0032. Chloe LaBranche and KP Burke

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo - Episode 0032: Chloe LaBranche and KP Burke

Release Date: August 3, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 0032 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo on the GaS Digital Network, host Zac Amico welcomes two engaging guests from the American Loser podcast: KP Burke and Chloe LaBranche. The episode blends humor, personal anecdotes, and serious discussions, delivering a dynamic and multifaceted conversation for listeners.

---

1. Unusual Food Experiences

The episode opens with a humorous yet unsettling discussion about a listener's experience of finding teeth in her food. Chloe LaBranche introduces the topic, sparking a lively debate among the hosts.

• Chloe LaBranche [04:15]: "She says I have one brain cell left."
• KP Burke [04:22]: "There's a thing called PCOS that women can get, and it's like, basically, you get tumors that grow in you, and the tumors can get hair and teeth."

The hosts humorously dissect the scenario, speculating on the type of meat and the possible origins of the teeth found in the dish. They explore cultural food practices, such as Jamaican goat stew, and share personal memories of diner experiences, highlighting the diverse culinary landscape.

---

2. Diner Nostalgia and Food Stories

Zac Amico shares nostalgic memories of the Yankee Tower Diner in Palisades Park, New Jersey, painting a vivid picture of his childhood experiences.

• Zac Amico [11:07]: "Every Saturday, I would work for my dad, and we would go Yankee Tower for meatloaf."

The conversation delves into the quirks of diner menus, the variety of meatloaf ingredients, and the unique atmosphere of truck stop diners. KP Burke reminisces about Jamaican and Middle Eastern culinary influences, while Chloe LaBranche discusses favorite diner dishes like Belgian waffles and pancakes with chocolate chips.

---

3. Hair Loss and Cosmetic Procedures

Transitioning to a lighter yet relatable topic, the hosts engage in a humorous exchange about hair loss and cosmetic procedures. They discuss societal perceptions of baldness, the use of products like castor oil for hair growth, and the lengths individuals go to maintain their appearance.

• KP Burke [37:36]: "They all just look like. Who was the rapper on Trailer Park Boys?"
• Chloe LaBranche [63:46]: "We called her Truck Face because she was Cuban and had a mustache in fifth grade."

The dialogue reflects on personal insecurities and the humorous side of cosmetic enhancements, blending self-deprecation with camaraderie.

---

4. Celebrity Relationships and Casting Choices

A segment of the episode focuses on the relationship between Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson, with the hosts playfully critiquing their on-screen chemistry and casting decisions.

• Zac Amico [25:07]: "She doesn't wear makeup anymore. But I will say she aged gracefully."
• K.P Burke [25:22]: "They used to do that to him literally having a real toupee."

The discussion includes touches on other celebrities like Leslie Nielsen and Billy Zane, exploring their roles in films and public personas. The hosts humorously speculate on casting choices and their implications for the actors' careers.

---

5. Serious Discussion on Sexual Assault in Comedy

Midway through the episode, the tone shifts dramatically as a listener named Shannon shares a heartfelt and harrowing account of experiencing sexual assault within the comedy community. This segment addresses the challenges survivors face in seeking justice and the industry's handling of such sensitive issues.

• Shannon [51:38]: "I would have been yelling rapist at an SNL audition."
• Chloe LaBranche [53:35]: "Rape is the original Ozempic."

Shannon recounts her ordeal of confronting her assaulters, the insufficient response from authorities, and the emotional toll it took on her. The hosts respond with empathy and support, emphasizing the importance of addressing and acknowledging such traumas within the industry.

---

6. High School Memories and Nicknames

The hosts reminisce about their high school days, sharing stories of nicknames and the lasting impact of those formative experiences.

• K.P Burke [63:35]: "Fat Crab's mom came in one day looking for him. And she said, if you guys see Bill. And we're like, who the fuck's Bill?"
• Chloe LaBranche [63:46]: "We called her Truck Face because she was Cuban and had a mustache in fifth grade."

These anecdotes provide a blend of humor and reflection, illustrating how early experiences and interactions shape one's personality and memories.

---

7. Closing Remarks

As the episode winds down, Zac Amico expresses gratitude towards the guests and listeners, encouraging support for the show and promoting upcoming content.

• Zac Amico [66:38]: "Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you so much for my guests, K.P. Burke and the wonderful, delightful Chloe LaBrunch."

The hosts conclude with a mix of humor and heartfelt thanks, reinforcing the community-oriented spirit of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo.

---

Notable Quotes

• Chloe LaBranche [53:35]: "Rape is the original Ozempic."
• Zac Amico [25:07]: "She doesn't wear makeup anymore. But I will say she aged gracefully."
• KP Burke [44:39]: "Tricky."
• Shannon [51:38]: "I would have been yelling rapist at an SNL audition."

These quotes encapsulate the range of topics and emotions covered in the episode, from lighthearted banter to serious reflections.

---

Conclusion

Episode 0032 of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo delivers a diverse array of discussions, seamlessly blending humor with poignant topics. Guests KP Burke and Chloe LaBranche contribute their unique perspectives, making for an engaging and thought-provoking episode. Whether reminiscing about diner days, navigating personal insecurities, or addressing serious social issues, the episode offers a comprehensive and entertaining listening experience for both regular followers and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Chloe LeBron]

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[K.P. Burke]

Bombas are so absurdly comfortable, you may throw out all your other clothes.

[Chloe LeBron]

Sorry, do we legally have to say that?

[K.P. Burke]

No, this is just how I talk. And I really love my Bombas.

[Chloe LeBron]

They do feel that good. And they do good, too. One item purchased equals one item donated. To feel good and do good, go to bombas.com and use code audio for.

[Shannon]

20% off your first purchase.

[Chloe LeBron]

That's B O m b a s.com.

[Shannon]

And use code audio at checkout.

[Zach Amico]

Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play jokes against you Start your day till the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your leg Touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew It's Zach Amico morning, too. Hey, it's Wednesday, you maniacs. It's your old pal, cousin Zach. That's right, the other boy. The international superstar. Welcoming you to another edition of of Zac Amigos Morning Zoo here on the Gas Digital Network. I am very happy and I am thrilled and I am very, very lucky because across the table from me are two very, very funny, wonderful people from American Loser, a man who is stuck recording with me all day today, K.P. burke.

[K.P. Burke]

Damn right. But we're having. It's our day, buddy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, we're gonna have. It is a romantic day.

[K.P. Burke]

Total bromance here.

[Zach Amico]

I think we're technically married by the end of today.

[K.P. Burke]

We put the time in. I'll put it that way.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. And then next to him, I mean, funny, beautiful, talented. And we're just lucky to have her. It's our pal, Chloe lebron.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, thank you, Zach. It's nice to be here.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you very much for your time. I appreciate it. Welcome back.

[Chloe LeBron]

Haven't been on your new show.

[Zach Amico]

I hope you're enjoying your brief visit. And thank you for being here.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, thanks for having me.

[Zach Amico]

You're absolutely wonderful. Thank you. Let's get plugs out of the way. Thank you. Kp, my friend. What do you want people to check out?

[K.P. Burke]

Well, I'm here on the network, baby, so it's a. Pbberksucks is over on the Instagram, and then American Loser is every Thursday now over on Gas Digital. So come check us out. Zach's episode, huge hit. We talk about the true story of the Jersey Devil and people are loving it, buddy.

[Zach Amico]

So very, very good. Ms. Lebronche know you've got news for women. What do you want people to look at?

[Chloe LeBron]

I have news for women. Check it out on YouTube. Metzger's writing it with me now.

[Zach Amico]

Very cool.

[Chloe LeBron]

He's my new assistant on the show, so it's. It's really fun. And then I'm gonna be at Magoobies this weekend featuring for Jim Norton. I don't know when this comes out, but live today.

[Zach Amico]

And it'll be out on YouTube by then.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, that's the only road date I have coming up soon, so.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic. Well, please support Chloe out on the road. If you guys want to see me go to my Instagram at Zach is not funny. Go to get tickets for my live shows at punchup Live. Zach, amica. What do I got coming up, guys? You know it. You love it. Nashville, Tennessee, on August 28. August 29, Pulaski, Tennessee. August 30. Miami, Ohio. August 31, Lexington, Kentucky, got another run coming end of September, as well as dates with JCW this weekend, the 12th through the 16th at the gathering of the Juggalos. And they just signed me for seven more days in September, so. Fuck, I'm back out on the road, baby. All right, let's have some fucking fun today. Let's start easy. Woman claims to have found teeth on a bone inside her food. Hmm.

[K.P. Burke]

We're going to find out what kind of food it is.

[Zach Amico]

No, we're going to find out what kind of lady it is.

[K.P. Burke]

Oh, boy. All right, this is going to say.

[Chloe LeBron]

It sounds like it has pcos. You don't know what that is?

[Zach Amico]

No, but it's.

[K.P. Burke]

Is that that disease thing that every guy was scared of from the vagina movie?

[Chloe LeBron]

No. Oh, no. Oh, you mean. Yeah, teeth.

[K.P. Burke]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Vagina tetata.

[Chloe LeBron]

No. So there's a thing called PCOS that women can get, and it's like, basically, you get tumors that grow in you, and the tumors can get hair and teeth.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. My friend had one of those, and she named her tumor Fritz. It had a tooth in it. Well, no, I don't think that's the case. Let's see what this lovely young woman has to say about her tooth food.

