0035. Jacob Williams and Doug Uram

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo - Episode 0035: Jacob Williams and Doug Uram
Release Date: August 15, 2025
Host: GaS Digital Network

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Introduction and Guest Welcome (00:01 - 02:00)

Zac Amico kicks off the episode with his characteristic high energy, welcoming listeners to another edition of Morning Zoo. He introduces his guests, Doug Uram and Jacob Williams, highlighting their comedic talents and camaraderie.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (00:50): "Here we fucking go. It's a Monday, it's a Monday. Fun day. Making a pun day. It's gonna be a great day."
• Zac Amico (02:07): "I'm glad you guys are here, and we'll see you on Wednesday here on the Morning Zoo."

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Promotional Segments and Social Media Plug (02:00 - 05:11)

The conversation shifts to promoting various projects and social media platforms of the guests. Jacob Williams discusses his comedy special, upcoming OnlyFans page focused on comedy, and interactions with fans.

Notable Quotes:

• Jacob Williams (02:21): "I have a one-hour comedy special on YouTube called Unemotional Rollercoaster."
• Zac Amico (03:35): "If you love the show, go to gasdigital.com use the promo code ZOO."

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Discussion on Gina Carano and Conspiracy Theories (05:09 - 07:19)

Zac and his guests delve into the recent settlement between Disney and Gina Carano, expressing relief and support for her. The conversation evolves into a broader discussion about how personal experiences, such as concussions, might influence susceptibility to conspiracy theories.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (05:10): "Finally some justice for Gina."
• Zac Amico (06:09): "There is a very distinct connection between right-wing conspiracy pipelines and people who have been getting knocked in the head."

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Satirical Commentary on Political and Celebrity Scandals (07:20 - 14:41)

The hosts engage in satirical discussions about the consequences of celebrity actions, comparing Gina Carano's situation with other public figures like Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Fallon. They critique the double standards in how different personalities are treated regarding personal scandals.

Notable Quotes:

• Shannon (07:19): "The left also seems to have a problem with hot women with opinions."
• Zac Amico (14:41): "I don't know what to say. He's got things to worry about."

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Interlude: Product Advertisements (Various Timestamps)

Throughout the episode, Zac incorporates promotional segments for products such as Huel, small batch cigars, and Kratom, offering exclusive discount codes to listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (05:09): "Today's episode is brought to you by our good friends at smallbatchcigar.com."
• Zac Amico (56:46): "Today's episode is brought to you by our good friends at yocratum.com."

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Anecdotes on Haunted Houses and Public Scares (17:38 - 55:24)

The conversation takes a humorous turn as the guests share personal experiences with haunted houses and public performances designed to scare attendees. They recount incidents where their performances led to unintended consequences, including panic and misunderstandings with law enforcement.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (43:03): "We were trying to figure out what would be so gross that people at Gas wouldn't eat it."
• Zac Amico (48:28): "Everyone tries to get you. Everybody gets hit so much."

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Fast Food Experiences and Rant on Service (35:34 - 40:17)

Zac shares a detailed and humorous account of a frustrating experience at a Sonic drive-thru, highlighting poor service and order mishaps. The rant underscores the hosts' candid and unfiltered style, resonating with listeners who have faced similar fast-food frustrations.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (38:26): "They never came. We waited for 10 minutes."
• Zac Amico (39:57): "What did you guys order? We can't remember what you ordered."

---

Animal Testing and Rat Control Discussions (62:01 - 73:54)

The guests transition to discussing animal-related topics, including ballistics testing on animals, rat control methods using trained dogs, and personal encounters with pests. They blend informative content with humorous takes on serious subjects.

Notable Quotes:

• Shannon (62:03): "And then, like, a little kid, and he started crying. I felt really bad."
• Zac Amico (66:46): "They look like egg rolls when they look up."

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts (73:54 - End)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on their discussions, share final humorous remarks, and thank their guests Jacob Williams and Doug Uram for their participation. The closing maintains the show's energetic and chaotic vibe, leaving listeners entertained and engaged.

Notable Quotes:

• Zac Amico (74:15): "That's really fun. Hey, we learned something here on the Zoo. A little bit of animal facts."
• Zac Amico (74:50): "Thank you so much for my guests, Jacob Williams and Doug Uram. We'll see you on Wednesday here on the Morning Zoo. Goodbye."

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Episode Highlights

• Celebrity Scandals: Insightful and humorous takes on how public figures deal with personal controversies.
• Haunted House Tales: Entertaining stories from the hosts' experiences with haunted attractions and the unpredictable nature of live performances.
• Fast Food Frustrations: Relatable rants about bad service and order issues at popular fast-food chains.
• Animal Control and Testing: A blend of informative discussion and comedic anecdotes about dealing with pests and understanding animal behavior.

Key Takeaways

• The episode successfully balances humor with topical discussions, making it engaging for listeners who enjoy unfiltered and candid conversations.
• Notable segments include the parody of celebrity scandals, immersive haunted house stories, and the amusing yet relatable fast-food service struggles.
• Promotional segments are seamlessly integrated, providing value to listeners through exclusive discounts and product insights.

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Note: This summary captures the essence and key moments of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo Episode 0035. For the full experience, listening to the episode is recommended to appreciate the hosts' comedic timing and dynamic interactions.

Transcript

[Zach Amico]

Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Doug Uram]

Wake up, it's time to go. Zach. Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play. Jokes and guests, you start your day till the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touc watch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew It's Akamiko morning too.

[Zach Amico]

Wake up.

[Jacob Williams]

Wake up.

[Zach Amico]

Wake up, wake up. Here we fucking go. It's a Monday, it's a Monday. Fun day. Making a pun day. It's gonna be a great day. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zack Amico. And I welcome you to another edition of the Morning Zoo. Hanging out today right before I leave for the gathering of the Juggalos 25th anniversary. The gathering of legends. But you got one more day of me here in New York City. And across the table from me are two excellent gentlemen who I enjoy podcasting with very much. From no offense with Doug Uram. It's our good friend Doug Uram.

[Shannon]

Hi. How are you, buddy?

[Zach Amico]

I'm doing good. How you doing, brother?

[Shannon]

I'm doing great. So happy to be back here.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for being here. I appreciate you very much. You look like your own evil twin.

[Shannon]

I am.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

I could get away with saying more things on stage.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That wasn't Doug. That was Undoug.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I don't know who that was. That's weird. Dropping racial slurs.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you very much for being here. And a man who would never drop a racial slur.

[Jacob Williams]

No.

[Zach Amico]

But I bet he thanks him quite a bit. It is our good friend, very funny, very talented. Jacob Williams. How you doing, bub?

[Jorge]

Good. Yeah. Good to be here. Thanks for having me.

[Zach Amico]

Of course, man. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you guys greatly. Let's knock plugs right out of the way. Hit that plug music. Jorge and Jacob. What do you want people to check out, dog?

[Jorge]

Yes, hello, I'm Jacob Williams and you can find me on social media. Mr. Jacob Williams on Instagram and stuff like that. I also, yeah, I have a one hour comedy special on YouTube called Unemotional Rollercoaster. It's on Spotify and stuff like that. SiriusXM also. Actually I just taped a set for OnlyFans TV so I think that'll be out soon. And in conjunction with that I'm starting an OnlyFans page.

[Zach Amico]

Excellent.

[Jorge]

Which I'm trying to keep comedy focused there. I have had a lot of requests for dick pics and stuff, but Maybe.

[Zach Amico]

Get some feed up there.

[Jorge]

Yeah, maybe I'll throw a feed in there.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. If you do it in a funny way.

[Jorge]

Yeah. Also I do get a bonus if I make a certain amount. So if it gets to the six months and I'm not close to that, I might change all of my rules about that.

[Zach Amico]

Just make it silly. Take pictures of like rubber chickens and.

[Jorge]

Okay, I like that. Yeah, I'm open to any ideas.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. Have fun with it.

[Shannon]

So, yeah, add that fucking twine around your dick that they put on pastry boxes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Do a puppet show with your penis. That's nice, Doug.

[Zach Amico]

What do you want people to check out, dog?

[Shannon]

Check me out on Instagram at theduguram. And when does this come out again?

[Zach Amico]

This is streaming right now and then it will be on out in a couple days.

[Shannon]

Oh, check me out the 22nd. Friday, August 22nd, I'll be at the Hud Post show in West New York, NJ. Come check that out. What else? Met the pair every Thursday. Come check that out there. And follow me on Instagram at the dugu.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic. Hey guys, you want to see me live? Go to Pug shop live. Zachamiko. My Instagram is. Zach is not funny. I got a few dates coming up. I'm gonna be in Thornville, Ohio all week with the gathering with me, Lewis, Big J and Tim Butterly hosting the main stage on Friday. And then I'm going on tour with my good buddy J Wall. We're hitting Nashville, Tennessee on the 28th of August, Pulaski, Tennessee on the 29th, on the 30th when we're in Miamisburg, Ohio and then Lexington, Kentucky on August 30th. First and I got more dates I'll be announcing soon. Hey, and if you love the show, go to gas digital.com use the promo code ZOO Z O O and you get your episodes early ad, free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat, get access to the archives, thousands of episodes of all your favorite Gas Digital podcasts. And most importantly, you get our Friday episode. That's right, we do an exclusive episode every Friday just for subscribers. And the only way to get a hold of that is to subscribe. And if you do subscribe, thank you. If you're thinking about it, thank you. And if you don't, thank you for watching the show. However, you can assume it. All right, gentlemen, it's a great day to be red pilled. Disney settles lawsuit with Gina Carano.

[Shannon]

Beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

Finally.

[Shannon]

That's amazing.

[Zach Amico]

Finally some justice for Gina.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, She's.

[Shannon]

I'm so happy.

