0053. Pete Angelo and Geo Perez

Summary

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 0053

Guests: Pete Angelo & Geo Perez
Date: October 17, 2025
Podcast: GaS Digital Network
Host: Zac Amico

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo epitomizes its signature chaotic, irreverent, and darkly comedic style. Zac is joined by comedians Pete Angelo and Geo Perez for a rapid-fire morning ride through taboo subjects, wild personal stories, and raucous commentary on internet culture, disability, comic cons, and infamous news items—with particular attention paid to outlandish sex and bodily function stories. The banter is unfiltered and switches gears frequently between news clips, depraved nostalgia, and comedic hypotheticals.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Columbus Day & Problematic History

• The show opens with Zac’s outlandish “celebration” of Columbus Day, poking at the holiday’s controversy and targeting the shift to Indigenous Peoples Day.
  • “None of this Indigenous People's Day horseshit, okay? We're celebrating a great man who never visited here once, who completely missed and misnamed and didn't know where he was.” (Zac, 01:08)
• Geo riffs on Columbus staying in the Dominican Republic because of the “big booty bitches,” and jokes about the savagery of early tribes depicted in Disney’s Pocahontas (02:29–04:03).

2. Viral Videos & Bad Days at Work

• The group reviews an airport worker losing control of a refueling hose (04:38).
  • Geo tells a story about tearing a gas pump hose off his car due to panic from accidentally opening a link with explicit images while at the pump (05:25).
    • “You were so freaked out by naked men, you broke a different hose.” (Zac, 06:35)
  • They riff on how embarrassing it would be to have the only thing left after a fiery accident be a phone full of nude photos (06:54–07:17).

3. Phone & Email Privacy: Gross Confessions

• The comics trade stories about old emails, iCloud accounts, and hard drives that would be incriminating or embarrassing if found.
  • Geo: “If you're a teenager, you're taking pictures of all these girls. Now you get older... now you got underage women in your phone, in your iCloud.” (08:18)

4. Printout Porn Nostalgia

• Geo describes, in detail, having to print out low-res porn images to jerk off as a teen, making jokes about distortions and ink use (10:01–10:46).
  • “Why do we keep running out of ass colored ink?” (Zac, 10:46)
  • “Computer's not the only one whose ink cartridges.” (Pete, 10:51)

5. Porn Star Areolas & 'Nipple Science'

• Zac reminisces about 2000s porn stars and fixates on Havana Ginger’s unusually large areolas (11:13–12:12).
  • “Looks like she has two yarmulkers.” (Zac, 12:28)
• A long joke about nipple surgeries and weird cosmetic modifications follows.

6. 3D Printing, Cosplay, and Conventions

• Discussion of 3D printers, with Zac mentioning buying a Mount Rushmore "Golden Girls" statue and Figuring out how cosplay is easier than ever (14:08–15:53).
• The group reminisces about childhood costumes and Power Rangers, with offhand jokes about the Black Ranger’s missing finger (16:04–16:23).

7. Disability: Wild & Tactless Anecdotes

• A segment filled with tasteless, albeit comedic, stories about family members with “flippers” (limb differences), friends with unusual limbs, and encounters with people with disabilities (17:39–21:05).
• They discuss a cousin who sent dick pics somehow despite having no hands; riff on the logistics and physical comedy of it.
  • “How does he open a zipper with his flipper sweatpants?... There’s so many questions.” (Zac, 19:31)
  • “Imagine he has like a 13 inch hog...the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh.” (Geo, 20:15–20:21)

8. N-Word Butt Story

• Zac tells a notorious family story about a relative who is called a racist body-part-based nickname, highlighting the disconnect between his progressive wife’s family and his own blue-collar roots (21:05–22:28).

9. Bachelorette Party Gigs & Ruined Marriages

• Zac hilariously recounts being hired (but not really needed) for a bachelorette party, only for the couple to break up shortly after due to the fiancé’s insecurity (24:29–26:33).
  • “You ruined a marriage by doing nothing. I destroyed a wedding with the idea of me.” (Geo & Zac, 26:33–26:36)

10. Body Diversity: Tally Osborne & Disability on OnlyFans

• The hosts discover Tally Osborne (“armless and short-legged”) on OnlyFans and analyze her photos in their typical crass, big-hearted style:
  • “It's like a sexy cooked turkey.” (Geo, 29:25)
  • “I heard it used to cost an arm and a leg.” (Zac, 32:35)
• There’s genuine, if awkward, admiration for her attitude and independence, especially for driving despite her disabilities (30:20–32:03).
  • “I bet you she would go on the show.” (Pete, 32:27)
  • She’s “50% off right now.” (Zac, 32:55)

11. Gay Bars: Wild Tour Stories

• Pete & Zac talk about performing at iconic gay bars (San Francisco Eagle, Club Dingaling), and the oddities of urinal “dick mirrors” and “cum luges” (34:49–38:19).
• Encounters with “intense” older gay men and club misfits (36:22–37:02).
  • “There's a man barking back there saying he's gonna be my daddy. And the bartender goes, yeah, he lives back there.” (Zac, 36:55)

12. Viral Crash Videos & Traffic Fears

• They react to a Florida BMW crash caught on tape, marveling that everyone survived, and swapping close-call traffic stories (38:41–41:40).
  • “Praise Allah that those guys survived.” (Geo, 39:24)
  • “We both realized we were waiting for me to get out so we could both cry because it was so fucking scary.” (Zac on nearly crashing in an Uber, 41:24–41:33)
• Explains why 18-wheelers have rear “crash bars”—an invention inspired by tragedy (41:33–42:43).

13. Comic Con and Cosplay Culture

• Review of Comic Con cosplays, jokes about the “packs of ugliest dudes with cameras” following cosplayers, and comments on smell and hygiene (43:47–46:36).
  • “It still smells like cheese, though.” (Zac, 45:15)

14. Offensive Halloween Costume Debate

• They devise “most offensive costume” hypotheticals for Halloween (e.g., 9/11 victim, “tunnel Jew,” “Epstein victim,” Hitler variants), discussing the limits and dangers of attempting “edgy” humor in the internet age (50:46–54:21).
  • “It would be like 75 blackface.” (Pete, 52:27)
  • “He was Adolf Tinkler.” (Zac, 53:07)

15. Famous Dead & Criminals: Disney & Lostprophets

• They relish the news of Lostprophets singer Ian Watkins being killed in prison, outlining his truly depraved crimes.
  • “I don’t think this is a controversial take. If you get convicted for that they should just shoot you.” (Zac, 68:01)
• Discuss the “Disney Death” urban legend: Disney supposedly never lets anyone be declared dead on property, learning about a recent Haunted Mansion heart attack incident (59:00–63:32).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Columbus Day Hot Take:
  • “Happy goddamn Columbus Day. None of this Indigenous People's Day horseshit, okay? We're celebrating a great man who never visited here once, who completely missed and misnamed and didn't know where he was.” (Zac, 01:08)
• On disability and ingenuity:
  • “How does he open a zipper with his flipper sweatpants?... There’s so many questions.” (Zac, 19:31)
• Porn Printing Nostalgia:
  • “Why do we keep running out of ass colored ink?” (Zac, 10:46)
  • “Looks like she has two yarmulkers.” (Zac on Havana Ginger, 12:28)
• Gay Bar Urinal:
  • “The urinal was a trough with ice in it with a mirror at dick height.” (Zac, 34:53)
• On OnlyFans amputee star:
  • “I heard it used to cost an arm and a leg.” (Zac, 32:35)
• Lostprophets Singer Death:
  • “It’s the single worst, I think rock star behavior.” (Zac, 66:45)
  • “If you kill a pedophile, you should have a phone.” (Geo, 67:45)
• Disney Deaths:
  • “They will pretend to resuscitate you until you are off the fucking grounds.” (Zac, 59:04)
• On Offensive Costumes:
  • “It would be like 75 blackface.” (Pete, 52:27)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Columbus Day banter: 01:08–04:38
• Airport hose viral video & gas station panic story: 04:38–06:34
• Confessions about porn on old devices: 08:01–11:13
• Havana Ginger’s nipples—wild tangent: 11:13–13:16
• 3D printers & cosplay: 14:02–16:08
• Stories about disability (“flippers”, etc.): 17:39–21:05
• N-word Butt family story: 21:05–22:28
• Bachelorette party gig gone wrong: 24:29–26:33
• Discovering Tally Osborne (armless OnlyFans model): 28:41–33:10
• Performing at gay bars, urinal with dick mirror: 34:49–38:19
• Florida car crash video: 38:41–41:40
• Comic Con/cosplay discussions: 43:47–46:36
• Offensive costumes debate: 50:46–54:21
• Disney “no one dies here” & Haunted Mansion heart attack: 59:03–63:32
• Lostprophets' Ian Watkins killed in prison: 64:58–68:06

---

Style & Tone Notes

• The conversation is fast-moving, openly crass, and gleefully offensive—but it’s largely delivered without genuine malice, and sits comfortably in the tradition of “Comedy Central Roast” style humor.
• Zac juggles simultaneously riffing with his guests, prodding them for stories, and pulling up reference photos or viral videos to drive segments forward. The banter is occasionally mean-spirited for humor’s sake but often self-deprecating or shot through with sardonic affection for the show’s “degenerate” misfit world.
• There are pockets of real, if abrasive, empathy—particularly regarding disability and adversity.

