0070. Geo Perez and Doug Uram

Summary

Podcast Summary: Zac Amico's Morning Zoo

Episode 0070: Geo Perez and Doug Uram
Release Date: December 14, 2025
Host: Zac Amico
Guests: Geo Perez, Doug Uram (with Shannon producing)
Podcast Network: GaS Digital

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Episode Overview

This wild, irreverent episode of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo brings together comedians Geo Perez and Doug Uram for a freewheeling conversation packed with medical mishaps (both gastrointestinal and anatomical), internet weirdness, animal chaos, pop culture, and classic Morning Zoo mayhem. The crew riffs nonstop on viral news, gross-out stories, and off-color humor, keeping the tone brash, playful, and darkly funny.

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Major Discussion Topics & Key Moments

1. Zac’s Norovirus Ordeal & Medical Mishaps (00:28 – 05:21)

• Zac returns after a rough bout with norovirus, describing his gastrointestinal havoc in colorful detail.
  • “I was clocking it about every half hour … I think a license plate came out, buddy.” (02:42 – Zac)
• The crew quickly rails on the comedic side of stomach bugs, discussing the odd ways viruses travel and the inconvenience of being sick at the worst times.
• Geo and Doug riff about losing/gaining weight via illness, with jokes about wanting to "clear all that ass spackle." (02:50 – Doug)

2. WTF Medical X-Rays & Objects Up the Ass (05:21 – 11:18)

• Zac introduces a segment on bizarre x-rays, highlighting people inserting unlikely objects into their bodies.
• Featured incidences:
  • A double-ended dildo inserted “like a kielbasa,” which opened up inside the patient (05:48 – 06:12).
  • A Buzz Lightyear action figure gets “wings deployed” in a man’s rectum, causing serious medical trouble (06:32 – 07:25).
    • “That is 100% what happened … the wings basically acted like hooks.” (06:45 – Zac)
    • Geo: “Did it give him a woody?” (07:02)
  • A WWII anti-tank artillery round removed from another man, requiring a bomb squad (08:14 – 09:14).
    • Doug: “That is the most perfect object to stick up your ass if you had to ... 50 Cal round has a point.” (09:04)

3. Sex Toy Design & Human Ingenuity (09:30 – 13:08)

• Discussion veers into the design logic behind dildos, why they have “balls” or “wires” (“door stopper”) for retrieval, and the absurdity of tentacle/fantasy toys.
• Jokes about how men and women approach object insertion, with mock analysis of men’s inability to “pace themselves.”

4. Eating Challenges & Absurd Feats (13:08 – 17:14)

• Zac introduces “Katina Eats Kilos,” a competitive eater who demolishes a 76 oz steak.
  • The crew is awed by her physique (“her pussy got a six-pack too!”). (16:01 – Geo)
  • Discussion of other competitive eaters, like “Badlands,” and Zac’s abandoned Sega CD-style horror game project, “Video Drone”, involving live video deaths (17:00 – 19:47).

5. Video Game Industry Jokes & Wokeness (20:30 – 24:51)

• Geo & Doug critique recent gaming industry trends, referencing Call of Duty’s dev team being mostly women and speculating about the impact on quality.
• Zac fantasizes about a GTA 6 Vice City sequel:
  • “All the trailer had to be was synth music and it says GTA and 6 … Vice City 2 … the easiest sell in the world!” (23:47 – Zac)
• The crew mocks “woke” updates to franchises and jokes about storyline changes.

6. “Amateur Hour” Animal Shows: Bear Attack Video (26:43 – 35:00)

• The crew watches a video of a bear attack during a Chinese animal show, mocking the unprepared staff wielding random objects (basketball hoop, parrot) to fend off the bear.
• Extended riff about animal training, cruelty, and risks.
  • “That basketball hoop was brilliant.” (30:04 – Zac)
• Shannon reluctantly weighs in on whether wrestling bears is cruelty (“Yes, that was terrible.” 32:57 – Shannon), sparking jokes about animal revenge.

7. Paddington the Musical & Little Person Actors (35:00 – 37:28)

• Discussion of “Paddington the Musical” and how a little person in a high-tech bear suit amazes the crew.
• Zac: “How fucking good … Banana’s how good Paddington looks.” (35:27)
• Banter about midget actors, attractiveness, and the magic of animatronics.

8. Disabled Lawyers: Inspiration or Lowered Bar? (37:31 – 47:48)

• Zac brings up a viral story of a deaf-blind-black lawyer, leading to an intense (and explicit) debate about inclusivity, advocacy, and what is required to actually practice law.
• Crew vacillates between admiration and heavy sarcasm, joking about communication limitations and courtroom competence.
  • “If you’re deaf and you’re blind, how do you know you’re really a lawyer and that they’re not just like putting you in a closet every day and telling you you’re working on shit?” (40:16 – Zac)
• They spiral into jokes about lawyer “teams of handlers,” and the absurd logistics of legal practice with severe disabilities.

9. Helen Keller’s Speaking Voice & Sign Language Slurs (47:48 – 52:17)

• Zac asks Shannon to pull up Helen Keller’s real speaking voice, and the episode devolves into bits about sign language racial slurs and historic accuracies.
• Edge-pushing humor and relentless riffing throughout these segments.

10. Andy Dick’s Overdose: Comedy & Tragedy (52:20 – 57:16)

• News breaks about comedian Andy Dick’s overdose; video included.
  • “Oh, you on that Fenny, Eddie?” (53:14 – Geo)
  • Sympathy tempers the room, but the crew continues with dark observations about fame, addiction (“I mean, the fact that he lived this long is pretty impressive.” 54:22 – Doug), and Andy’s reputation (“Supposedly huge piece.” 55:57 – Zac).

11. “Santa” Busted for Child Porn – The Bad Christmas Story (57:24 – 61:00)

• The team reacts to a New Jersey “Santa for hire” being busted for child pornography.
  • “Every guy who plays Santa without the Santa outfit on, does look like a pedophile.” (58:34 – Doug)
  • Joked about what should be on Santa résumés, how to dress to avoid suspicion.
  • Suggest leaving spoof reviews on his website: “My daughter has been non-stop crying and she won’t look me in the eyes.” (60:13 – Geo)

12. Viral Prank Fails: Busta Rhymes “Tracy Morgan” (61:12 – 64:36)

• Discussion of a clout-chasing YouTuber calling Busta Rhymes “Tracy Morgan” for a prank, only to get sternly confronted.
  • “Not taking pictures. You try to show love. You trying to be funny.” (63:02 – Busta, via video)
• The crew is delighted by Busta’s intolerance for influencer antics, wishing he had slapped the prankster.

13. "Confront Your Racists" Goes Too Far? (64:51 – 69:00)

• Breakdown of a viral video where a woman drives three hours to confront someone who made racist comments online—possibly staged.
• Discussion shifts to another viral video: Chinese restaurant staff attacking health inspectors/news with kitchenware after being cited for roaches, dirty food, dozens of violations.
  • “It was the funniest fucking shit, dude.” (68:44 – Zac)
  • “Chinese people are just Jews with slanted eyes. … They try to save every penny.” (69:50 – Doug; example of borderline and stereotypical humor common in the show)

14. Closing: Filthy Kitchens & The Human Condition (70:33 – End)

• Extended joke segment about how exploited immigrant workers are packed into apartments and work long hours in nail salons or Chinese buffets—unflinching but darkly comedic.
• Zac wraps by thanking the guests and staff, promising new chaos in the bonus episode.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Bits

• "I was clocking it about every half an hour … I think a license plate came out, buddy." – Zac Amico (02:42)
• "Did it give him a woody?" – Geo Perez on the Buzz Lightyear x-ray (07:02)
• “That’s like opening a parachute in your asshole.” – Doug Uram (06:07)
• “No, the bear’s having fun … until the day he decides, you know what? I don’t like riding this bike.” – Zac/crew on animal shows (34:18)
• “If you’re deaf and you’re blind, how do you know you’re really a lawyer and that they’re not just putting you in a closet…” – Zac (40:16)
• “I feel like all of her … assistants … are technically lawyers too.” – Zac (44:05)
• “Her pussy got a six pack too.” – Geo (16:01)
• “Not taking pictures. You try to show love. You trying to be funny.” – Busta Rhymes (63:02)
• “Every guy who plays Santa without the Santa outfit on, does look like a pedophile.” – Doug (58:34)

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Segment Timestamps

• Norovirus & Medical Mishaps: 00:28 – 05:21
• X-rays & Objects in Orifices: 05:21 – 11:18
• Sex Toys & Human Ingenuity: 09:30 – 13:08
• Competitive Eating: 13:08 – 17:14
• Video Game Industry/’Woke’ Riffs: 20:30 – 24:51
• Animal Show Bear Attack: 26:43 – 35:00
• Paddington & Little Person Actors: 35:00 – 37:28
• Disabled Lawyers Debate: 37:31 – 47:48
• Helen Keller & Sign Language: 47:48 – 52:17
• Andy Dick Overdose: 52:20 – 57:16
• Santa for Hire/Pedophilia Charges: 57:24 – 61:00
• Busta Rhymes/Prank Fails: 61:12 – 64:36
• Racist Confrontation & Chinese Buffet Mayhem: 64:51 – 69:00
• Closing Filthy Kitchen/Immigrant Labor Bits: 70:33 – End

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Tone and Takeaways

This episode is raw, fast-paced, and unapologetically crude, blending dark current events, viral news, and shock comedy. Zac Amico, with Geo Perez and Doug Uram, keep the laughs coming by roasting both themselves and the subjects of their stories. While the humor borders on the offensive, it’s always delivered with self-aware irreverence—perfect for fans of no-holds-barred comedy and twisted takes on the world’s weirdest stories.

[End]

Transcript

[A]

Fill her up.

