0050. Robbie Goodwin and Joe Gorman

Summary

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 0050

Guests: Joe Gorman, Robbie Goodwin
Date: October 5, 2025
Podcast: GaS Digital Network

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Overview

This episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo sets the tone for another chaotic drive-time show, mixing up offbeat news, gut-level humor, real-life bathroom talk, and a wild panel of comedians. Zac is joined by comedians Joe Gorman and Robbie Goodwin for a high-energy conversation spanning everything from personal hygiene, celebrity quirks, Marvel/DC nerdery, animal news, Bodega justice, conspiracy tangents, and the fine arts of both bathroom etiquette and fighting. If you’re in the mood for relatable anecdotes, grotesquely honest conversations, and laugh-out-loud riffing, this one delivers.

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Main Themes & Discussion Highlights

1. Bathroom Culture, Poop Polls & The Bristol Chart

(02:29 - 13:31)

• How Often Do You Poop?
  Zac revisits a listener poll about poop frequency, leading into an uninhibited roundtable about everyone’s numbers, digestive misadventures, and self-care:

  • Zac: “Three poops a day guy… Today, I’m only on two so far.” (02:50)
  • Robbie: “My ass is a disaster lately. … I’m either constipated or have diarrhea. There’s no in-between.” (03:19)
  • Joe: “I’m a one to two.” (03:27)
  • Introducing the “poop club”: advice about psyllium husk, Amazon remedies, and mutual colonoscopy support.

• Colonoscopy Bonding & Celebrity Clubs:
  The comedians riff on colonoscopy rituals, wondering if they could undergo the procedure together for “content,” comparing themselves to Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Tom Hanks, who supposedly do this as a group.

  • Joe: “Put the 4K camera in there. Let me see what I’m working with. Let me understand my body better.” (03:51)

• Hospital Fart Videos:
  Zac has Shannon pull up videos of patients cutting loose after their colonoscopies, leading to a cavalcade of grandma and grandpa fart jokes:

  • Joe: “That was a depression era ripper.” (06:30)
  • Robbie: “That was a dust bowl.” (06:34)

• Listener Poll Results & Bristol Stool Chart:
  Results show most listeners poop two to three times a day. The crew references the Bristol Stool Chart to rate their output by texture and quality, establishing “team snake” and “team cracks.”

  • Robbie: “I do get proud when I drop a big, good one. … Robbie. Good one.” (10:44)
  • Zac: “Whenever I have one that’s really breaching … my first thought is: ‘Man, I can’t wait to see it.’” (10:54)

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2. News Stories & Celebrity Anecdotes

Michael Jackson’s Hygiene – “Smelly”

(13:44 - 15:37)

• Shannon brings the story: Lionel Richie revealed that Michael Jackson’s nickname was “Smelly” due to his habit of wearing clothes until they were threadbare.
  • Reaction: The panel is incredulous; they list all the ways this could have been solved by assistants or resources:
    • Robbie: “Buy new clothes every day. … Just wash them at home.”
    • Zac: “He could literally pay people to just scrub him.” (15:45)
    • Joe: “He could pay for Macaulay Culkin to give him a sponge bath.” (15:52)

Celebrity Fish-Out-of-Water Story – Johnny Depp’s Toothpaste Quest

(16:36 - 18:30)

• Zac tells a story of Johnny Depp, so unfamiliar with normal life, that he didn’t know how to buy toothpaste.
  • Robbie: “That’s every store.”
  • Zac: “He had to ask what a Duane Reade was… they had to explain to him what store would have toothpaste.” (17:59)

Hunter S. Thompson’s Legendary Daily Drug Log

(19:01 - 25:16)

• The crew recaps Hunter S. Thompson’s supposed daily substance routine: endless Chevis Regal, Dunhills, coke, margs, weed, acid, and more.
  • Joe: “That had to be bullshit.” (20:03)
  • Zac: “I think two guys from Vice tried to do it and tapped out at like hour 14.”
  • Robbie: “What is hot tub, champagne?” (25:05)
• Jokes about the dangers of hot tubbing drunk/high:
  • Zac: “Every time I get in a hot tub, I think if I had drugs and liquor in this right now, it would be an issue.” (25:17)

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3. Pop Culture & Fortnite’s Peacemaker Emote Drama

(27:18 - 33:16)

• The group discusses Fortnite’s removal of the Peacemaker dance emote due to its similarity to Nazi iconography, referencing scenes from Peacemaker, Donald Duck’s propaganda shorts, and The Producers.
  • Zac: “Just because they talk about something doesn’t mean they’re supporting it.” (31:35)
  • Robbie: “Nazis are like the perfect cartoon villains. They dress the part, they look the part, they act the part. It’s perfect for comics.” (33:16)
• Social commentary on knee-jerk internet responses to controversy and how Nazis have always been pop culture villains.
  • Zac: “It’s so funny… people are so already ready with their opinion before anything could come out.” (32:22)

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4. Conspiracy Corner: Astral Projection & Jupiter

(33:51 - 36:25)

• Zac dives into a real-life X-Files narrative: artist Ingo Swann, who claimed to astrally project to coordinates on Earth and Jupiter—and got supposedly accurate pre-NASA details about Jupiter’s rings and volcanoes.
  • Zac: “Decades later, we see Jupiter and he’s fucking right.” (35:31)
  • Robbie: “I love that stuff.” (37:49)

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5. Weird News: Pets Cause Divorce in India

(38:22 - 39:50)

• A newlywed couple becomes the subject of a divorce after their dog and cat can’t get along. Jokes fly about dowries, cartoon logic, and escalating animal hierarchies.

  • Zac: “The cat hates the fish, the dog hates the cat… I think she just needs to get an animal that hates the dog.” (39:54)

• Animal TV expert Jackson Galaxy gets a shoutout, and the panel riffs on “pet cultures” in India, leading to a dark tangent about real-life dog-meat festivals, with Jorge providing cultural context on religious attitudes toward dogs.

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6. Internet Classics: Tiny Fighter Meme & Stud Name Videos

(45:38 - 54:47)

• The crew watches and cracks up over viral videos of tiny fighters (à la Hasbulla) and the “What’s your stud name/real name?” TikTok trend among black lesbians.
  • Joe: “Look how they smile when they say their real name, as if they know masculinity is something holding them back.” (53:58)
  • Zac: “They kind of melt when they say their real name.” (55:15)

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7. Bodega Justice: Store Owner Fights Back

(48:30 - 51:07)

• Viewing and celebrating bodega security footage of shoplifters getting beaten up with a baseball bat for going behind the counter.
  • Zac: “Once you cross the counter… it is perfectly fine to beat the dog shit out of you. Bodega law. You don’t go behind the thing.” (50:39)
• Discussion of similar viral videos and the neighborhood rulebook for counter-jumping.
  • Joe: “Dogs aren’t the only thing we beat to death.” (49:00)

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8. Diarrhea at the Club & Bathroom Attendants Real Talk

(59:00 - 64:38)

• Zac offers a hilariously humiliating personal story about having nervous diarrhea in a nightclub with a bathroom attendant.
  • Zac: “Somebody would walk in and go, ‘Man, who come to the club and take a shit?’” (59:41)
• Group muses on the confusion and awkwardness around tipping bathroom attendants:
  • “Is the bathroom attendant tipped for just the mints and…?” “It’s an honor system.”
  • “I think we gotta get rid of these guys. They can be replaced by AI.” (63:27)

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9. Coda: Plugs & Goodbyes

(65:04 - End)

Each guest plugs their podcasts, streams, and social media. Zac wraps up the wild ride with heartfelt thanks and a promise of more exclusive content.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On colonoscopy bonding:
  “Can we look deeply into each other’s eyes during a colonoscopy?” — Zac Amico (04:10)
• On Michael Jackson’s hygiene:
  “He could moonwalk through a car wash.” — Robbie Wood (15:48)
• On celebrity cluelessness:
  “He had to ask what store to go to and how to get there because he didn’t know how to get toothpaste.” — Zac Amico (17:59)
• On Peacemaker’s controversial dance:
  “Nowadays, dance is your chance to hate the Jews!” — Zac Amico (32:00)
• On pet divorce:
  “The cat hates the fish, the dog hates the cat… she needs to get an animal that hates the dog.” — Zac Amico (39:54)
• On bathroom attendants:
  “I think we gotta get rid of these guys. They can be replaced by AI.” — Zac Amico (63:27)

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Important Timestamps

• [02:29] – Beginning of “How often do you poop?” and health talk.
• [06:32] – Colonoscopy fart video viewing.
• [13:44] – Michael Jackson “Smelly” story.
• [19:01] – Hunter S. Thompson drug log.
• [27:18] – Fortnite’s Peacemaker emote/Nazi dance controversy.
• [33:51] – Astral projection/Jupiter conspiracy segment.
• [38:22] – Divorce caused by fighting pets in India.
• [45:38] – Viral tiny fighter Hasbulla stories.
• [48:30] – Store owner fights back; bodega justice discussion.
• [53:00] – Stud name videos and black lesbian community discussion.
• [59:00] – Zac’s “diarrhea at the club” story & bathroom attendant segment.
• [65:04] – Closing plugs and end of content.

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Tone & Style

This episode’s tone is anarchic, raunchy, and conversational, with the comics freely riffing, busting balls, and swinging between base humor and sincere curiosity. The hosts are unfiltered and embrace the outright absurd, keeping the energy fast-paced and unpredictable.

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Perfect For…

Anyone who likes degenerate-morning-radio energy, crass but honest body talk, sharp and loose pop culture takes, and genuine chemistry between comedians just riffing until the wheels fall off.

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End of summary

Transcript

[Joe Gorman]

Fill her up.

[Robbie Wood]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre. It's a morning suit.

