Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo Episode 71: Alex Tomaselli & Damien Speranza
Date: December 19, 2025
Host: Zac Amico
Guests: Alex Tomaselli (“Super Sally Joes” podcast), Damien Speranza
Episode Overview
This raucous Monday episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo delivers the show’s signature blend of wild news, degenerate stories, irreverent comedy, and off-the-wall banter. With comedian Alex Tomaselli filling in last minute, joined by the equally unfiltered Damien Speranza, the trio dive into a blizzard of topics: celebrity deaths (John Cena’s wrestling retirement, Rob Reiner’s tragic murder, plastic surgery influencer Mary Magdalene’s fatal fall), tales of extreme pranks and “special fluids,” insane news items (the Baltimore “jizz-cident” at a firehouse, a double-drunk scooter tragedy, a handcuffed firefighter “training scam”), and personal stories that teeter somewhere between jaw-dropping and criminal.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Wrestling Icons: John Cena’s Retirement & the Toll on Wrestlers
Main Segment: 01:31–04:29
- Zac pays respect to John Cena’s retirement, calling him “an international superstar” and saluting his Make-A-Wish work. Says, “God bless you, John Cena. Man, people are pissed.” (01:31)
- The crew analyzes WWE retirements—why legends like Cena, Rock, Stone Cold, and Undertaker never totally leave the ring, noting the economic impact of injuries on major movies:
“Now if they get injured, that’s $40 million easy they’re missing…” – Zac (03:15) - Damien highlights the surreal nature of wrestler injuries:
“Have you ever met someone who tore their quad in real life? No. Has every member of the McMahon family torn their quad on TV? Yes.” (03:55) - The “broken bodies” reality:
“Their bodies are too big for their skeletons.” – Zac (04:22)
2. Tragedy & Twitter: Rob Reiner’s Death, Trump’s Reaction, and “TDS”
Main Segment: 04:33–09:45
- The panel reacts in real time to news about Rob Reiner’s murder, including the grisly details (“slit their throats...officially been charged with murder…$4 million bail”) and the media tendency to politicize celebrity deaths.
- They read and analyze a wild Trump comment—“The anger he caused others through his massive, unyielding and incurable affliction with a mind crippling disease known as Trump Derangement Syndrome.” (06:41)
- “It's like, ‘You died, it’s your fault they murdered you.’ That’s really what he’s saying.” – Damien (07:12)
- "'If he wasn’t so deranged...'" – Alex (07:18)
3. Rob Reiner’s Directorial Legacy
Main Segment: 07:39–10:15
- An impromptu appreciation for Rob Reiner’s legendary run:
- Stand By Me, Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, Misery, A Few Good Men – “What a fucking run.” – Zac (09:34)
- Standouts include the “best coming of age movie (Stand By Me), best fantasy comedy (Princess Bride),” and one of cinema’s most quoted movies (“You can’t handle the truth!”).
4. Andre the Giant: Urban Legends and Party Stories
Main Segment: 10:35–13:48
- Hilarious tales of Andre’s legendary size and party tricks:
- The “minute-long fart” on Princess Bride set.
- “In Japan, he used to have to put newspapers down in the tub…and throw it out the window into a dumpster. Clocked a guy taking the garbage, knocked him out. The guy woke up in giant poop.” – Zac (11:39)
- “His records, like, 140 beers.” – Zac (13:00)
- The crew compares Andre’s feats to those of their own friends (“Big Pete Angelo”) and delve into pranks among comics.
5. RIP Mary Magdalene: Extreme Plastic Surgery, “Alien” Appearances, and Unnatural Deaths
Main Segment: 15:17–17:40
- News breaks of “model and plastic surgery enthusiast” Mary Magdalene’s fatal fall:
- “She fell from a ninth floor hotel in Thailand.” (16:55)
- The group visually roasts her looks (“she thinks she’s a demon...it’s just too much of a not-real thing" – Alex), “inhumanness” – Zac (15:43), and speculate on her cause of death (“Was it suicide?”).
