0057. Chloe LaBranche and Derek Drescher

Summary

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Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 57

Guests: Chloe LaBranche, Derek Drescher
Date: October 31, 2025
Network: GaS Digital
Summary by Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

This chaotic, comedic morning show—hosted by Zac Amico—dives into nicotine addiction, mental health, wild drug stories, junk food, serial killers, and the quirks of pets and people in NYC. Joined by comics Chloe LaBranche and Derek Drescher, Zac and company riff with unfiltered candor on bodily misadventures, true crime, and pop culture, blending dark comedy with personal vulnerabilities. The trio’s banter veers between the grotesque, hilarious, and unexpectedly insightful.

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1. Nicotine, Pills, and Self-Control

00:48 – 14:04

• Zac enthusiastically welcomes guests, joking about Chloe’s “femininity” and unique voice.

  • “She looks like she would reach in her trench... and it’s just like a roll of quarters, a frog, those chattering teeth.” — Zac (01:46)

• Conversation jumps into quitting nicotine (Zyn, snus, vapes, cigarettes), relapse, and resultant overeating.

• Chloe describes severe lung problems after returning to heavy smoking—urgent care visits and testing reveal early COPD signs.

  • “My lungs were a 79-year-old and they said like I could get early onset COPD.” — Chloe (04:24)

• Derek and Zac riff on the grossness of dipping and disposal habits, with Chloe battling disgust at ex’s table etiquette:

  • “The last guy I dated... he would take his Zyn out and put it on the plate next to his food...” — Chloe (05:41)
  • “He sounds poor, I gotta say.” — Zac (05:54)

• All chime in on sleep struggles, therapy, and the delicate scheduling required to avoid napping (07:30).

• Chloe details challenges with multiple medications: Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Sertraline, epilepsy meds. Zac recalls being sweaty on Zoloft.

Notable Quote

“No, my business. Amico’s on that. I am on Sertraline, which is bootleg Zoloft… I’m committed to a full year of nicotine free…” — Zac (03:02)

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2. Addiction, Xanax, and Absurd Drug Stories

10:31 – 14:01

• Chloe opens up about panic attacks, Xanax, temptation as an addict – and sheepishly admits to chewing pills so they hit faster.

• Zac shares having “boofed” (rectally inserted) a Zyn after hearing about kids putting them in their butts or foreskins:

  • “I read an article that said kids are putting Zyns in their ass or in their foreskin… I don’t have foreskin… so I put a Zyn up my butt.” — Zac (11:01, 11:13, 11:18)

• Shannon researches negative effects of “boofing Zyns” (rectal damage, burning, nicotine poisoning). Zac shrugs off the dangers.

• Group reminisces about pill culture (names like “bars,” “footballs,” old painkillers), reflecting on luck of getting sick from opiates and avoiding addiction.

Notable Quote

“Are you going to do it again?” — Chloe
“Maybe in January… when I’m back.” — Zac (11:19-11:23)

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3. Food Addictions, Fast Food Scams, and Office Snacks

16:04 – 25:03

• Zac describes Sweden’s strong snus vs US versions and controlled pasteurization. Derek admires European beer strength.
• Shocking revelations about McDonald’s fries—pesticide use so toxic farmers avoid the fields for days.
  • “They have to use a very specific pesticide for the McDonald’s potatoes that’s so toxic… the farmers can’t go out in the field for three days.” — Zac (17:17)
• Everyone confesses to falling for fast food app deals (BOGO deals), massive KFC and McDonald’s meals as “unbeatable” offers.
• Memories of food hoarding at GaS Digital’s office—Slim Jims, cheese, Red Bulls—highlight shared scavenger mentality.
• Commentary on Kratom addiction, dangerous “Feel Free” beverage, and necessity for proper labeling to avoid inadvertent overdose.

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4. Bizarre Tastes & International Food

21:27 – 23:13

• Zac recounts receiving Icelandic “treats” from a friend—fish skins and black licorice with chocolate—that stank up his apartment and became office curiosities.
• The odd communal culture of office snacks: they'll get devoured no matter what, even with a warning label.

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5. Drugs, Kratom, GHB, and Substance Use

26:16 – 29:32

• Flow into Kratom stories, the rise of “Feel Free” drink, people needing medical detox.
• Reminiscing on liquid GHB being sold at GNC; stories of pro wrestlers (notably William Regal) abusing it.
• Black humor around “date rape drugs” and responsibility: “Wrestlers were fucked up on that… fell asleep on Vince McMahon’s desk during his job interview.” — Zac (28:49)

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6. Sexual Safety, Nightlife, and Drag Queen Vigilantes

29:32 – 36:40

• Zac tells of a woman at a bar who repeatedly has the bartender hide her drink for fear of being roofied, even while willingly chatting.

  • “After the fourth time… I was like, Lady, if you really think I’m gonna rape you, go tell me.” — Zac (33:01)

• Chloe admits as an alcoholic, she’d never leave a drink unattended—she'll bring it to the bathroom.

  • Story segues into gay bar safety: young man roofied by an older man, only to be rescued and avenged by a “gang of drag queens.”
  • “A bunch of drag queens... came and beat the fucking shit out of the dude.” — Zac (34:26)

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7. The Lawless World of Gay Bars & Relationship Norms

36:40 – 38:10

• Chloe observes (half in jest) that queer spaces seem “lawless”—from U-Haul lesbian relationships to best-friends-with-exes, to casual sex being common.

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8. Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr., and Tabloid Stardom

37:14 – 39:11

• Dissection of Charlie Sheen’s wild public career, “born to be a star” despite (or because of) scandal.
  • “He smoked crack, quit the biggest show on TV, and then went after the Jews. I got another TV show.” — Zac (37:43)
• Discussion on Sheen’s sexual exploits, bisexual rumors, and comparison to Downey Jr.

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9. Child Star Exploitation Allegations (Content Warning)

39:25 – 42:04

• Serious turn as the group discusses Corey Feldman’s claims that Charlie Sheen molested Corey Haim on the set of Lucas, with details like use of Crisco.

  • “And for people who don’t know, Crisco is who sang the Thong Song.” — Zac (40:00, dark humor)

• The group attempts to clarify which of the “Coreys” are alive and whether Shannon can fact-check the claims.

Notable/Uncomfortable Moment

“He them in the ass using Crisco—that would be the name of the doc—between two trailers.” — Zac (39:46)

• Chloe jokes about the “lookalike” comparisons she’s gotten to Corey Feldman, laughing at persistent podcast gags.

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10. Degenerate Eating Habits & Bacon Grease

42:08 – 44:54

• Extended riff on “Bacon Up,” a 3-gallon tub of bacon grease sold in Texas, and the logistical and sanitary horrors of storing/finding room for it.
  • “Who has room in their fridge for a 3-gallon bucket of bacon grease?” — Zac (43:06)
• Derek admits to saving bacon fat in a jar at home until pests got into their kitchen.
• Chloe suggests putting a vat of bacon grease in the office as an “experiment.”

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11. NYC Animal Issues & ‘Cat Politics’

46:03 – 51:01

• Curtis Sliwa’s proposal to fight NYC rats with feral cats is discussed—also, Sliwa's reputation for loving cats and Trump’s jab at his “cat obsession.”

• Group debates whether it’s weirder to dislike animals or to like them “too much.”

  • “If you don’t like animals…it’s serial killer something…” — Chloe (49:15)

• Fun debate: are cat people or dog people “better”? Zac compares dogs to “having a retarded brother,” poking fun at the affections of pets.

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12. Culture Clashes: Dogs in Religious/Immigrant Communities

51:01 – 54:28

• Zac questions if it’s suspicious not to have a dog as president, referencing Trump; Shannon confirms he was the first president in ages without a dog.

• Dive into Muslim/Hindu taboos around dogs, with Zac admitting his “algorithm” showed him possibly racist content of reactions to dogs in Muslim neighborhoods.

  • “I guess I just watched a racist thing. So it was my algorithm.” — Zac (53:12)

• Playful argument about the adage, “Never trust a man who doesn’t like dogs or doesn’t drink”—debating its accuracy.

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13. True Crime: Staten Island Teen & Criminal Infamy

55:20 – 64:40

• News segment: Staten Island teen beheads his mom’s boyfriend and puts his brains in the blender. Details reveal deep mental illness, medication mismanagement, and a gruesome scene.

• Discussion swings into true crime fandom, Netflix’s tendency to glamorize serial killers, and which murderers became the templates for pop culture:

  • Ed Gein (Psycho, Texas Chainsaw, Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs)
  • Ed Kemper (Mindhunter, infamous for talking his way out of asylums)
  • The perverse “sexification” of real monsters in modern adaptations.

• Memorable Rant:

  • “Having Ted Bundy—a little fucking creepy Peanut man—be played by that hunk. It’s just fucking sensationalism.” — Zac (60:39)

• They agree old movies were better because heroes and villains were clear; now, villainous characters are given too much empathy by writers.

• Funny conclusion: Fat girls who love true crime tend to be the most excited and often host murder podcasts.

  • “Sometimes you tune into a podcast and you can hear how fat the girl is based on how excited she is to talk about murder.” — Zac (64:39)

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14. Wrap-Up & Plugs

65:03 – End

• Quick plugs from all guests (e.g., Chloe’s upcoming live News for Women, Derek’s On the Gate Podcast, Zac’s tour with Insane Clown Posse).
  • Zac thanks everyone for engaging in Morning Zoo’s ridiculous ride.