---

Conclusion

This episode is a marathon of tasteless jokes, niche cultural references, dark news, and comedic trauma-sharing, living up to its premise of being the “unhinged, drive-time zoo.” Pete and Geo prove perfect foils for Zac’s relentless barrage, delivering graphic personal stories and leavening the chaos with quick-witted punchlines. While not for the faint of heart, the episode is a fine sample of downtown New York alt-comedy: raucous, wrong, and weirdly warm beneath the filth.

Transcript

[A]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[B]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[A]

Well, I dig the mattress and I.

[C]

Want to be in a T mobile.

[A]

Commercial like you teach me. So, Dana.

[B]

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at T Mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[A]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best.

[D]

Nice.

[B]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[A]

T mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch?

[D]

Dude, my work here is done.

[A]

The 24 month bill credit is on experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge.

[B]

Credits ended, balance due if you pay off earlier, Cancel Finance Agreement.

[A]

IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 A new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based.

[B]

On analysis by Oaklove Speed Test Intelligence.

[A]

Data 1H 2025 Visit t mobile.com Fill her up.

[B]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and jo the crew. It's a morning. That's right, it's a Monday. And welcome to the morning Zoo. It's your other boy, the international superstar himself, Zach Amico. And guys, happy goddamn Columbus Day. None of this indigenous people's day horseshit, okay? We're celebrating a great man who never visited here once, who completely missed and misnamed and didn't know where he was. By the way, I'll still call them Indians. Why? Because there were no such thing as Indians back then because India was called Hindustan. So fuck you, Columbus. Great man. And as a proud Italian, happy goddamn Columbus Day to my guests, Gio Perez from On the Gate.

[C]

What's up? What's up? What's up? Yeah, we didn't kill all those engines off just to rename the holiday after them, man. We got rid of them for a reason.

[B]

Just they were taking up space. Pete Angelo is also joining us. He co signs everything I just said.

[A]

Totally. I mean this face, by the way.

[B]

Oh, can you make sure Pete's got. Pete's got sound. We good? Pete, you got anything now?

[A]

Nope.

[B]

Okay, try him again. Geo.

[C]

He's all the way up.

[B]

He's all the way up.

[D]

All right, hold on. I'll try to switch him out.

[B]

Yeah. See what we got here.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Okay. Something fantastic. There we go. Now we're all set, baby.

[A]

Yeah. What'd you guys say? Something about Columbus?

[B]

No, perfect.

[A]

I heard none of that. And.

[B]

Yep, no problem.

[C]

And. And now I'm just saying it wasn't.

[B]

All Pocahontas back then. Some of those tribes, they were eating each other.

[C]

Oh, they're very savage.

[B]

There was some. Some good. Some bad.

[A]

Yeah, good people on both sides.

[B]

Good people. Cannibals on one side and bad people on the other is what I'm saying.

[C]

And their biggest problem was they didn't realize. Especially, like, because most people don't realize Columbus never came to America. He just landed in Dominican Republic. And then people went from there like it's. Kids went to America. So he went to. He went to Dr. And just stayed there because, you know, they got the big booty bitches out there, of course. So he's. And they had all this golden minerals, a beautiful land, and he's like, looked at as a God out there, right? Yeah, but he said it that some of these people are savages. You've watched Pocahontas is a whole song. They're savages.

[B]

You know, they don't like that term, that documentary. They don't care for that term. All right. We had a lot of fun. And yes, T Bird did officially declare it Columbus Day. T Bird took. Has retracted. Indigenous People's Day. We try not to use the Trump here because it's not a political show and I'm not smart enough to have those discussions. Yeah.

[A]

So just T Bird.

[B]

I call him T Bird, Tony. That's what we called Obama.

[C]

I got already enough things threatening my life. I don't need a bullet.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you. Let's have some fun today. This is going to be mostly a day of silly videos. So let's start with this one. Airport worker appears to lose control of refueling hose.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

Let's talk about a bad day at work.

[A]

Sometimes you can't control your hose.

[B]

Sometimes you can't. You gotta. Sometimes it gets away from you. Especially you end up drinking all night.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Is what.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

It.

[C]

Oh, man. I know if that hit. He's probably blind right now. I know that hit him in the eye.

[A]

I'm just seeing money sign. Just Go like, holy damn, man.

[C]

That's like. That's like six months worth of gas for me, dude.

[B]

That's so scary and dangerous. That's insane that nothing blew up.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, it'd probably be. Probably careful with the, with like, the sparks and stuff. You know what happened to me once I was pumping gas and my friend sent me one of these, like, links where I thought it was like an Instagram page, but when you click the profile, it's like a big picture made of the small pictures of three muscular naked dudes. And I'm open it in public, so I'm like, oh, shit. What the fuck? And I get back in my car and didn't realize I didn't take.

[B]

He calls that his photos.

[A]

Actually, like, that's just me. This is me opening my phone.

[B]

That's, that's just called DMs.

[C]

And then I fucking get in the car and then realize I didn't pull the hose out of the, the car and drove off.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[C]

And I heard the yank and I panicked. And I'm like, fuck. I ran out of the car. Like, the, the little top from the gas can flew off. So I run out the car, pull the hose out, toss it, start looking for the cap, grab the cap, jump in the car, and just drive off. And I'm like, I hope they don't call the cops on me.

[B]

That's so fucking scary.

[A]

You were so freaked out by naked men, you broke a different hose. I gotta go.

[B]

You got so scared of naked man, you almost blew up a gas station. You almost did a Terminator too. Drive away from an explosion without looking.

[A]

All they would have found was just your phone and these naked photos.

[C]

The last thing we saw in his phone.

[B]

Geo's in Joker makeup and a nurse dress. Ah, Naked man just walking away from naked bed.

[C]

They return my property to my family. My daughter's like, oh, I know his password. I can unlock his phone.

[A]

All that was left of the incineration was his phone.

[C]

All that's left and my passport.

[B]

You know? Yeah, that's perfect.

[C]

Unscathed.

[B]

I, I, I, I don't think there's honest to God anything on my phone that I would be bummed if I died. And they went through my phone right now.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think I got anything. Yeah, no, I don't got anything illegal. I don't get anything that I would be ashamed of, you know?

[A]

Now there's nothing on my phone that I haven't, like, said on stage.

[B]

Now, is there an email address? I Don't use anymore. That maybe if somebody. If somebody went through that, if that ever got hacked, I'd be in trouble.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

But we call. That's what we call a good boy email and a naughty boy email.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And, yeah, I would, but I probably haven't looked at naughty boy email in a decade. But there's some stuff I think I still know.

[C]

Is that the email? Naughty boy.

[B]

Oh, naughty boy Zach. Yeah.

[C]

Dude. I'm so grateful that I did not, like, go through my teenage years with, like, icloud and iPhones and stuff like that, because I still have nudes of girls that I hooked up with, like, from my late 20s. So you think about it, like, if you're a teenager, you're taking pictures of all these girls. Now you get older.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And now you got underage women in your phone, in your icloud.

[B]

Oh, yeah. If the FBI raids my mom's house, that 2000 fucking Hewlett Packard or whatever.

[C]

We have in there, I'm like, point at the picture. I'm like, look, that says 98.

[B]

Yeah, whatever.

[A]

She's above age now.

[B]

Now. Yeah. Oh, that. That computer. I mean, I don't think there's a way, any way in God's green earth that it would turn on because of the amount of viruses on it.

[A]

That's all it is.

[B]

Yeah. That thing fucking. That thing was full of. Of evil.

[A]

That that thing would take down the alien ships in fucking.

[B]

I remember the first thing I got, it was like a little stick webcam. It was super shitty. And I remember I bought it. It was like, $35. And my mom goes, and I don't want to see that thing going in the bathroom with you. I was like, why would I go to the bathroom to take pictures with my hard dick, lady?

[A]

Look at that.

