0056. Brendan Sagalow and Xia Anderson

Summary

Podcast Summary: Zac Amico's Morning Zoo

Episode 56 – Brendan Sagalow & Xia Anderson
Date: October 26, 2025
Network: GaS Digital

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Overview

This Halloween-week episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo delivers exactly what fans expect: a raucous, darkly comedic, and irreverent drive-time show featuring comedians Brendan Sagalow and Xia Anderson. The trio riffs on horror movies, Hollywood sequels, childhood fast food memories, strip club incidents, and the latest viral weird news stories. Expect wild tangents, unapologetic jokes, and stories from their personal and professional lives, all through Zac’s signature blend of B-movie misfit humor and morning zoo chaos.

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Main Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Halloween Vibes, Costumes, and the Addams Family

Timestamps: 02:24 – 03:56

• Hosts riff on their Halloween “vibes,” joking about costumes and Addams Family theories.
  • Zac welcomes Xia and Brendan, describing their “Pugsley and slutty Wednesday” look.
  • “My culture is not a costume.” — Zac, on people dressing as him for Halloween. (02:36)
• Deep dive into fan theories about the Addams Family — are they dead, cursed, or just weird?
  • Zac: “They’re cursed so only an Addams can kill another Addams…” (03:18)

2. Horror Movie Deep Dives: "X", "Pearl", "Beetlejuice 2" and More

Timestamps: 03:56 – 14:26

• Discussion on Ti West’s horror trilogy (“X”, “Pearl”, “MaxXine”):
  • Zac provides a plot rundown. “X is… they’re making a porno on a farm.” (04:54)
  • “Pearl was so good… it’s like the 1910s or 1920s, kind of a Wizard of Oz vibe.” — Zac (04:43)
  • Xia, a horror fan, adds: “Return to Oz… it scared the shit out of me.” (05:56)
• Beetlejuice Bar & Acting Anecdotes:
  • Zac talks about emceeing with a “Beetlejuice” impersonator.
  • “He had a fucking horn in his crotch. So he would grab his crotch and go, honk-honk.” — Zac (07:05)
• Beetlejuice 2 Critique:
  • “They don’t feel cinematic. They feel cheap… like a fucking SNL sketch.” — Zac, on modern sequels (08:33–09:03)
  • “Sequels have, like, done a disservice to movies.” — Brendan (09:03)
• Jeffrey Jones Controversy:
  • Zac and Brendan discuss disgraced actor Jeffrey Jones’ absence from the sequel.
  • “He got arrested for Jenna Ortega… he was soliciting a 12-year-old boy to make videos.” — Zac (09:43–09:54)

3. Fast Food Confessions & Childhood Poverty

Timestamps: 16:19 – 39:40

• Spam Musubi and Hawaiian Snacks:
  • Zac tries Spam Musubi after Zia’s recommendation.
  • “Tell me they’re not the greatest thing you’ve ever had.” — Zia (16:25)
• Quick detours into “Air Buddies” and dark Disney trivia:
  • “It’s the only movie of the series to not have the ‘no animals were harmed’—there’s a five dog body count.” — Zac (17:51–18:41)
• McDonald's Orders & Fat Guy Logic:
  • "The Sag Daddy is the number nine—two plain cheeseburgers, no ketchup." — Brendan (31:05)
  • Zac reveals his love for nuggets with syrup: "Honey or maple syrup for half of them, hot sauce for half." (33:06)
• Fast food binge logic & Domino’s nostalgia:
  • “If you order other meals with your meal… you’re becoming fat mentality.” — Brendan (32:00)
  • Brendan and Zac compare Domino’s “555 deal” stories from their childhoods (38:04–38:38).
  • Zia reveals her dad sold weed so she always had “walking around” money (38:53).

4. OnlyFans & Teacher Shenanigans

Timestamps: 39:40 – 42:14

• Can OnlyFans Creators See who Subscribes?
  • “You can be anonymous.” — Zia clarifies, sharing an anecdote about her high school music teacher subscribing under his real name (40:20–40:39).
  • Zac and Brendan riff on Chinese music teacher stereotypes ("Gary Fung") in a bit of improvised, irreverent banter.

5. Outrageous Viral News: DUI Chases & Stripper Stories

Timestamps: 44:23 – 56:16

• WorldStar Video: Man Throws Cup at McDonald's Workers, Gets Beat Up (26:56)

  • Hosts joke about fast food rage and their own anger issues.
  • “I never write a review, but…” — Brendan mocks hypocritical Yelp reviewers (29:24)

• DUI Suspect Vomits on Deputy (44:23):

  • “Oh my God. What is this show?” — Brendan, on the type of stories Zac brings in (44:23)
  • Zia recounts her own DUI arrest (“They gave me ramen and a donut... I was happy to pass out.”) (46:13)
  • Tangent into bad cop movies: “Bad Lieutenant” (47:08–53:09)
    • Memorable moment: Zac insists on watching Harvey Keitel’s infamous scene: “You ever suck a guy's cock?” (49:47)

• NYPD Detective Flashes Gun at Stripper Named ‘Bambi’ (54:35–58:07)

  • Conversation about strip club safety, bad policing, and how things have changed with body cams.
  • Xia: “Imagine being so horny you're willing to shoot a stripper so you can see your favorite one.” (57:23)

6. Gritty Q&A: Would You Blow a Cop to Avoid a DUI?

Timestamps: 59:29 – 62:39

• Brendan asks if Zia would have performed a sex act to avoid DUI charges.
• Zia: “No, because it was someone I knew... He went to the gym I worked at.” (59:46)
• The group discusses the nuances/ethics of ‘favours’ for cops in exchange for leniency.

7. "Ozempic Vagina" & Rapid Weight Loss Surgeries

Timestamps: 64:12 – 68:14

• Discussion of new phenomenon: “Ozempic Vagina/Vulva.”
  • “After rapid weight loss, women are seeking vaginal rejuvenation for saggy skin and dryness,” — Zac & Shannon (65:13)
  • Brendan: “I would like to see some Ozempic pussies.” (67:06)
  • Jokes about irreversible ‘fat brain’ syndrome.

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Notable Quotes

• “Sequels have, like, done a disservice to movies. There hasn’t been a sequel where you’re like, ‘whoa, this is great.’” — Brendan Sagalo (09:03)
• “It’s so good. It was so goddamn good. Have you had [Spam Musubi]?” — Zac Amico (16:25)
• “If you’re going to McDonald’s and expecting everything to go right, that’s on you.” — Zac Amico (29:49)
• “I never write a review, but—” — Brendan Sagalo, mocking Yelp types (29:24)
• "My favorite thing is the recurring joke [in Bad Santa] that he loves anal." — Zac Amico (53:55)
• "I would like to see some Ozempic pussies." — Brendan Sagalo (67:06)

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Timestamps: Key Segments

• 02:24 — Halloween, Addams Family, and Costumes
• 04:43 — Ti West's horror movies review
• 07:05 — Beetlejuice Bar: Performing with impersonators
• 14:16 — Why horror icons have little screen time
• 16:19 — Spam Musubi and Hawaiian fast food
• 26:56 — McDonald’s viral freak-out video
• 39:40 — OnlyFans teacher story
• 44:23 — DUI suspect pukes on cop; Bad Lieutenant viewing
• 54:35 — Detective flashes gun at a stripper
• 59:29 — Would you blow a cop to get out of a DUI?
• 64:12 — "Ozempic vagina"/weight loss surgeries

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Conclusion & Plugs

• Plugs:
  • Zia: “True Dat” podcast, YouTube, OnlyFans, Fansly (24:08)
  • Brendan: “Sag Daddy 2 Pod,” new show “Fart Carnival” with Mike Cannon (24:57)
  • Zac: Tour with Juggalo Championship Wrestling, follow @ZacIsNotFunny, GaS Digital subscription promo (25:34)
• Sign-off:
  • Zac: “Please support my guests… If you’re subscribed, we’ll be back this Friday… Thank you… I love you very much and I appreciate you.” (68:14–68:51)

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Overall Tone:
Uncensored, raucous, often darkly comic with moments of absurdity and real-life vulnerability. The dialogue swings from pop-culture analysis to truly “morning zoo” debauchery, making it perfect for fans who want edgy, unpredictable, and irreverent comedy.

Transcript

[Zach Amico]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[Zia Anderson]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Zach Amico]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So Dana.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Wow, impressive.

[Zach Amico]

Let me try. T mobile is the best place to.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best. Nice.

[Zia Anderson]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[Brendan Sagalo]

T mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition.

[Zach Amico]

So what are we having for lunch?

