, and both are vaguely racing. No, sorry. Anti Semitic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I also think maybe he was trying to dab and got it completely in reverse.

[TJ Miller]

Ah, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, here's what I think. I think that he's just so. I don't think he was trying to fucking Heil him smart enough.

[Zach Amico]

I think he's smart.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think he's smart enough to. Because he should know the difference.

[Zach Amico]

I think he bought Twitter to be like. Because also, what's weird. Where is he from?

[TJ Miller]

South.

[Louis J. Gomez]

South Africa, which is super, like, racist.

[Zach Amico]

South Africa's apartheid country.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think there's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's a rich white guy from South Africa. His family had some opinions.

[Zach Amico]

I think he sort of is like, yeah, that's. This is not what's happening. We're not going to let immigrants vote and shit like that. I really think. I think Donald Trump is too stupid to know how he's sort of being used. But I'm just. It blows my fucking mind. And, yeah, there's a lot of shit like this, but, like, okay, so I'm a bitcoiner. I'm like a big, like, bitcoin and cryptocurrency.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It went down to $89,000 last week. And I almost fucking. I was.

[Zach Amico]

I was buy it.

[TJ Miller]

Now I'm holding it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, no. It's like 100.

[Zach Amico]

Doesn't matter. Buy right now. It's gonna be a million dollars.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you think it's gonna be a million?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Stop.

[TJ Miller]

That's time to buy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's gonna be a million. Wait till it goes back to 95. I'll buy some more. I'm sure it was at 89. 89 a week.

[Zach Amico]

I got news for you. It's not going back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I bet you.

[Zach Amico]

I'll bet you 100,000.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A hundred thousand dollars it won't hit 90 again.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wait a second. You didn't even get me. I had to steal this from your fridge.

[Louis J. Gomez]

First of all, I paid you $65. You didn't even bring me my fucking soup. You didn't bring my soup.

[Zach Amico]

Why would you bring it up in front of him?

[TJ Miller]

Did you really not bring him the soup?

[Zach Amico]

It's so upsetting that you. You stop talking. You get so in your head about it. I'm saying that he said he's gonna.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bring me split the soup. I was so excited.

[Zach Amico]

Tj they didn't. They were out of it. They only had a whole piece of soup. I'm serious. So I. I'm a bitcoiner, so I'm.

[TJ Miller]

Going to my room.

[Zach Amico]

Bitcoin community. And New Year's Eve, I went to Michael Saylor's bitcoin party. My thing is Trump just being like, I'm going to put together a bitcoin strategic reserve. Flips. I think once he saw how easy it was to flip smaller demographics to go into his world, he got really smart, and he was like, yeah, I'll go on Joe Rogan. Yeah, I'll do this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that's how he won. And I feel like it's really hard for me because I see all these bitcoiners be like, well, he's the worst guy in the world, but I. I bet money that he would win. I won money because I called the last three elections. Last two, and now the last three. And I talked to this guy who's this. Like, this, like, is a Muslim guy in. I mean, he might have been Ohio. And he was like, it was Chappelle. Well, I'm hoping it was Dave Chappelle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I live in a fucking trash can.

[Zach Amico]

I live in a garbage can.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I smell like a fucking trash can. Praise Allah.

[Zach Amico]

But I think everybody was like, yeah, if I can make more money, if Trump can make it a better economy, then I'll vote for him, even if he's a piece of shit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, that's kind of what I thought. Like, with him coming in this time, it was like. It seems everyone's calming down a little bit. All right. It's not so divisive.

[TJ Miller]

I thought so.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then at the fucking inauguration, I'm like, dude, literally, just tap it in. All you gotta do is not. Heil Hitler during the inauguration.

[TJ Miller]

So happy to not see, like, paragraphs of Facebook status.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nazi. Fuck yeah, dude.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you know what the saddest thing, Louis?

[TJ Miller]

When you're right, you're right.

[Zach Amico]

But I like it.

[TJ Miller]

You write it.

[Zach Amico]

Why does the gun never go off? You just keep.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, that's if it's. That's if one's in the chamber.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, got it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sometimes they're gonna go off.

[Zach Amico]

I feel.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There it is how you feel.

[Zach Amico]

To me, it's. It's gonna get bad because he's like so even keeled now, sort of. But the saddest thing that I have seen in a long time was I watched the CNN pre, like coverage pre inauguration. And they go, we've got some anti Trump protesters out here. There's of course a group. Not a large group. It's a group. Well, it's. It's these two. Let's go talk to three people. And it was two people.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's crazy. Last time it was like the world was ending. Everybody. But I think everyone wanted to just like, believe that it was going to be like normal. Like.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, it's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, I'm giving Elon the benefit of the doubt and saying that he's so autistic.

[Zach Amico]

There's no way that he definitely did that as like a quiet. It's. And to him, I'm sure it's quiet.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I couldn't get any louder.

[Zach Amico]

I think it was funny.

[TJ Miller]

I could see him doing like a four chan bit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like.

