0038. Ian Fidance and Andrew Packer

Summary

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 38 Summary

Guests: Ian Fidance, Andrew Packer
Date: August 24, 2025
Platform: GaS Digital Network

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Overview

This episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo brings together comedians Ian Fidance and Andrew Packer for a wild, off-kilter ride through weird news, personal stories, animal mishaps, and unfiltered banter. As always, Zac presides over the chaos, guiding the guests through topics ranging from bizarre animal facts to conjoined twins sexuality, with plenty of sidetracks into standup comedy road life, pet ownership, and the absurdity of modern living. The tone is raunchy, irreverent, and peppered with dark humor and comedic camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Plugs and Upcoming Shows

Timestamps: 02:31–03:49

• Andrew promotes his “Laugh It Off Live” show, which features both comics and his therapist father, encouraging audience participation ([02:39]).
• Ian details tour dates and teases his YouTube travel show “Ian: Odd Guy Doing Odd Jobs” ([03:02]).
• Zac pitches the GaS Digital subscription and his upcoming comedy tour ([03:49]).

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2. Ian's Odd Jobs Tour Stories

Timestamps: 04:44–08:11

• Ian recounts getting “tackled by German shepherds” at a K9 facility. He describes the terror, unexpected pain through a thin dog suit, and the bizarre detail that the dog’s penis was hard out of excitement ([05:18], [05:56]).
  • “They just want the dog to put you in enough pain to make you submit.” — Ian Fidance ([05:26])
• Further adventures: quick tattoo certification in Wisconsin, hands-on time at BattleBots arena in Vegas, and upcoming visits to reptile sanctuaries ([06:56], [08:09]).
• Zac likens Ian’s show to “Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy,” sparking tangent into “dad TV” and Americana ([08:11]).

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3. Marksmen, American History & Military Anecdotes

Timestamps: 09:10–12:28

• Zac relays Larry the Cable Guy’s TV segment on marksmen and hunting, leading to a conversation about American and British military strategy, and the role of small-game hunters in the Revolutionary War ([09:10–10:22]).
• The group compares America’s overconfidence in past wars (Vietnam, Afghanistan) to the British—a lesson in military hubris ([10:41–11:30]).
• Comic family stories: Zac’s accidental classroom slur (“rat country”) and Ian’s uncle’s ignorant views on gay soldiers ([11:09–12:28]).
  • “I remember being a kid and my dad explaining Vietnam to me... here we hear about this little rat country, Vietnam... and they destroyed us.” — Zac Amico ([11:11])

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4. Mutant Rabbits, Horns, and HPV

Timestamps: 13:31–17:38

• Zac introduces the wild news: “Rabbits are growing horns in Colorado.” Turns out it’s the Shope papillomavirus (rabbit HPV), transmitted via bugs ([13:37–14:06], [14:36–14:55]).
• Shannon explains it's not a fungus, and the virus generally only affects rabbits ([14:06]).
• Highlight: Zac’s twisted hypothetical—“Is there a chance that HPV will mutate and all the girls that I’ve had sex with will start growing horns?” ([14:36])
• Rabbit care goes awry: Ian tells the story of a PA who abandoned photo-shoot rabbits in Park Slope, causing a local backlash ([15:52–17:38]).

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5. The Rabbit Debate and Bad Pet Stories

Timestamps: 18:08–24:00

• The trio discusses what predators might eat domestic rabbits in NYC parks, prompting a bet and musings on pets vs. prey ([18:08–19:44]).
• Andrew is ambivalent about rabbits; Zac and Ian reminisce about living with difficult pet rabbits and the drama it caused — Zac’s roommate’s rabbit, Reggie, was a “spoiled boy” who once sabotaged a hangout with women ([20:14–22:53]).

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6. Unusual Pets and Sugar Glider PSA

Timestamps: 28:02–31:12

• Zac declares: “You’re white trash if you have a ferret. It doesn’t belong in the house” ([28:02]).
• Conversation veers to sugar gliders; Zac and Shannon warn about their complex care, bonding needs, tendency to jump into boiling liquids, and disastrous outcomes as pets ([28:09–31:11]).

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7. Cat vs. Dog People, Personality Mirroring & Racist Cats

Timestamps: 31:12–34:34

• Dog vs. cat ownership: Andrew and Ian banter about whose pet would win in a fight; Ian’s cats “are so gay, me” ([31:12–33:01]), Zac’s first cat was racist, especially towards Black visitors ([33:07], [33:20]).
  • “I don’t know, he didn’t like Black people.” — Zac Amico ([33:20])
• Discussion of pet personality mirroring their owners’ quirks and anxieties.

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8. Pet Death, Care When Traveling, and Cat Entertainment

Timestamps: 35:53–39:41

• Andrew recounts the touching tale of his childhood dog dying after he left for college ([35:56–36:13]).
• The hosts share pet-care hacks—automatic feeders, cat music, video distractions, and humorous mishaps (e.g., Ian’s cat accidentally calling 911) ([36:32–39:20]).

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9. Animal Accidents: Deadly Elks, Turkey Pranks, and Viral Videos

Timestamps: 39:46–47:37

• The crew guesses the cause of death for Miss Russia-turned-Miss Universe, ultimately revealed as an elk smashing through her Porsche ([39:46–41:17]).
• Discussion turns to dark “prank deaths,” including someone dying from a frozen turkey thrown through a windshield. They watch and roast a viral video of a turkey getting freed from a truck only to be immediately hit by a car ([42:29–47:37]).
  • “As the turkey gets hit, there’s just one feather, like the bag in American Beauty... It’s the one feather dancing in the wind like Pocahontas.” — Zac Amico ([47:27])

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10. Conjoined Twins: Sex, Marriage, and Life Questions

Timestamps: 50:37–62:08

• Article sparks a deep-dive on Abby and Brittany Hensel, the famous conjoined twins who now have a baby ([50:50–51:41]).
• Panel fires off a barrage of questions—sex life logistics, consent, makeup routine, job fairness, biological oddities, and more ([54:00–62:08]).
  • “Which one is he married to exactly?” — Andrew Packer ([51:24])
  • “If one of them’s blowing you, the other one’s just like hitting the cushion?” — Andrew Packer ([54:06])
  • “Say Britney doesn’t feel like having sex, but Abby does... is that rape?” — Ian Fidance ([54:53])
  • “They probably rock-paper-scissors every time [who wipes].” — Ian Fidance ([59:56])
  • “If one of them gets killed by a serial killer but he lets the other live...” — Ian Fidance ([60:31])
• Shannon delivers medical specifics: shared reproductive organs, digestive tracts, but two hearts/stomachs/lungs, and both are school teachers ([57:02–58:02]).

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11. AI Catfishing & Final Stories

Timestamps: 63:29–65:54

• Zac brings up a recent news story: a New Jersey man dies on the way to meet an AI chatbot he believed was flirting with him. The elderly man, with diminished capacity, was lured to a fake address and died after falling in a parking lot ([63:29–65:16]).
  • “I want to sit on the working side of your face.” — Zac, riffing about the chatbot ([64:45])
• The group closes with a callback joke about Zac’s earlier Vietnam slur story ([65:54]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Time | Quote & Attribution | |---------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:26 | “They just want the dog to put you in enough pain to make you submit.” — Ian Fidance | | 09:44 | “The British fucking... These assholes come wearing red.” — Zac Amico | | 11:11 | “...here we hear about this little rat country, Vietnam, and they destroyed us.” — Zac Amico | | 12:16 | “...cuz when you’re in a foxhole, you don’t want to look over and your buddy’s over there putting on lipstick.” — Ian’s uncle via Ian Fidance | | 14:36 | “Is there a chance that HPV will mutate and all the girls that I’ve had sex with will start growing horns?” — Zac Amico | | 22:09 | “That’s iceberg lettuce. That doesn’t have the nutrients he needs.” — Zac quoting his roommate’s girlfriend | | 28:02 | “You’re white trash if you have [a ferret]. It doesn’t belong in the house.” — Zac Amico | | 33:20 | “I don’t know, he didn’t like black people.” — Zac Amico (about his cat Fred) | | 47:27 | “As the turkey gets hit, there’s just one feather, like the bag in American Beauty... It’s the one feather dancing in the wind like Pocahontas.” — Zac Amico | | 54:53 | “Say Britney doesn’t feel like having sex, but Abby does... is that rape?” — Ian Fidance | | 61:02 | “So. Do they only have two boobs?” — Ian Fidance | | 62:41 | “What if as an experiment, you and I tied our arms together for a day and our hips together and see if we could exist?” — Ian Fidance | | 64:45 | “I want to sit on the working side of your face.” — Zac Amico (AI chatbot bit) |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Plugs & Show Previews – 02:31–03:49
• Ian’s K-9 Takedown & Odd Jobs – 04:44–08:11
• Larry the Cable Guy & Marksman History – 08:11–10:41
• Military Strategy & Family Stories – 10:41–12:28
• Rabbit Horns & Mutations – 13:31–14:55
• Pet Rabbit Mishaps in NYC – 15:52–17:38
• Predator Debate: Central Park – 18:08–19:44
• Bad Rabbit Roommate Stories – 20:14–22:53
• Sugar Glider Pet PSA – 28:02–31:12
• Pet Personality & Racist Cat – 33:07–33:34
• Pet Death & Care When Away – 35:53–39:20
• Miss Universe Elk Death – 39:46–41:17
• Turkey Prank Video – 42:29–47:37
• Conjoined Twins Segment – 50:50–62:08
• AI Chatbot Death – 63:29–65:16

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Closing Notes

Packed with edgy humor and wild rabbit trails, this episode is a blend of comedian life, animal oddities, and absurd social commentary. Zac keeps it quick-witted, while Ian and Andrew dish out gut-busting anecdotes and riffs—making this a chaotic but memorable installment of Morning Zoo.