[Zia Anderson]

Dude, my work here is done.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The 24 month bill credit is on experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge. Credits ended balance due if you pay off earlier Cancel Finance Agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 A new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oaklove Speed Test Intelligence Data 1H 2025 Visit t mobile.com Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and jo the crew It's a morning hi. It's a Wednesday. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zack Amico saying hello to all the zoo files out there. And welcome to another edition of Zak Amico's morning Zoo here on the Gas Digital Network. I am thrilled. The people across from me are so funny, so wonderful, so kind and very, very good looking. I'm very very happy from SAG daddy. Duh pod it is. Our good friend for many many years, Brendan Sagalo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Fucks up.

[Zach Amico]

How you doing buddy?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Chilling, man. Happy Halloween.

[Zach Amico]

Happy Halloween my friend.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This is your time to shine.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's gon great.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's a great spooky when everybody's gentrifying your. Everybody's wearing your costume.

[Zach Amico]

My culture is not a costume. And sitting next to him from True dad here on the network, it's the Anderson.

[Zia Anderson]

What's up Zach?

[Zach Amico]

How are you?

[Zia Anderson]

I'm good, how are you? Thanks for having me.

[Zach Amico]

Very very good. You guys have definitely a pugsley and Wednesday vibe going on right now. That's exactly it, dude. That's exactly it.

[Zia Anderson]

Like a slutty Wednesday.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So funny in the show.

[Zia Anderson]

She's less. She's less. You know, she wears the big T shirts and stuff.

[Zach Amico]

I read a theory that she's dead. What?

[Zia Anderson]

Wait, wait, what?

[Zach Amico]

She. When she went down the stairs, she died.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I thought they were all dead.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, they're just weird.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And that's what the Adams family is. They're not dead.

[Zach Amico]

They're cursed. They're cursed so only an atoms can kill another atom, supposedly.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, cool.

[Zach Amico]

That's why they can do, like, all this crazy shit.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Whoa, that's cool. Yeah, I know any of that.

[Zach Amico]

And, yeah, there's something. There's a bunch of shit like why they fight and why they, like, blow each other up and shit. Because they're cursed with something. And I think it has to do with fuck. I read about it. It was cool. But supposedly, in this version of Wednesday, they think she's dead. And that's why Morticia doesn't really acknowledge her the same way she does, because she's a ghost that doesn't know it yet.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Now, at the risk of sounding like a pedophile, that Jenna Take has got some sweet ash.

[Zia Anderson]

I think she's in her 20s.

[Zach Amico]

I think you're definitely above board because she has a nude sex scene in X. Whoa.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What? Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Zia Anderson]

I have that movie.

[Zach Amico]

You haven't seen it?

[Zia Anderson]

I haven't watched it yet.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I have to go.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, my God.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Thanks for having me, you guys. I have to go home now.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, X and Pearl are both really good.

[Zia Anderson]

I think I actually have both of them.

[Zach Amico]

Pearl I like the best. So it's a trill. It's X. Pearl and Maxine.

[Zia Anderson]

I don't have Maxine.

[Zach Amico]

I liked Pearl the best, then X, then Maxine. Max and Maxine was fine, but Pearl was so good. It's like. Like. I think it's like the 1910s or 1920s.

[Shannon]

Oh, shit. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And it's that fucking Mia Goth chick, so she's hot.

[Brendan Sagalo]

These movies are about these guys that are like. Or these people that are making porn and then they get killed along the way.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, X is. They're making a porno on a farm.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And then the farmers kill them.

[Zach Amico]

And the farmers find out and they're. They're very unhappy about it. Dan D. Pearl is a prequel to when the old lady who lives on the farm was a young woman who wanted to be an actress. So it's kind of a dichotomy and the old lady in X is Mia Goth in old lady makeup. Oh, wow.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah, I gotta watch these. Is there an order, like, what's the order that you have to watch them in that X? Pearl Ex Pearl.

[Zach Amico]

Maxine.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, got it. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they're really, really good. They're. They're pretty gory.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't like. Yeah, I'm not pretty gory.

[Zach Amico]

Pretty. And then Pearl's just all acting.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't like gore. I don't like all that acting. No. I hate acting.

[Zach Amico]

Mikoff is so scary and per. Like, she's unhinged scary. It's got, like a Wizard of Oz vibe to it.

[Shannon]

Ooh.

[Zia Anderson]

There was this one movie that I remember watching when I was a kid. It was a Wizard of Oz movie, and it scared.

[Zach Amico]

The Return to Oz.

[Zia Anderson]

Yes. Where the fur is a bulk. Take the heads off, dude. I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but it scared the. Out of it.

[Zach Amico]

It's surprisingly weird for a kid.

[Zia Anderson]

It's such a strange movie. Yeah. But I remember really liking that it had. It had that kind of. Of a gothic feel, which I really enjoyed.

[Zach Amico]

Even then, I'm still. I still think that the troll. Trolls in Earnest, Scared Stupid are scary.

[Zia Anderson]

We're watching Ernest Scared Stupid for Halloween this year. I'm so excited.

[Zach Amico]

It's. So.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Have you been to the Beetlejuice bar?

[Zia Anderson]

No. It's right there sober, so I don't drink, so. Going up? Like, I could go check it out, but, like, you know, I'll get a mocktail every once in a while.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

I'm just so fancy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't drink either, but I would go to the Beetlejuice bar just to hang.

[Zia Anderson]

Just to see it.

[Zach Amico]

I did a show with one of the Beetlejuices. We emceed a night together.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, from the bar?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Not there. He. He was. It was his night off. He was Beetlejuice at another bar and we hosted a show together, and he was fucking awesome.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Did he do it as Beetlejuice?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. He was in the full shit. And he had a bunch of bits. Like, he had bugs and snakes in his pockets. He had a fucking horn in his crotch. So he would grab his crotch and go, honk, honk.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, that rules.

[Zach Amico]

He ruled. But then he would be out of character in between. I would go with squeaky.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, I would do this.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Yours would be like. Like.

[Zach Amico]

Would you turn my dick upside down? It goes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. It's like a cow.

[Zach Amico]

It was so Weird, because I didn't talk to him before the show. So I met him on stage as Beetlejuice, and then he was just like a flamboyant gay guy when he wasn't Beetlejuice.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, that makes me so happy.

[Zach Amico]

Bring over your next act. Come on. And then we would get back and he's like, these people have no idea.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, wow. That shit.

[Zach Amico]

I have to put, it was so funny watching the fucking thing.

[Zia Anderson]

That's good acting. People like that should be in TV and movies.

[Zach Amico]

He was great. I wanted to. He was one of my ideas. If we had done for my wedding was for him to be the mc, oh, that would have been so cool. But we didn't wind up doing like that route, which I regretted because D.J. took it upon himself to do it. And had I known he was gonna do that, I would have hired somebody better.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Did you see Beetlejuice 2? Yes.

[Zach Amico]

It was a movie.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that sucked, bro.

[Zach Amico]

I watched it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Sorry if Beetlejuice 2 makers are listening to this, but that. That was pretty brutal. It stunk again, though, that Jenna Ortega.

[Zach Amico]

So here is my. With blgs too A. It's my problem with a lot of movies now. They don't feel cinematic. They feel like they're made for tv. They feel cheap. And when you look at the scope of that first Beetlejuice, it's such a big world.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And the whole town is like a character.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And when you watch the new one, it feels very cold and like, almost like a digital. It feels like a fucking SNL sketch.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, like for the past 20 years, sequels have, like, done a disservice to movies. Movies.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Like there hasn't been a sequel where you're like, whoa, yeah, this is great. I mean, maybe I'm wrong with that. Oh, yeah. You like all that?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I. I think it's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm talking about the hangover.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's very fair.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's just rehashing the same. And I hate it.

[Zach Amico]

And it didn't feel cinematic.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hate it.

[Zach Amico]

And I get they hate for it. Of course they can't use Jeff Jones, the dad.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah. Because he's a.

[Zach Amico]

He's a naughty boy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, brother.

[Zia Anderson]

What did he do?

[Zach Amico]

He. He got arrested for Jenna Ortega. Yeah, he was arrested.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's a bit of a cenophile.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

His. His. He had a bad hard drive or two.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

And I believe his charges were soliciting a 12 year old boy to make videos.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, brother.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

Can't come back from that.

[Zach Amico]

I say Beetlejuice you know, believe it or not, he actually has worked since then on Deadwood and in the Deadwood movie. And he was in something. Oh, ravenous.

[Zia Anderson]

How is he not in prison?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Is he in jail?

[Zach Amico]

He got out. He did his time.

[Zia Anderson]

How long did he do?

[Zach Amico]

Not that long.

[Zia Anderson]

What the.

[Brendan Sagalo]

How did he get out, though? That's crazy.

[Zia Anderson]

Holy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Like, in prison, good behavior. You know how it goes. We've all been.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but I'm sure he was, you know, the most white collar.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Right. They were all in there for that shit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm sure he was in. I'm sure he was in fucking special boy prison.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He wasn't in gen pop, so of course they couldn't use that. I get. But to not have the Maitlands, the Gina Davis and Alec Baldwin, you got.