[TJ Miller]

Like, isn't this funny that I'm saying my heart to yours, but I'm doing a Nazis. Like, that's a 4chan ass kind of joke.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's pretty troll, which I don't look.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I.

[Zach Amico]

Because he.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, I like the joke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I like great joke. It's a solid bit.

[Zach Amico]

I do a solid, solid racist.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm hiring all the time. I hile. But, you know, I'm a dumb comedian.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, go do it at wise guys. Not the inauguration of the next president.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I wouldn't even do it at wise guys. I'd only do it at a beach club.

[TJ Miller]

Right. Do it.

[Zach Amico]

That was the perfect reference. Doing it wise.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So what else happened at this inauguration? Billy. Billy Ray Cyrus performed. It was bad. I didn't see this yet.

[TJ Miller]

I saw Nelly perform. That was crazy.

[Zach Amico]

That chick did.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Was he like Rob Zombie now?

[Zach Amico]

What was her name? Carrie Mulligan or it's definitely not.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He sucks now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Still better than Miley Cyrus.

[TJ Miller]

I disagree. I like Miley more.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You like Miley?

[TJ Miller]

I do.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Like, Miley can sing, baby.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. I think she's really talented.

[Zach Amico]

Miley's gonna look like that in 30 years.

[TJ Miller]

She already sounds like that. Kind of.

[Zach Amico]

I can't believe that he just straight up. Heil Hitler. Because I hadn't seen it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's wild.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No, no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When I saw it, I literally thought it was AI.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because you see everything now. You're like, that must be AI. And then I just googled it and it was everywhere. I was like, that is bonkers.

[TJ Miller]

Well, let me see the full clip. This has to be out of context.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There has to be something. He's like, don't do this, folks.

[Zach Amico]

So I had two.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I'm at the ymca so they could do it twice.

[TJ Miller]

You know what's hilarious about the ymca? Because he brought out the Village People, and they. Everyone's doing the ymca, but he still does his dance. Like, he doesn't do the YMCA with him.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No, he does. He's jerking off the dick.

[TJ Miller]

He's like, even the dance that every. It's like, he still is like, I'm gonna keep doing my thing.

[Zach Amico]

What a strange thing. So I told Kid. I said, look, this. We live in a democracy. In a democracy, the majority wins. This is what the majority of people want. So don't. And I, like. I bet a bunch of money on him, and I won $1,666. I took the 666, gave it to Kid. I said, do whatever you need to feel better about this, because she was.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She was pumping creatine into her face.

[Zach Amico]

And I can't get enough of that. And then I said, take this thousand dollars and then use it as a politically actionable weapon. Put this towards female reproductive rights. Put it towards whatever. I also put a bet on myself. I got it, too.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then I said, there's two abortions.

[Zach Amico]

T.J. like, if you see my wife, it's one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right. Hey.

[Zach Amico]

And. All right, okay. Yum, yum, yum.

[TJ Miller]

I took my wife to the abortion clinic. They said, oh, you want the two for one special?

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, okay.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sad about it, but I said.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Take this out my wife to the abortion clinic. They said, you're a few years too late.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sad about it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can we real quick? Let's do plugs.

[Zach Amico]

We're rolling here 48 minutes, and we only did $660. I say, do what you need. I said, these thousand dollars. Put it towards whatever you think. Okay? And then, like, a couple days ago, she was like, I don't know what to do. What do we do? I said, well, what did you put the thousand dollars towards? I used that and the $666 to go to this spa thing. I was like, you. Fuck you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's the most white woman thing that people do. Hey, here's your money for the spot. Here's your money.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She's like, I'm going. I'm going to two yoga classes a day now. Oh, my God, Shannon, let's do some plugs. Let's get him out of the way.

[Zach Amico]

We have a lot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

About a half an hour left on the show. Great. T.J. miller's here. Robbie Goodwin's here. What a show, folks. This is a new era for the Lewis and Zach show.

[Zach Amico]

I'm here for Zack Amico.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Robbie, what are you plugging, my friend?

[TJ Miller]

Crowder Boys. Every Wednesday at 7pm me, Dalton Pruitt and Crack Amico do a live stream. I also am doing streams on the what About Rob channel. We just did a great day David lynch retrospective and I think we're gonna do a live Crowder Boys in Chicago in May. So stay tuned for that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Very cool. Very cool. Love Crack Amico. Love Dalton. Great, great guys. Great.

[TJ Miller]

And they love you, Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Of course. Yeah. The. The intro to this song, a Crack Amico original. We don't around here. Oh, yeah. T.J. what are you plugging, my friend?

[Zach Amico]

What is. What's the necklace?

[TJ Miller]

Oh, they're beads.

[Zach Amico]

I know. But like, what any significance? Just looks cool.

[TJ Miller]

I think they're fun.