Transcript

[Narrator]

Searching for a romantic summer getaway escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new Audible original from Lily Chiu, the exquisitely talented Philippa Hsu. Returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chu title. This time Philippa is joined by her real life husband, Steven Pasquale. Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, AKA the Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsomer Fill her up.

[Ian Finance]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play. Jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join.

[Andrew Packer]

Cool.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

It's Zach Amico Morning suit.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, hey, hey. It's a Wednesday. It's your old pal cousin Zach, your other boy, the international superstar. Welcome you to another edition of Zach Amico's Morning Zoo here on the Gas Digital Network. Thank you so much for tuning in and thank you so much to my guest. Sitting across the table from me from the Laugh it off podcast is our friend Andrew Packer. Hello.

[Andrew Packer]

Thank you for having me.

[Zach Amico]

My pleasure, brother. How are you today?

[Andrew Packer]

I'm doing great.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you very much. Thank you for hanging out. And next to him, my former partner in crime, but still one of my favorite people in the world, it's Ian Finance.

[Ian Finance]

Hi, everybody. Hi, Zach.

[Zach Amico]

How you doing, man?

[Ian Finance]

I'm doing fantastic. How about you?

[Zach Amico]

I'm doing great. Thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it.

[Ian Finance]

I'm happy to be here.

[Zach Amico]

And you look fantastic.

[Ian Finance]

As do you.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you. Let's have some fun today, but let's start with some plugs. Jorge, hit that plug music for me. Mr. Packer, what do you want people to check out?

[Andrew Packer]

Just check it out. Check out. Laugh Off. Laugh It Off Live. It's my therapy comedy show where the audience submits topics they want to let go of. And then we have a lineup of comedians and an actual therapist that weigh in. And that therapist is my dad.

[Zach Amico]

Wow, that's awesome.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah, yeah, it's on YouTube. Check it out on at and packer YouTube.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, please check that out, guys. That sounds really fun. Mr. Finance.

[Ian Finance]

Hi, everybody. This Wednesday, I'm in Irvine, California at the Irvine Improv. Saturday, August 23rd, two shows Oxner Levity Live. Then I'm in Fort Wayne, Indiana. September, I'm at comedy Connection in East Providence, Rhode Island. Stress Factory, New Brunswick, New Jersey. And September 26th and 27th, I am in Toronto for JFL Toronto at Comedy Bar. I'm going all over the road. Ianfinance.com for tickets I animal69 on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube YouTube.com Ian Finance Comedy I put up stand up all the time. And that's where my travel show Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs is coming out. So check that out and thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic. If you guys want to check me out, go to my Instagram @zackisnotfunny or go to Punchup Live Zackamica, where I've got all my dates. On August 28th, I'll be in Nashville on the 29th, Pulaski, August 30th, Miamiburg, Ohio. August 31st, Lexington, Kentucky. And if you love the show, go to gas digital.com today. The new gas digital again, just redid the whole website. Use that promo code Z o o zoo. And that gets you a little money off your subscription as well as episodes early ad free and uncensored. It gets to the archives thousands of episodes of all your favorite Gas Digital podcasts. It gets you access to the live chat and most importantly, our Friday bonus episode. That's right. We do three of these a week. But you only get the Friday show if you subscribe. So check it out today. And thank you so much for supporting the program. Ian, do you want to talk about your travel show a little bit? Some of the jobs you're going to be doing?

[Ian Finance]

Whoa. Yeah, I'd love to.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, please, Zach.

[Ian Finance]

I filmed eight or nine episodes so far. And the towns I go to and I play, I find someone that has a interesting job. They teach me how to do the job and then I do the job. It's like Dirty jobs Meet simple life.

[Zach Amico]

Okay?

[Ian Finance]

And this past weekend, I was in Chicago and we drove out to a canine training facility and I got tackled by German shepherds and was taught how to train them and command them, and it was horrific.

[Zach Amico]

Mr. Fighters, get away from my sheep.

[Ian Finance]

They didn't tell me that the dog suit that I wore, you feel, like, the pinch because it. The dog. If. If they don't. If the dog can't pinch, then they're going to try to chomp through an actual arm when they're, like, attacking. And they don't want that to happen. They just want the dog to put you in enough pain to make you submit. So, like, it's all about jaw pressure. So they start out with, like, an initial arm thing that's, like, really, really tough. And then they lower it lower to where it's, like, super thin almost to, like, work the dog's jaw. And they didn't tell me I was wearing, like, the thin suit.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, no.

[Ian Finance]

So, dude, I'm just like, ah, you'll never catch me covers. And I start running, and the dog runs and rips my arm, and immediately I'm like, ow. Al, stop. Please stop. And I start thanking the dog. Like, I don't know. I thought the dog would listen. I was like, thank you. Okay, I get it. You did your job. Thank you. And they're laughing at me like, oh, does it hurt? This happens all the time to us. And I'm like, oh, God, help me. And the thing's dick was, like, so hard. Like, it. It was weird, man.

[Zach Amico]

The. The.

[Ian Finance]

He was, like, so excited to kill me. And then they put a muzzle on it, and it, like, you. It tackles you and, like, headbutts you with the money. It was crazy. It was crazy.

[Zach Amico]

And its dick was hard.

[Ian Finance]

Well, when he was coming at me initially, like, his, because he gets so. They get so excited because it's like, play for them. So this dog's dick was, like, hard. And then once he got what he wanted, it, like, went away, but he was, like, just so excited. I was like, wow, you and I.

[Andrew Packer]

Then you had to wipe your mouth.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I got him off me.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

And so then I was in Wisconsin, and I got a Tattooer's license for 65 in an hour. Can get licensed to tattoo in Wisconsin. So I tattooed an apprentice at this tattoo shop. They opened up the BattleBots arena for me in Vegas, and I fixed robots and then got to control one at this, like, huge arena show. Yeah, it's been fun.

[Zach Amico]

That's awesome. I can't wait to watch, buddy.

[Ian Finance]

Thanks, man. Yeah, yeah, it's really fun. I'm really enjoying it. Give me something to do because I'm so lonely. I mean.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah, that. That sounds like you just designed a show that's going to give you a bunch of stuff to do when you would be so bored.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Needs a friend who.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that'll be the follow up show. And that's where I just hang out with people.

[Zach Amico]

Sad phone calls at 4am.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, I. It's great, man. And it just works out every. I mean, I'm on the road every weekend, so I just find someone during the week, link up and we.

[Zach Amico]

And is it fans? Usually?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, it's. I mean, I mean, it's mostly like fans are like, like, oh, hey, I know someone I'd like to link you up with. And I'm like, okay, great. And so, yeah, I'm super stoked. Once I get enough subscribers on my YouTube page, then I'm gonna release it. So probably. Probably around like 2500, 3000 subscribers.

[Zach Amico]

Cool. Please follow Ian so we can check that out. It reminds me of one of my favorite shows that I always talk about, only in America with Larry the Cable Guy.

[Ian Finance]

Whoa. What was that?

[Zach Amico]

So it's. He travels the country and it's essentially like. It's a kind of a job, like a Dirty Jobs kind of show, but it's more related to American history. So I'm a nerd for it. So it's. It's such. I've given up old white guy tv. Like, it's such a dad show. Like.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

When did this come out?

[Zach Amico]

A couple years ago.

[Ian Finance]

And what. What jobs would he do? Would he do jobs or he would just like, go interview, like, all different.

[Zach Amico]

It wasn't just jobs. So like, he would go to like, demolition there. Be very like, Americana shit. Yeah, he went to where they do alligator hide and like how they scan an alligator, which is weird.

[Ian Finance]

Whoa. I'm going to a reptile sanctuary.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Ian Finance]

Or this week, actually.

[Zach Amico]

Very sick.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then my favorite was he did a whole thing on marksman and sharpshooters. Oh, that's where he started off in like the ghillie suit, right? Learning how to be a marksman with, like, you know, the military. And his final thing was he had to shoot a quarter from across a football field.

[Ian Finance]

Did he do it?

[Zach Amico]

He got close.

[Ian Finance]

Like, is. Is a quarter moving or is it just like sitting there?

[Zach Amico]

Is a coin, like, sitting on a thing.

[Andrew Packer]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

But then it goes into. He goes squirrel hunting with a bunch of like, rednecks. Because he talks about in the show how the American Revolution. We won. One of the reasons we had way better marksmen is because we had small game hunters. So we were sending all these rednecks who were used to shooting like squirrels and chipmunks and shit.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, that's cool.