[Zach Amico]

One of the. Okay. I loved the Mandalorian when it started.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I was so bummed they wrote her out of it.

[Jorge]

Yeah. I love the first two seasons of it especially.

[Zach Amico]

It was so fucking good.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I don't think even the stuff she tweeted was that crazy.

[Shannon]

No, it wasn't. Especially in today's climate. People are openly.

[Zach Amico]

If anything, she was ahead of her time. If anything.

[Shannon]

Yeah. She was way before. So is Kanye. If you think about it. A few months after everything happened, people have been like, he's got a point.

[Zach Amico]

Do we have what she said, Shannon, or can you bring it up?

[Unknown]

I have one of them where it says, she said Jews were beaten in the streets, not by Nazi soldiers, but by their neighbors, even children. And then she also talked about people wearing masks during COVID Now, that was dumb.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. She's kind of. She was kind of a. So here's a theory I have, and you guys are welcome to disagree. Agreement. That's okay.

[Jacob Williams]

We're all.

[Zach Amico]

We're all adults here. I feel like there is a very distinct concussion to right wing conspiracy Pipeline. A lot of the people I know who have getting knocked in the head enough all of a sudden get real. Qanoni.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I think, hey, because nobody talks about fucking Ronda Rousey being like a doomsday prepper.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Or whatever. Hiding in the woods, getting ready for the zombie apocalypse.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

That's a good point. There is something with concussions and conspiracy theory.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Adds up. Like Tony Ferguson.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

All in on conspiracy.

[Zach Amico]

A lot of my wrestler friends.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You get knocked around enough, I think.

[Shannon]

Or does it knock a screw loose where you're like, now I see things clearer.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like they live glasses.

[Shannon]

Exactly.

[Zach Amico]

They see the truth.

[Shannon]

Clears a pathway in your fucking brain.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, I agree. I mean, I think freedom of speech is a weird thing. And we. It's not cancel culture. I think it's consequence culture. And I think what she said was not horrendous. It was just against the status quo.

[Shannon]

Of Disney.

[Zach Amico]

Of Disney. And that. A bunch of fucking fat ladies with Mickey Mouse ears who try and see how fat you can be and still get on the ride.

[Shannon]

A meatball corn dog. Every fucking roller coaster they go on.

[Zach Amico]

I got upset with her.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I think, had she not been a hot lady.

[Shannon]

That's another thing. I think that we also. The left also seems to have a problem with hot women with opinions.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Is that a crazy thing?

[Shannon]

It really Is like you look at the whole jeans commercial.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

What's her name?

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

I mean, how many times have jean companies just put a play on words? Jeans. Jeans. It's done with Levi, everybody. Who gives a. And now you get the. And she's not even that attractive really. She kind of looks like a little autistic or a little. Slightly.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Her eyes are too close out of.

[Shannon]

Your rat boy love and mind not saying that. I wouldn't.

[Zach Amico]

I haven't noticed she has a face yet.

[Jorge]

That's.

[Shannon]

That's what you got to focus on.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

The rest of it's perfect. Which I'm not saying I'm a prize, but what I am saying is that she does look slightly. Look at her face a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

God damn you. A little bit. A little.

[Shannon]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

She looks like. She looks like somebody's holding something at the tip of her nose and telling her to look at it.

[Shannon]

Exactly.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

He's got like those like real like cross eyed inbred little thing. The rest of her body's beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Now she's a fucking smoke show.

[Shannon]

And I'd still fuck her in the face. I'm just saying.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I'll let her know. I'll let her know that somebody table.

[Shannon]

Email somebody let it know.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, obviously they can't take Gina Carano back now.

[Shannon]

I mean, they could. I mean.

[Zach Amico]

But I think it would be hilarious if they did.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I wish she hadn't gone and done shit with what was it? Red Letter me or whatever.

[Shannon]

The fucking Daily Wire.

[Zach Amico]

Daily Wire, Yeah.

[Shannon]

That sinking ship is fucking ridiculous.

[Zach Amico]

That nightmare. Yeah.

[Shannon]

That's fucking horrendous.

[Zach Amico]

Ben Shapiro, everything They do do their version of the. What the lady boy fucking basketball movie was.

[Shannon]

It was awful.

[Zach Amico]

It one thing, and I do feel like I've been riding the line a lot lately, man. Conservatives just cannot figure out satire.

[Shannon]

They can't. They're not good at it.

[Zach Amico]

Do you remember they tried to do like a Daily show on Fox?

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it was just horrendous.

[Shannon]

Didn't work.

[Zach Amico]

Let me. I felt like Red Eye worked.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Red Eye still working.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

It's still technically. I mean, it's just that, you know, now Gutfeld's not at midnight anymore, but that's still his show.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And it's still highly rated.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jorge]

Would you guys go on Gutfield or.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jorge]

I think I met someone that books it, but I'm like, I don't know if I have the right style for that.

[Shannon]

You could do it.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, mullen. Did it. Yeah, like, people we know that are like, liberal, like. Yeah, I. I don't think he's gonna be like, you believe in the wrong thing. I think you can be funny on a show like that and be yourself.

[Jorge]

Political stuff. I'd do it. Maybe. I don't know. We'll see.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think, I think especially with.

[Shannon]

The only fans page.

[Jorge]

Yeah, that's true. Maybe.

[Zach Amico]

I actually think it's. It's really important right now for people to like, go to the other side.

[Jorge]

Sure, sure.

[Zach Amico]

And not say, I agree with you. But like, I don't know, man. Yeah, plenty of friends I don't agree with that I'll sit and have a beer with.

[Shannon]

Of course.

[Zach Amico]

Because we're fucking adults, dude.

[Jorge]

No, definitely. I definitely have a lot of people on my, like social media timeline where I totally disagree, but it's like, just interesting to see their, like, thought process. I probably would look at their stuff more to be like, all right, what am I missing?

[Shannon]

Yeah, well, that's. The longer you guys, the longer you talk to people who you disagree with, you always agree on something.

[Zach Amico]

You find some middle ground. Yeah, we're all people.

[Shannon]

Exactly.

[Zach Amico]

You know.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Normally it's. You find that middle ground somewhere in between there and it always, for some reason, always leads to Jews.

[Doug Uram]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

The middle ground is a tunnel underneath the synagogue, however. Well, yeah, I would love to do shit. Like, I mean, I think, I think it would be fun just the same. It would be to go on some fucking crazy fucking left wing thing and probably be an antagonist on that.

[Shannon]

I would love to do that if I could find the route. Some odd, like real heavily left leaning thing, some podcast or some show just to see what happens.

[Zach Amico]

I do it every time I hang out with my fucking wife, sister's friends. I've become a fucking. I might as well put out a fucking. I might as well shave a tiny moustache, put on an arm band. Holy shit.

[Shannon]

But that's also got to be in like being in like in an entertainment environment. Like, if you're on a level. I feel like we all know what's going on here. Maybe some people don't. Yeah, they might take it too far. But when you're in a personal setting where people lean left and like. Or lean right and it gets like, like just a regular play, getting a beer, whatever. That's when shit gets bad.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Because there's no camera to keep you honest.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

You. Your behavior in check. So you could act however the fuck you want.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like in most situations where there are different, where it's a social event, I feel like almost everybody kind of separates naturally. And I feel like it's always. In my case, the more. Not conservative, but less crazy liberal people congregate outside.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like by a fire or where you could smoke.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that's true.

[Zach Amico]

And then the ladies and men who talk like ladies hang out inside.

[Jorge]

I'm inside for sure.

[Shannon]

You're an inside boy everybody's talking about.

[Jorge]

Only because I want to be around women for once.

[Shannon]

Let's talk about a periods.

[Zach Amico]

I venture inside for snacks.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then I report. I report.

[Shannon]

But that's the worst, though. You venture inside for snacks, and somehow you get caught in a conversation you don't want to get in. They're like, hey, Zach, so how's the pot? And you're like, fuck, I just want to go back outside. You're stuck sitting there talking about, like, your fucking marriage and shit like that. Your cats.

[Zach Amico]

I legitimately once at. And I love my wife's family very much. Her sister's very, very good to me, always takes great care of me. But her friends could be a lot. And I remember they had a party one time, and I walked through the kitchen to go get snacks and a beer, and I walked through the middle of a debate about the definition of consent. However, whatever I thought I wanted to do at this party, if you could give me a thing that I do not want to have a conversation about with a bunch of bruh.

[Shannon]

With a bunch of.

[Jacob Williams]

Who is.

[Shannon]

I don't want to talk about consent. What was their definition? Just curious.

[Jorge]

Oh, whatever the two sides of this argument, it was.

[Zach Amico]

It was a liberal argument and a more liberal argument.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Trust me.

[Jorge]

So it was, like, enthusiastic. Yes. But yes. It's like just a regular yes.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Pretty much, yeah. It was like paperwork.

[Shannon]

I feel like the more the. The conversation of consent goes left, the more the consent kind of gets withdrawn.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

You know what I mean? Like, it's kind. That's like. It starts off all well and good where they actually want you to sign paperwork, but then as it gets more and more left up that hill, it gets to sign the paperwork. Then it's like a little playful. I don't know. Then it's, you know, just stick it in without me. I don't know. The left. The more left things get sometimes the more right they seem.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. For me, it's always, why is it the girls that are the leftiest are always the ones that ask you to choke them?

[Shannon]

Exactly.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

You never see a conservative church going, bitch. Fucking asking you to slap them, choke them, stick a thumb in their ass.

[Zach Amico]

No, but give me some fucking chubby girl with tattoos and granny glasses. And then fucking. They put your hand around their throat.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah. They're asking you to elbow drop.

[Zach Amico]

We're making Jacob very uncomfortable.

[Jorge]

I don't know what to say.

[Zach Amico]

He either knows exactly what we're talking about or he just wants us to move on desperately.

