Podcast Summary: Zac Amico's Morning Zoo

Episode 0070: Geo Perez and Doug Uram
Release Date: December 14, 2025
Host: Zac Amico
Guests: Geo Perez, Doug Uram (with Shannon producing)
Podcast Network: GaS Digital

Episode Overview

This wild, irreverent episode of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo brings together comedians Geo Perez and Doug Uram for a freewheeling conversation packed with medical mishaps (both gastrointestinal and anatomical), internet weirdness, animal chaos, pop culture, and classic Morning Zoo mayhem. The crew riffs nonstop on viral news, gross-out stories, and off-color humor, keeping the tone brash, playful, and darkly funny.

Major Discussion Topics & Key Moments

1. Zac’s Norovirus Ordeal & Medical Mishaps (00:28 – 05:21)

• Zac returns after a rough bout with norovirus, describing his gastrointestinal havoc in colorful detail.
  • “I was clocking it about every half hour … I think a license plate came out, buddy.” (02:42 – Zac)
• The crew quickly rails on the comedic side of stomach bugs, discussing the odd ways viruses travel and the inconvenience of being sick at the worst times.
• Geo and Doug riff about losing/gaining weight via illness, with jokes about wanting to "clear all that ass spackle." (02:50 – Doug)

2. WTF Medical X-Rays & Objects Up the Ass (05:21 – 11:18)

• Zac introduces a segment on bizarre x-rays, highlighting people inserting unlikely objects into their bodies.
• Featured incidences:
  • A double-ended dildo inserted “like a kielbasa,” which opened up inside the patient (05:48 – 06:12).
  • A Buzz Lightyear action figure gets “wings deployed” in a man’s rectum, causing serious medical trouble (06:32 – 07:25).
    • “That is 100% what happened … the wings basically acted like hooks.” (06:45 – Zac)
    • Geo: “Did it give him a woody?” (07:02)
  • A WWII anti-tank artillery round removed from another man, requiring a bomb squad (08:14 – 09:14).
    • Doug: “That is the most perfect object to stick up your ass if you had to ... 50 Cal round has a point.” (09:04)

3. Sex Toy Design & Human Ingenuity (09:30 – 13:08)

• Discussion veers into the design logic behind dildos, why they have “balls” or “wires” (“door stopper”) for retrieval, and the absurdity of tentacle/fantasy toys.
• Jokes about how men and women approach object insertion, with mock analysis of men’s inability to “pace themselves.”

4. Eating Challenges & Absurd Feats (13:08 – 17:14)

• Zac introduces “Katina Eats Kilos,” a competitive eater who demolishes a 76 oz steak.
  • The crew is awed by her physique (“her pussy got a six-pack too!”). (16:01 – Geo)
  • Discussion of other competitive eaters, like “Badlands,” and Zac’s abandoned Sega CD-style horror game project, “Video Drone”, involving live video deaths (17:00 – 19:47).

5. Video Game Industry Jokes & Wokeness (20:30 – 24:51)

• Geo & Doug critique recent gaming industry trends, referencing Call of Duty’s dev team being mostly women and speculating about the impact on quality.
• Zac fantasizes about a GTA 6 Vice City sequel:
  • “All the trailer had to be was synth music and it says GTA and 6 … Vice City 2 … the easiest sell in the world!” (23:47 – Zac)
• The crew mocks “woke” updates to franchises and jokes about storyline changes.

6. “Amateur Hour” Animal Shows: Bear Attack Video (26:43 – 35:00)

• The crew watches a video of a bear attack during a Chinese animal show, mocking the unprepared staff wielding random objects (basketball hoop, parrot) to fend off the bear.
• Extended riff about animal training, cruelty, and risks.
  • “That basketball hoop was brilliant.” (30:04 – Zac)
• Shannon reluctantly weighs in on whether wrestling bears is cruelty (“Yes, that was terrible.” 32:57 – Shannon), sparking jokes about animal revenge.

7. Paddington the Musical & Little Person Actors (35:00 – 37:28)

• Discussion of “Paddington the Musical” and how a little person in a high-tech bear suit amazes the crew.
• Zac: “How fucking good … Banana’s how good Paddington looks.” (35:27)
• Banter about midget actors, attractiveness, and the magic of animatronics.

8. Disabled Lawyers: Inspiration or Lowered Bar? (37:31 – 47:48)

• Zac brings up a viral story of a deaf-blind-black lawyer, leading to an intense (and explicit) debate about inclusivity, advocacy, and what is required to actually practice law.
• Crew vacillates between admiration and heavy sarcasm, joking about communication limitations and courtroom competence.
  • “If you’re deaf and you’re blind, how do you know you’re really a lawyer and that they’re not just like putting you in a closet every day and telling you you’re working on shit?” (40:16 – Zac)
• They spiral into jokes about lawyer “teams of handlers,” and the absurd logistics of legal practice with severe disabilities.

