0042. Ryan Long and Raanan Hershberg

Summary

Episode Summary: The Luis and Zac Show - Episode 0042: Ryan Long and Raanan Hershberg

Release Date: March 6, 2025

In Episode 0042 of The Luis and Zac Show, hosted by Luis J. Gomez and Zac Amico of GaS Digital Network, guests Ryan Long and Raanan Hershberg join the hosts for an unfiltered and candid conversation brimming with humor, personal anecdotes, and bold opinions. This episode delves into a myriad of topics ranging from frustrating experiences with ride-sharing services to deep dives into social issues and personal relationships.

---

1. Ride-Sharing Frustrations and Competitive Brackets (00:10 - 04:25)

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about a disappointing experience in the Aspersion Caster March Madness bracket, where the hosts feel they were unjustly "robbed" by a competitor show, History Hyenas.

• Zac Amico (00:11): "Monday is my favorite day of the week until we were raped and robbed in the Aspersion Caster March Madness bracket."

• Luis J. Gomez (02:33): "I didn't eat for three days before Yanis pops. Guys. I didn't want to burp."

The hosts vehemently express their displeasure with the competing show, accusing them of unfair tactics and leveraging fake accounts to secure votes.

• Zac Amico (02:25): "It should be called Herstory Hyenas fake accounts, voted."

The conversation showcases their competitive streak and deep investment in the success of The Lewis and Zach Show within the podcasting community.

---

2. Support for Sex Workers and Stigmatization of Herpes (08:00 - 15:01)

Transitioning from competition, the discussion shifts to the portrayal and support of sex workers, sparked by a speech from an Oscars nominee, Mikey Madison, who stated, "I stand with sex workers."

• Zach Amico (09:12): "They are being raped into sex work. It is not."

The hosts critique the romanticization of sex work, emphasizing the harsh realities faced by many in the industry, including abuse and lack of agency.

• Renan Hershberg (09:26): "These women are abused by me all the time."

The conversation naturally segues into the stigma surrounding herpes, with personal stories highlighting the emotional and social challenges associated with the condition.

• Zach Amico (12:07): "Why don't you tell everyone that?"

• Renan Hershberg (15:04): "A year into our relationship. No, it was like the third date."

They discuss openness in relationships regarding sexual health and the pervasive anxiety linked to herpes diagnosis.

---

3. Oscar Speeches and Afterparty Antics (15:01 - 36:02)

The hosts pivot to Oscar-related content, critiquing speeches that support sex workers and commenting on the behavior of celebrities at afterparties.

• Zach Amico (08:31): "By the way, is it called Herstory Hyenas over Lewis and Zach show?"

• Lewis J. Gomez (25:44): "The only thing I saw, one thing on the way over was a clip where the girl who won something was just saying."

They express skepticism about the sincerity of public support for sex workers, suggesting that gestures may be more performative than genuine.

Additionally, the conversation touches on the attire and behavior of celebrities at afterparties, highlighting the blend of glamour and absurdity in such events.

• Zach Amico (15:28): "That's when all the funny magic's gonna happen to you. You're gonna miss the comment."

---

4. Pornography Preferences and the Evolution of Adult Content (36:02 - 58:00)

A significant portion of the episode delves into pornography and sexual preferences, with the hosts sharing their views on the current landscape of adult content.

• Zach Amico (50:25): "They're all doing busts in Queens."

• Renan Hershberg (72:28): "That's so funny. That number one of the."

They discuss the shift from traditional platforms like Pornhub and XVideos to OnlyFans, noting the decline in variety and accessibility of adult content. The hosts express a longing for more diverse and entertaining options, lamenting the stagnation in quality and creativity.

• Zach Amico (54:04): "It's a little bit depressing, to be honest with you."

• Ryan Long (73:43): "I'm trying to go to his website. What does he do?"

The conversation also touches on the categorization in pornography, debating the allure of different genres and the commercialization of sexual content.

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5. Celebrity Attractiveness and Societal Standards (58:00 - 77:00)

The dialogue transitions to a critical examination of celebrity attractiveness, where the hosts debate societal beauty standards and personal preferences.

• Zach Amico (62:54): "Cuz now she's an old lady. You don't like. You don't like full grown."

• Renan Hershberg (62:57): "I think we're more fat. Positive behind closed doors with porn searches."

They discuss the hypocrisy and inconsideration in how celebrities portray themselves versus public reception, often dismissing genuine attractiveness in favor of superficial traits.

• Zach Amico (65:45): "She's clearly like hot's not the word. She's pretty."

• Renan Hershberg (67:52): "Yeah, but someone who's picking ugly pictures of."

The hosts critique the industry's focus on certain body types, arguing for a broader and more inclusive understanding of beauty.

---

6. Closing Remarks and Live Event Promotions (77:00 - 78:40)

As the episode nears its end, the hosts engage in a mix of humorous banter and promote their upcoming live events, reflecting their commitment to expanding their comedic reach.

• Zach Amico (78:37): "Let's get real."

• Ryan Long (78:38): "Shut the fuck up."

They encourage listeners to support their shows and participate in future events, maintaining the energetic and unapologetic tone characteristic of The Luis and Zac Show.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Zach Amico (00:11): "Monday is my favorite day of the week until we were raped and robbed in the Aspersion Caster March Madness bracket."

• Zach Amico (09:12): "They are being raped into sex work. It is not."

• Renan Hershberg (15:04): "A year into our relationship. No, it was like the third date."

• Zach Amico (50:25): "They're all doing busts in Queens."

• Renan Hershberg (72:28): "That's so funny. That number one of the."

• Zach Amico (62:54): "Cuz now she's an old lady. You don't like. You don't like full grown."

• Renan Hershberg (67:52): "Yeah, but someone who's picking ugly pictures of."

---

Conclusion

Episode 0042 of The Luis and Zac Show offers a rollercoaster of candid discussions, blending humor with sharp critiques of societal norms and personal experiences. The hosts, alongside their guests Ryan Long and Renan Hershberg, navigate through topics that are both controversial and relatable, all while maintaining the show's signature unapologetic and fearless tone. Whether lamenting ride-sharing frustrations or dissecting the complexities of sexual relationships and societal expectations, this episode is a testament to the show's commitment to pushing boundaries and sparking meaningful conversations.

Transcript

[Ryan Long]

Fill her up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[Zach Amico]

You know what time it is?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko, red dot, head shot. Eat a sniper.

[Zach Amico]

The Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it came to attack, spilling crack on the track.

[Zach Amico]

What's up, baby boys? It's your boy, Lewishe Gomez. I am the king of things. Porter can rattlesnake. The point guard of podcasting. He is the international superstar, Zach Amico.

[Ryan Long]

Hey, buddy. Happy Monday.

[Zach Amico]

Happy? Well, is it a happy Monday?

[Ryan Long]

I thought Monday's your favorite day of the week.

[Zach Amico]

Monday is my favorite day of the week until we were raped and robbed in the Aspersion Caster March Madness bracket.

[Ryan Long]

I don't want to talk about that.

[Zach Amico]

I'm pissed.

[Ryan Long]

I'm furious about it. Is that even still a show?

[Zach Amico]

History, heritage.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah, I didn't. I thought they stopped.

[Zach Amico]

First of all, two things. Number one, those guys stink. Let me point that out, ok? Giannis and Chris. Losers. Actual losers. We got robbed. We were raped. We were bent the over in this fucking thing. Who the fuck likes the History Hyenas over the Lewis and Zach show? What type of is that? Show your face, you. Oh, I dare. If somebody comes up behind a show and says, I voted for History Hyenas over Lewis and Zach show, Headbutt, Bite their nose off, punch them in the balls. Oh, I'm mad. I'm not happy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

What the are you talking about?

[Zach Amico]

Dude?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, you don't mind if I eat on Mike, right?

[Zach Amico]

Come on, dude, crinkle into the mic, please. Don't crinkle.

[Ryan Long]

Don't eat this wouldn't do that on History Hyenas.

[Zach Amico]

I bet this is why it should be called her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I voted for you.

[Zach Amico]

It should be called Herstory Hyenas fake accounts, voted.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was all in on Lewis.

[Zach Amico]

This is why we didn't get the vote on the Aspersion Caster March Comedy Madness bracket. It's because you eat on microphone on our show, Ryan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't eat for three days before Yanis pops. Guys. I didn't want to burp.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, aspersion's actually in the chat right now. That's ridiculous. Look, here's the thing. I could have retweeted it. I refute, which I think the fucking. That's how Matt and Shane got kicked out of the first round.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you're self promoting that.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that's. Let me just say this, okay? That is the faggotiest shit on the planet. Who. Who beat Matt and Shane. Because Matt. Shane win it every year.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've been following this the same way.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You have got to be honest.

[Zach Amico]

It's always.

[Ryan Long]

We don't watch sports.

[Zach Amico]

It's always between Legion of skanks and Matt and Shane. Every year. Matt and Shane. I just said every year. This year they got it. It was son of a Boy, dad, which I've never even heard of this show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't know Son of a boy died. Barstool.

[Zach Amico]

Barstool. Oh, it's a barstool. A little sass. Who.

[Renan Hirschberg]

How did Joe.

[Zach Amico]

Joe Renan. Was it even in the fucking top four 32 bracket? I guess it's fair.

[Renan Hirschberg]

We haven't done one.

[Zach Amico]

I am pissed. Aspersion. Can we get a fucking recount? They only beat us by like 2%, by the way.

[Ryan Long]

Okay, but it's still disgusting.

[Zach Amico]

It's disgusting.

[Ryan Long]

We should have. We should have sweet. We should have destroyed them.

[Zach Amico]

We should have just. We should have been like faggots. Like Little Sass and fucking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And you've been getting new studio, making upgrades. Big guess. No one seems to notice to give a shit.

[Zach Amico]

What did the little Sass and folks retweet the poll? Is that why they beat Matt and Jane? I don't know if Ryan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know if Lil Sass is following that type of stuff. And the other guy's like a battle rapper that does that podcast.

[Zach Amico]

He must have. There's no way that they beat Matt and Shane. Everyone loves Matt and she. First of all, if you look at.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The poll, those Barstool guys, they do go hard. They ride hard.

[Zach Amico]

It's like War mode beats Joe Rogan. It's like these are fucking. These are like hardcore podcast fans. These aren't like mainstream people. You know what I'm saying? Kill Tony. I think lost in the first round to somebody, it's like. No, I mean these are big.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They picked a funnier option.

[Ryan Long]

Tony B. Fight.

[Zach Amico]

Tony B. Fight.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

As they should have. No offense to Ler.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Call him Tyrone.

[Ryan Long]

Tony does have a update on his phone every time Tony and Cocker is in it now.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm insulted. I wasn't in it now. I thought these were like top. Like a top podcast.

[Zach Amico]

No. I don't know. Look, I don't. I don't want to start any beef between Cockfight and Lewis and Zach show. Yeah, because they don't want this heat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They don't want smoke like that.

[Zach Amico]

They don't want smoke like that. But they're a brand new show podcast.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't You. I honestly don't. I didn't. I'd love to say that I've been following this, but.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's the Retard Choice Awards. Let's see.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. Boys, cast is there.

[Zach Amico]

Did Boycast.

[Ryan Long]

You lost the Rogan?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, we lost Rogan.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's pretty embarrassing.

[Zach Amico]

They hate Rogan. How much do they hate you?

[Renan Hirschberg]

That is really embarrassing.