[B]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play jokes against you Start your day till the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre. Hello, hello, hello. And a happy Wednesday to all those zoo files out there. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zack Amico saying hello, hello, hello, and welcome to Zach Amico's Morning Zoo here on the Gas Digital Network. We love you. Across the table for me, just two of the best, two of my favorite people to podcast with, two of my favorite people to sit around and bullshit with. From on the gate here on the network, it's Geo Perez. How you doing, buddy?

[A]

I'm doing great, man.

[B]

Thank you for being here, man. Happy holidays.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you.

[C]

Hell yeah.

[B]

And next to him from no offense with Doug Uram, it's our great friend Doug Uram. How you doing, boss? Guys, how you doing, man?

[C]

See you again, buddy.

[B]

Oh, it's going to be a very fun day. Oh, I have been. I have just gotten my wits about me again. I spent Monday night through yesterday afternoon shitting.

[A]

Virus.

[B]

Norovirus has hit.

[A]

Oh, norovirus.

[B]

Noro virus, which is tummy problems.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Has hit the East Coast. It's hit it hard. Apparently, one of the worst strains. Mrs. Amica got it Saturday got here Monday got through my pods towards the end of Real Ass podcast. I think you could probably timestamp where you see me in my eyes. Go. I gotta go.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, how. So how do I get this? Cause I've been, like, backed up for.

[C]

Trying to lose weight.

[A]

No, I'm trying to gain weight. I'm on a slowing diet right now.

[B]

I would say hang out around. Because. Hang out around a bunch of children.

[C]

Have Zach spit your eye.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Is the partner someone in childcare? Usually whatever's going around. Or just hit like the house pretty hard.

[A]

Hit like a voodoo witch with my car. And that's a fatter.

[C]

That's the worst thing a voodoo witch does after you hit her with the car. That's not bad.

[B]

I will tell you. At one point it was. I was clocking it about every half an hour, just. And I mean, that's the worst.

[C]

Dude, I've been eating, like since Thanksgiving, so that, I mean, I don't want it, but that. That wouldn't be too bad. Clear all that Ass spackle.

[B]

It was.

[C]

It was.

[B]

I think a license plate came out, buddy.

[C]

We cut his stomach open. That kidnapped boy comes spilling out here. Well, I'll have to shut down.

[A]

There was somebody that from. That was from gang fest. Still in there?

[B]

Yeah. Oh man, did I miss the bacon roast.

[C]

There's an undigested E pill in here. Look at that.

[A]

I've been here since the first naked ro.

[B]

Let's get plugs out of the way. Mr. Urum. What do you want people to check out? My friend?

[C]

I follow me on Instagram at theduguram. I'll be at the Grizzly Pair on Saturday the 26th. I'll be at the Dojo, a comedy the Saturday before that in May. I'm sorry. March 25th. I'll be at next stop in Pennsylvania.

[B]

Very cool, Gio.

[A]

Follow me on Instagram geopress86 on all platforms. Listen to my podcast on the gate. It's on all platforms. Subscribe on YouTube trying to get our subscribers up. And I'll be in Atlantic City this Friday at 8 o' clock at Atlantic City Comedy Club. Come check that out. What else? Oh, that's about it.

[B]

Very cool. Hey guys, find me online at Zach is not funny on my dates. Punch up that live Zach amico. I'm going out on the road with Juggalo championship wrestling. So I'll be out on the 19th and 20th. I believe I am in Milliwauke as well as two more dates. You can check those out at Juggalo championship wrestling. And if you love the show and we know you do, head on over to gas digital.com today. The new Gas Digital. Use my promo code Zoo. Get yourself a few bucks off your subscription. You get yourself a access to the archives, the live chat. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored and you get that free Friday bonus episode. That's right. We do three of these a week. If you want all three, you gotta subscribe. But no matter what, thank you for ingesting the show. And however you watch it, I truly.

[C]

Appreciate you ingesting the show. Ingesting the show.

[B]

Ingesting my media. All right. So I thought.

[A]

Injecting. Yeah.

[B]

So I thought we would. I thought we would start fun little picture. And I wanted to say. And it's funny because it has something to do. We were just talking about. We have. I've been following a lot of medical anomaly pages and the other day we watched why you should wear pants while you ride a motorcycle.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Oh. I could think of a few reasons why and especially.

[B]

Yeah, apparently you can take your whole thigh.

[A]

You're gonna say, I thought a calf muscle maybe.

[B]

Whole thigh, whole thigh, whole thigh.

[C]

Shave some skin off like you're peeling a carrot.

[B]

Yeah. But now we've got something that doctors found in an X ray of a man who went in very uncomfortable.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

And the other week we saw it was a double ended dildo. When he had put in both sides like a kielbasa.

[C]

Like a folded up kiel. And he put it in like that.

[B]

And then it unfurled. He put it in. Not either. Head, side. He put it in middle first.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He put the curve in first.

[B]

Yeah. And then it opened in him.

[C]

Oh, that's amazing. That's like opening a parachute in your asshole.

[B]

Yeah. It's like opening an umbrella inside. It's bad luck.

[C]

It is bad luck.

[B]

You never want to open a dildo inside you.

[C]

No, no, that. That causes a lot of problems.

[B]

We have a new X ray and I wanted you guys to help me figure out what. I mean, I know what it is, but I want to see if you guys can tell what it is right away.

[C]

Let's see that thing on the bottom. Action figure that looks like a GI Joe.

[A]

Is that Buzz Lightyear?

[C]

Can we zoom in?

[B]

That in fact, is Buzz Lightyear.

[A]

Holy shit. But Lightyear.

[B]

Okay, Shannon out. Cuz it was Instagram.

[D]

If you give me a second just to screenshot it, then I can give me one second.

[A]

Did the wings open up in his ass?

[B]

That is 100% what happened.

[C]

Don't want to be the way.

[B]

He went to the doctor to say that he had put a Buzz Lightyear figure in his hiney and while it was inside him, it pressed the button that made the wings eject.

[A]

Did it give him a woody?

[B]

Oh, and now he couldn't get. He had to get it surgically taken out because the wings basically acted like hooks.

[A]

Holy shit.

[C]

The claw.

[A]

They used the claw to get him out.

[B]

Oh, they did a colonoscopy and it's just full of all the little aliens.

[C]

Dude, look at that. You can see the wings deployed. Look at that. Yo, dude, Buzz Lightyear was spot on. You really know the objects up the ass there.

[A]

Well, no, I'm a big Toy Story.

[C]

Fan, but yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

[A]

You know, I'm more of a stick.

[B]

To the intestines and the arms. Exactly.

[C]

Wait till I stick a Slinky up my ass, dog.

[B]

There's a snake in your boot, buddy. I thought that was great. I read another story. And Shannon, if you could try and find It. If not, no worries. It was a guy goes to the hospital because he had an object in his hiney. He was a veteran and it was a. I believe, working artillery piece.

[C]

I was gonna say a 50 caliber round.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, no, they had to evacuate the hospital because it was. It was like a bomb. So they had to send the bomb squad into his butt.

[C]

Oh, that's wonderful.

[B]

I believe it was like an IED or some something. It looked like a big bullet.

[C]

Well, if it wasn't an ied, it sure was.

[A]

After that it was a watch that got from his father. That he got from his father. They all had it in their ass.

[C]

Hunk of metal off his ass watch.

[B]

Shannon, did you find anything that I'm talking about?

[D]

Yes, I'm just. I'm trying to. I found the article confirming it. I'm just trying to find. I found like this picture, but I can't make it bigger. So I can show it to you here.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

When I click on it, it tells me it's not available.

[C]

Oh, that's a mortar round. Yeah.

[B]

Excuse me.

[D]

A live artillery channel WW2 anti tank round.

[C]

Yeah, that's a mortar round. That's great. I mean, that is the most perfect object to stick up your ass if you had to stick something up your ass. 50 Cal round has a point.

[B]

How about just a regular cock?

[C]

Yeah, but you always have to up the ante. Well, yes, I'm sure Sometimes a cock's just not enough, Zach.

[B]

Yeah, that's why you move on to different races. And if you go beyond races, you're being greedy.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Don't be greedy. This is why men can't have pussies.

[C]

No, no, we can't.

[A]

Well, this is why men can't have fucking oblong objects. At least women are smart enough to put a string. Like if I'm gonna shove something in my pussy, I'm gonna pull it out. Like they need an emergency string on every dildo so they wouldn't have this problem.

[C]

Yeah, but sometimes that string breaks.

[B]

I feel like that's why dildos have balls on them a lot is. So they don't go all the way in.

[C]

It's a door shopper. But then you had the old school vibrators that were just a like cylindrical, long fucking white thing.

[A]

Yeah, but it would have a wire on it that's attached to.

[C]

No, it didn't. Remember just like some of them.

[B]

The ones we remember. The ones that took like Ds.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. The ones that they would sell at Spencers.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. The Big ones.

[C]

The ones that weren't atomic. What. What's the word?

[B]

Anatomically correct. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Is crazy. Now he's like, yeah, check out my dildo. I call this one Goliath. And you're like, yo, what the.

[C]

And that. And that's another thing, like you said, like, why guys don't have those. Dildos are getting progressively bigger and different shapes, so they doing exactly what guys would do if we had vaginas.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I feel like this guy's making them. I feel like the octopus fucking tentacle.

[C]

Don't have to do it.

[A]

It's a creepy guy.

[C]

I think a woman looks at that and goes, I got it. That's a challenge.

[A]

Well, they would fuck. And this shit could look like a.

[B]

Street, considering it took this long to get there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

For women. For guys, we would have run out of shit.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

In about a decade.

[C]

Well, I don't. I don't think there's a hole in this that hasn't had a guy's dick in it from, like, a tree.

[B]

No.

