0044. Che Durena and Josie Marcellino

Summary

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 0044: Che Durena & Josie Marcellino

Date: September 14, 2025
Host: Zac Amico
Guests: Che Durena, Josie Marcellino
Producer(s): GaS Digital Network

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Episode Overview

This unhinged drive-time episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo brings together comedians Che Durena and Josie Marcellino for a riotous blend of personal chaos, wild stories from the road, and no-holds-barred conversations about health, debates gone wrong, and the darker sides of current news. The trio swings between bathroom humor, hard-hitting realities of mental health and homelessness, and a behind-the-scenes look at internet “debate culture.” The result is equal parts grotesquely funny and surprisingly honest, with that signature Morning Zoo edge.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening Banter – Diner Food, “Jewish Kick,” and Healthy Living

[00:46–04:16]

• Zac warmly welcomes Che and Josie, expressing genuine excitement about the episode.
• Chat about Zac’s recent “manly” meal (diner meatloaf, baked potato, string beans, matzo ball soup).
• Che and Zac riff about eating healthier, the trauma of a “meat dump,” and the misery of digestive cycles when altering your diet.
• Running joke: “Unjewed” as a term for corrupting matzo ball soup with garlic hot sauce.
• Colonoscopy horror stories and apparent fascination with medical procedures gone wrong.

QUOTE [04:07]:
Zac: “I kinda wanna do the flush you have to do. Even though I’m not quite old enough for a colonoscopy...”

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2. Medical Mayhem – Anesthesia, Russian Doctors, and Grim Humor

[04:25–08:45]

• Zac and Josie share anesthesia tales: fighting nurses upon waking, wishing for post-surgery “loopy” euphoria.
• Mutual distrust of Russian dentists: Zac’s “brutal” wisdom tooth extraction at the hands of a no-nonsense Russian woman (“She just put pliers in. I could have done that at home!”).
• Che and Zac riff on comedic “racisms” for specific services: “Chinese for mystic stuff, Russian for mob duty, not comfort.”

Memorable exchange [08:14]:
Che (on Russian dentist): “This will hurt a lot.” (mimes needle jam)
Zac: “Pliers? Are you fucking nuts? I thought there was gonna be tools!”

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3. Witchcraft & Brain Damage: Josie’s Wildest Story

[09:54–24:36]

• Josie describes being scammed by a “Nigerian TikTok witch” promising to help get her ex back. She attempted rituals involving: sea salt, cloves, cinnamon—and even washing her face with her own urine.
  • “I washed half my face like I was Harvey Dent with piss and cinnamon. And then I was like, what am I doing?” [11:54]
• The crew cracks up at the absurdity, spinning it into comic book villain references (“Cinnamon and Piss!”).
• Conversation turns somber: Josie details her spiral into mental illness due to encephalitis (brain swelling from a teratoma), leading to a lost period in Italy filled with suicidal episodes, police intervention, and disconnection from reality.
• Honest reflection on her ex, the aftermath, guilt, and boundaries for contact:
  • “It feels weird not ever being able to apologize or clear the air. But that is a selfish thing on my end...” [24:46]

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4. Debate Culture, “Whatever” Podcast, and Public Humiliation

[24:36–41:46]

• Josie recounts the fallout after appearing on the “Whatever” podcast—a notorious debate show. She describes being overestimated (by herself) and woefully unprepared against a polished grifter/debater.
• Dissects her mistakes: “I was bringing intuition to a fact fight...” [32:15]; admits to panic-lying, “stolen valor” about visiting war zones (never been), and accidentally saying she appeared in war-torn countries.
• Reflects on the online backlash, doxing, and why it’s best not to engage.
  • Zac, with perspective: “Every single time you go to bed, you will be less concerned with it... You get got sometimes.” [40:18]
• Che summarizes internet microcosms: “These people… they’re not real. None of it’s real. None of it is real.” [44:15]

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5. Societal Problems – News, Housing, and Mental Health

[46:21–55:59]

• The group criticizes “debate culture” for distracting from the “real enemy”—a tiny elite hoarding resources, systemic issues like real estate speculation, and destruction of the middle class.
• Zac pivots to tragic recent news stories:
  • Charlotte Train Stabbing ([49:06–51:53]): Video of a schizophrenic man killing a Ukrainian refugee—critique of mental health and justice system failures; discussion on why some crimes get covered up.
  • Philly Execution ([52:22–56:40]): Homeless couple, public shooting in Center City; violent video prompts discourse on gun access and homeless struggles in Philly.
• The group agrees major violence is rarely random, usually linked to drugs or mental health, and that coverage should address root causes.

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6. Police Incompetence & Gender Roles

[57:14–61:38]

• Viral video: two “lady cops” failing to subdue a small suspect.
• The comedians riff on what makes a good cop partner: strength, calm, ability to talk people down—regardless of gender but emphasizing physical requirements for safety.
• Che: “He could have taken their gun. He could have been dual wielding!” [59:28]
• Discussion cycles into “fat strength,” TSA agents, and gendered humor.

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7. Closing – Girl Scout Cookies & Rapid-Fire Jokes

[61:38–65:31]

• Announcement: new Girl Scout cookie (“Explore Mores,” s’mores-inspired).
• Brief cross-border comparison: only two cookie types in Canada, wide variety in the US.
• Zac, Che, and Josie debate faves (thin mints in the freezer win; honor to shortbread and Samoas as well).
• Zac shares a wrestling locker room anecdote, buying 10 boxes, and being good-naturedly roasted by a wrestler named Homicide.
• Plugs and shout-outs: everyone details upcoming gigs and podcasts (details below).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Witchcraft Gone Wrong:
  Josie: “I washed half my face like I was Harvey Dent with piss and cinnamon. And then I was like, oh no, what am I… I’ve been had.” [11:54]
• On Trauma & Mental Health:
  Josie: “There should be a hundred viral videos of me just gallivanting… just a jacket, nothing else on to speak of, just a jacket…” [15:39]
  Zac (supportive): “Every single time you go to bed, you will be less concerned with it. And there will be a day where you go, I didn’t think about that all day.” [40:18]
• On Internet Hate & Debate Shows:
  Che: “These people… they’re not real. None of it’s real.” [44:15]
• On Cop Partners:
  Che: “If a lady is gonna be a cop, she better be on enough roids to have a clit like a thumb…” [57:30]
• On Public Service Humiliation:
  Zac: “I could do this at home. I would have saved a lot of money actually.” [09:06] Che: “He could have killed both of them. Skinned the fatter of the two, put her body on, and shown up to work the next day…” [59:37]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Opening food & health chat: 00:46–04:16
• Anesthesia/Russian dentist stories: 04:25–09:06
• Josie’s TikTok Witch & Medical Odyssey: 09:54–24:36
• Debate Show & Doxing Trauma: 24:36–41:46
• Society, Real Estate, Systemic Issues: 46:21–49:06
• Charlotte train stabbing/Philly execution: 49:06–56:44
• Lady Cops Fiasco: 57:14–61:38
• Girl Scout cookies & closing plugs: 61:38–68:13

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Plugs

Josie Marcellino:

• @josiemarcellino on all socials
• Guest spots for Robert Kelly at Port Comedy Club (Baltimore), NY Comedy Club East Village, DC appearances, Skankfest
• Stand-up, TV producing

Che Durena:

• Podcasts: “Dark Holes” (w/ Shaderna), “Two Goons” (w/ JJ Lieberman)
• Tour dates: chedurena.com (Toronto, Pittsburgh, San Jose, Skankfest, more)

Zac Amico:

• Dates: punchuplive.com/zacamico
• “Too Fat, Too Furious: Two Zacks Tour” (with Zach Holmes)
• Skankfest
• Subscribe: GasDigital.com (Promo code: ZOO)

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Tone & Takeaway

The episode’s tone is gleefully irreverent, brutally honest, and built on a chemistry of comics who know how to mix crass with depth. There’s a wild unpredictability—from vile body humor to raw admissions of personal crisis and social critique—but always laced with biting humor. Fans of offensive, high-octane, and honest morning conversations will find plenty here.
Summary in a nutshell:
A train-wreck of stories—hilarious, horrific, and wholly human. You’ll never look at cinnamon the same way again.

Transcript

[A]

Fill her up. You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[B]

Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play. Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep. Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky. Grab a coffee and join the cre. It's a Miko morning soon.

[C]

Wake up, dickheads, it's Wednesday. Hey, it's me, your other boy, the international superstar cousin Zach, welcoming you to another edition of Zach Miko's Morning Zoo here on the old GAS Digital Network. Across the table from me, I'll be completely honest, two of my favorite people to podcast with. Looking forward to today, because days like this, it's pretty fucking easy. Across the table from me, from the Dark Holes podcast, as well as two goons, it's our good buddy Che Durena.

