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Luis J. Gomez
Fill her up. You're listening to the GAS Digital Network. You know what time it is? They say life a bit tight at night, boy.
Zach Amico
We diving in. We got Zakamika, red dot, head shot.
Luis J. Gomez
We a snipe for the Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper. And it came to attack, spilling crack on the track. What the is this, Shannon? What is it? There we go. Who's failing? Yeah. That was the fastest way I've ever said the N word in my entire life. Do we gotta believe that? I don't think so. It's your boy. Luis J. Gomez, Puerto Rican. Rattles that king of things, coming at you like Cleopatra. On a Monday. On a Monday, baby boy. International superstar Zach Amicos here. What's up, kid?
Gina Hyena
How you doing, buddy?
Luis J. Gomez
Feeling pretty good, man. Feeling pretty good. Even though I had a very trying day yesterday at the airport.
Gina Hyena
It would appear so.
Josh Adam Meyers
You were good. You were leaving Canada, right?
Luis J. Gomez
Blame Canada, baby boy.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, they look at him. Don't you stop him and search him and find.
Gina Hyena
Stop me.
Luis J. Gomez
They didn't search me. Didn't do any of that. The flights were just delayed. Delayed. Delayed.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Five hours I waited in that fucking airport.
Zach Amico
What airline?
Luis J. Gomez
Air Canada. United fucking pushed me over to Air Canada. And then they don't even give you. Like, I bought it on United. Then they don't even give you your fucking premier 1k status. They put me in group two.
Josh Adam Meyers
I've had that. I've had that. Leaving Edmonton. Edmonton?
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Zach Amico
They'll.
Josh Adam Meyers
They'll fuck you up trying to get out of Canada.
Luis J. Gomez
Then what I usually do is if I'm not in group one, I'll go with group. I'll go with group two. If I'm group three, group four, it doesn't matter, right? But then I saw an old couple did that to me, and it took every bit of me not to be like, you're not in group two. You're not ing group two. And I just let him go. It's a new Lewis, the new day, new me. I'm not trying to get banned from airports.
Josh Adam Meyers
Can I tell you how to get through all of that?
Luis J. Gomez
How?
Josh Adam Meyers
Service animal. Service animal.
Luis J. Gomez
I. I hate that your dog is here.
Gina Hyena
Her name's Gina. Hyena.
Josh Adam Meyers
Nice Gina.
Ian Finance
Right off the bat, huh?
Josh Adam Meyers
She's very. She's trained well.
Luis J. Gomez
I like how Gina's separated from you guys. She doesn't want to sit next to you guys.
Ian Finance
Not enough room.
Luis J. Gomez
This is.
Ian Finance
We have to mush a comedy fan or not. It either looks like I won or lost a contest.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. It's Gina's first time on the show. I'm excited to have you here.
Ian Finance
Thank you.
Luis J. Gomez
Great stuff. All about Gina. People seem to really like you, so I think my fans are gonna like you as well. She's pretty hot too, so that's pretty fucking sweet. Everyone's probably gonna post fake, deep fakes of you in the racist live chat shortly, so I hope you're okay with that.
Ian Finance
Perfect. I am Italian. So.
Luis J. Gomez
So look, we have a great show planned today. I'm very excited to have everyone in the studio. I'm not excited to have your dog here. Josh.
Zach Amico
Disgusting.
Luis J. Gomez
Josh. I'm not. I don't own a movie theater. You're not gonna. Your fake service animal doesn't work on me.
Josh Adam Meyers
Fake. I, I bring out fentanyl right now and watch what she does.
Luis J. Gomez
What is it, bro?
Zach Amico
I'm coming up on 10 years sober and I don't have a dog walking around. It's called being a man.
Josh Adam Meyers
Coke and. And others. You didn't do opiates.
Luis J. Gomez
What is your.
Ian Finance
Looks like it's on opiates right now.
Josh Adam Meyers
Get.
Zach Amico
Let it go. Are you really that weak that you're like, I. I don't have a puppy.
Josh Adam Meyers
I'm gonna.
Luis J. Gomez
I mean, I need puppy. I gotta pet my dog.
Josh Adam Meyers
She sees me do it until barking.
Luis J. Gomez
What is the. What is the. The body shirt? What does the shirt say? The dog thing.
Josh Adam Meyers
Service animal.
Luis J. Gomez
Service animal. It's actually. It's a trained service animal.
Josh Adam Meyers
100, bro.
Zach Amico
It's. Josh, you trained it to be a service.
Josh Adam Meyers
Isn't that crazy that I could do that? I had a woman train me and we. We trained the dog together.
Zach Amico
Sounds like a Ponzi scheme.
Josh Adam Meyers
A little bit.
Zach Amico
And then I had to train five other people.
Josh Adam Meyers
Dude. It's. It's. This is the thing, man. Like, this dog 100% has a task. She does it. And what's the task?
Luis J. Gomez
Lick your balls. She licks. We tried.
Josh Adam Meyers
We tried. But she's not.
Luis J. Gomez
No, but hold on. Service animal is different than emotional support animal. Emotional support animal. Anybody could get an emotional support animal. That's like a thing you go online and just get certification like that. A service animal is a very specifically trained animal.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yes.
Luis J. Gomez
And that's what the. You're saying that this is 100 an actually trained service dog to the letter of the law.
Ian Finance
And she did not.
Josh Adam Meyers
The letter of the law.
Zach Amico
And what is her service?
Josh Adam Meyers
She stops me from doing fentanyl.
Zach Amico
That's a joke.
Ian Finance
Your hair.
Josh Adam Meyers
I, I, I, Dude, I'm.
Luis J. Gomez
I.
Josh Adam Meyers
If I saw it. If I think about it, like, I want to do it still. You can't opiate addiction, heroin addiction, that stuff, it sticks with you, man. And having the dog, if, like, she stops me from going to fifth and Broadway, you know, to go cop, she stops.
Zach Amico
Do it right now.
Ian Finance
Like, put sugar on the program.
Josh Adam Meyers
She knows the difference.
Luis J. Gomez
What would she. Hold on. What would she actually do? Can hold on. Is that even a task of a service animal, Shannon? Google this.
Ian Finance
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Can service animals stop you from doing drugs? Is that a. Is that a task? I don't.
Zach Amico
Wife.
Luis J. Gomez
I think you're a liar. I think you're.
Josh Adam Meyers
That's a real bold claim.
Luis J. Gomez
I think you're a dirty fucking liar.
Josh Adam Meyers
I think.
Luis J. Gomez
And I would. I would. I would have more respect for you if you just got the emotional support animal tag and you weren't pretending that this was a dog. Yeah, that was more respect.
Gina Hyena
You're still a drug addict.
Josh Adam Meyers
We're very close.
Zach Amico
When was the last time you did fentanyl?
Josh Adam Meyers
May 17, 2016.
Zach Amico
And. And you've had the dog ever since.
Josh Adam Meyers
I got her in December of 2000. No, 16. 2016. I got her in December 2016.
Zach Amico
So what happened on the. In between?
Ian Finance
Yeah, what happened?
Josh Adam Meyers
I wanted to do it. I want to do. And I thought about it, and then I got the dog and I was like, nah. And then we had a trainer, and just having her. At first, she was just like, yeah, dude, you can do this. She would look at me. Look at. Like, look at the dog and look at him and tell him not to. Don't look at me. See she way she looks at me because she. She's paying attention.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, it's fine. I'm not going to. I'm not going to be trying to stare at liars.
Zach Amico
I. I wouldn't train the dog to find drugs and bring it.
Shannon Lee
According to Chat, GPT psychiatric service dogs are trained to recognize signs of distress, cravings, and behaviors associated with relapse in your.
Luis J. Gomez
And what are they? What is. What do they do?
Shannon Lee
It says they can interrupt these behaviors through nudging, pawing, or engaging their handler to shift focus.
Ian Finance
Put on Alice in Chains, see if.
Josh Adam Meyers
She gets put on Rooster, See what she does.
Luis J. Gomez
I don't buy any of your horseshit, Josh.
Josh Adam Meyers
First of all, look at what she's doing. She's right here. She's not bothering anybody. You know, I deleted.
Luis J. Gomez
I posted. I posted a thing. When I was in Austin, I was at Lifetime, and there was a guy playing fetch with his dog, and I posted this thing. This was one of my Most controversial clips ever. The amount of people. I mean, daily people like, dude, I fuck, I'm going to kill you. People wanted to kill me because I pointed out that this guy was playing fucking fetch with his dog in the gym. I deleted the post finally, because I was like, I just can't argue with fucking dog people. I can't make that my. My identity.
Josh Adam Meyers
I know.
Luis J. Gomez
It's just. It's. There's no point, because then I'm. I'm like, yeah, fuck you, dude. Actually, it's dangerous for the dog to be in the gym, and I don't care. I don't care enough. But I do care.
Josh Adam Meyers
I. I wouldn't bring her to the gym. I wouldn't really bring her somewhere that it's really going to be an issue.
Luis J. Gomez
Like, it's an issue here. I told you not to bring your fucking dangerous. No, no, no, no.
Gina Hyena
Dangerous.
Luis J. Gomez
Never.
Josh Adam Meyers
Told me never to bring the dog. If you would have said that to me, I wouldn't have brought her.
Zach Amico
I figured what you have around your neck. You look like the Rambo of picking up dog.
Gina Hyena
He needs a new hour.
Josh Adam Meyers
Please help me, God. I need everything that's good.
Luis J. Gomez
Let me introduce our guests from being in with Jordan. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Ian Finance, back on the motherfucking show.
Zach Amico
Hi, everybody. Thank you for having me. Excited to be here.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, thank you very much for getting the music back.
Josh Adam Meyers
Dunk it. Dunk it.
Luis J. Gomez
Dunk it, dude. From the 500 podcast, ladies and gentlemen, Josh. Adam Myers is here.
Josh Adam Meyers
With, like, a dog.
Luis J. Gomez
With, like, a dog. No, but also, nobody cares about your dog's Instagram. Nobody has, because she. She's got, like 100 followers.
Josh Adam Meyers
Well, we got hijacked by some Romanian guy. She was at like 2,000. And then, like, she got hacked. She got hacked, dude. It was good, dude. Shane followed her.
Luis J. Gomez
That's what she calls it when Josh.
Zach Amico
Pets her, so she calls it when she watches Josh.
Josh Adam Meyers
It got hacked. It got hacked. I've been hacked. It got hacked. But she had some. She had a good run of strong followers, and then it got. It's all got me to rebuild it.
Luis J. Gomez
And Gina, you don't have a podcast?
Ian Finance
No, I got to get more tattoos so I can get a podcast on the station.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, shots fire.
Zach Amico
Gina hot and coming in hot.
Luis J. Gomez
Wow.
Josh Adam Meyers
Wow.
Gina Hyena
That's not funny. Look me in the eyes.
Zach Amico
Hey, that's not funny. Take off your shoes.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. So, Gina, you're. It says, seeing I kill Tony. No, that can't be. This is now. This is your credit. The Lewis and Zach show is now. Now seeing Zach show, which is a more important show for the comedy community. No hate on Tony Hinchcliffe and Kill Tony. We love Kill Tony, but you know, this is the Lewis and Zach show.
Ian Finance
I'm a goddamn legend and I'm in New York. So.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. Are you a New Yorker now?
Josh Adam Meyers
Yes.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, great. Good for you. When did you move here?
Ian Finance
I've been here for. Since 2020. Was here for 12 years. I just started comedy in Austin. It was very bizarre.
Luis J. Gomez
Okay.
Ian Finance
Yeah. I actually used to live across from the old creek in the cave. But I was like helping out with poker rooms and doing dumb shit. So I was never like out in the open. So yeah, I was doing a lot of dumb shit. Allegedly.
Luis J. Gomez
I knew a few different girls who've helped out with poker rooms and they were always big titty.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, really?
Ian Finance
I didn't have my tits yet. Yeah, yeah. Just a great personality.
Luis J. Gomez
Those are fake tit.
Ian Finance
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Shannon right off the bat, huh?
Ian Finance
Shannon signed up.
Luis J. Gomez
Well, let me say this because we, we. We created a. A gofundme for shit. Because Shannon has old tits. 22 year old tits. We're trying to get them. Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
Beef them up every 10 years.
Luis J. Gomez
We gotta. You gotta replace your tits. But we put. We made the GoFundMe and Shannon went away on vacation days later. So it doesn't really have a lot of traction. Shannon and also somebody DM me. They said it was a missed opportunity to not call it. Get Shannon new cannons, which we should rename the.
Josh Adam Meyers
That's brilliant.
Zach Amico
I mean, run it back.
Luis J. Gomez
Why not?
Shannon Lee
I think, I think I can re. Rename it.
Luis J. Gomez
Let's rename it Shannon. Where are we at right now with your GoFundMe? People are giving me because I have not donated a thousand dollars yet.
Shannon Lee
That's true.
