0046. Na'im Ali and Josie Marcellino

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Luis and Zac Show – Episode 0046: Na'im Ali and Josie Marcellino

Release Date: March 20, 2025

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Guests:

• Josie Marcelino: Comedian and upcoming podcast host
• Na'im Ali: Regular contributor and friend of the show

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1. Welcoming Josie Marcelino

The episode kicks off with hosts Luis J. Gomez (“The Puerto Rican Rattlesnake”) and Zac Amico enthusiastically welcoming their guest, Josie Marcelino. They humorously address the delay of Naim Ali's appearance, teasing about insurance and friendships.

Notable Quote:

• Luis: “People really hate women, my fans are a bunch of losers. But they do love you. Love Josie.” (02:20)

2. Sexual Banter and Relationship Dynamics

A significant portion of the conversation delves into sexual relationships, sexual health, and personal anecdotes. The hosts engage in playful yet explicit discussions about sexual encounters, condom use, and experiences with herpes.

Notable Quotes:

• Josie: “I know my multiplication tables and I can spell the word horse, so that disqualifies me.” (03:08)
• Luis: “Every time you post a pic in the gym, there's a million haters under your pic. I don't want to see you working out.” (04:44)
• Josie: “She's going to burn in Jamaica. I can't wait for her Gas Digital show.” (05:07)

3. Personal Histories and Family Backgrounds

Luis shares a poignant account of his father's tragic death when he was just four years old. He reflects on his upbringing in poverty and how his mother's resilience kept the family afloat after his father's murder. Zac parallels this by discussing the loss of his brothers and the impact it had on his life.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis: “I wouldn't change anything. That sperm had to meet that fucking egg.” (66:55)
• Zac: “I think that the universe does that type of shit on purpose. Like your dad dying made you the person you are today.” (67:23)

4. Combat and Confrontations

The hosts recount past altercations and their approaches to fighting. Luis narrates an incident at the DC Improv where he defended a friend against a disruptive individual, highlighting his stance on physical confrontation. Zac shares his experience of fighting off a pit bull, emphasizing his protective instincts.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis: “I reached out and I took his Adam's apple into my hand. I held it in my hand and then I put him on the ground.” (56:43)
• Zac: “I was locked onto my hands, and then I was just kicking his face in and throwing him on.” (76:48)

5. Addiction and Behavior Change

Both hosts discuss their struggles with addictions—Luis with unhealthy eating habits and substance use, and Zac with sexual addiction. They reflect on how these addictions influenced their behaviors and personal lives, ultimately driving them to seek change.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis: “I did one absolute whore bag. That was my grimiest moment in life.” (31:47)
• Zac: “I had sex addiction probably till maybe like six months ago.” (34:57)

6. Comedy and Career Insights

Josie Marcelino shares her journey in comedy, including the challenges she faced and her upcoming podcast launch, Thought Daughter, which aims to blend conspiracy theories with comedic insights. Luis and Zac offer support and anecdotes from their own careers, emphasizing the importance of resilience and creativity in the comedy scene.

Notable Quotes:

• Josie: “I'm officially launching a podcast this May, called Thought Daughter.” (44:37)
• Luis: “I have over a thousand episodes of the Real Ass podcast in the archives.” (08:02)

7. Animal Encounters and Fear

The conversation shifts to discussions about dangerous animals, particularly bears and sharks. The hosts humorously debate which animal would pose a greater threat in an encounter, reflecting on their fears and protective instincts.

Notable Quotes:

• Josie: “I've come pretty close to fisting a woman, got four fingers in.” (37:13)
• Lewis: “A shark will attack you and make you bleed out.” (75:39)

8. Reflections on Violence and Morality

Luis touches upon his internal conflict regarding violence, especially influenced by his father's legacy and the environment he grew up in. He expresses a complex mixture of grief, anger, and the desire for empathy towards those who've committed violent acts.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis: “I wouldn't have grown up in Patterson and who I am today, I wouldn't be here.” (66:59)
• Zac: “The difference is that's my older brother. He was a great guy.” (69:03)

9. Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

As the episode nears its end, the hosts reflect on their personal growth and the lessons they've learned from their past. They share upcoming events, performances, and projects, encouraging listeners to stay engaged with their content across various platforms.

Notable Quotes:

• Luis: “Check out all my other podcasts. Story Wars, the legendary Legion of Skanks.” (46:23)
• Zac: “Check me out on my podcast, Durag and the Deer Tag.” (45:04)

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Conclusion:

This episode of The Luis and Zac Show offers a raw and unfiltered glimpse into the lives of its hosts and guests. Through candid conversations about personal tragedies, addiction, and the challenges of the comedy world, the show balances humor with profound insights. The interplay between Luis, Zac, and Josie creates a dynamic and engaging narrative, making it a compelling listen for those interested in the intersection of comedy and personal storytelling.

Note: The hosts employ explicit language and discuss sensitive topics openly. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what time it is?

[Zach Amico]

They say life a bit tight at night. Boy, we diving in. We got Zakamiko, red dot, headshot. Eat a sniper.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The Puerto Rican point guard striking like a viper.

[Josie Marcelino]

And it came to attack, spilling crack on the track.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're back. We're live. It's Lewis and Zach. I'm the porter, Rattlestick Lewis J. Goas. He is the international superstar, Zach Amico. We're still waiting on Naim right now. No.

[Naim Ali]

From the last episod.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's me. It was me today. I'll admit. It was me.

[Zach Amico]

Yep. This time was you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was me. Were you here on time?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Josie Marcelino]

I was getting texted by Shannon like, he was like a Faberge egg that I was transporting. She texted me, like, three times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you were together?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Josie Marcelino]

Shannon was like, is Naim. Is everything going okay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You paying his car insurance, too? What's going on with you guys? What's happening over here?

[Naim Ali]

Can you call Naim? Oh, well, now we got to turn his phone back on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We have a great show planned today. Very excited. Philly representing. You know him and love him. The Durag and Deer Tag podcast. Clap it up for Naimali. Clap it up.

[Zach Amico]

Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. We are here. We are in here, bruh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And just so overall, a great comic. Good friend of the show at this point. Regular on the show. People love her. People love you.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, me? I thought you were giving him props.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, people. People love you. People. Really? They hate women. My fans are a bunch of fucking incel. Losers. Shannon, edit this out from the YouTube version. A bunch of losers. Not my subscribers at Gas Digital, but everyone else that listens. Not on Gas Digital. What a bunch of dorks. But they do love you. Look. Love Josie. Love Josie. She's cute. She's hot. They're doing pictures of you in a bikini.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, very jerkable. Dead Kennedy says, josie makes me feel things. Quentin says, who's this bitch? Don't be an asshole, Quentin. Just fucking give yourself to the process. My friend Quinn says, I want to see your tits as well, which is fine.

[Zach Amico]

That's a compliment.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is a compliment. That's a. That's a good thing from. From a Gas Digital subscriber. That's as good as it gets.

[Josie Marcelino]

Absolutely. I'm very excited to go on YouTube and read, like, 100 comments saying, like, she's going to burn in Jamaica. I can't wait for her Gas Digital show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Love it. Love it. Josie Marcelino is Here.

[Josie Marcelino]

Thanks for having me.

[Naim Ali]

I wouldn't worry about that happening.

[Josie Marcelino]

You're funny, actually. Well, no. Can I say something to the audience? Lewis is not attracted to me. That's not. Why do you think that I know that? Because I know what you're attracted to. Because.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What am I. What am I attracted to? You tell. You tell me. You tell me what the fuck I'm attracted to.

[Josie Marcelino]

One, I know my multiplication tables and I can spell the word horse, so that disqualifies me.

[Naim Ali]

But two, his girlfriend is written on lipstick on their windshield.

[Josie Marcelino]

I saw a young lady that you brought around somewhere recently, and she was so hot that I got angry. Like, she walked in the room and I was like, well, now my night's fucking ruined. Like, just beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Lou's got the hoax.

[Josie Marcelino]

Fucking.

[Zach Amico]

I don't even think it's a secret. I think everybody know that you got all the hoes, bro.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's not even the ho. I was like, this woman is gorgeous.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I do pretty well with the ladies. You do. But I will tell you right now, Josie.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm shocked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Josie. I'd smash. I mean, I'd smash.

[Josie Marcelino]

He's saying this to be an everyman. I've seen the last girl that he was with, and it was retarded nuts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I. Yeah, I don't fuck around. I'm a real ass dude. That's why people love me. I, by the way, everyone should be fudgeing, looking at me, being like, this is my fucking. This is the path. Grew up poor, grew up on welfare. Abused fat kid, dork. You ever see me when I was fucking a teenager?

[Josie Marcelino]

Justin Silver showed me a picture. You fat the other day. I didn't believe. That was crazy.

[Zach Amico]

You were like, fat.

[Naim Ali]

You were.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He was that fat? Over £300. 330.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Josie Marcelino]

He was just rotund.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every loser that listens to this show should be going like, dude, that is my fucking idol. Show me the path, Louis J. Gomez. To success, to pussy, to all these things. But you know what they do? They fudgeing love to hate. I'm not even looking at the chat right now. I guarantee they're going like, you're a faggot. You're so.

[Zach Amico]

Whenever you post a pic in the gym is a million haters under your pick. Hey, hey. Go, go say something funny. I don't want to see you working out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do they think I'm not saying something funny? And I know I work out an hour and a half a day. And then I also say funny things.

[Zach Amico]

Right.

[Josie Marcelino]

I will say your Instagram posts are gay as, but they're impressive. They're impressive.

[Zach Amico]

Louis, being that bodybuilding, hitting the poses.

[Josie Marcelino]

And is the secret just a cocaine addiction and a child out of wedlock?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no. I wish that was my. That was my. My low point in my life was having that job.

[Josie Marcelino]

Hear that baby James.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Having that little boy. No, there. No, there is no secret. I just, you know, I know where I came from. I know where I'm going, baby. And I'm only. I'm only 70% through the journey as well. I'm. I'm almost there. I'm almost there. I have another 30%.

[Zach Amico]

You think you that far through the journey? I'm that far.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Once I hit 100%, I'm done, I retire, it's all over.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, I thought we were talking about. Of life left.

[Zach Amico]

I'm like, damn, you going to die in 10 years.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know the warps.

[Naim Ali]

I can stand behind a block and get a few levels.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know the warts.

[Zach Amico]

Speed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Folks, what you say?

[Josie Marcelino]

Can y'all hear me? I feel like I can't hear myself.

[Zach Amico]

You got to turn it up on this thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You got to turn up a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

We can hear you. We can hear you, Jos.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Josie showed up. This is what a great Josie is. She shows up. First of all, Josie's opening up for me next weekend in Ontario. All four nights were running all over the place, which is great. I'm very excited about.

[Josie Marcelino]

Will you go to strip clubs with me?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll go to strip club with you. Let's go. Canadian strip club.