[Zach Amico]

That is embarrassing that you lost the world. Are we done with or did we. Are we on to the next round already?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy. Son of a boy. Dad beat. We might be drunk. Yeah. I mean, they must be retweeting their shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We would have been up against you guys, too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Luckily, Rogan took this time.

[Zach Amico]

Dylan beat the regs. That's also psychotic. I want to point that out.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Tim Dillon beating the regs is psychotic.

[Zach Amico]

Tim. Dylan beating the regs is psychotic. I love Tim. Tim's a close friend.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, for a second, I forgot. You're on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is this your boy? Like, do you guys know these guys that make this poll?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know them. I mean, I follow aspersion. Caster. I think I've met a spurgeon caster at Skankfest. Possibly. Have I.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, next year sounds great. I got a podcast put on next year. Your favorite movie sucks. I've done seven episodes. They're still in the can, but, you know, I want to be on this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I don't think you're gonna make it. We're not. These are the top 32 podcasts in the world. Oh, I'm pissed. Amy Winehouse. Baby daddy says Lewis is delusional. Fuck you, Amy Winehouse. You. Not today.

[Ryan Long]

Not delu.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I thought you were talking about sports. Actual sports at first. And I'm like, what sport? Is Zach upset?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I thought you were doing an ad read. If I'm being honest, I was, like, right into it.

[Ryan Long]

Huh.

[Zach Amico]

Amy Winhouse. Baby daddy says, louis, you haven't had a funny pod moment in five years. I mean, that is just objectively false.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But, I mean, five years.

[Ryan Long]

You've been sitting here for five years waiting for something funny. Then remember last.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Remember a couple times ago, we had figs and he was.

[Zach Amico]

Figs was crushing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do a bump. No, he tried to do a bump.

[Zach Amico]

That was only two years years ago.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I wonder you should ask what was the funny moment they were talking about?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, what was the funny moment five years ago?

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm impressed by this.

[Zach Amico]

I think there's lots. I mean, tons of funny moments. Story wars just started. That's the funniest New podcast. It's the new kid on the block. People love Story Wars.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I liked your Ian gay test. I thought that was funny.

[Zach Amico]

Ian's gay test was fucking hilarious. I mean, what are we talking about here? I'm fucking crushing it out here. You know what, Amy Winehouse, baby daddy, you timed out for eight minutes. Eight minutes for too much.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's when all the funny magic's gonna happen to you. You're gonna miss the comment.

[Zach Amico]

You're gonna miss it, dude. Well, he gets to watch it. He doesn't get to comment.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I said, that's it.

[Zach Amico]

Well. Well, you know, appreciate the. Here we go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the way you didn't win the podcast bracket.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. He says, light work. Make it 16 minutes, Shannon. How about that? Don't tell me. Light work, you piece of shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's gonna come out hard. Fresh out, though. I feel pumped when they're fresh out of a band.

[Zach Amico]

I'm telling you, I was fucking. I was. Jen. I didn't. I looked at it. I saw we were beating his hyenas by, like, four points, and I was like, all right. That all four of my podcasts went on to the next round. And. And by the way, I think I was the only person with four podcasts in the entire thing. You're right, Amy Winehouse, baby daddy. I'm not the greatest podcast.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now you're telling me. It's like. It's like a skanks fan. No, it's not.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he is a fan of ours.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm too gay for this podcast. I thought we're gonna talk about the Oscars today.

[Zach Amico]

We are. We are gonna talk about the Oscar. The ground I watched. I watch it after all Oscar podcast folks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The only. The only thing I saw, one thing on the way over was a clip where the girl who won something was just saying. She goes, I want to give a shout out to sex work. And I just thought it'd be so funny as a dude going up there and be like, also shout out to prostitutes. You know.

[Zach Amico]

Fucking whores who shouted out sex workers.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Mikey Madison, the Nora winner. She was like, I stand with sex workers.

[Zach Amico]

Why do we stand with sex workers?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I just wanted to show them on your Oscar speech.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, she was playing a prostitute, so she wanted to make.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I imagine that was what's happening, but it's funnier if she just loves prostitutes. It had nothing to do with, like, your. The best.

[Zach Amico]

Can we stop standing with sex workers? These are poor, abused women. This is not. It's not a good fucking thing. It's not to be a hooker. It is not a good thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're going through it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. They're not having the best lives.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's a couple of. There's probably like 1 in 100. That's like a businesswoman. And the.

[Zach Amico]

You know, it's always stupid bitches.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That are being like, yeah, sex workers are great. Like these dumb feminists that don't actually fucking understand what sex work is. Also, these women are abused by their uncles and dads and older brothers, and then they. They're raped into sex work. It is not.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Which is like, these women are abused by me all the time. They have a really hard.

[Zach Amico]

It is not the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I pay a little more for it, but, yes, you would not wish.

[Zach Amico]

This upon your worst fucking enemy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, I don't think they're saying they're crushing it. I think they're. They're not like these fudgeing. They're like, I stand with them.

[Ryan Long]

You know how you.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You stand with a group.

[Ryan Long]

She's kind of saying, don't murder them.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, don't murder them. I stand with.

[Zach Amico]

I can't get behind that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I think it's more like it's a normal girl being like, you know, it's actually pretty normal what they do. So me sucking a couple of dicks in college is nothing.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Right. Right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's normal. Then I'm even more than normal. I think that's where it's gone from, her acceptance.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She's like, I have someone in Hollywood who's had to prostitute.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I banged nine of the bartenders at my work. Yeah, okay, well, being a prostitute's normal.

[Zach Amico]

Let me see this chick. This is very surreal. Forgive me. I. I'm nervous.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm going to read off of it. And you know what? Then if you asked her for. If you asked her to give you a blowjob for 20 bucks, she'd be off. I would imagine you're like, don't you stand.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I thought you stood.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's about it.

[Zach Amico]

Get on your knees with sex workers right now.

[Ryan Long]

If she really wanted to stay in with sex workers, she would have shoved that Oscar right up her.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Exactly.

[Ryan Long]

She would have lifted up that beautiful dress and sat down on that Oscar and given the speech.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's hold it off to the highest.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's weird because the people who support sex workers are. Are men who have sex with prostitutes.

[Zach Amico]

Not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's actually support.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't think she, like, is like, supporting that, but she stands with them. But really the support is from. You know, agreed People like Lewis are.

[Zach Amico]

Like, you know, let me just say something, okay? You look like you bang prostitutes. I'm a fucking hot dude. I got muscles.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You should be paying me, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Hackles with prostitutes would be a better podcast. Should be on the top 32. That's right.

[Ryan Long]

That's actually his Native American.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, you should do a Shark Tank where it's you with the three prostitutes. Like Shark Tank.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Straggling the price.

[Zach Amico]

Listen to me. Don't ever been with the frost.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I had sex with a homeless woman once, but I've never been.

[Zach Amico]

You've never been with a prostitute? Have you been with a prostitute?

[Ryan Long]

Right, probably. But was she homeless or was she like nomadic?

[Zach Amico]

Probably?

[Renan Hirschberg]

She was. She was a rambler.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think, you think you've never dated a girl that was like Loki and Escort?

[Zach Amico]

I did date a girl that was. No, I mean Loki. I saw her on High Key. She was, you know, she was. She was definitely a prostitute. I didn't date her. We just banged a few times. It was the girl that I told you that cut herself.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

When I went to her place.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, I've had a happy ending massage. I guess that's prostitution.

[Zach Amico]

That is prost.

[Ryan Long]

It wasn't low key, but her was Thor.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, I think I've had happy end.

[Zach Amico]

I knew you were looking for a low key joke. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, you know, who hasn't been with a. Who hasn't been with a little bit of a hookup?

[Ryan Long]

I. I've definitely been with at least three girls who've been arrested for prostitution.

[Zach Amico]

Arrested. They're so. They're fucking bad at it.

[Ryan Long]

They were terrible. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Please buzzed it, I think.

[Zach Amico]

Why?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is my girlfriend. They're like, oh, sure.

[Ryan Long]

One hooker who I saw a couple times and twice I've definitely hooked up girls who are dominatrixes who have been arrested for prostitution in like. They were a cop. God, I'm in a sting and a cop. Like, they answered a call for a dominatrix and then got offered more money to like, suck his dick and then, you know. Freeze, bitch.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, that's absolutely.

[Ryan Long]

Oh, yeah. That's really. I'm sure it's a terrible day.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I can't see you only had rub and tugs before.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're always doing busts in Queens.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't do. Have. I. I'm afraid to have sex with. With anyone but a prostitute. I. I was in Amsterdam. I did the hand jobs a couple times.

[Zach Amico]

Hand jobs in Amsterdam? That's when you bang the hookies.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, you can they have STDs there too, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Stop it. They do not.

[Renan Hirschberg]

They don't.

[Zach Amico]

Is that what you're worried about is an std? You put a rubber on doggy, you're more likely to get an STD from your fucking. Just some chick you're banging. Right.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Also, my. My fiance has herpes, but I'm still.

[Zach Amico]

Your fiance has herpes? Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's wild. Yeah. She wants you telling everyone that.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, she. She. She's okay with.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, she's. She.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She used to be a stand up. She's talking.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, really? She used to be a stand up. That's wild.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You have less chance of having sex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

With someone revealed to know.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You have less chance of having sex with someone. Less chance of getting herpes. If you have sex with someone who knows they have herpes. At least. At least that's how she explained it to me.

[Zach Amico]

Hold on. Timeout. Wait a minute now. Your fiance has herpes?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that. I mean, that's a wild thing. And you don't. You don't.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't have it. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have seen there's an influx of comics saying that they have herpes.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Herpes is overly stick. I stand with herpes people. It's overly stigmatized.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah, It's a line outside of the frequent.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I also agree with that. I feel like it is overly stigmatized. I've heard people talk about it that I've heard because they're like. It's like a fucking skin thing once in a while. Yeah. Who cares?

[Renan Hirschberg]

You got it on your lips.

[Zach Amico]

You got a dick. What's the. You know?

[Renan Hirschberg]

And then the people on the lips, they don't get ostracized, but they have herpes too.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. I've never had a cold story in my entire life. And if I did, I would. Would actually kill myself on the face.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Not even the genitals.

[Ryan Long]

Everyone could see a real bright Michael.

[Zach Amico]

Rappaport doggy that it would make me. I mean, I'm. I've big, beautiful, sexy lips. If I had a. Because sometimes I'll get like a little. I feel like a little cut on the inside of my lip or I box a lot. Yeah. So I convince myself that I have herpes. And I get. I sit there, really.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I get ingrown hair downstairs. You're like, well, that's that for me.

[Zach Amico]

I go down like a rabbit hole of, like, anxiety where I just feel like, oh, my God, dude. It. Like, I don't. I don't know why. Like, I have so many friends who have herpes.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's incurable. That, that, that makes. That gives it a sense of fear.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what it is.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Anything that you just can't get rid of it just.

[Zach Amico]

So how did your girl tell you she had herpes?

[Renan Hirschberg]

She just told me on like, you know, on the.

[Ryan Long]

A year.

[Renan Hirschberg]

A year. A year into our relationship. No, it was like the third date.

[Zach Amico]

Third date?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And you hadn't had sex yet? No. And she was like, that would have.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Been bad if we had sex. And she was like, by the way, I have.

[Zach Amico]

Perfect.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't care. She wrote it in lipstick on the mirror bath in the bathroom mirror.

[Ryan Long]

Welcome to the wonderful world.

[Zach Amico]

Welcome to the world of herpes.