[Zach Amico]

That's right. It's a woo woo Wednesday Here on the old Morning Zoo. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zakamika. Welcome you to another edition of Zach Amico's Morning Zoo. Hello, hello, hello. Thank you so much for tuning in. We're all lucky little boys and girls today because across the table from me are two very funny gentlemen who I enjoy broadcasting with tremendously. From Super Selly Joe's is our good friend, Joe Gorman. Hello.

[Joe Gorman]

How are you, man? Thanks for having me, man.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you very much for being here. And next to him from Robbie Wood is what we're going to promote. What do you want to promote?

[Robbie Wood]

I have two things. Okay. I have a new NBA comedy show coming out or comedy podcast. The Wolf of Ball street coming out tomorrow. And tonight I'm streaming with Dalton under the crowder boys at 5pm, Wednesdays at 5. We might change the time though, so.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, Crack left the show, but me and Dalton are still. Are still there.

[Joe Gorman]

Do you need a third?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

You know, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

[Zach Amico]

Failing sideways. Well, hey, good for you. Thank you guys very much for being here.

[Robbie Wood]

I've reached out to Mike Figgs to be Mike on the Crowd Boys.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you so much, guys. I appreciate it. Robbie, I'm trying to figure out what I want to tell you. You're dressed like, I'm thinking, like late Arrow Boy Band.

[Robbie Wood]

I'll take it.

[Zach Amico]

Or I would say more R and B. Like it looks like there should be four more of you. And they're progressively more good looking.

[Robbie Wood]

That's funny. I'm the ugly guy in the R B band.

[Zach Amico]

You're definitely the tall old one.

[Robbie Wood]

Well, at least I'm tall. I'll take it.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you guys very much for being here. Let's get right to the meat of the show. Last week we asked, how often do you poop? Because I read an article that said some people poop once every day or two. And by that logic, there's some people, if you add my numbers into that, that don't poop at all.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

So I've got. I'VE had people reach out because mine, yesterday was a three. That's my regular day. Three poops, three poop a day. I'm a three poop a day guy. Yes. Today I'm only on. No, wait, today's, I think, been two, too. Yeah. All right. I'm on two today so far, and then I'm usually good for one in the afternoon.

[Joe Gorman]

That's pretty good.

[Zach Amico]

What are you guys at? What would you say? Well, give me your. Give me your numbers, dude.

[Shannon]

Mine.

[Robbie Wood]

Mine's all up. My ass is a disaster lately. It's, like, all over the place. It's like I'm either constipated or have diarrhea, and there's, like, no in between.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Robbie Wood]

It sucks.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm a one to two.

[Robbie Wood]

A lot of frickin da. These guys over here with the.

[Joe Gorman]

So you got to take. You got to take psyllium husk.

[Robbie Wood]

I actually just got some off Amazon.

[Joe Gorman]

There you go. Don't even worry about it, dude. Yeah, soon you'll join the club.

[Robbie Wood]

I might actually get a colonoscopy.

[Joe Gorman]

That would be good, too. That feels great. You have to, like, not eat for, like, feels good or something.

[Robbie Wood]

Doesn't feel good.

[Joe Gorman]

What a rush, dude.

[Zach Amico]

You don't even.

[Robbie Wood]

You're like, don't give me anesthesia.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, put the 4K camera in there. Let me see what I'm working with. Let me understand my body better.

[Shannon]

Yeah, right.

[Zach Amico]

Is there any way they would let us go together and film it?

[Robbie Wood]

A colonoscopy?

[Zach Amico]

Like, can we look into each other's eyes?

[Joe Gorman]

No, I do it. I do it on gas and it's a tax write off for both of you.

[Shannon]

Right.

[Joe Gorman]

That's context.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Can we look deeply into each other's.

[Robbie Wood]

Eyes during a colonoscopy?

[Zach Amico]

Because then we can make a whole thing of the day before where we got to drink the thing.

[Shannon]

Yeah, you got to, like.

[Zach Amico]

We get some real content out of it.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

I'm in, dude. Come, come join me.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, because I just want to.

[Robbie Wood]

I brought my Kalinovsky partner, Zach.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Well, isn't it. I think it's Steve Martin and, like, two other celebrities. Don't they all go together, do that?

[Robbie Wood]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

I think some really famous celebrities, they have, like, a club and they all do the drink together, and then they all go get them together.

[Joe Gorman]

Really? Tom Hanks.

[Zach Amico]

It really. It's like that level of, like, super fan. It's like the people that have hosted snl.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

The Five Timers Club or whatever.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, they all get colonoscopies after the show.

[Zach Amico]

Steve Martin. Martin Short. And Tom Hanks, of course.

[Joe Gorman]

The Cullen.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, my God, the Cullen boys. That's so funny.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, but look, it's also Gail.

[Robbie Wood]

This is like the old man version of, like, Leah DiCaprio and Charlie Sheen, like, together.

[Joe Gorman]

It's the modern day rat.

[Robbie Wood]

It's the Brat Pack.

[Zach Amico]

The crap.

[Robbie Wood]

Pack the crap.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I would love to. I would love to see what comes out of me from the. The drink.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because I feel like that it's supposed.

[Joe Gorman]

To, like, flush you out.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. I think it more than flushes you out. I think there's nothing in you.

[Robbie Wood]

That sounds great, right? Yeah, it sounds satisfying, honestly.

[Joe Gorman]

Give me the drink. Why do you have to stick something in there?

[Shannon]

That's out.

[Joe Gorman]

Stuff's out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Shannon, can you look? There's a great. Have you ever watched videos of people in the hospital after the colonoscopy where they're not allowed to leave until they fart?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Robbie Wood]

That's fun.

[Zach Amico]

And it'll. Just to make sure on their side. Yeah. You're not supposed to leave until you've, like, really let some gas out. So they'll make you lay there on your side. But you're all loopy still. And it just. People cut. And monster gassers.

[Shannon]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And giggling like little girls.

[Robbie Wood]

That's so funny.

[Zach Amico]

So people come out of the woodwork. And, Shannon, if you could look up those fart videos. People coming out of the woodwork. My best friend. Oh, here we go.

[Joe Gorman]

Gino, angle to camera two.

[Shannon]

Dude.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, here we go. Come on, grandma. Show me what you got.

[Shannon]

Good.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, nice. That was a depression era ripper.

[Robbie Wood]

That's. That was a dust bowl.

[Joe Gorman]

Here we go.

[Guest/Caller]

And you paid him to do it. Yeah. He didn't take it from you. You paid him to do it, honey.

[Joe Gorman]

God, those must feel so. Oh, his heart rate jumped. He scared himself.

[Robbie Wood]

Nah, he was just proud.

[Zach Amico]

Technically. It's embarrassing.

[Joe Gorman]

What a boomer mentality to be ashamed of your fart.

[Robbie Wood]

You might be a redneck.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, you can pause. Oh, no, wait.

[Robbie Wood]

Let's do this one.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, come on, sweetheart.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Wake me up.

[Joe Gorman]

Show me what that little turd cut of yours can do.

[Robbie Wood]

That's a tight little thing still.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that sounds like a whale.

[Robbie Wood]

Looks like me.

[Zach Amico]

Her heart rate went up.

[Joe Gorman]

Everyone's art rate goes up.

[Zach Amico]

So I'm hanging out with Nate. I'm farting everywhere. All right, you can pause it. People come out of the Woodwork. My best friend texted me saying he's a three time a dayer and he's a healthy boy. My father texted me after watching the episode and said once every two days. Whoa, whoa. I know, right?

[Robbie Wood]

That sounds like not enough.

[Zach Amico]

I agree.

[Joe Gorman]

I feel like at least a daily.

[Zach Amico]

He's also gone vegetarian recently, so I think maybe.

[Robbie Wood]

Is that supposed to make you poop more? Because there's more like fiber and shit.

[Zach Amico]

I think he's very. I think he's. I think he's pretty light.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

So I've read on. I went to Healthline and a number of other sites. I did the research. I've looked at the medical journals, and they said anything between three times a week and three times a day is cromulent. Okay, it's fine.

[Joe Gorman]

That's a.

[Zach Amico]

That's a big perfect crown.

[Robbie Wood]

Is that the Simpsons word?

[Zach Amico]

Yes, it is lousy weather.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's part of lousy, lousy, smart diarrhea.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's perfectly fine. You're healthy enough. They say three times a day is the cusp.

[Joe Gorman]

So anywhere between three shits to 21 shits a week.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Joe Gorman]

Is healthy.

[Zach Amico]

And so we have the poll. Shannon, tell us about it.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

Okay, so I made a mistake and I didn't give an option for less than once a day.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

But people did comment if that was the case. I'm just going to share here the poll results.

[Shannon]

Here we go.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

So once like clockwork.

[Robbie Wood]

Once like clockwork.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

37%. Two to three times a day. 52%. More than 3. 8%. And I lose count. 4%.

[Robbie Wood]

I'm in that 4%.

[Joe Gorman]

But are we actually counting? Like, what if, like, sometimes you remember, like sometimes you go to the bathroom.

[Robbie Wood]

Wow, that is the most gas digital answer on. Opiates are off.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, sometimes, like you, you sit on the toilet, like, oh, I got a. Oh, a Phantom. Yeah, Phantom. And it's like, damn, what the hell? It's like a clean toilet paper wipe. I'm like, what happened here?

[Zach Amico]

I've never had that. If I have to see. If I have to. It is like MacGruber. Like, when I've noticed sometimes when girls have to shit, girls, like, I think I have to shit. And then it'll be like, I'll go in like an hour. If I have to shit, it is like 60, 59. It is always gonna be bad.

[Shannon]

Right?

[Joe Gorman]

It's a race against time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And for me, it's get up usually whenever I'm up. So today I did not wake up when my wife got up. So I think I slept through that one, but then I made up for it later in the morning.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that was a go. Go get ready and be like, all right, there's more in there.

