0035. Tim Butterly

Summary

The Luis and Zac Show – Episode 0035: Tim Butterly

Release Date: February 9, 2025

Hosted by GaS Digital Network, The Luis and Zac Show delivers a no-holds-barred comedic experience spearheaded by Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico. In Episode 0035, featuring special guest Tim Butterly, the trio dives deep into personal anecdotes, relationship dynamics, societal observations, and humorous takes on contemporary issues—all laced with their signature unfiltered humor.

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1. Guest Introduction and Show Adjustments

The episode kicks off with a hiccup as Jorge, the producer, mentions that Dom is engineering the show for Shannon today, leading to playful ribbing from Luis and Zac. When their initial co-host, Yunus Papash, bails unexpectedly 45 minutes before the show, Luis and Zac pivot seamlessly, deciding to host Tim Butterly as their guest. Luis praises Tim's reputation in the comedy industry, exclaiming, “Tim from Dad Meet Tim Butterly Show. One of the best in the biz. Great friend. Good dude.” (02:14)

2. Martial Arts Banter

A significant portion of the early segment features a humorous debate between Luis and Zac about their hypothetical combat skills. They discuss various forms of combat, from stick fighting to armored combat, highlighting their playful competitiveness:

• Luis: “I think there's a chance. Look, if Harrington, I'm going to find out.” (02:36)
• Zac: “I think you’re an idiot.” (02:58)

Their exchange underscores the show’s lively and irreverent tone, blending martial arts talk with comedic insults.

3. Relationship Dynamics and Personal Life

Tim Butterly opens up about his personal life, sharing that he and his wife are celebrating their 16th anniversary tomorrow. Zac expresses admiration for Tim’s long-term relationship:

• Zac: “I've been a married man my entire life. Real sweet.” (09:08)
• Luis: “That's why I like when a girl changes up her look every once in a while. Variety is the spice of life.” (11:44)

The conversation delves into their perspectives on relationships, dating habits, and parenting, with humorous anecdotes about interactions with their children regarding relationships and personal habits.

4. Parenting and Discussions on Drug Use

A substantial segment is dedicated to their roles as parents, particularly focusing on conversations with their teenage children about drug use and sexuality:

• Zac: “I had to talk with him about how it was, you know, how porn can take over your life.” (26:04)
• Luis: “I did that with James when we took him to Universal Studios and I was smoking a vape. She called me out on it in front of everyone.” (59:51)

Both hosts recount their experiences addressing sensitive topics with their children, blending sincerity with their characteristic humor.

5. Influencer Misconduct and Racial Slurs

The show examines a viral incident involving an influencer who hurled racial slurs at valet workers in Beverly Hills. Luis and Zac dissect the situation with their typical candidness:

• Luis: “Wet back is pretty mild.” (39:25)
• Zac: “If my wife was doing standup and I was in the green room and someone heckled her, I'd be out there in one second like, you got a problem?” (35:55)

Their analysis highlights the absurdity they perceive in the influencer’s actions and the broader implications of public apologies and accountability.

6. Super Bowl and Political Commentary

The hosts briefly touch upon the Super Bowl, discussing political figures' involvement and societal reactions:

• Luis: “I believe that they're fixing the Super Bowls to Taylor Swift wins.” (06:05)
• Zac: “It's a way better way to live your life.” (05:41)

Their commentary offers a satirical take on the intersection of politics, entertainment, and sports.

7. Comedy Scene and Open Mics

Luis and Zac critique the current state of the comedy scene, particularly the prevalence of crowd work and heckling:

• Luis: “Most people that put out those crowd work videos just can't write fucking jokes, right?” (31:14)
• Zac: “Mastering the craft.” (31:13)

They express frustration with the trend of comedians relying on audience interactions rather than solid comedic material, emphasizing their commitment to evolving their craft.

8. Substance Use Anecdotes

The hosts openly discuss their experiences with various substances, including weed and ketamine, presenting a mix of candid confession and humor:

• Luis: “I don't know. I've been smoking a vape... It's a real thing for you.” (63:29)
• Zac: “Nothing disassociative around the children.” (61:28)

These segments provide an unfiltered glimpse into their personal lives, maintaining the show’s edgy and unapologetic tone.

9. Closing Remarks and Future Content

As the episode wraps up, Luis and Zac encourage listeners to engage with their content and upcoming events, maintaining their promotional yet humorous style:

• Luis: “Come see me live on the road. Bring five friends.” (44:56)
• Zac: “Check out dad meat.” (43:03)

They conclude by emphasizing their commitment to delivering exclusive content to subscribers and teasing future episodes tailored for their dedicated audience.

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Notable Quotes:

• Luis: “Maybe it was because you know what.” (02:09)
• Zac: “I think you’re an idiot.” (02:58)
• Luis: “Defecated on her ex boyfriend's clothing after a dispute. That's a crazy bitch right there.” (07:35)
• Zac: “They do drugs in there, he's a contained system.” (65:48)
• Luis: “Women are so badass, dude.” (08:46)
• Zac: “Your hands together in front of the priest.” (65:13)

Conclusion

Episode 0035 of The Luis and Zac Show exemplifies the hosts' commitment to pushing boundaries through candid conversations and relentless humor. Featuring Tim Butterly, the episode navigates through personal lives, societal critiques, and unorthodox discussions with a blend of sharp wit and unapologetic honesty. For listeners seeking an intense, unfiltered comedic experience, Luis and Zac deliver a memorable and engaging show.

Transcript

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fill her up. You're listening to the GAS Digital Network. You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night, Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko, red dot, head shot hit a snipe for the Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper. And it came to attack, spilling crack on the track Spin straight facts. Yeah. What's up, baby? Boys shot. You turned it down very low, Jorge. It's fine. I like to feel it a little bit when we get into the show.

[Jorge]

It's actually Dom's engineering today. I'm producing for Shannon.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hey, dumb Dom. Do the job right. Oh, wow. My gun clock didn't go off there. Who's. Who's in charge of the show? Who's in charge of the show? Jorge, because the soundboard's not working here.

[Jorge]

Had it again. Yeah, it was just low the first time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that a Dom thing?

[Tim Butterly]

I'll.

[Jorge]

I'll take credit for that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it. You a dumb fool. I don't know any other things to say. Domination. Great show plan today. I will say Yunus Papash bailed on the show just 45 minutes ago. The actual disrespect. And I'm going to. I'm going to quote Kurt Metzger here from some diner monkey from Ass island has the nerve to disrespect the Lewis and Zach show. It's not good.

[Zach Amico]

It really hurt my feelings.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe it was because you know what.

[Zach Amico]

It felt like, who all going to be there type thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He's like, oh, shit, I forgot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, it was pretty crazy. I mean, look, maybe it's a better show without him, who knows? I like Giannis, but he did fucking bail. We tried to get a couple of people and I didn't want to just invite anybody in, so I called Timmy and said, you know what? Let's just do a show with Timmy as a guest, okay? Tim Butterly is a goddamn king. Tim from dad Meet Tim Butterly Show. One of the best in the biz. Great friend. Good dude.

[Zach Amico]

That's extremely nice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

One and one in combat between me and him.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, we're. We're even.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Stevens, we have to figure out our final battle.

[Zach Amico]

I know. I. I want to do stick fighting so bad. Like African stick fighting, where you stand in, like, a dirt circle and you got these long sticks and you're just wailing on each other.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like, I don't like being hit with sticks.

[Zach Amico]

Harrington is taking over armored combat.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I would. Armor combat.

[Zach Amico]

We could armored combat.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, dude, I think I beat you in armor combat.

[Zach Amico]

I think you. You're an idiot. I. I've been to armored combat, Dougie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Your jiu jitsu skills mean nothing in armored combat.

[Zach Amico]

That's what you think.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's.

[Zach Amico]

First of all, you with the gear on, you weigh 290 pounds.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay. And that sounds great.

[Zach Amico]

There's something.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Zach puts it on, he loses weight.

[Zach Amico]

And they, you know, there's a little bit of, you know, cudgel swinging and like that, but eventually they just get close enough and whoever knows how to, like, just put someone on the ground wins.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So I think there's a chance. Look, if. If Harrington, I'm going to find out.

[Zach Amico]

You'Ve been training in fucking, you know, mace fighting for the past two years.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, we'll see. Can you choose your weapon?

[Zach Amico]

I believe so.

[Tim Butterly]

Training in mace fighting is what Lewis called sex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We have an incredible show plan that.

[Zach Amico]

Got a fucking drop, dude. What is going on here?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you know. Here, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was good. We have an incredible show planned today. Either way, without Giannis being here. Love having Tim Butter lean down. You doing anything else in the city today?

[Zach Amico]

I came up just for this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

You know, wow. What a guy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Giannis Papas couldn't be bothered to come a half an hour from his place.

[Zach Amico]

Couldn't roll out of his apartment and stroll down here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, pretty up.

[Zach Amico]

I drove up. Congestion pricing, by the way.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

That's what I do. Yeah, I'm not tooting my own horn or anything.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm just saying, how much. How much more is it for the congestion pricing? I don't even know.

[Zach Amico]

I have no idea. $100?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Could be.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think it's like $10 more. Something like that. But it does make it so there's no traffic downtown anymore. Yeah, I mean, I'd rather pay an extra $10 every time I come in. To not sit in 15, 20 minutes.

[Zach Amico]

Of traffic when you're driving to New York at once every other week. It's the best idea ever.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Sorry to all of you people. What were you doing driving to New York every day anyway?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, I drive to lower Manhattan twice a day on Mondays and Wednesdays. I go home and then I come back, you're ruined. Yeah, it's over for you. It's a big problem.

[Zach Amico]

Get on the fucking subway, man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, look, we have an incredible show planned. Lots of things to talk about. Jorge is filling in for Shannon right now. They keep on just throwing us fucking producers like it doesn't even matter. There's no rhyme or reason.