[Zach Amico]

And the British fucking. These assholes come wearing red.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So they could see them coming from miles away. They're like, dude, I shoot fucking tiny creatures for food. I'll fucking fuck these.

[Ian Finance]

Aren't they also playing drums and trumpets and everything? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They had no idea. It was completely unbeknownst to them, the idea of like, oh, we've got fucking hillbillies hiding in trees.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah. They've, they, they fought like they've only conquered the world. That's been their experience of war the.

[Zach Amico]

Whole time as we march in and march back out. Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

And then strategy came to play.

[Zach Amico]

It's kind of what happened with us with Vietnam.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

We're like when we tried to big dick it.

[Ian Finance]

And Afghanistan.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Too confident and everything. Ever since.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I remember.

[Ian Finance]

That's, that's so funny though. Just like some British guy walking around and some guy's like, hey, once I shoot him, can I eat him?

[Zach Amico]

I remember being a kid and my dad explaining Vietnam to me and why everyone was upset about Vietnam.

[Ian Finance]

What'd he say?

[Zach Amico]

So this is very. A very my dad way to put it, Zach. We just walked up and down Europe, you know, basically imposing our will on the world, right. And here we hear about this little rat country, Vietnam, and we send our troops fully in there and they destroyed us.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So it was humiliating. So then I repeated that in history class.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

We had just gotten a Vietnamese student and I referred to Vietnam as a little rat country.

[Ian Finance]

Oh my God, Zach.

[Zach Amico]

I got in trouble.

[Ian Finance]

He cried, oh, no, that poor kid.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, you know. Yeah, I understand both sides.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. God. Oh, that's so sad. I asked my uncle, I remember I asked my uncle who was in Vietnam, and I was like, why don't they let gay people in the military? And he was like, cuz when you're in a foxhole, you don't want to look over and your buddy's over there putting on lipstick. And even when I was like a kid, I was like, I don't think that's what they do in war. Like, what are you talking about, Uncle Danny?

[Zach Amico]

I don't think that's always what they do in gay sex either.

[Ian Finance]

Are you really gonna be like anim foxhole? And they're like just mortar shells everywhere. And some guy's like, I gotta put on some rouge.

[Andrew Packer]

I'm not gonna die looking like this.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to leave behind a good looking corpse. We need, we need munitions. We need MREs, and we need some cover up. Hey, when I say something, can you guys laugh?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I smile. I'm sorry. I smile. I like you. I'm just not a big laugher all the time. I'm sorry. Don't feel. Don't be so desperate. It's okay.

[Andrew Packer]

I was on board for the first time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we're having fun, baby. Don't, don't, don't get in your head. You panic. You're a nervous little monkey boy. It's okay. A conversation happens. It's okay. Dude. Don't be a nervous little monkey boy. Just be happy. Let the conversation happen. We all love each other. There's no. There's no. This is not the old regime.

[Andrew Packer]

Just stare into the eyes of this gorilla that's sitting on the table.

[Ian Finance]

What is this gorilla from?

[Andrew Packer]

It's common.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. Josie brought it and now it's his. My.

[Ian Finance]

I've. He's in like some cartoon or something three or four times, right?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. He's my monkey.

[Ian Finance]

I like him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we just hang out. All right, let's do some stories. You guys see that? Rabbits are growing horns in Colorado.

[Andrew Packer]

I saw that.

[Ian Finance]

What?

[Zach Amico]

So it's a fungus?

[Andrew Packer]

I believe it's the last of us is happening to rabbits.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, you got to see, it's weird. It's like the kind of shit that only happens to Indian people. Like they're just growing. Oh.

[Ian Finance]

And then they end up on my Explore page. Wait, what is it?

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, those poor guys.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

What is this from?

[Zach Amico]

So we have full on mutant rabbits running around Colorado. Shannon, explain it.

[Shannon]

Okay, so it's not a fungus. It's a. It's. It's basically like a. Like hpv kind of. It's the shop papillomavirus. And it pretty much only affects rabbits and hares.

[Zach Amico]

For now.

[Shannon]

Yeah. It says that they get it from infected, like, bugs, fleas, mosquitoes, and stuff like that. That's how it's transmitted. But they say that unless it, like, gets to their eyes or something like that, that their immune systems can usually fight it off and it will go away. But unless it gets, like, into their eye or brain.

[Zach Amico]

Now, Shannon, is there a chance that HPV will mutate and all the girls that I've had sex with will start growing horns?

[Shannon]

It's a possibility.

[Zach Amico]

Would they grow it? So does it grow at the side of it? Because then would they have, like, thorny pusses or is it just something you develop?

[Ian Finance]

Does it hurt them?

[Andrew Packer]

Also, is it Transmitted through sex? Or is this.

[Zach Amico]

They said that they're getting it through fleas and.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, okay.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, but how come other things aren't getting it from the fleas?

[Zach Amico]

Only affects rabbits so far.

[Ian Finance]

What?

[Zach Amico]

Certain disease only affect, like. Yeah, certain disease only affect certain animals.

[Ian Finance]

Can we see more pictures? Oh, those poor things.

[Zach Amico]

Unless they're the coolest rabbit.

[Ian Finance]

Did you. Did you. Speaking of rabbits, did.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, my God, I wonder how, like, tough it is if it's. If that growth is like. Is it like bone? Or is it.

[Ian Finance]

Is it like a deer's antlers?

[Zach Amico]

It looks painful.

[Andrew Packer]

It looks not right.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, those poor guys, man.

[Zach Amico]

How do you make an Airbnb a vrbo Picture a vacation rental with a.

[Shannon]

Host who's showing you every room like.

[Ian Finance]

You'Ve never seen a house before.

[Shannon]

Now get rid of them. There you go. No host ever.

[Zach Amico]

Now it's a verbo. Make it a verbo, dude.

[Ian Finance]

Speaking of rabbits, did you hear about that? Who's that German woman that faked being a socialite in New York City?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, did you hear about her.

[Ian Finance]

And her rabbit debacle?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Ian Finance]

There was a photo shoot where they got rabbits on leashes for her off some subway stop in the city. And. And then like the 19 year old PA who was in charge of getting the rabbits after the shoot, they were like, okay, well, these are yours now. Like, you have to get rid of these or bring them back or whatever. And the kid panicked, didn't know what to do, so he left them in Park Slope, just took a box, dumped them in Park Slope and then went away. And people found them and it turned into this huge shitstorm. And he like, doubled down, double down, double down, and was like, no, I brought them to Yonkers. And they're like, okay, can you show us the text exchange? He's like, why? Deleted it. It's kind of funny how you don't believe me. Like, he got, like, real indignant and then it just got to snowball into this crazy thing. He got caught in such a line, he had to make a public statement. Like, I. And I alone acted in a way that was against my moral character. Please leave everyone else alone. And like, dude, all these rabbit, like, New York rabbit lover communities came after him. And it was like this crazy thing. But it was so sad just seeing this, like, little pet store domesticated rabbit just sitting in Park Slope. Like, how dumb do you have to be?

[Zach Amico]

Dump them. Or did he dump them in the box?

[Ian Finance]

He dumped them and then left the box.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he left the box.

[Andrew Packer]

He freed Them, you got to do a full dump. You can't leave the box.

[Ian Finance]

No, you don't dump. You can't just leave pet store rabbits in Park Slope and think like, there's other rabbits that they'll hang out with. Are you stupid? Yeah, those little guys, they're gonna get horns on them.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah, they're not gonna last long.

[Ian Finance]

They're not gonna last.

[Shannon]

She also. She put out a statement saying, I. I don't eat meat. I don't sure.

[Ian Finance]

Like, the bone.

[Shannon]

I don't condone, like, I had nothing to do with the transport of these animals, the booking of them, the return of them. So she, like, cleared herself of everything having to do with this.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, but the kid just completely folded. He was in charge of getting them and. And from the same person he got. He, like, adopted them from. That's. The same person was like, hey, I think I recognize those rabbits.

[Zach Amico]

And they were just hanging out in the park or they were in. They weren't in the box?

[Ian Finance]

No, they were hanging out in the park.

[Zach Amico]

Then they survived.

[Ian Finance]

No, this is like an hour after.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay. Yeah, just take them to Central Park. Won't some eat it?

[Ian Finance]

No. How dare you? They're little rabbits.

[Zach Amico]

They're food.

[Ian Finance]

No, they're not pets. They're domesticated pet rabbits. They can't just be let out in the wild. There's a difference between running around wild rabbits and pet rabbits. These guys?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's easier to catch.

[Ian Finance]

No, we don't want them to die. They need to be someone's pet. What's wrong with you?

[Zach Amico]

They're food.

[Ian Finance]

No, they're not.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, they're food. What eats rabbit? Everything eats rabbits.

[Ian Finance]

You think something that eats rabbits is living in Park Slope?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, but I said Central Park. There's definitely something.

[Ian Finance]

No way.

[Zach Amico]

100%.

[Ian Finance]

Let's make a. Let's bet the gorilla.