[Shannon]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

So, yeah, it seems like half the people, two to three times a day we're feeling. Good morning, Zoo. If you have more information, if you want to talk to me about pooping, Za. Spook show or text Shannon or email Shannon. Bother Shannon.

[Robbie Wood]

That's your pictures of the poop.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If you have a really good one, send it right to Shadow.

[Robbie Wood]

She'll be proud of you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. She'll rate it. Shannon rates poops now on the show.

[Robbie Wood]

I do get proud when I drop a big, good one.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

I look at it like, robbie, good one. Robbie, good one.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Few and far between, but I'm like, hell, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

You feel healthy when you want all that poison that's out of me.

[Robbie Wood]

Yes, 100%.

[Zach Amico]

Whenever I have one that's really breaching where I'm like, I really. It really take. My first thought is, man, I can't wait to see it.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Especially when I could really tell. I'm going, capacity.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Sometimes I'll look back and be like, I can't believe it was that big.

[Joe Gorman]

I love it when it's snakes.

[Zach Amico]

When it's unbroken. When it's unbroken. That's very rare for me.

[Joe Gorman]

Mamma mia. I love that.

[Robbie Wood]

My favorite Ron White joke. It stuck with me since I was.

[Shannon]

A kid, was just. He goes.

[Robbie Wood]

And he goes, you ever take a crap so big your pants fit better?

[Zach Amico]

And then, of course, let's also, we can't discuss poop frequency without consistency. Shannon, bring up the Bristol chart.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, I'm very familiar with the Bristol chart.

[Zach Amico]

Joe, are we familiar?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yes.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so what are we saying? So I would. I'm going to just go based on today. So for people who don't know, we do this all the time. Bristol chart. These are the seven types of poop. One, separate hard lumps. Two, lumpy and sausage. Like three, a sausage shape with cracks in the surface. Four, which is apparently ideal, a smooth, soft sausage or snake. Five, soft blobs with clear cut edges. That's how I would describe the people at this table. Type. Six, mushy consistency with ragged edges. And seven, liquid consistency with no solid pieces. I would say today I'm at a 4.8.

[Joe Gorman]

Fascinating.

[Robbie Wood]

I've been at a 4 lately, but I've been plagued by a 6 and 5 in my. In my time.

[Zach Amico]

So 7. I feel like 7 means I'm sick. If 7 means I. 7 is the one that changes the temperature of the room. Like, you know, when the air gets thicker. Seven, I feel like, comes out hot.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But I would say I'm consistently at a late four, early five.

[Shannon]

Nice, Rob.

[Zach Amico]

You're. You're. You're a four boy.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, I would say when things are good.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Four is for sure, Joe.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm. I'm three or four. Three or four. Yeah, you're probably three point.

[Robbie Wood]

I like a three. Three can be satisfying, but three is nice.

[Zach Amico]

But it's very rare in my case. The cracks in it, I always want to. I always want to take a picture and send it to people.

[Joe Gorman]

I prefer some cracks because it makes it feel like smooth is like, oh, this is going to be some cleanup, you know?

[Zach Amico]

You know what? I agree with that. I agree with that. I would actually sometimes take a messier one because it's a better cleanup than the peanut butter consistency of before.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Jorge, what are we at right now?

[Jorge]

I've been at, like, a 3, 4 consistently for the last week.

[Zach Amico]

I would say Shannon won, of course.

[Joe Gorman]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Zero's a one. It's little pellets. Shannon has gerbil shits. Okay, well, thank you so much. Let's move into our first big story.

[Shannon]

Here we go.

[Zach Amico]

Lionel Richie says Michael Jackson had a nickname over his poor hygiene habits. And it was smelly.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, it's not bad.

[Zach Amico]

So, Shannon, tell us about Michael Smelley Jackson.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

So Lionel Richie talked about this in his new memoir that he just posted, and he said that the nickname came from Quincy Jones and said that also that Michael Jackson wasn't offended by it. He just realized that this was just a weird, silly thing. But it said the reason was that he was constantly on the road and wasn't able to hire a dry cleaner because they would often steal his clothes as souvenirs. He also couldn't just drop by a department store for new clothes due to his level of fame. And then so he just, like, got in the habit of just wearing the same clothes until they were unwearable anymore. And then it's a.

[Robbie Wood]

Buy new clothes every day.

[Joe Gorman]

Or don't you have, like, a personal assistant?

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

That's what you would think.

[Robbie Wood]

We'll just wash them at home. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Send somebody else to the laundromat.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, there's so many.

[Joe Gorman]

What?

[Zach Amico]

It just sounds like, dude, maybe a mentally ill person.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, I'm just gonna wear the same thing every day, actually.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I guess at a certain point they would know it was his. Yeah, like, hey, this Napoleon outfit with one glove. I think I have an idea who's.

[Robbie Wood]

This is either Eddie Murphy's or Michael Jackson's.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, as far as, like, he.

[Joe Gorman]

Could just own his own laundromat.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's very true. He could also just buy laundry.

[Robbie Wood]

There's so many things he could do. He gets clothes every single day.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

No, that's really it.

[Zach Amico]

And Leonard.

[Shannon]

What?

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

You said there were times where he would just be like, come over to my house and then just give him jeans and a T shirt or something. This all seems really avoidable, though.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it does. It does seem like maybe a mentally ill person.

[Shannon]

Right? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because, yeah, he has so many. He could send somebody. He could just buy new clothes every single day. He could just throw his clothes out.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

We all, in three seconds were able to troubleshoot a solution.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

And he has a team of experts on his. On hand for himself entourage.

[Zach Amico]

He could literally pay people to just scrub him.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

He can moonwalk through a car wash. That's very true.

[Zach Amico]

I didn't think of that.

[Joe Gorman]

He could pay for Macaulay Culkin to give him a sponge bath.

[Shannon]

There you go. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Isn't it. Didn't. Isn't he the one that had, like, a store shut down so he could find out what it would be like.

[Joe Gorman]

To shop something like that? I've heard that. I've also heard he would, like, wear prospect prosthetics and things to, like, go undercover and.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, yeah, I've seen him in. There's that great documentary with. I think his name is Martin Bashir. And that came out like, oh, six, where he just, like, hung out with Michael Jackson for, like, a week. And it's just like his bizarre everyday life. That's really good. I highly recommend it. But I think he went to a shop.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

And he just would like, I like.

[Zach Amico]

That, I like that, I like that.

[Robbie Wood]

And then it would just, like, all be bought for him as he was walking out, basically.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I've told you the. The. Who the fuck was it? Oh, Johnny Depp story.

[Shannon]

Right.

[Robbie Wood]

Which one is that?

[Zach Amico]

My buddy worked for the Stern show, but before that, he was a. When he was an intern at that, he worked nights at a hotel on Bowery, and he was like the desk guy. And Johnny Depp stayed there for, like, an extended period for some movie he was in. And he said that he never saw you never saw him. He had people check him in. He would come in with, like, an entourage, would whisk him Up. People would whisk him down. He was never by himself, right. And he had a ton of people like, did you form. It's like, he's very famous at this, but it's like 90s or maybe even early 2000s. And he said one day he calls the front desk and he's like, hello, you know, I. I need, I need a toothpaste. And they're like, oh, yeah, I'll send somebody up for you right now. We'll bring it to you. And he goes, I'd actually like to purchase it myself. And they go, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, go ahead if you want. And he goes, how do I do that? And he asked what store to go to and how to get there because he didn't know how to get toothpaste. What stores would have toothpaste?

[Robbie Wood]

That's every store. That's, that's, that's.

[Zach Amico]

And they had to explain to him what like, what a Duane Reed was.

[Robbie Wood]

That's funny because you can get. You can like, I get toothpaste for free at hotels. That's not.

[Joe Gorman]

That's like the best move.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's what he said. He said, oh, I will bring it up to you right now.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he's. No, no, I really.

[Robbie Wood]

Okay, I know you need Johnny Depp.

[Zach Amico]

Calling, but yeah, he really wanted to, like, fight.

[Robbie Wood]

Of all the things. Toothpaste.

[Joe Gorman]

How much does a toothpaste cost? $175.

[Robbie Wood]

It's a banana. What could it cost? A hundred dollars?

[Zach Amico]

But yeah, he had no idea how to do it. I always found that so weird. Like, that's all. But then you're like, oh, yeah, the guy hasn't been able to walk her. It's not. He can go to the mall.

[Robbie Wood]

My friend Doug Stanhopes bought some toothpaste. Very envious of that.

[Zach Amico]

Who was he? Where. It's the story for Fear and Loathing author Hunter S. Thompson. Hunter S. Thompson's. And I should know that. I'm sorry for his. Manson wrote a thing for when he died. And it was about a night playing poker in the back of like a Chinese restaurant. And it's Depp, Hunter S. Thompson, Marilyn Manson, and Nick Nolte.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, my God. Four guys who dress like magicians.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they all went out like driving around that night, and I think they had a blow up doll in the car.

[Shannon]

Oh, man.

[Zach Amico]

Just being animals.

[Robbie Wood]

Dude. That seems like a Scooby Doo villain car, right? They look at four together.

[Zach Amico]

Isn't that a horrified group of people?

[Robbie Wood]

They all dress so spooky.

[Joe Gorman]

You can smell the cocaine.

[Robbie Wood]

We all dress like. Okay, I'll dress like a. Let's all dress like.

[Zach Amico]

I have a wild feeling drugs were involved that night.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, those guys.

[Shannon]

Come on.

[Zach Amico]

What do you think Hunter S. Thompson had. So there's a story that Johnny Depp, like, lived on his floor for, like, a month to prepare to be him. He was just putting him through it. Right, Right.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah. It's like a training montage in the boundaries. Yeah, training montage. But instead of, like, learning kung fu, it's how to ingest multiple drugs.

[Robbie Wood]

Go on, do that acid now, there, kid.