[Zach Amico]

Who's they aren't you in charge?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, but I compartmentalize myself. So I'm complaining about Louis J. Gomez, the one of the owners of Gas.

[Zach Amico]

Deja Van Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Is fucking.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is fucking. Yeah, but I call him pig vomit Talent Louis. Yeah, this is Talent Lewis.

[Zach Amico]

This is regular vomit Louis.

[Tim Butterly]

Big shit Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shout out to everyone watching live on the Gas Digital Network. Gas digitalnetwork.com. if you guys are watching this on YouTube or anywhere else, you guys should know we do an uncensored ad free version with a live premiere, racist live chat, and a bonus episode every Friday. So go subscribe to Gas Digital if you like uncensored content. All we show boobs, we show cunts, we show buttholes, we show all that stuff, dude. And we bleep out a lot of words so you know you're no N words on the YouTube version.

[Zach Amico]

Mm. They're gonna get one in this one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe. No N words. A perfect world, I call it. Come on, folks. Come on, folks. We are. You're. You. We do have the super bowl this weekend. Are you excited at all, Tim? Do you watch football?

[Zach Amico]

No, my. I'm excited for all my boys for their sexual release when everyone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everyone's from Philly.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And I guess what's the story is that it's fixed against us because it's Taylor Swift, I guess.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But that's. I believe that the earth is flat more than. I believe that they're fixing the Super Bowls to Taylor Swift wins.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. Well, I mean, these are unscrupulous people, you know?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You see the kicker that got in trouble for all the massage parlor accusations.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What do you mean? They. They log when you go to a massage parlor.

[Zach Amico]

No, he was. He kept. He kept coming while getting massaged and leaving cum on the table.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, that's wild.

[Zach Amico]

And I don't even know if he was like asking to get released.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think they were just.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's like a good Christian boy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And when I get a regular massage, I do turn over and I try to give myself a rock hard boner.

[Zach Amico]

I know, I know. You get your hips off the table and elevate your.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I really do. I'm like, oh, yeah, Let it. Let it be seen.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God. Imagine if a woman did this for free.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Imagine.

[Zach Amico]

Imagine affection.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why don't I just date a fucking massage therapist or a chef? That's a better way to be. Why do I date all of these dumb bitches who can't do anything for me?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you want someone that brings something to the table.

[Tim Butterly]

Because you have a type.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Well, look, I'll tell you right now, I'm very excited about a lot of these stories. Jorge did a great job of putting together a prep sheet but not telling me anything that's on it. So this is the first time I'm saying it. Thank you, Jorge.

[Jorge]

Of course, Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So let's see. This is one that's been on the table for a few days now, and it's kind of fucked up. So there's a woman who defecated on her ex boyfriend's clothing after a dispute. That's a crazy bitch right there.

[Zach Amico]

Especially since she's gonna have to wash it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, right.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe make it work for your ex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, let's see this video. Jorge, you want to post a video of me taking a. On the toilet? Here's your. You ready? You ready? No, hold up. Wait a minute, Wait a minute. She got a nice little side butt. Wow.

[Zach Amico]

We got a butt and an N word. This is incredible.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh. Oh, it's wet. You want to post me taking a. You want your back? You want to post me taking a? Be wiling.

[Zach Amico]

Did he post a video for taking a. I'm assuming.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can we see that video? Is it. What's the video that he posted? Was there any more information surrounding the story? Ore.

[Jorge]

Yes. So essentially, what she said in the story, her boyfriend started, like, making fun of her using social media, and in retaliation, she was like, I'm gonna post this. But we don't. The. The original video that the guy posted can't be found anywhere.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Tim Butterly]

So essentially, she was embarrassed that people were gonna see her shitting, so she made a viral video of her shitting. Now that everyone's seen.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Women are so badass, dude. Yeah, That's.

[Zach Amico]

Woman destroys ex boyfriend.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at me in my eyes. Look at me in my eyes, Washington.

[Zach Amico]

Look at my turds.

[Tim Butterly]

That would be like, me going live and being like, I'll show you how little a dick can get.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's wild. That's a crazy. Timmy, you've been with your wife for a long time.

[Zach Amico]

Very long time. Our 16th anniversary is tomorrow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow. And your. Your oldest child is 17?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Hey, man, it worked out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's it. Tomorrow is your 16th anniversary. What are you doing for anything special?

[Zach Amico]

I'll probably write her something very nice about how much I love her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like a note. Like a handwritten note.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Women. Women are. Women are so retarded.

[Zach Amico]

Drives her wild.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You give her a handwritten note. I remember one time I was a chick, and I broke things off with her with a handwritten note. And it, like, touched her soul, and she liked me even more. I swear to God. I wrote her a handwritten note. She was from la, and I sent it to her. And she was like. That was, like, the sweetest thing ever. Like, you know, if you're ever available, I really want to be with you. And I was like, I just told you I don't want to be with you via handwritten note.

[Zach Amico]

Insane.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Tim Butterly]

You spray a little your cologne on the note.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I wipe my ass with it. I put it under the covers and fart on it. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

See, I don't want a handwritten note. If I'm dating a chicken, she gives me a handwritten note. She's giving me work to do.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they're not as good as.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I want her to record an audio file. I listen. I listen to audiobooks. I'm not gonna fucking read a goddamn note if she records an audio file, I will listen to it. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Get it narrated by Mark Hamill. Big guns.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Your feelings about me?

[Louis J. Gomez]

John Malkovich narrates.

[Zach Amico]

I'm. I'm dry humping masseuse tables. I don't want a letter.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, I don't dry up the masseuse table. I turn over and I get my dick hard while she's, like, touching my. My legs and thighs. Oh.

[Zach Amico]

I thought you were pulsing down onto that and kind of doing the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, no, no.

[Tim Butterly]

That sort of. That holds for your face.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's. So. That's a really crazy bitch. I'm assuming you're. Mary Jo's not crazy. She's a normal crazy. Is she crazy?

[Zach Amico]

She's crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's the craziest thing she's ever done? I mean, you guys were young when you got together, so everyone in their 20s is a little bit fucking nuts. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I don't know if. If she's especially crazy or if every relationship has to go through a point where you have to, like, iron out the kinks and, you know, just a normal woman.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. But.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she was an absolute psychopath.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, women, when they get pregnant, as well, you don't. Here's the other thing about women. When they get pregnant, their hormones get all wonky and wackadoodle. You don't even know the woman you're gonna be with until she's actually had a baby.

[Zach Amico]

Absolutely.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So that's like. Oh, because they're different before they get pregnant. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then the thing is, they don't go back afterwards. They. They're not pregnant crazy anymore. But they're a new person. It's a third thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

After that, and then each pregnancy, it's like they forgot the last one. They go through the whole thing again. Then now she's on like, her. She's her seventh new person now since.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We have it kind of rules to be a dude. Like, dude, I'm a new chick.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty sweet, pretty man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. That's why I like when a girl changes up her look every once in a while.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shave the sometimes. Sometimes grow it in. You need variety. Variety is the spice of life.

[Zach Amico]

Your bedroom should look like a costume shop.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you date a lot of chicks before Mary Jo?

[Zach Amico]

No. I think you could read that on me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, no. You're a handsome guy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, well, thank you very much for saying so, but I've been. I've been a. An absolute spur Lord my entire life. Really? Yeah. There was. I was, I was not destined for greatness.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So you've not had a lot of sex with a lot of different women?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can you say the number of women you've had sex with?

[Zach Amico]

It's a small number. I wouldn't. I'm not gonna share anything that personal, but it's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Come on, you could share it.

[Zach Amico]

I would say less than a handful.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Less than a hand, so that's less than five. Yeah. You've had sex with less than five women? That's bonkers.

[Zach Amico]

I, I On paper, I guess it is, but I, I. Dude, I really lucked out with this lady.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, you did. It's great. It's a beautiful thing. I'm jealous.

[Tim Butterly]

Yeah, it's really sweet, actually.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude, I mean, sure, I'm sure. I'm neck deep in pussy. It just won't stop ending.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the thing. I, I don't have any, like, regrets over not having, like, a wild period because I was absolutely mortified of the idea of, like, romantic excursions and, and even putting any effort into that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's a lot.

[Zach Amico]

I've been married since, like, before Apps took off.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, it's also, you were married before you had any money as well, so.

[Zach Amico]

I still don't have any money.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you. I mean, you're doing all right. Come on. You're doing okay.

[Tim Butterly]

Congestion present.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, you're, you're not, like, completely desolate and broke. You can fucking take a trip.

[Zach Amico]

I'm better off than when I was working.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. 100%. Yeah. So you. Yeah, I, I, when you're young, though, there's no expectation of doing anything, like, crazy For a chick. You just take a chick to McDonald's, you can take a chick to Chipotle. And that's okay. When you're. When you're in my situation, you're single and you got a little bit of cashola. Now these want to I up. That's what I up. With my ex girlfriend, I started taking her to really nice places. And I shouldn't have done that. Day one. I should have been like, this is what it is. Chipotle, maybe Chick fil a once in.

[Tim Butterly]

A while outback on your birthday.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know, I really. I did that.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did the same thing with my son. Like, he's so used to going. I was. James, want to get some food? I was like, where do you want to go? He's like, capitol Grill. I was like, you suck my. You.

[Zach Amico]

You got grapple, girl.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This. I brought him to Capitol Grill again, maybe three weeks. It's been a while since we've been. And I was like, all right, well, let's go to Capitol Grill. And he literally goes, the chef go. Or the. The waiter goes, look, our today's special, blah, blah. And he was like, then we have a Japanese wagyu. And he goes, can I get that Oscar dude in with? All serious went, yeah, I'll get the wagu. I was like, you're not getting the wag. You don't know the difference between a wagu or a regular steak.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, that's how. That's what my daughter is now. She. She. I don't think she remembers how poor we've been and doesn't appreciate how poor we still are. So now she's just like, got expensive taste. She, you know, she'll run the menu at a place. I'm like, you're not even gonna eat all that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And so I do get kind of that part of it, you know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Still, I. I gotta be cheap. I gotta be cheap.