[Zach Amico]

It does look cool. T.J. miller, attorney at Law if you've been injured in an accident, in maybe not an accident. If you've injured someone else. TJ Miller does not have a website dot com. I'm teenage millionaire on Jim Gaffigan's website, Instagram, and then not TJ Miller on what used to be TikTok but is now TikTok. And I'm on Facebook. I think my parents are Kent and Leslie Miller. They live in Denver, Colorado, near Cheeseman Park. And I think the most important thing is I'm here for Zak Amico. I think. Give me your name one more time, Louis. Luis J. Gomez is a strong, a minus magician. Fast friendship hopefully happening over here.

[TJ Miller]

Absolutely.

[Zach Amico]

And let's just go ahead and.

[Louis J. Gomez]

From.

[Zach Amico]

My heart to yours, I'm here for Zach, baby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Zach.

[Zach Amico]

What are you playing my friend now?

[Robbie Goodwin]

February 14th and 15th, I'll be in Worcester, Massachusetts with the Insane Clown Posse doing commentary for Juggalo Championship Wrestling. Come on out. Should be a really fun weekend.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Live dates coming up. Come see me on tour. The Bring 5 Friends tour. Coming to a city near you this weekend. Wits End Comedy Lounge, North Charleston, South Carolina. Those tickets are almost sold out for both shows, so get them early. Don't wait to get them at the door.

[Zach Amico]

Look, it's great. They have great food.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Never been there. I hear it's incredible.

[Zach Amico]

So fun.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This weekend. Off the hook Comedy Club, Naples, Florida.

[Zach Amico]

Great too.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Rumors. Another great club. February 6th and 7th. It's a week after Dan Soder his face. So make sure you get taken.

[Zach Amico]

Smash his face. Who smashed a bucket? The guy Tyler from Rumors.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

It's a disaster.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, anyway, come see me at Rumors in Winnipeg, Salt Lake City at the end of February.

[Zach Amico]

Lots more days you could do that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wise guys.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Wise guys.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. You should do your new bit where you. Heil Hitler there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Come see me on the road, folks. Yeah. It's a brand new hour. I'm working on a special that I'm going to be filming in July. I feel incredible. It's the best I've ever done. Really? That. By far. If you're not getting better every year, everyone should be better. If it's worse. That's kind of a problem.

[Zach Amico]

Shot anything or done like a set or something like that was worse than I used to be.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, I have. Yeah, for sure, Zach.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Especially if I took a long time off.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you don't have a special yet, so it's like you're still sort of working on, you know, that first one. So that's fine. That's all above board. But this is my third special. If it was worse than my second special or first special, it'd be an actual problem. But come see me live. Bobby Kelly's directing Side Splitters Tampa.

[Zach Amico]

Is that true?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's so fun. You're doing it at Side Splitters.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Doing it at Side Splitters Tampa.

[Zach Amico]

Tampa, too. It's a great. They're nuts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Best, Best comedy town, maybe in the country.

[TJ Miller]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Come get those tickets. The. The VIP pass are already sold out. Get them early. Once again, we're six months away from filming. It's in July. But get those tickets early because it's gonna be blast. Zacho going to be featuring for me the whole weekend. Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm gonna go because of that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You should come just for Zach.

[TJ Miller]

You leave right after Zach.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And also, if you guys want to come to Skankfest, Skank Fest New Orleans is happening November 14th or 16th in New Orleans. Make sure you get those tickets. We're doing a Pre sale on January 29th.

[Zach Amico]

Exciting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

1Pm Eastern. Get those pre sale tickets. It includes a kickoff party. It's cheaper than buying the regular VIP pass. You get an extra night of events and it's cheaper. So get them Pre sale on January 29, 1pm Eastern, and get them fast because the buzz is real this year. Check out all my other podcasts, Legion of Skanks, the Rest, and Story Wars. And if you want.

[Zach Amico]

Story wars is great.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thank you. Gotta come back on Baby Boy. And then I do a bonus podcast just from subscribers to my email list. Louisofscanks.com the Lewis Journal Podcast. Just me by myself, talking shit about life. Every Friday morning at 6am it comes out. Wow. Start your weekend off right.

[Zach Amico]

That's amazing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thank you. Thank you, Shannon. Let's see. Let's do it.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, throw it over here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's do a Toit or Noit. UK's smallest glamour model, 3 foot 8. TJ's doing something with his tongue right now. That's how he makes women ejaculate.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, okay.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Cunnilingus. Rate yourself.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's my son. That's my son when he's a baby.

[Zach Amico]

Which makes me sad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know. When you do. Whenever you do that, whenever you do that motion.

[Zach Amico]

One out of ten, rate yourself.

[TJ Miller]

Solid six, I think.

[Zach Amico]

Solid six.

[TJ Miller]

I'm great at fingering, though. I'm a good finger guy.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Welcome to Hollywood. Five for technique, eight for effort.

[Zach Amico]

I love that sometimes that's what the woman wants. The effort, not the technique.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And I'm very quick to lay on my back and say, just ride my face. Do what you do. What makes you happy.

[Zach Amico]

There needs to be more riding the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Face, Zach, your face is built like. What was that machine that they had on Howard Stern? The Sabian shaped head.

