0061. Ian Fidance and Maddy Smith

Summary

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo — Episode 0061 with Ian Fidance & Maddy Smith Date: November 14, 2025 | GaS Digital Network

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Episode Overview

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo brings its signature blend of “unhinged” morning comedy chaos, riffing on weird news, wild personal stories, and cultural oddities. Zac is joined by comedians Ian Fidance (Being Ian with Jordan) and Maddy Smith (Madhouse Podcast) for a show packed with raunchy humor, tales of travel misadventures, dive-bar deep cuts, bizarre current events, and the trio’s darkly funny takes on everything from fast food incidents to genital body horror.

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Key Discussion Points & Segment Highlights

1. Comic Life Updates & Plugs

• Travel Hell: Zac recounts being stranded in Canada, missing his New York Comedy Fest show (02:26).
  • “Yesterday was a day from hell with the travel. Everything is a nightmare.” — Zac
• Upcoming Projects:
  • Ian announces his new YMH-produced travel/job show and lists live dates (03:40–04:40).
  • Maddy promotes Madhouse Podcast’s latest episode and comedy club appearances (04:42–05:04).

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2. Deep Dive: Regional Food and Soda Oddities

• Buffalo Culture Love: The comics riff on Buffalo’s unique food culture and Loganberry soda (06:09–07:27).
  • “I was telling Maddie, as a fellow admirer of the Buffalo culture, 716 turn up. I don’t mean fat chicks. I mean the city of Buffalo.” — Ian (06:09)
  • Loganberry soda’s exclusivity and flavor profile get debated, with digressions into Mormon soda bars (07:07–08:38).
  • Trending drinks like “dirty soda” with cold foam, and viral drink influencers are discussed.

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3. Viral Fads & Branding (09:02)

• Stanley Cup Hysteria: Discussion of the modern craze for branded drinkware, Starbucks lines, and “holiday cups” (09:02–10:11).
• Racist Logos & Nostalgia: Jokes about Aunt Jemima, Mrs. Butterworth, and the Land O’Lakes “knees to tits” meme (10:02–10:17).

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4. Family & Personal Dysfunction Stories

• Uncle Lore: Ian and Zac trade darkly hilarious stories about creepy/unhinged uncles and dysfunctional family holidays (11:05–13:32).
  • “My uncle might have been a creep and I’m being hidden from it.” — Ian (10:50)
  • Tales include falling asleep in airports, addiction, and Vietnam-veteran trauma.

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5. Weird News Roundup

Incident 1: McDonald’s Coffee Assault (15:23–17:24)

• [Video Segment] The trio commentate on a viral clip where a woman throws hot coffee at a McDonald’s manager, spinning a wildlife-documentary-style play-by-play.
  • “As you approach here, the female has taken an aggressive stance, holding the beverage within throwing distance.” — Ian (16:13)
  • The group jokes about injury severity, scam attempts, and the “C team” working late-night fast food (18:09).

Incident 2: “Prank” Gone Wrong – Man in Ex-GF’s Underwear (21:36–29:58)

• A man attacks his ex with a knife, wearing her underwear as a mask. Panel lampoons influencer culture and “content creator relationship” hell.
  • “Could you imagine a hell worse than being stuck in a content creator relationship where you constantly have to prank each other?” — Zac (21:48)
• Shannon drops shocking details: the man had been stalking her, hid in her bathroom, and claimed it was a “grand gesture” for dialogue.
  • “Not a bad strategy.” — Maddie Smith sarcastically (27:16)
  • “What kind of underwear did he have on his head...?” — Ian (28:08)

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6. Animal Mayhem: Murder Pigs Replacing Murder Dogs (32:23–33:50)

• [Video Segment] The usual “violent dog” content is swapped for wild hog attacks. The group riffs about the feralization of domesticated animals and how rapidly pigs can “go wild.”
  • “So if you take a domestic...like how girls can sync up their periods, they grow tusks.” — Ian (33:17)
  • Jokes follow comparing pig behavior to their single lives and bad breakups.

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7. Body Horror & NSFW Oddities: “Sounding” and Foreign Objects (42:31–51:05)

• Medical X-rays of a man who inserted a .45 caliber bullet in his urethra provoke a cascade of jokes and disbelief.
  • “Talk about going number one with a bullet!” — Zac (43:15)
  • Debate as to whether women “sound,” horrifying visual aids, and traumatic childhood internet videos.
  • Classic Ian overshare: “One time a girl put a headphone jack in it...” (45:28)
  • “My friend...did a sounding video, and he complained his piss had chunks of blood in it.” — Ian (46:12)

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8. Bizarre International Festivals: Indian Poop-Throwing (36:32–41:48)

• Review of a viral doc about an Indian festival where villagers throw and smear cow dung as celebration:
  • “And we’re sure that’s duty and not just mud?” — Ian (38:09)
  • “Italians have throwing tomatoes, Indians do the throwing of the…” — Zac (38:23)
  • Lively debate on what festivals cross the line from tradition to “stunt for YouTube.”

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9. Viral Beatdowns & Public All-in Brawls (51:12–54:02)

• [Video Segment] A man threatening a block with a gun is immediately swarmed and beaten up by masked clowns, wedding parties, and bystanders—double-take at the clown costumes.
  • “You wasted a couple bullets, big dog.” — Zac (51:43)

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10. Trans Rights, Gym Controversy, & Social Media Outrage (53:37–64:16)

• A gym dispute over a transgender woman using the women’s locker room ignites a heated and nuanced discussion.
  • “If you’re undergoing hormone therapy and making an effort to pass, you get the benefit of the doubt… but that is a man using women’s spaces under the guise of ‘I’m trans.’ That’s not okay.” — Zac (61:54)
• Discussion on weaponizing therapy, bad actors vs. genuine trans women, and the culture war’s effect on gym bathrooms.
  • “Just because you’re trans doesn’t make you a good person… It’s all about your actions.” — Zac (63:22)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Airport Sleeping:
  • “I got woken up on the floor of the St. Louis airport once. The lady goes, ‘You too big to get on the airplane’... at least let me wake up first.” — Ian (02:53)
• On Prank Video Culture:
  • “...could you imagine a hell worse than being stuck in a content creator relationship where you constantly have to prank each other?” — Zac (21:48)
• On Personal Trauma:
  • “My uncle might have been a creep and I’m being hidden from it.” — Ian (10:50)
• On Inserted Bullet:
  • “Talk about going number one with a bullet!” — Zac (43:15)
• On Trans Rights Dispute:
  • “That is a man using women’s spaces... fuck that guy.” — Zac (61:40)

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Additional Fun — Comics' Running Gags & Callbacks

• Fat Jokes & Self-Deprecation:
  • “My body is just a combination of King of the Hill characters. I am Hank’s ass on Bobby’s body.” — Ian (11:48)
• Bathroom Horror:
  • Ongoing jokes about disgusting rest stop McDonald’s and synchronized stomach symptoms from fast food.
• Cultural Oddities:
  • “Italians do the throwing of the tomatoes; the Indians do the throwing of the… don’t compare those two things.” — Zac & Maddie (38:23–38:28)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Buffalo/Loganberry Soda Discussion: 06:08–08:38
• McDonald's Coffee Assault Video: 15:23–17:24
• Ex Attacks Woman Wearing Her Panties as Mask: 21:36–29:58
• Murder Pigs Video & Animal Talk: 32:23–33:50
• Bullet-in-Urethra (X-ray Body Horror): 42:31–51:05
• Cow Dung Festival Video: 36:32–41:48
• Block Beatdown/Clown Costume Brawl: 51:12–54:02
• Trans Rights/Gym Locker Room Dispute: 53:37–64:16

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Tone & Language

• Uncensored, wild morning radio energy: irreverent, raunchy, self-deprecating, darkly comic.
• Panelists mock sacred cows—literal and metaphorical—with unfiltered candor; the comic rapport is quick, escalating, and collegial.
• Even when touching on intense topics (assault, gender rights, body horror), the hosts maintain comic detachment and a “nothing is sacred” attitude.

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Summary

This Morning Zoo episode is exactly as promised: way more out-of-control and entertaining than any regular morning radio show, with comedians riffing on viral “news of the weird,” personal horror stories, and the absurdity of modern culture. From Buffalo soda to “sounding,” McDonald’s scam artists to cross-dressing break-ins and public brawls with clowns, the episode steamrolls from one surreal highlight to the next. The comics’ real friendship, gallows humor, and ability to turn trauma into punchlines keep listeners laughing and incredulous in equal measure.

Transcript

[Zach Amico]

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[Zach Amico]

Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Ian Finance]

Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a your bed and join the crew It's Zach Amico morning suit. Hello, hello, hello. It is a Monday and it's your other boy, the international superstar. Welcome you to another edition of Zach Amico's morning zoo here on the gas Digital Network. A special hello to a sweet little boy who's out sick today. Lucas Twitch Desongro. My little man watching live because he's got some type of ache in his tummy or his head or his giant stupid penis. Across the table from me are two wonderful people who I love podcasting with from the madhouse podcast right here on the network, it's our good friend Maddie Smith.

[Maddie Smith]

Hey, everybody, thanks for having me.

[Ian Finance]

How are you?

[Maddie Smith]

I'm good. Happy Monday.

[Ian Finance]

Happy Monday. And next to him from being Eden, being Ian with Jordan, it is our good friend Ian Finance.