[Zach Amico]

You know, it's been a while since we brought it up, so forgive me for people that have heard me talk about it before, but there is the excellent Hunter S. Thompson. The. The log of everything he ingests.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, I think that that had to be.

[Zach Amico]

It's bullshit. It's 100%. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

There's no way. He was like. Because he was like a line of cocaine.

[Robbie Wood]

Two bottles of Cheevers. It's like.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, all right.

[Joe Gorman]

And then he's like. Then a breakfast of a dozen eggs.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think two guys.

[Robbie Wood]

He loved his little tall tales, I thought.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Two guys from Vice, I think, or some. Some journalists tried to do it, and I think they said they tapped out at, like, hour 14.

[Robbie Wood]

That's funny.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but they tried to do it, like, hour by hour.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, I think he was full.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Here we go.

[Robbie Wood]

3Pm Ride. I could do that Chivas Riggle with the morning papers. Dunhills.

[Zach Amico]

And this is what Kyle reports. The sample daily routine for him. It begins at 3:00pm oh, my God.

[Robbie Wood]

Eugene Carroll, the woman who said that Trump raped her. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

This lady is always fucking lying. This lady can't keep a goddamn story straight, can she?

[Joe Gorman]

Doesn't know anything.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So then he drank a whole bottle of Cheevers.

[Joe Gorman]

He was on cocaine the whole time. Fucking liar.

[Zach Amico]

Before we go into this, did you guys see the thing that the Royal family was upset with? How Trump left his bedroom? No.

[Joe Gorman]

That's awesome.

[Zach Amico]

They said that, like, he stayed some, like, beautiful suite with the Royal family. And they complained that there was McDonald's wrappers. That's spray hand stains on. On the back.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

And they're like, every other president in history has had, like, somebody clean up.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Even if they didn't do it, like, they left.

[Robbie Wood]

Housekeeping will get it.

[Shannon]

Who cares?

[Zach Amico]

They left the room Dice. And they said he just fucking like the way I would treat a hotel room.

[Robbie Wood]

That's so funny.

[Zach Amico]

Just an absolute. It Made me kind of like a boy.

[Robbie Wood]

What am I, the Queen of England?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Every once in a while, he does something where I'm like, ah, you got me done.

[Joe Gorman]

That's our president.

[Robbie Wood]

Like Homer Simpson. Sometimes he's just like a.

[Zach Amico]

He is a. He's like, what if. Hilarious. Oaf.

[Robbie Wood]

He's King Ralph.

[Joe Gorman]

Sometimes housekeeping will get it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, whatever. All right, so bring it back up. We'll do that. We won't make too much of a meal, but 3pm rides. 3:05 Chiefs. Regal with the morning paper. Dunhills. 3. 45. Cocaine. I get it.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

I mean, if you like cocaine, if.

[Zach Amico]

You'Re gonna take the edge off, nothing really fixes a hangover quicker.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, it is kind of nice to do cocaine in the morning. Like, there's a sense of should do it. I mean, honestly, like, I feel I am 100% more productive in my day if instead of a cup of coffee, I just did a little. Just a little microdose it. Not a ton.

[Zach Amico]

If you wake up and you're super hungover.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

At a comedy festival first, per se.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The two things.

[Shannon]

A.

[Zach Amico]

A little. Just a little. Just. You always leave. I always say, you leave a little.

[Joe Gorman]

You gotta have a little taste.

[Zach Amico]

And at least a gummer would be. Yeah, but where are you gonna find an old lady to suck your dick? Or as a good friend of mine from Brooklyn says, a sauna or a hot tub. Because then everything that's left in your nasal cavity dissolves and goes back down and you get a nice little taste of the night before. Get in a hot tub and you submerge your head for a second.

[Robbie Wood]

Leftovers. It's like making a turkey sandwich after Thanksgiving.

[Zach Amico]

That's exactly the best part.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like the raw stuff. Sandwich.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The moist maker. All right, Bring it back up.

[Robbie Wood]

Somewhere on Barstow.

[Zach Amico]

So, yeah, we're going. 45 Coke. 50 glass. Achievements, Sig. Now we're going now. 405. First cup of coffee. Sig.

[Robbie Wood]

She was such an old man. Whiskey.

[Zach Amico]

415 Coke. 416 OJ, SIG. 430. 54, 505 Coke.

[Joe Gorman]

He's just a cokehead.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, pretty much. Now six. He's been up for three hours. Grass to take the edge off.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, that's nice.

[Zach Amico]

And now.

[Joe Gorman]

You don't want to wake and bake. You want to fucking make sure you're up before you.

[Robbie Wood]

He's up for three hours and he's like, oh, I'm stressed.

[Joe Gorman]

I got it.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn, this coke is Stressing me out.

[Zach Amico]

Seven. Oh, five. He's like, I should eat something. So he's. It's a Heineken. Two margs, coleslaw, taco salad, double order onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, bean fritter, cigs, Heineken, coke, and a snow cone for the ride home, which is a glass of shredded ice with three or four jiggers of Chivas. I don't want you serving them jiggers. And now 9pm Start snorting cocaine. What was it before? 10 drops acid. 11. Chartreuse, cocaine, grass. 11:30, cocaine. Midnight. Hunter is ready to write midnight to 6. Chartreuse, cocaine, Grass. She was. Coffee, Heineken, cloves, grapefruits, Dunhill's, OJ Gin. Continuous pornographic movies. Six. Six. And this one. This, to me, this is the decadent. This. This. I get hot tub, champagne. Dove Bar, Fettuccine Alfredo.

[Shannon]

Hell, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Nice heavy meal.

[Robbie Wood]

What is hot tub, champagne?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he came in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eight halcyon. 820 sleep. Every time I hear about somebody dying in a hot tub, I get it.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Every time I get in a hot tub, I think if I had drugs and liquor in this right now, it would be an issue.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I've even taken a drunk hot bath and been like, they might find me in here.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, no, dude.

[Zach Amico]

They're gonna have to pry me out of this hotel. A tub.

[Robbie Wood]

Don't. Don't. Don't do the Taft, dude.

[Zach Amico]

They're just so.

[Shannon]

Dude.

[Zach Amico]

A hot. Like a hot dude. And I was. I was just a little stoned, but I got me and my chick a room in Jersey with. And the room had a tub with jets. Oh, boy. I could have been in there all night. I am a. Yeah. I am a fat, happy woman.

[Robbie Wood]

No, I love a spa amenity. Thing like that. I've been trying to find a gym with a steam room. Not to suck off guys, but you'd.

[Zach Amico]

Be the other guy in there who.

[Robbie Wood]

Doesn'T want to do that. Yeah, I just want to get my steam on. I love a steam. I love a sauna, hot tub, all that stuff.

[Zach Amico]

You know what I want to do? It sounds so lame, but I just watched a video on the Russian thing where they beat you with the leaves.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, yeah, they have.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Right down the street, actually, the bathhouse. The Russian and Turkish baths. The one in Wall Street's really good, actually.

[Zach Amico]

That one looks. That looks really. And then they had a restaurant in it, and you get a little cocktail or two in you.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, you can borscht yeah, it's like, right down that. There's one right down the street. That one's not that good, though. The one. The Wal. Streets.

[Joe Gorman]

Really? Let's go to the one down the streets. Right here.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, already here.

[Robbie Wood]

This one. It's. It's. It's just very crowded.

[Zach Amico]

I've been.

[Robbie Wood]

And there's just, like, old fat guys there. But it's pretty cool. Yeah, it's a good experience.

[Zach Amico]

I wish I remembered which one it was. There's a great Instagram ad. And by Instagram ad, I mean they just put a camera in somebody's face as they were leaving, and it was Pauly Shore talking about the Russian.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah, man. It makes you feel good, man.

[Zach Amico]

I've been going here for 45 years. I got a mustache.

[Robbie Wood]

Scow mule, bud.

[Zach Amico]

All right, keep it moving. I want to try and do this without spoiling the show, but I do want to talk about Fortnite taking away. Oh, yeah, the Peacemaker emote.

[Joe Gorman]

This directly affects me.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, I heard about this. I mean, I think I can surmise why they did that.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, I am. I love Peacemaker. Huge James gunmark.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I will say.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Love Superman.

[Robbie Wood]

I like Superman.

[Shannon]

I like.

[Zach Amico]

Really good.

[Robbie Wood]

I have a question about Peacemaker, though.

[Zach Amico]

Go ahead.

[Robbie Wood]

So you know how they switched over DC in between season one and two? Is it in the old canon or is it, like a new canon? Or is it a new story with the same character?

[Zach Amico]

So some people from old canon are being. Are gonna count. And what they did was they kind of retconned. So the end of the first season, he gets visited by the Justice League. Yeah, I remember now. They retconned it and that. It's new Superman.

[Robbie Wood]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And you don't see the other people.

[Robbie Wood]

Ezra's not in it anymore.

[Zach Amico]

No, I don't. I don't think they don't. Ezra, he's stuck in.

[Joe Gorman]

He's stuck in that alternate Batman Forever.

[Robbie Wood]

Excuse me.

[Shannon]

They.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I thought. I thought they dropped that. After they. After the allegations dropped, they're like, you know what?

[Shannon]

I'm.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, never mind.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm actually just a cool.

[Robbie Wood]

I'm a cool guy. Joe Rogan. Please have me on.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Please get me a spot at the mothership.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So, yes, it is. They are in this world.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It is canon.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like if James. So he just.

[Robbie Wood]

He just basically was like, I'll take what I liked from the old.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Like, I'm sure they're not gonna recast Harley Quinn.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If they were to do that.

[Robbie Wood]

But all the main supporting characters are the same in the show.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Robbie Wood]

Okay.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then some of it actually carries. So what I love is. And this is very nerdy. I apologize. There's characters from Creature Commandos who are can. The cartoons are also canon.

[Joe Gorman]

Everything James Gunn makes now is.