Luis J. Gomez
But I'm gonna. Am I Shannon, be honest about this. Am I a liar?
Shannon Lee
No. It may take. It's going to take a little while. But you will give the money?
Luis J. Gomez
Well, once we're a little closer to the goal, there's no reason for me to take a thousand dollars out of my pocket today.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, I think you should actually put it in and then everybody sees that it's being stimulated. Yeah. Or can you just buy one tit at a time?
Luis J. Gomez
No, that would be a great way.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Just do what's worth it for the before and after picks alone.
Luis J. Gomez
Well, you know, the problem is where.
Shannon Lee
Are we at with your GoFundMe? 715?
Luis J. Gomez
We're doing pretty good right now.
Josh Adam Meyers
Hold on.
Luis J. Gomez
I think she made it to us. She did. She made it for 12 grand. We should have gone for it with a cheaper doctor. Josh, how much you put in?
Josh Adam Meyers
20 bucks right now.
Luis J. Gomez
Josh, you have hundreds in your hand. I really thought you were going to be. Not be a cheap piece of. Yeah, and the dogs will get. Give her 250 bucks, Josh.
Zach Amico
Jesus Christ.
Josh Adam Meyers
All right, then I have to Venmo, because then I have to write this off.
Luis J. Gomez
Well, yeah, no, put it well. Donate to the GoFundMe.
Josh Adam Meyers
I am, but I have to do it now so I can show that.
Luis J. Gomez
I can't hand her cash for the GoFundMe.
Josh Adam Meyers
The $20. This is just a down payment on the original quarter inch of tit. Like a millimeter of tit.
Zach Amico
All right, I'll put it for the areola.
Gina Hyena
Yeah, dude, come on, dude, like, name stars your body. Yeah, you know the little bumps around the areola.
Josh Adam Meyers
Is that what they are?
Gina Hyena
And name it after our significant others.
Zach Amico
Oh, that's amazing.
Gina Hyena
Like, honey, this is the only one in the world. And it's for you.
Luis J. Gomez
That is the dumbest gift on. On the planet when you buy a girl.
Zach Amico
I've never done that.
Ian Finance
People have done that.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, people do that.
Ian Finance
I thought that was like, a thing people do for kids.
Luis J. Gomez
No, no, people do it for the girlfriend. Stupid. Like that. Stupid. Really want a star named after them.
Ian Finance
Ian, have you done that?
Zach Amico
No, I've never done it. I didn't know you could.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. So, Shannon, here's the last thing. Once you get to five, five grand. What is the GoFundMe? Shannon put it in the. First of all, put it in the notes of the show. Second of all, do we. Is there a fun easy URL for it?
Shannon Lee
So I just changed the name of it to Replacing Shannon's Cannons. But The URL is gofundme.com and it's helped Shannon Lee replace her boobs. That didn't change.
Luis J. Gomez
But why didn't it just help Shannon? Why'd you do all of those things?
Shannon Lee
I didn't know that was all going to go into the URL. You just look up Shannon Lee on there and it's going to go to it.
Luis J. Gomez
Okay. Well, I mean, you should make the URL. Can you change the URL?
Shannon Lee
Let me play around with it a little bit.
Luis J. Gomez
If you just do help Shannon.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah. You just could be very, very, very vague. Don't be too descriptive.
Zach Amico
Did you get your tits on in New York? Can you recommend a doctor?
Ian Finance
Yeah, I was researching a lot of AI and behavioral stuff. This weekend. But I'm glad we got right to this.
Luis J. Gomez
No, no, right for the time I.
Ian Finance
Wore a sports bra on purpose on Made more attention to it, didn't it?
Luis J. Gomez
Yes.
Ian Finance
I got them done on Park Avenue just so I could say I got Park Avenue too.
Shannon Lee
How much did they also did I got my done on Park Avenue?
Josh Adam Meyers
20K.
Luis J. Gomez
$20,000?
Ian Finance
Yep.
Zach Amico
Was it worth it?
Ian Finance
Oh, yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
They must be phenomenal.
Ian Finance
Yeah, they're perfect.
Luis J. Gomez
I tweet, I wrote, I made it. You inspired my a tweet today that I wrote.
Ian Finance
Oh, what was it?
Luis J. Gomez
I said if a girl has me want it. I said if a has a link tree and no only fans, she can't be trusted.
Ian Finance
Oh, really?
Luis J. Gomez
You have a link tree? And I was like, oh, link tree. Let's go.
Ian Finance
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
And then there was no only fans and was.
Zach Amico
And then they have the little pepper.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, it's infuriate pepper emoji.
Josh Adam Meyers
You guys know that there's the. The go to. To find anybody's free only fans is you take. Is that what it is? Well, no, I. This is what I do. You take their handle on the only fans and then you go Google search E R O thought so. Arrow thought T H O T or E R O me. And then there's always. It's. It'll take you.
Luis J. Gomez
You don't have. Do you have it?
Ian Finance
I literally have like I signed up for it and there's nothing on it. Just so nobody could like fake minds.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, smart.
Josh Adam Meyers
Why not just do it and make some loot?
Ian Finance
Because I like myself.
Josh Adam Meyers
I don't think it's a matter of. I don't think it's a matter of.
Luis J. Gomez
Like being probably sure dad's alive.
Ian Finance
Growing up, huh?
Gina Hyena
Dad's alive.
Ian Finance
Dad's alive.
Josh Adam Meyers
There we go.
Zach Amico
There you go.
Luis J. Gomez
As soon as your dad dies, we're gonna go go ahead full force.
Ian Finance
And then you'll see me on gas.
Luis J. Gomez
Folks, kill Gina's father. It's a new contest. New contest in the Lewis's action. Whoever murders Gina's father get free skank press tickets.
Josh Adam Meyers
There it is.
Luis J. Gomez
The golden ticket.
Gina Hyena
Yeah, either she'll become a hot only fans girl or a right wing grifter, depending on the ethnicity of the man who kills her father.
Luis J. Gomez
Yes, indeed.
Ian Finance
I also like the idea Tony's going missing because my dad's just an Italian guy named Tony. So now a bunch of Tonys are just gonna be coming up murdered because of this.
Luis J. Gomez
We're gonna actually kill Tony because of the Lewis and Zach show.
Zach Amico
Kill Tony Hyena.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Small Batch Cigar for supporting today's show. We love Small Batch Cigar because they give you amazing service, amazing cigars, amazing products in small batches. Best shipping in the industry. If you guys are buying cigars online, you know, sometimes they show up, they're stale, they're crappy. That's not Small Batch Cigar. They have unbelievable packaging. They give you a Boveda pack with every single purchase, so you know they're going to stay fresh and genuinely. Just an amazing selection of rare, limited, and hard to find cigars.
Gina Hyena
That's right. They have free shipping on every order. And almost every order arrives within two to three days within the continental United States. And you earn 5% rewards points instantly. And Lou, we have a deal for them.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, yeah. If you go to smallbatch cigar.com, click on the new section if you want to shop their newest arrivals. But if you go to smallbatch cigar.com, check out their amazing line of products. Use the promo code GAS10. You're gonna get 10% off plus those 5% rewards points. Once again, that is smallbatch cigar.com. use that promo code GAS10 for 10 off and 5% rewards points. All right, where were we? Is that your real name, Gina Hyena? No.
Ian Finance
No.
Luis J. Gomez
You didn't want it to really be out there?
Ian Finance
No.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. All right.
Zach Amico
I think her last name's Hyena.
Ian Finance
No, I think it's good marketing and hyenas are neat.
Luis J. Gomez
No, that's her real last name.
Josh Adam Meyers
Actually.
Luis J. Gomez
The first name is a fake name. Yeah, no, G is a solid name.
Ian Finance
Thank you.
Zach Amico
Yeah, it rhymes. It's good, right?
Ian Finance
Good marketing.
Luis J. Gomez
So, yeah, we got to get Shannon. Once you hit $5,000. The second you hit $5,000, I will donate the thousand dollars.
Shannon Lee
Okay. I have a quick question because I also got mine down on Park Avenue.
Ian Finance
Yeah.
Shannon Lee
Can you say the name of your Dr. Kolker? Oh, mine's Rapaport.
Ian Finance
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
You fucking dick stain.
Zach Amico
I did some Jewish tits.
Luis J. Gomez
We can. We can get them done cheaper. I don't know why we're.
Zach Amico
That's what you should go for.
Luis J. Gomez
I.
Josh Adam Meyers
When I worked and I. We were. So we're in LA and dude, some girls would go to, like, Tijuana and wouldn't spend money on their tits bits. And they were horrible. There was a girl, I didn't real. I didn't really hook up with a lot of strippers, but one night I. I drove one home and she was like, come on in. And she was just like, you know, like, let's. And I was like, okay. And so she gave me a blow job. It's the only way I could get hot. Dude, she took her shirt off, and her tits were, like, literally, like, the nipples were pointed up. Like, it can go bad.
Zach Amico
Yeah, they look like Steve Buscemi and Big Daddy.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Crazy eyes.
Josh Adam Meyers
So spend them. That's something. It's like you spend the money on that. You spe money on, like. Like, hair plugs. You don't.
Ian Finance
And the recovery, like, the surgeon is mostly what it is. Like, the recovery can either be like, I went out to dinner the next day, or people are, like, on their ass for, like.
Zach Amico
Did you get hair plugs?
Josh Adam Meyers
No. No, I did prp, but I didn't do hair plugs.
Zach Amico
Oh, you did. But you did get hair stuff.
Josh Adam Meyers
I got, like, my hair. Like, they. They shoot medicine into your head. But I didn't get hair plugs. I didn't.
Ian Finance
Platelet rich plasma.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Ian Finance
Was it your platelets?
Zach Amico
Oh, I had to get that from my shoulder.
Josh Adam Meyers
Dude, you should.
Zach Amico
Well, I did, because I. Oh, what.
Josh Adam Meyers
I'm saying, you know, I like that you.
Luis J. Gomez
You.
Zach Amico
You go bald, you're not gonna have a beautiful.
Josh Adam Meyers
You really do.
Luis J. Gomez
Josh would look like a zombie if he was bald.
Josh Adam Meyers
I also have. I have a. I have a huge dent in the back of my head when I crack my skull, so it's just weird looking. And then I have big, bushy eyebrows. It just would look weird.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. Not good. Yeah, I look. Ian, you're going bald.
Zach Amico
No.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, you are.
Luis J. Gomez
Take your hat off. You were happy because you're going bald this morning. You think a hat makes you smell better?
Zach Amico
No, because my hair gets messy. Yeah, because I have hair in my head.
Luis J. Gomez
Let me say. Let's see it. You're going ball a little bit.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
You're receiving, dude.
Josh Adam Meyers
It could. We could help you, bro.
Zach Amico
I like it.
Josh Adam Meyers
It doesn't look bad, but don't you want to stop it before it gets worse?
Zach Amico
Let God take over.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I'm gonna have wrinkles. Gray.
Luis J. Gomez
It's not a problem. But women like that. Women like a confident man. Yeah, he does well. And I know Ian does well. Dude, I see you.
Josh Adam Meyers
I see you out in these streets. Got a new bird.
Luis J. Gomez
It's crazy. Every time I talk to a hot chick, she's like, oh, yeah, I think Ian's hot. I'm like, are you retarded? Cause I see Ian's face and I see everything about him. Like, how does a woman want to have sex with Him.
Josh Adam Meyers
He's confident. Yeah, he's confident. You own your shit, your finance.
Luis J. Gomez
That's what I have. Confidence.
Gina Hyena
So Shannon's confident bald guys. Stavi's movie. Very funny.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, yeah.
Gina Hyena
Let's start a cult.
Luis J. Gomez
It's good.
Gina Hyena
It's great, dude. Like, old school funny.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
Really?
Gina Hyena
That fucking is hard. R. Really fucking funny.
Luis J. Gomez
Funny movie.
Gina Hyena
Not that.
Luis J. Gomez
No. Pushing the box. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Oh, great.
Ian Finance
We're back.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
I loved it. I really loved it. Loved it.
Josh Adam Meyers
He's a great dude.
Luis J. Gomez
Good. Good for him. You know what I watched last night? I started watching her on the plane and I was like. Just to essentially put myself to sleep because I was so tired. But then I ended up kind of getting engaged with it. And I watched the whole movie. I got home. Nosferatu.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, it's.
Zach Amico
I love that. Speaking of creepy, weirdo looking guys. That's my movie.
Luis J. Gomez
That's.
Zach Amico
Yeah, that is.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, it was. It was. People hated on it.
Josh Adam Meyers
It's on the flight already.
Luis J. Gomez
Come to the real spot.
Zach Amico
I saw it and I couldn't stop doing his voice. Like, him talking to his landlord about where his rent money went. Like. You'll see what had happened was I had to buy some.
Gina Hyena
That's the landlord.
Luis J. Gomez
Sure. The check is in the mail?