[Zach Amico]

Hi, everybody. Thanks for having me. I love you, Zach. I love you, Matty.

[Ian Finance]

I think Ian's microphone is a little weird. Can we make sure he's.

[Zach Amico]

It is.

[Maddie Smith]

Can you hear us?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's make sure. Let's make sure. There we go. We're going to fix Ian up.

[Zach Amico]

Hi, everybody. I love you, Zach. I love you, Maddie. Good to be here. Love you again.

[Ian Finance]

Good to see you, buddy. How are you, man?

[Zach Amico]

I'm wonderful. Yesterday was a day from hell with the travel. Everything is a nightmare. I got stuck in Canada and had to cancel my New York comedy fest show last night.

[Ian Finance]

I'm very sorry to hear that, pal.

[Zach Amico]

You know, what can you do?

[Maddie Smith]

What are you going to do?

[Ian Finance]

What are you going to do? Sometimes you just sleep on the floor.

[Zach Amico]

At the airport and you get woken up By Mom Donnie's relatives. And you live in Mom Donastan.

[Ian Finance]

I got woken up at the floor of the St. Louis airport once. Said it was a spirit flight because I didn't book it. The lady goes, excuse me, sir. She goes, yeah. She goes, you too big to get on the airplane. And I was like, you let me wake up first.

[Zach Amico]

Can you not yell it?

[Ian Finance]

There was no. But I think she was all telling me I was too big to sleep on the floor of the airport.

[Zach Amico]

There's so much room on the floor.

[Ian Finance]

Apparently I was taking a prime real estate.

[Zach Amico]

Or did it at least whisper it in your ear?

[Maddie Smith]

Excuse me.

[Ian Finance]

So rude.

[Zach Amico]

Excuse me, sir.

[Ian Finance]

Get out that book.

[Maddie Smith]

Sir.

[Zach Amico]

Sir, we're going to need a hug to move you.

[Ian Finance]

They can hear you snoring in the next terminal. This is going to be a fun day. Let's knock plugs right out of the way. Ian.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy. Fun announcement. My travel show, Ian do an odd guy doing odd Jobs is coming out and I partnered with ymh. They're producing the show. I'm so excited. Subscribe to my YouTube.YouTube.com Ian Finance Comedy to get that. When it comes out, I go to different towns, people show me how to do their jobs. I do their job, and it's very, very fun. So stoked on that. I'm pumped to be with ymh. It's going to be a good time. And I'm on the road every weekend till I die. Ianfinance.com for tickets, going to Minneapolis, D.C. skag Fest at the end of the year, December 31st, San Diego, American Comedy Company, Vancouver. And I'm going to Denver, Portland, Oregon. Portland, Maine, Seattle. So get tickets and sign up for my mailing list and be an inventured. And every Wednesday on YouTube.

[Ian Finance]

Very, very fun. Ms. Smith.

[Maddie Smith]

Hey, everybody. Check out Madhouse podcast here on Gas Digital. New episodes every Wednesday. This week we got freaking Anthony DeVito coming out. Also this Wednesday night, I'm headlining New York comedy club for the New York Comedy Fest. So grab tickets to that. Next week, I'm coming to Spokane, Tacoma, Washington, December. I'm coming to Atlanta and Providence, Rhode island, and I'll see you guys at Skank Fest this weekend.

[Ian Finance]

Very fun.

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Ian Finance]

Did you have something to contribute?

[Zach Amico]

No, I was just excited.

[Ian Finance]

Okay. You open your mouth like you had something.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I didn't want to. I was excited.

[Ian Finance]

I didn't interrupt you. Hey, guys. I'll be at Skank Fest after that. I'm flying to Detroit for free Juggalo championship wrestling taping. So come Hang out. It should be super fun. If you love the show, go to gas digital.com today. Use the promo code zoom. Get yourself a little bit of money off your subscription. Get episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the live chat, you get the archives, thousands of episodes of all your favorite guest shows and you get our Friday episode. That's right. We do three of these suckers a week and you only get the Friday show if you're subscribed. So thank you so much. However you consume the show, I appreciate also one more shout out to all my good friends at the dispensary in Denver called the health center for hooking me up with a big ass thing of edibles. I took 100 milligrams last night.

[Maddie Smith]

Nice.

[Ian Finance]

And I am still high.

[Maddie Smith]

Good.

[Ian Finance]

I'm feeling good on a Monday. Oh, boy.

[Zach Amico]

Scary.

[Ian Finance]

No, it's great. I can handle it. I'm a big boy. So we do have. I was telling Maddie, as a fellow admirer of the Buffalo culture, 716 turn up. I don't mean fat chicks. I mean the city of Buffalo.

[Maddie Smith]

716 pounds turned up.

[Ian Finance]

Mafia.

[Maddie Smith]

Table slamming, table slam. This just by leaning on them. Those fat chick.

[Ian Finance]

Hey, it's cold out there, man. You need a buffalo of the land of just don't come inside me.

[Maddie Smith]

Yep, exactly.

[Ian Finance]

Not a condom to be found.

[Maddie Smith]

Nope.

[Ian Finance]

They'll freeze right off. It doesn't matter.

[Maddie Smith]

Exactly. Trying to stay warm.

[Ian Finance]

Got very excited. Shannon, you can look this up. A treat of only Buffalo. The loganberry soda.

[Maddie Smith]

Yes.

[Ian Finance]

Now gonna be canned and distributed. And loganberry soda and Logan berry lemonade.

[Zach Amico]

You heard it here first, folks.

[Maddie Smith]

And so where you can order it online.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, it's going to be the Johnny Ryan soda company.

[Maddie Smith]

We should get some for the pod.

[Zach Amico]

Is Logan Bear.

[Maddie Smith]

It's like a juice soda. It's basically a flat soda. And the colors go crazy. The colors make it taste better than it is.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

And it's like what they have on. It's like a buffalo, like on tap with Coke, Sprite, everything else. And for some reason they don't make it anywhere else.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. What flavor is it?

[Maddie Smith]

It's like.

[Ian Finance]

I don't know, it's like almost like a sour ber.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, it's like a juice dark juice.

[Zach Amico]

It's kind of like in Utah and a bunch of those. The states surrounding it because Mormons can't drink caffeine.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, they have soda bars.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they have soda.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they have like this cottage industry of these. They, they, they call. Oh, they call it like Barbie water. In the morning, though, instead of coffee, they'll have like a pink soda that all the moms put in their Stanley cups.

[Ian Finance]

And everyone's just, oh, yeah, I watch those videos. It'll be a girl with nails that are like nine inches long.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

And they're putting eight different sweetener shots in their water, dude. And then people, all the comments will be like, just drink water.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, I know.

[Zach Amico]

Do we? So on we were on the road with Bert and I think we were in like Yakima, Washington, or I forget what state we're in, but this. And I forget the name, but a soda bar pop up. Truck came to the venue, gave us all these sodas, and the guy has like millions of followers because every morning he wakes up, oh, is it the rolling? Yeah, a 20 sided die and rolls it and gets to make like these different drinks. And everybody's like, roll a seven, please roll a seven. I'm tuning in tomorrow to see if you rolled a seven. And it's huge.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, huge.

[Ian Finance]

I was just, I just showed Mrs. Amico that because I was. We were trying to figure out where the dirty soda trend came from. That's like brand new. Yeah, yeah, they put like cream, cream in the soda now like Taco Bell has.

[Zach Amico]

They're. Yeah, now so good.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. And Starbucks along with them with the cold foam on top. Now everyone's doing that.

[Ian Finance]

What is the Starbucks thing that all these bitches lined up for the Stanley Cups? That's it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, this week.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, it was this week, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Some woman at the airport, but in front of me lives like, I just have a question. Sorry. And then she was like, do you have this? Do you guys have this? It was like some hello Kitty thing.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

Like, no, let's call the other terminal. And they're just waiting there. And I'm like, can I just please get one coffee? And like. Sir, sir, sir, she just has a.

[Maddie Smith]

Question, so I'm sorry, she needs a cup. They're waiting on a cup.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, I saw it was like a line, but it was first come, first serve, but no limit. So people were buying them out at the front of the line.

[Shannon]

It looks like it's a holiday cup. You can share this.

[Ian Finance]

Show it to me.

[Shannon]

It's a glass cup.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's what it is.

[Maddie Smith]

Kind of like it.

[Zach Amico]

That just looks like a honey jar.

[Maddie Smith]

You got this honey jar.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Honey really beats syrup. Out on having a not racist shaped jar.

[Maddie Smith]

Facts.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta go eat racist about honey.

[Ian Finance]

I don't know, but what's racist about syrup?

[Maddie Smith]

Pancakes.

[Ian Finance]

They don't got pancakes. White women have pancakes. Well, angemima, I'm aware, but Mrs. Buttersworth too.

[Zach Amico]

Did you ever see the Land O Lakes thing?

[Maddie Smith]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

My stepdad showed me this thing where you can cut, you could cut her knees out and make them tits or.

[Ian Finance]

You fold them over.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

So funny.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that was cool.

[Maddie Smith]

Sick ass uncle.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, no, my uncle. Well, my uncle. My uncle's big thing was the assume thing because he was a jerk off.

[Zach Amico]

Oh. When you assume, you make an ass out of you.

[Ian Finance]

He would make you draw it. What? Yeah, because he wasn't, he wasn't sure if you got.