[A]

Hi. How are we doing? We're good.

[C]

How you doing, boss?

[A]

I'm doing pretty good right now, dude. I just. I'm freshly caffeinated, so. Yeah, it can't get much better than this.

[C]

It's gonna be a day. Next to him, our good friend Josie Marcelino. How are you?

[D]

Hi. I'm doing good. I'm happy to be here.

[C]

1. Thank you guys so much for being here. I'm feeling good as well. Had some diner meatloaf last night, dude. Yeah, stuff, I mean, you know, I gotta tell you. Baked potato, string beans, meatloaf. Just a man meat. Just what men used to eat.

[A]

Yeah, no, I think it's good. I think it keeps you regular. Take good shots.

[C]

Oh, and. Excuse me. And a bowl of matzo ball soup.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, that's a nice combo which I undoed by filling with garlic hot sauce.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah, the Jews don't like that at all.

[C]

Yeah, it was definitely a little much.

[A]

That's.

[D]

Does garlic repel Jews or is it just vampires?

[C]

No, they like it. But the hot sauce, I think in general, they don't do. I don't think they do hot.

[E]

Well, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Also, I think that's going to be a new popular term. Unjewed.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, you just. You flick the hat off. Flick the hat off.

[A]

Dude, how. We got to undo this place a little bit.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, no, that's been my new go to. So I eat better. I try and get a big soup.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

So that I don't eat like crap.

[D]

Yeah, well, diner meatloaf with the soup is that.

[C]

It's better than If I had fries, that's fair. Mozzarella sticks are what I would usually get.

[A]

Is that the worst? Honestly? Yeah, like, it's.

[D]

Meatloaf is protein.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm trying to go vegetables and regular stuff.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

There were carrots and celery in the soup. I'm counting that.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

How's. How's, how's the, how's the healthy living going for you?

[C]

It's going all right. Starting.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

The. The. The dumps have been on and off, on and off.

[E]

The.

[C]

Yeah, I fucked up the other night and I got. Again, I've been on a Jewish kick, I guess.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Almost could have pronounced that wrong. And I did. We did this place that does. Called Dave's Brisket.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And I did one of those big old school pastrami sandwiches.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

God, it was good.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I was so stoned. Yeah, it was so good. The next day, I swear to God, I shit a pile of pastrami.

[A]

Oh, my God, dude.

[C]

Well, it was like somebody. It was like somebody sprayed shit spray on a pastrami. Yeah, my. It was so horrendous. It was just meat. It was just. I was full of meat.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And my body did not do it good.

[A]

No, it's a. Especially when you're. I find when I'm. When I'm cutting, when I'm losing weight, that's when my shits get crazy, dog.

[D]

Yeah, your body's like, oh, we're getting rid of this. Yeah, let's get rid of it.

[A]

It's gotta. We gotta dump it. We gotta send it, dude.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of wanna do the. Even though I'm not quite old enough for the colonoscopy, I kind of wanna do the flush that you have to do.

[A]

Yeah, do a flush. Why not?

[D]

Dude, I'm gonna say you should do a colonoscopy. Just given what I know.

[C]

Two years. I got to do it anyway.

[D]

Do it a little early.

[C]

Why not?

[A]

Yeah, do it a little early.

[C]

It could hurt.

[D]

Get it flushed out.

[C]

It might.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I did hear a story about a dude. I. I feel like I heard this story while sitting at a dinner table and you can like overhear the other people's conversation. And I was listening to a story about a guy who was getting a colonoscopy and the anesthesia didn't work and he was like, just feeling. He was like. It was horrible. And I'm just like hearing this and he was like a six year old dude with his six year old friends telling it at dinner. I loved it.

[D]

Now, that's what I would be worried about with you, because I know you've. You've taken some drugs in your day. It's just that the anesthesia would not be enough.

[C]

I might come.

[D]

You might come?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

My grandpa, my dad's dad. When they came. No, but they were over. They were visiting when I was a little kid, and he had to go get a colonoscopy because, you know, that's the kind of thing you do in the middle of vacation.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I remember him just telling everybody about it, and he's like, I couldn't look at the screen. I felt like I was on a roller coaster.

[A]

Do people come in their colonoscopy?

[C]

No. No. But I do enjoy. There's an entire genre of video because they make you have to fart.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Before you leave.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's just people that are still hopped up on the pain meds, ripping in the hospital and they giggling.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

But it's people that would definitely never fart like that in public.

[A]

Right now.

[C]

They're just fucking tooting.

[A]

They're letting go love. Good drug.

[C]

Love that. And I also love girls getting out of the dentist.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Get real slutty.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're like.

[C]

I love big black.

[A]

Like, whoa.

[D]

I've been under anesthesia like, four times, and every time when I wake up, I don't get the loopy, fun stuff. I've been with, like, my best friend. She was a trip when she got her wisdom teeth out. I'm not fun when I. When I'm on it. I don't like it. It's sad. I want to be, like, crazy. But I just. I wake up mean.

[C]

Oh, I wake up. I attacked when I got my leg surgery. When I got my ankle work done, I woke up and tried to, like, fight two nurses.

[D]

Holy shit.

[C]

I don't remember it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But, yeah, I was apparently very unpleasant.

[D]

Yeah. I remember my. My. My ex picked me up from my. The last surgery that I had, like, three years ago, and he, like, had the camera ready. He was so excited. He was like, this is going to be so funny. She's going to be so silly, because I'm a happy person normally. He was like, when we give her the juice, it's going to be great. And I was just like, get the fuck out of my. Like, I turned into a demon. I was just mean, ruin. The whole time.

[C]

All I remember about anesthesia is the doctor was like, all right, I'm going to have you count back from town. Back from 100. Whatever he says. And there was a beeping machine. And I went, I don't think it works. And then the beeping became funky Town. I literally went, I don't think it, but. And then I was gone.

[A]

Yeah, dude.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I got anesthesia once when I was getting my wisdom teeth taken out, and I remember I was wearing a Chad Johnson jersey, and the guy was telling. He's like, you like the Bengals? Oh, yeah. And I was like, yeah. And then I was fucking. But I do remember one part in the middle. There was one part in the surgery where I remember they were in there and a crunch, and I winced. And then I think they were like, turn the gas up on this kid.

[D]

Fucking get him out with wisdom teeth. It's not like the. Like, it's not general anesthesia. It's. I forget what the name is for it, but it's not like you're fully. Like, they're not controlling your temperature and shit.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

So it's a little bit lighter, but it's still, like, you don't have the memory of it. Anesthesia is so weird. It's so freaky.

[C]

I. I will say, in the last few years, my racism has changed.

[E]

Okay?

[C]

Now my number one thing.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

That I probably would be like, that. Is Russian doctors.

[A]

Russia.

[C]

Especially Russian female dentists.

[A]

Yeah, no, that.

[C]

I got my.

[D]

Do that.

[C]

I got my. One of my wisdom teeth taken out.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And first I get in the chair. She goes, well, you are too heavy for anesthesia, I am afraid. Sleep apnea. And I'm like, okay. So she goes, no, no, no. You stay awake. And I'm like, all right.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

This bitch gives me three shots on the third. The worst bedside manner in the history of dentistom.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Goes, this will hurt a lot. And just jams this fucking cocksucker needle into the roof of my mouth. And I remember, like. And then she just takes pliers and put a rubber thing on the other side of my mouth. Stood up on the chair and put one foot on my thigh and took my wisdom, twisted it out. And I was like, you used plier? I could have done that.

[E]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I could do this at home. I would have saved a lot of money actually.

[D]

Pliers. Have you seen the spatula scar on my chest?

[C]

Pliers. Are you fucking nuts? I thought there was gonna be tools.

[D]

Yeah, I think it depends if they're, like, impact. Like, if they're impacted.

[C]

I just cracked both mine.

[D]

Okay, so then that's.

[C]

Oh, it was fucking brutal.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

No Russian for anything other than, like, Mob duty. I'm not really going to. You don't want to go to Russians for, like, food? No, like comfort.

[D]

Anything with comfort.

[A]

Landlord.

[D]

That's not them.

[E]

No.

[A]

Yeah, anything comfort.

[C]

No.

[A]

I like. My big racism is I go Chinese on anything, like, mystic y. Like, acupuncture, Chinese, massage, Chinese.

[D]

Can I tell you how my racism.

[A]

Mogwai.

[C]

Buying a mogwai.

[A]

Yeah. Is that what that is?

[C]

No, no, that's what gremlins are.

[A]

Oh, gremlins. Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Buying a mogwai Chinese.

[D]

My racism got me with the mystic shit recently. Forgive me, because I did say this on Shaner's podcast yesterday. So I. I tried to employ what I thought was a Nigerian witch okay to do. And I think she may have just been a grifter. I think she may have just been scamming me out of my money because I was like, all right, I want it. This is embarrassing. But I was like, I want to do some spells to get my ex back.