[Brendan Sagalo]

To have Alec Baldwin in it.

[Zach Amico]

But also Gina Davis.

[Zia Anderson]

But they would be age.

[Zach Amico]

This is fresh. This was fresh. Alec bald. This was. This was. This still had gunpowder on him. Alec Baldwin.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like the point of the whole first movie is that she doesn't feel like she's part of the. Lydia doesn't feel like she's part of her family, and the Maitlands adopt her. So then for them to not be in the new one, and it's all about her relationship with her mother, who's a cunt the whole first movie. And not. It's not even her mother. It's her stepmother.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Who's again, what's her name?

[Zia Anderson]

She's fantastic.

[Zach Amico]

Famously.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Shit's Creek and Winona Ryder.

[Zach Amico]

No, the mom.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The mom.

[Zia Anderson]

I love her, though. She's so good at everything.

[Zach Amico]

And to make the whole movie about their relationship when the whole thing was like, that's not her real mom. She's a. She took up over the family. In fact, I believe there's a deleted scene from the first one where they move back to New York and she stays in the house with the ghosts.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's stupid.

[Zia Anderson]

But see, that's the problem, though, because they're ghosts and they're dead. If you bring them back and they've.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Aged, like, that's kind of cool.

[Zach Amico]

But then they. It was so disappointing the way they explained it. Which was what happened? Oh, they found a loophole.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And then what? And went to heaven or something.

[Zach Amico]

That's all they say in the second one.

[Zia Anderson]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

They're like, oh, yeah. The whole thing is supposed to be. They're trapped in the house forever.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they went, oh, they found a loophole.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So where'd they go if. Yeah, whatever.

[Zach Amico]

Did you Know the who? Who. Beetlejuice was supposed. The first person to be cast. The original version.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Michael Keaton.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Sammy Davis Jr. Oh, that would have been good. Because in the first script, Beetlejuice is a little Arab, man. I'm dead serious.

[Zia Anderson]

I would love to see that.

[Zach Amico]

Like a little. Almost like a genie.

[Zia Anderson]

I want it. I want an alternate reality version of that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

Someone needs to make it.

[Zach Amico]

I. And then the movie's really. It's one of those things where you go back. Beetlejuice is barely in the movie.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's only in it for, like eight minutes, right?

[Zach Amico]

I think it's 10. And that's because they added the snake banister.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, so you would count that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, because they real. That was a completely different scene. A different monster attacked. And when they did test screens, they're like, oh, yeah, Beetlejuice isn't in most of this movie.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They wanted to do that again. That's what. In Michael Keaton's little interviews, he was like, you know, I'm not really in it that much. So we wanted to do that again. Someone trying to get out of work so bad.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They're like, we're making a second one. He's like, I only think I should be in it for about eight minutes. Let's go back to the. You know, let's. Let's stick to the original.

[Zach Amico]

But there's a few movies where that's the case where, like, you remember the main character being somebody and like, oh, they're like Hannibal Lecter, I think, is in less than 10 minutes of sounds of Lambs.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's not in it at all.

[Zach Amico]

And then there's some. Another one that I'm thinking of where you're like, oh, he's not really in the fucking movie at all. And. But they're the star, quote, unquote, of the movie, right?

[Brendan Sagalo]

What movie was that? There's another one.

[Zach Amico]

There's another famous horror thing that I can't think of right now. And of course, like, Jaws is not in the movie at all until the.

[Zia Anderson]

End, but that's what made it so scary.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it's because Shark didn't work.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, that. But it still worked like it worked in the movie. It was one of those movies.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jaws ain't scary at all. That's pussy shit.

[Zia Anderson]

Jaws is creepy. Jaws is one of those movies that I'm glad I didn't watch until I moved away from home, because that could have fucked up my whole life.

[Zach Amico]

Out of your mind. Jaws is so good.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm not afraid of a Fish. Sorry. I'm not gonna be afraid of no fish.

[Zach Amico]

You should be.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm gonna get out of the water. Okay, first of all, here's how you solve j. You don't go in the freaking water.

[Zach Amico]

They do jaw screenings in pool. Like at pools. Oh, that's where everyone's in the water.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And then they touch their little toes.

[Zach Amico]

I think that would be so scary.

[Zia Anderson]

That would freak me out. And I want to go. I want to go cage diving with sharks so bad. Like, that's. But that's a bucket list item of mine I want to do. I think it'd be so fudgeing. Cool.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Fudge that.

[Zia Anderson]

But.

[Brendan Sagalo]

But fuck your dream.

[Zia Anderson]

It would be fun.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Now.

[Zia Anderson]

It's the type of fear. Because there's like a healthy level of fear there because you should be scared of sharks. But I also think that it's because it's. They're relatively safe. Right. Like, you don't hear about them getting broken into that much. So as long as you go to like a reputable one.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I will counter that with that.

[Zach Amico]

I don't want to go in the water. I don't want to be underwater.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Much less with monsters.

[Zia Anderson]

I like being underwater.

[Zach Amico]

I don't. I don't care for it.

[Zia Anderson]

I used to be. I used to be out in the water for so long that they literally, like, my family would be like, somebody needs to get that white girl out of the water. We need to put sunscreen on her before she turns into.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Why are they saying white girl? Where were you going to the beach? Jamaica. Somebody needs to get that white girl out of the water over there.

[Zach Amico]

No, she's from the Savage. The savage land.

[Zia Anderson]

The Savage land.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, you are. I totally forgot about that.

[Zia Anderson]

Born and raised half my family. Straight up Hawaiian. My sister's brown. My mom's brown. I look like my dad, cuz you wouldn't know looking at me. You think I'm from Connecticut. Connecticut or something. Yeah. Kentucky. I don't know.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They were going. Get that howly out of here.

[Zia Anderson]

Yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

We have to celebrate that.

[Zia Anderson]

Totally a thing.

[Zach Amico]

Brandon, by the way, somebody made me try Spam Musubi.

[Zia Anderson]

Tell me they're not the greatest thing you've ever had.

[Zach Amico]

It's so good. It was so goddamn good. Have you had it?

[Zia Anderson]

I need to convert everyone Spam.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Zia Anderson]

Spam Musubi.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, I've never.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon. M U S U B I.

[Zia Anderson]

They're fantastic. In Hawaii, you buy them at 7:11. You go if you're up. The best thing is, and this is obviously Back when I drank going into 7:11 at 3 o' clock in the morning because they're open 24 when you're just completely faced. And they have Spam Musubis and manapuas, which are like steamed buns filled with like chashu and like different kinds of meats. Jesus. I get like six manapuas.

[Zach Amico]

That and. Oh, I had a. Was it. Locomotives are also locomotive bowl or whatever. It's just. It's a hamburger steak with gravy on rice. With an egg.

[Zia Anderson]

With an egg.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

I have surfed, but that wasn't really my thing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You like Johnny Tsunami? Remember that movie?

[Zia Anderson]

Oh my God, I forgot about that movie.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You're like Cody from Surf's Up.

[Zia Anderson]

I don't think I ever saw Surf's Up.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's a good movie.

[Zia Anderson]

I saw Blue Crush. That was.

[Zach Amico]

Have you seen Air Buddies?

[Zia Anderson]

No.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, is that the puppies?

[Zia Anderson]

The dog one?

[Zach Amico]

It's the last movie in the Air Bud series with Bud and it's called Air Buddy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Bud's only in it for like eight minutes.

[Zia Anderson]

That's the other one.

[Zach Amico]

And it is a Disney production, I believe. And I believe it is the only movie of the series to not have the. No animals were harmed making this film.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, really?

[Zach Amico]

And the Humane Society gave it like a. Like, do not watch. Really? Yeah. What happened?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh my God. Oh, they talk in this one.

[Zia Anderson]

What did they do to the puppies?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Why are they talking?

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, did they talk in the other ones? No, I don't think so.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

What did I teach you pups about teamwork?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh.

[Zia Anderson]

Anybody get a doggy bag?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, that one has makeup under his eye. Mud Buddha.

[Zach Amico]

So this rosebud. So this movie's got a five dog body count on it.

[Zia Anderson]

They killed five dogs.

[Zach Amico]

Five dog body count on it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What did they do? How.

[Zach Amico]

Why 5 puppy body counts on it?

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, that makes it so much worse.

[Zach Amico]

So when the Humane Society went to inspect the movie, the dogs were, I believe, eight weeks old, which means the trainer got them at six weeks. You're not supposed to start working with them till 10 weeks. Okay, so they were all too young. They all were exposed to some type of puppy disease.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, like parvo.

[Shannon]

It's exactly. It's parvovirus.

[Zia Anderson]

Knew it. You can't give them parvo shots before you even let them outside.

[Zach Amico]

Stop production. Get all new dogs. And of those dogs that they all got it.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

And I believe five out of the 30 new dogs died. They euthanized some of the first bunch. And yeah, the. I. I just read this on a Instagram.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I feel like animals should get like a. Like those puppies should have been in the Oscar. Like the In Memoriam as we go on Rosebud.