[C]

Mud hole, a gas tank. Like, every hole I think ever made had a cock in it.

[B]

At some point, I bet we know more about what feels good to fuck than what we can eat.

[C]

That's probably true. That's like, how did they discover to fuck manatees back then? Like, on the pirate ships? Like, you had to go through a trial and error to figure that out.

[A]

We got bored with food, man. Yeah, because that's our first instinct. To survive, eat, Second instinct, reproduce.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

So it's just eating.

[C]

And what do you think comes first? I would think reproducing comes first. Before eating.

[A]

No, because when you're starving, all you can think about is eating.

[C]

Well, the reason why I say that because, you know, like, you have, like, plane crashes and people stuck on a desert island, they starve to death, but somebody along that way first, you know?

[B]

Yeah, probably.

[A]

Yeah. But after, they had, like, a crab show, you know, some crabs from the beach. Or, like, at least a banana or something.

[C]

Huh.

[A]

Like, you ever start, like, you ever, like, starving, hungry ribs touching. And you like, damn, I want some pussy right now. No, you buy. I want a sandwich.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

I wish I had some pussy right now. That would make me a sandwich.

[B]

That's.

[A]

So it's always eat first, then fuck.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

That's our. That's our. Our how. We're basically.

[C]

I don't know, because sometimes when I eat too much, I can't. Like, I'm not in the mood to fudge. Like after a nice fudgeing Rhodesio.

[B]

I can't like nobody want. Nobody. Nobody wants to fuck on a full stomach.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a young man. That's like, that's like a first three months of dating.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

Come back from a steakhouse and fuck.

[C]

No. No way.

[B]

No way. No.

[C]

I used to make the mistake of taking girls out like for pizza on a first date. And I'm also lactose intolerant. So trying to fuck after you turn into a fart machine.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Was. Was a rough thing to do.

[B]

I was just. I. So I watch them friends with Badlands, the, the guy, the Chug ship. And I've followed a few of his friends now and like their, their sites when they do the challenges and stuff. And there's this guy Atlas and he's married or engaged with trick named Katina eats kilos. And this bitch ate a steak the other day. And when I tell you she is not a big chick and I can't. No, no, that's the. That that girl's insane.

[A]

Yeah. Well she's like, I'm gonna eat like, you know, 3,000 hard boiled eggs.

[B]

Yeah. That girl's out of, out of control. Katina is a little more human. But as she look up, Katina eats kilos. This bitch ate this steak that I couldn't even fathom where it went.

[C]

Really? Let me see. Is that one of those Texas challenges? Like fucking?

[B]

I think it might be bigger than that because I know what you're thinking about is the great outdoors that. The right, right. The 30. Whatever.

[C]

The 30 ounce cowboy tomahawk or something.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And she's not a pig.

[B]

A challenge with this thick of a big steak. So I'm. I'm intrigued by this. Shannon, what does the description say? How heavy is it?

[D]

76. Er.

[B]

It's a 76. Wow.

[C]

Just giant forearms.

[B]

It is steak eating time. She must work out like a beast.

[C]

She's got to do something.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

She got some bulky shoulders or she has worms.

[D]

She's shredded. I'll show you a picture after.

[B]

Yeah, her forearms are jacked.

[A]

This is going to be decades.

[B]

Thanks for cutting those steaks. It looks.

[C]

That's a steak.

[B]

Yeah. What did you think it was like.

[A]

A piece of like, like a pork shoulder.

[B]

Fat is not included, so I'm going to eat as much of it.

[C]

I don't think there's a bone in there either. Get a first bite. It does look fantastic though, man.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's garlicky. Okay. My wife. My wife could leave Me in the house with that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And come back five days later and I would just still be on the couch when Homer Simpson got the giant sandwich. Wow, this is cooked perfectly.

[D]

Skip forward a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, skip. I don't even have to watch the whole thing, obviously.

[C]

That's got to be a pain in the ass to cook.

[A]

Do they show her getting rid of it?

[C]

Yeah, look at that.

[A]

She must have taken like the world's massive.

[C]

Yeah, that's like I always.

[B]

Yeah, go to the end so we can see how she usually just looks miserable. So cheers. And she got dessert. God bless.

[C]

She's still happy. Look at that.

[D]

48 minutes.

[B]

But show them how shredded she is.

[D]

Oh, hold on, let me show you from her.

[B]

No, she's not like abs.

[D]

But she has abs.

[C]

She does have it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

All that protein.

[B]

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[D]

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[C]

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[D]

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[C]

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[A]

Thanks.

[B]

Have a good one.

[D]

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[B]

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[D]

That's kind of our thing. Wherever you sell businesses that grow, grow with Shopify.

[B]

Sign up for your $1 a month [e-mail]. listen, shopify.com.

[D]

Listen here. You can look at this one.

[C]

Oh, yeah, she does have abs. Look at that.

[B]

Good for her, man.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

That's crazy. Think about that. Yeah, a 76 ounce steak and 123 pound chip.

[C]

That's fucking impressive.

[A]

Yeah, her pussy got a six pack too.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, zoom in on the clit. See if it's the size of my fist.

[B]

I don't want to do that to Alice's wife. That's disrespectful.

[C]

Wait, who's his wife? Is this.

[B]

Her husband is Randy Santel. He's another. They do eating challenges together.

[C]

Oh, but you're friends with that dude, that show like the black dude?

[B]

Yeah, Badlands.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that dude is nuts, man.

[B]

We did a project like years ago that never came out. It was a predator.

[A]

Badlands?

[B]

No, the. The guy that. The big black guy that chugs stuff.

[C]

He drank like a fucking.

[B]

He does the Coney island pre chugs lemonade at the hot dog eating contest every year.

[A]

I think you guys are talking about George Floyd.

[B]

No, no, I showed. I show him on the TV all the time. He chugs like that guy? Yeah, this guy.

[C]

He put like every flavor of Mountain Dew in a fucking boot one time and just Slammed it right down.

[B]

Yeah, he's the man.

[C]

You're watching this poor.

[B]

He's in one of my. He's in a coup our movies. Really sweet guy. But. Yeah, I did a project with him years ago. It was a video game that never came out. It was supposed to be. This is going to age us. So I apologize. It was supposed to be like a SEGA CD horror game.

[C]

Like.

[B]

Like, it was supposed to be like Night Trap.

[C]

The Sega cd.

[A]

That was the attachment to the Sega. Yeah, yeah, the CD I played Dolphin on that.

[C]

That was before PlayStation. They never got the credit they deserve for coming out with that. This fucking.

[B]

And it was supposed to be nine different people on webcams and there was a killer going between them. And you had to figure out where the killer was going to strike next and stop them.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

While you had the remote control. But we basically everybody shot for like a full day of different options of shit that could happen.

[A]

Also, it's all video.

[B]

Like so it was all video and it was me and like eight other people and we all had like what I guess now would be like street live streams.

[C]

Yeah. How long ago was this?

[B]

2013, 24, 2014, I think.

[C]

Jesus Christ, man.

[B]

No, it was another. It was called.

[A]

Oh, are you. The game you're talking about was from SEGA cd.

[B]

The game that we were based on.

[A]

Based on. Okay, okay.

[B]

Our game was called Video Drone. D R O N E. I think not Drome. Video Drone or something like that. I remember it was at a video game convention advertised, and then they never finished it. But basically it had enough because everybody, I think, had three deaths and one where they killed the killer.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And there was enough stories available that you could play it like 150 times. Never get the same storm. They never finished it.

[C]

Oh, what the fuck.

[B]

Shannon, could you look up Video Drone with an N? And I think maybe pax. Pax was the video game convention. It was at. I've seen Reddit threads about asking about what it is and shit.

[C]

Yeah, dude, fucking get that out there. You have the.

[B]

It was the guys that made. They. There was a video game called Super Meat Boy. Mm. And I want to say they produced it.

[C]

Super Meat Boy.

[B]

But yeah, I was in it with a bunch of trolling people. Badlands was in it and one or two other weirdos. It was very fun.

[C]

Yeah, that does sound fucking interesting. That would have been great if it came out during COVID Yeah, well, no.

[B]

We tried it way before. We tried. It was an ambitious project. I think it was one guy trying to really make it by himself. And it was too much work. Ah.

[C]

That's why he didn't want to pay anybody else.

[B]

Yeah. But it was. It was a cool. Shannon, did you find anything?

[D]

I'm just getting a lot of like, you know what?

[B]

Cam drone. C A M space D R O N A. I think it's going to.

[D]

Be the same thing. I just.

[C]

That might be a different packs.

[D]

Yeah, it just. It's just a bunch of like drone.

[B]

Okay. Cam drone. Video games.

[C]

Spied into people's fucking bedroom and put.

[B]

Video game in quotation marks.

[A]

A bunch of Russians and Ukrainians killing themselves.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

It says a bunch of.

[C]

Who is.

[D]

It's really fighting me.

[B]

Don't worry about it.

[D]

The first thing that comes up is there is no specific video game called. But it says camera drone. But I typed cam drone.

[B]

No, don't worry about it. We'll figure somebody will find it and put it in on Reddit or whatever.

[A]

You guys have seen all the backlash that Call of Duty's been getting.

[B]

No, for what?

[A]

Have a whole team, like their whole development. Like the.

[C]

The.

[A]

For the game. It's all women. It was like maybe two guys. A lot of them's in it and people are just showing why, like throughout the game they're like, oh yeah, this is definitely. It was like a golf reference. It's like something with par in the numbers. She was like, the guy's like, does anybody fucking play golf? And then it just shows the picture and it's just like 39 women in.

[C]

Two, for fuck's sake, man. And everybody says the game sucks. Now leave the fucking game. It was a well oiled machine. Why do this to yourself? I don't get it.

[A]

I don't think women know video games like that.