[Zach Amico]

Draw an ass.

[Ian Finance]

No, draw the work.

[Zach Amico]

You draw your own porn?

[Ian Finance]

Yes. He would make me draw me naked and then take it up to his room and stick it to the wall. That's what he did every time? No, I'm vaguely. I think my uncle might have been a creep and I'm being hidden from it.

[Zach Amico]

How? What do you mean?

[Ian Finance]

Because I wasn't allowed over there a lot. And then one time. Man, I'm gonna get in trouble for this. One time I was staying at my grandma's and I got up in the middle of the night to piss and I just had on like boxer briefs and a guinea tape and your uncle.

[Zach Amico]

Was standing at the toilet.

[Ian Finance]

No, he was dead already. He was dead already.

[Zach Amico]

Bullseye.

[Ian Finance]

No, but I guess the next morning. The next morning, I guess my aunt saw me get up and piss. Like, I closed the door. I wasn't an animal. And the next day my mom was like, listen, your aunt's very upset. She saw you in your underwear last night. You have to wear a full set of pajamas and a T shirt. And I was like, that's weird.

[Zach Amico]

I'm like 20 uncle, the creeper. Your aunt?

[Ian Finance]

Well, no. Cause then I told my dad, he's like, ah. What were you walking around with a hard on like your uncle? And I was like, oh, something creepy happened. Yeah, yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

So they're gonna. So they blame you.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, of course it's my fault for.

[Maddie Smith]

Walking around like a slut.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

Instead of the uncle.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The fat little is.

[Ian Finance]

I have no. I, I, I am. My body is just a combination of King of the Hill characters. I am Hank's ass on Bobby's body. It is a nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

It is private.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. With Hank's urethra.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, my, my uncle ended up having to move back in with my grandparents when he was like 50 something and he was addicted to coke and, and my grandfather walked in on him doing Coke in his underwear in his like childhood bedroom. And he, when he, when he like he walked in on him like snorting the coke and then he saw him and grabbed his cane and was like, started like wobble. And my grandfather thought he was like fucking the cane. Like, I'll never forget. He's like, he was doing something with that damn cane.

[Maddie Smith]

What have I seen? Shuts the door quietly.

[Ian Finance]

You can't be.

[Zach Amico]

I guess he was like so, so, so like in denial that my son is doing coke. That it was a better option to think that he was just like rubbing up on his cane.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

You buried the lead when you also said your 50 year old uncle was a cocaine addict who walked with a cane.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

And lives in his childhood bedroom. That's three things. That's three bad combinations.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, Vietnam buddy, you know what?

[Ian Finance]

He's forgiven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's one generation that was allowed to. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, we abandoned them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Vietnam fucked him up, dude. Fucked him up.

[Ian Finance]

Now what's the excuse for the rest of you? For me, the rest of the finances.

[Zach Amico]

I've been trying to figure it out.

[Ian Finance]

Were you all in Vietnam? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Our own versions of Vietnam.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Different types of flashbacks.

[Ian Finance]

All right, we got a bunch of silly stories to do today. Let's keep it light. Did you guys see this woman toss hot coffee at her McDonald's manager?

[Maddie Smith]

No.

[Ian Finance]

Well, they're having an argument about a refund and I guess she wanted to use a card and then get refunded. Money back cash as opposed to it going back to her card.

[Maddie Smith]

Okay, so it's a customer.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, yes. Using the McDonald's as an ATM.

[Ian Finance]

Trying to use McDonald's as an ATM when they have one, but who is the time?

[Zach Amico]

Service charges.

[Ian Finance]

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[Zach Amico]

I had a feeling.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, don't throw it.

[Maddie Smith]

I'm freaking out.

[Zach Amico]

Either don't throw it or throw it. Just hurry up, get to it.

[Ian Finance]

I'm so nervous. Pause. Isn't it like watching like a leopard stalk a gazelle? Just watching a manager at a McDonald's Just not know.

[Maddie Smith]

It's very wildlife.

[Ian Finance]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

It's easy. Easy.

[Ian Finance]

As you approach here, the female has taken an aggressive stance. Holding the beverage. Holding the beverage within throwing distance. This can only mean one thing. In this community.

[Zach Amico]

She has cloaked herself in comfortability for her prey by wearing her own pajamas.

[Maddie Smith]

Pajamas and slides. Classic defense mechanism.

[Ian Finance]

Keep it going.

[Maddie Smith]

Here we go. I kind of don't want to see it.

[Ian Finance]

Follow the aggression.

[Zach Amico]

She's using her slighter hand trick by saying, see here, See, See he.

[Maddie Smith]

A little show of force.

[Ian Finance]

Out of the way. Backpack.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, at least I hit her like in the back.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, what she say something Hot ass.

[Maddie Smith]

Coffee get you hot? At least it wasn't right in her face. More on her back.

[Ian Finance]

That's still. I bet that's burn.

[Maddie Smith]

That's a brighter side.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, I think that's. That's. Yeah, not like horrific burns, but that'll fuck you up.

[Zach Amico]

Rather it burns on my back than my face.

[Ian Finance]

Of course. That's got to suck.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

If you have burn and people like, oh, my God, whatever. You had a fire, like. No, I worked at McDonald's. Yeah, McDonald's.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

What do you think?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I worked at the McDonald's in Fallujah. Iraq. No, Michigan. Dude, that is. And also it sucks because a woman walked out. So you can't retaliate.

[Maddie Smith]

No.

[Ian Finance]

So they just. Shannon, if you want to look it up. I believe they just identified her and have her. And I don't know if they're pressing charges.

[Shannon]

It said that they were able to identify her within minutes because they received several tips on her identity. So they do have her.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, because she was in the parking lot on Instagram Live.

[Ian Finance]

Doing a vertical video. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Did they, did they. Do they have like a mug shot? Is she arrested or what's gonna happen to her? Probably nothing.

[Shannon]

That's. I just know that they have her.

[Ian Finance]

I watch. I remember years ago watching somebody try and do a very similar scam at McDonald's in real life. It was a. I don't want to say a lady, but a lady who was easily in her 50s, who was with her mother and it looked like it was the mom's job to run the show still. Yeah, well, Gypsy Rose situation, something like that. And they were at McDonald's and it was early in the morning and I remember they were trying to order rolls with butter.

[Zach Amico]

And gotta get them butter rolls.

[Ian Finance]

They don't have that.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Ian Finance]

So then they gave them, I think just like buns with butter.

[Zach Amico]

That's nice.

[Ian Finance]

And then they were like, this is what we wanted to roll. We want a buttered roll. And they're like, we don't make that. So then they ate it and then asked for their money back because it wasn't what they wanted.

[Zach Amico]

Classic scam.

[Ian Finance]

And yeah, and I remember just that. I think it was at that point they were like, listen, we're either going to have an 80 year old woman and a large special needs woman screaming or we're going to take this $4 hit.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, just get them for five bucks.

[Ian Finance]

But unfortunately get them out what I refer to as the C team who was working at McDonald's, which is when you ask them a question, they go. See, because if you go to a 24 hour McDonald's when they switch from dinner to breakfast.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude, the best. The best is rest stop McDonald's.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Coming in late night, early morning. They just don't even know where they are. Please help me.

[Maddie Smith]

I'll just go back there. Yeah, I'll make a Big Mac.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, God. But I would go.

[Ian Finance]

And they switch.

[Zach Amico]

Did they turn into Michael Douglas in Falling Down?

[Ian Finance]

No, but what would happen to. All the bars in Bay Ridge would close as it switched. So then it would just be drunk, hammered drunk dudes trying to get hamburgers and just one leg. No, he's breakfast. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. E breakfast. But I got to tell you, if you have the option of breakfast over burgers and you're not taking it, I don't trust you.

[Maddie Smith]

I like their breakfast way better.

[Ian Finance]

Drunk McDonald's breakfast.

[Zach Amico]

Drunk McD hour. You're going breakfast, sandwich, sandwich.

[Ian Finance]

I think 100.

[Maddie Smith]

It's gonna be better for you. Eggs will soak that right up.

[Ian Finance]

No. Yeah, but you're gonna. Diabolical gas, dude.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Powdered eggs, dude. McGrowed eggs.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh. Every time I have a McGriddle, like an hour later.

[Ian Finance]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

You're welcome.

[Ian Finance]

Appreciate it.

[Maddie Smith]

I don't know if you were getting up, what I was putting down.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I wasn't.

[Ian Finance]

You got hot. You gotta put hot sauce on it.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What's that make you?

[Maddie Smith]

Talking about New Orleans?

[Ian Finance]

It sounds like one of those parades going down.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

When I fought, everyone around me is a po Boy.

[Maddie Smith]

Hey, wait. Little gumbo.

[Ian Finance]

Excuse me. I made a little etouffee.

[Shannon]

Oh.

[Ian Finance]

I think.

[Zach Amico]

I think my ass is haunted.

[Ian Finance]

I do. I do. The clap. My asshole has the vapors. All right. Keeping it moving. All right, I want to see how we feel about this. Man attacks ex girlfriend with a knife. Wearing her underwear as a mask. As a prank. I see nothing wrong with this headline.

[Maddie Smith]

Funny as fuck.

[Zach Amico]

Gotta have fun.

[Ian Finance]

You gotta keep it. You gotta keep.

[Zach Amico]

YouTube creators are getting wild.