[Zach Amico]

You're telling me there's not a predator in Central Park? A hawk.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, but people don't want hawks running around Central Park. Once a one hawk gets a little rabbit, he's gonna tell the other hawks. They're gonna come in, and then they're gonna steal someone's Pomeranian.

[Shannon]

There's. There's hawks.

[Zach Amico]

There's also.

[Shannon]

Coyote is in Central Park.

[Ian Finance]

Nu. Are you serious?

[Shannon]

And raccoons, but they probably won't kill a rabbit.

[Ian Finance]

And the coyotes and hawks eat little things in the park.

[Shannon]

Yeah, they are the predators that were listed at Central Park.

[Ian Finance]

Those little.

[Zach Amico]

They've been hunting them.

[Ian Finance]

I don't think those little pet rabbits should be let Go on them. Am I wrong?

[Zach Amico]

You're not wrong.

[Andrew Packer]

I mean, like, you're right, but the thing. The reason I've been quiet is because I. I see a rabbit and I just, like, don't care. Like, I don't know. Like, I love my dog. If it. I'd be. I'd be losing it harder than you right now. But I see a fluffy little rabbit and I go, it's cute.

[Zach Amico]

It's petable. It's a very petable meal.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

Have you ever eaten a rabbit?

[Zach Amico]

I've had rabbit.

[Ian Finance]

I do not like. I've had rabbit. I don't like it.

[Andrew Packer]

I'll tell you what it tastes like. It tastes like food.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

What are you, a hawk?

[Zach Amico]

I think I'm biased because I lived with a rabbit and I wasn't fond of him.

[Ian Finance]

I could tell there's some sort of history here.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I. My roommate, Stefan, years ago, had a girlfriend who had a rabbit, Reggie. He moved in with us. Rabbits kind of suck to live with.

[Ian Finance]

They're really tough to take care of. His pets.

[Zach Amico]

Well, first of all, in an apartment building, they're stinky. They thump. So if you remember, I had my horrible Indian people downstairs that hated me.

[Ian Finance]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

They hated the rabbit because he would thump at night and they would say, we were hammering and they were building furniture.

[Andrew Packer]

The rabbit hopping around.

[Zach Amico]

No, they do the, you know, thumper from.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, they do a thing with their Bambi.

[Zach Amico]

They bang with their back leg.

[Andrew Packer]

I didn't know they do that.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So he would thump and the Indian people would freak out. And I don't think this is rabbits. I think it was Reggie's owner. She was a very, very well to do lady. Very vegan. Very adamantly vegan. And Reggie was a spoiled boy.

[Ian Finance]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

So, like, I remember one night we all came home from a bar and we didn't have Reggie's food. And it was like three in the morning and I. And she's freaking out.

[Ian Finance]

Thumping and moving around.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And I was like, why don't we go to McDonald's and get a salad? Ask for it with nothing on it. I was like, and you can go through it and see if there's anything he can't have.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And we'll just put it in his bowl. And she goes, that's iceberg lettuce. That doesn't have the nutrients he needs. Oh, God, lady, it's one meal. We'll get food in the morning.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But then also, she would use Reggie to try to block me.

[Ian Finance]

How?

[Zach Amico]

The one night I had Ladies over.

[Ian Finance]

Ladies.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Three young ladies came to. We weren't fucking. I mean, I was trying. Hanging out with ladies.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And she hated when girls came over. So one night these girls came over and they all played with the bunny. Of course.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then he chewed up our Ethernet cable and took a piss on the box.

[Ian Finance]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

So our Internet went out.

[Ian Finance]

You should have let this bunny out in Park Slope.

[Zach Amico]

Right?

[Andrew Packer]

That sounds very targeted. It's like Ethernet and box.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They were next to each other.

[Ian Finance]

He sounds very vindictive.

[Zach Amico]

So then the next day, went over the Internet. She was. It's because you had those girls over last night. I went, what? She. He doesn't like girls.

[Ian Finance]

What?

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, what? She said, yeah, you shouldn't have them over again. That was him telling you not to have those girls again.

[Ian Finance]

Did she turn him into an attack rabbit?

[Zach Amico]

No, but it was just her. He took.

[Ian Finance]

Hold on, let me try again. I've heard of task rabbit, but I've never heard of attack rabbit.

[Andrew Packer]

He got it. You got.

[Shannon]

Oh, look, he's making him suck his own dick.

[Ian Finance]

Now I know how to get laughs. I just have to tickle you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

The listeners are like, wow, he really got Andrew on that one.

[Zach Amico]

They say that some, like your pets take on your personality traits, good or bad.

[Andrew Packer]

But are rabbits like that? Like, can they really? Because a dog really does mirror your personality and has their own personality. I've never seen that from a rabbit. They just kind of look like they're there eating.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sure if you spend enough time with it, you can start.

[Ian Finance]

Some of them can be pretty mean.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I think we're turning on rabbits right now.

[Ian Finance]

I was about to say some of them can be pretty mean because they're meant to be in the wild.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, they're meant to be in Park Slope.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Ian Finance]

Maybe this little twink was right. He should have just dropped them off.

[Zach Amico]

Now he dropped it off in a Jew neighborhood where it would become a hat.

[Ian Finance]

Jesus, Jack.

[Zach Amico]

What? There's nothing wrong with the name, with the serum. Jew neighborhood.

[Ian Finance]

Do you think it. Shannon, is there a follow up on this kid? Did he kill himself? What happened?

[Shannon]

I don't have a follow up on him, but they. But they were. They were taken back in. The bunnies are safe.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they're very cute, but I don't. It's a bad pet.

[Ian Finance]

No, I wouldn't want to rabbit as a pet.

[Zach Amico]

I think maybe if you have. Here's the thing. It's that city, Peter. No, maybe if you have a House out in the country. And the rabbit has its own habitat. Yeah, but in the backyard.

[Ian Finance]

A friend of mine growing up had a rabbit as a pet, and he had it in a cage in the backyard because if you let them go, they're susceptible to getting eaten by other stuff.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Cause they're food animals.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

They're prey.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

But doesn't prey deserve to not be prey?

[Zach Amico]

No, that's not how it works.

[Ian Finance]

Well, you know, it's funny. You said dogs, like, mirror their. Their owners, and I am thinking about my two cats, and they are so gay. Me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, one of them's, like, super affable and, like, friendly, and, like, everyone loves them. And then the other one's, like, like, nervous and, like, everything. And I'm like, oh, did I do that to you?

[Zach Amico]

If you ever meet a dog that.

[Ian Finance]

Has anxiety, slink away and, like, sleep for three days. And I'm like, yeah, gets it after his father.

[Zach Amico]

If you ever meet a dog that has quote, unquote anxiety, I guarantee you its owner has anxiety.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, dude.

[Zach Amico]

No super comfortable, happy, outgoing person has a dog with anxiety.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. But also, my one cat was found in an engine block and, like, didn't have a mother. And I was his first, like, human. Real, like. So he's. He was kind of, you know, little broken from the start, still.

[Zach Amico]

It's a cat. You. You imprint. You interpret. Imprint the personality. But yes, some animals. Some animals are mean.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. He's not mean. You're talking about my guy already.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't say he was mean. My grandma had a mean cat, Molly.

[Ian Finance]

Actually, my cat Sampson's been coming out more. I'm really proud of him.

[Zach Amico]

Anyway, Molly ass was mean as hell.

[Ian Finance]

The whole name is Molly ass.

[Zach Amico]

Something German.

[Andrew Packer]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

And Mollyas lived in the basement. And my grandpa had a big bald head, and he would sit in his recliner and Molias would scratch his bald spot, like, run at it. And he hated my grandpa's bald spot, so he would sit in his fucking Archie bunker chair, and Molly ass would get up on the kitchen table and run and then claw my grandpa's bald spot.

[Ian Finance]

How what makes that cat hone in on the bald spot?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know, but he hated my grandpa's head.

[Andrew Packer]

Don't some cats just hone in on your insecurity and exploit it? I think that's what it is.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. My old roommate. Two of my old roommates, One had a cat and the other hated the cat. And I'll never forget the first day My old. My one roommate brought the cat to live with us. My buddy was sipping a couple coffee. He was like, I hate this cat. And the cat just went up to him and then swiped his leg. He was like, ah. And then his claw got it took his socks off and he had to, like, shake his foot. The sock comes off. And I was like, I'm on Team Cat.

[Zach Amico]

That was kind of cool. I think they definitely can tell when you don't like them.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever lived, like, certain animals, I just think, aren't even suburban animals. That was Natalie. She was just. Shannon's microphone was on. Right.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, I thought they were having an argument and you just proved her point.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. So for me.

[Ian Finance]

Thank you, Zach.

[Andrew Packer]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And by the way, certain animals are not for indoor because they stay.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Rabbits. My permanent. Your white trash, if you have it. Ferret.

[Ian Finance]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

It doesn't belong in the house.

[Ian Finance]

Do you know Matt Richards has, like, 20 animals and he brings, like, a sugar flyer glider with him and he just keeps it in his little, like, wrist. Is that crazy?

[Zach Amico]

That's insane.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. You know sugar gliders?

