0051. Zahid Dewji and Josie Marcellino

Summary

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Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 51 with Zahid Dewji & Josie Marcellino

Date: October 10, 2025
Host: Zac Amico
Guests: Zahid Dewji, Josie Marcellino
Network: GaS Digital

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Episode Overview

This episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo is a wild, free-wheeling installment full of outlandish stories, irreverent comedy, and sharp banter. Comic guests Josie Marcellino and Zahid Dewji join Zac for a morning of chaos, covering everything from their embarrassing family stories and NYC/Brooklyn dive bars to the oppressive weirdness of online dating, viral news about pubic wigs, and dubious bar karaoke traditions. The tone is loose, raunchy, and fast-paced, with plenty of outrageous overshares and relentless riffing.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. Guest Intros & Skankfest Roast Origin Story (03:00–05:00)

• Josie recognizes Zahid from his writing on Shane Gillis’s Skankfest roast (notably the notorious Dan Soder’s sister joke).
• Zahid recounts how he got involved in that iconic roast, reflects on Houston’s Secret Group club, and tells inside stories about collaborating with Mark Normand and Gillis.
  • "Yeah, every six months I get like, are you that—I'm like, who else would?" — Zahid [04:46]
• Zac and Josie praise Zahid’s work: "The video, you know, did more for me than $100 would." — Zahid [04:41]

2. Gig Plugs & Upcoming Shows (05:05–06:00)

• Josie shouts out her New York Comic Con gig, supporting Big Jay Oakerson at DC Improv, and being on Skankfest.
  • "You can find everything at Josie Marcelino... at JosieMarcellino." — Josie [05:36]
• Zahid promotes his “Wildcard Comedy” show in Bushwick.
• Zac plugs his tour with Juggalo Championship Wrestling and his IG: "I'm back on the road with the clowns!"

3. White Trash Brooklyn Bar Escapades (06:54–13:13)

Zac narrates his Saturday night closing down a self-proclaimed ‘white trash’ bar in Brooklyn with friend Chris Faga—a dive that his wife refuses to set foot in.

• Meet “Desiree,” a hammered Fleetwood Mac-loving older woman who attempts to flirt with Zac (while her son looks on disapprovingly).
  • "Within three minutes, I had her singing me Fleetwood Mac songs." — Zac [08:20]
  • Hilarious twist: the “hulking presence” at the bar is Desiree’s son, not her boyfriend.
• Eventually, the night devolves into impromptu karaoke with no microphones.
• Josie and Zahid riff on dysfunctional mother-child codependence at drinking establishments.
• Story pivots to parental oversharing, setting the tone for what follows.

4. Oversharing Family Stories: Drunken Moms & Catastrophe (13:13–22:35)

Josie tells a jaw-dropping family story: during a Christmas gathering post-COVID, her petite, vodka-loving mom—with a penchant for no underwear and flowy pants—accidentally defecates on the living room floor mid-stride, as though nothing happened.

• "I see on the floor now… a full, intact human log of shit. Full, blown. This big." — Josie [17:10]
• The family’s attempt to attribute the “evidence” to their tiny dog is hilariously futile.
• Josie’s sister dubs the event her personal “9/11”: "My sister's freaking out, my mom’s like, 'no, that wasn't me.'...She just cleaned it up like it was absolutely nothing." — Josie [18:42]
• Further revelations: the family process and post-hoc deduction that mom’s, er, looseness was likely due to “an insane amount of anal.” The panel loses it.
  • "That means your mom is doing an insane amount of anal that it could just fall out with nothing.” — Josie’s friend, relayed by Josie [20:01]
  • "Now we understand why dad puts up with the drunk." — Zac [20:30]
• Nonstop, gleeful roasting of Josie’s parents, with Zac hypothesizing hiring a “midget to follow your mother around with a pail and broom.” [21:08]
• The entire segment is a clinic in oversharing and roast comedy.

5. Bizarre News Roundup: Russian Pubic Wigs (23:18–27:32)

• Shannon brings in headline: “Pubic hair wigs (merkins) are the newest craze among trendy Russian women.”
  • Up to $245 for a synthetic mini-wig for the pubic region.
  • Panel howls: “I thought a wig made of pubic hair…like five regular women or one Italian woman’s full…” — Zac [24:02]
  • Zahid: “Are they not able to grow them out, or what?”
• Discussion includes speculation that it’s for women who’ve had laser hair removal, or just want to avoid “the itchy phase.”
• Josie riffs: “You want to take this one, Roger?” [18:05]
• The original historical purpose is explained (Bubonic Plague era, pubes fell out, and merkins were worn as status).
• Zahid: “I’m still confused—‘I don’t want the itch, so I’ll glue one onto my pussy.’” [25:30]
• Raucous wordplay and callback jokes with “Winnie the Pooh” and their own earlier family stories.
  • "Isn't Winnie the Pooh what we call your mom?" — Zahid [27:12]
• Transition to Moscow clinics being asked for pubic hair transplants after permanent removal.

6. Viral News: The Billboard "Marry Me" Woman & Modern Dating (27:47–44:35)

A Bay Area woman, 42, takes out a dozen billboards in a last-ditch attempt to find a husband. Website and YouTube channel accompany the campaign.

• Zac and guests examine her video clips; all are deeply unsettled by her demeanor:
  • "She only has one face. That's supposed to be a smile? Look at that. That's lifeless. That's a shark." — Zac [29:00]
• They review her extensive “dealbreaker” partner requirements (no drugs, must want marriage within two years, must be liberal), mocking the inflexibility and Bay Area stereotypes.
• Josie, empathizing as a fellow non-tall-woman, notes, "I'm a lady with no height requirement." [43:18]
• Panel discusses the shame of meeting someone via billboard, comparing it unfavorably to apps or even bar encounters.
  • "Your mom advertised like a law firm." — Zahid [45:45]
• Harsh but funny dissection:
  • “This looks like if there was a Tina Fey Instagram filter...Old Liz Lemon.” — Zahid [33:37]
  • Extended banter about celebrity crushes, red flags, and the weirdness of “monogamy ultimatums in billboard form.”
• Zac and Josie roast the concept of eggs being “frozen in her own freezer,” and muse about the skewed gender balance in San Francisco.

7. Bar Karaoke & Song “Bans” (48:47–62:27)

The crew examines a Vice article about “5 songs you should never play on bar jukeboxes.”

• Panel tries to guess the songs—most guesses miss the mark.
  • Blue (Da Ba Dee), Hamilton musical numbers, B-52s “Rock Lobster,” Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock,” Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long.”
• Dismissive of the writer’s opinions; roast the choices:
  • “This dude stinks.” — Josie [61:18]
  • “Who gives a fuck about his opinion?” — Zac [62:21]
• Biting asides about annoying karaoke choices, and continuous tangents about offensive song histories.

8. Deep Dives: Racist Tunes, Blackface, and Clown Lore (49:02–54:49)

A tangent about the racist history of the “ice cream truck song,” and a crash course on the origins of cartoon character gloves (blackface legacy, vaudeville) and clown makeup conventions.

• Zac: "Bugs Bunny's 'What a maroon'...what color's maroon?" — [53:23]
• Josie offers tidbits about clown archetypes and John Wayne Gacy’s unsettling choice of face-paint.

9. True Crime Collectibles and Murderabilia (55:27–57:51)

Amico and guests compare their odd true crime souvenirs (Gacy’s business card, pieces from infamous crime scenes), blending macabre interest with comic incredulity.

10. Closing Banter: Kid Rock’s Roots & Panel Revelations (63:07–67:51)

• They riff on the evolution of Kid Rock from “desperate wiggerdom” to conservative icon, and his privileged upbringing.
  • “You gotta see how bad… Epitome of desperate wiggerdom.” — Zac [64:49]
• Josie shares her own eyebrow-raising story: losing her virginity to a pre-op trans person to “Bawitdaba.”
  • “I was the underage girl—the pit was an underage girl...it was a whole thing!” — Josie [66:20]

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• "I see on the floor now... a full, intact human log of shit. Full, blown." — Josie [17:10]
• "That means your mom is doing an insane amount of anal that it could just fall out with nothing." — Josie's friend, via Josie [20:01]
• “Isn't Winnie the Pooh what we call your mom?” — Zahid [27:12]
• "She only has one face. That's supposed to be a smile? ...That's a shark." — Zac [29:00]
• "This is the lady that comes up to you after a show to say that she's been doing comedy." — Zac [31:43]
• "Your mom advertised like a law firm." — Zahid [45:45]
• "I'm a lady with no height requirement." — Josie [43:18]
• "This looks like if there was a Tina Fey filter on Instagram...Old Liz Lemon." — Zahid [33:37]
• "Bugs Bunny's 'What a maroon'...what color's maroon?" — Zac [53:23]
• "You gotta see how bad... Epitome of desperate wiggerdom." — Zac [64:49]

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Noteworthy Structural Elements

• Hosts allow long, off-the-rails stories that become comedic centerpieces.
• Quotes from guests frequently spiral into running gags (e.g., Josie’s mother, Bay Area billboards, Kid Rock).
• Guest chemistry relies on a shared willingness to roast each other’s family dysfunction and taboos unflinchingly.
• Zac’s returns to “white trash” culture unify disparate segments of the episode.

