0067. Joe Gorman and Kelly Taylor

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0067: With Joe Gorman & Kelly Taylor

Date: December 5, 2025
Guests: Joe Gorman, Kelly Taylor
Podcast Network: GaS Digital Network

Episode Overview

This episode of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo delivers a hilarious and unrestrained dive into the weirdest and wildest news of the week, with signature dark humor and chaotic energy. Zac welcomes comedians Joe Gorman and Kelly Taylor for a freewheeling conversation about bizarre crime stories, dangerous NYC neighborhoods, absurd animal fights, crazy bar policies, wrestling’s wildest moments, and more. The trio mines the line between shock and laughter, riffing on everything from homeless vigilantes to wrestling heels to workplace mishaps. As always, nothing is off the table in the Zoo!

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Dangers of the Citizen App

Timestamps: [03:06]–[07:18]

Zac recounts his first night using the Citizen app, which devolved into a stream of terrifying local crime notifications: "Now I’m just getting notifications of horror." — Zac [04:09]
The group riffs on the exponential increase in machete attacks, with Zac revealing, "Last night was a machete attack in my neighborhood." [04:28]
They discuss bizarre social media trends like a man handing out machetes to homeless people in Austin — “Did you see this guy going around giving homeless people machetes? Like an influencer.” — Zac [04:34]
Joe jokes, "We're getting close to a real life purge coming up, man." [04:48]

Insane New York Stories & Bouncer Dress Codes

Timestamps: [07:19]–[11:56]

Zac reminisces about gas stations with heavily armed guards, sharing this story:
“There was a guy running at the store with a machete. Somebody just went, ‘He’s back again.’” — Zac [07:52]
Conversation moves to racist, exclusionary dress codes at music venues:
"It’s like, no saggy pants, no jerseys... Basically explaining every single Juggalo. This list only applies to certain evenings, I guess." — Zac [08:54]
Joe and Zac trade stories of being denied entry at bars over "dress codes" and getting kicked out for not drinking.

Unfiltered NYC News: HIV Spitting & Street Justice

Timestamps: [12:05]–[16:17]

Ongoing update about a local man spitting (possibly with HIV) at women and being released with an ankle monitor:
“They picked him up and released him immediately. It seems like street justice has happened.” — Shannon [12:35]
Kelly delightfully chimes in: “On behalf of bitches, we thank you. Stop violating!” [13:23]
Group discusses vigilante beatdowns and the "revolving door" of justice in NYC:
“How can you get three assaults in a day and get out? Is it just overcrowding?” — Zac [14:30]

Outrageous Subway Incidents

Timestamps: [16:50]–[19:58]

Conversation includes stories of people getting set on fire in the subway and even necrophilia attempts:
“There was a guy who got caught violating a corpse on the subway”—Zac [17:17]
“He found out in real time he was a necrophiliac.” — Zac [18:19]
Joking about old wives’ tales: “Now that we know his lower half was on fire, was he in fact a liar liar?” — Zac [19:41]

Drunk Alphabet Challenge

Timestamps: [20:03]–[22:16]

The crew plays a viral video of a woman attempting (and failing) to recite the alphabet for a sobriety test, inserting countless H's:
“When you’re on your third H in the alphabet, you go, I think you got me.” — Zac [20:54]
They debate whether it’s drunkenness or dyslexia, riffing on police field sobriety tricks:
“That’s the tricky part, you can’t sing it.” — Joe [21:04]
Zac: “If I can see them D’s, that’s... how she’s gonna get out of it.” [22:28]

Banning Solo Drinkers at Bars

Timestamps: [23:00]–[30:02]

England bar bans solo customers after 9pm to 'prevent trouble'; hosts extrapolate:
“If you come to a bar alone in a trenchcoat, rubbing your hands together, you’re probably up to no good.” — Zac [23:38]
Kelly notes “This has to be specific to men,” and Zac agrees, “The bar scene in Britain is pretty slimy.” [23:31]
Discussion detours to drinking habits, college days, and the pain of hangovers:
“Now if that were to happen to me, I’d be so scared.” — Kelly [27:39]

Underground Cockfighting in Connecticut

Timestamps: [31:12]–[34:12]

Police bust a cockfighting event; roosters are euthanized.
“What’s the fucking point of breaking up the fight? At least they’re serving a purpose.” — Joe [31:49]
Lively debate over which animals are most compelling to watch in a fight (deer, moose, elephants, scorpions):
“I’m selling myself on a fight, man, I’m getting excited.” — Joe [34:36]
“[For bugs] I feel like...scorpion could probably take a lot.” — Kelly [35:15]

Watching Animal Fights (Scorpion Fights Edition)

Timestamps: [36:07]–[40:22]