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The Episode in Notable Quotes

• “Every time you go to the doctor, there's gonna be another thing… You're like a foster cat.” — Zac to Chloe (09:40)
• “You could put a Ziplock bag of shit in a cabinet here, someone will eat it…” — Zac (23:12)
• “I feel like here it's like the pesticides and all that… is what gets us.” — Derek (16:45)
• “Things literally fall into his lap.”— Chloe, on Charlie Sheen (38:36)
• “He was grave robbing. The two ladies he did kill, yes, he did dress them like deer and then use the parts for stuff in the house. My favorite Ed Gein thing is that he had a shoebox full of vaginas under his bed.” — Zac (62:30)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Topic/Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Nicotine, Zyn, and quitting | 00:48–04:53 | | Pills, mental health, medication humor | 03:00–09:00 | | Xanax/Pill chewing & “boofing” | 10:31–14:04 | | Food, Fast Food, Office snack stories | 16:04–26:15 | | Drug culture: GHB, Kratom | 26:16–29:32 | | Sexual safety/nightlife, drag queen justice | 29:32–36:40 | | Gay bars “lawlessness”; relationships | 36:40–38:10 | | Charlie Sheen & pop culture | 37:14–39:11 | | Child star abuse allegations | 39:25–42:04 | | Bacon fat, degenerate eating | 42:08–44:54 | | NYC animals, Sliwa’s cats, pet culture | 46:03–51:01 | | Culture clash: dogs & religion | 51:01–54:28 | | Staten Island beheading; true crime glamorization| 55:20–64:40 | | Plugs, round-up, closing | 65:03–End |

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Tone & Style

True to the “Morning Zoo” spirit, the roundtable is a mix of dark comedy, gross-out humor, addict wisdom, and New York attitude. Zac leads with irreverence, Chloe brings undiluted confession, and Derek deadpans through madness. Underneath, there’s real vulnerability about addiction, health, and how comedy becomes catharsis.

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For New Listeners

This Morning Zoo episode captures the show’s essence: unfiltered camaraderie, taboo-smashing honesty, and stark but hilarious observations about life’s messiest corners. Expect nothing safe for work, but plenty of unexpected empathy and insight between the raucous laughter.

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Transcript

[Shannon]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Gas Digital Network Announcer]

Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laugh is waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre you It's a morning suit.

[Zach Amico]

Hi, it's Monday. It's your other boy. The international superstar Zach Amica, welcoming you to another edition of the Morning Zoo here on the Gas Digital Network. Thank you so much for watching, for tuning in. I hope everybody's doing absolutely great. I know I am. Cause across the table from me are two very, very funny people from the on the Gate podcast, it is our good friend, Derek Drescher. How you doing, dog?

[Derek Drescher]

Good. Thank you for having me, brother.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you very much for being here. And next to him, I mean, the picture of femininity, a girl in a foreigner shirt, zinning. I mean, what I think of a delicate flower of a woman. It is our friend. Back in New York City, back in the New York Groove, some would say from News for women, Chloe LeBron.

[Chloe Labranche]

You once told me that I sound like I have frogs in my pocket.

[Derek Drescher]

Yes, she sounds and looks like that.

[Zach Amico]

True, right? Like, she looks like she would reach in her. Like. Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

In my trench. I have right now.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Like, if a girl is like, do you have a tampon? She's like, hold on, let me look. And it's just like a roll of quarters, a frog, those chattering teeth that you wind up. I'm such. I'm debating going back on. Yeah, I gave. I have. I went cold turkey January 1st.

[Chloe Labranche]

Really good for you.

[Zach Amico]

And I miss it so much.

[Chloe Labranche]

What were you doing? That's hot of me.

[Zach Amico]

No, don't worry about it. I started with general snus. That was my favorite.

[Chloe Labranche]

That was. I remember that from high school.

[Zach Amico]

And then I went. I was Zen and rogue was my other one. But I miss it. I really miss it. And I feel like my idea was, all right, I'm gonna quit that first. Then I'm gonna work on boozing, then I'm gonna work on eating. But all I did was eat more. Eat more.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, that's what happens when you stop nicotine. You get hungry as fuck.

[Zach Amico]

And. Yeah, I gotta. And then there'll be times I didn't eat because I had a Zen in.

[Chloe Labranche]

You know, I. I know I get annoyed when I. Sometimes I don't want to eat because it means I have to take my Zen out. Yeah, like, I'm like, fuck, I have to eat, but I wanna take my Zen out. You know what? You could go on that my doctor gave me to quit smoking as Wellbutrin.

[Zach Amico]

Already on it.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, you are.

[Shannon]

Okay, yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

You could get right through.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, my business. Amico's on that. I am on Sertraline, which is bootleg Zoloft. I think I want to. I want to do the full year. I'm committed to a full year of nicotine free right after that, I might dabble. It's just so.

[Chloe Labranche]

It's not a dabbling game. I'm sorry.

[Derek Drescher]

I wonder what the studies are if as long as you're not smoke, I know the vape's got to horrible for you. Cigarettes are horrible for you. We know that. I now I wonder how bad the zins are for you though. Is it still mouth cancer? Like regular chew.

[Chloe Labranche]

It's like chemicals, so. But you, it's not as bad so for like your lungs. Because I like, two weeks ago I woke up and I like could not breathe. I couldn't walk like more than 15ft. So I went to the urgent care. They gave me like an inhaler and.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, is that now not how you're supposed to feel all the time?

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I'm in trouble.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah. And then it happened again. Like they put me on steroids and then like it started when those ended, I was like walking to a show and.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, you sound horrible right now, actually.

[Chloe Labranche]

Really, I could not breathe and I like almost fell. So they. I got sent to the er. Then I went.

[Derek Drescher]

We had pneumonia.

[Chloe Labranche]

They said I had like. First I had a lung infection and then my breathing tubes were all swollen. So that's why I couldn't get air in because I quit smoking for eight months. And then I started smoking like two packs a day when I got back and I went to my regular doctor and they gave me like those breathing tests out of the tubes and I. My lungs were a 79 year old and they said like I could get early onset copd. So now I had to go get CAT scans next week. And he said, he's like, you can Zen, but you can't smoke cigarettes. And then I kept smoking and trying.

[Derek Drescher]

Are you getting short of breath as you right now, as you're talking, I.

[Chloe Labranche]

Could kind of hear always getting short of breath. Damn, Chloe, inhalers. This is my regular one for when I get tired.

[Derek Drescher]

Now. Now I'm even more worried about you. Shit.

[Zach Amico]

I really. I Think the one thing I have to avoid if I go back is Mrs. Amico would get very upset because I would take my rogue out and just put it on my dresser and she would just see like a pile of them after a while and she would get so pissed at me.

[Chloe Labranche]

Disgusting.

[Zach Amico]

I know. I used to dip, though, so I feel like this is so much less gross, right?

[Derek Drescher]

Well, dude, even when I dip, this is gonna sound horrible. And I'm gonna say pause before I say, but I used to swallow.

[Zach Amico]

That's fine.

[Derek Drescher]

The juices.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, that's what some people do. Accident was in sometimes. And that's why I know people who's in so much that they keep cough drops, like those really intense ones that like numb your throats. The zinning. But I. I know what your wife is saying, because it's disgusting.

[Zach Amico]

No, it is.

[Chloe Labranche]

The last guy I dated, we would go to a restaurant, he would take his zin out and put it on the plate next to his food. And I'd be like, all right, this is disgusting. And I'd be like, why are you doing that? He's like, I might put it back in. I'm like, put a new one.

[Zach Amico]

He sounds poor, I gotta say. With that.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yes, you've done that.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, that's what the fucking thing in the top is for.

[Chloe Labranche]

That's the European ones. But who puts it on your dinner plate?

[Zach Amico]

No, never.

[Chloe Labranche]

That's insane, right? That was the biggest.

[Zach Amico]

If you don't have that.

[Chloe Labranche]

Such a turn off to me.

[Zach Amico]

If you don't have the thing where you can just throw it behind you. Put it in a napkin.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, put it in your goddamn pocket. Anything on the dinner plate. I was like, I'm gonna.

[Derek Drescher]

Where would you be out to dinner, though?

[Chloe Labranche]

It's happened last time at Veselka, which is like a sit down place. It happened.

[Derek Drescher]

It's a fucking glorified diner. I don't want to fuck it. It's not a nice.

[Chloe Labranche]

I like Velselka. It's happened at like a fancy restaurant before too. And I'm just like, if anything has a white, you know, napkins. Yeah, cloth. You don't put your zen on the plate, right? No, you never should because I have to look at it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I agree with that. God, I just still want one so bad.

[Chloe Labranche]

Don't do it.

[Derek Drescher]

I won't give you one.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, no, no. I'm. I'm 100 committed that I'm going the full year.

[Derek Drescher]

You look. You look good, buddy. Your skin looks great. Did you get A good night's sleep last night?

[Zach Amico]

No, I did Legion of skanks last night. I didn't go to bed till like four in the morning.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, did you sleep till noon at least?

[Zach Amico]

No, I was here. I got up at 9:30.

[Chloe Labranche]

Wow, you're good at not sleeping. You're just used to it.

[Zach Amico]

I sleep in shifts, like a cat. If I go to bed for like a regular eight hours of sleep, it ain't happening. I'm gonna wake up and be up and around for a few hours, go back to sleep. If I sleep for like a couple hours here and then I sleep for a couple hours later, I'll be much better off.

[Derek Drescher]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

I take little cat naps. I curl up on the cat. Derek. Seen many a time where I'm. I sleep on the couch of the other room quite a bit.

[Derek Drescher]

I'm not allowed to nap right now for like the next more couple weeks. Why? Because I'm just sleep therapy program I'm doing. So it's, I'm only allowed. I have a window. I could sleep and no matter what I need to be the latest I can get out of bed. Is 5:45am the latest?

[Zach Amico]

The latest.

[Chloe Labranche]

And then what time you're supposed to go to sleep by?

[Derek Drescher]

I cannot go to sleep before 9:45.

[Unidentified Guest]

Huh?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, I, I somehow this is going to make me sleep more efficiently.

[Zach Amico]

It's getting you on a schedule.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that I can't nap during the day is. That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I tried to go to bed last night when I got in, I think I got in at midnight and I was tired, but I realized it was one of those things where I was gonna go to sleep and like an hour later wake up and be jacked and hungry. So I was like, let me fucking. I had a black bean burrito.

[Derek Drescher]

Let me eat now.

[Zach Amico]

Let me have like. Well, let me have some black beans. Fucking watch a little wrestling, then go to bed around three or four and that. Yeah. And then I woke up right in time to come here.

[Chloe Labranche]

Do you ever, have you ever taken your Zola ice fix all off? Do you ever take it on MP stomach when I did that makes me feel really sick. What?