[Zach Amico]

With these handwritten letters and Taco Bell have carried me through my entire marriage.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Good for you, man. Well, congratulations to you and Mar much, man. Are you guys going anywhere? Doing anything special?

[Zach Amico]

No, we're pretty busy. So we're probably. If anything, we'll probably sneak away from the kids for like 45 minutes and go to nifty 50s, which is like a old timey diner, nice thing near us. It's around the corner from our house.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Love it.

[Zach Amico]

And then we'll go back to the house.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That is true love. That's what I needed to do, bro.

[Zach Amico]

We're one person or not a person. We're one thing. You know, it's not even like a lady I have feelings for. We've completely intertwined our entire existence together. It's the best ever.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Good for you guys. I'm sorry. No, no, don't be sorry. I, I'm. I'm very jealous. I can't find.

[Tim Butterly]

Very emotional there.

[Zach Amico]

I know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can't find love. This isn't, this is. I'm going. I'm looking at the wrong places.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, you know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, we got to tell you about this brand new sponsor which is Cornbread. Guys, Cornbread, they make incredible products. THC products, CBD products. They sent me the gummies. They have a gummy to go to sleep at night. It has 25 milligrams of CBD and 1 milligram of THC. And they put you right the out. They don't get you high. That's not what it's for. But they also have other products that have more THC in them. They have one to one ratio products as well. But genuine, genuinely incredible company. This is a lot of these products. They're taking the place of drinking. Everyone's drinking too much. Guess what? Drinking is poisoning your body. You should be taking thc, cbd. It's a way better way to live your life. So all you got to do right now is go to cornbreadhemp.com and use the promo code LAZ. When you check out, you're gonna save 30 off your order today at cornbreadhemp.com use that promo code LAZ. All right, where were we?

[Zach Amico]

Stop going to open mics.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's not that many. There's not that many open micro comedians anymore that I'm interested in.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like the wells run dry.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's a lot. They think I'm a rapist. They think I'm a.

[Zach Amico]

Are you seeing anybody right now? Kind of like seriously or just like, you know, I'm not talking about ladies who are not, I mean, serious.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But I do find, I do see that it's going down more serious route with one of the ladies that I've been talking to. And I almost gotta like, stop it. I gotta, I gotta.

[Zach Amico]

You know why you're self sabotaging?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because I should be single for a while. I should. What?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, you've been single forever. I don't even count your relationships as you being in a relationship.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why?

[Zach Amico]

Because you're kind of just.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's like cheat. Okay, whatever. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If you took a serious crack at it One time. I think you'd be surprised.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did the last one. I took a serious crack at that. Yeah, that last one. It was a very serious crack, man.

[Zach Amico]

Well, what do you. What went wrong?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know, she wasn't right for me.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, good try.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She just wasn't right. She wasn't the one.

[Zach Amico]

Get back on the horse.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Get off the horse. You'll eat a horde of water, but she'll start sucking your dick, come out of it. I don't want water. I want come.

[Zach Amico]

I don't even know why we came to the lake.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Who wants water when there's cum everywhere? Kind of sound delicious. Yeah, no, I gotta. I don't know. I gotta. I gotta be single for a while. Buy a house.

[Zach Amico]

You're getting old. You're running out of time. You're not getting old, you're running out of time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What do you mean? I'm not dying.

[Zach Amico]

The window is closing on. On you finding someone to spend the rest of your meaningful time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Now the beautiful part is girls in their late 20s, early 30s all want an old man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's what they like.

[Tim Butterly]

Is that what you're going for? Like 50 with like a 30 something?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think, yeah. Being 50 and having a 30 year old hot wife would rule.

[Zach Amico]

I think that would work for you for sure.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Tim Butterly]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, because once they hit 30, then they're thinking about having kids.

[Tim Butterly]

Wait, how old is James gonna be when you're 50?

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's in eight years. James will be 20.

[Tim Butterly]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Tim Butterly]

Yeah, and that's fine. That's coaching.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. James will be.

[Zach Amico]

Bring all your friends, James. It'll be cool.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Time.

[Tim Butterly]

I'm just saying you don't want it too close to James's age. Then it gets weird.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hold on, I'm getting hard. This is.

[Tim Butterly]

I'm saying if you're 60 and she's 30, if you hold out, then she's James's age, then it's weird.

[Zach Amico]

You hold out three years after that. Yeah, when you're 53, that's when you, you know, reap what you sow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I found James. You know who else he likes? I told you, he likes Beyonce. Looked in his phone again. Megan the Stallion. James is a little.

[Tim Butterly]

I guess it's hereditary.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He likes hot black chicks. It's wild. It's wild.

[Tim Butterly]

You know what? Good for him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Pull up. Megan. Thee stallion. I never thought she was hopping. I got to see what my son sees in her.

[Zach Amico]

You have to sign off on this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, we'll see if the prima. Nocta yeah, he likes Megan thee, stallion. I was like, what. What is going on with you?

[Zach Amico]

Damn. I have never. I haven't thought about crossing that barrier.

[Tim Butterly]

Are there a lot of black girls in his school?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Not really. I mean, he just likes.

[Tim Butterly]

Do you think maybe he has a crush on a black chick?

[Zach Amico]

What if he likes her music?

[Tim Butterly]

It's pretty hot, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, that's. That's what he's into.

[Tim Butterly]

Good for him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, that is great.

[Tim Butterly]

It is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's just. It's crazy to be. He wants like. I was like, james, what would you do with this woman? Expensive woman? Like that is. What could you possibly do with this woman? When I was young, I was just fantasizing about flat ass white chicks, you.

[Zach Amico]

Know, Dude, a friend's. A friend's daughter. It became, you know, all of our kids spent all their time together and it became known that our friend's daughter had a crush on Jason Momoa. It's like, do you know what Jason Momoa would do to a 12 year old girl?

[Tim Butterly]

There's a scene in Game of Thrones. We've seen what he would do.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's wild. Like, what are you. What are you kids gonna do with these fucking. These beasts? Jason Momoa would fucking tear you in two. Is that what you fantasize about? It would be torn in two by Jason Momoa. That's psychotic. But pull up some more pictures of a Megan thee, stallion. I gotta say, because I mean, she's pretty fucking toy. I gotta give it a. James. His taste is pretty solid, but I, because I, I showed him. I was like, we're. We do.

[Tim Butterly]

That's a wagyu black woman.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We do. We do kiss, marry, kill. That's what my sister does. Kiss Mary, kill. James. I mean, look at those thighs. Look at that ass.

[Tim Butterly]

Yeah, man, Good for him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James. What are you gonna do with that, you little pervert? You wanted to like, come on, little nigga, let's go. We're gonna get some capital grill.

[Zach Amico]

He would look like a Mario Kart character hanging off the back of her. Yeah. While she's trucking full speed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Tim Butterly]

He really looked like Diddy Kong trying to hang on the back of her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know those fucking, those videos with like, was like a monkey hanging onto his mother as the line's about to eat it. That's James just like grabbing her fucking ass. God bless his soul.

[Tim Butterly]

It looked like somebody tied a GI Joe to the back of a dog.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When did your, when did your son find porn? Do you know when he found it?

[Zach Amico]

Probably around 10, we found some Google searches that he didn't realize that, you know, history is, like, all completed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So that's the thing. People are like, oh, Louis, your son deletes his history. No, he doesn't, because he left Megan the Stallion and Beyonce in his history, so.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that was our. That was our first initiation of the talk. I said, hey, man, you have to stop Googling Lego sex on no. On shared devices.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that what he was?

[Zach Amico]

Something like Lego sex? And then I obviously, I think, like, boobs or something like that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he was getting, like, YouTube results of, like, stop motion Lego animation.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can we see some Lego sex right now, please?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think this is publicly available. But that was. That was it. That was when I sat him down, I was like, all right, here's how the rest of your life is going.

[Tim Butterly]

Lewis has a lot of Lego sex. When he has the girls, they scream, lego Lego.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, let's see. Lego sex. I didn't even know that was a category.

[Zach Amico]

I. I just as shocked as you are.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, my son's very innocent still. He's very innocent.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know, man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Not good. He's just. He's just.

[Zach Amico]

Look at his tastes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's looking at these built black women. That's it.

[Zach Amico]

I. I don't know, man. I hope he makes a lot of money.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I hope so, too. Or a little bit of money. Some of these, they look like that, but they don't. They're not expensive.

[Zach Amico]

Well, now you got to pay to even link up. What do you know? Now it's like, yo, what you. What are you doing? Why Wyd? And then they go, you got nails money? And it's like, yeah, you send them nails money, and then they come over and have sex with you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that what women are doing on, like, dating apps?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, no, I. Well, I see a lot of. I'm in a Twitter community called Bad Nigga Talk Uncensored, and they're constantly just, like, sharing what's happening on the ground. And it's just like, if you don't have $200, don't even fucking ask me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't even have a conversation, man. Yeah, yeah, that's. I'm glad. I don't use any dating apps or anything like that.

[Zach Amico]

You do it all in the real world.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Or you DM them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, they DM me.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They do.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've talked about this. I don't know how to even DM women anymore.

[Zach Amico]

Is that what all the gym selfies.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Are for, actually, for thirst traps? To get to DM me.

[Zach Amico]

Stop acting like it's just like, cool progress that you want bros to support you on that and just say, like, hey, give me. Give me a break, guys. I'm trying to get.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, that's not true. I. Because I. But I will say that there are a lot of women that like those photos.

[Zach Amico]

Okay?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm flexing. Do slow motion push ups.

[Zach Amico]

All right, dude, this is a way better explanation than. I'm just proud of my progress.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I am proud of my progress, but it's a combination of everything I'm. You know, I have. There's a bigger picture here, Tim. There's this. It's beyond. It's beyond just being proud of my.