[Zach Amico]

Love to get on there. And what about you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think that. Can I tell you why I've gotten good?

[Zach Amico]

No, I just want to know the number four. No, I'm joking.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've gotten good because I've learned to ask. I've learned to. Can I eat your pussy instead of just going in?

[Zach Amico]

All right, I paid for dill.

[TJ Miller]

Does this always smell disgusting?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. I've learned to ask what she likes because I think back in the day, we would. You learn after eating a bunch of pussies. And I love eating. Is that, like every woman is different. Some girls like it very light. Because sometimes you go and, like. Some girls want it real hard. They need to fuck. You need to fucking lick hard and fast. Some girls need to suck on the clit. Some girls, they don't even want you to touch the clit. They want you to fucking go around the clit. It's a whole thing. Some girls want a finger inside. Some girls want two fingers inside. Some girls want a whole fist inside of there. Dj, you gotta just ask, do you want a fist? That's what I asked. That's what I start with.

[Zach Amico]

That's the beginning. No, but you know what's funny is that's very graphic, but it's also very gentlemanly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then I, I think.

[TJ Miller]

Do you find that most women like it slower and lighter, though? Like, they would.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They want it. They want it soft and light in the beginning.

[TJ Miller]

Right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then they. You got to progressively get faster.

[Zach Amico]

And I. I think you don't want to get much faster because you want them to sort of say, I'd like to have intercourse. Now. I feel I'm right around what you're talking about. I think I. Technique wise, I think I'm good, but I would never say I'm like an 8 or a 9 or something. But I think effort wise, I'm really pushing 8 and 9, maybe even 10 some nights.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I think also a thing that is. I don't think this is my theory. Tell, tell me if you guys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can you play the Sexy music while DJs talking right now? Because this is turning me on.

[TJ Miller]

This is the comedian us, by the way. We're all like, I want to perform.

[Zach Amico]

I want to do good.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, yeah, you do.

[Zach Amico]

But I think you don't want to be a 9 or a 10 at cunnilingus, because I think you should be doing that to pleasure the woman, even slowing it down, because the music, you make it sexy and you want it to be the precursor, the foreplay. That's what he was saying to intercourse. And so I think if you meet a guy who's like, I'm an 8, 9, or a 10, it's always a.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fat guy with a little dick who has that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. But also like, what's up? What's going on?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You say, said fingerless gloves. Oh, my God, a Shannon. Shannon, what do you like? We do have a woman here. Shannon, what do you like? From what I recall, I believe, like.

[Zach Amico]

It varies because it's not always the same. So sometimes lighter, sometimes more rough.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Also depends if other stuff has happened beforehand.

[Zach Amico]

What kind of stuff?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Playing with your tits?

[Zach Amico]

Playing Got gas? No, it's like, has other stuff, like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Has, like, manual stuff happen? Has sex happened already?

[Robbie Goodwin]

You beat her with a car manual?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it varies, but I. I think you're right. And so that's why Lewis is such a gentleman. You ask, you say, hey, what's going on? I. Here's what I always ask.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You spit on the pussy sometimes.

[Zach Amico]

No, I always ask. But what I'm saying, what I won't ask about is if I can use fluff, the marshmallow substance fluff or another. I put that all over her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then she can tell me if she wants it or.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think that'll give a girl a yeast infection for sure. I think women's biomes aren't made for fluff. Fluff?

[TJ Miller]

No. I don't. I don't know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing turns me on more than talking women's biomes.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Like the end of the first Ghostbusters.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And she did not.

[TJ Miller]

Buster.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She didn't pee after sex. And I was like, what the. I was like, go pee. You're gonna get urinary tractor.

[Zach Amico]

I found this out. I just found this out. Kate told me. So women, you know, there are all these reasons that you can get a uti. Even dehydration is one of them. The one that Kate didn't know and I didn't know is when women. Shannon, tell me if you agree with this. Maybe when women hold their pee when they don't urinate, that can cause a uti. And I have a big thing where I don't like people. Somebody says, peeing around you, hey, I know if, like, let's say you were like, we're in the car, and you're like, I gotta fucking go. I gotta piss. I gotta. I would pull over or go the next rest stop. It makes me very uncomfortable knowing this video. Like, if you right now were like, I'm having a good time. This podcast, but I kind of gotta use. That would make me so uncomfortable. Really? I would have a tough time complimenting Lewis's magic.

[TJ Miller]

Right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I got a massage the other day, and I had to pee at the beginning of it, and I didn't. And I've regretted it so much because it was like. It had a piece a little bit, and then I knew it was gonna build. I knew it was gonna be a problem.

[TJ Miller]

It's gonna ruin the massage the whole time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm like, God damn it.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta say me a beat here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know. And I should have went and peed.

[TJ Miller]

I always do it. I. I have small bladders. I'm just used to it. I just like, yeah, you got to do it, you know?

[Zach Amico]

How do you know that you have a small bladder?