[C]

Okay?

[D]

And so the first couple were. I was like, all right, I vibe with this whatever. It was like, sea salt and cloves and water, and then you have to. Then you have to, like, bathe in the water. And then there was, like, one where you have to. The next one was like, all right, now put three cloves in your mouth for, like, seven minutes.

[C]

Do you remember your first problem was you went to a Nigerian woman on how to bathe and eat food?

[D]

Well, it gets worse, because then she was like, all right, now there's four steps, and we're on step three. And step three was where I like.

[C]

Step three, don't get aids.

[D]

Step three was. She was like, all right, there's two ingredients in this spell, and what you do is you gotta take cinnamon. It has to be organic cinnamon. And then your first urine of the day.

[C]

Okay?

[D]

And then you. You wash your face with that.

[A]

Did you wash your face with.

[D]

I got halfway through washing my face with piss and cinnamon, and then I caught my eye in the mirror, and I was like, I think this bitch might just be scamming me.

[A]

I think none of this is like.

[D]

She'S just getting reparations. She's just seeing what this dumb white lady will do. And it turns out this piss and.

[C]

Cinnamon sound like two faces, two girlfriends in Batman.

[A]

This is cinnamon, and this is piss.

[D]

Piss God.

[C]

Yeah. One's like a French weed. The other's just a biker chick. Yeah, dude, it's my girlfriend. Cinnamon and piss.

[A]

Cinnamon and piss.

[C]

You watch.

[D]

I washed half my face like, I was Harvey Dent in with piss and cinnamon. And then I was like, oh, no, what am I? This. I've been had.

[A]

And I got. I gotta.

[E]

I got.

[A]

I gotta invest.

[C]

What did you see?

[D]

Also, in a bottle. Also, this is just an aside. I took a vyvanse this morning, and then I stacked this on top of it somewhere in the middle. Maybe she is a real witch. Maybe it was that combination of stimulants. Because as I was telling that, my heart just, like, the beats increased to like, 200aminute. That was a weird feeling. Maybe she's a real witch.

[C]

So you pissed in, like, a. Just a water bottle.

[D]

Yeah. Pissed in a water bottle.

[C]

I pictured a bowl.

[A]

You're going. You're going. This lady.

[C]

Splash with it.

[E]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You can, like, dip your face in it kind of.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Going to. The lady is.

[A]

Is already retarded.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Let's acknowledge that first. I did find her on TikTok.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

You found a Nigerian witch on TikTok who told you to put piss on your face, and you're going with cinnamon. Maybe I'm getting scammed. I'm unsure.

[D]

Well, no, I went. Okay, that makes sense to me. She explained the properties of both of those.

[A]

Holy shit.

[D]

Mixed them together. And then I went in my bathroom the next morning and I prayed the way that she told me to.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And then I had the mixture.

[C]

Who's this?

[A]

Ex.

[C]

Who's.

[A]

Why do you want this guy back so bad that you put piss on your own face? Yeah, sorry, Zach, I'm hijacking. This is. There's so many.

[E]

Remember?

[C]

I believe what I said was, some days it's easy.

[A]

Yeah, dude, this is easy.

[C]

And this moron comes in.

[D]

Yeah. Pissing cinnamon.

[C]

Piss and cinnamon, my face. And I don't think it works. I'm starting to think. I'm starting to think I've been had.

[D]

I don't know. I'm going to try step four.

[A]

What's step four?

[D]

Well, step four is you put shit and nutmeg. Step four is substantially more benign. Step four is load some cloves into a cinnamon stick and then burn and, like, wash your hands in salt and then burn that and walk around your house. Have you tried three?

[A]

Have you tried texting?

[D]

I'm blocked.

[A]

You're blocked?

[D]

So that's.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

What did you do?

[D]

Okay, so I. We dated for five years.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And I got encephalitis from, like, a freak met. That means your brain swelling. So. Freak medical situation.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And then I was essentially going crazy. Yeah.

[C]

Isn't it weird how hot girls get the weirdest disease.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So nice of you to say.

[C]

Isn't it so weird how hot girls are always at, like, in and out of the hospital?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I think. I think it's the. The damages of being hot.

[C]

It really isn't that crazy.

[A]

Nothing's free in life, Zach.

[C]

Nothing's crazy.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

It's funny because I am a hypochondriac, and usually nothing is wrong, but in this case, something was very wrong, and I was. So basically, I was over, and I started to not act like myself for a couple of months in an increasingly disturbing way.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And then October hit and it got really bad. And then he. We were in Italy. I flew home for a wedding, for just a weekend, and then I was supposed to fly back. While I was home, he called me and he's like, yeah, I can't do this anymore. Like, yeah, I don't recognize you. Like, this is not my girlfriend.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And so then I was like, I'm coming back. And so I went back to Italy. We talked a little bit, and then from election night to the day before Thanksgiving.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I have, like, four memories. Oh, that whole time is, like, blacked out.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

But what I know was I. I was out of my fucking tree. I was stalking him. I was running around Palermo, Sicily. Just a jacket. Nothing else on to speak of. Just a jacket. God bless that Europeans take their privacy so seriously. So nobody, like, films you over there when you're losing your mind?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

There should be a hundred viral videos of me just gallivanting. Just. And it's a long jacket, but, like.

[A]

But you could tell. Do you have shoes on?

[D]

Yes, I had the same pair of shoes on. I think I slept in them. That was weird. I kept taking pictures of my feet and my shoes. I don't know what I was trying to capture there.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Fully losing my mind. Tried to kill myself, like, three times. Not depressed at all. Never had any kind of ideation of suicide, but I was just like, I have to jump off this balcony. And I fought Italian police. Turns out I can struggle against five Italian cops.

[A]

Yeah, the Italians are soft.

[D]

Which.

[A]

Well, also one American chick versus five Italian cops.

[D]

So I'm losing my shit. And I feel bad because I've talked about this on Shannon's podcast. Like, I've talked about this a fair amount at this point, but at one point, I. My. He. My ex notified my family. He's like, something's going on. She's lost her shit. And my best friend. Sorry, I keep Doing it.

[A]

No, no, you're good.

[D]

My best friend is, like, freaking out, and she's, you know, doing everything that she can from over here to try. And they're like, we got to get her home. Like, we can't. We're not there. And so my best friend, like, called the police as they had me. I think I was. Second suicide attempt at this point.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And they had me, and they were like, all right, well, we're gonna let her go. And she's like, you can't let her. Like, something is wrong. You have to hold her. At least until we'll fly there, we'll get her, but you have to hold her. And they were like, this is just a woman. This is. Sometimes That's a direct fucking quote.

[A]

The Italians were like, directly. You never seen a broad before?

[D]

Literally, they went, this is just a one. She is heartbroken. This is a woman. This is heartbroken chick fucking.

[C]

No.

[A]

Literally, no pants, no underwear, trying to jump off a balcony. Been here, seen that shit.

[D]

Fighting cops.

[C]

This is what we say in our country is, you're a problem.

[D]

I learned the other day. I learned the other day that apparently in Palermo, a lot of them have body cam footage. I don't know how to get it.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know if it exists. I'm gonna try everything in my power to get that. To get it. Apparently. Apparently, this is a story that I've been told during my altercation with the police, because I speak a fair amount of Italian, enough to get by. So one of them saying something, and I, like, shouted back in Italian. And then I was yelling at him, and I was like, yeah, I speak two languages, bitch. And he looked at me, and he was Arab, and he was like, speak Arabic. And I was like, israel forever, you fucking bit. Like, I just went on a whole thing. I was like, fucking. I just. I don't know. I was out of my goddamn mind. I want to make that clear. But I was, like, heinously racist and everything. I was like, attack. I don't.

[C]

I want to know what that story says more about Italian men or Italian women. Yeah, well, they were like, come on.

[A]

Yeah, this is chicks, man. Dude, that. That cop was like, we gotta undo this real quick.

[C]

Turn off your body, kid. We got some unju.

[D]

And my ex was Jewish, so, yeah, so that it was.

[A]

And then how did you find out your brain? They what? They did some tests.

[D]

No, so not there. So I tried to kill myself a third time at that point. My ex was like, yeah, I can't take this Like, I have to go.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Like this is the craziest thing in the world. And I think I was probably trying to go after him as well.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I have not. I haven't talked to him since this. So I have not been able to confirm that.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Some of the stories that I've heard, it sounds like I may have tried to do something to him. So he was like, I. I have to leave.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And then I won't say who, but I called, I was in the hospital over there. I called a comedian friend of all of ours and I was like, I have to kill myself. And he was like, okay, hang on. Like I.

[C]

Not those words exactly.