[Chloe LeBron]

Let's listen to it.

[K.P. Burke]

This is recent. It must be the heat wave. She's gone braless for this one, obviously.

[Shannon]

So many of them.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's fine, baby. Don't worry about it.

[K.P. Burke]

You can see the teeth on that, though.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm sure when the lights are out and she smiles.

[K.P. Burke]

I'm trying to figure out what her accent's gonna be. Or if she's just straight up American.

[Zach Amico]

Because if it's a Haitian, my grandmama was born in Paris.

[K.P. Burke]

If she's Haitian, she's probably like, look at the little amount of teeth in my food here. This is ridiculous.

[Zach Amico]

Supposed to tell the future with these few teeth. I gotta roll them bones, man.

[K.P. Burke]

I can't tell the future if I only have this many teeth on this. I need at least eight teeth. Be able to read the tea leaves, man.

[Zach Amico]

The tea leaves.

[Shannon]

Sorry, Zach. I'm sending it to Jorge to see if maybe the audio will come through from his side.

[Zach Amico]

No problem. Well, for people listening, she is patting her hair aggressively to itch it. If you need to know, I just. There we go. Please, please indulge us, my friends. I just ordered me some food.

[Chloe LeBron]

I'm kind of.

[Zach Amico]

I'm kind of. I'm kind of losing my. My last brain cell now. What they. She says I have one brain cell left. I'm allowed to acknowledge that. That's funny, right? Like, if she had said, I'm losing brain cells and I want. She's running out.

[K.P. Burke]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

That would have been mean for her to dunk on herself immediately and say, I'm losing my last brain cell.

[K.P. Burke]

What a terrifying piece of meat to pick up, though.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah. What, did she have, like, teeth in her lasagna the day before?

[Zach Amico]

All right, keep it going. I just want to know.

[Chloe LeBron]

I want to know how. I've been sitting here eating this meat, and I noticed a row of teeth in my shit.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, pause. And shouldn't we be able to tell what kind of meat that is by now?

[K.P. Burke]

I'm still terrified. And also, the fact she's holding the bone means you can tell she's. The restraint to not clap in between everything she's saying.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[K.P. Burke]

Is only impaired by the fact that she's holding the meat in her hand.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. This is her third take. She bit her own hand three times. So what is it? Looks like possum or like. It looks like one of those. It looks very stew meat.

[Chloe LeBron]

It has molars. That's what we're looking at.

[Zach Amico]

It looks like a stewed meat.

[K.P. Burke]

If it had, like, braces on it, that would be even more. That's. That's more of a spook show topic for us, though, isn't it?

[Zach Amico]

Right. That's braces. All right. Keep it going.

[Chloe LeBron]

And that ain't it. They got the top and bottom jaw in my. I just sat here and ate this food and bit into somebody molar. And I'm saying somebody, because I don't.

[Zach Amico]

Know if there's an animal or a.

[Chloe LeBron]

Motherfucking human in this bowl of meat.

[Zach Amico]

Pause. Okay. A ma', am, I believe your first mistake was ordering bowl of meat. That's not good.

[K.P. Burke]

Is she going to get into what restaurants serve this? Because this is like. That's actually a nightmare of mine. If I look down and I saw and I've gone hunting, I've eaten stuff that I've, you know, shot in the woods and everything. And that's. I don't know. There's just something about eating the face of something that freaks me out.

[Zach Amico]

I have to ask a stupid question right now, please. And I need everyone to forgive my ignorance. Chickens have teeth.

[K.P. Burke]

I want to say. No, dude, they have beaks, right?

[Zach Amico]

Are there teeth in there, too? Shannon? Google it. Because I feel dumb as a motherfucker that I don't know the answer.

[Chloe LeBron]

Also, the chicken's not fried, and that's not me being racist. I'm just saying.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's like, it looks like a. Yeah. Triggers do not. Thank God.

[Chloe LeBron]

So what type of animals have molars?

[Zach Amico]

I feel like this is. Is it like oxtail or something?

[K.P. Burke]

That's kind of what I'm leaning towards.

[Zach Amico]

That's what I feel like. It looks like we should take a.

[Chloe LeBron]

Picture of it and then ask Chat sheep and tea.

[Zach Amico]

I'm afraid it's gonna recognize the wrong part of the picture. Don't ask Rock. All right, Shannon, keep it going because I want to know what kind she ordered. Bowl of meat. That's not a great start. Am I a cannibal? That is a carnival. What the fuck is the word?

[Chloe LeBron]

What is going on?

[Zach Amico]

What's going on?

[Chloe LeBron]

Honestly, a roll of teeth. It also comes in, like, a plastic thing. So it looks like it was like a dried meat that she was eating.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dry bowl of meat.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, it looks like it was, like, dried out things.

[Zach Amico]

Like somebody left it out for cured or whatever. Like, that's how they feed. Like receptionists. That's how they feed dental hygienists. They leave out their dry food.

[Shannon]

I found something in one of the comments where people were speculating and they think it could be from a goat because they're. They're saying, like, when they make the stew, they don't, like, pull the teeth out of it. They kind of just throw the whole thing in there.

[Zach Amico]

That would look. That looks goaty.

[K.P. Burke]

Jamaicans do a lot, so I'm guessing Jamaicans.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I want to say that might be Jamaican for that. Maybe goat stew. Or maybe goat curry.

[K.P. Burke]

They'll do that. Like, the middle Easterners are really big on lamb and stuff, too. Yeah. They used to cook a goat for, like, my. I'm adopted, but my mom's Armenian, and my. My mom's grandfather. Apparently, the delicacy was to pull the eye out of the head of the lamb after it was cooked. Of course.

[Zach Amico]

Course.

[K.P. Burke]

But to then eat that, that was like, if you were head of the table, you got that. Delicacy was for you. And that skeeved me out. Now imagine, do you think you guys.

[Zach Amico]

Ate so much lamb because nobody wanted to serve turkey?

[K.P. Burke]

100%, by the way. Underrated gem there, buddy. Geopolitical conversation.

[Zach Amico]

Geopolitical. Yuma Sock. Chloe has no idea what that joke was about.

[Chloe LeBron]

I don't. But also, I do have a question. Is it looks like if it was some sort of curry, it looks like she went and washed the thing and then came back and sat in her car to do the video.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Chloe LeBron]

To make it look more in real time.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Because I feel like that would have had a bunch of, like, slop on it.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah. So she's acting like she was eating in a big rush, and then all of a sudden, she saw the teeth. But it looks like she was probably just casually at home eating it. So I. I was like, this is gonna go viral.

[Zach Amico]

I got two faces and my foodsis.

[K.P. Burke]

I wonder if this is an op. Is that it?

[Zach Amico]

So I used to eat at a place called the Yankee Tower diner. Do you remember Yankee Tower, Jersey? Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

I got nothing right now. Hit me.

[Zach Amico]

It was Palisades Park. The town before is across from 7 11. It became a no Chase day, Colombia.

[K.P. Burke]

Thank God. All right, I'll take as many of those as they have to have, but they're pretty sweet. Nothing.

[Zach Amico]

Can you Google Yankee Tower Diner, New Jersey? It was a truck stop. It was my favorite place in the world. When I was a kid. Every Saturday, I would work for my dad, and we would go Yankee Tower for meatloaf. And it was. When I say the definition of a greasy spoon, like, one time we saw the chef who looked like Bluto from Popeye. He was perfect. Washing gravy out of a giant, like, pot. And we watched him dip his whole forearm in it and then eat the gravy from his elbow to his wrist. And I was like. I was, like, 7, and I would sit at the counter, and the waitresses were all just these nasty truck stop ladies. And I remember that I'm just 7, and my dad went to the bathroom and came Back. And I'm sitting talking to the waitress, and she's like, you believe that fucking cocksucker didn't tip me? I'd be like, what an asshole. And one time a guy ordered Gala Mod already.

[K.P. Burke]

There's rules. You don't do seafood at a diner already.

[Zach Amico]

And he. He calls over the waitress and says, there's a tooth in this. And she takes out a full human tooth and grabs him by the nose, opens his mouth and goes, that's not one of yours. And Kobe's it into the garbage.

[K.P. Burke]

That would skeeve me out, man.

[Zach Amico]

It was the best. The happiest I could be trick with.

[K.P. Burke]

Jamaican food now is I wonder, because, like, half of their. I only know this from my time in the military, But Jamaican dudes, if they'll eat anything, as long as you tell them that it makes their.

[Zach Amico]

Their dick hard, okay?

[K.P. Burke]

So if you can convince them that by eating teeth that you would then, you know, be able to, you know, not need a Blue Chew or something like that, there's a good chance that some guy. It's just an order.

[Zach Amico]

The Blue Chew, you.

[Chloe LeBron]

Why do Jamaicans typically have erectile issues?

[Zach Amico]

No, I think it's just a bravado thing.

[K.P. Burke]

100%. They used to tell me Guinness would make your dick hard. And then they would tell me, honest to God, I can't think of things that they were telling me wouldn't make your dick hard. That was just. I don't know why that was I being threatened with Guinness? Yeah, Guinness.

[Zach Amico]

They said, yeah, Nothing makes me want to fuck more than drinking a loaf of bread.

[K.P. Burke]

Jamaicans are wild dudes, man. It was. They don't have to go to the gas station. They try to get it naturally. You know what I mean? They work themselves into it, but that does.