[Shannon]

That's true. He's got things to worry about. That's right.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, Shannon, your thoughts?

[Unknown]

Oh, look, he's making him suck his own dick.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sorry. I'm so happy I have this drop, though.

[Unknown]

He's making him suck his own dick.

[Jorge]

I did not know that was a clip. I was very confused.

[Zach Amico]

We watched a clip of a guy getting beheaded and then they made him suck his. They put his.

[Shannon]

Get the fuck. Oh, man.

[Jorge]

How did they find my porn search?

[Zach Amico]

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[Unknown]

So it's. Malaysia is where she's from. So I'm gonna show you her before the pregnancy first.

[Jacob Williams]

Oh, man.

[Unknown]

Very cute.

[Shannon]

How old is she then?

[Zach Amico]

28.

[Shannon]

Yeah, she is cute.

[Zach Amico]

Beautiful, right?

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Looks like a fat Mexican man.

[Zach Amico]

20. So it caused wrinkles, skin condition, and then her ears and nose to grow exponentially.

[Shannon]

Oh, my God. It gave her the face of an alcoholic.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she looks like WC Fields.

[Shannon]

Oh, my little chickadee.

[Zach Amico]

Hello, my little. This poor woman. This poor.

[Shannon]

That's terrible.

[Zach Amico]

This lady in nine months went from a tiny little spinner.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

To a old. Put a curse on you in a laundromat.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, that's.

[Shannon]

Dude, that is rough.

[Zach Amico]

That's so horrible. Don't you feel so. And listen, obviously you feel awful for her.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That husband did not see that one coming.

[Shannon]

No, he didn't.

[Zach Amico]

One load. One load.

[Shannon]

Now if she gets pregnant again, will it reverse it?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, could. Yeah.

[Shannon]

Give it a shot.

[Zach Amico]

Or she'll have an old baby.

[Unknown]

She did start to like, get a little less gross.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay.

[Unknown]

So this is her after. This is her after she had the baby.

[Shannon]

That's such a cop.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay.

[Jorge]

It's not too bad.

[Zach Amico]

All right, that's better.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

She just looks like my friend's mom.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, that's tough. Like, she looks like she hit a gypsy with her car, Made a whole situation.

[Shannon]

It does look like somebody threw her that baby as they run her pockets.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That just this poor one. And then Shannon, is that something that can happen or is this just like.

[Shannon]

A freak thing that only happens in places like that?

[Unknown]

Well, it says it's something that can happen, like due to like, changes of hormones. Like there can be varying degrees of changes. And she just seemed to have all the worst things possible.

[Zach Amico]

That poor girl.

[Unknown]

Here's another picture of her when she was before pregnancy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow.

[Unknown]

Little cutie.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, what a fuck is that?

[Jorge]

That is better than.

[Zach Amico]

She looks like one of the food babies.

[Shannon]

She still always had that up nose, though. That wasn't.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, no, the nose got way different though. Yeah, look how little it is there.

[Unknown]

Yeah, here it's little.

[Shannon]

Yeah, but look. Then scroll down. She has the Muhammad Ali nose.

[Zach Amico]

That might be the lighting. Oh, that might be shadow on either side. I don't know. The poor. Yeah, she's like the food. You know, the food babies. The girls that got caught. No, it's the girls that. One of the girls that got caught. The guy from the try guys.

[Shannon]

I have no idea what the hell.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. It was like a buzzfeed spin off. And they were. You remember what I'm talking about, right?

[Jorge]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

There were four guys, they were called the Try guys.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they would do, like, viral videos. They worked for Buzzfeed. Then they quit and started. And it was four of them, and it was like a gay Asian guy, a nerdy guy, and they're all fucking nerds. It was very, very, very girl based stuff. And one of them was like, the wife guy. And he had a cookbook with his wife, and everything was how much he loved his wife. And then they caught him making out with a chick, one of his producers. And they had a fire from the show.

[Shannon]

That's him right there.

[Zach Amico]

That's him with his wife.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then they had a fire from the show. And do, like a serious statement.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

About, you know, workplace consent and all this fucking shit.

[Shannon]

They made him do that statement.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no. Oh, no, he's gone.

[Jacob Williams]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

The other three guys had to do it. And it basically ruined a empire. I mean, they had like a warehouse they made videos in. Like, it was a big production.

[Shannon]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

And this guy getting Asian puss on the side.

[Shannon]

How does it destroy your whole career? How does that happen?

[Zach Amico]

And then they did an SNL skit about it.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And all the other Try guys wives flipped out because the whole sketch was like, who gives a shit?

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they were making fun of how seriously they were treating it. And the other girl, the other guy's wives were like, the guy. The guy that cheated was Ned. He has friends that write on snl. And this is a hit piece to try to try and make us look bad.

[Jorge]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Am I the only one that remembers all this?

[Shannon]

I have no idea. What the hell?

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, do you remember this?

[Jorge]

I saw that sketch.

[Shannon]

I don't. No, I wasn't.

[Unknown]

I didn't watch that show.

[Zach Amico]

I love. I like that shit. I like Try guys. A good mythical morning and all that bullshit.

[Shannon]

But I'm more upset. Upset that an entire Asian, entire Asian, entire empire comes crashing down because you get Asian puss on.

[Zach Amico]

You're a little puss.

[Shannon]

But it's because he loved his wife so much.

[Zach Amico]

It's because everything was about the wife. The wife and the kid. They had a cookbook. They were doing, like, they had a podcast together, like our marriage. And like all this shit. It's the same as the girls that. That are always going to hate Mulaney now for leaving the first Jew broad and getting Olivia Munn pregnant.

[Jorge]

One of my friends worked with Conan o' Brien on a movie and he said is, like, one of his biggest advice things was just to, like, not cheat on your wife because it's like, he's like, 15 minutes of fun isn't worth, like, ruining your career. But. Yeah, I thought that was kind of.

[Shannon]

Sometimes it is.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe I don't know what your wife looks like.

[Jorge]

I haven't really had the opportunity to have a wife or to cheat on anyone.

[Zach Amico]

But, no, I think that makes sense, especially, like, Conan, because, like, certain people are, like, a cult of personality and they feel like Conan's their friend.

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he's never met the guy. They don't know what he's really like. Yeah, but like, same with, like, Mulaney or any of these guys that are just, like, friendly.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

Like, if Jimmy Fallon does it, it's a big deal. Right? But you get somebody, like, who's like, like a Hugh Jackman or something that cheats on you, like.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, no, Hugh Jackman's a notorious good boy.

[Shannon]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He's been with his wife forever.

[Jorge]

Well, they got divorced now, right?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, did they?

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He was a good boy for it. I mean. But some people think she might have been an accessory, if you know what I mean.

[Shannon]

He's gay.

[Jorge]

That's a rumor.

[Shannon]

He's a beard.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, he's quite good in musicals.

[Jorge]

But I think there was a rumor he was getting together with his new co star and music man, like, after the divorce.

[Shannon]

I could kind of see during it now. Turtlenecks make you look gay no matter what.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So, like, if Conan had cheated, it would be an issue. It would be, David Letterman cheated and nobody gave a shit.

[Shannon]

Yeah, nobody cared. It's like you said, those guys.

[Zach Amico]

He's like an intern, didn't he?

[Jacob Williams]

He did, yeah.

[Doug Uram]

Quick.

[Jorge]

Yeah, I think he, like, got in front of it, too, because he, like, came out with the story himself.

[Zach Amico]

Well, because I think they're trying to blackmail him.

[Jorge]

Right, Exactly. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he announced it. But, like, also, did she stay? Yeah, I think they did.

[Shannon]

She did. Yeah. I didn't hear about a divorce.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, shit happens.

[Shannon]

Yeah. He's David Letterman.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but it's Jimmy Fallon got caught.

[Shannon]

That's different.

[Zach Amico]

That would be different.

[Shannon]

It's like you said, anybody who's a nice guy.

[Zach Amico]

Nice guy, yeah.

[Shannon]

You cannot be a nice guy and fuck other women. You cannot. You can. But like I said, if you're an asshole, you'll get away with that. Like you said, Letterman, he cheats. Yeah, whatever.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, so like, Bill Maher can fuck whoever he wants.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But at the same time, he's just never going to like.

[Jacob Williams]

I don't.

[Zach Amico]

I think Shane could get away with it.

[Shannon]

He could. Yeah, he could get away with it.

[Zach Amico]

Shane can get away with it. Not that he would.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Not that he would. But you could see, like, yeah, he's not a Jimmy Fallon or.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, o'.

[Shannon]

Brien. Where Nate would be fucked. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Nate would be far.

[Shannon]

But it's like anything else. Right. He did all this with his wife. That must mean you're hiding something. Like, nobody loves their wife that much.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, my mom to this day.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Hates Jimmy Kimmel.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because he did a show on HGTV with his first wife that she hates him because.

[Jorge]

And because he left her wife.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. It was his first wife before he got famous. Before. He's still on the man show.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then like a year later, my mom saw him on one of the roasts with Sarah Silverman sitting on his lap.

[Shannon]

Oh, shit.

[Zach Amico]

And he had gotten divorced at the time. Started dating Sarah Silverman. Dude, my mom to this day, hate. Can you match his wife? Turning on the tv, she sees a girl sitting on her husband's lap.

[Shannon]

Could you imagine that?

[Jorge]

My grandma. That was her favorite late night host was Kimmel. She was like. It was just funny because she was super old, but she was like super into his sense of humor like when he first came up and.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jorge]

Which. Yeah, anyway.

[Shannon]

No, yeah, we're listening.

[Jorge]

No, that's all.

[Shannon]

It feels like a ripcord on what you said.

[Jorge]

No, sorry. I felt like. I wish I had a cooler story here.

[Zach Amico]

No, don't be nervous, Nelly. You're good, buddy.