Josh Adam Meyers
Yes.
Zach Amico
Oh, it bounced. I'm sorry.
Josh Adam Meyers
It's already.
Luis J. Gomez
He did he. I was. I was reading, like, the dumb little facts. Yeah, it's on Amazon. I bought it actually, because I wanted to download it.
Zach Amico
Good.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. And I was reading the facts and what's his name? It's. It. It's whoever played it. Bill Scars.
Zach Amico
Bills.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. He. He did. What is it called? Where it's like they do really deep chanting.
Zach Amico
Gregorian chanting.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. He did that to, like, get to nail the voice.
Josh Adam Meyers
That's how I talk all the time.
Luis J. Gomez
And I will say, lily Rose Death. That pretty toy dude. I like her little tits. Say, you didn't have to spend 20k, dude.
Ian Finance
No, I'm into it because.
Luis J. Gomez
Hey, what's your problem?
Zach Amico
Like, me?
Luis J. Gomez
What is your problem, Gina?
Ian Finance
You think that I'm saying you had a big forehead.
Luis J. Gomez
No, no, I know. You're saying, I know this isn't a big forehead. I'm going bald.
Ian Finance
I'm saying Lily Rose Depp has a big forehead and little tits. And it looks great because I also had a big forehead and og. Little tits.
Luis J. Gomez
Did you have little tits?
Ian Finance
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Like, sad little flatness.
Ian Finance
No, they weren't sad. They're just like. I have wide hips. So I was like, I'd rather look like this.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. No, No, I like Lily Rose's little tits. Nice. Dude.
Zach Amico
There's some. That movie like horned women up because it has to deal with like possession and like doing something to like get you and everything.
Luis J. Gomez
And she had like, she had to give herself to this monster. It could not be raped. That was the whole point was like, he couldn't rape her. She had to agree.
Zach Amico
She had to say, let me in.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, dude. He had to like, he had to literally.
Gina Hyena
Vampires work.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, dude.
Gina Hyena
You have to invite them in.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, yeah. Ye. He had to fucking gaslight her into thinking she wanted that fucking ugly monster's cock. This is my. The story of my life with every woman that I've ever dated. Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
I did not get.
Gina Hyena
Vampires can't rape. That's why Blade was such a big deal.
Zach Amico
Have.
Gina Hyena
Have black guy have vampire. Who's first vampire.
Luis J. Gomez
She's in that poor Blade. He never got invited in anywhere.
Zach Amico
He actually got asked to leave.
Luis J. Gomez
He's like, that's okay to be a black vampire stuff. Yeah, dude. I.
Josh Adam Meyers
No sneakers, no tank tops, no jersey.
Zach Amico
Well, I don't live in the neighborhood. I am visiting.
Luis J. Gomez
There goes the neighborhood. I, I liked it. I, I really great. Yeah. The way it. I don't want to ruin it.
Zach Amico
How great was that shot with the shadow of his hand?
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, yeah, of course. Well, that was like an homage to the old one. Yeah, yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
Have you seen. Yeah, have you seen Long Legs, the Nicolas Cage movie?
Luis J. Gomez
Look how much fun we were having talking about Nosferatu. Then Josh brings up some horseshit movies.
Josh Adam Meyers
What are you talking about?
Zach Amico
Horseshit?
Josh Adam Meyers
Movie's awesome.
Luis J. Gomez
Look at Lego dogs.
Zach Amico
Interrupting you to get heroin stories.
Luis J. Gomez
We're having fun with this voice right now, Josh. Like, have you seen Long Legs? It's about a daddy Long Leg. What is it about?
Josh Adam Meyers
It's about a serial killer named Long Legs. And it's violent and it's funny and Nicholas Cage is over the top in it and I thought you guys would enjoy it.
Zach Amico
Funny.
Josh Adam Meyers
Horrific.
Zach Amico
Why is it funny? It's cuz it's, it's, it's jarring.
Josh Adam Meyers
It's. But it's scary and it's fun and it's gross and it's. You don't like violence?
Luis J. Gomez
No. Let's see. The. In the racist live chat says Long Legs is Y.
Josh Adam Meyers
That's not true.
Zach Amico
Y.
Luis J. Gomez
Bad dog says it's not violent at all. Pot. Pace says, shut up. Josh like bit.
Zach Amico
It's like violence off screen.
Luis J. Gomez
Hold on. Username J. Dawkins says, sounds dumb.
Josh Adam Meyers
I tried. I'm sorry. I'M a lot.
Luis J. Gomez
I'm around. But look, I, I don't. You didn't make me want to see Long Legs from your description. We made everyone want to see Nosferatu. Everyone's like, dude, let's go. Great.
Ian Finance
The dog's going to get you some drugs.
Josh Adam Meyers
It's a hard movie. Like two years ago, a year and a half. But it's on the flights and it's.
Zach Amico
It'S, it's a good flight movie.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah, but I, I saw it in theaters. I didn't like it.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, I never, I never saw it. I, I typically don't watch movies on flights, but really, Air Canada just has terrible wi fi, so I couldn't scroll. I couldn't argue with trolls on Twitter. I stopped arguing with trolls on Twitter altogether.
Zach Amico
It's tough. It's so hard.
Luis J. Gomez
There's been a couple, there's been a couple recently where I'm like, oh, I want to argue, but I made a decision that I'm gonna stop arguing with trolls on Twitter. I was doing it just too much. Yeah, I was trolling the trolls and they were trolling me back. And nobody was, nobody was a winner here. I know, it really is, it's pretty wild. Like there's like adults who make accounts just to troll comedians. Yeah, it's, it's, I, I, I'm just saying like when you're making that account and you're like, dude, I'm going to make this account just so I can say mean things to Jim Norton. Like, you don't feel, you don't feel like a loser when you type in.
Zach Amico
Always like older, gossipy men.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, it's like weird.
Luis J. Gomez
If it was like a 17 year old kid, I would go like, have fun. You're young.
Zach Amico
They listen to everything all day. And they're like, this guy said this and this and this. It's a crazy old fan.
Luis J. Gomez
And I'm going like, how do you, how do you think you're winning? I don't understand. Like, it's fine. I get what you're saying. You're, you're saying mean things at ComEd. I understand why maybe that you think that's fun, but at one point you have to look in the mirror and go, what am I doing with my life? I'm literally making an account to tweet at a man that I don't know.
Josh Adam Meyers
They have nothing going on. That's the reason why they have a dead end job. And so they're sitting there and they're listening to all of, all of Us. And they're just, like. They feel like they're a part of it. So then they just like, yeah, fandom.
Gina Hyena
And then there's an adult human who. I wonder what Stuttering John said last night.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
Thought when you wake up is. I have to check to see what John Melendez, who has not been on Media in 25 years, said.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, just kill yourself, Sutter. John blocked me on everything. I don't. I have no idea why people. People have trolled him into thinking that we're enemies, and now I'm just blocked from Stuttering John. I've never interacted with this guy once in my entire life.
Zach Amico
Have you seen long Legs? I. Yeah. I. I don't know. I. I just couldn't imagine even, like, saying something negative or, like.
Luis J. Gomez
No, I understand saying something negative. We do it, dude. I just. We just trash long legs. Like, Long legs the director.
Zach Amico
And being like, here it is you. Or like, something on, like, a YouTube, like, I. I just don't understand.
Luis J. Gomez
So I don't consider being. Being critical of something online is not the same as creating an account. Account. Like a secret account with a. A Trump photo to be like, hey, you. You're a comedian. I hate.
Zach Amico
I lose my. I have DM people and been like, you know my schedule. I will pay for your hotel. Please shoot a fair one with me. I don't give a. I'll go to the hospital to prove a point. Yeah, like, I lose. It's. Something makes me go, like, I see red. I just seem to, like, walk away.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, you do. You need to. Well, that's why I would do.
Zach Amico
I'm not gonna Twitter. And that pisses me off when people are like, this sucks. Well, I'm like, yeah, I Twitter. I just have a dumb thing, and it falls out of my head.
Luis J. Gomez
Well, I was the same way. And granted, I don't. I'm not like, come shoot a fair one. Because that's why. I know that's cringe and crazy.
Zach Amico
I know.
Luis J. Gomez
I know they do know where we're at. My schedule's online every day. That's why so far, like, I get protective of, like, my hometown. I don't want people to know at home, for some reason, I'm like, I don't want people to know my hometown. It's like, it doesn't matter. They know where I'm at every day. Every time they could walk in, they can shoot me. That's. That's that. But, yeah, it's a. It's a very strange thing. And the. I Would kind of drive myself crazy, too. And it wasn't even. Like, it wasn't even getting me angry. I would. I would, like, go on a flight, and I would just tweet at them, and I'd go back to them. I'd spend four hours on a flight just going back and forth with trolls, taking a screenshot of their face and being like, look at this ugly.
Josh Adam Meyers
I've seen that.
Luis J. Gomez
And it's just. It's great. It was. It was one of my favorite things to do, but I. I had to stop doing it. I was like, nobody that I respect does this, Nobody that I have any respect for spending their time doing that at all. And granted, everybody looks at the. Everybody. It does. You do see the. Everyone who. Anyone who says they don't look at the comments. The only reason they're saying that is because they look at the comments. Yeah, everybody looks at the comments.
Zach Amico
And I don't think about that because I just see red, and I'm like, it's just me and this person. And then I see Todd Barrett. He's like, you really lost it on Twitter today. Oh, no.
Luis J. Gomez
It's like, why are you on Twitter?
Ian Finance
I only had time once, and it was an account called Tan Stewie. It was like a fake picture of Stewie Griffin, and it was like they only had, like, 100 followers, and they said something about me, and it was like, it was some douchey guy getting tables. And I was like, yeah, this asshole's 46 years old, like, just acting like this. And somebody was like, yeah, and you're too old for him, bitch. And I was like, yeah, because I have my menses. And it was like a joke. Like, yeah, because that guy's a fucking pedophile. And the guy writes back, and he's like, yeah, I bet you do if you and every other dumb female comedian have to date a bunch of men. And I was like, where did this come from? And it turned out that Tan Stewie thought menses meant menses. He didn't. Never heard the phrase menses. He thought it was the plural. The word men. Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
What an asshole.
Josh Adam Meyers
What the.
Luis J. Gomez
What a stupid. Never heard the term menses.
Ian Finance
Menses is your period.
Luis J. Gomez
Just FYI.
Gina Hyena
Menstrually.
Zach Amico
Oh, I thought men was menopause.
Ian Finance
No. We're all learning.
Luis J. Gomez
No.
Ian Finance
Huh? No. Mensies.
Zach Amico
No.
Ian Finance
I think menopause is when it stops. So when I said I'm too old for him because I have my menses, it meant, like, he's a pedophile.
Zach Amico
Oh, I thought, are you Tan.
Ian Finance
Stewie?
Zach Amico
Yes, Lois?
Luis J. Gomez
I would like to smell your tampon.
Zach Amico
Do you mind if I just drink from you're.
Luis J. Gomez
Do you think vampires would take a tampon and just, like, suck?
Zach Amico
It's like a lollipop.
Luis J. Gomez
It's delicious.
Zach Amico
How many licks to get to the.
Luis J. Gomez
1, 2, 3.
Zach Amico
How like, what a prison move it was for Nosferatu to get that guy to be like, that's a lock of your wife's hair. Let me hold on to it for you.
Luis J. Gomez
He's like, okay, it was good, dude. I liked it.
Zach Amico
I like him.
Luis J. Gomez
Then I went home and I jerked off to nudes of Lily Rose Depp. Really?
Josh Adam Meyers
You just watched that show she did on hbo?
Luis J. Gomez
I never watched it, but I just watched the nude scene.
Ian Finance
Oh, the trash one that the Weekend produced?
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
She's like, naked throughout the whole thing.
Luis J. Gomez
Hell yeah, dude. She's pretty toy, Dude.
Josh Adam Meyers
Dude, she's in long legs, too.
Zach Amico
Yeah, shut up.
Luis J. Gomez
No, she's not. Is that why you thought of long legs?
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Nuh. She's not in long legs.
Ian Finance
Everyone apologizes.
Josh Adam Meyers
Same thing with she's not long legs.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, there she is. Look at her little tits, dude. I love them.
Josh Adam Meyers
Whoa.
Luis J. Gomez
I love her big nipples and little tits. Yeah. Thanks, Shannon. Shannon, this is what you could. If you just take your tits out and don't get new ones. This is what you look like.
Shannon Lee
No, it's. They're not gonna look like that.
Luis J. Gomez
What are they gonna look like?
Shannon Lee
Well, now they've been bigger for so long, it's. They're gonna be all.
Luis J. Gomez
They're gonna look like Daddy Smith.
Gina Hyena
Oh, yeah. Natty Smith.
Zach Amico
Wait, look, is Lily Rose in?
Josh Adam Meyers
No, she's not.
Zach Amico
See, I knew it.