[Zach Amico]

Sounds like Ontario is nice. Strip club.

[Josie Marcelino]

I want. I. I want to go out so bad all the time. And then I go on the road with, like, Big J, and he's just sits in the hotel room all day. I'm like, all right, well, I'll go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

To the aquarium by myself and look at this. That too. Big J is a loser. Okay, Shannon. No, Shannon. Big J is a fucking one. No, you got to. I'm cool as a fucking. Big J is fucking the best.

[Josie Marcelino]

But I am going to go to a strip club with Big J is like a pickle.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what I'm saying? He wants to sit in that juice. I'm cool as a cucumber, baby girl. I'm out there. You slice me up. You dip me in some hummus. Let's go. I don't know what I'm saying anymore.

[Josie Marcelino]

They're the same. They're the same food.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shut up, Josie. Josie showed up. This bitch showed up with fucking cheese Sticks.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A bunch of gifts and Irish fucking soda bread. Yeah, that's pretty good. Pretty great. Yeah, I can't have any of it. But, you know, everyone else, I texted.

[Josie Marcelino]

You and I was like, hey, what are your dietary restrictions so that I could bring you something?

[Zach Amico]

Now you're in a diet again?

[Naim Ali]

I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I mean this. I never text Josie back.

[Josie Marcelino]

He never texts me. It's so embarrassing. It's just. It looks like my Instagram dms, but from the other side. Like, it's just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not once have I texted this girl.

[Josie Marcelino]

I had right now. I told you, this motherfucker's not attracted it to me. He's like, ew. Slides it away.

[Naim Ali]

If you want to get back in Lewis's head instead of responding to his texts, he doesn't text me.

[Zach Amico]

Thumbs up.

[Naim Ali]

He would have not like the thumbs up. And I do it specifically because I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Know it annoys him. If you thumbs up, you might as well call me a spic. That's like. That's the most disrespectful thing you can do. Both spic. Thumbs up.

[Josie Marcelino]

I legit. I had to write him a poem for him to respond to me. I wrote two. One in which I called him a. But that was like, that's how you.

[Zach Amico]

Gotta get his attention. Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

And it worked.

[Zach Amico]

Gets every guy's attention. Call me a faggot. From the. From the gate. I'm like, wait, what do you want?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And not many things rhyme with faggots. So she had to really think about it.

[Josie Marcelino]

It was maggot. That's what I rhymed with. Faggots.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, yeah, I'm very excited to go on the road. We're gonna have fun. We're gonna be in Canada next week, which is a ton of fun. Josie, play your cards right, I'll smash. All right, Just, you know, you gotta.

[Josie Marcelino]

There's also. I mean, the other factor is like, I don't want to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She doesn't want to. Me either.

[Josie Marcelino]

Y. It's not going to happen.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We have a great show plan today. Incredible show plan today. Shout out to everyone watching on gas digital.com you guys are all subscribers. If you guys are watching this on YouTube or elsewhere, you guys should know that we do an uncensored ad free pre release of this show every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The Friday show is exclusive for Gas Digital subscribers. It's the number one way you can support this show is by subscribing to Gas Digital. It is gas digital.com use a promo code. Laz. You get a discount. We have Over. There's over a thousand episodes of the Real Ass podcast in the archives. Over 800 episodes of Legion of Tanks in the archives. All the old school crazy we used to say is all available in one place and you can't get it anywhere else. So make sure you guys go subscribe. If you guys like uncensored content. We're the only network out there besides some political ass horseshit. We're not political. We don't give a about any of that.

[Zach Amico]

Right, but we're the only politics bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Only platform out there that is just doing uncensored hilarious comedy. Non corporate. Everyone's like, dude, you could go do it on Rumble. You can't do it on Rumble. Because I met with all these people. Yeah, I met with Rumble. I met with only fans. I met with Punch Up Live. We had conversations about moving our content Gas Digitals and hosting it with one of these major platforms. My first thing I was like, let me just let you know we've said The N word over 3000 times on Legion of Skanks. We had AI check it out. Over 3000 times we said the N word on that show. Is that okay? And then they literally, they all go. And then they start running around like chickens with their heads cut off. You're not going to be able to get that shit anywhere except for Gas Digital. I caught it. Absolutely. But we have a great show planned. I'm very excited about.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, do you. So if you say, are you like, is that bad for you to say it? You Puerto Rican?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I can say yeah, you can.

[Zach Amico]

Say as much as you want, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Can I say nigger? No, it's a different thing. See that's how we're saying. It's a little different with the hard R. It doesn't sound as fun.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if anybody's allowed to do that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My, my dad was Afro Latino though, so I will. And I used to call him the N word right to his face, bro.

[Zach Amico]

I know light skinned. That's just like you. I know a bunch of light skinned from Philly to look at my nose like you. Yeah bro, look at my lips like you could be a light skinned black person.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what I'm going to tell people when they come at me.

[Josie Marcelino]

Didn't your dad die when you were like 4?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He was stabbed to death by 8. Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Was it a black boy that killed him?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it was a Puerto Rican. Another Puerto Rican, another Puerto Ricans are out there stabbing each other.

[Josie Marcelino]

Can I, can I? Is This a safe. Can I truth time real quick? I did mushrooms in Mexico for the first time ever and ever. Like, I thought I would have an epiphany. And I've just kind of gotten a little bit liberal with saying the N word. The N word. I've said it like, three times, and I'm like, that's gonna get me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's Donald Duck said. It's a real thing.

[Zach Amico]

Yo, they just make a sound. You go, you can make sounds with your mom.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay. No, I can't do this.

[Zach Amico]

You can make sounds.

[Josie Marcelino]

Shut the up, Naim.

[Zach Amico]

You can make sounds every.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay, got do it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Josie gotta do it.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.

[Zach Amico]

Sounds like that.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, because this is what you do every single time. I've watched you do this shit. Every single time a white comedian comes up to you and is like, is this racist? It will be something so insanely fucking hate crime level racist. And you go, nah, you're good. Bull.

[Zach Amico]

And then on stage, he does.

[Josie Marcelino]

And then he does. And then he gets banned from a place, and you're like, that motherfucker's crazy. When I. The fucking burqa that I wore at Skank Festival, I asked you because I'm like, he's Muslim. He'll be able to give me an answer. And I forgot who you are.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But he's not. Naim's like, jailhouse Muslim. Like, he adopted it.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He adopted it to survive.

[Zach Amico]

I was born into it. My dad was jailhouse, and I was born into it.

[Josie Marcelino]

His name's Naim.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I was born into it, but, like, my dad was jailhouse. And then there was a. You do sound like second generation.

[Naim Ali]

Born with a red bow tie.

[Zach Amico]

I was.

[Josie Marcelino]

I fucking. But you. I was like, hey, is this funny but not offensive? And you were like, any form of modesty is a blessing in Allah's eye. And I was like, perfect. And then true. And then as soon as I got out of that ring, I checked my phone, and my three other Muslim friends were like, do not do that. That's crazy. Why would you do that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was great.

[Josie Marcelino]

And then I. I won. I mean, I won. I won.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pillow fighting's coming back. It's gang festival.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

I will not do it again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Boxing's coming back at Skank Fest. You're gonna box this year.

[Zach Amico]

I'll box this year.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Harrington, we talked about this. I want to know your opinion on this. We talked about this with Rob Cruz. We're looking for a fight for Harrington, and we Start going over these people. Paco is one of the names that came up, and he's afraid of Paco. He doesn't want to box. Paco.

[Josie Marcelino]

Paco would kill him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Lean and, like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Paco's a good boxer, but Paco's not a great boxer.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, but he's got that Pacific Islander strength.

[Zach Amico]

He got thunder in that right hand.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He did fucking crush Danny.

[Zach Amico]

He crushed Danny, bro. You made us all sad, Danny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Danny's getting up right now. Danny just woke up. That was bonkers.

[Zach Amico]

That made me sad.

[Josie Marcelino]

That was a bad time for Philly.

[Zach Amico]

And then. And then it scared the rest of my boys. The rest of my boys, like, oh, we all about to get our asses whooped now. Scared the rest of the.

[Josie Marcelino]

And then they did.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But Harrington, I. I threw out Ryan Foster as an opponent, and Heron's like, I'll take that fight.

[Josie Marcelino]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like, are you.

[Zach Amico]

What is he retarded?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like, first of all, Foster's 6 foot 3. 3. How much experience is it with Muay Thai does Foster have?

[Zach Amico]

He's been doing it since he was, like, eight.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Muay Thai will. It'll give you some bad habits, by the way. That's what happened Butterly. That's the reason Butterley was having trouble with me, was because he was holding his hands in a Muay Thai stance. I was able to break through the guard very easily. But Harrington's not a good boxer at all.

[Zach Amico]

Right. Like, what the. And Ryan just has combat experience. Real combat experience.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He's his stepdad, was his instructor, like, he grew up with.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He just grew up doing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. With his instructor in the house. You see what I'm saying? Like, he's going. He's going fucking full Harrington and a half.

[Josie Marcelino]

Also, Butterly just podcast. Fucking Foster, like, builds houses and shit. He's a day laborer, basically. It's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

He does manly shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Honestly, I see his hands and I want to kiss him. He's got those big fucking hands. Are you manly ass hands?

[Zach Amico]

Look at him, guys. A monster.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's like, Harrington. Are you crazy?

[Zach Amico]

He's going to be pissed that you just said that. He's six three. That's what's going to happen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How tall is he?

[Zach Amico]

He's six five. And he tells everybody every day.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, six five.

[Zach Amico]

He reminds everybody every single day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm going to. I'm going to actually make an A decision right now, and Harrington is not fighting. It's not happening. We're gonna actually. I'm never bringing it up again. Because I'm the one putting it out on the ether, thinking that Foster's gonna hear this.

[Zach Amico]

Yo, he can't. I would destroy him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it would be a problem.

[Josie Marcelino]

Unless you want to do a benefit every year for Harrington.

[Zach Amico]

Every year afterwards.

[Naim Ali]

Unless you want to pay for Aura's foster care.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Call it foster care, cuz Ryan's taking care of her now. Harrington, put your baby on the line.

[Zach Amico]

Right. Damn.

[Josie Marcelino]

Holy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that can't happen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Foster's a monster. He's a big.

[Zach Amico]

That guy's a monster. Six, five.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

He weighs, like 250 pounds.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Almost.

[Josie Marcelino]

Probably weighs more than that. Yeah, he's just muscle. He's got, like, no fat on him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, calm down. Calm down, guys.

[Zach Amico]

Makes no sense.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe I'll fight. Maybe I'll fight Foster at stage. Maybe that. Maybe that.

[Zach Amico]

There you go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe that's the fight.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, you yoked out. We were talking about that on our walk in. You just cut out alcohol and then got ripped.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm a dude in Jamaica. I got so fat. I'm a little bit better now, Zach. I don't know if you see the difference. Oh, yeah. But when I came back, doggy, I came back.