[Shannon]

But yeah, he loses confidence.

[Zach Amico]

My family also thinks anyone who's not super straight laced is very upsetting.

[Shannon]

I think. Is your family lean heavily, right?

[Zach Amico]

No, I think they would.

[Shannon]

I thought so. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no. I feel like they don't know what they are.

[Shannon]

That's good, though. Who cares?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Shannon]

That's good. It's like they're just.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. They're just out of it.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That. Who? Oh, we were talking about something that I like. Oh. That I like. Cutthroat Kitchen.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I was. That Alton Brown. He's strange. There's something that we don't like him. He makes us nervous.

[Shannon]

I gotta meet your family.

[Zach Amico]

That's this. And you do. Trust me.

[Shannon]

That's got to be.

[Zach Amico]

I trust me, buddy. Yeah. You're just meeting my impressions. I love him.

[Shannon]

She Hates this guy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she said he's strange.

[Shannon]

He does look a little strange.

[Zach Amico]

I've always, I've always been a fan. I always thought in the scheme of things, Bourdain would be the best hang ironically.

[Shannon]

Son of a bitch.

[Zach Amico]

And Andrew Zimmerman's probably the most fun.

[Shannon]

I don't know, I kind of. Every time I watch him, there's something about him that bugs me.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, really?

[Shannon]

What it is?

[Zach Amico]

He liked one of my tweets once when I said that Bourdain will put a finger in your ass without asking and Andrew Zimmerman will ask you to pee on him.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he liked it.

[Shannon]

Well, he's always going. A lot of those shows happen in like those weird Asian countries.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Where you could have like boom, boom, the 13 year old prostitute as a friend for the weekend.

[Zach Amico]

Who. What's the fruit that Durian. Is there like really smelly fruit that they always do on those shows?

[Shannon]

Is it called.

[Zach Amico]

It's not.

[Unknown]

That's it.

[Shannon]

Durian.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we should try that. We should do that here, Shannon.

[Shannon]

And what's guava? I feel.

[Unknown]

Isn't that like illegal in some places? Let me see if it's.

[Zach Amico]

Durian is illegal to eat in some countries in public.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because it's so stinky.

[Shannon]

I think it's even illegal to bring back because it's invasive.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, is it?

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, Shannon, get me the info.

[Unknown]

So it is. It's legal in New York. While the strong odor of durian could be a deterrent in some public spaces in Southeast Asia, it is not illegal to possess or sell durian in New York City. Okay, so it's got to find out.

[Shannon]

I wonder why we have lantern flies bringing in this stupid shit.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, the, the. I guess the. I, maybe I would like daring because I loved camembert. Yeah, the real smelly cheese. You know what I'm talking about?

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

Is that the one with the maggots in it?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, Camembert. It's almost like a brie, but it's like if you touch it, your hands smell. Yeah, yeah, I know. When Faga used to work at the restaurant, they did a baked camembert, like appetizer, and they had to stop making it well because when they put it in the toaster, it would make the whole restaurant stink to the point where the bar would clear out.

[Shannon]

That makes sense.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Smells like you're throwing an Indian in an oven.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's a lot, but it's really good.

[Shannon]

I can't I mean, I feel like I would like it just because I like sniffing at girls armpits. That's about it.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, look up. What is the. What would be the. The. The. The profile of Camembert? How would be the best way to explain it? You guys like brie?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Yeah, I think so.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

It's the only cheese I think is brie.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Shannon]

I fucking hate cheese by itself.

[Zach Amico]

Mozzarella.

[Shannon]

No, like that.

[Jacob Williams]

All right.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that too.

[Jacob Williams]

All right.

[Shannon]

That's a good point. Mozzarella I like. By itself.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Earthy, mushroomy and slightly tangy with notes of butter and nuts.

[Shannon]

That doesn't sound bad.

[Zach Amico]

That sounds like my nuts. It sounds like my balls. Earthy, mushroomy. Ain't the butter. That doesn't matter. It is good stuff. But it stank. It stank. I ordered French cheese basket for Mrs. Amico one year for her birthday and I left it in the fridge for her because I had to go to work. And she said. She opened up the fridge and thought everything in the fridge. She thought the power went out.

[Shannon]

Is it really that bad? We gotta bring some in here.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, can you find a YouTube video, someone describing Camembert? We should do a stinky food day.

[Shannon]

We should.

[Zach Amico]

Camembert. Durian. What else would we put on there?

[Shannon]

That fruit that you said.

[Zach Amico]

Yadarian.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

What? Oh, like that. What were you just telling me that? Fish jerky.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Shannon]

Fuck. We gotta give that a shot.

[Zach Amico]

Icelandic fish jerky.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Stunk up my fucking house.

[Shannon]

We gotta do that one day.

[Zach Amico]

I left that in the cabinet here because we were gonna see if Harrington would eat it.

[Shannon]

Did he?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think he did. Oh, God.

[Shannon]

Jesus Christ.

[Zach Amico]

We were trying to figure out what would be so gross that people at Gas wouldn't eat it. Because if you put anything in the shelves here, it will be consumed.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Well, within days.

[Shannon]

Dude, that like.

[Zach Amico]

It's like dropping off a car in a bad neighborhood when you don't want to sell it.

[Shannon]

Commit an insurance fraud in the fucking. Somebody ate all those Pacquiao chips. Or Paco chips they called. Yeah, fucking spicy. Whatever. The.

[Unknown]

I found an obnoxious couple that. Taste it if you want to see that.

[Zach Amico]

Why not? Oh, God, I hate them already. Oh, no, that's Joe Russell.

[Shannon]

That's Joe Russell.

[Unknown]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, pause.

[Unknown]

I was just. Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

You got.

[Shannon]

Got.

[Zach Amico]

That's our friend Joe Russell.

[Unknown]

I don't know who he is, but I apologize.

[Zach Amico]

He's Bobby's producer.

[Unknown]

No, I'm sorry, Joe. Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Unknown]

I Mean, if you look at the thumbnail of this, you'll get it.

[Zach Amico]

That's so funny. He's so nice. He drove me home from the ykwd.

[Shannon]

I love Joe Russell.

[Unknown]

I want to just show. Just look at the thumbn. Come on. That looks terror. It looks like an obnoxious couple.

[Zach Amico]

Right, Shannon? Sorry, did we argue with you?

[Shannon]

I feel bad.

[Unknown]

I'm just backtracking.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but it's some bitch with a ukulele. We get it. He knows. Joe know. Joe knows his girlfriend is some lady with a ukulele.

[Unknown]

I feel bad.

[Shannon]

That's hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

Today's cheese is Camembert. Camembert. All right, Skip, Skip. I can't deal with them. Keep it moving. I just want to see him taste. Look at that rind. Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

This is a white mold.

[Shannon]

This is the one that smells like shit. Yeah, right?

[Jorge]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

I can't take this.

[Zach Amico]

This is driving Shannon nuts.

[Jorge]

I hate watching Philadelphia.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they hate Shannon hates us. Here's my criticism.

[Shannon]

That is gross.

[Zach Amico]

This is the least amount of taste. It's almost all texture with a little hint of cheese. It's like a person that works out a lot, but they don't have any personality. This is the most boring cheese. I disagree so far. Maybe because it's not from France. I can't watch this. I can't watch this. Joe's such a nice guy. He's a great, good guy and he's a funny comic, but I would fucking. I rather fucking cut my nuts with a fucking toenail clipper than fucking watch him in this fucking bitchy cheese.

[Shannon]

This is fucking hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

Holy shit.

[Shannon]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

I hope their next cheese has a fucking skull and crossbones on it. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Jorge]

Yeah, it makes me really uncomfortable.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon has that to the. She can't stand the sound of Irwin.

[Jorge]

Billy on like a podcast.

[Unknown]

Misophonia.

[Zach Amico]

Misophonia.

[Shannon]

That's what it's called when you don't like the sound of people eating.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's a black lady that features for people in Connecticut. Oh, you got Misophonia this weekend. She gonna sell T shirts.

[Shannon]

You damn right.

[Zach Amico]

Misophonia sells screen printed T shirts.

[Shannon]

When you're the headliner magnets that say that go in your fridge.

[Zach Amico]

Hey guys, real quick. Today's episode is brought to. You are good friends at small batch cigars. Simple, fast, small batch. Having cigars in the house is the same as having a nice bottle of wine, some treats, anything to show people that you are a sophisticated and classy Human being. Well, small batch cigar is a great place to go if you're like me and really don't know that much about cigars. They have free shipping on every order, and almost every order arrives within two to three days. Within the continental United States, they have the most thorough packaging in the industry. Every purchase comes with the Boveda pack. So your cigars come super fresh. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited, and hard to find cigars. And you earn 5% reward points instantly with your purchase. What you're going to want to do is go to smallbatchcigar.com today and most people click the new button first to shop around the newest products. And we have a discount code for you. That's gas 10G A S10. And that gets you 10% off your order, plus those 5% reward points. One more time, guys. That's discount code gas10@smallbatch cigar.com. all right, let's get back into the program. All right, Next fucking thing. Oh, we can talk. I already told you guys fucking loved weapons. Jacob, did you see yet?

[Jorge]

Oh, I did, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I love what you think.

[Jorge]

Yeah, I liked it a lot. I actually wasn't super into the other one, Barbarian, but this one I liked a lot because I felt like it just kept the suspense up for, like, pretty much the whole time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I agree. Very, very cool movie. If anybody wants to check it out, I would. I would. Cousin Zach recommends.

[Jorge]

Yeah, definitely another recommendation.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I got fast food. Talk time. I lifted my ban on Sonic.

[Shannon]

Sonic's terrible, though.

[Zach Amico]

Sonic is not great.

[Shannon]

It's one of the. That's why they're all going at it. Remember they had that big push and they were showing commercials like, every 10 minutes. And then they came out and you're like, what the fuck is this horse?