[D]

But he basically, he like talked me down for. And I don't remember what he said, but he talked me down. And then I was like, well, I can't even get home. Like, I don't. He was like saying like, oh, no, remember, like you're coming to the shows like this coming or this weekend, like you have to do this. And I was like, well, I can't even get home. And he was like, I'm going to send you $700 for your plane ticket. Just come home. And then, you know, figure out what you got to do from there. And. And he did. And then I guess I boarded the flight home and then when I got back into the US Spent like, I don't even remember the amount but hundreds of dollars on like a 13 stop Uber ride to random addresses. Don't know what I did at those addresses. I, I have no clue why I was going to those places and then finally ended up at my house. When I was at my house, there was a Philly comic waiting there. Took me to the hospital. When I was in the hospital, they were treating it. Initially they were like, all right, clearly this is like schizophrenia or bipolar or something. My saving grace is I'm 30 years old and I don't have a history of. I mean, I'm anxious but like nothing.

[A]

Like, yeah, that stuff doesn't pop up that late.

[D]

Yeah. And nothing in my family, like there's no instance of that. So they were like, it feels weird. Thank God for the woman in the hospital. She ran some tests and she was like, let's just do an mri. They did the mri, they were like, oh, her. Her shit's swollen. And then they found I had a germ cell tumor. No, a teratoma on one of my ovaries. And basically that's non cancerous, but it is a, a tumor of cells that should have been one thing so there should have been ovarian cells. And they were like, what if we went off script? We did something different, and then they. They were like, what if we were teeth? So they grew teeth. And they were like, what if we were hair? And what if we had brain matter? So I had all that. Not like an ectopic pregnancy. It wasn't any. It was me. I was cloning in my fucking ovary. Yeah. Had brain matter there. So when you have. For real. And when you have that. I'm gonna forget the name of the protein. I think it's. It's a combination of letters. I think it's M, D, R, A or M N, R, A. It's something like that, but it's a receptor that's in your brain. And basically when you have something like that, your body releases an autoimmune response.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

To attack that, but it can't differentiate. So it also attacks your brain. And then your brain, as a defense mechanism is like, oh, you're gonna hurt me? I'm just gonna swell up.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So, yeah. So then I was.

[C]

When you see a bear.

[D]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So. But yeah. So then basically the treatment for that is they take out the tumor, which they did, and then they pumped full of steroids, and that calms down the swelling. Thankfully, I. I'm very, very lucky because encephalitis does kill you at some point. Before that, it's permanent brain damage. Before that, it's seizures. I was right. Before that, like, I was right. I was whacked out of my tree.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And I. Honestly, if I had been left to my own devices, I probably would have just jumped off a balcony or something before it got to that level. But I was in a. It was early enough that I've made it out of that with no permanent brain damage. You're still.

[A]

But you are putting piss on your face.

[D]

Still putting piss on my face. I'll say. But I'll say this.

[C]

You are washing your face with piss.

[D]

I believed in witches and I believed in psychics before any of this. Before this. The only difference. And I'm not saying that people who like sports are dumb. I am just saying I. I didn't care about sports until I got a little brain damaged. Became a football fan.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. Became a football fan.

[A]

What's this dude's name? We don't have to go.

[D]

My ex. Yeah, I'll say that. No, no, no.

[A]

But, buddy, dude, she went through it. I think he. She.

[D]

But he doesn't. He.

[A]

So does he not know that you Had.

[D]

He doesn't know the full extent of that. I. From what I understand, he knows that there was, like, a tumor and that's kind of what caused things, but he doesn't know the full ins and outs of it. My whole thing with it is I have. I could technically reach out. Like, there's. Yeah, I'm blocked on, like, my cell phone's blocked, but, like, there's ways that I could reach out.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

That had to be so traumatic.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

That, like, if ever he is willing to reach out and discuss it, Absolutely. We can go from there. I don't want to be the one to do that and possibly, like, bring him because it's. That's. It's. It feels weird not ever being able to apologize or clear the air. But that is a selfish thing on my end that, like, that's what I want doing. That could, like, reactivate all that shit. I have no idea the ins and outs of what happened or what I did when I was there. So I don't know what he saw. It was probably very traumatic. So I don't give him any blame for not reaching out, but I'm like. I would love him to reach out. So then the witch comes into play.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And so then I put piss and cinnamon on my face to try and bring my ex back. All I've gotten so far is I've broken out and I also have ants.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

That's.

[A]

You know what?

[D]

Not ideal.

[A]

Didn't think.

[C]

What are the ants from?

[D]

I think from leaving cinnamon all over the place.

[A]

Yeah. Cinnamon's not sweet, though.

[E]

It's a.

[A]

It's a. Yeah. Spice.

[C]

I think this might be a separate issue. The ants might be a separate issue.

[D]

Ants could be to the brain damage.

[C]

Can I be honest with you? 50 50. If the ants exist.

[D]

I was hallucinating at that point.

[A]

I love the idea of him showing up at your house and, like, with the doors unlocking. He walks in and you're like, jason, or whatever his name is, and you have piss on cinnamon all over your face.

[D]

I was like, hi. Oh, shit. That bitch works.

[C]

She's just pissing in a bottle with a spoonful of cinnamon in her hand. Crouch down like a gargoyle. Bill, you've been y. I was. I thought you're great.

[A]

I thought you were better. No, I'm better and better and better. I swear to God.

[C]

Don't worry. A Nigerian witch told me on TikTok to do this.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And you know what? Shockingly, putting piss on my face, still less embarrassing than the fucking the debate that I did on Friday. Still.

[A]

What's this debate? I don't know this debate.

[C]

Josie got smoked. Smoked.

[A]

What was the debate?

[D]

Did you see any of it?

[A]

No.

[D]

You saw it?

[C]

I thought a little.

[D]

Terrific. Yeah. Okay. And I'll just watch the whole thing.

[C]

Let me say this in Josie's defense.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Sometimes as public performers.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

We mistake being well spoken and comfortable with being intelligent.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I made that mistake for a very long time.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Where I thought I was pretty fucking smart.

[D]

So I'll say this, actually, I'll correct you on that. I was not under the impression that I was intelligent.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I was under the impression that he was equally as dumb.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

And it turns out this is his special interest.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I can retain a lot of facts I get when I'm interested in something. I could tell you anything you want about a lot of different areas of history. I know all the world's flags, love geography, all that shit.

[C]

When that meant fuck all, that was the debate.

[D]

Okay. So please, to give you the sort of exposition. A couple months back, the. I don't know if you're familiar, but the whatever podcast reached out to me.

[A]

Oh, you went on whatever. Oh, that's a scam.

[D]

Well, I went on whatever and it was a scam. They flew me first class and then they put me up in a hostel. Them.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

But so I went out to Santa Barbara and I did that. I did the show. I. My impression or my plan going into that.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Was they don't realize I'm a comedian cuz I cosplay and stuff. So I'm like, they think I'm a Internet. Yeah, fine. I'm gonna go in, I'm gonna be a comedian and just turn the whole thing into a joke. That was my plan. I was prepped for that. I get there, they make me sign an appearance release.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And the appearance release was like, if you troll or turn this into a joke, we reserve the right to fine you $10,000.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Now in hindsight, I don't know how the fuck you would litigate against that. Like, I don't know how they would actually. Like, trolling is not a real thing that you can like point to in a court of law. I. I probably would.

[A]

No, the whole thing's a scam. They position themselves like they're like, oh, we're making. We're making the world a better place kind of thing. Like, oh, all these people are immoral when they're predators. They're preying on everyone who comes onto that podcast.

[D]

And so that was.

[C]

And now a representative for women for the. For the day. Sitting in the face. Piss breath.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, so I did. Even without being a. Like, I did the whatever podcast without really being a comic, like, I just went through it, but, you know, everybody else at the table is retarded. So I was able to get through, like, I got some clips out of it, whatever. Like, that's not the sphere of anything that I want to go into. That was just an opportunity that presented itself. So then after that, I did piss some people off, and I had cinnamon them. I cinnamon some people off. I had. Somebody tweeted at me and was like, if. Because this guy, Andrew Wilson, who is often a co host on the show Paleo, conservative, Christian, national, like, dude, he's often on the show, but he wasn't on my episode, okay? And so somebody tweeted and was like, if he was on that episode, he would have fucking smoked you. And I was like, I'm not scared of that grifting bitch. And like, that was that. And then for a month, that was it. And then somebody else saw that tweet, tagged him, and was like, christian, look. Or andrew, look, she's talking shit. And I just said to that guy, as an aside, I was like, hey, man, I know that you're appealing to him and you want him to come and, like, own me. I'm gonna be real with you. He doesn't give a fuck about you. I'm like, this dude is a grifter. You don't mean anything to him, and I'm sorry to tell you that. And then he saw that, and he was like, actually, you fucking bitch. How about you not pretend like you know what's going on in my head? You would never say any of this shit to my face in a debate. Now, one of my biggest problems in life is that I can't walk away from a challenge or a conflict. I just. So I saw that, and I was like, I'll say that to your face in a debate. I don't give a fuck. And then I did. So we scheduled a debate, and I sat right where you're sitting last Friday, and we did a livestream 1v1 debate. Now, the debate was supposed to be on the topics of secularism, which I actually am kind of informed about.