[TJ Miller]

I have to pee all the time. Maybe not a small bladder, an active bladder. I don't know what. I don't know what the actual.

[Zach Amico]

Does any of it have to do with.

[TJ Miller]

I think it probably does. Yeah. I've heard, like, anxious people pee more or something like that. So that's. That's cool.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[TJ Miller]

I didn't mean to make everything weird.

[Zach Amico]

No, I thought that was cool. I was just taking it in.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I. I Mean, I think if you're in the car and you're all dudes. Gatorade bottles.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, that's crazy.

[TJ Miller]

But that's why I.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You cannot get your body in the position to pee.

[Robbie Goodwin]

The reason Gatorades have the wide mouth is so you just put your dick in it.

[Zach Amico]

Where did you get that hat? Did you buy it at a place or you bought it off ebay? Did you search? No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Give him the hat, Zach. What are you doing?

[Zach Amico]

He's.

[Robbie Goodwin]

You're welcome to have it if you want.

[Zach Amico]

Did you search mozzarella sticks?

[TJ Miller]

If you buy enough.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's my algorithm.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Zach was searching mozzarella.

[TJ Miller]

His Instagram is all mozzarella stick themed ads targeted to him.

[Robbie Goodwin]

No, it was. It's like a vintage hat store, and I was clicking through it.

[Zach Amico]

Do you consider Gus one of your, like, top five friends? Do you consider him a friend?

[Robbie Goodwin]

He's my boy. We hang out, he fucking sleeps by my head.

[Zach Amico]

Top five?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah. Sleep by my head. What?

[Zach Amico]

Top two friends. Top five.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Zach, if you had to choose me or Gus to die. One of us has to die. Who are you choosing?

[Robbie Goodwin]

Gus doesn't give me a paycheck every month. Sorry.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sorry, buddy.

[Zach Amico]

That went the opposite direction.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Obviously, I'm keeping Gus. Yeah. So I have to pay for my friends. That's the point of all that.

[Zach Amico]

Which I think is fine.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. Why not?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why not?

[Zach Amico]

I have to give.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I don't depend. I don't depend on Gus to pay my rent and bills.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's true.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And Gus depends on Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Gus kind of depends on me. Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Technically, he's Lois's cat.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[TJ Miller]

Zach, my favorite hat of yours is the milf. Man, I love to fart.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That one's really fun. I love to fart.

[Zach Amico]

I love to fart.

[TJ Miller]

I think about that all the time.

[Zach Amico]

Are you. Your hat guy? Your hat game is strong.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

My buddy. Do you guys have a friend who's like. Their T shirt game is unbelievable. Yeah, because my buddy has. His T shirt game is so strong that I. I don't even try and compete.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Tj, you might be my best dressed friend.

[TJ Miller]

I know. It's the Balenciaga.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You dress. You dress. What are you talking about, tj, you dress super cool.

[Zach Amico]

I look like I grew up in a. Just take the compliment to be a real city and in a mostly black and Latino high school. I'm still trying to prove something. My buddy, he's so good with his T shirt game. He's. He sends pictures. Not even trying to. And his latest T shirt has the greatest. He fucking. He bought his wife for her birthday a T shirt that had a crocodile with sunglasses on a skateboard.

[TJ Miller]

That's fine.

[Zach Amico]

Going into the air. And it says. It says. What did it say? It says, like. Like, excited for bed. Like, like the craziest shit. And so the last one he sent us, he says is what? He's got a fucking T shirt with Jesus on it and says he has risen. R I Z Z I N with apostrophe. That's so funny.

[TJ Miller]

I like that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I wish I could dress cool.

[Zach Amico]

But you have. You. You dress cool. You don't think you dress cool?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ah, not really. I just don't care.

[Zach Amico]

And I think you dress pretty cool. You know who has their own styles? Ralph.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ralph.

[Zach Amico]

He's really doing his own thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ralph is just a giant, and so he just gets what fits him.

[TJ Miller]

So you know who dresses great? H. Foley. He has great fat guy style. He, like, always looks pretty good. H. Foley from the Are you Garbage? Podcast.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, yeah, he's really funny.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, he's great.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's a good dude.

[Zach Amico]

But who else did you say is well dressed in the comedy?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well dressed? Well dressed.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Deroza. Sometimes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Interesting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

TJ At Skankfest, you show up with dope outfits. So do I. Like, I like to show up with cool ass outfits at Sketch.

[Zach Amico]

I think you look great at Skank Fest. And then I think Big J Okerson is a guy who, like, really has his own style. But I hate it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, it's terrible. Yeah. And if you say something, he'll literally shut down. You can't make fun of him about it. You have to just. You have to pretend it's cool.

[Zach Amico]

He said the pink. The pink strip. It's terrible, but I like it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's got terrible taste in movies, clothes, music. Big J is just like food, everything. He's just like Harmony Cream. And by the way, Big J is. Listen, Big J is kind of like a hot chick because he's so funny that he didn't have to learn how to do any of these other things Good. So. And he's able to just funny his way out of it.