[Zach Amico]

When I saw you at Story wars, you look bloated.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you were just.

[Naim Ali]

It looked like you drowned in Jamaica.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was bad. I started running again this weekend. I was like. It was. It was a problem. I will never do that again. Yeah, I will never. I. Even the villa experience is making me think. It's making me rethink it all together. Because it's so debaucherous. I'm just smoking weed. I'm drinking all day. And then you have unlimited food to just shoveling piles of food into your face all day long. When I get stoned, I get super munchy, dude. Yeah, I was just munching non stop. There's be. There's literally a refrigerator full of beef patties. We have them in stock with beef and chicken patties. Like, the best fucking beef and chicken patties you'll ever have in your entire life.

[Zach Amico]

Damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And yeah, it was bad.

[Zach Amico]

You wake up feeling miserable. That next day, you get drunk, you eat all this shit, get high as hell.

[Josie Marcelino]

But that's. That's fine. You have to do that a little bit and then level out. Like, you have to, like, be good the whole year and then, like, have one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Five days of. That was too much.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's five. Five days is crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If I go to. Here's the thing. If I go on vacation, I Go to a hotel. I'm gonna. Even if I'm eating bad, I'm gonna go have a meal at a restaurant, maybe a couple appetizers. I'm gonna have. I'm gonna have a meal, brunch. Maybe a snack or two during the day at the pool.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not like literally just shoving food into my face.

[Zach Amico]

And you. And when you on vacation, you gotta get some salad. You gotta get a salad, get you a nice fruit salad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Zach Amico]

Like. Like, one of those meals shouldn't be a meal. One of those meals should just be a fruit salad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Josie Marcelino]

I. I've never heard anybody pronounce salad that way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He did say solid.

[Josie Marcelino]

He said.

[Zach Amico]

A salad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A solid meal.

[Naim Ali]

You're saying one should be a little. So, like a meek meal.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, bruh. That's my Philly accent. That's my Philly accent.

[Josie Marcelino]

I love it. I love the difference between the black Philly accent and the white one.

[Zach Amico]

The white one is disgusting.

[Josie Marcelino]

I love the white one.

[Zach Amico]

So the black Philly accent is nice. The white one sounds retarded.

[Josie Marcelino]

They're both so good. I love them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The white Philly accent is. A dumb guy is talking to you. No matter how smart they are, they could be fucking. They can go to Harvard. It doesn't matter. Like, you're an idiot.

[Josie Marcelino]

Well, no, it's because here's the thing. The smart ones don't have it. There are smart people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't exist. Philly.

[Zach Amico]

Smart Philly people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Smart Philly. It's a. It's a rare breed.

[Zach Amico]

What did you just move here? You come from?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm okay. Let's take a quick moment and thank yo Kratom for being a longtime supporter of all the things we do here at the network sponsor for Skangfest, market sponsor for Gas Digital, and just overall friends of comedy and friends of the show. We're not telling you to go get hooked on kratom and try even try kratom. We're saying if you're already buying kratom and it already helps you out, I'll tell you right now, you got to get it from Yokradom.com truly the best deal on the Internet with a 60 kilo of kratom.

[Naim Ali]

That's right. Stop going to bodega smoke shops and gas stations and getting a little bit of kratom at a time, and you don't even really know what it is when Yocratum.com has the best strains, the best customer service, and the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at the network Yokradem.com.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No promo code needed. Truly the home of the 60 kilo Yokratum.com. all right, where were we? So, anyway, look, I'm feeling better now that I just started working out again. I did a run this morning. I'm gonna go lift this afternoon.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm. I'm back into it, but that was rough.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Five days is a lot. That's fair.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was a lot. Naim complimented my shirt when I came in.

[Zach Amico]

That's hot. I need that. I need that hoodie. This new Lewis merch. This new. Don't be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We can get. No, this is actually Valentina Gomez, who's like a. I don't know if she's ever been actually elected into anything. She's a politician, but, like, really. She goes. She goes viral on Twitter a lot. It'll. She'll be like. She was like, I want to kill gay people. She's got a thick accent. She's like, gay people and Mexicans need to go home.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. She's a dummy in the head. Oh, that's her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's her.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She. I think she has a little crush on me.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She keeps on trying to hang out. She. She was like. She goes to Austin. She'll hit me up. She's like, you're going to be in Austin. Do you want to hang out? She's like, I'm going to come to New Jersey.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, you got to do that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I almost want to fucking.

[Zach Amico]

You have to do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I want to start dating this fucking psychotic Ecuadorian republican.

[Josie Marcelino]

I got to warn you, because just like Naim given white people permission to be racist, every single one of our friends that Naim's been like, go ahead and have sex with that lady. It has come back horribly on them. They've either gotten herpes or.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you responsible for all these herpes that are out there?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

I just tell my friends to ladies, if a lady trying to. You go her bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every time now.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if she has herpes. Every time you bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are you gay, right? What are you get that doggy.

[Josie Marcelino]

And now you're boy. And now your boys got her.

[Zach Amico]

Some of them. Hey, did you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you do it? Who. Who has herpes?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. I can't say it is.

[Josie Marcelino]

We definitely said it on your podcast, but I'm not. We don't have no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's his name as herpes not.

[Josie Marcelino]

He didn't get it from her. I know who you're Shaner. That wasn't so there's another one of.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your boys that some chick that you recommended for them to. And then they got herpes and it's a comic that I know.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. But she was throwing a at him and he was back.

[Josie Marcelino]

And it was when she was hot.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And she was hot back then.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is that a female comic?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I need to know who all of these people are. I need to make sure that I don't. This herpes ridden whore.

[Naim Ali]

Is anybody else.

[Zach Amico]

I think you might have fucked up.

[Josie Marcelino]

I think you did.

[Naim Ali]

Is everyone. Is everyone else doing helium? Is everyone else doing helium math right now?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hold on.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody doing helium math?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Time the out. Send me the name right now.

[Josie Marcelino]

I real think that you've had sex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll let you know if I've had sex with her.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know your friends have. I know multiple of your friends.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've been tested, so. Yeah, but unless it was in the past, like six months.

[Josie Marcelino]

Fun fact about herpes, unless you're having an outbreak, it doesn't actually show up on the test.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, it does.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, it doesn't. The blood test is not reliable at all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Certainly.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, it does not, because it remains dormant in your system.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This sounds somebody like somebody who has herpes and understands the system.

[Josie Marcelino]

I might. I don't know. No. I'm a hypochondriac, so I always freak out thinking I have aids.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's see.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know how to spell her last name. You probably. You probably gonna remember who this bitch is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think I've had sex with this person.

[Naim Ali]

Excuse me.

[Zach Amico]

You probably don't even remember who this bitch is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look her up on Instagram. Send me a picture.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. All right, gotcha.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wanna know if I've had sex with this person. I'm freaking. I'm sweating right now.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know for a fact your friends have, but I think it was before.

[Zach Amico]

Yo. I'm almost sure she. I mean, she could be lying, though.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know two of your friends have. Yeah, and I. But I think it was before that.

[Zach Amico]

She's proud of the comics that she's fucked with.

[Josie Marcelino]

She tells. She told you that she f everybody?

[Zach Amico]

Yes, she tells everybody.

[Josie Marcelino]

She tells everybody. She. Shane. She. I know I a say her name. Here's the thing. This got no credit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's the Drama Llama. Drama Llama's coming out right now. Me and my boys are Es. We're. Dude, we're Eskimo brothers. Isn't even the word. We're Eskimo. Brothers to like the 10th degree.

[Zach Amico]

Yo, everybody the same hoes, bro. Everybody. Did you find the Instagram?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is the chick I think it is.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

There's not many with that name.

[Naim Ali]

That would make sense. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've never had sex with this person.

[Josie Marcelino]

No. Well, she lists you off on her credit. She ain't got no credits, but she lists off every comment that she's ever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hold on.

[Naim Ali]

I got this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yo, let me say something to this lying whore. I swear on my son's life, unless I literally genuinely don't remember. Was she skinnier?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, she was skinny over the last like, year. She blew the up. Yeah, she was way skinnier.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go back to her skinnier photos. Because I, I, I.

[Zach Amico]

She was hotter. She was hot and she was way hotter.

[Josie Marcelino]

Huge tits. Huge.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why would she lie about me though?

[Josie Marcelino]

Because that's, that's the only credit.

[Zach Amico]

That's how famous you is now you got hoes lying about you, bro.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy. You need to turn down your ribs. You being too charismatic. You got to turn it down.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I really do. Got it. I just found out what Riz stands for.

[Josie Marcelino]

Charisma.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Charisma. I had no idea. Let's see. Hold on.

[Zach Amico]

You back to a O.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I've, I've never had sex with this.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, see? Okay, maybe she raped you.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe you were passed out. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dougie, I swear to God. I remember. I, I did one absolute whore bag from Phil. I won't say who.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

An absolute piggy.

[Josie Marcelino]

Would we know her?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Probably.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, now I want to know.

[Zach Amico]

I want to know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, a little, A little piggy. I mean, really. I mean, an absolute savage animal.

[Zach Amico]

Oh my God.

[Naim Ali]

This Brian sa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A diabolical podcast money thief.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yo, I'm so glad I have had sex with one comedian. And it was like at the beginning of my comedy, it was after. So I, I had hosted for a headliner that I really respected. And I was like, hey, I'm brand new. Like, do you have any advice for a young comic? And he was like, do not have sex with comedians ever. Don't do it. It's a bad idea. And I was like, I would never dweeb.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't ever do it.

[Josie Marcelino]

That night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shut up.

[Josie Marcelino]

That night, I. The feature. Who was his roommate, by the way?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A feature is pathetic. I'm being an. If you a feature, you. I mean, that's all right. At that point.

[Zach Amico]

Nobody know about that one.

[Josie Marcelino]

Well, no, people found out cuz we left together. And then he got mad cuz he was like, why are you telling people I your fat ass? It was back when I was real fat.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

And so he seem like a nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That guy.

[Zach Amico]

He seems like a nice guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Awesome.

[Josie Marcelino]

He's a real active.

[Zach Amico]

I can't imagine him saying that. He's a nice guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's wild.

[Josie Marcelino]

Wait, how do you know I know. No, you don't.

[Zach Amico]

You know I know.

[Josie Marcelino]

Text it to me. Show me, show me who you think it is. Because you don't. There's no way. You know, there should be a second.

[Naim Ali]

Tier of Gas digital where you can.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

See all my texts.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, yes.

[Naim Ali]

But it's crazy. It'd be like $10,000.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta charge so much for that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I still want to know where this herpes ridden bitch says she fucked me.

[Josie Marcelino]

She does. She tells. She's told both of us separately. She definitely told me that she's had sex with you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, dude, it's rare. Look, don't get me wrong, there's times where I forget.