Josh Adam Meyers
But there's a girl that looks like her in it.
Luis J. Gomez
Thanks, Josh.
Gina Hyena
No, there's not.
Josh Adam Meyers
Just her is the main actress.
Gina Hyena
I just think everything you say, we should just say, no, no, no, no, she's not.
Zach Amico
Dude, I. If you're lying about Lily Rose. Deaf Deb, you're definitely lying about her being a service animal.
Josh Adam Meyers
That's complete and utter bullshit.
Ian Finance
Dog looks nervous.
Josh Adam Meyers
Look at the girl. Micah Monroe. She's hot.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah. She's a babe. She's. She's a great, great actress.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, it's. It's Zach, back me up. You're the horror guy, man. We've talked about this, man. Say, just let him know. Don't make me.
Gina Hyena
It's a movie already.
Josh Adam Meyers
I ruined the joke.
Luis J. Gomez
To say long legs is Shannon. Shannon. Can I just say, if you sort of wearing, like, things showing your tits now, we'd probably get more money to your GoFundMe quicker. Is it though?
Shannon Lee
Because isn't. What. Didn't we say after it's done, like, then there's.
Luis J. Gomez
They want to see the before and after. Yeah.
Zach Amico
They need to know how mangled.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
They look like those on his back. His back was up.
Gina Hyena
The king of referencing a movie he saw this week.
Luis J. Gomez
I loved it.
Gina Hyena
Everything that happens will be Nosferatu.
Luis J. Gomez
Ah, it was a good movie. Did you watch it back?
Gina Hyena
No, I've not seen it yet.
Luis J. Gomez
So you're going to like it. Dude, you're a horror God. I think you're going to. I think you're going to like it. I want to watch the old one now. This is what. What happens is when I watch a movie or like, whatever, if I read a book, like, I gotta, like, get all the lore about it. You know what I'm saying? So now I want to watch the old one. Then they made another one a few years ago. They made one in 2023. A Nosferatu movie came out.
Zach Amico
Really?
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
Well, there's one that's the making of it. There's like a. A narrative version of them filming of.
Luis J. Gomez
The old school one.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah. Wow.
Gina Hyena
And that's somebody famous as him.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was in like the 90s. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. What was the one that came out in 2023? Shannon? Can we see the trailer for that one? I mean, sometimes this happens this way, but the Steve Jobs movie, like, one of them is such a piece of. They're like, we're just gonna do this again. We're gonna make another one right now.
Josh Adam Meyers
There was like a good one and then they make the shitty one. So it was because there was the one with Steve Jobs about. With what's his name? Fastbender.
Luis J. Gomez
Michael Fassbender. That one was great.
Josh Adam Meyers
That was great. And then they did one with Ashton.
Luis J. Gomez
Kutcher, which was Horseshoe.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. But I still like the both, to be honest with you. Yeah.
Zach Amico
See, I don't. When I see something, I don't have to go back in the lore. If I like something, I'll watch it over and over.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I don't know what, like, is that, like autisms.
Luis J. Gomez
This is the. The last Nosferatu. 2023. Let's see.
Shannon Lee
It's. Yeah, this is it, though. The last Nosferatu maybe is that.
Luis J. Gomez
It was in 2023. I thought it was just called Nosferatu. Yeah, it was Willem Defo who played him in the. And then Willem Dafoe. Was also in the newness for.
Zach Amico
Oh, he was great.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, I knew that was the case.
Zach Amico
Was it a comedy?
Josh Adam Meyers
Waiting three days again? I guess.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
What's the name of the new.
Luis J. Gomez
This isn't. No, they have computers, bro.
Zach Amico
The sound on this sounds way too amateurish.
Luis J. Gomez
Turn off right now.
Zach Amico
This is a game.
Luis J. Gomez
Turn it off right now. Turn it the off. I'm pissed right now. That made me angry. I don't know why I got so mad at that. Is that the Nosferatu from 2023? There must be a difference.
Josh Adam Meyers
Wasted our life.
Shannon Lee
Can you share this? When I. When I look it up, I see this. It's just that the trailer isn't coming up. This seems like a different one.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, that is a different one.
Shannon Lee
But the trailer isn't coming up. I'll keep looking.
Zach Amico
That was the beginning of a gay porno.
Ian Finance
That was not nice.
Shannon Lee
I think I found it.
Luis J. Gomez
Let's see. Shannon. Thank you, Shannon. Finally. This is more Nosferatui.
Ian Finance
This is what I'm talking about.
Gina Hyena
Nosferatui is where he has a bat.
Luis J. Gomez
That lives.
Zach Amico
For you to deliver all.
Josh Adam Meyers
The papers to him first.
Zach Amico
This is 2023. I know nothing of that area. Indeed, there may be some.
Luis J. Gomez
This is a piece of as well. I hate it.
Gina Hyena
It's too stylized. It looks silly now.
Josh Adam Meyers
I'd watch this gay porno.
Ian Finance
Yeah, there's like five filters on this.
Luis J. Gomez
She's also pretty toy. Is the original nose Friday the same? So I'm assuming that's the story, right?
Ian Finance
Silent.
Gina Hyena
Yeah, it's.
Luis J. Gomez
Is it silent?
Ian Finance
Dracula Silent, right?
Luis J. Gomez
No, I know it's Dracula.
Gina Hyena
They couldn't call it Dracula.
Luis J. Gomez
I know. They, they, they. They almost got sued by his wife.
Gina Hyena
If you're gonna see the original because Mrs. Stone.
Luis J. Gomez
Joker.
Gina Hyena
It's silent. The way to see it is they'll do screenings of it with a live orchestra.
Luis J. Gomez
Okay, that's pretty dope.
Gina Hyena
And that's the way it is because it's very flat by itself.
Luis J. Gomez
Like Lily Rose Depp.
Gina Hyena
It's like old, old.
Luis J. Gomez
Thank you, folks.
Gina Hyena
If you wait till around Halloween time, I'm sure. Especially with the new one out.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
There will be events where you can go see it with a band. And that's the way to see movies like that.
Shannon Lee
I have the trailer for the original.
Luis J. Gomez
Let's see the original one. Shannon.
Gina Hyena
Back in the day, old movie theaters would have like a piano player.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
And that's really cool.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, this is like 19.
Luis J. Gomez
1922, I think it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't even know they Were making movies in 1922. Oh.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
You might have a hard time sitting through this, buddy.
Luis J. Gomez
Don't tell me I can see.
Gina Hyena
No, I, I, I'm not trying to insult you. I'm saying these movies are hard for me to get through, and I'm, like, obsessive about them.
Luis J. Gomez
Ari Shafir.
Zach Amico
Whoa.
Josh Adam Meyers
People look so weird back in the day.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, dude. All right, we got it, Chad. I'm done with it. I'm over it. I can't even get to the trailer much. Yeah. Holy.
Gina Hyena
Yeah, I wasn't trying to insult you, pal.
Luis J. Gomez
No, it's fine. Look, dude, let's get some plugs out of the way. We're just, we're just rolling here, baby. Boys, it's been a Nosferatu Monday. Nosferat Tuesday. We should have done it tomorrow, dude.
Zach Amico
Another Nosferatu Monday.
Luis J. Gomez
You know what? We're gonna pretend Ian didn't just make that joke, please. What are you plugging my friend? And let me get a black coffee with a little bit of Splendid. Just like a half a Splenda and it please, Shannon.
Zach Amico
Hi, everybody. Come see me on the road. Ian finance.com for tickets this weekend. Valentine's Day weekend, I'm at Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine.
Luis J. Gomez
Great club.
Zach Amico
February 21st to 22nd, Portland healing in Portland, Oregon. And then I'm going to Skyline in Portland. Portland, Appleton, Wisconsin. Fayetteville, Arkansas. Raleigh. Improv wise guys. Vegas. I got a ton of dates. I'm on the road every weekend to, like, May. So ianfinance.com for all the tickets. Come on out. I always love seeing you guys in the crowd. And I animal6nine on Instagram. And being Ian with Jordan is the podcast every Wednesday. Thank you.
Luis J. Gomez
Very cool.
Josh Adam Meyers
Josh at Josh Adamiers. You gotta see it. Watch me in long legs. It's a great movie. Listen to my podcast, the 500. I'm going through Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 greatest albums making our way down. It's. It's a lot of fun this weekend. Valentine's Day weekend, I'm at the Punchline in Atlanta. Then Sunday and Monday, I'll be at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles doing the jam, doing shimmy. I think I'm gonna be. I'm on the show with you guys, the big J show as well that week. You'll be there too? Yeah, With Davitel.
Gina Hyena
Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
We're gonna have fun. It's gonna be great.
Luis J. Gomez
You're gonna be in LA next week. Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
What?
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, baby. Yeah. I wish you guys you guys aren't here on Sunday or Monday, are you?
Zach Amico
I am.
Josh Adam Meyers
Are you? You want to do the jam on Sunday, too?
Luis J. Gomez
Perfect.
Josh Adam Meyers
You're on the Jam the Sunday before the Sunday the 16th. And then when are you getting.
Luis J. Gomez
I get. I'm gonna get in Wednesday.
Josh Adam Meyers
Are you doing. Doing Kill. Are you doing Kill Tony?
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, wait, no, no, they're not in Austin. This is in.
Josh Adam Meyers
No, no, I'm in Los Angeles. But I know, like, Jay is coming and he's doing Kill Tony.
Luis J. Gomez
No, no, no. I'm just coming in on Wednesday. Wednesday, Thursday, I'm hanging in la.
Josh Adam Meyers
I'll be there with you guys. So come see us all at the goddamn Comedy Jam. That's gonna rule again. It's super fun. The Shimmy on Monday. And then the following weekend, I'll be at the Reno Laugh Factory. And then the weekend after that, I'm at the Dallas Comedy Club. And then I'm just on the road for the rest of the year. So go to Josh, Adam Myers.com for tickets.
Luis J. Gomez
Gina Hyena.
Ian Finance
I am Eggs and Hot Sauce on Instagram. Eggs, letter N, Hot sauce. I will be in Brooklyn in March. I will be in Austin, all over Austin in April. So just, I don't know, check my Instagram. That's it.
Luis J. Gomez
All right. All right. Zach Amico.
Gina Hyena
This weekend, Worcester, Massachusetts, Juggalo weekend. I'll be doing commentary for jcw. And next week, I'll have a bunch of dates in Canada for you.
Luis J. Gomez
Very cool. Come see me on the road, guys. We have Story wars live at the comedy store on February 19th. Those tickets are already almost sold out, so get them early. Don't wait. I think Whitney is confirmed now. Whitney's a lunatic. I'm trying to confirm her. She's just, like, giving me all of these different answers. But we got Bobby Lee, we have Adam Ray. It's gonna be an incredible story wars, so come out for that. It's gonna be a goddamn blast. Wise guy. Salt Lake City. Salt Lake city, Utah, on February 21st and 22nd, I'm in South Bend, Indiana. The end of March rally, North Carolina. Raleigh, Raleigh, North Carolina, on March 23, Saint Catharines, Ontario. @ the end of March, London, Ontario. Windsor, Ontario. Burlington, Ontario. Lots of Canadian dates coming up. At the end of March, I'm in Philadelphia. My birthday weekend, Punchline, Philly. Then we have a story war course at the lab at Zany's, Nashville, Tennessee, for the Nashville Comedy Festival. And then I re. My North Charleston dates got rebooked for the 11th and 12th, I believe, of April. It's not on the website, but they're up there. The tickets are out, so. I know. Although the. I think Saturday's already sold out. But Friday night there's tickets for American Comedy Company at the end of April and a lot more. The Bring five Friends tour. Bring five friends out. I'm gonna tell you right now, I had a goddamn blast in Winnipeg. It was a. It was great. What a great room. Great fans. Yeah, Rumors. Awesome. Love those guys.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Shout out to Tyler and the entire crew there. They were. Awesome. And then, yeah, come check out all my other podcasts, the Regs, Story wars and obviously the Legendary Legion. If you guys sign up for my mailing list, there's a bonus podcast that I do every Friday called the Lewis Journal Podcast. You get a newsletter as well every Friday with all the news news about Skank Fest, Gas Digital and more. And I'm starting to give away a pair of all access VIP tickets with the pre sell for Skank Fest just to that mailing list. The only way you're going to get the, the pre sale tickets, the, the VIP with the Thursday night kickoff party are by subscribing to my email list and winning them on that mailing list. I'm gonna do it once a month up until Skank Fest. So there's basically 10 opportunities to win, guys. So go do that right now. Louisofskanks.com and that's it, right? Subscribe to Gas Digital. The new Gas Digital. Use the promo code Laz. If you love this show you should know there's an uncensored ad free version of the show that's just for subscribers. There's pre release. You get to watch the live stream, access the racist live chat and a bonus episode just for subscribers every Friday. That episode comes out just for guests digital subscribers. So make sure you guys use the promo code Laz. It is the number one way that you can support the show. There's over a thousand episodes on demand uncensored ad free and that are not available anywhere else, just at gas stations. Digital.com Can I ask you a question?