[Zach Amico]

We remember. Dude, that would make it so much worse, by the way. It would be so insulting to the actors that don't make it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, the ones they go. But got it before me.

[Zach Amico]

But also it would just be so funny to be. To see like an old composer and then like, you know, like Tony Todd. Yeah, I'm gonna be like Sprinkles the dog.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know, now I'm hearing it, I feel like it should come into fruition.

[Zia Anderson]

So we should write some letters. Some strongly worded letters.

[Zach Amico]

They should just have an in memoriam at the Puppy Bowl.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'll. That'll really pick the mood up.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I mean, you can interrupt the all hedgehog halftime show. The hedgehog cheerleader halftime show.

[Zia Anderson]

Do they actually put hedgehogs in like cheerleader outfits?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Thank God cheer. Real cheerleaders don't have spikes on their back.

[Zach Amico]

That looked like you got possessed. What the fuck?

[Brendan Sagalo]

That was painful to say.

[Zach Amico]

It was painful to watch. It was painful to hear.

[Zia Anderson]

I'm done with subscriptions. Streaming, fitness, razors, vitamins. I've got subscriptions for everything in my life. They lock you in and half the time I can't figure out how to unsubscribe. That's why I'm so excited about the new Blue Apron. Now you can get delicious meals delivered with no subscription needed, including new pre made options. Keep the flavor, ditch the subscription. Get 20% off your first two orders with code APRON20. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blueapron.com terms for more.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, did I nail the airbuddy story?

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

What did I miss?

[Shannon]

No, the only thing I'm just confused about is a lot of these articles coming up. We're talking about Snow Buddies.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's what I meant.

[Shannon]

Fuck. So same story though.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, Snow Buddies. Thank you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, Snow Buddies.

[Zach Amico]

The.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The Cuba Good and Junior.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's Snow Dogs.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh my goodness.

[Zach Amico]

Snow Buddies is part of the Air Bud series.

[Zia Anderson]

Okay, so. But that one's okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Air Buddies is okay.

[Zia Anderson]

Snow Buddies is not okay. All right? Not that I was gonna watch any.

[Zach Amico]

Of them, but Snow Bunny is what black guys call Zia. Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, you know what? I only heard about that term semi recently.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Yeah, she's my little snow buddy. Snow bunny. I'm a little snowflake with that face, fat ass, those big fake titties.

[Zia Anderson]

Cuz I'm white.

[Zach Amico]

Snowflake. Yeah, Come on, girl. I like it, man.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Where you going?

[Zia Anderson]

I always know I'm gaining a little too much weight when I get start getting hit on by black guys a lot. It happened a lot when I first moved to la and I was like, cuz again, we don't really have a lot of black people in Hawaii. Honestly, there's like a handful, but. So when I moved to la, I.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Was like, sounds like paradise.

[Zia Anderson]

It was happening. But yeah, anytime I started realizing, I was like, oh, they hit on me when I said it's because they eat them.

[Zach Amico]

It's because they eat them before they grow up from being coconuts.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

That's an old. There's an old street joke. A black kid's going down the street riding his bike, and it pops a tire. And there's a guy driving a. A bowling ball truck, and he sees the kid. The kids like, hey, mister, and get a ride. He goes, yeah, get in the back of the truck. And they're driving down and a redneck sees him and he calls the police. He's like, hey, I just saw a truck full of black people eggs. One of them already hatched and he stole a bike.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I ever heard that one that sounded like.

[Zach Amico]

Made that up.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Just.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah. You could pass it off as your own. I wouldn't know.

[Zach Amico]

No, I've only written one street joke and it is also a black.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's the joke?

[Zach Amico]

Who goes FIFA fo Fum Who? A giant, right?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

A giant who goes FIFA fo foe a black guy giving his phone number.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's great.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's a good one.

[Zach Amico]

I wrote that on spook show.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's really good. That's funny.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's get plugs out of the way. This is the Anderson. What are your people to check out?

[Zia Anderson]

Check out True Dad. It's here on the. On the network. It's. So if you're subscribed to Gas Digital, if you're watching this now, you already can watch it. It's with Naim Ali. And we cover true crime somehow, make it funny. There's always like 10,000 tangents that we go off on. So if you like ADHD brains, Naim is a tangent. You're not wrong. I look like a ghost next to him. It's actually comical. They're like, can we get the blackest guy we know and the whitest girl we know? And let's have them do a show together. But also check out my. My YouTube channel. I'm getting really close to 10, 000 subscribers. So go give it a subscribe. Thank you. Thank you. Been working on it. Zealand Xia L A N D only fans and fansly on both of those. RZ land as well.

[Zach Amico]

So fantastic. Mr. Sagalo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know what it is, Brandon Sagalaw and everything. Sag daddy to pod. If you're interested in podcasts. Plus if you're interested in podcasts, me and one Mike Cannon are doing a new show coming out probably mid November, I have no idea, called Fart Carnival. It's on the Gas Digital network and that's it. And I have like, yeah, just. Yeah, that's it.

[Zia Anderson]

You and Mike Cannon together. Just feels natural. I feel like you guys aren't doing stuff together. It's weird.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know. And we're just gonna be butt the whole time, which is why we had to join gas because it has to be behind a wall.

[Zia Anderson]

Definitely tuning in then.

[Zach Amico]

Well, that's excellent. Hey guys, if you guys want to watch me on the road, go to punch up Live Zach me go follow me on Instagram and Zach is not funny. And if you want to come see some wrestling, I'll be on the road between this Friday the 24th and November 1st with Juggalo Championship Wrestling. Open it up for one Insane Clown Posse. Starting out in LA, going all the way to Detroit for Hallow Wicked. Come hang out. And if you love the show, and we know you do, go to gas digital.com today, the new Gas Digital. And use my promo code, Zoo. You save a little bit of money off your subscription, get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the live chat, you get the archives. That's right, thousands of episodes of all your favorite cast digital shows. And most importantly, you get that Friday bonus episode. That's right. We do three of these a week. And if you want that Friday episode, you gotta subscribe to get the full morning Zoo experience. But regardless, thank you so much for watching the show. All right, let's start out, start out light a little video from One World star Hip Hop dude went to McDonald's and got an order of Egg Mc Snuffin. Let's see it. Shannon.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jesus Christ. Was that.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, Naim's there.

[Brendan Sagalo]

If anyone's there, it's me going, can I have my number nine yet?

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I seriously was in a Wendy's once and the parking lot went on fire.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The parking lot went off.

[Zach Amico]

Somebody there was like, what do they call? There's like grassy like parts like Meridian.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm sorry if I'm Using the wrong word, but medians, whatever they're called, there's like, you know, like things were concrete, but then, like, lawn.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah. Like little squares with grass and a tree.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And one was just, like, high flames.

[Zia Anderson]

So someone obviously set that on fire 100%.

[Zach Amico]

Or somebody who's smoking in their car threw it out the window and drove away. And I'm standing there waiting for my food. Everyone ran out to deal with the fire except me, who stood at the counter like, you know, guys, you're not fighting the fire. You still be making my food.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what. When you want that Wendy's, you want it so bad. There's nothing stopping me from getting that food.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I want it. And I love. I love McDonald's breakfast. So can we watch one more time? What did he throw at them?

[Brendan Sagalo]

It looks like he threw, like, the fried juice.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think so.

[Zia Anderson]

It was a cup of something.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, those are.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That was all the drinks.

[Zia Anderson]

Also, did he look like a sassy gay man?

[Brendan Sagalo]

He was gay. He's gay. Yeah, he's gay.

[Zia Anderson]

He was throwing a bit of a hissy fit there.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God. And he just gets the. Kicked out of him.

[Zach Amico]

I've. I've been so mad. I've never fathomed going behind the counter.

[Brendan Sagalo]

God, no, dude. No.

[Zia Anderson]

I think it's because some people just have a healthy dose of, like, either they've been threatened to beat up, or you've been in a fight before, or, like, you just recognize that there is danger.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And I think there's also just. People can't control their anger. Like, my anger is, like, internal. It's. It's like it builds and it builds and builds inside. And then I take it out on some dog or something.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And no, no, no. My girlfriend.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I cry in an Uber.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. I go and I put on, I'm here without you, baby. And I just look. I put. Place my head up against the window and I listen to stain a single tear down.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's raining. The rain's going down the window.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, I. I'm on the outside.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I just do little. This is how I handle that situation. I huff and I puff.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And I. And then I look. I. Like, I. Literally every time I'm in that situation, I huff and puff. And then they start talking to the other employees and start talking about me. And then I write a little review. And all my reviews. All my reviews start with, I never write a review. But these guys, they were slow and then you look at my page, is like, review 2000. All of them start with that in right. Overview.