[B]

Here, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. Sitting at the computer desk with the camera underneath my dick with me looking around the side.

[A]

Well, that's, like, too. Now you can just, like, porns on your phone. It must be so easy. Remember, like, oh, I could use the family computer or something like that. So I, like, sneak through the house late at night so no one knows what I'm doing. Like, I'm a Navy SEAL trying to jerk off.

[B]

Yeah. Army crawl.

[A]

Army crawling. Pass.

[B]

My parents.

[C]

Yeah. My first computer. Like, it was still. Just still video, still pictures. There was no videos yet.

[A]

Slowly loading.

[C]

Yeah. So you had to wait for them to load, and I couldn't. Like, I shared a room with two brothers, so I couldn't jerk off in the room. So I had to print out pictures. And some of them will be just like. Because they're not like the right size. They'll just. When it prints out, I try to make it as big as possible. So they just came out like, look like Minecraft. Like this Fucking bitches. Minecraft characters. And then like, everybody's like. One was like, why is the fucking name keep getting drained? Like, why do we got to change the cartridges every two weeks? My go and I had like a stack and then they would eventually like, you know, you get some jizz or some, you know, on it and they just start smudging. The ink starts running.

[B]

Why do we keep running out of ass colored ink?

[A]

Computer's not the only one whose ink cartridges.

[C]

He'S like. And it's weird that the black ink keeps going out.

[B]

Yeah. What is.

[A]

What is. Why.

[B]

Why is the Timberland covered ink always straight? Trying to. I'm trying to print pictures of giraffes.

[C]

Why is the red weave color? The red weave.

[B]

I was just thinking about my original, like the ones I used to search for, like back in the day and how they've kind of really held up for me. And it's Gianna Michaels, Brandi Taylor. It was all big titted animals. I was trying to think. Do you remember how big the areolas were on Havana Ginger?

[C]

I don't remember that. I know. Gianna Michaels. I'm not. I'm. I know probably like five porn star names. But like, like, especially like the black ones.

[B]

Shank. You look up Havana Ginger of the topless picture of her. This girl's nipples were wild. What the. Right?

[C]

That's insane.

[B]

Those are wild.

[A]

Did she.

[C]

Are those fake boobs?

[B]

I think so. I don't know, Shannon, because.

[C]

Because what happened could happen. She has smaller nipples and then the breast implant.

[B]

No, no, I don't think that's how that works.

[A]

No Fucking.

[B]

Yeah. Let's talk to the expert. Let's not mansplain tit surgery.

[C]

But I'm saying skin. I know how skin works.

[B]

Yeah, but that's not how nipples work.

[D]

And also they're not so gigantic that they would stretch them out to cover her entire boob.

[C]

Wait, so her tits were smaller and her nipples size was the same.

[A]

She'd be all nipple.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It just be.

[B]

It looks like she has two yarmulkers.

[C]

It's like a beagle.

[D]

I don't know what happened here. It's also there. Like irregularly shaped. Maybe it's cancerous.

[B]

Oh, good.

[D]

I Don't I.

[A]

Don't I feel better now.

[B]

Yeah, that's better. Jorge, thoughts?

[A]

The giant mole.

[C]

They look like footballs. I think that those are fake tits.

[B]

I don't understand the nipple thing. Like, I don't know if that she had, like. Because I know you can get, like, cosmetic surgery on your nipples to, like, get them reshaped. I don't know if she did try something like that, but. Tattoo. Yeah, I. I knew a girl who had her nipples turned into hearts.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I met her at Compound Media. Little blonde hair girl.

[B]

No, different girl.

[C]

Oh, okay, okay.

[B]

Different girl. No, this is. This is a tall redhead.

[A]

There's a lot of them.

[C]

I. I thought that was just a one girl. I was like, wow, that's very unique.

[B]

Yeah, no, she was. She was a goer. Oh, boy. I just had to. Just had some naughty boy email. Memories. All right. Vietnam flashbacks, borrowing my roommate's computer, saying I had an audition. And he's promised me, you're not gonna jerk off.

[C]

Can I borrow your printer, too? I'm gonna bring your printer to the bathroom.

[B]

Please borrow your girlfriend's laptop. Mine keeps crashing.

[A]

The bathroom.

[B]

I have an audition at 11 o' clock tonight. You go to the bathroom. You hear? You hear?

[A]

Just fa, fa fa, fa bre.

[C]

Don't give me a 3D printer wing. I'll 3D print the whole.

[B]

I just watched somebody make the Peacemaker helmet on a 3D printer. And it was wild. Yeah, no, it was for. They were making it for that, but it was wild.

[C]

Dude, my brother got one of those. Oh, he makes these, like, these little warhammer.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like, bad. Like, what's those things like that?

[B]

Yeah, that rules. Yeah, that's fun.

[C]

Like the castles and like the battlegrounds.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'm like, you're an idiot. I'm like, you should sell that online.

[A]

There's a guy he should. That shit's expensive as.

[C]

That's what I'm telling them. I'm like, sell them shits.

[B]

I bought a bunch of that. When they first started coming to horror shows and comic shows, they would start having the 3D booths. And I bought my wife a. The Golden Girls as. God damn it, I'm the fucking dumbest motherfucker alive right now. What is the mountain with the four presidents called?

[A]

Rushmore.

[B]

Thank you. Mount Rushmore. It just slipped my head. I'm not smart. What is this?

[C]

A Mount Rushmore view with four different faces?

[B]

Yeah, I got her at Mount Rushmore. The Golden Girls. And then I got me and my friend Buddhas, but Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern show.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And they were. Yeah, they were like 40 bucks at the time because that had just come out.

[A]

Yeah, just.

[B]

But those are cool. That's. That's. That's gonna be a fucking fun dude. Cosplay is so much easier for people now. That's why you see in all this gnarly. They just had Comic Con and some of the shit was so fucking gnarly this year. Shannon, do you want to. Actually, not now. We'll look at it later. Do you want to see some of the. See if you can search out some of the best cosplay for Comic Con this year.

[C]

I mean, even like the Halloween costumes, like, if you. I remember as a kid, it's like you're a Power Ranger. You had like this fucking spandex jumpsuit and a plastic mask that's going to crack in an hour.

[A]

And there's always nine red rangers.

[C]

Yeah. Nobody wants to be the black.

[A]

No one wanted to be any of that ones.

[B]

Wasn't the Black Ranger missing a finger?

[C]

Yeah, they found that out afterwards. He was like missing that, like, half of his finger.

[B]

And you only see it during the. It's morphin time.

[C]

I never realized that I was older.

[A]

You ever shake someone's hand is like missing a finger or something like that? Yeah, I show you guys hand who has like a second thumb coming out of his thumb.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

And like, literally when I shook his head and I touched, I was like, oh. I was like trying to not freak out.

[B]

You just bend over seductively, you know?

[C]

You know. You guys know that you make me.

[B]

Wish I had two prostates.

[C]

You guys know the. The comedian Sora, Asian girl?

[B]

I don't think so.

[C]

Yeah, she has kind of like a. Like, it's not like she's missing. It was like kind of like born disfigured. And the first time I met, I just shook her hand without realizing. And then the way I held, like, the way I changed my grip on it, where it was just like, oh, hey, how you doing?

[A]

To readjust.

[C]

I was like, oh, I wasn't ready for that doorknob. And the crazy part was I've met. That's not the first time meeting her, but I guess that's the first time going to shake her hand. And I never realized she had that.

[A]

You don't realize they could touch it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

Like the third time I saw her and I was.

[B]

How deep are we into the apple? All right. Mrs. Miko's not listening. I hope not.

[A]

When does she tune out?

[B]

Usually before it airs, but just in case. Zach, if you're. If you're in bed watching this in a couple days, turn it off.

[C]

She just listens to the intro and then shuts it off.

[B]

Yeah, got. She's got a family member who has been on and off substances for a while. A cousin or Not a. Like, a second. Whatever a second cousin is. And she's got a kid with flippers. Yeah, she's got a flipper boy.

[C]

What's that mean?

[B]

His. He's got flippers. He doesn't have hands.

[C]

Oh, like penguins.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's got flippers.

[C]

Mr. Penguin.

[B]

And his. His mom's a nightmare. She'll. Her. Her Facebook is the most white everything that could ever be, like, horrendous white tra. Like, literally one day she posted there were snakes falling out of her ceiling.

[C]

Oh, man.

[B]

We couldn't tell if there were snakes in the ceiling or if she was, like, withdrawing.

[A]

Yeah. She's saying, question. How much Tylenol did she take while pregnant?

[B]

Oh, I think it was a lot stronger than Tylenol.