Shannon cues up scorpion vs. tarantula, then toad vs. scorpions — to Kelly’s visible discomfort.
“Whoa, that was intense!” — Kelly [37:29]
“Is he doing the John Cena taunt at the other—‘You can’t see me’?” — Zac [38:30]
“Imagine you have to fight three large pizzas. So you eat one and then you’re like, okay, I can’t handle it.” — Joe [40:03]

Pro Wrestling Madness: Heels, Fans, and Real Danger

Timestamps: [40:37]–[51:44]

Viral wrestling moment: Paul Heyman pushes a fan — “That’s not a shove. That’s nothing. That’s people trying to cash out.” — Zac [40:38]
Wild tales of fans storming the ring, wrestlers retaliating:
- “If you get in the ring, they’re allowed to do whatever.”
- “Jim Cornette...used to carry a tennis racket with a horseshoe in the carrying case.” — Zac [46:08]
- “In Puerto Rico and Mexico...people would put bleach in water guns and try to shoot you in the eyes.” — Zac [46:51]
Emotional and comical heel stories:
“Getting hated by little kids and letting them kind of one-up you…rules.” — Zac [51:05]

Women’s Stress & Men Relaxing at Home

Timestamps: [51:44]–[55:35]

Study claims women are most stressed when partners are relaxing at home:
“I get into something called cleaning mode…I prefer when Joe is just on the couch because I can be in full cleaning mode and he won’t get in my way.” — Kelly [52:33]
Zac traces his vacuum anxiety back to his mom’s cleaning habits:
“I get anxiety when I hear the vacuum cleaner. I’m like a cat; I hide when I hear the vacuum cleaner.” — Zac [53:03]
Tales of weird childhood home routines and strict parents.

Neighborhood Oddballs & Childhood Anecdotes

Timestamps: [55:36]–[60:32]

Zac describes his neighborhood’s “retarded mom and crazy dad” house — the freewheeling, poorly supervised hangout for local kids.
Kelly: “Every town has the sit-on-a-chair and wave-at-people lady.” [58:37]
Stories about fundraisers, candy bar sales, and the immigrant kids out-hustling locals:
“Immigrants taking our fucking jobs, I can’t believe this shit.” — Joe [60:19]

When Office Parties Go Wrong: The $850K Christmas Party Fiasco

Timestamps: [60:33]–[65:46]

Senior partner at an Australian firm loses his job after drunken sexual advances and tangling with a bar manager, despite a Miami Vice theme:
“Christmas party is a mulligan. Were they under the mistletoe when it happened?” — Joe [62:09]
“Maybe he was in character, a sleazy coke dealer.” — Kelly [62:24]
Reflection on the wild days of comedy club Christmas parties and how times have changed.

Notable Closing Quotes & Moments

“Getting hated by little kids and letting them kind of one up you...rules.” — Zac [51:05]
On the wild Creek in the Cave parties:
“If those walls could scream rape...” — Zac [63:34]
On heart attacks from wrestling:
“I would love to give somebody’s mama a heart attack. That would be the crowning achievement of my career.” — Zac [49:33]
On losing out to immigrant kids with fundraisers:
“But I’m blood!” — Joe, on relatives preferring to buy from other kids [60:16]

Memorable Segment Timestamps

[04:34] — Homeless machete distribution in Austin
[13:19] — “Stop violating these females out here!” street justice clip
[18:19] — Discovery of “unintentional necrophilia”
[20:18, 21:46] — Drunk woman’s alphabet test (with extra H’s)
[40:22] — Toad vs. three scorpions animal fight
[46:08] — Jim Cornette’s horseshoe racket story
[51:09] — The joy of being a heel in pro wrestling
[62:05] — Australian Miami Vice party disaster
[65:45] — Random homeless man spends all night at a comedy party

Tone & Style

The tone throughout is raucous, irreverent, brutally honest, and peppered with insider comedy and wrestling references. The hosts and guests spare no one, including themselves, gleefully riffing on the absurdities of modern city life, social chaos, and their own checkered pasts.

For New Listeners

If you missed the episode, expect rapid-fire comic banter, unfiltered real-life horror stories spun for laughs, and sincere camaraderie among the hosts and guests. The discussion jumps wildly between NYC street survival, drinking culture, wrestling violence, and the glory days of debauched comedy club parties. The humor is dark but underlined with a real affection for finding the absurd in everyday madness.