[Zach Amico]

So I saw Sonic commercials for years before we had one in Jersey.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Where did you grow up, Jacob?

[Jorge]

Yeah, I grew up in Kentucky, I think. I saw the ads and also, well, I lived in Chicago for a while, so TJ and Dave was considered, like, the best improv group ever. And one of the guys is, like, in the Sonic commercials, so I, like, always notice him from that.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, I feel like I saw the commercials for, like, 10 years before I ever got to try.

[Jorge]

Right, right.

[Shannon]

They did a good job at that. Pushing that. Pushing that on you.

[Zach Amico]

Then they opened one in Jersey, Route 17 by where the Toys R Us used to be. Right?

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I don't know if you remember this. Yeah, the line was so long, they had to assign Cops.

[Jacob Williams]

Well, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

To let people in. And the week Sonic opened, somebody ran over and whose guard was job was to guard Sonic. So Sonic.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The week it opened in Jersey.

[Shannon]

Not just by heart disease, like how it usually does for the fucking vehicle.

[Zach Amico]

So I was in Saratoga Springs this weekend, and the options were Sonic or McDonald's. And I was like, you know, and I've been. Been on a Sonic reprieve.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because the last time I got Sonic for me, and this is Amico, she ordered mozzarella sticks and she gave. They gave us the ultimate disrespect. They gave us.

[Jorge]

They made them out of the smelly cheese.

[Zach Amico]

Empty mozzarella sticks.

[Shannon]

There was no cheese in them.

[Jorge]

Just empty. Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Just the cornmeal.

[Shannon]

That's because they overcooked those.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Jorge]

So it's cheese, like split out or something.

[Zach Amico]

There was no cheese in any. They were empty husks.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

And I have never gotten over how mad I was about that. So I've been on I know Sonic rule, but Sonic was my option, and it was right next to the hotel. So we go. And I think I got the worst service in the history of fast food.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

They roller skate out usually.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Jorge]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And we went to that.

[Jorge]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And they never came.

[Jorge]

Oh, they never came.

[Zach Amico]

We waited for 10 minutes. We watched other cars pull in and pull out and give up. So finally go in the drive, the. The drive through lane. We're sitting the car in front of us, goes, we're saying hello. Five minutes, nothing.

[Jorge]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

A guy comes on, he goes, yeah, we're gonna need some time. Like, that's fine. We wait. Girl picks up every single thing I asked for. She would go, what's that?

[Shannon]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Jorge]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

She didn't know how to turn her headset off.

[Shannon]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

So she didn't know anything on the menu.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

We order. We go up to the window. It took so long. And this lady didn't know how to turn her headset off. That we were hearing the updates.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And we heard at one point, this car has been here for 23 minutes. She gives us our sodas when we get up, and then she goes, oh, I didn't fill those up a lot. Do you guys want me to fill them up to the top?

[Shannon]

What the fuck does that mean, a lot? You only filled it halfway through.

[Zach Amico]

She did. She did a very bad job.

[Jorge]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

So we hand her the sodas back and she goes, which one's which? We went, we don't know. We didn't taste them yet. She goes and dumps them both out.

[Jorge]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Makes these sodas, Right. So now we're sitting there. It was to the point where now they're taking food out of the front door.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And giving it to the cars behind us.

[Jorge]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

Oh, God.

[Jorge]

That's a nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

And I got a burger and a hot dog and breakfast burrito.

[Shannon]

Was the. Was the fucking hot dog burnt? They always burned their fucking hot dog.

[Zach Amico]

It was fine. So then she comes back to us, opens up the drive through window and goes, what did you guys order?

[Shannon]

Oh, this is fucking.

[Zach Amico]

And I go, what? She goes, we can't remember what you ordered. So I had to give her the receipt back.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Oh, no.

[Shannon]

Did they just get the news that they were closing and then nobody gives a fuck.

[Zach Amico]

It had to be the girl's first day. She was trying. Yeah, it seemed like a nightmare in there.

[Jacob Williams]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Because the restaurant was empty.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like they were not putting in work.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah, it's closing. So then we probably got the news you guys are all fired in three weeks.

[Zach Amico]

They're like, all right. So then we get. We get our food somehow. We got everything we ordered.

[Jacob Williams]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And I have to tell you, this new Sonic special. Pretty good. It's worth 40 minutes, Shannon, if you want to look up the big Dill Smash Burger.

[Jorge]

Sounds good.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if you're pickle boys.

[Shannon]

I am a pickle boy.

[Zach Amico]

Jacob. Pickle boy.

[Jorge]

Yeah, sure.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon. Pickle lady. I know you don't do meat.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

I like Shan, you like a pickle?

[Unknown]

I do Jorge.

[Jorge]

Pickle boy sounds great.

[Zach Amico]

Of course. I love a pickle. Okay. You gotta. Dude. So they also do a pickle slush, which I wasn't gonna fuck with. So it's crispy Double Smash Burger.

[Jorge]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Pickles. Fried pickles and a dill spread.

[Jorge]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Buddy. Oh, buddy. I got high and I watched south park and I ate that.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I was a happy little piggy boy.

[Shannon]

Dude, that looks amazing.

[Zach Amico]

They also do a pickle slushie, which I was not ready to out of here.

[Jorge]

They always gotta go too far.

[Zach Amico]

Pickles is the thing right now.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

My chick just went to, like, a state fair and they do, like, pickles and Dr. Pepper. What? Yeah, they do like, pickle drinks now. Yeah, I know. It was like a viral thing for a while. It was like pickles, coke, and like, fucking something else.

[Shannon]

That's horrendous.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Jorge]

Well, that reminds me. I used to work at. My first job was in food service at Like Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom. And it was like basically like a hot dog type fast food. And they were like cutting corners so much they're like, hey, if the hot dogs turn like green and gray, like, if they go bad, just turn them in the corn dogs. Cuz like, no one will know. So it was pretty bad. It was really bad.

[Zach Amico]

That's like the fucking Apu in the Simpsons.

[Jorge]

It was horrible. Yeah. And then also the park was technically.

[Zach Amico]

If we're on the roller for more than six hours, we have to call them wizard fingers, right?

[Jorge]

No, the park was so bad too. Like, a lot of the rides were breaking down and one of them like actually snapped. It was like a thing that drops people and a cable snapped and like cut off someone's legs. And so I think the park like shut down eventually after that.

[Shannon]

Why did I hear about that?

[Jorge]

It was a pretty famous story, I guess.

[Shannon]

But it snapped and cut off a girl's feet.

[Jorge]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy. Were you there that day?

[Jorge]

I was. I think I might have even quit working right before that. But yeah, it was like, shortly after.

[Zach Amico]

But yeah, they're like, make it be the corn dogs.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Make them into corn niblets. Cut the toes off.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

How bad of it was? Did people know it was a shithole?

[Jorge]

I think so, because I like, I went on my first roller coaster there and the next day in the news it said like, that coaster had gotten like, stuck for like, right after I wrote it, like Action Park. So, yeah, it was pretty. It was pretty bad. Now it's open under different owners, I guess.

[Zach Amico]

But it's not a Six Flags anymore.

[Jorge]

Yeah. So now it's just kind of a independent. I don't know if it's any better or not. I think I went there once for like the Halloween stuff, and I literally like, it went into a haunted house and like, caught the person by surprise. Like, they were like, I have a joke about it now. But there was literally like a vampire actor or someone like drinking like a bottle of water, like, taking a break and he's like, I, like, startled him. So, like, I don't think that's supposed to happen.

[Zach Amico]

I did that on a. Me and my chick went on a haunted hayride.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But we didn't know it was the first run of it. Yeah, like, the first night. First run.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it was a husband and wife. I think the husband was like the narrator and the wife was driving the hayride and she went the wrong way for like 10 minutes and he didn't notice. So in the middle of his, like, spooky stage, he was like, janice, what the fuck?

[Jorge]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

Then we turned around, so we're super late. And we caught every single actor. Like, they were all just sitting, like, on their phones. We're drinking Red Bull. And they would jump up and try and do the thing.

[Jorge]

Oh, no, that's funny. Yeah. I went to Hershey park for a Halloween thing once with a friend, and he got in trouble because he, like, tried to scare, like, the scare actors. And then, like, someone start, like, a supervisor started, like, following him around. It was. I was like, oh, jeez.

[Zach Amico]

Everyone tries to. I did many years at a haunted house.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And everyone tries to get you. Everyone thinks that they're the first person.

[Shannon]

How do they do that?

[Zach Amico]

They try and fucking.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Pull shit or.

[Jorge]

That's got to be annoying.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude, you get hit so much. Oh, you get hit, dude. Every single person in the face. Oh, yeah.

[Shannon]

Oh, Jesus.

[Zach Amico]

Every single person I worked with at the haunted house, I think got hit. Wow.

[Jorge]

Yeah, it was in this other one, this guy, random person, and he, like. I think he, like, touched this lady who was like an actor in the house. And then she started. She was, like, in character, but then she was, like, actually upset. So it was like this weird hybrid. She's like, don't and do that, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I've had a few. Like, I've got. I got hit a bunch. I had a pop scare one year where I would come around a corner, I had a big metal sheet I would bang on. And so many people's reaction is. I mean, I think some people go in going, I'm gonna punch somebody in there.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jorge]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

And it's. Oh, like, dude. I saw my friend Sabrina is 411, I think, or 410. A guy spin kicked her.

[Jorge]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Took her down and walked. I mean, she went down like a sack.

[Shannon]

Is that a reaction when you. When you're frightened? Like, you have to think, like, if.

[Zach Amico]

Well, there's like, you know that. Remember that? Like, it was like. I would say it's even before viral videos. Remember the video? They're interviewing the black kid, and there was a guy at the garbage can, and he just turns around and knocks him out.