[C]

They don't know like a war.

[A]

Like leave video games for the autistic scamp. Like, yeah.

[C]

Type thing. Those were the ones that knew about it. That's why they were so good.

[A]

Like, leave it up to them.

[B]

This is why grand theft auto 6 has taken so long.

[A]

Yeah. Because they have a bunch of women.

[C]

My fear is, right now, to be honest with you, why it's taken so long is because they're actually editing. They're editing out all the shit that could be offensive to other people.

[A]

No, they got a gay pride parade in there. They don't give a fuck.

[C]

I know, but I think they're doing. They're not going to be able to interfere with that gay.

[A]

Oh, 100% you will. Yes.

[C]

You. I cannot.

[A]

There's nothing if you can't get a car in there. You can get a jet or a plane in there.

[C]

I don't know. I can't see Grand Theft Auto.

[A]

Both sides are going to love it.

[B]

I have a feeling, since you could Kill the Feminist and red Dead Redemption 2, that they will find a way that you could shoot up a game.

[C]

How many years ago were we talking when that game came out where you were?

[B]

Right.

[C]

You know what I mean? I mean, here's gonna be the test. When you first jump on that first Vespa and it doesn't say Faggio is the name of the goddamn Vespa. That's how, you know, they went completely woke.

[A]

I think what they're. They're waiting on is the online play. They're trying to. They're trying to bring that whole NFT shit into it.

[C]

Well, think about. They even made a female. The. The main character, which, when I first saw that.

[A]

No, the thing that got me mad was they should have went with the storyline where the story starts with a prostitute getting hit by a car, ending up in the hospital.

[C]

Is that how it starts?

[A]

No, it's like a Bonnie and Clyde.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I feel like if they would have a female character, she should have got hit by a car because everybody had a prostitute in Grand Theft.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it shows her revenge. It's like Grand Theft Auto 6. A Horse Revenge or some shit. And that would have been a better storyline than, oh, yeah, I'm dating a criminal that. Oh, I'm dating a guy. And I'm. And I'm more gangster than my boyfriend.

[C]

I hope it's not that.

[A]

I think it seems like that it's because she's in jail and he's waiting for her when it should have been the other way around.

[B]

I think the easiest commercial of all time. And they kind of. And I'm not. They're going to make a ton of money, obviously.

[C]

Of course. Yeah. Especially with all that.

[A]

It's going to be like 150.

[B]

They're going to make a boatload of money. And I'm an idiot, doesn't know what I'm talking about. But had this been the commercial and then they stuck with it, I think we would be all so excited. And all the trailer had to be was synth music and it says GTA and 6. So VI and then it just fills in CE and it says Vice City 2.

[C]

Yeah, that would have been fucking wonderful.

[B]

That would have been GTA 6, Vice City 2. And it would have been the easiest sell in the world. And it's just where those. Whoever survived that one is now. And new people coming up. And it's kind of almost making fun of departed Irishman. Like the old guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Mob movies and the new guys coming in. So you could almost have the old Italian mob guys be ancient. And then you play as young black and Hispanic guys who grew up idolizing the people from Vice City.

[C]

Yeah, see, that would be perfect. Yeah, that'd be wonderful.

[B]

That's how you leave the same mansions, everything. It's just all now current.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Looks like now how everything's different. Once the same.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's why I loved San Andreas. When they bring in Salvatore and it's like, oh, that's like a blast from the pet.

[B]

Like.

[C]

And you can see like the mob is going to. It's on its way out.

[B]

Yeah. 90s, you know, sons of people, daughters of people.

[A]

Yeah, that's dope.

[B]

So then it would have been a game for kids and a game for us because then we would have been psyched to get a sequel to the one that when we were kids.

[A]

Yeah, Like Taylor Swift's era. Tourist tour throughout the hours and then you end the commercial release date whenever the fuck we feel like drop asking.

[C]

Release date. Not anytime soon. Don't worry about it.

[B]

All right? We haven't done any stories other than Buzz Lightyear in a butthole. So we got a lot of fun stuff. Hey guys, real quick. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created Body Brain Coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically testosterone. Packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and yeah, in the bedroom too. And it's not just about tea. Body brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity and mood, thanks to lion's mane, Ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters and a crash, Body brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm and locked in, all while supporting your natural testosterone levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. You can save 15% today with the promo code [e-mail] that's Z O O 15 bodybraincoffee.com powerbraincoffee.com power your day, feel your drive. Let's get back into the show. Let's. Okay, let's. We love animals here at the zoo.

[C]

We do. Yeah.

[B]

And I think if you're going to parade around animals, I'm not necessarily against it. I'm not against animal shows as long as they're treated right. But also, I'm taking a risk.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are we talking about bestiality here?

[C]

You can't keep.

[B]

No, no. For families.

[A]

All right.

[C]

All right.

[B]

And well, we gotta. We got a bear show and Shannon, I don't remember where this is.

[C]

I stole one of those last night.

[B]

But a bear refuses to go on stage.

[D]

This is difficult. China.

[B]

So let's see how this goes.

[A]

That's a real. Oh, yeah. Now, is that an audience member or.

[B]

No, that's a trainer.

[A]

Good. Lucky the other one didn't jump in.

[B]

That's crazy because it doesn't even seem like that big of a bear. No, I think that's.

[A]

Oh, but that's a small bear. But those things can still. That was very strong as she got the basketball.

[C]

Hit him with a bit.

[A]

Where'd they get a basketball hoop from?

[C]

Oh, that's amazing. God bless that bear. And a parrot. What's the parrot going to do? Parrot.

[A]

Pause the Paris. Just saying the N word over there.

[B]

What a terrible. Everyone went and grabbed a weapon.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Somebody has a stick. Yes. Somebody has a stool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Somebody has a basketball hoop. And somebody has a parrot.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

The only way that parrot is useful is if you go, hey, if you let him go, you could eat this fucking parrot.

[C]

Where the parish just insulting them to death.

[A]

Yeah. I just like how they brought like a basketball hoop. My.

[C]

Got a picnic basket.

[B]

What a bad group. What a what? How everyone was so unprepared for this.

[C]

Yeah. They had no idea that the bear might get upset.

[A]

I give this to them because if this would have been in this country, everybody would have backed away and let him be. They all would have just pulled out the camera.

[C]

Oh, that thing is fucking wontons now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not the workers. The workers would have all jumped in.

[A]

Oh, out here, look what happened with Harambe. Nobody jumped in. They're like, I'm standing.

[C]

Yeah. I'm not going near a gorilla.

[A]

They would have done the same thing here. Everybody would have been scared.

[C]

Dude, that's fine, people.

[A]

Now they're trained different.

[C]

Yeah. But also, Chinese are not really known to be too nice to animals during their shows at all. They're kind of mean.

[A]

I mean, they're just.

[B]

And if you go back and look, Harambe probably was Fentanyl. Yeah, if I'm getting my news story.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, he did get arrested for, you know, he had a lot of priors. Yeah, he's a defraud.

[C]

Like fake checks and he had his hands up.

[A]

Did a porno and everything.

[B]

He held a gun to a pregnant woman. I saw that music video.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Chad, can you rewind a little? Because I'm enjoying this. This Chinese fire drill of a bear rescue. All right, everyone, grab your weapons.

[C]

Bear hates parrot.

[A]

They like a basketball hoop.

[B]

I choose you. He's not even hitting them hard. Swing that thing.

[A]

That is the best weapon because if you get his head in there. Yeah, and it's almost like a shield, too. That'd be. Was thinking. She was thinking on her feet.

[C]

Look.

[A]

Now she. He's attacking the basketball.

[C]

Oh, look at the takedown skills on the bear, though. My God, that bear is trained.

[A]

Let's get the parrot and the parrot.

[C]

Get rid of your parrot.

[B]

Get the parrot out of here. What are you doing, you dinks? I got to be honest with you. The basketball hoop was brilliant.

[C]

Oh, I love this angle. I just want to see what they're doing with the par. You put the parrot back. The parrot's going. You listen.

[B]

Yeah. Yo, get him away from me.

[C]

Listen, the parrot's going nuts by the neck.

[A]

Idiot. Stop it.

[C]

I always know you were a faggot. Yeah, they.

[A]

They want to play that in Dagestan. Bear up.

[B]

They chuck that bear out.

[C]

Yeah, that rifle's going right underneath that bear's chin.

[A]

Get Khabib Islam. He would have taking that.

[B]

I'm sorry I'm making you do so much work today. Can you please Google Tracy Smothers? S M O T H E R S WRESTLES bear. So there was a wrestler that I love, Tracy Smothers. He trained my friend Mickey.

[C]

Was this recently?

[B]

No, Tracy Smothers is from back in the day. Tracy passed away a few years ago. When he's an old timing tough guy. Tough guy. And when he was younger, he did an exhibition with a bear in front of a crowd. They used to do this. And do you watch how wild this is.

[A]

Oh, Birmingham. Fuck it.

[C]

For the continental championship.

[B]

How cool is this, dude?

[C]

Is the bear muzzle? No, no.

[A]

Now, the thing is, when you wrestle a bear, does this bear. Is this like a pet bear that you have? Like, did you grow up with this?

[B]

I think the bear is like, oh, bear is trained. But I mean.

[C]

I mean, train. They're not, though. You Keep wrestling a fucking bear.

[A]

What stops him from like swiping at your chest or biting your neck or biting your.

[B]

I'd imagine his nails are filed down.

[C]

I think that would still hurt though.

[B]

Yeah, but still. Yeah, I mean, he's got a person there to stop him if he goes nuts, but yeah, I feel like that just. I feel like he.

[C]

Stroke.

[B]

Look at the one hit. By the way, I think the bear is playing.

[A]

No, I know that like. Like you wrestle with a dog. But I'm like.