[Zach Amico]

It's all part of the shared and the people. It's the same voice in the cartoon as whoever play will play it hypothetically.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

So, like, Rick Flag Senior is the leader in Creature Commandos. He is now the leader of Argus.

[Shannon]

Cool.

[Zach Amico]

In.

[Robbie Wood]

That's great.

[Joe Gorman]

It's Frank Grillo in both.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, yeah, Watch it.

[Shannon]

I love.

[Robbie Wood]

I loved. I'm not even, like, super as into superhero stuff as I used to be, but all the James Gunn stuff.

[Joe Gorman]

No, the James Gunn stuff is good.

[Robbie Wood]

It gets over Suicide Squad. I fucking love. That was a great movie.

[Zach Amico]

So loving the new season. There's a big reveal and that has been hinted at, I would say.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, you very slowly.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, I. We. We were talking about, like, three episodes.

[Shannon]

Right, Right.

[Zach Amico]

Like, yeah, yeah, we call. I. I was talking about that pretty early, right?

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

Yeah, I would say maybe three episodes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. My chick saw it on Reddit.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So. And Peacemakers in Fortnite and Base. So we'll just say that there is multiple dimensions and maybe there's a dimension where World War II didn't go the way it went in real life.

[Joe Gorman]

Are you scared about that, Robert?

[Zach Amico]

If I was on that, if I.

[Robbie Wood]

Was in that Reich, it wouldn't have gone down like that.

[Zach Amico]

And when you watch the opening of Peace, because it opens with a dance and it's a new one to a new song. John Cena goes like this.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Everybody goes like. They all do it. But in. Yeah, in Peacemaker. The Peacemaker in Fortnite does it. And people have noticed that.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, it's a swastika.

[Zach Amico]

It's the same dance that was it Donald Duck does when he was a.

[Joe Gorman]

Nazi in that propaganda.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And it's also the same dance they do in Springtime for Hitler in the Producers.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Joe Gorman]

Careful, we might get demonetized for this bad one.

[Robbie Wood]

I'm down the Duck. Wow.

[Joe Gorman]

Now people are going to, like, now, like, well, now, like, no matter what. No matter what the intention was now, like, the alt right's going to, like, fucking take that now. There's going to be, like, people on Tick Tock being like, I stand with Peacemaker and all.

[Robbie Wood]

Are they just gonna bring him back and just get rid of that dance?

[Joe Gorman]

Who knows?

[Zach Amico]

Because the emote just. The dance is off of Fortnite.

[Shannon]

Okay. Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm gonna get my V bucks back, baby. Don't worry about it. Don't worry, dude.

[Zach Amico]

But what's very funny is there's people who don't watch it who are very defensive immediately. Like, that's just the thing you do with your arms sometimes. And then there's other people that are like, no, he's being a knot. And then other people like, no, he's doing the dance. That from the show.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they were foreshadowing a plot device in the show. Just because they talk about something doesn't mean they are supporting it.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, it is funny that there's people who like, immediately rush any time that there is like, a dog whistle, which sounds like it was intentional in Peacemaker. But no, that's just a normal dance. Everybody does that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, everybody does that.

[Joe Gorman]

Cool dance.

[Zach Amico]

Well, nowadays, dance is your chance to hate the Jews.

[Robbie Wood]

From my heart.

[Zach Amico]

Jew me, baby from my heart to yours. This is very funny to me that people are like. And then. Because when you read the comments, people are so already ready with their opinion before anything could come out.

[Robbie Wood]

Of course.

[Zach Amico]

And then it's so funny because then on Reddit, I try to stay away from Reddit, but I do do the peacemaker at it. And there's just people that are like, fucking James Gunn more woke bullshit. Fighting white supremacists and Nazis. Like, what the fuck do white people have to be the enemy in everything now it's dc. A peacemaker's dad was a fuck. Was the Grand Dragon.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Or I believe that's correct. And it's like when people got mad at Superman and it's like, that's what Superman does. Superman punches Nazis.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

He kills fast.

[Robbie Wood]

So that's like a thing that's like a. Like, Peacemaker is like a throwback to, like, it's like a satire. Like the classic, like, you know, almost like Captain America, basically.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, he's. By any means.

[Shannon]

That's.

[Robbie Wood]

That was like the whole Captain America thing. Was he like, fought like Red Skull in the Nazis.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like, okay, but like, that's what. Yeah, that's what superheroes from the fucking 40s and 50s did.

[Robbie Wood]

Sorry. Nazis are like the perfect cartoon villains. They dress the part, they look the part, they act the part. It's perfect for comics.

[Zach Amico]

Too bad they're so awesome to look at.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, they really are cool looking.

[Robbie Wood]

You go boss dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Especially like when they. When they get into the occult shit like in Wolfenstein. Now that's a Cool Nazi. The Wolfenstein Nazis.

[Zach Amico]

Those are pretty.

[Joe Gorman]

Those are fucking. The robotic ones. You get the robotics. You get the robotics in there. You get, like, the fucking demons and shit.

[Zach Amico]

Come on. I love.

[Robbie Wood]

I do love that. Like, more woke. It's like the Nazis were enemies in movies before black people could vote. So I don't know, Like, I don't know where you're getting this DEI from live.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man. Can I be a super fucking weird conspiracy nerd and talk to you guys about a thing?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, can you please look up the artist that thought he could astrally project and described Jupiter? So there was an artist. He was a painter. And something else.

[Robbie Wood]

Did someone say Jupiter?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he.

[Robbie Wood]

Mazel toffee.

[Zach Amico]

I went on a deep dive about this guy this week because I saw a video and then I started reading shit. And my buddy Lee is a crazy conspiracy guy. And I immediately was like, what do you know about this, Shannon, did you find the name?

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

Ingo Swan.

[Zach Amico]

Ingo Swann. Thank you. So he claimed, and he had a different name for it, but basically that he could actually project himself. And they would give him coordinates on Earth. And he said he could close his eyes, essentially meditate and see it.

[Shannon]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

And he would describe. Like, they would give him coordinates, more or less, and he would be like, there's mountains. Is this. There's this. And he could describe. He said he could describe anywhere on the planet. So then they decide to really test him and they give him coordinates on Jupiter. And he goes, yeah, there's. There's these ice rings and then there's a lot of volcanic action. He basically describes all this ship. And this is before we had ever seen close up Jupiter.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Why?

[Robbie Wood]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

But it's all nonsense at the time because we never.

[Robbie Wood]

How would you know?

[Zach Amico]

We've never had a camera close to it. Decades later, we see Jupiter and he's fucking right.

[Shannon]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Because first of all, people didn't know Jupiter had rings. They thought Saturn had rings.

[Shannon]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

And the volcano was right. The ice thing was right. And then they classified the shit out of all of his. All the shit the government did with this guy.

[Robbie Wood]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

And he claimed. He has a book where he claims that everyone can do it. He's just. It's basically one of those things where we don't use all of our brains.

[Shannon]

Yeah. Yeah. And that.

[Zach Amico]

He just feels like he maybe was born with just that little bit extra 1%.

[Joe Gorman]

He was born limitless.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Where he can access it. And he wanted to try to teach other people how to do it. And he said that we are not limited to our bodies, but our brains connect us to everything and we all can see.

[Robbie Wood]

So you're saying we have some sort of body brain connection?

[Zach Amico]

Yes, yes. And after your next cup of coffee, we could talk all about it.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But first, this word from our sponsors.

[Robbie Wood]

Feeling the tongue Cat Ali through my brains as I go to Jupiter.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, guys, you ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created body brain coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone. Packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and yeah, the bedroom too. And it's not just about testosterone. Body brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity and mood. Thanks to Lion's Mane Ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters in a crash, body brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm and locked in, all while supporting your natural T levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset, and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. And you can save 15% today with the promo code ZOO15Z O [e-mail]. that's bodybraincoffee.com promo code ZOO15. Power your day, fuel your drive. Let's get back into the program. Slither. Okay. But anyway, I've been on a big deep dive on that, and that sounds.

[Robbie Wood]

I will tell you, crazy. I love that stuff.

[Joe Gorman]

I want to. Give me the coordinates for a woman's bathroom.

[Robbie Wood]

Did he confirm that girls go to Jupiter to get more stupid?

[Zach Amico]

Jupiter.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. 100.

[Robbie Wood]

Thank God.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's. That's where they go.

[Joe Gorman]

I see a location where the brain cells of a woman are severely reduced.

[Zach Amico]

It's called the mall.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Shannon]

Let me tell you. All right.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, moving on.

[Robbie Wood]

I don't want to say she's cheating on me, but she asked. Projected my ass to space.

[Shannon]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

Newlywed couple seeks divorce because their pets aren't getting along. Shannon, I know this is stupid, but.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

I really like the story.

[Zach Amico]

Would you find it on Jupiter or something?

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

So it's a young couple from India.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, baby girl, I can't believe it.

[Robbie Wood]

Or I'm going to if they were.

[Zach Amico]

A couple from China, that just meant they had induction.

[Joe Gorman]

Your pet king cobra ate my pet.

[Robbie Wood]

Rat, not my rat.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

So they initially bonded over their love for animals. They became friends and then later got married. After tying the knot In December of 2024, they moved in together, and that's when things started to go south. The wife said her husband's dog harassed and even attacked her cat repeatedly. While he claimed. He made it clear before marriage that the woman would not bring pets in when they moved in together, adding that her cat would hover over the fish tank and create tension in the household. The woman refused to give up her cat and kept accusing her husband's dog of being aggressive. The husband sided with the canine, she sided with the cat, and they weren't able to get past it, and they got divorced.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Kick my dog.

[Joe Gorman]

Talk about. Talk about third world problems.

[Robbie Wood]

This is why the parents need to go back to arranging it.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

My God, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you got it. Well, first of all, he did get that dog in the dowry.