[Jorge]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's like that. I think it's, like, jumpy.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

But that feels like that was. That's planned. Like, you're like, if I get. Because he pauses for a minute in that video.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And then he punches him. It's like, you didn't have to do that.

[Jorge]

Yeah, I kind of wanted to be like one of those mascots at the theme park, but my dad was convinced someone would, like, tackle me or something, so maybe it was good to not do it.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Jorge]

I did, actually. I just got kind of a little forehead scar from. I was playing basketball a couple weeks ago behind a bar, and my friend. We were. Yeah, it was just like a basketball hoop behind a bar in Louisville, Kentucky, my hometown. I was visiting. And so my friend. We're playing, like, really intense one on one. Like, it was. We'd been playing for, like, 15 minutes. It was still 00. But we were, like, trying really hard.

[Zach Amico]

The whitest game is one on one.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

White on white.

[Jorge]

And so he was, like, trying to run past me, and we accidentally. Yeah, head butted. And I just like, hoods versus skins anyway. But. Yeah, so I just was like. Started when. It's not a big deal, but I have, like, a scar and it's like it was bleeding down my head.

[Shannon]

This was recent.

[Jorge]

This was like a couple weeks ago.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, this is the video. This is the.

[Jacob Williams]

This is.

[Zach Amico]

This forever ago.

[Shannon]

This was in a college dorm room.

[Zach Amico]

Tyrone, are you going trick or treating? No problem.

[Jorge]

Oh, geez. Yeah, that was way too.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like that was a reaction.

[Jorge]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Shannon]

Tyrone punched a goblin in the face.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Tyrone, I'm guessing. I'm trying to. The haunt. It was.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that's.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, my favorite thing in haunted houses is big groups of black women are like. You ever see fainting goats? Of course, that's where. If you scare. Because they always put the big girl in the front.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And if you scare her full back, she'll fall back and take the others out like bowling pins. So if you could scare the big one in the front, you could take out the whole group. Oh, Jesus. Oh, yeah. People got fucked up in there.

[Shannon]

I've never seen any. I've been to those things a million. I've never seen any of the actors get fucking hit before.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude. We were fucking. Everybody got what was like the worst.

[Jorge]

Injury from that or any.

[Zach Amico]

I had a guy try. And not of the staff, but I had a guy try and pull some shit one night and say he fell in my room and broke his kneecap. But I. So he was coming upstairs and he fucking took a. He face planted. But it was very dramatic.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And so two of the other actors went to help him up, and I went, don't fucking. I went out of character immediately. I went, don't you fucking touch him.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then his friends tried to help. I was like, nope. I was like, leave him on the fucking floor. Call an ambulance.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I called security, and I had the whole house shut down.

[Jacob Williams]

Us.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Shannon]

The whole house shut down?

[Zach Amico]

Well, because you. They were stopped because we had to have a fucking gurney come in.

[Shannon]

Oh, God.

[Jorge]

Oh, jeez.

[Shannon]

Yeah, make them pay for that fucking fake fall.

[Zach Amico]

So he did a big fucking thing, and then he was, like, holding his knee.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And everybody. He's like. He. He asked the staff. I was like, nobody fucking touch him. I was like, a doctor or a fucking EMT will touch you.

[Shannon]

Is that the procedure to do that?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Well, now we pick him up where he's going to sue whoever touched him.

[Jorge]

Oh, damn.

[Shannon]

Fuck. That's why they make you sign waivers before these fucking things.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And I said, nobody fucking touch him. So then the ambulance came and got him and, you know, put him on a thing and took him out. And literally, as he was being taken out, he was yelling at the owner of the haunted house. How will I be compensated for this? He goes, I'm gonna miss weeks of work now. Who's gonna compensate me?

[Shannon]

Free tickets to our next week's.

[Zach Amico]

And then the owner came, and he's like, that guy was trying to fucking sue us. I go, yeah, he was. He goes, how did you know not to touch him? I went. I was like. Because I could tell it was a fake fall.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Wow, that's fucking. That's crazy. What a piece of shit.

[Zach Amico]

I had a lady call the cops and say, I spit in her face.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because I took her. She was like, being like. She was just, like, not letting people do their bits. So I took her and her dude into the next room, and I dropped character. I'm like, hey, guys, you're ruining this for other people. If you could just move on. And we're going to fucking. And she's like, what, do you make, minimum wage? And I'm like, yes, but yeah, actually, we're volunteers. I was like, you're being a real bitch, lady, and you're ruining this, so you need to stop. And I turned around and they left. And then my boss came and was like, did you just spit in a woman's face? And I'm like, no. He's like, well, there's cops here. She went outside and said that when I took her outside, I spit in her face.

[Shannon]

Yeah, Damn. But that's part of the character.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't do it, though.

[Shannon]

Spit. Green slime right in her fucking eyes.

[Zach Amico]

She said I spit in her face. And the cops are. She's trying to press assault charges on me. God.

[Shannon]

Jesus Christ.

[Zach Amico]

And that was another thing. The cops were there. I would say every other weekend. Because people would say. They would say they were attacked or something when it was just regular haunted house shit.

[Jorge]

Damn. There is a haunted house I almost went to in Niagara Falls where it's like, you have to sign a thing and they're allowed to touch you and mess with you. And it's supposed to be like, the scariest haunted house or something. Which I didn't do that one because. Yeah. I'm like, that sounds.

[Zach Amico]

I have no interest. We did a thing where we asked people if they were okay with it and if they were okay with being touched. We would draw an X on their head in blood. But then halfway through the house, you would watch people trying to scrub it off.

[Shannon]

Okay. Would be like, you shake them or some shit like that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Or just like. Yeah, grab their ankle. Shit like that.

[Shannon]

Oh, boy. That's a fucking lawsuit waiting to happen.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Touch some. We had a twist of my nipples.

[Zach Amico]

And then the funny that we would always. It would be trophies if we scared somebody so bad that they lost part of their costume.

[Shannon]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Because people would come dressed up for Halloween.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So we would always, at the end of the night, show off, like, what? We got a belt, a fucking kitty, ears, whatever. Because if we scared somebody so bad, they ran away and wouldn't come back for their piece of their costume.

[Shannon]

That's. What about if you made them piss themselves?

[Zach Amico]

We had that counter. We had a pee and a poo counter.

[Shannon]

Yeah, There was a counter.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, there we. I would say we had two or three people a year that would shit themselves.

[Jorge]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

We also had a bar connected to the haunted house.

[Shannon]

That's perfect.

[Jorge]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Shannon]

So a nice Guinness before.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Down your socks.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I only dropped character for that one lady that one time. And for a little kid.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

He started crying.

[Zach Amico]

He was re. He was way too little to be in there.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

And I was doing his face.

[Zach Amico]

I was doing my. Yeah. I spit his face, called him. I called an ambulance.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, I actually, I. I could just tell that it was, like, bad.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I went to the mom was like, do you guys need to leave? And she's like, no.

[Jorge]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

And I just saw this kid, like, miserable.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I dropped down. I went, hey, man, we're all playing pretend. Nobody here is ever gonna hurt you.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody here is a silly actor. Like, Me and you're completely going. He's like, you promise? I'm like, I, dude, I promise you're completely fine.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then the mom. As they were leaving, the mom went, thank you so much.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I saved them so much therapy.

[Jorge]

I actually think I made a kid cry once at Halloween. My friends had, like, this thing where, like, they set up, like, a fake, like a dummy, like, on, like, hanging over a pathway to their house. And then there was a baby monitor so you could, like. Oh, that could sound like it was talking about. So I was just, like, trying to get in character. I was like, you're gonna die tonight. But it was like a little kid, and he started crying. I felt really bad. I didn't realize he was, like, super young.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever seen. I just talked about this with somebody. You know the guy. It's. I don't think it's the original Bush man, but one of the guys that.

[Shannon]

Dresses up like a bush and he scares the piss.

[Jorge]

I saw one of those in person once in my randomly at my hometown. It freaked me out. Just a guy started chasing me in, like, the ghillie suit.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And there's a video, Shannon, if you can, lit up. It's a guy just like a bush, and he's scaring people. But he accidentally scares an incredibly handicapped woman. But she's like an adult, so you don't see it right away. Like, if you saw her for a second, you wouldn't go, oh, that lady's severely handy. Mentally handicapped.

[Shannon]

Oh, that kind of handicap.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Shannon]

Oh, please.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. He feels so bad at her family. So steamed.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Oh, jeez.

[Shannon]

Please find that video.

[Unknown]

Is this it? Does this look like it?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think it is. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Jorge]

Oh, no. I'm sorry. Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sorry. I try to scare you, man. Is she okay?

[Shannon]

Oh, no. He's got to deal with that at lunch.

[Zach Amico]

Sorry about that.

[Shannon]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man. The only thing that would be worse is if she was normal and he scared her that way.

[Jorge]

Wow. That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God. Imagine she was just like. So what do you want? You know, I was thinking about, like, an eggplant parmesan.

[Shannon]

Oh, my God. But you have to deal with that all day now.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that sucks.

[Shannon]

Terrible.

[Zach Amico]

No, that. I don't want to be mean. Poor dad. That's his. That's all day every day.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Every little thing that scares her. Now you can't even get a kid's meal without her crying.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God. That poor guy. What a. What Heroes the parents are that. Deal with that.

[Shannon]

God bless him. That's a lot of anti. Forever alcohol.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Forever.

[Shannon]

Yeah. They said she'd only lived till 17.

[Zach Amico]

She's 35. Shank. We see it one more time. I just.

[Shannon]

But she doesn't look.

[Zach Amico]

She's got a. She's got a silly walk. Yeah, but you don't put it together. She could just be limping.

[Shannon]

Yeah, it looks like she has back pain. That right there, though.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Jorge]

Oh, God.