Josh Adam Meyers
I don't know if it's hidden or not, so I'm so excited about New Orleans Gang Fest like beyond just not only just for new location but it's like such one of my favorite cities. Where did you plan? Or you're not announcing where the jam is going to be or it's like.
Luis J. Gomez
So we don't got to say it's not a secret but okay. So every night at the end of the Night. So the way it works is the. The venue has like five or six rooms. There's one room that can be converted and we're converting that room at the end of the night. So everybody in the festival will be at the jam at the end of the night.
Zach Amico
Whoa.
Luis J. Gomez
Like, the entire night. The entire festival will. Literally the. The whole festival. It's gonna look like a rock concert. It's gonna be wild. Not just a select few. There's not nothing competing. The end of the night, 11 o'clock will hit the goddamn Comedy Jam. It'll be the biggest show of the festival.
Zach Amico
Awesome.
Luis J. Gomez
Also, I. I can't. I want your opinions. I can't say this.
Zach Amico
Can I. Can I just say something real quick? It is so cool that we are all doing it. We're out on the road, we're having fun, and it's such a. There's so much negativity out there, and we are coming together to be positive. Look at me, Lewis, look at me. Look at me in the eyes. And it is so cool that we are just all being positive.
Luis J. Gomez
Do me a favor. I want. Don't say this out loud, okay? These are the two options for the kickoff party band. And I want to know what you guys would vote for because it's been. This is. I've asked everybody on the staff. We are. We're so split. Everybody has different opinions on this, but don't say it out loud. Just say one or two. What would you rather Two? I don't. Gina, you're a woman. You're not going to even understand what this means.
Ian Finance
1.
Luis J. Gomez
Don't. Don't show it. Don't we.
Josh Adam Meyers
No.
Zach Amico
Oh, my God. 1.
Luis J. Gomez
1. Shut up. Shut up.
Zach Amico
1. Are you kidding me? I almost wore the shirt today.
Luis J. Gomez
Shut up.
Josh Adam Meyers
Neither.
Luis J. Gomez
Long legs.
Josh Adam Meyers
Can we get long legs?
Luis J. Gomez
Can we get a screening? And long legs.
Josh Adam Meyers
Long legs should be the kickoff. 1. I'm going to say 2. I'm going to say 2.
Zach Amico
Are you insane?
Ian Finance
1.
Josh Adam Meyers
No, dude. Dude, that 2 is.
Luis J. Gomez
See how split it is?
Zach Amico
It's so split.
Gina Hyena
People that like music and people that like one.
Zach Amico
One would be, like, amazing.
Josh Adam Meyers
Both are great.
Zach Amico
To get punched in the face at the beginning of the festival.
Josh Adam Meyers
You win either way.
Luis J. Gomez
Burn that. Burn. Give me that scrap.
Gina Hyena
You.
Josh Adam Meyers
You win either way.
Luis J. Gomez
You win either way.
Josh Adam Meyers
But both.
Luis J. Gomez
Both are legendary.
Josh Adam Meyers
X. Dude, I think. I think if you do two, you leave the option of like. Like somebody coming with.
Luis J. Gomez
Say nothing else.
Zach Amico
Yeah, but two, by the way.
Luis J. Gomez
One, by the way, one also has the same exact option because one, Say nothing else.
Zach Amico
No, I know what you mean.
Ian Finance
Crossover fan base with you guys.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
So can I just say one? Even if you don't know the music, similar to the Insane Clown Posse, it's just gonna be a show that thumps. Yeah, yeah. If you ever listen to their music, like, it's literally. You don't even have to know. You're just gonna be like, oh, cool. I want to punch people in the face and jump up and down.
Ian Finance
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Two. Two. My concern with two is, is that he every girl. No, no. My concern with two is that similarly to Seven Dust, I think some people might start checking out when they don't know the music. And it's not just as like Cuz with Seven, Seven is great. But they had three hits. Yeah. And then once they started playing like other that people didn't know, people were kind of like, all right, this is cool.
Zach Amico
People don't even know number two stuff.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, no, no, no.
Luis J. Gomez
Number two is. Number two is like four times as famous.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah. Number two is such a great performer.
Zach Amico
That can't be noodling.
Ian Finance
Number one is nostalgic too, so I would.
Luis J. Gomez
Number two is. No, they're both nostalgic.
Zach Amico
Number one is good for stage diving, crowd surfing, people involved. The other ones, like, sit back and be like, oh, cool.
Josh Adam Meyers
No, not at all.
Luis J. Gomez
You don't say another. I shouldn't have said. I shouldn't have said it. But by the way, both of them are yeses. Both of them are the same price.
Zach Amico
At the first one. Who are you leaning towards so many times?
Josh Adam Meyers
Who are you picking?
Luis J. Gomez
You see the thing? You probably told that story on something I never have say nothing else. Give me that paper.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Luis J. Gomez
Give me that paper right now.
Zach Amico
I love Flock of Seagull. Sorry I ruined it.
Luis J. Gomez
Give me that paper right now. I'm, I'm, I'm genuinely torn. I don't know. I, It's Natalie and Bruce.
Josh Adam Meyers
Between Natalie, Bruly and Lisa. It's like you should say the two.
Luis J. Gomez
Of them, dude, Natalie Brugia would rule. Dude, I used to beat my dick senseless to Natalie that she was so hot when that song came out.
Zach Amico
Oh, my God, dude, if you got Nelly Furtado and Natalie and Brulia, it would.
Luis J. Gomez
I'm like, I don't know where my home.
Zach Amico
You know? Number one's the answer.
Josh Adam Meyers
I don't. We both know, man.
Luis J. Gomez
I, I, it's, I would say everyone that I've asked, it's been split like when Once again. Two. One. Two, one. Every. Every. The whole staff. I'm really torn. I'm more leaning toward one just because I think I. I'm looking at it from the fan's perspective, and I just feel like you don't have to know the music to enjoy the show.
Josh Adam Meyers
Then, then, then, then, then I will, Will, will lean towards one then, if that's what you think. Because if you really just want a.
Zach Amico
Good show and if you know the lyrics, you could go on stage and sing. Sing if you know some of the songs.
Luis J. Gomez
What's funny is their lyrics. I can't even say this much, but their lyrics all sound like a T shirt. It's not even a T shirt. It's like every. Every single. Every chorus is like something that a mom would have, like, above the couch in the living room. They're the live, laugh, love lyrics of metal music.
Zach Amico
I legit almost wore.
Luis J. Gomez
Shut up.
Ian Finance
That's so.
Luis J. Gomez
Just shut up.
Gina Hyena
All their lyrics sound like a sign at HomeGoods.
Ian Finance
It sounds like a jocko willing thing.
Luis J. Gomez
Yes.
Zach Amico
Look, I was gonna wear my Metallica hoodie. I'm sorry.
Luis J. Gomez
We're gonna move on. Okay. Okay.
Josh Adam Meyers
Do a curveball and get Smash Mouth. Dude, do something like that.
Zach Amico
He died.
Josh Adam Meyers
I'll get the new Smash Mouth.
Zach Amico
Smash Mouth.
Luis J. Gomez
There's a lot of. There's a lot of, like, one hit wonders that would be available, but that's not.
Josh Adam Meyers
We, you know, get the Breakfast at Tiffany's, guys.
Luis J. Gomez
We. Look, it's got to be hip hop or metal. Obviously, when we did Everlast, it was a. Yeah, you need that Everlasted as acoustic set. It was.
Ian Finance
Oh, your dog would get nervous about Everlast too.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, it's true.
Josh Adam Meyers
What. What hip hop have. Have you guys? Because you could probably get like, J or like, we.
Zach Amico
We're gonna get Natalie and Brulee. I'm gonna be jizzing.
Luis J. Gomez
We're gonna. We're gonna move on from this conversation because I don't want anybody to slip up. But I wanted to get your opinions on it because we have to pick. We have to pick very specific.
Ian Finance
Soon Maroon 5 is going to be sick.
Zach Amico
Do imagine.
Luis J. Gomez
All right, so, okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Yo Kratom for supporting today's show. We love your Kratom here at the Gas Digital Network. They are the marquee sponsors for everything we do. Five years in a row, the marquee sponsors for Skank Fest. So without. Without your Kratom, genuinely, a lot of the comedy that you guys love wouldn't even be here because they make it easier. They're the Most baller ass, ride or die sponsors in the business. So if you guys are over 21 years old and in the market for crypto Kratom, get it from YourCratum.com.
Gina Hyena
That'S right. Stop going to bodega smoke shops or gas stations and getting a little bit of kratom at a time, and you don't even know what's in there when. Yecratum.com has the best trains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do and the best deal in the world of kratom. Lewis. $60 for a whole kilo?
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, you don't need to use any promo codes or anything. They already have the best deal possible. I call them the Arizona iced tea of kratom. Ycratom.com. all right, where were we? Let's talk about this. Zach brought this in. Sports reporter dies in hotel room while covering the Super Bowl.
Josh Adam Meyers
What?
Gina Hyena
Oh, this is a. I want to play a game here called let's figure out what happened.
Ian Finance
Sports reporter died.
Zach Amico
Oh, let me take a guess. If they had Lea dog there, they would have lived. They would have lived.
Josh Adam Meyers
No, they bet.
Gina Hyena
I think the story is so obvious, and they say what it is in the story. I think I know, and it really makes me laugh.
Ian Finance
They bet on the 49ers.
Gina Hyena
Just. No, he died before Super Bowl.
Josh Adam Meyers
He died like two days before.
Gina Hyena
Check out this. Just take it in for a second.
Luis J. Gomez
Let's see.
Shannon Lee
Okay, so this guy Aden Adam Manzano was in New Orleans covering the Super Bowl. He was in his hotel, and he went into his hotel with a chick, and then just the chick comes out. It turns out he's dead.
Luis J. Gomez
Wow.
Josh Adam Meyers
Can I start guessing? Okay.
Ian Finance
Shoved cr.
Gina Hyena
She gets caught.
Luis J. Gomez
She needed the money.
Gina Hyena
Oh, because she was using his credit cards.
Josh Adam Meyers
He's a prostitute, obviously.
Gina Hyena
He was 27 and she was 49.
Josh Adam Meyers
It's a good prostitute, dude. She's been in the game for a.
Gina Hyena
While, and every article describes her as a career criminal.
Shannon Lee
I have a picture of her if you want to see.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah. Yes.
Ian Finance
Was her street name Old Bay.
Gina Hyena
Oh. And all I can think. And by the way, the footage of them going back to his hotel is at 5am yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
He's doing coke and he's got a.
Gina Hyena
Hooker, and she murdered.
Josh Adam Meyers
He's doing coke.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, I think she murdered him. How did he die?
Gina Hyena
It's how she got arrested for homicide.
Shannon Lee
So the. The cause of death isn't released yet, but as part of the stuff she's done in the past. Sorry if you said this already, but aside from being a career criminal, she has also. Did you say this right? Sorry. She has also drugged men before and stolen from them. Kind of like a cardi b type thing. So maybe she didn't intend to kill. Maybe there was something that went wrong with the drugs.
Gina Hyena
I think there was a gun involved.
Ian Finance
Really?
Zach Amico
Why do you think that?
Gina Hyena
I read the. One of the things I read was that there was a gun in the room.
Zach Amico
Oh my goodness.
Gina Hyena
That was the sports guy from Kansas City.
Josh Adam Meyers
Really? He was like the main race.
Zach Amico
We recognize this guy.
Josh Adam Meyers
Ruben Galea.
Luis J. Gomez
Dude, imagine you get murdered by an ugly hooker.
Josh Adam Meyers
You want to get murdered by a hot hooker?
Luis J. Gomez
At least if I'm going to die my last, my last minutes on earth or with a hot hooker. That kind of rules. Yeah.
Ian Finance
Can the hookers kill you in Grand Theft Auto? Cuz that would make it more.
Luis J. Gomez
No, they can't fight back.
Ian Finance
That'd be cool.
Luis J. Gomez
We all learned we could just beat them in the. It ruled. That was the best. When you learned the first lesson you learned. Well, the first lesson you learned is if you drive on the grass with the hooker in the car, then the car starts shaking. That was like a little hidden thing.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
But then, yeah, you, they get out of the car, they take your money and then you beat them with a bat and you take your money back.
Zach Amico
Oh, I read a thing about how, how they, they did a test showing of the new Grand Theft Auto and it's so realistic that it's off putting when you hit and hurt civilians. The sounds they make and the, the actual like gesticulate.
Luis J. Gomez
You could play it now, right? So I, I read something that like you could play it for like a lot of money or whatever. You could test it. I have no idea.
Zach Amico
I don't know. But it's weird when it gets too lifelike.