[C]

It's like crushes forearm right there though.

[B]

I think the bear's having fun.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.

[A]

Or is this like the train is like, oh, he'll wrestle with you if you play for. But if you show any ounce of fear, he will attack and kill you.

[B]

That headlock of the bear is brilliant.

[C]

Dude. Dude, that hiragoshi sweep like that hits a bear every time they stand straight up on their fat legs.

[A]

He's like, get back in there.

[C]

All right.

[B]

And Shannon, you. You love animals. Is that cruel?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

That. That right there, that was terrible.

[D]

I'm pretty sure I kind of feel bad. Pretty sure that bear doesn't have teeth. Yeah, it's all terrible. I hate it.

[A]

But. But there's a reason he doesn't have teeth. Shannon.

[C]

Yeah, this was enough. That bear is actually a retired wrestler who went down the tubes.

[B]

It was actually a hockey goalie. Yeah, that was his old job. His old circus job.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Shannon, you should appreciate animal cruelty more because if it was just you and that bear in the woods, that he wouldn't think. He wouldn't have no sympathy for you.

[D]

That's okay. That's like. That's like his habitat. And that's his instinct.

[A]

Exactly.

[D]

That's fine.

[A]

So if we get. If he gets treated like that, it's for a reason. No, it's necessary.

[D]

For what reason?

[A]

To protect him? To keep him away from us?

[D]

No. So they're just gonna like abuse this poor animal that should just be left alone in the woods to do its own thing?

[A]

Listen, sometimes you got to dominate animals and sometimes even some racist bro.

[D]

That's not going to stop me from getting attacked by a bear in the woods.

[A]

Yeah, well, you have to dominate.

[B]

Everyone's really nice to him in the back.

[C]

Like everyone's like giving them salmon.

[D]

That doesn't happen.

[A]

No, it's not. It's going to snap one day and.

[C]

Just, just that seems to happen. You can't keep a bear trained. They always at some point go, you know what I'm of part A. Yeah.

[B]

I think there's always a day.

[C]

Yeah, there's always a day.

[B]

You know what? I don't like riding this bike.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. You know, I'm not putting this basketball in a hoop. Yeah.

[B]

Roller skating. Not for me.

[C]

Yeah, it hurts my paws. You can clearly see they don't fit. You keep jamming them in these rollerblades.

[B]

This feels silly.

[C]

Yeah. I'm tired of you guys making me look like so gay all the time. Yeah.

[A]

Why do I gotta wear this Egyptian bucket on my head all the time?

[C]

Yeah, exactly. Tired of wearing this.

[B]

Fez. Hey, listen, you're gonna make me dance these little Chinese kids again.

[C]

Remember the last one through pine cones at me. I'm not doing it.

[B]

I mean, we're not gonna need like. Have you guys seen how good the Paddington on Broadway? Not bro, the Paddington musical. That. That Paddington looks.

[A]

No, they have an actual bear.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

That would be awesome.

[B]

Shannon, I'm so sorry. So they're doing Paddington the musical in England right now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And they have a Not little. Little person, but a very short statured actor playing a bear in the Paddington suit. But the Paddington suit is like animatronic too. Dude, you've got to say get the fuck out. How fucking good how it is. Ba Nana's how good Paddington looks.

[C]

It doesn't look like a little rascal gorilla suit.

[B]

Dude, that looks so. Oh, wow.

[C]

D.

[A]

That's a little person.

[C]

Prick.

[B]

It's cute as hell.

[C]

Dude. It is cute.

[B]

If that thing walked in here, you wouldn't be like, get in here.

[C]

What's the mongoloid look like underneath the suit?

[B]

It's a little chick.

[C]

Is it?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have her come out in the. Without the suit on in the inter. The. The. Excuse me. The curtain call.

[A]

Let's get a bikini picture of her on Instagram.

[B]

But come on. How to use that.

[C]

It is kind of cute, but knowing that there's a creepy midget under there. That would. That would.

[A]

She might be a hot one.

[C]

I doubt it.

[B]

She's not weird looking.

[C]

She's just have like the big.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. She's not freaky looking.

[C]

Little fat.

[A]

Probably the girl that was eating the steak.

[B]

Yeah. Dude, how cool is that bag?

[C]

That is insane, man. That's really fudgeing nuts. We're going to have.

[B]

We're going to. We can have. We're going to have shows of those one day.

[C]

We should. That would be a good gimmick if you really want to fucking.

[B]

Because right now Chinese users are just getting caught like, you know, spray painting. Dogs look like pandas. If there's one thing they got, it's more Chinese people throw them in some suits.

[C]

Well, I mean, God bless the Chinese for always trying to trick us. I mean, you spray painted a Labrador retriever like a fucking. It's like, you know, you tried. God.

[B]

There she is.

[C]

Wait, wait, that's a midget.

[B]

Yeah, she's. I mean she's tiny.

[C]

That looks like a. Just a short.

[A]

It looks like a little. Shannon.

[C]

Wait a minute right there. She kind of looks like a shrunken head doll a little bit.

[B]

Shannon, can you get her height?

[C]

Yeah, there's something a little odd there. There's always one feature that gives him away.

[D]

Four foot.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that. Nine or ten inches below the minimum for me. Dude, I read about. God damn it. I'm sorry. I'm doing this all day today. I'm very scatterbrained.

[C]

Right, sorry.

[B]

I've been doing a bit on stage and I don't want to do the whole bit, but about how there's a girl with down syndrome who became a lawyer.

[C]

I saw that and I knew a.

[B]

Bit about it, dude. I read about another lawyer, a female lawyer and this article blew my mind.

[A]

Wait, is. Wait for. Is she Jewish?

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Down syndrome and not you fucking.

[B]

I got a whole bit about it. Trust me, I love it. I read about a lawyer last night. Shannon. Another weird Google. She is blind and this is how the article described her.

[A]

Excuse me.

[B]

Deaf, blind and black.

[C]

Oh my God. Wait.

[A]

Oh so hard cuz you.

[B]

I don't know but if you're deaf at this. Dude, I was super high last night.

[C]

And then you have to pick and.

[B]

I had a panic attack that right there. I had a panic attack trying to think about how to even go about life deaf and blind. And this bitch got her. Yeah, her fucking. She passed. She's a fucking lawyer. Should I do a video of her and could we put her name out there? Your honor, I am might imagine. Is she a lawyer or her friend a lawyer who gives her the messages?

[A]

Her dog's the lawyer.

[C]

You know you lost the case when your lawyer walks in with a seeing eye dog, you know it's over and.

[B]

A hearing and a hearing parrot. Yeah, it tells the dog what to tell you what it where does she not like? How does she. What Matlock is she getting into?

[C]

Oh my God, look at her eyes. She has a nice body. If it wasn't for her face. Schools medical centers is ableism. Ableism is a system of disabled people.

[D]

As inferior to non disabled people.

[C]

When I arrived in college, I discovered.

[D]

The menus in the cafeteria were only in print.

[C]

Wait, I couldn't read it. Not because of.

[B]

Can you go backwards?

[C]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Because of the menus. And the caf believes that treats.

[B]

Did somebody fart? Listen.

[C]

Really?

[D]

I also heard that.

[B]

I swear to God. Do you think she farted because she.

[C]

Thinks nobody can hear it?

[B]

Oh, my God. Listen really close. Nobody talks.

[D]

I think it's right. I think it's a child. Because right after you hear the child cry. Let's see.

[C]

Inferior to non disabled people. When I arrived in college, I discovered.

[D]

The menus in the cafeteria were only in class.

[C]

I couldn't read it. Not because of blindness, but because of.

[D]

The format of the menu.

[C]

The idea of disabled people going to university, work at school. And that's a classic example of evil pause. Maybe you should put on some sunglasses.

[B]

If you're deaf and you're blind, how do you know you're really a lawyer and that they're not just like putting you in a closet every day and telling you you're working on shit now?

[C]

Go ahead, handle this case, sweetheart. Yeah, fake case, like Judge Judy.

[A]

If you can't see their skin color, how are you gonna know if they're guilty or not? The fuck you can't. Ray Charles, feel their elbow and be.

[C]

Like, ah, we got ashy today. That's 40 to life.

[A]

I think I don't smell cocoa butter. So.

[B]

Your honor, my representative has. Has asked to feel the defendant's nostrils.

[A]

From the. From feeling on his bulge, I could tell he is 100 guilty.

[B]

Your Honor, my lawyer, before she proceeds, would like to feel the client's hair.

[C]

She could feel the water coming right off the hair.

[B]

Your honor. Yes or no? Question. Would our defendant be likely to swim? Dude, that's crazy. Like, think about that. She's your death and you're blind.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you get up and do shit.

[A]

Yeah, dude. Helen Keller was just like this world renowned, like public speaker for like in her adult.

[C]

But how is that her voice normally you hear?

[B]

So she went to. She went. I believe she went deaf and blind to a congenitive disease over time. She wasn't born because I was even trying to figure out how the fuck do you communicate with someone who's born deaf and blind?

[C]

How do you put.

[B]

Like, what do you do with them other than just sit them in a corner and feed them, Pour water on.

[A]

Their hand and let them figure it.

[C]

Out like a dog?

[B]

Yeah, but how do you.

[C]

Over the nose, like, this is where the water.

[A]

Boredom.

[B]

I don't even know how to like, like, make connections or form words and thoughts and ideas to communicate.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If it's touch only.

[C]

She would be cute if they found her a nice pair of Ray bans. Googly eyes is.

[B]

Maybe she wants it because she's an advocate. She doesn't. People feel bad about their googly eyes.

[C]

Yeah, that's true. And maybe that's what wins are the case. Like, look at this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, go.

[C]

You're going to. You're gonna vote against this?