[Zach Amico]

No. Zoloft.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, Zola.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I take it every morning before you eat.

[Chloe Labranche]

You don't notice.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it doesn't, doesn't really bother. I was weird on it the first couple weeks. I was a Sweaty Betty.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Did you feel like you were like watching yourself live your life?

[Zach Amico]

No, I just felt hot. I was sweating my And I. My doctor told me that might happen. Yeah, I was just sweating my balls off.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, I'm just. I'm so sick of pills. I should love them because I'm an addict.

[Derek Drescher]

As I take some.

[Chloe Labranche]

But no, because I have. I have epilepsy, you know, so I have to take my seizure medicine twice a day.

[Zach Amico]

Is there anything right with you?

[Chloe Labranche]

No.

[Derek Drescher]

Chloe, you. You. But you need to take care of your lungs. If you get copd, you know how hard it's going to be for you to tell joke? It's going to be even harder now.

[Chloe Labranche]

Well, you can control it.

[Derek Drescher]

What, with breath control?

[Chloe Labranche]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

You're like a foster cat. What?

[Derek Drescher]

She is.

[Zach Amico]

Every time. Every time you go to the doctor, there's gonna be another thing.

[Derek Drescher]

Our black and white. That's Chloe over.

[Chloe Labranche]

I'm sober, so things should be getting better.

[Zach Amico]

Should be? Yeah. Well, should is the operating term there.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. Up here, you're getting better. The thing that jacked you up was the smoking. Once you quit and then you went back, you were trying to make up for every cigarette you missed.

[Chloe Labranche]

So it was a lot.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, 40. 40 cigarettes a day is a lot of cigarettes.

[Chloe Labranche]

And then I started. And then I started. When I stopped being able to breathe, I would start getting panicked because I couldn't breathe. And I go into full panic attacks. And then I would fully stop breathing. So my doctor was like, you have to take Xanax for that. And I was like, I can't take that. I'm an addict. And he was like, if it's prescribed, if you can't breathe, it's a lot worse. And I was like, here we go again. But I didn't abuse it.

[Zach Amico]

Good for you.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, pretty good. I usually would be. Okay, never mind. I'm not gonna say something.

[Derek Drescher]

Sniffing it.

[Chloe Labranche]

I did chew it because it hits your bloodstream faster.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, I know a lot of people that shoot.

[Chloe Labranche]

I don't chew Tylenol. I'm not a loser.

[Derek Drescher]

If you got like a toothache or something.

[Chloe Labranche]

I chew. I used to. Yeah, because in college when I was, like, taking a lot of Xanax, I would chew them. Yeah, because you ever chew a pill? Yeah, I guess.

[Derek Drescher]

Chewed him. He's boofed.

[Zach Amico]

Him. Right before I quit zenning, I. I boofed one to try it.

[Derek Drescher]

How was it?

[Chloe Labranche]

Are you serious?

[Zach Amico]

I read article that said kids are putting zins in their ass or in their foreskin.

[Derek Drescher]

I heard about that.

[Zach Amico]

And I don't have foreskin.

[Derek Drescher]

Neither do I.

[Chloe Labranche]

Should have mixed it with a Tide Pod.

[Zach Amico]

So I. Yeah, it was like late at night, and I was like, well, that's funny. I gotta try that. So I put a zin up my butt.

[Chloe Labranche]

How'd it go?

[Derek Drescher]

Did it make your booty hole numb?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Are you gonna do it again?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, maybe. Maybe in January. Maybe in January when I'm back.

[Chloe Labranche]

Maybe. That doesn't count as cheating.

[Zach Amico]

No, it does. Trust me. I've had this discussion with my wife. Things going in my butt does count as cheating.

[Derek Drescher]

I feel like it's in. You can just leave that up there till you got to go.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just hang out up there.

[Derek Drescher]

I'm going to give it a shot.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, can you Google the adverse effects of Zins in the butt? It was.

[Derek Drescher]

She's like. She's like, copd.

[Chloe Labranche]

Look at scared.

[Zach Amico]

I have not done Xanax in a long time. The last time I think I remember Xanax being around is when it was still easy to get the bars I loved.

[Chloe Labranche]

And you remember the green ones, The Hulk?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, yeah, those were cool. And then the little ones were the footballs.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, that's what happened.

[Shannon]

My.

[Chloe Labranche]

When my doctor gave them to me, I was. I was like, oh, nice footballs. And he goes, don't call them that. He's like, chloe, just don't do that. Right.

[Derek Drescher]

Imagine he went like this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I remember. The bars were excellent. Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

The green ones, the Hulks. Those you up?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah. Rip. I was having seizures.

[Derek Drescher]

I missed. It's not that I miss the old pills, but I remember I used to do lower tabs. They look like. We called them certs because they had blue speckles in them. And then the rocks. Assets. We call them like blueberries or blues.

[Chloe Labranche]

I'm lucky because every time I tried to do any sort of painkillers, I'd get real sick. Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

I always said, lucky ones. God bless the people that would, like, do opiates and, like, puke right away because they were like, fuck this. I don't want to do this anymore.

[Shannon]

I have some. Sorry to cut you off. I have some. The negative side effects of boofing sins.

[Derek Drescher]

Sure.

[Zach Amico]

I bet it's real bad.

[Shannon]

So these are the immediate local effects. Severe cancer, severe burning pain, irritation, chemical burns or ulceration, inflammation or infection. Rectangle.

[Zach Amico]

By the way, that's.

[Derek Drescher]

That's my life.

[Zach Amico]

That's a Tuesday.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, we're all. We all have infections. All three of us.

[Chloe Labranche]

Wait, Shannon, can you look up the negative effects of just zinning?

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

After this.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

[Shannon]

Oh, I thought we finished mid sentence. Rectal bleeding or mucosal damage. And then the systemic whole body effects. Nicotine toxicity, overdose, which nausea, vomiting, dizziness, sweating, blah, blah, blah.

[Zach Amico]

That's if you put a bunch in there, right?

[Shannon]

It doesn't say the amount. And then also a nicotine poisoning, I guess, because you can't like. Like, what if it gets stuck or you can't manage how much you're, like, sucking out of it now?

[Derek Drescher]

There's a lot more ways for it to get into your bloodstream down there. I think it just hits harder. Your body absorbs it quicker than your mouth, I think.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, whatever. I mean, it's just one. I mean, I wouldn't put the pack up there.

[Derek Drescher]

Hell no. No, right.

[Zach Amico]

If I did, I would take it out of the plastic.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.

[Zach Amico]

I have no. Yeah, come on.

[Derek Drescher]

Did you get cold?

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, I'm always cold.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, Zoo files. Are you sick of edibles that taste like lawn clippings and hit like chamomile tea? Well, IndeCloud makes THC that's legal, delicious, and actually does its job. Are you looking for better sleep? They've got a Gummy for that. Want a light social buzz? In the Cloud has got you covered easy. In the Cloud sent me a package of these to try and I will tell you the 20 milligram. The soda ones, absolutely awesome. Kept me nice and feeling good all night. Usually I take 30 or 40 milligrams. The 20 for me was perfect. They also have a sleep gummy that's just 5 milligrams of CBD, I believe. And it really, really hit perfect. They also have pre rolls that I'm going to be smoking this evening. And next time I talk to you about in the Cloud, we'll try those with flour for $70 per ounce. Whatever the vibe. In the Cloud's got a match that's tested, trusted and delivered right to your door. So if you're 21 years or older, grab 30% off your first order plus free shipping with my code [e-mail]. that's Inda C L O U D, Code Z o O for 30% off and free shipping. And snacks suddenly taste like an adult Michelin star meal. Fill out their quick survey when you order to support the show. Then go finish that episode, that game, or that snack you started. Enjoy responsibly. And thanks to in the Cloud for sponsoring today's show. Let's get back into it, huh? I do. Did you ever try dip from like, the real ones from Like Sweden. The ones that are like fucking knock it smell like ammonia when you open it up.

[Derek Drescher]

Never got to.

[Zach Amico]

People sent me them from Sweden. Yeah, and they were fucking strong knock.

[Derek Drescher]

John your ass type shit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like, like the kind of dizzy you were the first time you tried like dip.

[Derek Drescher]

And they're just doing it every day.

[Zach Amico]

And they're just fucking cranking them.

[Derek Drescher]

Well, their beers are like 8% alcohol too. Like some of the beers there are black. Like this fucking microphone. Ever see that?

[Zach Amico]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

I guess everything is just stronger over there.

[Zach Amico]

Well, because the reason I like general snus is because in Sweden everybody uses it and it's under the fda, so it's regulated and it's pasteurized so it's a lot less bad for you. That's back out here because it has to be approved by their Food and Drug administration.

[Derek Drescher]

I feel like here it's like the pesticides and all that and the chemicals and all that is what gets us.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. I was watching a thing about the, the evils of McDonald's. It just made me want McGriddles. But it was talking about how they use a specific type of potato for their fries because they want long fries and they can only grow those potatoes in certain places and they have to be unblemished.

[Derek Drescher]

So they can't have any.

[Zach Amico]

Like you can't have any.

[Derek Drescher]

Little holes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, little holes. So they have to use a very specific pesticide for the McDonald's potatoes that's so toxic that after they spray it, the farmers can't go out in the field for three days.

[Chloe Labranche]

Wow.

[Derek Drescher]

You just eat it. I had some yesterday.

[Chloe Labranche]

McDonald's. I don't go to McDonald's.

[Derek Drescher]

I ordered McDonald's yesterday. So they hit, they got me, they, they sent me a notification saying big Macs for $3 with any purchase. So then I bought a quarter quarter pounder, which.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Derek Drescher]

Meal. And then I got the big Max.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Grubhub will send me like the bogo on something and I'm like that's a great deal.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, like I can't beat this. It's like a $7.99 sandwich and they're giving it to me.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, the other day it was a 10 piece chicken nugget meal.

[Derek Drescher]

For how much was it?

[Zach Amico]

Like for free with a $15 purchase.

[Derek Drescher]

A whole meal?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, free with a $15 purchase. They got me. I, I had to be a good boy. This morning I got a KFC, sent one in Grubhub. That was buy one, get one full three piece meal for 12 bucks.