[Zach Amico]

I think if you're going to McDonald's and you're expecting everything to go right, that's on you.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And that is the problem with this fucking country. You got to expect good. If you expect bad, you're just. You're letting them win. You're letting the terrorists win. Be like Japan. Get rid of your daughters.

[Zach Amico]

If you're. If you're going. If you're going off hours, you have to expect bad service. If you're going, breakfast, lunch, lunch rush, dinner rush. That's when I think they're putting the strong.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Never expect bad service. You can't expect bad service. Or, okay, I'll expect bad service. You can expect me to not pay an American currency. Okay. Where does it end.

[Zia Anderson]

Where you're coming from, Brendan?

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, I don't check the bag.

[Zach Amico]

Then that's on you. You gotta check the bag.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you do.

[Zach Amico]

Well, you gotta check the bag.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Once I have the bag in my hands, I'm like, I'm sure this has. Because I'll order it without ketchup and stuff. Like, I ordered plain. My meal at McDonald's. If anybody's looking for the Sag Daddy, it is.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, if you had your own custom meal.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, I wish my own custom meal would be them shoving it up my ass. It's two plain cheeseburgers. It's the two plain cheeseburger meal. It's the number nine. You can call the number nine or you can call it the Sag Daddy. They'll know you go, yeah. And if it has ketchup on it, I'm. I. I usually expect them to that up. I'm like, they're. They're not gonna take the ketchup off.

[Zach Amico]

And that's just two.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And the diced onions.

[Zach Amico]

Just two cheeseburgers. That's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's the two cheeseburger meal. Large with a Coke.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's not a. I mean, look, it's not like a. I know we're all exciting. I'm just saying it's not really my meal. But if you want to eat the way I eat, or if you want to more likely avoid the way I.

[Zach Amico]

Eat, then that's not a nug, man.

[Zia Anderson]

I love the nugs. That's my favorite part. Double quarter pounder of cheese and a nugs. And a large fries.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, I'll tell you what, I'm trying to lose weight. I mean, I'm eating a pumpkin. Eating I'm drinking a pumpkin spice latte, but that's okay. But I've. I'm avoiding soda and I'm avoiding this and that. Because you can tell you're getting fat when you order other meals with your meal. And it did. I mean, I was always fat. I wasn't becoming fat, but I could tell I was becoming fat mentality when I would order the number nine, the SAG Daddy. And then you get a ten piece Chicken McNugget after. And then it's like, where does that end? Then I'm getting a Whopper to eat.

[Zach Amico]

Later on, which is a whole other store that's. That's a pain in the ass.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And then I'm getting a fucking.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going to Denny's.

[Zia Anderson]

Effort, a lot of effort. I'm too lazy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. I'm getting a Moons over my Hammy.

[Zach Amico]

Now. Usually for ME It's. It's McDonald's. It's breakfast. But my, my, my lunch or dinner order from McDonald's does include nugs. And I asked for maple syrup.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What? Poured into your mouth?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

While you wait online.

[Zia Anderson]

I could get. I could get behind that.

[Zach Amico]

And what I like to do is. Oh, my God.

[Zia Anderson]

It's like honey with fried chicken.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

Like, well, they also do honey packets.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

But I like that does sound either.

[Zach Amico]

Honey or maple syrup for half of them and then a hot sauce on half of them.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, I've never done that. I always go, so you get a.

[Zach Amico]

Sweet and a hot.

[Zia Anderson]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And I'll get off and I'll order a fucking. I'll have them eat the cheeseburger and then puke it into my bare hands and I'll slurp it off. Don't act like it doesn't sound delicious. It does sound delicious.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm the worst kind of fat guy where I'm trying to separate my. Myself from the community. And I'm like. I'm like one of those black guys that are like, we don't all talk like that.

[Zach Amico]

Wearing a bow tie on tv.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Black Republican.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, exactly. My haircut sucks ass. They always have bad haircuts, those guys. They always, like, let their.

[Zach Amico]

They probably go to a white barber.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. And they're like.

[Zach Amico]

And.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And a white barber. There's no white barber. It's all like Albanians and Russians and like Mexicans.

[Zach Amico]

I went to an old white man barber when I was growing up, but I don't think I've ever been to one in the city.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The old white barbers will touch you. Like, they'll rape you.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Put that on wax.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I went to, I went to the same barber as my dad when I was a kid. He was like an old white guy, like old gray haired white man. But now I go to the Arabs upstairs. Geez Louise, those are my boys, the Arab. They're the best. They're my boys. They call me Mr. Good Neighbor.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I go to the acabs. It's a bunch of lesbians that are shitting on cops while cutting my hair. It's a bunch of lesbians. That's how I get this haircut.

[Zach Amico]

I get my hair cut from the acabs. Yeah, give me the U. Give me that. Yeah, you just close your eyes and point in any direction. Yeah, give me the bat.

[Brendan Sagalo]

But give me a haircut that would look good with plaid underneath it.

[Zach Amico]

Absolutely. And then, by the way, the breakfast order. Bacon, egg and cheese, McGriddle sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, I need it.

[Zach Amico]

And morning time. Diet Coke or a Dr. Pepper if in the morning. Yeah, I don't, I, I prefer, yeah, nighttime Sprite, McDonald's Sprite unfuckable with. Oh my God, it's true.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You can't have a soda in the morning, bro.

[Zach Amico]

Yes you can. You already have a McDonald's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know, that's true.

[Zia Anderson]

It's true. At that point, what's that I used.

[Zach Amico]

To do that's like, I'm gonna shoot myself. What caliber bullet should I use?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Sincerely? That is a question though. Do you want open casket? You want closed casket?

[Zach Amico]

I don't. They're not gonna be able to close the casket. I have McDonald's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You want open trust trough or closed trough?

[Zach Amico]

Open piano box. Which wall of the house would you like them to demolish to get you out?

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's your meal for?

[Zia Anderson]

McDonald's?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, what's your order?

[Zia Anderson]

Almost always double quarter pounder with cheese, 10 piece nuggets, large fries. But, but I only do McDonald's. I do fast food. I, I go hard because I do it like once every year or two. Like at one point I went five years without having, having, having any fast food.

[Shannon]

Fast food.

[Zia Anderson]

And so when I do it, I'm, I'm going big. I'm doing all of it. I'm doing everything I want.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I, I do the same thing with Domino's because I'll never get love. Dominoes. When I do, I go crazy.

[Zia Anderson]

I had the other, actually I had Domino's the other day. They're like, they're like chicken nuggets kinda, but it's like there's like chicken fried breaded chicken pieces. And they come in different sauces.

[Zach Amico]

They're boneless.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, yeah, they're boneless.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Their wings suck ass.

[Zia Anderson]

I don't know about their wings, but those little boneless wings bites are good.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They have the worst wings I've ever tasted.

[Zach Amico]

I don't understand how Domino's becomes more than regular pizza sometimes. Like, money wise.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know. Well, because you're also adding the. The, like, the. Yeah, and all that stuff.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like every. Little lava cakes.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, they got lava crunch cakes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like every time I'm like, oh, wow, that's. That's like they'll, like, put a commercial out for a deal. Eight pizzas for $3.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

And then I get, like, two things that I'm like, they're like, that's $45. Like, fuck, I could have got a good pizza.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

It depends where you live, though. Like, because when I go to Domino's, I know I'm just gonna have trash pizza. And especially because I live where I live has some decent pizza. But it's not like down here. Like, if I live down here, I'd probably never eat Domino's.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that weirds me out when people get, like, Papa John's and shit here.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Domino's is. No, that's experience. Like, if I'm having pizza, I'm usually gonna go somewhere, whatever. But you get Domino's as an experience.

[Zia Anderson]

You get Domino's to go home and be a fat, fat.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Let's, like, watch a movie for.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, for me, it's wrestling. Pay per view. Wrestling pay per view and shitty pizza. That's nostalgia.

[Zia Anderson]

I like football.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's being a good. When we were kids, they had the 555 deal. Oh, I remember. And we used to go to my friend Rob McKelvey's house and everybody had $6. And it would be a dollar tip. And we would each. We would get the 555 deal.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the saddest story I've ever heard in my life. Do you remember when Domino's had cheeseburger pizzas?

[Zach Amico]

No, Shannon, bring it up.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Cheeseburger pizzas. I remember when Saw came out, me and my friends watched Saw and got cheeseburger pizzas, and it was the best.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's way less sad than my. Than my wrestling thing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Your thing was me and my friends could all scrounge together $6 each, and so we got five. Five meal.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we were kids.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And putting it under the pillow and Going tomorrow we're gonna get pizza.

[Zach Amico]

You had, you had walking around money as a kid?

[Zia Anderson]

I did. No, My dad was so with his money that he used to. Because he sold a lot of weed. He used to keep just hundred like wads of hundreds and twenties and fifties in his pockets. And we would do his laundry and so we'd put it over into the dryer. We take it out of the dryer, and it's just crumpled up cash, like full. There'd be like 700 bucks in the dryer. So me and my sister are always just like, oh, yeah, well, much cash.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I would get $20 for the week. Right. And I always ended up spending it on weed.