Luis J. Gomez
So I stopped playing video games. But part of me, somebody was like, what about Grand Theft? I was like, I may make a return, but here's the thing. Grand Theft Auto, it's just fun for, for me anyway, for about a week because I try to do the, the challenges. And then you get to one that's really tough and you're like, I'm not going to do this anymore. Then you just turn into trying to get as many stars as possible and just murdering people and creating chaos.
Josh Adam Meyers
Well, now that's entertaining.
Luis J. Gomez
That gets boring after about a week.
Zach Amico
Now they're saying that people can film you on cell phones and then put it on social media. So that adds a level of like You.
Luis J. Gomez
What do you mean? Like, in the game?
Zach Amico
In the game? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, so it's like something's happening. Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
And people are, like, filming you, and then it goes viral, and, like, people rat you out, like, oh, I saw him here. While you're trying to escape and everything.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, well, it's like a whole world. Right. So Grand Theft Auto Online became a thing where, like, you were in a world with other people that were also playing in that world, Right?
Gina Hyena
Yes.
Zach Amico
I never did that.
Gina Hyena
It's weird. It was a lot of, like, gang. Like, there were people that were, like, an alien gang, really? And they all dressed as green aliens.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
And they would just. People up.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
Like, you would pull up to, like, go buy something, and just 80 aliens would beat you to death with bats. Oh, but this new. Because games are.
Luis J. Gomez
That's what Trump's trying to get rid of.
Gina Hyena
You know, the new wrestling games. Like, 200 bucks if you want all the shit.
Luis J. Gomez
Really?
Gina Hyena
And they said you might be the most expensive game that's coming if you want everything. With the. Online.
Zach Amico
Yeah, but with the. The Grand Theft Auto, like, people playing.
Gina Hyena
Together, and it's gonna be, I think, a monthly service charge to be on.
Zach Amico
I totally forgot what I was gonna say.
Luis J. Gomez
Shannon, how much is Grand Theft Auto gonna cost? Does the same.
Zach Amico
Hoping something popped up.
Shannon Lee
There's a lot of speculations, but I do see 150. Some say it might be a monthly fee, and others say you might have to pay by the hour.
Luis J. Gomez
No.
Josh Adam Meyers
Hour?
Luis J. Gomez
That's crazy.
Zach Amico
That's insane. No, you're talking about that guy with the hooker.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
You're reading the wrong story.
Zach Amico
Yeah. You're mixing up the articles.
Ian Finance
What a goober that guy looked like, too.
Zach Amico
I know.
Josh Adam Meyers
He's just trying to get some puss, man. He was doing coke.
Gina Hyena
49, dude. When I saw 27 and 49, dude.
Luis J. Gomez
I remember one time I was doing coke, and I ordered an Asian hooker, and it literally. I just. I mean, I couldn't come, so I was just, like, pumping away into her. I'm all fat and sweaty and on coke, and I couldn't even barely keep my dick hard.
Gina Hyena
Did you try to get her to pee?
Luis J. Gomez
Pee? Did she. She. She literally left. I got up to go to the bathroom, and she left in the middle of it. And I remember just, like, chasing around the whole. I'm like, hey, you got to come back. And I was like, what am I doing with my life? This is bonkers.
Zach Amico
That happened to me in Minneapolis. But I couldn't get hard cuz. I was on so much coke, so I just ate trail mix with the hooker in bed and I got a picture of her with my glasses on.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, you're just a romantic. That's the problem for me. I'm just going to violently her until I come. I know.
Zach Amico
I. I get them like treats at 7:11. Yeah. Gummy sharks. Sharks. Yellow Red Bull.
Josh Adam Meyers
Let's play Jenkins.
Zach Amico
I give. I. I use the condom and I give them the pack. I'm like, save it for yourself so you don't have to get them later.
Josh Adam Meyers
The first time I got a prostitute, I was in Los Angeles and I was. It's always like, you're doing coke and you just know that if you come, you'll go to sleep. So I. I got the hooker and I remember she was like, it's 150 for the half hour or 200 for the hour. And I was like, well, I'm gonna need the hour. And dude, I. Within five minutes came, came. And then she's like, you got 55 minutes left.
Luis J. Gomez
And you're like, she stayed. Usually when you nut it's over.
Josh Adam Meyers
I was like, she was.
Luis J. Gomez
You never. You never pay for the hour.
Zach Amico
Do you know how many calls I've gone to and I've nutted and I have time left over and I have to, like, play with their dog.
Luis J. Gomez
No, stop.
Zach Amico
While I, like, get ready to re up. And I'm like, yeah, you got the whole hour.
Luis J. Gomez
I. In my. I'm like, I'm. I'm shameful. I comment. I'm like, oh, why did I do this? I haven't. Weeds.
Zach Amico
No, I'm paying for the gfe. We're hanging out. We're twirling each other's hair.
Ian Finance
You're paying for the hang.
Gina Hyena
Of the girls. Yes, he is paying for the hang.
Zach Amico
I'm paying for the hump. Dude. I got a hooker in Glendale, and she was not what she I. It was perky C cups and. And blonde. And she opened the door and she was black with a scar on her forehead. And there were two people in the room, and I had to her while.
Luis J. Gomez
It was Glenn and Dale was in.
Zach Amico
The corner her like the end of Blair Witch.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
And I was like, can we kiss? And she was like, no. And then after like 20 minutes, she's like, you better hurry up. I was like, I'm trying. I'm trying.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
And there was just another person.
Zach Amico
There was someone asleep in the bed. And then someone that was up like playing switch or something. And I was like, can they Leave. And she was like, no, but he'll turn around. I was like, okay.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, God.
Zach Amico
Like, I don't know how I didn't get robbed or like, I. By the grace of God, I made it out of there.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. That's terrible. Yeah. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Actually, I think that was the last time. I don't remember.
Luis J. Gomez
I don't remember the first time I got a hooker.
Josh Adam Meyers
I wish I would have done it in Amsterdam. That was like.
Luis J. Gomez
I did it in Amsterdam.
Josh Adam Meyers
I wish I would have done it.
Luis J. Gomez
Excellent.
Zach Amico
When was the last time you got a hooker?
Luis J. Gomez
A while ago. A few years.
Zach Amico
Same.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, I'm off. I'm off. The hookers. I had what I would consider a debilitating sex addiction for a while.
Zach Amico
Really?
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. I was really. I was really into having a lot of sex with a lot of different people. Yeah. And hookers just became an easier way to do it instead of, like, having to juggle all these different women. Yeah. In and out. That's that.
Zach Amico
So I've been proud of myself because I've been going to get a massage, and then when they offer to jerk me off, I go, I'm fine. Thank you.
Luis J. Gomez
I was. I got a massage the other day on 13th street, and I thought it was a robin. I. I went in to get a regular massage, and then in the middle of it, I was like, oh, this is a. She was giving me the best massage I've ever had in my entire life. I might go back again this week. It was so good. And the reason they. She was so invasive with my ass. Not. She didn't go in, but she was like. I'm talking about like. Like, each cheek, like, grabbing it and mushing it. And I was like. I was like, is this a rub and tug, please? But it was too good of a massage. That's the sign of a. Not. Rub and tug is if the massage is great.
Gina Hyena
There's never. There's so much there to.
Luis J. Gomez
Dude, she was. I'm talking.
Zach Amico
Where is this?
Luis J. Gomez
It was, like, 13.
Gina Hyena
Between his back and his thighs.
Zach Amico
13 and 1.
Luis J. Gomez
Hold on. I'll give you Mosak snake.
Zach Amico
13 and 1.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
You got to tell us.
Luis J. Gomez
Let me see. I'll tell you right now.
Josh Adam Meyers
They never.
Luis J. Gomez
If.
Josh Adam Meyers
If it's. If it's a rub and tug, it's always a shitty massage. Always a. I've never had both.
Zach Amico
I.
Luis J. Gomez
The.
Zach Amico
The one place I go to is really good. And. And instead of the. The tug, I shower afterwards.
Josh Adam Meyers
They.
Zach Amico
But they don't shower me. I go, I'm fine.
Josh Adam Meyers
The. Right next to Where I live in the city, there's a. A. I guess it's a house. I mean, It's. It's legit. Like, 260 bucks.
Luis J. Gomez
L use Body Spa.
Zach Amico
Where is it?
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, it was this one right here. It's on 196 Second Ave. Right below 14th street and 13th Street. Oh, doggy. That was. It was so good.
Josh Adam Meyers
I need a massage, man.
Luis J. Gomez
I'm telling you right now. It was.
Gina Hyena
How much for me and my dog.
Luis J. Gomez
Watch if I pay an extra fee?
Josh Adam Meyers
What is it?
Luis J. Gomez
192 Lao used massage, 196 Second Avenue. It was. It was bonkers how good it was.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, man.
Luis J. Gomez
And this. She just. She was just like. Her hands were in my name. I don't know the girl.
Zach Amico
Lao Q. Lao Tzu.
Gina Hyena
Kung Lao.
Zach Amico
Kung Lao Now.
Gina Hyena
Hello.
Luis J. Gomez
No, it was. It was delightful. Dude, I love a massage. Yeah, I love. She was like. She was doing. Then she turned me over and she was massaging my inner thighs. I was like, what is happening right now? There's no way this is a rub and tug. But I will say I do try to get a boner. Anytime they turn me over, I. Even when it's not a rub and tug, I do try to get hard.
Josh Adam Meyers
Why make the towel pop up.
Luis J. Gomez
I'm like, look at that.
Zach Amico
Is that old dog in you?
Luis J. Gomez
Look at that bark working. Look at that.
Josh Adam Meyers
When it's the rub and tug and they like. And you know it's a rub and tug, but they don't. They give you the shitty massage, but then they just kind of, like, tease. Like, they might, like, graze your balls just a little.
Zach Amico
That's when you have to raise up like a cat. Stretching.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gina Hyena
Do a big stretch.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
You got to present yourself and go.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It's a little language to it.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
You know, there's. At the. At my show in the. At the. The. For the goddamn Comic Jam and Shimmy. We have a masseuse in the back, too. Incredible.
Zach Amico
Really?
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.
Zach Amico
The woman you hire at Skank Fest, I went to her in San Antonio.
Luis J. Gomez
Great.
Zach Amico
She was great. I forget her name, but she's fantastic.
Josh Adam Meyers
Skank Fest. You can get all three of them at the same time.
Zach Amico
Doing, like, that's too much over stimulation.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. It's also obnoxious Josh. Other people are waiting. Josh. Like, no, wait your turn. I got all three. All three naked dogs. Got to get her polar massage.
Josh Adam Meyers
Y'all seen Long leg?
Gina Hyena
I was so humiliated when I got massaged at Skank Fest last year.
Zach Amico
Why?
Gina Hyena
So I Took my glasses off and I put my face in the hole in the thing. And she goes, now put your hands up on the handrest. And I went like this. And she goes, those are my breasts. I mean, hi.
Luis J. Gomez
I just honked her tits.
Ian Finance
Best massage I ever had. The girl was blind. She just taught herself by sight. But it was awkward because she was like in the room and she was like, oh, if you want to get undressed, I'll leave the room. And I to be like, you don't have to like, you can't see me either.
Luis J. Gomez
Wow.
Ian Finance
Yeah, it was sick. I need to find her again.
Luis J. Gomez
So Bad Baby was caught having a physical altercation with her mother. No, she smacked the out of her mother cuz her mother said some racist. So we can't get. We can't get Bad Baby to skank fist.
Josh Adam Meyers
Well that would be so great. Get well, Vicky.
Shannon Lee
I have a video but this is after that. So what Bhad Bhabie says happened and what she says happened are different. But I'll show you the video first.
Ian Finance
God damn.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, look, it's all service animals. Josh.
Zach Amico
Oh my God.
Ian Finance
I can't tell who's who.
Zach Amico
So sad. Is she naked?
Josh Adam Meyers
It's not sad. They're worth. She's worth like $50 million. Sims pay. Yes.
Zach Amico
Dude.
Josh Adam Meyers
She made.
Zach Amico
I know, but it's.
Ian Finance
Yeah, but her mom.
Luis J. Gomez
You know what the budget for Nosferatu, it really was blow it up. Just so you know.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah. She. I think the day that she turned 18, she joined Only Fans and made like 5 million.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. And then she had. She had a really.
Ian Finance
Yeah, it's satisfied.
Zach Amico
Weird.
Luis J. Gomez
She had a boss ass for response too. They were like. She was like, what do you. They asked her like a year later like, what do you think about all the guys who signed up for your only fans that are you turned 18. She's like, they're sick pedophiles losers.
Josh Adam Meyers
And I was like, yeah, right.
Luis J. Gomez
I really respected her for that. But she didn't even like do anything naked. She was just doing like bikini photos and like that and like suggestive. I don't look.
Zach Amico
So a lot of the only fans people do, which is you pay and then they're like, here's a seven second video of me jumping.