[B]

Yeah. You know, that's a freak, dude. Like.

[A]

Yeah. She's looking at the judge and the jury at the same time. Your honor.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Your honor is blind.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But it's not cockeyed.

[C]

Yeah. She could smell when you're lying. Judged by the.

[B]

In his hands, it's cocoa butter.

[C]

Smells Biscuits and fried chicken.

[A]

You're blind. She catches an arrow.

[C]

But I mean, does that not seem a little like you kind of. You're kind of lowering the standards of our judicial system.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Of our judicial. Judicial.

[B]

I don't think they give her. Are you saying that they kind of.

[C]

Pushed her through a little bit to be like, look what we did here. The down syndrome girl, you know? Yeah. The down syndrome person. Like that is fucking. How is that a lawyer?

[A]

I feel like the first person.

[B]

I feel like you could.

[A]

Out of sympathy. I feel like.

[B]

No. I feel like they could really get it. The blind and the deaf person. I'm like, how do they Braille?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

It feels like they need three people with them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To lawyer.

[C]

And then it's kind of not confidentiality because you have three other fucking people watching your case.

[A]

So people have a team of lawyers. They have paralegals and.

[C]

Yeah, a team of lawyers. Not a team of handlers. That's true. You know, you have three lawyers.

[B]

Technically. I feel like all of her. I don't know what you call them. Assistants, however, what you would call them. I feel like they're all technically lawyers too.

[C]

They would have to be, I guess, Right. To understand it just seems like a lot.

[A]

Yeah. For like the paralegals and shit. It's just like, hey, you know, I need you to, you know, study gun law and help me wipe my ass later. Yeah. Just get an extra.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Extra chore.

[C]

It's kind of hard to trust your lawyer when you have to tap the seat so she finds the toilet, which you can't hear either. So. No. Then there's nothing you could do. Nothing.

[A]

I could just imagine if I'm like, at court, cuz my mom has got me some shady lawyers. I was like, locked up, and I just. Just. I just picture myself standing there in handcuffs and then my lawyer walking over to, like, the DA side, and I'm like, no, no, ma', am, you're over.

[B]

You're over here.

[A]

And I'm like, oh, man.

[C]

She keeps missing her chair when she goes to sit down, Cuz, I mean.

[A]

I mean, the thing is, you want a competent person who costs a lot of money and has a lot of connections, because that's what law is, just paying a lot of money to get out of trouble.

[C]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

No.

[C]

Is there any record of a case that she handled?

[B]

I think she's more of a advocate and a figurehead for other disabled groups more than she's, like, necessarily doing cases.

[C]

So then what they're really doing.

[B]

She's an advocacy lawyer.

[A]

Well, so she's not a criminal lawyer?

[B]

I don't believe so.

[C]

So they're giving people false hope.

[B]

No, I think it's still pretty crazy, dude, that had to work hard.

[A]

I mean, listen.

[B]

I don't know if I want to get out of bed. I don't want to get out of bed. I can see in fucking here.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

And I want to kill myself. I can't imagine fucking.

[C]

But a law degree that's supposed to.

[B]

Silent darkness all the time.

[A]

But what does that mean?

[D]

She also graduated from Harvard Law.

[C]

Okay, yeah. This is all bullshit. No way is she graduating from Harvard Law. There's people.

[B]

I think maybe she did.

[A]

What happened to the days when you just had him cleaning the dining room at McDonald's? Like, what the. Like, why do we look at the good old days? But again, like, Kim Kardashian has a law degree. So how sacred is it, passing the bar?

[D]

She didn't. She didn't pass the bar.

[A]

She didn't pass the bar.

[C]

No. She would keep missing. And then that's when she made that video of her crying.

[B]

Yeah. That she has ADHD or whatever.

[A]

But you meant the video where the. The bar went across her forehead.

[C]

Yeah, that's different. That was Ray J's bar.

[B]

So, Shannon, you agree with me? This is together.

[D]

Yeah. She's incredible, right?

[B]

That's a really inspiring person.

[A]

Wait, hold on. So you're telling me right now, I don't know, that Kim Kardashian doesn't have a law degree and the person with down syndrome does?

[D]

Yeah, Kim Kardashians are.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. That. That's the case right there. Showing that retarded doesn't always mean an actual retard.

[B]

Yeah, but the case, dude, I don't know. I think that blind and deaf girl fucking is a.

[A]

She's probably a beast, but I think.

[B]

She'D probably be probably smart as fuck. Yeah.

[C]

Books and Braille.

[A]

It's easy.

[B]

Audiobooks, I'm sure they're all in braille.

[C]

No, she can't hear either.

[A]

She can't hear?

[B]

Yeah, she's deaf and blind.

[C]

Deaf and blind.

[A]

But how deaf, though? Because you could be, like, half deaf.

[C]

And, like, she didn't hear that kid crying, and she just pushed right through that kid himself. Yeah, exactly. Even the kid knew it was that. He's crying.

[B]

That kid just crying himself. Give him a water grade.

[C]

Exactly, dude. I don't know.

[B]

But that's the vault on our hands.

[A]

But I mean that. I think it's usually the women that go there, because, like, even with Helen Kell, like, you're blind, deaf, and d. And that goes to show that, like, the resilience and strength of a woman, because, you know, through that hardship, you still don't know how to shut the up. Like, you still. Did you hear her yapping? Like, you think you're gonna be with a deaf and mute girl or not mute, but a deaf girl, and that's what you get?

[C]

Well, yeah, I mean, it's better than that.

[B]

I don't know what you buy.

[A]

No, I would rather that than that, honestly. If a girl that talked like that and her eyes were.

[B]

Yeah, because you're used to retarded gibberish. She'd do a podcast with Derek.

[C]

That's true, too.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

Shannon, can you bring up Helen Keller speaking? I want. I want to know what her speaking voice was like. God, I don't want to make fun of it.

[C]

It's just all bass, no treble.

[B]

Sounds like Biggie. Yeah. Oh, now you know.

[C]

Yeah, it sounds like a house song.

[A]

On my teacher Warrior boarded me to learn water.

[B]

No, I think she. I don't know.

[C]

Did they have recordings? Recordings?

[B]

I think they had to. Yeah, they did.

[A]

If not one time from 1940s.

[B]

Yeah, of course they had recordings.

[A]

I mean, they got Hitler speeches.

[C]

That's true, too.

[A]

Can we got a translated Anne Frank speech?

[C]

Which one's her?

[A]

This is the movie.

[C]

It's a movie.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Oh, this is her.

[C]

Oh, okay, now I know which one it is.

[A]

Oh, I hope it's one of those videos where they just dub the N word. Like, oh, what does she sound like?

[C]

She's sniffing her fingers from that other.

[A]

Lady, she's feeling lips.

[B]

It is an unnatural.

[A]

So she read lips and breath is her great sorrow.

[C]

For all our years of effort, Helen.

[B]

Has never learned to speak clearly. This isn't strange, for since she was a baby.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

Let me try to find out how they go. Play it or.

[D]

No, she goes. Her mouth is moving, but they're not like letting us hear it.

[B]

I bet it's pretty bad.

[C]

Sounds like goosebumps.

[A]

Because she.

[D]

I mean, she is mute, so I doubt she was gonna hear. Yeah, that's the dumb part of the blind. Deaf and dumb.

[B]

Dumb means can't speak. Oh, what did you think it meant?

[A]

But they can still kind of.

[B]

You thought that was added deaf, dumb and stupid.

[C]

The whole fucking time I'm just like.

[B]

Wait, did you think Tommy was about a deaf.

[C]

Wait, who?

[B]

Tommy, by the. Who was about a deaf, stupid, blind pit bull player.

[C]

Exactly. But this is exactly what I thought.

[B]

That deaf, retarded blind boy.

[A]

I got. I got three cousins who are deaf and they.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

They kind of. They sound out words, but like certain, like, syllables. They can't because they're not hearing it. Yeah, they're kind of pronouncing it on this. The low. The little bit of sound that they hear and the way your lips move.

[C]

I think the H is the hard one.

[A]

I think S S because for years my cousin like, yo, duck my dick, duck my dick. Like, Ss, they say D S Seems.

[C]

Like that's always a hard one for everybody when they first learn English. That the S is the tough one and the L and.

[A]

And they sound illiterate. Like when they write.

[B]

She was like, say it right or I'm gonna stop.

[A]

Pronounce your S's.

[C]

My helmet. My helmet.

[B]

Work the shaft.

[A]

That's almost how he sounded. Oh. When they would argue with the funniest.

[C]

Oh, God. That's got to be more annoying, though.

[B]

Oh, they're going to be awful.

[C]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

It's what the.

[A]

And one. One. One is gay and the other one is. Just says the N word a lot.

[C]

So he can't do anything.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

One's gay, says the N word.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Grew up in yer. So delighted.

[B]

I like that. You said that like it was a pinky in the brain lyric. One says the NW the other is a.

[C]

What are you guys doing tonight?

[A]

Brain.

[B]

Same thing we do every night.

[A]

Get Gio to duck my dick. Try to take over Dio mouth.

[B]

You ready to go fuck some guys in your butt.

[A]

No.

[C]

We going to try to pronounce Our syllables.

[A]

My syllables.

[B]

Oh, man, this is. This is taking a turn.

[C]

Yeah, I like the turns.

[B]

We're going sleep. Those. I apologize. Even though they're in a deaf accent.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, by the way, this is how you say it in sign language so you get in trouble.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Really.

[C]

Wow. There's even a sign language.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Helen. Helen Kellers. I don't know if you know this. Her father was a colonel in the.

[B]

Confederate army, and the first thing he said to her was, don't date me.

[A]

No, she had.

[C]

She.

[A]

She. She actually is credited for coming up with the sign language word for N. Word.

[C]

Are you serious?