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Episode Flow for New Listeners

Even if you missed the episode, you’ll feel immersed in a raucous, no-holds-barred comic hangout. The humor’s raunchy and self-aware, chaining together true-life cringe tales, pop culture takedowns, and relentless over-sharing. Guest stories and viral news provide recurring fodder for extended riffing. If you’re squeamish or prefer structured interviews, look elsewhere—but if you like unfiltered comedian chaos, this episode delivers.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[B]

Nice.

[A]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[D]

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[A]

So what are we having for lunch?

[B]

Dude, my work here is done.

[D]

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[A]

Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laugh is waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and.

[D]

Touch the sky Grab a coffee and.

[A]

Jo the crew It's a morning zoo Wake up, wake up, wake up. Well, hello and a happy Monday morning to all you Zoo files out there. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico. Welcome you to another edition of the Morning Zoo here on the Gas Digital Network. We are all very lucky, lucky sons of bitches because I have two very funny people across from me and it feels like they're trying to figure out their volume situation. What's going on?

[C]

I don't know what's happening. Hi.

[A]

What's going on, buddy?

[D]

What's up, man?

[A]

Is your cans working?

[C]

No.

[D]

I saw her touch and I was like, I think that's yours.

[C]

No, this one's me.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. See, you're over.

[D]

I'm just sitting here.

[A]

There you go. Yeah. All right, unplug it and plug it back in again.

[D]

What do I know?

[A]

Across the table from me, two wonderful people who I adore and are very funny. It's our good friend, Josie Marcelino. Hi. How you Doing, buddy?

[C]

I'm good. I promise to not talk for 45 minutes straight this time.

[A]

I don't give a shit. It makes my job a lot easier. Fucking go nuts. And next to her, my friend, one of my favorite people to write with. One of the funniest dudes I know.

[C]

What's up, man?

[A]

Zaya, dude, how you doing, brother?

[D]

I'm good, man. How are you guys?

[A]

I'm doing well, man.

[D]

Hell yeah, dude.

[C]

I'm excited to meet you. So this is. I checked your Instagram earlier because Shannon mentioned who the guest was. I was like, cool, I'll follow them. And then I saw. Literally since I saw Shane Gillis's roast at Skankfest, Skankfest south, every Zahid that I've met, which has been so many in New York, I've been like, I wonder if that's the guy that wrote the joke about Dan Soder's sister dying. And it was you. That's so fun. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great. That was a great joke.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's. It's great to have a comic you admire completely shit on the concept of what you worked really hard on.

[C]

Well, no, I get why.

[A]

Yeah, go.

[C]

It's your joke. You do the thing.

[D]

Well, I will give you, like, a little background on it, because we were. Skankfa south happened at Secret Group, which is a club that we started in 2016 in Houston, which is, like, where I started. And then I was doing a bunch of roasts back then. You know, we wrote roast together, whatever. And the Norman was there, and Shane had just come through, and he's like, get side. And I was like, what are you talking? Like, what are you guys talking about? And he's like, oh, you gotta do rose. He's a great rose. I got, you know, doing the whole Mark thing. And then I was like, yeah, I'll write some roasts or whatever. And then Shane's like, I'll give you 100 bucks. I was like, I'm fine. You're okay. And then Shane's like, all right, I'll shout you out then. And I was like, cool. Fist bump. So it was like pre planned, but he's doing, like a wrestling style.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And then Mark goes, why'd you turn that? 100 bucks. Could take 100. I was like, I don't need 100 that bad. Like, we're okay.

[A]

And Marco takes 100 now.

[D]

I know, but I. It was like, I was looking out, but I was like, yeah, it's fine. Like, I'm this is here. But any.

[C]

In.

[D]

In any case, the. The video, you know, did more for me than 100 would.

[A]

Yeah, I think you're correct on that one.

[C]

It made an impact on at least one person every six months looking for you.

[D]

Yeah, every six months, I get like, are you that. I'm like, who else would? But yeah, and Shane's great and Mark's.

[A]

Great, and yeah, all good people.

[D]

Both gay. And that's.

[A]

What a fun. What a fun way for you guys to meet. That's so sweet.

[D]

Yeah. Well, Andrew Youngblood opens up for Mark, so I didn't Mark. But Mark introduced and that's how.

[A]

All right, let's get plugs out of the way. Jorge, hit that beautiful plug music. Josie, what do you want people to check out, babe?

[C]

This Thursday, I am at New York Comic Con doing comedy. I have no nerd material written, so this will just be very fun. And then next weekend, October 16th through 18th, I am opening up for Big J OKERSON at the D.C. improv. That will be fun. I feel like I have stuff at the end of the month, and then next month, I'm on Skank fest. Yay. You can find everything at Josie Marcelino. J O S I E M A R C E L L I N O.

[A]

Fantastic. Mr. Diji.

[D]

Every Tuesday, Wildcard comedy and Bushwick at Alphaville with Napoleon Emile.

[A]

Very, very cool. Just watched Halloween 3 with him last week on Spookshow.

[D]

Oh, Toby, man. Yeah.

[A]

Hey, if you guys want to check me out, go to my Instagram at zackisnotfunny to see all my dates. Go to Punch up Live Zac Amico. And I'm gonna be on tour the whole end of the month with Juggalo Championship Wrestling, opening up for one Insane Clown Posse. I'm back on the road with the clowns. So if you want to come see me, I believe I'm gonna be with them through Halloween in Detroit. So come hang out. And if you love the show, well, go to gas digital.com use that promo code ZOO Z O O. You save a little bit of money off your subscription. Get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the live chat, you get the archives. Thousands of episodes of all your favorite cast shows. And most importantly, you get that Friday episode. That's right. We do three of these suckers a week, but the Friday one is for subscribers only. So if you want the full morning Zoo experience, subscribe with my promo code, zoo. And thank you so much for tuning in. Did something I haven't done in a while. Saturday, I closed out a white trash bar.

[C]

Oh, beautiful. Where?

[A]

Close to me in Brooklyn.

[C]

They have white trash out there.

[A]

Oh, boy. Faga had a show. Chris, friend of the show, friend of me. Chris Vega.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a shitty little bar in my neighborhood that my wife refuses to go in because she says every time she passes by, she's afraid she's gonna see people she went to high school with. Haha.

[D]

Where'd she go to high school?

[A]

In Brooklyn. In Brooklyn. And it is just people smoking and talking about immigrants. They. They ain't pro.

[C]

And I didn't even know they had that in Brooklyn.

[D]

And they're everywhere.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, this place is a dump. And I've been taking Faga there a while now because it's always empty when he did a show there, and it looked like a nightmare. So I showed up as the show was ending, and I had had a few by that point.

[D]

Yeah. It's been a while since I've seen you drink.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I had a. I had a little in me.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's a running thing where I'm the white trash whisperer, where just whoever's the trashiest person in the room.

[D]

You look like a tattoo.

[A]

Yes. Thank you.

[D]

You're dressed like your own tattoo.

[A]

Thank you. Very accurate. And we met a woman named Desiree.

[D]

Oh, that's a white woman with a.

[C]

With a.

[D]

With a name like.

[C]

That's a stripper name who's got a tit tattoo.

[A]

And sure. Within the three minutes, I had her singing me Fleetwood Back songs.

[C]

Which ones?

[A]

She. She just went over to the Fudgeing jukebox and started serenading me.

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

I then had a few more drinks, and we turned it into a karaoke night with no microphone.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Which means I just sang at a bar.

[C]

Those were what? Those videos were.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

You looked like you were having a level of whimsy I could only dream of achieving.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I need to go out with that.

[A]

That was lady was somewhere between her 50s and 90s, I don't know, and hammered, just going, name and band. I've seen them.

[D]

Amazing.

[A]

And. And. Which means she goes. She goes. She goes. So we're flirting, right? And I'm like, sure. And she's like, I have a boyfriend. But it was. Okay, we'll flirt because this is. That we're not gonna do it, but. And I'm like, I'm married, but we're just flirting. Right. And this lady is throwing it at me.

[D]

Geez.

[A]

So now from over my. Behind me at the bar, I Feel a giant man sit down next to me. A hulking presence to not me. Bigger than me.

[D]

I was looking in the mirror.

[A]

Bigger shoulders, strong and me, but with, like, worker hands. So she's a scaryman.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And I go, oh, that's definitely her guy. Her guy. And he's not happy with me. So I turn around and go, hey, man, how you doing, Zach? I go to shake his hand, and she goes, that's my son. He doesn't like when I get drunk here.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

He had to be slightly younger than me.

[D]

Dude. One of those, like, take your mom to a bar thing.