Luis J. Gomez
It's infuriating.
Zach Amico
Oh, I want to see whole.
Luis J. Gomez
It's infuriating.
Ian Finance
Do you guys have only fans because the only fans comedy thing or anything like that?
Josh Adam Meyers
I do not.
Luis J. Gomez
But did you?
Ian Finance
Huh? No. Isn't it weird how no one asked about you guys? But first question was where is it the Only Fans?
Luis J. Gomez
I didn't. Yeah, no, I. We did it years. We were maybe the first ones to do, but Legion of Skanks did a bonus episode on Only Fans.
Ian Finance
Yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
Years ago, like, five or six years ago, they paid us, like, a sponsorship thing, and it never, like, turned into anything else, but we were way ahead of our time. We did the Whitney Cummins Roast on Only Fans. I'd. Maybe I'll try to sell my special to Only Fans, but they're not paying enough money.
Ian Finance
Really?
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, I don't think so. I think they're paying. They're paying a little bit.
Zach Amico
They give you, like, a chunk up front. You're like, o. And then it's like all the deliverables you have to do is like, this isn't.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, no, no. How much is. How much do they give you up front?
Zach Amico
Well, we. I. I'll tell you off here. We got a bigger deal. But then I said no, because it was just like, two.
Luis J. Gomez
Not worth it.
Ian Finance
They're asking for too much.
Luis J. Gomez
Unless it's like a quarter million dollars. It's more worth it to put your special on YouTube.
Zach Amico
Totally.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And you want everyone to see you're trying to help out comics, which is great, but it's, like, also too. It's like, you know, we're trying to get people to sign up for a mailing list and buy this ticket and join this, and then we're like, okay.
Luis J. Gomez
Each person special and. And Right. Goes and sees you. They're worth a lot more money ultimately. So unless they're paying you a wild amount of money, like, the Netflix deals are good. There's certain deals that are really good, but it has to be, like, hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to be worth it.
Gina Hyena
So, Shannon, what did Bhad Bhab's mom say about her boyfriend?
Shannon Lee
Okay.
Gina Hyena
Made her smack her like that.
Shannon Lee
So what was speculated was that it said Bhad Bhabie said her mom called her late black friend a monkey.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, Jesus.
Shannon Lee
But how late?
Luis J. Gomez
He is late. This monkey's late.
Gina Hyena
It's not monkey time.
Luis J. Gomez
He's on monkey. Shannon, can we get a monkey sound effect on the soundboard.
Shannon Lee
Okay, but so the mother said that what happened was. So her boyfriend Levon, that. That it's his friend that died and that he wanted Bhad Bhabie to go to the funeral, but the mother didn't want her to go because she didn't like the person who died and that this is what sparked the whole thing. But she. She posted. Posted this clip, and then she took it down immediately after.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Shannon Lee
But they caught it, so. And apparently they've made up after and they're fine.
Luis J. Gomez
They smacked the out of her mom.
Shannon Lee
Of course, and her mom got her in a headlock.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I mean, that's how she became famous from. You mean.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, her mom smacking the out of her, bringing her on Dr. Phil.
Ian Finance
Yeah. Her mom shopped her around, though, like daytime shows. Like, mom was trying to get her to be a piece.
Luis J. Gomez
A lot of, A lot of people do. They. Whatever it is, there's a weird sub subsect of people that are like trying to get on reality tv.
Gina Hyena
You see that, the Kardashian mom thing. They're Mama Jers.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah. There's a huge thing in. I think there was an article in the New Yorker, the Atlantic about mom influencers that pimp their kids out on Instagram, like trying on bikinis, blah, blah. And they know that the amount of followers are like pedophiles.
Luis J. Gomez
Of course.
Zach Amico
They're like.
Luis J. Gomez
Well, they turn off the comments if we, if I try to comment, they won't let me comment.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Why do you have a link tree without an actual L?
Luis J. Gomez
Stupid. No, we watched years ago. We watched. We. We were.
Gina Hyena
It would be like bath time videos.
Luis J. Gomez
But it was like actual like three or four year old little girls in the bathtub and the mom bathing them. And then they turn off the comments. You're like, are you out of your mind?
Gina Hyena
Like five million views.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah. Crazy.
Josh Adam Meyers
Terrible.
Gina Hyena
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And the shares are like, way more than the.
Luis J. Gomez
Like they monetize.
Zach Amico
Weird, man.
Luis J. Gomez
Crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. And but here's what's funny is like my. My niece watches a lot of like, like the children bathing, but she watches a lot of the videos that I think pedophiles would also be interested in.
Zach Amico
What?
Gina Hyena
Because like I shared. Yeah. Shared interests.
Luis J. Gomez
Well, no, my Sneeze. Watch like YouTube videos and it'll be like, you know, like a, a tween girl doing like a makeup session and she's like in her nightgown or whatever, and I'm like. And I'm like, okay, this is definitely his pedophile bait.
Zach Amico
Right?
Luis J. Gomez
And. But like that. But little. But little girls also watch it as well. So it's a weird sort of thing. They. My. My sister was watching dance mobs with my, my niece and I was like, oh, if I was a pedophile, I'd be beating my dick off to these little girls dancing.
Zach Amico
Well, that was JonBenet Ramsey, the, the guy that killed her, Mark Kerr. That they ended up, you know, the DNA was up or whatever. He was a pedophile that like loved her dance mom things. And then when she died, Mark her.
Luis J. Gomez
Wasn't that a UFC fighter?
Gina Hyena
John. Mark Carr, I think.
Zach Amico
Oh, Mark Carr, whatever.
Gina Hyena
And he was.
Luis J. Gomez
The Smashing Machine was a pedophile.
Zach Amico
All right. But they. Dude, when. When everybody thought that the mom killed her, they were like. She dresses her up like a little. Look at her gyrating her little vagina and it's like, oh, lady, what are you talking? Like on the news?
Luis J. Gomez
Janice, can you turn the sexy music on, please?
Josh Adam Meyers
He was crazy.
Luis J. Gomez
Don't. Really. Yeah, it's. It's all kind of weird.
Gina Hyena
Can I say one thing about the bad baby video? This, this, this specific one with her beating her mom, the amount of small dogs and baby gates is a clear sign of a mentally ill household.
Ian Finance
Oh, for sure.
Luis J. Gomez
Well, those small dogs, they and piss.
Josh Adam Meyers
Everywhere and they're not.
Luis J. Gomez
I guarantee you they're piss all.
Gina Hyena
No matter how nice there is.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
There is an equation that is the amount of baby gates and small dogs to mentally ill people that live in the house.
Zach Amico
Especially if the dog is named Bella.
Luis J. Gomez
I used to see this girl who. Sweet girl, actually. I saw her on Eros once. She ended up becoming a hooker. But I used to. I used to dater's weird. You know, I used to her or whatever. Yeah, this used. This was a. A one wacky cookie gal. She's always posting now about how her life is better. She's like. She's like, life is great. Blah, blah.
Zach Amico
It's like life now that I'm away from Lewis. Life is amazing.
Luis J. Gomez
This.
Gina Hyena
She hooks her way out of.
Josh Adam Meyers
It was better.
Luis J. Gomez
She was Puerto Rican. Nosferatu, sell me blow and what. Dude, she was crazy. This was. She's in Washington Heights, dude. And I would show up and I would her. And she had two little dogs like that. Two little like Pekingese or whatever oaks. And she's had little wee wee pads all over the house. They would and piss all over these wee wee pads. This was a loon. And I. I told the story about her. She. I showed up one day like in the middle of the night and we were doing blow together. She pulled out a knife and she was like cutting herself in front of me. Yeah. And I had to like wrestle the knife out of her hands and I'm like, wait a minute. Why am I putting my prince on this knife? Like, this is Jesus. Yeah, she was a wacky and yeah, that was. Was it. That was it.
Ian Finance
She's Doing Arari because you guys just finished.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, she was. She was a wild one.
Josh Adam Meyers
Every stripper has a little Pomeranian that's untrained. And it's just the baby gates.
Gina Hyena
If you put the baby gates in your house with the dog, it means I have no control over this animal.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
So I physically have to block it.
Josh Adam Meyers
If the dog's crazy. Well, if the dog's untrained, then the person's crazy. It's like if I went to a.
Zach Amico
Girl'S place once and we went back, back and there was dog on the floor. She was like, oh, he's. And I go, yeah. And she goes, whatever, I'll get it later. And then like was like, let's go to bed. And I was like, oh, I'm still going to you, but I'm not going to like it.
Luis J. Gomez
Isn't it crazy? Like, I'll never love you, but I'm going to have sex with you.
Zach Amico
It was so off put. She just let stay on the floor.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Gina Hyena
And in her bed.
Zach Amico
He's on fire, guys.
Luis J. Gomez
All right, let's do one final toy night before we get out of here. The tallest.
Gina Hyena
Oh, I sent this one too.
Luis J. Gomez
Let's see.
Zach Amico
Look at this.
Luis J. Gomez
Shannon.
Shannon Lee
Sorry. Or he's looking for the intro, but I'll put it after. Okay, so I'm going to show you her Instagram here.
Luis J. Gomez
I mean, how do you not have the intro ready to go when we have Twitter night on the sheet? We.
Zach Amico
We changed computers and so some of the stuff. Stuff is. Some of the files are still.
Luis J. Gomez
Is the computer better? Does the show look better today? I mean, it looks better to me. I don't know how the.
Zach Amico
The fans.
Luis J. Gomez
Fans in the chat. Does it look better? Let's see. No, you. You. I hope your son dies. You. You're gay. The show sucks.
Zach Amico
No, I have the intro ready.
Luis J. Gomez
Okay. Toad or your night. Love it. Let's go. Listen, Zach, Twitter night, everyone's saying, no, you looks like, nope, Josh is gay. No, it's the same green screen. Looks like. No legs. Long legs. Long legs. Zach looks worse. Then Plank said yes. Clear. Thank you, Plank. Thank you. Shout out to Plank. Guys.
Zach Amico
Plank.
Luis J. Gomez
Plank. You know what? You just won two free Skank Fest tickets for your.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
Compliments. Get Golden Tickets.
Luis J. Gomez
Email LewisofSkanks. Com. Make sure you confirm their. Their email address. Shannon, make sure it's actually Plank.
Zach Amico
That's awesome.
Luis J. Gomez
I will. I like some positivity out of the day. Everyone else could suck a day.
Shannon Lee
L.Skanks.com. i don't have access to.
Luis J. Gomez
That's. That's not what I meant. Lewis and Zach. Gmail dot com. That's what I meant.
Shannon Lee
Okay, so speaking man Bear pick says.
Luis J. Gomez
Kill Plank and Josh Adam Myers.
Zach Amico
You should give him some tickets. Give him tickets? Yeah, get him.
Luis J. Gomez
Give him some tickets.
Zach Amico
Get that guy some tickets.
Luis J. Gomez
Oh, go ahead.
Shannon Lee
Here's the. Here's a video.
Josh Adam Meyers
Whoa, whoa.
Zach Amico
Who's this?
Luis J. Gomez
Who's this big.
Gina Hyena
This is my new Instagram follow the tallest Latina.
Luis J. Gomez
The tallest Latina Angel Fez page on hell. Let's see her actual page.
Josh Adam Meyers
3.2 million.
Zach Amico
She's got six posts.
Luis J. Gomez
Kind of looks like that girl that I dated during the pandemic.
Ian Finance
Sure.
Gina Hyena
I. I actually huge.
Luis J. Gomez
Kind of does, right?
Gina Hyena
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Luis J. Gomez
It's a big.
Josh Adam Meyers
Wow. It's a big 3.2 million.
Zach Amico
I like 6.
Luis J. Gomez
610 on my shortest heel me or the PS5. Oh, let's see. Let's see. This isn't the greatest image of her. There's another harder one.
Josh Adam Meyers
Check her only fans.
Luis J. Gomez
She had an only fans.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yeah, we'll do. Do the handle and go to Arrow Thought or Arrow Me.
Luis J. Gomez
She's thick.
Josh Adam Meyers
Yep. There's a big tree.
Shannon Lee
This. I don't think this is a. Oh, it's in there.
Josh Adam Meyers
She's got 1 100. Hit that and then copy the handle.
Luis J. Gomez
Let's not. Let's not steal her only fans content.
Gina Hyena
Yeah, dude. She'll grind our bones.
Josh Adam Meyers
Let's just see it.
Luis J. Gomez
Give me my money.
Gina Hyena
She a master of the paella.
Luis J. Gomez
Go back to her. Go back to her Instagram. Shannon. Let's see. She. I mean, she's tall. How tall is she?
Gina Hyena
Actually, I think she's six. Eight.
Luis J. Gomez
Six eight? Holy shit. That's wild.
Zach Amico
Go to the. Oh, well, that's my favorite pose.
Gina Hyena
That's not bad, bub.