[Ryan Long]

Welcome to the horrible world of herpes.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank Small Batch Cigar for supporting today's show. We love Small Batch Cigar here on the Lewis and Zach show. Incredible service. If you guys like smoking cigars or if you just want to have some nice cigars in the house for your family and friends when they come over. Small Batch has you covered. Genuinely incredible selection. Easy to use website. They have all the cigars you know, and love and a lot of cigars that you don't know. It's a great, great service and really, really love them.

[Ryan Long]

On top of all that, you get free shipping on every order. And almost every order arrives within two to three days. Within the continental United States. They come with the Boveda pack, so everything's super fresh. In fact, they have the most thorough packaging in the industry and you earn 5% reward points instantly. And Lou, we have a deal for them.

[Zach Amico]

Great deal. Go to smallbatch cigar.com and use the promo code GAS10. When you check out, you're going to get 10% off your order plus 5% rewards points. Do that right now. Small batch cigar.com. great website. Promo code GAS10 for 10% off and 5% rewards points. All right, where were we, by the way?

[Ryan Long]

I got a massage this weekend.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Happy rubbing.

[Zach Amico]

Tug.

[Ryan Long]

No, I knew it was not a rub and tug because they had clear glass and it wasn't locked.

[Zach Amico]

It was at a deli.

[Ryan Long]

Wait, what door? It wasn't locked, so I knew it wasn't.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Right, right, right.

[Ryan Long]

But it was all chicks in the front.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Chinks.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

And they all had on like, not scrubs, but like what, like Puerto Rican nurses wear.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

You know what I mean?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

Only Puerto Rican nurses and massage therapists.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

Like sweats.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But they're not giving you a hand job with that yeah, but literally there.

[Ryan Long]

Were signs all over that you said no hanky panky.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Really? And no hanky panky. No hanky panky.

[Ryan Long]

And they said leave underpant on.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. She said, turn yourself around.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You can't even be naked.

[Ryan Long]

That's really funny. I'm sorry. And so, dude, they fucking pulled the Texas switch on me.

[Renan Hirschberg]

What's that mean?

[Ryan Long]

They had a lady in the front? No, he walked me all the way to the back. You had a dude clothes off? I sit on the back, I pay for an hour. It was a guy and then I take my clothes off and a fucking little Chinese dude came in and I couldn't. He didn't fucking speak English.

[Zach Amico]

And he was too. You can say no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think I would have just said no.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I gotta tell you, I'll say it.

[Renan Hirschberg]

He was like, remember, no hanky panky. I don't want you to ask, I gotta tell you.

[Ryan Long]

Well, that was his name. I gotta tell you. Guy do his business.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure. If you're there for the full.

[Ryan Long]

My question was when you get a regular massage, how much of it is ass based?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cuz this guy, he was going hard.

[Ryan Long]

Really went hard on my.

[Zach Amico]

Can I be fair? Can I be fair to Mr. Hanky?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That'll take a while.

[Zach Amico]

Your, your ass and back are.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who knows, half hour.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, who knows where is what.

[Ryan Long]

My wife said the same thing.

[Renan Hirschberg]

If it take an hour to cover your all's asses, dude, it was, it.

[Ryan Long]

Was like he was trying to get farts out of me. The same way you get toothpaste out of the end of the tube he was holding. He dug so far, like he dug his thumb so far into my ass. He was hitting balls.

[Zach Amico]

I, I recently. I told you I had a massage at that he's still in 13th Street. And they were, they went so ass heavy. I might. Dude, I want to go there today. Maybe they were fucking so good. Where was this place at Find the Hulk in Brooklyn.

[Ryan Long]

I will say one thing that was weird. He had little tight black jeans on. And every time he was standing towards my head and rubbing my back, his package would just go right on the top of my head.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jeans is jeans. Like bizarre uniform.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I just have this image of him just massaging your ass. Go. Remember, no hanky pankit. No hanky pancake kneading your ass.

[Ryan Long]

He really got into my ass, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I've had a massage by a guy before. A couple times. Not very often. Well, they're typically, they're stronger. Yeah, right.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I had one. It's painful.

[Zach Amico]

I had one in Jamaica one time we ordered massage therapist to the villa and it was. It was one massage therapist. And it showed up and it was a dude. And it was like, that's all Jamaican dude would be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Especially not want to do that.

[Zach Amico]

Wasn't Jamaican guy. American expat.

[Renan Hirschberg]

American expat.

[Zach Amico]

Like just a older dude who was like, yeah, I'm gonna massage you some Jamaican body man.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You went to Jamaica to get some old white dudes?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, an old white guy massaged me on the beach in Jamaica, which was pretty sweet. And then. Then maybe one other time I really needed a massage and they only had a dude available. And I was like, one time.

[Renan Hirschberg]

This is really gross. But one time when I was younger, I got a happy ending massage from a dude. From. No, from a woman. And like before, I was just naked on there and I got so turned on, I just came while. Before she gave it to me. Yeah. And I just sat in my come for like 40 minutes while she was.

[Zach Amico]

Giving me a massage.

[Ryan Long]

Just touching you?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, I just. I was just. Yeah, pre. Like, I just. I got a happy beginning sort of jizzing.

[Zach Amico]

I've never. I've never had like a jizzing without it being like.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I never had either, but it was just so intense. Just being naked and having it was just. I guess she was pushing me a little against it.

[Zach Amico]

I never even had a little push against when I was young. When I was younger, I never even had like wet dreams where I would come in my underwear and wake up to like a. Oh, really?

[Renan Hirschberg]

I hear that all the time. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I think the guys can. Like, I did. I need to be genuinely stimulated.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You get it. You're a real man. You gotta just come without hands.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

9, 10 hours minimum.

[Zach Amico]

They have to go for a while.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Before the girl came a few times.

[Zach Amico]

When I've gotten happy endings, it's like usually, like at one point they have to change arms. They have to go, you calm. Come on, let's go. When and when they get angry, I start to go, all right, now I'm getting you.

[Renan Hirschberg]

They love me because I'm so quick with them. They get me out of there, but I get my.

[Zach Amico]

I get my money worth.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, it's true.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I've had times where they've been like, you jerk yourself off. And I'm like, no, are you out of your mind?

[Renan Hirschberg]

I have. I have wondered that because most guys do.

[Ryan Long]

I get the money then too.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Because. Because most guys, when they get a happy ending, they do come really quickly. And I always Wonder, like, what if a guy just, like, takes and you're.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, how do you know?

[Renan Hirschberg]

I watch, you know, I study.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, I, I, I will usually take typically a pretty long time when I'm with the, When I'm with. Even just having sex or just with.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A chick, I can drag out sex, but I have to use all my techniques.

[Zach Amico]

I don't, I don't drag it out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I could drop down 30 seconds if I felt like it.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But yeah, yeah, yeah. My default setting is coming early, but I could, I could go beyond that, but that is my default.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You have to do all this stuff.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm definitely fighting against that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Exactly.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You know, like, I'm not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, healthy body.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm fighting against, you know, it's not.

[Zach Amico]

About, you know, I don't think it's about being more of a man. I just, I need to be stimulated more than just a quick. I wish. I wish it was quick. I don't want to be there for.

[Ryan Long]

Have you tried? I miss coming quick so fast.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

I can't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It.

[Zach Amico]

It.

[Ryan Long]

It's a process.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah. With Zoloft. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

It's really.

[Zach Amico]

Zoloft sounds like a Russian masseuse. I am Zorloft. I will make you come very quickly. Do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My old move when I was, like, younger was just like, start doing stuff. Bust super early, not let her know, and then go again.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I used to be like, when I.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Was like, how you're pretending that strategy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's my main move, dude.

[Renan Hirschberg]

My main move. I'd come early and try to hide her, realizing it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Actually pretty.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I didn't call it a move.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How is that not a move?

[Renan Hirschberg]

You can't control coming early, but if.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They don't know it happened.

[Renan Hirschberg]

My main move is coming right away and crying. That was my, that was my big move.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, but it becomes. But then it becomes a battle of, can I come as quickly as possible, get it over with, put it in a sock. They don't even know what happened.

[Renan Hirschberg]

First time I had sex, I came.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're none the wiser.

[Renan Hirschberg]

First time I had sex, I came immediately. And then I hid it from her. I was like, oh, my condom slipped off. And then I tried to have sex again. I couldn't get it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know the move.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, I know the move. And I couldn't get it up. I was like, I've experienced both types of erectile dysfunction in my first time having sex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But then I thought of someone else and I was able to come.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But anyway, let's talk about how you can't come for another 14 hours.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, Smokey balls, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I've been trying to come this whole show. 22 minutes into the show, nothing's happening. Hard. Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

So early comers, people take a while.

[Ryan Long]

I used to be a real quick comer. I really miss medium now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's just I had to do. I have to do all this stuff. I have to think about things.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, I meet him too.

[Zach Amico]

What is your go to fantasy? Because I don't think about other women. But I have some pretty sick fantasies.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Like in my head it just sounds so gay. I don't think about other women.

[Ryan Long]

He doesn't mean sick like depraved. He means like him.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Like snowboarding.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I jumped out of a plane of a parachute. I was drinking a Red Bull on the way down.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, I like, I'll sometimes think about like my fantasy will be that she's like, I work for the military. Usually. Usually the Nazi military. And that we're creating Nazi super children. I swear to God, it's a genuine fantasy mind that happens while I'm this what I should with my ex girlfriend. I used to have this fantasy because she was very blonde and like she was just really built. She was like fucking. Her body was righteous. And I would. And I would fantasize that she was like, they sent her in to be impregnated by me because we were creating Nazi super soldiers. And that's where I would get into the. I swear to God. And that my wife was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why are you speaking in German?

[Zach Amico]

My wife was listening downstairs. I had a whole other wife. So real fantasy that I would play out in my head.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That's interesting because I To not come early, would think about the Holocaust.

[Zach Amico]

Holocaust, really?

[Renan Hirschberg]

But then every time I had sex with a woman, it would be kind of sad because I'd have to think about the Holocaust every time. So anytime a woman is like, you want to go home? I'm like, God, this is gonna be a sad.

[Ryan Long]

Oh, she has to put on a red raincoat at the end.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, sorry.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's okay. Put your headphones on.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Can I just so you can hear.

[Zach Amico]

Yourself not talking into the mic.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'll. I'll be good. I mean, I'll.

[Zach Amico]

I'll be good.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'll keep it in.

[Zach Amico]

You know, that is one of my go to fantasies.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A wild one.

[Zach Amico]

It's a wild one. Yeah. Yeah. But very often it's that I. Even when I was with my girlfriend, that I was married to another woman who was listening like with the bed's creepy. My wife was making me breakfast while she's listening to me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is it her or is different girl in the thing?

[Zach Amico]

No, it's just a different random wife.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I like how you call it. Like I in the dream, I'd work for the Nazi military. As if it's not just the Nazis. Like we all have different military.

[Zach Amico]

There's Nazis, There's Nazis that are bakers. There's Nazis.

[Ryan Long]

I go with bakers.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'd go with the Nazi military.

[Zach Amico]

That was one of sort of one of my go tos. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was she Jewish?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, no. She was just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I could add it some spice.

[Zach Amico]

She was blonde, fucking green eyes.

[Ryan Long]

She was the Aryan dream.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she was. Well, she's after. She was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And apparently you were also.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't know what.

[Zach Amico]

I was having an Aryan dream.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't know what the Nazis thought about Puerto Ricans. I mean I assume they weren't fans, but you don't really hear them talk.

[Zach Amico]

About they don't love Puerto Ricans.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, I guess they're kind of. They don't like the darker skin in general.