[A]

And he was so not happy.

[C]

It sounds like a pick your mom up from the bar kind of deal.

[A]

No, he left.

[D]

I think this was a. I think this was a go hang out with your mom. Go hang out at that bar, and your mom's already there.

[A]

Yeah. So exactly what happened? He definitely got off work super late.

[D]

Part of me wanted want him to be like, he looks at you and he's like, hey. So we're flirting, right? You're like, I don't know what the hell's going on here.

[A]

Multi generational. I got something about me.

[D]

You're like, I've seen this video.

[A]

Yeah. So I. He wound up being fur. He definitely got out of work super late, went to go get drunk at the bar.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And his mom is hammered.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Singing Fleetwood Mac at the top of her lugs at me and Chris. And there's no one. There's two people at the other end of the bar, and it's empty.

[D]

Oh, brother.

[C]

That. Shout out.

[A]

He bought us both a drink. And I went, can I buy you a drink? And he's like, don't worry about it. And he just got up and left. She goes, he got some bars because he thinks I'm a lot when I'm drunk.

[C]

God, that takes me back. Shout out, Colleen, my mother, I love you. This feels like a family reunion.

[A]

Have you gotten drunk with your mom?

[C]

I don't get drunk with my mom. My mom gets drunk with me in presents. I've smoked weed with her. We went to Jamaica this summer together. And she was like, I should. I would never smoke weed. And then by like, day three, she's like, why aren't you smoking weed, you pussy? Like, she bullied me into it.

[A]

So I've gotten the best kind of drunk with my mom. Hotel lobby bar.

[C]

That's intense.

[A]

Yeah. And it was a night of night. I did a show at some fucking awful, you know, Jersey gig, and my mommy, we Just sat at the bar and got shitty. And I took her phone and went through her plenty of fish and started messaging.

[C]

Dudes, your mom's on plenty of fish.

[A]

At the time, she was.

[C]

Holy shit.

[A]

At the time, she was. Yeah, no, my mom was on the apps.

[C]

Be a mom on there.

[A]

My mom was on the apps. She was going for it.

[C]

Plenty of fish is crazy.

[D]

What's plenty of fish?

[A]

Why is that crazy?

[C]

He doesn't know what plenty of fish is. And that should tell you something. Plenty of fish in OkCupid are like. It's. It's just sad. It's OkCupid. Never mind about that.

[A]

No, it's fine. It's hilarious.

[C]

Spirit Airlines of dating apps.

[D]

I thought I heard you say I met my mom on OkCupid.

[A]

No, no, I met my wife on OkCupid. OkCupid. There should be a comma in between. Okay, all right.

[C]

Cupid.

[A]

It's like, okay, Cupid. Whatever you got.

[D]

Amazing.

[A]

Yeah, I took my mom's phone and I started messaging guys. And then my mom was, like, trying to definitely, like, late night messaging, and dudes would be like, I'm an hour away. I don't know if I can get there.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I was in full support of it.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

God bless.

[A]

I have no issue with the idea of my mom getting laid. It does not bother me at all.

[D]

I mean, I don't give a fuck if your mom gets laid.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It just doesn't. It's not. I think it's. I grew up with my. Like, I. I explained recently on stage that if I had explained me and my dad, imagine Hank and Bobby Hill, but instead of, like, propane, football and steak, he loved pussy. Pussy and pussy.

[C]

Your dad was the Italian one.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And so my dad always, like, talked about women. And, like, when he was single, he was very open with me about shit.

[C]

So they're divorced?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, I don't think that stopped them.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[A]

For the years they were not divorced, so it's never bothered me. I think I've always looked at both my parents like, oh, yeah, I guess they're regular people.

[C]

I. I try to pretend that my parents don't ever have sex, but there has been some evidence to the contra. I shouldn't. Whatever. I'm sorry that I called it. I talked for 45 minutes last episode. Now I feel bad, but now I got a story.

[A]

I want to hear all of this. I so don't skimp on us.

[C]

I won't skimp on It. So my mom's going to kill me when she hears this short. She loves me. She might. So my mom is a. Is A. She's 107 pounds, she's like 5 foot 2, not an ounce of body fat on her. And she drinks straight vodka. Like she's a full blown alky, but in a fun way where it's like she's not. She doesn't like get the shakes and get sick, but she drinks like all the time. And she especially tunes up at family holidays and it's. It starts out fun and then it gets annoying and then it's like, all right, you need to chill. And it doesn't always go to that level, but this particular Christmas it did. It was like the Christmas after Covid. So the whole family was there and she had been drinking since like 4pm it's like 11 at night. I'm visiting at their house. So is my sister. My brother is a 27 year old DJ who lives with them and we're all in one room together. Me and my sister are like packing up our gifts so that we can go home. And my mom walks in and my mom wears those like flowy hippie pants that white ladies who do yoga wear.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And she walks in, didn't know it at the time.

[A]

Like a cross between sweatpants and bell bottoms almost sort of.

[C]

Yeah. And they've got like the harem print thing. So she's wearing those. I didn't know this at the time. It has later since been revealed to me that she doesn't wear underwear. Great thing for a 60 year old woman to be doing, but she just doesn't wear underwear. So she's hammered.

[A]

She's free lipping.

[C]

She's free lipping. Just out on Christmas. Happy birthday.

[A]

Jesus.

[D]

What? What sinks ships again?

[C]

Oh yeah, she sunk a ship this night. So me and my sister are very. We get annoyed with it.

[A]

P5.

[D]

You're like, Be sober.

[C]

Me and my brothers tune it out. Me and my sister get annoyed and she's trying to talk to us and we're just like, all right, let's pack our shit and get out of here. Because she's. She needs to go to bed. Yeah, she walks.

[D]

Once those things get a grip, they're not letting go.

[C]

Oh, wait for this though, because that does seem to be the opposite. So she walks just across the room.

[A]

Just your drunk mother in a Homer Simpson mouth coming out of fucking sweats, buddy.

[C]

You're getting close to something. She walks across the room, she walks back. And I just hear My sister suddenly yell. She goes, oh, my God, what is that? And I look in the direction and I see on the floor now an entire. I'm not kidding. Full, full, intact human log of shit. Full, full blown. This big.

[A]

Not going where I thought it was.

[C]

Not a break. I know, I know it was. I know. So we see that on the floor. As soon as you see it, I'm.

[A]

Like all fun and games. When we were talking about her mother's.

[C]

Pussy, and now it's her asshole, and it's a different story. Right.

[A]

So it Back me up. Yeah, well, we kind of got lost here.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Getting back.

[A]

I got lost. I got lost. That you guys were packing gifts.

[C]

Yeah, we were packing gifts. She just walked in the room because she wanted to talk to us. And then she went over to go pick something up. So she walks. This is the living room. She just walks, like here, Turns around, walks back. Log of shit right there.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

My sister calls it out. I look at it, I lock eyes with it. And then the smell hits. And I'm like, oh, my God. And she's like, what? And I was like, there's a whole shit on the floor. And she's like, it must have been one of the dogs. We have a seven pound cockapoo. Her shits are this big. This was a full on. And I'm like, that wasn't in the room.

[A]

Seven pound cockapoo.

[D]

You want to take this one, Roger?

[C]

So I'm. My sister's freaking out and I'm like, mom, did you just shit on the floor?

[A]

Like, hey, could you do that in the street like a regular person? Hey, take it outside, Peg. It's Christmas.

[D]

I love how in this we're still celebrating Christmas.

[C]

It's still Christmas.

[A]

All right, so what happened?

[C]

It's Christmas. And so my sister's freaking out. Like, my sister was born in 2001, so this is her 9 11. This is all she can remember. Sorry, no offense.

[D]

No, my 911 was 9 11.

[C]

Yeah, sorry about that. She. My sister's freaking out, and my mom's like, no, that wasn't me. And I'm like, girl, that would. There's a whole shit. And she was like, shut up. Like, she just cleaned it up like it was absolutely nothing. Dad comes in because he hears a scream and he's like, what's going on? Dad doesn't drink. Stone sober. His whole life has never drank. And he's married to that. And I'm like, I think, mom, the floor. Like, mom, the floor. It's Christmas. And There was all. He's like, no, what are you, like, crazy? Like, that's. There's no way. And mom was, like, insistent that she didn't. But every time she walked by now there's like a waft of. And she, like, suddenly then went up to go change and came back down, and everything was fine. But. So we're like, freaking out. We leave shortly after. I'm having a hard time processing it because she never. There wasn't a grunt. There wasn't a facial change. She didn't stop walking. She was in mid stride. Mid stride. Like a horse. My mother shit like a horse. She's again. And my mom like a horse.

[D]

Unbelievable.

[C]

I'm the fattest person in my family. My mother is a smoke show. My mom at 60 years old. My mom is like a stunner. She's five foot two. She's like, skinny as hell. You would never think that this just shitting it out. And so I.

[D]

Holding on to anything, I. I'm like.