[Andrew Packer]

No, I don't know what that is.

[Ian Finance]

Pop up a sugar glider.

[Zach Amico]

So we've gone through sugar glider many years ago on the Real House podcast when Lewis was looking for a pet for baby James. And we called the pet store and they straight up told us, do not get a sugar glider.

[Ian Finance]

Why?

[Zach Amico]

First of all, they said, oh, God, they're very cute.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, God. You just throw it. Oh, that's cool.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, wow.

[Ian Finance]

Why won't you get one? Those are great.

[Andrew Packer]

They are adorable.

[Ian Finance]

So that's like a pet boomerang thing.

[Zach Amico]

Number one. You're not supposed to have just one.

[Ian Finance]

What are they? Pringles? Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. Laugh. Don't make me. I'll come over there and tickle you. Zach.

[Zach Amico]

Ian only knows about Pringles because he's on the can.

[Andrew Packer]

I was gonna say, I'm like, it's lays, but all right, we're going.

[Ian Finance]

No Pringles. Once you pop, you don't stop.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I thought you were like Pringles because people get their fists stuck in you. It's a loose grip, man.

[Andrew Packer]

You're sitting on that one for a while.

[Zach Amico]

So is he. I watch more. They're like bonding animal. They need a friend or they get depressed.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They also apparently take eight to 10 months to bond with their owner.

[Ian Finance]

What?

[Zach Amico]

So they spend the first eight months you have them attacking you? Nuh, that's what the lady at the pet store said she's lying.

[Ian Finance]

Matt Richards thing didn't attack him. He was so nice. He just stayed in his pocket.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe that was a very nice one. The other issue people have with sugar gliders is you can no longer have open liquids in the house.

[Ian Finance]

Why?

[Andrew Packer]

They can fall in them.

[Zach Amico]

They dive in them. Wow. So you can't leave the toilet open ever because it'll dive and drown.

[Ian Finance]

I don't leave the toilet up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And the other thing is you can't cook anything because they dive in the soup. Like if you're making a soup or stew some, they dive in it and cook themselves alive.

[Andrew Packer]

Well, don't they have a little cage or something you can put them in while you do that stuff?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, of course. But I think you got to keep an eye on them all the time. Right, Shannon? Is that where the points we came to last time?

[Shannon]

Yeah. And I, I don't, I don't know that it's necessarily that they're looking to dive into like the boiling pot. It's just they're not acknowledging it as danger. So if they're like gliding around, they might just go in there and die. They're also, they have like a really specific diet where it's like certain fruits, nuts, bugs, and then also, like you said, they're colony animals and so, like, they thrive when they're together. So yeah, it does take time for them to like, bond with a human. They like need their friends and they're not truly domesticated. So they really are like wild animals and shouldn't be in the house.

[Ian Finance]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

See, there you go. Yeah. We knew the kid that had a million snakes.

[Ian Finance]

God damn.

[Zach Amico]

They probably shouldn't be in the house.

[Andrew Packer]

What's wrong with just getting a dog? I got a dog like six weeks ago. It's a four month old miniature dash hunt. Why are people not just doing something simple like that?

[Ian Finance]

It's already a lot of cat. Cats need to be. Cats need to be rescued.

[Andrew Packer]

We are perfect representation of a cat person in a dog person right now. This is very.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yep. Dogs are the best.

[Zach Amico]

I get it. I, I, I've been in a dog. I, I've really been yearning. I think I can have it in my place. I need, I need somewhere for it to run around. I feel bad. People have like New York dogs.

[Andrew Packer]

That's why I got a little one. It's just a mini dash.

[Zach Amico]

A little one I can, I can wrap my head around.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. Put that thing in the wild. See how it survives.

[Andrew Packer]

My cat live. You See her run around.

[Ian Finance]

My cat will take your dog out any day of the week.

[Andrew Packer]

I doubt it.

[Ian Finance]

Let's go. Bring your dog.

[Andrew Packer]

My dog was bred to take down badgers.

[Ian Finance]

Read to be a little wiener dog. A little wiener, wiener. Wiener dog, buddy. Let's see a picture of it.

[Zach Amico]

Dog your scout.

[Andrew Packer]

We're gonna dogs versus cat. Dude.

[Ian Finance]

Anytime someone brings a dog in my place, Glenn alphas the out of their dog. It's awesome. Let's go.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but they real dogs. But it's just like. Or is it, like, whatever.

[Ian Finance]

Jordan's dog, Coyote. And then my friend CC Brought Boston terrier, and Glenn, like, alpha the out of him.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Finance]

The dog, like, was cowering, and Glenn's, like, the super nicest guy. Like, he'll. He'll come up and, like, hop on your shoulder and, like, let you hold him, and he's, like, so chill. But with. I don't know. With, like, dogs, he's just, like, not in my house. Like, that's my boy. And then Samson's in the corner, like, does everything all right.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy.

[Ian Finance]

Like, inside of me live two wolves. Glenn and Samson.

[Zach Amico]

My first cat was racist.

[Ian Finance]

What?

[Zach Amico]

Probably on me.

[Ian Finance]

How it really does mirror the owner.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't raise him. I got him all races.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, that's a good question. How?

[Zach Amico]

I. I don't know. He didn't like black people.

[Ian Finance]

Why? What would you do?

[Zach Amico]

Kiss.

[Ian Finance]

Really? For only black people?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Maybe it was, like, a color thing.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know what it was, but.

[Ian Finance]

I mean, that's kind of racing what racism is.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

Do cats. Are cats not colorblind in the way dogs are?

[Ian Finance]

I don't know. I know cats develop their meow to communicate with us.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Cats don't meow at each other. That's for us.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

Well, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Fred hissed at black people. I don't know what, but I got him from my ex and that her family was called Gabaj.

[Ian Finance]

Oh. I was gonna say the cat probably saw the ex just get mauled by a ton of black people in the bedroom. So she just thought they were threats.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he thought they were natural.

[Andrew Packer]

I think he said mold, because that's in the cat's mind. This is a mauling.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. See, I'm such a cat guy. I speak of their language.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He would. He would hiss at a black. And then Seymour hated my roommate Vito, because Vito always had other cats. So I think he associated Vito with the other cats. Because then after Vito and his cats moved out, Vito came to stay for a day before my wedding. And Seymour saw him and immediately started hissing at him.

[Ian Finance]

Are your cats still not getting along?

[Zach Amico]

No. Seymour passed away.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, God. Oh, that's right. Fuck.

[Zach Amico]

Don't worry about was a while ago. You're fine, baby. He's on the shelf. We're boys. It's cool. Hey, guys. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created body brain coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their ed back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and yeah, the bedroom too. And it's not just about testosterone. Body brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity and mood, thanks to lion's mane, ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters in a crash, Body brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm and locked in. All while supporting your natural tea levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset, and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. Up. And you can save 15 today with the promo code ZOO15.Z O [e-mail] that's bodybraincoffee.com promo code ZOO15. Power your day, fuel your drive. Let's get back into the program.

[Ian Finance]

Slither, have you grow. Have you ever had to go through a pet death?

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah, I mean, my childhood dog. Basically the day I left for college right after, like. Like it was like she went through the whole child broken heart. And then she was just like. Like she was holding on by a thread when I got dropped off. And then the next day it was just. She's like, I did my job.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, that's the kind of love, that one. Yeah, yeah. I want someone to die without me.

[Zach Amico]

You just want someone to care that you're gone.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want somebody to care.

[Andrew Packer]

You just want to complete your purpose, you know, she did.

[Zach Amico]

Do you leave food for the cats or do you have somebody come over?

[Ian Finance]

I have. Have automatic feeder, automatic water, automatic litter. And then my cousin Sherry comes over and takes care of them. So she'll come over like every day after work and just check on them, play with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Can I be honest with you? What? Sherry's got a Body on her.

[Ian Finance]

She's got a body. Adi oni. She was great. She did the podcast.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, I was talking. She took a, like, thirst trap picture. Really holding her tits. You wouldn't know from the way she's my cousin. She dresses like Adam Sandler, butch lesbian.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. She. Yeah, she dresses like a trucker, but she got body.

[Ian Finance]

I'm like, dude, grow your hair out. Like, grow. Grow your hair long and go lipstick. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm telling you, sharing enough. I was really impressed.

[Ian Finance]

Hell, yeah. That's cool. If you're watching Slip into Share cousin. Share his dm. No, she's married. She's doing good. She's not cheating anymore.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she's getting through it.

[Ian Finance]

No, Sherry's a homie, man. She really hooks it up. Coming over and helping out with the cat.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. So when I go out on the road, if nobody's home, usually I, I. Three days is max, but I'll leave like a shitload of food and water.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, so you don't have automatic. You just leave it in there?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, when I leave a ton. Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Have you seen the increasingly bad decisions of Todd Margaret?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Have you? It's a David Cross TV show. Like, he gets asked to go move to London and he just leaves a pile of cat food for his cat before he leaves. And then, like the next episode, it's just the cat's like, bones and all these animals have come through the window. Just like, it's funnier if you saw it. I didn't do a good job.

[Zach Amico]

It's a British show.