[Derek Drescher]

Jesus.

[Zach Amico]

Two sides drink three pieces of chicken and a biscuit.

[Derek Drescher]

I'm getting itchy.

[Zach Amico]

I know, right?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Chan, what are the adverse effects of Zening?

[Shannon]

So aside from obviously highly addictive, also cardiovascular issues, nicotine raises heart rate and blood pressure, oral health problems, gun, gum, irritation, inflammation, sores, dry mouth, potential gum disease, hazardous ingredients. It says they have cancer causing chemicals, toxic heavy metals like lead, chromium and other harmful substances, gastrointestinal, intestinal issues, stomach pain and nausea. And then they don't know about the long term side effects.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I mean, that's not what's gonna get me.

[Derek Drescher]

No, no.

[Zach Amico]

What I miss is nicotine and caffeine combined.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That morning shot, the morning, the iced coffee with cigarette, the rogue.

[Derek Drescher]

And then you take a nice shit and that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude, I felt. Some mornings I feel like I'm like a grain of rice at a time. I need, I need, I. I need my body regulated.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I need that shotgun blast dump.

[Derek Drescher]

That's what I do. Stick one in, get the coffee ready.

[Zach Amico]

Stick one in, then have a Zen.

[Derek Drescher]

Yep, shoot that, take a hit of the vape and within five minutes I'm on the bowl.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Oh, it's beautiful.

[Derek Drescher]

You know, pulling the hatch on my guts.

[Chloe Labranche]

So you vape with the Zen in your mouth?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, right now. How.

[Chloe Labranche]

What milligrams are you vaping? I mean, are you, are you nine?

[Derek Drescher]

Nine? If they had 12s, I would have got 12.

[Chloe Labranche]

I was talking to this kid and he said he was in. Where was he? Stockholm, I think.

[Derek Drescher]

Sweden.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, but he had. He said he did 123 milligrams in, get the out. I think he was lying.

[Zach Amico]

I think that.

[Chloe Labranche]

That kid Lucian or whatever, who's the bartender at Old Men Hustle.

[Derek Drescher]

Well, number one, he works with Old Man Hustle. That's.

[Chloe Labranche]

He was like in the name. He said he did it. He said he lost his mind. I didn't think that was real.

[Derek Drescher]

123 milligrams.

[Chloe Labranche]

That's what he said.

[Derek Drescher]

Did he put them all in at once? If. Maybe. If he did, that means he probably did like 10 at once or some like that.

[Chloe Labranche]

So I remember.

[Derek Drescher]

I can imagine they would have 15.

[Zach Amico]

What do we got here? The highest they make is 14 double X strong. Cool. In Asia, US strongest is UK 9 and 11.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, so these are from the UK, the ones I have.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, those are the European ones. They're better.

[Derek Drescher]

So what's 14? What's 123 divided by 14? Do we know? Does anyone in math was.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, we're not doing that one.

[Unidentified Guest]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

Okay, we're not. I mean, let's. Let's not. The show's only an hour long there. Chad, can you look up? I can't. Whatever the brand was, somebody said it was. There's certain things. Those fucking Swedes like. I have a buddy from Iceland, too, and he's got the same. They have, like, similar shit. Dude, he sent a box of the worst for my wedding. He sent us a box of treats from Iceland that might be all the worst things I've ever had.

[Derek Drescher]

Horrible.

[Zach Amico]

Such a nice guy. And he sent that. It was really strong, pungent, black licorice, which I usually like.

[Chloe Labranche]

Really?

[Derek Drescher]

You like?

[Zach Amico]

You like, but with a chocolate shell.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

And it was so not two tastes I wanted together.

[Derek Drescher]

How do you feel about Chocolate Twizzlers? You fuck with them or no?

[Zach Amico]

Chocolate Twizzlers? No. No. You don't like. I like black Twizzlers.

[Derek Drescher]

You do like black licorice?

[Zach Amico]

I like black licorice. Yes, I do. I love the Australian licorice.

[Derek Drescher]

Okay. I never had it.

[Zach Amico]

Very, very good. And I love Jaeger.

[Derek Drescher]

Jagermeister.

[Zach Amico]

Love Jaeger. Love Zambuca.

[Derek Drescher]

Zambuca.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Nothing wrong with that.

[Derek Drescher]

I used to drink a lot of Jagermeister. Jager bombs. Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He sent. And it was basically pork rinds, but the fish version. So it was like fish skins, kind of fried. And he sent it in a box that I guess he must have paid the cheapest shipping. So the box was all bang the fuck up by the time.

[Derek Drescher]

Through the box.

[Zach Amico]

I would imagine it stunk so bad through the box that they left the box outside my apartment door and both my cats were scratching at the door trying to get in. Get in this box.

[Chloe Labranche]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

It was like you opened the can of tuna in their face.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And, dude, I took one bite of them and I was like, these stink. I'm gonna put them in the cabinet of Gas Digital.

[Chloe Labranche]

Did you?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. They were gone in two days.

[Derek Drescher]

Everybody ate them. That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, there is nothing. You could put a Ziploc bag of shit in a cabinet here. Someone will eat it and write, please don't eat. This is shit.

[Chloe Labranche]

And someone would eat it.

[Zach Amico]

And it will be gone in three days. Shannon, your opinion.

[Shannon]

VGO, 100%.

[Zach Amico]

It's.

[Derek Drescher]

I didn't see what he wrote, though, man. Come on.

[Zach Amico]

There's people here that I've seen just as they're leaving, just pocketing snacks.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

For the day.

[Derek Drescher]

You're looking at one of them from Here?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like insane.

[Derek Drescher]

Like when I was doing keto, I was the Slim Jim kid up in here.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, I missed the Slim Jim.

[Derek Drescher]

I was going bananas, dude.

[Zach Amico]

For a while we had. Do you remember when we had the. The little meat and cheese and cracker packs in the fridge?

[Derek Drescher]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, those were so good. I missed. That was my breakfast every day.

[Derek Drescher]

But we can't have nothing here. Could people abuse it?

[Zach Amico]

Because.

[Derek Drescher]

Abuse it?

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I. I watched somebody eat four of those packs one day in a row and go, these are good, but they're. They're just. There's not enough. I mean, Zach, you're fat.

[Derek Drescher]

Well, you got. I wonder who that was.

[Zach Amico]

Aaron. And just what do you eat? McDonald's. He's just. Yeah, I wish there was more of these.

[Derek Drescher]

This free, you know, I don't know why. Because he felt bad that he was eating that because he probably had a diet. So he deflected off you all the time. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I missed those. Dude. We had Red Bulls for a long. We had sugar free Red Bulls. And then somebody who works here who can't see, blind Mike was just. Now he was just chugging Red Bull. I think he just drank enough Red Bull until he could see.

[Derek Drescher]

It would be funny that if he went blind because of how much Red Bull he drank.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, do you remember that?

[Shannon]

Yes, I remember. He would walk around with like, like double fisting Red Bulls and have like a monster also on the side. Like a lot of his defense. I think that one of his eye medications made him really tired, so he had to jack up his cat.

[Derek Drescher]

Thirsty.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. No, that does. I. And I'm not again judging the work. I mean, trying to hide booze around here.

[Derek Drescher]

Well, that and then you also, you know, some people who work here are interns too, so they're starving to death already.

[Zach Amico]

Sure. Yeah, sure. I mean, there's definitely people that were scroungers and that, you know, I think they lost some of their privileges. Yeah, I lost all of us our privilege.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. Weirdly, one person fucked it up. Well, you fuck it up for everybody.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I mean, Mike it up with the Red Bulls. There was who.

[Derek Drescher]

And who has. Ralph is the one I would imagine would have the final say on that.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, that's a Ralph.

[Derek Drescher]

I could just see a meeting and then Mike just walked through with two Red Bulls.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

You guys used to keep alcohol here, right? Like white claws, didn't you? In the fridge.

[Shannon]

Impossible to do here. For my show every week we have to buy new booze because no matter where I. Where I put it the next week for the show.

[Chloe Labranche]

It' I would have think now, I won't lie, Shannon.

[Shannon]

I. I've heard you told me.

[Zach Amico]

I've. I dip into the SDR tequila.

[Shannon]

Oh, that's okay.

[Zach Amico]

But I don't think I ever steal your shit. I appreciate that and the SDR tequila. I feel like if Ralph really. And he knows I have it and if he really wanted me to stop, he would tell me.

[Shannon]

I think he's. I think it's fine.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Derek Drescher]

Is there Kratom in the building?

[Zach Amico]

Of course.

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Chloe Labranche]

That's very. I know a lot of people who are just addicted to Kratom.

[Derek Drescher]

I know people who are addicted to Kratom. There's this drink now. You hear about this easy off. It's called.

[Chloe Labranche]

I think there's a Kratom bar in Austin that just makes Kratom cocktails.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. So there's this drink that you can.

[Zach Amico]

I was checking to make sure they weren't a sponsor on this one.

[Derek Drescher]

This isn't Kratom. This is another place. It's strong. It's like four times.

[Shannon]

Is this what you're talking about?

[Derek Drescher]

Feel free? Yep, that's what it is.

[Shannon]

Yeah. I keep hearing Pete, that it's like dangerous. It's like killing people or something.

[Derek Drescher]

It's. You need to be medically detox off it. It's the same as has doing like heroin.

[Chloe Labranche]

You got people at your rehabs who come in for Kratom.

[Derek Drescher]

I have people who come in for Kratom. Not Kratom. No, Kratom is good.

[Chloe Labranche]

It's good.

[Zach Amico]

It's not.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, it's not sponsored anymore. Yeah, people fucked up on Kratom.

[Zach Amico]

Kratom has a great. Has great uses. And you have to be careful with. That's what I always tell people. Don't start. But if you have other issues, it's great for that. And if you are like me and you have addiction issues, be very careful with it. Tread light and yes, tread lightly. And it's the same as any other substance. You can always do more.

[Derek Drescher]

Right? Yeah, that feel free shit. I know a lot of people who are fucked up on it right now.