[Ian Finance]

You gotta keep it light. Unless he was really trying to kill her and then went, it's a joke, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Could you imagine a hell worse than being stuck in a content creator relationship where you constantly have to prank each other?

[Maddie Smith]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Like, you ever seen those videos where it's just like, the husband and wife?

[Ian Finance]

Or you have to pretend that you don't know you're about to be pranked.

[Zach Amico]

Or you have to pretend like you don't want to. Brian, Laundry.

[Maddie Smith]

Your girlfriend, they're always pranking each other.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

In the car. And he's like, babe, chick Fil A is closed. And she's. No, it's not.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

And it's like a whole minute of her crying like some dumb. Like that. But she obviously knows. I know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but then you have to go along with it.

[Maddie Smith]

You have to go along with it.

[Zach Amico]

Like, is this ever going to end?

[Maddie Smith]

It's never going to end.

[Ian Finance]

My least favorite girl. When they tell their girl they can't have something and they turn into children.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Like, all right, I'm going to go. I'm going to go into Target. You stay here. I want to walk around Target. I love walking around Target. Or it'll be like, hey, I got Starbucks.

[Zach Amico]

Did you?

[Ian Finance]

Which. Oh, I didn't get you anything.

[Maddie Smith]

Yes, exactly.

[Ian Finance]

Get me a sweet treat. Shopify's point of sale system helps you sell at every stage of your business. Need a fast and secure way to take payments in person. We've got you covered.

[Zach Amico]

How about card readers you can rely.

[Ian Finance]

On anywhere you sell.

[Shannon]

Thanks.

[Ian Finance]

Have a good one. Yep, that too. Want one place to manage all your online and in person sales? That's kind of our thing.

[Shannon]

Wherever you sell businesses that grow grow with Shopify.

[Zach Amico]

Sign up for your $1 a month [e-mail] signature shopify.com.

[Ian Finance]

Listen, those women should be shot in.

[Maddie Smith]

The car with fish eye lens on them so they look even smaller.

[Ian Finance]

That I hate that my number one I hate is the Italian guy whose wife makes him food.

[Zach Amico]

Just stopped at Italian.

[Ian Finance]

The guy, she'll like, break the spaghetti in half or something like that. And he acts like she shot a puppy.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, okay.

[Ian Finance]

I'm your body now. This is no good. Or she'll, like, take him to the Olive Garden and he'll like me. Oh, my God. Please. No.

[Zach Amico]

Our algorithms are very different.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, that's.

[Zach Amico]

Well, the prank shows I see are like these little Afghan people that, like, one little guy has a big long mustache. There's like a big fat African guy that always sleeps on a couch. And they put like, palm olive on the floor. They wake him up, but then they tie a rope from the black guy's foot to another little Afghan guy, and when he runs out, it takes the.

[Ian Finance]

Other guy who every time he's like, you just watching. African jackass.

[Maddie Smith]

Very cartoony. Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

The ones I always think are the family that, like, prank each other with, like, shaving cream. Like the balloons that fall down.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Any toilet break is going to be funny. Cellophane on the toilet. Always works.

[Maddie Smith]

Always works. I get a lot of the golf club when they put a fake snake on the golf course and the dads freak out.

[Zach Amico]

Or like when they make noises on the backswing.

[Maddie Smith]

Yep, yep.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

It's so mad.

[Ian Finance]

Get out of here, buddy. One of my favorites is enraged Italian Dad. It's just two brothers that lie to their dad about bullshit. But it's just like, you know when your parent is inexplicably bad at a thing that out of context shouldn't be an emotional response.

[Zach Amico]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Ian Finance]

They'll be like, hey, I'm gonna borrow the car. I'm gonna go get Gatorade. It's like one in the morning, and it's just this poor exasperated man be like, what are you fucking Gatorade for?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, I've seen that. I've seen the one with a British dad that's always doing stuff around the house and the son will like, paint his arm or something. You bastard.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, I love that they don't show the dad. Right. They just hear his voice.

[Ian Finance]

Love that. You bastard. Shannon, can you tell us more about this guy who attacked his chick with a knife wearing her underwear?

[Shannon]

Yeah. So after they broke up, he got obsessed with her. He started stalking.

[Ian Finance]

Okay, after they broke up, it sounds a little different. Less of a prank. It's not a prank if you don't live there.

[Maddie Smith]

It's real.

[Shannon]

So he was stalking her at her job and when she was out with her friends. So this one night, she was out with friends after work. She stopped home to change her clothes before she was gonna leave again. When she walked into her house, she encountered him emerging from her bathroom. Her underwear was draped over his head to conceal his identity. And he was wielding a large knife and otherwise nude from the waist down.

[Ian Finance]

I bet she knew it was him.

[Shannon]

So he.

[Ian Finance]

I bet. I bet when the guy came out with her underwear on his head, naked with a knife, she got me again. She went, I bet that's the guy that's been stalking me. I have a hint.

[Zach Amico]

And so he got caught and said it was a prank.

[Shannon]

No. So then he advanced, quote, at a rapid pace. While brandishing the weapon, the plaintiff managed to pry the knife from his grasp. And then there was a physical struggle, which led to her taking the underwear off of his face, exposing his identity.

[Ian Finance]

Steve.

[Shannon]

And at that point, he started, how.

[Ian Finance]

Big is this girl's ass that she couldn't figure. Figure out who he is under her underwear?

[Zach Amico]

It must have been granny panties.

[Shannon]

He then started muttering uncontrollably at the point where his face was revealed. And the woman fled from her home and called the police. And it was at that point that he tried to say that he was doing this so that he could, like, ease the tension between them and open up space for them to have a conversation.

[Maddie Smith]

Not a bad strategy.

[Ian Finance]

Okay, sure. It was a bit of a Hail Mary.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[Zach Amico]

What Coping skills.

[Maddie Smith]

You're upset.

[Ian Finance]

You know what?

[Maddie Smith]

Just show it.

[Ian Finance]

Did she realize that they're supposed to be together?

[Zach Amico]

That's so funny that he was like, I just wanted to open up a dialogue.

[Maddie Smith]

Let's talk.

[Ian Finance]

I've been in therapy, and my therapist suggested. Yeah, I make a grand gesture to open up the dialogue.

[Zach Amico]

I'm showing I care. I'm showing I'm willing to do what it takes.

[Ian Finance]

I like the pacing of the story, though, is like, she didn't know who it. Like, I'm pretty sure.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. I mean, if his pants were off. Right?

[Ian Finance]

That's. I was also Gonna say, I bet you know his penis.

[Maddie Smith]

Any guy you know his arms, she might know his.

[Ian Finance]

His lovemaking penis.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Not his I'm hiding in the bathroom penis. Those might be two very different penis.

[Maddie Smith]

Actually.

[Zach Amico]

Harder.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

Rock hard.

[Ian Finance]

And also I want to know what kind of underwear he had on his head that she had to figure out who it was.

[Zach Amico]

It had to be granny period panties.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, yeah, the panties used once a month. Rite Aid.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. The one came in plastic.

[Maddie Smith]

Yep.

[Ian Finance]

Hanes 8 pack.

[Zach Amico]

Can we have a look at what this guy looks like?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I can show you what he looks like.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, whoa. I wasn't expecting.

[Zach Amico]

I wasn't expecting that either.

[Ian Finance]

Nah, I figured a creepy white.

[Maddie Smith]

I was thinking creep. I was thinking more of a fat dude.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I was expecting like fat people.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, no, that's fine.

[Maddie Smith]

Like fat, disgusting. This guy's.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, no, this is a different kind of creep. This is a. Yeah, a guy who's never been told no before.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Like, what was that guy?

[Ian Finance]

Who?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Brock Turner.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, yeah, the rapist.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, it's got that vibe too.

[Maddie Smith]

Stanford rapist. Yeah, it looks like that. Yeah. All right, well, is she in jail now?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. I would like to see if she's worth stalking.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, right. Just to see if the underwear is too fat. That's all I want to see.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. What does it smell like in there? Just. I'm just out of curiosity.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, what a buddy. The door on that. I don't think she's a pretty good friend anymore.

[Maddie Smith]

Sounds like an off med situation.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, yeah, that could be.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

What did he get charged? Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Tomfoolery.

[Shannon]

Assault and battery of a high aggravated nature first degree burglary and possession of a weapon during a violent crime.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, you got burglary for the underpants. You can't steal.

[Zach Amico]

Stealing my idea. Hack. Call me back, Michelle.

[Ian Finance]

I just want to talk. All right, moving on. I got another fun video. So we usually do murder dogs here on the show. Why? We look at violent dogs. Okay, but we're not gonna do murder dogs today.

[Zach Amico]

To get through my stint at the airport yesterday, I just obsessively watched cat videos to calm me down.

[Maddie Smith]

Nice.

[Ian Finance]

Yep.

[Maddie Smith]

Like on Instagram Reels or YouTuber Reels.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah, I'll do that too.

[Zach Amico]

Save them to my folder called cats.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, good, you'll need that now that ridiculousness is over.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. He died, right?

[Shannon]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

Poor guy.

[Maddie Smith]

Rest in power. Rob Dyrdek.

[Zach Amico]

He's now with you.

[Ian Finance]

These were big now.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

What was it? 36 seasons, something like that. Something.

[Maddie Smith]

And he was making 30 million a year.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Maddie Smith]

On that show. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

By just going, oh, next.