[Zach Amico]

No. I would assume that we'd be just considered under the sort of the black.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is funny though. In your sex fantasy, you're like, well, I'm like a blonde hair, blue eyes.

[Zach Amico]

But then I was specifically a high.

[Ryan Long]

Up guy from Doom.

[Zach Amico]

Not only. Not only just a Nazi fantasy, you're a different guy. But I'm a high up Nazi general. Like we're like. They were. They needed my Nazi sperm. This is. This is sick. Oh yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You've been crazy.

[Ryan Long]

You've been selected. Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And they would send this girl in and I had to impregnate her and that would just give me going send warm.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Interesting sickness.

[Zach Amico]

I'll admit that I'm pretty twisted.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've never heard of the fantasy where you're a different guy in it.

[Zach Amico]

I wasn't a different guy. I was me. But you know, I'm white. You but a Nazi in Nazi Germany in the 30s, you know.

[Renan Hirschberg]

So were you like whiter? Would it like you?

[Zach Amico]

But no, I'm still just me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You were pulling one over there. Like, this is the perfect white man.

[Zach Amico]

You're like, I was so good at being a Nazi that they accepted me.

[Renan Hirschberg]

They were like, we'll make an exception for you. We don't usually have Puerto Ricans as our area.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, I sent you a video of this guy. This guy posted this on Twitter and it's kind of funny as I'm watching it I'm going like, people, somebody tagged me, and they were like, dude, I thought only Louis J. Gomez gets into these situations. But as I'm watching it, I'm going like, all right, the Uber driver is wrong, but the guy's also kind of retarded and wrong for the way that he's dealing with it.

[Ryan Long]

So all your situations.

[Zach Amico]

But I want to know what you guys. Because this guy posted, he was like, am I the asshole here?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And you're sort of like, this, the fellow brethren and getting an Uber confrontation.

[Zach Amico]

Getting to an Uber confrontation. But I will say that this guy, he handled. He handles it wrong in his own way. And I've gotten way better with Uber drivers. First of all, I only really take Ubers to the airport, and I no longer try to get to the airport exactly an hour before the flight. I've learned my lesson. It used to be exactly an hour before pre check.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're fine.

[Zach Amico]

I don't have pre check, but I have clear.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, you got to get both, man.

[Zach Amico]

I know. I. My. My ADHD will never allow me to go sign up for.

[Renan Hirschberg]

So you're still taking your shoes off like a peasant.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The mount you travel.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's take a moment and thank Yo Kratom for supporting today's show. We love Yo Kratom here at the Lewis and Zach Show. Longtime supporters of all the shows here at Gas, Digital and Skank Fest. If you guys are in the market for Kratom and you're over 21 years old, you got to get your kratom from yo kratom.com.

[Ryan Long]

That'S right, stop. Go to bodega's gas stations or smoke shops and get a little bit of Kratom at a time. And you'd barely even know what it is, because yocratum.com has the best stream, the best customer service, and the best deal in the world. To kratom. That's right. 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your gosh darn door.

[Zach Amico]

No promo code needed. They already got the best deal in Kratom in the world. So once again, if you're over 21, you're in the market for Kratom already. Grab it from yo kratom.com. home of the 60 kilo. All right, let's get back into it. So let's. Let's see. So actually pull up his. Pull up his tweet for Shannon and see what he says. So he says, am I wrong here? My Uber driver went the wrong direction on the way to the Airport and had to turn around, and now he stopped to get gas. I was already cutting it super close because it took 15 minutes for him to arrive to pick me up, but now I'm 100. Missing my flight.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'd lose it if he'd stop to get gas.

[Zach Amico]

You guys, please weigh in on this. And then at Uber support. But sometimes you see something and you. You. This is such Karen behavior. You see it and I go, like, I would. I would be this guy. But as I'm watching, I'm going, like, maybe I shouldn't be guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wouldn't post it online because there's a few things.

[Zach Amico]

There's. Number one, he's tagging Uber support. Filming the guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'd never do that.

[Zach Amico]

You're. You're ordering your Uber late. And also, you don't know how much of this is true. Like, did he really make a wrong turn? Did he really take 15 minutes to get there? There's a lot of things here that I'm going like. I feel like you're exaggerating a little bit. Stopping to get gas is absolutely wild, but when you see him having the conversation with the guy, you're going to see exactly why he's crazy as well.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just period. Anytime. Taking your phone out and be like, I'm gonna make you feel. Yeah. Anyone see what your boss thinks of this? It's not great behavior.

[Zach Amico]

Go ahead.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna miss my flight. What he said, sir, I'm gonna miss my flight.

[Renan Hirschberg]

He's filming it like cops.

[Zach Amico]

He doesn't speak a word of English. Momento.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I'm going to miss my flight.

[Zach Amico]

He doesn't understand you.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I hate this guy in the back. Why didn't you get it before you picked me up? What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would be equally losing it. But it wouldn't be long.

[Ryan Long]

I wouldn't live on filming. Yes.

[Zach Amico]

So. So stopping for gas in general is pretty crazy. Not having the car full on an.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Airport trip because, you know, times of the essence.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Do other. He's like, I got to pick up my kids. Hold on a second. I got my kids.

[Zach Amico]

Well, he's Dominican. He's not picking up his kids. The. But I don't know what it is about this as I'm watching it. Maybe it's just because I could see myself being the guy. I'm seeing myself in the guy's position in the back, and I'm going, like, fuck, we can't be this way, bro. We can't be filming Uber drivers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do you film them?

[Zach Amico]

No, I've never filmed an Uber driver.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't do that.

[Zach Amico]

I filmed the guy in the. The gym that was playing fetch with his dog. That made me furious.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Why are we all just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fetch with his dog in the gym's nuts.

[Zach Amico]

It was psychotic. Yes. It was the craziest thing I've ever dealt with. And the amount of hate that I got online for doing this. Like, dude, who cares? Dogs belong everywhere. You're like, you doggo. I hate dog people anyway.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, why are we all snitches?

[Ryan Long]

It's just.

[Zach Amico]

It's insane.

[Renan Hirschberg]

The fact that he's just filming this pudding. Like, it's just like. It's like we all work for those undercover companies that get people fired. It's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, my fantasy is more to be like, Lewis. Like, when I see a guy and I'm on the plane and the guy's just doing full conversation for like half an hour and everyone's kind of looking at each other like this. My fantasy is to. One of these days I'm gonna say something.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, having. Having a conversation on a flight, like, if somebody's being too loud, I'll be like, excuse me. Keep it down a little bit. There was a guy that I went to my son's play this weekend. Crushed it. James is awesome. Go, James. Yeah, he was in Little. Little Nemo. Finding Nemo. Oh, the musical in his middle school production. So sweet. Such a good kid. Also, I like him being a little bit of a dweeb. He's hanging out with all these nerd ass kids. They're all, you know, they're good kids.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Lewis, try to process his kids. A theater kid?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, he's like, it's funny. And also, theater kids, they do get.

[Zach Amico]

And I was. I was a theater.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, were you?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. And no. It's. But it's awesome. It's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is just a Breaking into the theater, watching three movies.

[Zach Amico]

No, I would rather him be a nerd than be like a. Yeah, for sure. And all these girls got crushed on him, dude. I mean, the amount of, like, he's got like four or five girls right now that have crushes on him. It's like, it's. He's really a little pimp because.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you don't have to rationalize it.

[Zach Amico]

Theater kids are. Theater kids are. Theater kids are dweebs. And my son is kind of a dweeb too. He's a straight A student. Like, very nice. Like, just a really good kid.

[Renan Hirschberg]

These are all good things. And you're like, it's really hard for Me, he's got good grades. She's the arts. But, you know, it's, it's, it's. I think it's ultimately for the best. Well, it's ultimately for the best in.

[Zach Amico]

Middle school that are like things you get beat up for, but once you're.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Older have changed, Louis.

[Zach Amico]

I think they really have changed. I think people like good kids now. And also, he also doesn't grow up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In the hood, right?

[Zach Amico]

This is like, no, no, no, he's not. But it's also. You still see the kids after school that come out that are all like the cool kids. James just isn't that kid.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's like smoking a cigarette with him.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, James don't crap my style. But no, he, yeah, he did fucking so good in the play. And you just see it's like a community that they all like fucking. They all love each other. They went out afterwards, they went to like the. This little prominent area. And James didn't even want to go. He's like, I'm just gonna go home, dad. And I forced him. I was like, james, go out with these kids. Hang out, like, be a fucking. Have a social life.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna give you two rubbers if you come home with either.

[Zach Amico]

So.

[Ryan Long]

But for you, one for the other guy.

[Zach Amico]

Come on, dude, that. It's my son.

[Ryan Long]

That's a sound he makes.

[Zach Amico]

Don't be a talking about. Talking about my 12 year old son.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Who was he playing?

[Zach Amico]

Which. Which part he played? He. He was in the six race.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nemo.

[Zach Amico]

He had. No, he wasn't Nemo. He had like, like, he was a. There was like a shark trio. So there's Bruce and his two, like side guys. I don't know. You've seen Finding Nemo. The musical.

[Renan Hirschberg]

The movie.

[Zach Amico]

I've never seen the movie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, Ellen DeGeneres.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Us. She's in it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So. No, but it was great. It was really great. But there was a dad sitting next to me who had his ringer on during. And we were. We're talking about the opening of the play.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, grow a brain.

[Zach Amico]

It goes ding. Like, I keep on hearing. Getting text messages, but he got like three text messages in like two minutes. And I, I went, hey, turn your ringer off. Obviously this is going to be a problem throughout the entire show.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Right, right.

[Zach Amico]

And he kind of gave me a dirty look and I was like, ooh, let me. Give me an opportunity to. I have to be double tough for my gay son Nemo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nemo's dad getting dragged out of the musical.

[Ryan Long]

Dude, if Lewis becomes the like Randy Marsh. But at musicals.

[Zach Amico]

I thought that was America.

[Ryan Long]

Trying to watch my little baby boy sing. He's getting handcuffed. He's all bloody. My boy's in the arts.

[Zach Amico]

Sorry. Keep on playing this video.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You already took a wrong turn.

[Zach Amico]

This guy sounds like a. I agree.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm on my way to I.

[Renan Hirschberg]

If he gas.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is how a girl. This is how a girl like, she's like, I think we should say so. And you go, hey, excuse me, buddy, can we not get gas?

[Zach Amico]

You know what I mean? Yeah, we're in a hurry. Get gas afterwards.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, can you get gas after? We're in a hurry that you have enough gas.

[Ryan Long]

Okay, hold on. He's mad that this guy didn't speak English because of that hat.

[Renan Hirschberg]

There's no way he's got the American.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah, Matt hat is mad that this guy don't speak. No.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, there's a. There's definitely a political undercurrent to this whole video.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't care if they don't speak English, but if you don't speak English, don't do a our phone call the entire time in the Uber in a different language after I've had a long flight.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy. I would want. I. I literally, I'm. I'm going to one start. This guy, he's talking to his baby mama the whole flight.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You stop it.

[Zach Amico]

And I literally. My I just whispering, dude. I. My problem is I never remember to one star him ever. Every time. I always hit five swords in the tip of set at like three bucks or whatever. It's just literally every time I go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm like, I'll remember that one. That's the only one I remember. I'll never give. I never don't tip. Even if they're like late take a wrong turn. The only thing is half hour hour flight. And the guy talks the entire time on the phone and drives me.

[Zach Amico]

If you.

[Ryan Long]

I haven't FaceTime.