[Zach Amico]

He's also. And you have this too. He's very warm.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So you can't. You really can't go at him very hard because he's sort of a nice guy, but he's. But he's very good at, like. He's also good with hecklers and stuff.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, he's great.

[Zach Amico]

But I'm trying to think who else in the Comedy scene. I would say, like, that guy. Dress is cool.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dress is cool. Dress. I think most comics don't dress very cool.

[TJ Miller]

Trying to think, too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I was trying to think. Yeah, that's true.

[Robbie Goodwin]

The Sklar brothers always have really nice.

[Zach Amico]

Like New York.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm saying, Shannon, who do we think? Do you have any ideas? You look at the Gaines Gain dresses. He's a black guy. That doesn't count.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They don't count as people.

[Zach Amico]

Literally. Literally. That doesn't count. She said that. I'm like, we're not talking about that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, Sam J. Dresses cool, but I'm not gonna put her up against dance.

[TJ Miller]

Like saying. It's like saying a kid with training wheels on is a great biker.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, I don't know. That's somehow not racist and racist.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No.

[TJ Miller]

It's saying black people are innately good at dress. I'm saying it's. They're sick at it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nate. Bargazi dresses.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That would be like. If you ask what comedians are good dancers.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, John Mulaney dress is good.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I showed my son Mulaney special, though. He loved him. My son loved John.

[Zach Amico]

You know what's interesting? He. I was talking about this recently. Recently, he. Mulaney. I'm not gonna put Gaffigan in this. He is like, I think Bargazi makes me laugh out loud, but Mulaney is like a couple other people. I'm like, you know what? Okay. He's like Seinfeld. I'm like, that person is so funny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I will never laugh out loud. Never in my entire life. Forever.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I will. I laughed out loud.

[TJ Miller]

I love Melania.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The one special. I don't know which one it was. It was.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, that might be a me thing. That might be.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know, it depends on what you see as. Well. Like, I. Because I remember when I was younger, I. He had that one bit about being at the diner and playing the same. The song over and over again. That. When I was younger, I heard that. I thought it was hilarious. Then I watched it again.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And it didn't make me laugh out loud at all.

[TJ Miller]

He's gotten way better since that first cd, though.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Zach Amico]

I hope so, because recently I heard from someone that you should always be.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You should be progressing. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise you should kill yourself. That's crazy. If you were worse, if you do it for longer and you get worse.

[Zach Amico]

Are you ever afraid that this entire empire will crumble right in front of you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

This one right here. Yeah, yeah, of course. That's where a lot of my anxiety came from. But now all the people that unironically say the N word and Heil Hitler right At inaugurations, right. Make they call it the iniguration. I. I don't care.

[Zach Amico]

Just got me canceled. I have so much. I've got so many things. Things going for me and they're all they're gonna do is take a clip of him saying that and then me going like this before I go like that. And that's it. I just lost. I just lost a hundred thousand disavow.

[TJ Miller]

You guys will be like, I told them not to say it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But the amount of people that hold up your beads.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, yeah, look, I'm liberal. I'm liberal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The amount of people that just unironically say that shit on. Because we've been saying these dumb words for years and just being funny and like, what? But we're idiot comedians. But now they're people that are like legitimately hateful on the Internet have created a shield. No, it's not awful. It's great.

[TJ Miller]

Sorry.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's incredible because it's created a shield for people like me where it's like, dude, you can't. How are you going to come after a Puerto Rican comedian for saying the N word when there's people that are just like legitimately using it unironically in hateful ways on the Internet?

[Zach Amico]

I can't. I am surprised because before I wasn't. Like I said, I told Kay, look, this is a democracy. This is what America wants. I had all these. All these tactics, all this stuff that my buddy, right, Nick Vaterat, who's so funny, writes super funny, hysterical. He writes for Bill Maher. So when his politics. He and I will talk for a long time and try. And he's so funny. But I can't believe after seeing that, I can't believe that this is very. And all right here now I'll get myself. Here we go. So this morning I woke up really early because Kate and I really went hard last night and I took out my copy of Mein Kampf.

[TJ Miller]

Mein Coffee.

[Zach Amico]

See, this is my struggle is trying to talk about this, right?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I got my copy of mine Conf. I didn't read any of it today. But none of you have read mine. Conf. I have a bit about this right now. None of you know anyone who's read Minecraft.

[TJ Miller]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But now I'm gonna chat GPT Cliff Notes for it after I leave here.

[Zach Amico]

I've read it. Ask chatgpt how much of it is anti Semitic, how much of it is propaganda, and how much of it is German military mistakes?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Chachi Beatty is going to be. They're going to be very woke about it. They're going to be like, it's awful. It's all Nazi. Like, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They're going to be like, it's the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Greatest book that's ever written.

[Zach Amico]

So here's the thing.

[TJ Miller]

So actually, Hiling is really cool.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When you talk to Gro. When you talk to Grok, it has a German accent.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, it's actually.

[Zach Amico]

His name is.