[Zach Amico]

I don't make love to me woman when she on her red Stripe.

[K.P. Burke]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon. Did you find the Yankee Tower Diner?

[Shannon]

Yeah, it's hard. I'm having a hard time, like, finding an exact picture of it. All I keep finding is people sharing their meatloaf.

[Zach Amico]

The meatloaf. It was in the newspaper the week they closed a new place. Yeah, that was the. I remember that being in the paper.

[K.P. Burke]

And whole milk, eggs, teeth. Got it.

[Zach Amico]

Yep, yep. It was okay, by the way, this is an approximation, because every time we went, it was never. It was whatever they had. There would be boiled eggs in it, sometimes onions in it. There'd be mushrooms in it. Some. It was a fucking.

[Shannon]

Who puts Swiss cheese in meatloaf?

[Zach Amico]

They do, Shannon.

[K.P. Burke]

Whatever.

[Chloe LeBron]

America Shannon, you never had mozzarella in a meatloaf.

[Shannon]

Yeah, not Swiss cheese.

[Zach Amico]

Well, fucking open your horizon.

[Shannon]

It's Swiss cheese and yellow American cheese. Yeah, that's just garbage.

[Zach Amico]

No, I'm talking about the truck stop I went to as a boy.

[Chloe LeBron]

I can't believe, Shannon, you chime in about the Swiss cheese, but the teeth. You just let it happen because it's.

[Shannon]

Like you're already eating this meat. So you're disgusted that you're seeing a part of it you'd want to pretend doesn't exist.

[Chloe LeBron]

That's why.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. That's all I want. That's all I want right now. Every year for. For my birthday, I asked my wife to make me a Yankee Tower meatloaf. And she looks at the recipe and goes, no, I'll make you a good one.

[Chloe LeBron]

She could just put anything in the house in it.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah, it's whatever was 86 that week.

[Chloe LeBron]

From the restaurant, what's your favorite food?

[Zach Amico]

It's actually meatloaf. Yeah, meatloaf. Or I would say diner Nachos.

[Chloe LeBron]

Diner nachos.

[Zach Amico]

Like nachos supreme. From like a diner. Diner. Like, not too Mexican. Like real white people shit.

[Chloe LeBron]

Is there anything off limits for you at menus at diners?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, obviously I don't get lobster. Don't get. Yeah, I think. I think if you're gonna get seafood, it's got to be like shrimp or something that, you know, that's not ancient. I think there's diner etiquette. Right?

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah. I don't know. I. I went to lunch at a hospital. Not like, just casually. Yeah, I was like, at the hospital and I was with my friend and she ordered the like, squid pasta at the hospital diner. And I was like, I don't know if this is allowed. She's like, but it's a hospital. I'm sure it's really sterile. And I'm just like. I just think that's a not as, like, almost disrespectful.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I would say not. I feel like, like. And then don't waste your money on like a steak because it's going to be like that, like Romanian steak and eggs. That's like almost like steakums. I say diner, you go burger, you go breakfast food. Or Greek food. If it's a Greek diner, which many in Jersey are, you go gyro or something like that.

[Chloe LeBron]

What's that food? It's really popular probably in New Jersey and like Pennsylvania. It's. It's a breakfast food and it's kind of like. No, it's like a meat that they. That they grind up.

[Zach Amico]

Scrapple.

[Chloe LeBron]

Scrapple is that big in New Jersey, too?

[Zach Amico]

No, our big thing is either pork roll or Taylor ham, what you want to call it.

[K.P. Burke]

Did have scrapple recently, though. That's funny.

[Chloe LeBron]

It's a big Pennsylvania thing.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah, they're big on that one. It's apparently if you e of it, you get cancer.

[Zach Amico]

But what's the go to diner?

[Chloe LeBron]

At least it makes your dick hard.

[K.P. Burke]

That's right. It's finally.

[Zach Amico]

What's your go to diner?

[K.P. Burke]

Oh, it's breakfast all day, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Or disco fries. If it's a real Jersey diner.

[K.P. Burke]

That's. It's upon how drunk you are showing up at the, you know, said diner. But that was. Yeah, disco fries was. If you were drunk and then otherwise it was breakfast food.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

Can't go wrong there.

[Chloe LeBron]

I like waffles. I always get a Belgian waffle.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I think. And I think that's all safe diner food.

[Chloe LeBron]

Or pancakes with chocolate chips.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Shannon, what are you. What's your garbage? Your Italian garbage?

[Shannon]

Yeah. I'm gonna go buy what I used to eat back in the day after clubs, like, in the morning, your boyfriend's fist. And it would be disco fries or, like a turkey burger with cheese and fries.

[Zach Amico]

Very good, Jorge.

[K.P. Burke]

All the time. And she would just put it up against her black eyes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. A bag of frozen peas.

[K.P. Burke]

Something cool for the lady. A compress, please.

[Zach Amico]

For me.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah, I normally go burger or I like sandwiches. Like, anything with, like. Like a meatloaf sandwich. Sometimes that's option or. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think all very, very, very. And I would say most diner meatloafs kind of slap.

[Chloe LeBron]

You like mashed potatoes with it?

[Zach Amico]

Love it.

[Chloe LeBron]

I love fried onions, garlic mashed potatoes.

[Zach Amico]

Fried onions, mashed potatoes. And then either cream, spinach, or broccoli.

[Chloe LeBron]

It is truly incredible when you go to a diner. The menu is like the. The length of a Bible.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. But I feel like most of it's not applicable.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah.

[Chloe LeBron]

But, like, how do they have all they. It's like they probably don't have all those ingredients. They probably.

[Zach Amico]

I would say they bet on not having to need it. Like, maybe they have it. Maybe it's super frozen.

[Chloe LeBron]

Mm.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I can't imagine going to a diner and wanting, like, clams.

[Chloe LeBron]

It's also, like, how does this one cook know how to make every single cuisine?

[Zach Amico]

Because he's Mexican. That's what they do. That. That's what Mexicans do. They know all of them.

[Chloe LeBron]

They know everything.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then I'm sure they have. I'm sure they have cheat sheets in the back.

[K.P. Burke]

The guy across the street over here, the. The deli over here. I went there. It looked like I was like, all right, cool. I'm in, you know, the Village. I'm gonna get a Cuban sandwich, right? You go to Union City, New Jersey, they make them perfect, right? So I ordered a Cuban sandwich, and I'm not kidding, the guy had to lean across the counter and look up at the menu to see what was on a Cuban sandwich to then make it. And I was like, all right, this is going to suck. I'm just. I wasted $11 and then banging Cuban sandwich. He just figured it out. I don't know how, but I'm just impressed.

[Zach Amico]

We used to go to West New York for those.

[K.P. Burke]

Oh, you have to, man. Wherever the Cubans are, that's where they're going to make them.

[Zach Amico]

Well, you might. Well, my. My aunt married a Cuban guy, and her. His father only wanted Cuban food. So if we own out, it was Cuban sandwiches they would bring. And in retrospect, this might be autism, but he was an old man, so it was just him being quirky. He had to have rice and black beans with everything. So if they were coming to our house for a holiday, they would bring a crock pot of already made rice and black beans. So, like Fourth of July, he would get a hamburger and a hot dog and then just mow down on a big plate of rice and black bean. Thanksgiving, they would bring their own rice and black beans and put it on the table with the rest of the Thanksgiving food. It was like a Christmas, and then they would do Christmas, and it was always Cuban food.

[Chloe LeBron]

He was the type of guy on the airplane who had rice and beans.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if he ever flew. Oh, I mean, I'm sure he flew to get here, but other than that, no, I think. I don't remember them ever flying. I don't think they ever.

[K.P. Burke]

So he's from Cuba and you think he flew to get here?

[Chloe LeBron]

No, he probably had some rice and beans on his driftwood.

[K.P. Burke]

I was gonna say there's a raft ride.

[Zach Amico]

He was. Supposedly. He went to jail for Castro. Put him in jail for a while. And we think that's why he was, like, real bitter.

[K.P. Burke]

Oh, makes sense.

[Zach Amico]

He was like a political dissident. So he. He was, like, in the hole for a while.

[K.P. Burke]

He was probably saying crazy to Castro, like, please don't kill me.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

Hey, you're giving me a problem here, buddy.

[Zach Amico]

Right? Yeah, he Was an He. He was an angry, angry, bitter old he. He. He just went angry. He went kicking and screaming. That's, you know, when old people, no, not only will they not die, they won't enjoy being alive. And it's like, pick a one. Pick one. Either be miserable to be here.

[Chloe LeBron]

My friend was saying how her. Her father was really sick and he was dying, and then they were like, oh, you don't have much time. And he became super nice and then he got better and now he's a fucking asshole again.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I didn't have that middle part.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, it's just. He's just like. She's like, he was so nice for a little. Now he's just. They're like, you're gonna be okay. And he's like, you, you.

[Zach Amico]

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[Shannon]

Yeah, I just have the. Just from the comments, I don't know for sure.

[Zach Amico]

And yeah, you know what? I could see that happening every now and then. I think it sucks that you got a bowl of meat and most of it was jaw it.

[K.P. Burke]

I couldn't do it. I couldn't.

[Zach Amico]

But I will also say cabeza tacos are excellent.

[Chloe LeBron]

I'm pretty sure in like, like Abu Dhabi and places like that. You know, goat is a big delicacy for them. They. They give the brain. The brain is the most important part to eat. So she was getting close.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think. I mean, I order cabeza meat tacos when I get, like, real Mexican food.