[Ian Finance]

It's a British.

[Zach Amico]

It's David Cross, but it's British. Very, very dark. Yeah, I don't think that's been three day. Three days. I think you can leave.

[Ian Finance]

No, that's great. That's fine.

[Zach Amico]

Then we. I leave music on for him.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, that's cute.

[Zach Amico]

Just so he's. He's got somewhere to chill.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

I was doing that for a bit for my dog, but then, you know, your Spotify doesn't let you have it playing in two places at the same time. And I was like, ah, Well, I.

[Zach Amico]

Leave YouTube on and they have, like, music for cats and stuff.

[Ian Finance]

I went to my. My friend's spot in Chicago and they have this, like, huge, insane studio, and it's. It's like a warehouse. And on one of the walls he has YouTube videos playing of little, like, cartoon squirrels and birds and the cats just. It's on a projector. And the catch just run and swat the wall because it's like a concrete. It was like, the coolest thing we.

[Zach Amico]

Had to stop put. Because we had a video for cats that was birds. But we had to stop because my cat kept trying to. There was a red bird he hated.

[Ian Finance]

Dude mine.

[Zach Amico]

No matter what, leap at the tv.

[Ian Finance]

When I listen to music or anything on my phone, he said, something will come up. No, he'll just paw at it. And he's, like, called 911 on my phone by accident because I. I don't know how, but it, like, he can, like, swipe up.

[Zach Amico]

He probably hit emergency call.

[Ian Finance]

I don't know what he did, but I can bet your dog won't do that.

[Andrew Packer]

Hopefully not.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. Actually, that's a magic.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so here's a fun game. Let's take a little guessing game, kids. Former Miss Universe star Ksenia Alex Drova, dead at 30. Let's guess what happened.

[Ian Finance]

Pills.

[Zach Amico]

You say pills?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Mr. Packer.

[Andrew Packer]

She was deadlifting and just pulled it all.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Ian Finance]

Whoa. That's a nice positive outlook on how this woman would die.

[Zach Amico]

Jorge. Ah. Shannon covered it.

[Ian Finance]

Before I can lick the screen, I want to say something weird, like elevator death.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I feel like this. I. I sent this to Shannon without looking at it. I. I do also feel this was an accidental and not, like, an overdose. I feel like this was just a freak accident.

[Shannon]

Shannon, can I give you an extra clue and maybe it will. You'll adjust your guesses.

[Ian Finance]

Yes.

[Shannon]

So she is. She was a Miss Russia. And this happened in Russia.

[Zach Amico]

Car accident.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, Poisoning.

[Shannon]

Andrew.

[Zach Amico]

Frostbite on a bread line.

[Andrew Packer]

I don't know. My mind just went super political. She got caught in Crimea for a little bit.

[Ian Finance]

I was gonna say she got. She got asked to join the war. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Drowned in Russian dressing.

[Ian Finance]

I'm saying poisoned.

[Andrew Packer]

She got stuck in a doll that was slightly too small for her.

[Zach Amico]

Turned into borscht.

[Shannon]

Okay, so she was killed after an elk smashed through the car windshield of a Porsche with her husband.

[Ian Finance]

Whoa.

[Shannon]

Husband's fine.

[Andrew Packer]

Husband's fine.

[Shannon]

Yep. And she. It smashed, like, directly into her head, knocking her unconscious. And then she just had terrible brain injuries. And then she passed away about a month later.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, that's so sad.

[Andrew Packer]

Are we certain that the husband was not the elk?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, not.

[Ian Finance]

Are we certain the elk wasn't sent by the Russian government?

[Zach Amico]

That's, oh, so beautiful. Elk.

[Ian Finance]

That little head smashed by an elk. That looks like a rabbit with hpv.

[Zach Amico]

That's brutal. I always think about, like, the people that die from pranks, like, when people throw shit out of the car. Do you tell people, like, so if you're a fan. So.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, does that happen a lot?

[Zach Amico]

So wasn't there a lady that was killed by a turkey? Like, somebody threw a frozen turkey.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, that's so sad when you have.

[Zach Amico]

To tell people, like, oh, my mom died. What happened? Do you make something? A car accident? You don't say freak.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah, turkey car accident.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, you just said car accident. Dude, the best turkey driving video I've ever seen is. Have you ever seen that? It's two. It's two shots of a truck driver driving, and a turkey is somehow in his cab, and he's like, get out of here, turkey. Get out of here. And he pushes a turkey out, and the turkey's like, gobble, gobble, gobble. And then the next shot is a guy driving down the highway that the turkey goes through the windshield, and you just see turkey feathers explode. And the kid gets out of the car. He's covered in blood. He's like, what the. It's crazy. Can you find that video?

[Zach Amico]

You can find that? I would love that. Shannon, am I right about the turkey going through the turkey?

[Ian Finance]

Truck driver accident?

[Shannon]

So, Zach, the one that. If this is the same one, I think that she was. It was in 2004, and it said she was nearly killed.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Shannon]

When the frozen turkey was thrown through her windshield. But she died 10 years later. She was 59.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. And if you can find Ian's video.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I'm working on it.

[Zach Amico]

That used to just be a thing by the, like. How old are you, brother?

[Andrew Packer]

31.

[Zach Amico]

When I. Maybe it was. Maybe this is a little past your age range. When we were kids, like, I had friends that used to just stand on the freeway and throw shit.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, yeah. No, it's part of being a young boy is that you want to throw things and watch them interact.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. Yeah. Especially, like, growing up, like, in a suburban area.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I remember we all saw the Good Son, and we were like, yeah, that's funny.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, I was. I wasn't allowed to watch that because it was, like, rated R. But I remember I wanted to because Ms. Cauley Culkin was in it. We used it. Yeah, dude. My. Actually, my buddy was driving under, like, a overpass, and these teens were up there, and they threw eggs, and it exploded on his windshield. And his wife was like, are you gonna drive back there and do something? Like, what the. Blah, blah, blah? And he goes, you know what? For all the I did as a kid? Smashing mailboxes, throwing, like, you know, sodas over bridges and stuff. Like, good for them.

[Andrew Packer]

Had it coming.

[Ian Finance]

They got me. I had it coming.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

I mean, it's just like, oh, here we go.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. All right. I gotta try to get this turkey out of my truck. Okay, you got to go, stupid. Come on. Go out the same way you came in. You got the ghost, stupid.

[Zach Amico]

Get your little head out of here.

[Ian Finance]

Come on, get out, get out, get out.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, Sound like a cat.

[Ian Finance]

Okay, we'll try the side door.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wow. So scary.

[Andrew Packer]

So scary.

[Ian Finance]

Come on, stupid.

[Andrew Packer]

I like that he tried to speak turkey. Looks like he has an animal cage there.

[Zach Amico]

That's for hookers and Batman sheets.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, the poor hooker, like, gets banged out on Batman sheets in a turkey feather everywhere. Ooh. Ooh.

[Andrew Packer]

The thud.

[Ian Finance]

Oh.

[Andrew Packer]

Just absolutely decimated. What did he think was going to happen? He left no other choice. To the turkey, there was road and car, and that's it.

[Zach Amico]

Can we see that?

[Ian Finance]

Do you have. Do you have the video of the kid?

[Zach Amico]

I'm probably. Probably two different. That's probably two different videos, and they edited it.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But sh. Can we just see the hit again, please?

[Ian Finance]

That turkey getting hit sounded like me when that dog tackled me.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sorry.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you. You did your job. I'm free. One.

[Ian Finance]

Ooh.

[Zach Amico]

Can't even get a three potato in. Freedom.

[Andrew Packer]

One of those videos that gets funnier the more times you y.

[Zach Amico]

One more time again.

[Andrew Packer]

Goes like that.

[Zach Amico]

Just freedom.

[Ian Finance]

I didn't want to be in your truck anyway.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he's a drive through.

[Ian Finance]

All right. Door's open. Get the out. Door's open. Get the out.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, there's a part that we're not seeing.

[Andrew Packer]

The cameraman. I mean, he's on it. Like, he. The fact that he caught it.

[Zach Amico]

First of all, it's per. It's like a final destination.

[Andrew Packer]

But, oh, no. It's like, what else? No, this is, like, exactly what should happen. When you open the door to a quote unquote cage onto a road. It's like if you. Like when they captured a polar bear, if they just, like, released it onto a freeway, it's like, where is it going to go?

[Ian Finance]

Other side was out to the woods.

[Andrew Packer]

And then the guy. The trucker's, like, blaming the turkey, being like, I try to get him out on the other side. He didn't want to go.

[Ian Finance]

Can you try to find the video from the driver's perspective real quick?

[Zach Amico]

There's one thing we're missing. That's my favorite part. What? As the turkey gets hit, there's just one feather, like the bag in American Beauty. You gotta see. You watch.

[Ian Finance]

Go back. Go back.

[Zach Amico]

Watch. Like the bottom right hand side of the turkey. It's the one feather dancing in the wind like Pocahontas.

[Ian Finance]

Dude, let I make the same noise when that dog tackles me. Ready?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God. Ow.

[Ian Finance]

He's, like, biting my skin. Yeah, he really is.