[Maddie Smith]

Actually, this next category is called Big Dogs.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Oh, and Chanel going.

[Ian Finance]

Mark Mothersbau said they made more money being the theme song of that show than they did in any. On any record.

[Maddie Smith]

Absolutely.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Ian Finance]

Because Uncontrollable Urge is the theme song to that. And he said that show plays so many times a day that the check on Uncontrollable Urge is like twice as much as like whip it generational.

[Maddie Smith]

Well, that's because they.

[Zach Amico]

They Viacom turned MTV into just. Yeah, it's just 24 hour ridiculousness.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

But he's saying that they play it so much that is just. He never has to do anything ever again.

[Zach Amico]

What is that the ones like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Finance]

It's Uncontrollable Urge. Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

Syndicated, baby.

[Ian Finance]

Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Small batch cigar. Simple, fast, small batch. Having cigars in the house is a sign of a classy individual, in my opinion. And small batch cigar can get you classy cigars quick as hell. They have free shipping on every order and almost every order arrives within two to three days in the continental United States. It's the most thorough packaging in the industry. Comes with that Boveda pack. So your cigars come super fresh. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited and hard to find cigars. And you get 5% rewards points instantly. So go to smallbatch cigar.com today, most people click the new button first to shop the newest arrivals and use our discount code. Gas 10. Gas 10 for 10 off. Plus those 5% rewards points. Simple, fast, small batch, small batch cigar. All right, let's go back into the show. So instead of murder dogs today, we've got murder pigs.

[Zach Amico]

Nice cat.

[Maddie Smith]

Okay, couple of pigs.

[Ian Finance]

Oh. Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Is that a pig or a dog?

[Ian Finance]

That's a boar.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, jeez.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Finance]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Finance]

Hold on. I saw this in the Denny's video.

[Zach Amico]

This is footage from Dallas bbq. Oh, my God.

[Maddie Smith]

Looks awful. He's hitting him with his feet.

[Ian Finance]

So the next time somebody says don't eat pigs, if they could, they take a bite out of you. By the way. We didn't. Did we learn that on this show, Shannon, that if you take a domesticated pig and let it run wild with boars, it starts to grow tusks.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Ian Finance]

So if you take a domestic, like.

[Zach Amico]

How girls can sync up their periods.

[Ian Finance]

They grow tusks and the spiky back hair.

[Maddie Smith]

Same Thing I got the back hair on the tusks.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. It'll start growing. Wait. Yes. A domestic pig will grow tusks if it becomes feral. In the wild, all pigs have tusks, but they're often trimmed or domestic. On domestic animals, when domestic pig is no longer captivity, will develop the tusk, a thicker coat, and more aggressive behavior within a few months.

[Maddie Smith]

That's pretty cool.

[Zach Amico]

It's like me when I'm single.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, I was going say relapsing.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not with another pig.

[Maddie Smith]

I'll grow some toast.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, E. The pig's being manic on Facebook. We gotta find them. Oh, no, Ian's. Ian's going around pornography bookstores.

[Zach Amico]

That. That. The sound of that video is just. I. I don't know. I. There's. Did you ever see the video of the pit bull attacking a guy and it's killing him, and it's recorded by two Mexican women in a car, and you just hear the man screaming in the background. But more than anything, you hear the women narrating it, and it's just a woman going, I, Belinda. No, no.

[Ian Finance]

But I love.

[Zach Amico]

It's so funny. And I told a friend about it, and we. We were on a ski trip, and they were like, the whole weekend, the in joke was just going like, I Belinda. And then I finally sent the video to my buddy, and he's in the living room. I'm upstairs, and they're watching it, but he had it on mute. So it's just a video of a guy getting mauled to death. And everyone circled around the phone like, what are you watching? And he just goes, oh, Ian sent it to me. And everyone's like, that's so up. And I run downstairs. I'm like, no, no, I Belinda, we.

[Ian Finance]

Don'T want to watch. Then I look like the freak you still were. Yeah, most likely. But that's okay. That's why we love you.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a freak on a leash.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. That's what. That's why what we love so much about you.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you.

[Shannon]

Zach, I think you might have that sound clip.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, no, I have this. I know. Was that from that?

[Shannon]

It's so close, though. I just needed to hear it. Oh, look, he's making him suck his own dick.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Finance]

That's from a great day where we watched a man get beheaded and his own shoved in his mouth.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, see? Yeah. No, they're not all. Yeah, it could have been a lot worse than Murder Dogs. Ian.

[Zach Amico]

Where. What video was that from?

[Ian Finance]

It Was some cartel or something? No, no, he was masturbating. It was a. It was by request. Wait, it was like a weird, like, fetish cabal.

[Zach Amico]

He asked.

[Ian Finance]

He's jerking off? No, no.

[Shannon]

What?

[Ian Finance]

No. He's jerking off.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Ian Finance]

Then gets beheaded and he asked for that. They ate him.

[Zach Amico]

Duh.

[Ian Finance]

And then they take his head and they put it on his dick for a little while.

[Zach Amico]

What a. What a weird ending to Lord of the Flies.

[Ian Finance]

How'd you know they were Indian? Did you see the filmmaker who. Who's now not going to put out that poop doc? The poop festival documentary?

[Shannon]

What?

[Ian Finance]

No, there's some Indian festival where they throw doo doo at each other and.

[Zach Amico]

Some influence in Indian street food videos.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. Then they turn the Fanta over and it's frozen.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

No, it's like a festival or something. And some influence went to make a movie and he got threatened by a bunch of people that it was going to make, I think them look uncultured and possibly gross.

[Zach Amico]

Where were they filming this? In Toronto.

[Ian Finance]

Shan. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Shannon]

So I just looked it up and it said there were a bunch of articles saying what you're saying, but there seems to be one released today that his name is Tyler Oliveira, and it said that he did release it in spite being doxed and threatened.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, good.

[Zach Amico]

Well, let's see it.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. Can we see it here?

[Shannon]

One second. Let me just make it bigger.

[Zach Amico]

Let's see the trailer.

[Shannon]

Well, this. I think this is.

[Ian Finance]

So much.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. Fully loaded.

[Ian Finance]

At a poop throwing festival in India where the. The villagers spend six months collecting cow poop and celebrate the end of Diwali by throwing it at each other and.

[Zach Amico]

Rubbing it on their skin.

[Ian Finance]

Is this how you get an Uber medallion?

[Maddie Smith]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Finance]

And. And we're sure that that's duty and not just mud. And he's. He's being mean to these poor poop covered men.

[Zach Amico]

No, you can tell it's poop.

[Ian Finance]

I feel like that's an expert. I feel that's an expert opinion.

[Zach Amico]

Italians do the throwing of the tomatoes and the Indians do the throwing of the.

[Ian Finance]

Don't compare those two things.

[Maddie Smith]

If you worship the cow.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

Don't they worship cows and stuff? Yeah, but still, maybe the poop is duty, obviously, but maybe the poop for them is like gold. Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

What are they, cam girls?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And in some parts of Africa, they use dung to, you know, build their huts, and here they just use it to throw at each other. Zach, why are you so judgy so xenophobic. Yeah. God, yes. Actually, that video is just my polling place after I voted for mom Donnie.

[Ian Finance]

That's the new Department of Health for New York.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. Historian Steinway Street, Little Egypt.

[Ian Finance]

Wait, Shannon, bring that back up. It's the day after Diwali where the festival prison playfully throwing or smearing cow dung on one another. Part of a local rich. Playfully is celebrated by Kannada Canadians. People in the similarly named Gumtum Purim village in Tavaldi. Talk of a road district. Gross. You can't. That's gotta.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, it's nasty.

[Ian Finance]

Don't they get sick?

[Zach Amico]

I mean. Yeah, it's fucked up. It's gross. It's disgusting.

[Ian Finance]

It's fucking blowing my mind that we.

[Zach Amico]

Can'T be so funny if you just saw a couple creeps there in gimp suits. Like, like sex tourism for weirdos.

[Ian Finance]

Oh man, that. That looks.

[Zach Amico]

But it's. Why is it only men that are doing it?

[Ian Finance]

They don't want to give women.

[Maddie Smith]

There is mostly men.

[Ian Finance]

They don't want to give women that kind of pleasure.

[Maddie Smith]

A lot of activities. There are mostly men.

[Ian Finance]

The women aren't clean enough to throw at each other in their culture. Dude. That would purify them.

[Zach Amico]

Because they don't want to rape someone covered in.

[Ian Finance]

Because I used to watch like the mondo Mo. Like did you ever see like any of those like fake document. They would be like mondo cane and shit like that. They would. They were like from the 70s and 80s, but they would go to like piss poor third world countries and be like, look how crazy they are over here. Like them like showering and cow piss and stuff like that. But then people later found out that it was just filmmakers going and paying the people to do gross shit that they were making up like bum fights.

[Zach Amico]

But for other cultures.

[Ian Finance]

Yes. Terrible and shanky. There was one that was a cow shit one and I think it was an African village. So that's what I got confused with. I thought maybe he was going off that legend or the. The. The false one. Yeah. Cannibal holocaust is a fake Mondo movie.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. That means nothing to you.

[Maddie Smith]

They would go in and they would.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

Take people eating each other and stuff.

[Ian Finance]

Yes. Yeah, yes.

[Maddie Smith]

What in like the mid 20th century.