[Zach Amico]

If you talk to me at all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wish a would.

[Zach Amico]

If you talk to me at all, it's a problem. You better be so funny and personable if you start yapping at me.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I had to wake up at. I had to get an Uber at 3:30 in the morning two days ago in LA. And I got in the car and the guy started making small talk with me. I was like, I will murder you.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Like, that is insane. Like, he was like, how's it go?

[Ryan Long]

I had that leave in LA too. And the lady was telling me all fun things to do in la, I was like, I'm obviously leaving.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, let's. You've convinced me, let's stay.

[Zach Amico]

No, because I've had it happen a couple times. Like, I had one guy, he was just fucking great, whatever it was. He was personable. I liked talking to him. He was super fucking cool. He told me it was his birthday and I was like, he probably says that every cab ride. Every ride. He's a great idea. He tells him it's their birthday to get fucking extra tips. But he was fucking very personable. But you're really taking a risk if you start talking to me.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Do you ever press. I always feel. I always want to press it, but I don't because I feel like an ass. Do you ever press that? Like preferencing, like, no talking.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. If you order an Uber, I feel like such a. No, I press it. Literally. Do not speak to me.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You press it.

[Zach Amico]

I have a joke about it in my ex.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I just feel like. I just feel like an asshole pressing it. But I want to. But I feel like an asshole. I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, it's assholes if he talks to you and you hold it up. Oh, the preferences aren't working.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I guess I pressed it. So I said to treat you not like you're a human being. I don't think you saw that yet.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but you just don't want to be talked to. I love that it's Uber black. They give you conversation preferences, temperature preferences, music, things like that. And it's like, yeah, dude, don't speak to me ever. That's insane.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I actually, the other day I got Uber actually press the tell me jokes about the weather the entire time.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Real mistake, that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Functional get. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, continue port. And I'm going to miss my flight.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because my Uber driver, first of all took a wrong turn. Second of all is stopping to get gas, which has never happened before.

[Ryan Long]

He pulled the hat down.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I think this is made up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is 12 o'clock on Sunday, 12pm Eastern. I'm on my way to Newark Airport. I'm gonna miss my flight because my.

[Zach Amico]

Uber driver just stopped to get gas. Oh, wow. It's my airport.

[Renan Hirschberg]

The cutoff cheese.

[Ryan Long]

Who is this guy, Shannon?

[Zach Amico]

Who is this guy, Shannon? I don't know who he is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, is he this guy, like a influencer?

[E]

His name is Branda Straka. On his Twitter, it's hashtag walk away.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Can we pull Cut off jeans are very maga now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cut off jeans.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, I think. I think Aaron Berg started that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That might have been like the OG mega thing. Right. Like the cut off jean shorts at nascar.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's like right wing metrosexual.

[Zach Amico]

He's a former liberal. Media bookings. Brandon Straka. Hashtag walk away. What the.

[E]

I'm trying to go to his website.

[Zach Amico]

You go to his website. What does he do?

[Ryan Long]

I hate him.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Be his back.

[Zach Amico]

What does it help Help support my fight to save America.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Once upon a time I was a liberal.

[Ryan Long]

It's clearly like so basically he took like the guys who prayed the gay away.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

But made it liberal.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he walked away from being a liberal. That's no one that's his entire identity is that he used to be a liberal.

[Renan Hirschberg]

What a. I know. No one films a guy like speaking a different language, yelling at him and is not making like a statement.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, what a pussy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Don't be ashamed to vote Trump.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think this is your brethren though, Louis. The fighting with cab drivers. Like don't be so quick to throw at your. You don't have many of you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well I, I, I also did.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're sort of gatekeeping the angry Uber guy.

[Zach Amico]

Well, look, I've, I've grown, I'm a little bit older now. You know what I'm saying? And I, as I'm seeing this, I'm like, I don't want to be that guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Am I him?

[Zach Amico]

That's. Yeah. Am I him? Am I you?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're yelling and screaming though, right? Like he's.

[Zach Amico]

If he stopped to get gas when I'm running late, I would fucking. There's no videotaping. I'm literally trying to fight him. I think, I think the better way to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't like the level of no confrontation. He's being passive aggressive.

[Zach Amico]

He's being a passive aggressive little bitch aggressive. He should be biting this Dominican's nose off.

[Renan Hirschberg]

He's also like, he's no different than like the woke bitches. He hates just filming something and complaining it online. He's just a fucking bitch.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're saying take it outside. Yeah, take the gas can.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Rip it out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like you know, that's what you should be doing.

[Zach Amico]

I, I, I just whatever it is, I'm. He's right. But the way he's handling it is like a little bitch.

[Ryan Long]

He's saying he's all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I just said it was. It's kind of like the other passive aggressive versus aggressive which is what you'd like.

[Zach Amico]

I think if you're. That if you're right, that's exactly the point. If it's that Much of an issue. Get in the fucking guy's face. Fighting. But you're a little. And you won't do that. And this Dominican guy will you up.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Where's a hat with, like, America on it that's just so gay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, they're cheap at the gift shop.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Just a hat.

[Zach Amico]

I don't mind. I don't mind some American gear.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't like them.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't like an American hat.

[Zach Amico]

It's just like.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's like your sports team. That's so lame.

[Zach Amico]

I don't mind. I don't. I don't mind some American gear. I don't mind it at all, you know? Yeah, but I'm not even. I wouldn't say I'm a patriot, but it's like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like I'd wear like a onesie spandex.

[Ryan Long]

Get with a maple leaf on it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Zach wears the shirt with maple syrup on it. Let's do some plugs real quick. We have a lot more stuff here.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Damn. I thought we were like. We're really quick on this.

[Zach Amico]

We're on. What are you plugging, my friend?

[Renan Hirschberg]

What does this have?

[Zach Amico]

This is out now live. Oh, sure. And it comes out on YouTube and everywhere else in a few days.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Come see. See me at Zad in Chicago this weekend.

[Zach Amico]

Very cool.

[Renan Hirschberg]

And then who you open up for? I. I'm.

[Zach Amico]

I'm.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm headlining. 20 years in, I'm finally headlining. And yeah, it's.

[Zach Amico]

It's.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I. I think we're probably. We usually sell out, but, like, come get tickets to that. You can see a bunch of other places. Uh, Colorado Springs, uh, Denver, Denver.

[Ryan Long]

I don't know.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Just get tickets at Punchup Live.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You gotta have these written down somewhere.

[Zach Amico]

Ryan Long.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Wait, wait. You punch up dot live. Punchup Live. Ron on R A N A N. And listen to my new podcast. Your favorite movie sucks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, fellas, go check out my special YouTube.com Ryan Long comedy. We're at 900k helping push me over a million. Next weekend I'm gonna be. Or two weekends I'm gonna be doing California. So Los Angeles. We just had Nether Irvine for the weekend. San Jose, Tampa, Salt Lake City, Denver, Atlanta, Calgary just added San Diego and Tulsa, Columbus. Come out ryanlongcomedy.com for tickets and check out the boys cast every Friday you.

[Zach Amico]

Gotta go see when you're in Salt Lake, there's like a little, like, food spot in the same shopping center. I saw you were gonna be there. The guy. Guy. I forget his name, but he was the Manager of this place, he was like, dude, tell the comics, come over.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, I heard Corolla telling a story about your salt lake.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, it was awesome. But this guy, this food spot was awesome. There's like. There's like maybe four or five, like, different things to eat within the little food.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where is it?

[Zach Amico]

So I'm explaining it wrong. So you go into the one spot. I forget what it's called, but inside the one spot is like four or five different places. You can get burgers, you can get barbecue. It was the best lobby, right? Best lobster roll.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lobster roll.

[Zach Amico]

Best lobster roll I've ever had. And the guy hooked it up. The guy, the manager of the whole place was like, dude, tell comics, come over. We love comics over here. They'll hook you up. Food, drinks, all that stuff. They put us in like a little speak Easy room. It was pretty sick.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Can I just. Can I just let it be known I also have a bunch of dates? I just didn't have it prepared. You're fine.

[Zach Amico]

You're good.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I didn't have it prepared, but I got a bunch. Like, I could have done that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I just roll it back, Zach.

[Ryan Long]

Hey, guys. This weekend I'm gonna be on the road with Juggalo championship wrestling on Thursday. Vegas. Friday, Tucson, Saturday, Albuquerque. Going on a Canadian run. April 3. Ottawa. April 4, Montreal. April 5, Corn roll. April 6, Ghana. Nakwe. April 11, Gnarlies in Golden, Colorado with Etroma Film festival. Come hang out.

[Zach Amico]

Come see me live on the road, guys, to bring five friends. Soar. All four. A couple weeks. Going to Jamaica this weekend with the Gas Digital crew. Very excited about that, but I'll be back. Oh, that's right. Next. Next weekend I added a couple shows. I'm going to be in Moore's Plains, New Jersey, at the Dojo of Comedy on Thursday. Friday, March 14th, I will be at the New York Comedy Club, Stanford. Never been there. Hear great things about the club. So come out to those shows. Then I got South Bend, Indiana, March 21st and 22nd. I got Raleigh, North Carolina on the 23rd. Got another Canadian run coming up as well. St. Catherine's London, London, Windsor and Burlington, Ontario, all coming up at the end of March. Punchline philly coming up April 4th and 5th. And then I'm in Zany's Nashville. We're doing Story wars and Legion of Skanks live all at Zany's Nashville. The first week of April. North Charleston, South Carolina, coming up. And I just added a bunch of European dates. Me and Scott Chaplin are going to Amsterdam, Dublin, Scotland, Manchester, London did. And it's going to be a blast. Get all of those tickets right now. Lewisofskanks.com and a bunch more. I mean, I'm literally on the road every weekend until I film my special. Grab tickets for the special July 12, Tampa, Florida. Gonna be a goddamn blast. Zach and me will come with me. We're gonna party down in Tampa and get your skank fest tickets on May 2nd.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Now Lewis, make sure if you want to get to the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam, you gotta reserve it.

[Zach Amico]

I know you do. I know. I've been to Amsterdam twice now and neither time have I made but I did. I did make my prostitute pretend to be Anne Frank when I which was pretty sick. Make sure you guys also check out.

[Ryan Long]

All my other you can't see her here.

[Zach Amico]

Make Check out all my other podcasts, Story wars, the Rags, the Legendary Legion of Skanks and sign up for my mailing list. Get a my solo podcast, the Lewis Journal Podcast, available every Tuesday morning at 9:00am Eastern. Oh, and subscribe to Gas Digital. Subscribe to Gas Digital. If you're watching this on YouTube or anywhere else, we do an uncensored ad free version of the show just for subscribers, plus a bonus Friday show just for subscribers. Go to gas digital.com use the promo code.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That website is patreon.com theboyscast promo code.

[Zach Amico]

Laz laz is a promo code@gas digital.com thanks, guys.

[Ryan Long]

Ryan, I want to say before when you were talking about when you get in a cab and a guy's on the phone the whole time. Yeah, I read that that might be that there's some people that are born without an internal monologue.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think that's what it is.

[Ryan Long]

And they say people that are on the phone all day, every day, they met someone else without an internal monologue and they just spend the day filling each other's heads because there's just nothing going on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's absolutely bonkers. And that might be half of it. There's definitely a percentage of it that it's a guy whipped by his wife. You know what I mean?

[Ryan Long]

Well, I've heard ones that are guys just talking to another dude.

[Renan Hirschberg]

What?

[Ryan Long]

They're like they're two Arab dudes just fucking talking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's true. And they probably hold hands.