[C]

You know, I move on. And I'm like, this is a very funny story. I tell people later. And, like, a whole year goes by of me telling this story, never realizing the implication. And then finally, on my birth. On my birthday, I told the story, and my friend looks at me and was like, honey, that means your mom is doing an insane amount of anal that it could just fall out with nothing. That means your mom is doing so much anal and it now.

[A]

And now we understand why dad puts up with the drunk.

[C]

Yes. Yeah. My mom is the hardest person to deal with. And it finally, like.

[A]

Because mom has a. Mom has a few cocktails and he gets to have a good rip at her. Literally.

[C]

Yo, after what? Ripped out of the. I don't know why you would want to.

[D]

I also changed this to the Afternoon Zoo after.

[C]

And after seeing that shit, now I have an unfortunate idea of at least what my dad is capable of.

[A]

You think it was a mold?

[C]

It came out no problem. It came out with no issue.

[A]

Now, have you considered hiring a midget to follow your mother around with a pail and a broom?

[C]

I mean, we're getting. If it happens again, we'll get to that point.

[A]

I think that would be a great job for, like, a small clown.

[C]

She still, to this day is like, I did not do that. That was not me.

[D]

And I don't know.

[C]

It couldn't have been anybody else.

[A]

It's the loose pants. See, you really buried the lead with this story about loose pants. Because in my head, we're going vagina on this.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But then the fact that she had the wide legged pants so that it would just.

[C]

Would fall out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, her pussy stayed in.

[A]

Well, God bless.

[C]

It is Christmas. She kept that tucked away.

[A]

I mean. I mean. Okay.

[C]

It's very nice to meet you. By the way.

[D]

Thanks for the iced coffee.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[D]

It.

[A]

In all fairness, it was Christmas. There is a chance that that was an immaculate defecation. That was the Christ child. That was the major. Oh, boy. That is more than I have. I've seen my mom fall up the stairs kind of. And giggle. The floor is a new one.

[C]

The floor is crazy.

[D]

The floor. To find out through your. That your mom's into anal is like.

[C]

A. I mean, she's Catholic, so I should have assumed.

[D]

It's a backflip of white culture. That I'm absolutely bananas.

[A]

There's a lot going on. But yeah, I didn't consider that. And yeah, she's gonna kill me. Whatever.

[C]

I don't care.

[A]

Your dad was great. When I met your dad's. I busted your balls the whole day.

[C]

Oh, dad's lovely. He's.

[A]

Yeah, of course he is. He's funny. He's got some nice empty balls and a stinky dick. He's got some mud on the helmet and fucking. Some. A Rocky Mountain mud cap and fucking stinky dick.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

Some drain testes. Of course he is.

[D]

And we actually have a picture of it.

[A]

You pull it up. You're lucky that turd wasn't frosted.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, boy. Happy. What? What a good morning. All right, let's.

[C]

Happy Monday.

[A]

Oh, boy. Let's. Let's do a story or two, huh? Wow. Oh, boy.

[C]

Yo, if you didn't like me before that story.

[A]

Oh, no. I'm a hunger.

[D]

I think everybody.

[A]

All right, let's. Let's take a look at this. Pubic hair wigs are the newest craze among trendy Russian women.

[D]

And you got it. I'm putting them on my head like Rick James.

[A]

Oh, yeah. All right, Shannon, tell us about it.

[E]

Okay, so it says that Russian women are reportedly paying up to $245 for tiny wigs that they glued to their pubic area.

[A]

Oh, merkins.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I was like, there's a name for this.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Bubonic plague.

[E]

I guess they're. They're making a comeback. And it said, I have some. Some images here for you.

[A]

Yeah, please. So when. Okay. When I heard pubic hair wigs, I have to be honest. You thought. I thought you thought a wig made of pubic hair. You Know, so like either like, you know, like five regular women or like one Italian woman's full.

[C]

Like an.

[D]

Like an early Allen Iverson.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Very chatted. Show us.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

All right.

[D]

I have the one on the right.

[E]

That's just these four.

[D]

How much of these going? This is real pubes.

[E]

It's a. It doesn't say what it's made from. I think that it's synthetic.

[D]

Why don't.

[C]

That looks possibly.

[D]

Are they. Are they not able to grow them out or what?

[C]

Yeah, that's my question.

[A]

Maybe it's for ladies who's gotten lasered.

[E]

It's saying that they're. That they're from women that. Women that don't really want to grow their own hair and that just want to, like the itchiness or whatever. And so they're just using it.

[A]

Yeah, they just want to. They. They want to. They want. They like when their pussy has a disguise.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like if their pussy robs a train.

[D]

It's like Pink Panther.

[C]

Really invest in pussy.

[A]

Glasses, funny nose.

[D]

There's a nose over the cliff and you're like, I could find it. It's.

[A]

I believe that. Well, I believe they've always done mer. Merkins for ladies going through chemotherapy too.

[C]

Yeah. Well, it started in the bubonic plague. That's why. Cuz your pubes fell out. And back then it was like, ew, you're publess.

[A]

Yuck.

[C]

Gross.

[A]

Imagine.

[D]

I'm still confused by their. Like, I don't. You know, they're itchy. I don't want to grow it out. So I will glue one on to my pussy.

[C]

Yeah. That can't be less. It's aesthetic too.

[A]

In my experience, the time I feel like chicks pussies are the itchiest is the growing it out phase.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the in between shaving and then having a bush. So maybe they're trying to avoid that, but it's.

[C]

Just give it a couple of weeks and you'll get there.

[A]

Like ladies have. They don't have that kind of time.

[D]

I'm also.

[C]

I know the Russians are living on the edge.

[A]

No, they're Russian.

[D]

Tremendous.

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

They're busy dressing. Don't laugh too hard. You on the floor. It's genetic.

[C]

I'm the opposite of my mother. Thank you.

[A]

Oh, you're door number one only.

[C]

God damn right.

[A]

Like, oh, Backdoor Marcelino.

[C]

That's Backdoor Karoo to you. That's her.

[D]

I don't know. It'd be worse if your mom was walking around all of her pews fell out and your dad's like, there she goes again.

[A]

The old fucking back door queen.

[C]

God bless her.

[E]

It also says that they have received reports that Moscow hair transplant clinics have received several requests to restore hair in the pubic areas after permanent hair removal procedures.

[A]

Oh, that would be so funny. Just on a FL full of women coming back from Turkey and they're all just itching with diapers on some downtown minions.

[C]

Everybody's just winning Winnie the Pooing it on the plane.

[A]

Yeah, everybody. Yeah, everybody's. Looks like Anthony Kumia isn't Winnie.

[D]

Isn't Winnie the Pooh what we call your mom?

[C]

No, she was wearing pants.

[A]

No, but her dad does have 100 acre wood and he loves the honey pot.

[D]

Pass out joking about your mom being an anal whore.

[A]

Sounds like a real piglet.

[C]

I love her so much. She's the sweetest woman alive. I would die for that broad.

[A]

I don't blame you.

[D]

I heard about a cougar, but a tigger.

[A]

Okay, all right. So he looked at some pubic hair wigs. Here we go. Fed up. 42 year old splashes cash for marry me billboards in last ditch effort to find a mate. Shannon.

[E]

So this is a Bay area woman. She spent her own cold hard cash to rent a dozen digital billboards.

[A]

She's a sad woman.

[D]

Who gave this woman money? What dumb man gave this woman? I don't believe that.

[A]

42?

[E]

Yeah, 42. She said she's putting herself out there. People would. Would be shocked if they knew how much this is costing me. But she doesn't reveal it. She said this is not a joke. It's not a gimmick. This is serious, a self funded endeavor. I just want to find a husband.

[A]

Do we have pictures of her or the billboard?

[E]

Well, I have the. I'll show you the billboard and then I'll show you the website. So this is their billboard.

[C]

Okay, she doesn't have to do that.

[D]

She just did. And her mom's gonna be embarrassed as hell.

[A]

Yep.

[E]

And then here's the website.

[A]

Okay. Mary Lee, look at this.

[C]

She's adorable.

[D]

Nuts.

[C]

I mean. Yeah.

[D]

You know.

[C]

Okay, in all fairness, didn't do this.

[A]

Shannon, scroll back up. It's just. She only has one face. That's supposed to be a smile. Look at that. Look at. She. She doesn't know. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

There's.

[A]

That's lifeless. That's a shark.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

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[E]

Video.

[A]

Of course. I bet she's insufferable.

[D]

I can't be suffered.

[B]

I definitely will kiss on a first date.

[C]

Oh, crazy.

[B]

I will do it again.

[D]

Oh, my God. Blink.

[B]

No problem with kissing on a first date if that's something where you feel like that's the natural progression of things. And if things are going well and you're interested in one another. I don't think that there's anything wrong with kissing on a first date. I tend to initiate quite a bit on the first date, but I think that.

[A]

No, in my old job I was a nurse, but 45 senior citizens died and they don't understand what happened.