[Zach Amico]

Where does this go? What's at the top of the mountain?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Coffee brand that boosts testosterone. Okay, you have to understand, I'm playing 3D Jew Chest.

[Zach Amico]

That's incredible. I'm leaving bait out for companies to send me, like, custom video game controllers. You're trying to get.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can you give me Lego sex, please?

[Zach Amico]

You could probably just search YouTube for it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That. That's what your son was looking at.

[Zach Amico]

No, I mean, that's nice, but that's pretty sweet.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's the chick from the Lego Movie. No, this is way over her mouth, too. That's hot. And she's handcuffed and her feet are tied.

[Tim Butterly]

And a butt plug.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What a pig.

[Zach Amico]

Total package.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I. You not. I did all of that with a girl recently. I got this thing that was. It's like a pole, and you attach it to her feet and you spread the pole and she can't close her legs.

[Zach Amico]

A curtain rod. I hung all my shirts up. That's a pretty productive afternoon.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And then I butt plugged her. And then I. It. I didn't tape her mouth, but I handcuffed her while I had that on her.

[Zach Amico]

Was it your butt plug or hers?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, it's her butt plug that I. She brought it over that I maintain at my house.

[Zach Amico]

You have custody of.

[Tim Butterly]

Well, it's next to her toothbrush.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it's at her house for two weeks, and then I keep it for two weeks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I like a butt plug. Not inmate me. Sure. I honestly probably would like a butt plug at me now that I've a little one. Yeah. Explored the fingers up my butt. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I could be convinced.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's. That's particularly gay, though. A butt plug with a little jeweled heart on the end of it. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Then it's only a matter of time before you have it in by yourself.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're just by yourself.

[Zach Amico]

I'm used to it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. So is there any better Lego sex? Like, Lego porn? There must be.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we're talking stop motion stuff.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh.

[Tim Butterly]

Like the White Stripes fell in love with a girl video. But porn?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Mm, I don't know.

[Tim Butterly]

It's like Lego animation.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Can we. Yeah. Can we see, like, Lego stop motion porn? Sounds pretty innocent.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, it's not gonna do anything for you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And what was the conversation you had with your son?

[Zach Amico]

I. I had the entire talk with him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Entire talk.

[Zach Amico]

I had the entire talk.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You cannot fuck Legos. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

This kind of stuff.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's see.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, almost exactly that. And I said, it's on.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's on.

[Zach Amico]

And I said. And then I, you know, I explained, like, regular pornography to him, and I was like, this stuff's gonna seem so fucking cool, and you're gonna feel like you are. You know, no one's got an. Any idea what's going on. We're all gonna know every time you jack off for the rest of your life. Yeah, we're all. It's always gonna be obvious.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But you know what's funny? You don't care when you're horny, because I remember, like, when I was younger, I would use the family computer in the dining room, and I would fucking just be beating my dick. My mom, my sister be walking around the apartment. I had, like, time it to where I was gonna.

[Zach Amico]

It got to the point where you would hear the doorknob on the whatever room you were in, and you'd be like, they might change their mind. Like, you wouldn't. Wouldn't be immediately closing the tab. You're like, huh. All right, fine. All F4.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. When you're. When you're horny, it's. You just make these stupid decisions.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So I had to talk with him about how it was, you know, it. I don't care how much it rules and how exciting it is, but, like, you. You have to avoid letting it, like, take over your entire life.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Was this forbidden? You said porn is forbidden in this.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't even say that. I just said. I also lied to him and said we have software that tells us everything you do on every device you ever.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's smart. That's smart.

[Zach Amico]

And I would never. I would. Never mind. I know people who read every text message in and out of their children's phones.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't read every text message, but I will go into a sex sometimes if it's just talking to.

[Zach Amico]

I don't even do that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, he's fucking 12. This is. How old is your son?

[Zach Amico]

He's 14 now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's 14 now. Wow. I can't believe James and your son are that close in age. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's so beautiful.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Your son's tall as Holy.

[Zach Amico]

Can't wait till we all go to Jamaica together.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We should doggy. We've been talking about it forever. We should. It's so much fun, dude. It's the best.

[Zach Amico]

Making the stallions everywhere.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. James. James, like, look at. Making us beef jerky. Right? Beef jerky. Right. Jerk chicken. I can't speak beef jerky.

[Tim Butterly]

You know what maybe inspired James's love of chocolate? Wasn't he staring at the picture of the black chick in Jamaica in the villa?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, he was, yeah. Yeah. There was just. In the villa that we rented in Jamaica, there was boy of the month. There was a. Just a poster of like. Like a basically naked chick, like, wearing, like, a Jamaican flag bikini, but her nipples were, like, popping out of it, and he would just stare at it. I'm like, james, hello. What are you doing? He's like, oh, nothing, dad. It's art.

[Zach Amico]

The composition about the rule of threes in photography.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I guess you just like what you like.

[Tim Butterly]

Rule of three fifths.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You just like what you like. When I was. When I was his age, who was like my go to.

[Tim Butterly]

No, I'm just saying there's stuff that, like, kind of sets you on a path too, though.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you get it imprinted.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Well, I think his mom also listens to exclusively, like, old timey R B in the house.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he's into the lyrics, that's all.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, can I have another coffee, please?

[Zach Amico]

And me too, please.

[Louis J. Gomez]

See? All right, everyone is. Everyone wants us to talk about my ex girlfriend's viral video.

[Tim Butterly]

Jorge, can you tell Louis what I asked you? We decided against it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, we're not gonna play because I.

[Tim Butterly]

No, I literally said, put it on the fact sheet and see how bad he gets.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I wouldn't have gotten mad. I just. I look the reality.

[Zach Amico]

Something happened.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at me in my eyes.

[Zach Amico]

I'd love to see this video.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look, I'm not. You guys can easily find it. She. You know, here's the thing.

[Zach Amico]

She.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is the craziest part, okay? And I'm not gonna trash her because she's a sweet girl and I'm glad she's married and having fun, having a great relationship and having a great life now. Glad it's not me. I'm glad we got over that we moved past that. That's good.

[Tim Butterly]

I second all those things. And I'm very happy for her and I wish her nothing but happiness and success.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Genuinely like. But it's like, it's almost like, how do you know not to post that? How, like, how is it that you don't go like, oh, I shouldn't post this. This should be a video that's buried and I should get mad at the club if they post it.

[Zach Amico]

I thought it was incredibly badass and powerful. I saw, I saw her putting that guy in his place and I said, wow, finally, you know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, there is two parts of it. Like, no, that guy sucks. That guy sucks. Heckler should fucking be removed from a club. But it's just fucking.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think so. I think, I think the harder a heckler goes, the more you go, wow, this is really something exciting happening right now. Unless they're like, unless they're just like incoherently babbling and like throwing shit at you. Then it's just like you've got, you've got a person who's overextended themselves and is acting stupid and you can do anything you want. And everyone wants to laugh.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes. But if it's, if you're working on something, like, I'm not trying. I do a little bit of crowd work in my, my act, but it's, it's just not that much of it. Maybe five minutes of the entire hour, if you see me headline will be crowd work. I'll do crowd work to get into some bits sometimes, but even that, like now they're fucking distracting you. They want to yell things out. They want to fucking, you know, like, buddy, fucking chill. I'm working on this.

[Zach Amico]

Mastering the craft.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm working on a special. I'm trying to grow and learn. It's not fucking about you. And the problem is with these, all these crowd work videos that come out because everyone does crowd work videos. I think people in the crowd, they go, oh, cool, this is part of what it is now. And it's really not. It never was before. The fact is, most people that put out those crowd work videos just can't write fucking jokes, right? So they end up just putting that out and then that's what goes viral. So I think the young public, like 19, 20 year olds, they go, oh, that's what a comedy show is. We yell stuff out and then they respond to us and we, you know, they try to get us and we try to get them back. But that's fucking not exactly what comedy is. And if you heckle out a comedy show, you should be removed. I mean, not first thing, but, like, usually what a comedy club will do is they'll come up to you and they'll be like, hey, how do you feel? This is a good club. If it's a good club, they're like, how do you feel about hecklers? I hate them. I want them to die. But they're like, do you want me to remove them? How do you want us to handle it? I always tell them. I was like, I'll handle it. If I'm not handling it and I want them to remove, they're like, is there a code word you want to say? It's like, no, there's no code word. I will say, remove this person right now. Violently. They're being distracting. If. If the audience around them is getting.

[Zach Amico]

Annoyed when I switch from ER to a, that's when it's time to get them out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Doggy.

[Tim Butterly]

I'm the opposite.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Mando for supporting today's show. We love Mando right here on the show. I mean, Zach, what is there not to love about? It's total body deodorant. Not just for your armpit anymore, but everywhere. Your grundle, your feet, your fuck, behind your knees, behind your fucking neck flaps, all that.

[Tim Butterly]

I don't like that. You had to look at each of those parts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you know, Zach, there's a lot of parts that you.

[Tim Butterly]

I have. I. I have a man. I'm a man of many crevices.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're a man doe of many crevices.

[Tim Butterly]

I'm a man of dough.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You have. Zach has a lot of what I can only describe as pits on his body. There's armpits, there's back pits, there's stomach pits, lots of pits. That's fine. And me too, though. I'm sweating as I'm sitting here right now. I feel a little under tit sweat. I feel a little, you know, sweat in the back of my. Behind my knees.

[Tim Butterly]

You're a sweaty boy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm a sweaty boy. Mando has you covered the everywhere. You can sweat on your. Anywhere. You can get a little bit smelly in your body. You can use Mando, and they have a lot of amazing different products. We really think they're a great company and they're a great sponsor. They just sent me another package I got in the mail. I really use Mando daily at this point, and it's clinically proven to control odor substantially. Longer than just taking a shower? Up to 12 hours. After you take a shower, you're gonna get a little stinky. Guess what, Mando? You can put it everywhere. And you smell fresh everywhere, all over your body. What I want you to do is I want you to check out their starter pack. That's the best way to understand their products. Their starter pack gives you cream deodorant, a stick deodorant, and then you get product choices of your choice, which we both love. The. The wipes.