[C]

It depends on how many perks she took.

[B]

And she's one of those, like, you know how old people don't understand how to appropriately share on Facebook.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they don't realize that, like, it's a public thing. She posted so that, of course, her son lives with the grandma. Natural.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

And he's, like, young, like, probably, like, under 13. And the mom posted that her and the grandma were going through his phone and found a bunch of dick pics, and he had been sending them to girls in his class. She put this all on Facebook. My wife was like, jesus. And then said the girl's name and goes, jesus Christ. Blank. And I look at. I was like, all right, first of all, before we get mad at this kid, we gotta find out how he's taken.

[C]

I was like, how does he open a zipper with his flipper sweatpants?

[B]

There's so many questions. First of all, you gotta fluff it. Yeah. I guess when you're 12, you can't get a rager.

[C]

Yeah. I don't think you're touching it.

[B]

Yeah, but still, I don't know how you do that. The flipper. Flipper dick. And they.

[C]

Does he have thumbs up?

[B]

No. Well, now he's got something.

[A]

I don't know. Now I'm impressed.

[B]

He's got something. It's a nightmare, a walking nightmare.

[C]

He has, like, a stand, like, one of those phone stands he just puts on the.

[B]

Like, the timer Have I ever told the. The story about my other.

[A]

Sending it to the girl who's trying.

[C]

Dude, but imagine he has like a. Like a 13 inch hog and he's.

[B]

Just like, man, the Lord give it.

[A]

The Lord take it.

[C]

He's like, I gotta show these ladies I have something.

[B]

You know, I would just put a dot on the end of the flipper to draw ahead. Shannon, have I ever told the. The N word butt story?

[D]

I don't think on air you have.

[B]

So my wife's got another cousin. I mean, when I talk about the. The. I thought they live near a nuclear power plant. I thought my family was garbage. And then I met my wife's family and she had another cousin. And this was at. My wife is super progressive. I mean, she is so left to everything. And that's all her friends. They're all teachers and professors and shit like that. And my wife does not talk about what I do. We are. It is. Hey, shocker. Yeah. It is understood that we do not discuss Zach's career at my wife's bachelorette party. They're hammered. And her cousin who. I'll say that part. She starts going at work. They call me N. But my wife's friends who are all like professors, go. You can't say, oh my God, sweetie, please. You can't ever say those. But that's my nickname. And she's like. Well, she's like. Because they said I have one. And she's like, all the black guys at work, that's what they call me. And she keeps saying it. And by the way, to prove how accurate that is, she works at LaGuardia. And now I can't remember this lady's name.

[C]

So you just call her.

[B]

So every time I hit my wife. Do you know who I'm talking about? I'll be like, I think so.

[C]

Like, what's her. What's her nickname?

[B]

Babe. And then sometimes will be at Christmas and she'll go.

[C]

All right, I'll say smoke detector beat, butt.

[B]

Chirp. Every minute. Butt chirp.

[C]

She got a chirp. But.

[B]

Oh, dude, I can't call her anything else. It really stuck. That was the same night they came up. So my wife's bachelor party, they all went out and I stayed in to hang out with Cat. Some good guy. And what I did was black out watching the Puppet Master series.

[C]

That's the horror movies with. Is that the guy? The pinhead.

[B]

Puppet master. Are little demonic puppets. But I with contacts. The deeper you get into the Puppet Master movies, the more they're just like Nazi exploitation, where the whole backstory is like, the pilot escaped the Nazis, but then the puppets were Nazi experiment. So by. When you get like six or seven into these movies, it's just swastikas on the walls and ladies and SFs outfits, like whipping people.

[C]

So the. Were the puppets Jewish people? Is that. Was that.

[B]

No, their maker was. And they were. The Nazis were exploiting them.

[A]

Y.

[B]

So yeah. Yeah. That's puppet master. Axis of evil. So I fell asleep just in underwear on the couch. And I didn't know my wife was bringing the entire bachelorette party home so that they could all drunkenly pee. So I just woke up with one eye, and it's my wife and all her friends and family, and I'm just in boxers, and on the TV is just two topless Nazi women nipping somebody with a swastika on the wall. And I was like, oh, man, they must think that's what. I fell asleep too.

[A]

You're like, I'm not even gonna try to explain this.

[B]

Yep. Sorry.

[C]

Ladies, don't walk around him.

[A]

This was part two of the bachelorette party.

[C]

Actually, ladies, keep your shoes on, ladies.

[B]

I got hired to do a bachelorette party once.

[C]

Did he stand up?

[B]

Was that.

[C]

Was this with you and Lewis?

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, was that. I think you told me a story about a bachelor party, but I guess.

[B]

There'S been a few bachelorette parties. No, I got hired to do a bachelorette party in Connecticut. And it was a bunch of girls I went to college, I knew from college, and their one friend was getting married. And it was, I think, the only one out of the whole friend group I had not around with. And they hired me to be, like, the surprise guest. And I was supposed to just come out and do stand up so that they told the. The husband to be. That I was. I think I was. Said I was gonna, like, come out as a stripper, but then just do stand up. But then I was also gonna do, like, staple gun and like, some stunts and shit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he said, I'm not comfortable with that. I don't want any guys at the party. So then they just paid me because I was already on the train there. Yeah. So they just paid me what I asked for anyway. And I. I sat there. I didn't have to do. I didn't do stand up. I didn't dance. I didn't do nothing. I just sat. Yeah, I just sat and hung out. There was not. They didn't do anything. Yeah, they went to a cat cafe. So I hung out with cats.

[A]

They Wanted you. Did they want you to perform at the cat Cafe?

[B]

No. Then they went to a bar and I just went to a bar and sat by myself at a corner and got paid to do it. So this is. And I was like, that's weird that he's so uncomfortable with her being around another guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Their wedding present was a house from his parents.

[A]

Holy fuck.

[C]

God damn.

[B]

They never moved in. They got in a fight at the honeymoon about him being insecure, and both of them never moved in and got divorced within six months.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

You ruined a marriage by doing nothing.

[B]

I destroyed a wedding with the idea of me.

[C]

Honey, you want to see a guy staple his nuts together? Six months.

[B]

They did not make it. They didn't make it past the honeymoon. That is what bad luck it was to think about hiring me.

[A]

You are the. You're the black cloud.

[B]

Yes, I am.

[C]

That fucking girl ever pressures me to marry her, I'm going to hire you.

[B]

Yeah, that's the right part. I'll tell you, buddy, I'll do it.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I got. I got the entertainment for you.

[B]

Yes. All right. Hey, guys. This episode is brought to you by prize picks. You and I make decisions every day. But on prize picks, being right can get you paid. Don't miss any of the excitement this football season. On prize picks, where it's good to be right. Getting in on the action is simple. Just pick more or less on at least two player stats. Then watch the game and see if you've earned yourself some cash. Hey, listen, I do not know anything about sports. I am what's called not a man. But I have a lot of friends who have been showing me the way to get this done and to make a little bit of money on the side. And I do love betting on stuff. So I gotta tell you, this has been a lot of fun. Prize picks even lets you connect with friends and your celebrity favorites, follow other players and even copy their lineups in one click. Get in on the action in over 40 states now, including California, Texas and Georgia. Download the prize pick apps today and use my code Zoo to get $50 in lineups after you just play your first $5 lineup. That's right. Code Zoo to get $50 in lineups AFTER you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. Let's get back into the show. So before we do plugs, actually, I want to look at this real quick. We'll do a little. I guess we'll call this a toiter night, but I'll Even say would. Would. Would you hire her for your bachelor party? Shannon, show us Tally Osborne.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, she has no arms. Oh, my God.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

No wonder you didn't know that girl's hand was weird.

[C]

I was looking at her titties. That's why I took us. I thought she was kind of like, had them behind her, like, her back.

[B]

So I have a friend dwarf who's called. Who's called the Illustrated Penguin. And he has. He has just hands on his shoulders and he's about the same height. And I want them to meet so bad. And then find out if they'll meet in captivity.

[A]

Highlighted the last one we clicked on. I just saw a comment and said, I miss you.

[C]

Go to that blue bikini one. It's like fucking. Like a sexy cooked turkey.

[B]

Oh, it's like when. When Newman really wanted to eat and Kramer turned into the bird.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, so she's a hot torso. The legs are short, but that's a big ass and some pretty deep. I can't tell if her tits look huge because she has no arms, but I think she's got. Yeah, she's got tits on her.

[C]

It's like a mannequin with like.

[A]

Well, it's kind of like you just took a bunch of pieces from another. Other mannequins and then you couldn't find arms.

[B]

Yeah, and then you got like the bottom half from, like a bad neighborhood.