[D]

She does look like a death nurse lady.

[A]

Yeah, she's the dragon lady. Dude, this. No, dude, look at that screenshot.

[D]

Wait, are you telling me that the lady that put up a billboard doesn't mind kissing on a first date?

[A]

12.

[D]

Is that what you're telling me?

[C]

I was hoping she would go, absolutely not.

[A]

I would never.

[D]

I draw the line at advertising.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What? I mean, how about instead of 12 billboards and say marry Lisa, how about one that says one bus ad that says fuck Lisa? Because this is a problem. This lady is bonkers. This is the lady that comes up to you after a show to say that she's been doing comedy.

[D]

This is a lady who.

[A]

But like she's just starting. Yeah, but she only has to do it all the time. But she's really good.

[D]

That's True.

[A]

This is the lady that comes up to really talk your ear off about. And it's just about comedy.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And if you give her 10 more years, she's gonna be flirting with Zach at a bar while our son picks her up.

[A]

I'm ready, baby.

[D]

You're flirting.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

That's her.

[A]

I mean, I wasn't much. I wasn't in much better shape. I was singing Lion King at the bar.

[D]

That's all right.

[C]

Those videos looked beautiful. Truly beautiful.

[D]

I mean, this is a Lion King. This is a lying lady.

[A]

Keep it moving.

[C]

I don't think I can get my eyes that wide.

[D]

They're also kind of looks like if somebody Photoshop.

[A]

Your eyes are as wide as your mother's ass.

[E]

Those are slightly different. Like, shapes.

[C]

Yeah, they are. Well, I can't knock her for that.

[D]

Yeah, I was gonna say me too. This. This looks like if there was like, a Tina Fey filter on Instagram.

[A]

Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. Old Liz Lemon.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, she is a lemon. I mean. Yeah.

[A]

Have you money back the. When she was like a. Not a maid of aunt, but like a bridesmaid. Old Tina Fey with the short hair.

[D]

When she was younger.

[A]

Have you ever seen older, young Tina Fey?

[D]

She was a. She was a smoke show, right?

[A]

Oh, boy.

[D]

What?

[A]

She really aged into her beauty.

[C]

Good for her.

[A]

She looks. You know, like, when they'll do a flashback to old hero or like, young her on the show and they make fun of her, saying, like, she was kind of gross.

[C]

That's real.

[A]

It is not. Doesn't even scratch.

[C]

All right, we gotta see it. I need to know what. Cause Tina Fey is beautiful.

[A]

Shannon, you know the photo I'm talking about?

[E]

Let me see. Maybe this one.

[C]

I hear that. Like, which. Oh, the one on the left. On the right.

[A]

No, the chink. Yeah, of course.

[D]

Come on, buddy. I. I think she looks.

[A]

Sorry, that just came out of me.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[D]

Yeah, you are. I think she looks all right, actually.

[C]

She looks like one of the Manson girls.

[E]

There's a younger picture. What?

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Well, that's when she got slashed. That look. That's when she got slashed.

[D]

Look, she looks like a Stranger Things kid here.

[A]

Yeah, look at her. Can you zoom in on that?

[D]

It goes right back to the look.

[A]

That's when she got cut.

[C]

I didn't know she got cut.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait.

[D]

I've seen this photo. This is the. The Mary Lisa lady.

[C]

See?

[D]

Look at the.

[A]

Look at her face. That.

[C]

I see it.

[A]

She got slashed by a guy. Like, she was playing in her yard, and a guy walked up to her with a razor and slashed her face and ran away.

[C]

Holy shit.

[A]

She still has a scar.

[C]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Tina Fey backstory.

[C]

Yeah, That's. Damn.

[A]

All right. I apologize for saying that word. It was just funny in my head.

[D]

It's all right.

[C]

Please bleep that.

[D]

I would bleep that.

[A]

I would bleep that.

[C]

Let's go around the table and say our favorite racial slurs.

[D]

We could do that. We could do that off the. You know, the televised show, which I.

[A]

Don'T mind, but oops, a doodle. Let's finish. Mary Lisa.

[B]

Good and effective way at figuring out if you have the right chemistry on that date.

[A]

Pause. Yeah.

[C]

I don't want to be.

[A]

This is a girl. This woman terrifies that sings Broadway songs in the car with her friends.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And they harmonize.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

They each pick apart.

[C]

Yes. I don't want to be misogynistic or mitzvah. Her cleavage is awful. Those are. Those are little tits that hang. Look at the space in her sternum. It's awful. I. I'm sorry. I know this is bad. I should.

[A]

I haven't worked my way down there yet. And that. That's not that bad.

[C]

That's her in a bra. It's supportive.

[D]

She's trying to get married.

[C]

That's her supportive. I'm still.

[D]

She's doing her best.

[C]

I get it. I did. Yeah.

[A]

But did we have more? Vinny, I want to see this. Why is it.

[D]

What I don't know is why is there smile? A frown?

[A]

Yes, that's a very good question.

[D]

Smiling and it's like, down. I'm like, come on, lady.

[A]

Oh, good. Hold on. Bad. Hold on. I think we just really think.

[D]

Oh, this is. Look, just because you had a lot of Tylenol.

[C]

Wait a minute. How many views are on these videos?

[E]

5,000, 3,000?

[A]

Here's the thing. Those are not billboards to marry this lady. Those are billboards to go on this lady's YouTube.

[E]

Oh, I thought it was the opposite. I thought maybe she put up the billboards and then she put this so that people can learn about her.

[C]

That's what I'm.

[A]

How. How old are you?

[E]

These are all. These are all one month ago. She dropped these all at the same time.

[A]

Okay, then. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

[D]

May she put these out after. After she put out the billboards.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

All right, let's watch another one of these. Best personality. Lisa talks about her family. That can't be good. Lisa wants the best physical.

[C]

If her mom. The floor too. I'm gonna lose my mind.

[E]

Lisa's best physical features. That seems.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

[C]

Oh, she's saying hair.

[B]

Best physical features.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Well, obviously the hair. The hair is definitely.

[A]

She got good hair.

[B]

And I just like.

[D]

It's all merkin.

[B]

Do its thing. This is all natural.

[C]

And.

[B]

Yeah, I'm pretty low maintenance on the hair, actually. I just stick some cream in it in the shower.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You put it in a towel and it just air and this is it. So I don't fight with it at all. I just let it do its thing. I call it free range and this is what I end up with. Occasionally I'll straighten it, but for the most part, I just wear it natural and I'm really happy with it. Besides my hair, I think physically the most important part of my body would probably have to be my legs. I have really great legs. I've always had really great legs. And so, yeah, definitely my leg. Overall, I'm really.

[A]

By the way, do you know how horrified this video is without the edits?

[D]

Dude, this might, this literally.

[A]

There's just eight seconds of silence. Yeah. So by the way. Yeah. This is the greatest hits.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Of what spilled out of her mouth.

[D]

I've seen a lot of on this show. This is easily, like, hurting to watch.

[A]

Yeah. Look at it.

[C]

I've seen an execution on this show. This is, this is what I hope.

[A]

We, I hope we see another one. Dude. Brutal. Her giant eyes. And then. Because, you know, she was saying these things and then just ran out of steam.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then just. And then started again. And that's what those cuts are.

[C]

Yeah. The date wouldn't be this fast paced.

[A]

No, the date. The date. You're dealing with awkward silences.

[E]

Do you think she's being directed? Sorry.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I do.

[D]

Yeah, I do too.

[C]

Yeah. I think she hired somebody to, like, ask questions.

[D]

Yeah. Also, it's like, you're 42, man. Like, you got, you got time.

[C]

42 is not that bad.

[D]

You're not like, at the end of.

[C]

The run, she's not ugly.

[A]

No. She's not terrifying.

[D]

Which means that there's, there's problems under the hood.

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

She doesn't likes to talk about horses.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

She's a horse girl.

[A]

I see, I see some horses going on here.

[D]

Tom Petty girl.

[A]

Shannon, let's do another one. I want to see more of this crazy.

[D]

This is like killing me.

[A]

This is. I, I, I find this. Oh, celebrity crush.

[D]

Mr. Ed.

[B]

My celebrity crush would be David Duchovny as Fox Mulder in the X Files. The X Files is still one of my favorite shows. And yeah, I've just always had a crush on Fox Mulder. So that's definitely my celebrity crush right there. I actually got to meet David Duchovny about seven or eight years ago now.

[C]

He's got a restraining.

[B]

He was on his book tour. And that was just a really great moment for me. And I also got to see him performing with his band up in San Francisco a number of years ago. And another great moment. The FBI agent. I mean like that really, that does it for me.

[C]

Pause.

[A]

She's got a crush on a fictional character. Yes, that's the real. Yes, that's the real underlying thing in this one is that she keeps saying Fox Balder. Yeah. By the way, Fox Mulder. Autistic as the day is long. A. A no personality.

[C]

That would do great with her.