[A]

What is secularism?

[D]

Secularism is whether the nation state, or secularism is staying away from religion in terms of, like, a government organization. So the government and the religions are their separation of church and state, essentially. So I know a bit about that. And Then feminism. Fair enough. Well, read on that subject. And then the topic of him being a grifter because I publicly claimed you're a grifting bitch. I know that because I work in entertainment, because I've worked in. In reality TV.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

For like six years. And I've worked in TV and movies for a total of 14.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I know a lying piece of bullshit when I see it.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I realized, first of all, before the debate, I was nervous. Everybody in my life, comics that I respect, Dave Smith himself, my own mother, were like, hey, don't do that. Don't do this. You should not. You should. This is a bad idea.

[A]

Yeah. Well, because this is what he does.

[D]

Like, this is what he does.

[A]

It was. It would be like if. If you were like, hey, come do like 20 minutes of stand up after I do 20 minutes of sound. Like you have to follow me.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Kind of thing. It's like you're going into his realm this way. He does every day.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So.

[C]

And when Dave Smith's like, hey, don't do that. That's a conniving grifter.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

That's like, he's good. You like, he is a grifter, but he's a good grifting, good at what he does.

[D]

He's a hell of a debater. Yeah. So I was nervous, and before I came in here, I got higher than the fucking grocery bill, and that was not a good strategy. So I already was at a disadvantage. And then. So I had to read an opening statement. I've never debated anything.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Had to read an opening statement. I wrote my opening statement down, like, in my handwriting, and then I forgot my fucking glasses and I couldn't read my writing. So I'm fumbling through the opening statement. That's embarrassing enough. We're off to a bad start.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Then I make the claim. I'm like, you're a grifter. Like, you are lying. You're not. You don't believe this shit.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

You're just trying to make money.

[D]

Quick buck.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And you're doing it through a way that I think is kind of reprehensible because you're making these people like, you're stoking up your audience.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And some of them are violent. Some of them are actually fucking crazy because they're getting this, like, parasocial tribe mentality.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And he was like, what's your evidence for that? And as soon as he said that, I was like, well, I don't have any. I'm. I'm Bringing intuition to a fact fight, apparently. And so then he was like asking me different questions. Now here's the problem. I. If I'm backed into a corner, apparently I will panic and lie. And I am a horrific liar. Yeah, you see it on my face. My voice goes up. It's bad. So he, he. There were two big lies that I told. And one is honestly more embarrassing than the other, though it should be the other way around. The most embarrassing thing was that he was like, you know, I again, did not crack jokes throughout this. I was like, I'm gonna be respectful. Because he said initially, he was like, all she's gonna do is troll and crack jokes. I've been here before. And I was like, no, I'll be a hundred percent respectful and I will not even, I won't even insult you personally. Of course. He said everything under the sun. He was like, you're fat, you're ugly, you're a failed, unfunny comedian. So he kept harping on failed. He was like, I know you've had like just a stream of failures in your career. And I was like, I'm actually doing okay. Like I've. I'm a successful TV producer as my day job. That's awesome. Can't tell you what show I work for cuz I sign a fucking NDA, so that doesn't look good. And then, yeah, I'm. You've never heard of me in comedy. I am a nobody in comedy, but I'm three years in. I feel like I'm doing okay. Like for three years, I am very comfortable with where I'm at and I am comfortable with my progress. That would have been a great way to phrase that. Instead it came out as, yeah, I mean, I do sold out shows all the time. Which, yes, sometimes I feature for sold out show or host for it, but I phrased it as, I do sold out shows all the time. I just did sold out shows last weekend. Did I? As a guest spot? Sure. Very embarrassing to be like, nah, dude, I'm totally killing it. I'm a headlining comedian. And that is, that's not a good look. So I was very embarrassed by that.

[C]

And he says, we have body cam footage right here of you in Italy running through the streets, running through Rome with your pussy out. Is this what a headliner looks to you?

[D]

It's like, you were there, dude.

[A]

I've had a couple of friends do it and every time they're like, I'm doing the whatever product, I'm like, why? Why? It's obviously A scale. Like, it's a sudden. They. They do shit. Like, they make you. You get there and they're like, oh, yeah. You know, they. A lot of people, they frame it like it's going to be fun. You know, it's just like, it's a good time.

[D]

He framed it like that. And I knew that that was bullshit.

[A]

And then you get there and they just basically show you the whole time. And they also. They're like, you'll get paid unless you leave early. And they.

[D]

Early is like $0.00.0. They didn't pay anything.

[A]

Oh, they didn't pay you any.

[D]

And I stayed all nine hours and. Nine hours.

[A]

They do it for nine hours.

[D]

Nine hours, 19 minutes, 27 seconds. Suck my. And the. Yes. Not this livestream. This was two hours.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

When I went out to California and did whatever. Nine hours, 19.

[A]

Because the whole thing is, if you leave early, then they get to go, oh, look, we beat you in the debate. It's like, no, I don't want to sit here for nine hours.

[D]

I was in this chair doing the debate for two and a half hours. I said from the beginning.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

My train out of New York back to Philadelphia leaves at 12:11am I got to be out of the studio by 11:35.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I left at 11:40.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And they still. They were, oh, she's fudgeing, leaving. She's running away. I'm like, I have a heart out. I don't know what the fudgeing tell you.

[E]

I got to go.

[A]

I got to go.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So it is a while. It's a weird thing they do where it's like that. That's how they can make it look like they beat you in the debate.

[D]

Well, he did me in the debate.

[C]

He does sounds like trying to have a conversation with a girl. It's like, I did porn, and it was the worst experience of my life. I'm like, yeah. Did you sign up for facial abuse?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. It's like, just don't do it.

[C]

When the magic Marker and the spoon came out. I don't think he's going to treat me like a lady today.

[D]

The other horribly embarrassing thing, you know that thing that you do? Everybody does it when somebody's like, have you seen this movie? And then you. You lie and you're like, yeah, of course. And then they'll like. They'll be like, oh, would you like this part when he does this? And you kind of have to, like, laugh through it? Like, that's real. Yeah, So I did. But with military Service. I stole valor in the middle of this podcast. Don't know if you guys. Not entirely. I didn't say, like, I'm a lance corporal or like, I was in the military. Like, I didn't say I was in the Marines.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

But one of my arguments was, hey, you're like, this is a grift. Because you are. You're stoking people into thinking that we're in some sort of battle. Like, even his course that he sells, it's verbal combat.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So I'm like, you're using language to make it seem like we are at a war. You're creating like a desperation.

[A]

Yeah. People think it's a cult. The culture war.

[D]

Yeah. And so. And so they really will kind of follow you into it where they're like, stoked up.

[C]

Now you're considering a course called Verbal Dingbat.

[D]

Yeah, baby, I can say that. Let me tell you. So he said he was like, well, we are in an ideological war. And I was like, we're just not. Like, it's not that bad out there. And he was like, actually, more people have been killed in Chicago per day than in Afghanistan. Which, funny enough, he got one thing wrong in the entire debate, and it was that. That was the statistic that he got wrong. But I didn't know that. I had no way to look it up. So that is not true. But he was like. Or my counter. I was like, it's not. Shut up. Like, you know, it's not that bad. I've been to Chicago and what I should have said, what I would have said if I didn't feel like I was. I don't know. If I wasn't stressed, my logical brain would go, I have been to war torn countries. Like, the aftermath of that. I've been through almost all of. All of Central America and then almost all of South America. I have seen what happens as a result of war and how dangerous it is even years after the fact. Like, and it's. It doesn't compare to what we have here in the United States. It's just not the same.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

What I said was, I've been to war zones. And then he was like, what war zones have you been to? And instead of saying exactly what I just said, I went Syria, Yemen and Israel. Never. Italy is the closest I've been to any of those places.

[C]

And that went poorly.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. And I was in a war. In my own mind, it was a.

[C]

War zone, but only because of you.

[D]

Because I was ripping through it.

[C]

I was in Rome in the Shit. I saw a woman run by wearing only a jacket, Shoes in a jacket, Pussy flapped in the wind. Took five police officers to take her down. In fairness, she stunk like piss and sitting. I said, war is hell.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude, this is a bad idea. Like, you've told me two things.