[Zia Anderson]

Unfortunately, see, I didn't have to spend it on weed either because he also had trash bags full of weed in the closet. It was really best case scenario.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's awesome.

[Zia Anderson]

Hey, my sister is almost out of.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Of.

[Zia Anderson]

Of prison and I will stop doing only fans one day. But today is not that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Now what is the difference between only fans and fansly?

[Zia Anderson]

It's the same and different platforms.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Let me ask you this. Now this is the real hard hitting questions with only fans. Can you see if I sign up with my email, can you see my email and the name and all that?

[Zia Anderson]

No, you can, you can be anonymous.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What I heard. I asked somebody that and they were.

[Zia Anderson]

Like, yeah, I've never seen their email.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Really? You can all be anonymous?

[Zia Anderson]

Looked. Yeah. You can set your username.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Karen was lying to you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, that was Reddit I went to.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, yeah, I don't think so.

[Zach Amico]

Dang.

[Zia Anderson]

I'm pretty sure the only reason I know that my, that my high school music teacher subscribed is because he told me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh.

[Zia Anderson]

And he made it his username.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And I was like, well, you're Hawaiian. High school music.

[Zia Anderson]

He was Chinese, but yeah, wait, he.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Was Chinese in Hawaii.

[Zach Amico]

Username is like his real name. Mr. Fung, your teacher?

[Zia Anderson]

I wish that was that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

No, but it was just his name. It was his full name.

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, gary Fung.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You had a Chinese music teacher? He's like, look at Crash. This next song is.

[Zia Anderson]

Just like that.

[Zach Amico]

All right, all right, Time for Crash.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, you're all playing diggity. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Okay, you all get A's.

[Zach Amico]

One more time from top. All playing it at once.

[Zia Anderson]

I played the gong at the end. I went.

[Zach Amico]

That was every time he was done with a point.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Okay, we're gonna teach music. There's no music because there's no happiness.

[Zach Amico]

Music is math. Math, music. Get good at math, then you do music.

[Brendan Sagalo]

How about this for music? Four plus four is hate.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Gary Fung.

[Brendan Sagalo]

His name is Gary.

[Shannon]

His name.

[Zia Anderson]

But I'm definitely calling.

[Zach Amico]

But that's what I've named him. Gary Fung.

[Zia Anderson]

I think it's even better than his.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And he signed up for your only fans?

[Zia Anderson]

He sure did. And then he was like, it's no big deal. I have a lot of friends who are models. And I was like, I. I mean, this was back before I was doing like. Like explicit content, because I didn't for years. But it would be funny.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Explicit, like.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, like. Like the whole thing. Everything.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

Penetration, all that stuff. I didn't do that for a really, really long.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, things are starting to get hot around here. That's crazy, though. I mean, it's a bit.

[Zia Anderson]

It was a bit.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's crazy for you. But as a teacher, that. I mean, the teachers of the modern era must be like, finally we have something. You know what I mean? We get paid. Like, we have to deal with these shitty kids. We can't even admit when we think one of our classmates is hot. And now we can finally just see them naked.

[Zach Amico]

Do you think there's ever a girl that they're like, I could probably put her on the path to onlyfans.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Start failing her no matter how. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, I don't. I know all about this. My father is the. Is an attorney or whatever. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, sorry. No, no, no. Brown for you, pink for me. Hey, guys, real quick. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created Body Brain Coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and yeah, in the bedroom, too. And it's not just about tea. Body Brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity and mood, thanks to Lion's Mane, Ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters and a crash, Body Brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm and locked in, all while supporting your natural testosterone levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset, and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup, you can save 15% today with the promo code [e-mail]. that's Z O O 15 bodybraincoffee.com powerbraincoffee.com Power your day, feel your drive. Let's get back into the show. All right, moving on. Here we go. DUI suspect gets tangled in barbed wire during chase and pukes on deputy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God. What is this show?

[Zach Amico]

Stop being surprised. What is this horseshit? Now coming here for 10 years, we lost the Puerto Ricans. Same. That's so true.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I am always surprised. Surprised.

[Zia Anderson]

I like how this is also a world star.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, this is cool.

[Zach Amico]

This guy's got some stride on him.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, he runs kind of weird.

[Zach Amico]

It's like Call of Duty. You just see his hands?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Just come with you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's gonna get ticks.

[Zach Amico]

Like Tourette's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What happened to this guy?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, he tried to jump a barbed wire fence. Oh, Legitimate. Oh, sorry. You couldn't have.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm sorry.

[Zia Anderson]

Sorry. You could have told me. That's one way to get the cop pissed off at you.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man, this.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's in the back of the car going, they're gonna be so mad. Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Why would you close the door?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, oh, now it's gonna smell so bad.

[Zach Amico]

Wouldn't you leave the door open for him?

[Zia Anderson]

Be funny if they sent him a bill. Yeah, you would think.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He goes, I swear to God, I'm not fucking drunk.

[Zach Amico]

I just wanna just. I get sick or in cars, officer. I get car sick, you know, in the back of cop carts.

[Brendan Sagalo]

The reason I was swerving is cause there was a bee in my car. The reason I'm puking is because the bee stung my throat.

[Zia Anderson]

I like how drunk Brendan just sounds like Bill Cosby.

[Zach Amico]

There's a reason I.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What an. That sucks, bro.

[Zach Amico]

And he was stuck upside down drunk. That must be such a bad feeling.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

When I got arrested for my dui, I just. I was so drunk that I. I just. They gave me Simon. They gave me some ramen, like a cup of noodle. And they gave me a donut. And I think that helped a little bit. But I didn't even. I was just so happy to pass out.

[Zach Amico]

Can you imagine being a hot girl?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know. And they're like, can we get you anything, hot tits?

[Zia Anderson]

Well, I also. So I worked at. I worked for BJ Penn, which is like. He's huge on the is. He's a legend. And we're from the same hometown, so I Worked there for years. I worked for his family for like seven years. And so most of the cops, like the cop that arrested me was super bummed cuz he's like. Cuz he knew me from the like.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I heard you work for bj.

[Zach Amico]

I need a ramen. Need a ramen. Ramen and a donut. My lady.

[Zia Anderson]

Coincidentally, the little. The little slit that they open to put.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Little slit, yeah, we go. Speaking of, I heard you work for bj. Little slit.

[Zach Amico]

Show me how you suck a guy's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Now show me how you suck it up as his cock.

[Zach Amico]

Have you. Have you ever seen Bad Lieutenant?

[Zia Anderson]

No.

[Zach Amico]

What's the best? Oh, Shannon, please bring up the second guy's cock seated. Bad Lieutenant, dude, badly. Tenant rules. It's just Harvey Keitel being a piece.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Of cop that rules.

[Zach Amico]

There is no set beginning or end. It's just following him. And he's a bad cop. Jesus. He's on blow, gambling. The movie opens with him gambling and doing blow in the police car. And he pulls over and it's so fucking funny, dude. He's a comedy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, no, no.

[Zach Amico]

It's a comedy to me.

[Shannon]

Do you think it could be the you bought dope or the traffic stop?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Scene?

[Zach Amico]

Traffic stop.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Zia Anderson]

When did this movie come out?

[Shannon]

92. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Really? I thought it was from the 70s. I'm hoping I got the right movie for that.

[Shannon]

It's seven minutes long, so tell me if you want me to skip.

[Zach Amico]

Bring it forward a little.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Harvey Keitel is the man.

[Zia Anderson]

He really is not exactly.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Bad girls, huh? You being bad girls?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Is he drunk?

[Zach Amico]

Coming from. Yeah, he's up. He's the guy. He pulled them over. New Jersey. You keep moving.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Any drugs in the car. What you girls doing at the. What was it, the Kit Kat Club? Stone there, huh? Come on.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Jeez Louise, this looks like this is going to make me sad.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Well, you know something to such beautiful girls like you sad. Or a warning. You want a warning?

[Zach Amico]

This is it.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Here's the warning. You do something for me and I'll do something for you. What do you say about that? You do something for me and your father won't find out you took his car. And you drive without a license?

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Huh?

[Zach Amico]

These trash bags.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, you got a bus?

[Zach Amico]

No, you don't.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

I'll tell you something right now. Now listen up to me, okay?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, God.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

I'll take you down to the precinct house and call your father. You hear me? You hear me?

[Zach Amico]

You can't do that.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

What will you do for me if I don't do that.

[Zia Anderson]

Whatever you say.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

You can't call our father.

[Zach Amico]

I love this so much. I'm so happy.

[Zia Anderson]

So infested.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

You ever suck a guy's cock?

[Zach Amico]

Huh?

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Did you? Look at me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

You ever sucker guy's cock? Hey.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yes.