[Ian Finance]

Like early 70s, 80s.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

What was the name of that guy documentary that tried to live among the cannibals? Oh, the last picture is him like shirtless on a boat with them.

[Ian Finance]

Wasn't he like a Rothschild or some.

[Zach Amico]

Guy in the background is like a stick.

[Ian Finance]

It's some super rich family, like a Dupont or a Rothschild or something like that. Yeah, they ate him.

[Zach Amico]

Totally ate him. Wouldn't you?

[Ian Finance]

Shannon, did you find that?

[Zach Amico]

Finally get a piece of white paper.

[Shannon]

The movie that you're talking about or.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, the Mondo Kane thing.

[Shannon]

Okay, that one I wasn't able to find yet. But is the movie called ravenous?

[Ian Finance]

No.

[Shannon]

1999.

[Ian Finance]

No, it would not be the fictional movie Ravenous about the Donner party.

[Shannon]

Oh, okay.

[Ian Finance]

Starring Jeffrey Jones, who's not allowed to be in things anymore.

[Shannon]

And then also Green Inferno was another one that came out.

[Ian Finance]

That would be a modern movie by Eli Roth. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Don't sweat it. We're going to move on. All right, let's keep it light. Man inserted a bullet into his urethra.

[Maddie Smith]

Nice. What follows? What am I? Oh, there it is.

[Ian Finance]

Foreign body Friday. Man inserted a.45 caliber bullet into his urethra, leading to pain and swelling. Self asserted, foreign objects can cause severe infection, bleeding and even urethral rupture.

[Maddie Smith]

I hate it. Is that the end of his dick right there?

[Ian Finance]

Well, so looking at it as you look at the hip bones connected to the PP and you can see the head of his penis scrunched up. No, just laying to the side. He dresses to the right. And that is a.45 caliber bullet he stuffed.

[Maddie Smith]

Why would you do that? Oh, you try to get it through.

[Ian Finance]

Talk about going number one with a bullet. What? Talk about going number one with a bullet.

[Maddie Smith]

Going down, down in an earlier round.

[Ian Finance]

Talk about going number one with a bullet.

[Maddie Smith]

Pissing. What number one is it?

[Zach Amico]

Fall Out Boy.

[Maddie Smith]

No, I mean that is in the Fall Boy song. I don't think that's.

[Ian Finance]

Turn a phrase. Number one with a bullet. Like on radio stations.

[Maddie Smith]

Number one with a bullet.

[Zach Amico]

A loaded God complex. Cock it and pull it.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

You don't know the phrase number one with a bullet?

[Zach Amico]

Never heard it my entire life.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, it's like on radio stations, Zach was making a piss joke and it was a. It was a pun because number one is also P. But they say number.

[Zach Amico]

One with a bullet.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. If it's like if a song's going up the charts. Number one with a bullet.

[Zach Amico]

I've never heard that before.

[Ian Finance]

Shannon, look it up.

[Zach Amico]

Do it again. Do it. Say it again.

[Ian Finance]

No, no, Shannon, look it up, the term and see if I got this right.

[Zach Amico]

Say it again.

[Ian Finance]

Just talk about going number one with a bullet.

[Zach Amico]

I love the radio.

[Ian Finance]

He means the retarded black kid radio. Number one with a bullet refers to an item on a music chart that is not only at the top position, but also increasing in sales or popularity, indicating rapid advancement.

[Zach Amico]

Is it. It's. But it is a lyric from Fallout Boy, right?

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Okay. Yes. Based on that turn of phrase.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Okay, Got it.

[Ian Finance]

How much do you think you could fit in your urethra?

[Zach Amico]

Probably just a number one. With a bullet.

[Ian Finance]

A pencil?

[Zach Amico]

No, no.

[Maddie Smith]

Thick.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, no.

[Maddie Smith]

Maybe, like. Maybe, like, mechanical pencil. Lead chopstick.

[Zach Amico]

Peanut chopsticks.

[Ian Finance]

Thick. That's too specific.

[Zach Amico]

No, I'm thinking about getting splinters now.

[Maddie Smith]

Thick. These are thick items.

[Zach Amico]

Guys. Guys can do sounding. Can girls do sounding?

[Maddie Smith]

No. What is that?

[Zach Amico]

Just when you stick a, like, metal rod in your pee hole. Can women. Do women do that?

[Maddie Smith]

No.

[Ian Finance]

Women have urethras.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but can women do it?

[Ian Finance]

Yes. 100.

[Zach Amico]

I've never seen a woman do it.

[Maddie Smith]

I've seen more male. Male pee hole play, I guarantee.

[Zach Amico]

Are you a P Hole play guy? Strike me as one. Because you have the Prince Albert.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. Never been my. One time. One time a girl put a headphone jack in it. What, like the metal end called you?

[Zach Amico]

It was like.

[Ian Finance]

No, she put the headphones in, and we took pictures.

[Maddie Smith]

What'd she hear? Did she hear anything?

[Ian Finance]

This. The ocean? Yeah, she heard my come swimming in my balls.

[Maddie Smith]

You took pictures? That's funny.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's classic.

[Maddie Smith]

Classic kid stuff.

[Ian Finance]

That was fun.

[Maddie Smith]

Did it hurt or what? Did it feel?

[Ian Finance]

No, we ain't going far. Just, like. Just the metal part, you know?

[Maddie Smith]

Is that video that we all saw in middle school of, like, this pencil going into a urethra?

[Ian Finance]

What?

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, I didn't see that video.

[Ian Finance]

Rotten dot com or something like that?

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, yeah. Meat Spin vibes.

[Ian Finance]

I had a friend that did fetish videos, and he came home. He was staying with me, and he came to the apartment. He had done a sounding video that day, and I think he got pretty big. And I remember he came home and he complained that his. His piss had chunks of blood in it.

[Shannon]

Go.

[Ian Finance]

Don't be afraid of your sexuality. Oh, poop play is fine. Because we. God forbid we talk about another culture, but now we're gonna. Now. Now we're gonna. We're gonna shame people for liking a little. Little rod in the pee hole.

[Maddie Smith]

It's a good point, Zach.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you bring up a good point.

[Ian Finance]

And I'm pretty sure girls definitely can, because I've heard it's probably an urban legend about a girl that was, like, super religious and the boyfriend, they didn't know how to fucking, and she went to the doctor because she said sex was extremely painful and it was because he was her urethra.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, my God. That's not true.

[Zach Amico]

That's not true.

[Ian Finance]

It's probably an old wives talent.

[Zach Amico]

That's an old wife tale.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. I don't even know if I could find.

[Zach Amico]

I wanted to do it.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Finally something tight.

[Zach Amico]

There's like four other holes to choose from.

[Maddie Smith]

There's a lot of holes.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. It's like a stoplight.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No way. That didn't happen.

[Maddie Smith]

I feel like a guy's pee hole is like you can squeeze the tip.

[Ian Finance]

And there make it talk.

[Maddie Smith]

The girls is harder to find.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

The girls P holes mixed in with.

[Zach Amico]

A bunch of folds like the G spot. I don't even think it exists.

[Maddie Smith]

Same.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, same. I'm pretty sure it exists.

[Zach Amico]

The P hole.

[Ian Finance]

The P hole. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our good friends at Yo Kratom, home of the 60 kilo. If you use Kratom for some of its many benefits, don't start using it on my account. But if you do use it, go to yokradom.com today. They have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at the network. Don't go to bodegas, smoke shops, or gas stations. Get a little bit of Kratom at a time. And you barely know what's in there because yocratum.com has you covered. There's no promo code needed because it's already the best deal in the world to kratom. $60 for a whole kilo delivered right to your door. So go check it out today. Yocratum.com Home of the 60 kilo. Let's get back to the show. Shannon, can women sound?

[Shannon]

Well, I just looked up, unfortunately, I just looked up if it's possible to have sex through their urethra. And it says it's rare and risky, but it is possible to have sex in the urethra. Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

See, you learned about the female body with me today, Ian.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe a butthole too loose.

[Ian Finance]

Give me that pee. We're going to strange and unusual places.

[Zach Amico]

Actually, where we're going, we don't need roads.

[Ian Finance]

No, we need rods. Chad, do you have any sounding pictures that we could look at? Pull it up, pull it up.

[Zach Amico]

Pull it out. Put it in.

[Ian Finance]

Because no, I, I. There was a girl I was with for a while who did fetish videos, and I know she got her staple shot and I think sewn shut. She was a trooper, though.

[Zach Amico]

You have to be.

[Maddie Smith]

That's great. Like a Tim Burton character.

[Ian Finance]

Yes. It was like Sally.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

The duck doctor. No one will you.

[Zach Amico]

Did they open it?

[Ian Finance]

All right, there we.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I'm sorry, guys.

[Ian Finance]

His own photos of silence.

[Zach Amico]

Pretty cool, huh? I thought you guys would like me.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, God.

[Maddie Smith]

Is that what a Prince Albert is right there? That piece?

[Ian Finance]

Well, I mean, that is ideally, kind of.

[Maddie Smith]

But then the thing going in looks like.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, that's. That's extra. Shannon, keep it going.

[Maddie Smith]

I'm getting lightheaded.

[Zach Amico]

That doesn't even look like it's his penis.

[Maddie Smith]

I know. That's another hand, man.

[Zach Amico]

Is that Roomba in the background?