[Robbie Wood]

That's true.

[Zach Amico]

So they can't get rid of it. That is so funny that the cat hates the fish and the dog hates the cat.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

That's awesome. That's like, perfect. Perfect fucking cartoon symmetry.

[Zach Amico]

I think she just needs to get an animal that hates the dog.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Then we have a full.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

That is a can standoff.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That way it's all. Yeah. What do you get to fight the tiger?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

A tiger that's also afraid of a goldfish to.

[Zach Amico]

And then the goldfish runs the show.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Which is also in fear of getting the cat. So it's all, like, perfectly checks and balances.

[Robbie Wood]

The goldfish is in charge.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I think we need to send Jackson Galaxy over there. They have Jackson Galaxy go to India. I don't know if you guys are fans. Jackson Galaxy from my cat from hell. Is that what it's called, Shannon?

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

Yes, it is. And I think that's assuming the cat's the problem. I think Caesar needs to go over there.

[Joe Gorman]

The dog whisperer.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

What kind of dog is it?

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

They don't say.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn. Because that could also be like a. Because, like, my dog and cat don't really get along along. But my dog's like a little piece of. So it's not.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's not as big an issue where he's just like, ah, he's a little guy.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If the dog was a piece of, it would be in the street. That's Jackson Galaxy.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, nice.

[Zach Amico]

He fixes cats.

[Robbie Wood]

Jackson Galaxy Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And he brings all his cat tools in a guitar case.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He's the. He's the guy Fieri of cat fixing.

[Robbie Wood]

This guy wants to be a magician so bad.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's.

[Joe Gorman]

Or a rock star or something like that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Galaxy.

[Zach Amico]

He's so smooth.

[Joe Gorman]

Or like a pickup artist.

[Zach Amico]

He look. He looks like his brain is extra big.

[Robbie Wood]

Looks like a David Cross character.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, he does.

[Joe Gorman]

Mr. Show 100. A Mr. Show.

[Robbie Wood]

Common name is Jackson Galaxy Thing. I'm here.

[Zach Amico]

Not too far. You're not too far off. By the way, he is extremely gay. I don't think. I don't actually. I'm not sure if he is gay, but very feminine.

[Robbie Wood]

Animal people are all like, can I.

[Zach Amico]

Ask a dumb question?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think I know any Indian. Indian. Indian people with dogs.

[Robbie Wood]

Well, a lot of Middle Eastern people don't really. Or like South Asian don't like dogs that much.

[Joe Gorman]

Honestly. It's that culture thing. They love cows.

[Zach Amico]

Well, enough about my wife. I'm thinking about all the Indian kids I grew up with.

[Joe Gorman]

Don't they have. Don't they have that, like.

[Shannon]

I.

[Joe Gorman]

And this is. People are gonna get mad about this, but they actually have, like a festival where they kill dogs publicly in India.

[Zach Amico]

Do they?

[Joe Gorman]

No, they festival. I think there's a festival where they kill dogs in front of.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Shannon.

[Joe Gorman]

Ritualistic.

[Robbie Wood]

They won't kill the cows, but they kill the dog. They're all.

[Joe Gorman]

They gotta kill stuff.

[Zach Amico]

I don't want to see it, but I want to know if it happens.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Pull up that beautiful dog.

[Zach Amico]

And for those of you that get upset that we show too much animal death, you. But also, I don't want to see.

[Joe Gorman]

That you're trying to get to the bottom of this.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

It seems like it's their version of the dog meat festival.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, well, well, Old Joey G. Was right. I know everything about every other cult. I know everything that, like, backs up my racist view on other cultures.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, you want.

[Zach Amico]

You.

[Shannon]

You.

[Robbie Wood]

You want the ability to be a racist with the highest amount of specific specificity.

[Joe Gorman]

They gotta know. You gotta hit them where? Like, oh, yeah, for your fucking dog murder festival. Yeah, enjoy that.

[Zach Amico]

Hot.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

It seems like very. This is horrible. Yeah, it seems like they just, like, put all the dogs in, like, a pit and then just like, beat them to death.

[Robbie Wood]

Jesus Christ.

[Joe Gorman]

See that, dude? And you're gonna let these people, like, know your.

[Robbie Wood]

And this. And these guys are head of the address.

[Joe Gorman]

This is where you're gonna get your butter chicken from? I don't think so.

[Robbie Wood]

God damn Stop killing dogs and just give me a key to the bathroom already.

[Joe Gorman]

Come on.

[Zach Amico]

If the dog doesn't work, unplug it and plug it back in.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

God, that's brutal. But I just. Yeah. I'm trying to think. I don't think I know it. Like, I mean, Indian, but not, like, American.

[Shannon]

No.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, my.

[Jorge]

So I know. I know a little bit about this.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Jorge, please.

[Joe Gorman]

Here we go.

[Jorge]

So a lot in Islam, dogs are considered, like, unclean.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah.

[Jorge]

And so they, like, stay away from them. That's why they don't really have them as pets.

[Zach Amico]

And that's Islam, not Indians, but similar culture.

[Jorge]

I mean, culturally, it's, like, one of the biggest religions over there as well.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay.

[Jorge]

And I only know this because when Hezbollah came to America, the Nelk boys tried to surprise him with a bunch of puppies, but then he got scared and ran away, and everybody was, like, confused. And then he was like, oh, it's against my religion.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, yeah. My Afghan grandma, like, does not like dogs.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, I'm sorry. That's a gross fucking religion, then, because I love my fucking dog.

[Zach Amico]

Well, he was also skit. Well, didn't he Hezbollah also get in trouble for beating his cat?

[Jorge]

Yeah. But, I mean, everybody's allowed to do that.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the thing that's. That's not a fair fight.

[Robbie Wood]

A cat versus Hezbollah.

[Shannon]

That little kid.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That's like.

[Joe Gorman]

He's like.

[Robbie Wood]

By the way, he must hate the Rizzler.

[Joe Gorman]

He has, like, the Gary Coleman disease.

[Robbie Wood]

The Rizzler is, like, the. The substance young version of Hezbollah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

There's always, like, a weird little creepy fucking person thing. There's always, like. Cause before that, it was Mini Me. Before Hezbollah, it was Mini Me.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Hezbollah had his moment, though. He had a DLC card that Frank got me for my birthday one year. Hezbollah was all over the place.

[Joe Gorman]

I think, like, when everyone found out Hezbollah was actually an adult, it was, like.

[Zach Amico]

It got weird.

[Robbie Wood]

It was Andy Milonakis.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Where it's like, oh, you let people, like, fuck it. Oh, I don't mean to, but, like, you instinctively want to fucking hold him like a little baby.

[Zach Amico]

That's what Mike Tyson got in trouble for grabbing, like. And then he's like, yeah, I thought he was a baby.

[Robbie Wood]

Now kiss.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I thought he was a bit.

[Robbie Wood]

I thought it was a baby.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, remember he was gonna fight that other little. The singer. There was another little fucking. Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

There was, like, a little, like, they had, like, a little encounter.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. There's some other weird little muzzy. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

That he was gonna fight what is in their water.

[Zach Amico]

Who was, by the way, gonna fuck him up every time they got in each other's faces. That other one was way more mobile. Like, I think Hezbollah had the training because he like hung out with the fighters. Well, that other one was going to fuck him up. You know what I'm talking about?

[Robbie Wood]

No, I'm never. I don't know anything about.

[Joe Gorman]

No, there was like going to be like a little fight between the two.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And I don't think anyone would sanction it.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because it would just be like too adorable. Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

We can't have a. We can't have a tiny fight.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon. Do you remember what I'm talking about?

[Robbie Wood]

Ishkull has both a fighter and the kids.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

I just found this video. I'm not sure if this.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's okay. See that?

[Joe Gorman]

Look at that. That's cute boot.

[Robbie Wood]

I kind of look like. Look at that.

[Joe Gorman]

I kind of look like that guy.

[Shannon]

When I was a kid.

[Robbie Wood]

I was.

[Joe Gorman]

Look at this, look at this.

[Zach Amico]

Does he really have to get up to separate. Yeah, he's still on his knees, both by the forehead.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my God.

[Robbie Wood]

I look just like that. I look just like that kid.

[Joe Gorman]

They have have little kid faces, little kid voices and little kid teeth.

[Jorge]

This does look like alternate universe. Robbie and Dalton.

[Robbie Wood]

And Joe's in the middle. Same size as now.

[Joe Gorman]

That little guy's getting all worked up.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, my God, he took off his hat. He was like, now it's real.

[Zach Amico]

Now it's real.

[Robbie Wood]

That was adorable.

[Joe Gorman]

That's wild. Yeah. You can't take them seriously.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta want to see the. There has to be. See, that's how the Saudis will win me over. Yeah, that's going to. That's going to be the need to be the fight that they put on for me, for me to be like, you know what, guys? We submit.

[Robbie Wood]

Happy comedy festival of tiny men Fighting.

[Zach Amico]

That would get me. Yeah, that would get me better than.

[Robbie Wood]

Tim Dillon's price of a seafood tower, by the way.

[Zach Amico]

Shout out. Power Slap this weekend. El Oso, El Bruno. El Oso Blanco. My boy. You fucking kill it out there, all right? My boy's been training. He's out there right now.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Zach Amico]

I talked to him the other night. They got him put up at the circa.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, shit.

[Zach Amico]

All right. He just checked in. I went, check the shower, check the shower. Do you have the marble bench? And he was like, I do. And I'm like, fuck yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

So shout out, Bruno. Fucking kill it. This Week.

[Robbie Wood]

What's the marble bench in the circa.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, in the shower. There's, like, a marble bench in the shower with three shower heads, if you get the nice rooms.

[Robbie Wood]

That's nice.

[Shannon]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

And Best hungover shower of my life. Really opens up your pores and your nasal cavities, if you know what I mean.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Sounds nice. Sounds like a blast.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, shout out, Bruno. And if you watch Power Slap, bet on my boy seven feet tall.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, wow.