[D]

I've been doxed all weekend. Somebody at one point sent me a photo of my house from the outside.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Turns out he just got it from Google Maps. Freaked me out enough that I was like, it's time to call the cops. That's great.

[A]

It's like you just don't interact with these people. Like, that's the thing is because their world is actually. They, like, they have clips that go viral and stuff sometimes, but it's a really. Like, a microcosm. Like, there's the people who even know what the. Whatever podcast is. Like, we know kind of because we're in entertainment and in podcasting.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But like, the average. Like, even my friends who are, like, chronically online, like, my. If I went asking my boys who are like, in my age, not just, like, older people, more suburban people, they have no idea what the fuck that thing is. It's like, it's a very, very, very, very small community of people who interact with it and care about it. And so you just, like, ignore it?

[D]

No. I dove headfirst, and then as the ship was thinking sinking, I just kept steering the wheel.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And yeah, I would say this.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

As much as it sucks right now, it's actually probably dying down. Oh, yeah. Every single time you go to bed, you will be less concerned with it. And then there will be a day where you guys. I didn't think about that all day, honestly. The shame of it. Yeah, it's already gone.

[D]

The doxing has stopped. That has.

[C]

When I. I went after. I said some shit about fucking Red Bar and he pushed my in, man. He just fucking. Oh, he ate me a lot. I could. I fucking. I really that one up. And he. And he just hurt my feet because he's so good at saying what you hate about you.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And he's just so goddamn good.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And he. Yeah, he just bent me over a barrel and fucking pushed my shitter in, dude. And yeah, it was one of those things where I was so upset about it, and now I'm like, ah, I didn't even. You get got sometimes.

[A]

I didn't even know. I. Is he on YouTube? Like, where is.

[C]

He's got his own thing.

[A]

Yeah, it's his own. So even to watch it, you have to like, go your way. It's like it doesn't even exist. And.

[C]

Yeah, but I mean, I was just getting so many messages and like, they were killing me. And at a certain point I went, you know what? For all the shit I've put people through.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And the crazy shit I've said, I. This is a well deserved.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

Knocking down. Like I was. I was flying too close to the sun on that one.

[A]

I love it when someone says something fucking like. I don't get a lot of hate messages, but when I do, I think it's so funny.

[D]

Some of them have been hilarious. There was one guy last night who commented on a YouTube video that I have not even. It's just a cosplay video. I don't have any of my stand up on YouTube.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And he was like, you're so unfunny. You will never be funny. I did eight minutes of unprepared material at an open mic last night and I got more laughs than you ever will. And I clicked on a profile just to see kind of like what I was working with. He posts his open mic sets on.

[A]

No.

[D]

On his YouTube and I got to watch it. And I was like, that was the most brutal nine minutes I've ever seen in my life.

[A]

God.

[D]

So number one, it was nice to be like, oh, yeah, that's who's coming.

[A]

That's it. Yeah.

[D]

The other piece of me was like, he named the venue and a flight to South Carolina is $150 round trip. And I am crazy enough. Do I go to the soap in my. I'm crazy enough. Let's go.

[C]

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[A]

Dude, that's the. That's the thing is like, when you. Someone posted a thing once, this, like, one fitness guy looked at one of his comments and it was this guy, like, critiquing, like, oh, you're. You can't. This is bullshit. You can't actually lift. And he went and looked at the guy's profile and it was this like, super skinny string bean dude who was like, covered in tattoos and was like a walk. And he's like, this is the guy who's critiquing my fitness.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Shit. It's like these. The people don't. They're not real. They're not real.

[D]

None of it's real.

[A]

None of it's real.

[D]

None of it is real.

[A]

Just do whatever you want to do. And then whatever backlash you get is like, who gives a fudge? Like, I don't know. It's. Who cares?

[D]

Especially when it's like, I don't want to be Dave Smith. I don't want to get into the debate space. Like, that's not.

[A]

And also these people, that's like the. Their job, like Red Bar or, I.

[D]

Don'T know, Andrew Wilson.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Their job is to, like, shit on people. And so that's what they do. And then they'll just like, like. And if you engage, then. Then that's really what they want because then it's like, oh, now we have a story. Now we have stuff going back and forth. If you ignore it, people shit on you and then you never respond.

[D]

It just.

[A]

It's not fun. And then it just goes away.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, well, you just.

[D]

He's already fighting with another. He's fighting with a guy named Owen Benjamin. They're good.

[C]

They deserve each other.

[A]

Why does Owen Benjamin sound familiar?

[C]

He used to. He was a comic for a long time, and then he moved to the woods. Like a piano comic.

[A]

I don't.

[E]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

And then he went crazy hard. Like.

[D]

Yeah, they're friend. They're both conservative, but yeah.

[A]

Jake Shields, one of the greatest grapplers of all time.

[D]

It's like a snake eating its own tail. Like they're hating each other for different reasons, I guess. I don't know.

[A]

See, it's like. I don't know. The. What I think everyone needs to realize this is. My big stance is like that. This dude Andrew Wilson fudgeing you. The. Whoever. Like, the chicks they have on the Podcast, the host of the podcast. We're all on the same side, where everyone's on the same side. There's a small contingency of people that make us want to think that we're all against each other. They're poisoning the food. They're buying up all the fucking real estate. They're fucking monitoring all your shit. They're taking all your data. We're all on the same. It doesn't matter if you're pro abortion, anti abortion, pro gun, anti gun. We're all on the same side, a small group of people. Like, even if you're like a. If you're the worst racist in the world and you're on your I'm. And it's me, we're. We got a team up and we got to fuck with that. And then we can argue about whether or not porn is ruining the world. Then we can get into the rest of it. Right now, let's focus on the important shit, which is like multi trillion dollar corporations destroying everyone's.

[D]

Dude, I never own a house.

[C]

I was just reading how much real estate in Manhattan is empty.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Like when you look out and see how many places never have lights on.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's because billionaires in these companies just eat up buildings.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And then don't put anybody in them and sit on them.

[A]

Sit on them. Sit up. It's like an investment. It's an investment.

[C]

So it's crazy that, like, nobody lives in Manhattan.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like, it's like. Okay, so we're going to argue. We're going to argue about whatever. Fucking about feminism. Fuck that, dude. Yeah, let's. Let's fudgeing. Start getting the guillotines out, chopping the heads off. Then once all the heads have rolled, then we can be like black people or whatever, Asian people or whatever. White people or whatever. But in the meantime, we're all on each other's side. Wrong.

[C]

If you have an empty building, that's a happy super.

[A]

That is. Yeah, it is a happy super.

[C]

Or he must hate the one. The one old lady that's still there.

[A]

She's never left. Sure. Her rent's fucking 1500 bucks.

[D]

And that bitch complains about everything.

[A]

Oh, yeah, dude, you need an old Jewish lady in your building. You need it, dude. An old Jewish lady in your building. Make sure everything runs right. I have an old Jewish lady in my building. She's on their ass all the time. The front door is always fixed. The front door, like digital doorman was fucked. Fixed the top of the building where there was like, weird shit with the fan and the ventilation fixed. All of her. She's on it. She's putting up signs. She's doing shit. I'm like this. She. She makes sure the building is good. Dude, you need an old Jewish lady in your building.

[C]

I'm getting nervous. I think words out in my building that I do something in entertainment.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Because I've taught. There's a wrestling manager from ECW that lives in my building. Talk. But then I think somebody else saw me on something and mentioned to me in the elevator.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And I have one of my neighbors is like. It's a floor below me is his family, but they have little kids.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And this kid came in the elevator. I saw you on Google. And I looked at his mom. I went, whatever it was, I'm sorry.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And she goes, no, we all looked you up. We heard in the building there's a big comedian. I think the words going around and oh, boy.

[A]

I saw you.

[C]

Ain't looking forward to it. Because I'm friends with like, three black guys in the building. Just think I'm friendly as shit. Not that I'm making up for. For stuff I say every day, dude.

[A]

No, but I think you've made fun of all people equally, dude.

[C]

But I think if you would have to see a very limited amount of clips.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

To think that I have hatred behind any of the crazy.

[E]

I say, yeah. Yeah.

[C]

One or two things would be pretty bad.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

But, hey, what are you going to do?

[A]

No, I feel.

[C]

Well, this definitely won't be one of those. Psycho Charlotte train. Suspect reveals motive for slaughtering Ukrainian refugee. Oh, yeah.

[A]

What's all about. I've just started hearing about this.

[C]

All right. So this has been all over my shit.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's fucking nuts. So this guy's got 14 arrests on him.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

His. From what I've heard, the mom took him for testing. He went to jail for robbery. Came back not well.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And he got diagnosed schizophrenic.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And he's been wandering the streets, just.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Not well.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And so it's literally just light rail in Charlotte. He's sitting behind a chick. She's on her phone.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And he's. You watch him open the pocket knife. Take a look at it. And then he stands up and just kills her.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And nobody gets up.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

One guy goes over to help her.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

After the commotion.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

But I mean, the guy just walks off the fucking train.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's one of those crazy Things like, you're just hearing about this, right?