[Shannon]

I'm sorry. The hot girls just walk right past her.

[Zach Amico]

Not even helping.

[Shannon]

I'm sorry, man.

[Zach Amico]

I tried to scare you, man. Is he okay? Is he all right?

[Shannon]

Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Well, that guy is so angry.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he's.

[Shannon]

He's had enough of her shit.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. And he just had to watch five genetically good women walk by and be like, oh, what's going on here?

[Shannon]

I can't have a daughter that could wear a green dress without picking at it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, holy.

[Shannon]

Dude, I just like you. I've just. I'm thinking, like, now they're. They're at lunch. They can't enjoy it because she's like, don't really get me.

[Zach Amico]

Now she's gonna be scared of bushes.

[Shannon]

Jesus. Walk past an oak tree without in her pants.

[Zach Amico]

This poor ninny is gonna be scared. Poor is scared of foliage for the rest of her life.

[Shannon]

Wait till fall comes and they turn orange.

[Zach Amico]

Jesus Christ. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our good friends@you kratom.com home of the $60 kilo. Stop going to bodega smoke shops and gas stations and getting a little bit of Kratom at a time. And you barely even know what's in there. When you go to yocratum.com they have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas Digital. And if you don't use Kratom, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for one of its many purposes, please. Yocratum.com Home of the $60 kilo. There's no promo code needed. Why? It's already the best deal in the world to Kratom. A whole kilo. A kilo. A kilo delivered right to your door for just 60 smackers. One more time, guys, that's yocratum.com home of the $60 kilo. Now let's get back into the program. All right, we're almost done. We're gonna do one or two more things before we get out of here.

[Shannon]

I would get her a Chia Pet for Christmas jump.

[Zach Amico]

All right, Marilyn. Oh, no. Let me save that for Derek.

[Shannon]

Oh, no. What is it?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, it was Maryland man charging after telling his friend he had a girl from him, then dressing up as a woman.

[Shannon]

Oh, I saw that story.

[Zach Amico]

I want to say I'm doing it. I'm taping with Derek Gaines. If I want to. I want to say I want to save that for him. I think you understand.

[Jorge]

I just did, like, a huge Nerf fight with him. It was so fun. We. And, like, a rework space. It was someone's birthday, and him and a bunch of comedians just had, like, a ton of, like, Nerf guns. And, like, we did, like, a zombie version, like a capture. It was awesome. It was the most.

[Zach Amico]

Was there actors being the zombies?

[Jorge]

No, it was, like, half of us would be zombies, and there'd be, like, specific rules of, like, how you can, like, tag people to kill them or.

[Zach Amico]

That's really fun.

[Jorge]

Where was it? It was that, like, a rework type thing in, you know, like, midtown or something, like two levels. It was. Yeah, it was so cool.

[Zach Amico]

Anyway, when I used to do the.

[Shannon]

What a great idea.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

When I used to do the zombie events, we got offered this fucking job. It was like a paintball place, and they wanted to have, like, zombie hunting.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then they gave. It was like, dude, the money sucked.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it literally was like, you walk around and you're just a target.

[Jorge]

No.

[Zach Amico]

And people take. It would literally be like, the Nerf.

[Shannon]

Guns feel a lot better.

[Zach Amico]

It was just people lighting you up for eight hour shifts, and you're not wearing a suit. Nothing you have on, like a vested shit.

[Jorge]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But, like, people.

[Shannon]

You know, skin.

[Zach Amico]

You know, people are trying to fuck you up.

[Jorge]

Yeah, That's. Those hurt to get you in the inner thigh.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Fuck that, dude.

[Jorge]

That reminds me of another. I saw this other video of. I think he had, like, a bush suit like that, but he was just, like, sniping people on the paint gun where, like, they couldn't find him. And everyone's just like, what? Like, where's this coming from?

[Shannon]

Achilles suit. I love those things. I wear one when I hunt. It's so much fun where you feel like you're getting ready to do special ops. Do you want to wear.

[Zach Amico]

Do you put it on in the woods or do you walk out in it?

[Shannon]

No, I have to put it out, like, during these months, September and shit like that. It's so fucking hot in that suit that you want to die. I've worn that suit, like, in the middle of September. And I had to. I had to stop. I had to walk out of the woods, dude. I was like. I was starting to go. Like, I was getting woozy and shit. And I'm like. I was trying to draw back the bow, and I couldn't hold it straight. I was like. I had to walk out. In the winter, it's so much fun to wear, but the summer, it fucking kills you, man.

[Zach Amico]

Is there a separate winter? Summer one.

[Jacob Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[Shannon]

You got. You could hunt all the way from September to February.

[Zach Amico]

No, but, I mean, the suits. Do they make, like, a winter suit?

[Shannon]

Oh, they do. They make heavier ones, but this one's made for, like, fall. But I'll wear it in the summer because there's so many leaves around that you could just blend right in. And they don't even see you.

[Zach Amico]

They'll walk, right? Yeah. Obviously.

[Shannon]

You could take out a knife and just go, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You scared, autistic deer.

[Shannon]

That's more rewarding.

[Jorge]

I'd be, like, worried, like, other hunters wouldn't see me and would, like, shoot me. I guess that probably doesn't happen that often, but.

[Shannon]

Oh, you can't do it during gun season. You can only do it with a bow.

[Jorge]

I see.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, that makes sense, because nobody could see you.

[Jorge]

Just shoot.

[Zach Amico]

What is the. What is the season? Cut off.

[Shannon]

The bow season goes all the way to the end. But the gun season's from. Fucking gun season now. From the beginning of December, and then it stops for three weeks until the beginning of January, and then it's all the way to February, the gun season. But BO Is always open.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, I see Doug and I have connected over the year. We both watch a lot of ballistics.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

A lot of gun testing.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

A lot of those, like, dummies that have all the real organs and what guns do. What guns do to them.

[Shannon]

And my favorite one was the cannonball you sent me. Still, how it just. The guy's chest, he was wearing a suit of armor. They shot him with, like, an old Civil War, like, cannonball. And it's just a hole this big. And, like, you just saw the organs get pushed behind the.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, that was canon. We have a few. We have. There was a. A headshot one.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know when the brain fell out.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

It was with. It was with the.50 caliber handgun. Shot the head and the brain just dripped down the side.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

The crater about this wide.

[Zach Amico]

And the guy's head, it looked like a cartoon. Like, wow. If if it happened in a cartoon, you would go, that's silly.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

That's the only way to describe the way his liver just melted. It's like. That's hilarious. We also watch, like, the animal testing the groundhogs.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that's. You got to do that. We found out, because people get. They do things with, like, gophers or meerkat. Like, not meerkats, but, like, gophers and shit. Where they'll hire somebody. Yeah. Prairie dogs. That's what I'm thinking of.

[Shannon]

There's too many.

[Zach Amico]

Where they'll hire, like, a sniper to kill them all and be like, this is cruel. But in reality, it's ranchers, because those things dig holes.

[Jorge]

Oh, I see.

[Zach Amico]

And the livestock steps to them and breaks their legs. And then they. They're. They can't raise them anymore.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

So they have to get up to clear out the. So they don't have the holes in prairie or whatever.

[Jorge]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Did you find the cannonball?

[Unknown]

I don't know that I'm searching this.

[Jorge]

Right.

[Unknown]

I put cannonball into suit of armor, and then I put ballistic testing. I don't think I'm searching.

[Zach Amico]

Let me see the. Let me see the results. Good.

[Shannon]

That looks like it right up there in the red, isn't it? This is that way. Shoots him with a cannonball.556.

[Jorge]

This, in particular is M193ammunition.

[Zach Amico]

So we're gonna take some shots and see what happens.

[Shannon]

It's just. 556. That's not it. These bastards, they probably got rid of it.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

And probably didn't want to show, even if it's. YouTube has been getting really fucking. Really, really annoying with all this censoring of certain things.

[Zach Amico]

Like, we about talking about radit. Well, we're watching ratting videos.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So there's people that, like, they take. They have, like, terror, like, rat terriers.

[Shannon]

Jack Russell's.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And they trained.

[Shannon]

They're.

[Zach Amico]

They're, like, super trained to kill rats. And either. So they'll have farmers be like, I have a crazy rat infestation. And they'll bring, like, 10 of those.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then they line them up at the end, and it's like 500.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But they'll also go to, like, they.

[Jorge]

Kill 500 rats the hood.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And if it's, like a bad rat problem in a building, they just let the dogs out in, like, the alleyway.

[Jacob Williams]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And they just start fucking.

[Shannon]

Dude, they are. They're so cute, these little Jack Russells. They look like little tiny lap Dog. But Jack Russell's have so. Like, those little bastards are so muscular.

[Jorge]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

And that's what.

[Zach Amico]

That's what sport was.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

And they're fucking. And they're.

[Zach Amico]

That.

[Shannon]

They just have this thick little chest and these wide fucking legs, and they're sharp aliens.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like spears.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Damn.

[Shannon]

And, dude, they just. They'll go on the farm and, like, I was watching a guy who's pickaxing the fucking field, and he was breaking up the rat tunnels. And these dogs are just sitting there, like. And then as soon as the rats run out, do they grab them, bite them, and they shake them.

[Zach Amico]

They shake the fucking shit out of them.

[Shannon]

And it's so fast. It was like. You're like, holy shit.

[Zach Amico]

But then they know to put it down.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shannon]

Once it's.

[Zach Amico]

They're, like, super trained, once it stops.

[Shannon]

Moving, they put it down.

[Jorge]

I feel like they could definitely use those in New York on the subway.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. This is like. This is a group in New York that does it.

[Jorge]

Oh, they do it. So they do this around.

[Zach Amico]

And the cutest dogs.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Yeah. That is very cute.

[Shannon]

Get off the ground.