[Tim Butterly]

The wipes, absolutely. If you've been in the car all day or you've been traveling and you don't have time to take a shower, the wipes are a game changer.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Just go to shopmando.com shop m a n d o.com and use the promo code. Laz. Laz is the promo code. Actually, there's a new. There's a new URL here as well. What is this? Mandopodcast.com lazy. You can use that as well. Yeah, use mando podcast.com laz and we actually have that link posted in the description as well. So make sure you guys go do that. Let them know that we sent you. Go grab some Mando. You're going to love. You're never turning back to your regular old bullshit deodorant again. Mando's where it's at. Mando podcast.com Laz all right, where were we? When? But no, I mean, look, the. You know, there's a little. You put up with it a little bit. You know, the most annoying heckler on earth is the ones that aren't even heckling. It's the ones that, that they're like being encouraging of you. You know what I'm saying? So you'll say something. And then they're just like loudly, like overly laughing and they're like being super supportive. You're like. And then you snap. You're like, dude, shut the up. Everyone's like, whoa, why are you being mean to this guy? He loves you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but I feel like you get it a lot with people.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know. I get. I get A heckler is not the right word. I get rowdy ass crowds, but I know how to handle my shit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, you're a pro.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm a fucking pro. I've never, I've never had a full fledged meltdown on stage. Oh.

[Zach Amico]

I'm kind of working on my laughing poems up here, doggy. I don't really have time to address.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Whatever this whole situation is. Look at me.

[Zach Amico]

In my eye.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at me. In my eye.

[Zach Amico]

So you're saying she shouldn't have posted it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She shouldn't have posted it. She should have.

[Zach Amico]

You're saying that's like if Michael Richards posted the N word video.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Comedian destroys heckler.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He actually did destroy that.

[Tim Butterly]

He really did.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He really did. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's what a pro does.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Tim Butterly]

You know, that's a tour.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was a mistake. Well, here's the problem. When you're a hot chick, like, her husband should have been like, babe, no, don't put that out.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But he's just, he's like. He's like, yeah, babe, you're so great. Whatever.

[Zach Amico]

If my wife was doing standup and I was in the green room and someone heckled her, I'd be. I would be out there in one second like, you got a problem?

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's my girl, dude. Sergeant my face. That's what I thought. Yeah, but I mean, God bless.

[Tim Butterly]

Meanwhile, he's in the green room googling Lego porn.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, they're lovely people and I do like them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So anyway, the. The point is, you guys can go find that video. We're not going to play it on the show.

[Zach Amico]

You might as well, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The amount of people, the amount of people that have.

[Tim Butterly]

It would be shitty of us.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm not trying to be she because I, I like, I. She finally started saying hi to me at comedy clubs again. O. I'm still blocked on everything.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you're saying there's a chance.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, there's no chance. But she's no longer ignoring me and giving me devil eyes. So.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm hold on to that kind of feeling.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you date. When you date somebody for six months and it doesn't work out, that's okay. You can just move on.

[Zach Amico]

You can be like that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But everyone's tagging me in this video everywhere. Like literally. I just non stop notifications.

[Zach Amico]

Why just pull the band aid off and watch it give.

[Tim Butterly]

Give the look.

[Zach Amico]

These people are paying subscribers, man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is your core fan base know they. They know they said it's not real ass. Not real ass. You what a Whatever.

[Zach Amico]

Don't core values out the window, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's not a core value. Is to. Is not making fun of my ex.

[Zach Amico]

You're not making fun of her. You're just analyzing it. Dude, you're a broadcaster.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She put it out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, exactly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So cast this broad. Let's go. No, no, we're good, we're good. Go watch it, guys. Have fun with it. You.

[Zach Amico]

I just think it was cool. I think it was. It was. It was when you see her, like flip the switch and like, really commit to giving this guy the business. And then she takes a victory lap around the stage and a sip of water.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look.

[Tim Butterly]

Punches her thirst for justice.

[Zach Amico]

Probably felt incredible.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, everyone's chanting her name.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like, what is wrong with this crowd? Do you not see she's having a full time? If that was you, you would have.

[Zach Amico]

Started your own ch.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fuck this guy. You can fucking go doggy. Well, anyway, let's talk about this. Influencer apologizes after hurling a racial slur at valet workers in Beverly Hills. Let's see. What is this video?

[Zach Amico]

This is also Natalie.

[Jorge]

So an influencer who is the mother of a music producer's son was out at shopping in Beverly Hills when something went wrong. And so then she started yelling at the valets with all her stuff and she started just yelling. Not nice things to her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's see. Let's see. You're a wet back. What else? Got it. Wet back Trump is doing good things. You guys rape people. Yeah. You guys rape and kill people, right? I love this woman. I'm rich. You're poor. You're a poor soul. You're a poor soul. You're a poor soul. Ms. Not to appreciate you saying that.

[Tim Butterly]

No, he said poor favor. He wanted a tip.

[Zach Amico]

Shut the up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I didn't touch you. Shut the up. Give me my keys.

[Tim Butterly]

You just give me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I would marry this woman right now.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wet back is pretty mild.

[Zach Amico]

Flinched when she swiped at the camera.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wetback is pretty mild.

[Tim Butterly]

Yeah, it's one of those. That's never going to hurt. It never feels like it hurts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, that's cuz Zach's back is literally always wet. The lower back.

[Tim Butterly]

I collect moisture. I retain water on the outside.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Zach. Zach's body has its own. Its own natural biome.

[Zach Amico]

He's a contained system. There's bugs in there too, and you need them.

[Tim Butterly]

They're learning technique. It's like tooth in the sim. The treehouse are hard. They're learning technology. Yeah, I don't want. I don't feel like that hurts that bit. Does it?

[Louis J. Gomez]

She's fine. Yeah, she's what? People also don't care that much.

[Tim Butterly]

Like, do you think wetback would feel more offensive to us if we were from a Mexican? Like, it would hurt more like spic does.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Spic doesn't really hurt.

[Tim Butterly]

No, but I'm just saying it definitely has more venom than wetback.

[Zach Amico]

How can anything hurt when you're from Mexico?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you've made it. You're an American now. Be appreciative.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, come on, man. I'm paying the. I'm playing the toll. That's congestion pricing. Getting called wetback.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. Now, she was pretty tight. Who is she? Can we see more pictures of her? How is she an influencer? What is. What is her thing?

[Zach Amico]

So she's a producer's baby mom? Is that what it was?

[Jorge]

Was essentially. That's how she got her fame.

[Zach Amico]

Which producer?

[Jorge]

Scott Storch.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can we see her Instagram? Let's see how toy she is. I like a cunty gal.

[Tim Butterly]

We know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We saw a video I love a of a gal.

[Jorge]

She's taken down her Instagram.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, has she? Coward. Oh, what a lady. Nobody's gonna care about this in two days. Don't take down your Instagram.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't even know and even heard about it. No, you guys have probably had to dig deep for this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's her name?

[Jorge]

Florence. Mirsky.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Florence.

[Tim Butterly]

Can you just Google her?

[Jorge]

Mersky?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, let's see what she looks like. Jorge hates her. Does a wetback offend you? You're Mexican.

[Jorge]

No. I don't care. We all call each other that. It doesn't matter to me. No, no. Hispanic slurs really hurt.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, because honestly, Hispanics think of themselves as white, so they're like, yeah, all right.

[Tim Butterly]

The only way to offend a Hispanic is call them the wrong kind of Hispanic panic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's true.

[Tim Butterly]

Like, you call a Puerto Rican a Mexican Dominican, a Cuban, that's when they get mad.

[Zach Amico]

I think the setting also matters.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, she's tight. I like her. A little bit of makeup, A little tranny. Ish. But that's okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And that's her husband.

[Jorge]

That's the son.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fat lesbian. That's her son? Yeah, that's her son.

[Jorge]

Yep.

[Tim Butterly]

How old is she?

[Jorge]

She's pretty old.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah, dude. She's killing it.

[Zach Amico]

That's the sun from GTA 5.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, I. I have been in a rageful moment where I'm like. I was like, this is why you work at shoprite.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. If those. If those guys were, like, shoveling concrete for $4 an hour, it wouldn't have raised an eyebrow. But those are valet guys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Beverly Hills Valet guys.

[Zach Amico]

Beverly Hills Valet guys. The softest of all the Mexicans.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they're not working very hard. Yeah, she's pretty tight. I got no problem with her. You know what? I'll give a Real estate of the week. Fuck it. I haven't Given a real estate of the week in a hot minute. I don't know where it. Is it on here? Yeah, it is. Here we go. He's a real ass dude. He's got a bad attitude. One might feel he's rhythm. He's a real attitude. Somebody said there's an apology video from her. Jorge.

[Zach Amico]

Now that's what I'm interested in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did she apologize in the article?

[Jorge]

I have it still has it that she did apologize, but I don't have the link to the video. I'll find her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why don't you just fucking try to find it, Jorge? Jesus Christ. Let's do plugs real quick. We're fucking moving along here. Tim Butterly. What are you plugging, my friend?

[Zach Amico]

Check out dad Meat. Check out Tim Butterly show. Check out my YouTube channel where I've been creating a program called Metal Girl Solid where I'm forcing my dear wife, wife, who we talked about earlier, to play through the 1998 seminal classic Metal Gear Solid. It's a sociological experiment and it's a lot of fun. Also, come see me do standup. I've got Canadian dates coming. I'm. I'm going to be in Vegas in the first weekend in March. I. I've got way a bunch of places coming. I'm looking at Key West, I'm looking at Arizona and South bend, Indiana. Tim bartterley.com uh, as the tickets because become available and then just follow me on Twitter and Instagram @timbutterley for when I share those as they become available. That's it. Thank you very much.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Zach amico.