[Renan Hirschberg]

There's a lot of Arab dudes without interior monologue. I feel like they're always on the phone.

[Ryan Long]

I think it's some black dudes.

[Zach Amico]

I had.

[Ryan Long]

I've had a few.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what that Model internal monologue would be.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, can I get another coffee? Just put it in this cup. Just black coffee is fine. Somebody come get this actual.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's possible.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I was an Uber recently and it was an Indian driver and he had a swastika on his rear view mirror. Because that's awkwards. The. The regular swastika.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, what?

[Ryan Long]

Kanye classic.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, original restaurant. Original. Yeah, but because that's part of Hindu culture.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I thought the Hindu one was backwards.

[Renan Hirschberg]

No, I think it's the same thing. How could. How could it be? Wait, backwards.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what I thought, isn't it?

[Ryan Long]

It's pointing the other way. But it's.

[Zach Amico]

Am I crazy that I would rather hang out with a Nazi than an Indian person? Is that a crazy?

[Renan Hirschberg]

I mean, that's part of your kink.

[Ryan Long]

A Nazi versus a nut spell.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But like it was. It's like they had swastikas everywhere.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but I thought. I thought it was backwards. Am I right?

[Ryan Long]

I. I think the one. The. The Hitler one goes one way and the Hindu one goes the other way.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Interesting.

[Zach Amico]

It's. It's just.

[E]

It's scooted over a tiny bit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, it's on its side. It's on a. It's on a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's just got the Indian dot in the middle. Oh, so there you go.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But I. Don't you think they should, like, now that the Nazis kind of used it, don't you think the Indians should let it go a little little?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you guys can probably make that happen, huh? I just feel like make a few.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Calls and put a stop or maybe we will. I just feel like if I want.

[Ryan Long]

To start talking to cultures about letting go.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm just saying, like, you know, they know.

[Ryan Long]

I'm just saying when you point a finger, there's four more pointing back when you point a finger. There's probably 300,000 actually.

[Renan Hirschberg]

All right, fine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're picking a lot of battles right now.

[Zach Amico]

So what? Shannon, give me some highlights from the. The Oscars yesterday. We never even watched that speech. But there was also another chick who showed up nude for an Oscars after party.

[E]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So there was a tried to Bianca sincerity. It.

[E]

No, no. So there were a few actresses. Here's an overview of all of them. And I have one of them at non censored. But they were all like pretty scantily clad.

[Zach Amico]

Let's look at this.

[E]

This is Megan thee stallion. It has her just boobs out with pacing 60s Megan the Style.

[Ryan Long]

Why the would she be at the.

[E]

Oscars this Well These are all from the after party.

[Zach Amico]

Why? She dresses African bushes.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Julia Fox, like, shaves her eyebrows now, and she looks, like, hideous.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crappy. Look.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She looks terrible.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I say that as a guy without eyebrows.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Who's the one in the end?

[E]

Zoe Kravitz.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I like that.

[Ryan Long]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, it looks like a lot. That literally looks like a joke outfit.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't mind her butt being out like that. Hell, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not complaining. I'm just saying it's bizarre.

[Renan Hirschberg]

My favorite part of the Oscars, an actor, like, wins, and they're like, I did not expect this. It's like, well, you should have.

[Ryan Long]

You're either one of four people.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You're one of four people now today, in the whole world.

[Zach Amico]

What was the best movie of the year?

[Renan Hirschberg]

My favorite movie was Nickel Boys, which.

[Zach Amico]

What did you just say? Nickel boy voice. Jesus Christ. What was the best. What one? Best movie. What?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Sex worker movie. Anora.

[Zach Amico]

Anora.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah. It won Best picture, Best director.

[Ryan Long]

Is it called the Nora? The Horror.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That's a children's book.

[Zach Amico]

What was on the. What was on the list for the top you had.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't recognize a lot of these movies.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I think I saw all of them except for one. You have a Nora. You got Brutalist, The. The Jew. Holocaust movie movie, which did not win. You had Wicked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wicked. Gotta have won some stuff.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Wicked didn't. I don't think it won.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, a Substance was nominated.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Substance was nominated.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, pull the list up.

[Renan Hirschberg]

There's, like, 10 movies that got nominated for best Picture.

[Zach Amico]

There we go.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That's Best Director.

[E]

Yeah, I got. When I click it, it's making me pay.

[Zach Amico]

Get another list.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Have y'all seen any of them? I feel like I'm the only.

[Ryan Long]

Only one. Have you all seen any?

[Zach Amico]

I fell asleep during the Substance.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I hated the Substance.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I thought it was so obvious and annoying.

[Zach Amico]

Just because you have a hard time saying it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're an artist, though, too, right?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Cile, I feel like you're trapping me into admitting I'm pretentious. You're like. You're.

[Ryan Long]

You're.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you do a podcast about movies.

[Renan Hirschberg]

This is, like, pretentious.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah, but I do a podcast about movies. Very different. Yeah, I'm a bit of a wheelhouse.

[Zach Amico]

Is funny.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, I'm a bit of a film. Yeah, I like film. I'm a big film guy.

[Ryan Long]

Guy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But the substance is.

[Ryan Long]

It's just stupid.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It was just annoying.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I didn't see. I really didn't see.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did kind of go on and on.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's just on and on. It's obvious. It's not funny. And it's just like. You just know what it. It's just hitting you over the head over and over again.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I didn't really see any of those movies.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you give.

[Zach Amico]

I like. You know what I like? I like movies that aren't good. Yeah. I really. As I'm getting older, I like a bad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Give me Liam Neeson kicking ass.

[Zach Amico]

A bad, fun movie. You know what? I watched you say this.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Like, you're like, I like a movie that's kind of dumb.

[Zach Amico]

I. Not necessarily dumb, but, like, just a fun movie. Like, more fun than. I don't need some art housery. That sucks. We're not. That sucks. Okay. I watched the Companion a couple nights ago.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, that's fun. Companion.

[Zach Amico]

It's a fun, fun movie, dude. Very fun, fun movie. Did you see it?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Hitman. That was the best one I've seen recently. And it was from four years ago. They don't make them like that anymore. That's from.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That's from the share, isn't it?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The account accountant. Yeah, the accountant with Companion was.

[Zach Amico]

Was the. With the chick from Heretic.

[E]

Yellow Jackets.

[Zach Amico]

Yellow jackets.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yellow. Yeah. No, I thought that was really fun movie.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah, it was fun.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel like the bar is a little low right now.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Whereas, like, when something comes out, what's the one with that. Ben Stiller's directing Severance. Yeah, I think it's, like, fine.

[Zach Amico]

Like, it's pretty.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, my. Well, the same thing, though. It's got all the.

[Zach Amico]

Literally not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All the big stars. They put movies stars in TV show. Directing it. So my point is Severance.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the problem. Severance for the f. Both seasons so far. First six episodes below. Then it starts getting good. And it just started getting good for season two. The season one finale of Severance was one of the best finales I've ever seen of any.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a cool show. But it's the same droney music for the entire thing, which gets annoying.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But my point is, it is pretty good.

[Zach Amico]

They need more hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If there was more good stuff, that would be medium.

[Renan Hirschberg]

If it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because this landscape.

[Zach Amico]

The problem is when you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When you.

[Zach Amico]

When you're watching Severance, you. You're watching it and you're like, God, I wish for some hot on the show. And the. So after a while, you start tricking yourself into believing that this redhead bitch is hot. And that's bothering me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A good point. I didn't even realize but definitely did.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, no. Give me some hot on the show. The whole problem with television these days, there's no hot people anymore.

[Ryan Long]

You got to watch the new white Lotus and the girl and awesome tits. That was fucking Walt Goggins.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, that British girl.

[Ryan Long]

Girl, yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Who has like her teeth look like goofy teeth.

[Ryan Long]

She's like talking about her tits.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Remember the British character teeth?

[Ryan Long]

I don't. Yeah, dude. She just. Dude, one goggin was sucking on her nice fat tents.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Remember the that episode of family guy was like British people where the teeth are. It looked like that fake kind of like she had.

[Zach Amico]

Her teeth are wild but that tiger. Shannon, pull up the Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did that win any Oscars?

[Zach Amico]

It's not just piss off for an on. Yeah. Who is this bitch? She is like just fix your fucking goofy ass British teeth.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She's great in the show though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't mind the teeth.

[Zach Amico]

You, you don't mind the teeth?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's all right for me.

[Renan Hirschberg]

They're okay. But sometimes it gets a little cartoony.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. The problem was this season because the Italian season those fucking two Italian hooker bitches were so hot.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That it was like once again you come into the show and you're like this is the hottest chick on the show is some buck tooth bitch.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But I'll put that tiger on up in front of. Well, Aubrey pros is pretty hot.

[Zach Amico]

To be honest with you. I can't all be process is not hot. Okay? Dude, you're just a dork.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What?

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Dorks think Aubrey Plaza's hot.

[Renan Hirschberg]

People think she's hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, she's quirky.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I mean losers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wouldn't describe her as lose literally.

[Ryan Long]

People doesn't like women that lead personality first.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's not true.

[Ryan Long]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But she does get bigged up as like the quirkiest person alive.

[Zach Amico]

She's not hot. She's okay, okay. She's hot there fine. Shannon, pull up the hottest photo over possible. Shannon, you dumb.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's fine.

[E]

You always yell at me for picking ugly pictures of.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's not like I'm the only one who thinks she's hot. And like like clearly dweebs dweebs think.

[Zach Amico]

Aubrey Plaza is hot.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She's gorgeous.

[Ryan Long]

What are you talking.

[Zach Amico]

Stop it. Stop it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shut your mouth.

[Ryan Long]

If there's one thing we know Lewis doesn't like, it's funny.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, are you coming to Jamaica? Have we decided this?

[E]

I'm working, figuring it out, working at it.

[Ryan Long]

I guess I'm starving myself and running in trash bags.

[E]

It's not making any difference.

[Zach Amico]

What do you mean?

[E]

My, my body wants to just hold on to this weight forever, no matter what I'm doing.

[Ryan Long]

Why don't, why don't you take a bunch of accidents and just like a monster.

[Zach Amico]

Matt Zabal says confirm Lewis equals Matt. I get that you're a dweeb, dude. I get that it okay, Aubrey Plaza is fine. She's just fine. Let's get real.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I hate when people guy say she's just fine. Like, I hate that.

[Zach Amico]

Pull up, pull up the average photo of Arby Plaza. Not the hottest photo she's ever taken. Shannon. How about that? Be on my side for once in your life. Ron's getting pissed.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She's like the hottest person ever.

[Zach Amico]

That's insane.

[Renan Hirschberg]

And she's single now.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's you. You get. You go to a hospital and she's like the cute nurse.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yes, for me that's the hottest thing. The cute nurse.

[Zach Amico]

That's ins change.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She's single now.

[Ryan Long]

She's available.

[Zach Amico]

Is she?

[Ryan Long]

I mean, when we're talking herpes.

[Zach Amico]

When we're talking.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You all know her husband commits.

[Zach Amico]

When we're talking about.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That was what I was talking about.

[Zach Amico]

When we're talking about.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I want you to think he's making too much light of that.

[Zach Amico]

When we're talking about celebrities. I mean, how do we even. Aubrey Paul is not even in the top 1000.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I feel like all the women I think are really hot or celebrities. You would not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He likes an attainability.

[Zach Amico]

You know what toy to night. Ronan Hirschberg. Shitty tasted.

[Renan Hirschberg]

All right. Keira Knightley, who you probably think is.