[Zia Anderson]

You ever sucker guy's. Are you serious?

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Did you?

[Zia Anderson]

Did you obviously look at.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Yeah, so don't talk back. Don't talk to me that way.

[Zach Amico]

You hear me?

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Don't talk to me that way. I'm gonna haul your ass right in. You hear me?

[Zach Amico]

Jesus Christ. Sorry. Just let us go.

[Zia Anderson]

We'll get it fixed in the morning.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

I'll let you go. I'll let you go. Turn around. I'm gonna see you around. You mind that.

[Zach Amico]

Just fast forward also. They can see what happens. What happens?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Surely he just lets her off of.

[Shannon]

The warning.

[Zach Amico]

Little boy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Does he like, put his dick in the window?

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Show me how you suck a guy's cock. Show me with your mouth. Show me with your mouth. Come on. Spit that gum out. Give me the gun. Give me the gun. Show me how you suck the. Nice cocktail.

[Zach Amico]

This is hilarious.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Come on, show me. Show me. Show me. Open your mouth. Open your mouth and show me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Christ.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Show me. Open your mouth. Open your mouth, Matson. Show me. Like that. Like that. Come on, you little.

[Zia Anderson]

It's more like she's eating a box.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

Show me, Matson. You close your eyes. Take that dick in your mouth.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Come on.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

That's it. You suck it.

[Zach Amico]

And this car's to going, oh, boy.

[Harvey Keitel (in movie clip)]

You suck it the up. You suck it up. You like sucking cock? Come on, baby. Show me your mouth. Show me that mouth. Show it to me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that's it.

[Zach Amico]

That's it.

[Zia Anderson]

I'd be really bummed if I was in this role.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, you turned on right now.

[Shannon]

I just don't understand how you guys think this is hilarious.

[Zia Anderson]

Poor Shannon.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This happened to Shannon. That's why she doesn't find it funny.

[Shannon]

I don't drive.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you're in the past. The other one. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Showing your ass. Jesus Christ, man.

[Zach Amico]

Don't you love when movies can just be movies?

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's a long shot on him too.

[Zia Anderson]

It is a very long shot on him.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God. Not yet.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Not yet.

[Zach Amico]

That's a long shot.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, that's funny. I didn't even think of that.

[Zach Amico]

He makes faces like Popeye.

[Zia Anderson]

Do you think he had post not clarity in this moment?

[Zach Amico]

He just walks away.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

I gotta get out of here. All right. Maybe it's not as funny to You, Shannon. But I think it's a great performance and a very dark movie and happens to make me giggle.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's the plot of that movie?

[Zach Amico]

That.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's the whole plot.

[Zach Amico]

Badly Tenant.

[Brendan Sagalo]

There's no. What's the story?

[Zach Amico]

He's a bad lieutenant.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's.

[Zach Amico]

Like. He's a badly. Take gambles. He does drugs. He masturbates. His car. He gets. He gets into more trouble.

[Zia Anderson]

Does he die at the end?

[Zach Amico]

Don't think so.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Does he get arrested?

[Zach Amico]

No, it just kind of stops.

[Brendan Sagalo]

We gotta stop this guy.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, there is a sequel.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What?

[Zach Amico]

Badly Tenanted to Port of Call, New Orleans, starring Nicolas Cage.

[Zia Anderson]

Oh, that's even better.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm more of a bad Santa kind of guy because I was in the movie as the little kid.

[Zia Anderson]

Wait, was that. Oh, no. I was like. Wait a second.

[Zach Amico]

My favorite thing is the recurring joke that he loves anal.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, Billy Bob Thornton.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. When he sees the Bigfoot. The big black hooker. Oh, no, not you again. Last time I was you. I ain't shit right for a week. And then when he's fucking the lady in the fucking Jurassic World, he goes, you're not gonna shit right for a week. All right, let's get one or two more things in before we get out of here. Oh, perfect. NYPD detective with history of misconduct busted for flashing firearm at Long island stripper.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, great.

[Zia Anderson]

You know what? That could have been a lot worse. You said flashing, and I expected that to go somewhere else.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know if that was. If it's. That might be worse. This might be worse.

[Zia Anderson]

I'm trying to think about whether I would want what just happens with Harvey Keitel, or if I want someone to flash a weapon at me like a cop. I might go with the weapon.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I think there are guys.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Doing what Harvey Keitel is doing to you right now.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, but I don't. In the chat, I'm not seeing.

[Zach Amico]

Not right now.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm able to do it with my mind. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been doing it since the Wendy's conversation.

[Zach Amico]

I think. I don't know. I guess because I'm not a lady, so I'm not gonna be, like, scared of a guy's dick. Get out of here, you silly goose.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's true.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's just a dick.

[Zia Anderson]

It's true. For men, it's different.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. For me, I think it's a little. Shannon. Give us the story. Do it slow. Put on the sexy music.

[Shannon]

That's this guy. 37 years old, detective in Long Island. He lives close to this strip club. He was at the strip club.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I believe this is Gallagher's.

[Shannon]

I don't know the name of it. It was around 3 o' clock in the morning.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Shannon, I'm gonna need you to drop your attitude.

[Zach Amico]

Is that they used to have the commercial on Comedy Central at like 4 in the morning. Gallagher's 2000.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It was the aliens. I actually think it's in Sunnyside, Queensland.

[Zach Amico]

Aliens?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, it was the aliens. All right, back to attitude cam.

[Shannon]

Do you mean the details of the story?

[Zach Amico]

Yes, please.

[Shannon]

Okay, so he approached. There was a 23 year old stripper who was sitting in her car outside of the place smoking a blunt. And again around 3 o' clock in the morning, he. He went up to her and said, do you know when Bambi is coming out? He then asked her to text Bambi to find out. She refused to help him. And at that point they started to exchange some words.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Like I thought that came out like 1992. Which crack ass.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, did you think Bambi came out in 1992?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know when I came, I was just doing it. When did it come out? In like the 80s, 70s, like 40s or 50s. Bambi.

[Zia Anderson]

I mean I know the Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

I need to know when Bambi came out like 1942. What? 42.

[Brendan Sagalo]

God damn. Yeah. If it was, if it was in 1992, you were off by 50 years. Bambi watches my mother gets shot. Now he's friends with a rabbit. Oh, baby. All right, sorry.

[Zach Amico]

Please Shadow, continue with the story.

[Shannon]

So he pulled up his shirt and showed his gun in his pants and said, have you ever been shot? And she started screaming, get the. Away, get the.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm a 23 year old stripper in Long Island.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Of course I have.

[Zia Anderson]

Imagine being so horny that's. You're willing to shoot a stripper so you can like see your favorite one.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, most serial killers.

[Shannon]

So then after she screamed, she called her boss inside the club asking for help. And then the detective got in the car and drive and drove away.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's poor impulse.

[Shannon]

But it was, it was all on. It was on camera. I don't have the footage, but that's.

[Zach Amico]

How it's literally a badly camera. It's a badly t situation.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's crazy, bro.

[Zia Anderson]

You can't get away with that. Is much these days because everything's on camera.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Everything's on camera.

[Zia Anderson]

Could have filmed it. There's.

[Zach Amico]

That's what Club Soda county would always say when they talk to him on O. Anda about being a cop in, like, the 80s.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he was like, yeah. You know, we didn't have body cams back then, so. Yeah, certain thing, you know.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You're moving a guy from a place to a place. Sometimes he fell down a lot.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, sometime they. They straight up tell stories, like. Yeah. So I got on one knee and started shooting at the car. And they were like. Like, aren't you supposed to not do that? He's like, I was different back then.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn. That's crazy, though, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I think that's the way. I mean, there's got to be a lot of chicks that have sucked a. Sucked a dick or two to get.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Out of a dui, Especially a stripper. Come on.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I mean, that girl was just literally minding her own business, and he came up and bothered her. But, I mean, chicks to get pulled over, right? I feel like we've all heard. I've. I've definitely heard stories of chicks that claimed it happened.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Now you. So you got a dui, right?

[Zach Amico]

We had a donut and a ramen.

[Zia Anderson]

I had a donut and a ramen.

[Brendan Sagalo]

With all of, like, what. You know, how much you paid? Lawyer fees. What the. You had to go through with all that stuff?

[Zia Anderson]

That was a pain in the ass.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Big pain in the ass. Followed you around for how long? Like, couple years, probably. Like.

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, yeah, Just like, paying off. Just go to Canada.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, wow. Can you vote?

[Zia Anderson]

I can vote. My dad can't vote because he's a felon, but I can.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn. So now, please forgive my crude ness with no problem.

[Zach Amico]

There's a no judgment zone.

[Zia Anderson]

I mean, I know where you're going with this, but I'm letting you get there.

[Zach Amico]

Would you. You wish you blow up, please? Please.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Would you blow. Have blown him?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Zia Anderson]

I know that sounds weird because of, like, what I do for work, and it sounds like, oh, you would just.