[K.P. Burke]

What is the difference between that and anything?

[Zach Amico]

Cheek meat.

[K.P. Burke]

The cheek me. Right on. That's. That's like. What's the other one? They call it.

[Zach Amico]

It's almost a head cheese.

[K.P. Burke]

Head cheese. That's the other one. I was thinking of where they. They're very clever with the names on that one, man. What was it? So Abu Dhabi. You were saying that one. So I was in Dubai for same.

[Chloe LeBron]

Same thing.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah. 100%. Abu Dhabi was like this. The really nice part. I was in a shittier part.

[Zach Amico]

But Abu Dhabi is where Garfield would try to mail Nirmal.

[K.P. Burke]

That's.

[Chloe LeBron]

Wow.

[K.P. Burke]

It all makes sense now. Really geopolitical again. They. What was it? So that they weren't allowed to have Church's Chicken over there. I always thought this was interesting. The franchise Church's Chicken, if it's in Dubai, has to be called Texas chicken because they don't want you to connotate it. They don't want the religious issue. So they'll call it Texas chicken over there. But all of a sudden you're getting Texas chicken and it's banging shawarma. I mean, it was. It was some of the best food I've ever had in my life.

[Zach Amico]

That does sound pretty good.

[K.P. Burke]

I won't lie, dude. They. They also, whatever they do in the Middle east to French fries is just better than everywhere else in the world.

[Zach Amico]

Lemon.

[K.P. Burke]

And at one time I think we did.

[Zach Amico]

Is it a little like lemon and basil mix? Like Greek fries.

[K.P. Burke]

They do a little bit of a Greek thing, and then I think they double fry them to. I mean, there's so much oil over there.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

You know, they're just.

[Zach Amico]

They don't know what to do with it. All right, we can keep moving. This is fun. I don't know if you guys saw this. Liam Neeson and Pam Anderson figuring things out along the way in their budding romance.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, wow.

[K.P. Burke]

Good for him, dude.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, he just started Naked Gun.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they're there.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, she's in that till.

[Zach Amico]

She's in a till.

[Chloe LeBron]

Stupid.

[Zach Amico]

And they've been promoting it together, and apparently they're dating. Which I will say a. I am not the person who's like, she's so brave. She doesn't wear makeup anymore. But I will say aged gracefully. Looks like a woman. Her Age and is nailing it.

[Chloe LeBron]

She seems like a polar opposite than his ex wife. The one who died.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. She's alive.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, that one. That one.

[Zach Amico]

Alive.

[Chloe LeBron]

In a good skin.

[K.P. Burke]

Like, wasn't he banging Helen Mirren too, for a while?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. I know.

[Chloe LeBron]

I love that for him.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah. Oh, he's got a thing.

[Zach Amico]

We've. We've talked about Liam Neeson quite a bit on the show.

[Chloe LeBron]

I love that.

[Zach Amico]

Notorious Coxman, huh? I mean, monster Dong in her book. Who the fuck's the lady? She was in the original Drag Race. Who were the judge? It was RuPaul, God damn it. She's a real famous. Janice Dickinson.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yes. She was the original supermodel. She loves reality tv. She's batshit.

[K.P. Burke]

The first Cosby victim too, right?

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, I love that for her. She always did seem sleepy.

[Zach Amico]

She's a trailblazer.

[Chloe LeBron]

She is.

[Zach Amico]

And she said in her book that Liam Neeson's cock is the size of a large Evian bottle.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, my God. It's my favorite water.

[Zach Amico]

If you want to look up, it is now. And if you want to look up. Liam Neeson. Dick Peck. We've looked at it before. I think this makes perfect sense because I think like a reverse sword in the stone. Pam Anderson finally found the man that's hitting the back that Tommy Lee used to.

[K.P. Burke]

It's all the. All the girth of Tommy Lee with none of the physical violence.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Or the herpes.

[Shannon]

I found some bulge pictures.

[Chloe LeBron]

Did she have herpes, too?

[K.P. Burke]

I think she had a. Pam has hep C, I think.

[Chloe LeBron]

But that's curable now.

[K.P. Burke]

Is it really?

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

Twice now you've given me medical things.

[Zach Amico]

Which I'm worried for.

[K.P. Burke]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

Whoa, There it is.

[Chloe LeBron]

You think that's a dick or a phone?

[Zach Amico]

That's pretty deep into the pocket to be a phone. Keep it moving.

[K.P. Burke]

He has a particular set of skills.

[Zach Amico]

We'll go to that top left of him in the sweatpants.

[Chloe LeBron]

We love a man in gray sweats.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Chloe LeBron]

That's definitely not his dick.

[Zach Amico]

Come on, Neeson.

[Chloe LeBron]

That's his hand.

[Shannon]

These little other ones suck, dude.

[Zach Amico]

There was one.

[Chloe LeBron]

He's not starting to think. He doesn't even have a penis.

[Zach Amico]

No, he's naked in a movie. He hangs dong that. There it is.

[Chloe LeBron]

That's crazy.

[K.P. Burke]

And he's Irish, so you know it's gonna be uncut and weird looking.

[Zach Amico]

Did he just. He has a nude scene in something, doesn't he? What is he? He's like full frontal and something.

[K.P. Burke]

I don't know. Helen Mirren was. They were both in Excalibur. That's why I knew they used to bang. But Helen Mirren, straight up naked in a lot of that movie.

[Zach Amico]

And she in Caligula, too.

[K.P. Burke]

That I don't know. But her in Excalibur. When I was in seventh grade and my aunt got me that movie for my birthday. That was. That was.

[Zach Amico]

You were tugging a sword out of stone, too.

[K.P. Burke]

100%, sir. I was. We were given a little bit of a Merlin spin on a couple of things.

[Chloe LeBron]

Do you. I thought he was a random cast for Naked Gun because I watched the previews, some of the previews, and I was like, he's not funny. He's more. I love Liam Neeson, so I think.

[Zach Amico]

He'S a great pick because the point of that character is to play it dead serious in the face of everyone else being silly.

[Chloe LeBron]

But Leslie Nielsen, so funny.

[Zach Amico]

No, I agree, but he never. He doesn't mug or like. He's not Jim Carrey. He's a serious actor who's great at reacting to comedy. So I think Lee and he had just done whatchamacallit, the TED movies. So maybe. And then Seth McFarland produced this. So he was like. Well, he was great in that. Maybe he'll be good in a full length. And I heard it's really funny.

[Shannon]

I started a little bit here.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, that's big.

[K.P. Burke]

Right on. Good for you, buddy.

[Zach Amico]

Well, now, Pam Anderson, God bless her. Lord love a duck. Shannon, is there anything more to that article or. They're just. They're trying it out.

[Shannon]

Yeah, it seems like they're trying it out. One source said that Pam was, like, kind of in town before they even started filming. And then she's, like, brought him, like, cookies and stuff to his dressing room. She's had him over for dinner.

[Chloe LeBron]

So wholesome.

[Zach Amico]

Very good.

[Chloe LeBron]

She feeds his dick. It's very good. What was I gonna say? I started.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't even look at the Naked Gun poster with Liam Neeson. It's definitely a big dick joke.

[Chloe LeBron]

You watches the old show that the cops, or what was it called? The one that naked Guns based off of.

[Zach Amico]

Not this one. Oh, Police Squad.

[Chloe LeBron]

That's so fucking funny.

[Zach Amico]

I just look at the one, Shannon, where it's his leg spread. It's. His feet are on either side of the poster and like a Van Damme kind of pose.

[K.P. Burke]

I like it to what Chloe was saying before, too, Leslie Nielsen, that. The thing you were saying too, why he was perfect was. Oh, there it is. I see it. Leslie Nielsen was a failed B movie actor. Yeah, they actually gave him. He had a Disney show where he was playing. Yeah, I'm trying to remember who he was playing. It was. Oh, they. The true life story that they later made the Mel Gibson movie the Patriot about Francis Marion was the guy's name. So he was supposed to be the. Davy Crockett was a huge hit for them. And then they. They made Daniel Boone, but they cast the same actor in that again. And then that was a hit, but eventually both those guys die. So then they're like, all right, what's our next movie? And they went into Francis Marion, the swamp fox, and he's a dead serious actor in that. And then him playing deadpan, like, macho, badass guy, and then just, you know, being able to sell a fart on screen. I don't know. I'd never seen it before.

[Zach Amico]

So he's great in Creepshow. He's the evil dad and creep show.

[K.P. Burke]

Whoa. All right.

[Zach Amico]

He wants cake on Father's Day, but then. Or no, he's. He drowns people. But I got two segments confused. He's in a great movie called Day of the Animals. I believe that's one. And he's a rapist in it. And it's really.

[K.P. Burke]

He's like, is it gonna bother me like Rodney and Natural Born Killers?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, because that. That.

[K.P. Burke]

That upset me.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, can you look up Liam Neeson, Day of the Animals? Am I right on this one? Running a business is hard work. Building your website shouldn't be.

[K.P. Burke]

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[Zach Amico]

To AI from site creation to branded content and images.

[K.P. Burke]

Have fun with the details, customize what.

[Zach Amico]

You want the way you want, and manage your whole business from a centralized.

[K.P. Burke]

Dashboard with expert AI tools.

[Zach Amico]

Build, scale, and enjoy the incredible results. You can do it all yourself on wix.