[A]

Is this, like, lost them at some point or never born with them?

[B]

I would assume this is a born this way.

[C]

I bet you she has bad.

[A]

That's what Lady Gaka was thinking, actually.

[B]

Can we look at. Let's look at that side picture. Is those. Are those the. The. Her driving? Yeah, yeah, her driving.

[C]

Oh, God, she's driving.

[B]

Hey, I can't drive. Put that.

[A]

There are people who suck at driving, and this woman's doing it with no arms. That's crazy.

[B]

And little legs.

[A]

Yeah, she had to. Probably the big pedals. Yeah.

[C]

But she's still a woman. So at the end of the day.

[A]

Look, I didn't say it was. It wasn't dangerous. I'm just amazed she's doing a period. So if she hit something. If she hit your car got out, you'd be like, nah.

[B]

Yeah, it just.

[C]

Just hops out the window. Doesn't even open the door.

[B]

My bad. Can you imagine, though, getting in a car with her? That, that, that woman gets out, you have to be like, I'm going, you know what?

[A]

Of course it's a Mini Cooper.

[B]

Oh, man, she gotta hold the mop with her neck. With her throat.

[A]

Hey, whoever's filming could just help her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

By the way.

[B]

Hey, you want to take a crack at this? I think good for her. I think absolutely. I think it's. I. I'm gonna say something retarded, but it's almost like kind of fucking like this bitch drives and shit. That's a fucking. She's fucking not letting shit stop her.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Fucking homos who don't drive, and just because they're like, I'm gay, I can't drive.

[B]

Yeah, well, same. Yeah, that's. I don't know. I bet she's a party.

[A]

Hell, yeah.

[C]

I'm pretty sure she got better areolas than that other girl.

[B]

I don't know. I guarantee. You know what?

[C]

Yeah, look, you could just tell from the heart. The heart's not.

[A]

Yeah, the heart would have been the size of the other girls.

[C]

Yeah, like those got great tits.

[B]

Yeah, good for her. Shannon, what's her only fans check.

[D]

By the way, she said in that one she got her license a year ago.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

Do they have a special.

[C]

Only fans. Okay, now go to Reddit.

[B]

No, no, that's the motor. Only fans. She's beautiful.

[A]

I bet you she would go on the show.

[B]

What's the name?

[C]

It's funny that it's half off right now.

[B]

I heard it used to cost an arm and a leg. I had two subscriptions. So what's her. What's her. I can't read the name.

[D]

It's. So her name is Tally. It's Retaliate. Retaliate, but spelled R, E, D, I.

[B]

T, A, L. All right, you know What? Hey, she's 50% off right now. Go down.

[C]

I. I thought she was, like, being sarcastic and called herself tall.

[B]

$10 for a month, man. You know what? Support this woman, this angel, this. This no winged angel.

[A]

This fan base is definitely jumping all over that.

[B]

Yeah, 100%. I think if you jump on her, then she's just a head and shoes and walks away. All right, let's get plugs out of the way. Mr. Perez.

[C]

Oh, yeah, this. When does this air?

[B]

It's live right now. It'll be on YouTube in a couple days.

[C]

All right, if you're in Atlantic City this week, the 16th, I'll be there. 8 o'. Clock, catch me at the stand. I'm there all month. And I'll be at Skang Fest. I haven't got my post yet, but yeah, if you're gonna be there, say what's up?

[B]

Excellent. Mr. Angelo.

[A]

Follow me at Metal Pete Comedy. I am heading to San Francisco this weekend. I'll be headlining the San Francisco Eagle, then the Barristan Street Fair and then the Oakland Comedy Festival. So that's where you can find me next weekend.

[B]

Fantastic. Follow me online at ZackisNotFunny Tickets for all my shows at Punchup Live Zackamico. Come see me do commentary for Juggalo Championship Wrestling whole end of the month. And hey, if you love this show and we know you do, go to gas digital.com today. Tons of updates on the site and use that promo code Zoo Z o o. We save money off your subscription. You get episodes early ad free and uncensored. Get the live chat, you get the archives. Thousands of episodes of your favorite cast digital shows and you get that Friday show. That's right. We do three of these a week only to go out for free. So if you want that third bonus show, subscribe with that promo code Zoo. And thank you so much for checking it out. And have you been to the Eagle before?

[A]

Not the San Francisco one. I've been to the New York one.

[B]

When my band played the Eagle.

[A]

What the fuck?

[B]

In 2006 or 7. And that is the story I tell where the gay bar, the, the urinal was a trough with ice in it with a mirror at dick height.

[A]

I was gonna say it's at the bottom.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Dude, every time I go to one of the gay bars, I go in there like I'm like, I'm an open minded guy. I'm, I'm sexually. I leave there like I'm a Christian housewife. I can't do it.

[B]

Fiddle dd my stars homosexuals.

[C]

Once I start seeing like tall silly straws coming out that trough, I'm like, they're drinking it too, dude.

[B]

So that was that.

[C]

Why else would they put ice in it?

[B]

Yeah. So the urinal was a long trough like a, like a Yankee Stadium or whatever. But then dick mirror, when we got, when we were loading our gear in.

[C]

Things appear smaller than they appear in the mirror.

[B]

When we were loading our gear in the party had a real mean, gruff like leather guy. Yeah, it was. Hey, and I don't want you to make a mess. I don't want you stealing any liquor. And you clean up after yourselves when you're fucking done. All right, we go. Yes sir. And then he turned away and right behind him on the bar was just a full length portrait of him naked with a boner. With one drip of cum falling like a Mr. Coffee.

[A]

He's. What about you guys? Making a mess. Fuck. All they do in here is make a mess and walk through there like a zoo.

[B]

Oh, dude. So we go to hang out in the backyard and there was an old man in, like, the leather cap and the vest, giant nipple rings. And I had my mohawk at the time. He was, I like your hair. I think it's cute. I saw the Sex Pistols once and I'm gonna be your new daddy right in my, like, fucking Rick Steiner right in my face. I go back inside, I'm like, there's a man barking back there saying he's gonna be my daddy. And the bartender goes, yeah, he lives back there.

[C]

Oh, that's barking Bob. Yeah, don't mind.

[B]

He has a dog house. I don't know if he still lives there, but he said he lived there.

[A]

That's like. That's wild too, because it's like, you see, like, young gay guys are like the least scary human beings. All gay guys are like, so intense from dealing with everything they had to deal with. Yeah, they're the scariest human beings.

[B]

Yeah, they are the gruffest because, like.

[A]

They had to actually, like, go through, like, real intense homophobia. They're like, oh, I have to be the scariest man possible possible.

[B]

Oh, dude, they were so. That was. That was an eye opening experience. Good fun, though, I'm sure. Good times. We opened for. Who were we with? It was us, New Thrill Parade. And I think the other band was called the Opposite Sex. They were very good too. But New Thrill Parade was the. They were like a super.

[A]

Like, was the Eagle getting a lot of bands back? Like back in the day?

[B]

It was like a goth punk night that they were doing, but it was fun. That was a good. We played there and another gay bar in LA called Club Dingaling and Club Ding, a lingering. A divot in the stage that, like, was diagonal. So it poured. And we asked what that was, and that was the cum luge. And they said back in the day, dudes used to sit at the top, not like the dudes would sit at the bottom with their mouth open. And whatever came down the luge came down the luge.

[C]

They got cum gutters on the stage.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. All right, so I like dudes and I'm still like, let's, let's. Let's change this. Let's. Let's watch another terrifying video. Florida BMW driver loses control and let's find out what happens. This. This one scared the shit out of me. As someone who's driven large vehicles, Pete, I. I think you know where this might Go.

[A]

Oh, no, don't like this.

[C]

Oh, yeah. If they survive that, man, that. That guy's praying.

[B]

Yeah, I was gonna say Christmas vacation lied.

[C]

Yeah, those guys survived. I'm turning Muslim.

[B]

That was.

[D]

Everybody survived. No one was injured.

[A]

Get the out of here. Oh, my God. Really?

[B]

I just wanted to see Pete jump on that one.

[A]

Praise.

[C]

Praise Allah. Praise Allah. Praise Allah. Praise Allah. Praise Allah that those guys survived.

[B]

Yeah, I'm switching. That was. That was some holy. Can we watch that again? Jesus.

[A]

Where the was he going?

[C]

He's probably driving like an.

[A]

Oh, he definitely was driving like.

[B]

An. What do you think? He's. He skid it out.

[C]

Yeah, he was probably going around, you know, dipping and dodging.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Go around the car.