[Jorge]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

There's one in there. There's one in there. Going to come around the back. There's a big warren over there.

[Shannon]

There's like, sometimes 30, 40 of them.

[Zach Amico]

I want everybody on leash until we're.

[Shannon]

All set up and then we push.

[Jorge]

Damn.

[Shannon]

Oh, it's on Vice. Look at that. Look at that. I would watch this all day. I want to train the dog to do this. But he's touching it, though.

[Zach Amico]

That's disgusting.

[Jorge]

Yeah. Why are they holding it?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I wouldn't hold it.

[Zach Amico]

They're huge.

[Shannon]

Yeah. It's a football.

[Jorge]

No gloves.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. That's a Bronx Rat thing. Well, we just saw one, Shannon, what was it? 21 inches, I think.

[Unknown]

22 inches. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Where was that again?

[Unknown]

In England.

[Zach Amico]

In England. They found one in somebody's house, dude.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It was 22 fucking inches. It was bigger than the dogs.

[Shannon]

Fucking gigantic, man.

[Zach Amico]

You had to see that. It was in a fucking plastic bag. Yeah, it was. It was like, the size of the dog.

[Shannon]

Dude. I would love to. Fucking. Didn't New York City also, like, want to.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, there it is.

[Shannon]

What the.

[Jorge]

Jeez. That's crazy.

[Shannon]

That's. That's not one of them, like, nutrients.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's a small. That. It's the size of a fucking small dog.

[Shannon]

Holy shit. What killed it?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Unknown]

A pest control. They got it.

[Shannon]

Dude, get the out of here. That's too much. Yeah, I'd be. I'd be like, oh, I'm getting the. Out of here. Hate rats.

[Jorge]

There's also the rat king, where like their tails get.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jorge]

Like they had one of those in that movie together, actually, but yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, did they?

[Jorge]

Yeah, in the opening. Just a side scene or whatever.

[Zach Amico]

They had that in 30 rod. They talk about the racking of 30 rock too.

[Shannon]

How does that happen? How do they fucking think?

[Jorge]

They're just like. Yeah. Like in the. Living in the wall for too long, I'd imagine.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Just sneaking by each other and then going up and over and up and over and.

[Shannon]

Rats are retarded.

[Zach Amico]

They're. I'm so glad I've never heard. I guess. I guess I've always had the cats.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I've dealt with every other. My building.

[Jorge]

Yeah. I've had mice in some of my apartment. One time in Chicago, a mouse, like, ran across the kitchen. I like, had to stomp on it to kill it. That was.

[Shannon]

Oh, I would have so much fun if I saw rats in my fucking apartment. I mean, I don't want it, but, dude, I would buy next day one of the CO2 airsoft rifles and just sit there on my table with a tray of peanut butter on the ground.

[Zach Amico]

In a ghillie suit. He'd have the ghillie suit on inside.

[Shannon]

Exactly. It's the same. It's the same color as my table. I get myself painted so it looks.

[Zach Amico]

You're dressed like cherry from TV's Playhouse.

[Shannon]

I would have so much fun.

[Zach Amico]

My fucking building's been a goddamn. They I've telling us a bunch, but they knocked down the building next to me.

[Shannon]

Oh, so you got roaches everywhere.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. That's absolutely fucking bru.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

One time I had like a giant roach water bug thing in my apartment. I kept, like, trying to kill it and it kept, like, surviving. Like, I would, like, hit it with a br. I'm like, all right, it's good. And then it would, like, come back to. It was like a horror movie.

[Shannon]

I hate how they do that too. They call roaches water bugs. That's fucking bullshit.

[Zach Amico]

That's what they fucking played my goddamn lobby right now.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There's like an exterminator sign up sheet.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And somebody wr. What about these water bugs? Which is like, them not being nice because they don't want to say roaches.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But they've been fucking. And it's. I get on top of it.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then it's just another fucking.

[Shannon]

You can't.

[Jacob Williams]

Man.

[Shannon]

Anytime they do construction anywhere, like, same thing with my apartment. Even though it's in Jersey. Anytime they do construction, they start rattling the walls. You get this influx of fucking roaches in your goddamn apartment. I can't stand it.

[Zach Amico]

And I put out the. I put out, like, peppermint oil and. Because I wanted to be safe for the cat. Oh, that's because I don't want to, like, just spray raid.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Get roach bait. Cats.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Shannon]

Roach bait.

[Zach Amico]

No, I got. I got bait and I got traps now.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But it's just still a fucking.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

I fucking hate this city. Fucking disgusting, man.

[Zach Amico]

But I've never had. I had. I had the one mouse a couple years ago. My. My cat, Cuss, just fucking ran at me, like, got it, dude. I never even saw it a lot. It was. It was a little one.

[Jorge]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

But if I was. I was. My. My wife wasn't home, so I was shitting with the door open. Naturally.

[Shannon]

Not a boy.

[Zach Amico]

And I see Gus running it, and he has a ton of little mice toys. He, like. He plays fetch with his mice.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So he runs in. I'm like, oh, you got one of your mice dog? And he's running, and he's running at me. You know, like when Kramer has the hot soup.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He's, like, running, and he's juggling this mouse. I go, when we get you that one. And I go, when do we get him a realistic rubber mouse? And then I realize he's just got a mouse corps. So mid. Shit. I stand up and I slam the door because he's running right at me. And I slammed. And I hear him collide with the door. So now I'm sitting on the toilet with a shitty ass.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then I just feel my foot, like, tickle. He slid the mouse under the door and put it on my foot, and thank God I was already on the toilet.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because my body's reaction to mouse on foot is apparently immediately launch. Liquid shit out of me. And then I was afraid to touch it because I'm a giant pussy.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I put it in a toilet paper roll.

[Shannon]

Well, you're not supposed to touch it with your hands.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I took the cardboard roll and I put it around it, and I used that as a carrier.

[Shannon]

You're not supposed to touch those fucking things. That guy handling the rats. Those cause the plague. Yes. Bot flies out of the size of my thumb.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. That's another thing I've been. What my fucking Instagram has been bot flies getting take out of dogs.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Holy shit. Those things are fucking big Fucking Jack.

[Shannon]

They look like egg rolls when they look up.

[Zach Amico]

Bot fly removed from dog and we'll end it on this. I'm sorry. I should. I should have vamped a little. That was. That was on me. Shannon, I will not hold you accountable. I didn't give you enough time.

[Unknown]

We're gonna have to skim to this a little bit. This is the most disgusting thing I've ever put my eyes on.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Oh, those are ticks on them too.

[Zach Amico]

It looks like this wasn't just a.

[Unknown]

Necessary step in treatment.

[Shannon]

Those are ticks.

[Unknown]

It was also our way of showing and care. A message to his weary eyes that from now on he won't be abandoned again.

[Shannon]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

You can see if you can find one, like a compilation maybe. Oh.

[Unknown]

Oh, they're coming out. Okay, I'll find another.

[Zach Amico]

You got it.

[Jorge]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, it's. Some of them are so big.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And the dog, like, looks at it like. That was in me.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

They're huge. They're like my thumb. I've seen those. And then, like, the way.

[Zach Amico]

Familiar with this?

[Shannon]

Smoke them?

[Jorge]

No, I don't think I've seen this before.

[Zach Amico]

Do these things get. I guess there's something like, lasered in them?

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Oh, geez.

[Zach Amico]

They're like larval.

[Shannon]

It's a bot fly and it lays their fucking egg inside the flesh and it just pops out. Then the waste. I've seen some people get. It's the same thing, I think, isn't it? They put like a. They put something over and they blow smoke into it and it pops and it gets the larva out.

[Jorge]

Oh, geez.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, any luck?

[Unknown]

I'm seeing a lot of people. Ones.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Shannon]

That works.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

That usually happens in Brazil.

[Jacob Williams]

Again.

[Shannon]

Yeah. How do you let that happen?

[Jorge]

Oh, God. What the hell?

[Zach Amico]

Wow. The worst would be is if you accidentally cut it and it goes back in.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Jorge]

Laid an egg in with that thing.

[Shannon]

Look at that. Still going.

[Jorge]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

Wow.

[Jorge]

That's disturbing.

[Shannon]

How does that not cause an infection?

[Jorge]

It's like an alien.

[Shannon]

I think there was another one right above that. How do you have two? You disgusting.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe she was camping or swimming or something.

[Shannon]

I feel like you have to live on the street for that to happen.

[Jacob Williams]

I hope.

[Jorge]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

You are a star. You are the Bear Gryllis of the female world. You really are.

[Shannon]

More than one.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

Gotta hurt.

[Shannon]

I know. I know that there's a few women that would love to pop that out of your arm.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God. That's fucking brutal. All right, well, thank you, guys. So did you. Actually, before I did. Did you see this? I really want. I kind of want to get my chick one. They make, like, heads that are full of blackheads. Oh, yeah.

[Shannon]

Pop them.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That looks really fun.

[Shannon]

That's some kind of ADHD thing, isn't it?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Girls love popping pimples.

[Shannon]

I think I know where that comes from. This is just something I read. This sounds completely retarded. But it makes sense that when we were monkeys, right, we used to. Female monkeys used to pull ticks out of fur and stuff and eat them. So that's why, apparently that DNA is still in humans and they pull.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow. That makes a lot of sense.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that's what.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Jacob Williams]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's really fun. Hey, we learned something here on the Zoo. A little bit of animal facts. And thank you so much for my guests, Jacob Williams and Doug Uram.

[Unknown]

Oh, look, he's making him suck his own dick.

[Zach Amico]

I appreciate you guys, and we'll see you on Wednesday here on the Morning Zoo. Goodbye.

[Doug Uram]

The bum's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco, chug it down Just like the favorite obese clown. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Akamiko morning, too. It's Akamiko. Work, work Morning.