[Zach Amico]

Well, the thing with it, that's a. You would assume you're supposed to have the whole thing.

[Derek Drescher]

Yes. You're not.

[Zach Amico]

And I don't think most of those. So, like, we have another sponsor here. There's the CBD drinks that I like those straight up. Say on the can one, have one, have one. Two if you are. If you're used to Them and three is, like, experienced users only.

[Derek Drescher]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I think they should be labeled like that drink. You're definitely not supposed to have the whole thing.

[Derek Drescher]

No, no, no. There's, like, whole taper programs now because of them. Like, it's a very, like, normal thing. Like, all right, if you. If you got fucked up on it like this, if you're. If you are getting sick, this is how much of the bottle you have to have drink today. This is how much you have to drink. But people don't have that gear to shift into. You know what I'm saying?

[Zach Amico]

You know what? I think I would have. I'm so glad it was gone out of the market before my.

[Chloe Labranche]

Sorry. I was just seeing when my lung appointment was because I was getting anxiety.

[Zach Amico]

Don't worry about it.

[Chloe Labranche]

I just wanted to see what my lung doctor was panicking.

[Zach Amico]

I'm really glad I was not around using in the time of liquid ghb. Being at, like, gnc.

[Derek Drescher]

I saw kids die off that shit, too.

[Zach Amico]

Wrestlers were fucked up on that. William Regal talks about. William Regal fell asleep on Vince McMahon's desk during his job interview.

[Derek Drescher]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

To work at WWF because he was so fuck. He said he was. Because he was depressed and he was injured and he said he was. All he did was go to gnc, buy them out, and he was just chugging all day until he found someone that would deliver it to the house.

[Derek Drescher]

Jesus. Did he get the job?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he did. He did. And he. And then he had to get sober because he had a match with Bradshaw that he doesn't remember.

[Chloe Labranche]

That's cool.

[Zach Amico]

On tv.

[Derek Drescher]

Was it a good match at least?

[Zach Amico]

It wasn't bad.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, but.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think that. I think I would have loved G. I would have. It's a date rape drug.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah. People love to refeed themselves. It's very salty.

[Derek Drescher]

I did it once at a rave.

[Chloe Labranche]

A couple raves I went to Sex with me. I reviewed myself, and I hooked up with no punch. I was like, come on, guys.

[Zach Amico]

I. Okay, Chloe. Can I ask Shannon, did I talk about this on the show recently? The girl who sat with me at the bar and kept asking the. Oh, I did. And she kept asking the bartender to hold her drink. And after the third time she got up to pay, she kept giving her a drink to the bartender. I was like, lady, do you think I'm gonna rape you or not? Stop coming back and talking to me.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, that's crazy. She was nagging you.

[Zach Amico]

It was crazy.

[Shannon]

I don't think it was on this show.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, friends if you plan on scaring yourself shitless this season, you need Mando deodorant. Mando is whole body deodorant that gets the job done. Made with mandelic acid, this stuff blocks odor before it even starts. Go ahead and join in that game of touch football. You're all good with Mando. In fact, Mando controls sweat and odor for 72 hours. And after just 12 hours, underarm sweat was reduced by a whopping 92%. Guys, I use Mando at home. I in fact, have bought it for friends and loved ones. I just got a text from my dad asking if that's what he's going to be getting for Christmas. So thanks, dad, for listening to the show. Try all of their awesome scents like bourbon, leather and pro sport to smell incredible all day long. The Mando starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, and two free products of your choice, like the mini body wash or the deodorant wipes, which I love. Great to have on the road, plus free shipping. As a special offer for morning Zoo fans, new customers get 20% off site wide with my exclusive code ZOO Z O [e-mail] for 20 off site wide plus free shipping. S-H O P M A N D O DOT com. Support the show and tell them we sent you. Mando's got you covered with deodorant plus sweat control. Say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long lasting freshness. All right, let's get back into the program. Okay. I was at the Secret group in Houston, and I like drinking there. And they're very kind to me, nice people. And I sat at the bar and there was like this hipster kind of glass. You know, I like a Liz Lemon type of bitch. I wasn't hitting on. The chair next to her was open. And I always say, hey, is it okay if I sit here? Because I don't want to just assume. And I literally ordered a drink and I'm just staring at the bar and we just naturally start talking. And I guess she's a aspiring comic or whatever, and she was asking me comic questions. I'm just talking and she's like, hold on, let's go to the bathroom. Okay? And then she goes to the bar. We're the only. I think we're one of like four people at the bar. And she goes, bartender, can you hold? Can you take my drink? The bartenders, yeah, I'll put a coaster. She goes, no, will you Put it behind the bar. So she takes the girl's drink, puts it all the way over there, goes and comes back, and she takes her drink back, gets another drink. Hold on. I have to pee again. And hands it to her again. And after, like, we're sitting there for, like, an hour and a half talking. I was like, the fourth time she gives her drink to the bar. I was like, lady, if you really think I'm gonna rape you, yeah, go tell me. I think at one point I went, hey, do you want me to sit somewhere else?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, go talk to somebody else.

[Zach Amico]

I was like, do you want me to, like, go somewhere else? And she's like, oh, no. I'm really enjoying our conversation. I was like, are you? Absolutely. Because I thought it was a really. Like, it wasn't that, like, you're also.

[Chloe Labranche]

Like, I work at this club. If I was to rape you, it wouldn't be good for my career.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, I'm gonna rape an open biker.

[Zach Amico]

It would blow her.

[Derek Drescher]

It would send her right to the top, baby.

[Chloe Labranche]

I. I'm such. Like, when I'm drinking, I'm such an alcoholic about it. Like, I would never leave my drink at the bar because I always have to be holding it. So, like, if I went to the bathroom, I'd bring it with me.

[Derek Drescher]

That's more like an alcoholic.

[Chloe Labranche]

That's what I mean. I'm like, I'm not leaving it because then I can't drinking it. I know it's gross, but I bring. I always bring my drinks in the bathroom.

[Derek Drescher]

Max. Gay guys tried to roofy Max.

[Chloe Labranche]

Max, my assistant?

[Derek Drescher]

No, Max Manikov.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

That's a pretty. I don't know the story in full detail, but that's pretty wild.

[Zach Amico]

I. I read a story recently about a kid getting roofied at the gay.

[Derek Drescher]

Bar and then getting his ass took. Oh, God.

[Chloe Labranche]

Ass took.

[Zach Amico]

Well, he said that it was. It was an older guy.

[Derek Drescher]

Was he gay?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, it was a gay guy. And he said he was young, though. He was, like, 19. He's an older guy. Bought him a drink, and literally, it was like the story every girl has where he's like, all of a sudden, he didn't feel good. He felt dizzy. And then he said he just woke up, and he was in the guy's car with no pants on.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

And he said he was like, a goth night. And he said he had big boots on, and he kicked the guy in the throat.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, damn.

[Zach Amico]

And then he said a bunch of drag queens saw from across the street and Came and beat the fucking shit out of the dude.

[Derek Drescher]

Really?

[Chloe Labranche]

That's awesome.

[Zach Amico]

They said a bunch of. He said it was like. He said this was his first.

[Derek Drescher]

So a bunch of drag queens. Basically a bunch of power forwards.

[Zach Amico]

Oh yeah, yeah. The. The starting lineup of the Monstars. I feel like he said they came over and they're like, are you okay? And he went like he couldn't talk. And they just turned our legs over and they said that they just walloped them.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, they're just like, sweetie, we got you. And then they just are like.

[Zach Amico]

And then. Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

And then the fucking witch.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, dude. Getting stomped out by fucking drag queens. Must be the war. Can you imagine going from. You're a rapist taking 19 year old butt. You're fuck. I mean plan. Yeah, everything's fucking covered a fucking. Yeah, everything's coming up Milhouse. Yeah. You only wasted one drink. You popped pop pop, fizz fizz. Oh, what a relief it is.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You get this fucking twink back to your car. Fucking it's all. Everything's going to plan. Yep. And then just fucking get a bunch of 6 foot 4 guys in purple wings beat the out of you.

[Derek Drescher]

You get Mollywopped.

[Gas Digital Network Announcer]

Oh boy.

[Derek Drescher]

You know how you must feel the next morning when you wake up because one, you're a rapist.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

You don't. You don't feel great about that.

[Chloe Labranche]

They probably feel accomplished.

[Derek Drescher]

You think so?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, like one for the. One for the kid.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Just.

[Derek Drescher]

That's. That's the game. That's the game, brother. Sometimes you get. You get Molly wap about Dragon like in Billy Madison.

[Chloe Labranche]

Crossing up the list, putting on the lipstick after. I feel like gay bars, like it's just. And even like the gay community. I could be hot take here and, and like Les, it's so lawless. Like it doesn't like they do whatever. There's no. Like I have friends I don't understand like good friends that are lesbians. And there's just like nothing applies the way it does in. In terms of like my relationships as a straight person. They all. They move in with each other right away. Then after the breakups they're best friends and then they have fights and the same with gay guys. And then they're. And they're everybody and I'm like, I can't even talk.

[Zach Amico]

What is the old joke? Like, what's a great second date for lesbians?

[Chloe Labranche]

Like yeah, like bringing over your luggage or something.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

I'm just like. And then I, you know, I assume at gay bars they're just like, I'm gonna have sex with everybody.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. I think it depends. I, I, I would imagine at a certain point, Maybe in the 1980s, that slowed down.

[Derek Drescher]

Right.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, because the AIDS.

[Zach Amico]

And then maybe now it's a little less.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. Because you don't die from AIDS anymore.

[Chloe Labranche]

Look at Charlie Sheen. He's having a huge comeback.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He's doing well.

[Chloe Labranche]

He's like, he started a non alcoholic beer line.

[Zach Amico]

Good for him.

[Chloe Labranche]

He's like on everything right now, I feel like, because Charlie Sheen is like, if I watch the documentary and you look at his career and no matter how crazy shit he did, he's just one of those people who's just born to be a star. He's just born to be a fucking star. Everything falls into his lap. He does the craziest thing and then he's on the biggest movie. And then like all this. He said they said he fucked. He said he's fucked 47,000 women, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Think about that.