[A]

Not to be like. Like props to that truck driver. Yeah, that's holy that he was able to control it, not kill that car and not kill that car.

[B]

He didn't kill him, and he killed anyone. He.

[A]

I thought he was heading to the other side of the. Of the road.

[B]

I thought he was gonna jack nice.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, he did, but it stopped.

[B]

I mean. I mean, I meant roll over.

[A]

Roll over. Yeah. Like, holy fuck.

[C]

That's a scary thing. I drive a lot, so that's just scared of me, man.

[B]

I. I was in a Uber that the last almost accident. Because I've been in two Ubers that have been in accidents in the last couple years. But there was one, you know, like, when you're getting off the BQE to go to my neighborhood.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that you can either stay on that and go to Staten island, or you can turn into the last stop in Bay Ridge. Right. There was a truck and a car, and they both decided to try the other way at the last second. And we watched a truck just take the back half off the car right in front of us. This truck took the whole back half off. Oh, shit. It was. And we swerved around it, and it was me and this old black guy, and we both went, ah. And then we drove in dead silence to my house for, like, another four minutes. And he parks, and I look at him, and he looks at me, and I went, are you okay? And he looked back, he goes, yeah. Are you okay? Yeah. I went, all right, man. Have a good day. And then we looked at each other, and we realized we were both waiting for me to get out of the car so we could both cry because it was so fucking scary. I mean, it was eight feet in front of us.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I mean, it was a brute. If it had been, we. Oh, we would have Been annihilated.

[C]

Oh, dude. You know why they have that, that. That crash. But that bar on the back of those 18 wheelers, like, on. On the trailer, is because, like, there was, like, some famous celebrity who was like a baby at the time. And they were in the car with the parents, and the truck stopped short, so they crashed into them. And for some, I don't know, some physics, it swallows up the car, basically, if you hit the car like that. That's why they had to add that.

[B]

I did not know that.

[C]

Yeah. And I'm trying to remember, you know that guy with the bandana that kind of looks like you, that has all those fun historical facts?

[B]

No, what?

[C]

There's a guy, Shannon, you know what I'm talking about. He wears glasses and he wears, like, a bandana. Long hair. And then he'll tell you, like, these weird stories and how it connects to, like, some celebrity or politician. So this was like. I don't know if it was like, Julia Roberts parents or somebody like that, but, like, they're the reason those crash bars were put into place because, like, I know we lost rich people.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

I mean, that's usually how you fix it.

[B]

That's how to deal a rich person.

[A]

And they'll change whatever the fuck it was.

[B]

All right, Shannon, did you find any of the best of the Comic Con?

[D]

I did, yeah. So we can just kind of scroll a couple different sites. We can just kind of scroll through these.

[B]

Yeah, sure. I've very well done. Xena costume. All right, that's fun.

[A]

Wait a second.

[C]

No, that's just a dicky suit.

[B]

Yeah, it doesn't.

[A]

You mean you're gonna safari?

[B]

That doesn't count. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great friends at Yale Kratom, home of the 60 kilo. If you use Kratom for one of its many benefits, and if you don't use Kratom, don't start on my account. But if you do only get it From One Place, yope kratom.com Home of the $60 kilo. Stop going to bodega smoke shops or gas stations where you barely know what you're getting. It's super expensive, and they have no idea what they're talking about. Because yocratum.com has the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at the network. There's no promo code needed. It's already the best deal in the world to kratom. $60 for a full K one more time, guys. Let's go to yocratum.com home of the 60 kilo, and let's get back into the show. That's okay. I guess you're gonna bring your mom.

[C]

I thought that was Tim bodily for a second.

[B]

All right, that's hot. Those are. Those are professional hot girls, though. Those aren't.

[A]

That's like.

[B]

If you go, those girls are getting paid to be there.

[A]

It's wild. Like, I went to one of the festivals in, like, D.C. and I go, like Casanova and a bunch of our friends, and it's amazing. It's just, like, super, super hot chicks being followed around by packs of the ugliest dudes you've ever seen with cameras.

[B]

Oh, yeah. It'll be like Indian dudes who tuck their T shirt in. You know, this is a very specific kind of person. Indian guy in, like, distressed jeans with, like, two belts and he tucks his T shirt in. Eddie has a professional camera.

[A]

A lot. A lot of fat neck beards too.

[B]

Just like.

[A]

It just, like, packs them. But I was also like, where's the opposite of that? I was like, where? Just hot twinks who are just, like, dressed up as.

[C]

Oh, no. I was. We're the hot girls. I don't know.

[A]

I was like, yes, the hot girls are everywhere. They're just followed around by, like, the grossest dudes. If you were even just, like, a slightly attractive guy, you could do fine, dude.

[C]

Those hot girls saved that Comic Con because before it was just dudes. And then.

[B]

It still smells like cheese, though. It's got a. It's got a.

[C]

That's usually the yeast infection.

[B]

It's got a funk to it. You can smell it on the floor. They had a, like, magic, the gatherings and stuff. Now they'll. They'll put up, like, please use deodorant. There was the funny. Did you ever see the Who? Somebody took a picture of two chairs at a wrestling show and both had shit smeared on. Because dudes. No, because they just had, like, fat guy jeans where their butt was out. And I guess both didn't wipe well. So I remember when I went to xpw, there were these two twins that were in the crowd. Yeah. Yes.

[C]

God, that's disturbing.

[A]

And I'm checking everyone. I'm checking every chair that I got hit with from.

[B]

There were two twins that came to XPW the first time I went there. And they stunk. They were huge. They. They had to be like, six, eight. And they stunk so bad that when they walked into the building, it smelled like Remember. Remember when you used to walk by a blimpy and not. Not the bread. The, like, salt. The. The. The oil and vinegar smell that BL has?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They made the building smell like a rotting blimpy sandwich.

[A]

You were like, can we get the wrestlers out here to bleed and try to mask this smell a little bit?

[B]

Yeah. Can we blow up some light tubes? Can I smell burnt flesh so I have to smell.

[A]

He's not out here on fire, please.

[B]

Any other. So you bring that back up. Shine of the. The cosplay.

[D]

I'll just scroll through a little bit.

[B]

Scroll through.

[A]

That was like Jeremy Runner.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

That's great.

[C]

Venom Pikachu.

[B]

Venom Pikachu is pretty sick. Don't care.

[A]

Nope. Cool. Get out of here.

[B]

That's just a pain in the ass.

[A]

Why you can't around that thing.

[C]

Cool.

[B]

That's just. Yeah, that's gay.

[C]

That's. Jesus.

[B]

That's a pedophile.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Jesus.

[C]

Who's that? Oh, Pokemon.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, I'm over this. Sorry. Those are just Halloween.

[A]

Yeah, those are just like, walls.

[B]

Oh, wait, go back. I hope that's a dad and a daughter now that ladies. Oh, yeah. No, you know what?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's older than I realize. She presented. She presented young because I thought she had braces. But nope, that's just a creepy old couple. All right. That's pretty sad.

[C]

Oh, that's a. Okay.

[A]

You're like, oh, damn.

[B]

All right.

[C]

That is the ugliest Velma I've ever seen in my life.

[B]

I. I would. I would be like, hey, can we pretend you're the bad guy and put the mask on you? Yeah, I just. It's the walking around part that I can't fucking.

[C]

You guys dressing up for Halloween this year? You guys have ideas?

[B]

I think. What? Fuck Shadow Caesar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That one was just, like, way more. Well, a lot of work.

[B]

Yeah, it's a lot of work.

[C]

There's a hidden Nazi symbol somewhere.

[B]

Yeah. There's a group I know that does cosplay, but they do it for, like, charity stuff. So they'll go to, like, children's hospitals. Is like all the superheroes. That's cool that this, to me, is a little, like, a lot of work for. I don't know. I think we're going to do a Halloween episode of the show. So I am. I have to dress as something.

[C]

You should be the Philly Karen. He's just a gray wig, a Philly jersey, long sleeve.

[B]

And then I'm on. I'm on tour with Insane Clown posse on Halloween, I think.

[A]

So what do they do? Just do the opposite. They just, like.

[B]

They were Mario and Luigi last year with the clown makeup. I was thinking about just being violent because I already have, like, three of his outfits that we have the same clothes. So I was just going to be him.

[A]

That works.

[B]

I thought it would be pretty funny. And then my. But I kind of want to give the idea to. Our lead announcer is, like, a chubby guy with glasses and brown hair who kind of looks like Jim Ross. And I'm trying to convince him to put on the black Stenson, but then do the clown makeup and be violent Junior.

[A]

Oh, it's fucking amazing.