[Ian Finance]

We gotta keep clean. Even the Roomba's trying to get away. It keeps crashing into the wall. Get me away from this freak.

[Maddie Smith]

I don't like that.

[Ian Finance]

Stop it before he puts a dildo on me and tries to sit. Yeah, stop before he tries to ride the room around the room like a gargoyle.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

With a fist on it. Oh, whoa.

[Zach Amico]

That guy again.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, he loves punching.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, but it's like, twist. It's like a screw.

[Maddie Smith]

I don't like that.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, I feel like you gotta, like, do not like on that. Oh, that can't be good for you, huh?

[Zach Amico]

I can imagine it would feel better since it's ribbed for his pleasure.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, I don't think. Oh, God, no. It's got. I hate it.

[Maddie Smith]

Pulling it out might feel good.

[Ian Finance]

Good work, Shannon. See, she found that quick. Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Great, Shannon.

[Ian Finance]

All right, moving on. Man gets jumped by the whole damn block after threatening everyone with his gun.

[Maddie Smith]

Boom.

[Ian Finance]

Hasidic.

[Zach Amico]

You get what you get.

[Ian Finance]

Jewish neighborhood.

[Zach Amico]

Chinatown.

[Ian Finance]

Ah, the whole thing. Brock.

[Maddie Smith]

Brock Turner.

[Ian Finance]

They're terrible Brock Turners. They can't stay in their lane. They can't turn on Brocks. They can't turn on Avenues.

[Maddie Smith]

You are such a Brock Turner.

[Ian Finance]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

You wasted a couple bullets, big dog.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, I bet. The whole damn block.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

You're out.

[Maddie Smith]

Whoa. You're done.

[Zach Amico]

Don't pull that thing.

[Ian Finance]

One of those people. A clown is one of those people in a Pennywise costume with no makeup.

[Zach Amico]

No, I think she's dressed up like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

[Maddie Smith]

That's no way.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. That is a clown. Other countries rule.

[Maddie Smith]

This is multiple clowns.

[Ian Finance]

The fact that there's an unmakeable. The clown.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Like he was about to put it on and heard the shots and went, my city needs me.

[Maddie Smith]

The pave paint right here. I got to go.

[Ian Finance]

You know what I got to tell you? Accurate title of a video that is the whole D block went after him.

[Maddie Smith]

The whole block? They did more than we do in.

[Zach Amico]

Like, a school shooting. Beat him like a dog. That's what he's saying.

[Ian Finance]

I heard Huevo kick him in the balls.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, they're beating someone else. Did he get up again?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. This is a terrible birthday.

[Zach Amico]

You ruin the killer party.

[Ian Finance]

This kid, man. I can't believe they bought a 4 year old a wedding dress for this.

[Shannon]

There's two more minutes of this.

[Ian Finance]

No, we can't.

[Maddie Smith]

Okay, I think we get it.

[Zach Amico]

Two more minutes. What, Shannon?

[Ian Finance]

What? What public park was that in? Tompkins Square, Karen.

[Maddie Smith]

Literally.

[Ian Finance]

Do you have any information? We just had the video.

[Shannon]

Just the video.

[Ian Finance]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

No boy.

[Ian Finance]

All right, Keeping it moving.

[Zach Amico]

No boy.

[Ian Finance]

Transgender person at center of LA Jim row insists they're entitled to use women's locker room. Let's get all the details. Shannon. I don't want to be. I don't want to be presumptuous.

[Shannon]

So this chick who's like a rapper and an influencer is the person who posted the first video. So I'm gonna show you this first video first, then I'll tell you more information.

[Zach Amico]

A popular singer songwriter claimed she was. Is that the transfer? Angeles.

[Ian Finance]

After getting into a heated caught on.

[Zach Amico]

Camera confrontation with a transgender woman.

[Ian Finance]

Using.

[Zach Amico]

The women's locker room, the controversy exploded. Tish Hyman posted a video of a brief. All they have is earrings.

[Ian Finance]

Wasn't he on Boy Meets World?

[Maddie Smith]

Wasn't he just pranking his ex with a pair of underwear on his head?

[Shannon]

Is that Wilder?

[Ian Finance]

Valer knows how to be a man right now. He knows how to be a man.

[Zach Amico]

That's silver.

[Ian Finance]

Talkable. He needs to have his gym membership revoked with that. And the woman told you he assaulted me. Pause. This ain't feminine. You a lady. That for the ladies.

[Zach Amico]

Why are we seeing videos of Leslie Jones from the 50th SNL party? This is crazy.

[Maddie Smith]

When they hire you, Leslie versus Tony Hinchcliff in action.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, that was so crazy, the whole thing about her on Tony. Because a minute before that, she was like, comedy's meant to be offensive. You're not offending somebody. You ain't doing it right. And then the next one, she's like, tony is offensive. Little tweet, little mustache. It's like, shut up.

[Maddie Smith]

She was, like, too big to, like, talk about stuff like that. Yeah, I thought you get to a point where you're too big.

[Zach Amico]

Jib jabbing about who gives a lady jib jab.

[Ian Finance]

It really sounds like it's on the Line of what you're allowed to say. Jesus. Wow, she's a jibber jabbing, huh? Real jibber jabber, jabber jaw over here.

[Maddie Smith]

Jig is up, I'll tell you that much.

[Ian Finance]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, God.

[Ian Finance]

Jib jab. Sounds like one of the games Maddie has to play. Yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

Jib jab and kill it and kill.

[Ian Finance]

It and kill it and jib it and jab it.

[Maddie Smith]

Jibb to jabber to gbd Jew.

[Ian Finance]

And Maddie's like. And that's why I like black guys.

[Maddie Smith]

Every time Nick's in my throat.

[Ian Finance]

No, she said Nick. She said Nick. Nick. Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. That was the joke. Remember when that. That stuttering comic was on America's Got Talent against Gary Veder?

[Shannon]

No.

[Maddie Smith]

Drew Lyncher.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

And we were like, how weird was his first day meeting Nick Cannon? Hello.

[Zach Amico]

Nickelodeon?

[Ian Finance]

Does he not stutter anymore?

[Maddie Smith]

I think it's like controlled, right?

[Shannon]

Yeah, he's. He was on SDR recently and it just like when he. He has like bad days here and there, but for the most part he's worked away from it.

[Maddie Smith]

It's like Biden.

[Zach Amico]

All depends on when he's the term.

[Ian Finance]

It on or stuttering.

[Maddie Smith]

An autistic community was a bad day.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Ian Finance]

I'm not.

[Zach Amico]

Come on, Z.

[Ian Finance]

He's a nice guy. I met him that day.

[Shannon]

Come on.

[Zach Amico]

He's very nice.

[Ian Finance]

Very nice.

[Zach Amico]

Very funny.

[Ian Finance]

Very funny. Good comic. Could I see a world where he. Maybe. And hey, maybe it benefited people with stutters. Maybe it was a heroic act. Put it on a little for the show, Zach.

[Maddie Smith]

100 million.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. You think. You think show business is fake?

[Shannon]

Not this.

[Zach Amico]

We are sitting in front of neon lights. The same star just went fast.

[Ian Finance]

That same season where Gary Veeda pretended to live with Greg Stone and not his girlfriend. When they did all the.

[Maddie Smith]

Did they what they do? Like people lived with each other.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, I gotta get out.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, I gotta. If I win, I can finally move out of my, you know, not have roommates and. Yeah, if I remember that.

[Zach Amico]

Greg Stone's story.

[Maddie Smith]

We want you about his stuff.

[Ian Finance]

I mean, I guess, you know, who.

[Zach Amico]

Wasn'T faking their thing. Twitchels shout out. I don't even know if he's still alive. Do you guys know Twitch?

[Ian Finance]

Oh, you know. Yeah. You got your sandwich.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, there's this.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There's this comic who was on like O. A and he. He has Tourette's and so I want to start comedy. Ended up opening for him at the beach one time and I pick him up at his house. And before he gets in the car, he's like, hey, just so you know, if I bang my head against a window or start flipping out, I'm listening. I'm just having a tick. I'm like, all. So we just like chain smoke in my car, dude, I'm telling you, front to back. Funniest half hour about having Tourette's. Amazing. Could not write jokes about anything else.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But after the show, at the end of his set, he was like, I'm selling headshots. All the money goes to a Tourette's recovery fund. And you'd really be helping out, you know, people with Tourette's a lot. But. So he sells out all his headshots.

[Ian Finance]

What is the Tourette's recovery fund? You just slap it on the back of the head. Go. Don't do that. Quit it. Right, boy.

[Zach Amico]

You ain't right.

[Maddie Smith]

You're annoying.

[Ian Finance]

Stop.

[Zach Amico]

So then we go to Wawa afterwards.

[Shannon]

Stop it.

[Zach Amico]

We go to Wawa afterwards, and I go to pay. And he goes, no, no, I got it.

[Ian Finance]

That's what he calls Wachovia Bank.

[Zach Amico]

So I go to pain. He goes, no, no. Tourette's recovery fund. Wow. Twitchels. What a play on words.

[Ian Finance]

I mean, you gotta figure that's what that was when he was just delivering the money every week after shows.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, he. It was a lie through omission, you know, Very, very nice guy.

[Ian Finance]

One time when I saw Reverend Bob Levy, he just stood in the lobby with T shirts and goes, I need money for a. Need money for a.