[A]

Well, I just started seeing it on my timeline and they were like, no one's reporting on it. Back to what the fuck I was talking about before that. If they're trying to make this. Because I saw there was like an re. Immigration. They were trying to say it's an issue of some. Of some fucking political thing. This is like. Because they fucked the health care system.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There's nowhere for fucking people with mental health issues to go and get help or go to, like a mental health facility or.

[C]

It's a bail issue as well.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

14 arrest. How's this guy getting out?

[A]

Exactly. So it's like the. It's like, dude, the top guys don't make this an issue of, like, race or anything. It's this fucking top shit again. Anyways, please continue.

[C]

So, yes, I guess he has revealed his motivation. And I think, in all honesty, this will hold up in court. Shannon.

[F]

He believed that the girl who he killed was able to read his mind.

[A]

Oh, shit. I got that high before.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I guess in. He had went to a health care facility and said that people were controlling him through his. Whatever he ate.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Not wrong. Not wrong. He's not wrong.

[F]

He also said the government implanted a chip in him.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, the one other thing he also. His sister, who is kind of black.

[C]

It was a barbecue trip.

[F]

His sister, who's defending him. He was also charged with assaulting her in 2022. And he attacked her and bit her and broke her door.

[A]

It's like, this guy should have been in a mental health facility, dude. Like, this is like. The system's fucked up, bro.

[C]

I agree. And it's really fucking horrendous. But the one of the reason people are mad that it's not getting more attention is the mayor of Charlotte.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

This is discouraging the video from being released.

[A]

Okay. Why?

[C]

Because she says it will. It will stoke fires of racial stuff.

[A]

Oh, racial stuff.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

This is just a black guy. This is what they do. This is just a black guy.

[A]

It's a mental, mental, fucking health issue.

[C]

I mean, I'm just saying, if you. A Marine was standing behind him and choked him out instead of him stabbing the lady.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

We'd all know his fucking. Fucking.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Al Sharpton be fucking telling us about it on the goddamn news.

[A]

But this poor woman, so funny, uniform, fucking Ukrainian.

[D]

Like, immigrant. Like, escape the war. Escape the war and then just gets fucking.

[A]

Welcome to the American health care system.

[D]

On the gun, on the Train.

[C]

Fucking brutal, dude.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I watched another fucking.

[D]

The execution in Center City, Philadelphia.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

No, Shannon.

[D]

Oh, this is big news. My dad called me yesterday and was like, I don't want to freak you out. And I'm like, it's a. I watch it. It is a brutal. It's a full blown execution.

[A]

What do you mean by execution?

[D]

They don't know exactly what it is, but the speculation and the reports right now are that these are two homeless people that usually a man and a woman who are like usually seen together and that there was some sort of domestic issue going on. But when you were homeless, the trouble in paradise. So they got into a domestic in like. I don't know how familiar you are with Philly. Center City, of course it's a city. So. But it's like nice. That's like where the tourism is. They think he executed her in front of a Nordstrom rack, if I'm not mistaken. Like, it's not an area where there is crime. Like. And it was a full blown shot her once, I believe in the leg or the back. And she was down and then just like. Right. And she is slumped in the middle of. And it's the middle of the day. It's not even at night. This is like 4pm next to a Nordstrom.

[C]

Where does the homeless guy get a gun?

[D]

So people are saying they think she pulled it out first. But it. I mean, the street you just get. It's Philadelphia. You get a gun, you can get a gun.

[C]

Seems like an expensive thing to get.

[A]

You can buy a gun, barter if it's hers.

[D]

You give enough pussy, you get a gun.

[C]

Yeah, you know what? I didn't think about that.

[A]

You can get a gun at pawn shop.

[D]

Steal it.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Rob a house, take a gun shop.

[C]

And this is. Forgive my ignorance. Can pawn shop sell guns without the waiting period?

[A]

I don't. It depends on the state, but I know some states you can buy a gun pretty easy.

[C]

Shannon, you got this video I'm trying to find.

[F]

I keep seeing like news articles about it. I feel like this one.

[D]

This. Look it up on Twitter. Because the unseen one. Yeah.

[F]

So this one you can't really see.

[D]

Oh, there's one where you see her.

[C]

Oh.

[E]

Oh.

[A]

They're like, oh.

[D]

It's like, no. Well, no, I think maybe you. It's right there. There's two shots. Oh, yeah, here we go. It's about to be two shots.

[C]

Look at that, huh?

[D]

And then second shot and then he's. He's out. Christ. I think maybe they Walk over to her at some point. Yeah. No, I saw it. He leaves. Leaves. He just goes. And they get.

[C]

Business is done.

[E]

Yeah, business is done.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, right by that 7 11.

[D]

Next to the 7 11.

[A]

That's where they are, right?

[C]

I know exactly where they are.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I've been to this block a million times. There we go. Yeah. They walk back over to her and she's just slumped.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

She's done.

[A]

It's game.

[D]

She's toasted.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[D]

I know.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[D]

It's awful. But, yeah, it's like there's a million things we probably could have done to make sure that we got those hobos not on the street killing each other.

[C]

And brought, in all fairness, we did get rid of half of them.

[D]

We did. And that. Well, no, I think. I think that was a three of the two. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

They're thin in their own herd.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude, that is tough.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And Philly. Philly poor is a poor that I was not prepared for. The first time I went, like, out of high school, I saw a guy doing the five Dollar Holla. Selling crack.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But the thing I remember most is he was eating cheese fries with his fingers while selling crack.

[D]

What are you gonna eat him with? A fork.

[C]

And I was like, that really is the Philly special when you get your crack whiz. Or was out. Jesus Christ.

[A]

Dude, it's.

[D]

Yeah. And the thing is, with Philly, it's like, there. Yeah. It's dangerous in some parts. In a lot of parts. But it's dangerous. But it's like, that's. It's mostly. If you're talking murder, that's like gang activity or drug activity.

[C]

I was also in shittiest.

[D]

Yeah, sure. You put North Philly.

[C]

I think so. I was somewhere fucking horrendous.

[D]

Yeah. North Philly is the scariest, I would say, followed by West Philly. Kensington's its own thing. That's sort of a circus.

[C]

We got two more stories I want to do before we get out of here. I'm sorry. This trailer. Very glad you're here for this. I actually would love to have Jay go. I hope they go over this on Skanks with Jay. But here is two female cops.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Attempting to detain a male.

[A]

Oh, I saw this. This is so good. Great. Dude, he's like, what are you doing? Come on, ladies. He's not even trying to.

[C]

They're starting to laugh, too.

[A]

Yeah, you need some judo or something.

[C]

Dude.

[A]

If a lady is gonna be a cop, she better be on enough Royce to have a clit. Like a thumb. Like it's.

[C]

He hasn't even dropped his phone. No.

[A]

Like, what do they. They don't even look like they know how to like take him down. Like go for the legs.

[D]

Shoot. I love that they have edge of 17 playing like, this is such a.

[A]

She's trying to take one of them.

[C]

Trying to single leg them.

[A]

Please. Well, the cops can't do their jobs.

[C]

They cannot subdue a £140 Hispanic guy. But that guy did.

[D]

Oh, that's not even security. That's just a guy.

[A]

Dude. Oh my God.

[C]

Guy at a polo.

[D]

No, it's just a dude.

[C]

What? I would. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that was a guy that was getting 86 from the bar and wouldn't leave.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was. He was probably. They're probably trying to get.

[C]

He was probably hammered.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And man, when the two. That's got to suck. When you have a crime like that, the two lady officers come in, it's like you think, I'm sorry, can you. Like, it would be like calling for a crime. And like two Indian cops come and you're like, come on, man, two Indian cops. This isn't a traffic violation. Can you send real police officers?

[A]

Yeah, no, you need a big dude. You need a guy a little roided out, like he's gonna get the job done. Need the right level. Or you need a dude who, he's like, he can talk the guy down. Like, you ever see the cop who comes in and he's like, he's just like, oh, you know what, buddy? What are we doing? Come on, let's.

[C]

The guy that knows the bartender's name.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Hey, nitty. Sorry. We'll be out of here in a minute, buddy. This isn't. Come on, come on, get out of here.

[A]

They'll make me put you in the back. I'm gonna let you, like, where's your car? Let me drive you home or something. Yeah.

[C]

Or you're the kind of cop that'll let you have a cigarette.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need one of those. Dude. Two ladies.

[C]

Yeah, you can't. They can't be partners.

[A]

No, they can't be partners.

[C]

You gotta have a real cop and a lady.