[Zach Amico]

Like you're a pedophile. If you like you're a Knightley, it's because you like flat chested teen boys.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But I'm like, it's not like I'm the only one who thinks she's hot.

[Zach Amico]

She's clearly like hot's not the word. She's pretty.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That's for me, that's hot. Karen Knightley. Emma Watson.

[Zach Amico]

Pedophile. Pedophile.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm not saying from Harry Potter 3. I'm saying from like 4 and on.

[Zach Amico]

That's a baby child. You're naming all the girls that. If you're a pedophile, you like them good.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Kristen Stewart.

[Zach Amico]

Chris. Pedophile.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The girl you like. The Addams Family girl.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you do.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I like look, I like Jenna Ortega. Yeah, she's gorgeous.

[Ryan Long]

Oh, dude, have you seen her? And she fucks an ex and it is hot.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In movie X.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Great movie.

[Zach Amico]

Pedophile. Pedophile.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Talking about.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, nothing to do with the conversation. I'm just saying.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, but yeah, those are my tops.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You like them young.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I mean, they're not. They were once young. They're not.

[Zach Amico]

Everyone was once young. But like they present as young flat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Chested you like a big set of gazumbas.

[Zach Amico]

Not necessarily. I like small tits too, but I like them to be so little bit.

[Ryan Long]

Louis likes whatever the person talking to him doesn't like you.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Right.

[Ryan Long]

If a guy loves tits, he's like, look at a gross big fat tits.

[Zach Amico]

You look at Kristen Stewart hot. You're right.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, you know, she showed a little.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You like that was one of on your list?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

That's a rough one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's leaning a little hard.

[Renan Hirschberg]

No, she's leaning a little hard now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the. That's the. The guy wearing the American. The usa. That's your USA hat.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You always look as dye. All right. She. She's beautiful. I mean, she's a star at Twilight, you know, it's not like I'm like. It's not like. Like I'm like the only one who thinks she's a train.

[Ryan Long]

That's how I will say that's how hot.

[Zach Amico]

It's kind of hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's fine for a night night.

[Zach Amico]

Lee. She.

[Ryan Long]

She means she would look better in a big metal helmet.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But I guess I do like the like, I do like skinny and I like the girl next door look like in euphoria. Everyone loves Sydney Sweeney. For me, the hottest.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not you. I'm not a collector.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm all Mod Apatow. I think she's the hottest.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, I mean, I don't really.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Cindy Sweeney was the big tits, but.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That'S you being a hipster.

[Renan Hirschberg]

No, I'm not. That's how I feel.

[Ryan Long]

That's not.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You know who's this gorgeous mod Apatow?

[Ryan Long]

Judd Apatow's daughter.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. What's going on, guys? Let me take a moment and thank Keto Brains for supporting today's show. We love Keto Brains here on the show and at the network altogether. I got it in the lobby. Everyone's been drinking Keto Brains all the time now. I keep on getting so many amazing compliments on it because it genuinely tastes great. It makes you feel great if you guys have brain fog or if you have midday crashes or overall, if you feel like your brain just isn't firing on all cylinders. Keto Brains. Nootropic. Creamer has you covered. It's the ultimate upgrade for your coffee and your mind. Not just for your coffee. You can put it in your protein shake. You could just put it right in your mouth. It tastes so good you could scoop it directly, directly into your mouth. It's packed with science backed ingredients like alpha GPC for focus lines made for neurogenesis, L theanine for smooth clarity and C8MCT for sustained keto energy. I do a keto diet all the time. Really, really great way to keep yourself in keto or to get yourself in keto. It's creamy, it's a coconut based formula. It just tastes good and it makes you feel great. Try it a couple days. I'm telling you right now, you're gonna feel so good. You're gonna get hooked on this stuff. Absolutely incredible. Sarge day. Sharp power through workouts and crush your to do list. Or simply stay locked in when it matters most. At work, at the gym, no matter what you need, there's no fillers, no fluff, just pure high performance nootropics in every single scoop. Right now go to ketobrains.com that's with a Z. Keto brains with a Z.com use the promo code LAZ20 for 20% off. Once again, that's ketobrains.com. use that promo code LAZ20 and get 20% off your order today. All right. We're. Were we fine? I don't know, but there's even pedophilia undertones to that. What? It's a famous person's daughter.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Like I'm not grooming her.

[Ryan Long]

Oh, by the way, but you grew up seeing her in movies as a child.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

What is this pedophile? That's not a pedophile. Who do you like? Pamela Anderson or some.

[Zach Amico]

You basic Pamela Anderson. That's. I did love Pamela Anderson when I was a child. Child. Who do I like that's a celebrity now? I don't know. I don't really like celebrities that much.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm always shamed for my tastes. Every time I say someone, they're like, oh, she's flat. She's got no ass.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they're just not. Yeah, they're not. They're not that toy.

[Ryan Long]

It's because we can't always attack you for your personality.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I like them looking a little like a man, but still being a girl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Joe Jonas's wife. She's pretty hot.

[Zach Amico]

Who?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's a big actor.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. See, Shannon, who do I like? Do you remember Who? I like Shannon. I don't know if I like any celebrities. Hold on. What?

[E]

Johnny Depp's X. What's what's her name? Amber Heard you loved her.

[Zach Amico]

I did love Amber Heard for a while.

[Ryan Long]

Oh and Harley Quinn.

[Zach Amico]

I like her too. But honestly, now that I've seen her in a bikini too many times, her body's pretty mid doggy. What do you want me to say?

[Renan Hirschberg]

I mean, yeah, they're obviously attractive people.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I just like, you know, a little more womanly, I'd say. Yeah. Don't get wrong. I think a young chick's.

[Renan Hirschberg]

They both look brainless. So I think you like them looking a little brainless.

[Zach Amico]

No, she's pretty perfect doggy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She's hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She does like she does look like in your type in the sense that you could see her yelling.

[Zach Amico]

No, I also like a crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Comes off a little 100%.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She looks so bad that she kind of turned me off on. On the trial. She didn't look great.

[Zach Amico]

Oh yeah. Cuz now she's an old lady. You don't like. You don't like full grown.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm pedophile. But a 35 year old is an old lady. Or however old she is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Courtroom doing adult stuff.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She didn't look great. I should thought she'd look sexier in court.

[Ryan Long]

You know, for me it's old school. Rose McGowan like from like I could.

[Renan Hirschberg]

See that pre scream.

[Ryan Long]

So like she did a movie with Lewis and Clark and George and a few Doom. Doom generation.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh yeah. Doom generation.

[Ryan Long]

She's smoking.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I could see you liking her. She. She's always dressed like a clown of some kind.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she's not that hot either, Zach.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, she was hot. She was hot. She was very hot.

[Ryan Long]

She's so hot. Scream.

[Zach Amico]

She's fine. She's fine.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I hate to. She's fine. Anyone could do that. I could do that to what you said.

[Zach Amico]

I mean she's fine if you really zoom in on her face. Dude. It's actually not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My question is if like if we were at the the stand comedy club and she showed up.

[Zach Amico]

She's a smoking hot chick. Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, no, but whatever Celebrities stand.

[Ryan Long]

We would assume she worked there at some point.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Would she show up and everyone would.

[Zach Amico]

Be like oh my God, Dominican waitress from the stand is hotter than every one of these girls girls put together. Sure.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm not the biggest Rose McGowan fan though. We both have. My last special is called Brave and her book is called Brave.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure.

[Renan Hirschberg]

We have a similar.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that'll be what you say to her. I noticed that.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. This is an old ass list.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

List of what?

[Ryan Long]

He's looking at the hottest female celebrities.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I. Whatever is celebrities don't really do it for me.

[Renan Hirschberg]

You love Sydney Sweet. That bad?

[Zach Amico]

No, no, I think she's pretty. Her face is whatever. All right. I don't really love huge tits. And that's sort of like the appeal for her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ariana Grande was sort of a hot one. She kind of.

[Zach Amico]

Ariana Grande was pretty toy, but until she became like a skinny chested.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She kind of looks strange.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Ariana? No. Yeah. I don't like her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Felt like she was up there now.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't like how she does her makeup. I actually think she looks kind of interesting now. I liked her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You like her better now?

[Renan Hirschberg]

I like her white. I like her white.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You like a woman that takes up less space.

[Zach Amico]

I like the girls that I like. Grew up loving. Yeah. Like Mila Kunis back. That's a good one.

[Ryan Long]

She was 14.

[Zach Amico]

I was also. I was 14 at the time. She was the one, though. Like, dude, that 70s show when I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was a kid lost her to Kutcher.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God, Dude. She was like, God damn it. Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And Kutcher also killed a guy potentially too. So he's a bad boy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Who'd he kill?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Allegedly.

[Zach Amico]

Who?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Who though?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, he had his. Like, someone he knew died and he was like the last one in the house and some big thing like that. I don't think he actually killed him, for the record.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like, so what? Like, I never liked Jennifer Lawrence. But then once her nudes came out, I was like, oh, now that I can feel like I'm sexually assaulting her in my own way. Then I got into her.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't find. I don't find her. I don't know something about her I don't.

[Zach Amico]

You know.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She's from my hometown, though. She's from Louisville.

[Zach Amico]

Get out of town.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah. When her nudes came out, I remember this comedian posted like, guys, don't look at it. I just found that guy so annoying.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's not really hurting anyone.

[Zach Amico]

No, no. I mean, it hurts. Hurts my dick.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah, but it's so obviously, like, posturing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

It's so like, I want girls to read this, like, and think I'm a super cool.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's got nine screens up.

[Ryan Long]

That's pretty awesome, dude.

[Zach Amico]

So Shannon, who's.

[Renan Hirschberg]

God, who's gone? Jesus. Don't. I. I Don't want to get hard.

[Zach Amico]

Put your headphones on. You keep on yapping over me every time I try to talk.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Talk that I can't hear you.

[Zach Amico]

That's literally the reason you have headphones is so you don't yap over people.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I'm interrupting because I'm an. It's not the headphones.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, who is Gracie Bond?

[Ryan Long]

The girl I'm obsessed with, the giant ass.

[Zach Amico]

Why is she complaining about being stared at at Disney?

[Ryan Long]

Because she does videos and she's like, I can't believe everyone's staring at me. It's like, yeah, because your ass to the size of eight people.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, can we see this complaint?

[Ryan Long]

This is what she does now. Used to see big girls like me at Disneyland.

[Zach Amico]

Today I came to Disney with my.

[Ryan Long]

Family, ready to have fun. But the second I arrived, the nightmare started. Some parents started recording me, so I decided to change the game. If they were gonna record me, I was gonna record them.

[Zach Amico]

I gave my glasses to my brother.

[Ryan Long]

And let him capture everything.

[Zach Amico]

Imagine that's your horse, sister. My eyes. People were to see my body, like, hello, this is a America.

[Ryan Long]

Almost 40%.

[Zach Amico]

Also, the amount of people. No, most people aren't staring at this because they're like, ooh, I want it. Most people are staring at her being like, what a.

[Renan Hirschberg]

She's a freak.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Depends on the race of the guy, really.

[Zach Amico]

I think even most black guys, most Latin guys aren't into that. The guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Latin guys want that.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Guys liking big asses. I've never understood that. They're like, that's a big ass. I'm like, that's just a fat person.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't get it either.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, it's like, even Kim Kardashian, I'm like, that just looks like a tumor. I find that gross.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Give me a flat ass, dude.

