Zac Amico's Morning Zoo (Ep. 0054) – Doug Uram and Mike Sicoli

Date: October 19, 2025
Podcast: GaS Digital Network
Guests: Doug Uram, Mike Sicoli
Host: Zac Amico
Main Theme:
A chaotic, comedic morning radio-style show dissecting weird news, stories from theme parks and fast food brawls, degenerate habits, and the comedians’ unfiltered perspectives on American society, food, and animal encounters, all with Zac Amico’s signature irreverence.

Episode Overview

This episode is pure Morning Zoo: irreverent, offbeat, and jam-packed with black comedy. Zac welcomes New Jersey comedians Doug Uram and Mike Sicoli (Prom King) for a rollicking ride through Disney tragedies, culinary abominations, Jersey crime, barfly traditions, “Murder Dogs,” conspiracy theories about beef, and a tour of “Prison Connect” – a dating site for inmates. If you love disturbing news, crude truths, and laughing through society’s underbelly, this is your episode.

Table of Contents

• 1. Disney Disasters and Theme Park Darkness
• 2. Sneaking Food & Booze (Everywhere!)
• 3. Bizarre Booze Stories & Bad Bar Shots
• 4. Dogs, Babies & the “Murder Dog” Segment
• 5. Angry Fast Food Fights & Drive-Thru Chaos
• 6. Jersey Shore, Parking Scams & Neighborhood Gentrification
• 7. The Comedy Show Fundraiser Hellscape
• 8. Prison Connect: Inmate Dating Profiles
• Notable Quotes
• Memorable Moments

1. Disney Disasters and Theme Park Darkness

Timestamps: [03:00] – [11:00]

• Discussion opens with the recent news of a woman dying at Disney’s Haunted Mansion and a rare Disney suicide connected to the monorail.
• The crew riffs on how Disney quietly manages on-site fatalities, refusing to let anyone "die at Disney" (Zac: “They will carry you off the premises” [03:03]).
• Story Deep Dive:
  • Monorail suicide: speculation on whether it was caused by monorail, a jump, or a cover-up.
  • Doug: “You're not going to go on a ride better than that now.” [04:00]
  • Zac: “If you die at Disneyland alone, that's just the depression of being at Disneyland alone.” [07:41]
  • Mike: “I just wanted to see one thing... now you have to go buy toys and you spent about $5,000. You're not going to pay the mortgage. Your kids had a great time at Disney World. There’s the monorail.” [08:07]
• Bizarre “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” ride accident—kid ejected, survived with lifelong injuries, died years later.
• Rides with brutal reputations: Space Mountain (heart attacks, seizures), bad theme park food ("meatball corn dog" ad) and the unhealthy guests themselves.

2. Sneaking Food & Booze (Everywhere!)

Timestamps: [10:45] – [17:30]

• Sneaking Food into Disney:
  The panel discusses Orthodox Jews sneaking food into Disney, with Zac and Mike debating whether the "kosher excuse" holds water. (“Turkey legs are kosher, go fuck yourself.” [09:36])
• Sneaking Liquor/Cigars:
  • Childhood memories of hiding beers in coolers to get through stadium security (Herbie biker story).
  • Doug: “It’s like a bear in a circus. It’s the same thing.” [14:26]
  • Cruise ship ‘booze bladders’ and using tampons for cigar smuggling.

3. Bizarre Booze Stories & Bad Bar Shots

Timestamps: [17:40] – [23:00]

• Ingenious and disgusting ways to sneak or serve illegal/terrible booze:
  • Sunscreen bottles, hairbrushes, umbrella flasks, listerine/nyquil for Jagermeister (Pantera band legend).
• Bar Traditions:
  • Malört (Chicago’s notorious bitter liqueur)—Mike: “It tasted like you bit a table that had bug spray and liquor on it.” [21:31]
  • Absurd bar shots: "Coney Island Whitefish" (used condom shot), Jersey Turnpike (bar mat), and shotgirls' bachelorette circuit stories (Shannon recounts being a shotgirl once [23:13]).

4. Dogs, Babies & the “Murder Dog” Segment

Timestamps: [24:00] – [30:00]

• This recurring segment features questionable “cute” dog videos—this week, a toddler motorboating a Rottweiler’s jowls.
• Doug (sarcastic): “Videos like this should be used as evidence against parents.” [26:09]
• Mike and Zac debate the line between responsible pet/child interaction and stupidity.
  • Zac: “You see it on the internet—morons letting their kids poke, prod, and bother dogs that are clearly giving warning signs…” [26:29]
• Wild animal fandom: Mike admits he’s always the one wrestling/taming any animal, no matter the risk. (“I am a hulking retard when it comes to animal. I want to scratch his big belly!” [29:35])
• Discussion of video clips of tigers attacking their owners and the fallout.