[Zach Amico]

That's the kind of homeless guy you give money to because you're like, well, at least he's honest.

[Ian Finance]

Reverend Bob Levy doing stand up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I said, you like an honest homeless guy. God.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, my God. All right, you can continue that, Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

That's not a woman, by the way. That is a creep guy. Or she just did not do any.

[Maddie Smith]

Or just like a mental.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe they just.

[Ian Finance]

They just worked out. You can't get rid of me for this. I'm a woman, and I have every right to not want a man in the restroom when I'm naked. There are girls naked.

[Zach Amico]

And he goes back in the women's room.

[Ian Finance]

What a.

[Maddie Smith]

It could be a woman from behind.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, but you can't film people.

[Zach Amico]

Multiple women. And I have repeatedly made written reports on this man for coming to our women's locker room, harassing us gym staff has done absolutely nothing.

[Shannon]

So I can. I'll tell you a little bit more about it. So the woman. It says, the woman who Reported this, that her membership is currently under review. So they didn't necessarily revoke it. But. So she said that several times before this incident that he came in to the locker room and like called her a. And just like was. Was shitty to her. Several times she actually switched to another location and then he also came to that location. And then I found another article, more recent one where it says that before that he's recent. She. I don't know, has recently started undergoing hormone replacement therapy. But before that. The article is an opening, but he was arrested for beating his ex wife to like a bloody pulp. She. Her jaw was broke. She had to get so. Oh yeah, here you go. I just came up. I have his. This is his mug shot for. He spent a year in prison for beating up his ex wife as a.

[Zach Amico]

Mentally ill pervert masquerading as a woman, using trans rights to get what he wants, which is access to women's spaces. Fuck that guy.

[Ian Finance]

Save that clip, Ally. I'm going to be using it a lot.

[Zach Amico]

It is. If you're undergoing hormone therapy and you're making an effort to pass, you get the benefit of the doubt. I get it, girl. Use. We all get to take pisses, girl. But that is a man using women's spaces and under the guise of. I'm trans. That's not okay. That's not all right. That guy's a piece of.

[Ian Finance]

I like. I like this affirmative, Ian. I like that. I.

[Zach Amico]

It's the truth.

[Ian Finance]

No. Yeah. I mean, of course.

[Zach Amico]

Subjected to that.

[Ian Finance]

Of course you're correct.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

100%. Maddie.

[Maddie Smith]

He's mentally ill. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Maddie, you're a guy that masquerades as a woman. How do you feel?

[Ian Finance]

I feel you're the picture of femininity.

[Maddie Smith]

I can relate to this man.

[Zach Amico]

Imagine being in there and then just.

[Ian Finance]

You're the least feminine person in this room.

[Zach Amico]

Don't you hate it when your balls get hot?

[Ian Finance]

You're the least feminine person in this room by a lot.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. What if I'm in a locker room and a woman's like, you're a man. This woman. This man trying to pass as a woman. I'm like, no, I'm actually.

[Zach Amico]

No, you show your vagina like they had up ball. Constructive surgery.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, God, she's.

[Zach Amico]

He's mutilated himself. No, that's terror. No women should be subjected to that. That's terrible. The guy has a history of abuse, that guy.

[Ian Finance]

Do you think that's almost like trying to pull a mulligan though? Like trying to say, oh, I Was a bad guy, but I'm a great chick.

[Zach Amico]

No, you don't get a redo.

[Ian Finance]

How guys would be like, I'm in therapy. Like, I used to be a piece of.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, you're still a piece of for weaponizing therapy. You're just weaponizing femininity. To go under the radar is now a good person. Just because you're trans doesn't make you a good person. Just because you go to therapy, it doesn't make you a good person. It's all about your actions.

[Ian Finance]

I feel like you've had this conversation.

[Zach Amico]

In the mirror a lot.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. To a few different doctors while you sat on a. Laid on a couch for some reason.

[Zach Amico]

No bracelet on me.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

Shock your brain.

[Ian Finance]

That's a woman. Yeah, I agree.

[Zach Amico]

And I think I will say it didn't help that woman's case. She was like, I saw him and I immediately ran out screaming, that's a man. It's like, well, yeah, you should have kind of just like kept it in a whisper, you know?

[Maddie Smith]

You tell Jim quietly, I think that's a guy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Maddie Smith]

They're probably going to cooperate.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Finance]

That, yeah. That the response maybe was part of the issue.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. Just whipping out a phone and screaming, that's a man. It's like, yo, go up and plead your case. But also, I couldn't imagine the shock she felt. So maybe that's just. Yeah. Go off queen. Go off queen, sis.

[Ian Finance]

I don't know. How do you feel about the. The gender neutral bathrooms?

[Zach Amico]

I love them in airports. That's where I smoke my cigarettes.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. They're always free.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And they never have fire smoke detectors because it used to be janitor's closets.

[Ian Finance]

Good to know.

[Shannon]

You know?

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah, good point.

[Ian Finance]

Ian's always finding a new reason to be in the closet.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, yes.

[Ian Finance]

What about like, so at the creek where they have the gender neutral, like, do like stalls?

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, yeah.

[Ian Finance]

That's weird.

[Zach Amico]

Why?

[Ian Finance]

Because I don't want ladies in there while I'm shitting.

[Zach Amico]

It'll make them go in and out faster so there's less of a line. It is weird when you're. And then women come into the bathroom and you're like, oh, God, I don't want to make noise. Oh, God.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. I feel like that's like the price we pay for Prakash. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I.

[Ian Finance]

If.

[Zach Amico]

If they are single stall, like actual, like you shut the door and there's.

[Maddie Smith]

It's enclosed underground like that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when it's like you can tell that it was women's room.

[Maddie Smith]

That's now little cracks. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You're like, oh, God. It's very awkward. Very awkward. But maybe it's for the best. It will help everyone, you know, go to the bathroom.

[Ian Finance]

Quick facts.

[Zach Amico]

Look at the bright side.

[Ian Finance]

Mix it up. You know, I say one room is for number one and one room not with a bullet. I'm not going to try to confuse you again. You have a pee room and a poop room.

[Zach Amico]

I say go China style. No stalls. Holes in the ground.

[Maddie Smith]

Squat and get the out siggy in your hand.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Ian Finance]

Yep. You've smoked yourself.

[Zach Amico]

Screaming, eating a raw fish head.

[Ian Finance]

You smoked yourself Chinese. You smoked. Smoked so many cigarettes.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Ian Finance]

That now you feel like you should the whole squad, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I had pneumonia and bronchitis a couple weeks ago.

[Ian Finance]

Horrible.

[Zach Amico]

I was at death's door. I quit smoking for three days. Nightmare. Smoked again. Felt 100.

[Maddie Smith]

Everything was fine.

[Zach Amico]

Right now, I'm not gonna say cigarettes are good for you, but for this guy, you would.

[Ian Finance]

You would. Dude, you would kill. In China, everyone's. Everyone.

[Maddie Smith]

Vietnam.

[Ian Finance]

Have you heard Pete Angelo talk about going to China because they feel obligated to give gifts when they meet people.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Ian Finance]

And they saw he smoked. Yeah. So everyone just handed. He came home with, like, a duffel bag full of fucking packs of cigarettes.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, amazing.

[Ian Finance]

And they're like, there's no. Like, there's no there. He said that they're great because there's no nobody looking at what's in their cigarettes.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, unregulated.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, yeah, unregulated.

[Zach Amico]

I got a carton of Senecas from a Hell, yeah, Buffalo. Dude. I smoked half a pound. I. I was like, coughing up blood. It was terrible.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There's like, every time I go to Canada, people give me native cigarettes.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I smoke one. I'm like, cheap, as though I know.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

A dollar fifty a pack.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah. Get a whole can.

[Zach Amico]

Learn to love it.

[Ian Finance]

I've told him before, but I'll end on this. When we were making the movies up at Buffalo, we had a Native American pat, and he was a member of the res. So he would go get our cigarettes and he would get us cartons for like, 15, 20 bucks.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Ian Finance]

And then at the end of the day, he goes, and I got a little something for you boys. And he just has, like, a big plastic bag full of cigs. And we're smoking them for, like, two. Because even I don't smoke. But on a movie set, everybody smokes because you need to kill time and you need to. You need a reason to go. Not want to kill somebody.

[Maddie Smith]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

And we're spending like two or three days and we're all just blood feeling shit. And we're like, pat, where are these fucking cigarettes? He goes, they make those from the floor sweepings.

[Maddie Smith]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Finance]

Shout out Pat Patterson. We're going to call it there. Thank you so much for my wonderful guest Inan Fi Dante and Maddie Smith. Please check out Being Ian with Jordan. Check out Ian's new show on ymh.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, Ian, do an odd guy doing odd jobs. Subscribe to my YouTube.YouTube.com Ian Finance Comedy and I'm so stoked.

[Shannon]

It's.

[Zach Amico]

It's really great, really fun.

[Ian Finance]

Thank you. And Matt and the madhouse here on Gas. Go see them live. They're both great comedians and I love them very much.

[Zach Amico]

Much.

[Ian Finance]

Thank you so much. And we'll see you on Wednesday. Bye.

[Maddie Smith]

Peace.

[Ian Finance]

The fun's begun. No sleeping. Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco. Chug it down just like your favorite ob. Smile. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Acamiko morning too. It's a Miko morning too.