[Ryan Long]

I fucking. She has a fucking sex tape and she's in the backseat of a car. The guy's in the front. Kim, that girl, the Gracie Bond, she puts her ass between the front seat and the driver's seat and spreads her pussy open with it. And it is such a fucking hot trick.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But you're like. You're, like, into, like, carnival shit. Like circus la kinda.

[Ryan Long]

I like big hair. I like big tits. I like big asses. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you. You're a freak, though. You're a freak yourself. Yes. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That makes sense.

[Zach Amico]

I say 1% of guys like a. That looks like that.

[Ryan Long]

Absolutely not.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, first of all, it's just Not. I mean, aesthetically, it's just not proportionate. So that's.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I like a nice fat ass on a girl. Like, I. I like. I'm an ass guy more than a matic guy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Like, I love round bubble ass, but not disproportionate.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that's crazy. That's psychotic.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Disproportionate. The whole thing is off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Insane.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Renan knocked over an entire water sham. Sorry. It's now destroying our table.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He got fired up. Speaking of asses, dude, why don't we.

[Ryan Long]

Just have Renan on more so he can talk over us, disagree with us and ruin our things?

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's like the ass throws it all off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He fired up.

[Zach Amico]

I told Shannon that I would buy her new sexy beach clothes. Clothes. Are we gonna go shopping? Shannon? Can we go to like, we go to together? No, we're not gonna go for order from Amazon. I'm not ordering from the jungle. You're not that big. Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah, folks. Shannon. Yeah. You're coming to Jamaica, right? You're. I can tell you're coming by your faith face.

[Renan Hirschberg]

What are y'all doing in Jamaica?

[Ryan Long]

Lewis has never said before what you have it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll tell you what, though. The brother. The brother's the ultimate simp. That's. He's really not getting enough heat.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. What a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Filming your sister's only fans promos. Come on.

[Zach Amico]

Crazy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Thank you, Shannon. Sorry about that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Zach, you're. You're in a very small percentage, I don't think.

[Ryan Long]

I think more guys think that's hot than you think.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, they do.

[Renan Hirschberg]

No, they do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're out there. They, like, this waist was skinny enough.

[Zach Amico]

That it's maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe 4% of guys.

[Ryan Long]

Like, it's a. I would bump it up to 15%.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's a popular category.

[Zach Amico]

The big ass, you know, giant ass. Like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No bbl.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but it's not just a bbl, dude. This is like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, but if you start getting into that game, then next thing is a little bigger then a bigger. Then you're on this, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

You're chasing the dragon.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's a dragon. But I think fat women are apparently, like, the most looked on porn. Like in real. Like. Like bigger women.

[Zach Amico]

That's not true.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Like, in reality, bigger women.

[Ryan Long]

I think if you look globally, Arabs and Indians are really into it.

[Zach Amico]

I. I think hot, young fucking bitches get looked at way more than fat chicks. If you look at the top. If you go to like pornhub or any of these websites. You look at the top, it's like porn chicks.

[Renan Hirschberg]

It's like, yeah, it.

[Zach Amico]

The top 200 chicks are just hot. They're not fat chicks.

[Ryan Long]

No, but when you look at the things that are most searched.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

A lot of times it's milf because.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They can't find it.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I think we're more not on the front page.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't have to be the other guys don't have to be surgeon.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I think we're more. I think we're more fat. Positive behind closed doors with porn searches.

[Zach Amico]

And in reality, Hentai, milf, Big ass. Yeah, but big ass is different than giant crazy ass cream pie. Really?

[Renan Hirschberg]

What's hentai?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're thinking I add the word cream.

[Zach Amico]

Pie to any search that I search Every time.

[Ryan Long]

But big ass, I do too. But it's on grubhub.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Big ass is the first. Big ass is the first thing on there. That's like kind of like a actual description of the person. So that is number one.

[Ryan Long]

I mean, MIL would call older.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know what pinay.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I don't know what that is.

[Zach Amico]

What's pin?

[Renan Hirschberg]

But MIL is kind of cuz they're much older than like the other porn stars. I feel like that's kind of a category. I think big ass is like the first, like really defining, like anal. That's just an action.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lesbians. Have a look.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, yeah, I guess.

[Ryan Long]

What is pine?

[Renan Hirschberg]

What's Filipinos?

[Zach Amico]

Filipinos. I've never even.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Filipinos. I've never heard that Filipinos are like the number one.

[Zach Amico]

That's not a real list right there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That can't be.

[Zach Amico]

That's directly from pornhub. That's from pornhub. Let me see it again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Propaganda. Jewish propaganda.

[Renan Hirschberg]

What is hentai?

[Ryan Long]

That's like Japanese anime porn.

[Zach Amico]

Children.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Number one is not real.

[Zach Amico]

Look at. Look at being like, what's hentai? I've never heard of hentai. Tai wa is. Go back to the list. I'm sorry.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That's so funny. That number one of the.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see. Hentai, milf, panay, lesbian anal, big ass, anime, Japanese, Latina, Asian, stepmom, cream pie, threesome, animation, big tits, massage. Really? That's. This is just not true.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, it makes sense that mil. That's like a Freud.

[Zach Amico]

This is not even close to true. This is not the number one. That. That.

[Ryan Long]

What would be their reason to lie?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know, Zach, but I'm telling you right now, these are all ridiculous. No, people Aren't that far off from my.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll tell you one reason is they want to put some weird on there to be like, it's actually pretty normal to do this weird that we're pushing. Yeah, right. You're not alone. Everyone likes hentai.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Porn in general's gotten a little bit boring. Like, I. I can't really. I mean, I'll watch.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When masturbations lost its fun.

[Zach Amico]

It really kind of has.

[Ryan Long]

I think each was kind of getting, getting older.

[Zach Amico]

Is it. Is it that I'm getting older or is it that there's not enough variety?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're getting older.

[Zach Amico]

Is there not enough variety anymore? Because that's what I think it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I used to like too accessible. It's not naughty enough.

[Zach Amico]

We used to go on to like pornhub or on X videos and there'd be like a thousand new videos a day. The girls that were popular, they'd get. There'd be like a new popular hot corporate now only Fans has sort of taken away a lot of that. And I'm not. I, I can't. There's Only Fans also isn't very searchable, so you can't, like, find, like chicks that you want based off of, like, words. And it's a little bit of a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Find them on Instagram and then type their name and leaked into Google.

[Zach Amico]

It's a little bit depressing, to be honest with you.

[Renan Hirschberg]

The point. Yeah, I guess I see that. Yeah. I mean, also, you know, I think.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You'Re getting at that age that you just need like a stack of Playboys in a shed.

[Zach Amico]

You know, dude, I, I'll go to. I'll go. Thoughts. Sometimes thoughts, old school thoughts. Other times.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Wait, like thoughts like in your head.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm thinking not the ones in his phone.

[Ryan Long]

The ones.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but I'll watch in my phone. The girls send me that I'll jerk off to. That's probably my number one category is when girls send me that. I'm like, all right, well, that's what.

[Ryan Long]

That'S why Lou's upset with that list. Lou said that list should say things girls have sent to Lewis.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I like us nude scenes from movies. I like a good story.

[Zach Amico]

I, I, by the way, I will watch mainstream movies because Stop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I'll tell you why from this. So I'll.

[Zach Amico]

I'll find it'll. There's a category in like pornhub. It'll be like, man, it'll say mainstream explicit.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I think because it's hottest of women.

[Zach Amico]

Can I tell you why. It's not even that. I'm like, oh, this is like I'm seeing a celebrity naked. It'll be. It'll be like a celebrity with, like, who's actually completely naked spreading her legs to the other actor. And I'm in my head, I'm going like, that's hot. She had to do that scene, you know what I'm saying? There's a scene with you're picturing yourself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Being the boom guy.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Well, there's just a cap on, Cookie. There's a cap on how hot a porn star can be. Like, the real hot people are in, like, movies.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I think some porn stars are hotter than. I. I can name Kristen Stewart. I can name a hundred porn stars hotter than every girl that's on your top, top hot girl list.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But like, it's like. But like, a lot of porn stars, they just look like someone who would do porn.

[Zach Amico]

That ruins it for me. I'll tell you another thing I drop off too. If I jerk off the porn, I'll go on to Eros. I'll find the porn stars that you can go to, like New York, L.A. vegas, and type in the porn star category. These girls are available.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're like, I could fuck her. So I'm basically doing it now.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Then I'll go find their porns and then I jerk off that I need another layer.

[Ryan Long]

If there's one thing we know, we're non conjuring. Jerk off. It's the idea of a bargain.

[Renan Hirschberg]

I. I was jacking off this hot French movie called Blue is the warmest color. You ever heard of it.

[Zach Amico]

Is that the gay movie on the Beach?

[Renan Hirschberg]

And I like. I jack off to it. No, no, no, that's. Oh, that's the movie Joe likes. Yeah, yeah, no, this is lesbians and number four, top look for category. And I used to jack off it all the time. And I could tell it was like a really good movie because, like, the scene before and after, I'm like, this seems like a really emotional movie. And eventually I jacked off too so much I watched the movie, I'm like, this is great. And like, I got. It's like you. You creep out enough. You like. It's like with me with what's her name, Dua Lipa. I was creeping on her so much that now I'm just like, a huge fan of her music.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Like, that's crazy because, like, she is really good.

[Zach Amico]

But what's that. What's that movie means you're addicted to sex. What Is it the word?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Nymphomaniac. There's a movie. Nymphomaniac Part one, Part two. I've jerked off two to so many scenes from that. There's a double penetration scene in that.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty wild. But I think they use, like, body doubles. I think it's actual porn.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah, they use porn stars for some of the scenes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Because they show real penetration.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And what's his name gets his. I'm pretty sure he. Shia LaBeouf, actually. The chick.

[Renan Hirschberg]

That one. That younger woman is beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

Which one?

[Renan Hirschberg]

The one when she's a.

[Zach Amico]

When she's a child. There are scenes when she's actually a child.

[Renan Hirschberg]

No, but she's not a child. Well, she's naked in it. I don't know. I mean, it's not poor. I mean, it's not child pornography. The girl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You are, like, barely legal.

[Zach Amico]

You are marginally legal. Head of fun.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Shut the fuck up.

[Ryan Long]

That woman's gorgeous.

[Zach Amico]

What's her name?

[Renan Hirschberg]

The one who plays the. Don't Kendrick Lamar me right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, there's a certified.

[Ryan Long]

There's also, like, older movies, like 70s and 80s movies where the rumor is that they really had sex for one of the takes. Like, Don't Look Now.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

Don't look now has Donald Sutherland.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

And the lady and then Julie Christie.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

What's the movie where the Godfather put the stick of butter up the lady's ass?

[Renan Hirschberg]

Oh, Last Tango in Paris.

[Ryan Long]

Yeah.

[Renan Hirschberg]

But that was simulated, but she didn't know about it, so it was like they didn't let her know. Like, he was gonna put it, like, pretend to put butter up her ass. Which is pretty insulting. Like, they could have just told her. She could have acted. But they're like, ah, she's not a good enough actor. We have to rape her to really get a good performance out of her.

[Zach Amico]

That's like when they would tell kids that their dog is dead.

[Renan Hirschberg]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Long]

Like Milo. Notice we went through 15 actresses today.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we're wrapping this one up. This has been fun. Support Ryan Long and renown Hirschberg and everything that they do. We'll be back on Wednesday with another amazing episode. Lots of. We're recording a lot of podcasts this week because next week we're in Jamaica, so we're pre taping everything this week. You guys are the. Thanks for watching. Good night.