[A]

Just nothing. Just a fucking nothing. No conversation having motherfucker.

[C]

Yeah, that's what this lady needs. She just needs like a non verbal guy.

[A]

Every screenshot of this woman screams crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And we're doing one more. Shannon.

[D]

All right, all right, all right, all right.

[A]

It.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

I'm hooked on this crazy.

[C]

I love a crazy like I love it crazy.

[E]

Sex and intimacy maybe.

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Who she pay on a first date?

[D]

Do we know if she's okay with kissing on her first date?

[C]

Yes, she is.

[A]

Let's do sex and intimacy within a relationship.

[C]

Boom.

[D]

How would you know, you idiot?

[B]

I do think that sex and intimacy within a committed relationship is super important. Ideally in a relationship I would want to have some form of intimacy every day. And that's not to say necessarily sex every day. But that would be important on a frequent basis as well for me. But I do think that it's a really important component of a relationship and it's something that I want in a relationship. You know, there's other forms of intimacy besides just sex and I think that, that all of it is important.

[A]

Wow. This website.

[C]

The website at the end is just sad.

[D]

This lady stinks.

[C]

She does.

[A]

Go back to the website. I want to see, by the way, if they are not fans of the show. Proposing to this bitch right now via email.

[C]

Yeah, some of you are quadriplegic. Hit her up, guys. Some of you do that.

[A]

Listen, if I was single.

[C]

Type an email with your eyeballs and marry this lady.

[D]

This lady stinks.

[A]

Who Lisa? I want to see who Lisa is looking for.

[D]

Oh God, she's looking for can you ask someone to mold her?

[A]

Non negotiables must be on board with a monogamous relationship and dating with the intent for marriage. Must be all right with a time frame of marriage starting with the family within next two, three years.

[D]

I like an ultimatum when I meet a woman.

[A]

Yep. College educated bachelor's at a minimum.

[D]

At a minimum.

[A]

Healthy lifestyle is a must. No marijuana, tobacco, psychedelics or recreational drug use.

[C]

Yeah, there goes your fans.

[A]

Good hygiene. Yeah, I'm saying I'm out.

[D]

Yeah, good hygiene, good hygiene.

[A]

How's that healthy? Must be democratic or liberal or left leaning politically. Saw that one coming.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Looking for someone who is not religious. Okay. With spiritual or non religious. No criminal record, nonviolent personality preferences, but some flexibility. Age 35 to 45. Preference. Never married, no kids. Within San Bay Area.

[D]

This sounds like such a Bay Area fucking idiot.

[A]

General clean cut looking slim to medium build. No or minimal tattoos. Has no height requirement. Liar.

[D]

Hey, your. Your fans are back at.

[C]

No, I agree with that. I'm a lady with no height requirement.

[D]

Wait, really?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

How tall are you?

[C]

Five foot four. Okay, yeah, I'd prefer them to be taller than me, but it's still not even a deal breaker.

[D]

All right, anal.

[C]

You gotta hit up my mom for that.

[A]

Oh, God, I'm becoming my mother.

[D]

The doesn't fall far from the tree.

[A]

Doesn't fall far from the gaping.

[D]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Your mom.

[C]

Don't be sorry. Colleen's fine. She did tell me I should talk about her more on stage because I make a ton of jokes about my dad. So this is for you, girl.

[A]

There you go, Lady 41, 555-130-36C.

[D]

Wait, did she put five foot five and a half inches tall? I don't like that. What are you, seven years old?

[C]

That's. I mean, look at her. That's the type of person that puts their height in half inches.

[A]

Convertible owner, loves cats. Who'da thunk it?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

36C. More like 42. Single, you fucking idiot.

[A]

No cosmetic, high energy, healthy active lifestyle. Never married. Once married to kids within the next two to three years. Child will be silly at best. Child. Child will have issues at best.

[C]

Yeah, no, here's the thing. Well, one, this bitch may have frozen her eggs. I can see her doing that there.

[D]

Yeah, in her own freezer.

[C]

But she also. The biggest red flag here is that she's in the Bay Area and she's single. The male to female ratio in the Bay Area is like five to one. It's something nuts.

[D]

Oh yeah, Jim Morrison Wrote a song about that.

[C]

It's. It's really. It's really bad.

[D]

That's probably the worst joke I've ever said on here.

[A]

Not even close.

[D]

A lot of people don't know that Jim Morrison was a huge fan of San Francisco data.

[A]

That's right. I yelled the racial slur. We're both one for one on this one. Yeah. This lady is a kook. Yeah, I didn't say another one. I said kook. Calm down.

[D]

I was gonna say she. I don't like the idea. I mean, have you guys. You guys have all met people on apps?

[A]

Yeah, I met my wife on okc, but.

[D]

Yeah. And you're fine with telling that story, right? Yeah, see?

[C]

Yeah, I met my ex on a. On an app. Yeah.

[D]

I just couldn't be like, how'd you meet? You're like, your mom put up a billboard across the entire city. I couldn't. I just.

[A]

Your mom advertised.

[D]

Your mom advertised like a law firm.

[C]

It'd be better to be like. Well, you know, she came up to me, her son was in the bar.

[D]

And she was like, I'll take any of that.

[A]

Any of it's better.

[D]

Billboard is brutal.

[A]

The billboard is. I. I would say bus ed, but maybe she's. You know what? She's looking.

[C]

She.

[A]

I would want to see if she planned where the billboards are based on income.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, it's San Francisco, so it's.

[A]

All, you know, But I wonder if she specifically went, like, for, like, around white collar businesses.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, she had to have. And that's probably why they were as expensive as they were.

[A]

I'm just saying that none of them are in. Are in Oakland.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

When I first moved to New York, I had my. I had a big mohawk, and I was wearing a skirt, and an SUV pulled up to me, and a guy just stuck his head out the window, went, yo, stay the fuck out of Oakland. And then I went to. Then I went to do a show in Oakland with my band, and all I thought was this guy was gonna pull up and be like, what I fucking said.

[D]

I just following you around.

[A]

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[D]

When was this though? Because it's gotten better. Well, it's gotten worse and it's gotten better.

[A]

2008.

[D]

Yeah. Have you been back like the next last five years?

[A]

No, I haven't.

[D]

I mean, there's gentrifications. Hit it. But that's also killing it. So it's the.

[A]

Yeah, Oakland was. Oakland was. Oakland was like when I went was like Camden level scary.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's the easiest way to put it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, we got to find. Here's. I did not read this article so that I could play along with you guys. And I thought it went with what my weekend was like, which was White Trash karaoke. Five songs you should never play on the bar.

[D]

Touch Tunes, Closing Time, Semisonic.

[A]

Well, I think that's. They. They play that at the end. Yeah.

[C]

You're saying it should just never happen.

[A]

So it's a list of five songs.

[D]

That you should never stop believing. Journey.

[C]

I was gonna say the ice cream truck song, which is N Word, Love a Watermelon.

[A]

Hahahaha. Wait, what? That's the real lyrics to the ice cream.

[C]

They have lyrics to it. Oh, well, they took them out.

[A]

Shannon, bring it up. Oh, my God.

[C]

And it's. They say it. They say it.

[A]

Yeah, they certainly do.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I did not know there was.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, bring it up, bring it up, bring it up. That's. That's. That's a fun. That's a fun fact that most people don't know.

[E]

Do you want me to bring up the. To show you the lyrics or do you want me to find the song?

[A]

Just show us the lyrics. We know how the tune goes.

[D]

Wait, how's the tune go again?

[C]

I actually forgot. It's also. It's the same tune as your ears hang low, which I don't know what that means. That could also be racial. Yeah.

[D]

Feels racist.

[C]

Who's got low ears? Look that up, Shannon.

[D]

White white punks and dirty immigrants.

[E]

I'm finding pieces of it.

[A]

Hold on.

[C]

There's a. I think it was Sway in the Morning. Somebody did a. Somebody like, brought it on air, and they.

[E]

That should be easy to find.

[D]

That's what your mom does above a toilet.

[C]

My mom is a radio dj.

[A]

She is?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Really? A radio real.

[C]

Yeah. I shouldn't have said that because she does work in entertainment. Yeah, My mom's a radio dj.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

That's how.

[C]

That's how her and my dad met. My dad called in and won tickets, and she was. She was giving away tickets on air. Yeah.

[A]

Well, look at that.

[C]

And now they have a very happy life.

[D]

Your mom, your dad won tickets.

[A]

Okay, here we go.

[D]

She's like, yeah, I'll get you the venue we can go to. Meet me at the back door.

[A]

Yeah, keep it. Keep moving down to the chorus. That a blank level? Jesus. Blank. Love a watermelon. Hahaha. For here, they're made with half a pound of. There's nothing like a watermelon for a hungry.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yep, that'll. Yep, that'll.

[D]

They're still playing that at Ice Cream Shorts.

[C]

I think it was just the tune. Yeah, but yeah, they. They took out the vocals.