[Naim Ali]

I want Lewis.

[Josie Marcelino]

There's no way that you were.

[Naim Ali]

I've been down to.

[Zach Amico]

How do you know that?

[Josie Marcelino]

What the fuck? How do you know that? I was so good at keeping that a secret, I thought.

[Naim Ali]

No, you weren't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you've given enough context clues that we could probably figure it out just from this show.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, because here's the thing, there was one other comic, but nobody knows about that, so.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I don't know about that, but.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know you don't know that I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Know of a comic that you fucked. You're just a liar. Okay, let me just say this, here's the thing. Josie's like, I don't ever. I never comics. There's three in the past minute that we've uncovered.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, you know the one that he doesn't know and he knows the one you don't know. So everybody just shut up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what? Let's trade some.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, no, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy that this bitch is telling people that she me. Yeah, and she's got herpes.

[Zach Amico]

But she didn't tell anybody she had herpes. Yeah, we found that out because we.

[Josie Marcelino]

Found that out because our boy got her.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, because our boy got. Got it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's wild. How's she not telling people she got herpes? Isn't that illegal? That is.

[Zach Amico]

It is illegal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Isn't it a crime?

[Josie Marcelino]

No. Age is illegal. But herpes is not illegal. Really not illegal because AIDS can kill you, but herpes can't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Herpes can kill you, but if you.

[Zach Amico]

Get Herpes, you can get AIDS, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

1.

[Zach Amico]

Is that how it works? That's how it works.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Okay.

[Josie Marcelino]

I mean, yeah, if you're just risky with your business.

[Zach Amico]

I'm just saying, I thought that's how it work. If you get herpes, you get aids.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's how I tell girls that have herpes, like, risky business. I show up with my socks, I slide across the floor, just take that old valtter off the shelf. Fuck, dude, that's wild. I swear. Was she ever even skinnier than that?

[Josie Marcelino]

She was good looking when I moved to Philly. She was good looking.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. When I first started comedy. I was trying to fuck her when I first started.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

These images are not attractive, okay?

[Josie Marcelino]

But also, like, you're New York, we're Philly.

[Zach Amico]

Y'all get way hotter hoes than we got. We get ugly bitches in Phil.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When would I have this girl?

[Josie Marcelino]

But she also would come up to New York and stuff, too. She used to be much more serious about comedy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go further back, Zach.

[Zach Amico]

Go further back.

[Josie Marcelino]

Do you remember every woman you've ever had sex? What's your body count at? You don't even know.

[Zach Amico]

There's no way I can't remember everyone.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My body count's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's no way it's a problem. I don't know how I don't have aids. I really. I genuinely don't understand why.

[Zach Amico]

We were staying outside of Helium one day and this. This English Irish lady walked up to. She said, you don't remember me, do you? And I was like, fuck, no. And then she was like, we fucked like, two years ago. I'm like, what the fuck? You just don't remember? You just don't remember. You can't remember all these things.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, she's pretty hot in this photo, but I've not had sex with this woman.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I believe you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I swear to God, I believe you.

[Zach Amico]

Because she seems like the type to. She just clout chasing lie. Yeah, she seems like the type to lie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've also fucked plenty of girls, I'm sure, that have had herpes. You know what I'm saying? Probably the amount of women that I.

[Zach Amico]

Fucked, I mean, statistically, we probably all had.

[Josie Marcelino]

You strike me as a guy who. Who doesn't use condoms.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You strike me as a girl who knows what she's talking about.

[Naim Ali]

You strike us as intuitive.

[Josie Marcelino]

Let me guess you. Can I just make a guess? I think that you probably have sex without condoms. And then if a girl, like, if you're like. Like you don't want to pull out. And so if a lady's just like, come in me, you probably do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I used to do that very regularly.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very regularly.

[Josie Marcelino]

Just from the man with three children. Don't do that.

[Zach Amico]

Three kids. Three bab moms.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right? Inside man.

[Zach Amico]

A great move.

[Naim Ali]

The medical term is spray and pray.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it feels great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I used to. I used to do that a lot. I don't do that anymore. After I had a kid, I stopped being as reckless.

[Josie Marcelino]

As soon as you realize, oh, this has consequences.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing.

[Naim Ali]

Like, oh, no, my coma is coming.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It. Yeah, I don't. I stopped Cream Ping once I realized exactly what. What, you know, the end result is, you know? But I used to. I used to regularly Cream Pie the end result.

[Josie Marcelino]

You cream p. Strings, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. One time, I. A girl at. We went to a bar. It was Coyote Ugly. The Coyote Ugly. Wait, was it Coyote Ugly? The one in New York City was like, grimy as, right? Yes. Okay. It was Coyote Ugly in New York City before. You know, it was before the movie. It was after the movie. But, like, Coyote Ugly in the movie is like. You're like, oh, it's fun.

[Zach Amico]

Look.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Coyote Ugly in New York City was like, dump. A real dump, dude. And none of the chicks were hot behind the bar.

[Zach Amico]

Really.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was just like.

[Josie Marcelino]

Isn't the whole point, though.

[Zach Amico]

That was the whole point. Like, they danced on the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It. It was like that from Philly. That said she Me. That look like that kind of sloppy.

[Naim Ali]

You guys know what the term Coyote Ugly means?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Naim Ali]

Coyote Ugly means when you wake up next to a girl who's so ugly, you rather chew your arm off than wake her up.

[Zach Amico]

Your arm, like, stuck under.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, yeah. The way if a coyote gets stuck.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In a trap, don't eat their leg, doggy. I.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was hanging out. This is back in the day. This is back the drinking days. Nate Bargazi was there. Giannis Pappas was there. We were at this bar one night and we were fucking hammered. And I met this fat Puerto Rican chick and her slutty white friend. And her friend was kind of cuter, but she was like, dude, this bitch was just not even slightly attractive. Like, this was like, I just met. And they were just the only two girls at the bar. And I just. I used to just. My game used to just be very balls out. Like, let's just go to the bathroom. And. Yeah, I used to just. There was no. You know, he would take his balls out, let's go to the bed.

[Zach Amico]

No warm up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No warm up. And I just was like, yo, let's go in the bathroom. Looked her right in the eyes and she was like, okay, let's go. Yeah, she went in the bathroom.

[Josie Marcelino]

Work.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Her friend held the door closed while people were, like, banging, trying to get in. Her friend was playing with my balls from behind while I was her. And I mean, I. I didn't even know this girl's name. And then I cream pied right inside of her.

[Zach Amico]

Damn, bro. You were doing it on those type.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Of vision I'm talking about. Like, it was. It was. This is maybe my grimiest moment in life. And then I remember, I was like, well, that was a bad idea. As soon as you come, you're like, what the Did I just do? Immediately?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like. Like, yeah.

[Naim Ali]

It's like when the guy wakes up in the beginning of 28 days later.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yes. And I remember I left and I was like, dude. And then I did a show, a cringe humor produced show at some college. And that girl was in the crowd.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And she came up to me. She was like, oh, do you remember me? And I was like, oh, you. I was like, are you pregnant? She's like, no. I was like, thank God.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because it was like two or three months later. And I was like, just in my head, I was like, I have a little baby out there.

[Zach Amico]

That would have been horrible.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not only having a baby. Not only having a baby, but it's like a girl that's willing to be cream pied by horrible mother. I'm not even in shape at the time. I'm like, fat Lewis. Like a loser. I'm less than a feature. I was hosting for Nate on the road. Could you imagine that?

[Zach Amico]

What? Yeah, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was Greer Barnes headlining the show. It was me hosting somebody else. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's disgusting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was a wild. That was. That was my grimiest, like, kind of craziest cream pie.

[Zach Amico]

You get away with one of those. That's it. I feel like you only get away.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

With one of those.

[Zach Amico]

You do that twice. A's and a baby.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Baby. I dodged a bullet there.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Men and women do not get horny in the same way. That's a sickness.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but I. I did. I did have a genuine, like, sex addiction.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. No, you. Cream pie. Fat stranger in the bathroom.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, let's take a quick moment and talk about small batch cigar, which is one of my favorite sponsors in the world. I've been smoking cigars lately. If you guys watch me on Legion of Skanks or Story wars or really just anywhere, once in a while, you'll see me with a cigar hanging out my mouth because I really do enjoy it. It relaxes me. Me, calms me down. I like having cigars in my house when I have friends come over you. Also, for a friend, a cigar, it's a classy thing. It's like offering somebody a glass of wine. Well, small batch cigar is the best way to shop for cigars online.

[Naim Ali]

They have free shipping on every order, and almost every order arrives within two to three days in the continental United States. They come with the Boveda pack. So it's the most thorough packaging in the industry with an amazing selection of rare, limited, and hard to find cigars. Not only that, you get 5% rewards points instantly. And Lou, we've got a deal for the people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we do. Guys, if you go to smallbatch cigar.com right now, click the new section to check out all their newest arrivals. But when you per, when you check out, use the promo code GAS10, you're gonna get 10 off plus 5% rewards points. So once again, go to smallbatch cigar.com, get 10 off with the promo code GAS10 and 5% rewards points. All right, where were we?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I, I think I, I, I had sex addiction probably till maybe like the, like six months ago and then.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Until six minutes ago.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm telling you, bro. No, but then, you know, you know what stopped it? I had, I was this one time, and then I, I busting. I didn't feel nothing. You ever had that before? You ever busting nothing? It feels like nothing. Yeah, bro, that's the scariest ever. So I'm like, damn, what am I even doing? I'm doing all this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's the point?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, what's the point?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And now, now every time I fuck, I'm scared. I'm like, what if it feels like nothing? Nothing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's just the, the hunt is a big part of it. It's validation as a dude. Especially like if you're, you know, you grew up like me, where you didn't get validation at home. I was a fat kid. I did, you know, so it was like I became like, oh, how many numbers could I put up? Like, how, you know, how many random chicks could I, how many girls could I in a day? Can I get threesomes or get girl friends?

[Zach Amico]

Sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, it was a, it was a problem. Yeah, it was a real problem.

[Josie Marcelino]

I grew up needing validation too. But I. That's just manifests in different ways, I guess. That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I mean, you're a lady.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. My eyes. Embarrassing. I'm almost 30 and my body count's still in the single digits.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That shit's still in the single digits.

[Zach Amico]

Single?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Josie Marcelino]

Six dudes and two ladies.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

Ladies don't count.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. How do you put. You can't put stuff inside of a lady.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, ladies don't count.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You fool around with the chick, you're not having sex.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, the ladies don't count. Where your body lives, I'll say.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If they put a strap on and you with a strap on, I'll count that. The amount of, the amount of effort and energy that that take, we scissor.

[Josie Marcelino]

You think I didn't have sex with that lady?

[Zach Amico]

No. Nothing's going inside of anybody.