[Robbie Wood]

Why is he playing basketball?

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Robbie Wood]

Well, he should be playing basketball because.

[Zach Amico]

He'S an angry Cuban.

[Shannon]

Oh, yeah. Nice.

[Robbie Wood]

You know, Latino's not that good at basketball. Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he's a. He's a. He's a big, angry. Shannon met him.

[Shannon]

He did? Yes.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

And he was. He's been on my show.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah, he's a sweet boy.

[Robbie Wood]

Sounds like your type, Shannon.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

Actually, I do enjoy the height very much.

[Robbie Wood]

Seven feet angry.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's. Well, we got another 10 minutes. Store owner had enough and starts attacking thieves with baseball bat. One of my favorite genres. Thieves getting up. Let's see.

[Robbie Wood]

That is fun. Instant.

[Zach Amico]

Vengeance, of course, is that sound again.

[Joe Gorman]

World star hip hop.

[Shannon]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I love it. See?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, here we go.

[Shannon]

Oh, you kick my dog.

[Joe Gorman]

Dogs aren't the only thing we beat to death.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I love it. I love it.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

Nice.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that him up.

[Robbie Wood]

Jesus Christ.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God. This is my exact.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, there we go. He's about to throw hands.

[Robbie Wood]

He got in karate stance.

[Zach Amico]

He ain't doing much. He's kind of just watching his friend get up. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

What are they trying to. Oh, man.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he is.

[Robbie Wood]

I'm surprised that they're still.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, that guy's not conscious.

[Joe Gorman]

That's brutal. Damn, that's heavy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I love it. And I love that they, like, want to square up now. It's like, guys, we were very wrong.

[Joe Gorman]

They got fucked up. There they go.

[Zach Amico]

Guys, this went poorly for us. We cannot square up now. And now. Try and be like, yeah, what about now?

[Robbie Wood]

Let me ask Shohei Ohtani over there.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I love it. I do love. I love watching a good. My favorite is the guy that tries to steal all the cigarettes, and he's got, like, the garbage can, and the guys just come out with the big stick and beat the. Out of them.

[Robbie Wood]

That's cool.

[Joe Gorman]

There was one where there's, like, a security guard has, like, a GoPro, like, strapped to his, like, forehead, and he keeps going around, like, the projects, and, like, he is always, like, pulling a gun on people, telling him to get Down. He has, like a taser stuff. It looks like a video game the way it is, like, where he's like, get down. Get down on the ground.

[Zach Amico]

Stop that.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like always, like, breaking up fights and stuff.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, big far cry vibes.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's just something. So we. The rule on the show is once you cross the counter, if you go behind the counter.

[Shannon]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

I think it is perfectly fine to beat the dog shit out of you.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

I mean, like, what?

[Zach Amico]

Cause now you're encroaching on someone else's space and their business and their livelihood.

[Robbie Wood]

So it's bodega law.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, bodega law. You don't go behind the thing.

[Robbie Wood]

Don't go behind the thing.

[Zach Amico]

There's a reason in the hood they have the fucking glass thing that you have to spin her. Oh, dude, that's another great thing.

[Robbie Wood]

It's the whole inciting incident of do the right thing.

[Zach Amico]

The lesbian, the fat black, like, stud.

[Shannon]

Who?

[Zach Amico]

The two Indian guys just fuck her up because she goes behind the thing, the glass, and then they pistol whip her.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, shit.

[Zach Amico]

And everyone's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. She had enough. She had enough.

[Shannon]

That's hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude, that's my other. Have you guys watched the videos? That's. What's your stud name? What's your real name?

[Robbie Wood]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Shannon. So they go up to, like, hardcore black lesbians and be like, what's your stud name? And be like, demonic. What's your real name? She'd be like, Jessica. And it's just a compilation. Yeah. Of just like, hard black lesbians having to say what their birth name is. It is the best, princess.

[Shannon (continued or assistant)]

I found a TikTok of that, but I also found the woman behind the counter.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, let's do one behind the counter first.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Come on, come on.

[Zach Amico]

Now. She's locked in there with them, by the way.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me.

[Robbie Wood]

Her jeans say no cap. That's all. That's so funny.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice, Dude.

[Zach Amico]

He's poking her in the ribs with the gun.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, hell yeah, dude.

[Robbie Wood]

Classic.

[Joe Gorman]

Chill out.

[Robbie Wood]

Classic Korean black conflict in a bodega.

[Joe Gorman]

That's the song Black and Yellow's about.

[Shannon]

Get out here now.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, these guys are serious. Yeah, These guys beat the out of their kids.

[Robbie Wood]

He's taking out a lot of anger at black people in general. Jesus.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, this guy's had a couple bad days. Yeah, just. That's a one of these days, guys.

[Joe Gorman]

That's the reparation this what you get.

[Robbie Wood]

For beating Mitt Romney.

[Zach Amico]

All right, now can you bring up the. The stud name versus I really. These make me so happy.

[Joe Gorman]

Little pallet cleanser.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, this is just. Just nonviolent, non violent, happy fun after.

[Joe Gorman]

Watching a woman nearly get killed.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, that was deservedly. That was a. That was a stocky lady, though.

[Guest/Caller]

What your stud name is. All right, I'm with that. But what your real name is. What your son name is, Bro.

[Zach Amico]

Day off Friday night and I thought I'm not the one that's running. I'm a batch of your.

[Guest/Caller]

But what's your real name? Your son name is. Man W. Baby, man, you know what's going on, man. Don't around, man. I'm with that. But what your real name is. Hey, bro, what's up? What your son name is? They call me Big Red. Also Diamond. So what your f. Name is Diamond.

[Robbie Wood]

That's adorable.

[Joe Gorman]

Look how they smile when they say their real name. As if they know masculinity is Ziggy baby.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Something holding them back.

[Guest/Caller]

Ashley.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, being a girl is probably more fun.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, dude, it's way more fun to be a chick.

[Guest/Caller]

What's your story name is?

[Zach Amico]

Kilo.

[Guest/Caller]

Hit in a back. Yeah. But what your real name is, though? Te as I like the Asia.

[Joe Gorman]

They love saying their real name.

[Guest/Caller]

What your son name is?

[Zach Amico]

Monroe Martin.

[Robbie Wood]

Looks like Lil Wayne.

[Guest/Caller]

A. I love a nice. Oh, my God. What's your story name is Hazy. You already know what it is.

[Joe Gorman]

It's kind of crazy to think about it. I feel like the black female community was kind of.

[Robbie Wood]

That's crazy.

[Joe Gorman]

Forerunners of the trans community.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Those are some masculine.

[Joe Gorman]

Look at that, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Well, for me, it was the first time I went to Pride. I just remember though, like those kind of ladies.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Having hot like Puerto Rican girls in headlocks. Like, they would sit on stoops and have like the boxers and the undershirt. And then they would have like a lipstick lesbian just in a headlock watching guys walk by like, this one's mine, right? But then the second they melt, they kind of melt when they say their real name.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's like fiddle dd.

[Joe Gorman]

It releases them from the. The curse of mercy.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, exactly.

[Zach Amico]

That would be nice, wouldn't it? Just. Just to be a lady for so.

[Robbie Wood]

Many more male to female transes than the other way around.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Fun.

[Zach Amico]

It does look fun.

[Robbie Wood]

It seems like a blast. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What a fun day. What a fun.

[Robbie Wood]

All the time.

[Zach Amico]

And I like that Joe instinctively plays with his hair, thinking about being a lady.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, it'd be so nice. Josephine, what's your stud name? Joe.

[Robbie Wood]

Black guys, dude, where they film each other just calling up their friends and wishing them good night. Let's call this friend. Be like, hey, yo, what's up? He's like, yo, what's going on, man? He's like, yo, I just. Just want to say good night. Sweet dreams.

[Zach Amico]

What the Are you talking.

[Joe Gorman]

I love that. Good for them.

[Zach Amico]

Well, think it's got to be freeing to be, like, in the black community. These poor guys can't even eat a hot dog.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Pause, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's kind of sus eating a glizzy. You eating a glizzy in public.

[Robbie Wood]

How you gonna eat a glizzy?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's got to be freeing.

[Robbie Wood]

I don't need a man named Nathan's.

[Zach Amico]

Hebrew National. They control the media.

[Robbie Wood]

I'm not gonna say what kind of.

[Zach Amico]

Hot dog this is.

[Robbie Wood]

I'm not gonna say that it was a Jewish hot dog.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's get one more thing out of here. Oh, sure. Let's do one more fight video.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The Kid Larrell's crew fights bar security.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, nice.

[Zach Amico]

Now, I am unfamiliar with the Kid Larrell, but these broccoli boys.

[Shannon]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. There's Kid.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, no, he's in Fortnite.

[Zach Amico]

Kid Laroi.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, you can't be as a misspelling of Leroy in a white name, a white boy. I don't see this. Okay, now, here's a tiny chain, Gillis.

[Robbie Wood]

I'll. You up, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Anything good?

[Robbie Wood]

I'm on Ozempic. Dude, you up?

[Shannon]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Anything good? Anything good? God damn it. Tmz it up.

[Joe Gorman]

I know they fuck that water.

[Robbie Wood]

Get that watermark out of here.

[Zach Amico]

That sounded racist. You can't yell that in the middle of a fight, Robbie.

[Joe Gorman]

The hell's going on?

[Robbie Wood]

You know, 10 of the watermarks take up 80% of the.

[Joe Gorman]

He killed him. He killed him. He's dead. Kid Leroy rest in piss.

[Zach Amico]

He's dead. He's dead.

[Robbie Wood]

He was a union man.

[Zach Amico]

I've never gotten the. The going to the club, that might be a fight thing.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, I don't either.