[Tim Butterly]

Worcester, Massachusetts, February 14th and 15th for Juggalo weekend. I'll be there hanging out with JCW Wrestling. Come hang out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Come see me live on the road. The Bring 5 Friends tour coming to a city near you this weekend. Rumors. Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Very excited. Negative 10 degrees this weekend. Weekend gonna be a lot of fun. Then I'm gonna be in Wise Guys Salt Lake City the 21st, 22nd, oh, the 19th. We're gonna be in Los Angeles doing Story wars live at the Comedy Store with Bobby Lee and Adam Ray and one more person, possibly Whitney. She's not giving me a straight answer. South Bend, Indiana is coming up. Rallying North Carolina, Philadelphia on my birthday weekend. So come out to that. That's gonna be a goddamn blast. San Diego's coming up. We're doing the National Comedy Festival with Story wars and Legion of Skanks. April, we got a lot of stuff coming up, so come see me live on the road. Bring some friends. Bring five friends. Honestly, groups of six get priority VIP treatment, six or more.

[Zach Amico]

And you can't get kicked out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you can heckle as much if you bring six. Five friends, you can heckle as much.

[Zach Amico]

As you want as long as you look them in the eyes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude, you could throw garbage at me. I'll give you tomatoes. Who gives a. And yeah, check out all my other podcasts. Story wars, the Regs, the Legendary Legion of Skanks, and also the Lewis Journal podcast. Solo podcast only for subscribers to my email list. Subscribe to my email list. You get a lot of great insights as to the world of Louis J. Gomez and all the things I have going on. And maybe some fucking sexy selfies. That's where I should keep the selfies. Just on the fucking mailing list for the ladies.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. All the guys that you're selling your stand up tickets to who love your gym selfies, they love them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Some guy. A lot of guys do love them. A lot of guys are like, dude, you fucking really inspired me, dude, thank you for getting up today and fucking being real ass.

[Zach Amico]

I also have some guys that follow me for the wrong reasons. I get it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. What are you going to do? So the NFL, this Sunday, they're replacing end racism in the end in the end zone with Choose Love ahead of the Super Bowl. I guess Trump had an issue. He didn't. He said he wasn't going to come to the Super. What? That's not true. He said if it says end racism, he's not coming. That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, man, you got to take a stand. Nice to have principles.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that true, Jorge?

[Jorge]

Yeah. So on the heels of taking down like the DEI stuff and all that, Trump said he was gonna go to the super bowl and to align with all those things.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't want to get political, but like, why are these people so fucking retarded? They just keep on overcorrecting on both sides. So much. So it's like, yeah, obviously what's gonna happen. You're gonna have a massive resistance against this shit. Just fucking be a good president. Yeah. Why can't like, yes, we all agree the DEI shit sucks. The whole tranny shit sucks, Fine. But that'd be the cornerstone of your fucking day, your first day in office.

[Zach Amico]

You're saying there has to be a sweet spot for racism.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's got to be a sweet spot right in the middle.

[Zach Amico]

I agree.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's you. You're. And I did say this. I said as soon as they Trump gets back and people are going to start going crazy again, and it's happening.

[Zach Amico]

I think we're close. I think we're close to the sweet spot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You think so?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think it's one of those things where you don't want zero of it because that, like, upsets some kind of balance. You know what I mean? But. But it's not.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, if you don't have racism, how are Browns going to act? Right. You know, you got to him a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

You got to razz them a little bit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, every once in a while.

[Zach Amico]

Raism.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But it doesn't. It doesn't need to be. It doesn't need to be like. Like, why is. Why is our president fighting this culture war? Who gives a. Who gives a. The only time we deal with is when I go to Starbucks. The only time. And that's fine. Okay. It's a job club.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, do you know Starbucks pays for their sexual reassignment surgeries?

[Zach Amico]

Do they?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look that up, Jorge. I believe it's true.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy. You get a job at Starbucks and then you're just like. It's. That's on the table. Okay. Yeah, I'm not using my HSA enough. I guess I gotta spend it before I lose it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's. I think that. I believe that's a real. If you tip at Starbucks, that's going towards sexual reassembly.

[Zach Amico]

Cold foam rainbow pussy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that a real thing, Jorge, or am I making that up? I read that somewhere.

[Jorge]

So it. Technically, the health plan that they offer covers it, but they don't specifically say that that's what it's for.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right, but then they'll cover it.

[Jorge]

Yeah, but it's included in the health plan.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And don't they also pay for you to go to college as well? Starbucks. It's a solid fucking company, Jorge. You should go become a woman and go to college.

[Jorge]

Honestly, that's not a bad. That's not a bad thing.

[Tim Butterly]

You could be an educated woman, Jorge. You could be a scholar of a woman.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Why?

[Tim Butterly]

I don't remember President need to go to the super bowl we talking about, bro? It's like, has the president. I don't remember presidents being at Super Bowls. Is that a thing?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, he goes to fucking UFC events. He might as well.

[Tim Butterly]

Shouldn't he be busy? President. Why can't he go to the Super Bowl?

[Zach Amico]

He can't President every day. First of all, it's Sunday, dude. It's the weekend. Get off his dick. And you know, you gotta have some.

[Tim Butterly]

Maybe I'M wrong. Maybe. Maybe Presidents always go to super bowl, and I just never noticed.

[Zach Amico]

The fucking Air Force flies over and you got the President there. It's kind of a sick image.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, he goes to UFC events all the time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, if there's a. If there's an attack, I really don't want the president fucking, you know, trying to make his way through the garden to get out of the parking lot.

[Zach Amico]

Imagine if one missile took out Taylor Swift and Donald Trump.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Holy shit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, that would be a crazy Monday, you know?

[Louis J. Gomez]

What a day. All right, so a blind man in Indiana gets a concealed carry permit and calls for common sense gun law. So he got a concealed carry just to prove that it's retarded that he should be able to get a concealed carry.

[Jorge]

Yeah. So the story is, in Indiana, it's super easy to get your permit. And so he thought as a joke, he would be able to, like, apply, and at some point they're going to turn him down, but at no point did they ever turn him down. He got his license. No need for any tests or anything like that. So he's of the. Of the way of thought that there should be tests because there's no reason why a blind man who can't get a license to drive a car should be able to own a gun.

[Zach Amico]

Unless his dog has really good aim.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

So now there's like a whole fight between him and then, like, all the NRA people in Indiana who are like, no, we shouldn't need tests. This is a good show of our government not interfering with our rights. The fact that a person. A person like you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Should a blind person be able to get a gun?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I. I gotta be honest with you. I feel like we shouldn't take away their right to own a gun.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, then what's next? After they can't get a gun, what else can't they do? You know? I don't know what blind people do, but.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, they can't drive a car. Right. But you do need to be able to see to drive a car. You don't need to be able to, like, do you need to be able to see to fucking protect yourself if somebody enters your home?

[Zach Amico]

Good point. What about bomb vest for blind people? So you don't have to aim anything if you're getting attacked, Just blow yourself up. Yeah, or like one of those, like. Like pellet things, you know? I like a crowd deterrent, you know, just. Oh, yeah, you're gonna bully me. You're gonna call me a blind faggot. Check. You know.

[Tim Butterly]

Oh, like the thing from Jackass too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. Here's 700 rubber balls. Suck my dick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I watched Jackass with my son, the, the first one a couple nights ago. I'm trying to get him into Cool and Jackass, the original Jackass. You don't remember how gay they were? Yep, they were really gay, James. Like, why do they do such gay stuff? I'm like, you know what, we should turn this off then. Putting fireworks in their.

[Zach Amico]

And putting the dick through the Godzilla table.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that in the first one?

[Zach Amico]

No, I think it might have been like two or three, but we watched all of them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, he's. He's at an age where he, you know, he thinks certain things are fun just. But he's still a nice kid. But.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it's. Things are different now, obviously. You know, I hate to sound like an old guy, but it's like it used to be funny for dudes to show each other their buttholes. And now, now it's not. Yeah, now it's like a serious thing now. They're teaching it in schools as like an important thing. It's like, no, that used to be a blast. They used to rule to get a concussion and then show everyone your balls.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's so funny. Like, we, we really love Jackass. Like, me, Big Jay and Dave all bonded over, like, Jackass in the Jackass movies. Like, like, but we just weren't. We just didn't have the balls to fucking do the shit that they did. I'll do a gun in the butt. I'll do a shot collar once in a while. There's some Jackass elements to the show, but yeah, I'm not doing any of the fucking crazy shit. Like if somebody, if somebody hit me in the nuts with a bowling ball, I'd kill them.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it is very funny to watch, like, towards the end of each movie where like, they're. All their teeth are up and they all have terrible haircuts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, everyone's on massive amounts of drugs. You just see, like, they have like bags under their eyes, are all up. Everyone looks like a junkie. They're.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they're also completely on edge the entire time cuz they're worried about a giant boxing glove, like, coming out of.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A steering wheel every time they open the door. That's going to give you ptsd.

[Zach Amico]

Knoxville's got his dick in a cast.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, what a. What a terrifying life. I mean, like, at any given moment, a cobra might Be in your car.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then there's four cameras all watching.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You go like, dude, seriously, dude? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it makes you $20 million.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Those guys made some fucking cashola on it.

[Tim Butterly]

I mean, going back to the super bowl real quick, since you're, you're a Philly boy, how do you think if, if there was hypothetically a terrorist attack at an Eagle super bowl, how do you think the residents of Philadelphia would treat the local Muslim community?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow. Well, first of all, they'd be probably outnumbered, so pro. They'd probably still be pretty polite to them and you know, it'd be tough to get worse. Be tough to get worse on the.