[A]

Scant dude. He could have taken their gun. That could have. That, that could have been easily. He could have been dual wielding. He could have taken guns from both.

[D]

He was being nice. By not taking.

[C]

He could have killed both of them. Skin the fatter of the two, put her body on her outfit and shown up to work the next day. He could have done a full end of Silence of the lamps in front of everyone else at that restaurant, and.

[A]

They'D be like, whoa, how do we stop him? Dude, this guy's on a tear. You can't lady. Lady cops. Lady cops for, like, traffic stops, because then they can get. They real mean. They're going to be real strict. I don't know. Border patrol.

[C]

You intervene. Yeah, 100%, but yeah. No, not. Not 86. And no, apparently not 86 in a fucking tiny Mexican from a bars.

[A]

You can't do tiny Mexican This.

[D]

When the feminism in my body all gets challenged and I'm like, hey, you can't send two broads.

[A]

Yeah, you can't. There's.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

That's the thing. It's like, it's not that ladies can't be cops. It's like, we got to be understandable.

[D]

About what got to st. Yeah, you on the right.

[C]

If I was a cop, I need someone that can run to be my partner.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[D]

Yeah, right?

[A]

Like, if I have a lady cop partner, I'm starting to dose her with Anavar. That's what's happening. Put Anavar in her coffee. She's getting on that a good cycle. We're gonna get her big. She's gonna get aggressive and stuff.

[D]

Like dyke firefighter chicks. I'm like, I would trust you to pull me out of a house. That's fine. If you're a cop, you should be able to do that, too. Which also, I'll say. There's plenty of paunchy, fat, slow male cops, of course. Probably couldn't take that down, but no.

[C]

They might have fat strength, though.

[A]

Yeah, there's fat strength. That's true. Fat strength is a real thing with those ladies.

[D]

Just had, like. Like, bitchy energy they didn't even have.

[A]

Your shirt needs to fit tight if you're a cop. It needs to be. Anyway. It was snug on you. Yeah, you can't have that. There's so much arm space for her. She's got, like. She got thin arms.

[C]

I feel like some women are just born and they have an ass so big, they're like, I guess you got to be a cop.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Tsa. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Some TSA agents do have.

[D]

Actually, the Philadelphia Parking Authority. I think they're doing that on purpose.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So that we don't execute those people when they give us tickets, but they.

[A]

Send the fat fucking cabooses on, those.

[D]

Bitches can't even be mad.

[C]

Well, speaking of a nice caboose. One of the reasons I've got so much weight. I mean, not in the caboose. I have no ass. But let's finish it up with this. Shannon. Girl Scouts adding a new cookie. Whoa.

[D]

What do we got?

[A]

Where are we going to guess? Are we going to get.

[C]

No, I got. No, I mean, listen, I will be a proponent. The last thing they added, I was a big fan of the French toast one.

[D]

They so French toast so good Toasties.

[A]

If they don't already have it. It's going to be like a pumpkin spice or something like that.

[C]

That would make sense.

[D]

They don't have that.

[A]

That's going to be my guess.

[C]

Shannon.

[F]

So the new one, it's called Explore Moors, and it's a sandwich cookie with chocolate, marshmallow, and almond flavored cream.

[D]

And s'. More.

[A]

S'. Moreish. Explore Mores.

[C]

I would have called it S'. Moreons.

[F]

This picture is not great, but you can. It's right. It's this one right here.

[A]

That one?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude. Girl Scouts. Yeah, you guys. And the thing about Girl Scouts in America, how many flavors do you guys have? You have like 14.

[C]

Well, isn't. There's a bunch now, Isn't there's two splinter cells?

[D]

Well, so it's two. The factory is the same, but the production or the distributor is different. That's splintered throughout the.

[C]

Yeah. So they have different names.

[D]

They have different names, but they're the same cookie.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

All over it's the same cookie.

[A]

Because in Canada, we only have two Girl Scout cookies.

[D]

You Canadian?

[A]

Yeah, I'm Canadian, yeah. Chick from Philly with piss on her face is like, oh, well, you got free health. This Broadway. Holy shit, dude. This chick was swollen brain. You know what happened if you're in Canada? We would have caught that.

[D]

I got. I was in Canada earlier this year and I got punched by a hobo in the middle of an intersection. So don't fuck with me.

[A]

And Dude.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I bet he was polite about it.

[C]

So how many stories do you need before you go, I think it's me.

[A]

I do think it's me.

[D]

I know it's me.

[C]

All right. Before we get out of here, Best Girl Scout cookie. I hate to say I love a thin Mint. If it's in the fridge or the freezer.

[D]

In the freezer. You can't beat it.

[C]

The lemonades or real good?

[A]

We only got. The only ones we got in Canada are thin Mints. And then the ones that are like the chocolate or the vanilla with the cream in It. Those are the only ones we got.

[D]

So the trefoil is just a shortbread, but it's so nice and versatile. It's kind of always been my classic favorite. But I will say the tag alongs. Tag alongs are good. Samoas or now Caramel Delights. Those are. Oh, my God. I've had the adventure foals recently, though. Those are fight. They're all fucking good. They're all delicious.

[C]

I really went out, this was a couple years now, now that the guy that trained me in wrestling, his daughter was selling girls and cookies. And he went through the locker room and I was just like, you know what, buddy? You're bringing them to the next show, right? He goes, yeah. I went, sign me up for 10 bucks.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And I just had a big cake. And I felt like such a fat piece of shit walking away with my 10 girl box of girls and cookies. Because this was right after the wrestler just had a retired named Homicide. Yeah, Homicide. Super scary.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Now, tiny Hispanic guy.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

But I mean, like, was that him.

[D]

In the video with the cops?

[C]

No, it's way tougher. I'm talking New York Span, like, fucking Yankees cap, fitted Yankees cap, fucking. He's either an undercover cop or the scariest man you've ever met in your life. And his name is Homicide.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And I cut a promo for a match and I got back in the locker room and I was breathing heavy and he was talking to another Puerto Rican wrestler. And he goes, yo, you got blown up from talking. And it hurt my feelings so much. And then he just watched me gather 10 miles and sadly walk out of the locker room.

[D]

Hey, you know what? You were making a little girl's dream come true. Her dad saw you and was like, baby girl, let me tell you. You're getting the bike.

[C]

We're hitting all the numbers. He's like, baby, you're going on the. You're going to Washington. I think it's a John Panett joke. First time a Girl Scout showed up to his house, he goes, call the rest of the troop. You're winning the trip. All right, thank you, guys. Oh, let's get plugs out of the way before we get out of here. I'm so sorry, Josie. What do you want people to check out?

[D]

You can follow my all my social medias at Josie Marcelino. It's J O S I E M A R C E L L I N. Oh, yeah, it's on the screen right there. Perfect. I Next this weekend, I will be doing guest spots for Robert Kelly at the Port Comedy Club in Baltimore, Maryland. Next Thursday, I will be at New York Comedy Club East Village at 10pm I think I'm in D.C. at some point. I'm on Skank Fest. Yay. They're saying it's my first year. It's not, but I'm excited to be there. So let's go. New Orleans is going to be great.

[C]

Very cool. Mr. Duranor.

[A]

You can find me on the guest digital network at with Dark Holes with Shaderna, my podcast. You can also see me on my other podcast with JJ Lieberman. That is two Goons releasing twice a week, every week. Also, for all tour dates go to shaderana.com I'm going to be in Toronto on September 20th. Then we got Pittsburgh. Then we got. What's that? Oh, then we got San Jose and then we're going all over the place. You go check out the dates and go see where I'm gonna be at. I'm also gonna be at Skank Fest.

[C]

All right, fantastic. Hey, if you guys want to see me live, go to Punchup Live. Zachamico. And I've got dates up there going on a Little Run on September 25th, Ocean Springs. The 26th, Mobile, Alabama. 27th, Hattiesburg. And September 28th, Paris, Pensacola. And all those dates are me and Zach Holmes from Jackass. Co headlining comedy stunts and kissing. Why not? Too fat, too furious. Two Zacks. And we're gonna be proven that we're not the same person. And if you love the show, go to cast digital.com today. The site just got relaunched. Use the promo code zoo and you get yourself a dollar fifty off a month. You get yourself access to the episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the live chat and most importantly, the archives. Thousand episodes, all your favorite episodes. Gas shows. And we do three of these a week. That's right. One show stays behind the paywall. So if you want the full morning zoo, you want to see all three episodes, subscribe today. But no matter how you consume the show, thank you and I truly appreciate you. Just like I appreciate my guest today, Che Darina and Josie Marzalino. Thank you to Shannon and Jorge in the booth. And we will see you this Friday if you're subscribed here on the Morning Zoo. Bye.

[B]

Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco. Chug it down. Just like your favorite obese clown. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's a Miko morning too. It's Acamiko morning too.