[Zach Amico]

I've only gone, like, maybe twice to nights that were kind of like that. And, like, I got dragged there, and the whole time, it's so uncomfortable, right? Like, the aggression of, like, maybe I'm gonna get pussy. Maybe I'm gonna. That's.

[Joe Gorman]

That's where it all comes from.

[Robbie Wood]

But I don't get do People go there to fight, kind of.

[Joe Gorman]

No, I think if they go to the peacock. So part of peacocking is like, maybe I will get into a fight to establish my dominance.

[Robbie Wood]

How you gonna peacock?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I. And I. I get a nervous tummy.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I get real nervous around real men.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

I gotta think, like, I mean, it's not real men. Those are just going somewhere to fight. That's just like, I. I get.

[Zach Amico]

I get nervous. I. I went to one. It was a very Puerto Rican night, and I knew the bouncer and the bartender.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I just had upset tummy the whole time. And it was a place with a bathroom attendant. And. Oh, man, I didn't have money at the time. At this point, I like, three times. I was. I had nervous diarrhea.

[Robbie Wood]

We're on the. We're on the Bristol chart.

[Zach Amico]

Are we talking 7, 6, 6, 8? Oh, yeah. 6.8.

[Robbie Wood]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

And. And it's just real bad. And I just remember the whole time I'm. It was when the Shot song was real big shot. Shot Shot. That was real big at the time. And I was. And I just remember every time I was in there, somebody would walk in and go, man, who come to the club and take a. You making a doo doo at the club? And I was, like, the only one wearing, like, Converse knew it was me. I had. I. I didn't have a collared shirt. I had to go to deals and discounts that day and buy one. Oh, man, I looked like Jonah Hill and super bad.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

With, like, the. The collared shirt that barely fit me.

[Robbie Wood]

That's a cool look, though.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I was. It was humiliating.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Zach Amico]

One of the worst nights. Oh, I hated it.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

That's brutal.

[Zach Amico]

And then the poor bathroom attendant would put his hand out every time I was in there.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, dude, you're not.

[Robbie Wood]

Yeah, I get.

[Zach Amico]

I gave you money. The first. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

No, you can't get, like, the.

[Robbie Wood]

That tip is like, you have diarrhea. You can't get it. The guys be like, all right, you.

[Joe Gorman]

Can maybe like, one tip after the first bathroom break, and then maybe it's not a bartender.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not looking for quicker service. Right.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like, I can do this myself. I don't need.

[Zach Amico]

I don't need any of your help.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, you're not wiping my ass and, like, putting baby powder on me.

[Zach Amico]

Leave the alone. I. What is the bathroom attendant tipped for? Just the mints and the, like, if.

[Joe Gorman]

They give mints or something.

[Robbie Wood]

I think it's Like a dollar a thing, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. It's always like. It's so infrequent that I have no idea what the etiquette is.

[Joe Gorman]

It's all complimentary, but the idea is if you take something, you provide some kind of a tip.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, but what is his job? Just to guard the stuff?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

To put soap on your hands.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it does. I feel like there's ones where they don't. They just stand there.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, they also give you the towel a lot of times.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Robbie Wood]

It's like Jersey, where they, like, make you. Or they pump your gas for you. It's like, I don't.

[Joe Gorman]

Like. I've been to nice restaurants and they don't have a bathroom attendant.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

I feel like I actually don't see that many bathroom attendants anymore.

[Joe Gorman]

I feel it's like, can you look.

[Zach Amico]

Up how much you're supposed to tip a bathroom attendant? And. And if you're supposed to tip, like, no matter what, or.

[Robbie Wood]

It can only come in handy if my breast smells bad and there's just like a mint there and I'll buy. It's like an easy way to buy.

[Joe Gorman]

Mint, but I just can't. It's like, I don't. Can't. It's like, come on, just either give me the. Also, it's like, I don't want a mint that's been in the bathroom that's over by the exit when you fucking are leaving.

[Robbie Wood]

They're wrapped in plastic, though.

[Joe Gorman]

Even so, it's like fucking shit particles.

[Zach Amico]

You're expected to tip a bathroom attendant 1 to $2 with larger tips, 2 to 3. For exceptional service, like having a hem mended.

[Robbie Wood]

What you can have.

[Zach Amico]

Or providing a towel when dispensers are empty. A tip is not required. If you do not receive assistance or if the service is poor, tip can be left in a tip dish or basket provided at the attendance station. Go, go to. When to tip you take items. If the attendant offers you, provides you with paper towels, breath mints, perfume or other items. Exceptional service, they really get. What is this? Mending a ham?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

What the hell is.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, it's like. That's like such a. Like. Oh, my. I. I got, like, a little rip on my. My sports coat. And, like, then they'll, like, have, like, a little stone.

[Zach Amico]

There's no.

[Robbie Wood]

I feel like if I asked them to do that, they'd be like, what the are you talking.

[Joe Gorman]

That's like a depression.

[Zach Amico]

You have your sewing kit.

[Shannon]

It.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, bring it back up real Quick. A residual is like the 19 exceptional service remembering. You can return to leave a tip if you initially forgot to do so. And then what else? When a tip is not expected, tenant is rude, slow, provides poor service. You're not obligated to tip if the tenant does not help you in any way.

[Robbie Wood]

$0.50 for a towel.

[Joe Gorman]

Paper towel.

[Zach Amico]

Get the standard one to $2 for mending. Stop with the mending. And for handing a paper towel. 50 cents is considered appropriate for this service. I gotta tell you, I think we gotta get rid of these guys.

[Joe Gorman]

They can be replaced by AI.

[Zach Amico]

I think the last bathroom attendant I saw was at the strip club. Yeah, the strip club at Skank Fest, right?

[Robbie Wood]

There was one at Skank.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, there was one at Skank Fest, which. Hey, buddy, you don't need to listen to what I'm doing in this stall.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Could you fucking take a hike, pal?

[Robbie Wood]

I think it's handy if you need something, but I would say overall there it's like. I don't know, it's like.

[Zach Amico]

I don't.

[Robbie Wood]

I don't usually tip them, but it is uncomfortable.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but why not put a machine? Yeah, they mean like a 50 cent gum machine.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, they have that like the same thing with like a vending machine where like condoms.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Maybe cologne if you want to like smell a little better or something. But I've never. I've never taken clone.

[Joe Gorman]

They could just have like a basket of things like if they wanted. It's an honor system because it's the same.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like people would just like some scumbag with empty it. But is it worth the price of hiring a man? Right. Yeah. An hourly fee to protect those items.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, I also think it's like dependent on like the location where they would typically have a bathroom attendant. It's not a place where necessarily like. Yeah, like the fucking.

[Zach Amico]

Not Skank Fest.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's not like we're like, I'm going to.

[Robbie Wood]

There's one at the Cutting room, I think. And I don't see them even at fancy restaurants. Really. I never see them.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, we learned a lot today about bathroom stuff and fighting. Thank you so much for tuning in. Please check out Joe Gorman and Robbie Goodwin. Support them on the road, support their podcast, buy our shirts and. Yeah, why not that. Yeah, make some. Make these guys some cache. And thank you so much for tuning in. We will see you this Friday for the exclusive episode. Actually, we didn't do plugs. Let's do plugs real quick, boys.

[Robbie Wood]

Robbie yeah, buy the shirts. BPN Mart.com Crowder Boys, every Wednesday at 5. And Robbie Wood is my personal stream channel. And I'm starting the Wolf of Ball Street NBA podcast. We are not experts, but we are. We do make jokes. Jokes.

[Zach Amico]

So fantastic, Joe.

[Joe Gorman]

And you can follow me online at Joe W. Gorman on all platforms, including Xbox and PlayStation. I have a podcast that I run with my buddy Alex Tomaselli called Super Celly Joes. Please subscribe to our YouTube channel. We're growing it slowly but surely. Also, I'm gonna start streaming on Twitch, so please DM me and let me know what games you want me to play because I'm gonna be doing that by the end of the year. That's my promise to everyone at Gas Digital and also myself.

[Zach Amico]

Go ahead, buddy.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh, you got it first.

[Shannon]

Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no. I was gonna add something to Joe.

[Robbie Wood]

Go ahead. I am doing a Show on the 11th in Staten island, but I forgot what it's called. Alchemist lounge on the 11th.

[Zach Amico]

Very cool. And hey, I will say this. If you sign up, enough of you sign up to Joe's Twitch. I will play video games with Joe one night.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Robbie Wood]

Oh fuck yeah.

[Zach Amico]

We will hang out maybe here, maybe wherever he wants to do it. But if you message him, tell him you followed him because of the Morning Zoo.

[Robbie Wood]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

We'll play N64. We'll play Conquers Band Friday. We'll play something that we both like a lot.

[Joe Gorman]

Sounds good, brother.

[Robbie Wood]

Can I come on and play Smash?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, fine with that. And hey, if you want to see me, go to my Instagram @zackisnotfunny, punch up that live Zach Miko. And most importantly, support the show Morning zoo. Go to gasdigital.com, use that promo code Z o O. You get your episodes early ad, free and uncensored. The live chat, the archives, thousand episodes of all your favorite guest digital shows. And then hey, why not a little bit of money off. And yeah, that exclusive Friday episode. That's right. If you want to see the Friday episode, you gotta subscribe. And just announced today, Real Ass Podcast, the reunion. Columbus, Ohio, New Year's Eve. Me, Luis J. Gomez. It's your boys doing a stand up show and a live podcast. So if you want to see the Real Ass podcast together for one night only, that's gonna be your New Year's Eve. And thank you so much for tuning in. Love you guys very much. And we'll see you on Friday if you're subscribed. If not, see you Monday. Bye bye.

[Shannon]

Bye.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

The fun's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time to him.

[Zach Amico]

Papa.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Mako. Chug it down. Just like your favorite obese clown. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's a Miko morning too. It's Akamiko morning too.