[A]

Shannon, look it up. You're not gonna find it, but.

[C]

This amazing person came up with a racial slur in sign language.

[A]

It just takes it to my page of AI generated video I made on.

[B]

Yeah, dude, that's brilliant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, all right. We're doing. We're having a fun little show today. We're getting through some. All right. This is very sad, but it's also happening right now, so I want to cover it on this one. I don't know if you guys saw. There was video a few weeks ago of Andy Dick, like, just hanging out on a street corner, just, like, sitting on the ground. He didn't look well.

[C]

He never did.

[B]

People were afraid that he might have had a stroke or something he hadn't seen together. Well, unfortunately, Andy Dick suffers overdose. Video shows bystanders trying to revive them. Shannon, what happened to poor Mr. He's. He's still with us for the moment. What happened to this poor guy?

[D]

I'll show you the video first.

[A]

Cocking cocaine. Is he okay?

[B]

Andy, are you okay, buddy? Is he okay? Hey, Eddie.

[A]

Oh, you on that Fenny, Eddie?

[C]

Damn.

[A]

That's that fentanyl. Hey, Andy.

[B]

Andy, wake up.

[C]

Wake up.

[A]

Wake up. What the.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[C]

That doesn't work.

[B]

Oh, that's really bad, man. This poor guy.

[D]

Look how he made sure that he's still filming by the way he looked back at the camera.

[C]

Yeah, that's up, man. He knew. He knew that this was gonna get him a couple pretty pennies he probably.

[A]

Sold in the bag and was like, ah, I need some evidence to show I helped him.

[B]

He probably went around the corner. That sucks, dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So, Shannon, what's the deal? They saved them.

[D]

Yeah. So they.

[B]

They.

[D]

They haven't confirmed what he's on, but they gave him Narcan. And then what they're assuming happens because this wasn't confirmed, but they're assuming that once he, like, came back to that he refused additional medical care because he was not taken to the hospital.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's fine. He's on dope.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He's always had substance abuse problems, though.

[B]

Yeah. But I feel like he's never been a dope head.

[A]

All cokeheads eventually go to dope.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It eventually graduates.

[C]

You have to go to sleep somehow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You can't.

[A]

And then eventually the heroin takes over the coke addiction, and then you get.

[C]

A nice speedball, and then that's what happens.

[A]

I mean, the fact that he lived this long is pretty impressive.

[C]

Yeah, I'm surprised that he didn't go sooner than this. I mean, he's got to be, what, maybe almost 60 right now?

[B]

I don't know. How old's Rogan?

[C]

58.

[D]

He's 59.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Andy Dick is 59.

[A]

That's an old dick.

[C]

Heart could only take so much. All the coke that guy's done.

[B]

I mean, he seems like a lot.

[C]

He is, yeah. Every story you ever hear about him, he's a fucking menace.

[B]

Yeah, I know. It was the. The guys that used to have the podcast, Mean Boys, they had a night out at the Comedy Store with him, with.

[C]

He.

[B]

And he, like, got their car and shit, and they were hanging out with them all night, and they, like, live tweeted it. Oh, boy. And they took it all down the next day because it was pretty sad. Oh, boy.

[C]

God.

[D]

Well, we had him on the SDR show during the pandemic, so it was through zoom. And the first half of the episode was him in the shower.

[A]

What.

[B]

Doing a bit, though.

[D]

I don't. It didn't appear that way. It was a zoom episode of the SDR show. Yeah. And, yeah, he was a crazy pants.

[A]

Was this before or after he saw you? Was on the live.

[C]

Putting it lightly, Shannon. He's a crazy pants.

[B]

I think that's him just doing a bit, though.

[D]

It didn't. It didn't seem that way because it was like, before we actually started recording, and he was like, oh, I didn't realize this was the time, but I'm just gonna go ahead and continue getting ready for my day and start the show.

[A]

So what he was like, from, like, nipples down, covered, like.

[B]

You don't see anything?

[D]

No. Yeah, I didn't see his penis or anything.

[A]

Was his arm moving mysteriously weird throughout the episode?

[D]

No.

[B]

Supposedly huge piece.

[A]

Really?

[C]

That's what I heard, too.

[B]

Yeah, they heard. I heard he used to do the wristwatch of parties.

[A]

Oh, hell, yeah. So is Dick not his last name? And that's. He Just gave himself that. Yeah, his name is just like, Arnold.

[C]

It's actually Giant Dick Short Bergstein.

[A]

I feel like he's one of those.

[C]

Wait, is he gay or is he bi?

[B]

He has kids.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So he likes both things.

[B]

I mean, Diddy has kids and he has kids. He's. I think he's been, like, acute. Like, he's definitely, like. I remember him telling the story on a podcast about, like, being a teenager and having gay sex. Yeah, he's definitely, like, open.

[C]

Poor Andy Dick. Do we have a picture of his face? Like, when he.

[A]

Show a picture of his. What are you talking about?

[C]

I'm sure that's out.

[A]

Let's see this Ritz watch.

[C]

I want to see this.

[B]

Oh, wow, dude. Jeez, he's blue, dude.

[A]

And then.

[B]

Yeah, you know what? The way the guy set up the.

[C]

Camera like that, he knew. What a douche.

[B]

Yeah, that's upsetting.

[A]

Is there a still picture of what he looks like now?

[D]

Wait, is this one moving? What do you mean, a still picture?

[B]

No, I mean, like. He means like a higher death. Like.

[A]

Yeah, something where he's kind of.

[B]

No, I think there's more. Just got video of him. Oh, that was. You know what? Big ups. I hope he does okay. I hope he kicks out. Man, that's sad.

[A]

Yeah, that's sad.

[B]

All right. Santa Mark faces serious charges in Mercer County. Shannon.

[A]

One moment.

[B]

Take your time.

[D]

Okay. Okay, so this is a New Jersey, like, Santa for hire. He also has a website, which I'll show you in a second, so that you can, like, rent him for corporate events and stuff. And so they found that he has child pornography. He uploaded multiple file files of suspected child pornography to the Internet. So he shared it with other people. Let's see, they're charging him with second degree distribution of child sexual abuse material. One count of second degree possession of the same and one count of third degree possession of the shame the same. Also one count of endangering the welfare of a child. His hearing is scheduled for Tuesday. This is what he looks like? Yeah, this is him, like, out of Santa stuff.

[B]

Now, are we sure he just wasn't putting all those kids on the naughty list? Because they've been very naughty. They've been making pornography.

[C]

Yeah, that's true. He was just seeing who he can't drop fucking toys off to.

[A]

It's just evidence.

[C]

Which, if you think about every guy who plays Santa without the Santa outfit on, does look like a pedophile.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's like a prerequisite is to have CP on your computer.

[C]

Oh, for sure.

[B]

Santa Claus. To this degree, you need to almost dress Santa Claus adjacent year round.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

To not look like a pedal. Strikingly odd.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Well, also too, it takes a long time to grow a beard. So you know, it's not like.

[C]

And it's yellow around his lips too.

[A]

Oh, he smokes Newports.

[C]

Yeah, he smokes a lot of cigarettes.

[B]

Well, that might be that he bleaches it if it's yellow.

[C]

No, but that didn't look like a bleach yellow. That looked like I don't wash my mustache yellow. Like I get soup caught in it.

[D]

And have his website if you.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, he looks like a good Santa too.

[C]

He does look like. Wow. See what a difference that Santa outfit makes?

[B]

But I'm saying, like, if you're not Santa, if you're gonna be committed to the look, I get it. But when you're not Santa, you gotta wear like the red overalls, a Hawaiian shirt, but Christmas themed or a sweat or like a T shirt. That's like my day off in Christmas funk.

[A]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[C]

You know, drive a van.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or yeah, overall something. It's got to be Santa adjacent so that when little kids see it, you be like, oh, that's Santa on his day off.

[C]

Right.

[B]

As opposed to don't go talk to that man.

[C]

Yeah, Santa likes the bottle king a lot.

[A]

Can we leave a review right now?

[C]

Can we call him?

[A]

No, let's leave a review. Be like, my daughter has been non stop crying and she won't look me in the eyes.

[C]

How do you discipline her thumb in the ass?

[B]

Hi, I'm not here. I'm not asking about the. I'm not calling about the Santa stuff. I heard you're purveyor of fine art and I've been a very good boy this year.

[C]

Yeah, very good. Now here's my email address. You could just forward this over, make sure it's encrypted.

[B]

You come down my chimney into the dark web.

[A]

I'm a big fan of your most recent work. I have a bad 8 year old that I need you to take care of.

[C]

Yeah, and I have a video camera. You have to bring your own.

[B]

Hey, I heard the passwords lump a coal. All right, let's do one or two more things where we get out of here. Busta Rhymes curses out content creator who called him Tracy Morgan.

[C]

Yeah, I saw that. I mean, and if there's one thing.

[A]

They don't like is you're confusing them with another one.

[C]

Did he do that on purpose.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he's definitely did. Pause. This kid's trying to do a bit where he calls celebrities the wrong thing and embarrass them. Busta Rhymes caught on to it right away.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's about to smoke this kid for trying to embarrass him.

[A]

Now, is this guy behind the kid, the white dude, Security or he's busted? Security.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

Me.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

My boy said blames his friend right away.

[A]

Did he just say the nword? Hell, yeah.

[B]

Let's go.

[C]

He's got a black dude in the hat.

[D]

So.

[A]

Tracy let himself go. I'm asking you a question.

[C]

When did Bust the Rhymes get so fat?

[A]

I thought he, like, worked out on.

[C]

Yeah, I thought so, too. Now his name is Buster Buttons. Am I right, guys?

[A]

I ain't hear nobody say Tracy.

[B]

Oh, he is.

[A]

He's scared, bro.