[B]

Yeah. I thought it was so funny. And I was gonna try and convince the other guy to be Shaggy, too. Cole. But then I don't know what. I'll be probably Taz.

[C]

Tasmanian devil.

[B]

No, the wrestler has the. The little. The little orange Italian man.

[A]

Whoever. I know they fight now, but you could be. Twas did.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, no, that would not go over. I know. No Tat. You don't remember Taz. He wrestled. He's a little orange Italian man. Everyone thought was black when we were kids.

[A]

I thought he was.

[C]

He was he before.

[B]

His name is Pete or something. I don't think he's fan. I think he's Italian.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

By the way, I'm. I'm basing this on Taz. To me, I'm basing this. Yeah. I'm basing this on every new Jack shoot where he just shits on Taz. He's like. Everyone's scared of this. He's a little Italian man. He don't know how to fight. He's a little Italian man. I thought that was black. And then I meet him. He's orange.

[A]

At least.

[C]

At least a Salvadorian or Mexican.

[B]

All right, keeping it moving. Oh, real quick.

[C]

How many. How many people you think are going to do the Charlie Kirk costume this year?

[A]

Just being.

[C]

Yeah, just. Just a turning point shirt with a blood stain on their neck.

[B]

I don't. It's. I.

[C]

There's gonna be.

[B]

It would have to be the week of. For it to be, like, shocking. I think it's just kind of cringy at that point. At this point, I think the offensive costume in general, unless you're real, like, that's almost, like, too much. Yeah.

[C]

Or you could be like the. Be like the bullet casing. Dress up as the bullet.

[A]

They just all have different things written on them. Now that everyone's writing.

[C]

You do that with your Boys and. And be like, hey, you know, I'm the one that says, I don't remember what the.

[A]

It said on them, but Anti Ice.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I think it's. My friend had an idea years ago, and I think it was a good idea in practice, but I don't think you could pull it off. But he wanted to do a. An offensive Halloween night party, but it would be yonder bags, no phones.

[C]

And that way he's the only one that can blackmail people.

[B]

And I was like, I don't think there's a way to. I don't think there's a way to get people to agree to it. Yeah. And I would like. But his idea was like, you know, like 9, 11, Victor, like, whatever the most. But it would be a contest for the most offensive costume. And he's like, but it would be yonder bags because. So people don't lose their jobs. But I just don't think you get enough people willing to give up their phone. And I think people would rat each other out. I don't. I wouldn't trust anybody.

[A]

There'd be so many blackface.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It would be like. It would be like 75 blackface.

[B]

I mean, just. You got the shot. You only get one shot. There's my chance. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Who would be. So you'll definitely have a Cosby there. Hitlers is probably going to be a couple Hitlers. Because people, you know, my friend, years.

[B]

Ago was Hitler Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell, yeah. He wore a Hitler mustache and hair with a Tinkerbell outfit and a swastika armband. And he got a big fight at a bar and got kicked out.

[A]

They weren't cool.

[B]

They weren't cool with it. They didn't realize that he was making fun.

[C]

I saw a video today. It was a guy.

[B]

Oh, he was Adolf Tinkler.

[C]

I saw a guy, he was calling himself Big Hitler Crip, and it was a ginger guy. He had the Hitler mustache, but the rest of his beard was kind of, like, chopped up and he had red dreads.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. I'll send you the video. Shannon, this is. This is one of the favorite.

[A]

My brain can't even put that.

[B]

Yeah. I can't put it together at all.

[A]

I need to see.

[C]

This is what I have to show you guys.

[A]

I'm, like, trying to envision this human.

[B]

No way.

[A]

I did do it two years ago. We did Tucker and Dale.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Versus evil with my partner, who's Asian.

[B]

Yeah, that's fine.

[A]

People still got it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

We kept staging all of My co workers as like dead bodies that we were finding throughout the night. It was so fun.

[C]

I sent it to you.

[B]

Jorge, what would be the Most? I mean, 911 victim I think would be high up there, but like, what palace? What is that child?

[A]

Yeah, well, what's like. Well, what would make it a 911 victim and not just like dust? Just dust.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Just cover it.

[B]

Which people I know people definitely have done.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I think anything anti Semitic would probably be. Yeah, yeah, like tunnel Jew or whatever.

[C]

Oh, tunnel Jew is good.

[B]

Tunnel, like a minor outfit. Plus a. Plus the curls.

[C]

Oh, Epstein victims.

[B]

Yeah, Epstein victim would be good. Jeffrey Epstein.

[C]

Yeah, you could do Jeffrey Epstein as Bruce. Bruce Buffer, the. The fight announcer.

[A]

Introducing.

[C]

Introducing. Coming in at 12 years old, £110. It's showtime.

[B]

Well, no, Bruce Buffer. Let's get ready to rumble.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

What's the Brother Michael Buff, it's time, right?

[C]

Yeah, it's time.

[A]

Give me the two of those guys.

[C]

I just mixed up. I just used a battle rapper.

[B]

Oh, weird.

[C]

It's Big Hitler Crib. Big Hitler Crip. Yeah. Assign Hitler. Yeah, it's Big Hitler Crib. Big Hitler Crip.

[B]

I can't believe he doesn't have a podcast here.

[C]

I'm gonna try to get him on as a guest. Jorge, can we reach out to him and get him out here?

[B]

Hey, when he does Dave's show, can you ask him if he'll do the whole rounds or will we all. When no one else is allowed here because Dave's interviewing him.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Can we find out if he wants to do more shows?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. We can't get Nick Fuentes, but we could definitely get Big Hitler Crip.

[B]

Yeah, he's a real get for me. Well, let's disrupt the schedule of the entire studio for Big Hitler.

[C]

Big Hitler Crip. Yeah. Like, tell RFK can't come in today. We got Big Hitler Crib.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So RFK at my gym.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like three weeks ago, he was just stretching on the easy curled bar rack jeans. He would just go, then do a bunch of pull ups and then go back over there, Stretch, like where people are trying to get dumbbells from. They're just in their way. And then just pick up a bar and just do the worst bicep curls I ever saw.

[B]

Feel the burn.

[C]

He's just talking to a secret service.

[A]

And then I saw roadkill outside, and I was like, I know why he's here.

[B]

Oh, does he work security for him?

[A]

Who? No, the road. I just saw, like, a dead animal.

[B]

I Thought you met the Amish wrestler Roadkill.

[C]

I thought this was, like, another Rock.

[B]

Thought you meant the Amish guy from ecw. There's an alternate reality where rfk, or excuse me. Where there is another season of Curb. And it's just Larry having to be mad about Cheryl being married to rfk. And it would be my favorite thing ever.

[A]

I literally. Because my partner was at the gym with me, and he has the get out of jail free card of being like, I'm not from here. I don't need to care about anything happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so he was just like, who rv Jesus. The guy's like. He goes, oh, isn't he married to the lady from. From Curb? And he's like, imagine if we just went up to him and just complimented his wife. Just like, because everyone's going to him shaking his hand. It's like, your wife's great. You. I don't care. Or who are you?

[C]

I don't know who you are, but your wife is amazing, dude.

[B]

My dad did that. My dad runs, like, water stuff for triathlons and stuff sometimes, or used to do anymore. And he was working, and he's like, yeah, so, you know, this is nice blonde lady. We talked for like, 20 minutes about the river, and her and her husband go out and kayak there. And then he came over. Really fucked up voice. But then I realized it was. It was Robert Kennedy. Hung out for like an hour. Nice guy. I liked it when he was here. I thought he was. I thought he was a nice man. So we'll. But, hey, I'm a bad judge of character.

[A]

You could be a nice man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bad ideas.

[B]

Here's a fun one that I gotta stop eating the way you do. I hear good things about you.

[A]

Why can't we just get him like a WWE style manager to talk?

[B]

Oh, mouthpiece. Yeah. Let me tell you something, baby. We're gonna take all the bad. We're gonna ruin everything, you know?

[A]

Like that. You should do that for me.

[C]

You guys know the Philly rapper Benny Siegel? So he lost his voice too. And he uses AI like, he's recording an album with Jadakiss and he uses AI so why don't they use AI to fix Robert Kennedy's voice?

[B]

It'll make him sound like jfk.

[C]

Make him sound like Beanie Siegel.

[B]

Oh, Bang Bang. Seagull Street Gang. Early would be a great.

[A]

He'd just be a great sound bite for rap songs.