[Naim Ali]

You're talking to a man who a fat stranger on a pile of peanut shells.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Yeah. Know that scissor doesn't count if you count that. You might as well count high fives. You going to count when you high five? That don't count.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I did jiu jitsu. I say with guys all the time. Yeah, right. He's account having sex with men because I have my legs opened up around their legs.

[Josie Marcelino]

Number six. Cool.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Ladies don't care.

[Josie Marcelino]

I made it to the second hand. Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, now for. For guys, if you doing gay, if.

[Naim Ali]

You made it to the second hand with the girl, I would count that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The bitch start doing. She doing prayers inside of you.

[Josie Marcelino]

I got little hands. I got pretty little hands. I can get, I can get a lot up there. I can almost. I can fit my fist in my mouth. It's crazy. Like, they're tiny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure you can. Josie be. Have you ever fisted a woman?

[Josie Marcelino]

I've come pretty close. I've gotten four fingers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's. I, I feel bad. Put two fingers in a girl. If I put four fingers in a girl I have, I'm trying to hurt her. Like, I'm going, I don't respect you at all. Come here.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. It's kind of a turn off once you get four in you. Like, what is this?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How, how big is she?

[Zach Amico]

What are we doing?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I want her to literally, if I get myself second fingering, I want her to start squirming me like, ow. This is my type of girl. Easy, easy, easy. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I saw a video the other day. This guy had his whole foot inside the bro. He was in there to the Shin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's wild.

[Zach Amico]

Isn't that crazy? It was on Twitter. Twitter porn. It's the best porn.

[Josie Marcelino]

And, yeah, actually, I. I had to mute you on Twitter just because I had crazy coming up in my feed.

[Zach Amico]

I like reposting Twitter porn.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, not even rep. Just liking reposting. Damn, this is nuts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Naim's a great follower on Twitter.

[Zach Amico]

I got all this. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What post today that. Oh, you were talking about Myron Gaines boxing.

[Zach Amico]

Did you see him?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bro, pull that up.

[Zach Amico]

Pull up. Myron Gaines is a chump. He's shadow boxing, and it's the worst I ever seen in my life.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't really know his. That I've seen. I know Dave did a podcast with him recently. I peripherally kind of see him, and I know he's, like, kind of like, I'm. You know, like, he's a. He's like, be a man.

[Josie Marcelino]

Imagine if you took and you made him just. Just a genuine.

[Zach Amico]

And subtract all the fighting. Subtract all the fighting. But he, like, yells at people. It's crazy. He talks so crazy to people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He does talk crazy.

[Zach Amico]

And then I saw this, and I'm like, this can't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But his thing is, he talks about, like, being a man. Right? Like, be a man.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's kind of. Yeah. Like, that's how it started. But it's devol. Like, as soon as he, like, got demonetized on YouTube and then kind of like the red pill manosphere has kind.

[Zach Amico]

Of been, oh, he straight up Jews now.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. You know, like, I hate the Jews. The Jews don't clip that, please.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's why I kind of like him. He's in good shape, but he's in good shape. He's not even planting his feet.

[Zach Amico]

No, he's hopping the whole time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why is he hopping?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. Wasting so much energy with that hopping.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why would he put this out?

[Josie Marcelino]

He thinks this is good. This is his best take.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He does.

[Zach Amico]

He thinks this is good. Yeah. This is probably take number four. That's probably the fourth take.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Keep it going, Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's embarrassing.

[Zach Amico]

And then look. And then he's doing little shit. Looking like he's getting hit with punches. Like, look. What the is he doing? Like, what are you doing?

[Josie Marcelino]

Even his flinching is gay.

[Zach Amico]

He's like, yeah, look at his pivots. Everything about it just is wrong. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, look, he's a fit dude. And the reality is, if you do this, even just this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You'll burn fat and get in good Shape, you know, like, you know those cardio boxing courses and tai, you know, is it a Taebo and shit like that? It's moving.

[Zach Amico]

It is movement, shape.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's just not fighting.

[Zach Amico]

But this is more of a self awareness problem. Yeah, this is more of a. You should know not to put this out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this is.

[Zach Amico]

You should. You should know. You look crazy right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is Natalie Cuomo putting out the video. We've all been there. We've had. We've done some cringey. We've had moments on stage. You don't got to put it out for yourself. Let somebody else put it out.

[Zach Amico]

Somebody else do it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This should be a. This should be a bird's eye camera with somebody even like, look at this.

[Zach Amico]

Look at his dumb ass.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dumbass. And then they put it out and he's like, ah, you know, I was having a weird. I was just practicing.

[Zach Amico]

Right, right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He put it out. Being like, yo, let me show the world.

[Zach Amico]

It's on his Twitter. He. That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is pretty crazy. Are people just trashing him in the car?

[Zach Amico]

Just trash. Like, what the is this? And then he didn't even delete it. He left it up.

[Josie Marcelino]

Well, you can't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You got. You got to own it.

[Josie Marcelino]

You're a bigger.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You got to own it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you do. After you put it up, he's up. God damn. But now, no, I don't think any other man is going to let him yell at them like that. That now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like, now he's getting hit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll beat you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's going to get hit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the other side of it. Am I. Am I crazy? And I am a comedian. Don't get me wrong. Like, we should use our words, but there is a point where you go like, well, I'll just beat you up. Shut the up.

[Zach Amico]

Also, bro, if you're paying is not that big of a deal, bro. We've been. When I was a kid, we were getting fights all the time. It's not. Sometimes you just fight somebody. You're like, all right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sometimes when growing up, we just fought our friends.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, we would fight our friends.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My best friend. Yes. We'd be playing video games. And then they get me in the corner and they keep on kicking me with the same move, with the same move. And then you throw the controllers down.

[Zach Amico]

And I'm beating the out. Can't do the same move.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That specific fight has happened five times within my friend's group.

[Naim Ali]

Would it be really funny, though, if they just got you in the Corner.

[Zach Amico]

And look at you the whole time.

[Naim Ali]

Stop sweeping my life.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The fat friend just has you in the corner. Shannon, can I have another coffee with a little bit of creamer?

[Zach Amico]

Can I get one too, Shannon, please?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you, my love. You should try keto brands new tropical creamer.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do me a favor. Have Karen make Naim one with some keto brains in it as well because it's really good.

[Zach Amico]

Like shroom coffee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, it's not coffee, it's a creamer. So it has, it has alpha GPC and it has lion's mane. Has a bunch of really good. It's actually, it's great. It's a really great product. And I'm friends with the owner of the company. She's helping me launch a product myself. Myself. And yeah, it's, it's actually legitimately a great product. But they advertise on the show now. I legitimately drink it every day.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Makes your brain wake up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, makes your brain wake up. That's the best way to describe it. Get out of your brain.

[Josie Marcelino]

You know, I mean this as a compliment, please. You are the biggest douchebag for a non Italian person.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First of all, I'm half, I'm like a quarter Italian.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay. Yeah, it shows through. You got a guy for everything. And you're constantly like coming up with like business scheme.

[Zach Amico]

You're like, I got very business minded.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's called making a product, cokehead. I say that as a guinea.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, no, no, of course.

[Zach Amico]

I think when you grow up broke, it make you chase money more.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, that's true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Emotional about it. And you, then you start seeing the path, you start making a little bit of money. You go like, oh, well, if I can make $100,000 a year, I can make $500,000 a year. If I can make $500,000 A year, I can make 5 million a year. If you make 5 million a year, you can make 50 million a year. There's, there's a path to all of that because when I was a kid, a hundred thousand dollars was making $10 million when I heard of six figures. Yeah, that was never even an option when I was a kid.

[Josie Marcelino]

That is still my mindset. Once I make six figures.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You, by the way, you're hilarious. You're a hard worker. You're on your path. That's just, you're just young still in the whole grand scheme of things. How long you been doing comedy?

[Josie Marcelino]

I started at the end of 2019, but then I took a big old break For Govid. So really like two, stop being a woman two and a half years.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Women always got to come in with parentheses and ass.

[Josie Marcelino]

We were talking for a little while.

[Naim Ali]

So we're like, actually I'm a Gemini.

[Josie Marcelino]

So how did you know?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, let's do. Look, we're 42 minutes in. We're just rolling here. What a show. I haven't even touched these notes yet. Let's get some plugs out of the way. Let's plug it up. We got a lot of stuff coming up. Josie, what are you plugging?

[Josie Marcelino]

Well, you can see me on the road with Lewis, Canada for those four dates, which will be a ton of fun. And then you can catch me in just a bunch of places in Philly and New York after that. I will officially be launching a podcast this May, so I'm very excited for that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's it called?

[Josie Marcelino]

What's the concept gonna be called? Thought Daughter. But not like T o h, not T h o t t h o u g h like thought. And so it's going to be. There's going to be a segment basically where like I get my crazy ass conspiracy dad on the line and we can give like advice and just talk about shit. He's an absolute lunatic and he's hilarious. Just blue collar guy. So that's going to be a lot of fun.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Love it. Naeem, what are you plugging?

[Zach Amico]

Y'all know me. Check me out on my podcast, Durag and the Deer Tag. My other podcast, Ayoxy Fact Podcast, also have a show in Philly and East Falls at the zone. Starts at 8 o'clock. That's on Saturday. And what's that? March 22nd. And then I'll be in Mississippi April 11th, April 12th, Columbus, Mississippi for Porch Fest. So come through, come see me and my boys. Bunch of Philly guys going to Mississippi. Gonna fuck up your little town.

[Josie Marcelino]

Shout out Ayo actually.

[Zach Amico]

Shout out Ayo actually. I love that podcast.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach Amico.

[Naim Ali]

Hey, check my Instagram for all my dates. But I'm doing a Canadian run in April including Ottawa and Montreal. April 11 I'm in Golden, Colorado and then I am back on tour with JCW at the end of next month. Just go to my Instagram and I'll have my punch up live page. Hopefully live by the end of today.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah. Come see me this weekend. I'll be in South Bend, Indiana on Friday and Saturday night. Excuse me, Sunday night I am in Raleigh, North Carolina. Next weekend I'm running all over Ontario, St. Catherine's London, Windsor and Burlington, Ontario, birthday weekend, April 4th and 5th. I'm at the Punchline in Philly and with Naim.

[Zach Amico]

That's right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And Foster.

[Zach Amico]

Yep, me and F on that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then I'm going to be Nashville, Tennessee. We're doing Story wars four separate nights. And I think I'm doing a depraved as well in the place of Legion of Skanks because Legion of Skanks, Dave Scott Smith, he booked a super secret Joe Rogan show that I'm not supposed to talk about, but.

[Zach Amico]

It'S going to be the president one day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's doing some big debate against some other guy. I wish I knew the guy's name to blow it up right now, you sucker, Dave. But either way, me and Big J are gonna be doing a stand up show, I believe in place of that as well. Lots of other stuff coming up. North Charleston, South Carolina, San Diego's in April. It's gonna be a goddamn blast.