[Chloe LeBron]

Who's playing OJ Simpson in the new Naked Gun?

[Zach Amico]

Another black guy. They did a great bit in the trailer. Yep, there we go. No, Liam Neeson. No, I said. I meant Leslie. Leslie Nielsen. Yeah.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, similar names.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chloe LeBron]

Is Leslie Nielsen alive?

[Zach Amico]

No, he died at his. Yep, there he is. There he is. And, yeah, he's intense in this Great movie for 1970.

[Chloe LeBron]

I feel like he went gray when he was, like, 13.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[K.P. Burke]

100 Steve Martin path.

[Chloe LeBron]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I've heard Steve Martin's hair is a piece. Oh. And that he's been purposely wearing gray hair for a long time to throw people off.

[K.P. Burke]

He really is cutting edge, isn't he?

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, wow. To wear a gray wig because no one's gonna choose that.

[Zach Amico]

And that apparently he's been bald a long time, and he's chosen the gray. The gray as, like, a state as, like, to throw people off his path.

[K.P. Burke]

It's pretty good. I didn't know Billy Zane was bald for the longest time. I just thought he had great hair and everything.

[Zach Amico]

He did, but Billy Zane?

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah. You ever seen Zoolander?

[K.P. Burke]

I have.

[Chloe LeBron]

Very bald.

[K.P. Burke]

It made me. That was part. Probably part of my awakening to that because prior to that, I just thought he had Titanic hair all the time.

[Zach Amico]

The funniest is, like, when Travolta used to do, like. He'll do like, Good Morning America and then do Oprah that same day and his hair will be longer. Just different hair. And no one questions or. The funniest to me that no one ever talks about is Spade.

[K.P. Burke]

Spade. I remember when he was dating Locklear, they had the same haircut for a while. That was pretty trippy.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Anytime. Think of David Spade in any Adam Sandler universe movie. If they are in the water, he's wearing a ball cap.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, that's so funny.

[K.P. Burke]

No.

[Chloe LeBron]

Well, his toupee comes off in Tommy Boy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. But I think that was making fun of him literally having a real toupee.

[K.P. Burke]

You think he actually is Joe Dirt then? And it's just. It's. It's absorbed into his brain because he had a cranial thing or whatever.

[Zach Amico]

I. I think he actually is completely. Because I remember Brewer said when he went in for snl, he had to have a meeting with hair and makeup, and they said, is your hair real, or are you like Spade?

[Chloe LeBron]

That's funny.

[Zach Amico]

I think he was bald when he was on snl.

[Chloe LeBron]

I know his brother randomly. Really? Randomly. His older brother. And he has a full head of hair.

[Zach Amico]

Could be.

[K.P. Burke]

So right on. Remember Tosh point out the first episode? Yes, he was. He's balding in that. Very clearly balding.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. A ton of fucking. They asked.

[Chloe LeBron]

They get plugs now, though.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

That whole.

[Chloe LeBron]

Looks amazing. You just go to Turkey.

[K.P. Burke]

Turkey again.

[Zach Amico]

Turkey. They'll fly out.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah, I can't. I can't go to Turkey. That's the problem.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

The Armenian beef Zach was talking about.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, but you can't.

[K.P. Burke]

It's. I don't know.

[Chloe LeBron]

No offense, but you don't really look Armenian, so.

[K.P. Burke]

I'm adopted.

[Chloe LeBron]

I know. They never know.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[K.P. Burke]

I'm nothing but Irish, so I think I'll ask you this one. Do I. Is my hair because I get self conscious About.

[Zach Amico]

No, you don't need it.

[Chloe LeBron]

No, your hair looks nice.

[K.P. Burke]

Okay. Thank you. Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I mean, we have friends that have gone.

[K.P. Burke]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, of course we do. I know a lot of people that have gone. Good. Do you think some people. I mean, I think you get what you pay for. I think the people that go to Turkey don't get the same.

[Chloe LeBron]

They don't.

[Zach Amico]

They don't get the same treatment for the men that go to la. I mean, the best. I mean, look at fucking Joe McHale, that one.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, he got it, huh?

[Zach Amico]

Troll McHale was bald when we were kids.

[K.P. Burke]

It. That one threw me off for a loop. I forget who I confused him for. The other day, he was on a podcast clip, and I literally couldn't even recognize Joel McHale. He's like Jack now, too. I remember he's like a skinny, slender guy doing.

[Zach Amico]

He was hunky as fuck on yellow jackets. He plays like a survivalist. Yeah, look at that.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they fixed that boy up.

[Chloe LeBron]

He looks like Bill Hader on the other picture.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah. Or a character.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah. The people who'd go, I know someone who has gone to Turkey and it looks fine. And then I know someone who went to some place on the Upper east side and he was saying how it was way more expensive.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, look at that. Before and after this, the middle one. Wow, that's crazy.

[Chloe LeBron]

He must have gotten it a long time ago.

[Zach Amico]

He said he got it. He's gone three times.

[K.P. Burke]

That's insane. What? Victibateto has it, too. They put ass hair on the front of his forehead now. So he's. That's what he says. He says he's growing his ass hair out. That's how he. Because his change, too. He was way bald.

[Zach Amico]

Can you look up photos from flights back to America from Turkey? People take pictures on the plane and it's just 50 dudes because it looks in bloody durags because you're not supposed to take the bandages off. So they have everybody wearing durags.

[K.P. Burke]

It's not safe in Turkey. Look what they're doing to the men.

[Zach Amico]

It's so fun. It'll just be a plain full of dudes with bleeding heads.

[K.P. Burke]

So funny. We were gonna send Harrington over for that, actually. That was. That's one of my everything. Every week on the show, there's AI.

[Zach Amico]

There we go.

[K.P. Burke]

Turkish hairlines. Come on. That's a good pun.

[Zach Amico]

That's very funny.

[Chloe LeBron]

Turkish hairlines. That one is that.

[K.P. Burke]

Holy shit.

[Zach Amico]

That's so funny, dude. And hey, if it makes you feel better. It makes you feel better. If I could afford it, go for it.

[K.P. Burke]

They all just look like.

[Chloe LeBron]

Look at these guys.

[K.P. Burke]

Who was the rapper on Trailer Park Boys.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

J Rock or whatever. They just all look like him right now. That's upsetting, man. I don't. I'm not connecting enough to my hair to feel like I would need to do that.

[Zach Amico]

But I got my hair thicker than you could be. I use this. It's like castor oil. And two other things. My. The Puerto Rican trick that does my hair calls it hair crack. Right. And it, like, thickens my hair out pretty good.

[K.P. Burke]

I like that. I did do the. What was it? The equestrian stuff that they put on the horse and the horse.

[Zach Amico]

Come on.

[K.P. Burke]

Yes, essentially. Although there was also a Jamaican leaf, something like that that I put on there, and the hair didn't grow back. But my dick is so hard. I'm just walking into shit with it, man.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we got some more stories to get through. WNBA game delayed after a dildo is thrown on the court.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh.

[K.P. Burke]

Is my girl Sophie Cunningham involved in this story?

[Zach Amico]

Let's find out. Are we sure one didn't just fall out?

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, right.

[Shannon]

So I have two different videos. The first one is here. So this is where it gets thrown. It's gonna be like. Like around this area. I'm not gonna have any sound on here. There it goes.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Shannon]

And then we have another. Another angle.

[Chloe LeBron]

I've actually been to many WNBA games.

[Zach Amico]

Have you?

[Chloe LeBron]

Lady Liberty. The Lady Lip. Because one of my friends. Dad's. When we're a little. Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

It's hilarious. Shut up.

[Chloe LeBron]

Her is the company had, like, tickets to sporting events, and nobody wanted to go to the WNBA games in the entire company. So they just give it to him, and he'd, like, take me and my. His daughter and her friends, and we would just go all the time. It was like the. The stadium was, like, empty. It was msg, and no one was go to the games.

[Zach Amico]

That's got to be crazy. Can't they just.

[Chloe LeBron]

They're just, like, in the middle of the day.

[Zach Amico]

Can't they just play somewhere else? Do they need to take msg?

[K.P. Burke]

What's the court over by the cellar? Over by Where? The old McDonald's. Oh, yeah, the west straight running that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

I imagine that you see Angel, Reese, and Sophie Cunningham over there. People would be watching.

[Zach Amico]

I'd watch.

[K.P. Burke]

The same amount of people would be heckling.

[Chloe LeBron]

That'd be funny. They're just, like, shutting down kids.

[Zach Amico]

I would love that. That's the scariest. That was the scariest McDonald's going for a while.

[K.P. Burke]

Did you notice the. The female police officers, the one who picked up the dildo on the court?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, With a towel.

[K.P. Burke]

That's.

[Chloe LeBron]

She, like, puts it in her pocket.

[K.P. Burke]

This isn't going to the evidence locker.

[Chloe LeBron]

I love the choice that it was a green dildo.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Well, I thought it was like a flag on the play. Their version of like a flag on the play.

[K.P. Burke]

Neutral colors.

[Zach Amico]

I don't. I mean, come on. That's just funny.

[Chloe LeBron]

I think that's great.

[K.P. Burke]

Did you see the Gatorade?

[Zach Amico]

It's more that he had to get a dildo in there. And if that's msg. Is that msg, Shannon?

[Chloe LeBron]

No, because the court.