[Chloe Labranche]

I believe it.

[Zach Amico]

Think about this. He smoked crack, quit the biggest show on tv, and then went after the Jews. I got another TV show.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Think about, dude. Fresh went hard on the J's.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And got a TV show based on an Adam Sandler movie.

[Chloe Labranche]

Dude, he's born to be a star. When he just, anytime he decides he want, like, wants to be famous, like, it just falls into him.

[Derek Drescher]

And Robert Downey Jr. Is the same thing.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah. But Charlie Sheen, I feel like, is more of an anomaly.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like Robert Downey Jr. Though, had a turn, had a face turn where he became a really wholesome guy.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Charlie Sheen is still doing interviews. Dude. I saw one the other day where he was like, I was going to smoke crack for the first time and a girl said, let me make sure it's a great experience.

[Chloe Labranche]

And she blew.

[Zach Amico]

So I got a blowjob while I smoked crack for the first time. Things fall, it was the greatest feeling in the world.

[Chloe Labranche]

Things literally fall into his lap.

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, you know what? That sounds pretty good though. I am convinced that we will find out this whole him becoming bisexual later in life.

[Chloe Labranche]

He's not bisexual. What happened was he just said, you taste everything on the menu and then you want to look what's on the other side.

[Derek Drescher]

You know how confident you, you have to be to get a blowjob while you're smoking crack.

[Chloe Labranche]

Really?

[Derek Drescher]

I mean, my, When I, anytime I did any kind of cocaine or anything, like, my penis went back inside my body.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, he said that the Biggest that he. The lucky people lose their sex drive on cocaine. But his got. Got better. So he was like, I wish I. I wish I didn't get boners.

[Derek Drescher]

That's probably why he was like, I.

[Chloe Labranche]

Was one of the unlucky ones. That's why I was having like, could everything.

[Zach Amico]

And I've said this on the show. I'm pretty sure he's been dabbling on both sides of the fence, really Forever.

[Derek Drescher]

Surprised me to hear about it earlier because.

[Zach Amico]

And Shannon, we talked about that here. I'm pretty sure Corey Feldman accused him or someone accused him.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, really.

[Zach Amico]

Of fucking Corey Haim on Lost Boys.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

On the set of Lucas.

[Chloe Labranche]

But then Corey's mother came out and said, that's not true. Corey Haim's mom.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

But Corey is crazy.

[Zach Amico]

And I believe the exact story was it was between two trailers and he them in the ass using Crisco.

[Derek Drescher]

That would be the name of the. The doc or the between two trailers.

[Zach Amico]

And for people who don't know, Crisco is who sang the Thong Song.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

How old was Corey Haim? Like 12, 13?

[Derek Drescher]

Ish.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, help us out here.

[Shannon]

I'm looking up. One second.

[Zach Amico]

Or I made this all up. So there's another very possible thing. I made this up, and I am selling the name of a dead man and one of the most famous people alive.

[Derek Drescher]

Wait, Corey Haim's dead?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Aids. You got it from Charlie Sheen.

[Zach Amico]

Corey Haim is dead. Corey Feldman's alive.

[Chloe Labranche]

Everybody on your show always says, I look like Corey Feldman is killing me. I don't see that for years on Real Ass Podcast. It's just always been, she looks like Corey Feldman, she looks like Corey Feldman.

[Zach Amico]

I don't see it.

[Chloe Labranche]

I get that. And Toby Maguire from Real House Podcast every time I don't say it. Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

No, I think you're a very pretty lady.

[Chloe Labranche]

Thank you for UGS in my pocket.

[Zach Amico]

I mean that.

[Chloe Labranche]

No, I love it. I've told people that. It's my best compliment.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, Am I. Did I make that up?

[Shannon]

You did not make it up. So apparently in A Tale of Two Coreys, which again, is by Corey Feldman, who is the one that always talks about Corey Haim's sexual assault. Corey Haim has never talked about it.

[Derek Drescher]

Can't talk about it now.

[Shannon]

Nobody never talked. It's just. It's just weird to, like, put all of your friends dirty out there after they're dead. But. So it says that Charlie Sheen and then a few other people are accused of this. And it happened when Haim was 13 years old while filming. Lucas Sheen was 19.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, what the Was Lucas. How did I never see.

[Chloe Labranche]

But where's the part about the Crisco?

[Derek Drescher]

I'm gonna watch and see if his acting changes at any point during the movie.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, just in one scene in the movie. He's.

[Derek Drescher]

He's just.

[Chloe Labranche]

He's holding his butt.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Extra emotional.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He had to get a stunt double for the horse riding scene.

[Chloe Labranche]

Wait, but did Zach make up the Crisco part?

[Shannon]

No. So.

[Zach Amico]

That was there. That was. That was the. That was for me. I wanted it to smell like bacon.

[Shannon]

It does say that Corey Feldman alleged that he used Crisco as a lubricant. So he must have been like, really in close quarters of what was happening to see exactly what he was doing.

[Derek Drescher]

He's just digging through the cabinets as he hasn't been bent over.

[Zach Amico]

You know what? I would. Have you ever seen the. What's it called? Bacon up? It's just. Dude, it's a. Like a bacon grease you use for cooking. The first time I ever went to buc EE's they had gallon bucket. Like not even gal. Like probably two Shank, can you look up. I think it's called bacon up. It's. It's. They had fucking like it had to be a three gallon bucket. You can you look up the biggest size they sell.

[Chloe Labranche]

They should sponsor you.

[Derek Drescher]

Verify your age. 14 hours.

[Zach Amico]

3 gallons.

[Derek Drescher]

Jesus Christ.

[Chloe Labranche]

How big is that? Like this big.

[Derek Drescher]

That's a three gallon.

[Zach Amico]

Think of a gallon like a Home Depot bucket.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Cool.

[Zach Amico]

Shan, look up three gallon. Show us how big. I think. And I just remember that was in the front of BUC EE's. And I was watching people take it to the counter and I was like, where is that going?

[Chloe Labranche]

They're going straight to Corey Haim's asshole in your. They're gonna pour it on his grave.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Throwing out for the homie. But who has room in their fridge for a three gallon bucket of bacon grease?

[Chloe Labranche]

Same person who has that freezer.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think you can leave that unfrozen. Right.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Once you open it, I would assume it's got to be.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. Because it would. It would get. You'd want it to be cold so you could handle it better because fat still does get like liquidy.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, did you find 3 gallon bucket?

[Shannon]

I don't. I'm not understanding exactly what you're asking me. You just want to see another three gallon bucket?

[Chloe Labranche]

You can put it like next to it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. To show how big it is.

[Derek Drescher]

A five gallon pail would be like.

[Shannon]

I'm not going to show you the scale though.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know.

[Shannon]

I mean, I'll show you a 3 gallon bucket, but it's going to look the same. There you go. That do it? Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Three gallon bucket, bacon up.

[Derek Drescher]

So look, you see that one right there? Where the. Where the liquid. It's filled up to the liquid. That's about three gallons right there.

[Shannon]

Showing you the size.

[Chloe Labranche]

I get it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

So. Damn, son. So I saved my.

[Zach Amico]

There it is.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, that looks good.

[Zach Amico]

But that's. It's so I can't explain to you how I would never have room in my. I guess fast people have like a garage.

[Derek Drescher]

Do you have like a big freezer or something like that? Maybe?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, my grandma has the. The meat freezer in the basement.

[Derek Drescher]

I saved my bacon fat. Does anybody else?

[Chloe Labranche]

No, no.

[Zach Amico]

I had a friend that did that though.

[Derek Drescher]

I put it in a jar.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he put it in a jar.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He did not put it in the. It was a guy I lived with on a movie set and he did not put it in the fridge. He kept it in a jar next to the sink. And guess what?

[Derek Drescher]

It broke one day.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no. He infested our kitchen with roaches and rats and yes, it was very disgusting.

[Chloe Labranche]

You should get like a huge bucket of that and just put it in here and see if it goes.

[Zach Amico]

I would give it a week.

[Derek Drescher]

I mean, I would use it myself, you know, I used to know.

[Zach Amico]

We're gonna use it here.

[Chloe Labranche]

Does that like preserve things or. No, because.

[Derek Drescher]

No, it makes very unhealthy bacon. Bacon and hot dogs are loaded with carcinogens. Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

So that's in carcinogens. As you like incarcerated.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

So dumb. Sorry.

[Derek Drescher]

Formerly in carcinogen.

[Zach Amico]

I've given up and I.

[Derek Drescher]

One time I worked in this steel. A steel plant where they would. You. They like they had old buckets there. They would lubricate the chains of the machines with animal fat and.

[Chloe Labranche]

And Corey Haim's. That's where he got the idea.

[Derek Drescher]

Just slide it on the chain. Yeah, but in the morning when you turn the lights on in the place, about hundreds of rats would. Oh, would dip off.

[Chloe Labranche]

Did you.

[Derek Drescher]

They were like. They're just like licking the chains and gnawing on the chains of the machine.

[Zach Amico]

Delicious chains.

[Chloe Labranche]

Did you hear about Curtis Lewis? Obviously, how he's saying he wants to. He proposes feral cats to help with the New York City rat problem.

[Zach Amico]

So I actually have that on my knees. Really. But not quite so. I Guess he has a lot of cats. And it's the new store I have here. T Bird was what we call our president cringes over Curtis. So cat obsession in spicy breakdown of NYC mayoral race. Shannon, tell us about that and then we'll get into this him releasing cats thing.

[Shannon]

Okay. If you want, I could play the little bit of.

[Zach Amico]

A little T Bird action.

[Chloe Labranche]

Cuomo or Sliwa?

[Unidentified Guest]

Yeah, I guess I haven't made a decision. Really?

[Chloe Labranche]

Sounds like you.

[Shannon]

Somebody.

[Unidentified Guest]

Well. Well, I think it's not good to have a communist. Okay. Would I rather have a Democrat than a communist? Barely.

[Zach Amico]

They're almost becoming the same thing.

[Derek Drescher]

I love it.

[Shannon]

Curtis.

[Zach Amico]

Sliwa.