Guests’ Podcasts:

Joe Gorman: Super Celly Joe’s
Kelly Taylor: I Feel Fat Today

Zac's Instagram: @zackisnotfunny

Promo Code for GaS Digital: ZOO

“Stop violating!” — The unofficial Morning Zoo mantra. [13:19]

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0067: With Joe Gorman & Kelly Taylor

Date: December 5, 2025
Guests: Joe Gorman, Kelly Taylor
Podcast Network: GaS Digital Network

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Dangers of the Citizen App

Timestamps: [03:06]–[07:18]

Zac recounts his first night using the Citizen app, which devolved into a stream of terrifying local crime notifications: "Now I’m just getting notifications of horror." — Zac [04:09]
The group riffs on the exponential increase in machete attacks, with Zac revealing, "Last night was a machete attack in my neighborhood." [04:28]
They discuss bizarre social media trends like a man handing out machetes to homeless people in Austin — “Did you see this guy going around giving homeless people machetes? Like an influencer.” — Zac [04:34]
Joe jokes, "We're getting close to a real life purge coming up, man." [04:48]

Insane New York Stories & Bouncer Dress Codes

Timestamps: [07:19]–[11:56]

Zac reminisces about gas stations with heavily armed guards, sharing this story:
“There was a guy running at the store with a machete. Somebody just went, ‘He’s back again.’” — Zac [07:52]
Conversation moves to racist, exclusionary dress codes at music venues:
"It’s like, no saggy pants, no jerseys... Basically explaining every single Juggalo. This list only applies to certain evenings, I guess." — Zac [08:54]
Joe and Zac trade stories of being denied entry at bars over "dress codes" and getting kicked out for not drinking.

Unfiltered NYC News: HIV Spitting & Street Justice

Timestamps: [12:05]–[16:17]

Ongoing update about a local man spitting (possibly with HIV) at women and being released with an ankle monitor:
“They picked him up and released him immediately. It seems like street justice has happened.” — Shannon [12:35]
Kelly delightfully chimes in: “On behalf of bitches, we thank you. Stop violating!” [13:23]
Group discusses vigilante beatdowns and the "revolving door" of justice in NYC:
“How can you get three assaults in a day and get out? Is it just overcrowding?” — Zac [14:30]

Outrageous Subway Incidents

Timestamps: [16:50]–[19:58]

Conversation includes stories of people getting set on fire in the subway and even necrophilia attempts:
“There was a guy who got caught violating a corpse on the subway”—Zac [17:17]
“He found out in real time he was a necrophiliac.” — Zac [18:19]
Joking about old wives’ tales: “Now that we know his lower half was on fire, was he in fact a liar liar?” — Zac [19:41]

Drunk Alphabet Challenge

Timestamps: [20:03]–[22:16]

The crew plays a viral video of a woman attempting (and failing) to recite the alphabet for a sobriety test, inserting countless H's:
“When you’re on your third H in the alphabet, you go, I think you got me.” — Zac [20:54]
They debate whether it’s drunkenness or dyslexia, riffing on police field sobriety tricks:
“That’s the tricky part, you can’t sing it.” — Joe [21:04]
Zac: “If I can see them D’s, that’s... how she’s gonna get out of it.” [22:28]

Banning Solo Drinkers at Bars

Timestamps: [23:00]–[30:02]

England bar bans solo customers after 9pm to 'prevent trouble'; hosts extrapolate:
“If you come to a bar alone in a trenchcoat, rubbing your hands together, you’re probably up to no good.” — Zac [23:38]
Kelly notes “This has to be specific to men,” and Zac agrees, “The bar scene in Britain is pretty slimy.” [23:31]
Discussion detours to drinking habits, college days, and the pain of hangovers:
“Now if that were to happen to me, I’d be so scared.” — Kelly [27:39]

Underground Cockfighting in Connecticut

Timestamps: [31:12]–[34:12]

Police bust a cockfighting event; roosters are euthanized.
“What’s the fucking point of breaking up the fight? At least they’re serving a purpose.” — Joe [31:49]
Lively debate over which animals are most compelling to watch in a fight (deer, moose, elephants, scorpions):
“I’m selling myself on a fight, man, I’m getting excited.” — Joe [34:36]
“[For bugs] I feel like...scorpion could probably take a lot.” — Kelly [35:15]

Watching Animal Fights (Scorpion Fights Edition)

Timestamps: [36:07]–[40:22]

Shannon cues up scorpion vs. tarantula, then toad vs. scorpions — to Kelly’s visible discomfort.
“Whoa, that was intense!” — Kelly [37:29]
“Is he doing the John Cena taunt at the other—‘You can’t see me’?” — Zac [38:30]
“Imagine you have to fight three large pizzas. So you eat one and then you’re like, okay, I can’t handle it.” — Joe [40:03]

Pro Wrestling Madness: Heels, Fans, and Real Danger

Timestamps: [40:37]–[51:44]

Viral wrestling moment: Paul Heyman pushes a fan — “That’s not a shove. That’s nothing. That’s people trying to cash out.” — Zac [40:38]
Wild tales of fans storming the ring, wrestlers retaliating:
- “If you get in the ring, they’re allowed to do whatever.”
- “Jim Cornette...used to carry a tennis racket with a horseshoe in the carrying case.” — Zac [46:08]
- “In Puerto Rico and Mexico...people would put bleach in water guns and try to shoot you in the eyes.” — Zac [46:51]
Emotional and comical heel stories:
“Getting hated by little kids and letting them kind of one-up you…rules.” — Zac [51:05]