[Zach Amico]

Ow. Okay, man. All right, buddy.

[Ian Finance]

Thank you. Up under you.

[Zach Amico]

Get your right knee up on you. Lean forward and stand up.

[Ian Finance]

He's really hurting me.

[Zach Amico]

You should probably knock it out. Ow. Ow.

[Ian Finance]

You want to down? Yeah, yeah, I do.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Ian Finance]

Lo. Lo was a code word they gave me. That's like the command to, like, let go. And they were like, oh, he's not going to listen to you. No, that's our word.

[Andrew Packer]

It's like he doesn't respect you.

[Zach Amico]

No. He just bitched you out.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wait. Is this the other side?

[Ian Finance]

That was the craziest thing that ever happened. 70 miles per hour, a bird.

[Zach Amico]

The dude. Here it is.

[Ian Finance]

Here, play the whole thing. All right. Door's open. Get the out.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man.

[Ian Finance]

Really didn't make it very far. That was the craziest thing that ever happened. 70 miles per hour, a bird.

[Zach Amico]

The dude. What are the odds?

[Andrew Packer]

I like that Both parties blame the bird. It's the clearly the bird's fault. Currently, there's litigation against the bird, not the guy's vulver.

[Ian Finance]

The guy just goes, well, he didn't get really far.

[Zach Amico]

How did it get in?

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah, I didn't hear that in the other video. There was no remorse. There's no reaction, no empathy. It was just. Damn.

[Ian Finance]

Even here. Go. Oh, my God. You just watch it. I want to get obliterated.

[Zach Amico]

I want to know why it was in there.

[Ian Finance]

I don't know.

[Andrew Packer]

I. I do know that it was the turkey's fault.

[Ian Finance]

I mean, what do you do after you get done a turkey? You make it leave.

[Zach Amico]

There you go.

[Ian Finance]

Get on that didn't get very far. The kids just got an exploded turkey in the front seat.

[Andrew Packer]

How is your reaction not. Oh, no. Is that person okay?

[Zach Amico]

Is that blood on your head? No. Cranberry sauce.

[Andrew Packer]

Looks like life ends early.

[Ian Finance]

I hope somebody brought the stuffing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. 911. Hello. I need stuffing, stuffing, and garlic mashed potatoes. Thank you.

[Ian Finance]

Can you make the green bean casserole.

[Zach Amico]

Extra crispy pumpkin pie, stat? All right, here's a fun one. I was waiting for you, Ian. For this one, our friends Abby and Brittany Hensel had a baby.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

For those of you who don't Know who? I know who they are. Andrew, are you familiar?

[Andrew Packer]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Bring it up, Shannon.

[Ian Finance]

My two favorite whores that connected at the.

[Zach Amico]

So that's Abby and Britney.

[Andrew Packer]

Okay.

[Ian Finance]

That is the luckiest man alive.

[Zach Amico]

That is a man who definitely doesn't have a weird fetish at all. He just is in love with a lady who happens to be on her sister.

[Ian Finance]

Do they share a vagina?

[Andrew Packer]

Jealousy has got to be crazy.

[Zach Amico]

They have to. They share a pair of legs.

[Andrew Packer]

Well, whose eyes do you look?

[Ian Finance]

Which one is he married to exactly?

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, explain it to us. The hot one. Which one?

[Ian Finance]

Does he think he's a man? He's like, I have a three them every night.

[Zach Amico]

The thrle. Shannon, explain it to us.

[Shannon]

Hold on. I have to. I have to look it up again. I did know. I think that they share everything from like the chest down, but let me double check.

[Ian Finance]

Do they have two different cell phones?

[Andrew Packer]

I thought you were going to talk about like how many boobs do they have? Oh, no, I wanted to know.

[Ian Finance]

I'm like, when one of them was dating him, did they use both hands to text or was it like one like. Like do they share responses? Like group chats happen? Well, every hangout with them's a group chat.

[Shannon]

So they, they share a pelvis and they have like one set of. Of each of their productive. One set of productive organs. So like they have to like have a kid together also. So I think this is a little bit of a click baity title though, Zach. And it said that they were out with a newborn baby but they don't know who the baby belongs to. Oh, no, I'll show you the pictures here, but yeah, they don't. They don't know. Here's one. This is them putting the baby in the car.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man.

[Ian Finance]

The wide back.

[Zach Amico]

It's a wide back for a gal.

[Shannon]

But yeah, that's it. So.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's watch that video again. Wouldn't have to always stare and take pictures because we don't like when they take pictures. So they just knew.

[Ian Finance]

Well then chop your other head off, idiot.

[Documentary Narrator]

And five years ago, Abby and Brittany Hensel made a rare appearance in a documentary called join for life. All about their lives as conjoined twins as they turned 12.

[Ian Finance]

My name's Abigail Rand Hensel and Brittany Lee Hensel. And don't you dare say a thing about them.

[Documentary Narrator]

As they've grown, much of their life is still the same. They still live in the same small town in Minnesota with their 14 year old brother Cody, 12 year old sister Morgan Megan, parents Mike and Patty and the family dog, Sadie. Like most 16 year olds, they go to school, shop, hang out with friends.

[Ian Finance]

Unlike most 16 year olds, they're horrified. They really have to cut the necks of all their shirts.

[Documentary Narrator]

Very unique lives.

[Shannon]

Do you want to keep going or stop there?

[Zach Amico]

I just want to discuss. You have to, right? If you got the opportunity.

[Ian Finance]

Them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, of course. You gotta.

[Ian Finance]

I mean, Andrew, what do you think?

[Andrew Packer]

I'm just like, they're not.

[Zach Amico]

They're. They're older.

[Andrew Packer]

There's so much flowing through my brain right now. Like, what?

[Ian Finance]

Let it out. Let it out.

[Andrew Packer]

I'm just. If one of them's blowing you, the other one's just like, hitting the cushion. I don't understand.

[Zach Amico]

I believe. Didn't they say that one has sex, the other, like, disassociates?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

So the twin put on one airpod.

[Shannon]

The twin, Abby, is the one who's married to that guy Josh. And it says they share a body and have stated they intend to be mothers. So that indicates that, you know, banging is happening but feels it. I think they both feel it.

[Ian Finance]

It's like both have to be in the mood.

[Andrew Packer]

Like, which one's disassociating? Is it the one that looks like part of the body or the one that's like, clinging on?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, you're gonna have to be more specific, dude. But.

[Zach Amico]

But that one likes being choked. But you always forget which side is which.

[Ian Finance]

Okay, ethical question. Say Britney or. No, Abby's dating the guy. Say Britney doesn't feel like having sex, but Abby D. Is that rape? Like, what's. Does he have to get consent from both? Like, do they both have to be into it? How does he, like, dirty talk with just the one and there's the other? Like, doing a puzzle? Like, I don't.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Say, do you put like a pillow over the other one?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, I mean, and then just keep it there. They should really answer these questions.

[Andrew Packer]

Plus, like, women already take so long to get ready. Imagine, like, having two faces to do makeup on.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

He probably has to tell them that the reservation is like a full hour before it actually is, just to hope to get there.

[Zach Amico]

Also, we'll probably need a table in the back away from everyone so that other people can eat.

[Ian Finance]

Do you have a large blanket to put over half of this freak.

[Zach Amico]

Dinner for two and a half, I think. I don't know. Two seats, three menus.

[Ian Finance]

What if one of them wants a transition and the other doesn't? I guess they could have a TV show called Two and a Half Men. Come on, Andrew, don't make me.

[Andrew Packer]

There's no tickle happening.

[Ian Finance]

I'll come over there and tickle you, Zach. Don't you worry. Come on, my little turkey. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I guess you have to warm places, right? You can't just show up with that.

[Ian Finance]

No, I think you just show up and just live your life.

[Zach Amico]

Life.

[Ian Finance]

I. I don't think, like, obviously freaks to us, but, like, to them, like, they just want to be treated normal, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but I'd be distracted.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, but it's like, what do you. What do you do? You just look, and then you look away, and then you make fun of it when you're not around.

[Andrew Packer]

Do they have jobs? Like, do they.

[Zach Amico]

Great question. I think they're teachers, Shannon. I'm pretty sure they're teachers.

[Shannon]

I'm reading, trying to figure out how the relationship works, but it seems like they've been really private about this part of their life.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, but they are. Right.

[Shannon]

One second.

[Ian Finance]

But it's like, they owe us specifically.

[Shannon]

Fifth grade teachers in Minnesota.

[Ian Finance]

Well, time for me also.

[Shannon]

They. They get one. One salary.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, that's up.

[Zach Amico]

What do you pay to. They can only teach one class. Yeah, but it's two people doing one person's job.

[Ian Finance]

Dude, imagine if one of them didn't want to be a teacher. Like, what if they had two jobs? Teacher. And the other word kids.

[Shannon]

It also says Abby focuses on math and science, while Brittany focuses on language arts and reading. So they. They're doing two different things.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, well, because they probably share one brain or. No, they have two different.

[Andrew Packer]

I wonder if they have, like. Do they have to sleep at the same time or is like. Are they able to. Because you're usually resting your brain during sleep. So could you, like, like, partition and, like, stay up indefinitely?