Luis J. Gomez
I like it. I don't mind it. I mean it would be fun for like a session that's like if me.
Zach Amico
And her hunger out.
Gina Hyena
Yeah, well, so that was my question. Would you be comfortable going out in public with a girl that bigger.
Zach Amico
I'll hold her hand like this. Be like upbees. Upbeat.
Josh Adam Meyers
There was a. There was a girl when I worked at this restaurant and she was like about that tall and she. Tall, skinny white chick. And she loved me. And I was just like. I mean literally throwing it at me. And I was like, I just can't.
Zach Amico
Why?
Josh Adam Meyers
Cuz she was too tall.
Zach Amico
I don't care.
Josh Adam Meyers
It was also. She wasn't very attractive as well.
Luis J. Gomez
Long legs.
Josh Adam Meyers
Very long legs. She had very long Legs.
Luis J. Gomez
She had a very long leg, if you know what I'm saying.
Josh Adam Meyers
Huge long legs.
Ian Finance
This whole time he's been talking about that waitress.
Josh Adam Meyers
But then one of the.
Gina Hyena
One of them.
Zach Amico
I'd hold on to her.
Josh Adam Meyers
One of the cooks, though, this shorter black guy, he was like, dude, you got to hit that. I was like, no, I don't want to do it. We used to rent these hotels and party and do drugs there, like, after work on Fridays and Saturdays. And I went to the bathroom to go do drugs. And then I walk in and he's in there. Her. And his, like, her, like, legs are, like, over his shoulder, like, hitting him, like, in the ass. So it's just. I. It can be done. I. I just. And I. Taller chicks, obviously, but it's just not like that's. There's. There's a level that I'm just.
Ian Finance
This is surprising to me. I thought it was just going to be a round of. Yup. That's wild.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, I'm not saying I wouldn't. Oh, I mean, you know.
Ian Finance
Pardon me.
Luis J. Gomez
That's hilarious. Do you. Did you see so. So Kanye did a Super bowl commercial or. It was his website. Do you see the T shirt that's for sale?
Josh Adam Meyers
The Sean or no.
Luis J. Gomez
Go. Go to yeezy.com real quick, Shannon, before we get out of here. Go to yeezy.com. that's hilarious. He rules.
Zach Amico
Oh, my God.
Luis J. Gomez
That's the only shirt for sale on the website.
Ian Finance
Oh, my God.
Gina Hyena
How much is it?
Josh Adam Meyers
It's 20 bucks. It's 20 bucks? Yeah.
Gina Hyena
I thought it was going to be.
Josh Adam Meyers
Like, he sells everything for 20 bucks.
Ian Finance
Really?
Zach Amico
That is.
Luis J. Gomez
Is crazy awesome.
Zach Amico
I thought it was crazy awesome.
Josh Adam Meyers
That's insane.
Zach Amico
That's gross.
Gina Hyena
What are the. What does the size go up to?
Josh Adam Meyers
You going to get one?
Gina Hyena
I'm just saying. I. Out of curiosity, do they stop at, like, 2x?
Josh Adam Meyers
Like, he's literally just.
Ian Finance
Is he pulling that whole.
Luis J. Gomez
Like.
Ian Finance
It's an old Egyptian.
Luis J. Gomez
He's not taking his career. So he did this like a year and a half ago. And then he sort of had a weird little comeback where people were, like, talking about. He's just keeping himself in everybody's vernacular and it's a little avant garde and weird. He's a lunatic guard. Yeah, it's. I. I mean, what. It's kind of just trolling, like, in such the. Like an extreme way. Yes. I think he's a little bit crazy, but I think that he. And I said this a while ago. I was like, he can come back and have a full fledged brand deal with somebody. I think he's just like produced a.
Zach Amico
Piece of music worthwhile in years.
Josh Adam Meyers
It's. He's fallen off. He's not, he's not the easy of yesteryear. Like, it's, it's over.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Josh Adam Meyers
You can't do that and come and come back. They're not going to take it seriously.
Zach Amico
You can't do that in J. Like, that's disgusting.
Josh Adam Meyers
All.
Luis J. Gomez
All it takes is him to go into therapy and him to be like, yeah, I was up. I'm telling you right now. Especially white people. They're so forgiving of black people. White people are. They don't give a dude. I'm telling you right now. They not Jews. Jews.
Josh Adam Meyers
We're not forgiving. Giving.
Luis J. Gomez
Yeah, well, we'll see. I think, I think, I think he will keep on riding this wave of fame and just keeping himself relevant.
Zach Amico
I think we need him and Rich Voss in the same room.
Josh Adam Meyers
Oh, God.
Luis J. Gomez
The only person more annoying than Kanye.
Zach Amico
A real meeting of the mind.
Luis J. Gomez
All right, I gotta run. You guys are the. Thank you for watching today's Lewis and Zach support Gina Hyena, Josh Myers and Ian Finance and everything that they do. We'll be back on Wednesday with another incredible episode. We have Jim Norton and Ryan Shaner coming in on Wednesday. Should be a blast.
Zach Amico
Oh, that's going to be great.
Luis J. Gomez
Until then, good night.
The Luis and Zac Show – Episode 0036: Ian Finance, Josh Adam Meyers, and Gina Hyena Released on February 13, 2025
Introduction
In Episode 0036 of The Luis and Zac Show, hosted by GaS Digital Network, hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico dive deep into a whirlwind of unfiltered comedy, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions with their special guests: Ian Finance, Josh Adam Meyers, and Gina Hyena. Known for their fearless and unapologetic approach to comedy, Luis and Zac ensure that no topic is too raw or off-limits, delivering razor-sharp banter and high-energy interactions throughout the episode.
1. Airport Delays and Service Animals ([00:22] - [02:18])
The episode kicks off with Luis sharing his frustrating experience at the airport with Air Canada. Despite booking his flight through United Airlines, Luis was transferred to Air Canada and placed in boarding group two, stripping him of his Premier 1K status.
Luis J. Gomez ([01:44]): "Air Canada. United fucking pushed me over to Air Canada. And then they don't even give you your fucking premier 1k status. They put me in group two."
His frustration mounts as he recounts waiting five hours at the airport without any security searches, highlighting the inefficiencies of airline transfers.
2. Welcome Guests: Ian Finance, Josh Adam Meyers, and Gina Hyena ([02:44] - [08:25])
Guests Ian Finance, Josh Adam Meyers, and Gina Hyena are introduced, bringing their unique comedic styles to the table. Luis humorously teases Josh about his "fake" service animal, sparking a lively debate.
Luis J. Gomez ([04:35]): "And that's what the… you're saying that this is 100 an actually trained service dog to the letter of the law."
3. Service Animal Controversy and GoFundMe for Shannon ([04:35] - [17:11])
Josh Adam Meyers claims his dog is a service animal trained to prevent him from using fentanyl, which Luis and the others mockingly challenge. The conversation shifts to a GoFundMe campaign initiated for Shannon to replace her breasts, with the hosts making crude jokes about contributions and the fundraising process.
Luis J. Gomez ([12:01]): "But did you get your tits on in New York? Can you recommend a doctor?"
The segment showcases the hosts' penchant for edgy humor, blending personal stories with irreverent commentary.
4. Movie Talk: Nosferatu and Long Legs ([19:06] - [38:31])
The conversation delves into horror movies, particularly Nosferatu and the controversial Long Legs. Zach Amico, a horror movie buff, shares his thoughts on these films, leading to a critique of the 2023 remake of Nosferatu.
Zach Amico ([20:06]): "That's my movie."
The hosts express disappointment with the modern interpretations, reminiscing about the original's impact and authenticity.
5. Navigating Social Media and Trolls ([24:34] - [29:05])
Luis discusses his decision to quit arguing with trolls on Twitter, reflecting on the negative interactions that disrupt his peace of mind. The group debates the futility of engaging with online negativity, emphasizing the importance of mental well-being over internet battles.
Luis J. Gomez ([25:01]): "I was trolling the trolls and they were trolling me back. Nobody was a winner here."
6. Promotions: Comedy Tours and Podcasts ([38:31] - [48:08])
Guests promote their upcoming stand-up tours and podcasts. Ian Finance details his extensive schedule, performing across various cities, while Josh Adam Meyers highlights his appearances and podcast endeavors.
Zach Amico ([38:56]): "ianfinance.com for tickets this weekend. Valentine's Day weekend, I'm at Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine."
These promotions are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, showcasing the guests' active roles in the comedy scene.
7. Sponsor Segments: SmallBatchCigar and YourKratom ([44:43] - [52:09])
The show features advertisements for sponsors SmallBatchCigar.com and YourKratom.com. Luis and Gina enthusiastically endorse these brands, highlighting their quality products and special offers for listeners.
Luis J. Gomez ([15:02]): "Use the promo code GAS10. You're gonna get 10% off plus those 5% rewards points."
These segments are delivered with the hosts' characteristic humor, making the promotions engaging and memorable.
8. Recent News: Sports Reporter Death ([50:44] - [58:12])
The hosts discuss the tragic death of sports reporter Aden Adam Manzano, who was found dead in his hotel room while covering the Super Bowl. They speculate on the circumstances, involving a prostitute and possible foul play, blending macabre humor with the serious nature of the news.
Gina Hyena ([52:45]): "He was doing coke and he's got a…"
This segment illustrates the show's ability to tackle sensitive topics with their unique comedic twist.
9. Online Influencers and OnlyFans Critique ([58:16] - [66:58])
A heated discussion unfolds about the ethics of online influencers, particularly those exploiting platforms like OnlyFans. The hosts criticize "mom influencers" who over-expose their children and question the integrity of content creators on such platforms.
Luis J. Gomez ([69:05]): "It's infuriating."
The conversation highlights concerns about the blurred lines between personal life and online personas, emphasizing the negative impact of seeking fame through controversial means.
10. Hooker Stories and Personal Anecdotes ([66:58] - [73:53])
Luis, Zach, and Josh share personal stories about encounters with prostitutes, mixing crude humor with candid admissions about their experiences. These anecdotes are delivered in the show's signature no-holds-barred style, providing raw and unfiltered insights into their personal lives.
Josh Adam Meyers ([77:30]): "I was really into having a lot of sex with a lot of different people."
These stories reinforce the show's commitment to tackling taboo subjects with humor and honesty.
11. Bhad Bhabie and Family Dynamics ([67:30] - [73:08])
The discussion shifts to the controversial rapper Bhad Bhabie, focusing on an incident involving her mother and the late boyfriend Levon. The hosts dissect the conflicting accounts and the aftermath, touching on themes of fame, family conflict, and media portrayal.
Luis J. Gomez ([71:20]): "They smacked the out of her mom."
This segment reflects the show's engagement with current pop culture events, providing their unsanctioned take on high-profile incidents.
12. Kanye's Yeezy Merch ([73:39] - [79:16])
The hosts briefly mention Kanye West's Yeezy website, humorously commenting on the minimalist merchandise offering, particularly a single T-shirt available for purchase.
Luis J. Gomez ([78:37]): "Go to yeezy.com real quick, Shannon, before we get out of here. Go to yeezy.com."
This light-hearted segment showcases their ability to intertwine pop culture references with comedic commentary.
13. Closing and Final Shoutouts ([79:16] - [80:59])
As the episode draws to a close, the hosts offer final promotions for upcoming shows like Story Wars Live at The Comedy Store and express gratitude towards their sponsors and audience. They hint at future appearances and exciting collaborations, maintaining the show's high-energy and inclusive vibe.
Luis J. Gomez ([80:25]): "Thank you for watching today's Lewis and Zach. Support Gina Hyena, Josh Myers, and Ian Finance and everything that they do."
Notable Quotes
Luis J. Gomez ([01:44]): "Air Canada. United fucking pushed me over to Air Canada. And then they don't even give you your fucking premier 1k status."
Josh Adam Meyers ([04:35]): "She stops me from doing fentanyl."
Zach Amico ([38:56]): "ianfinance.com for tickets this weekend. Valentine's Day weekend, I'm at Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine."
Luis J. Gomez ([15:02]): "Use the promo code GAS10. You're gonna get 10% off plus those 5% rewards points."
Gina Hyena ([52:45]): "He was doing coke and he's got a…"
Luis J. Gomez ([69:05]): "It's infuriating."
Josh Adam Meyers ([77:30]): "I was really into having a lot of sex with a lot of different people."
Conclusion
Episode 0036 of The Luis and Zac Show delivers a quintessential blend of edgy humor, candid conversations, and unfiltered banter. With guests Ian Finance, Josh Adam Meyers, and Gina Hyena, the episode traverses a landscape of personal stories, pop culture critiques, and sharp comedic insights. Luis and Zac uphold their reputation as fearless voices in comedy, ensuring that listeners receive a raw and energetic experience that transcends typical podcast boundaries. Whether tackling serious topics or sharing outrageous anecdotes, The Luis and Zac Show continues to spearhead a comedy revolution that resonates with its unapologetic audience.