[TJ Miller]

If you think about the economy at the time, when you think about my name is Heinrich.

[Zach Amico]

So I read it. Donald Trump literally has said, I read that book. I've read Hitler's speeches. And he has said. And it's his playbook. If you read it, it's exactly what he's doing. And what's so scary about that is that's exactly what Hitler did. Once he came into power at this point in his trajectory, he did that. He had people going, hey, this is what we're gonna do. He went. He sort of said half of what was true people. Like, the other half was sort of what. We're all kind of a little wacky and.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But, you know, he's got some good ideas. That's where the Hitler exactly right from.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's exactly right. And in Germany, all the people that now are just like, he's kind of crazy. But in Germany, all those people are like, I mean, he's kind of leveled out. Like, he's not gonna. He's not gonna do. And then when shit started to get real, they were like, I mean, this is really bad. Like, it's. It's good for us, but, like, this is bad. Yeah, that's what's happening currently.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So they had AI redo Hitler's speeches.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty funny.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, it is fine. It's fun, though.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They had it.

[Robbie Goodwin]

By the way, I do know someone that's read Minecamp, because I have a friend who got arrested with a copy of it. He wasn't arrested for having it, but it was on his.

[Zach Amico]

He should have been. Shannon.

[Robbie Goodwin]

It was on his person.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shannon, look up there. They just did Hitler speeches on YouTube. They. They. They had AI translate them to English. And is this what. This is Hitler speaking to German crowds, but not just in German. I want to hear the English version. So it says, hold on, but AI use, like, his voice.

[TJ Miller]

It just pulls up compound.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Media translated. Speed. AI translated.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's see. There's A. A film called the Double Headed Eagle and it has all of his speeches. It's very interesting. You should watch it. But it's the same thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thing? No, it says. It said translated. Hold on, let's see. Maybe fast forward a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

I'm here for Zach.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, this is stupid.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Oh, no, not that guy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, here.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Maybe this is anything but an international creation.

[Zach Amico]

As a noble conception, it has grown exclusively in Aryan hearts and reaches its intellectual apotheosis only in Aryan.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Apotheosis is a great word.

[Zach Amico]

Completely foreign.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That's our office manager.

[Zach Amico]

Apotheosis.

[TJ Miller]

Get your ass downstairs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You guys want some coffee?

[Zach Amico]

Always and forever be the born private capitalist of the most exploitative kind. And it is no coincidence that the great pillars on which some later mistakenly tried to build the foundation of a so called people's enlightenment were all without exception.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Opponent sounds like he's losing steam.

[Zach Amico]

Hitler.

[TJ Miller]

So it's hard to yell this long time.

[Zach Amico]

The main. The opponent in the way that he sort of attacked and went after Jews because he didn't care about Jewish people. But they control the media.

[Robbie Goodwin]

I thought he didn't care for them.

[Zach Amico]

He didn't care for him. They control the media. So the whole fake news thing was just lifted from that?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Hitler called them the Luden Press. The lying press.

[Zach Amico]

Exactly.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And that was his version of fake news.

[Zach Amico]

Exactly.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And he would say, luden Press. That was his.

[Zach Amico]

And that was in the one. Because I've memorized one of his speeches and the main one that he was after. And I'm Jewish. Are you Jewish?

[TJ Miller]

No, I'm not.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you really memorize Hitler speeches?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm Jewish. And so it is really like. It's very bizarre. It's like if you know that speech and you watch Trump speeches, he's like a fucking poor man's Hitler. Like a very poor, like a in debt man's Hitler. But it's just a really fucking weird thing to be happening right now. What I did tell Kate, and this is what I want to say to all your listeners.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're Nazis. You can say Nazis.

[Zach Amico]

How people are feeling right now about Trump was exactly how people felt about Nixon and Lyndon B. Johnson and also George W. Bush. So there is a world where it's just. This is how far it swung, but it's gonna come back. It's just every time one of these presidents gets elected, everyone's like, it's the end of the fucking world. And I just. I'm not sure he can be president again after this term. I just don't know how he's going to get that done.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, I don't think he's gonna. I don't know. I don't think he's gonna.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, you think he's gonna die?

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's too.

[TJ Miller]

He's gonna be too old. He's already too old.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Well, this is his second term. He would have to make legislation that.

[TJ Miller]

He'S allowed to run against the law.

[Zach Amico]

It is. It is interesting to watch him, because I told someone go, well, he's chilled out a lot. And someone was like, yeah, he's about to die. Like, of course he's less like. Cause he's like, I mean, I will.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Say, dude, he did fucking matrix that bullet. So, I mean, God bless him, dude, that was crazy.

[TJ Miller]

It was the comeback in history. I'm not going to lie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Or.

[Zach Amico]

Or did he really get shot in the ear? And Joe Rogan was like, that healed up pretty good. He's like, oh, yeah. Did. Did he really get shot?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think I. I first I thought it was a conspiracy, but I think he was really shot.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, I think so, too.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I do. I think he was really shot. It was f. It was bonkers. That was a crazy thing. He literally.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Whenever Joe Rogan talks, I wish I would get shot in the ear.