[Unidentified Guest]

Well, you know, look, I mean, I don't know. He's a Republican. Is he really a Republican? You know, am I a big fan? This isn't exactly ideal where he wants to make Gracie Mansion a home for the cats. You know, Gracie Mansion is a magnificent home of Fiorello LaGuardia, the great mayors. Rudy, Rudy Giuliani. Rudy Giuliani was the greatest mayor in the history of New York. He did a great job.

[Chloe Labranche]

So you're going to get involved.

[Unidentified Guest]

He went through hell. So I'll make a decision soon.

[Chloe Labranche]

It's only three months away.

[Unidentified Guest]

The mayor looks. I don't know that I've got to get involved.

[Shannon]

May I say something real quick? I'm so sorry because of course I hate this and the mayor's. The governor's mansion, Mayor's mansion, that Gracie Mansion, wasn't it infested with rats recently? Probably it was because they were sending. They were trying to get that, that rat czar over there to clear it of the rats. First of all, if you have cats there, it's going to help with the problem. And they didn't have a problem with rats, but they have a problem with cats.

[Derek Drescher]

The only thing I don't like about them using cats, feral cats is I feel like some of the cats will end up poisoned after the rats have. And poison. And they eat them also.

[Shannon]

He. He courtesy. Rescues cats.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he. He has a lot of cats. He's also. So there is like this, like guys who love cats are somehow less men than guys who love dogs. Thanks, Karen. I still love you. Don't worry about it, baby girl.

[Derek Drescher]

If you have cat, you're a pussy. You're a fucking.

[Zach Amico]

It bugs me because I feel like if you're a person with a dog in New York and you can't walk it every day, that's animal abuse. So.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, however. And of course I'M not accusing. Karen's very good to her dog. She pays people a lot of money to walk Karen fiance.

[Derek Drescher]

Yes, she does.

[Chloe Labranche]

She loves her dog.

[Derek Drescher]

I was doing a Karen impression when.

[Zach Amico]

I said she's a very good pet owner.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No matter what her dog does.

[Chloe Labranche]

Hey, her dog.

[Derek Drescher]

I didn't see nothing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, neither did it.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, yeah, that was your fault.

[Derek Drescher]

It wasn't my fault. Nothing happened.

[Chloe Labranche]

Carcinogen.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, so I guess he's kind of like busting his balls for liking cats, but is there. I get very weirded out by people who hate animals, Right?

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, yeah. It's serial killer something. If you don't like animals, if you.

[Zach Amico]

Like them too much, it's weird. That's also weird if you call your. Your, you know, your animals, your friends, fur babies or whatever little weird. Sometimes people that love their dog a little too much little weird. But people that don't like it, like, I'm pretty sure T Bird. Isn't he one of the first presidents in a long time to not have a dog?

[Shannon]

Yes, he is the first president in modern time, but the third president of all time to not have a dog.

[Derek Drescher]

Didn't he used to have Afghans back in the day? He had them tall, like fucking long. You ever seen an Afghan?

[Zach Amico]

I know what you're talking about. Yeah. I didn't know he had them.

[Derek Drescher]

I think that it takes people with higher self esteem to own a cat than a dog. Because a dog is like very. I love dogs.

[Zach Amico]

Dogs. Like having a retarded brother.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he's excited when you get in the house.

[Chloe Labranche]

You don't have to do shit, though. It's not that you don't like having a stepson. You kind of raise it.

[Derek Drescher]

But they also, they. They won't show you affection if they don't want to. They don't feel the need to. Like my cat. Sometimes I walk in, it'll come stand in front of me and it'll roll around on the ground. Doesn't mean I get to touch it. She doesn't always want me to be. To be pet. And then other times I'll come in and I won't know where she is at all. She has no. She doesn't care that I'm back.

[Zach Amico]

I do think it's odd that he doesn't have the like. And I get. It's not. I think it's more of an appearances thing. Like, you're the president. They get a dog, you get a dog. It's a thing. They barely.

[Derek Drescher]

The golden retriever.

[Zach Amico]

You Fucking write puff pieces about it. It's some. I think it's just tradition.

[Derek Drescher]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

And I know that sounds stupid or whatever, but I wasn't it. Biden's dog was biting the shit out of people.

[Derek Drescher]

That's great.

[Zach Amico]

Secret Service hated it.

[Derek Drescher]

The dog is senile. The president's senile. Everybody's a senile.

[Zach Amico]

So the idea of him just not liking animals just gives me a very, like, grinchy vibe.

[Derek Drescher]

It could be the wife too. I mean, they probably eat dogs where she comes from. I'm not sure.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, I just watched a video and we'll. We'll get back to the cats thing in a second, I guess. Our friends in the Middle east, apparently many do not care for dogs because dogs there are no haram. And it was a lady walking a big fucking dog through a muzzy neighborhood and they jumped. I mean, put a muzzle on that thing, dude. You would have thought she was driving a tank.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, they got the. Out of the way.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Shane, can you look up walking a dog through a Muslim neighbor?

[Derek Drescher]

It is so dogs are not haram. They are haram. They're not halal.

[Zach Amico]

I don't.

[Derek Drescher]

Wait, so halal is good, which means proper and haram would be okay?

[Zach Amico]

I don't. I'm dumb. Please forgive me. No, no, no, because we had this conversation. Something about. We were talking about. Oh, we were talking about the Indian couple with their pets. And then I was like, I don't think I've ever met an Indian guy with a dog. And then we found out they have a holiday in India where they beat dogs to death in a pit. But apparently, yeah, the. The. The muzzies, they're not liking the dog.

[Chloe Labranche]

You ever heard the expression never trust a man who doesn't like dogs and. Or doesn't drink?

[Derek Drescher]

No, no, that sounds ridiculous.

[Chloe Labranche]

It sounds great.

[Derek Drescher]

Who said that to you?

[Chloe Labranche]

A lot of people.

[Derek Drescher]

A man that doesn't drink. Why?

[Chloe Labranche]

Because if a man doesn't drink or doesn't like dogs, never trust him.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, but what's the drinking part?

[Zach Amico]

What is it either though? Like.

[Chloe Labranche]

I think it's both of them. Those are two things. Well, honestly, someone who doesn't drink anymore, they're an alcoholic, so probably don't trust them. And then if they don't like dogs, they don't like animals.

[Derek Drescher]

Why? But if they've worked a program, then they're trustworthy.

[Zach Amico]

Or they're like T Bird and they've never had alcohol because their dad was an. Alcohol.

[Derek Drescher]

Never drank. It never.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, same. Same with Baron.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And Caffeine. Don't touch the stuff.

[Derek Drescher]

Dalia too.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. All trustworthy people.

[Chloe Labranche]

Blake Lively.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, did you find the girl walking the dog?

[Shannon]

Is it. Are they. How are the Muslims reacting?

[Zach Amico]

They're jumping out of the way.

[Shannon]

Oh. So all the ones that I'm seeing coming up are everyone loves the dogs.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, well, I guess I just watched a racist thing. Yeah. So it was my algorithm.

[Shannon]

I'll show you the one I found. It's a girl, but everyone loves her dog.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, guys. Today's show is brought to you by our friends at Small batch Cigar, simple, fast, small batch. Listen, having a nice cigar or two in the house is a sign of a classy person. Just like a nice bottle of wine, some fine cheeses, and I gotta be honest with you, I'm not the most cultured guy on the block, but I know quality when I see it. And all my friends that smoke cigars absolutely love Small Batch. They have free shipping on every order, and almost every order arrives within two to three days. In the continental United States, it's the most thorough packaging in the industry. It comes with that Boveda pack, so everything you get is super fresh. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited, and hard to find cigars. And you earn 5% rewards points instantly just with your order. So go to smallbatch cigar.com and most people click the new link first to shop the newest arrivals. And we have a code for you. That's right. If you use gas 10, gas 10, you get 10% off your order plus those 5% rewards points. So check it out and let me know what you think. Small batch cigar, simple, fast, small batch. Let's get back into the show.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, my God. This is not a good Muslim. This is America.

[Chloe Labranche]

She's in Bushwick, and this dog is quite literally the cutest thing you'll ever see. Like, I all know we have our preferences and what dogs I don't like.

[Zach Amico]

Keep it moving, Keep it moving.

[Chloe Labranche]

And so there we are, just minding around Amsterdam.

[Derek Drescher]

This is mindless.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, my gosh. I love your dog. Your dog is so cute. We have a Golden at home.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

You're in America.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I think it might be a rottweiler or a pit bull. She's walking through.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And she's got it on, like, a big metal chain.

[Derek Drescher]

That's beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's pretty fun.

[Derek Drescher]

I love it.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty fun and people are just not having it.

[Chloe Labranche]

I want a dog.

[Zach Amico]

Me too, but I want to have a backyard first.

[Derek Drescher]

Do you have your own apartment now?

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, I've had it. I want a dog.

[Derek Drescher]

Are you back in the West Village?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Why? Why are you doxxing me right now?

[Derek Drescher]

Sorry, my bad dog.

[Zach Amico]

Did you get a dachshund?

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Bring it around town, baby. All right, let's do one or two more stories before we get out of here. All right, we'll keep this light. Staten island teen allegedly beheads mom's boyfriend and puts his brains in the blender.

[Derek Drescher]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

Shanoon.

[Chloe Labranche]

Classic.

[Shannon]

Okay, so obviously this kid has some mental health issues. Apparently ever since he was 13, he was like, drawing pictures of, like, terrible images in his head and showing to his mom. When he turned 18, it appears that the mother couldn't know anymore, like, what medications they were giving him. And they switched one medication, and he just kind of like went off the deep end from then.

[Zach Amico]

Great.

[Shannon]

And so he hated his mom's boyfriend, Anthony Casalaspro, and he stabbed him, beheaded him. And then that body was found with a torso with a spoon sticking out of it. And then he spooned some of the. With a plastic ladle, spooned some of his brains into a blender, and that's how they found his body.

[Zach Amico]

Making a smoothie.

[Shannon]

I guess so.

[Derek Drescher]

A brute.

[Zach Amico]

A brain smoothie.

[Derek Drescher]

Brain smoothie.

[Zach Amico]

Brain food.