Women’s Stress & Men Relaxing at Home

Timestamps: [51:44]–[55:35]

Study claims women are most stressed when partners are relaxing at home:
“I get into something called cleaning mode…I prefer when Joe is just on the couch because I can be in full cleaning mode and he won’t get in my way.” — Kelly [52:33]
Zac traces his vacuum anxiety back to his mom’s cleaning habits:
“I get anxiety when I hear the vacuum cleaner. I’m like a cat; I hide when I hear the vacuum cleaner.” — Zac [53:03]
Tales of weird childhood home routines and strict parents.

Neighborhood Oddballs & Childhood Anecdotes

Timestamps: [55:36]–[60:32]

Zac describes his neighborhood’s “retarded mom and crazy dad” house — the freewheeling, poorly supervised hangout for local kids.
Kelly: “Every town has the sit-on-a-chair and wave-at-people lady.” [58:37]
Stories about fundraisers, candy bar sales, and the immigrant kids out-hustling locals:
“Immigrants taking our fucking jobs, I can’t believe this shit.” — Joe [60:19]

When Office Parties Go Wrong: The $850K Christmas Party Fiasco

Timestamps: [60:33]–[65:46]

Senior partner at an Australian firm loses his job after drunken sexual advances and tangling with a bar manager, despite a Miami Vice theme:
“Christmas party is a mulligan. Were they under the mistletoe when it happened?” — Joe [62:09]
“Maybe he was in character, a sleazy coke dealer.” — Kelly [62:24]
Reflection on the wild days of comedy club Christmas parties and how times have changed.

Notable Closing Quotes & Moments

“Getting hated by little kids and letting them kind of one up you...rules.” — Zac [51:05]
On the wild Creek in the Cave parties:
“If those walls could scream rape...” — Zac [63:34]
On heart attacks from wrestling:
“I would love to give somebody’s mama a heart attack. That would be the crowning achievement of my career.” — Zac [49:33]
On losing out to immigrant kids with fundraisers:
“But I’m blood!” — Joe, on relatives preferring to buy from other kids [60:16]

Memorable Segment Timestamps

[04:34] — Homeless machete distribution in Austin
[13:19] — “Stop violating these females out here!” street justice clip
[18:19] — Discovery of “unintentional necrophilia”
[20:18, 21:46] — Drunk woman’s alphabet test (with extra H’s)
[40:22] — Toad vs. three scorpions animal fight
[46:08] — Jim Cornette’s horseshoe racket story
[51:09] — The joy of being a heel in pro wrestling
[62:05] — Australian Miami Vice party disaster
[65:45] — Random homeless man spends all night at a comedy party

Tone & Style

For New Listeners

Guests’ Podcasts:

Joe Gorman: Super Celly Joe’s
Kelly Taylor: I Feel Fat Today

Zac's Instagram: @zackisnotfunny

Promo Code for GaS Digital: ZOO

“Stop violating!” — The unofficial Morning Zoo mantra. [13:19]

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Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0067: With Joe Gorman & Kelly Taylor

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Dangers of the Citizen App

Insane New York Stories & Bouncer Dress Codes

Unfiltered NYC News: HIV Spitting & Street Justice

Outrageous Subway Incidents

Drunk Alphabet Challenge

Banning Solo Drinkers at Bars

Underground Cockfighting in Connecticut

Watching Animal Fights (Scorpion Fights Edition)

Pro Wrestling Madness: Heels, Fans, and Real Danger

Women’s Stress & Men Relaxing at Home

Neighborhood Oddballs & Childhood Anecdotes

When Office Parties Go Wrong: The $850K Christmas Party Fiasco

Notable Closing Quotes & Moments

Memorable Segment Timestamps

Tone & Style

For New Listeners

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0067: With Joe Gorman & Kelly Taylor

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Dangers of the Citizen App

Insane New York Stories & Bouncer Dress Codes

Unfiltered NYC News: HIV Spitting & Street Justice

Outrageous Subway Incidents

Drunk Alphabet Challenge

Banning Solo Drinkers at Bars

Underground Cockfighting in Connecticut

Watching Animal Fights (Scorpion Fights Edition)

Pro Wrestling Madness: Heels, Fans, and Real Danger

Women’s Stress & Men Relaxing at Home

Neighborhood Oddballs & Childhood Anecdotes

When Office Parties Go Wrong: The $850K Christmas Party Fiasco

Notable Closing Quotes & Moments

Memorable Segment Timestamps

Tone & Style

For New Listeners