[TJ Miller]

Unbelievable.

[Zach Amico]

Who am I here for?

[TJ Miller]

Well, Joe Rogan is. Joe Rogan is a verbal assassin. We forget about that.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you know, this has been really fun, but I don't feel like I got to know you guys as well as I hope to. At the outset of coming down, he did tell me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He was like, I have a lot of questions for you. Okay, well.

[Zach Amico]

And I. I think I came here and I said, obviously, I want to know Zach better. I wasn't aware you were going to be on the podcast. That was more than pleasant. Surprised.

[TJ Miller]

That's good.

[Zach Amico]

And I said, you know, I bet I can ask Lewis a couple things that are really split him open, make him wide open to the. But I think you are an open book. I am, Zach. I think you're an enigma. Rap easy.

[TJ Miller]

Enigma.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Please.

[Zach Amico]

Come on in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's the drama llama.

[Zach Amico]

I think you're an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a piece of bacon. And I think I'd like to be more of an open book, but I just.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Zach. Zeltonpuka. Is that what it's called?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if it's.

[TJ Miller]

The book is Mein Kampf.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, I'm not shaking your hand for that one.

[TJ Miller]

All right, yeah, sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Jew.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What a show.

[Zach Amico]

But I. It was a great show.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was a great show.

[Zach Amico]

And I just. Here's what I feel like. I feel like if I had one wish, if I had a dream that could come true, it would be that each of your dreams came true.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Aw.

[Zach Amico]

Because I think each of you are a genuine. You're genuine individuals and you genuinely deserve to be happy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe I say this all the time.

[Zach Amico]

These 24 year olds.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, they're 20. 20.

[Zach Amico]

Zach. Don't offer to kill your cat for a goddamn page.

[TJ Miller]

They're 25 and a half. Teacher.

[Zach Amico]

Get out of your head and make that kind of Lingus a 10 DJ.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I say this very often to many people, that you're one of my favorite people in the world. I really mean that. You're great. Tj. We became good friends.

[Zach Amico]

It's true.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We became good friends.

[Robbie Goodwin]

And they're not 24 year olds. There's like 14 or 15 of them.

[TJ Miller]

I get it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You gotta do it.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We're gonna wrap this one up. Shannon, thank you so much for producing today's show. Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for being so patient.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Robbie Goodwin. We got to almost none of these notes, which is a sign of a great podcast.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't want. I don't want you if I don't come on a podcast. I don't want you to. You can save those for the next time. I wanted to know more about you guys and I guess the one person I don't feel like I am. What's your greatest accomplishment? What's your greatest fear?

[TJ Miller]

I was on 2B and my greatest.

[Zach Amico]

Which of those is it?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's the.

[Zach Amico]

I like that one. Does Anyone like that one?

[TJ Miller]

2B or not to be. Thank you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Welcome to Hollywood.

[Zach Amico]

Welcome to Hollywood. 2B.

[Robbie Goodwin]

2B. Welcome to Black Netflix.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, I did actually doing Jim and Sam. I would say doing Jim and Sam was a big accomplishment.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's fucking amazing. Although there's no more gym.

[TJ Miller]

I know. I guess it doesn't. It's. But you know, growing up with an Opie and Anthony and stuff, that was like a cool moment to be.

[Zach Amico]

Is the future.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah. They're doing the super bowl suddenly.

[Zach Amico]

It's not a fucking. No. They're the future. I want to do.

[TJ Miller]

I love to actually all my stand.

[Zach Amico]

Up specials I want to do on tubi from here on out. I'm not joking.

[TJ Miller]

They're great. They have so many good movies on there.

[Zach Amico]

And they got fucking money. They got more. They have two. He has more subscribers than Netflix, Hulu, really, combined.

[TJ Miller]

That's why they're doing the super bowl on there.

[Zach Amico]

Give it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe I'll try to do my special. Let's go. You ever connect that? To be.

[TJ Miller]

Shout out. To be.

[Zach Amico]

That's the only place.

[TJ Miller]

Shout out. Ciso.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Also somebody. Somebody is playing my special recently because my cousin like just something he was like, yo, you're on TV, dog. And he lives in Florida. I was like, what the is this?

[Robbie Goodwin]

My sister in law took a picture of the TV she saw you on.

[TJ Miller]

They might have been to be. They buy up a bunch of like old stuff.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I don't get paid.

[Robbie Goodwin]

Got. Did you do live at Gotham?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was no, it was. Yeah, it was live at Gotham.

[Robbie Goodwin]

That might be Paramount.

[Zach Amico]

That was so good. Why did that go away?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I think comedy the joker took over. All right, look, we're done. You guys are the best. We'll check you guys on Friday. Exclusive episode just for subscribers. Gas digital.com go subscribe.

[Zach Amico]

It is Tuesday right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, it's Wednesday. We're live. Goodbye.

[Zach Amico]

Voice. When they making noise.