- They riff on how celebrity “fall deaths” are often mysterious or “nefarious.”
6. Masturbation Mayhem at Baltimore Firehouse
Main Segment: 20:08–23:39
- Shannon delivers the day’s wildest news: A Baltimore paramedic allegedly masturbated onto food and surfaces throughout the firehouse, leaving the department to bring in hazmat for “all high-touch surfaces, doorknobs, ice machines.”
- “I have a feeling this guy was a serial jacker…seeing how many things he could blow loads on.” – Zac (21:53)
- They riff on his possible motives (“He’s like The Jizzler…riddle me this, Batman, where didn’t I cum?” – Alex, 22:35), talk about pranks and crossing lines, and share stories of accidental (and not-so-accidental) bodily fluid chaos.
7. Epic Pranks & Bodily Fluid Warfare: College Stories
Main Segment: 23:44–29:39
- Zac confesses a revenge scheme where he and a roommate got a disliked girl to unknowingly use his semen in her expensive face lotion.
- “In my head, if it’s just me, it’s a crime. If there’s two people, it’s a prank.” (26:37)
- Damien, Zac, and Alex swap escalation stories (cum on eyelashes, thighs, stories of getting girls mad, etc.) and trade tips on dealing with chafing, bodily mishaps, and prank “escalation.” (28:15/29:19)
- Memorable moment: “Jerk off in a tissue? I look acidic.” – Zac (28:41)
8. A Family Tradition of Revenge (Butt Play & Pranks)
Main Segment: 30:05–32:04
- Zac’s dad turns out to be an even darker prankster, having wiped his ass with cold cuts to spite a coworker and putting coffee straws up his ass.
- Damien admits he keyed a teammate's car as payback in high school, then pretended to be shocked at the scene.
- “Like when they say serial killers revisit their site...I looked at my work.” (32:04)
9. School Prank Wars: Teachers, Handicapped Ramps, and “Clam Juice” Coffee
Main Segment: 33:03–36:40
- Zac reminisces on school prank wars—covering a handicap ramp, using maxi pads and melting ice cream on a jerk’s car and, most creatively, fermenting clam juice on a radiator to pour into a teacher’s coffee.
- “He had just this look on his face. ‘I chug about half my coffee every morning…and it tasted like fish.’” (36:20)
10. News: Drunken Scooter Manslaughter in Australia
Main Segment: 38:15–41:41
- Footage: two extremely drunk British backpackers try to operate a scooter together in Perth; one runs over and kills a 51-year-old man.
- “They definitely have threesomes in their spare time.” – Damien
- Discussion of the impact and fairness of the sentencing (“she only got four years”) and the weird physics of scooter accidents.
11. Stand Your Ground—On Wheels
Main Segment: 47:36–54:18
- Indiana: A wheelchair-bound man fatally shoots another patron in a bar after an argument over a vape pen—involving a female companion who caused the whole dispute because “she had her vape in her hand the whole time.”
- “It’s insane what women can lose when they’ve had a drink…It’s bananas.” – Zac (48:38)
- The guests trade stories about female-driven bar drama, bouncer experiences, and what women can hide in bras.
- “If I had a vagina, I’d be flagrant about bringing drugs to the airport.” – Zac (53:01)
12. The Science of Saggy Balls—and Ball Lifts
Main Segment: 56:41–60:15
- Zac tells of a friend’s hookup with a man of staggeringly large testicles (“It looked like grapefruits. Good lord, man!”), which leads to a discussion of aging, “sack skin,” and scrotoplasty (ball-lift) surgery.
- Shannon supplies ball-lift before & after images; Damien shares his experience with testicular cancer (“I just happened to reach down and one felt much larger and hard…within three weeks I was…”).