[A]

And I mean, I think it was also maybe just like a tune at the time that you sang songs to.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[A]

And that. That guy just had a racist version of it.

[D]

You think some guy's like, you gotta hear these lyrics. Really got something.

[C]

Or maybe. Maybe it started out with that, and then during, like, the whole civil rights thing, they were like, all right, we should get rid of that.

[A]

But it's a great tune.

[C]

The tune is fire too.

[D]

So I do love that you called it the whole civil rights thing.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, and we had to acknowledge that they're people.

[C]

That time.

[D]

That deal, you know, that whole fucking thing they did in the 60s.

[A]

I actually went on a weird Instagram deep dive with people talking about why cartoon characters all wear white gloves. Because blackface.

[C]

Did they wear white gloves in blackface? I don't know.

[A]

Black, because they had the black face and then usually like a tuxedo. They would wear white gloves because they did a lot of emoting with their hands and they wanted to make sure their hands popped out. So the same with Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny, shit like that. They have the white gloves on so that it pops from the background. But it's also because back in the day, the original cartoons, they would play at, like, Vodville or like.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There would be. Somebody would bring a screen down in between performers and they would show cartoons. And usually the most popular acts were the blackface acts. So they started making cartoons where the characters would emulate the stuff the blackface performers would do. That's why Bugs Bunny's like a Rascal Gotcha, which is very. The mischievous thing. That's a very blackface character.

[D]

Yes. Yeah. To like.

[C]

Yeah, I feel you explain some of the, like, Disney's like, the early.

[D]

Well, the early stuff, like the most racist.

[A]

Yeah, well, well, I mean, what a maroon literally means. What a. Wow. What color is maroon?

[C]

Brown. I don't know. What. What do you mean, what a maroon?

[A]

That's what Bugs Bunny you say. Yeah. What a maroon.

[C]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

He also said nimrod and nimrod, because Bugs Bunny called Elmer Fudd nimrod. People have taken that to mean stupid. That's not the definition. Nimrod was the angelic hunter in the Bible.

[A]

I didn't know that.

[C]

Yeah. So because he was a hunter, he called him Nimrod. And people were like, ah. Because he's a dumbass. No, that's not what that meant.

[A]

I didn't know that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So look, we're learning.

[C]

I also learned. I learned today. I learned two things.

[A]

I learned a lot today.

[C]

You're having a very educational day. I learned two things this morning about clowns. Clowns originally, look the way that they did, like, Ronald McDonald style, because it was. They just. They just took. When blackface, they were like, you can't do that anymore. They were like, what if we just mixed up the colors? And so that's why they still have, like, big painted on lips and they have afros. Why do clowns have afros? There's no there's no not racist reason.

[D]

That felt like a premise of a joke.

[A]

Yeah, that's pretty good, but that's what that is.

[C]

And then I learned that John Wayne Gacy, specifically, people look at him and they're like, oh, he's really unsettling.

[A]

It's because of the edges. The points.

[C]

Well, it's because of the points, but also, like, I guess you're supposed to, like, not force an expression when you're a clown. And his clown was always smiling, like he forced an expression. It's just supposed to, like, accentuate your features.

[A]

You're not supposed to draw a smile on. You're supposed to have the big lips and then smile. Yeah, but the other thing with him. So clowns aren't supposed to have jagged, like, points or jagged edges. That's why everything's very round.

[D]

And he was diamonds, right?

[A]

Yeah, he was triangles and shit.

[C]

That's why you're clowns. On your shirt it's Sweeney.

[A]

And that's. That's why specifically those kind of clowns scare kids. Yeah, they always say do very soft, rounded out features, so that doesn't frighten children. And he very intentionally went out of his way, right? Yeah. I mean, that's fucking even the smile. It's point. You're not supposed to have points like that.

[D]

It really looks like, like Joker shit.

[A]

Yeah, you're not supposed to. You're not supposed to have triangles like that.

[C]

The smile literally looks kind of like the Batman symbol.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

It's kind of nuts, dude.

[A]

And just. Just a guy who ran a goddamn kfc. He ran a KFC and met the president's wife.

[D]

Wait, was Gacy the one that, like, was remodeling his house while, like, to bury people in, like, every time he killed.

[A]

So he had a construction company.

[D]

Same guy, though, right?

[A]

Yeah. And every time. So he had a crawl space.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And he would cover it with lies to, like, try and cover up the smell.

[D]

I remember being like, when they found 18, but, like, how did 18, 18 bodies fit in that crawl space? I was like, well, he's a clown.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that'll help. Oh, dude. He would, like, because they were watching him for, like, months, and he would straight up go out to the police car and tell him where he was going. He's like, hey, in case you lose me.

[D]

He liked it.

[A]

They, like, loved it.

[D]

So did Son of Sam. What's his name? Yeah, whatever. But he would, like, yeah, he'd like, tell them they like the attention, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he would, like, tell him where he's going. And. And.

[D]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

And he. He claimed he was innocent to the. He. He admitted it, then he retracted it and he said that he was a part of like a political assassination. Like a political thing for being part of the Democratic Party.

[C]

Jesus Christ.

[D]

Jeez.

[A]

There's so much Gacy I have. Me and Rainey both have. Because he had a. Like a contractor business. Me and Rainey both have the business card.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah, I ordered two.

[C]

That's by them.

[A]

Yeah, I found it. I. I found a murder billiard collector that had a.

[D]

Wait, we gotta. We gotta guess. How much you think they're worth?

[A]

Oh, no, they're not worth shit.

[D]

How much did you buy them for?

[A]

20. For two.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah, they had like a box of them in his house.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And. Yeah, me and Rainey each have them because Rainey brought me a piece of the bridge from the Delco murders.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He went on and did like a walking. Like he did the whole route.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And the bridge the girls were on. He snapped a piece off and put it in a bag for me.

[C]

God bless Rainey.

[A]

Then my gift back was John Wayne Gacy's business card.

[C]

That's a beautiful relationship.

[A]

I also have Casey's piece of Gacy's shirt from death row.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I really want a painting.

[D]

I took a. I took a shit from Son of Sam.

[A]

That's very cool. Call back to nothing.

[D]

I had a friend that wrote letters to Charles Manson for a while.

[A]

I believe that. Yeah, he answered a lot. They were rambling.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, so let's figure out that we. We haven't even touched these songs. Five songs. I forgot the songs you should never play on a bar. Touch tunes. I'm going to guess they're going length.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm thinking maybe Bohemian Rhapsody.

[C]

No, because people get excited about that one.

[A]

Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Inegada DeVita.

[C]

Inegada DeVita is a good one to say.

[D]

Why?

[A]

Because Inegota de Vita is like 18 minutes long.

[C]

Yeah. Same with a lot of tool songs that are like. It's a whole album. Anything.

[A]

Shannon, can you bring it up? Give us one?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay. Well, none of those so far.

[A]

Great.

[E]

Here's one. Blue that Dabadee.

[A]

Really?

[C]

I love that song. All right.

[A]

It's a great song.

[C]

I also like Nickelback. I have bad taste. Nickelback rules.

[E]

Do. I'm just to tell you the rest of them.

[A]

Can you give us. Give us a hint.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It doesn't say why that's a song.

[D]

You should give us an era.

[E]

It says, look, I get it. The nostalgia around Blue is strong. And it could be fun to hear at sports events or something like that, but when you're sitting in a bar nursing a beer and this comes on right after free fall and it just kills the mood, don't do it.

[C]

This was just written by, like, a disgruntled barfly.

[E]

This is a Vice article.

[D]

I was like, we're out of stuff. It's got to be a Vice article because they don't have anything.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so give us a hint for the next one.

[E]

From a musical.

[C]

Is it Mamma Mia.

[E]

No.

[A]

Hamilton.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Rent.

[A]

It's the. The song from Hamilton.

[E]

Yeah. My shot. Or literally anything from Hamilton.

[D]

Who's playing Hamilton at the bar?

[C]

I have. I will say I have been to a bar where, like, there were some theater girls, and all they did was put in touch tunes for Hamilton and wicked songs. And they sang them. Yeah, they were singing them. Geez, that was a rough time. That. That can reset the mood. Okay. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, that one. And by the way, only great song from Hamilton is the King George song. But keep going. I don't give another hint.

[E]

I'll. I'll tell you who does the song.

[A]

Sure.

[E]

The next one. The B52s.

[C]

Love Shack.

[E]

No.

[A]

Rock Lobster.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah, it's got to be Rock Lobster.

[A]

That's just kind of annoying, though.

[D]

Like, it's fun. I would be a little bit annoyed at a bar.

[A]

I think.

[D]

At a bar. I'd be like, all right. Just.

[A]

If it was like.

[C]

But it's also not super long.

[A]

Yeah, if it was.

[D]

It's not the worst. It should. I don't think if it was a.

[A]

Punk bar or a tiki bar or anything. Kind of like, makes sense. Retro.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, Maybe.

[C]

Fun song.