[Tim Butterly]

You know, I'm just saying, the average gas station, you think there'd be some violence.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, they took to the streets during what was, what was the one, the George Floyd protests. They, they started like patrolling the streets with like baseball bats and shit, just like hoping a motherfucker would. I think if a full on terrorist attack came, they'd all, you know, the job sites would be empty and they'd be prowling and they also wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a Muslim and just a regular brown person. Yeah, it would get pretty messy, I think. Yeah, it'd be pretty fucking funny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Technically they're all wetbacks, you know. Let's see the naughty little secret of today's drug friendly parents. What is this, Jorge?

[Zach Amico]

Uh oh. Am I in trouble?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe because you'll do drugs. You'll do. You still do drugs, huh?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think it's important.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Mushrooms a lot. Acid sometimes.

[Zach Amico]

Molly occasionally on the holidays maybe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Holidays, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's important to cut loose.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. You know, my son asked me if I've ever done any hard drugs besides weed, and I lied.

[Zach Amico]

What'd you tell me?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did I told him I've smoked weed? Yeah, I just feel like he wasn't at an age to like discuss my coke habit with him. True.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, I've never gone. I don't actually. I'm not a coke guy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I don't really go there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And my kids hate weed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Your kids hate weed?

[Zach Amico]

They think. Yeah. My son thinks weed is gay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And my daughter tried it one time and got caught.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She got caught by you guys?

[Zach Amico]

Well, she got caught by my wife. I was out at a show and MJ called me and she was kind of like laughing about it at the time, but Lucy apparently had gotten a weed vape from someone at school.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

And she was trying it in her room Room.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What a fool.

[Zach Amico]

And she took one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lucy, do it outside.

[Zach Amico]

She took one hit and started coughing and gagging.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

Like eyes bulging.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Tears just stunk up the room.

[Zach Amico]

And, and she. So MJ yells us there. She goes, are you okay? And everybody's like, yeah, boy, can you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just put on Pink Floyd, please?

[Zach Amico]

And so, so Lucy comes downstairs in a full on panic, probably not even taking enough of a hit to get high. And she came downstairs and she was like crying and she said, mom, I did something bad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When was this?

[Zach Amico]

This was like last year.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And you know, so MJ handled it while I wasn't there and you know, they had a sweet talk and she was just like, fucking, please don't do this. And then I came home and Lucy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Was watching Lego porn.

[Zach Amico]

She was completely ripped and had fallen asleep on with her head on MJ's lap on the couch. And it was the, I mean, the sweetest thing. Imagine getting monumentally high and then getting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Your mom to rub your hair.

[Zach Amico]

Mommy's rubbing your hair.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's all I want. Literally, that, that's my fantasy.

[Zach Amico]

I said, I love this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I love this for her.

[Zach Amico]

I was so stoked for her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Man, if you're gonna get high and having your mom like rub your hair.

[Zach Amico]

While you like mommy who loves you, by the way.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh my God, how great would that be?

[Zach Amico]

Rubbing your scalp and you get the, the most people peaceful sleep of your.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Entire best high ever.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it. She's probably hooked now, to be honest.

[Zach Amico]

I think she got scared off by the cough, but that's fine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, my mom caught me smoking weed. I did it in the house. I don't know. Like we. You just don't think a step ahead, you know? Like, I, like, obviously it's going to stink up the entire house. I. I had it out my window at a joint, rolled and I was like, my whole head was at my window smoking it. And then, you know, 10 minutes later I heard my mom get up, started banging on my door. She's like, are you. You're doing drugs in there? Then she called my Aunt Amory. She's like, he's doing drugs. Meanwhile, this was addicted to heroin. She had some nerve.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it's important to cut loose as a parent.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sometimes you gotta cut loose. Jorge. What are these? What are these druggie parents doing?

[Jorge]

Tim's right. That's what these people are saying they went through all over the world. Now it's pretty common for parents, parents who have become parents after the year of 2005, to be more open about drug use with. Around their children.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, when I was smoking weed, I didn't want my. I didn't want to demonize it. Right. I didn't want to be, like, sneaking around smoking weed. I just. My son, he just always had memories of me smoking weed. Like, I'd go out into the backyard and I would just smoke a joint. And he asked me one day. I was like, oh, it's weed. It's marijuana. It helps me relax, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I watched my parents drink.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, same exact shit. Yeah, his mom's drinks wine. I smoke a little bit of weed. I wasn't gonna make it. My sister does this. My sister, like, hides it from her daughter. And then her daughter knows. Her daughter's like, yeah, you're obviously smoking weed. And her mom's like, no, no, I'm not. I would never do that. He's like, you're making it like you're a bad person to your. You're lying and she knows you're smoking weed.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're a druggie liar in your daughter's mind, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Taking your kids to a fucking amusement park and just munching a gummy and enjoying it a hundred times more. And then they're having more fun because you're actually locked in and you're not thinking about work. You're totally distracted from all the. That makes you a horrible person to be around for them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude. That's not so bad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did that with James when we took him to Universal Studios when me and Kim were dating back in the day, and we had just a vape pen at Universal Studios, and it was like a big dinosaur that walks around, looks pretty cool. It's like. It's a person in a dinosaur suit. Suit. But it's. Whatever it is, it's the most badass dinosaur costume on the planet. Try to find the dinosaurs in Universal Studios. And there's, like, a dinosaur trainer, and it's like a chicken a. You know, the big, brown, like, you know, what do they call them? Safari hats? And, like, wearing, like, you know, brown fatigues. And she's like. And this is the terra deck, the lactavicus. And she's giving you facts about it and, like, the dinosaurs. And I was smoking a vape, and she had a headset on the. The trainer, and she was like, not here, sir.

[Zach Amico]

You don't know me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wet back.

[Tim Butterly]

People are gonna say it's the shittiest dinosaur.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, dude, it was the coolest guy. I'm rich.

[Zach Amico]

You clean up dinosaur.

[Tim Butterly]

You work At Universal Studios.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, look at these dinosaurs.

[Tim Butterly]

This is why you work for a dinosaur.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So that's the Jurassic Park. Yeah, that's like a ride, but it's outside of it. But it wasn't even that. There was like another, like half animatronic, half, like human trying to find a video of it because the way it moved, it was really cool.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they got like the stilts on. Yeah, it was the robot head.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Pretty cool. But she called me out on it in front of an entire group of people and my son.

[Zach Amico]

Did you flip out on her?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I was like, oh, sorry. Who, me?

[Zach Amico]

I did something bad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, no, mom, please. Yeah, let's see. What is this one? Let's see. Yeah, this right here. Raptor Encounter at the Islands of Adventure University. Yeah. Dude, this was fire. Look at that.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, God damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn. I'm so high. Yeah, very cool.

[Zach Amico]

It's not the dinosaur breed, it's the owner, you know?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's see. There was another week.

[Tim Butterly]

Dinosaurs are illegal. Only. Only criminals love dinosaurs.

[Jorge]

So what Tim was saying on you as well, it's actually very common now for people, for parents to do their own little play dates where they get Airbnbs and hire a babysitter to watch all the kids while they go out and go to raves or have their own little parties.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, raves are gay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's pretty wild.

[Zach Amico]

But having the kids taken care of and then you and your friends, I don't know, maybe do a little bit of ketamine and listen to music. Hey, man, guess what? I think I'm gonna live longer because of it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You think so?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, absolutely. I think it's gonna keep me from wrapping an HDMI cord around my neck for another couple of years.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, ketamine's a little bit intense to do around the children.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing disassociative around the children.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you're just in a K hole.

[Zach Amico]

Honestly, around kids, just weed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And not so much a little bit of weed. I'm going to start to sound like a now, but don't sound like a dude. Just a little bit of weed, a.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Little bit of catamine. Kids at Skank Fest, we get these ketamine lozenges.

[Zach Amico]

I know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. You know who?

[Zach Amico]

You sent me to Nintendo World on one of those.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, did I?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I felt like I was completely eight bit and I can only move one joint at a time in my entire body.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I took those during the item comedy jam Ketamine. And like, loud rock music doesn't work. It feels like, your ears are clogged. You can barely hear, like, what is even happening here. You're, like, like, almost underwater. It only works with, like, anyone else.

[Zach Amico]

Worried about the integrity of our submersible right now? You feel like you're gonna implode.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's not, like, a fun social thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. Being around thousands of people on ketamine is awful. You gotta be alone. You gotta be listening to some, like, acid style, like, hip hop beats, watching cool videos. Yeah. You're just like, whoa, this is.

[Zach Amico]

That's a good time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. But I don't know. I'm not. Last time I did academy and I didn't like it. I think I'm just done doing hard drugs.

[Zach Amico]

Do you have any of those lodgings juices left?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, but I know a girl. I know. I know a girl who has them regularly.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I was gonna ask to take them off your hands and then offer to pay for them, and you go, no, you could just have them. And I'm not gonna go give some girl money for them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Smart move.

[Tim Butterly]

I will.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, no, they're. They're a little bit much. And then I've done ketamine, where I've snorted it too. It's like a little fucking bumparoo. That's actually better than the lozenges.

[Tim Butterly]

The nasal mist is really good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Lozenges are too. It's just, like, too heavy. Like, because you start sucking on there, like, four minutes, and you're like, oh, I'm tripping. And then you still have, like, a whole 90% of a lozenge left.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. And now your entire field of view is pixelated and you're completely losing it. Actually, it hit me really hard.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

So you gave it to me at Skank Fest. Right, Right. And we were at the Peppermint Hippo, where I was not having a great time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No.

[Zach Amico]

That's actually kind of a stressful place for me. And what made it worse was you were having the best time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We were having a good time.

[Zach Amico]

You had an entire table to yourself. Of strippers.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Who were begging for your money.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I was there with my wife and our friends, and I was just like, this is pretty cool.