[Josie Marcelino]

We're gonna be in Nashville at the same time. That's fun.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, snaps. We're gonna party in Nashville, Josie. And then. Yeah, guys, grab your Skank for tickets on May 2nd. May 2nd, skank for tickets are officially on sale. Get them early because I believe we're gonna sell out faster than we ever have before. And also if you guys want to come see me perform my next special. Tampa, Florida. Handful of tickets left for the special taping. We're still a few months out, but Zach Amico is going to be there. Bobby Kelly's going to be there directing the special special. It's going to be a blast. Come see me at side Splitters, which is one of the best clubs in the entire world. And I'm gonna be filming my next hour there, which is a ton of fun. Check out all my other podcasts. Story wars, the legendary Legion of Skanks, the regs available everywhere you guys find podcasts. Make sure you subscribe to Gas Digital and sign up for my mailing list. I skipped last week's Lewis Journal podcast, which is my solo show that is exclusively for subscribers to my mailing list. But it's back tomorrow, so it's Every Tuesday at 9am you get my solo podcast where I talk about everything from mental health to fitness to being a father. All the serious shit that I don't try to talk about on the podcast, the funny podcasts. So louisofskings.com is the website and that's that. That is that.

[Josie Marcelino]

I think you talked about all of those topics on this podcast. Like this episode talked about fatherhood. And mental health and working out all that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not funny when I do it. On the other Shannon who There was a man set on fire in Times Square. Yes. So it happened Sunday about 4 o'clock in the morning. And I actually did find there is a video. It's not great, but you can see him while he's actually still. Anybody who says today's show isn't funny, time them out right now. Are people saying anybody in that? Well, because I said this in a funny show. So now they're all. Anybody who wrote not funny funny. Time them out for the remainder of the show, which is another half an hour show. Now they get to sit back and be a. Be an. By themselves. They could write not funny with their thumbs into their cell phones. You you good? I'm not even kidding, Shannon. Make it a whole. And anyone who's saying you. Lewis as well. How about that? And some guy called me Louise.

[Josie Marcelino]

Time that around too damn chat.

[Zach Amico]

This is how you become a tyrant. He must start getting killed. What's.

[Josie Marcelino]

Dave Smith can't be the president because this needs to be the ceiling today. This is the next Elon Musk.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, let's take a moment and thank Keto Brains for supporting today's show. Keto Brains is a nootropic creamer that's truly the ultimate upgrade for your coffee or your protein shake. And your mind, to be honest with you. It's packed with science backed ingredients like Alpha GPC for focus lines made for neurogenesis, L Theanine for smooth clarity and C8MCT for sustained ketone energy. Energy. If you're walking around and you're just kind of feeling like you're in a brain fog. If you guys want to be sharper at work, if you want to be sharper in the gym, Keto Brains is a great product that genuinely tastes great. I drink it in my coffee literally every single morning. And they're a great company. They support great comedy. You should support them. Go to ketobrains.com that's with a Z. Keto Brains B R, A I N Z. And use the promo code LAZ20 to get 20 off your entire order today. Ketobrains.com they're the best. All right, where were we? Shannon, what happened with this guy who set people on fire in Times Square? No, he got set on fire in Times Square. They didn't catch. Well, somebody set him on fire, right? They didn't catch that person yet. But here's, here's.

[Josie Marcelino]

Did he die.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is there video of him being on fire? Yes, that's what I said. Oh, another dude being burned to death.

[Zach Amico]

That's some New York, y'all. Like some people on fire up here. Why he just standing there like that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're approaching him to put him out.

[Zach Amico]

But why he not like rolling on the ground?

[Josie Marcelino]

Because you're in shock.

[Zach Amico]

Why won't they. No, I. I'd have stopped dropping road. I know me now you're in shock.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it like, who had a fire extinguisher?

[Zach Amico]

Somebody had a fire extinguisher.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's the rescue. Rescue is there. It took. It took that long. And, And I mean this. If I saw somebody on fire, I would throw my jacket around them and save their life every time. 10 out of 10 times I would do that. The fact that enough people are watching it to call the cops, that rescue can show up with fire extinguishers.

[Josie Marcelino]

Because. Because you live here. So you've thought about it. Like, you've been like, that's a real possibility.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I never thought about this. Except for that other bitch on the subway.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the only time I ever thought about it.

[Josie Marcelino]

Now you thought about it. So.

[Zach Amico]

Nah. Josie, some people are just action people.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, that's true.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I'm an action guy. When I see some shit going on, I'm like, oh, what's this?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Even if. Even if it's dangerous, I put myself in the line of fire.

[Zach Amico]

Unless it's a gun out. If it's a gun out, then I'm like, all right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I rarely deal with people that have guns out. I've had a few knives pulled.

[Josie Marcelino]

Cuz you're in New York.

[Zach Amico]

It happens a lot in Philly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A razor blade pulled, bro.

[Zach Amico]

I saw a fight three days ago where this guy, he beat the. Out this guy and then. But the guy he beat up had a gun on his waist and he just took it from him and put it on his waist and left.

[Josie Marcelino]

One of my. One of my favorite. One of the first times I ever met Naim. One of my favorite stories is I had just moved to Philly and his podcast partner, Drew Montana, like, put out on Instagram. He was like, hey, comedy fight tonight night. DM me for address.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

I thought it was like NYC comedy fight. Like, I thought it was a roast.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Battle fight club.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, yeah, because that had, like, just come through Philly and then I get, I. I get the address. I pull up to the house and I walk in and it's just like a battle. Yeah, yeah, it's just a bunch of people standing there with like, mouth guards. And I'm like, what did I just pull up to? It was just an illegal boxing match in his backyard and somebody had a gun on their waist.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did a fight with it with a gun on him because the ref didn't. But everybody has guns all the time in Philly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the thing. People that. People that fight, they don't really care about fighting. It's only people that don't fight that are like, oh, being punched in the face is a scary thing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I am happy that I've become desensitized to being punched in the face to.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's not my. That's not a fear of mine right now. Getting stabbed, getting shot, that is. That's why I don't just fight people in the streets. You know what I'm saying? Especially as I've gone older, I'm less willing to sort of pull up on somebody.

[Zach Amico]

Sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Whereas I think when I was younger, you know, it's a combination of everything. It's also like, I know. I know how. I know where I stand in the world of toughness.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't know that.

[Zach Amico]

You're not delusional. You're not a person. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're ignorant. When you're young, you don't want the.

[Josie Marcelino]

Prophecy to be fulfilled and your son goes through the same.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's really true. But like that, like, when I was younger, I would fight anybody.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would. You. You would tell me that guy's got 10 years of martial arts experience. I was like, beat the fuck out of. For no reason.

[Zach Amico]

When you're young, you just walk around looking at people like, ah, knock him the fuck out. You don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've never knocked anybody out in my entire life. I was like, I'll knock you the. I'll break your fucking jaw, bitch. Yeah. I've never broken somebody's jaw. The amount of times that I've said to somebody, I'll break your fucking jaw.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's never happened.

[Zach Amico]

It's never happened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not never happened. Not a once have I ever.

[Zach Amico]

I never broke anybody jaw.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Josie Marcelino]

The night I met Lewis, he choked a man to the ground.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, nice.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know we're not supposed to talk. Whatever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's okay. Who did I choke to the ground?

[Josie Marcelino]

It was DC Improv. That guy, though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've talked about it since. He's not retarded. Relax. Don't put it out out there that I. He was a dangerous drug addict. That's a better way to describe it. He was acting the guy.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody just imagine you choking out a Down syndrome like Lewis. Why you do that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, his tongue's out.

[Zach Amico]

Stop, stop, stop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, that guy. I've talked about it. I've talked about it in the past. I've given some of the details. I've made up with that guy.

[Zach Amico]

I never heard this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So this guy, show shows up at the DC Improv with a bunch of like, weed and dabs. Yeah, he's like. He's like, yo, I gotta.

[Josie Marcelino]

Or you and Big J. Yeah, he's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, I gotta, I gotta. He's like a wild amount of dabs for you. A few ounces of dabs.

[Josie Marcelino]

Now he's banned from the DC Improv.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know this when I invite him. I don't. I don't. He had tried doing comedy before and I guess you know, he was a rapper. He was like a white rapper. He was. He was a. He was a wacky one. Like a w. Like a wild eyed wacky.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He couldn't find his way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's looking for a way, but couldn't find his way. And he's like, yo, I got all these dabs for you. All this weed for you. And we're like, yeah, sweet, let's do it. So he ends up showing up late. I'm on stage and he's trying to contact me, and they won't let him in because I'm on stage and I'm there, like, let him in. So I don't exactly remember where it got. But the manager of the DC Improv is a black guy. Antoine, right? Great guy, you know, great club. But this kid's like outside talking, like they won't let him in the club for. I guess he's banned for other reasons or whatever. So he's like outside talking Antoine in front of me and Jay. And I'm like, bro, I was like, you can't.

[Josie Marcelino]

A lot of racial slurs saying stuff about your kid.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, no, I'll tell you what happened. So he. He starts kind of making some racial shit about the. The manager. So I was like, bro, I was like, you're not gonna. You can't go, like if I'm inviting you.

[Zach Amico]

Right, right, right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're my fucking guess. You're representing.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, you want to come hang out in the green room? You want to like. I was like, you can't fucking be a shithead to the manager of this club. We're not on Legion of Skanks. Right now we're making like, racial jokes.

[Josie Marcelino]

He was really mad that a girl like I was hosting for you guys that, like, mad about that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was mad about that. That was the one thing me and him agreed on, actually, so. Oh, Rob Cruz here.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Bobby Cruz.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So then I kind of turn on him and I'm like, bro. I was like. He's like, I brought all this weed for you. All this. I was like, I don't need your weeder dabs. I'm not like, I'm not desperate where I need your drug.

[Zach Amico]

Exactly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like, you're a guest here. And so then he goes, he just. He said something along the lines of, that's why your son's being raised by some black or some. Some shit like that. I just heard my son and then I. I reached out and I took his Adam's apple into my hand. Yeah, bro, it wasn't a choking. It was more like I physically pulled his Adam's app from his neck.

[Zach Amico]

That's worse than being choked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I held it in my hand and then I put him on the ground.

[Josie Marcelino]

And my boyfriend, who's was not in. Not in comedy, like a neuroscientist, really nice put together guy was like looking at me and he was like, what the.

[Zach Amico]

What type of people do you. What did you.

[Josie Marcelino]

What did I send my girlfriend down here to do, yo?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it was like a Darth Vader sort of, these are the guys you.

[Naim Ali]

Cheat on me with.

[Josie Marcelino]

And then, yo, relax.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I put him down.

[Josie Marcelino]

I miss him every day. I miss him every day.

[Zach Amico]

Don't fucking this up more than it already is.