[K.P. Burke]

It was Liam Neeson. He. He snuck it in inside of his pants.

[Shannon]

No, it's Gateway center in College Park, Georgia.

[Zach Amico]

I'd imagine somebody had a search. That guy. Whoever threw it got searched. So they were going, I hope they don't find the dildo.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

Did you. Did you see that Gatorade ad for the wnba?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[K.P. Burke]

It was. I can't tell if it's real because we're in a post reality world thing, but it was a bunch of the stars of the wnba, like the more well known names. And obviously they would say in sports, it's like let him cook kind of thing. He literally said, let her cook on there. So it's like they clearly missed the possible cross streaming of messages on that. And it's like, so you have all the stars of the WNBA and you're just underneath. Let her cook. Just get back to the kitchen. Your shit's not working. It was as awful of advertising as I've ever seen.

[Zach Amico]

Ever.

[Chloe LeBron]

Did they catch the person who threw the dildo?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know, Shannon.

[Shannon]

They. They didn't. It just. But they resumed the game when they got it off the field. The field? The court.

[Zach Amico]

And now they had something to compete for. That's. I should have that instead of like a cup.

[K.P. Burke]

It's like All Star Weekend. Do something like that.

[Zach Amico]

What do you have, Shannon?

[Shannon]

I found the commercial if you want to see it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

One second. I sent it to Jorge.

[Zach Amico]

Don't panic. Everything's fine.

[Shannon]

I don't know why the whole sound.

[Chloe LeBron]

Thing is such a. Lewis isn't here to yell.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's okay. They're all here.

[Chloe LeBron]

You gave me such a nice intro. I was like, oh, my God, this is so nice going. Be pretty.

[K.P. Burke]

You feel safer without him? I. I like him a lot, but.

[Zach Amico]

I'm also, this is a different vibe. There's nothing wrong with what it was. It was very happy to be a.

[Chloe LeBron]

Part of it all the time. I loved it.

[Zach Amico]

It was a lot of fun. Just a different thing now.

[Chloe LeBron]

I used to watch the Z Morning Zoo. I listened to it every morning on the way to school.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, that was the whole. That I wanted people to have that.

[Chloe LeBron]

And it was so weird when you finally saw it. When I finally saw pictures of the people. Like, that's not what they look like.

[K.P. Burke]

Oh, Elvis Durant.

[Chloe LeBron]

Elvis Durant. And then Danielle.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I remember. I to this day would be starstruck to meet Goomba Johnny, who was the.

[Chloe LeBron]

Other crazy guy that they always would talk to. Leonard was always make fun of somebody on it.

[Zach Amico]

I was a KTU family. Z100 was a little. It was to my family. Yes.

[Chloe LeBron]

Because I listened to it every morning.

[Zach Amico]

That was a little. That was a little contemporary for we were KTU people.

[Chloe LeBron]

It's funny because I hit of the.

[Zach Amico]

80S, 90s, and today without all that ramp. I love that stage. Used to say without all the rap.

[K.P. Burke]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

There was just such a. It was such. Not coded.

[K.P. Burke]

Calling it contemporary got me, though. I was like, what does he mean? It's like the references or two. Okay, never mind. Clicked. Just clicked in here.

[Zach Amico]

Get out of the pool.

[K.P. Burke]

Oh, it's a full commercial. I just saw that.

[Chloe LeBron]

Here. W's aren't given.

[K.P. Burke]

Gotta earn it.

[Chloe LeBron]

By losing. Losing sweat.

[K.P. Burke]

Putting up shots till you lose track of time.

[Chloe LeBron]

Losing count of how many days we've.

[K.P. Burke]

Worked for this.

[Chloe LeBron]

Sweat for this.

[Zach Amico]

All those L's. We didn't just get W song.

[Chloe LeBron]

We made the W so funny. Let her cook. Imagine your life's dream is something that literally nobody cares about.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yes. I'm doing it right now. Yes.

[Chloe LeBron]

Say to be in the wnba, you're.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I'm sitting here right now talking to no one.

[Chloe LeBron]

It's more work for them. They can't even do drugs.

[K.P. Burke]

Also true.

[Zach Amico]

That was a terrible, terrible commercial.

[K.P. Burke]

How you could let the fact that the song was rapping. Let her cook too. Was like, all right. There's multiple people on this. Nobody had the. The forethought to just say, like, hey, let's maybe reel it back a little.

[Zach Amico]

Let her cook. Let her cook. Oh, my God. There's teeth in it. Let her cook. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's a whole ass tooth in it.

[Chloe LeBron]

There's a dildo on the court. Let her cook.

[Zach Amico]

In my bowl of meat. Let her cook. Who cooked this? Who Cooked this. There's a jawbone in my bowl of meat. Who cooked this?

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, that lady. Am I a cannibal?

[Zach Amico]

Then she went, a carnival or whatever it is.

[Chloe LeBron]

I don't know the word.

[Zach Amico]

Am I carnivorous? Am I carcinogen? Am I a carcinogen?

[Chloe LeBron]

Am I a cannibal?

[Zach Amico]

Am I.

[K.P. Burke]

One of my favorite word substitutions I.

[Zach Amico]

Ever heard was, am I the connoisseur? Roger Gorman's favorite famous Jurassic park ripoff movie.

[K.P. Burke]

One of the great word substitutions I ever heard was a black dude I worked with. He was. He was trying to talk to me. He goes. He goes, you gotta understand with women, man, they know stuff we don't. It's a mother's inhibition.

[Zach Amico]

You understand?

[K.P. Burke]

I was like, all right. I feel like I'm getting wisdom, but I don't know how to apply that.

[Zach Amico]

Mother's inhibition.

[K.P. Burke]

It's a mother's inhibition. That's really what they got.

[Zach Amico]

It was a few weeks ago, we were watching. It was at ucb. They had a Juneteenth show at this shit.

[K.P. Burke]

We talked about this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, this black lady fucking flipped out because they did a sketch.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, I heard about this. With the noose.

[Zach Amico]

Was really funny.

[Chloe LeBron]

I didn't see it, though.

[Zach Amico]

So it was a white girl throwing a Juneteenth party, and her being like, I got chicken wings. And all the black people would be like, is that what you think we like? And then them being like, she actually really nailed it. This is all really good. She goes, and I got a pinata. And she goes and gets it. And it's a black guy on a deuce.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

And then it cuts with everyone being like, huh? And this lady just starts screaming about how offended she is. And of course they have to have a fucking conversation with her and not just fucking beat the shit out of her and throw out the door like she should have been for interrupting a fucking show, you fucking selfish cunt. But she's like, and y' all got. Y'. All. Y' all got a lasso around a black man. And they're like, what? You're done with the rope? The lasso? And no one wanted to be like, it's a noose, dummy.

[K.P. Burke]

Actually, when we used to do. That's not imply guilt. The.

[Chloe LeBron]

They're opening. I saw an article that came out about UCB opening in Austin, and they're like, we are here. We are to take down or take back the comedy landscape from. From Rogan. The like, we are. They're, like, going to show the mothership it's like, okay, yeah, yeah, sure.

[Zach Amico]

You mean the place that pays people. Yeah, I'm sure the people. The place that pays comics better than any other club in the history of comedy. Ucp, with your fucking indentured servitude bullshit.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, you're going to. Yes. And your way.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. The place that charges people to sweet popcorn because they're in a program to learn how to fucking do the sillies. It was fucking suck my dick.

[K.P. Burke]

Low overhead. They had a big legal department. The. I did one show at the old UCB here and it was.

[Zach Amico]

I remember this one or the one by here. UC Beast.

[K.P. Burke]

I think it was east.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[K.P. Burke]

So I remember going over there and what it was is that I went there to do stand up and then they told me, they're like, all right, so it's three comics doing stand up. And then the three comics have to do an improv scene. But then one of the improv guys that's going up before you, he's gonna. It was like a swapping, so whatever, we'll do it. And I went up there, it was fine. I thought the swastika. 100%. So I loved the gimmick. I thought it was great. Their sound is amazing there. That stage was really cool. They had a lot of cool production stuff. And then I have to do a scene. And I remember told about improv at this point was always like, oh, it's a little. It's a little swishy. It's a little. It's a weird thing. Thank you. Thank you.

[Chloe LeBron]

I live in Austin, so.

[K.P. Burke]

Right on. That's. It's. I'll put it to you this way. I'm blue collar guy. I think I was working as a plumber at the time. And so the idea that I was on stage and they're like, all right, now you're going to do improv. And here's your partner, a adamant feminist whose entire set was just about how white men are evil and they haven't been good since World War II. And the other one is a 6 foot 4 male to female trans person. And so you're sitting here like, all right, I don't want to say anything to either of these people. So I just. Yes. And my way through the entire set. But that was my only experience with improv was me on stage with a trans person. And then a devout fan, I would say born again, you know, Taliban level feminine.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you're like a fourth wave.

[K.P. Burke]

That's 100. Like, whatever they're doing now wasn't Radical enough for her?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chloe LeBron]

I got kicked out of ucb. I. Before I started Stand up, I took an improv class at UCB and I made it to like the second level. And then you'd get a 30 minute break in between the classes and there's like some bar across the street. So I'd just go to the bar and get, like, up. And I got kicked out for being drunk in class because I. And I was like, you know, you're supposed to always say yes and everything. And I would just be like, no. And. And they'd be like, chloe, you need to. Yes. And I'm like, why would I enable someone who's not being funny? I'm not doing it. And then they're like, are you drunk? And I was like, yes. And yes.