[Brendan Sagalo]

But even if you didn't do that for work, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

No, no, because it was someone that I knew when I saw regularly. He was an older guy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, really?

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, he, like. He went to the gym that I worked at. Yeah. So he worked out there. And he was like. I said he was super bummed when it was me. Like, the next day, he was like, yeah, man, I was bummed to find out I was arresting you because he.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Knew you didn't want to blow him because you didn't know each other.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon would do it just for a chance to blow cop. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Shannon's swerving.

[Zach Amico]

All over the road, hoping Shannon has empty liquor bottles in the past. I can't get pulled over dead sober.

[Brendan Sagalo]

God damn it. My luck.

[Zach Amico]

Ma', am, do you need help finding the retirement home? Yeah, no, I'm trying to blow a cup. Shannon, I'm kidding, and I love you. I'm just trying to bust your onions, buster.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Onions.

[Zia Anderson]

But, yeah, no, I just. I feel like. And that would probably stick.

[Shannon]

He's making him suck his own.

[Zach Amico]

What were you saying?

[Zia Anderson]

No, I was saying that would, like, stick with me longer, I feel like, than the dui.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zia Anderson]

Because it feels. It feels weird in that way.

[Zach Amico]

How drunk were you during the. Were you drunk enough that you wouldn't have remembered the blowjob?

[Zia Anderson]

No. You know what? And usually I. If I wouldn't remember, then, yeah, probably that would be fine.

[Zach Amico]

There you go.

[Zia Anderson]

I wasn't blackout yet, so he should.

[Zach Amico]

Have gotten you a beer.

[Zia Anderson]

He should have just got to be drunker, and I would have done it. Yeah, that would have been the.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He pulls you over, he's like, you want to get out of here?

[Zach Amico]

Hey, little lady. You look thirsty. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Show me how you suck that dick.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy, bro.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Even that. What about that? What. What if you were like. If he was just like, can I jerk off to you to.

[Zach Amico]

To just you?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Like, not even if you were just, like, 10 and 2, and he was like, can I just jerk off to you and you can get away?

[Zia Anderson]

Yeah, I could. I could live with that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Interesting.

[Zia Anderson]

That's no big deal.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Interesting. That's very interesting.

[Zach Amico]

Who hasn't?

[Zia Anderson]

See, you know, would you let a dude, like, if it was a gay cop, would you let him do that to get out of a dui like, of that situation?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. And then I would film him.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And I would rat him out like, a little. And I would go, now. Now I've got the in my hand.

[Zach Amico]

What if you just jerked off back at him?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, he would like that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. The Star Wars Duel of the Fates is playing. Yeah.

[Shannon]

D.

[Brendan Sagalo]

My. My friend's behind a red wall, and I get C on, and he's like.

[Zach Amico]

And it's just your clothes. Just your clothes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You can come on me now, but I'll come back, way back.

[Zach Amico]

I'll be a come ghost.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'll be a come ghost. Yeah. I'm blue, covered in juice.

[Zach Amico]

I hate this.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I hate this party we're at right now.

[Zach Amico]

All right, one more. Two. One or two more, and we're gonna get out of here. Officials release cause of death for newlywed couple found in car Just days before their anniversary.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, geez.

[Shannon]

So this happened in Illinois. The couple was just parked on the side of the road after they'd gone missing. The girl's 29. The guy is 30, and the cause of death were a gunshot wound. They both had a single gunshot wound to the head. They're investigating it, and they don't know if it's a murder suicide or if it's somebody else. They never actually. They didn't. Never said if there was, like, a gun in the car, if, like, there was broken glass or anything. So, like, they're holding the details kind of close to the vest, but, yeah, they're both murdered with a gunshot wound.

[Zach Amico]

That's not a very. It's a release cause of death. If they had gunshot wounds, I would have assumed that was it. I didn't think they got chilly.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They're like. And then the bullets caused them cancer.

[Zach Amico]

What do we think did it, boys? Probably the bullets in their heads. Hold on. Call Michael Jordan. We just figured out how his dad died.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, that is. That's a sad story, you guys.

[Zia Anderson]

That is sad.

[Zach Amico]

I don't got much more on that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You got anything to lighten the mood up?

[Zach Amico]

I do, and I want to. I want to see if. All right, so we've heard of people having ozempic face.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Apparently there's a new issue. Ozempic vagina.

[Zia Anderson]

The hell is that?

[Zach Amico]

And apparently women. Do you have pictures saying that? Excuse me. Ozempic vulva. That when they've lost the weight, they still have, I guess, a. A Of a fat jolly.

[Zia Anderson]

I'm sorry, you can get a fat from gaining weight. Like, that's their thing. Like, you're. You gain weight in your.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Bunt.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, yeah. You get like, the. I'm sure the. Like, the body part, like, the skin around it gets all.

[Zach Amico]

In my experience, most larger women have.

[Zia Anderson]

Innies because they get so big around it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Like. Yeah, it's like the shrubbery.

[Zia Anderson]

Like, Homer takes out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. For going into the bush. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So. But apparently women are going to go get, I believe, vaginaplasty, Labiaplasty or something like that. Right. Shannon, tell us what I'm speaking out of turn here, Shannon.

[Shannon]

Yeah, so it's a vaginal rejuvenation is what they're getting. And so what they're saying is that they're describing it as sagging skin, weaker muscles, and dryness in the vulvar region. And that's due to the rapid weight loss.

[Zach Amico]

So they lose a lot of Weight and then their pussy. Sagalo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, well, I don't like that one bit. I'm not a big fan of that one. That joke. So just a heads up when we start recording.

[Zach Amico]

Don't say that again.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No more of those.

[Zach Amico]

I've never. I don't try to figure out if I've ever. I've definitely now. Now. Yeah, I have. Nevermind. What I always. Some. I think the one place girls can never lose weight is their brain.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

So there have been times where it's been a tiny or very thin trick hitting on me. And then I'll notice the stretch marks on the arms.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, interesting.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, sweetheart.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Used to be a big.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And you take the lady out of the fat.

[Zach Amico]

Exactly. It's always gonna be in the brain.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think that is also true for fat guys.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So I don't want it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you're always gonna be. No. Even when you get skinny, you're gonna be a fat guy at heart.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You think I'm fat?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, not me fat.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No. Just kidding. No, I don't know. Yeah, that's. That's that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think if you're a guy, you will always have fat brain.

[Zach Amico]

That's fair.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Unless you're like. Because you. Fat brain for guys is like, we're nice.

[Zach Amico]

We're nice and funny.

[Brendan Sagalo]

If you see a very attractive guy who's. Who's nice, you're like, yeah, he's probably a chubby kid.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nice and funny.

[Zach Amico]

No. I feel like that could make him a dick though, too.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Very true.

[Zach Amico]

If he was a chubby kid that he, like, got angry, lost the weight.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And now he's like. And now he sees how different life is. He's like, resentful.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think we're. We're beating around the bush with this conversation. I would like to see some Ozempic pussies.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon.

[Zia Anderson]

I would actually like to see that as well.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Me too.

[Zia Anderson]

I'm very curious, Shan.

[Zach Amico]

It's just a picture of Bob Kelly. He did not take Ozempic. He got. He got. He pooped soup. He got the stomach soup.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He got that poop soup. Oic. That's funny. Now. Now, Shannon, bring up the oic, please.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Shannon]

Trying to find something. I mean, obviously if you search that, that doesn't come up. So I'm trying to find something that will match what you're looking for.

[Zach Amico]

Weight loss. Vagina.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I. I tried that.

[Zach Amico]

Weight loss.

[Zia Anderson]

Putting pictures.

[Shannon]

Now I'm looking up saggy vagina. Try this one maybe.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, saggy vagina is gonna go right to my website.

[Zia Anderson]

Shannon.

[Brendan Sagalo]

God.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Six treatments.

[Zia Anderson]

Wow, that looks really good. Okay, so it's the skin around it. I see.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like if you switch those pictures, it would be this. It would just be an ad for a black guy in only six treatments. Oh, my God.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's so funny.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we're gonna call it there. Thank you guys so much. Much. Please support my guests. Brendan Sagalo. Listen to Sag Daddy Depot. Check out Fart Carnival when it premieres here on the network. Go see him live. He's incredibly funny. Please listen to True Dat with Zia Anderson. Watch your streams, tug your pud to her pictures, but pay for him. Don't be like me. And thank you so much for listening. If you're subscribed, we'll be back this Friday. And big shout out. Thank you to Shannon and Jorge in the booth for helping me get all these pre records done before my tour. You guys really work hard and I love you very much and I appreciate you. Thank you. Bye.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Bye.

[Zach Amico]

Go chug it down just like the favorite ob. Smile, grab a coffee and join the crew. It's me. Go. Morning, too. It's Acamiko. Morning. Two.