[A]

What was.

[D]

What was their answer for why?

[E]

It says. What are we doing? Rock Lobster.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay. So it said. Oh, it's a whole story. So over the weekend, my wife and I. Oh, that.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

This guy sucks.

[A]

This guy sucks. All right, give him.

[C]

Yeah. Mary Lisa.

[E]

Elton John. What?

[A]

Can you feel the love tonight?

[E]

No.

[D]

Candle in the Wind.

[E]

No.

[D]

Your song. Oh, Yellow Brick Road.

[C]

No. Back.

[E]

No.

[A]

Crocodile Rock.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Oh, that's crazy.

[A]

This is another great song.

[C]

This dude stinks. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

This guy.

[D]

That's crazy.

[C]

Who gives a about his opinion?

[A]

Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great friends at Eucratum, home of the 60 kilo. That's right. If you do Kratom. If you don't do Kratom. Don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for one of its many benefits, you got to go to yocratum.com today for a $60 kilo. Stop going to bodega smoke shops and gas stations. You barely know what's in there. They'll charge you out the wazoo. Yocratum.com has the best strains, the best customer service, and the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at the network. Thank you so much, Yocratum. We love you. There's no promo code needed. It's already the best deal in the world to kratom. 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your door. That's yocratum.com home of the 60 kilo. Let's get back into the program. What's wrong with Crocodile Rock? Is it another story?

[D]

I remember when rock was young.

[E]

It says, Elton John and Bernie Taupin were probably the greatest songwriting team of all time. Together, they crafted numerous number one singles. Blah, blah, blah. That said, there are way better Elton John songs to play in a bar than Crocodile Rock.

[D]

Shut up.

[A]

Yuck.

[D]

Bernie Toppett. I thought he was a bottom.

[C]

I was expecting to hear that. Slow burned me. That was good.

[A]

Him too. Imagine their floor. Christmas night. I almost made Z spit out his coffee.

[C]

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. No, I was expecting, like, disturbed. Down with the sickness.

[A]

But specifically, when your mom shit on the floor, did she just scratch at the wall for a minute after just kicked at the carpet?

[C]

God. Last one.

[E]

Last one. There's probably a political agenda of why they are saying this.

[A]

Oh, Kid Rock.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Bar. With the bar.

[E]

No.

[D]

What?

[A]

The people.

[E]

No.

[C]

So hot.

[E]

No.

[C]

Cowboy.

[D]

Cheryl Crow.

[A]

Collab.

[E]

No. Picture.

[D]

Picture's so good.

[E]

It's not that good. Named all the Kid Rock songs all summer long.

[A]

Okay, what's that fun song? The Later Kid? The. The.

[D]

I don't know that one. What's the political?

[C]

It's the Sweet Home Alabama werewolves in one in London. Kind of like he took the same thing. Sweet Home Alabama all summer long.

[D]

But what's the political?

[C]

I don't think there is.

[A]

I think it's just because people associate him with. In all fairness, he's kind of a douche.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He even put out today that, like, I won't be watching the super bowl type thing. I could be wrong. I read a thing. If it was a fake article, I.

[D]

Apologize into adult contemporary rock.

[A]

And he's like, I don't want to see a guy in a Dress at the super bowl or whatever. About Bad Bunny. If it was real, if it was a fake article, I apologize.

[D]

No, he said that and then Bad Bunny responded back. He's like, just. Just culture move past you, you old fucking fuck.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, there is nothing more.

[C]

Wears a full length fur coat, Kid.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

He's got long hair.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

First of all, he's a gay guy.

[C]

Yeah, he is a gay guy.

[A]

Have you ever seen Kid Rock when he came out like, he. When he debuted.

[C]

I saw him ball with the ball is my knowledge of Kid Rock.

[A]

Look up Kid Rock. Grits for breakfast.

[D]

Oh, shit.

[A]

He has a straight up kid in play. Flat top.

[D]

No way.

[A]

Like Scotty Too Hottie from wwf. Really? Dude, it is such.

[D]

Remember Scotty Too Hottie?

[A]

It is the epitome of desperate wiggerdom.

[D]

It is.

[A]

You gotta see how bad.

[D]

That was actually the name of Eminem's first album.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

But kid. Yeah. Oh, no, there's another. He's got the straight, like, flat top.

[E]

It's like they're showing all cartoons when I look it up.

[A]

Okay, well, can you just write Kid Rock flat top?

[D]

Does he have gloves on in those cartoons? I feel like that's what always happens is like, you see these, like, white.

[A]

There it is. What? Yeah.

[D]

And then like, you look at him.

[A]

Yeah, there he is.

[D]

And now he's like this like hardcore conservative idiot. It's like, do you not even. What happened to you, dude?

[C]

Literally any lyric in Ball with the bar is like, what he's protesting against now.

[D]

That could you all change if you get old enough.

[A]

Then you hit Rock Dad's house. You know? You know that hood ass Kid Rock came up from nothing.

[C]

That's not his house.

[A]

Like, now that is his childhood home.

[C]

Shut the.

[A]

Whenever he lived with dad, if you want to zoom in on the tennis court or where was the trailer park? Ah, it seems someone's someone.

[C]

All the crackheads, the critics, the cynics and all my heroes at the methadone clinic. Yeah. Come on. I lost my virginity to BA with the ba. You could tell that from everything about me. To a trans person. I lost my virginity to a trans person. To BA with the ba. I just put that together.

[D]

Well, they got in the pit and they tried to love someone.

[C]

Yeah, damn. The pit was an underage girl. It was a whole thing. Anyway.

[A]

Wait, hold on.

[D]

You were also underage.

[C]

No, I was an underage girl. I was the underage. I didn't fuck an underage girl.

[D]

Okay. I was like. We should Clarify.

[C]

He was 27.

[D]

Otherwise I have to remove myself and.

[A]

Wait, when you say trans.

[C]

Okay, Pre op trans.

[A]

So they became a woman after this.

[C]

And now a woman was saying stuff during the sex that led to me knowing, damn. I think that's probably where that's gonna go one day.

[D]

Let's go, girls.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And also would steal my dresses that were too big for her. Okay, well, she's very ugly now. Oh my God, she's ass ugly now. Terrible person.

[A]

Also, I need to acknowledge your absolute I don't want to garbage accent voice when you said, yeah, that guy. I think this one might be a lady or something. Ain't dude lady like in my age. Dad. That's where that's gonna leave one day. Huh?

[C]

That's a really good impression of me.

[A]

I think there's something wrong with this guy. Might want to cut his dick off one day.

[C]

I don't know if you're a grown.

[A]

Well, he's sticking it in my 16 year old pussy. Ah, Mom's shit on the floor again. Might want to clean that up, Ma.

[C]

Man, I didn't make any friends this episode.

[A]

You made me so happy.

[D]

Iced coffee.

[A]

You made me so thrilled.

[C]

That makes me happy.

[A]

I can tell you how happy I am.

[C]

Good.

[A]

With every single part of that.

[C]

Good.

[D]

That was great.

[A]

And now I'm trying to figure out what song I want to close on. I either want to do. You've heard the newer Kid Rock, right? Where it's just straight up like Fox News. Like.

[C]

No. All I've heard is all summer long that's the latest Kid Rock.

[A]

I heard it's we the people and nobody gonna tell me how to live. And they're so hilariously bit like him having nobody's. He's rapping about like Fauci.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Has.

[D]

Has he ever addressed his dad being like a.

[A]

No, he did not. Patton, I think, called him out on it. Which Patton Pat Oswald.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yes. Very good. You got me. It's very good. I feel silly.

[C]

I thought Sean Patton was deadass. Who I imagine. But I don't know the difference between the two of them. By the way. I never know who's being referred to when they say one or the other.

[A]

Okay, well, Patton Oswald tweeted that. What he was saying something about growing up poor. He's like, isn't this your fucking house?

[C]

That's wild.

[A]

However, instead of one of those two. Shannon, can we end on. Can you YouTube crocodile chop? It should come up. It should be a music video even.

[E]

So, not Kid Rock.

[A]

Nope. Crocodile Chop. And I think that's what we're gonna end on today and then we'll get out of here and you can even cut the fee, cut the mics once we start playing it. Okay, so we'll end on the song and we'll cut it out at home. If you want to, if you want to listen to that song, just YouTube crocodile chops.

[D]

I'm interested to see what this is.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay. Ready?

[A]

Yep. Bye. Have a great day.

[C]

Thanks for my guests.

[A]

Wake up.

[D]

You want self righteous.

[A]

Does.

[D]

To the.

[A]

Sun I.

[D]

Cry.

[C]

When angels deserve to.

[A]

Die Father, Father Father Father into your.

[D]

Hands I come in my spirit Father, into your hands why have you forsaken.

[A]

Me in your eyes Forsaken me in your thoughts Forsaken me in your heart Forsaken me Sa favorite ob and join the crew. It's acamiko morning too. It's acamiko work morning too.