[Josie Marcelino]

So up. You met him. You were mad. I miss him so much. Miss him so much.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So, yeah, then this guy, he like, called the cops and we all just lied to the cops. We were like, what is he talking about? He fell. He tripped.

[Josie Marcelino]

I was back in my hotel room at that point. I'm like, we got to go.

[Zach Amico]

He called the cops after he started all this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He called the cops after he started all this.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, did he call the cops?

[Zach Amico]

He called the cops.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then, yeah, that. That was that. And then he ended up like, you know, his. His mom ended up contacting the club and contacting me. And she was like, look, the whole family is like huge legion of Saying fans. She was like, I would love it if you didn't talk about this on the show and name him. She was like, he's got issues. He's got, like, real psychological issues. So we never talked about it, like, on the show, and I never gave. I think I might have given his name since, because since then, he's come out in D.C. he showed up with some weed, and we smoked a blunt.

[Zach Amico]

Cool. He's been cool.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He can't. Look, first me, brother. I am not the type of person to harbor resentment like that. I don't. I don't put that into the world. It's not like I can hate somebody. Like, literally, I can have a. Like, a hatred relationship if they're like, yo, let's just squash this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You.

[Josie Marcelino]

You let go of immediately, which is cr. Like, I've seen you go from having, like, the worst day ever to the best time of your life, like, within five seconds.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I. I'm. That's called being bipolar.

[Josie Marcelino]

But that's okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's, um. But no. I mean, I don't even. Like, with girls that I break up with. I don't harbor resentment. I'm not going. Like. Like, if I break up with a chick, even if she cheats, even if she's the. Even if it gets nasty, typically, I'm just like, you know what?

[Josie Marcelino]

I did all that anyway.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like, you know what? I was cheating, too.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, she.

[Zach Amico]

If she cheats, I'm a wholesome resentment for, like, a year. You got a year. You got a year of me being like you.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, you. You hold a grudge forever. Grudges.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I hold grudges for a long time. Cause you see what I'm saying? And then you can always meet new, better people. People, bro. Like, I got. I got cousins that I don't talk to anymore.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. It's rare that I have people that I will get there with where I'll hold on to anything. Like, no matter. Even if people me over, like, I can just kind of let it go.

[Josie Marcelino]

Naim's dangerous because he'll hate you, and you won't know about it. You'll be so nice to your face. And then they'll walk off. He's like, I hate that.

[Zach Amico]

This guy. Why did you come over?

[Josie Marcelino]

I know. I know I said this on your podcast, but I'm gonna say it here because it happened at Skank Fest. It was. I had, like, just met Naim. Like, I just moved to Philly, and we were both at Skank Fest that year. Like, not on the bill.

[Zach Amico]

Just, like, three or four years ago.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, it was the first year in Vegas, and I saw him, and I was like, oh, cool. Like somebody else from Philly. Like, maybe we can be friends and, like, just Standing there, he unprompted was telling somebody, he's like this Josie, Josie's funny as fuck. And the best part, she don't ever talk about her pussy on stage. Like she, she's so good. And I was like, oh my. Like, not only do you like know my com like you, that's a real compliment. That's so nice. And so like I walked away all happy. I came back five minutes later, he's in the same spot and he just goes, yeah. You know, sometimes you just gotta gas people up who stink. You gotta say if they're really bad, you gotta say they're great at comedy. And I was like, oh no. Oh no.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't mean it about you though. You want to hear that part? You'll be long gone. When I said that.

[Josie Marcelino]

Same, same skank fest. I remember I got high and I. I looked at you, you were like, we were all in a group and you were like the only one left. And I was like, oh no, Naim, I think I'm a little too high. And you were like, that's crazy. And then just walked the away left me on Fremont Street. That was no.

[Zach Amico]

When I'm high, I can't take other people problems. I get the out of there.

[Josie Marcelino]

You're like, that's crazy. And it just faded away. Yeah, you were a secret hater.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, I'm out of here, bro.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, he's a secret. I've seen you be so nice and dat people up and then just be like, that guy stinks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's people where I'm. Hate is a weird way to put it because it's not. I genuinely. I don't think I hate anybody.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I only hate one person. There's probably one person that I hate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can you name him?

[Zach Amico]

It was the that killed my brother. But he's in prison, so ain't I could do about it. But I hate that. But like that's the only person that like, if I had the opportunity to and if my life was completely up, I probably would kill him. You see what I'm saying? But outside of that, no, there's nobody else.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So I. The guy who killed my dad. I tried to get on realized podcast what the. After he got out of prison, but he died two years before I started searching for him.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I was gonna have my. And I. What's funny is I didn't hate him because it's a different thing. Like you when you read the story we found the newspaper article we found like it's. It's in I'm writing a book right now about my childhood.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it's a big part of it. And the, the, you know, it was a kid, was like a 15 year old kid really. My dad was a, my dad was like a pimp and a drug dealer. Not like, but he was a pimp and a drug dealer outside of a strip club. He had girls that were strippers inside that were hoars for him, working for him. And my mom was not a hooker for my father.

[Naim Ali]

Like my mom, she was freelance independent contractor.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She, she was independent contractor.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach. Joe. My mother.

[Josie Marcelino]

Holy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My mother. Zach.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

The W. W9 stood for.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Number nine. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. What's wrong with y'all, bro?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but my mom wasn't like a street walker. My mom like essentially sold herself to get drug money and like, you know, a regular thing. And apparently my grandma too. I found out my grandma Jane was also a known, a known prostitute.

[Josie Marcelino]

And I have to ask what you think a streetwalker is, because that, I think that's the definition.

[Naim Ali]

No, she, he's saying she, she wasn't like out getting randoms.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She wasn't like walking the streets.

[Josie Marcelino]

She was the drug dealers or probably.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, she was, she was, I know she used to. My son, My mom, my mom. Sorry.

[Josie Marcelino]

She your son.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My sister's godfather for like drugs. And yeah, that was like a regular thing. Thing. But you know, she had like clients and you know, but yeah, she, she wasn't like, she wasn't walking the streets. There were, there were hookers in Patterson, New Jersey who would stand on a street corner and go up to your car. Yeah, that's not what she was.

[Josie Marcelino]

She just. People had a number and it was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A call she had. You know, she was, she was, she.

[Zach Amico]

Was the farming directly drugs to pussy, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Probably. I, I, I. Look, I don't really know. I never talked to her about it. It was just. You find out my ex girlfriend, the girl I lost my virginity to, became a heroin addict and she told me a bunch of shit about my mother.

[Zach Amico]

But she just like found out from like other.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She was in rehab, the same rehab as my mother. So people would like talk about it. And she was like, I remember she, you know, she would tell. I was like, why are you telling me this? Like, I don't, I literally don't need to know this about my mother. Right, right, right.

[Zach Amico]

But do you like finding out like the like harsh truths about your parents? And I like hear. I like when people tell me up about my dad or like my mom, my mom's Like a.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's just because your dad sold you out in front of Bill Cosby.

[Zach Amico]

He did. But, yeah, but yeah, I like, I like, I like when I hear about my dad, like, when people be like, oh, your dad stabbed this up one time or your dad shot this, I'd be like, damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's. I mean, look, I. I've heard a lot about my father through my cousins who were a little bit older, like, and my father and his two brothers were like thuggy in Patterson, New Jersey. Hector, Julio and Gilbert. They were like straight up, like, you know, gang member like that. Like, they would get into fights all the time. Time. And yeah, my father was in, you know, my father was in and out of jail.

[Zach Amico]

Right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, you know, I went. I. I don't have a memory of it. My sister does, though. Visiting my father in jail. Damn. You know, I was there, but I was too young to remember.

[Zach Amico]

How old was he when he died?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was 4. So he was. I think he was 24 or 26. Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's so young, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, maybe. No, he was. He was a couple years older than my mom, so maybe he was. He might have seen how to be 26, 27. That's.

[Zach Amico]

That's so.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he, yeah, he got younger than any of us. He got into a fight outside of a strip club. He beat the. Out of these kids. They were talking, you know what I'm saying? And he up this one kid and they came back a few hours later, literally, like at 4:00 in the morning, and just came up to him on the side. We turned around, boom. Stabbed him with a kitchen knife.

[Zach Amico]

Right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then. Yeah, he threw it under the car, ran. He got caught. You know, there's all. There's a whole entire story. But I tried to reach out to the guy. Guy and bring him on the show because in a weird way, like, I had a. Just this weird, like, empathy maybe for the kid because I was like, he was just a kid.

[Zach Amico]

He was. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And the reality is, like, there's times where, like, I was a kid and you get into a fight. If I had a knife.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, that could have very easily been you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not saying that I, like, whatever, murder somebody or whatever. Like, I'm just not the kid to go, you know, I'm just not. I was. Luckily, my dad was killed. Luckily.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The reality is, like, if my dad wasn't killed, I would have grown up in Pat.

[Zach Amico]

Raised you like that. You'd have ended up being like him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In Patterson fucking New Jersey. Which one of the shittiest places in the fucking world. My father was murdered and my mother moved us to West Havish New York, which was still pretty ghetto, but it was more like white trash poverty. Like, you know, it was gangster, not gangster. And my mom got us just over that ledge of not being in like amongst like genuine, like real, real deal hardship. But if my father was not murdered when I was a kid, I probably would have never left Patterson and who I am today, like wouldn't be here. I mean, obviously, you know I'm saying. But the amount of fucking like, like I, I say this to my son all the time is like, I'm. I wouldn't change anything. That sperm had to meet that fucking egg.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I got my kid. I wouldn't get. I think I'm giving up my fucking thug ass pimp.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Drug dealing father for my beautiful. So get the fuck out of here.

[Zach Amico]

You know?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, that was the trade off.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And I like to think that sometimes the universe do that type of shit on purpose, bro. Like your dad dying made you a, a thing that like you're a person that talks to millions of people basically through all these platforms, you know what I'm saying? Now, had your dad not died, that probably wouldn't have happened. Your influence wouldn't have been felt by her. Me to people. Because all these people calling me gay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right now, Everybody's calling you gay right now.

[Zach Amico]

Wouldn't even know who the you were.

[Naim Ali]

To be honest, in a few years, you got to tell James, he is one quarter pimp.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like that's crazy, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, yeah, the, the but I didn't have this resist resentment for like when I was a kid. I was like, if I ever met that guy, kill him. You took away my father. But like as I've gotten older and as I've, you know, just matured, it's not like I'm like, like I, I was like, yo, he was just a kid. He was a 15 year old who made the worst mistake of his life. Spent most of his life in jail, died two years after he got out of jail. Yeah, it was like I almost, I wanted to have a conversation with the guy. It would have been such an interesting podcast.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, so he was in prison all that time?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He was in prison for like 15 or 16 years, something like that, bro.

[Josie Marcelino]

I mean, yeah, he murdered someone. Yeah, he was a kid. So that's why he got.