5. Angry Fast Food Fights & Drive-Thru Chaos

Timestamps: [47:54] – [54:47]

• Extended play-by-play of viral fast-food restaurant brawls (Whataburger, Sonic, McDonald’s, Waffle House).
  • Zac: “Every time there’s a fight...somebody has to yell the name of the place.” [49:08]
  • Sonic anecdote: Zac describes building tension at a Sonic, anticipating the coming fight.
• Crackdowns at Jersey/NYC fast food—everyone has a tale of seeing violence or insanity explode at drive-thrus.
• “Dinner and a show” at the infamous West 4th Street McDonald’s in NYC.

6. Jersey Shore, Parking Scams & Neighborhood Gentrification

Timestamps: [59:29] – [62:27]

• Asbury Park and Long Branch gentrification: luxury homes facing off with chaos, homelessness, drugs, and drive-bys.
• Parking ticket scams: Doug’s saga with accumulating over 70 parking tickets in Asbury, the nightmare of virtual court.
  • “I didn’t pay for parking for a year and they let them build up, then your license is suspended...just pay for parking.” [61:20]
• Other towns with brutal parking enforcement (Weehawken, Hoboken) and the irony of local politics.

7. The Comedy Show Fundraiser Hellscape

Timestamps: [64:04] – [67:02]

• Horror stories from comedians working VFWs, Elks lodges, firehouses—especially as part of somber fundraising events (sick babies, house fires).
  • “There’s nothing worse than being on a flyer and the dinner is bigger than your name. It says, like, spaghetti and meatballs, which would be our comedy duo.” – Mike [65:25]
• Tone-deaf show organizers and surreal happenings:
  • Doug: “Some lady walks over and just starts licking and sucking his tits. And we're like, what the fuck is going on in this place?” [65:02]

8. Prison Connect: Inmate Dating Profiles

Timestamps: [69:10] – [74:52]

• The panel reviews “Prison Connect,” where inmates post videos/photos seeking pen-pals or romantic connections.
  • Zac: “I haven’t heard one [success story]. There’s a lot of, ‘...and then I got murdered.’” [69:34]
  • The comedians riff on the sketchier and more bizarre profiles, poking fun at wild backstories, appearances, and suspect gender presentation (“That looks like one of those Mexicans that look Asian. Filipino, I’ll guarantee.” [72:11])
• Mike: “That’s a girl that will fuck your life up. She’ll burn down your brand new apartment.” [70:33]
• Doubling down: Zac, Doug, and Mike riff on every odd inmate profile, from “Meryl Streep on a rough day” to missing teeth and marks of rough lives.

Notable Quotes

• “You’re not going to go on a ride better than that now.” – Doug Uram ([04:00])
• “The same people who took over Harry Potter took over Hocus Pocus. Some fat, miserable dyke.” – Zac Amico ([11:33])
• “Videos like this should be used as evidence against parents...involuntary manslaughter.” – Doug Uram ([26:09])
• “It tasted like you bit a table that had bug spray and liquor on it.” – Mike Sicoli on Malört ([21:31])
• “Every good, like, day off starts with fast food breakfast.” – Zac Amico ([43:35])
• “There’s nothing worse than being on a flyer and the dinner is bigger than your name. It says, like, spaghetti and meatballs, which would be our comedy duo.” – Mike Sicoli ([65:25])
• “I haven’t heard one [success story]. There’s a lot of, and then I got murdered.” – Zac Amico, re: Prison Connect ([69:34])
• “That’s a girl that will fuck your life up. She’ll burn down your brand new apartment.” – Mike Sicoli ([70:33])

Memorable Moments

• [12:18] – Zac’s “fat, miserable dyke” Hocus Pocus rant, raising raucous laughter.
• [21:31] – Mike’s vivid hatred of Malört: “Tastes like you bit a table.”
• [26:09] – Doug’s faux-PSA against parents who let “Murder Dogs” interact with their babies.
• [29:35] – Mike’s love for wrestling dangerous animals: “I want to scratch his big belly so bad.”
• [43:35] – Zac’s Sunday breakfast philosophy and descriptions of legendary day-off farts.
• [49:08] – “Every time there’s a fast-food fight, someone yells the name of the place.”
• [61:20] – Doug’s parking ticket hell tale and cursing the Jersey parking mafia.
• [65:25] – “Being on a flyer, the dinner is bigger than your name…spaghetti and meatballs.”
• [72:19] – Zac: “That’s one of those Mexicans that look Asian. Filipino, I’ll guarantee.”

Episode Tone

• Raw, raucous, unfiltered, openly politically incorrect.
• Heavy on blue-collar nostalgia, Jersey/New York attitude, and the absurdity of everyday American chaos.
• Absurd, self-deprecating, stories that swing wildly from dark humor to vulgarity to slices of ethnic, barroom, and trash culture.

Final Thoughts

If you thrive on comedians letting loose without a filter—riffing on pop culture horrors, urban decay, wild social interactions, and the upside-down logic of America—this episode is a must-listen. Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo keeps the mayhem constant, the observations sharp, and the shock laughs coming in a variety of flavors, from “meatball corn dog” to “Prison Connect heartbreak.”

End of Summary