9. Helen Keller’s Speaking Voice & Sign Language Slurs (47:48 – 52:17)

• Zac asks Shannon to pull up Helen Keller’s real speaking voice, and the episode devolves into bits about sign language racial slurs and historic accuracies.
• Edge-pushing humor and relentless riffing throughout these segments.

10. Andy Dick’s Overdose: Comedy & Tragedy (52:20 – 57:16)

• News breaks about comedian Andy Dick’s overdose; video included.
  • “Oh, you on that Fenny, Eddie?” (53:14 – Geo)
  • Sympathy tempers the room, but the crew continues with dark observations about fame, addiction (“I mean, the fact that he lived this long is pretty impressive.” 54:22 – Doug), and Andy’s reputation (“Supposedly huge piece.” 55:57 – Zac).

11. “Santa” Busted for Child Porn – The Bad Christmas Story (57:24 – 61:00)

• The team reacts to a New Jersey “Santa for hire” being busted for child pornography.
  • “Every guy who plays Santa without the Santa outfit on, does look like a pedophile.” (58:34 – Doug)
  • Joked about what should be on Santa résumés, how to dress to avoid suspicion.
  • Suggest leaving spoof reviews on his website: “My daughter has been non-stop crying and she won’t look me in the eyes.” (60:13 – Geo)

12. Viral Prank Fails: Busta Rhymes “Tracy Morgan” (61:12 – 64:36)

• Discussion of a clout-chasing YouTuber calling Busta Rhymes “Tracy Morgan” for a prank, only to get sternly confronted.
  • “Not taking pictures. You try to show love. You trying to be funny.” (63:02 – Busta, via video)
• The crew is delighted by Busta’s intolerance for influencer antics, wishing he had slapped the prankster.

13. "Confront Your Racists" Goes Too Far? (64:51 – 69:00)

• Breakdown of a viral video where a woman drives three hours to confront someone who made racist comments online—possibly staged.
• Discussion shifts to another viral video: Chinese restaurant staff attacking health inspectors/news with kitchenware after being cited for roaches, dirty food, dozens of violations.
  • “It was the funniest fucking shit, dude.” (68:44 – Zac)
  • “Chinese people are just Jews with slanted eyes. … They try to save every penny.” (69:50 – Doug; example of borderline and stereotypical humor common in the show)

14. Closing: Filthy Kitchens & The Human Condition (70:33 – End)

• Extended joke segment about how exploited immigrant workers are packed into apartments and work long hours in nail salons or Chinese buffets—unflinching but darkly comedic.
• Zac wraps by thanking the guests and staff, promising new chaos in the bonus episode.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Bits

• "I was clocking it about every half an hour … I think a license plate came out, buddy." – Zac Amico (02:42)
• "Did it give him a woody?" – Geo Perez on the Buzz Lightyear x-ray (07:02)
• “That’s like opening a parachute in your asshole.” – Doug Uram (06:07)
• “No, the bear’s having fun … until the day he decides, you know what? I don’t like riding this bike.” – Zac/crew on animal shows (34:18)
• “If you’re deaf and you’re blind, how do you know you’re really a lawyer and that they’re not just putting you in a closet…” – Zac (40:16)
• “I feel like all of her … assistants … are technically lawyers too.” – Zac (44:05)
• “Her pussy got a six pack too.” – Geo (16:01)
• “Not taking pictures. You try to show love. You trying to be funny.” – Busta Rhymes (63:02)
• “Every guy who plays Santa without the Santa outfit on, does look like a pedophile.” – Doug (58:34)

Segment Timestamps

• Norovirus & Medical Mishaps: 00:28 – 05:21
• X-rays & Objects in Orifices: 05:21 – 11:18
• Sex Toys & Human Ingenuity: 09:30 – 13:08
• Competitive Eating: 13:08 – 17:14
• Video Game Industry/’Woke’ Riffs: 20:30 – 24:51
• Animal Show Bear Attack: 26:43 – 35:00
• Paddington & Little Person Actors: 35:00 – 37:28
• Disabled Lawyers Debate: 37:31 – 47:48
• Helen Keller & Sign Language: 47:48 – 52:17
• Andy Dick Overdose: 52:20 – 57:16
• Santa for Hire/Pedophilia Charges: 57:24 – 61:00
• Busta Rhymes/Prank Fails: 61:12 – 64:36
• Racist Confrontation & Chinese Buffet Mayhem: 64:51 – 69:00
• Closing Filthy Kitchen/Immigrant Labor Bits: 70:33 – End

Tone and Takeaways

This episode is raw, fast-paced, and unapologetically crude, blending dark current events, viral news, and shock comedy. Zac Amico, with Geo Perez and Doug Uram, keep the laughs coming by roasting both themselves and the subjects of their stories. While the humor borders on the offensive, it’s always delivered with self-aware irreverence—perfect for fans of no-holds-barred comedy and twisted takes on the world’s weirdest stories.

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