[Zach Amico]

And.

[Chloe LeBron]

And what. What are you going to do about it? They're like, you can't come back here anymore. So I was like. Then a girl, my glass, like, came and found me. She's like, you should try stand up.

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, okay, you could be drunk there.

[Chloe LeBron]

You couldn't be drunk there.

[Zach Amico]

We will. They were more than happy to get you drunk for stamp.

[K.P. Burke]

In fact, that's how you get paid your first couple of gigs, if you're lucky.

[Chloe LeBron]

So I went and I did Rick Chrome's class at the Cellar. You know Rick?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chloe LeBron]

And I had no idea he was gay until the way end.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, you were hammered.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, the whole time. And everyone's got fucking hair on me. Someone was like, oh, yeah, Rick is hilarious. He's that gay guy. I was like, he's gay. He's been gay this whole time. They're like, yes. Pretty obvious.

[K.P. Burke]

The first male comic not to hit on you. And you're like, I wonder why. I'll figure it out.

[Zach Amico]

This guy wants my pussy. Yeah, to calm it down. Chrome, right? Did you see Shannon? I know I said it wasn't for the show, but you see the girl comic that's trying to cancel a trans comic for raping her? Oh, whoa. I don't want to use names, Shannon, but can you bring up the thing I sent you?

[Chloe LeBron]

Can we talk about it after the show?

[Shannon]

Wait, I'm. I don't. Where. Where did you.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, I think I sent it to you on Instagram.

[Shannon]

Okay, let me check.

[K.P. Burke]

This is.

[Zach Amico]

Could be a tweet.

[K.P. Burke]

This is a 2024 type bingo card thing. I know it's a year so head, but the.

[Zach Amico]

It's a girl comic. I want to say she's an improv and she Talks about how when she was in college, her and two other girls brought a at the time guy.

[K.P. Burke]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

In front of like a college tribunal and he admitted that they were passed out.

[Shannon]

I found it. Do you want me to read it without the name?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Not the whole thing. This is like five.

[Chloe LeBron]

He was like. It was a sleepover party.

[Zach Amico]

It was like five slides.

[K.P. Burke]

Justice.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Chloe LeBron]

Hello.

[Shannon]

Unfortunately, this is long. My name is blank. I am a Los Angeles based stand up comedian. I have been pursuing comedy for close to a decade now. Now I'm a paid regular at the Comedy Store and have traveled all over the world for stand up. Stand up comedy is my life. It has been my life since I first started stand up in high school. In college, I started an open mic on campus and was an improv team for four years. While getting my degree, I worked at Black. Should I skip that part?

[Zach Amico]

Get to the right.

[Shannon]

Okay. Please understand that I have gone through every option before reaching this conclusion that I would have to speak out publicly against the person who raped me in college. Every system has failed me. The police had told me that cases like these just fall to the back because of lack of physical evidence. I did not file anything. And trust me, it doesn't matter what the police say. File it. Always file it. In 2015, I and two other women came forward about our experience of sexual assault. With this student, I had to do a courtroom style explanation in front of him, a quote unquote judge, three random professors, and my advocate, a professor chosen by me to sit with me. I had been doing everything I could to gather all the written evidence. I needed the text, threads and more. I. I knew that it would be difficult to get him kicked out, but I was hoping I would have enough to get a no contact order. And then, like an idiot, he admitted what he did to me. What should have been the end of this nightmare quickly became the beginning when he was found, quote, not guilty on lack of physical evidence. They said it was a he said, she said situation. Except he also said he was stone cold sober and did what? He did it while I was drunk and passed out. When I reason reasonably lost my mind finding this out, I said, well, of course you recorded everything set in the room. And they, of course, did not. I decided to appeal their verdict. I found out that my appeal was overruled in an email while I was in class. What an insanely insensitive way to tell a student that they will continue to be around the person who assaulted them for another year. I had to beg the school to give Me, A no contact order. It was hell. It was humiliating. My anxiety was through the roof. I lost a shit ton of weight, and I was a shell of myself.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah, rape is the original Ozempic.

[Shannon]

I was making reckless decisions because at the end of the day, no one cares. I'm happy to say that I became whole again. It took years of therapy, self reflection, and finding love in the right people that brought me to who I am today. Blah, blah, blah. Let's see. 2016, I moved to California from Texas and heard rumors of more horrific behavior from this person. I did what I could, but I was grateful to be away from this guy. 2021, I found out this person decided to start doing comedy and that they had transitioned into a woman. I don't have a lot of rules, but you can't rape women then become a woman. I want to say this before I continue transgender people.

[Zach Amico]

Whose rule is that, though?

[Chloe LeBron]

I don't have a lot of rules.

[K.P. Burke]

Tricky.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, listen, pal, I'm gonna draw the line.

[K.P. Burke]

Listen, Aunt Mary Pat, I've had about enough of your.

[Shannon]

It says.

[Chloe LeBron]

Sorry.

[Shannon]

There you go.

[Chloe LeBron]

No, I was just gonna say I love how in the article, she was like. Like an idiot. He came forward.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Shannon]

She said, In 2023, I went to New York for a Saturday Night Live audition. This was huge and certainly an opportunity that presented itself due to the industry that had seen me at a recent large festival. I went down to check the lineup and was immediately brought back down to hell when I saw that they would be auditioning as well. The sound tech took me to a safe place away from the green room. I called my manager, and he got me out of the audition. I went to my hotel before this person could even see me. I'm just going to say, thank God I got there first, or else I would have been really. Or else I would have been yelling rapist. At an SNL audition.

[Zach Amico]

She would have got the show.

[Chloe LeBron]

I would have done that.

[Zach Amico]

That would have been your audition.

[Chloe LeBron]

I just did a peacock audition. I was yelling rapist the whole time.

[Zach Amico]

That means she went to the zoo. Chloe was hammered. Just yelling rapist at a peacock.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah. Who do you think you are?

[Zach Amico]

You're purple and you're teal.

[Chloe LeBron]

The rape was okay, but when you became a woman.

[Zach Amico]

I am haunted by these three notes. Bing, bong, bing.

[Chloe LeBron]

I hear it again.

[Shannon]

She says that in 2020. She says this. This year, the same popular festival that I had been a part of in 2023 had booked this person for the first time. This information was not announced. To the public yet. But I. But because I had many friends at the festival, I was able to see who was going to be there. After talking to many friends of my comedian friends, they insisted that I call the bookers of the festival. I was not hopeful. I knew that they would say there's nothing they could do. I know how this plays out in the headline from Huffington Post that says festival boots trans comedian doesn't have a nice ring to it. Nonetheless, I spoke to some executives of the festival, some lawyers because I was concerned for my community. I know this festival. Everyone gets hammered and stays in the same hotel. That doesn't exactly seem like a good place to have somebody with multiple seats. Sexual assault allegations. They decided this person would stay on the festival because this person has a different side to the story or I guess to all three stories. Just a reminder, three of us came forward.

[Chloe LeBron]

Write a joke, lady.

[Shannon]

The festival tried to provide me with as much support as they could over the phone. I do not know the legality behind pulling someone from this event. So I understand if they found themselves between a rock and a hard place. That being said, Shane Gillis was pulled from Saturday Night Live after his employment. Blah blah, blah, blah blah. I don't know how much more you.

[Chloe LeBron]

Want me to do.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's so yeah. She's saying Shane G lost us an L for saying chink. But this person got to audition after having multiple rape charges and that's their woman. Now I just suggested who I thought it might be cuz that's the only. How many.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh wait, so you think that's the person who is the trans or the.

[Zach Amico]

I would think so.

[Chloe LeBron]

Who's the. I don't know who the accuser is.

[Zach Amico]

We can do that after the show.

[Chloe LeBron]

Okay. I don't want to find out the hard way.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know a lot of. I don't know a lot of how many L A Trans comics are there especially they would get an SNL audition.

[K.P. Burke]

There was. There's only. I'll be honest, I think there's only two trans comics that I know personally. And I don't think either of them would ever reach whatever level that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

No matter what. Easy, you know, handicap accessible.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

Route to success was made available to them. I don't think either of them would be, you know, swimming in those waters. But I do wonder if you're. If you're going to be a trans man to woman on SNL and then you have to play a male character. Like I always wonder how that one. I wondered like The Elliot. The Elliot Page thing tripped me.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

Like. All right, so you're going to play.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, what can you play? Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

What are you allowed to play now?

[Zach Amico]

Are you not allowed to play a woman for laughs or whatever that.

[K.P. Burke]

See, that's the Dylan Mulvaney complex.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I mean. Yeah. I mean. I mean, I guess. Fuck it. Bowen Yang. It's just plays everything as a screaming gay Asian. What if. What if an iceberg was screaming a fucking faggot Asian. What if JD Vance was an Asian faggot? What if this rock. What if this tree was also a fucking smarmy Asian faggot?

[K.P. Burke]

If they could get him to play emperor like Yamamoto in a World War II sketch as that, I would that.

[Zach Amico]

Just be funny in a goddamn thing. He stinks.

[Chloe LeBron]

Did you see that the girl Chloe Feynman on who was the SNL videos of her crying about Elon Musk making fun of her sketch.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chloe LeBron]

She's like, I'm finally going to be brave and come forward and say, this man said my sketch wasn't funny. It's like so brave, heroic.