[Tim Butterly]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

You guys are having a good time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everyone's like, no, this sucks.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. All these furious naked women are pretty funny, right? And you gave me the lozenge, and it. It didn't fully hit me until we. We got the. The party bus from the club to drive us around a little. I gave the guy 100 bucks to drive us Around a little bit just to get out of there. And it hit me on the party bus, and I think, like, the guy had, like, Tom Petty blaring and the. The lights were crazy. I was at my wife, and we had the most. The most beautiful moment ever together as I completely lost my grasp on reality.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Kenny will do that. I. I took ketamine before I went to Sal Volcano's wedding. So I show. I. Dude, I was. I was on a train. I don't even know where it was. It was like, upstate New York or in Pennsylvania or something. And I was on a train just. Just by myself, just taking snorts of ketamine. And I just. I. You get to. You get to the point where you're like, all right, I've had too much ketamine. There's that one more. You're like, oh, that was the one. That was just too much. And it felt like when the high.

[Zach Amico]

Score appears above your head.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I have some water, dude. My energy meter is all the way down.

[Zach Amico]

I'm down to one and a half hearts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, and you're blinking. My nose is just glowing red, dude. And it felt like I was on a roller coaster. I felt like I was on a roller coaster going to hell. It was just on, dude. Being on a train, an Italian wedding. It was. It was crazy. Then I showed up at the wedding, and I was like, hey, you guys want to do ketamine? Everyone's like, no. Nobody wanted to do ketamine, by the way. I was way ahead of my time, okay? Now everyone does ketamine. Everyone looked at me like I was a goddamn jerk off that night because I was like, who wants to do some ketamine, dude? I just fucking came on a train ride from hell. You're standing in the back of a church.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody, they've got their hands together in front of the priest.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, shit. Yeah, that was. That was quite the time. I kind of miss doing drugs. I miss not caring about my life.

[Zach Amico]

Is that what you think that was?

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was. Yeah, it was. There was a time when I. I would do drugs, and it was just to escape reality. It was like, I like life now. I really do. I think that's why I don't want to do. Because when I'm on drugs, I have to remove myself from my life. Like, I have to. If I'm doing cocaine, the next day, I'm lying in bed feeling like if I'm doing ketamine, it was like, I'm. I'm not feeling life around me. I'm Feeling ketamine. You know what I'm saying?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that gay?

[Zach Amico]

No. I need that though. Yeah, that's what I need.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But it's also not judgmental on people that do drugs. I get it. Like sometimes life is so good that you're like it, dude. I want to enhance it in another way. It just was never an enhancement for me. It was a distraction for me for sure. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I'm coming from the opposite end. I hope people understand. I hope they're not judging me too hard.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, they're not. They love you, Tim. Everyone loves you in the race. Live chat. Let's see what they say. Let's see. That's just a. A woman's tit milk squirting out of her tit. That's fun.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's fun.

[Zach Amico]

No, I. With the racist Live chat. Those are my people. I'm a. I'm a Internet comment guy. I'm a. I'm a message board, you know, born and bred.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So those are more my people.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I still don't know how to use. What's it called, A toothbrush.

[Zach Amico]

Judgment.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Common sense, Discord.

[Tim Butterly]

Oh, well, I don't get discord either. Confusing as I always need. I'll do like sometimes after spook show, I'll do another movie on Discord and I literally need someone to set it up for me and invite me in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I have no idea. I just can't 4chan don't. I have no idea how that works.

[Zach Amico]

You're better off. But yeah, Discord's where it's at, man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Reddit was the last thing that I learned how it worked. And I remember when I first got on Reddit, I was really confused. Upvote, downvote, all that. But it's so easy. It's so easy.

[Zach Amico]

Two things confused you. A binary decision destroyed your world.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was a lot, dude.

[Tim Butterly]

He was on ketamine. Dan, was that Bubbles down?

[Louis J. Gomez]

What is this story? 92 year old man swears this single activity has helped him live a long healthy life. What is this?

[Tim Butterly]

Jorge screaming the NW every morning?

[Jorge]

So this 92 year old man in England, you know, lived a hard life making furniture and doing lots of woodworking. And when he retired in his 60s, he needed something to help keep him active. And when he was a teenager, he was really big into table tennis, so he started picking that back up, joined a table tennis club. And he says that that's the key to him being very healthy at 92 because it gets him up and acting it's a very. You have to use your mind in game. It's very. And he has to play against younger people.

[Zach Amico]

It hasn't been taken over by minorities.

[Jorge]

Exactly. You have to be in a club. Come on.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, first of all, I mean, really, any sort of exercise, that's. That's the takeaway there. It's not table tennis. It's a old guy that's moving around and using his mind.

[Tim Butterly]

Of course, I think it's also the social aspect and having something to do.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is there a video of him playing.

[Jorge]

Give me one second.

[Zach Amico]

Be funny if he.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's. I'll destroy this. His world up.

[Tim Butterly]

Yeah, you could probably kill him with the right shot.

[Zach Amico]

You got to constantly bend over to pick up the ball because you suck.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at this guy. Yeah, he's terrible. When I went on holiday, I always played, and there was a member from here told me to come up here, and he said, it's a lovely club. Does he have the ping pong ball in his mouth right now? I was wrong. They've helped me through my sad days, and they've helped me a lot. And I couldn't come to a better club. Over the years, I think I have improved. Who is this hot chick? Who's this hot chick out there? What's up, girl? Can she hear us? Make sure she.

[Zach Amico]

Ma'am, there's still time. Please turn around.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Who is this hot chick? Jorge, who is this? Oh, can they hear us?

[Jorge]

Yeah, they can hear us.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Whoops. Oh, hey. Oh, there's another hot chick. What's going on?

[Zach Amico]

It's not too late.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, you guys should kiss each other. Look at these. They're showing us their tits. Who are these hot that have walked into the studio? They're relatives of Ralph. Oh, no, they're not. They're not comics.

[Zach Amico]

No, those are wealthy, attractive women.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They get all of the hot. From Ralph's family. Who are these hot.

[Zach Amico]

They have no interest in doing five minutes on your show. At Dojo of comedy, I am the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Puerto Rican rattlesnake Lucia Gomez. What's going on? Oh, look. Look at that. What's going on, girls?

[Zach Amico]

And they're out of here. Good call.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're gone.

[Zach Amico]

You guys are smart.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There we go. Bye. Yeah, they're. You guys really dodged a bunch of hot broads.

[Tim Butterly]

I hope those are like rich housewives that we're gonna invest in the network.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's too late now.

[Zach Amico]

Now they're gonna go destroy hecklers.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm weighing that. I was weighing. It's. It's rare. But you know, when you look over through this little fish bowl, you see hot chick swimming by. It's like you got to say something, you know? I'm sorry, Miss. I didn't mean to disrespect you. There was a compliment. She said thank you. I think she likes me. Miss, is there any chance for you and I. None at all. Don't be that way. I have a lot of money.

[Zach Amico]

And she's smart too.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm.

[Zach Amico]

She's got everything.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm very rich.

[Zach Amico]

I drive back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I drive an Acura tlx. It's used. She's. You. You show me your jewelry, I can buy you more jewelry. Yes, she showed me rings on her fingers. I don't know what that means. I don't respect your husband. I'll beat your husband's ass. Just so you know. Miss.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I bet she. She looks like she's got money. She looks like she smells nice. Miss, can I smell you at least? Nothing. Okay, whatever. Just making sure. This is. We sexually harass here, okay? You should. You should know that before you come in our studio. Just know. We sexually harass. Miss, this is above board. She doesn't care. She loves it. Look at her. She's. She is flirting with me right now.

[Zach Amico]

We can't see her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You can't see her.

[Zach Amico]

I lost her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Ma'am, you look like you have a lot going for you. You know, you don't need this in your life right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know, we should run. We should do a web series where we just cat call women. That's a great web series.

[Zach Amico]

What do you expect their reactions to be? Explosive? Receptive?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I think that they're. First of all, I think women like to be cat called a little bit. I think they like the attention from men and they don't want to admit it, you know, for sure.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they just won't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They.

[Zach Amico]

You know what? They got rid of the baby with the bath water cuz they just wanted to get rid of the ugly guys saying stuff.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's exactly the problem is you can't pick and choose who's going to cat call you. Miss. Maybe you get off your high horse. Maybe you climb down off that high horse. Miss. Okay? You're not. You'll get to pick and choose who's cat calling you, okay? You take it from one of us, you take it from all of us.

[Zach Amico]

You know, that's life, man. You take the good with the bad. Nothing's, you know, it's all sunshine and daisies. No you get a dud in there every once in a while, calling you an ugly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Anyway, Miss, I don't know how Reddit works, okay? So just know who you're dealing with. I would upvote the hell out of this woman.

[Zach Amico]

Jesus Christ.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I upvote her.

[Zach Amico]

You need a relationship.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I do. Dude, I'm horny all the time now.

[Zach Amico]

And, ma'am, a million updates to you.

[Tim Butterly]

I don't like that. That a hot blonde lady is just like a cat with yarn for Lois.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like we were doing.

[Tim Butterly]

We were on a completely different subject and.

[Zach Amico]

Jorge, get the laser pointer.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that G? Mike? Why? What is going on with the studio today? There's so many people in studio today. It's getting wild.

[Zach Amico]

Being taken over. They're going to turn it into a country club.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Tim, you want to get some food after this?

[Zach Amico]

For sure.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Tim Butterly]

You added a read of that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, look, we're gonna wrap it up. We're gonna wrap it up. This has been a fun show. Support Tim and everything that he does. Do not support Giannis.

[Zach Amico]

You know, it's over for him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Actually, Giannis, Janice just burnt a bridge here.

[Zach Amico]

Ever hear of a blood feud?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

You're looking at the beginning of one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is it. You guys are the best. We'll be back on Friday with an exclusive episode just for you subscribers for Gas Digital. Until that, then, good night.