[Derek Drescher]

I wonder if it tasted like sauce.

[Chloe Labranche]

Did he drink it?

[Zach Amico]

I wanna. That's what I really want to know.

[Derek Drescher]

If they were leading him out, he was like, it tastes like veal. Like a good veal guy.

[Chloe Labranche]

He drank the guy's brain and now he knows what it's like to his own mom. Yeah, he's like, he's in my head now.

[Zach Amico]

I drank his brains and now. Now I know. Every time he.

[Chloe Labranche]

My mother, I see what he sees.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, now I know my mother's a three holer.

[Derek Drescher]

Poor kid. Definitely some issues that are not his fault.

[Shannon]

His sister walked in, like, kind of, I guess, at the end of this happening, and then he said to the sister, she like, I'm gonna make some bread. Do you want mom to live? And. And she was like, wait, are you gonna hurt mom? And he's like, do you want her to live? And she said, yes, please. And then so she ran out, warned the mom.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, she's a good kid.

[Shannon]

Called the cops. This is. Here's. This is obviously blurred, but here's one of the images of the body. Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Put them in the tub.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Chloe Labranche]

What's that thing on the floor? That plate? No, stick.

[Shannon]

I don't know, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Is that a saw?

[Derek Drescher]

It looks like a saw.

[Chloe Labranche]

Beheading is really hard.

[Derek Drescher]

That's the saw.

[Shannon]

I see it. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I feel like the heading's pretty difficult.

[Derek Drescher]

I think between the, the. The. The neck bone and all that, you.

[Chloe Labranche]

Have to have good work.

[Shannon]

Worth it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

I feel like if you know how to use a saw, it would be easier.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. Like I've done construction.

[Chloe Labranche]

I mean. You know what I wanted to ask you about. It's off topic. Did you watch the monster show on Netflix about Ed Gain or.

[Derek Drescher]

I heard it's not that good.

[Chloe Labranche]

He's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I have no interest.

[Derek Drescher]

He's the original.

[Zach Amico]

I've read all the. I've read so many books about.

[Derek Drescher]

I'm like way on.

[Chloe Labranche]

I didn't realize he was like the number one that everything was based off.

[Derek Drescher]

We use the lampshade guy.

[Zach Amico]

He is and he isn't though.

[Chloe Labranche]

They say they based Buffalo Bill off of him. They said Psycho and Texas. Texas Chainsaw.

[Zach Amico]

However, not really a serial killer cuz.

[Chloe Labranche]

He only killed like three people.

[Zach Amico]

Two.

[Chloe Labranche]

What, the woman in the two ladies. Just his mom.

[Zach Amico]

He didn't kill his mom.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, Ed Kemper killed his mom. And then he wore her. Her head like a hat through three counties.

[Zach Amico]

No, he only killed two ladies that looked like his mom. Some people think he killed his brother when he was a kid.

[Derek Drescher]

I think Kemper is the best.

[Chloe Labranche]

I don't know who Kemper is.

[Derek Drescher]

So. Kemper, I think he shot his grandmother and grandfather.

[Zach Amico]

I think so.

[Derek Drescher]

And they sent him to a insane asylum, a psychiatric hospital. And he talked himself out of the. The hospital and he killed his. Then he killed his mom. Did he kill any more than that or.

[Zach Amico]

No? No. Yeah, he killed a bunch of them. Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Killing girls, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. He was huge, right?

[Derek Drescher]

He's a very big man. Six, seven.

[Zach Amico]

He. His job in prison. Do you know this?

[Derek Drescher]

No, tell me.

[Zach Amico]

He worked for the service that would read things for blind people.

[Derek Drescher]

The Braille.

[Chloe Labranche]

Oh, so he could like.

[Zach Amico]

No, he would record.

[Derek Drescher]

Voice. He was a voice actor?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he was a voice actor, basically. And it was like a work program in jail. So there's books that you can. Then they've. They've. People found them so they've been taken off.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because it didn't say who read them.

[Derek Drescher]

He's very soft spoken man too.

[Zach Amico]

It was Flowers for Algernon.

[Derek Drescher]

Get out of here. Oh, I would love to listen to that by Ed Kemper.

[Zach Amico]

And the Bible.

[Chloe Labranche]

No, no.

[Zach Amico]

And I want his Bible so bad. I would listen to it. I would never tell my wife who was reading it.

[Derek Drescher]

Would you Pay for it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Yeah, I would love to listen to that at night. So egging, like I read a bunch of deranged is the really good book about him. And it's just with the Ryan Murphy things. Like, I. I don't like this sexy serial killer thing. Like, Ted Bundy was not that good looking. He was good looking for a serial killer.

[Derek Drescher]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he got pussy. But like to have murdered that pussy who was a little fucking creepy Peanut man be played by that hunk.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Fucking.

[Derek Drescher]

It's blasphemy.

[Zach Amico]

It's. It's just fucking sensationalism. Yeah. He was a little creepo who fucking read EC Comics and wanted to fucking be a little. Little. He was a grave robber, not a serial killer. They thought he was a prolific serial killer. Yeah. Come on. He's a little Peanut man.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

And that's a good picture of him.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, it's a great picture.

[Chloe Labranche]

I don't like.

[Zach Amico]

So basically what he did, he was a grave robber and he was making a woman suit. So that would be the Texas Chainsaw thing is the body parts in the house and the skin mask. Buffalo Bill was making a woman suit and Norman Bates was obsessed with his mother. So those technically all are based very, very loosely on Ed Kemper, so. And that. Or on Ed Gein. Because my bad. Excuse me. Norman Bates in the book is fat and bald and he's much more of like a losery dude.

[Derek Drescher]

Not Vince Vaughn.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Not. Yeah. Or even Anthony Perkins is pretty fucking handsome.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah, yeah, he's cute.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think you'd be his type.

[Chloe Labranche]

Because I'm a girl.

[Zach Amico]

And so. Yes, they are all very. And then Texas Chainsaw, I think it's. They literally. They say it's based on him so that in the beginning of the movie they could go, this is based on a true story. But it's not in Texas that we're no chainsaws. And they weren't killing people and skinning them. He was. Yeah, he was grave robbing the two ladies he did kill. Yes. He did dress them like deer and then use the parts for stuff in the house. My favorite Ed Gein thing is that he had a shoebox full of vaginas under his bed.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like vulvas and shit.

[Chloe Labranche]

Right. In the show he has like. He made a chair and there's just like a nipple on the chair.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The whole house. I mean, also is. This guy was so antisocial that that was just his house.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And no one knew. So that for years he was Fucking doing that. So I don't think he ever had company. So the idea that. Doesn't he, like, get pussy?

[Chloe Labranche]

He's a girlfriend, like a wife the whole time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

It's not right.

[Chloe Labranche]

I don't. Like, in all these shows and these movies now, they keep trying to humanize the bad guy so you can feel some sort of Empire empathy. I feel like in old movies, the best part is, you know, who's the bad guy. You know who's the good guy. The whole, like. So that's why, you know, to root for, so it's more fun. And now they're trying to, like, give the bad guys, like, traits. So you feel bad for them.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I don't want to identify with Dahmer, which I feel like they tried to so hard with that show by kind of like making his dad a homophobe and shit.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Which I'm sure was true, but at the same, like the. The movie, My Friend Dahmer, I hated it. But it's also because he was a fucking asshole the whole movie, which he probably was like, real life.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He was unbearable.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Chloe Labranche]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And the same with like any of these fucking guys. So I just hate that, like, the sexification.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It like grosses me out. And like, I just feel it's for, like. I feel like it's to take advantage of people who were like 13 year old me.

[Derek Drescher]

Have you ever watched Mindhunter?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

And then they make them look like what they are. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Monsters.

[Derek Drescher]

Monsters. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But I feel like, to take advantage of a like 13 year old me who's just getting into true crime and.

[Derek Drescher]

Now you want to be a serial killer.

[Zach Amico]

Make these like, like the same dudes who think fucking Patrick Bateman's cool or the Joker or fucking any of these.

[Chloe Labranche]

Anti heroes or like Louis G. Manjeon.

[Zach Amico]

Sure.

[Chloe Labranche]

How people are, like, making him like a sex symbol and it's. And then it makes other people be like, I want to murder someone too, and things that.

[Zach Amico]

And it's also taking advantage of fucking fat chicks who flick their bean to fucking true crime at night. And so they're making it sexier to play to that crowd.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Fucking, you know, girls with glasses reading stories at night.

[Derek Drescher]

Chubby.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, come on.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Sometimes you tune into a podcast and you can hear how fat the girl is based on how excited she is to talk about murder. And I should.

[Derek Drescher]

That's a big one.

[Zach Amico]

I'm the last person to talk. All right, guys. We're gonna end it there. Thank. Thank you so much for tuning in. Did we do plugs? No. Right. Let's get plugs out real quick. Cory, hit that plug. Music, Chloe.

[Chloe Labranche]

Okay, so I'm doing a live news for women at the stand, November 9, main room, 10pm with Kurt Metzger and some special guests. And then also just check out chloe labranche on YouTube and Instagram. Whatever for all my other news for women.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic.

[Derek Drescher]

Mr. Drescher, Derek Tree Dresher on Instagram and on the Gate podcast on Instagram and Also subscribe on YouTube.

[Zach Amico]

Noice Zach is not funny. Instagram. Punchup Live. Zachamica. For my dates, I'm on tour with Insane Clown Posse right now doing commentary for Juggalo Championship wrestling. Come hang out if you can. And if you love the show, and we know you do, go to gas digital.com today. Use my promo code. Zoo. You save money off your subscription. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get to access access to the live chat, the archives. That's right. Thousands of episodes of all your favorite GAS shows. Plus you get our Friday episode. That's right. We do three of these a week. And you can only get the Friday episode if you're subscribed. So get the full Morning Zoo experience. Thank you so much to my guests, Chloe Labranche, Derek Drescher. That's the show. See ya on Wednesday. Goodbye.

[Shannon]

Him.

[Gas Digital Network Announcer]

Papa may Go chug it down just like your favorite OB clown. Grab a call be and join the crew. It's AO morning suit. It's a morning.