[B]

He is barking down this little bed. Pause. I like that. He goes, not taking pictures. You try to show love. You trying to be funny.

[C]

Yeah, but I mean, in all fairness, he is starting to resemble Tracy Morgan a little bit.

[B]

Sure, but there's a difference than if, like, one of our moms said, are you Tracy Morgan?

[C]

That's true. Yeah. That's a very good point.

[B]

That if a kid does it. Because he's obviously mocking him.

[C]

Yeah, but I mean, the. The whole thing he fell back on was that he's like, oh, that's what my friend said.

[B]

Yeah. And he goes, I didn't hear nobody say, yeah, exactly.

[C]

And he sails his friend right down the river. As soon as bu. The rhymes got mad, he was like, oh, my friend said that about you.

[B]

I thought, let's finish it.

[A]

Him. Him with the camera.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, Hit him.

[B]

What's happening?

[A]

Funny salesman. Oh, that's the. These are influencers. The black. Think so.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Well, they just got bitched out by a real man.

[C]

Yeah, that's. You can't play around with those old fucking 90s dudes. They don't. They don't fuck around like that.

[B]

Yeah. They're still real, huh?

[C]

Yeah, they don't get. They don't take too kindly for the YouTube pranks and all that bullshit.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I would still would have loved to watch Busta Rhymes slap him.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just like. I mean, of course.

[B]

Who doesn't want to see that?

[C]

We all did. That's where I was hoping it would go. I didn't watch that full part of the video. I just watched him, like, calling him Tracy Moore. But I would have loved to have watched him just get fucking smacked. Because I hate all these influencers, these young kids that do this shit to people.

[B]

I gotta be honest with you. I have no issue with it.

[C]

I don't have an issue with it.

[B]

I mean, I know it's with them getting hit.

[C]

Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't have an issue with it. But I still love to see, like, the poetic justice of them getting smacked. Or like, when they're going up to people in the hood and pulling their pants down and shit.

[A]

They need to bring those back. Like, after those. A few people got jumped and killed. It just kind of stopped and people kind of learned.

[C]

Yeah, he should not do that. Yeah.

[B]

Well, we'll end on this. This story Mrs. Amico actually suggested for the show. Woman drives three hours to confront a man who made racist comments about her online.

[A]

I think I seen this.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Drove three hours to confront a man who left. Left really nasty and racist comments on one of her videos.

[B]

I'm going to show you that video in a minute. I got it from this account right.

[D]

Here that the villain you made is actually private. And that's the woman who did this.

[B]

Make sure you stay to the end. And you have to tell me what.

[D]

You think about this.

[A]

This is the right building. Thanks. I think this is his car.

[C]

Oh. All right.

[A]

Let's see how this goes. Like I has Christmas. Hello.

[B]

I'm looking for a mic. Does a mic work here? Yeah. Can I speak to him?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

What's. What's this about? Are you Mike? Yeah. Can I step inside?

[A]

It's cold.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

How you doing?

[B]

How you doing? Nice. Oh, man. You can't invite him in.

[A]

Ago he left a comment under somebody.

[B]

Yeah, under somebody's comment section. Do you remember that by any chance?

[C]

He probably does so many.

[B]

It was regarding Tennessee District 7. Yeah. Well, John, you don't know me. I don't know you, but I was that person that you commented under. Yeah.

[A]

It's crazy, right? Crazy world.

[B]

Oh, this is scary.

[A]

Oh, the girl I called Lizzo.

[C]

It's not.

[A]

It's not cool.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Me and apologize or I'm going to.

[A]

Show you a wife. The Grounder account I found.

[C]

No.

[A]

Right, Right.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

Crazy world out here. So the last thing I thought you.

[B]

Would be is a happy in.

[A]

You know, you don't have to.

[B]

I understand it's hard, but all you have to do is read this nice little apology I wrote.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

Mike. Huh? Do apologize for my actions. I don't know if I believe this now.

[A]

Yeah, this could be staged.

[B]

This could be state. I feel like she would show him.

[A]

I'm calling the cops, bitch. Like, are you stalking me? You know it's a federal crime, bitch.

[C]

And why would you let a stranger in your house this day?

[B]

I don't think it was a house. I think it was a business. He went to his job.

[C]

But still, if they're asking for you, like, are you Doug? No. Slam. Yeah.

[B]

It should have been like that shadow. Remember that Chinese food restaurant where they went to film and the guy just came running out of the back with a pot and started swinging?

[C]

Wait, what?

[A]

What was that? What was.

[B]

Dude, it was. Yeah. I don't know if I believe this, just because they never show the guy. It was one of those, like, shame on you kind of things. And they tried to go. It was a Chinese buffet. And they go to the back to try and walk in the back and film, and just the guy comes running like.

[A]

But then they go.

[B]

A year ago, when we tried to do this before, the same man. And then they show him just a year earlier.

[A]

Again, swinging at him.

[B]

He just runs Egypt, where every time he sees cameras, he just fucking beelines at him swinging a pot. Shannon, you can't possibly. Chinese buffet, Chen. I don't even know how to find.

[D]

It when you chew. I'm trying. Hold on.

[C]

A Chinese buffet?

[B]

It was a Chinese buffet. Health code violation, like, news thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was so fucking fun. It looked like a Mr. Show sketch.

[C]

I have to see it.

[B]

Where they cut to a year earlier and it's the same guy. It was the funniest fucking shit, dude. Shannon, you don't have any luck, do you?

[D]

Not yet. Hold on, hold on.

[C]

When Chinese people get mad and they lose this, it's some of the funniest things. And just because the way they yell.

[B]

And by the way, this place had, like, you know, like, it was like 55 violin.

[A]

It was.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

All. Everything that could be wrong.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And they just kept leaving their back door open.

[C]

So I think any Chinese buffet has, at any given day, you walk in there, there is at least 25 fucking health code.

[B]

I don't want to see the. The kitchen.

[A]

I don't even write violations. Health co.

[C]

I. Could I. First of all, they're filthy. And the fact that you have to keep turning out food that quick. Yeah. You see empty food, like, uneaten food on it. You're putting that wonton back in there and reserving it. Chinese people are just Jews with slanted eyes.

[B]

Jesus Christ. Thank You. They try to save every penny.

[A]

Yeah. The whole kitchen staff lives in the same house as the nail salon down the street.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They all got brought in the same shipping container.

[C]

And that's always funny when you do see that next to each other, like the Chinese food store, then the nail salon, and they have conjoining doors. It's like you're just switching over so you could cut back on your employees.

[D]

Oh, I believe so.

[A]

I knew what it was, but real quick, I knew what it was. The first time I was. I think I was outside of a breakfast spot and there's a nail salon. And this one of those church fan pulls up and the whole staff comes out of the. Like every single nail tech comes out of that Vance. I'm like, oh, they all got shipped here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're in a two bedroom apartment, all 12 of them. And it's just like, here. Go to work and come back home.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're probably not allowed.

[B]

My wife got her nails done and she was. I saw they had like big massage beds in the back, but they don't have massages there. Why would they have that? I went, honey, they sleep.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Because they're there 18 hours a day.

[C]

That's the quarters.

[B]

You guys gotta see this. We'll close on this. This, this is my favorite. This is it.

[A]

Put up with questions. He and his photographer were attacked.

[B]

Oh, this is definitely explosive.

[A]

Dirty dining report, ma'. Am.

[E]

Can we talk to somebody about the inspection?

[B]

Ma', am, please.

[A]

Oh, these are actual health inspectors.

[C]

Well, it's the reporter.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

And we are under attack. The inspection.

[A]

You can't touch the camera. That's assault.

[B]

That's assault. Hey.

[C]

Oh, look at this old man swinging back.

[E]

At first, he shoves at me, grabbing the microphone in my hand, trying to get his hands off. He goes back into the kitchen, grabs a hand. But just as he tries to come back out, it appears someone pulls him back in. I grab parts of the microphone he ripped apart in the struggle. And we leave. This place is China buffet. The address, 18690. Oh, no, that's in the country club plaza in northwest Miami Dade. Miami lakes border. Last week, an inspector showed up here during a routine inspection. Found 21 violations order the place shut down. And among the violations, live roaches crawling on a wall above a sink on a beverage station counter. At the hibachi station, fish and chicken were being held at unsafe temperatures. There was no sanitizer in the dishwasher. Turned twice before China Buffet.

[B]

You got to see where they Open.

[E]

And if this face looks familiar.

[B]

Hey, how are you?

[C]

This is the.

[E]

Has been flying insect second time. China buffet has been inspected 46 times. Racked up 546 violations since April.

[B]

What do you have? What do you have to do?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

The state has issued thousands in fines.

[A]

Porn in your laptop.

[E]

Crawling back. The department of business was professional regulation has said before they work with businesses to try to bring them into compliance. And their goal is not to yank licenses permanently, even for repeat offenders. So China Buffet was allowed to reopen again following an ordered cleanup and reinspection. I want to talk to somebody about the inspection.

[B]

Fun side.

[C]

Hey.

[E]

And we're attacked for simply trying to hold them accountable. Instead of answers. We got aggression from a restaurant. It should be answering to you, the public.

[A]

Stop with them.

[B]

Wong Tong soup in peace. It's never good when your response to a camera your restaurant is.

[C]

And how do you not run away as soon you think that guy gave a about it? When you open the door and you knock, knock, you know that camera's getting punched. You know, sounding like a Martian from Mars Attack.

[A]

He looked like one too.

[B]

Oh, that baby lift. Thank you so much to my guest, Gio Perez. Doug Yeram.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Love you guys very much. Thank you for being a part of the zoo. Thank you to Shannon and Jorge and we will see you on this Friday's bonus episode. Goodbye, Your favorite ob a coffee and join the crew. It's Acamiko morning too. It's Akamiko morning too.