- Casual medical advice: “Three to ten thousand dollars” for a ball lift, “just tighten them up.” – Shannon, Zac
13. Drug Abuse & Recovery
Main Segment: 62:30–65:36
- Zac shares how he quit prescription pills and OTC sleeping aids cold turkey when producing his first film: “That was it. I think I’ve had maybe [some for pain], but I cannot handle [painkillers]. They’re just not for me.” (64:29)
- Honest reflection on addiction, with a message about knowing your own limits: “If you can handle... good for you, but be careful. But I can’t. No for me.” (65:32)
14. Fake Firefighter “Training”: Handcuffs & Groping Scandal
Main Segment: 66:13–70:09
- Ex-NJ cop faces allegations for handcuffing and groping male firefighters during “fake trainings,” putting them in “weird sexual positions.”
- “He looked like a thumb…definitely a predator.” – Damien (67:33)
- The hosts debate how dumb the victims must be (for not realizing “firefighters don’t need handcuffs”), and muse over why someone would fall for this ruse.
15. Final Goofy Kinks—Dominatrixes, Sensation Play, and Gender Roles
Main Segment: 69:36–71:11
- Zac describes the “sensation play” aspect of S&M, alternating between pain and comfort, and the crew agree they’re personally not into being dominated.
- “If a woman tries to choke me: ‘What are you doing? Get off, vagabond, harlot!’” – Alex (71:00)
Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)
- “God bless you, John Cena. Man, people are pissed.” – Zac (01:31)
- “Now if they get injured, that’s $40 million easy…” – Zac (03:15)
- “Their bodies are too big for their skeletons.” – Zac (04:22)
- “I have a feeling this guy was a serial jacker… seeing how many things he could blow loads on without people noticing.” – Zac (21:53)
- “He’s like The Jizzler… riddle me this, Batman, where didn’t I cum?” – Alex (22:35)
- “In my head, if it’s just me, it’s a crime. If there’s two people, it’s a prank.” – Zac (26:37)
- “I look acidic.” – Zac (28:41)
- “I keyed the shit out of his car one night… then had to go over there with everybody and act shocked.” – Damien (31:45)
- “It’s insane what women can lose when they’ve had a drink… It’s bananas.” – Zac (48:38)
- “If I had a vagina, I’d be pretty flagrant about bringing drugs to the airport.” – Zac (53:01)
- “It looked like grapefruits. Good lord, man!” – Zac (57:42)
- “If a woman tries to choke me: ‘What are you doing? Get off, vagabond, harlot!’” – Alex (71:00)
- “If you can handle [painkillers], good for you but be careful. But I can’t. That’s a no for me.” – Zac (65:32)
Episode Structure (Timestamps of Key Segments)
- 01:31 – John Cena’s Wrestling Retirement
- 04:33 – Rob Reiner’s Murder, Trump’s Response
- 07:39 – Rob Reiner’s Directorial Run
- 10:35 – Andre the Giant Stories
- 15:17 – Mary Magdalene’s Death/Plastic Surgery
- 20:08 – Baltimore Firehouse “Masturbation Contamination”
- 23:44 – College Pranks w/ Bodily Fluids
- 30:05 – Zac’s Dad’s Revenge Pranks
- 33:03 – School Prank Wars: Clam Juice Coffee
- 38:15 – Australian Drunk Scooter Death
- 47:36 – Wheelchair Bar Shooting Over Vape
- 56:41 – Ball Lifts, Testicular Cancer, and Ball Care
- 62:30 – Zac’s Recovery from Pills
- 66:13 – Handcuff “Firefighter Training” Scandal
- 69:36 – Final S&M/Kink Banter
- 71:11 – Outro
Tone & Style
True to form, the episode is vulgar, raw, delightfully low-brow, and packed with no-holds-barred confessions and gallows humor. Zac’s easy rapport with his guests leads to unfiltered story sharing—often grotesque, always funny. The show oscillates wildly between sincere admiration for pop-culture icons and outlandishly inappropriate, sometimes criminal anecdotes, delivering both laughs and the ultimate “I can’t believe they said that” podcast energy.
Summary by request. Listen with caution and a strong stomach.