[B]

Here's a fun one. I'm excited. So we. We. We've talked many times on the program about Disney and how nobody seems to die in Disney. You can get your fucking head cut off and they will pretend to resuscitate you until you are off the fucking grounds. And I mean no more of an appropriate place. Disney Haunted Mansion Death Shannon. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Small Batch Cigars. Simple, fast, small batch. Hey, having a nice cigar or two in the house is just as classy as a nice bottle of wine, some fine cheeses. And I am not the classiest individual, but our friends at Small Batch Cigar make it easy for even a moron like me to look a little bit classy. They have free shipping on every order, and almost every order arrives within two to three days in the continental United States. It's the most thorough packaging in the industry. Every one of those comes with a Boveda pack, so they come super fresh. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited, and hard to find cigars. And you earn 5% rewards points instantly. So try out smallbatch cigar.com today. Most people click the new button first to shop around the newest arrivals. And we have a discount code for you. That's gas 10. Gas 10. And that gets you 10% off plus those 5% rewards points. So check it out, let me know what you think. Small Batch Cigar. Simple, fast, small batch. Let's get back into the show.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Man, the Disney parades are different now.

[B]

Well, this is them going to retrieve.

[C]

Wait, so who.

[B]

No, this is them going to. Oh, it was a lady, right? Shannon.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I think she had a heart attack.

[B]

This lady died on the wrong.

[D]

What?

[C]

She got, like, spooked by Ursula or some.

[B]

What's the Haunted Mansion? Was a ghost.

[A]

Now she is. She's like, I want to do that.

[B]

So very immersive.

[C]

How old is this lady?

[B]

I don't know, but she dead. And there's a thing. How old was the. The rumor is that you're not allowed to die at Disney. Even if you're like, fucking eviscerated dead. Yeah, they will say we. They will declare you dead as you leave the parking lot.

[C]

Oh, so you died. Oh, they died at the hospital.

[B]

You.

[A]

That you hit the turnstile.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, like, they'll pretend to resuscitate you because they have sunk. Because Disney, like, is its own governing body. Like, they have their own, like, rules and shit. And I think it's supposed to be that no one's ever died there, even though just the sheer amount of people have definitely died. It's impossible. Like, that's like saying Nobody ever died on your block.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like it's gonna happen. Shannon, Did I get most of that?

[C]

Was like a century. How long has that park been open?

[B]

For quite a while.

[C]

5 years.

[B]

100 years. Shan, did I get close with that?

[D]

Yeah, yeah. That's all correct. And G asked how old she was. She. It says she's in her 60s.

[B]

And they also said no comment on whether or not there was someone else in the ride with her.

[A]

Like, don't wait. Haunted Mansion. I thought you walk through.

[B]

No. You're in a. It's the one where, man.

[A]

If you get scared of death. Haunted man.

[B]

Well, it's the one where they show you the ghost in the car with you.

[A]

Oh. And she just.

[B]

But then, dude. Because my thought is it didn't say she died at the end of the ride.

[A]

Yeah. She's just a dead body.

[B]

This. If there was someone in. Because I think they're two or three person cars. If there was a person stuck with a dead body through the. Locked in.

[C]

Yeah. Like, if she died in the beginning, like, the first. Like.

[B]

Yeah. While there's ghosts on the walls.

[C]

And.

[B]

And that means.

[C]

And then an actual ghost appears.

[B]

That means they had to cover up the TV that has the pictures.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I'm like, I still want it.

[B]

I still would want it more than anything.

[A]

100.

[C]

I'd be on the screen taking a picture of the tv.

[B]

Like, all right.

[A]

I'd buy it and frame it and, like, put it up in my house.

[B]

If I would buy it if I wasn't in it. Yeah.

[C]

I'm like, fucking awesome.

[A]

If you're the. Like, if you're. If I worked at Disney, like, hey, I'm sorry this happened. Can we make her a ghost now in the.

[B]

That would be appropriate. Because they're not gonna. Appropriate.

[A]

We'll retire one of the other ghosts and we'll put her like this as a ghost.

[B]

There's been so many. I watched a whole deep dive on a kid that here it is. Yeah. This is what it looks like. But, yeah, I would assume that she was strapped in with somebody.

[C]

Oh, so you can't even see the people in front of you. So whoever's sitting next to her is the one that's probably just like, emily, Emily, get up.

[B]

Yeah. Then the end is they show you that there's ghosts in the car with you. And. Yeah, I don't know if it'll work.

[A]

Did she have a heart condition or is this scary to her?

[C]

You find out if she took the jab.

[B]

I don't Know if they'll show. Oh, yeah, yeah. See?

[C]

And that's what fucked her up?

[B]

Well, no, but I mean that's what they do at the end is they show that there's people in the car with you.

[C]

You look at one reflection, it's just a slumped old lady.

[B]

Yeah, that would be so fucking scary.

[C]

He's taking a video just like.

[B]

Oh, that's fucking Jesus. Hey, some. Some fun. Happy news. LOST profit singer.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Ian Watkins killed in prison. Thank the Lord.

[A]

I can't believe it took this long.

[B]

The.

[A]

You don't know this story?

[C]

The kid?

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

He wasn't gonna last way.

[B]

Oh no. He's been in for years. So lost profits was big like new metal era, right?

[A]

Yeah, I was a fan, so I'm.

[C]

Guessing he's probably in protective custody. And then somebody find just he's been.

[B]

Stabbed a couple times. And I don't mean. I mean you want to talk about a horrendous dude monster, I believe. And Shannon, you can correct me, Bab. He got caught trying to negotiate with an agent. Right. And he wanted to like infants. An infant.

[C]

So an infant's like one to three, Right.

[B]

And yeah, he went and I'm pretty sure that's what was on the computer. But yes, he finally, in an act of completely justified. Let's. Let's shave a few years suicide squad off whoever did it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was killed in prison. Shannon, is there any more details?

[D]

Not. Not about that. Well, there's two guys. Two guys that they have in custody that. That they believe did it. But I saw the. The singer, John Joseph from the CRO mags. Is that right? I saw him post about it and apparently the guy that killed him was already in for murder. But also some of the other things that he's accused of doing was having animal porn on his computer.

[C]

Just all around evil people and then.

[D]

Yeah, lots of conspiracy to have sex with. With a one year old convincing a mom to abuse their child in front of him on webcam. So he's gross. Was gross.

[A]

He is like literally like the top of the mountain of like gross.

[B]

Yeah, it's the single worst, I think rock star behavior.

[C]

He should be a politician.

[B]

Yeah, there we go. Then he would have.

[C]

He would have been good, right?

[B]

He should have been a priest. Yeah, they would have transferred him.

[A]

I mean, lost profits, profit.

[B]

There we go. I really lost a lot of profits.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When he got arrested, they couldn't do more tours or something. Yeah.

[C]

When did.

[A]

When did he go to jail? When was he?

[D]

2000. He was convicted in 2013.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Like I was a long time.

[C]

He had to be 1412 years.

[B]

Yeah, I think. I mean I. I would agree he was probably in protective for sure but I was gonna. He's been attacked a few times, right?

[A]

I know he's been. I'm pretty sure he's been attacked and every time everyone's like huh, is this the one? This one? Ah, nah, they failed.

[D]

He was also. He was sentenced to 29 years in prison and then he was caught with a phone in prison. So he got an extra 10 months.

[B]

Oh, what an asshole. 29 years.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[C]

I think if you kill a pedophile you should have a phone.

[A]

That's the other guy should get his phone.

[C]

Yeah, you should get the pedophile's phone.

[B]

Not what's on the phone.

[A]

No, erase the phone.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta.

[C]

You gotta wipe it. Set factory reset.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Keep what you kill.

[C]

Give him that. Give him that iPhone 10 circling in jail.

[B]

I don't think this is a controversial take. If you get convicted for that they should just shoot you.

[A]

What he was they just taking the.

[C]

That should be death penalty.

[B]

That not even firing capital back of the head. Russians, Soviet Union. What just he got just not. I mean not in the courtroom. Don't make spectacle of it.

[A]

I don't know. That's why he got 29 years for that. He was more than half way.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[C]

That's how old is he when he got locked up?

[B]

Insane Shannon.

[A]

He'd be all he'd. He'd be alive to get out.

[C]

No, but they'll be keep hitting him at the board.

[B]

Well that's the best thing about one year olds. You go away for 30 years. They say the same age. All right. Ended it there. Thanks guys so much for watching the boarding zoo. That was my guest, Gio Perez and Pete Angelo who agrees with everything I said today and supports it and everything I said. Yeah it just.

[A]

No one will believe it is a.

[B]

Huge fan of everything I said and thank you myself, Gio Perez and lost profits number one fan Pete Angelo. This is Zach Wednesday.

[A]

I fucking hate you.

[C]

Buns begun.

[B]

No sleeping in noon is morning time to him pop may go chug it down just like favorite OB morning too.