[Zach Amico]

God damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This was maybe a decade ago. We were talking about doing this. Right.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So, yeah. I mean, I don't know how the timing would have added up, but he was, you know, probably in his. He was.

[Zach Amico]

What if you did all that to get him to the podcast? You just stabbed him in his neck, kill him as soon as he walk in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, I mean, there was a.

[Naim Ali]

There was a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There was a girl there, and there was another kid. I could probably try to get them on the podcast.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. They could tell you exactly what happened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think the girl got probation and the other guy went to jail for, like, a short amount of time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. They, like, helped him hide the knife. He gave the knife to his friend. His friend threw it, which was.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's some kid.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But that's also, like. I would have done the same, like, if my friend.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We were just. We were dumb kids. We were doing stupid. Hell.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, you're just like. You caught up in the moment.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You know, and you're not thinking about consequences either.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're not thinking crazy. Yeah. So. But, yeah, I think that would have been. So I find it interesting that you, like, the one person you fucking hate is that guy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, see, the difference is that's my older brother. So I had two brothers that got killed. My older brother was just a great guy. Like, he had a full scholarship, about to go to Howard. He was just a good kid, but he was, like, well known in the neighborhood. Was a flashy dresser. Somebody tried to rob him, and the guy just shot him and killed him. You robbed him, then you killed him? For what? See what I'm saying? He was. Mind his fucking business. Now, you see, I said that about my older brother. My little brother, he was a street nigga. He was killing n. He was doing a bunch of wild shit. So when he got killed, I didn't feel like it was just a different feeling.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He signed up for that game.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That was the life he was living. He chose to be that. Yo. Literally, probably six months before, eight months before he died, he was like, yo, I'm starting to have all these nightmares about people that I killed and shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, he was killed by Freddy Krueger. Right, Bruh, I'm seeing a guy with knives on his hand.

[Zach Amico]

He, like, having all these nightmares, and.

[Naim Ali]

I'm like, count to eight. The song just kept stopping.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but he like, I'm having all these nightmares. And he was. When he got killed, he was 26. And I was like. It was. I'm like, that mean. Like, your conscience is on now. Bro, like, when you doing all that, when you was young, you weren't. You wasn't aware that it was evil.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Now you know it's evil. And now it's with you. I'm like, you gotta stop. And he got killed, like, eight months later.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

You see what I'm saying? So it's like, I think that there's a.

[Josie Marcelino]

Like, I think. I think both are true. Like, I. I look at, like, the worst that's ever happened to me, and I'm like, that's. It's led me to here. So it's a net positive. Like, I would not be this person if that hadn't happened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you, Joseph?

[Josie Marcelino]

We don't need to talk about it. But then at the same time, I'm like, I would kill that if I had. If I had.

[Zach Amico]

You know what it is? If. If you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That, yo, literally, obviously, what a privileged life you've had. But that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you, is you've been raped. You know? I mean, come on, right?

[Josie Marcelino]

You just. You take a little beating, you take a couple digits. Fine. You're fine. No one's ever been murdered. Yeah, it sucks.

[Zach Amico]

I gotta be scary as hell.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's pretty bad, but I never been.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

On the other side of it. You're right. I've never thought of it that way. Now that you put it that way, it must be scary as hell.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, bro, like, imagine it was like, bears walking around the street trying to rape us every day. What the, bruh? I probably wouldn't go outside. I stay in the house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's really what it is for being a. Being a woman.

[Naim Ali]

We're also not walking around with our picnic basket out, though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

True.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Put your titties away. How about that, lady? How about that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Josie, put your picnic basket away. What do you think's gonna happen, Josie?

[Zach Amico]

Right? What the you think?

[Naim Ali]

Showing off your salmon panties.

[Josie Marcelino]

Holy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a great analogy.

[Naim Ali]

Like, women stay the out of Yellowstone, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The.

[Zach Amico]

You walk around Yellowstone.

[Josie Marcelino]

I have been searching for a joke since I started comedy, and I think I just found it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's great.

[Josie Marcelino]

Holy shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm smarter than the average rapist.

[Naim Ali]

That was a very serious crime. She was covered in boo boos.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, Zach.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, that. That is like. That's the equivalent of it. Like, women walk around. Like, imagine, like, just not. Not being able to defend yourself, bruh. Like, Josie, we're choosing to not. I'm not gonna say rape. That's Harsh.

[Zach Amico]

It is harsh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But we're choosing to not. We can hurt you so badly, like, so easily. Like, Naim can literally lean over and just bang pop you right in the mouth.

[Zach Amico]

But see, we're good guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Choosing not to.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, we're good. I appreciate that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But we could.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Isn't that a wild thing? Like being a man? At least you can like, it's rare. Like, even if you're a. Of a man, there's a certain level.

[Josie Marcelino]

Of like, I'm gonna start bringing my.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You can defend yourself to a certain degree.

[Josie Marcelino]

Gonna start.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what I'm saying? But like, unless you're like in the woods and there's bears, which is literally maybe my biggest fear.

[Josie Marcelino]

Is your biggest fear. Bears. Bears, by the way. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bears are terrible.

[Josie Marcelino]

I was watching, watching Legion of Skanks like a clip and it was like, I think you and Jay were having a man off, which was gay as. But you won using like a. You use my bear fact that I said when I was here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, that polar bears are the most dangerous.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, that. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If it's white, good night. Yeah, I was like my bear fact. And then you also. What's funny is in that clip we. Because we put it out as a clip, you know, if it's white, good night. If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. We also. I made a joke about polar bears and penguins being together and then you were like, interesting fact. And you went on to say that polar bears and penguins don't actually live in the same habitat. I remember all this, but we cut off the clip and so many different people were like, what was her.

[Josie Marcelino]

I saw that. They were like, can he shut up? I'm so happy that your fans are just as autistic as I am.

[Naim Ali]

If you have an animal fact, you have to try and get it in before I say something racist. That'll be the end of the.

[Josie Marcelino]

But your racist thing was so funny in that one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. Yeah, no, no, no. I mean polar bear. I have no fear of polar bears because I'm never going to be.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I never going to be there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wherever polar bears exist, it's just not happening. Right?

[Josie Marcelino]

It's Canada. Northern Canada, Greenland. Sav. Sweet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Think I'm going to be in Swavibard.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, where the is that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe it ain't happening. I'm never encountering a polar bear.

[Josie Marcelino]

But it's six months out of the year, it's completely dark. It would be perfect for you. You just go up and grab ladies.

[Zach Amico]

Grab ladies Grizzly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A grizzly bear. I could run it. I could be in California.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do they live in California?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Somewhere over there. Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Pacific Northwest.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I can be. I can be somewhere.

[Zach Amico]

Those eat you while you alive and that's that. They only kill you first.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's, that's that.

[Zach Amico]

If you're gonna eat me, kill me.

[Josie Marcelino]

Do grizzlies. I know polar bears eat you. Polar bears are the only animal that looks at us and they're like, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Food snack, snack time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But grizzly bears are protecting their grizzlies.

[Josie Marcelino]

Will just fuck you up. I don't think they actually like like us.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Would they. Would they eat you? Probably.

[Josie Marcelino]

Probably.

[Zach Amico]

They're hungry enough.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, it's like a shark. Like a shark will eat you if it's hungry enough, but it doesn't want to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Were we on this show we were talking about. Would you rather be killed by a shark or a crocodile?

[Naim Ali]

I think so.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, shark, shark, shark.

[Zach Amico]

For sure.

[Josie Marcelino]

Shark. So much shark.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, crocodile.

[Josie Marcelino]

No bro, crocodile is gonna be slow and they're gonna roll you and it's all slow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I want to chat and talk to about it. A shark's going to bite a chunk out of your leg and let you bleed out.

[Zach Amico]

But you might drown first.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's quick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but that's. The crocodile drowns you.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, the crocodile drowns you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For crocodile.

[Naim Ali]

Na's going to drown in any situation.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

N will drown if it's raining too hard.

[Josie Marcelino]

We got the animal fact out first.

[Naim Ali]

Mr. Glass over here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude, I.

[Zach Amico]

No, technically I be the other one. Cuz. Yeah, I'm unbreakable. Technically I'm unbreakable. Unbreakable.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A shark will like attack you and make you bleed out and then you'll.

[Josie Marcelino]

But you bleed out quick. It takes a whole limb.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It doesn't take. You don't bleed out that quick.

[Josie Marcelino]

Bleed out pretty quick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, look, here's the thing. If you're lucky, a crocodile's gonna crush your skull and then roll you under the water.

[Zach Amico]

You should just try to get your head in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get your head in there.

[Zach Amico]

Get your head in his mouth. So you can just end it.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's not. But nobody. Your instincts don't work like that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it doesn't.

[Josie Marcelino]

It doesn't.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I think. I think I could beat most animals.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, you can't. We had this conversation. You cannot beat.

[Zach Amico]

I got attacked by a pit bull and I beat his ass. It my hands up. My hands were.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, punching his ass.

[Josie Marcelino]

Well mainly kicks and stomps because he.

[Zach Amico]

Locked onto my hands. It was like shaking him. And then I got this hand out. Then he bit this one. Then I got this one out. And then I was just kicking his face in and then like grabbing him and throwing him on. Like.

[Josie Marcelino]

Can you pull up a picture?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This was just you training him. This is how they train him in the hood.

[Naim Ali]

He was at the pet store. That's how they pick him.

[Zach Amico]

Can you take this ass also?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, never listen to anybody telling you to pull something up on my show. Who do you think you are?

[Josie Marcelino]

Shannon loves you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Think you're in charge of the show? You can like Shannon, pull some up.

[Naim Ali]

It's the black version of when ladies go to the grocery store and feel melons. This one's just right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. No.

[Zach Amico]

Well, yeah. He attacked my dog. He attacked my dog. So then I had to beat his. His ass.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because he was. He bit my dog.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. That happens a lot.

[Zach Amico]

What, with pit bulls?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pit bulls in the hood?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And I have a pitbull.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's crazy. Assumes you live in the hood.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I don't live in the hood anymore.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't? No.

[Zach Amico]

Why the would I still live in the hood now?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you have a pitbull. You're black.

[Zach Amico]

I take the hood with me. You see what I'm saying? I pack the hood up and take it with me wherever I go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, I gotta wrap this one up. We gotta wrap it up. Oh, what a fun show. Quick show we did. We went to one topic.

[Zach Amico]

Nice. That's what you know, you have fun.

[Naim Ali]

We got a whole list of topics for tomorrow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

New York City officials helped to help. Seek to help. New York City. Rat eater. That's what we're opening the show with tomorrow.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, nice. A rat eater.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Rat eater. We gotta wrap it up. You guys are the best. Thank you guys for watching. We'll be back on Wednesday and Friday. Some amazing shows this week. Until then, good night. Yes.