[Zach Amico]

There's no. Well, don't they say you're not supposed to dress as a woman for laughs anymore? Like, kids nowadays are like anti. Like kids in the hall or like Monty Python because they feel like it's making fun of trans people to laugh at an ugly guy in a dress.

[K.P. Burke]

They used to do that to what was. I remember that the big one on SNL was they made Jeter play his own girlfriend.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

And a sketch. It's one of the funniest sketches they ever did. You know how many it's. Pat was literally a legendary snl.

[Zach Amico]

Will Ferrell is the attorney general.

[K.P. Burke]

Oh, Janarino. Jana Reno's dance party.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Janet Reno's day. And then she did it.

[K.P. Burke]

Yep. Dude, that. That was epic too, man. That's. I don't know people.

[Zach Amico]

John Goodman as Linda Tripp. That is the funniest scene in the People versus OJ on the. The FX series. It's Linda Tripp watching, eating ice cream and smoking in the house watching snl. And she sees John Goodman is her because she's got the meanest back. Her high school nickname was Gus because there was a like a linebacker on whatever her local sports like her. Her state's team and she looked like him. So they just all started calling the trip Gus in high school. Is there a meaner nickname to call a wide gal than whatever the name of your local like football legend is? Hey, Gus is here. And I say that knowing that there was a girl we called Buffalo. And when I say we call Buffalo, I mean yelled it out the car. Anytime you saw her walking around, people go, buffalo.

[Chloe LeBron]

I mean, if you saw Buffalo at an SNL audition, you would just be yelling, Buffalo.

[K.P. Burke]

That would. How could that not be a Will Ferrell character? It's got the Emilio cadence from Jesus. The Paradox. It's a paradox.

[Zach Amico]

What's the mean. I mean, the meanest nickname anybody had in my school was we had a friend named Fat Crap.

[K.P. Burke]

Fat Crap's a good one.

[Zach Amico]

And it wasn't me.

[K.P. Burke]

You know, we know. The one story I had was the kid who. We used to call him Jafar because he was. He was Persian. He would always correct you. Oh, yeah, he's from Iran. I'm Persian. Right? He would correct you all the time. He was from Texas. He was like a mega. He would wear his underpants outside of his clothes, and he had a shirt that he would write on. You were not a slave. He was, like, the first anarchist that we knew, and. But he was crazy. He was, like, rebelling against the US Government from seventh grade. So his nickname was Jafar for the longest time. And then. Because at first they were calling him Aladdin, and he goes, well, if you think about it, Aladdin was actually pretty cool, because then he gets the girl and he takes over, and someone was like, immediately goes, oh, yeah, you're more of a Jafar. I just nailed him with it. And, you know, you think these insults mean nothing, and you think that we're just kids being kids, but then he murdered two women in Houston, Texas, so what are you gonna do about it? Right?

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, wow, that's. And you know him.

[K.P. Burke]

He offed himself shortly after.

[Chloe LeBron]

Jesus Christ.

[K.P. Burke]

Little impromptu high school reunion when we all got together. Hey, did you see the news today?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

Look, he still got that same BMW that he kept telling us was his, but it had all his mom shit in it. It's weird.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh, my God. The meanest nickname. It's not even mean. I can't. The one I can think of is. We called this girl in my high school Ski poles. She gave, like, two guys hand jobs.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Chloe LeBron]

Same time at a party.

[Zach Amico]

That's nice.

[K.P. Burke]

That's Finger cuffs level. Good.

[Zach Amico]

That's a good woman, though.

[Chloe LeBron]

I haven't just called her Ski poles for, like, the next 43 years.

[Zach Amico]

That's pretty sweet. Dude, we had a retarded girl we called Pointy Brown.

[Chloe LeBron]

Why Pointy Brown?

[Zach Amico]

I was gonna get to it.

[Chloe LeBron]

Okay, Sorry.

[K.P. Burke]

I know why. I feel like I know why?

[Zach Amico]

No you don't.

[K.P. Burke]

Okay. I'm so happy that.

[Zach Amico]

But I'm glad I like. Why? It was because we were maybe in seventh or eighth grade, we were in middle school or late grammar school and we were doing some art project and she had crayons and we were definitely too old to have crayons. And she like was collecting her crayons and somebody I guess took one and she just screamed in the middle of the classroom, where's my Pointy Brown? And so we called her Pointy Brown through high school.

[K.P. Burke]

Way more innocent than what I thought.

[Zach Amico]

What did you think?

[K.P. Burke]

Nipples?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no.

[Chloe LeBron]

Oh God.

[K.P. Burke]

There was a girl that. It wasn't her nickname or anything, but a guy used to refer to as oh yeah. So and so with her little Easty Westies. That always made me laugh because it.

[Zach Amico]

Was yeah, yeah, Pointy Brown. And then Fat Crab. Fat Crab's mom came in one day looking for him. And she said, if you guys see Bill. And we're like, who the fuck's Bill? And she goes, fat Crap. And we're like, oh, you're Fat Crap? She goes, yeah, I'm Fat Crap's mom.

[K.P. Burke]

So he, he ran with it. He ran with the nickname.

[Zach Amico]

He was, yeah, he, he was always Fat Crap.

[K.P. Burke]

That were.

[Zach Amico]

Is there anybody else who was Pointy Brown? Fat Crap? I don't think there was many. Whatever people called me behind my back.

[Chloe LeBron]

There was one girl in my middle school, probably in like fifth grade, Truck Face.

[K.P. Burke]

Truck Face.

[Zach Amico]

Truck Face was a Puerto Rican girl from Jersey City.

[Chloe LeBron]

There was this girl and she was Cuban actually. And so she had like kind of a mustache in like fifth grade. And the boys were so mean to her. They would always be like, tina's a beast. And then they would, like, when she'd walk in a room they go, beast. And they'd always go, put a frickin bell on her. Why is Tina off her leash?

[Zach Amico]

That's brutal.

[Chloe LeBron]

And like, she was like, it's not okay. And the teachers, like one of the teachers, they didn't like know what to do. Went on for years.

[K.P. Burke]

The leash one got me put a.

[Chloe LeBron]

Freaking bell on her.

[Zach Amico]

The funny thing is you can't even then go and try and fuck that girl because she knows you're just trying to pick up on a weak one.

[Chloe LeBron]

This is like fifth grade hot.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah, there was a couple. There was. Because I remember the girls were always meaner. I found that was my experience. It was all the girls called. There was one girl that developed very early, like seventh, eighth grade. She had Like, a ridiculous thing going. And we're also in seventh and eighth grade, so we noticed. And then they started a rumor that when you change next door in the locker room, that you could smell fish. And so the girls would all call her fish. But none of the guys were deterred by that. They're like, all right, I'm going fishing.

[Zach Amico]

Yep, absolutely. Girls were. Girls are way meaner than dudes. Deep down, I think girls are way meaner than dude. Dudes will forgive you. After a bro day out, girls will have a girls day and then go back and talk shit.

[Chloe LeBron]

Girls still do this. And I'm in my 30s. It's just. I know you guys are like, what is she, 21? But. But, yeah, girls are still evil. They, like. It's crazy that everyone's. The girls are still, like, coming for each other.

[Zach Amico]

And black teenagers. Black teenagers. And girls are the two meanest, because black teenagers will.

[Chloe LeBron]

Teenagers are scary.

[Zach Amico]

Will hurt my feelings.

[Chloe LeBron]

Yeah.

[K.P. Burke]

It's there because they.

[Zach Amico]

I become 11 years old again when I see a group of teenagers. I'm like, I hope they're not mean to me.

[Chloe LeBron]

You go. You walk the long way home.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All those kids. Those kids look like trouble.

[K.P. Burke]

It's what they say. If you want to know. If you want to know what you really look like, have a child draw you. Oh, that one before.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I would hate that.

[K.P. Burke]

Yeah, It's.

[Zach Amico]

I don't have an artist draw me.

[K.P. Burke]

That's that. And then if you want to know if you're. What, like, I remember I had a pair of red, like, puma suede sneakers or whatever. I just remember, like, a black, like, clearly homeless guy. When I was walking back from one of the spots one night, he just sits there. I turn the corner. I'm nervous as hell. I'm scared to be in the city. I still get scared coming into the city. I'm always prepared for that encounter. I turn the corner, the guy's like, six feet tall and goes. He goes, nice shoes, player. And just move. I was like, thank you. Thank you, sir. I'm moving on. You just made my day. Thank you, everyone. Everyone back in Passaic county tells me to throw these shoes out because I look like. Like one. Oh, no. You know.

[Zach Amico]

I had an old homeless guy that always used to eat and speak English well, but he always look at me go. He's no Halloween. All right, we're gonna call it there. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you so much for my guests, K.P. burke and the wonderful, delightful Chloe Le Brunch. If you love the show go to gas digital.com use the promo code Zoo. You save a little bit of money. You get episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the archives thousands of episodes of your favorite guest digital shows, the live chat and Friday exclusive episodes. If you want to watch those Friday shows, you got to be subscribed to the network promo code Zoo. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Everybody shout out to everybody in the chat right now. I love you guys very much. And hey, we'll see you this Friday here on Gas Digital in the morning Zoo. Bye bye. Noon is morning time to him Papa Mako. Chug it down just like your favorite Obi's clown. Grab a cold bed and join the crew. It's a Miko morning too. It's acome.

[Shannon]

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[K.P. Burke]

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