[Ian Finance]

I mean, that to me is like, you could get a lot of work done.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but only with your side. I think they each control a side. Like, one controls the left. Am I right, Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yeah. So, like, they both have independent heads, but then they both have one arm, one leg each.

[Ian Finance]

Well, looks like I am gonna have to move to Minnesota, hire a makeup artist and become. Become a fifth grader, get in the Minnesota public school system, have them be my teachers, and then woo one of them, the other one commit inappropriate acts so that she is to go to jail, but the other one doesn't. And that would be a fun time.

[Zach Amico]

One, they definitely different part. Like, one's got to be the bad girl.

[Ian Finance]

What do you mean?

[Zach Amico]

One's got to be the meaner of the two. One's got to be the hornier of the two.

[Ian Finance]

What if one was addicted to coke and the other was like, into God? That'd be so cool.

[Andrew Packer]

It's pretty wild because you know how guys sometimes use their left hand to feel like someone else is doing it? It's. It's spot on for them.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think he's ever like, come on, for my birthday? Can your sister lick my balls while you blow me, Dude?

[Andrew Packer]

See, now. Now you're thinking, what if he's like.

[Ian Finance]

One for you, one for you, one for you?

[Zach Amico]

Of course I've thought that. Wow. He's ever double choked.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, God. Nine. Something tells me that they're all weirdly asexual.

[Zach Amico]

No, they gotta do. I mean, why would they have a husband? They like to. No, at least one likes to.

[Ian Finance]

They're innocent people. They're not like us. They're not damaged. They. They come from good homes. They. They. They're not. Their life's not all about. They want to be teachers and treated normal. Not like us. Wholesome. Yeah.

[Andrew Packer]

Zach. They want to wake up and see.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think they ever use a double? A double headed dildo?

[Ian Finance]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Packer]

I was just talking about. I was just thinking about having a coffee on a patio at 7am Looking at the sunrise. They're not. They're not double.

[Ian Finance]

Do they share a butthole?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

They would suck if one of them wasn't in the anal.

[Andrew Packer]

Who do you think has to wipe?

[Zach Amico]

Whoever's got the dominant hand.

[Ian Finance]

Now they rock, paper, scissor every time.

[Zach Amico]

Rock, paper, scissors, poop.

[Ian Finance]

Do you think one of them, if they get mad at the other, they'll.

[Zach Amico]

Like, pinch like three stooges?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That'S the thing.

[Ian Finance]

It's like if. If one of them gets like, hurt, does the other one fear? That's.

[Zach Amico]

Stay on pace, chowderhead.

[Ian Finance]

I mean, we're not the first to ask these questions, but I think as being public freaks, they all owe us an answer.

[Zach Amico]

I wonder if the other one headbutts her when she's mad.

[Ian Finance]

What's gonna happen when one of them.

[Zach Amico]

So I've read about conjoined twins.

[Ian Finance]

What if one of them got killed by like a serial killer, but he let the other live?

[Zach Amico]

So with conjoined twins, one has died before the other one.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, that's.

[Zach Amico]

And they're just connected to the.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, God, that's sad.

[Shannon]

They share a bloodstream though.

[Zach Amico]

They'll probably die. Yeah, I think the ones I read about were like bare. Like they were connected by like a piece of like they're connected by the hip.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, these guys are connected at the pelvis.

[Zach Amico]

No, they're connected by the chest up. Oh.

[Ian Finance]

But they share.

[Zach Amico]

They're just a two headed person.

[Ian Finance]

So. Do they only have two boobs?

[Zach Amico]

I think so. They said the chest down everything is one.

[Ian Finance]

Why can't they make an only fans? Gotcha. Ow. That hurts.

[Andrew Packer]

Now I'm starting to think that dog was pretty weak if that got that reaction out of you.

[Ian Finance]

Ow. Thank you.

[Andrew Packer]

Thank you.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, Lord.

[Shannon]

Lo, I think they might have more than two boobs.

[Zach Amico]

Get out of here.

[Shannon]

It says they. They each have their own breasts. They are not sharing breasts. It says that they have two heads, two spines, individual upper body. So separate hearts, lungs, stomachs and kidneys. What they share is below the waist, which is reproductive system, bladder and intestines.

[Ian Finance]

Well, I mean, good for them. Like, like that. They're probably going to live long because they don't have to share the most vital organs.

[Andrew Packer]

They probably don't want to get pregnant. They're like, look, we already say we.

[Ian Finance]

Probably don't want to live long.

[Shannon]

No, they said they do want to have. They do want to have kids.

[Ian Finance]

Really?

[Andrew Packer]

They're like, we've got two people in here already. Let's get a third. That's. That's wild.

[Ian Finance]

Wait, do they share a belly?

[Shannon]

So it's kind of like it's split a little bit. So like they're. They have a shared uterus, they have separate stomachs and kidneys, but they share a digestive system, the intestines.

[Ian Finance]

What if one was vegan and the other wasn't?

[Zach Amico]

One likes really spicy stuff.

[Andrew Packer]

Yeah, yeah, that. That colon's putting in work.

[Zach Amico]

The other one hates hot food and like. Please stop my asshole.

[Ian Finance]

Dude, do they date different guys? I mean, you really gotta, like.

[Zach Amico]

I would assume they're both. You can't. It's not like they can fuck two different dudes. I mean, I guess they could do whatever they want.

[Ian Finance]

Dude, what if as an experiment, you and I tied our arms together for a day and our hips together and see if we could exist?

[Zach Amico]

You're gonna have to tie both my arms because I will kill myself.

[Ian Finance]

What if for one day and one day only, I climb on your back, we get suction, cupped, scotch taped together and become one man? What do you think, Zach?

[Zach Amico]

I rather be in a horse costume with you, but I could see you maybe on my chest like a baby Bjorn.

[Ian Finance]

I would do that.

[Zach Amico]

I'm fine with that. I Would do a Yoda backpack.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, that'd be great. Shannon, can you look up extra large baby bears, please?

[Zach Amico]

All right, we're gonna finish on this. You ready?

[Ian Finance]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

New Jersey man dies on Way to meet AI Chatbots.

[Ian Finance]

What?

[Zach Amico]

I saw another guy who was talking to an AI Jelly Roll today and sending him money, and he's now very upset that he's been sending not Jelly Roll money.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, God.

[Andrew Packer]

Look, some people are just not gonna catch up on this wave that's happening. They're just not gonna get there. It's just gonna.

[Zach Amico]

All right, Shannon.

[Shannon]

Okay, so 76 year old man, he was talking to a meta AI named Big Sis Billy.

[Ian Finance]

And.

[Shannon]

And the intention of this AI Chatbot initially was to be like a big sister, giving advice or whatever. Initially it was Kendall Jenner, so it used her likeness. But about a year ago, she separated herself from the project because, like, when this story first came out, they were saying that she was associated. So she isn't. So they said that this guy is 76 years old. He's married, by the way, and has a daughter. He. It says he had a. He had diminished mental capacity due to a stroke in the past. And so I think that's why this happened. So he started talking to Big Sis Billy, and then it said that he. It was flirty with him and saying that it wanted to meet up with him and it gave the address.

[Zach Amico]

I want to sit on the working side of your face.

[Shannon]

I know his. His face works. It says the address was 123 Main street, apartment 404. New York City, which seems like a generic address, but it actually exists. There's a 123 Main street in Queensland. So he left New Jersey, he packed a suitcase, he came to New York City. And then when he was in the Rutgers parking lot, he was. He fell and hit his head and he was hospitalized and pronounced brain dead. So his family pulled the plug.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, so the AI thing doesn't matter. Just he fell in a parking lot.

[Shannon]

Well, he was going to meet the AI Chatbot.

[Ian Finance]

It gave him an address going into Rutgers parking lot.

[Shannon]

I. I don't know. Is Rutgers here in Manhattan?

[Ian Finance]

Rutgers is a jerk. Jersey. It's a New Brunswick.

[Shannon]

Oh. I guess he didn't make it there. But his intention, he was trying to make it to this to meet up with the chat bot.

[Ian Finance]

Do we got a picture of what the chatbot looks like?

[Shannon]

I have a picture of what the guy looks like.

[Ian Finance]

I'm sure the guy. Let's shame him.

[Andrew Packer]

Oh, kind of just looks like a.

[Zach Amico]

Father there's no reason this needed to be a story if he killed himself because the chatbot said to. But basically, go. Died on an errand.

[Ian Finance]

Wait, go back. That guy. Is he the kid that you made cry in grade school talking about Vietnam?

[Zach Amico]

You make me so happy. I love you so much. Guys, that's Ian Finance. Please watch Being Ian with Jordan. Support him on the road. Please support Andrew Packer out on the road. And we will see you for Friday's exclusive episode here on Gas Digital. Goodbye.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

The fun's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time for him. Papa Baco. Chug it down. Just like the favorite old beast.

[Andrew Packer]

Clown.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Grab a call bear and join the crew. It's Akamiko. Morning, Sue. It's Akamiko.

[Zach Amico]

Work, work.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Morning too.